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living emotionally abusive person enabler mother great really make feel awesome mom start falling love guy total deadbeat prick year later let u psychologically abuse much want wonder kid zero contact completely look past horrible behaviour one time started yelling lecturing really minor thing like throwing away expired food still wanted cook mom told find one really love life going thing love thing hate thing could horrible thing tolerable much love sounded really manipulative like okay yelled get abuse enables always defends whenever bring saying thing like going hard time right grew bad household sympathy fucking tired could go sometimes not bad guy laugh lot know love mom treat u like shit not respect u time mom okay make want harm even make feel depressed point suicidal sick honestly not know mom feel like need life | suicide |
hey want join discord server dying need active people close knit community like dark joke talk life pm interested mod remove break rule age well | non-suicide |
taking sat tomorrow wish luck fillet filet filet filet filet | non-suicide |
hey know hard feel like not care ah fuck listening emo music kill owo | non-suicide |
ready leave world wanted experience lot guess not supposed promised give another year trying promising year since make thing better thing give peace knowing not longive decided ready give lot trying thinking planning make situation better come one friend family outside family causing problem one reach help also energy physical cognitive ability help need not able take medication daily like need even remember day even pill container shit labeled not take shower everyday like want need mixed hair thick curly need lot work keep healthy r curlyhair lol not able need year not leave house walk around store not friend even online friend not energy talk people remember thing anything push working took health bad completely unable even take care result denied disability not doctor note not dr knew disease not supportive not know kind want make video something tel people fucked america disability system gotten disability like none would ever happened would living life different would wanted kid would nurse aid help around house care appointment med cleaning would section housing would would dog esa positive planned new life realized live denied disability detrimental even though clearly disabled illness not recognized legally fuck absolutely ridiculous wish right deserved anyways tried hardest get section disability went back working brother not working kept job making hr nanny would hire ruined health overworked parent neglectful manipulative not understand condition cause push physically even talked specialist disease would told fucked damaging health tried getting house could not shelter option scared alone know not advocate street day take care not med anything not know man everything shit anyone read thanks wanting kill long ending life longer able care seems like best decision brings lot peace scared know thing not hurt anymore | suicide |
reason livehi continue living good reason stay | suicide |
lost layer youtube character design still final product not really make expression pose right unless redraw everything f chat | non-suicide |
meat sack hard killi tried kill friday night took whole box benzos remainder box codine based pain killer half box washed beer half bottle wine woke next day monster headache slept lot honestly girl hell take fucking hate job hate life hate meat sack yeah family friend love long supposed endure utter misery sake not hurting want not even right sorry venting | suicide |
hihi actually not well tonight wanted talk | suicide |
need help life picture perfect want end good morning thought writing post sub since around creating deleting post time time go nothing year old sophomore college everything going not abused traumatic childhood crap couple long lasting relationship handful quick one come background loving family problem physically appearance blessed probably part feel guilty depression wanting kill last third life pretty much constantly suffered depression simply not motivation live thing believe kept killing probably sister every time imagine relief not wake ever picture would like close grew learning need protect would crush heart went thing often think consequence potential action one hand dead not give damn hand picture loving parent sibling would deal normally picture enough stay strong lately starting think fuck not sure gone therapy year tried different medication ranging anti depressant anti anxiety adderall nothing really numbs dull constant comfortable ache not motivation go class barely feed putting strong front front friend family becoming difficult feel hopeful one day hit car die collision way family would take solace not pulled trigger anyways hopefully not sound like much ingrate thanks reading | suicide |
stick fork jerry done sick best shat sick spending hour shaving everyday skin terrible sick spending time hair look shit sick putting effort appearance one giving shit sick one noticing whether around gone sick always one make first step sick not able talk girl afraid one wrong move brand creep predator sick listen everyone else problem one caring mine sick everything effort sick tired time despite getting enough sleep sick friend sick everything geared toward friend couple sick failing everything try sick one not fun sick working shitty job people treat like shit face consequence sick spending whole life trying kind respectful seeing men demonized lecherous sick deteriorating mind elderly making decision whole population sick spending hour dating site apps never getting response sick given bullshit advice | suicide |
everyone hate included begged old friend let back social circle said fucking terrible person want fucking slit wrist never courage fucking eat drink death instead | suicide |
tf reply supposed reply like trying reply lol somone help | non-suicide |
reoccurring thought hanging overdosing sleeping pillsmy heart hurting life tough want give not know go point right | suicide |
advice highschool hello freshman highschool virtual learning entire year never inside highschool really nervous going back person learning end next week clue class know room number not know get room someone give advice not nervous highschool say nice word wisdom getting rest highschool thought advice appreciated | non-suicide |
asked crush liked liker scared not responded help please ah nervous | non-suicide |
took bath today went school monthi missed school month due depression nothing month clearly nothing wasted month life sleeping attempting hang went school today honest good everything seems good cut toxic people thank kind people sub giving support much needed phase learnt unexplainable lesson | suicide |
stillhello everyone couple week ago wrote post titled another name suicide list survived read took pill next morning parent called ambulance not waking weird not communication always really horrible really still hate life not feel like trying kill least | suicide |
going going kill not today mother day not fair mother two day two day left pathetic sorrow feel almost peace going take pill going leave note family friend ex trying tell not fault not void inside void void always win advice die not feel like necessary possesions like not worth | suicide |
ramblings love suicidal girli suicidal requited love fantasy eventual suicide partner find love follow girl year younger partner sadly lost boyfriend car crash together since high school girl gorgeous educated well traveled adventurous normal something partner together since high school well used travel go adventure try every extreme sport capable much fun became depressed blob actual blob physical appearance changed well longer fit pretty grieve loss not know long hard together since learned become adult together sort wish would leave deserves much refuse think hope eventually return person trauma yeah right fantasize partner girl get together pas perhaps common ground make grief little bit easier similar know would perfect match thanks reading not even know belongs anyone else fantasy others life like passing | suicide |
not want quarantinedim starting get suicidal thought self harming already spring break school likely online week mom leaf around get home pm know way commit kind scare would tell mom last time yelled made feel like selfish piece shit sorry language not want thought get much handle | suicide |
depressed never killing soon | suicide |
hate weak hate weak want strong know take strong not energy happiest wake cup coffee hour two energy drop feel like way make situation better currently part time employed work small company cleaning house left disarray go back market need money bank statement negative work hurt dread going back not strong enough people tell smart feel like way think look thing hurt know beyond universe not god reality not theatrical everything perception brain soul live ghetto not friend understand way think using big word impressive selling drug idea nobility want go college not even money car want learn drive nobody teach free afraid nervous driver understand happening several hundred pound vehicle going fast afraid hurting people like hate drug escape make worse stopped taking want child parent put medication rowdy hate even though try nice think caused chemical imbalance brain hate much use really fat bullied highschool wanted kill several time afraid feeling afraid almost completely gone not fat anymore moved parent decided could starve would not take effort would skinny even called handsome time not feel like worked still feel fat gross inside matter people tell want love someone afraid opening loved someone life relationship gone way teenager not think deserve love burden offer nothing problem would not want impose someone cared tired time thought race need distract time like going walk listening audiobooks way really distract long enough relax liked listening audiobooks gym not anymore job hurt body much barely graduated highschool hated going much never job proud feel like already proven not become anything comforting thought suicide would like od would not mind dying happiest point would not hurt friend knowledge wanted kill either would think reckless want cry not think anymore want help one burden want help not think good enough | suicide |
suicide crisis chat line open not call hotlinefor bout month dancin taking life trying get help never get alone call hotline chat support open betweenbpm midnight seen worst night everything need anyone know chat support open | suicide |
think may finally itbeen depressed long time occasion thought suicide betrayal breaking person brought joy world constantly feel dead inside nothing interest anymore kind feeling painful one everyday contemplated dying occasion planned kept reaching people see could convinced not last night finally came conclusion ready going drank passed today plan | suicide |
anyone always method suicide close time always close chosen method exiting life sleep foot carry around also always back plan case one | suicide |
february month cease existi not anymore wait reason | suicide |
unloaded life time trauma onto online friend year really shitty fucking person rude reason put others make feel worse loser self esteem worth issue one friend called shitty behavior today glad grow still went ahead unloaded shit onto feel fucking worthless time constantly degraded people supposed care friend think shitty promise grow want bad want fucking end tired feeling worthless better dead unloading trauma good finally got think friend hate fucking unprompted fucking stupid not want hear cry not stop really want die almost could leave room take walk never go back park creek near house small shaky bridge think jump would break promise growing person though not want promise friend try better person not dead tired | suicide |
anyone else bored point insanity want converse bored anyone want talk nsfw please lonely | non-suicide |
bob goalkeeper little shit bob toy never let u score goal shot target throw away goal post haunting day | non-suicide |
like pretty girl lot | non-suicide |
parent make sense asked dad next time say going grocery store honest tell one stop hour way according disrespect making explain said want know long going take wake early say come let u go grocery store valid point said keep talking back grounded not going able go outside not understand point dick asked simple question anyways hope parent make since dad | non-suicide |
last stopis last stop | suicide |
torn need advice extremely long post therapy rd yr college briefly not take seriously even though knew feeling since mean emptiness mild maladaptive daydreaming anxiety wish put positive energy took last semester even though yr go felt not final lunge sometimes however wonder simply caved therapist older sister moved back home tackle personal issue wound working minimum wage job not serious relationship ended last month hurt mostly long time friend tried reconnect h friend within first month coming home found spending lot time alone escaping music sleep developed tried twice rid scabies instead reaching family slipped back habit bottling emotion issue let thing continue way month anxiety depressing thought kept secured perceived comfortable world head hoping become independent parent lot way felt pulled different direction money time energy felt feel lost go led false hope intention see people believe store later life not feel desire want thing tried od last week first time ever first thought date back nov found within hour two taken er stayed late evening escorted upstairs inpatient center sat waiting room admitted discharged next day follow appointment scheduled two day discharged not go still not sure triggered attempt possible numbing full extent pain college work breakup long standing family issue not possibly know certainty open therapy not medication unless last resort not trust insurance would need apply medicaid meantime worry not resolve wait get better family not baby time put stress u return work soon started making plan college driver license going back work also keep making plan another attempt combining method pouring choice major part delaying another attempt plan one successful one least not financial burden family know hurting later hurting not able promise get better not promise not get professional help fear start hate life completely advice guess really wish kind word keep going make appointment week | suicide |
lost ability delusional death want dielike people able suppress recognition fact die someday everyone course know die could happen time nobody really accepts everyone think special somehow mom dead cancer soon top dreading loss facing mortality whenever read online people try frame positively accept death live every day like last not work facing truth everything seems pointless interest anything know distraction attempt not think dying decided time not control anything life except ending term want fuck waiting get cancer die car crash shit time go | suicide |
see everybody drawing girl r teenager logo boy not leave not getting attention | non-suicide |
idea new noise pa tingg noise come good way use said noise would used | non-suicide |
dumb one girl liked told liked said liked back turn relationship asking advice always one give good relationship advice maybe asked anyway feel super dumb | non-suicide |
relapsing not know doits weird feel empty inside also really anxious overwhelmed want cry let also feel nothing not cry make sense haha think emotion bit wack trying pull ignore suicidal thought distract begin plan not want tell anyone since put medical care hated experience like hospital give flashback hahaha never good option responsibility right want stupid depressive episode already smh get depressed actively suicidal fucking failed exam relapsing go acknowledged shit please go away tried hinting bf not know bit gross say always always make available near phone case he sad dying past day not know want not know fault not want worry want know yknow trust good foundation relationship lol really not need fuck really want die haha scratching bruising not help sorry major rant posted think two day ago thanks contacted sorry not reply felt like would start typing never stop cry lmao thank caring alright want vent somewhere not grt put away | suicide |
sub porn bombed sone shit pretty much title seems like sone kind organized attack kind post sprinkled sexist homophobic racist post going | non-suicide |
end rope hey uhh never really done going start saying thank taking time read also not think would kill fear becoming reckless basically feel emotionally drained moment stumbled across sub reddit awhile ago thought maybe someone would like talk listen current year old male grew worse part canada suicide death disappointment always big role life also unfortune enough born rare case speech aperixa autism family life great neighourbour hood ridiculously horrid bullied life still bullied leading horrible self confidence first experience death little uncle died due lung cancer smoking much suicide also not money growing mother father worked job left sibling home alone lot thankfully brother stayed close sister got drug gang not suffers bi polar take older brother oldest blah not know going trying get across rough time growing death bulling poverty suffered depression pretty much whole life met girl saved love lot mean world stood grandmother side kidney failed side whole time not cry grandmother passed logical thinker knew coming accepted moved support also took basic parachutist course paratrooper proudest life accomplishment could not lifted spirit big reason anyways feel like end rope lately last month fucking horrific everything could go wrong going wrong started one closest friend killing sucked knew since like rough fault supported week best friend killed knew since stayed strong showed weakness great support family grieved awhile continued life uncle killed auntie rough really close shocked could like said logical mythological thinker dealt best way could always lean week incident great uncle visited monthly died old age sadly could not death bed due university lived hour away attended funeral lean like always always thought week ago dumped saying needed find never felt lost confused disappointed entire life like said like believe logical thinker not seem find point mind winner heart piece every time try come honest conclusion body ache weep not know love always although everyone say ill find someone else feel like not stupid sound know sound stupid hear think dumb as thinking conclusion see moment heart dedicated loyal thought anyone else redonkulous feel discarded feel old boring like simple phase made life lose meaning sudden alone friend drug addicted bad influence not want go road friend grade one university horrible social skill feel like not find anyone know aswell told everything told everything feel like lost part feel like need help not know go cried mother enough not want burden tried talk friend not get talking sudden stopped biggest part life suddenly stranger yenno weird emotional time everyone dying one fall back nobody came guy hope someone similar experience something close realize not situation need vent guess regardless starting drink lot starting stay late used home like fuck police ahah used home early respect mother father like think respectful young adult life going shit barely going university scared going fail actually scared unknown thing left used hit gym regually not even seems boring everything memory nothing make sense need helping hand not know start honestly thing currently music fave artist taylor swift not help fucking sings ex fuck wrong reddit urggh not know ranting apologize regardless guy help p realize ridiculous tottaly jumped place lot mind currently not talked anyone please forgive thank sincerely read whole post mean lot know someone listened read feeling thank also not know know love guy lot thank ill try stay read reply may get kind late doubt anyone see fuck thank | suicide |
suicide permanent solution temporary problem problem not temporary great job lot money nice car e g not friend social life whatsoever never mind thing money not buy since left college several year ago getting lonelier depressed every year come realize nothing left life best day life behind problem not temporary reality next year come home work maybe work little repeat next day not remember last time happy not even remember happy feel like honest suicide prevent spending next year miserable past not would love go sleep not wake | suicide |
please help dog looking old homework prepare class start left room heard yip went back check homework ate dog help | non-suicide |
help need help best friend talking suicide wanting die not know feeling thought not know help need help anything like not want make worse feel like one actually give fuck problem emotion | suicide |
biden election upset damn really wanted kanye win would amazing president | non-suicide |
already dead might aswell kill two year ago tried drug alcohol nicotine first time life buzz panicked heart racing body felt heavy strange immediately got feeling fucked damaged life hour incident tried sleep yet panicked still not feel normal started feel muscle twitching hear sound head couple day later felt better noticed dick felt dull could nt orgasm day still problem sex life dead orgasm weak fuck body zero urge ejaculate not longer feel attraction woman hear screaming sound head ear every time try sleep muscle twitch like crazy anxious seeing doctor problem moment subscribed antidepressant still feel fucked bad never able forgive forever live compromised life anxiety constant thought take life completely not wish sit sofa year cry fucked teenager might aswell skip window sooner kind regard | suicide |
kill tonight realwhats point | suicide |
alright boy come help going name netherite sword best comment one ill choose fillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfiller | non-suicide |
finished algebra work early bored af someone help | non-suicide |
want diei wish could wish could load gun feel like coward not wanting die let u real point even life not anything special replaceable hard trying stay strong want give bad | suicide |
anyone ever shot looking buying one online | suicide |
coronavirus day symptom today lack smell told possibility never smell | non-suicide |
make death least painful could girlfriendhey post pretty straight forward long distance girlfriend love lot gathering stuff need commit suicide think take week think life not meant people ticked enough box trying like going therapy getting medication new hobby talking people giving time etc etc go mind ease anyhow girlfriend important mental health not best high functioning autism not know make deal differently normal person would make sense giving information want know would gladly share comment thanks know case universal thing one could order ease pain | suicide |
chat shot chat | non-suicide |
not talked friend pandemic pandemic become fucking weeb gotten linguistics started learning french gotten extreme political view weird first thought realizing much changed pandemic wonder friend going think | non-suicide |
discord honest really bored discord kind want someone talk | non-suicide |
hope someone read prevent happening dear reddit year old year manage business year unfortunately thing come end longer purpose motivation drive father impersonated identity took credit loan bank orchestrated everything forged email phone call signature took year found father could not keep wrap attempted sell house car hope reduce debt burden expense bank would not care much loan signed expense business liquidity painstakingly left school operate shop front worked everyday little sleep found father sold bank slave emotional blow hard family member could not support due past experience father ended finding fault much indignant situation thought hope climbing back pain much regretted trusting family member much regret trying attempt entrepreneur known place ordinary sorry anyone unknowingly offended sorry arrogant one day could use ability charitable purpose anyone read hope could learn take extra precaution prevent happening | suicide |
need helpi point zero energy willpower not care anything not enjoy anything constant pain not even care hurt friend family leave not want anything life anymore trying best not give christmas not ruin holiday people well going stop eating drinking even thing tiring not sure even writing probably bored death want try one last time way bounce | suicide |
liked making crush said yes joke not actually gf not crush lol came pretty much caught feeling time funny work | non-suicide |
tell | non-suicide |
armi terrible morning keep looking arm older mark want slice right watch blood drip everyone see not | suicide |
ever feel stupid asked could play sonic adventure older sister laptop asked could put highest setting p older sister said not going break internet umm not going | non-suicide |
got old southern advise take twice long build bridge burn keep nose grindstone pill run far enough bound trip around glory fall get knocked sometime got hit fence mess bull get horn last one make childhood one explain one not understand | non-suicide |
small thing brightness day anything would done felt good | non-suicide |
yeah hurt much wish ball leave watch family not make coward | suicide |
violently degradingconscientiousness separating thought action e g defaulting towards inaction gotten far thought dying every day year started cutting public bathroom even stopped talking family pretty great amazing not getting skin anymore not think really feel free dead hope really not mean miss idealized fantasy dad not work hr week beyond not exist used popular year two not get single person hang flakiness netflix political correctness used swath people telling wait get better not believe decided prove wrong via scientific method not gotten better every girl come across tell guy sex compete people wanted could popular know take fickle facade anything anhedonia keep reaping reward nothing want nobody want violent framework adopt survive scare away creep one like not understand thing left take life day glad one able beat today kind wishing someone would kill not spend effort | suicide |
feeling feel good happy diagnosed w depression suck yeah passed really depressing past couple week feeling good get hard dude really even thought going back suicidal thought not good mindset feeling good mood going work hard school second week back feeling really good gym everything looking good hopefully feeling last boy | non-suicide |
want end heart others hold back not live anymore clear life not bearable adult fucked school not hold promise save life everythings joke not even care anymore every time think ending parent pop mind well sibling relative friend enemy list endless stay alive sake wish not care would not tied world | suicide |
cycle waking trying live day without ending alli good job not seem make work well day single mom literally zero help break burnt broke facing possible eviction not even luxury death child alone world somehow make worse tired not sleep not want get bed not know anymore | suicide |
get gf stopped using reddit started using tiktok next day got girlfriend | non-suicide |
involuntary hospitalization mental health resource universitiesa little bit context year old first year student stanford university stanford palo alto general recently became hyper sensitive mental health suicide soaring suicide rate locally back february particularly low day unaware side effect med zoloft took pill instead hope seratonin level boost immediately would feel better next day not feeling well monday went school health center get check told people psychological service overdose emphasized not attempt harm told suicide ideation depression moment later someone call campus police involuntarily hospitalized hour hold april depression gotten worse posted suicide note social medium not planning kill day not made specific plan expressed not want live anymore tell one plan die cop come check realizing safe leave residential faculty however call cop sent hospital involuntarily psychiatrist hospital uplift hold let go found local therapist palo alto initial intake session book appointment till june dropped class decided take intensive therapy hour week addition medication school put review forced leave absence social medium post incident write written proposal prioritize mental health meeting associate dean student affair drop review process panic attack dining hall week feel dizzy eyesight blurry not breathe properly trembling cry scared feel like going faint feel like going die friend call ambulance came feel like going faint lay head wall murmur need die painful scary campus police report banging head wall threatened others suicide get hold sent hospital involuntarily psychiatrist uplift hold let go next day go second session therapist mom freaked school report panic attack yesterday texted therapist therapist considers firing threatening others suicide matter hard try persuade not case not bend asks suicidal tell suicidal thought not plan acting right scared depression pretty severe tell want treatment help get better asks absolutely chance ever try hurting killing say not right not guarantee never happen forever fire call handcuffed sent psych ward involuntarily ward psychiatrist evaluates told university therapist hypersensitive totally treatable condition concludes reason not return campus finish quarter discharge hear nurse ward school kicked dorm meeting associate dean explain miscommunication not plan harm willing find new therapist receive treatment take med finish quarter tell disruptive stanford campus community not take care put back review involuntary leave absence receive email not allowed set foot dining residence hall without residence dean next defend front panel three judge order stay mom fly korea cry tell come home three week left quarter withdraw class come home research position summer campus school not allow stay summer plan fucked emotionally destroyed scared people feel like exposing leave house scared others feel hyper protective depression reached worse making student feel integrated university community building solid system humane reasonable accommodation support would really improve safety stanford student hopefully even reduce number suicide campus proactive measure important reactive measure firmly believe recognize need change make university welcoming safer place student regardless not gender race ethnicity also disability condition | suicide |
give fuck site perma ban not tell right buy coin give away | non-suicide |
looping thought suicidei usually think suicide time day easy distract day thought rapidly loop like crazy not want kill like want kill want kill want kill want kill want kill like broken record curious happens | suicide |
sleep not anyone would like chat would greatly appreciated | non-suicide |
yup definitely amp xb processing img jilsrpbg d_ruskovsky heheh | non-suicide |
entire family hate want conversation mom brush talk friend fucking facebook look away speaking tell shut fuck not know done wrong know nothing make feel sick could talk grandma chance hurt either physically emotionally autistic belief solution routine beating nothing basically therapist cat passed away comfort every day feel like living dream want done mom another kid actually care know would feel like brick chest find dead | suicide |
feel like need one thing leavebye everyone | suicide |
hey got new sub called r fattestdogs pic gifs fat big doggos new want get started | non-suicide |
hate meme fuckin joke | non-suicide |
randomly became confident today not understand not confident person second guess lot usually hard minor mistake believe know not healthy trying get better playing baseball time life gotten overwhelmed sense confidence cockiness not never succeed game done playing baseball not good enough play college come term playing would get random burst complete douchebag confidence walking plate absolutely loved feel like nobody planet touch want capable embarrassing team amazing feeling even make people around think asshole point story never gotten wave confidence field except today chilling zoom class suddenly got hit one wave started dming one girl class thought cute went pretty well normal never would worked confidence not know came high school last time played game freshman college not really sure think know douchebag asshole get feeling wanted guy playing not want not competitive not know handle | non-suicide |
please check edit made really pround really want see | non-suicide |
f not sleep ask random question sentence whatever dead tired not sleep theory whatever please entertain begging friend asleep | non-suicide |
suicide not option excluding presence religious belief suicide not option competitive connection based society america sometimes little financial mobility given wrong set card would make sense kill oneself realistic standpoint already bottom yet trying hardest school work see progress not allow kill not think care opportunity life inferior seen inferior many way half due born not see point yet try help see point kind hypocritical also hypocritical make post yet take month make plan feel better hour stupid emotionally unstable | suicide |
temple temporal lobe internal bleeding would die long would take without help left | suicide |
saw people judge profile pls get cookie | non-suicide |
college apps not know want major living yet gpa anyways get even lower since one three c right might go community college | non-suicide |
tip iceberg making survival horror game friend need voice actor people use blender people cide c animator dm question want invite development server | non-suicide |
guy help find realy cute guy insta hot number asked hang la time accept said spend money gf not know not know not know asking not know think broke want kiss bad pandemic etc not know say not speaked since also follows casual shitpost insta not finsta feel like need change | non-suicide |
ever wish unhear thing sometimes parent settling family issue thought sleeping not heard everything wish not want fall back asleep unhear everything | non-suicide |
saturation dodecaphony ch note serialized series new installment come whenever give feedback story entry september th ho boy today even recalling feel super faint despite recent guess start usual go woke early got oatmeal toast meaning get real dish paper plate convenient usual drove work got coffee alt course would love try real coffee way budget fed bunnet work doug since not get chipped back meant would billionaire managed mow lawn lunch break spliff r u god send went disney train station ya da ya da happened next really want write going back looking sense inspiration music sat tablet hand stressed like one working find way make end meet rent later week definitely exhausted stail humid air summer day sifted vehicle permeating stronger large amount passenger inside waiting impatiently chance land stop keep thinking driver stop train start packing thing waiting large crowd passenger leave space get feel like forever point finally manage walk outside start thinking go back home maybe walk around city rest nap salon bit thinking decide need clear mind walking around city perfect opportunity order not really looking not paying much attention specifically going rather focusing letting steam looking see place never vague sign front say chromatic love figure want enter uh find bit decrepit empty room make anxious say least looked damn near abandoned crack chip paint lying around one person inside shifting around portrait inside house picture tone scale thing inside surprisingly shiny well kept piano seemed speaks sir store help man turn around wide toothy grin oh welcome welcome welcome sorry look dirty not get many visitor hehe kick rotting corpse rat away chromatic love celebrate chromatic scale dedicated practice special technique called tone serialism know nope clue good good good see give tone influence composer pick choose tone like spoiled child treat respect deserve get anywhere want see take swig water bottle start play face change like switch becoming emotionless hard read feeling odd say least almost comforting air utter wrongness music like harsh current rushing river keeping captive within music wash eardrum somehow back train feeling nauseous basically thing last time get train instead get house whatever reason feel compelled knock bos even get speak start speaking hello sarah never told live dazed say train stopped thought knocking could please give raise lot trouble lately finance say nothing feel like forever talk alright meet tomorrow talk raise think deserve month daunting getting raise asking hoping someone help going meet back ya tomorrow lt | non-suicide |
want fucking stuck sword art online suicide depressed wish sao exists kill useless life | suicide |
not normali not anymore life miserable anxiety depression not handle anymore seeing peer time life sitting home time even though go panic attack feel uncomfortable hate every single year feel worse worse tried talk people not people not feel anxiety talking parent couple friend not close play game together sometimes go feel like going lose not want go anxiety professor making life even harder keep humiliating bullied not keep going anymore tired plus living small town poor country not know going future feel like | suicide |
want die beachi want die beach warm sun body sound wave cool breeze would pull trigger gone peace buy gun state bit slog take trip go cape cod oregon maybe south africa mediterranean hope family friend not take hard know though hope afterlife forever beach day stress nothing bad pain come real world life beach know not like infinitely better life know not live college hope die beach worry pain calm tranquility probably end dying parking lot gun store sadly one dream | suicide |
dear courtney thank everything hi courtney know never read absolutely not thank enough greatest thing life year lost broken since said not happy anymore understand trying fix thing u space case move life always home grow beautiful butterfly fly distance stay behind not far behind case lose one wing catch care secretly watching amazing life amazing memory nut shame naivety sadness came way incredible year goodbye thank lt | suicide |
back gone day still | non-suicide |
anyone else miss magic feel like last year common sensation experienced intense brutal nostalgia keep coming back moved childhood home family friend got place started career started realize empty life lonely destined everything dreadful bleak pointless life cycle suffering stress existential crisis working pay bill living paycheck paycheck spending hour friend not even really care year feel like everything get darker darker nothing excites anymore want child feel magic used feel world magic running soccer field friend magic walking mall shooting shit watching sunset outside bedroom window dreaming girl school everything hopeful magic push ups front mirror feeling like going badass magic long car ride backseat parent car watching road fly magic feeling like much life much experience nowadays feel like everything wanted already passed adulthood long spiral decay unhappiness isolation maybe human being meant live tiny part life happy hopeful spend rest life desperately chasing feeling nothing left empty tired every day feel kind hope want badly feel something deeply kid constant dullness starting see sign age face hairline receding skin starting wrinkle not talked anyone week unemployed single three year soon probably homeless stopped eating stopped sleeping well month ago made car trip old town parent long gone friend one visit walked around old house old schoolyard trail friend used bike around got pang heart intense wanted burst want die not want live knowing never magic | suicide |
got rejected second time month rejected one boy one girl feelsbadman | non-suicide |
sorryi honestly not know typing not even sure even want help anymore feel defeated lost alone knocked not want get back want stay not phase not emotional bad day going nearly whole life tried ending life tried overdosing medication make really ill reason never tried since thought maybe really phase maybe thing would get better not want breath anymore took breath maybe would feel good breathing life not gotten better since fact feel even worse ever waking everyday not chore anymore punishment going sleep not escape not even dream lonely awake thought joining military would viable maybe could die combat something make life useful nope world not let die friend year last friend dog max taken world live hell without could switched lifespan would made trade heart beat would appreciated living case curious family not abusive anything sort parent good job raising come time man life personal responsibility come play parent not sibling not world not not fault failed lost faith truth not come help came apologize want say sorry family world want apologize ruining second chance life want apologize country failing soldier giving want apologize parent wasting time best parent ever ungrateful son ever finally want apologize stranger friend family want think time left tell love please not try save late please please let die wanted say sorry save | suicide |
anyone want play dead daylight want play | non-suicide |
given bipolar destroyed want kill myselfi given realised way forward illness way people treated psychologically best plan action suicide sick alone sick relying med fucked life try make happy nothing worked seems left easy escape | suicide |