Datasets:

quocanh34

/

mental_health_dataset_1

like 5

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-10T00:33:30.000Z

d1zw2o

ptsd

Sick after crying?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1zw2o/sick_after_crying/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-09T23:47:29.000Z

d1zbbo

ptsd

Does anyone have constant ear pain?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1zbbo/does_anyone_have_constant_ear_pain/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-09T23:25:38.000Z

d1z18a

ptsd

PTSD isn't a disorder

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1z18a/ptsd_isnt_a_disorder/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-09T22:53:17.000Z

d1ylqo

ptsd

I can’t stand ignorance

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1ylqo/i_cant_stand_ignorance/

Salmon_Of_Iniquity

Hey friends I wanted to give you some light at the end of the tunnel hope for you. Some context: I’m 50 and I have PTSD from a childhood that could be described as “Yikes!” and “Holy shit, yo!”Not the warm bath of adolescence as spoken of in song, carpentry, poetry and interpretive dance. And I’m trying to write this in as anodyne and TW free a manner as I can. Anywho. The good news: I’ve been in therapy for 5 years now and I consistently see empirical evidence of improvement in my life and family. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is working and I wanted to let you know that there’s an endpoint to this madness. The biological mechanisms that underly our struggles for a normal life can be understood and leveraged. It’s not magic or voodoo. It’s just work. So whatever manner you decide to go in your journey towards healing please know the journey will eventually take you to peace. Hang in there.

2019-09-09T22:30:53.000Z

d1yatr

ptsd

Something hopeful for you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1yatr/something_hopeful_for_you/

hamsters-

i feel scared for absolutely no reason at times, and i feel ashamed, i have trouble even talking to SO about it because i feel like it won't make sense to him and i don't want to remind him of what happened to me because i feel gross about it. i either feel like it isn't real and didn't happen to me so i can dissociate from it or it suddenly feels so so so real all at once. this is just venting I can't talk to anyone about this in my life. thank you for listening

2019-09-09T20:18:09.000Z

d1wf4g

ptsd

3 years later, suppressed my feelings about my trauma, now it comes out at random moments feeling just as strong as ever

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1wf4g/3_years_later_suppressed_my_feelings_about_my/

bbbybrggs

I’m convinced I’m worthless. Help.

2019-09-09T20:18:06.000Z

d1wf3e

ptsd

My self loathing is ruining my relationships but I can’t stop

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1wf3e/my_self_loathing_is_ruining_my_relationships_but/

dddulcie

2019-09-09T19:12:13.000Z

d1vhis

ptsd

Does this disorder leave you completely exhausted? Mentally, emotionally, and physically? I have bursts of emotions that wipe me out for days.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1vhis/does_this_disorder_leave_you_completely_exhausted/

jmachine5

There are no long-term studies on results. My agency offers it and the clients who do it completely change before my eyes, they are just so much more relaxed and happy. It is great to see but I feel like if it was effective long-term, more people would know about it or use it. So this question is for people (patients) who have had RRT. Not practitioners. How did things work out for you as time went on? Did things go back to how they were before or never change at all?

2019-09-09T19:06:25.000Z

d1ven4

ptsd

Has anyone here tried Rapid Resolution Therapy?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1ven4/has_anyone_here_tried_rapid_resolution_therapy/

sneakergeek895

...and guys. I. Feel. Content. I'm not elated. I'm not euphoric. I just feel like life is okay and will continue to be okay, for the first time in I don't know how many years. I have five more infusions to go. I'm hopeful this will actually work. For context: diagnosed with PTSD back in November. Therapist approved my decision to go into a ketamine infusion therapy clinical trial. Trial is government sponsored and is being led one of the nation's top hospitals. I'm under constant supervision by licensed professionals during the entire infusion. Do **not** self-medicate with ketamine. For those curious about side effects: I did get a little nauseous, but it passed pretty quickly. Headache came along, but that also could have been because they didn't let me drink coffee beforehand (and I need coffee in the morning). Drowsiness did occur. The heartbeat monitor they placed on my finger felt like it was giving my finger a hug during the infusion, and it made me really happy.

2019-09-09T18:24:56.000Z

d1utm2

ptsd

First ketamine infusion therapy complete

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1utm2/first_ketamine_infusion_therapy_complete/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-09T18:20:58.000Z

d1urnh

ptsd

Anger in women

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1urnh/anger_in_women/

dddulcie

2019-09-09T16:28:55.000Z

d1t7rg

ptsd

First time seeing “chronic PTSD” on my after-visit summary. Phew what a slap in the face huh?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1t7rg/first_time_seeing_chronic_ptsd_on_my_aftervisit/

zoefresh321

So I made a post a couple days ago about my traumatic birth experience. And I sometimes feel like I’m okay, sometimes I don’t. Like at some moments, I feel like I’m perfectly fine, and then another moment, it comes rushing back to me. And all I want to do is talk about it, but I don’t want to at the same time. I’m probably not making any sense whatsoever.

2019-09-09T16:13:22.000Z

d1t081

ptsd

Sometimes I feel okay, sometimes I don’t

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1t081/sometimes_i_feel_okay_sometimes_i_dont/

idontknowwhyimhere15

I feel like the embodiment of toys R Us but it’s break downs R us. I just had a whole ass breakdown because I was scrolling though TikTok as you do. And my BIGGEST trigger song (fight song) starts playing. And I realised what song it is and just sobbed and sobbed for like half an hour. No my brain is filled with thoughts of stuff that has happened. So that’s fun, fresh and funky

2019-09-09T11:21:37.000Z

d1pk5z

ptsd

Not doing well

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1pk5z/not_doing_well/

[deleted]

I have my first therapy appointment today - I am freaking out....

2019-09-09T11:00:50.000Z

d1pcmj

ptsd

Going back to therapy

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1pcmj/going_back_to_therapy/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-09T08:03:37.000Z

d1nx76

ptsd

Can a girl with Ptsd from a bad relationship love someone else again?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1nx76/can_a_girl_with_ptsd_from_a_bad_relationship_love/

ShellyPhish

What do you do for work? I need some ideas. Thank you.

2019-09-09T06:03:02.000Z

d1mwr8

ptsd

Work?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1mwr8/work/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-09T05:43:23.000Z

d1mqiv

ptsd

I think my PTSD is coming back

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1mqiv/i_think_my_ptsd_is_coming_back/

aaatyjean32

My husband found out he was bipolar in March which had an spiraling effect on our lives , though I won’t go into details of what happened but it was very traumatic , I am struggling with my ptsd very badly. I don’t leave the house, my anxiety is horrible I’m gaining weight and I’m irritable, we can’t afford counseling rn so I’m looking for some help, can anyone give me some tips?

2019-09-09T04:06:11.000Z

d1ltiv

ptsd

I have been having nightmares for weeks, any tips on reducing them? Tips on managing ptsd?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1ltiv/i_have_been_having_nightmares_for_weeks_any_tips/

[deleted]

[removed]

2019-09-09T03:46:13.000Z

d1lmc9

ptsd

Want to join "Ups & Downs"? A Discord community accepting of all users (4500+)! We offer discussion from a range of topics including mental health, life and recovering from addiction, as well as active voice chats.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1lmc9/want_to_join_ups_downs_a_discord_community/

bbbybrggs

2019-09-09T03:34:27.000Z

d1li06

ptsd

I’m so tired of being traumatized

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1li06/im_so_tired_of_being_traumatized/

JustAMemeBeingADude

My friend bought outlast for both of us to play (i trust him relatively well to be around if i have a trigger). I was wondering if there were any cases of sexual assault/rape during the game since i’ve heard there may be some. If anyone on the sub has played it i’d love to know to help avoid those parts. Thank you in advanced :)

2019-09-09T02:59:43.000Z

d1l4k0

ptsd

Wondering about possible triggers in Outlast [Nsfw?]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1l4k0/wondering_about_possible_triggers_in_outlast_nsfw/

DoneUnderTheSun

[removed]

2019-09-09T01:17:34.000Z

d1jymx

ptsd

If you care for the truth watch this asap (new 2019 documentary)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1jymx/if_you_care_for_the_truth_watch_this_asap_new/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T23:39:10.000Z

d1itqr

ptsd

Medical trauma?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1itqr/medical_trauma/

[deleted]

I don’t think anything has really changed. Same medications, same diet for the most part, same physical activeness, emotionally feeling the same. Not much has changed at all yet I feel so different.

2019-09-08T22:55:32.000Z

d1ibjt

ptsd

I’ve been disassociating like crazy when I’m not stuck in bed, and I’ve been exhausted all the time. I am suddenly sleeping ungodly long hours whereas I’ve suffered from insomnia before. Has anyone experienced this? I don’t understand what’s happening.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1ibjt/ive_been_disassociating_like_crazy_when_im_not/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T22:41:56.000Z

d1i5o0

ptsd

How do I get over this?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1i5o0/how_do_i_get_over_this/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T22:40:34.000Z

d1i52q

ptsd

My family says my ptsd isn’t real, because the abuse wasn’t really and I’m so so screwed up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1i52q/my_family_says_my_ptsd_isnt_real_because_the/

remineur

hello, I have trouble identifying triggers because I almost always have intrusive thoughts, even if often I can no longer define what these intrusive thoughts look like. It's like my brain filled with intrusive thoughts without a real theme. To make it simpler I would say that intrusive thoughts are blurry, is that common? ​ I can't figure out what triggers these thoughts, is that normal in post-traumatic stress? ​ Thank you !

2019-09-08T19:55:03.000Z

d1fz4t

ptsd

How to identify the triggers ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1fz4t/how_to_identify_the_triggers/

janaoq1

Once a guy who knew parts of my history of trauma said to me "i can't believe anyone could do such evil things to someone as nice and kind as you" I know he meant like a compliment, he meant it as a nice gesture of empathy, but to this day (it has been over an year) i can't remember that phrase without feeling horrible about myself. Sometimes to the point of dissociation.

2019-09-08T19:12:37.000Z

d1fe8j

ptsd

Are you guys kind of triggered by compliments?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1fe8j/are_you_guys_kind_of_triggered_by_compliments/

Gotsims

Do you guys have any tips because it’s been so fucking hard lately and I’m losing my fucking mind from the frustration. Left the stove on as I left the house last week, and today I misplaced the humidifier and almost cost my workplace dozens of bucks. I fucking hate myself right now. I know it’s not my own fault I’m like this and yet I direct so much anger inward. I can’t get my ritalin prescription because I’m abroad and it expired. I also went off fluoxetine. So my body is back to being as vulnerable as it used to be. I hate this. I don’t know when it’s going to happen an I don’t have any specific triggers. Do any of you guys know if there’s apps or resources to stop this? Particular foods that help? Anything. I’m literally on the verge of begging.

2019-09-08T18:43:06.000Z

d1ez3x

ptsd

Dealing with dissociation

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1ez3x/dealing_with_dissociation/

ABCmommy0813

I've had PTSD since I was 13. I've recently discovered these games called Fantasy mosaics and Travel Mosaics that seem to help me calm down and stay focused; but the problem is I can't afford to buy all of them or do a subscription to a gaming site that has the games.

2019-09-08T16:28:30.000Z

d1d4zh

ptsd

What games or soothing things do you do?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1d4zh/what_games_or_soothing_things_do_you_do/

dddulcie

I’ve been feeling like I’m lying or being dramatic or looking for excuses or reasons for feeling miserable. I started crying at work yesterday. Cried for about two hours. It was kind of funny because I’m a chef, and once I felt the tears coming, I started cutting onions to cover it up 😂 Anyway, this breakdown felt amazing. An ex-coworker and friend who is now a therapist pulled me outside and asked what was going on. As I cried and told her about the trauma and diagnosis, I felt I could finally sit with it. (don’t worry, I do have my own therapist) I know this is going to be a long road but right now I feel okay looking in the mirror and saying it’s real and it happened. It was weird just looking at my hands, arms, legs, and just realizing these same things were with me when it all happened. I was so disconnected from the trauma that was forcing my therapist to give younger-me a different name than mine. I remember her saying “little *my name*” and crying and saying those things didn’t happen to me. They couldn’t have happened to me. They happened to someone else. I guess, for right now, I’m okay with us sharing my name.

2019-09-08T15:32:51.000Z

d1cdvd

ptsd

I was so in-denial of and disconnected from the trauma that I forced my therapist to give younger-me a different name than mine. As of yesterday, I think I’m finally okay with us sharing my name.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1cdvd/i_was_so_indenial_of_and_disconnected_from_the/

mrmeowmeowington

I wish I could see my therapist more than once every 2 months. I’ve had ptsd for a long time and very sick of it. I’ve had therapy and group therapy for years. I studied neuropsychology in school, even. ( when I was healthy enough to go.) I found a ketamine place within 50miles from me, but looking at the pricing is wayyy out of my or my parents reach. I feel so.. defeated. I’ve emailed the people who are in charged of MDMA assisted therapy and no luck getting in. (I’ve been trying the last 3 years, I only got a screened call and no more). I want to make changes to my life. If only my chronic illnesses and ptsd could be helped. I miss having school and a job. I miss getting to leave my room and the only reason I get to leave home, is if I go to a doctor appointment. I tried going out this week to a comedy show and it was terribly painful sitting there, I don’t know what happened because I kept bending over pain. I’m so frustrated. God damn it, who’s dick do I have to suck to get my therapy paid for. I want to get better. I want to have more power over my own brain and body. Why must everything be so expensive and out of reach?! It’s about 5k for therapy and that’s only in 2-3 weeks of ketamine therapy. I wish I could go to a retreat center where I get therapy often and get to stay there for a month working on me. Why isn’t there a contest to win that sort of prize? I think some people just have to live a certain life and make the best of it... like, this is my life and I guess I’ll have to find little ways to get through life, and understands this is my life. Find some happiness in hell. I’m guessing this may be it. I’m definitely signing a ‘Do not resuscitate’ form at my doctor’s office, this month.

2019-09-08T12:59:06.000Z

d1al36

ptsd

I’ve had ptsd for over 10 years now, with on going traumas in the last few years. Been in therapy and groups, but realize money talks when you want real help and therapy.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1al36/ive_had_ptsd_for_over_10_years_now_with_on_going/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T11:20:45.000Z

d19pn9

ptsd

You’re just “sensitive” and “tired”...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d19pn9/youre_just_sensitive_and_tired/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T08:08:55.000Z

d1897j

ptsd

No diagnosis yet, however I think I have PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1897j/no_diagnosis_yet_however_i_think_i_have_ptsd/

spekkje

This is maybe a strange not making any sence story. But I really need to get this a bit somewhere beside my head. I’m not native english so sorry for any bad grammer or sentence. I really feel like I’m making everything up. I am torturing myself. I’m doing it all myself and there is no problem if I just act normal. I have a trauma, wel more then one. But this is a about one. I don’t know what I can share here or how to give a trigger warning. So for now I will not tell what happend. Partly because writing it down will not help me now (my head is a mess right now). The ‘problem’ is I have no image on what happend. It’s all from sounds mostly. Sirines, things that have been said, other sounds that where there and more. I have some ‘images’ ofcourse but that is from inside the room where I was when the things happend in room next to me. During EMDR (more then year ago) we created some images. (Like going to the room next to me) That images keep popping up in my head. Mostly triggerd by sounds (sirines, people screaming erc). But it feels a lot like I’m now keep adding images by all the sounds. Back then when it happend (3,5 years ago) i wrote down a little bit what happend. I also wrote down 3 names involved in the story. One I never forget (Involved in other trauma) the other two I keep forgetting. Last night I decided I need to know atleast one of the two names I keep forgetting. I look for the story I wrote. Found the name and readed a bit more. (One/two lines) At that moment my mind went crazy. A whole “movie” started in my head about what happend. And a saw images on what happend but I never have seen. I know it was very stuppid to go read what I wrote down. But my head is stuck in that place everyday because it get triggerd easy (sirines trigger and a ER is close by so sirines all day) and getting EMDR again on this subject. So thats the reason I looked for the name. And before I readed it I allready created a lot off images. Even outside the EMDR but in the last years. Long story short: I’m creating images more and more from a traumatic event. It is impossible that I have seen any of those images because I was in a other room at that moment. Is it normal that my brain is doing this? Do more people have this? I’m also talking about this with the therapist. But it’s good to hear from people with same experience

2019-09-08T07:21:54.000Z

d17wy7

ptsd

My mind is making everythink up? Am I doing this all to myself?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d17wy7/my_mind_is_making_everythink_up_am_i_doing_this/

throwawaybunnyrabbit

[removed]

2019-09-08T06:12:02.000Z

d17di7

ptsd

lmao

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d17di7/lmao/

Brodymack

So about a year ago (September 18th to be exact) I was having some back pain. That pain escalated and after i tried getting up my legs weren't able to hold my body weight. After my dad tried to help me move around thinking it was a pinched nerve and he ended up getting me to the couch. He had me moving my legs up and down like i was marching while sitting hoping that would do something but all it did was keep me focused on the fact that more time went on the less i was able to use my legs and the less i could feel them at all. It happened in the spand of an hour. But i was off to the hospital and that kinda fades in and out. The last thing i remember was that damned room right before you go into surgery. Next thing i know is that im in urgent care and i cant feel my legs or move them at all. I have about a 6 inch incision on my back witb staples in and my family are in the room waiting for me to wake up. Fast forward to now. Im walkin and my feeling is not exactly up to par but its way better than what it was. Im coming up on the anniversary of it and I've been losing sleep rewatching everything that happened. All those memories and emotions flood back into my head and everytime i feel so scared just like when it all happened. So i thought id share. Not 100% if this counts as ptsd but im not sure what else to call it.

2019-09-08T05:38:18.000Z

d173rs

ptsd

So im 17 and I had a spinal AVM

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d173rs/so_im_17_and_i_had_a_spinal_avm/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T05:31:30.000Z

d171ov

ptsd

Self destruction initiate

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d171ov/self_destruction_initiate/

SymbolicTreasure

I've been needing to get this out somehow for a while. So I was adopted at 1 week old by a white couple (I'm multiracial).Growing up since I can remember I had an abusive brother who would degrade me and beat me every day. My parents knew, but refused to acknowledge it and always made it obvious that it was my problem, not theirs. I spent my entire childhood growing up alone, with no one to talk to without being degraded or scolded, so I started talking to myself. But the conversations were almost always dark. I would talk to myself non-stop about everything from how I could get back at them, whether it be by putting bleach in their C-paps or burning down the house starting with their bedroom. I slept in the same room as my brother, which made matters worse as I was terrified of sleeping and I only ever have nightmares. I would often wake to use the bathroom but I'd been too afraid to go back to my room or wake up my parents for comfort, so I'd just cry until morning. At school (a small Christian school, my parents were strictly Christian) I was shunned for being multiracial and adopted, so I tried to act out, or do anything to be noticed, which only lead to me being spanked by the principal, which made me resent people even more. When I was about 8-9, my brother raped me. Twice. It made me go almost crazy trying to figure out if I was a boy or a girl, if I was gay or straight, or what I should do. Then, my brother started beating me harder, choking me until I passed out or holding knives to my throat and making me beg for my life. He would do it every day and would proceed to beat me after for "having the nerve to be scared." After that I went to a different school (still a small private school, but out in the boonies.) I live in Mississippi so you could imagine the prejudice I recieved there daily, from teachers, students, even other kids parents wouldn't let them talk to me. I'd always been scared of people anyways, so this never bothered me. I just stay in my room and don't talk to anyone except my sister or one of my 2 friends. I'm 18 now, and am seeing a psychiatrist; I was seeing a therapist but she's never texted me back. Also I used to cute severely but I've stopped and now I'm not even scared of knives anymore, in fact, I cook regularly. But here's what happens daily in my mind: I'm always having negative thoughts, voices telling me I'm worthless or that I deserve everything I've gotten. I see things, creatures, monsters, not with my eyes but so vividly in my mind it could be real. I constantly have flashbacks of my brother and parents abusing me randomly with no warning. Sometimes tho I feel like I'm not even thinking, or existing, like I'm just here but I don't really belong here, and the list goes on and on. But that's basically my story. Thanks for reading all the way to the end but I hope at least one person can relate. I love you all, <3 -SymbolicTreasure

2019-09-08T05:16:08.000Z

d16wz7

ptsd

It's nothing special but here's my story (Trigger Warning)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d16wz7/its_nothing_special_but_heres_my_story_trigger/

dddulcie

I know my old ways (drinking, smoking, messy short-lived relationships) were bad for me, and bad for the people I was hurting. I’ve been sober for three years, trying to live a healthy life, making healthy choices, living by societies standards, being in safe and stable relationships. Just, it’s so boring and lifeless. I miss feeling. I miss throwing something when I was mad. I miss yelling. I miss being able to be mad, or be sad, I miss feeling a breeze or really seeing the sun rise or set. I don’t notice these things anymore. I think it’s mostly the dissociation. I guess I just miss being human. The trauma of my childhood reared it’s ugly head and shoved me into a lifeless fog. All I do is live by the rules, and they aren’t doing anything for me.

2019-09-08T05:11:03.000Z

d16vde

ptsd

Anyone else just crave self-destruction?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d16vde/anyone_else_just_crave_selfdestruction/

Str3ssT3std

I'm a 41yr old man. A couple of months ago I got tired of the way I've felt for 30+ yrs. Anxiety, depression, substance & alcohol abuse, overwhelming fear, undiagnosable chronic abdominal pain, nightmares, you name it. I gave in & sought help, now I'm in therapy & medicated, diagnosis CPTSD. I've read some other threads tonight so I decided to post. Hell, I didn't even have Reddit until this, just added it now for this area. I feel like it's hard to reach out because I was raised to man up & shut up. Besides, I was only sexually abused once or twice as a kid, I've heard worse. I was only beaten constantly by my older brother, who's 6yrs older than I, not my parents because they were too busy off being neglectful raging alcoholics. I don't mean noogies & teasing, normal sibling stuff. He cracked my ribs kicking me around the living room like some mafioso. Locked me in a small trunk & rolled me down the stairs several times. Hit me upside the head with both an aluminum & a wooden baseball bat to see what the difference felt like (to him, not me). Tested beatings with wire hangers, hoses, wet towels twisted into billyclubs, broomsticks, lots of other stuff. I saw waterboarding in a movie a few years ago & suddenly had a definition for one of his favorite "games". When he hit me in the head with a 2×4 & knocked me out, he was only worried that he'd killed me & would get in trouble. Right after his 18th birthday he gave me the last beating, mom called the cops & he was charged with assaulting a minor & ordered to move out, I still feel like that was my fault. Then there's all the shit I saw when my parents dragged me into bars, biker keggers, house parties ... or just forgot me in so many parking lots so many nights. I'm told my 1st birthday party was a huge kegger that went on all night, & that was childhood until mom sobered up when I was 8, dad when I was 12. Cops being nice to me while they arrested my mom for DUI (kids didn't get taken away for that in the 80's). There's more, a lot more, but I still don't feel justified in having CPTSD. I feel emasculated just because I have it. I feel unjustified because I respect vets but never went to war, I feel like they earned the right to PTSD through valor & I just had it a little rough growing up. I rationally know that's not necessarily true, but I can't stop feeling like I'm making something out of nothing. Sorry this is so lengthy, just wanted to put it out into the universe & see if I'm as alone as I feel.

2019-09-08T04:59:16.000Z

d16rn6

ptsd

So I guess it was CPTSD all these years (potentially triggering)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d16rn6/so_i_guess_it_was_cptsd_all_these_years/

dddulcie

I’ve only just begun to uncover memories, flashback, and “feel” any of the pain of my childhood. I was only diagnosed about two weeks ago, so this is all very new. CPTSD from childhood trauma. I find that I’m dissociated a majority of the time and have been for about three years. Since I started flashing back or just simply remembering things, I find myself feeling like “me” again. It’s only when I’m crying - letting something show itself and hurt me. The remembering sucks, the flashbacks and memories hurt, but I finally feel so aliiive when it’s happening. Like, the fog is gone, the walls and down, l have no fears. The weight has lifted. I finally leave survival mode. This, unfortunately, only lasts for about half an hour. Once I’m done grieving and crying and letting myself break, it’s back to dissociation until the next memory or flashback unfolds. I wait for them like a kid waiting for Santa. I’m wondering if this is common, or if anyone else experiences this. I almost just want to remember everything and feel everything and cry about everything and just HURT because I feel so alive while it’s happening. The dissociation makes me so small and lifeless. It makes me choose a simply, easy life. A routine. Something I can do while I’m on autopilot. I stopped crying about an hour ago and I feel like I’ve just crawled back into my shell. What do I do to get out of this thing?

2019-09-08T04:28:51.000Z

d16hxm

ptsd

I find that the only time I’m not dissociated, is when I have a flashback or uncover a memory, and cry and grieve that moment. Then, it’s swiftly back to dissociation. Anyone else?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d16hxm/i_find_that_the_only_time_im_not_dissociated_is/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T04:05:07.000Z

d16a3x

ptsd

Partner forgets my triggers

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d16a3x/partner_forgets_my_triggers/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T02:20:00.000Z

d157z6

ptsd

Could I have PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d157z6/could_i_have_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T01:30:39.000Z

d14p8v

ptsd

[TW] Feel disconnected from friends and coworkers because they don’t know what’s really going on.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d14p8v/tw_feel_disconnected_from_friends_and_coworkers/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-08T00:07:47.000Z

d13szx

ptsd

Dealing with severe paranoia following social trauma - any tips?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d13szx/dealing_with_severe_paranoia_following_social/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-07T23:06:02.000Z

d1349w

ptsd

Therapy types

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d1349w/therapy_types/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-07T21:48:28.000Z

d126rl

ptsd

My hatred is eating me up!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d126rl/my_hatred_is_eating_me_up/

goldenhoneyybee

EDIT: THIS IS THE LONGER VERSION AND DETAILED VERSION OF THE STORY. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM FOR A BLATANT VERSION. I come from a terrible background. I’m currently 15 (nearly 16), and a female. My family was never great, and we always fought all the time for the stupidest things. Around May of 2017 my mother moved out of the house, and I was staying with my step dad. All seemed well. Up until the beginning of my freshman year (2018), everything started acting strange between my step dad and I. It just felt like something changed. I wasn’t sure of what, however. The beginning of April 2019 rolls around and my boyfriend at the time (now ex) would come over frequently. My step dad was always okay with it and never had a problem with it. As teenagers we would of course do experimenting with what we like. At least 2 times in the dark, I would catch a figure in my window. I always ran to my stepdad, fairly confused on what’s going on. My boyfriend and I would have just assumed that it was a creep and was most likely a neighbor of mine, or something like that along the lines. The end of May 2019 comes around. My boyfriend had said that my step dad was weird. We went up to the roof, and he had explained to me that the guy in the window we kept seeing was my step dad. I then told my boyfriend to come over and we’d search through his computer, mainly through the family files to see if what my step dad had told him was true. The next morning during the car ride to school, my step dad noticed how weirded out I seemed to be, but I didnt bother telling him, “maybe it’s because you’re the creep in my window,” and causing a whole scenario, when I didn’t have the evidence to back it up. The day goes by and my boyfriend comes over. I load up the computer, and surely enough, the files are there. I called my mother and the right authorities. I had moved out of the house that night, before my step-dad got home, and he was placed under a holding cell to the nearest jail. I ended up living with my boyfriends family for a week and half (ish). I was still in school when all of this happened and I was in need of finishing the school year. The last section of the year was a part called “discovery project,” that you would do a research project at the end of the year, based off the class you got put in. You were only allowed to miss 8 hours of that class day, otherwise you’re considered a failed student. My boyfriend could drive, so one day he was taking me back to his place, and had an absence seizure, or a multi-stage blackout (I’m unaware of which is considered the right diagnosis), behind the wheel. We had rolled down a 15 ft drop, and I ended up with a concussion, so I wasn’t able to go to school, and I panicked immediately because that meant I was going to fail freshman year. We ended up sorting everything out with the faculty, and I’m now a sophomore. I had moved in with my aunt because the social worker had thought it was too dangerous to be living with my boyfriends family after the car accident. All went well until my step dad was released from his cell. They had said they placed him on a GPS tracking device. I was no longer able to leave the house without an escort or an under cover cop near me at all times. My mother lived in Kansas, and so she was on her way back down to where I had originally lived, to come there and take me to Kansas to live with her. I had transferred to Kansas, and now I live with my mother. Every single day I get flashbacks to the car accident, or my stepdad. I don’t know what to do. It gives me panic attacks and makes me pass out. I hyperventilate and start screaming in class randomly, because it all just fills my mind. I start losing myself. I have a therapist, and have therapists at the school that come rushing in if I start having an episode. I just don’t really have any other coping mechanisms besides telling myself, “you’re going to be okay,” and trying to do the 5 steps of grounding yourself. Is there any one who can come up with ideas on coping? EDIT: I’m so sorry— that wasn’t meant to be super long. Here’s a basic run down for people who doing want to read— I got sexually exploited by my step dad, got into a car accident, and can’t seem to stop having panic attacks.

2019-09-07T21:47:17.000Z

d12696

ptsd

Coping mechanisms please.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d12696/coping_mechanisms_please/

juiceepeach

tried videos and work books but nothing seems to be clicking

2019-09-07T17:57:32.000Z

d0z9f8

ptsd

has anyone healed themselves on their own at all? how?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0z9f8/has_anyone_healed_themselves_on_their_own_at_all/

[deleted]

Like it's terrifying right? Kind of VERY anxiety inducing afterwards and just terribly scary?

2019-09-07T12:27:07.000Z

d0vdal

ptsd

Intimacy is scary, right?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0vdal/intimacy_is_scary_right/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-07T12:24:27.000Z

d0vcfc

ptsd

Does anyone else like, search for reasons not to like someone when things are going well?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0vcfc/does_anyone_else_like_search_for_reasons_not_to/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-07T08:46:36.000Z

d0tmpi

ptsd

I think I'm gonna talk to my therapist about it. I never thought about it but I finally talked to a friend who was in the same experience with me said she hasn't been affected by it nearly as much as me

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0tmpi/i_think_im_gonna_talk_to_my_therapist_about_it_i/

[deleted]

Sorry I really don’t have the energy to explain any further than: I am not doing well at all. I am afraid of everything and everyone. I am functioning on the outside okay, but the panic attacks are too much. I’m on meds and in therapy. Afraid of being “locked up” because that’s the source of this.

2019-09-07T06:33:59.000Z

d0sn55

ptsd

Is there any inpatient care, anywhere in the US, that could handle someone with ptsd from institutionalized abuse?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0sn55/is_there_any_inpatient_care_anywhere_in_the_us/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-07T05:16:10.000Z

d0s0bu

ptsd

Diagnosis made everything worse.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0s0bu/diagnosis_made_everything_worse/

[deleted]

I could be with someone if I just was someone else. I could deal with intimacy and just BREATHE if I was someone different for a while. But I'm always going to be in this body, and I want intimacy and romance so, so badly. So I'm just going to have to learn how to be in these situations without it hurting so much. It's just hard to let someone know me.

2019-09-07T04:39:07.000Z

d0ronf

ptsd

God I just wish I was someone else

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0ronf/god_i_just_wish_i_was_someone_else/

iDIDit4theWOOKIE

I was abused through my entire childhood, from before I can remember til I was 16 when it only stopped because he was arrested for it. My mom stayed with him and keeps trying to push him back into my (and my children's) life. Every so often new memories surface and I ask myself why I still have contact with her. She knew the whole time, she had to have known and she didn't do anything to stand up for us girls. She stayed with him and supports him through it all (and became emotionally/verbally abusive after his arrest because I spoke up about it) And it freaking hurts even 16 years later. So now that I see that I need to distance myself from her, how do I go about it while doing damage control with the rest of the family? Should I even care if they get upset? Finally, would talking to a therapist help sort out how to do it and give me the final push? Thank you for any wisdom that you can share with me.

2019-09-07T03:32:33.000Z

d0r2db

ptsd

When you figured out that you had no boundaries, how did you go about building them?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0r2db/when_you_figured_out_that_you_had_no_boundaries/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-07T03:31:16.000Z

d0r1wh

ptsd

Questioning

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0r1wh/questioning/

helpmeandmygf

I hope this is allowed here. I made a throwaway for this since my girl and I both use reddit and she’d likely see me posting this on my main. I am posting this here and on r/sex My girlfriend and I have been dating for three months without sex. She told me she was raped a couple years ago and has never had sex besides that, so she needs to move slowly. Last week she told me she is ready to have sex with me but now I am worried and have been putting it off. What if we start having sex and she has flashbacks or something? How can I make sure she feels safe with me? r/ptsd, your advice is very important to me.

2019-09-07T03:10:42.000Z

d0quqp

ptsd

How can I make sure my girlfriend (who has experienced sexual trauma) feels safe with me while we have sex?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0quqp/how_can_i_make_sure_my_girlfriend_who_has/

BestWesterChester

I want to be compassionate and loving but it’s very hard when she is so angry. She can say some very hurtful things to me, and it’s not possible for me not to have some emotional response...but that only seems to make one of her episodes worse. Any advice?

2019-09-07T03:00:20.000Z

d0qqx1

ptsd

How can I help my Partner with PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0qqx1/how_can_i_help_my_partner_with_ptsd/

roly_polygum

I tend to have anxiety when it gets dark and it’s getting time for bed. Then when I’m actually in bed, I put off closing my eyes and falling asleep until I can barely keep my eyes open. I rarely have nightmares but I can’t seem to let go of being awake. Does anyone else relate?

2019-09-07T00:35:36.000Z

d0p6vh

ptsd

Anyone else scared of falling asleep but not because of nightmares?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0p6vh/anyone_else_scared_of_falling_asleep_but_not/

[deleted]

Tw: domestic violence / murder Ive had two instances in three weeks with triggers about coworkers re: domestic violence. The first I think I posted before about my coworkers talking about swearing at their husbands, being locked out of the house, burning their partners items, etc Today was worse. I had diversity training which I wasn't worried about. (I am pretty diverse as a disabled gay widowed trans man living in poverty.) Well that was a disaster. We had a group project - guaranteeing my company got it from the Internet - where we had to rank personal responsibility. It was a wife who disobeyed her husband to meet her lover and then was murdered by her husband's employee for her disobedience. Well fuck. The only people in the entire room who didn't say the wife wasn't at fault for her own murder were me and an awkward white dude from IT. I was really happy when he stood his ground with me and said he (and I) would not stand by any group decision saying she was responsible for her death because she disobeyed her husband and this was a hard rule. People in the room compared her to child trying to touch the stove or stealing cookies. People said that he made the rules so it was her job to follow them. I am disgusted by how ingrained domestic violence and domestic abuse are ingrained in our country but I also want to find a new job. I don't want to work with people who think I deserved what happened to me because he hurt me because I didn't obey him.

2019-09-07T00:24:19.000Z

d0p2ks

ptsd

Coworkers

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0p2ks/coworkers/

RobboRogue

I’m tired of the sleepless nights And all the reoccurring nightmares that keep me up. I’m tired of trying to be “normal” When all I want to do is find a place to hide and cry. I’m tired of feeling scared of things that I know I logically shouldn’t be scared about. I’m tired of having to explain. I’m tired of people thinking that I’m just using my illness as an excuse when I try to explain my triggers and they can’t understand them. I’m tired of trying to be happy but my heart tightening in fear anytime someone is nice to me because it thinks that person is just being nice so they can physically and emotionally break me. I’m tired of my brain being filled with a million thoughts making a million different connections because it’s always feeling in danger. Im tired of trying therapy and medication and still feeling this way. I don’t know what to do anymore. All I know is I’m tired of being tired.

2019-09-06T21:53:42.000Z

d0n86c

ptsd

Tired of feeling tired

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0n86c/tired_of_feeling_tired/

MidnaTheWise

Man it’s been a while. Here were the factors in my environment and something my therapist tells me to register when I feel this way: * Have I eaten? * Have I had enough water? * Am I overwhelmed? * Are there people around me who care about me? These are important things to remember as the sensations I was feeling were: * Like a blanket of dread. You don’t initially understand what’s happening but something bad is going on so you HAVE to freak out. * I have a habit of looking up medical diagnoses because I just recently had thyroid surgery so SOMETHING ELSE must be happening. This was the main trigger to set me into: “I AM DYING SJAKAJDBDKSKSBS” * I had to put my fingers on my throat to check my Plus because I had to remember to breathe. * I felt like my mind wanted to rip out of my physical body. I was...watching myself. * The self hatred set in of “you did this.” I work at a health insurance company and a psychologist came to do a lecture about people who experience PTSD. It is not JUST mental. It’s physical sensations. She said she has had to train patients how to breathe productively again. Like shit, I went to a neurologist who laughed at me when I said I felt dizzy after a few tests and said I had, “Somatization.” Or your feelings are valid but there is no medical diagnosis. All of this is a reminder of my own journey. I am planning my EMDR in about a week and it is NOT going to be easy. It makes you look at yourself in the mirror and shape your thoughts. I am 25 and I am tired of this battle I’ve had for almost 15 years with my anxiety. Just know you’re not alone and everything you are experiencing MATTERS. Even in philosophy, absurdism which essentially almost rejects everything, does not reject the moment or the self. You are important above all else. My name is Athena and I’m a writer who does public speaking about my own experiences in terms of my mental illness and my rape. I am always happy to listen if I can.

2019-09-06T21:33:53.000Z

d0mywp

ptsd

Had my first INTENSE panic attack in 6 months. *potential NSFW*

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0mywp/had_my_first_intense_panic_attack_in_6_months/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T21:27:15.000Z

d0mvri

ptsd

Need help

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0mvri/need_help/

Heyheyheywhatisay

I’ve had PTSD for at least 20 years but am only now in therapy for it the last few months. I still don’t understand my triggers yet. Sometimes it seems like everything is fine and all the sudden I have anxiety/hot flashes for no reason. It’s exhausting. This might happen 4 or 5 times a day. At work I have to lock myself in an office, and then I use IFS therapy to help me cope. I’ve improved but this is still very distressing. What do you guys do to cope? Thank you.

2019-09-06T21:26:21.000Z

d0mvbc

ptsd

Random triggers all day?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0mvbc/random_triggers_all_day/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T17:23:42.000Z

d0jo97

ptsd

My brain hates me!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0jo97/my_brain_hates_me/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T14:33:31.000Z

d0hgdb

ptsd

Hand Tremors?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0hgdb/hand_tremors/

rainbowunicorn199

The other day I was laying in bed with my boyfriend and things started to get intimate. At first I was into it, shortly after I asked if he could go grab a towel (we were staying in his moms trailer that’s next to her house as we evacuated from the storm) he declined and I no longer wanted to continue. He grabbed a handful of my hair and dragged me towards him and I shut down and went down on him. When I tried again to stop (never verbally ) he did it again. While normally this is something I am into at the time I wasn’t, and I don’t know why I didn’t just ask him to stop. He will whenever I want / need him to with no questions asked , and will just lay down and hold me. my ex used to be very abusive and I used to just shut down and let him do whatever so he wouldn’t hurt me. Now I can’t stop feeling on edge around my boyfriend and I really don’t know how to talk to him about this because I know he did nothing wrong but it’s really effecting how I feel around him .

2019-09-06T13:28:35.000Z

d0go6f

ptsd

TRIGGER WARNING

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0go6f/trigger_warning/

KatIsACat02

Does anyone else experience this?

2019-09-06T12:44:49.000Z

d0g6aq

ptsd

Sometimes I find myself afraid to go to sleep because of nightmares

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0g6aq/sometimes_i_find_myself_afraid_to_go_to_sleep/

throwaway0706199

I’m wondering if anyone else has this. When I’m really down and struggling during the day, I sleep like a baby at night. I also have a lot of exhaustion and difficulty waking up. When I’m doing okay during the day, I have intense nightmares and insomnia at night, which also makes me exhausted. Does anyone have this and maybe a possible explanation? It makes no sense to me.

2019-09-06T12:10:17.000Z

d0ft2f

ptsd

Crazy sleep schedule

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0ft2f/crazy_sleep_schedule/

Not_My_Name46

Hello, i‘ve been together with my girlfriend, who suffers of ptsd for the last several years of her life, for a little over a year now and I love her deeply and care very much for her and her well being. I’ve always been interested in the human psychology and what makes us do what we do, but to understand my girlfriend and her suffering I started reading and researching several books and studies regarding ptsd and the symptoms following but it always hurts me when get to the deeper end of the spectrum, because I always imagine her in these examples. But I still feel like i haven’t gotten to the point where i fully understand every aspect of the illness and what the best thing is that in can do in my Position. Do any of you know a way to learn more about it without always associating everything with my girlfriend ? Or any other helpful tips in my situation? I’d be thankful for any help Sorry for my English if anything is spelled weird, I’m no native.

2019-09-06T11:49:33.000Z

d0flao

ptsd

Learning about ptsd because of my girlfriend

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0flao/learning_about_ptsd_because_of_my_girlfriend/

Sue-uh-side-all

Long story but I was in a room once where a gun went off right next me. Nobody was hurt but I didn't know that didn't know what was happening at all. It was over a year ago now and it still replays in my head so many times in just a day. And it's like I remember every tiny detail with all my senses even. I don't have any other memory so vivid. It just replays all the time, whether I'm at home, work, alone, with people, it doesn't matter. I always think about how I didn't know what was happening and didn't even feel in control of my body when I reacted. It feels like I'm still so scared about it even though it already happened so it doesn't make sense to be scared of it.

2019-09-06T11:22:00.000Z

d0fbiz

ptsd

I'm gonna talk to my therapist about it, I think something is still affecting me so much and it's hard to deal with

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0fbiz/im_gonna_talk_to_my_therapist_about_it_i_think/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T10:44:17.000Z

d0eyoz

ptsd

Probably the worst nightmare I've ever had (tw violence)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0eyoz/probably_the_worst_nightmare_ive_ever_had_tw/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T09:25:13.000Z

d0eazu

ptsd

I'm coming to terms with my regrets

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0eazu/im_coming_to_terms_with_my_regrets/

throwawaysujgsetu

When I was very little around 9ish I had some younger kids in the family that I did sexual stuff with and it still traumatizes me to this day that I did that and I’m so sick and disgusted with myself and I’ve never told anyone and I doubt the kids even remember it but I feel like a absolute piece of shit and I hate myself for it but I just felt like I had to tell anybody and just get it off of my chest Does anyone have any tips to help move on and come to terms? Also it only happened like twice and it wasn’t forced either but if I could go back in time I would literally end pasts self in order to stop it that’s how much regret I have. I have no idea why I did these thing when I didn’t even know what they were and now I realize how much of a pos I am for it.

2019-09-06T08:49:08.000Z

d0e0mz

ptsd

Coming to terms

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0e0mz/coming_to_terms/

ThotMunky

This happened two years ago, March of 2017, but really, it started way before that. My dad was and still is an angry drunk with diabetes, and the two do not mix well. He was constantly abusive, controlling, stalking, violent and even more things with my mom. He is a big believer in the right to own guns, so needless to say he had a lot. Since I was a few weeks old, he would abuse me with almost the same intensity as my mom. He would hit us, threaten us, scare us half to death, you name it, he probably did it, and I've seen it all. I'm not an only child though, my two sisters are younger than me, but they were never mistreated as much as we were. One night after an argument between my parents, my mom left the house to her friends place. My dad asked me to come downstairs and into the garage. He unlocked the safe over in the small walkway, and took a shotgun out of it, and gave it to me, saying "If I lash out again, I want you to do what you need to do, to protect family." This was strange for his behavior, but I accepted. Eventually, he lashed out again on my mom. This one was serious though. Much louder than ever before. I went downstairs a little bit during the confrontation, and I knew he was going to do something by the way he was acting. He told me and my sister (Who was also listening and arguing a little bit) to go back up to our rooms. I did as I was told, but it wasn't long before I had enough. Something snapped in me, and I picked up the gun. I contemplated going down to say something, and I made the dumb decision of doing so. Once he saw that gun he charged at me, I still see the image in my head to this day. I could've blown his leg off, or even killed him. He took the gun away and wrestled with my mom over her gun she had, not knowing what would happen. (I'm leaving out a ton of small details, I know.) He left for Arizona the next day. Skipping over a bit, like him coming back and us having to go to a woman's shelter, skipping school and getting bronchitis, it's been a few years since. My mom lost all her local friends, and I'm currently in the same boat as her. I've started going to EMDR therapy, and that's helping a little bit. I've tried telling the friends I have left about it but I feel like they would leave me. I've been getting less and less sleep recently. Whenever I try to sleep I keep getting the images of my dad coming at me again. I know this all sounds vague, and I'm sorry. I would put more details in, but it's 12 o'clock and I just needed to vent. If you have any questions or anything, I'll get to them as soon as possible. I just wanted to share my experience.

2019-09-06T07:09:13.000Z

d0d9bi

ptsd

The fate of a family in a 14 year old's hands

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0d9bi/the_fate_of_a_family_in_a_14_year_olds_hands/

Chihuahua_enthusiast

I can't do this shit, I haven't been able to really sleep in 2 days. Every time I start to doze off its like a slap in the face with bad thoughts. Anyone else struggling rn so I'm not alone?

2019-09-06T07:06:40.000Z

d0d8it

ptsd

hello nightmares my old friend

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0d8it/hello_nightmares_my_old_friend/

daignault

Hi everyone, first post here! I suppose this is more of a question to see if anyone else deals with triggers in the same way; When one of my lesser triggers is hit (the kind that don’t send me spiraling or anything like that) it’s almost like half of my brain just...shuts down. You know Elle Woods from Legally Blonde? I become her, but without Harvard. I can’t seem to find anything on anyone having this reaction, and I’m curious/looking for validation that I’m not the only one dealing with triggers like this. TL;DR: I become an airhead when triggered. Anyone else?

2019-09-06T05:35:21.000Z

d0cgwr

ptsd

Acting Blonde as a Trigger Reaction

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0cgwr/acting_blonde_as_a_trigger_reaction/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T04:52:55.000Z

d0c2tw

ptsd

I visited the US Holocaust Museum today and felt like a jerk because I rushed through it

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0c2tw/i_visited_the_us_holocaust_museum_today_and_felt/

td592002

So I've been suffering for about 2.5 years now, not a lot relative to many of the other survivors, but I got so much better and I'm starting to notice some of my symptoms reappearing... Mostly in the form of depression and intrusive thoughts(nothing dangerous) but I'm honestly so tired of feeling how I have been, i just want to be myself again. On a good note--my best friend brings me back to being me often enough where I notice myself getting bad again, before I wouldn't have noticed and it would have just happened.

2019-09-06T04:24:22.000Z

d0bt9h

ptsd

New to the subreddit, not new to ptsd.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0bt9h/new_to_the_subreddit_not_new_to_ptsd/

homelessptsdguy

I got diagnosed with PTSD like a decade ago and went through years of therapy, EMDR, all that. It was pretty good for a while after. I can't even believe I used to live through this every day, but it's back. I mostly just need to get some of this off my chest with people who get it. My family desperately wants to talk to me about whatever is going on in my head, but I just can't. They press questions that I have to think about shit that just triggers the hell out of me. So I just keep giving bullshit answers to everything and suffering alone. Last year, I quit long term employment over harassment. I had a multiple page small-print email that I sent to HR after multiple prior attempts of dealing with it, and that ended up getting me unemployment at least. Unfortunately, in the meantime, the stress and the year of constant bullying aggravated my PTSD SUPER bad. Shortly after quitting the job, even before I got approved for unemployment, I hit a car in a parking lot, just out of stupid stress and not thinking about what I was doing. I ended up burning through my 401k paying for that. I tried to take a month off of work to recoup, and I even ended up talking to potential contracts. All said, I ran out of money before the unemployment came, which wasn't even enough to cover my bills had I not fallen behind at all anyway. Everything went to shit, and I basically ended up homeless. I'm sleeping on the floor in someone else's apartment after a few months sleeping in my car, and here, I'm waking up to roaches crawling on me and shit, almost making me wish I just stayed in the damn car. Almost seemed less stressful and less triggering to my PTSD after all. I got into online school to finally finish my Bachelor's, so I got some student loan money that's not half of enough for me to pay my bills with, and even started a job. Unfortunately, I haven't even gotten paid for my work in July yet thanks to fucking up my direct deposit and accidentally putting a typo in my bank account number. My savings account that I've had for half my life just got closed, all my credit cards are maxed out, and I keep having to borrow money to pay for food. Thankfully, my rent for the floor I'm sleeping on is being held as just another debt I need to catch up on. My work is "from home", and it's just been a complete disaster. Roaches, the bathroom exploding from the upstairs neighbors pipes bursting underneath them, paper thin walls with constant noise everywhere. I'm supposed to be working and going to school full time, because that's the only hope I have of even being treated like I deserve help, apparently. This week, the stress has been so bad, I'm barely getting any school work done and haven't put in a single hour for work, so there's lost pay to deal with, too. I feel stuck, because school isn't giving me enough to live on, but if I bail without my degree, that's already more debt than I can possibly handle to take on right now. So I have to say fuck work in favor of school, even if it's entirely just because my PTSD brain is a complete asshole and I'm doing everything I can to avoid stress to no avail. Even though I'm really fucking myself over, because apparently I'm incapable of being a normal human? IT'S SO FUCKING LOUD IN MY HEAD. If that wasn't bad enough itself, it's like every little noise is a dagger randomly stabbed wherever my cruel body feels like reacting to it. I can't even listen to someone else talk in a confined place without feeling like my head is going to implode. The anxiety gets so bad I just seize up until I burst into frantic shaking and pacing around, muttering to myself how much I wish I would just die. I've been convincing myself that I'm going to die again, too. Absolutely no reason. I just can't get it out of my head. I was so absolutely convinced that I was going to die before I graduated high school, everything was surreal when I didn't. Who am I? Is this even real? Too often lately, I feel like an undefined character wandering around a make believe world. That was really bad after high school, and it's been real bad again. I feel like an asshole, because I keep trying to help my host, but they get super micro-managey and trigger the shit out of me, which just sends me yelling and raging out. I want to control it so bad, but in the moment, I just can't. The worst part is that I feel like all of this... the big trauma that I got diagnosed with PTSD for and went through all the EMDR and shit isn't even the trauma that got triggered in all of this. It was the abusive bitch in my earliest memory and being left to fend for myself my whole damn life before that. Probably a little more. I just feel like my whole life is a giant ball of trauma and neglect, and this whole past couple years is the never-ending continuation. I never even came out as LGBTQ to my therapist. I never really trusted him. Never dove into really much at all except the one thing. I don't even know how to trust anyone. I've probably said more in this post than anyone I know could imagine knowing about me. &#x200B; Damn. I wish there was something positive I could say at the end of this. I at least know my ass is going to get through this. I'm too much of an asshole to be put down. Right now it just really sucks and I need to get it out to SOMEONE.

2019-09-06T02:15:53.000Z

d0ag83

ptsd

In a bad spot for a while now

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0ag83/in_a_bad_spot_for_a_while_now/

ModestMouser1

2019-09-06T02:08:29.000Z

d0ad58

ptsd

Can slow speech/monotone-like voice be a symptom of PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0ad58/can_slow_speechmonotonelike_voice_be_a_symptom_of/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T02:07:15.000Z

d0acn9

ptsd

Feels like nothing works

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d0acn9/feels_like_nothing_works/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-06T01:29:25.000Z

d09wyx

ptsd

survivor’s guilt for an event i didn’t attend. help.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d09wyx/survivors_guilt_for_an_event_i_didnt_attend_help/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-05T20:52:31.000Z

d06nih

ptsd

Does anyone know how to overcome extreme trust issues?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d06nih/does_anyone_know_how_to_overcome_extreme_trust/

mar_tara

So today I was at an extreme low again.the whole week got worse every day. But when I was near giving up, I remembered what my ex told me some years ago. I was struggling with psychosis and ptsd for around 2 years back then. I felt so weak for not overcoming my demons. I dated this incredible girl, battling with similar issues, so we shared our experiences a lot. Then one day, she looked me dead serious in the eye and said "you're a true warrior. You're the strongest person I've ever met." This was the most empowering thing anyone ever said to me. I wasn't weak, I was strong for still fighting and battling my demons, I will not give up. I AM a warrior. You all are. You are the strongest people out there. Thank you for not giving up.

2019-09-05T20:28:00.000Z

d06boi

ptsd

You are a warrior

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d06boi/you_are_a_warrior/

Stressed_Deserts

I started a discord server more geared towards veterans as a lot of vets have CPTSD I hope this post is allowed here as I have searched high and low on reddit for something more military geared and wasn't able to find it. Anyone interested in helping me get it going [https://discord.gg/wppAxf](https://discord.gg/wppAxf) Or message me here thanks. If this is not allowed my apologies mods.

2019-09-05T20:13:52.000Z

d064qp

ptsd

Vet centric Discord server

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d064qp/vet_centric_discord_server/

dddulcie

My therapist wants me to go to al-anon. She thinks it will help me understand and cope with my mom’s issues (addiction, alcoholism, and bi-polar disorder). She also said I would probably meet a few people with childhood experiences similar to mine. I guess I’m afraid to go because I don’t want to think about my past, or my moms behavior. I don’t want it to open up a can of worms for me, but maybe I need to in order to heal? I’m really not sure. She is mostly sober but has slip ups about once a year now. I do think she is still abusing stimulants but I don’t think she is drinking. For those of you with an addict family member, have you gone to Al-Anon? Would you suggest “opening the can of worms” and thinking/talking about my past and my moms behavior towards me? Or am I better in the dark? I do like being in the dark and telling myself all of this is behind me but I’ve had severe treatment resistant depression and anxiety for years. My therapist thinks it stems from my past. I don’t want to have to face the demons of the past but I also don’t want to live like this anymore.

2019-09-05T20:01:48.000Z

d05ytw

ptsd

Has anyone attended al-anon regarding past-abuse of an addict parent or family member?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d05ytw/has_anyone_attended_alanon_regarding_pastabuse_of/

ikkle666

Ok so this will sound weird but I get terrible PTSD when I have baths. It starts with tightening of my chest and difficulty breathing. It's worst when I put my head under water to wet my hair. I find it very difficult to do this and I often find myself avoiding bathing. I understand that's it's past dramatic experiences from when I was a child but how and what can I do to help this now?! I'm 20 year old female plz give me some advice

2019-09-05T17:55:16.000Z

d049jx

ptsd

PTSD with baths...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d049jx/ptsd_with_baths/

juiceepeach

I dont think a lot of people understand major mental health issues. Even though other people may have their own issues, it's hard to put themselves in the shoes of someone who is almost non functioning because of their mental health. i dont really have any options other than getting help online. I'm not willing to give up on myself. I'm going to keep reaching out for help because that's the only chance I have at getting it. People seem to think I shouldn't keep trying to get help for myself online when it's my only option and I feel like I've tried everything.

2019-09-05T17:51:10.000Z

d047mt

ptsd

feels like people are telling me to give up

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d047mt/feels_like_people_are_telling_me_to_give_up/

BogShoe

I recently have been trying THC (for around a month) to help with sleep and anxiety due to PTSD nightmares, and at first it helped a bit. But now after I took a gummie the other night I had the worst reaction I've ever had and quite possibly one of the worst PTSD episodes to date. I have disassociative disorder and severe depression as well, but it was like I was disassociating and having PTSD flashbacks all at once. Without sounding too dramatic, it was hell. Pain all over, skin aching, mouth numb, dizziness, pins and needles, freezing cold. For a while I thought it dropped my blood pressure too quickly or something, but then I started hearing things from my past and seeing things as well. Has anyone else had such a severe reaction to THC related to PTSD? I know the smell is a trigger for me, but like I said, I had been taking grape flavoured gummies and also a vape pen for at least a month (not at the same time or on the same day) with alright results, but then this happened... I'm obviously never taking that ever again, it was horrific and also very traumatising. But I was just wondering if it was just me, of if anyone else has ever had something similar happen?

2019-09-05T17:16:31.000Z

d03qso

ptsd

Has anyone else had a really bad reaction to THC oil gummies for anxiety due to PTSD nightmares?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d03qso/has_anyone_else_had_a_really_bad_reaction_to_thc/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-05T16:19:52.000Z

d02z16

ptsd

I don’t think I can do college right now.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d02z16/i_dont_think_i_can_do_college_right_now/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-05T14:03:13.000Z

d018gz

ptsd

Mandatory Work Training: "How to Survive an Active Shooter"

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d018gz/mandatory_work_training_how_to_survive_an_active/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-09-05T12:21:38.000Z

d002to

ptsd

Attempting to unlock my happiness with the help of supplements/drugs

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/d002to/attempting_to_unlock_my_happiness_with_the_help/

SmezBob

The only times I’ve ever had it worse are when my mother tried hitting me, and when my dad threw a remote in my direction. A mental health facility diagnosed me with PTSD, but I’m not sure I believe it

2019-09-05T08:52:45.000Z

czy6q6

ptsd

Is it possible to get ptsd from near-solely emotional/verbal abuse?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/czy6q6/is_it_possible_to_get_ptsd_from_nearsolely/

Kalrath

When depression's made itself at home in my head, on occasion I'll stop being able to perceive the future. I can't see myself in five years, ten years, a year; all long-term plans just generally fall apart because the concept of existing beyond the here and now just stops clicking. And every time it's happened, I've been struck with a mental image of trying to look out a window at night, where the glass is just pitch black and no matter how hard I peer I can never see anything through it. I'd heard that people with PTSD have issues with dealing with the future, and in conversation with a friend in a similar boat as me I happened to mention the black window. It apparently resonated with her, because she said she had been dealing with a basically identical scenario. That's made me idly curious about how prevalent it is, and of course whether anyone's found a good way to deal with it. In my case it always seems to be a side-effect of a bout of depression, it never comes around when I'm doing well, and I've never found anything to do about depression other than white-knuckle my way through one day at a time until it wanders away on its own. I've been blessed with relatively minor problems compared to some, but that particular one is a real annoyance for me.

2019-09-05T05:18:06.000Z

czwgm4

ptsd

Who's seen the black window?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/czwgm4/whos_seen_the_black_window/

[deleted]

"You should make better decisions in spending your money" my ex tells me. I had no way of knowing that someone was gonna hack my damn bank account and *clear out every single cent*. I didn't count my savings as part of my funds because it was earmarked for specific things. Now I've got $18 to my name and the only reason i have that much is because i borrowed money for groceries and that's what's left over. I'm royally screwed. I managed to get *some* bills paid before it happened, thank goodness i had the foresight to pay my entire lease up front. But after managing to get the cello of my dreams (as in, I've had recurring dreams about it in that precise style and color) after a decade, like we were meant to be, i think I'm gonna have to face the fact that i gotta go to the music store and sell it (damn pawn shop is so stupid actually thought it was a violin... Wtf). Not like i can afford the music lessons now. And my violin... Hanging on to my viola though. Gotta have *something*. But damn, i feel like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, i have been wanting to pick the cello back up for over half a decade. I'm trying so hard to build a better life for myself but it's like the world is telling me to fuck off with that.

2019-09-05T03:21:50.000Z

czvbyk

ptsd

Think there's no way around it, will have to give it up

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/czvbyk/think_theres_no_way_around_it_will_have_to_give/

ray7989

Hello all, I began therapy a month or two ago after years and years of ptsd with no treatment. It’s cptsd, many different incidents of trauma, my therapist said it seems like a pretty intense case of ptsd, etc. I have a lot of anxiety (especially socially but also just in general), and I’m very often hyper vigilant and tense, and I have many intrusive thoughts and memories, symptoms along those lines. My therapist has recommended I see a psychiatrist (that’s the one right? I think I got it right lol) to consider being prescribed medicine to help me relax a little more. My therapist briefly mentioned Xanax I think and some other medicine as examples, I can’t remember exactly, but basically medicine that would help me stay chill. I have been taking cbd for a while as a tincture in the morning, then I hit a vape with cbd throughout the day when I need it, to help me stay more relaxed and chill, and while I can see some difference in myself with it, it’s nothing crazy. However, I am not a fan of prescription medicine in general if it can be avoided and prefer natural medicines such as cbd and others, so I’m hesitant to even think about getting a prescription medicine. I’ve heard some can make you feel not yourself, or have bad side effects. If anyone is willing, can you share your experiences with prescription medicine and if it has helped you? I’m feeling reluctant but honestly maybe I could benefit and should consider it. Thanks, and take it easy ✌️

2019-09-05T03:03:02.000Z

czv4ra

ptsd

Medicine for ptsd?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/czv4ra/medicine_for_ptsd/