character_a
stringlengths
1
23
line_a
stringlengths
1
535
character_b
stringlengths
1
23
line_b
stringlengths
1
535
Smitty
We'll be there in five minutes.
Bender
We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays!
Bender
We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays!
Nimoy
Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy.
Nimoy
Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy.
Fry
Spock? Hey! Hey... Do the thing!
Fry
Spock? Hey! Hey... Do the thing!
Nimoy
I don't do that anymore.
Nimoy
I don't do that anymore.
Fry
This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?
Fry
This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?
Nimoy
We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity.
Nimoy
We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity.
Woman
Feeding time!
Woman
Feeding time!
Leela
I'm sorry, Fry, but I have to install your career chip.
Leela
I'm sorry, Fry, but I have to install your career chip.
Fry
Yeah, well, if you're sorry why are you doing it?
Fry
Yeah, well, if you're sorry why are you doing it?
Leela
Watch it!
Leela
Watch it!
Nixon
That's it! You just made my list!
Nixon
That's it! You just made my list!
Fry
Ow! Stop it! Down, boy! Bad president!
Fry
Ow! Stop it! Down, boy! Bad president!
Smitty
Alright, buddy, step away from the head!
Smitty
Alright, buddy, step away from the head!
URL
on his ass!
URL
on his ass!
Leela
Please, officers, there's no need to use force.
Leela
Please, officers, there's no need to use force.
URL
Let us handle this, weird-y.
URL
Let us handle this, weird-y.
Leela
Oh, come on, he's just a poor kid from the Stupid Ages.
Leela
Oh, come on, he's just a poor kid from the Stupid Ages.
Leela
No-one makes fun of my nose.
Leela
No-one makes fun of my nose.
URL
Damn!
URL
Damn!
Leela
You guys were totally out of control.
Leela
You guys were totally out of control.
Smitty
It's our job. We're peace officers.
Smitty
It's our job. We're peace officers.
URL
Yeah, you know the law: You gotta do what you gotta do.
URL
Yeah, you know the law: You gotta do what you gotta do.
Bender
Oh, we're trapped!
Bender
Oh, we're trapped!
Fry
Wait a second. You're a bender, right? We can get out of here if you just bend the bars.
Fry
Wait a second. You're a bender, right? We can get out of here if you just bend the bars.
Bender
Dream on, skin tube. I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a de-bender?
Bender
Dream on, skin tube. I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a de-bender?
Fry
Who cares what you're programmed for. If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
Fry
Who cares what you're programmed for. If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
Bender
I'll have to check my program ... yep.
Bender
I'll have to check my program ... yep.
Leela
Open up!
Leela
Open up!
Fry
C'mon, Bender! It's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals ... and animal robots.
Fry
C'mon, Bender! It's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals ... and animal robots.
Bender
You make a persuasive argument, Fry.
Bender
You make a persuasive argument, Fry.
Fry
Come on, Bender! You can do it.
Fry
Come on, Bender! You can do it.
Bender
Can't ... I ... can't ... do ... it!
Bender
Can't ... I ... can't ... do ... it!
Fry
Yes!
Fry
Yes!
Bender
I want! I'm unstoppable!
Bender
I want! I'm unstoppable!
Fry
I don't know how you did that.
Fry
I don't know how you did that.
Leela
Wait!
Leela
Wait!
Bender
No, thanks.
Bender
No, thanks.
Bender
Looks like one of us will have to bend this grate.
Bender
Looks like one of us will have to bend this grate.
Fry
Good Lord! What is this?
Fry
Good Lord! What is this?
Bender.
Welcome home, pal!
Bender.
Welcome home, pal!
Fry
It's my old neighbourhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories.
Fry
It's my old neighbourhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories.
Bender
Keep 'em to yourself, Pops!
Bender
Keep 'em to yourself, Pops!
Fry
This is where I brought my girlfriend on our very first date.
Fry
This is where I brought my girlfriend on our very first date.
Fry
My God! She's gone. Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone.
Fry
My God! She's gone. Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone.
Bender
Wait! There's someone you know!
Bender
Wait! There's someone you know!
Fry
Oh, can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already.
Fry
Oh, can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already.
Leela
Look, I know it's not much consolation but I understand how you feel.
Leela
Look, I know it's not much consolation but I understand how you feel.
Fry
No, you don't. I've got no home, no family--
Fry
No, you don't. I've got no home, no family--
Bender
No friends.
Bender
No friends.
Fry
My whole world is gone. You can't possibly understand what it feels like to be so alone.
Fry
My whole world is gone. You can't possibly understand what it feels like to be so alone.
Leela
I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone.
Leela
I understand. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet. My parents abandoned me here as a baby and I don't even know what galaxy they were from. I know how it feels to be alone.
Fry
Your chip. What are you doing?
Fry
Your chip. What are you doing?
Leela
Quitting.
Leela
Quitting.
Fry
Why?
Fry
Why?
Leela
Because I've always wanted to. I just never realised it before I met you.
Leela
Because I've always wanted to. I just never realised it before I met you.
Fry
What is the matter with you?
Fry
What is the matter with you?
Bender
I just wanted to be part of the moment.
Bender
I just wanted to be part of the moment.
Leela
Hey! He stole my ring!
Leela
Hey! He stole my ring!
Bender
Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring. This calls for a drink.
Bender
Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring. This calls for a drink.
Leela
I don't wanna spoil the party but we're all job deserters now. We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go.
Leela
I don't wanna spoil the party but we're all job deserters now. We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go.
Fry
Correction: We're unemployed but we have a doddering old relative to mooch off of.
Fry
Correction: We're unemployed but we have a doddering old relative to mooch off of.
Farnsworth
Who are you?
Farnsworth
Who are you?
Fry
I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.
Fry
I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.
Farnsworth
I don't have an Uncle Fry.
Farnsworth
I don't have an Uncle Fry.
Bender
You do now!
Bender
You do now!
Farnsworth
your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!
Farnsworth
your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!
Bender
Can we have some money?
Bender
Can we have some money?
Farnsworth
Oh, my, no.
Farnsworth
Oh, my, no.
Farnsworth
And here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire.
Farnsworth
And here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire.
Fry
Whoa! A real live spaceship!
Fry
Whoa! A real live spaceship!
Farnsworth
I designed it myself. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.
Farnsworth
I designed it myself. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.
Smitty
Attention, job deserters! Come out with your hands up. We have you partially surrounded.
Smitty
Attention, job deserters! Come out with your hands up. We have you partially surrounded.
Fry
No!
Fry
No!
Nixon
Get those bums!
Nixon
Get those bums!
Leela
Can't we get away in the ship?
Leela
Can't we get away in the ship?
Fry
I'll get us out of here.
Fry
I'll get us out of here.
Farnsworth
Can anyone drive stick?
Farnsworth
Can anyone drive stick?
Leela
I can. As long as I don't have to parallel park.
Leela
I can. As long as I don't have to parallel park.
URL
If they try to take off, give 'em an ass-ful of laser.
URL
If they try to take off, give 'em an ass-ful of laser.
Leela
Prepare for lift-off. Ten.
Leela
Prepare for lift-off. Ten.
Crowd
Nine!
Crowd
Nine!
Crowd
Amania!
Crowd
Amania!
Crowd
Seven!
Crowd
Seven!
Aliens
Six.
Aliens
Six.
Terry
Five!
Terry
Five!
Nimoy
Four.
Nimoy
Four.
Farnsworth
Three.
Farnsworth
Three.
Bender
Two.
Bender
Two.
Leela
One!
Leela
One!
Fry
Blast-off!
Fry
Blast-off!
Smitty
I can't see nothing. Pretty though!
Smitty
I can't see nothing. Pretty though!
Fry
So, I guess, without jobs, we'll be fugitives forever.
Fry
So, I guess, without jobs, we'll be fugitives forever.
Farnsworth
Not necessarily. Are you three, by any chance, interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?
Farnsworth
Not necessarily. Are you three, by any chance, interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?
Bender
New crew? W-What happened to the old crew?
Bender
New crew? W-What happened to the old crew?
Farnsworth
Of those poor sons of-- But that's not important. The important thing is I need a new crew. Anyone interested?
Farnsworth
Of those poor sons of-- But that's not important. The important thing is I need a new crew. Anyone interested?
Fry!
That's exactly the job I've always wanted!
Fry!
That's exactly the job I've always wanted!
Leela
Thanks for the offer, Professor, but we don't have the proper career chips.
Leela
Thanks for the offer, Professor, but we don't have the proper career chips.
Farnsworth
Oh, that won't be a problem. As luck would have it, I saved the chips from my previous crew.
Farnsworth
Oh, that won't be a problem. As luck would have it, I saved the chips from my previous crew.
Farnsworth
If by that you mean transporting cargo then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.
Farnsworth
If by that you mean transporting cargo then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.
Fry
Cool! What's my job gonna be?