Datasets:

quocanh34

/

mental_health_dataset_1

like 5

ilostmylenscap

I just started a new relationship, the first since my assault. I really like the guy, but I’m constantly anxious now. We went to a party last night, and before the party I was throwing up, extremely anxious, I couldn’t eat, and I kept dissociating in small increments. I’ve slept with other people and it’s been fine, no flashbacks, no anxiety. But now that I’m with this person, I keep having flashbacks and anxiety. Every time he touches me I feel like it’s my assaulter touching me. It’s not only the flashbacks that suck, but I’m really nervous around him. So nervous that I don’t want to look at him, or talk to him. Is this normal relationship jitters? Why do I feel so anxious around him but not with randoms that I hook up with? I feel a compulsive need to push him away, and to distance myself from him. He really likes me, and I really like him. I could easily see this being a long term and lasting relationship, but I’m so scared, and I don’t know why. Should I take things slow? I just need some advice because this is the first new relationship I’ve had in four years,

2019-10-13T18:48:04.000Z

dheo39

ptsd

New relationship, anxious and scared, any advice? (TW: Assault)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dheo39/new_relationship_anxious_and_scared_any_advice_tw/

p-onyo

I started a strand of trauma therapy called reliving and rescripting, where you relive the event/s as though its on a theatre stage, and listen ti the recording over and over, then change something in the memory so that it doesnt happen and listen to that tape over and over. I started the first part on tuesday, and i’m too scared to listen to the tape. i know its for my own good and it’s going to help me loads etc, but i cant bring myself to do it. since that therapy session, the days this week have been awful. i wake up crying hysterically, i get angry over the smallest of things, i find socialising an incredibly difficult chore, and im constantly on the verge of tears (spending the whole of today just crying over nothing). Im sure this is totally normal, but it’s all getting in the way, and i cant exactly tell everyone in my life why im behaving/feeling this way. If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice or anything i would greatly appreciate it, i feel so isolated and alone (and need to listen to the f****** tape but cant).

2019-10-13T18:09:31.000Z

dhe4hw

ptsd

I started trauma therapy and this week has been awful

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhe4hw/i_started_trauma_therapy_and_this_week_has_been/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-13T17:51:19.000Z

dhdvgc

ptsd

I had a strange memory

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhdvgc/i_had_a_strange_memory/

agirlhasnoname17

So I’m severely disabled and my diagnoses include PTSD and acute anxiety disorder. I got married earlier this year, but the problem is, when he does something that rubs me the wrong way, I spiral down into abandonment and emotional distance. I do understand that it’s not his fault, I know he loves me, but this keeps happening. I feel loved and then I slip into abandonment. I start feeling like a burden and all. My psychiatrist doesn’t really know why this is happening. I did talk to him about it, but I don’t think he truly sees the extent of this emotional seesaw. Any thoughts?

2019-10-13T17:38:28.000Z

dhdpbo

ptsd

Advice?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhdpbo/advice/

qiankgs

Well, ex best friend now. I’ve [posted about the incident before ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbuseInterrupted/comments/clhqf8/trying_to_talk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) and shared what happened with this particular friend before they started dating. I remained tentative “friends” with my molester because I was afraid of retribution if I cut her off. I told this friend about everything that happened, and she listened and at the time looked horrified. Fast forward a few months and I am no longer friends with my molester due to a different falling out. My best friend begins dating her and I think nothing of it. It’s just now hitting me though, all the feelings of hurt and betrayal. I feel like another person in my life just cast me aside. I thought that was over but I guess I was wrong. I can’t sleep. I’ve been painting my walls and carving wood because I’m terrified of waking up. I’m terrified of facing another day and facing my own mind. Just maybe if I stay awake alone through the night things will be okay. I can’t move from my bed without panicking. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m going crazy. I know it’s just the PTSD talking but I can’t stop.

2019-10-13T11:31:07.000Z

dh9f4l

ptsd

My best friend is dating my molester

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh9f4l/my_best_friend_is_dating_my_molester/

anonymousnutcase

I've written another longer post in an autism sub(as I suspected this might be part of it, though i have no idea at this point) if anyone wants to look at my last post and get more details, but I'll try to keep this one shorter as I'm just out of energy dealing with this, but I'm desperate for some advice. Here's the post. If you're going to comment relating to that, please read everything in that thread before jumping in with judgement. https://www.reddit.com/r/AutisticAdults/comments/dgww58/ive_suspected_mild_autism_in_a_close_friend_for_a/ I have a longtime friend who has recently moved in with me temporarily because of some bad situations she was in. It's a complex relationship. We were engaged years ago, I've helped raise her kids, we've been through a lot of hard stuff, and before she moved in we weren't in a great place to begin with. She's difficult and stubborn and can definitely be manipulative and immature in ways that I wholly believe are just her being difficult and not all of them are things she can use illness as an excuse for. We've reached a point where a number of practical things badly need to be dealt with, and I need more help from her, more participation/cooperation, to help her or to just continue living with her yet we've got ourselves back in a situation that I never wanted to be in again where I'm doing almost every little thing for her because she is just shut down and refuses to even try to deal with anything. I've gotten angry with her, she's angry with me, and she finds some way to avoid being willing to do anything about any of it no matter how I approach it, and we're in this stalemate now where nothing gets dealt with at all. I can't live like this anymore, but she has noone else. At all. Yet I can't keep going like this, and now I'm stuck with the choice of kicking her out and basically "throwing her to the wolves" because she won't deal with anything and I'm done cleaning up disasters that end up on me and could easily be avoided, and I'm done feeling used and taken advantage of and taking care of her when my own health problems make it hard for me to even take care of myself. Any advice here?

2019-10-13T10:35:31.000Z

dh8xoj

ptsd

Some advice dealing with a friend with PTSD(maybe CPTSD?) while having my own trauma and other issues and being forced to live together.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh8xoj/some_advice_dealing_with_a_friend_with_ptsdmaybe/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-13T09:11:43.000Z

dh899c

ptsd

Neglect is passive abuse

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh899c/neglect_is_passive_abuse/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-13T09:07:54.000Z

dh881u

ptsd

(TW) i had my worse night terror recall ever.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh881u/tw_i_had_my_worse_night_terror_recall_ever/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-13T08:49:14.000Z

dh82fm

ptsd

Feelings of contamination

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh82fm/feelings_of_contamination/

standsure

We can and do offer support for folks impacted by PTSD, no matter the origin.

2019-10-13T06:47:05.000Z

dh74uc

ptsd

PSA reminder - we don't offer or confirm PTSD diagnosis.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh74uc/psa_reminder_we_dont_offer_or_confirm_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-13T04:29:10.000Z

dh5y7p

ptsd

I keep seeing the bad things (TW: suicide, gore-ish)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh5y7p/i_keep_seeing_the_bad_things_tw_suicide_goreish/

thr0waway3745774

[removed]

2019-10-13T03:07:22.000Z

dh54ad

ptsd

is this unreasonable?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh54ad/is_this_unreasonable/

[deleted]

What is sensory overload like for you? And did it go away after treatment

2019-10-12T23:56:26.000Z

dh30j0

ptsd

Sensory overload

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh30j0/sensory_overload/

mrpderp

At age ten I was pushed in front of a Mack truck going 30. Knocked me out of my shoes and britches. I was hospitalized for five days. I was out of school for two weeks. I went back and everyone was so happy to see me. But, it didn't last long. Slowly felt more alienated everyday. The person who pushed me told the officers that I ran into the road and turned around to taunt them. We all believed it. Much easier to believe that than your best friend inadvertantly trying to kill you. No follow up with doctors. No counseling. No rehabilitation. Just back to school. Get to work. No understanding. For ten years I'm convinced I hate myself. At age twenty, a mutual friend told me Rodrigo pushed me that day. I couldn't believe it. I did all the things a normal teen would do. Twenty one years later to the day I'm posting about it here. Amidst the emotional traumas from watching my parents violently argue to losing love lives to suicide this layer of trauma has got me uptight, hyper vigilant, excessively stressed, depressed and always feeling misunderstood and out of my mind. I just want a healthy relationship with myself

2019-10-12T20:17:46.000Z

dh0avp

ptsd

Twenty plus years

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dh0avp/twenty_plus_years/

[deleted]

[removed]

2019-10-12T19:42:08.000Z

dgzunu

ptsd

Is this possibly PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgzunu/is_this_possibly_ptsd/

remineur

In the days following my EMDR session, I felt that new connections were made in my brain, positive connections that brought me back before the trauma. But since everything is never easy, it has awakened painful connections. I have never really had a flashback but rather intrusive memories that make me see the face or name of the attacker again with emotions that inevitably overwhelm me. The therapist told me that it was possible to completely extinguish the emotional load when I had thoughts of this trauma. He told me that it would be impossible to remove the memory of the event but one thing I wonder, if it is really possible to reduce the emotions of this trauma, it should come less to mind ? Because it is rare that I live 5 minutes without it coming back. Also am i the only one that feel that the hardest thing in PTSD is that you need to accept that you'll never be the person you've been before the trauma ?

2019-10-12T18:48:31.000Z

dgz6bx

ptsd

EMDR can shutdown emotions of the trauma ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgz6bx/emdr_can_shutdown_emotions_of_the_trauma/

emobirtch

[removed]

2019-10-12T17:58:37.000Z

dgyizz

ptsd

do i have ptsd?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgyizz/do_i_have_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-12T16:21:24.000Z

dgx9og

ptsd

I’m not trying to upset anyone...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgx9og/im_not_trying_to_upset_anyone/

[deleted]

I didn’t have anyone else to tell, so I came on here. Last night, I did something that I never have before and I never thought would be this hard. However. I’ve been suffering for years and it is what it is. I clicked “yes” when a job application asked if I had a disability. The background is that my PTSD started due to a job that I finally left last month because I just couldn’t do it anymore for my own health. This is my first time looking for a new job in 8 years. I literally cried when the disabilities survey came up in the application. I feel better now that I did, but I guess this is just something else that I’ll have to learn to live with..

2019-10-12T13:13:17.000Z

dguzsl

ptsd

Swallowed my pride..

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dguzsl/swallowed_my_pride/

[deleted]

This is mostly a vent and sorry for that. It is not that hard not to yell at me. Yelling at me will not solve anything and it will trigger me PTSD. I live with roommates because I am poor and one admits that she lacks self control (but god help her if she got therapy for that). She "emotionally responds before thinking" (which is either immaturity or you need therapy at 38). And apparently that includes yelling at me when it's "just an emotional response." I can't deal with it. I am honestly thinking about breaking the lease, sucking up the cost, and just getting a studio in a shitty neighborhood. I can't deal with being yelled at.

2019-10-12T12:26:05.000Z

dguhlf

ptsd

Don't yell at me

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dguhlf/dont_yell_at_me/

Woolfpack97

For the past three months I've been almost paralyzed by my fear of dreaming, I used to be really well adjusted to my night terrors and nightmares (well as adjusted as one can be) they were disruptive but not to the point of not sleeping for several days on end. I've been in this sleepless rut and I just can't shake the fear. I guess I don't know exactly why I came here to post this, but if any of y'all has any tips or tricks for beating the dream fear I would greatly appreciate it.

2019-10-12T12:03:21.000Z

dgu9ie

ptsd

Not sleeping to avoid night terrors

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgu9ie/not_sleeping_to_avoid_night_terrors/

Illicit_action

Hey everyone. Where do I begin? I've been dealing with PTSD for over ten years now. I've gone through so much, too much it seems like. I'll itemize so y'all can get the whole picture. -Cancer twice, my wife left me for another man while I was recovering. -My dad had Leukemia and Colon Cancer. - I was injured severely (Gunshot Wound) which has left me with lingering flashbacks. -The deaths of several close friends and family members. All of that ☝️ was within 10-14 months. There's more, but I don't want to get too wordy. I can feel myswlf shutting down, I'm incredibly lonely because I feel so isolated. How can I relate to people who've never experienced what I've experienced? When they're more concerned with the normal problems that come with being alive, While I have all of this trauma and fear swirling around inside me? If anyone has any advice, it'd mean the world to me. Thanks.

2019-10-12T09:02:41.000Z

dgsoc3

ptsd

First time poster here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgsoc3/first_time_poster_here/

EllenDegenerate03

I may be one of the youngest, people on here. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2016, following my dad death in 2015. Luckily, what I deal with is pretty mild (considering the other posts in Here, and the fact that I’m heavily intoxicated) I feel horrible because, for me, I can’t handle a person person in pain or hurting, especially in a physical way,. For instance, if a person screams I pain, there’s a very speechify sound in their voice that I just can’t handle and I feel horrible for. My friend recently fell down a fell down a few stairs and broke her ankle, and I couldn’t keep it together, and I knew the sound of my screaming and crying (even if I couldn’t hear it) made it worse for her.......idk. I just feel like a horrible friend because I should have held her and told her it was okay, but I was trying to hard to suppress screaming and frighting her that’s once the doctor woman (I can’t remember the English words I’m so sorry) ) but she took over, and I had to hide I rhe bzthroom for like 40 minute because I couldn’t handle myself. Probably no one will comment, but I feel bad because I should have done more. I should’ve asked if she hit her head, but instead all I could do sass die and watch her scream and hold her head as we both cried I don’t want to tell her because it’s not her fault, not even close, but at the same time I want her to know that I wasn’t crying on her face looking for sympathy, that I wish I could have done something more, that it was something I could have controlé, st lest in my mind. The way that my my mind works that wishes that I could have done something more for her at the same time realises that I did everything I could for her and I wish is that the best comes to her but I can give it a crack in the pipe from speaking right now I can’t get across the fact they wish okay does that mean my stupid mental disability help me back for me it was new and more of it I’m so sorry I collet apologise even though she doesn’t know she doesn’t know that there is a help me back asleep help me to help her know what had another glass that is that I do tend to be more like

2019-10-12T06:39:19.000Z

dgrjld

ptsd

Please just read

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgrjld/please_just_read/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-12T06:26:10.000Z

dgrfqp

ptsd

How do I stop being afraid of wanting help and wanting to get better?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgrfqp/how_do_i_stop_being_afraid_of_wanting_help_and/

phillydave75

Full disclosure: I’m going to come off as a dick here. I’m not sorry. The title says it all. I believe we need to separate the post traumatic stress that happens to a veteran from the grouping that is a PTSD diagnosis. Why? Well... Training to accept excessive risk. Veterans are trained to accept risk. Whether it is flying in a combat zone or patrolling a city where known hostiles are entrenched, we have a conditioned response to danger. Read it again; conditioned response. This response can be so effective that the stress of the event can be taken as “just part of the job”. The post traumatic stress happens much later for some. It can start after you get home or maybe not until after you leave the military. This is not to debase or devalue a person who has had sexual trauma, a car accident, or a death in the family. These events are traumatic and the therapy and study should be dedicated solely to those scenarios. However the risks we have accepted are so different than what a civilian who has had an accident that I can not see how the same moniker can be used. I accepted great levels of risk in my career. As an aviator every time you get into the airplane is inherently dangerous. Yet we are asked to accept these dangers as a matter of course; thereby normalizing them. Cool. So when you are on approach into an airfield you are not just thinking about everything going wrong; you are planning for it. Nose gear collapse, doing this. Landing short into lake, doing this. The first and last two minutes of a flight I hammered my students with scenarios that would end in their untimely death. Death was just something to plan for and adjust the risks to hopefully make it less likely. I planned to die in a ball of flames and if I was armed I planned to kill. I had to, otherwise how would I know if I had the stomach to do it. Conditioned response. Could you imagine getting into your car everyday and planning out the accident that might kill you? I can and I do. Almost every time. So my demons are not everyone’s demons and that is fair. However, the wording of a diagnosis has been proven to effect the patient. Even as I read through this thread I have to resist sounding like a complete jerk when someone says “they know what you’re going through”. How, exactly? Were you on the plane? Were you in the platoon? Are you in my head right now? No. No you are not. Empathy is a poor strategy to helping. A civilian therapist can easily damage an already shattered psyche by comparing their post traumatic stress to my experiences. It did to me. Some asshat compared his stress during grad school to a scenario I talked about with him. I was trying to get a perspective but what the therapist did was minimize my experience and in turn made me very angry. I don’t see him anymore. Veterans: choose your therapist very carefully. With PTSD diagnosis’s being bandied about like Snicker’s Bars on Halloween it is important that you are talking to someone who knows the difference between a vets and a civilians PTSD. While we vets are trying to seek help and are getting frustrated we could do everyone a favor and have a post traumatic military event (or something like that), that we can at least hope understands. DM

2019-10-12T04:03:25.000Z

dgq55c

ptsd

It’s time to go back to shell shocked...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgq55c/its_time_to_go_back_to_shell_shocked/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-12T00:32:02.000Z

dgntzu

ptsd

Advice for Anniversary Response (TW- sexual assault)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgntzu/advice_for_anniversary_response_tw_sexual_assault/

throwawayc0nf3ssion

I’ve always been kind of a sleepwalker. As a kid/young teen, i would sleepwalk around 2-3 times a month, but I’ve mostly grown out of that. Until I experienced my trauma a few months ago. Since then I’ve woken up multiple times every night. The only times I sleep through the night without waking up once are if I’m drugged out on sleep medication. It’s on a schedule now, about 30-40 minutes after falling asleep I wake up shaking with my heart pounding, seeing things I wish I could forget. Sometimes I’m in bed when i “come back to earth”, sometimes I’m standing in the middle of my bedroom, sometimes I’m in my living room or kitchen. If I’m having a good day then I’ll only wake up that first time. If I’m under a lot of stress, whether relating to trauma or just something unrelated like school, I’ll wake up experiencing the same problem anywhere from every 30 minutes to 2 hours. My trauma happened at night, so maybe I’m afraid of sleeping an unbroken stretch of time then because I need to be alert and vigilant. If I’m asleep then I can’t respond to it if it were to happen again... so I don’t want to sleep, even when I’m exhausted. The first few days I thought it would be temporary and go away eventually. Now, I realize it’s just part of my everyday bedtime routine just like showering or brushing my teeth. I’m going to my doctor on Monday but I’m afraid to talk about it. I’m worried he’ll just try to downplay it and be like “well what do you expect me to do about it?” because I’ve always been a sleepwalker

2019-10-11T23:44:28.000Z

dgna70

ptsd

Sleep paralysis/Sleepwalking vent

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgna70/sleep_paralysissleepwalking_vent/

Cantstoptoodangerous

Does anyone have suggestions for how to deal with fleet week? The fighter jets (or whatever they are called) fly over my apartment all the time and get me super jumpy/worried/panicked. Thank you!

2019-10-11T22:49:14.000Z

dgmlnn

ptsd

Fleet week

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgmlnn/fleet_week/

breadandbunny

I'm asking because I remember talking to someone about the characteristics of PTSD and they mentioned that sometimes people who suffer from this unfortunately can convince themselves of something that isn't true. Growing up with my mom (who was in a fire when she was a child and other traumatic events), I noticed that she would sometimes convince herself that certain things happened or were true that never were. As far as I know, she has never had a formal diagnosis of PTSD, but an anxiety disorder that was contributed to due to a parathyroid issue.

2019-10-11T19:51:58.000Z

dgkbad

ptsd

Do you ever have illusions?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgkbad/do_you_ever_have_illusions/

KLWK

I get poo-poohed in real life if I mention this because "no one gets PTSD from childbirth".

2019-10-11T19:39:17.000Z

dgk574

ptsd

Does anyone else here have PTSD from childbirth?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgk574/does_anyone_else_here_have_ptsd_from_childbirth/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-11T19:19:01.000Z

dgjvdb

ptsd

I was doing so good for 3 months but this week I had 2 attacks.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgjvdb/i_was_doing_so_good_for_3_months_but_this_week_i/

DNAMellieCase

I had one of the worst nightmares I've ever had in a while. I can't go into it, but I woke up nauseous and in horrible pain. My heart was racing and I felt absolute dread. I couldn't get the strength to go to lab because I have such bad performance anxiety but also felt so damn sick. I was honest with my professor about what has been going on and I'm waiting for an email back. I'm going to see if my case manager could help me get accommodations to take more days out of class just for this lab. I would probably only need them for my first year. I just feel like a lazy piece of trash. I love university, but my PTSD and nightmare make it so difficult to enjoy anything. I put assignments last minute because I'm often exhausted or dissociated... I don't understand.

2019-10-11T16:32:15.000Z

dghn2d

ptsd

Can't Function Today

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dghn2d/cant_function_today/

SymbolicDysfunction

Previous Post [https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg58af/manager\_told\_me\_off\_for\_panicking/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg58af/manager_told_me_off_for_panicking/) ​ So I went back to work today, with a bit more of an understanding of my managers' points of view, but it was hard. Managers A and B met me outside reception and brought me to a meeting room where they told me off for what I had said yesterday. I was like "wtf did I say?" and I knew I snapped saying that they couldn't send me home I wanted to keep working so I thought okay fair that was out of line... no apparently I said I hated manager B. I. NEVER. FUCKING. SAID. THAT. I said "I feel like you hate me". In many different ways, but that's what I said. I know I didn't say that I hated my manager because that's not like me to say - it's so far out of character of me to do that I couldn't believe I was being accused of that. I apologised for it, because they didn't believe me when I refuted that allegation, and boy oh fucking boy did the conversation get worse:"Symbolic why don't you call your family" they ask. "No" I say. "Why?" And they kept putting pressure on me to. I was shaking like a leaf, burst out that they were bad (it's true, but I really did not want to have to tell them that because it's complicated and they're fine-ish now) I said I got overwhelmed yesterday - so they thought I hated the job, which no, I don't I replied - I actually love the job. "That's contradictory" they'd say. I told them it was stress management for me, and it isn't the job, I'm doing better than I was before. They didn't believe me; they didn't outright call me a liar, but they very heavily implied it. I felt like they were being stern, to which they said they weren't and that they care, but they were so exasperated with me, even though I was telling them what we can do to improve this situation! They just didn't seem to want to let me decide what to do with **my healthcare!** I said I wasn't seeing any hope anymore, to which they took as suicidal intent from me. (I have been pretty damn bad these past few months, but that's from a lack of stress management, rather than that, I can gather). They didn't want to leave me alone. ​ I **finally** managed to leave (after 2 hours...) after I said I'd go straight to my doctor, to which I did... I LOVE my doctors, they have been FANTASTIC with me. So when I went in and explained everything, she was doing her best to not burst out into laughter because of how wrong my managers are. My doctor even said when I asked if I were a danger to myself "no, and even if you were, you were more so these past few months than you would be now!" My doctor even wanted to send me back to work because it has done wonders for me. My doctor told me to tell my managers to butt out of it, try to keep my PTSD as hidden as possible from work so they don't mess up my care like this (she is definitely not telling me to bottle up!) and that I'm doing fine, I just got to keep trucking on as I will settle in - it's just teething problems. ​ So, that conversation felt like they were gaslighting me throughout it - even though that clearly wasn't their intention, they just managed to say **everything** wrong. Still, at least I can go back on Monday, so that's a positive? Plan: get someone to be with me and speak from my side in those meetings. Question: How? (UK) ​ EDIT: I forgot to say, thank you to everyone who commented on my last post, I really appreciated it, and that is why I decided to update today :)

2019-10-11T16:13:27.000Z

dghe81

ptsd

UPDATE - Manager Told me off for Panicking (it got worse?!) TW - suicidal feelings

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dghe81/update_manager_told_me_off_for_panicking_it_got/

blackalma

Not sure this is the right place to talk about this, I've never really used reddit before. Hopefully someone can help or at least understand what I'm struggling with. I've been through major trauma 8 years ago, as I was walking home from school a man attacked me. He had a gun, started taking my clothes off and raped me. I just couldn't move, it's like I was not even there in control of my body. I just kept thinking he would kill me after he finished what he wanted. He eventually let me go and I called the police as soon as I ran out of sight. They arrested him. What followed was a series of exams, questions by the police, having to identify him, working with a lawyer, going to court and many things that make me understand why so many victims don't even report their abuse to the police. To be fair, they were extremely professional and did their best to not make things worse. I've had to take a lot of medication to prevent STDs, which made me throw up twice a day for 6 months. At one point I'd feel sick just by looking at the pills. My family and I have been through so much because of that, it was also right after my grandfather committed suicide (he was schizophrenic). I couldn't stay home anymore, we had to move to my grandpa's apartment for a few months so I could breathe. But to my dad that meant to live in the place his father killed himself. I felt super guilty for it and told him we could move back to our house after a year. I was still not ready for that, but I also didn't want to hurt my family even more. I kept going to school and trying my best to not let that control my life, and I think on the outside it looked like I was ok, but I just felt like a ghost. I couldn't hold memories for a while and if you ask me about my last year in high school it's pretty confusing, I just remember parts and not in order. Depression, anxiety, fear or strangers, panic attacks and dissociation would come and go. Sometimes I'd just not feel anything, and sometimes I'd be angry at people for not understanding me. I started doing therapy and slowly healing but still found it hard to deal with my emotions. Eventually, I went to this Buddhist temple and started meditating, which really helped me and brought me back to reality. I stopped having panick attacks and was able to not think about it so much. Going to college also helped, cause it felt like a new stage of life and I quit therapy because I felt no need to keep going. I spent a year abroad and felt more safe, so the fear started fading away too. Now, I've been doing pretty well in my life and most of the time don't even think about what happened. But the other day I read on the news about a 3 year old who was sexually abused, she was found with her diaper full of blood. Just typing this makes my eyes well up. I can't stop thinking about that, about how fucked up the world is, and keep having flashbacks of what happened to me. It's making me depressed, affecting my relationships, my sex life and daily life. I'm living far from my family, and I don't wanna tell them what's going on because they will just feel upset and powerless. I try to forgive myself for not doing anything like running or kicking him, or just paying more attention because I didn't even see him approach me.. I guess now I'm just having a mix of emotions, I don't wanna live in the past but I'm not feeling connected to the present no matter how hard I try. I feel very lonely because the people who love me can't really understand my feelings and I know they hurt too, but in a different way. I feel helpless. I'm not even sure this is just PTSD or something else, if there is anything I can or should do... Thank you for reading. Any advice, comfort words or even just a "I understand" is welcome.

2019-10-11T16:00:23.000Z

dgh7nu

ptsd

Got triggered by the news and can't stop being depressed since (sexual assault)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgh7nu/got_triggered_by_the_news_and_cant_stop_being/

Infernodred

Since 3 years ago, I have always been thinking and relieving my own tramautic experience over and over again, till the point that I think it is becoming a part of me and that it is normal to think and feel this way. Edit: I honestly have no idea if this is going to make it worse.

2019-10-11T15:31:44.000Z

dggtke

ptsd

It feels normal to me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dggtke/it_feels_normal_to_me/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-11T13:12:54.000Z

dgezet

ptsd

Purposefully Triggering PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgezet/purposefully_triggering_ptsd/

journey1992

I was the scapegoat of my family for my whole life before going no contact with my family this year. I was chosen to be the scapegoat especially because my mom hated that my dad gave me attention and she punished me for his sexual abuse. I also think I was chosen because I was the strongest, least able to be manipulated, had integrity, honesty, assertiveness, justice seeking, and empathic. They thought I could take the abuse because I was so strong and resilient and would fight back for what I believed in. Having that role for so long has definitely helped me become more authentic, compassionate, sensitive, self less and justice seeking. I question authority and status quo and instead do what I think is right /aligned with my values. I stand up for what I believe even if I am the only one doing it and it will make me unpopular. I am honest, genuine, and was courageous enough to go no contact with my family and never go back. How about you all? Who else was the scapegoat of their family? What strengths did you develop because of your role? Why do you think you were chosen for that role?

2019-10-11T11:13:49.000Z

dgdndd

ptsd

Who else was the scapegoat of their family? What strengths did you develop because of your role?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgdndd/who_else_was_the_scapegoat_of_their_family_what/

some-velvet-morning

I don’t consider myself awkward really at all. But other people often think I am, and I really don’t know what they think is so weird about me. I’m not self-conscious or insecure at all in social situations until somebody says something along the lines of “you’re awkward, but that’s okay!” it just kind of knocks all the wind out of me. Like, wait, what? And it happens all the time. I tend to be pretty quiet and I have an offbeat sense of humor, and I kinda struggle with eye contact (due to my PTSD), but that doesn’t automatically mean I’m socially inept like these people seem to think. I have had friends send me articles with titles like “help for people with social anxiety”, I don’t even bloody have social anxiety! I’m not a social fucking butterfly, but I smile at people, I greet people, I know how to keep a conversation going, I know when to end a conversation, I know when the person I’m talking to is getting bored, I know the time and place for small talk, I’m comfortable with silence, I know how to both listen and contribute, I never ask invasive questions, I’m very polite and considerate, I’m confident, I’m empathetic, I know at least a conversational level about a wide variety of subjects, and I actually have diffused plenty of genuinely awkward situations by being graceful. I seriously don’t understand what people mean. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but SO MANY people’s characterization of me focuses around me being “awkward”. When I ask people to clarify they give me a non-answer like “It’s not a bad thing, don’t be offended!” ...seems like they’re the socially awkward ones, not me. The only other thing I can think of is that maybe my physical appearance doesn’t match the way I communicate? I’m 21, and kind of a small, baby-faced lady with big blue eyes but I’m also very direct and a lot more blunt than many women are, and I don’t speak with the “uptalk” or the typical feminine tones that a lot of women do. So maybe that catches people off guard? I’m not sure why I don’t speak in the expected way, but I just never have. But if that’s not it, well, sure beats the hell out of me!

2019-10-11T10:43:22.000Z

dgdccu

ptsd

people think i’m awkward

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgdccu/people_think_im_awkward/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-11T08:38:35.000Z

dgc7y5

ptsd

How do I tell my parents what I'm going through without saying why?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgc7y5/how_do_i_tell_my_parents_what_im_going_through/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-11T05:46:53.000Z

dgapbm

ptsd

PTSD from a lost loved one...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgapbm/ptsd_from_a_lost_loved_one/

shyghst

So I’ve always had an issue where I will wake straight up from a dead sleep if I hear any noise or if someone enters my room. It’s been going on for years now. I will also have full conversations while I slowly wake up, thats hard to explain but its kinda like my body is talking and giving my brain time to wake up and be alert without anyone knowing I was asleep. On top of that, even though I sleep it isn’t restful. I haven’t had nightmares (or really any dreams) in years now, so thats not the issue. I don’t know any way to deal with this. I am so exhausted throughout the day but I get a full nights sleep every night. Sleeping meds knock me out through the next day so I cant take them. Anyone have a similar issue or have any advice? Sorry if this isnt coherent I’m very tired gjfhdbdb

2019-10-11T05:36:58.000Z

dgam0z

ptsd

How to deal with Hyper vigilance while sleeping?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgam0z/how_to_deal_with_hyper_vigilance_while_sleeping/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-11T05:15:35.000Z

dgaetw

ptsd

Fear of sleeping or general inability to sleep at night specifically?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dgaetw/fear_of_sleeping_or_general_inability_to_sleep_at/

[deleted]

I have never posted on reddit before, but I wanted to reach out because some of your posts really have helped me feel (not better or worse, just feel) today. I'm not certain if I should trigger warn so I'm adding NSFW in case. In February 2019 my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD due to a sexually abusive, manipulative, compulsive liar relationship I was in in 2010. It was short, but very intense and I did not go to therapy properly for it til this past November. (2018) 2018 I was in a serious relationship for the first time since that abusive relationship and so some of the things that trigger me would not have come up until then because they are related to being in an intimate relationship. This relationship was so good and I was so excited because I felt like I learned that I could love and trust. Then for some reason, it started to become rocky and this is when my episodes really ramped up. I did not truly understand that I was having flashbacks until after it was all over but essentially this SO told me that "whatever I was doing" to address my PTSD wasn't working and that I had "lost the ability" to control my emotions and I was not as resilient as I used to be. I would get so mad and upset and irrational and he would too. After my worst flashback he did not speak to me for 2 weeks - because he needed space. (I don't blame him, but it was excruciating and I felt so much shame because I was reeling from the trigger) After the 2 weeks he broke up with me. This all cut me to my core. Now, 7 months later, I'm finally coming out of the haze of sadness from that relationship ending. I'm in grad school for Social Work, I have my own apartment, I have two jobs and an internship. I'm doing what I wanted to do!! But I still am feeling so dejected and also really struggling to make friends because I'm nearly 30 and it's hard to make new friends but also I'm realizing, because I'm afraid to get close to people in case I have a trigger moment and they can't take it. I don't know if anyone has any thoughts but I just feel really small and alone and I have appreciated reading your posts so I thought I would reach out. Peace and comfort to you. <3

2019-10-11T00:13:20.000Z

dg6zx9

ptsd

Feeling Alone

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg6zx9/feeling_alone/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-11T00:05:24.000Z

dg6w7g

ptsd

Holidays are coming and it's always the hardest part of the year for me

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg6w7g/holidays_are_coming_and_its_always_the_hardest/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T23:19:41.000Z

dg6bmv

ptsd

Please PLEASE HELP all I do is cause problems for people and :(

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg6bmv/please_please_help_all_i_do_is_cause_problems_for/

SymbolicDysfunction

Hi everyone, So I managed to get a job in a fairly supportive environment - yay! I have two managers, one who gets my mental health problems - A... The other who tries - B. A - "I'm going to HR to find out how best to help you and not say anything wrong, but you should be really proud, because just getting out of bed is a massive achievement when you're struggling with mental health problems" B - "Make today the day when the trauma doesn't control your life!" So I... Yeah, these past few weeks have been trying. I like my new colleagues but manager B has inadvertently been making me worse. Today, I was working through a panic attack, and I went to one of my colleagues to chat just as manager B had gone off to the loo, started crying and B comes back and sees me. I go out of the office to cry with B and she gets very stern with me. Tough love I think. Now tough love to me when panicking and feeling vulnerable, paranoid, and that everyone hates me and I'm about to be attacked... Yeah that was fantastic. She sent me home because I couldn't stop crying. Shockingly. She text me later to see how I was doing, but now I'm utterly terrified to go back to work tomorrow. I feel so embarrassed and useless, I was crying in the first place because I felt useless. I needed love, sympathy, and understanding, not to be told to suck it up. Like, ffs, if I could suck it up lord knows I fucking would. She even told me to stop counting my panics as that's what's probably causing me to panic. I don't really know what to do right now.

2019-10-10T21:56:09.000Z

dg58af

ptsd

Manager Told Me Off For Panicking

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg58af/manager_told_me_off_for_panicking/

lilalita

2019-10-10T19:16:29.000Z

dg2ynm

ptsd

I want you all to know you are worth more than what people can take from you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg2ynm/i_want_you_all_to_know_you_are_worth_more_than/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T16:48:58.000Z

dg0sov

ptsd

Moving forward

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg0sov/moving_forward/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T16:15:32.000Z

dg0bxz

ptsd

Had a Nightmare...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg0bxz/had_a_nightmare/

sandyloam333

i dont feel like im living im alive but not doing anything or feeling stuff the stuff i feel is blunted by dissociation i think about how the people who hurt me seem happy and talk about how good theyre doing like nothing happened my dad even denies he was abusive a lot im tired and want to sleep for 3 days im tired of it

2019-10-10T16:11:20.000Z

dg09qm

ptsd

in hell or purgatory for years..

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dg09qm/in_hell_or_purgatory_for_years/

thatsnotmyname196

Today, I am heading back to the one place in the world that has the source of all my pain and nightmares for years now. I have actively avoided this place for 13 years and now I force to go back. My PTSD and anxiety is already on overdrive and I haven’t even boarded the plane.

2019-10-10T15:51:50.000Z

dfzzhr

ptsd

My worse nightmare.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfzzhr/my_worse_nightmare/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T15:49:03.000Z

dfzy4a

ptsd

How does one know that they have PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfzy4a/how_does_one_know_that_they_have_ptsd/

Sad_Tangerine

I'm feeling very proud of myself today. I finally went to the doctor and asked about diagnosis. I have been debating and stressing about doing this for years and finally I did it. One step closer to getting real good help.

2019-10-10T15:07:25.000Z

dfzcnv

ptsd

Took the first step today

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfzcnv/took_the_first_step_today/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T14:57:56.000Z

dfz7qe

ptsd

The last few days have been rough

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfz7qe/the_last_few_days_have_been_rough/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T14:04:44.000Z

dfyhcp

ptsd

Parents with medical illness

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfyhcp/parents_with_medical_illness/

PsychedelicSkater420

[removed]

2019-10-10T13:02:35.000Z

dfxp33

ptsd

Do i have ptsd?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfxp33/do_i_have_ptsd/

diadcm

As a veteran, I just want to say that even if you do didn't serve, I know your PTSD is real. I question if I had PTSD prior to my military experience. I've had childhood trauma that feel a lot like my combat trauma. I can easily see how the two are similar. Unfortunately, it's much easier to get taken seriously if you are a Veteran. The VA is very aware of the issue and has plenty of resources. I thank God that I found this path to help me with my mental health struggles. If you're ever doubting yourself, or finding it hard to find people that relate to you. Just remember at least one person believes you. Edit: Thanks to everyone who commented their appreciation. I hope this is a stigma that can be broken.

2019-10-10T12:46:38.000Z

dfxido

ptsd

As a veteran

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfxido/as_a_veteran/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T12:26:39.000Z

dfx9vc

ptsd

PTSD? What's wrong with me?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfx9vc/ptsd_whats_wrong_with_me/

SmezBob

I wasn’t in any traumatic situation in a theater, but I find that I can’t sit in a theater and watch a movie without getting really stressed out (Like panicking and chest hurting). Can anyone else here relate to this?

2019-10-10T12:17:19.000Z

dfx5v1

ptsd

Does anybody else find theaters intolerable?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfx5v1/does_anybody_else_find_theaters_intolerable/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T12:15:07.000Z

dfx53a

ptsd

I want to finish uni but I can’t function

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfx53a/i_want_to_finish_uni_but_i_cant_function/

tobecontinued89

I woke up today the kind of sore where everything hurts and you walk stiff. Every muscle, joint, limb hurts. I'm stiff and sore. I had extremely physical day yesterday and that is the result. And now I feel like I'm sleepwalking through my day. Doing the scheduled todos and tasks is okay, but if I have to make decisions it's a bad idea because my mind is in the red zone. And so I can't think rationally, I feel vulnerable and so my mind is screaming what I need. So any decisions right now would be made to make me feel comfortable and safe which isn't always the wisest decisions obviously. What I need and what is logical don't always align. And every time I have to walk and I feel the pain radiating in my muscles, I feel like I'm drifting into memories and have extremely dark feelings. Is it just me? I am happy I am still managing my day and being productive, just ...needed to share, see if anyone out there has felt the same.

2019-10-10T10:57:28.000Z

dfwb3f

ptsd

Does being extremely physically sore and/or in pain ever trigger you?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfwb3f/does_being_extremely_physically_sore_andor_in/

[deleted]

My last two psychiatrists deny me service and downplay the severity of my illness. I was abused for the first 18 years of my life. I have daily recurrent nightmares about my childhood abuse and bullying at school. The first psychiatrist would yell at me, "how much therapy have you had over the years?! How much money have you spent? Has it helped? NO! You don't need therapy, you just need a job!" I was trying to get free therapy that was promised and he reneged on the deal... I filed complaints and reported him multiple times but nothing came of it. I had an appointment with my latest psychiatrist yesterday and he refused to diagnose me with PTSD, saying "it doesn't matter if you have BPD or PTSD, the treatment is the same." I told him I had daily flashbacks and nightmares every night, about the same traumatic scenarios from my childhood.... Like being held underwater by my dad when I was 4-5 years old. My private therapist that I'm currently seeing wanted me to get a PTSD diagnosis from him, and he refused... I have to pay out of pocket for therapy since my psychiatrists are assholes. They also hooked me on benzos in 2009 and refuse to help me taper off.

2019-10-10T09:37:31.000Z

dfvkb9

ptsd

my last two psychiatrists

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfvkb9/my_last_two_psychiatrists/

cultyq

I just had a mood drop and I’m feeling really weird. I get like this every once in a while but I’m not sure if there’s a term for it. I feel antsy and overwhelmed and I can’t think straight, it’s like everything and nothing all at once. I feel empty, like I’m hungry and thirsty and bored but *nothing* I do is satisfactory. Food doesn’t taste good and it also doesn’t fill me up, etc. it’s not an emotionally numb feeling, I get that tool d this isn’t it. I feel like I’m trying to anxiously fill a hole and nothing is working.

2019-10-10T09:21:25.000Z

dfvfc9

ptsd

Feeling antsy and everything is unfulfilling? Empty?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfvfc9/feeling_antsy_and_everything_is_unfulfilling_empty/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T09:03:08.000Z

dfv9n7

ptsd

I feel so weak

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfv9n7/i_feel_so_weak/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T07:31:25.000Z

dfuj2s

ptsd

PTSD SOs/Spouses

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfuj2s/ptsd_sosspouses/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-10T07:26:30.000Z

dfuhjv

ptsd

If they have PTSD, for the significant others and spouses: how can you tell what is the right or best thing to do in your relationship? How can you tell what actions are due to PTSD and what needs to be addressed even as treatment is ongoing? How do you know what is most loving for you & them?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfuhjv/if_they_have_ptsd_for_the_significant_others_and/

naturehatesme

I've been battling myself everyday since I found out how inept I am at life and relationships. Crying almost every day. Being told I'm hurting people by shutting them out (which is the last thing I want to do). Every time someone hurts me (which I've been sensitive about right now) or tells me I'm doing a basic need wrong, I shut down. I don't let anyone in to help and my brain goes straight to "I hate being me. No one should ever be connected to me." etc. I feel like I don't know who I am. FYI I've been on Zoloft for just about 3.5 months. "Change your meds" is a valid reply but if you have more things I can work with, please let me know. 😓

2019-10-10T03:32:33.000Z

dfs8rs

ptsd

So angry. So lost.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfs8rs/so_angry_so_lost/

deffzombie

I am sure all of us struggle with exhaustion. I find that no matter what I am tired all day from the morning on. Any way to cope with this? Caffeine just makes me anxious.

2019-10-10T03:00:11.000Z

dfrw3i

ptsd

How to deal with being so tired?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfrw3i/how_to_deal_with_being_so_tired/

phillydave75

So I’ve got appointments tomorrow with my “team” of VA doctors and I am wondering when I am going to let them see my true self. What they see is a “pleasant 43 y/o male” (as the notes say) and they aren’t wrong. That is the persona I give to them. Yes sir, no ma’am I’m fine, wake up pain is an 8 but I get through the day...” blah blah blah. Loose, comfortable, pleasant. However, what I want to say and do are so contradictory to this I really wonder what would happen. What would happen if I took off this mask and you saw how I really feel? The physical and mental exhaustion from assessing every face I see as a threat. Every corner I turn, piece of road debris I encounter, every shitbag driver is a target that is analyzed, filed and appropriately countered. All day, everyday. Throw in the constant pain that apparently is just my brain having a malfunctioning feedback loop. Wake up, push through the day, collapse at the end, rinse and repeat. When will I be able to say to a doctor with enough authority that something will actually change? How long is enough? PMA only gets me in and out of bed. It’s not a solution. Yet, I know that I’ll leave the VA tomorrow with no answers, no viable solutions, just a team of doctors that think they’ve got me all figured out. Sigh. I guess we’ll see. (First ever reddit post. More to follow).

2019-10-10T02:54:30.000Z

dfrtsg

ptsd

The masks we wear...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfrtsg/the_masks_we_wear/

k8iew24

Does anyone else get to extreme points where they realize their illness is really bad but also hit extreme lows where you consider that maybe you're a faker or exaggerating your issues? I can't help but think such radical thoughts when I'm having really good or bad days. Lately I've had a lot of bad days and due to my other worsening illnesses on top of PTSD, I'm considering applying for a service dog. But then I make it to a really good day and convince myself that I don't need a service dog because I'm just a faker and would be doing it for attention. Let me know if you also feel this way and if so - how do you cope with it?

2019-10-10T02:47:29.000Z

dfrqz8

ptsd

Highs and lows

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfrqz8/highs_and_lows/

[deleted]

2019-10-10T01:42:05.000Z

dfqzti

ptsd

Is there a way to get rid of flashbacks/hallucinations without medication?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfqzti/is_there_a_way_to_get_rid_of/

[deleted]

Trigger warnings: parental/paternal abuse I am having a problem with a friend of mine. I'll call her Emily. I am dealing with a lot in my life right now. The most major is a health problem that I will be having a serious surgery to correct, early next year. I am socially isolated because I have no local friends. I was texting with Emily tonight looking for emotional support. Emily lives several states away and did not have time for a phone call. She is trying to give me advise and a pep talk, which I know comes from a place of care. But then she says "I know you are going to shoot this down, so I don't know why I'm bothering to mention it, but you could use this time to start to heal your relationship with your dad." My father abused me physically and mentally from ages 7-18. Emily knows this. I left home at 18 and have never been back to live with my parents. I am now in my late twenties. My dad has apologized several times to me, a few months will pass, and then I'll be at their house for dinner and he'll blow up at me. I'll say one thing wrong and it will escalate to "you are a worthless piece of shit. Get out of my house," etc etc. I no longer trust him. Unless he gets therapy and actually does work to better himself, I will never speak to him again. We have been estranged for half a decade. I have told Emily about this pattern of behavior from him. She knows how bad the childhood abuse was. She knows about the empty apologies that just led to more abuse. And she still has the nerve and insanity to suggest I try to reconcile with him, in that passive aggressive language to boot? In the short term I re-explained my reasons for being estranged from my dad, because apparently she forgot, and she hasn't replied. It feels like she does not understand or support my choices. Is this kind of life experience that hard to understand if you haven't lived through it? I am deeply hurt that she would say this to me. Why would she do this? Is she toxic? Should I cut her out? Or just not discuss this aspect of my life with her anymore? She lives so far away and rarely has time to talk to me anyway, maybe it would make sense simply to fade out of contact with her.

2019-10-10T01:21:33.000Z

dfqr95

ptsd

What to do with friends who don't understand your PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfqr95/what_to_do_with_friends_who_dont_understand_your/

Akspiker13

I was recently diagnosed with ptsd after an incident at work where I had to clean a red Jeep Wrangler that was t boned it had two car seats in the back that were a mess (not to go into detail). Longstory short I found family photos and such, a happy family, and then was informed what I feared the kids didn’t make it. Ever since I’ve had nightmares of driving the Jeep and visions of getting into a horrible accident while driving. I feel like if I explain why I stay away from vehicles, tv shows/movies with gore and in general I stay away from the world. I don’t want to just labeled as a sissy or something. I don’t know how to explain to people why I’m absent in everyone’s lives

2019-10-10T01:10:15.000Z

dfqmfg

ptsd

I feel like if I try to tell people I have PTSD no one will take me seriously

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfqmfg/i_feel_like_if_i_try_to_tell_people_i_have_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-09T21:03:45.000Z

dfndk1

ptsd

Nightmares

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfndk1/nightmares/

RemarkableRaccoon0

I've been living with ptsd since I was 12. Of course then I didn't know what it was.. But the thing I am having a time with is my appetite. Food and stability were not present much in my childhood. The person who sexually abused me as a kid (my moms bf) would feed me and I think that has a lot to do with my issues today... I had a massive breakup, I might post about it somewhere because it was a mixture of my ptsd but also the side effects of my medication that ended my relationship. Since that major life change (we were together 6 Years and were engaged) I've really struggled with eating. I do what I can to get food in my body, it's not a dysphoria and self esteem thing. I literally have no interest in food or eating it. My go-to foods are becoming less palatable to me and when I don't eat I get super anxious and depressed. It's horrible. It affects my work sometimes, and totally my relationships. With my breakup all my close ties got severed and the ones that exist are difficult because I relocated away from my hometown. I have a girlfriend now but she is pretty occupied by her own stuff, and although we love each other I'm not sure where she stands with things. Kind of contributes to my overall loneliness coupled with the fact I don't have any friends outside of work. Thank God for work! Or I probably would have killed myself. There's just nothing to live for, so I am trying to find something lol I know that sounds dark but it's my situation. I'm not suicidal right now, but sometimes it crosses my mind because wtf else am I suppose to do? I have two cats so someone has to feed them, biggest part of being alive. I love my girlfriend very much but she also got out of a long term relationship, I'm simply not her priority. With the holidays approaching like Canadian Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Christmas I am reconciling the fact I'm not part of the same kind of family i was last year. I'm alone and have PTSD, but I can't afford to let it take over my life again. That was the most expensive and horrific experience of my life! I'm feeling lost, friendless. I've reached out to people but they don't usually understand me, or their reaching out is superficial or a show. It's also harder to meet people with a gf, but I'm not into randos anymore, so it's not really my jam anyway... Sucks being 28, too much of an adult for people to care.

2019-10-09T20:29:29.000Z

dfmvyj

ptsd

Frustrated with my appetite and loneliness

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfmvyj/frustrated_with_my_appetite_and_loneliness/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-09T16:45:16.000Z

dfjqan

ptsd

I think I’m spiraling and I’m angry at my husband who can’t help me (tw mention of abuse, yelling, SA no details)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfjqan/i_think_im_spiraling_and_im_angry_at_my_husband/

dioxazine_violet

The past couple days have been more hellish than usual. Startling at the slightest sounds or movements, dissociation and depersonalization, more nightmares, head constantly on a swivel looking for danger, unending monologue of intrusive thoughts, triggered again and again and again... I was feeling more hopeless than usual. Everything was turning into a catastrophe. Everything was threatening and scary. There would be absolutely no way that I could survive like that for long. And then, this morning, the familiar signs and symptoms of my period. I've always had a tough time with PMS. Since coming more fully into my PTSD, I feel like it's getting out of hand. Even though I know exactly when to expect my periods, it still surprises me pretty much every month how out of control my symptoms get in the days beforehand. Anyone else experience this? Any suggestions, tips, or tricks? Thanks for reading, hope you're doing ok today.

2019-10-09T15:53:28.000Z

dfizll

ptsd

PTSD + PMS: Anyone else have their symptoms get out of control while PMSing?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfizll/ptsd_pms_anyone_else_have_their_symptoms_get_out/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-09T14:05:26.000Z

dfhifc

ptsd

Life hasnt been the same since the 10 of July 2019

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfhifc/life_hasnt_been_the_same_since_the_10_of_july_2019/

KAN-DIS_RAH-BIN-SUN

...a root canal I had as a kid (11 i think). It was terrifying then and still is now, but I buried it deep in side while taking it like a damn g at the time (cried a single fucking tear). And I'm not proud of that! I'm not proud of being terrified to that extent. Certainly I'm not happy about any part of the situation. I had to go several times.. you know what, I'll spare yall all the extended dramatics. It's the genesis of my fear of dentistry & drill sounds. <------That has kept me from going to the dentist unless I REALLY need it. I'm not in pain now, or most of the time really. But *IDK WHERE TO BEGIN* *(I'm so scared for my dental health tbh to the point of embarrassment.)* # WTF now? ps tw because if there's anyone else out there like me..

2019-10-09T13:56:03.000Z

dfhe0o

ptsd

I really think I may have PTSD from... (TW Dental) | Need Help figuring out what my next steps are.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfhe0o/i_really_think_i_may_have_ptsd_from_tw_dental/

Juniuspublicus12

How do others deal with the brain hamsters that spin up treadmills and cause second guessing around relationships? I'm seeing someone truly wonderful, and I run into serious doubt around my fitness for her when we aren't together. I have no rational reason to doubt myself or her actions or intentions, but the doubt arrives when I can't sleep. Should I ever say anything about this? How do others cope?

2019-10-09T12:43:42.000Z

dfghpe

ptsd

The PTSD Brain Hamster Wheel and Relationships

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfghpe/the_ptsd_brain_hamster_wheel_and_relationships/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-09T11:01:02.000Z

dffej2

ptsd

I'm not sure what's going on with me (trigger warning)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dffej2/im_not_sure_whats_going_on_with_me_trigger_warning/

littlestredplanet

I've been going through a rough depressive episode lately and everyday I've just been waiting for when I see my psychiatrist next week. I think tweaking/changing my medication should help a lot because it only treats my anxiety. (I have PTSD, GAD and depression.) But I've been missing a lot of school lately and I'm worried even with the new medicine this may keep up. It's not like I don't try?? I'll wake up at 6 and try to do my morning routine and get out the door but I'll be so sluggish and miserable that even getting my feet on the ground is difficult. As of right now I've just been using parent notes but I'm almost out of those for the year without truancy charges and school is only a fourth of the way through. I was wondering if there's a way to prove validity and get a doctor's excuse for an absence for mental illness? Or just some way that if I need to miss, it can absolutely happen other than me faking sick and going to a doctor? (I'm that desperate.) Because there's some days I just can't, like today, because I'm recovering from an emotional flashback I had yesterday and it honestly feels like I died and was mediocrely resurrected during my therapy appointment.

2019-10-09T10:46:13.000Z

dff9pm

ptsd

Is there a way to excuse absences for school??

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dff9pm/is_there_a_way_to_excuse_absences_for_school/

bonizzle

So long story short, i’ve had more smaller events of sexual abuse starting when I was 12, possibly earlier, with a very neglectful and toxic mother and family. I had a bigger trauma when I was 16 where i got dragged out of a car and let in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t until I was 20 I got the diagnosis of PTSD (also bipolar) after years of trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I started going to therapy, but the prolonged exposure didn’t work. I didn’t want to do it, because it just made me uncomfortable. I have panic attacks and the fear and real emotions come when I don’t expect it at home, but i was never able to get any emotions out in therapy. I couldn’t even really have full memories of the main traumas. My therapist always tried to get me to cry and break down but i never could. I eventually just gave up and stopped going because i started feeling better. He was confused and thought i was running because we didn’t do any real PE work. I feel fine but my husband also thinks i’m running from it. Maybe i’m manic, maybe i didn’t have ptsd, maybe i just got better by myself, and maybe all i needed was someone to validate my traumas and give a shit about me. I just don’t know if anyone else has had this because it’s very confusing and i’m not sure if i’ll relapse soon.

2019-10-09T05:03:07.000Z

dfcafn

ptsd

Anyone else with CPTSD/PTSD have these issues with therapy?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfcafn/anyone_else_with_cptsdptsd_have_these_issues_with/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-09T04:53:23.000Z

dfc746

ptsd

Rexulti (Brexpiprazole) for PTSD and recovery and/preparation for military redeployment

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfc746/rexulti_brexpiprazole_for_ptsd_and_recovery/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-09T04:19:12.000Z

dfbuxm

ptsd

PTSD from a funeral / death

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfbuxm/ptsd_from_a_funeral_death/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-09T03:48:10.000Z

dfbjd5

ptsd

Depending on someone ... What is too much?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dfbjd5/depending_on_someone_what_is_too_much/

BadJuJuForYou

I wrote up a description of mine for my therapist because I didn’t feel like I was verbalizing it well. It was received really well, so I thought I’d share mine and what I do to help myself and see what you guys do as well. Maybe those that are struggling or lurking can gain some tips? Unfortunately formatting isn’t my friend and I’m on mobile so I’ll do my best [ninja edit: Holy crap, I can format on accident lol]. These are some typical things that happen when I dissociate: My Vocab: **Autopilot** - I’ll physically function normally, vision is normal, but I feel detached from reality. No foggy vision, I stay in body, I can’t see anywhere that my eyes aren’t looking. I feel like a robot, that my body is doing the minimal amount of work possible (ex. Not falling to the ground, bowels work) in that mechanically I’m fine, but mentally I’m watching the world through someone else’s eyes, or the same type of feeling of watching a movie scene through the eyes of a character. * Little to no thoughts, sometimes can’t finish a sentence in thought. Ex. “Oh I should..” and can’t finish thinking what I should do. Sometimes I can visualize the task, but not form the words associated with them. * While driving, its largely done on autopilot. If dissociated whole trip, can’t easily remember how I got home (route) or if anything happened along trip (vehicular trigger, a known store has closed for good, what traffic was like [heavy, light, etc.]). But if someone is braking in front of me, I slow down appropriately. If I need to pass someone, I do so safely while checking blind spots and using blinker. * While walking in public (in store or on sidewalk, etc.) I’m on autopilot where I’m walking next to the person I’m with, or fast if alone which is normal. I’ll move for people coming towards me, but not stepping out of way, just turn body, which isn’t normal. If not dissociated, I step out of way. * Recently (in the last year, at least) my lips get tingly both when I’m beginning to dissociate (and can potentially use that as a sign to calm down) and when I’m going full throttle into dissociation. * Physically, I’m expressionless which (I guess unfortunately for whoever I’m with) makes me look incredibly pissed off due to aggressive Resting Bitch Face. My body is stiff and tense, think rock hard. Feels like every muscle is flexed, I feel like I’m ready to brawl, even though I’d probably melt into a puddle of anything led to that. If I’m alone in public, I stare ahead with minimal blinking, and zone into whatever I’m looking for. I’ve heard it resembles a glare. Jaw is usually lax and deep breathing doesn’t do anything until I’m in my car. * Things that occasionally help, but not 100% of the time, sometimes not at all: * Foreign music (French, Scandinavian) * Music Therapy playlists (calm instrumentals) * Cold objects (cold bottle of liquid, the fridge doors open and my face inside) or cold wind (open window in car or a fan blowing on me) * Intense fidgeting (rolling bottles between my hands, picking cuticles & fingernails, twirling hair if it’s clean, wiggling my toes, bouncing my feet, rolling my ankles in circles if elevated) * During colder months, fleece blankets on bare skin (tummy and legs primarily) * Pinterest, Instagram (for the musicians and mental health & dog related tags I follow) * Deep belly breathing if in “safe” place (ex. Not in public)

2019-10-09T01:11:56.000Z

df9pm5

ptsd

How does your dissociation manifest and how do you recover from it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df9pm5/how_does_your_dissociation_manifest_and_how_do/

aimingfortime

Hello, my mother who has raised me by herself almost all of her life persumably has ptsd.I am not sure if she diagnosed herself or was diagnosed by a psychiatrist. All my life i have witnessed some symptoms almost weekly, sometimes worse than others. Flashbacks that seem to be a symptom maybe most present in ptsd do not seem to accur to my knowledge. She gets stressed really easily and lets her anger out on me often because of something minor that i didn\`t do such as not have taken the trash out fast enough or not doing as well in school as she wants me to. She cannot calm herself down as well as others so she screams a lot (usually at me) because she can\`t deal with the stress i think. That behavior as well as some violence in extreme situations have been present throughout all my life and all those bad experiences have been piling up in me and also effect my mental health to some degree.Trying to calm her down or reason with her usually have no effect or worsen the situation. When asked if she did anything to react differently or better her reaction to me she replied with no. Moving out is not an option for me due to financial reasons. Me trying to avoid situations that trigger her does not work due to the impulsivity and sometimes randomness of her reactions. She does not want to get therapy by herself but is willing to do it with me (Pairtherapy?, Familytherapy?)so we made an appointment for next week. I am not sure though if this will actually solve anything. **So I guess my question is, how do I deal with this situation and how could I make her and my life easier as a whole?** I am thankful to any replies to my comment and sorry to any mistakes i made as English is not my frst language and I am really tired.

2019-10-09T00:06:57.000Z

df8ujb

ptsd

Child of a parent with ptsd

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df8ujb/child_of_a_parent_with_ptsd/

[deleted]

Last year my ex-boyfriend sexually assaulted me. I didn't entirely understand it as sexual assault until months later, after we had broken up. He was also verbally and emotionally abusive, and he coerced me into doing certain sex acts by joking that he was going to cheat on me, or telling me that I was making him feel guilty. While I was already experiencing PTSD symptoms at that point, once the memory came back, it became even worse. My ex and I used to work at the same restaurant, but after realizing he assaulted me, I moved to another location. I was still experiencing PTSD symptoms but it wasn't so bad because I wasn't surrounded by as many triggers. But then I started dating this other guy. For the first few weeks, it was nice. He never hurt me or anything; he was actually really sweet and made sex nice and comfortable for me again. But then he got cold feet, broke up with me really abruptly, and made me feel like it was all my fault. To top it off, he told me that I "slept with him too easily." But the awful thing is that I still miss him and every time I see him, I want him back. It's obvious to everyone I work with that I have PTSD. While some days aren't as bad as others, almost every single coworker has seen how easily startled I get at unexpected noises or people coming up behind me. Almost everybody has also seen me sobbing hysterically in the back because something has triggered me. All the managers know what happened to me, and while they've been really supportive, it's humiliating I ever even had to tell them in the first place. Recently, a man came in and sat at the bar while I was working one night. He looked exactly like my ex. I still don't know whether it was him or not, but I showed his picture to the bartender who was working that night and to the host, and they both agreed that he looked like the guy sitting at the bar. I've been in a terrible state ever since. I'm in the process of changing jobs, but I know that's not going to cure me of my PTSD. I just at least want to get away from this place where my ex can find me and where everybody knows what happened to me. My PTSD is ruining my life. I used to be a straight A student, I was planning on going to graduate school, and I was super organized. Now I barely go to class, even though this is my final semester of university. Most of the time I can't even remember what classes I have on what day. I'm exhausted all the time, I spend at least half my day sleeping. I'm still able to get up, cook for myself, and exercise, but that's basically it. Besides that, I do almost nothing. I'm also dissociated for at least half the day; I feel like I'm not really real, everything around me sort of hazy and out of focus, my mind totally blank. I'm also angry all the time. I'm angry at my friends, my family, myself, everyone. I keep isolating myself from people, and the moment anybody tries to reach out, I just get angry and snap. I also recently came to the realization that I was sexually abused as a child. I always kind of knew it, but much like the way my ex assaulted me, I didn't fully understand it. So much of my behavior in childhood and now as an adult is beginning to make sense (hypersexuality, but also fear and disgust towards sex, self harm, severe mood instability, my tendency to get extremely attached to people and then cut them off out of nowhere). I don't know what to do about this, I still feel like I can't tell anyone. I just feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of all this. I have no idea how to exist or make it through the day. I'm tired all the time, I'm angry, and I'm not even really present when people try to talk to me. I'm in the process of possibly finding a new therapist, but for the most part it's just too expensive and my family has a lot of money problems, plus they can be toxic at times and lately I've found it's just better to distance myself from them. I don't know what to do, I feel like everything is collapsing around me.

2019-10-08T23:05:49.000Z

df80va

ptsd

It's all just piling up (TW: Sexual assault, CSA, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, self harm)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df80va/its_all_just_piling_up_tw_sexual_assault_csa/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-08T21:33:39.000Z

df6opv

ptsd

Why am I not angry (trigger warning)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df6opv/why_am_i_not_angry_trigger_warning/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-08T21:20:13.000Z

df6hkr

ptsd

I'm too scared to get help and I feel like an impostor for even considering being traumatized.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df6hkr/im_too_scared_to_get_help_and_i_feel_like_an/

the_halfblood_waste

Hello, this is my first post here. I dont know if I'm looking for advice or just others' perspectives on a situation or what, but I need to discuss it in a space where others might understand. I'm a college student. I also have PTSD from a situation that was very abusive and fucked six ways to sunday. One that effectively destroyed my life and very nearly killed me. I had to take time off school because of it, and ultimately I ended up moving to a new state and transferring universities and just trying to start a new life. I've been having trouble continuing studying what I used to study (physics), so I've been kind of branching out with other types of classes to see if i might want to change my major and pursue something else instead. That's why this semester I'm taking a drama class. I thought that maybe doing something different and creative/artistic might be a positive experience. This is an introductory course for students who are not drama majors, so I had an expectation that it would be good exposure to the dramatic arts without expecting too much of me. But it has become a huge source of anxiety and stress for me. The current situation: The bulk of the semester's graded assignments are tied into this one play we were assigned to read. This play deals with some very heavy and serious material--that is similar to the situation I escaped from--and when it was first assigned I read the synopsis and knew that I might find it unpleasant but I really thought it wouldn't bother me too badly. I thought I could deal with it. I was wrong. We didn't actually get around to reading the play itself until last week (already midway through the semester). I found it was really hard to get through, even reading it privately, and my insomnia, nightmares and even flashbacks have been much worse because of it. Then, the instructors said the next assignment is to actually perform the scenes from the play, for the entire class. I 100% know I cannot do this. I read through the scene I was assigned and it was awful--they're basically asking me to step into the role of a character who is hurting another character in exactly the way I was hurt IRL, and this is a character the audience is meant to sympathize with in this scene. I emailed my instructor and explained that the central themes and content of this play are hitting me hard because they are similar to a past experience of mine that was traumatic, and that I did not anticipate that I was going to have this much of a problem with it but I am, and that I didnt feel safe or comfortable performing scenes from it. I asked if he was willing to work with me on an alternative so that I can still be part of the class and have a chance at a good grade. My instructor is basically unwilling to work with or even try to accommodate me. He stressed what an inconvenience it was to bring up so late in the semester and also said it would be unfair to the other students if he were to allow me a difference scene or an alternative assignment and that my unwillingness to participate would negatively affect their grades. He also suggested that performing these scenes offers "a rare opportunity for healing". We emailed back and forth a bit, he asked me to discuss it in person but also refused to schedule office hours on account of being too busy, and concluded by saying that accommodating ne would result in a serious deduction from my grade--basically, that I would be failed. I am at a loss for what to do or how to respond. I think that "opportunities for healing" are in the realm of therapy, not an undergraduate intro to drama class. I had been seeing a therapist until recently, and this traumatic experience I suffered was not so long ago. I'm not over it. I havent healed yet. I am working on it but recovery is a process. I should not have to compromise my mental health or my academic success for the sake of classroom art. This is an awful position I'm being put in, it's incredibly triggering, but I seem to have no recourse. I'm not registered with the campus disability office because frankly I didn't need the type of accommodations they offer (extra test time and whatnot) but it also means that if I take it up with a higher authority the instructor has every right to deny me accommodation because I'm not officially documented with the campus. Simply dropping the class is not an option because my financial aid is dependent upon me being enrolled as a full time student (by credit hour) and I live off my financial aid. That's what I pay rent with. If I lose my aid I will most definitely be evicted by Christmas. I feel so powerless and angry and like this is not right, but I've been told by some people that its normal and expected to "suffer for your art" or that having a related trauma is actually good because it will make my performance "more authentic". This is not goddamn Broadway, this is Drama 101 for Non-majors!! I came to this university, I took this particular class, to try to move on from my abuse, not to relive it and perform it publicly for entertainment and a grade. The stress and anxiety is affecting my ability to function, I have relapsed with self harm, I started out the semester so excited for this class and eager to learn but now I just dread it, and I'm disgusted with myself for being so weak and inconvenient to everyone.

2019-10-08T18:27:37.000Z

df417n

ptsd

Triggers/PTSD in a theatre class?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df417n/triggersptsd_in_a_theatre_class/

sneakergeek895

I first have to give props to the entire cast of the movie because good god--the acting was phenomenal. That being said, the acting was a little *too* on the nose at some points, so to speak. My boyfriend had wanted to see it, and I thought I could manage the storyline. Turns out, I was barely able to. Even worse, we're in one of the largest cities in the world, meaning there are always plenty of people around if I end up breaking down. \*spoiler alert coming\* In the part where we find out that Arthur was abused as a child, and we see the mother diagnosed with a personality disorder, I immediately was thrown back to my own upbringing. Some of the emotions and events that they touched on in Arthur's childhood and how Arthur acts now in the present were too overwhelming for me; both of my parents have undiagnosed mental illnesses that made growing up... painful, to say the least. My boyfriend noticed, and he kept touching me and holding my hand--telling me it was all right. The thing is, that only made me feel worse; here he was, trying to enjoy this movie, and I was on the cusp of having a full-on panic attack for most of it. Can anyone relate to that feeling? Part of having PTSD for myself, also, means I just expect the worst and assume I could be attacked at any instant. So when some dude behind me began to laugh maniacally at a violent scene that definitely was **not** funny, I immediately became tenser and thought, "oh good, this is where I die now; this will be the Aurora theater 2.0." It took me hours after the movie had ended to calm down and center myself back in reality. My boyfriend led me home to my apartment; he actually had to pull me back from almost getting hit by a taxi when I was about to cross the street, completely unaware of my surroundings. So, not a great night. If you're going to see Joker, just be aware that it might trigger something. It's a well-done movie, but it's also intense.

2019-10-08T15:54:12.000Z

df1wdz

ptsd

Saw the Joker movie with partner--was triggered

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df1wdz/saw_the_joker_movie_with_partnerwas_triggered/

flowergirl0720

So I got in trouble at work today. I got a final warning for a mistake i made. I work from home, so luckily it was done over the phone, because I began shaking and crying and getting dizzy and nauseous. Now I feel drained. I am tired of feeling this way over and over. Luckily it does not happen that often.

2019-10-08T15:53:49.000Z

df1w75

ptsd

Job drama causing flashbacks

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df1w75/job_drama_causing_flashbacks/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-08T14:50:56.000Z

df10of

ptsd

I want to die (trigger warning)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df10of/i_want_to_die_trigger_warning/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-10-08T13:39:11.000Z

df03dy

ptsd

When you heard the words...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/df03dy/when_you_heard_the_words/

MidnightSporty

I’m truly sorry for making all your lives harder for being a stereotype. My crime was in the news too and it said I had PTSD. I threatened someone. I wasn’t prone to rage like this before PTSD. I’m 12 years in and I still lose it from time to time but over serious things. This was a serious thing, the person harmed my disabled child but was protected from it due to being a politician. I’m sorry, I know so many of us face discrimination under the perception that we’re violent wild cards...

2019-10-08T13:02:50.000Z

deznco

ptsd

I committed a crime. I’m sorry for being a PTSD stereotype

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/deznco/i_committed_a_crime_im_sorry_for_being_a_ptsd/

some-velvet-morning

I’m looking back at some very serious situations throughout my life, things like severe flashbacks, panic attacks or even worse, and since I usually always keep everything related to my PTSD to myself until I absolutely need somebody’s help, I have noticed that I when I do finally reach out, I always say to my friends something like, “hey man, i think i might be, like, buggin’ out big time.” Or my most recent one, “uh, i think i’m going off the rails, dude.” And my voice will be very even and calm, but I can feel how much I’m physically shaking, my heart is on jackhammer mode and I’m sure the sheer terror is evident in my eyes, because my friends always know something major is going on. Is anybody else like this?? I think I do it because I don’t want to make a big deal about shit, or maybe I’m scared if I were more expressive then people might not take me seriously or something (unfounded, my friends are very empathetic) and then I would feel worse. Like a fear of being emotionally rejected thing. So I’m just very casual about expressing that I feel like I am about to drop dead.

2019-10-08T11:26:52.000Z

deymfr

ptsd

Does anyone else use humor or act really casual when you’re trying to communicate to others that you are actually having a major crisis?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/deymfr/does_anyone_else_use_humor_or_act_really_casual/

FoxTaylor

So I decide to quit it today. The boss have told something slightly crossing the lines. Like, I always date early 20’s or I like young pretty girls etc. few days ago, he said sex for Joke. Since after then my insecurities has been arise. I’m so nervous and my heartbeats is like crazy. So I decided to leave. I haven’t told him yet. But I will. I am nervous what if he says no or threaten me.

2019-10-08T05:17:29.000Z

devkm5

ptsd

I don’t feel safe in my work

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/devkm5/i_dont_feel_safe_in_my_work/

theamazingsj

Every autumn (especially October, the month I was assaulted in) I spend most of the time unable to sleep bc whenever I try my entire body feels like I'm covered in hives despite not a single bump. I've talked to my therapist and GP and it being a trauma/anxiety response not medical issue is the best guess for now. Does anyone have any suggestions to calm it down at all so I have have a tiny bit of peace?

2019-10-08T04:54:05.000Z

devcma

ptsd

Two year anniversary and I'm physically itchy bc of it. How can I stop itching?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/devcma/two_year_anniversary_and_im_physically_itchy_bc/