author
stringlengths 3
20
| body
stringlengths 1
39.8k
⌀ | created_utc
stringlengths 24
24
| id
stringlengths 6
6
| num_comments
int64 0
2.94k
| score
int64 0
6.06k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values | title
stringlengths 1
300
| upvote_ratio
float64 0.05
1
| url
stringlengths 18
516
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-18T00:09:49.000Z | djf5y3 | 2 | 2 | ptsd | My hair is getting long and I can’t tie it | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djf5y3/my_hair_is_getting_long_and_i_cant_tie_it/ |
journey1992 | Anyone tired of constantly second guessing whether your feelings towards others/situations are intuitive or a traumatic response?
It feels like I am gaslighting and second guessing myself frequently trying to figure out if I should trust my feelings and thoughts. I am frequently wondering if I should trust my feeling of feeling this person is unsafe due to intuition or is it my trauma/disorganized attachment talking.
I started seeing a new therapist and when I first met her, I was like I trust her and think it’s a good fit. But the next time I saw her, I started protecting myself and closed up and felt hesitant to trust her. I told her it felt like she didn’t trust me and she hinted towards questioning whether my interpretations are accurate of her feelings. She said she wondered if I was projecting my feelings towards her at me but she also told me to trust my feelings and listen to my body. I told her I agreed. The issue is, do I trust my feelings of a person not being safe when I feel that way about most people?
Ahh, this is tough.
I’ve been gaslit by whole life by narcs so I want to make sure i don’t gaslight myself. I want to trust my feelings and intuition.. but I also know my interpretations are not always accurate because I may see things a certain way due to PTSD triggers. Often I’ll check the facts but I am very intuitive and the facts don’t always have the full answers.
Ahh, it’s exhausting. Anyone relate? How do you cope? | 2019-10-17T23:35:25.000Z | djeqwz | 12 | 85 | ptsd | Anyone tired of constantly second guessing whether your feelings towards others/situations are intuitive or a traumatic response? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djeqwz/anyone_tired_of_constantly_second_guessing/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-17T22:27:16.000Z | djduhp | 2 | 3 | ptsd | I just kinda need some input on why I do something | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djduhp/i_just_kinda_need_some_input_on_why_i_do_something/ |
buckethatwitch | i had weekly counselling back when i was 10-11 but dropped it because it made me uncomfortable and also because i was still protecting my abusers in the assessment because of the mindset i had back then
i feel like if i continued it or if i tried again back then maybe id feel better and have healthier coping mechanisms now
im 16 and my current school still isnt informed with my involvements with social services and counselling
they have an onsite counsellor that a few of my friends see frequently and I feel so envious of them
i dont feel valid because I don't get professional help
i dont feel valid because i put up a facade that people dont see past
i dont feel like any of the problems i go through everyday are true or severe because theres nobody there to tell me that
id really like counselling again to talk to someone but it might be a hassle | 2019-10-17T22:03:28.000Z | djdirw | 1 | 6 | ptsd | i need advice | 0.88 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djdirw/i_need_advice/ |
buckethatwitch | not gonna do into detail about my childhood trauma but ive had police talk to me, a referred cahms counsellor in year 6 (whom i quickly dropped because i still 'loved' my parents), social services visitations, an escort to drive me to meet my parents, and my grandparents tell me i went through a crisis
i have symptoms of ptsd and have had them for years, still do, but i never found it necessary to actually get diagnosed. i thought, and still do, think it would be a hassle to others and im pretty chill in my life save for the times i cry in the morning after waking up from a dream, zone out and think about bad things and have terrible coping mechanisms
i think that even if i were to get diagnosed, would that satisfy me or embarass me???
i just feel like im not valid and my problems are invalid because im not diagnosed and i dont have the guts to ask for help ornsomeone tontalk to because i disguise my pain so well that they probably cant see past it | 2019-10-17T21:43:08.000Z | djd8s4 | 1 | 6 | ptsd | not diagnosed but people tell me i am traumatised | 0.88 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djd8s4/not_diagnosed_but_people_tell_me_i_am_traumatised/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-17T19:59:23.000Z | djbrq1 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | DAE struggle with cigarette/nicotine addiction? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djbrq1/dae_struggle_with_cigarettenicotine_addiction/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-17T19:09:44.000Z | djb22v | 8 | 45 | ptsd | My coworker (teacher) asked students to describe the worst day of their lives, so bad they never want to repeat or think about it. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djb22v/my_coworker_teacher_asked_students_to_describe/ |
JustLurkinAround2 | Anyone have experience with this they could share? | 2019-10-17T18:48:17.000Z | djarda | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/djarda/accelerated_resolution_therapy_art/ |
shyghst | I just got a prescription for 1mg of Prazosin to take nightly. I didn’t know if it was a med that takes time to build up and start working (like prozac) or something that starts from the first time you take it? | 2019-10-17T17:38:23.000Z | dj9sq9 | 6 | 2 | ptsd | How Long before Prazosin Starts to Work? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dj9sq9/how_long_before_prazosin_starts_to_work/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-17T16:02:44.000Z | dj8g0i | 20 | 183 | ptsd | Today for the first time, I called for counselling, although I changed the subject and ended the call, i got frightened. But I’m atleast glad I called. I don’t have anyone to tell this to, so I’m saying it here. Hope you all are doing good. | 0.99 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dj8g0i/today_for_the_first_time_i_called_for_counselling/ |
hooloovooblues | By getting better I mean I was in kind of a neutral headspace with a few highlights for about a week after two pretty rough weeks.
And then horrific nightmares. For what? Nothing triggered me. I was briefly frustrated about some trivial shit, nothing to write home about. I had, all things considered, an easier day than the preceding days.
This just sucks. I hate it. I'm trying to learn to control what I can control and then the things that I can't just blow up in my face. | 2019-10-17T15:50:41.000Z | dj8a06 | 1 | 6 | ptsd | I feel like I had a decent week, things were getting better, and then nightmares last night for no fucking reason. | 0.88 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dj8a06/i_feel_like_i_had_a_decent_week_things_were/ |
TWiiN2ITION | Yesterday was terrifying and exciting at the same time for me. It was the first time I handled a firearm since the day I got PTSD, almost 4 1/2 years ago. A friend of mine just bought a handgun and I volunteered to be his shooting coach. I've always loved shooting, but with my history, I was hesitant to tag along and shoot.
For the first time in a long time, I was able to forget everything and just focus on something right in front of me, putting lead down range and putting holes in the target.
My friend and I plan on going to the range more so that he can get more trigger time and get more comfortable with his new gun. But I promised myself and more importantly, my wife that until I was farther along on my road to recovery, I would never go to the range alone.
Baby steps are key, and yesterday was a very big baby step for me. | 2019-10-17T10:28:21.000Z | dj4g2l | 1 | 13 | ptsd | Small step towards getting back to my old self | 0.89 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dj4g2l/small_step_towards_getting_back_to_my_old_self/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-17T07:02:21.000Z | dj2oqz | 1 | 0 | ptsd | TW: Suicide How to get over a “taste aversion” for a couple of my medications? | 0.5 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dj2oqz/tw_suicide_how_to_get_over_a_taste_aversion_for_a/ |
[deleted] | Hello all.. Im grateful i found this community.
I was a 911 dispatcher in my town. I took a phone call when i was fairly new to the job that ended very quickly.
911 rang I answered.
"911 whats the address of your emergency"
" Hi my name is_____ i live ___________ im going to shoot myself...BANG!"
I heard what sounded like a patio door slamming shut, and new a gun went off.. That was 30 seconds into the nearly 22 minute long phone call. I spent the next 20 minutes documenting everything i heard.. Mumbling, agonal breathing and finally his last breath.
My employer gave me a brief EPC session right after that call, but i was still numb from it..did it really just happen?!?!.
Then they forgot about me and I was still broken inside..still numb. I sought out my own EPC about 6 months later, but the thoughts still festered.
Here I am 6 years later and still dont know how to process things. I have days,weeks, months where things are great.. But then these intrusive thoughts and guilt come rushing back.. Some guilty thoughts i dont even of they truly happened.
I guess I come looking for advice.. What are some good ways to manage. Sometimes i wish it was all over and stop suffering but i dont want to continue that cycle..
Thanks for looking | 2019-10-17T06:07:08.000Z | dj26zg | 6 | 2 | ptsd | My Story | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dj26zg/my_story/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-17T02:52:51.000Z | dj086w | 0 | 6 | ptsd | Unlocking and being able to start unblocking some memories. Very nervous by what may come out, but so far I'm able to let a lot go. Looking at this whole thing sober for the first time and starting to get satisfied with the progress | 0.81 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dj086w/unlocking_and_being_able_to_start_unblocking_some/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-17T01:33:16.000Z | diz9sq | 2 | 2 | ptsd | Should I stop therapy? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diz9sq/should_i_stop_therapy/ |
HopefulLesbian | So, this isn't really "regular" stress. You see, my girlfriend has been having trouble with the doctors and getting her shoulder fixed (she broke her shoulder during a seizure back in July) because the neurologist office is incompetent. The nurse called and told us one thing and called back and said a different contradictory thing. She is in a lot of pain from that itself and the office is rude and treats her like absolute trash. But we can't do anything because this is the one of two neurologists in the region we live in. The building is one of those "we have every kind of doc" where we go downstairs to see her ortho, and upstairs for the neurologist and to the left to see her gyno, etc. so it's easier to see this doc instead of the one almost an hour away.
Now, this isn't the only thing. She also has an ovarian cyst they need to operate on. Which is causing her INTENSE pain. No one will do anything until the neurologist clears her. We had an appointment today but they cancelled it without telling us. Then treated us as if we were stupid and made her cry and demanded to know what she was getting surgery on which is illegal and a break of HIPPA.
That's just some of it....our dog needs to be spayed because she's having complications associated with age. I'm in 5 classes and I'm having to deal with that and work hours being cut because of classes. We have rent and electric coming up and I have less than $100 in my account.
I go to therapy tomorrow but I'm not sure how to not freak out between now and then. It's become almost too much. (Did I mention she can't work because of her shoulder so I'm the only one who can bring in any money at all?) and i want to scream and cry and punch someone and I can't get it out. I don't know how to handle this.
If anyone has any tips for when life just wants to fuck you up for a bit and how to remain at least a little sane, I would appreciate it so much! | 2019-10-16T21:04:50.000Z | divs82 | 1 | 4 | ptsd | How do you keep decompress/deal with an intense and random increase in stress? | 0.84 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/divs82/how_do_you_keep_decompressdeal_with_an_intense/ |
CSQUITO | How do you get rid of the thing? Also for anyone who might not be familiar with the relevance, sometimes prolonged stress or extreme trauma -> stress -> systemic inflammation -> messed up immune system. How tf do you get rid of it??
For me it’s given me awful rashes- it sounds superficial but I’ve been in physical discomfort for a solid three years (besides a 6 month break), plus self conscious which makes social anxiety worse, and also fear of intimacy etc.
And I’m not being shallow about it but I genuinely don’t want people to be seeing broken skin/bruising/cuts for *their* sake.
Any advice would be welcome. I understand this is one for medics, but 1) I’ve tried there and I found that doctors were defensive to my post (literally got offended by my symptoms 😹) and also autoimmune disease is so individual and unpredictable that sometimes experience is more useful than medicine | 2019-10-16T21:04:09.000Z | divrt0 | 15 | 13 | ptsd | Who else struggles with autoimmune disease? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/divrt0/who_else_struggles_with_autoimmune_disease/ |
Cryptoboy88 | Hello everyone, a close friend of mine has been dealing with PTSD for the past few years. After some close calls, they still have been struggling with ptsd until today. I'm personally someone that a massive advocate for mental health in general and believe that everyone is in need of a support system where they can talk to others about their issues and keep each other motivated.
As a side project, I've been helping my friend by putting together a free chat group for people to support one another. If anyone's interested in joining here it is - http://jungle.gg | 2019-10-16T19:52:04.000Z | diupuy | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Helping others | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diupuy/helping_others/ |
archeresstime | Like the title says, I've isolated myself at home for 2 years after quitting grad school and removing myself from stressors and distractions that kept me from being able to reflect and take care of myself since being diagnosed. My husband supported me in this decision - emotionally and financially ; however, we ended up having to move 2 hours away from home and family near the murder capital of our state and the paranoia reached quality of life affecting levels for me. For a while I *maybe* walked out of our house 1 or 2 times a month and it was ALWAYS with my husband and it was almost never after dark. Those things in particular are not triggers for me, but they are anxiety inducing stressors that have gotten much worse since moving from home. And when home alone, which is about 75% of the time, I always keep my phone and pepper spray either in my hands or right within reach and ALWAYS in a spot that would be easier for me to reach before an aggressor could.
Anyway, I started a job recently after finally reaching a point of realizing that things have either got to change or else I really have no purpose in living in this world. I spoke with my boss during the interview and told her about my PTSD and that I can't handle anything but day shifts and no shifts alone because of it. I told her that eventually once I got used to being out in public again that I MIGHT reach a point where I am comfortable with slowly integrating shifts that would require me to be out at night. She said that was fine, but two weeks into the new job I started getting shifts that had me at the store an hour or more before sunrise and where me and only one other girl would be completely alone until the store opens 4 hours later.
On my first shift like this, when I arrived at work there was a man watering plants outside of the store and the street lights were set incredibly dim. I hurried to the door that was furthest away from him and knocked for her to let me in. She didn't hear me so I had to rush back to my truck and try to contact her. Unfortunately I had never met her so I didn't have her number and my phone was not letting me look up the store number for some reason or let me message her through groupme - despite having service. So I called my husband (who was still asleep) and had him look up the store number for me (fortunately he heard the phone - he easily could have slept through the call). I was eventually able to call her and get let in, but the anxious situations of the day didn't end there. She and I were alone in the store (with my phone in my locker per store policy) when a man somehow walked through the front door and walked up behind her without us noticing or hearing anything. She answered his question and showed him out, but couldn't remember leaving the door unlocked. We were both quite on edge.
Since then I have been seriously considering forking out a lot of money (we're low income) on getting an apple watch with cell service. Besides the obvious reason of being able to have a call making device on hand at all times, I also have fear that my phone can be taken from me (which is a PTSD trigger) or knocked out of my hand, and that pepper spray might not always be able to used or used effectively - and that's if I even have it on me because of work.
Has anyone else found that having a smartwatch like this helped them feel more secure? And does anyone think it's a bad idea to use my first paycheck to buy what seems like a luxury item? Just to be clear, we can live off of my husband's income, but it's just barely above living paycheck to paycheck, we have about $10,000 in student loans, and we do however have one months worth of living expenses set aside in emergency savings. The thought of spending that much money makes me sick, but at the same time I feel like it would help me get my life back. | 2019-10-16T19:24:17.000Z | diub2b | 4 | 1 | ptsd | Back in the real world after 2 years of isolating myself, considering buying a smartwatch with cell service to feel secure being in public alone again. Anyone have experience with this helping their feeling of security? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diub2b/back_in_the_real_world_after_2_years_of_isolating/ |
justapen | When you know you have been through a lot of shit and that you're trying every single day to keep going and heal and get better at coping and respond better to things, whether that be anger towards you or even people showing affection to you, but then it just happens.
You open up to someone and you find yourself casually saying stories you have told many times before but then you realise... This person hasn't filed me as broken in their head. They are doing it right now. It's the look of pity and shock and confusion on their face. They don't know how to react.
Most of the times I just regret opening up which creates confusing social relationships. Like I tell them some difficult stuff and then I just withdraw for a long while or even forever because I (possibly falslely) judged that they couldn't handle it. | 2019-10-16T19:10:02.000Z | diu3cs | 11 | 23 | ptsd | Don't you hate it when you see the look of someone who realises you are considered "fucked up" in their mind? | 0.94 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diu3cs/dont_you_hate_it_when_you_see_the_look_of_someone/ |
escapingtheasylum | A colleague of mine noticed something today. I flinch any time a man touches me - totally benign touch from a handshake to a tap in the shoulder to get my attention.
I left an abusive relationship more than a year ago. My ex would mostly not listen when I said no and occasionally he’d hit me. Often while drunk.
I was shocked that it’s so obvious. I don’t even know I do it.
I don’t date because I’m scared to go out more than necessary. I had a friend with whom I had some intimacy but only because I’ve known him for a long time. He helped me to open my eyes while being intimate. The first few times, they were sealed shut. Anyone new is horrifying and I feel like I’ll be alone forever.
When will my body stop remembering the pain? | 2019-10-16T18:55:15.000Z | ditvc0 | 4 | 5 | ptsd | Will I ever stop flinching? | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ditvc0/will_i_ever_stop_flinching/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-16T18:08:36.000Z | dit82v | 6 | 5 | ptsd | My boyfriend bought me a puppy to help me with my cptsd. But now he wants to take her to see all of his family & friends. :-( | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dit82v/my_boyfriend_bought_me_a_puppy_to_help_me_with_my/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-16T18:06:33.000Z | dit6z8 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Productively using your assault anniversary | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dit6z8/productively_using_your_assault_anniversary/ |
[deleted] | And my life has never been the same. | 2019-10-16T17:56:36.000Z | dit1mb | 71 | 307 | ptsd | You ever just get your intrusive thoughts and at the end of it all think, “man, I’ve been through some shit” | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dit1mb/you_ever_just_get_your_intrusive_thoughts_and_at/ |
ImmaBadW0lf | Warning: I do talk about my trauma.
Trigger Warning: House fire, alcoholism, spousal abuse, childhood trauma, death.
6 months ago my childhood home burned down. The fire took the life of my step father, and my Grandpa, my mother made it out with the clothes on her back, nothing else survived. Everything is gone. My Grandpa raised his family in that home, my parents raised us in that home, and all the grand babies were growing up with it as a second home. We were there weekly for dinner or sleepovers. We were there for every holiday and birthday, It was home. It would always be home.
Everyone is some how functioning better than me. Even my own mother, who lost more than everyone. She’s lost everything. Everything... Life kept going for everyone. My oldest brother got married, my second oldest brother moved out of State for a new job, my mom got a new job... And I haven’t left my bed in 6 months. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel like something broke...
I know this is going to sound crazy... But I think I suffered trauma in 1999 when my father had an affair, and our once happy home turned into an inferno. I feel like I’m 8 years old again... In my head I’m always in the house, but just in 1998, before the affair. Does that make sense? Of course it doesn’t, I’m a crazy person!!!! I can see every room when I close my eyes, exactly as it was, even down to the exact nicknacks on the dressers. I even feel little, and all of a sudden being an adult has become daunting, insane and terrifying.
My parents stayed together for the kids... What a nightmare. They made War of the Roses look like The Notebook. They both turned heavily to alcohol and my brothers and I would be up all night listening to them yell, waiting for one of two things to happen A. My dad physically shutting my mother up with his fist... or B. The sound of my dads pickup peeling out of the driveway.
Eleven whopping years later... They finally divorced. It took a few years, but my mom quit drinking, met an amazing guy, and the house... The house was the way it used to be, so many years ago. It was happy again. I walked in and knew I’d be entering to my mothers smiling face, and dinner on the stove. I knew if my mother was in a bad mood, her new husband would just roll his eyes, laugh, kiss her forehead and go upstairs until she relaxed and said sorry, which she always did. My son slept there almost every Saturday and we got to see Grandpa, the most incredible, gentle, peaceful man that the world has ever known. That was home, no matter how far away we roamed. I finally felt those bad years melting away.
The night of the fire was the worst night of my life. I answered the phone to my mother screaming at the top of her lungs “THEYRE DEAD! THEYRE DEAD! THEY’RE ALL DEAD! YOUR GRANDPA AND BRIAN ARE DEAD! THE HOUSE IS GONE!” I collapsed. I don’t blame my mother for that, she was in shock, she was terrified, but I called the rest of my family, so they weren’t told in that way. My husband was at the house 10 minutes later, I was there 30 minutes later, after finding someone to watch my son. I saw the black charred skeleton of my home, and spent the next three nights in the hospital holding my Grandpas hand, praying for him to survive, and had to have my husband gently pry my hands away, so the hospital could take him away. And then the next three days, I sat alone in my living room, putting together collage after collage after collage of his life for the funeral. 7 days I went with no sleep.
What is happening to me? I don’t even know who I am anymore. I can’t talk to anybody, I’m terrified all the time, I’m angry all the time and can be so mean, I’m scared all the time. My husbands just taken over everything. I don’t do anything. I’m barely getting by at work. I’m a ghost! But in my head.... I’m 8 years old, in the house. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m not 8, I don’t want to be 8, I don’t think that I’m 8, and I don’t want to stay 8! I just feel like my soul and my thoughts are being filtered through 29 year old me, and 8 year old me. Does that make sense? Sigh... I’m insane...
I’ve never taken a drug in my life and I’ve started self medicating with edibles and sleeping pills. The edibles relax me and prevent me from dreaming and the sleeping pills, put me to sleep. I had night terrors none stop until I found out marijuana can take away dreaming. Trying pot for the first time was fun though... Probably shouldn’t have done it for the first time at my sons schools ice cream social... But it got me out of the house and talking to people for the first time in months and I had a great time!!! (SMH).
I experienced a flashback. I always thought those kinds of things were exaggerated in movies and different media. Nope... My husband burnt dinner one night and it set of the fire alarm and I could smell smoke... all of a sudden I was there.... I was running down the street away from police officers, paramedics chasing me, and collapsing in my front yard and not being able to get up, they threatened to take me away in an ambulance, my husband had to lift me, and I remember my legs feeling like giant bags of sand, I could barely walk, they were stinging and on fire and so heavy. But I was actually just laying in my bed... Terrified, unable to speak, unable to scream, unable to breath, I was shaking from head to toe, and after what seemed like ages, I was finally able to stand and I collapsed because my legs felt the way they did that day.
I was finally diagnosed two days ago. I feel such relief.... But I also feel so many other things. I feel weak and ashamed, Grandpa was so strong, he survived the Great Depression and the Korean War! My mom deserves to never leave bed again as far as I’m concerned, and she’s traveling, surrounding herself with friends and family, and finally got a job! I’m a suburban house wife, with an amazing husband, a beautiful son and home, who only works part time. I’m not a soldier! A police officer! A first responder! A victim of a horrific crime! I don’t feel like I’ve “earned” the right to say I have PTSD. Imagine me at a PTSD meeting?! Sheesh. Swapping war stories, and I’m swapping recipes.
I don’t know... This is all so new to me and there’s no conclusion. I don’t even really know what I’m asking. Maybe for someone to just tell me what I’m feeling is real? I don’t know... But If you’re still reading this... God bless you. I just needed to put my thoughts out there. Maybe someone else has had a similar experience or feels a similar way? Either way... Thanks for being a place for me to vent and not be alone. | 2019-10-16T17:07:45.000Z | disbte | 1 | 6 | ptsd | Reopening suppressed trauma? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/disbte/reopening_suppressed_trauma/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-16T17:01:50.000Z | dis8it | 3 | 1 | ptsd | Do I have PTSD? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dis8it/do_i_have_ptsd/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-16T11:42:44.000Z | dio3w8 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Letting go of anger | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dio3w8/letting_go_of_anger/ |
osteopilusocellatus | in my childhood i had a traumatic experience where i was restrained and violated. (i won’t go further into detail but i have spoken out and gotten professional help.) i have what i can only think to call flashbacks, where i re-experience the entire event. sometimes this includes smells, voices, tastes, but mostly just feeling all the physical feelings again. is there any way i can help myself deal with this?? the majority of it i’ve learned to cope with but the physical memory of it is absolutely overwhelming. it’s like, logically i know nothing is happening but in every other way it’s like i’m back in that situation, going through everything all over again.
•
tl;dr: any advice for easing flashbacks where one re-experiences physical feelings?
•
(i’m sorry if this sounds kind of unemotional or anything, i’m just trying to not relive to much of it alone) | 2019-10-16T08:16:06.000Z | dim7zx | 2 | 4 | ptsd | advice regarding flashback type happenings? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dim7zx/advice_regarding_flashback_type_happenings/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2019-10-16T07:36:28.000Z | dilwa8 | 0 | 0 | ptsd | Bruh, I had a severe PTSD for 10 years and I overcame it and I didn't know what it was until yesterday | 0.13 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dilwa8/bruh_i_had_a_severe_ptsd_for_10_years_and_i/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-16T07:21:02.000Z | dilrez | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Feeling lost. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dilrez/feeling_lost/ |
filthycig | hi so yesterday i was hit by a car while on my way to work, i immediately told the driver to take me home and ever since then i have been shaking violently, indoors, not able to move my upper right leg and lower back much ( thats what was hit on impact) and ive had alot of flashbacks to the moment and i cant seem to stop. i didnt go to the hospital because it wasnt that bad and honestly im terrified of hospitals. but i dont know what to do, ive been absolutely miserable and barely talking to anyone except my gf. i dont know how to cope with what happened. beforehand, i did have twitches/ticks associated with my learning disability, but now i keep flinching on my right side even when nothing comes close. i dont know whats wrong with me but im fucking terrified of going outside, let alone out of my room. what should i do to help myself heal from this? | 2019-10-16T06:37:53.000Z | dild7p | 1 | 1 | ptsd | TW CAR ACCIDENT. i need advice. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dild7p/tw_car_accident_i_need_advice/ |
[deleted] | last month my sister (35) had a panic attack, so she went to 2 psychologists. and they diagnosed her with ptsd. they brought childhood memories to the forefront an made them more stressful. they suggested a 14,000 dollar treatment program.
Since getting a diagnosis and having the memories brought up my sister, who has decided she cant go to work anymore. and is on the verge of losing a well paying career with the federal government. And because myself sister has no savings, her psychological problems are on the verge of causing her real life survival problems.
I guess my question is, how did you deal with your condition while still dealing with the critical work/life issues? how can I suggest she chill out? tell her that she needs to meeting her daily survival needs while pursuing treatment? I dont want to downplay her condition but she has happily thrived with her upbringing until now. she should be able to keep it together and take nursing her mental health one day at a time right? | 2019-10-16T06:13:35.000Z | dil57j | 5 | 3 | ptsd | how do you deal with work/life responsibilities while having anxiety? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dil57j/how_do_you_deal_with_worklife_responsibilities/ |
spencerpng | I know it sounds ridiculous and cliche but literally what is the point of prolonging my suffering? I’m never going to get totally better and this is a miserable way to live. The worst part is that I love being alive. I love life and I love people and my friends and family and I love the world. I have so much I want to do. But I don’t see the point in staying around for all of it if I’m still going to have nightmares and flashbacks and feel so guilty and shameful and disgusting every second of my life. There is no escape in waking or sleeping. I am in this hell of my own making for as long as I can see, and I want out. I’m exhausted and so, so sad. | 2019-10-16T05:04:09.000Z | dikgtt | 3 | 8 | ptsd | What’s the point? | 0.8 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dikgtt/whats_the_point/ |
simplylib | Hi. I just joined this community because I was feeling alone in my mental struggle.
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD but I feel extremely guilty saying I have it. Mainly, because when I read the things most people who have PTSD have gone through, I feel like I don’t deserve to have it. You are all so strong and amazing and I don’t think I could have survived or functioned through even half of the stuff you guys have.
The reason I have PTSD is because I experienced loss and change and ups and downs very quickly and simultaneously all at once and I think the whiplash is getting me. But, mostly, I was in a very toxic job and I had two bosses that just sucked the life out of me. They teased me for having anxiety and tried to ruin my chances of ever being hired anywhere else. They were controlling and condescending and two faced and I got to a point where I could barely walk in the work building without thinking I was having a heart attack.
I’m finally out of that job and on to better things, but the PTSD still gets me. I still get really really angry out of nowhere. I cry uncontrollably for what feels like no reason. I remember all the things that were said to me by my previous bosses and I swear it feels like I’m reliving it all over again. I can’t make it go away.
I’m sorry I’m posting this. I feel weak and dumb for saying it on a forum where, like I said, so many people have it a million times worse. I feel pathetic that just a little job situation has given me diagnosed PTSD ... and I haven’t been in war or gone through abuse ... like how can I even have the right to say that??? I wish I was stronger mentally. I wish I wasn’t frail and scared and pathetic ... and I wish my body and mind didn’t see all this as traumatic to me. I’m mad tonight ... and I feel like my mental progress is like taking 5 steps forward and 7 steps back. And I don’t know ... I’m just inspired by so many of you sharing your experiences. Thank you for this forum and I’m sorry that I hardly have any right to be in it. | 2019-10-16T03:51:31.000Z | dijp4w | 1 | 5 | ptsd | Guilt for Having PTSD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dijp4w/guilt_for_having_ptsd/ |
deffzombie | What does an inpatient situation look like for PTSD? Any personal stories or advice? How did you know you were ready, or when did you realize you didn't need to go in? What signs are there that indicate it's time to go to a hospital?
I am thinking of inpatient, but I think that if I go they will just dismiss me (it's not like I am ready to kill myself right this very second, no fun in hand for example) I am afraid there won't be room for someone on the verge, but I don't want to wait until I'm past the brink. Any advice for this process or experience? | 2019-10-16T03:12:57.000Z | dij8ur | 0 | 3 | ptsd | Hospitalization experiences? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dij8ur/hospitalization_experiences/ |
almojoye | every day i miss it. i miss sitting in the truck, lil peep in the background as we sat in the line to pull into school, then at the end of the day, drive back to his house and begrudgingly shuffle into the basement for the same old sex i didnt want, but was too afraid to say anything about. i miss the routine, the same old shit every day.
now its different.
now im fucked: i can barely talk about sex without getting flustered and awkward, or i just spill everything and then feel like an idiot for making people uncomfortable. i can barely look at a certain childrens toy, or brand of pregnancy test, or look at lil peep or listen to him or look at old white trucks and im ruined. im ruined, completely and utterly. and i hate it. | 2019-10-16T02:44:07.000Z | diiwd7 | 0 | 2 | ptsd | (tw: r/pe, abuse) routine & change: a vent | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diiwd7/tw_rpe_abuse_routine_change_a_vent/ |
idagotten | Some background information. He (32 m) and I (31 f) have been together almost 18 years now. We moved to our current location after I accepted a job position about two years ago, and he had his little brother move down about four months after that. We all got really close. Flash forward to October 2018.
He and his brother work out of town, on the morning of the incident his little brother was killed right in front of him for absolutely no reason, seriously, no reason. He blames himself, has been in and out of rehab centers (he uses illicit drugs, and most recently, alcohol) to numb himself and avoid reality. Our family lives about 14 hours from us, so really it’s just him and me.
Please understand I am not trying to portray myself as a victim. I just honestly don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to face what happened and work through the trauma, he just tries numbing it. Everything gets taken out on me. I listen, boy do I listen, to every detail of what happened that morning. I understand it is good for him to get it out, but I am not a licensed therapist. He refuses to see a professional. Lately, his drinking has increased so much he drinks straight liquor like it’s water and I become his verbal punching bag. He blacks out every night not remembering what he said/did. It’s getting to be a lot.
I know this isn’t him, that it’s his PTSD. I don’t want this to be the end of our relationship, but in all honesty, I’m at such a loss. It’s a lot on my shoulders to take care of everything that isn’t related to him and his PTSD and then adding that on top of my regular responsibilities. I have no support from his family, it’s kind of like an out of sight out of mind ordeal.
Honestly, at this point, I’m just looking for some help or guidance. Like I said, I don’t want the relationship to end, and his brother wouldn’t want his death to result in the either. But there is only so much I can do to help him without him getting the actual help he needs, professional help. What am I doing wrong? Are there things I could be doing different? Is it selfish to want to put “me” first in my own life?
Sorry for the rambling. I start therapy for myself next week but it’s been a pretty rough week so far, I figured I’d try reddit as one of my last resorts.
Thanks all. | 2019-10-16T02:24:01.000Z | diinnt | 11 | 5 | ptsd | Significant other of 17.5 years has been diagnosed with PTSD for a year now due to traumatic event (he’s a civilian). I’m at a loss. | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diinnt/significant_other_of_175_years_has_been_diagnosed/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-16T02:18:53.000Z | diil8t | 1 | 5 | ptsd | Overcoming fear of yelling | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diil8t/overcoming_fear_of_yelling/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-16T02:07:08.000Z | diig15 | 4 | 2 | ptsd | Anyone else feel like a failure sometimes? | 0.76 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diig15/anyone_else_feel_like_a_failure_sometimes/ |
cfbuzzkill90 | Does anyone else get really bothered when their SO is upset with them? I get upset when anyone is mad at me. But when my husband is mad at me it's the worst. He's my best friend, and my support system. And when he's mad at me I just feel like the world is collapsing. I want to die. I want to give up. I feel so alone. | 2019-10-16T00:40:15.000Z | dihdck | 14 | 24 | ptsd | Everytime he's mad at me I want to die | 0.97 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dihdck/everytime_hes_mad_at_me_i_want_to_die/ |
rrrhao | Hi there I am very new to reddit.
about 2 years ago I was in a car accident where I totaled my car in a remote area out of state (I was at fault) and had to get back home, and then drove back to the area I crashed to salvage the car. been having PTSD symptoms since then. My PTSD and depression symptoms worsened after a failed relationship with someone I loved, and 2 other minor car accidents and a speeding ticket, to a degree where I would have flashbacks several times a day, spending every day distracted and stressed, and started contemplating suicide. But thankfully I started therapy (with the last straw being the flashbacks triggered by materials in driver education course I took to dismiss the ticket), with some CPT, EMDR, and very mild meds, I got significantly better, and I started a relationship with someone who loves me while I was on therapy.
But recently during a road trip, it felt like the symptoms starts to worsen again, started to have nightmares related to crash again, and was stressed out on the road so other people had to do most of the driving. Small things upset me quickly and I blamed myself for being stupid and arrogant even after very small mistakes. Since I was sexually assaulted 3 years ago by my manipulative ex (which doesn't bother me a lot of the time but it would get bad when I was with someone I am dating), I have retreated several times when attempted to make out with my current boyfriend, and one night there was a brief moment, the flashback was so bad that I thought he was my ex, so I froze then cried.
I am afraid that things could get worse so I am thinking about restarting therapy again. But I also feel that CPT and EMDR don't really work very well on me and I credit most of my healing to meeting someone who loves me, opening up to more people, and getting better sleep through meds.
Any thoughts and suggestions? | 2019-10-16T00:01:55.000Z | digwbx | 1 | 0 | ptsd | Do I still need therapy? | 0.5 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/digwbx/do_i_still_need_therapy/ |
michaelad567 | It's [https://www.doesthedogdie.com/](https://www.doesthedogdie.com/) | 2019-10-15T23:18:41.000Z | digbjo | 21 | 182 | ptsd | This website will tell you if a movie or tv show has your triggers in it. | 0.99 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/digbjo/this_website_will_tell_you_if_a_movie_or_tv_show/ |
ChildhoodTraumaStudy | [removed] | 2019-10-15T22:17:26.000Z | difhng | 0 | 3 | ptsd | I'm in grad school and working on a thesis project on PTSD resulting from childhood trauma- here's a short survey where you can help contribute to treatment research! | 0.81 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/difhng/im_in_grad_school_and_working_on_a_thesis_project/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T21:06:38.000Z | diegzu | 13 | 12 | ptsd | Has anyone seen Joker? | 0.89 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diegzu/has_anyone_seen_joker/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T20:09:01.000Z | didlpi | 1 | 2 | ptsd | Life sucks right now. TW: negative rant. Don’t read if you aren’t in a good headspace | 0.76 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/didlpi/life_sucks_right_now_tw_negative_rant_dont_read/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T19:59:07.000Z | didg7u | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Need some advice | 0.76 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/didg7u/need_some_advice/ |
[deleted] | Hi yall,
My ptsd stems from relationship trauma. Recently i deleted all my social media to kind of get away from people, do yall think that's healthy or an avoidance behavior cus rn my mind can't decide | 2019-10-15T19:48:24.000Z | didadt | 3 | 7 | ptsd | Isolation/avoidance behaviors? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/didadt/isolationavoidance_behaviors/ |
OL_TEAM | Some how, with help I have been solid, even when I think of the guy I'm doing great. Well...
This morning I was woken up by car doors being slammed shut and screaming from my neighbor / landlord,
I woke up prepared for anything, the sudden wake up was rough, but I realized I was just them and chilled out and went back to bed.
My landlord is a guy that thinks he's king of all. And always asks me if I smoke in my place. I don't... that's building more and more.
I've had weird dreams about my landlord, but I don't know if I should vent my dreams I have here. Or another reddit page to understand how dreams work.
Overall I'm doing great, but needed a vent today because the way I was woken up.
To this day I will always thank sock whom is on this page, and has changed my entire life.
Thank you sock. | 2019-10-15T19:35:57.000Z | did3mn | 0 | 3 | ptsd | I have overcome the person, I don't care about him, I have been good for weeks. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/did3mn/i_have_overcome_the_person_i_dont_care_about_him/ |
Blight_Father | Have you ever cheated death? If so when and how? Full stories. | 2019-10-15T18:53:43.000Z | dicgyo | 2 | 1 | ptsd | Cheaters | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dicgyo/cheaters/ |
[deleted] | I was just wondering if there is anything I can do to get through this and to stop having it affect my emotions and mental state 24/7. Both of my parents were really emotionally abusive but my dad tried to murder me when I was 8. He thought I "asked a question too loud" so he came up behind me, slapped his right hand over my mouth, put his left hand behind my head, picked me up two feet off the ground and shook me! I was standing in front of a mirror as he did this so I saw it all happen and my mom was standing right next to us the entire time but she did not say or do anything. No one ever spoke about this after it happened, though I wish I had talked to the school counselor about it at the time.
Fast forward 20 years.. I am angry and depressed all the time, cannot find pleasure in anything, have sleep issues and an inability to concentrate on anything. I have intrusive thoughts about death and suicide and cannot move past my grief over loved ones who have passed. I just have so much rage towards all humans that I feel like my chest is going to explode with anger. I never want to have children because it would bring back the trauma of my childhood and my relationship with my parents.
Has anyone else gotten past this type of trauma? | 2019-10-15T18:49:10.000Z | diceny | 5 | 3 | ptsd | My father tried to strangle me 20 years ago? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/diceny/my_father_tried_to_strangle_me_20_years_ago/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T18:05:16.000Z | dibrr8 | 12 | 22 | ptsd | Avoiding necessary doctor’s visit. Can’t stop crying. | 0.93 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dibrr8/avoiding_necessary_doctors_visit_cant_stop_crying/ |
journey1992 | I’ve realized my parents were torturing and trying to kill me
I feel so much sadness realizing my parents tortured me and tried to kill me. I was tortured, scapegoated, gaslighted, sexually abused, physically abused, deprived and neglected. They didn’t care how they were affecting me as long as their needs were being met. My dad was getting his sexual needs met through covertly sexually abusing me. My mom wanted me to suffer because she blamed me for the sexual abuse and was jealous. The only way I got my needs met was sexualizing myself to my dad.
Recently, I have been thinking about the punishments I was given by my parents. I received solitary confinement for many years where I was grounded and stuck in my room with no privileges. It makes me sick and so sad this happened to me. I’ve read about how terrible solitary confinement is for prisoners’ mental health and I empathize with them so much. No wonder I was mentally unstable with PTSD, poor social skills, and developmentally arrested (peed in my bed and played with barbies until I was 16). My dad used to criticize me saying I was so immature. Wow, it was because of him I was developmentally behind. He kept me in the house all of the time with the abuse with no outlet or friends.
It is very scary to witness a narcissist. They can keep hurting you without any care. They do not have empathy. They do not feel others’ pain.
I am so happy I finally saw reality for what it was and got out forever. Memories like this remind me why I could never go back to my abusers and the people who supported the abusers (siblings and relatives).
I will NOT be a scapegoat again. I will choose community that chooses me NOT tolerate and abuse me. I am proud of myself for working hard to remove the toxic people and messages from my life. I am so glad to be out of the fog. The hard part is done now I’ve just got to continue healing my PTSD and build new healthy relationships.
I’m processing all the pain of the punishments I went through, I’ve been hit with sadness and a feeling of revenge.
Anyone relate? | 2019-10-15T17:44:10.000Z | dibghh | 7 | 22 | ptsd | I’ve realized my parents were torturing and trying to kill me | 0.92 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dibghh/ive_realized_my_parents_were_torturing_and_trying/ |
shantamichelle | I’ve tried Celexa, Wellbutrin, and Zoloft with no luck due to how hard I was hit by the side effects. I was told that since I’ve had three failed attempts, my insurance would cover a DNA test to see which meds I’m most compatible with but I needed something in the meantime. Yesterday, in a bit of a funk, I went to my local head shop and bought a new vape and a bottle of 1200mg CBD juice, and- HOLY SHIT- the difference! This has changed everything in less than 24 hours and I am so humbled and grateful at the peace I’m finally getting. 🙌🏼 | 2019-10-15T13:58:31.000Z | di8ali | 38 | 83 | ptsd | I finally found some relief... | 0.97 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di8ali/i_finally_found_some_relief/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T11:29:53.000Z | di6jza | 4 | 12 | ptsd | I’m so drunk I can barely see straight, and my grnadparents are coming in three hours. I haven’t slept and I need help | 0.94 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di6jza/im_so_drunk_i_can_barely_see_straight_and_my/ |
dglazier17 | Hi everyone. I’m new to reddit and online help in general so if this post doesn’t belong feel free to remove it no hard feelings. I just wana vent about my least favorite part about living with ptsd that I really hate about myself is my reactions to things or how hyperactive you can be. I hurt my best friend yesterday not realizing there wasn’t any danger. We were playing cards and he reached for the deck really quick by me and I just had so much fear remembering what happened to me and I just started punching. I’ve felt so guilty ever since. It makes me feel like a shitty person that I can’t control myself playing a card game with my friends without freaking out. | 2019-10-15T10:01:29.000Z | di5opd | 1 | 1 | ptsd | New here | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di5opd/new_here/ |
SubstantialCycle7 | It's so embarrassing. I always feel like an idiot but I also can't breath and need to escape now. Just wish I could go home but I've got to go to work. | 2019-10-15T07:47:41.000Z | di4hs3 | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Gotta love a panic attack on the train | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di4hs3/gotta_love_a_panic_attack_on_the_train/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T07:21:53.000Z | di49ec | 0 | 0 | ptsd | I've seen my death | 0.5 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di49ec/ive_seen_my_death/ |
[deleted] | experiencing it rn and hating it! i don't need more crap muddying up my recovery process. it's already like "okay, yes, i'm very distracted this week but i have no idea if that's PTSD-related or just normal ADHD stuff" and now it's "i'm extremely sad and tired all the time but i don't know if *that's* PTSD or if it's just that it's kind of dark outside". like shit, don't i have enough going on without seasons happening?
i'm very used to the anxiety side of PTSD but i've totally forgotten how to deal with the depressive side. i bought one of those lights that i'm hoping will help and have started taking a vitamin D supplement, but there's the big negative depression part of my brain woken up from its hibernation to go "but what if this isn't seasonal affective disorder, what if you're just having a depression relapse and you're going to feel like this all the time and you'll go into psychosis again and etc etc" because not only do i have PTSD about life stuff but i have PTSD about the psychological effects of when i had untreated PTSD so it's a huge ouroboros of bad moods like fuck right *off*, i'm tryna recover here, for fuck's sake | 2019-10-15T06:13:07.000Z | di3mxd | 2 | 6 | ptsd | PTSD and SAD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di3mxd/ptsd_and_sad/ |
gmailsbtr | So I just found out an old military buddy has been diagnosed with ptsd and a myriad of other disorders possibly including TBI. He’s been messaging me some really dark stuff, he wants to hurt other people/himself, hates everyone. I’m trying to be supportive without being patronizing and humorous without being aloof.
What can I do/say to help him? We’re on opposite sides of the country so I can’t see him in person. I don’t want to call the police on him if he just needs to talk but I am becoming concerned for people around him. | 2019-10-15T04:48:27.000Z | di2txg | 4 | 4 | ptsd | Need advice on helping a friend with PTSD. | 0.84 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di2txg/need_advice_on_helping_a_friend_with_ptsd/ |
albanicole | I’m new here and i just don’t know where else to go. My flashbacks are becoming a daily thing and I haven’t told anyone about what happened to me so it’s not like my parents could help or understand when I cannot physically go to school or cry uncontrollably it’s getting to the point where my medication isn’t working and I don’t know how to make them stop I can’t even insert a menstrual cup without freaking out I hate myself for being weak I don’t know what to do. I’m just hoping for tips and also just to rant. (Sorry if it doesn’t make sense this is hard). | 2019-10-15T03:21:27.000Z | di1vnv | 0 | 3 | ptsd | Flashbacks | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di1vnv/flashbacks/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T02:53:23.000Z | di1k0l | 1 | 18 | ptsd | Two therapists and four years post diagnosis | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di1k0l/two_therapists_and_four_years_post_diagnosis/ |
journey1992 |
Any other Child Sexual Abuse survivors feel guilt and shame for when being sensual and sexual?
I (28/F) can express sexuality similar to Marilyn Monroe where she acts sexy and childlike at the same time. I think it is because I was abused as a child just like her where my child part of me is dissociated. Or I wonder if it’s mainly because of my ENFP/bubbly/flirty personality. For example, I’ve noticed when I really appreciate what someone says or am enjoying good food, without realizing it, I’ll make passionate and sensual body movements and sex noises while saying mmhm and mmm. I have begun to notice I’ll sometimes adjust my energy/flirting with a man in a way that appeals to him as a way of people pleasing in order to get what I want, feel safe, or to survive from their anger. I learned as a young girl how to change myself to appeal to my abusers in order to survive and get what I want. I still have a core belief inside that the only way a man is going to care about me or being nice is he finds me attractive or if I flatter him by flirting.
Now that I’m an adult, I still have this issue of “flirting on accident” when I’m with men. And then I close off and hide my personality because I get scared they might start liking me and that I’ll get abused. I feel shame like it was my fault I attracted men’s sexual attention. I have been sexualized my whole life and so then when I behave in a sexual way, I think it’s my fault for attracting sexual harassment.
Anyone else relate? | 2019-10-15T02:33:52.000Z | di1bvg | 23 | 81 | ptsd | Any other Child Sexual Abuse survivors feel guilt and shame for when being sensual and sexual? | 0.98 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di1bvg/any_other_child_sexual_abuse_survivors_feel_guilt/ |
natnaat13 | I am looking into getting a medical marijuana card. I feel like it would help me with not only my PTSD, but also ADHD/ADD, anxiety, depression, TMJ, back pain, and Hoshimotos disease. ... I actually know it will help because I used Marijuana recreationally for a long time illegally. Don't pass judgement my way until you do your research. I have already been on many medications for all of these issues. They all caused bad reactions for me. I am now against pharmaceuticals. Have any of you tried Medical for your PTSD? What type of prescription do you get and how exactly does it work in FL? | 2019-10-15T01:50:33.000Z | di0t53 | 6 | 3 | ptsd | Medical Marijuana for relief | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di0t53/medical_marijuana_for_relief/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T01:30:55.000Z | di0l11 | 2 | 5 | ptsd | Issues with PTSD regarding death | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di0l11/issues_with_ptsd_regarding_death/ |
[deleted] | I want to not feel numb, I want to be able to cry. I want to feel like everything is as fun and amazing and beautiful before this all happened. I need to know there's another side to this, and that with therapy it will get better and I will get back to my life, because I'm 2-3 sessions in to cbt and I feel overwhelmed and scared. | 2019-10-15T01:10:40.000Z | di0chd | 5 | 8 | ptsd | I want my emotions back | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di0chd/i_want_my_emotions_back/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-15T00:54:36.000Z | di05il | 12 | 9 | ptsd | Husband with PTSD walked out | 0.76 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/di05il/husband_with_ptsd_walked_out/ |
AbsolutelyStupidGirl | I am a victim of sexual abuse for years at an early age, and I cannot stop forcing myself to relive it. I trace my fingers where I know I was touched, lay in the position I was in and think about it, or just simply sit in class and probe at it mentally. I feel like nobody else does this with their trauma? Does anyone else here do that? It's like poking a bruise or picking a scab so that it never heals.
Also, if you saw a similar post from about four days ago that is now deleted, it was me again, one of my friends discovered my account and so I deleted it before she could see. Sorry! I barely got to even read the replies. | 2019-10-15T00:29:44.000Z | dhzv4k | 2 | 6 | ptsd | Emotional Self Harm (sexual abuse) | 0.81 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhzv4k/emotional_self_harm_sexual_abuse/ |
[deleted] | There is an online site for MDMA-assisted Psychotherapy for Phase 3 trials. It may be worth checking out, if nothing else has helped out.
**MDMA -assisted Psychotherapy FDA Application**: [https://mdmaptsd.org/](https://mdmaptsd.org/)
They give 21 sessions of psychotherapy. Three sessions include MDMA. It's used to help psychotherapy, instead of numbing the pain. The benefits improved long after the sessions ended, according to a story in NPR.
[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/14/746614170/mdma-aka-ecstasy-shows-promise-as-a-ptsd-treatment](https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/14/746614170/mdma-aka-ecstasy-shows-promise-as-a-ptsd-treatment)
>After the Phase 2 trials of MDMA-assisted treatments concluded in 2017, researchers found 54% of the patients who took MDMA had improved to the point that they[ no longer fit](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00213-019-05249-5) the diagnosis for PTSD (compared to 23% in the control group). In addition, the beneficial effects of the treatment appeared to increase, rather than wane, over time. **A year later, the number who no longer had PTSD had risen to 68% percent.**
You must live in the same state as the treatment facilities to qualify. You need to have tried and failed to get any results from at least 2 prior medications.
**Locations**
**Los Angeles, California, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Active, not recruiting**
**San Francisco, California, United States** **| Research Institution**
**—Recruiting**
**San Francisco, California, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**Boulder, Colorado, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**Fort Collins, Colorado, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**New Orleans, Louisiana, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**New York, New York, United States** **| Research Institution**
**—Recruiting**
**New York, New York, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**Charleston, South Carolina, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**Madison, Wisconsin, United States** **| Research Institution**
**—Recruiting**
**Boston, Massachusetts, United States** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**Montreal, Québec, Canada** **| Private Practice**
**—Recruiting**
**Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada** **| Research Institution**
**—Recruiting** | 2019-10-15T00:00:29.000Z | dhzhzu | 5 | 34 | ptsd | MDMA-assisted Psychotherapy for PTSD - FDA Phase 3 Online Application | 0.98 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhzhzu/mdmaassisted_psychotherapy_for_ptsd_fda_phase_3/ |
[deleted] | Hi y’all! Much like the title states, this is about melatonin and nightmares. I’ve been taking ~6-9mg of melatonin for the last couple of nights to get to sleep, because without it I end up awake until around 4-5am most nights. I’ve been having EXTREMELY vivid nightmares after taking it, even though the sleep itself is usually semi-restful (physically, at least).
Do any of you have an issue similar to this? I’ve also been on Zoloft and had issues with nightmares. Any recommendations for getting to sleep?
Thank you! | 2019-10-14T23:56:06.000Z | dhzfy3 | 7 | 3 | ptsd | Melatonin and Nightmares | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhzfy3/melatonin_and_nightmares/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-14T22:37:59.000Z | dhye7r | 0 | 2 | ptsd | PTSD anonymous/advise on how to relax | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhye7r/ptsd_anonymousadvise_on_how_to_relax/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-14T22:28:23.000Z | dhy9lf | 1 | 9 | ptsd | Starting to feel like I can manage functioning during bad episodes, not buying into how different this makes my life rabbit hole and just getting better at surviving without alcohol. All in all this disorder sucks so bad. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhy9lf/starting_to_feel_like_i_can_manage_functioning/ |
throwaway_rel_issuez | Hi all, so I have been seeing a therapist/counselor, a few different ones, for the last 4 months or so. It started with marriage counseling and then individual after my wife of 8 years revealed she had been having an affair for almost a year.
Before my counseling, I was pretty sure I had anxiety but never saw anyone for it until recently. I’d have obsessive thinking, periods of great sadness, and bad fatigue.
I am ex-military and asked my therapist to fill out a form for a VA claim for what I thought would just be anxiety, and she said she definitely thinks I also have PTSD. I am a bit confused, and I’m sorry if I sound ignorant, but I thought that was mostly only a diagnosis for veterans who saw combat or had some other violent experience.
Here are my traumatic events I could think of, besides childhood issues. I am wondering if these could contribute to PTSD. Before today I admittedly didn’t think so.
- Joined military at 18 years old (9 years ago) and was hazed and bullied almost daily at job as Air Traffic Controller for two years, job was also stressful to include a few close calls. Had high blood pressure , headaches and nightmares during this time.
- was deployed to Turkey for a few months a few years ago. Non-combat but worked on the flightline.
- 1 year ago my Wife fell asleep driving and car flipped over near our house into ditch. She called me at 3am hysterically and I went and picked her up from the scene and returned to deal with police and first responders, and then went to the hospital.
- my wife revealed to me that she had cheated on me and was in an affair for 8 months.
After the cheating I have had trouble with depression, anxiety, catastrophic and obsessive thinking, etc. Before that, it seems my mentality and mental health dropped significantly after joining the military and especially with the Air Traffic Control situation.
Anyways, I just wanted to get some perspective from folks who may have gone through similar thoughts on their initial diagnosis. Want to understand what is going on. Thanks | 2019-10-14T22:09:07.000Z | dhxzxi | 2 | 5 | ptsd | Just diagnosed, a bit confused | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhxzxi/just_diagnosed_a_bit_confused/ |
Drunken_Cossacks | I've been rewatching *The West Wing* recently, early into season 4 but i keep re-thinking about that episode-long conversation between Josh Lyman and the psychotherapist. From current conversation to the last few days back to current conversation, to Josh's injured hand, to "the event"....
And as the episode was coming to an end i was heavily shaking. I had to put on pause and get up. I couldn't think straight, i was pacing around for a few minutes,i wanted a drink so i served myself a glass of water. At one point Josh inadvertedly cuts his hand by putting a glass down too violently while reliving his trauma. I didn't break mine but the scene flashed in my head while i put my glass down. "Wasn't i...wasn't he just reliving his trauma? Did it just triggered a reaction from me? Holy hell was this what some call panic attack? I just...had one?"
Those questions might seem strange for some of you, but i have no memories of my trauma. I was born prematurely, 2 months early,and my right lung tore itself at first breath. I was urgently put in intensive care where "skin-breaking" invasive medical procedures were done on me multiple times a day, for 2 months. I owe it my life, but back then we didn't know how traumatic all of this could be to a newborn. I was never given painkillers, only paralytics.
I don't have the memory flashbacks, nightmares or "conscious relivings", since we don't remember our birth (thankfully, good god). I only know about it because i figured it out/was told so 20+ years after event. Which means growing up, i couldn't make a difference between normal reactions and trauma reactions. What i thought was me being a turbulent 5 yrs old kid in a hospital was me having a PTSD "crisis", what i thought was me being a moody & sad 9-13 yrs old was me having a comorbid major depressive disorder.
What does all this have to do with *The West Wing*'s Noël episode? well on top of being a wonderful piece of television, it's an honest depiction of PTSD, where i learned that what i thought was younger me being on edge and shaking due to fatigue or whatever, was me having panic attacks.
Go watch it. | 2019-10-14T20:36:51.000Z | dhwnx9 | 0 | 15 | ptsd | [Personal Breakthrough/WARNING: Panic Attack] West Wing's "Noël" episode - S2E10 - is maybe the greatest mainstream TV-show "coverage" of PTSD. | 0.95 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhwnx9/personal_breakthroughwarning_panic_attack_west/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-14T17:40:10.000Z | dhu2br | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Getting arrested and being triggered ( long post) | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhu2br/getting_arrested_and_being_triggered_long_post/ |
Ihavebeenelucidated | Today at work I had another panic attack. I was afraid of another false accusation. I have gone through years of girls and women lying to get me in trouble. I am often afraid of it happening at both of my jobs. | 2019-10-14T16:37:00.000Z | dht4ro | 3 | 1 | ptsd | Trigger Warning Panic Attack Please Don't Judge | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dht4ro/trigger_warning_panic_attack_please_dont_judge/ |
Pheliont | Good morning. More or less the title. Today (and to an extent last night) I've just been deep in my head about everything that happened and cant seem to shake it/get out of my head. Even my medication isn't helping today. I just keep replaying what happened to me and how I feel so alone and scared and that I'll be alone dealing with it. | 2019-10-14T15:28:12.000Z | dhs58b | 3 | 3 | ptsd | A lot of being in my head today | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhs58b/a_lot_of_being_in_my_head_today/ |
goldn90s | Hello everyone !
I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this question but I hope you can help me.
when I was about 10/11, my older sister started bullying me to the point of depression, self harm., eds, suicidal tendencies, etc for about 6 years. my mom kicked her out a few years ago because of how much damage she was doing to our family.
now, she's apologised to me and I have forgiven her to the best of my ability but I've been noticing that I can't stand being around her. currently she's visiting and so we spend the days together and I find myself cringing at the sight/sound of her voice, when I'm cleaning up, I hate to put her stuff away, I give short answers to her questions and don't contribute to any conversations involving her, and I just need to stay away from her as much as possible.
it's not that I don't want to be around her, its that I can't bring myself to do it. she terrorised me so badly when I was younger and I had to put my guard so high up that I can't bring it down no matter how hard I try.
does anyone feel the same way ? and if so, how do you deal with it?
thank you :)
UPDATE: she found a job in our town and is moving home temporarily. worst news ever. | 2019-10-14T14:47:41.000Z | dhrkvj | 7 | 5 | ptsd | Can your bully give you ptsd? (graphic stuff kinda) | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhrkvj/can_your_bully_give_you_ptsd_graphic_stuff_kinda/ |
MrWhiteWasLate | Now that ive been interacting with people on a daily basis again for over 2 years. I find i tend to have more aggressive and more confronting emotional and gut reactions then the people around me.
This was once apropriate and beneficial and was for years of my life. but now is making things very difficult and hurting relationships. I need to tone it down and most of the therepy ive had has done nothing to help this in particular. | 2019-10-14T14:20:36.000Z | dhr808 | 1 | 5 | ptsd | Advice on adjusting my emotional reactions. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhr808/advice_on_adjusting_my_emotional_reactions/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-14T13:26:59.000Z | dhqjtk | 2 | 3 | ptsd | What even | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhqjtk/what_even/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-14T12:56:35.000Z | dhq6qk | 1 | 6 | ptsd | After being misdiagnosed for years, psychiatrist identified PTSD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhq6qk/after_being_misdiagnosed_for_years_psychiatrist/ |
rcnans | . | 2019-10-14T11:57:58.000Z | dhpizc | 1 | 3 | ptsd | (TW: sexual assault) How do I stop associating a physical sensation to someone? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhpizc/tw_sexual_assault_how_do_i_stop_associating_a/ |
throwaway182152019 | Hi I'm not sure if this is where I should post this. I hope that getting this out there will help me think more clearly about this any advice is appreciated.
My physiologist suggested that I may have PTSD but I am hesitant to let them look into it further as I was already miss diagnosed with OCD and feel a lot of my past "trauma" isn't valid or may never have happened. I have trouble telling what is real. Most of all I worry about how this would affect my relation ship with my parents as I am a teenager who still lives at home.
Just to clear things up I don't have major childhood trauma and I genuinely believe my family loves me.
I have always been sensitive a few years ago I saw someone die jumping into the harbour and as well as this my relationship with my family has caused me a lot of stress. I used to be very sensitive when I was under 8 and would react to most things that didn't go my way with a tantrum. My Parents reacted as expected with yelling a wack on the hand or just picking me up and caring me outside and locking the door so I could calm down. My mum was also fairly unpredictable and became angry easily and as eldest I was always blamed for anything happening to my siblings or anything they did. In her anger I was screamed at, mimicked, called one name over and over (Barracuda, wolf and flock of sheep were common) told to go leave and live with whoever she disliked at the time if I wasn't happy with this family. when I was 8 we sold our house and having grown up there and knowing all the hiding places where I felt safe I was fairly attached. So when we moved I became very homesick for a long time I can remember crying myself to sleep for the most part of 2 years and off and on till I stopped crying. I am aware that that this is all common stuff that as a kid I definitely overreacted to.
As I grew I started hearing about all of the family's problems from my mum. I ended up taking on the role of reassuring and comforting her, this quickly moved on to hearing about her own issues, drama within the extended family and my parents deteriorating relationship. I would let her speak and rant and try so she could get it all out and it was clearly helpful to her so I let her talk. At first I was to scared to say anything to her though it soon became clear she wanted me to agree or justify her so I did. As my parents relationship got worse and our financial stability all but disappeared I took on more and more. I soon realised as I matured that I needed to protect my siblings from this and therefore take more on. So I did and things kept getting more intense. I learnt how not to show "negative" emotions and lost my ability to cry. I am terrified of losing my control of what emotions I display.
This has somehow lead to me reliving random moments of stress from my childhood I'm just swept back there and it's like it's happening again. things like a article in the news paper about some teens getting injured when jumping into water, someone yelling, a smell or sound even just seeing a mother and daughter together. Most of the time I can't remember my childhood with my family the negative stuff is just blocked and I'm glad for that.
Take care and stay hydrated <3 | 2019-10-14T06:38:07.000Z | dhmqg6 | 0 | 3 | ptsd | [TW Childhood? and death] I'm unsure | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhmqg6/tw_childhood_and_death_im_unsure/ |
supersteph13 | Going to a psychologist on Tuesday. Never really talked about what happened to me because I always just feel like I’m about to (or actually do) have a panic attack. Even right now.
How do you bring this up when you aren’t ready to talk about it, but obviously you can’t get over it.
Saying the words out loud terrify me. Should I write it down. Do I wait? I’m so tired. Not sleeping. I have bulimia so I’m coping through that mostly but it’s not sustainable.
I’m scared. | 2019-10-14T05:59:28.000Z | dhme6j | 9 | 6 | ptsd | Going to therapy | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhme6j/going_to_therapy/ |
honey_graves | I’ve been struggling with sleep a lot the past 2 years.
I don’t have any actual trouble with falling or staying asleep but the second I actually start to drift off I can’t stop thinking about how vulnerable I am and how easy it’d be for someone to sneak up and kill me.
I don’t really know what to do anymore because it’s really effecting my sleep schedule and I just want to sleep.
And sorry for the formatting/grammar it’s late and I’m on mobile | 2019-10-14T05:56:25.000Z | dhmd8k | 0 | 4 | ptsd | Sleep troubles | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhmd8k/sleep_troubles/ |
leoshi_03 | I can't go an entire day with thinking about the man who molested me
I can't get these memories out of my head
I can mostly deal with them but its hard and I need some tips | 2019-10-14T05:21:41.000Z | dhm1vj | 2 | 4 | ptsd | How to deal with intrusive memories? (TW: CSA) | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhm1vj/how_to_deal_with_intrusive_memories_tw_csa/ |
[deleted] | Hi Everyone. I'm new to this reddit and just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a multi-trauma survivor (cancer and amputee at 12, intense traffic accident survivor at 18 that left me with three of my limbs receiving serious compound fractures.) Actually been through a lot more trauma than that but I think you get the picture LOL :)
I'm also a father of 3 beautiful intelligent children and a professional martial arts coach that lives in Tokyo currently and a humble student of life. I recently started a channel to share my experience of learning to live with and thrive after unexpected deadly surprises aka traumatic experiences LOL :)
My first video is a music video/highlight reel/ motivational speech using Eluid Kipchoge footage and Denzel's speech. I'll be posting regularly and my wish/vision to inspire but also share skills and thinking processes that will help us all heal and live happy healthy successful satisfying lives. Please contact me if you like I'd be more than happy to chat with you and help in anyway that I can. By the way that's me at the beginning of the video ;)
Wish you all the best and remember the truth is (even through we are force feed an opposing story) the truth is: "You are magic in action." One Love! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC6LlkHA-x0&feature=share](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC6LlkHA-x0&feature=share) | 2019-10-14T05:14:51.000Z | dhlzh6 | 3 | 7 | ptsd | Cancer, amputee and devastating traffic accident survivor (Just wanted to Introduce myself) | 0.9 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhlzh6/cancer_amputee_and_devastating_traffic_accident/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-14T04:25:40.000Z | dhliph | 3 | 1 | ptsd | How do I deal with nightmares? | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhliph/how_do_i_deal_with_nightmares/ |
succmyjollyrancher | Am I alone here? Are most people with PTSD overage? I'm 16, I already have a number of mental illnesses with PTSD, which I've been dealing with for about 10 years.. am I too young? Is this normal? | 2019-10-14T03:09:32.000Z | dhkqao | 11 | 5 | ptsd | I know I've already posted here but I want to know | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhkqao/i_know_ive_already_posted_here_but_i_want_to_know/ |
succmyjollyrancher | [removed] | 2019-10-14T02:49:41.000Z | dhkio2 | 0 | 0 | ptsd | Uncle just yelled at me jokingly | 0.5 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhkio2/uncle_just_yelled_at_me_jokingly/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-14T02:47:47.000Z | dhkhxq | 6 | 2 | ptsd | Help with compulsions? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhkhxq/help_with_compulsions/ |
QuercusCat | There's this feeling that I get when I see/hear something that reminds me of my trauma. Like a very real physical feeling that feels almost like I just swallowed acid and it's sliding all the way through me. Anyone else feel that or any other physical sensation that just feels weird?
It's.....unpleasant to say the least. | 2019-10-14T02:12:18.000Z | dhk474 | 1 | 1 | ptsd | Physical PTSD Trigger Response | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhk474/physical_ptsd_trigger_response/ |
celestineleh | i go to a theraputic/special ed school and have group therapy every tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, and art therapy on mondays, along with private meetings with 2 different therapists on alternating days. i also see psychiatrists and psycholgists outside of school. so theres a LOT of therapy. its great most of the time but sometimes i just cant handle the questions. if i had a dollar for everytime i had a panic attack or flashback while talking with them id be absurdly rich. im a super non-confrontational person and am bad at self advocating. sometimes i just want to lie and say “im over it” or “im learning to cope with it”. it just gets so tiring hearing the same questions over and over. i know they are trying to help, and they help a lot and i am eternally greatful for that, but its just so tiring. i wish i could go back in time and erase the moment i told them about my trauma. ive given them all the answers i can and its so exhausting and mentally taxing. i know i need to talk about it to recover and cope but i hate it so much. does anyone else feel like this? if so, what did you do? i jusf cant stand to confront people. | 2019-10-14T02:00:53.000Z | dhjzl6 | 2 | 5 | ptsd | does anyone ever feel like theyd be better off lying to their doctors instead of going into detail about your trauma? | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhjzl6/does_anyone_ever_feel_like_theyd_be_better_off/ |
throwawayc0nf3ssion | I didn’t serve in combat
I haven’t been abused
Nobody set out to hurt me
I feel extremely guilty because of something I’m having trouble explaining. Nobody seems to understand.
I feel like everyone I know with PTSD can say that their trauma was caused by the decisions of another person, for example domestic violence or child abuse
But mine, I was a witness. I was in the wrong place at the wrong fucking time. I didn’t make any conscious decision to be exposed to what I saw. Neither did anyone else... unless you believe god or some deity thought “hey you know what would be fun? let’s traumatize this kid”
I can’t put my blame on anyone. I don’t have an abusive family member or violent partner that I can resent. I can only blame myself for becoming traumatized in the first place
I hear similar situations being described as “just a sad situation for everyone involved” and that’s exactly what this is. No party did anything wrong. Nobody could have done anything different. Nobody’s fault. Nobody to blame. Just “an act of god”.
I’m going to the doctor tomorrow to talk about starting therapy again and I’m scared that anyone who hears about what happened to me is gonna think I’m overreacting. Like my psychiatrist is acting polite on the outside because the job requires that but on the inside they’re thinking “other people have it so much worse, and she’s traumatized by THIS?” | 2019-10-14T01:41:34.000Z | dhjrz3 | 5 | 6 | ptsd | Nobody’s fault | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhjrz3/nobodys_fault/ |
sprinkles523 | Hello,
I was pre med in college and had to leave due to my PTSD (which wasn't properly diagnosed at the time, psychiatrists at my school kept prescribing anti depressants bc they truly thought all I had was depression and anxiety).
Has anyone else here pursued a career in medicine successfully? I really want to become a PA and I know my grades weren't reflective of my true abilities... How do I explain my grades? I recently went to a career fair and when talking to an admissions counselor I was dismissed for having poor grades due to a personal emergency, it triggered me so bad because I felt trapped and labeled by my grades)
Regardless of the GPA (I can always retake classes) ... Can I be a successful PA when I have experienced PTSD?
I have been in therapy for 10 months now and already see progress and of course will continue... I want to do the right thing and I truly do believe my skills and strengths will make me a great PA, or am I missing something?
Thanks I'm advance! I appreciate having found support through this community! | 2019-10-14T00:49:35.000Z | dhj6zi | 3 | 7 | ptsd | Can you pursue a medical career with PTSD? | 0.89 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhj6zi/can_you_pursue_a_medical_career_with_ptsd/ |
[deleted] | It feels like it’s outside of normal everyday person shyness, like I physically can’t do anything that would risk me looking stupid in front of people (dancing, singing, public speaking, meeting new people, etc.) just almost survival level type of avoidance of doing anything out of my comfort zone. I’m kind of tired of living like this, it doesn’t feel natural. Anyone else? | 2019-10-13T23:21:48.000Z | dhi7kv | 5 | 23 | ptsd | Does anyone else have crippling shyness? | 0.97 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhi7kv/does_anyone_else_have_crippling_shyness/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-13T20:16:18.000Z | dhfw4m | 8 | 15 | ptsd | Does anyone find that their legs and feet are always clenched like in fight or flight mode? | 0.91 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhfw4m/does_anyone_find_that_their_legs_and_feet_are/ |
isopodsarenice | I had a horrible nightmare again.
I was 9 again my dad was shouting at me and beating me again. I tried to punch him and with literally all my strength I punched my wall 4 times whilst asleep. I woke my mum doing it too, which I feel bad about, there’s now a crack in the wall and my hand is killing me. | 2019-10-13T19:47:23.000Z | dhfhjh | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Nightmare experience | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhfhjh/nightmare_experience/ |
anonymousnutcase | I'm new to this sub. I hope this is ok. I'm not seeking any official medical advice, I'm just looking for experiences of some of the more unconventional things people have tried - whether they helped, didn't help, what it was like. I'm very into alternative medicine and have been for many years, meaning I've learned a lot and I'm very cautious about anything I do these days(meaning don't worry, I'm not going to jump on any suggestions without some serious research and thought, if at all - and please don't anyone else go doing anything crazy).
The first one I'm curious about is rather extreme example, but I'd really like to know if anyone has done this. Ayahuasca retreats. I've known about them for a while, I've read a good deal in the past, and recently came across an article about military vets formed a specific group to organize trips to do this and it's been life changing for many of them. Has anyone done this? Mind sharing your experience?
Anything else at all no matter how crazy it sounds, I'm curious to know about. | 2019-10-13T19:42:46.000Z | dhff7g | 32 | 3 | ptsd | Have any of you significantly helped, or even cured, your PTSD issues with an unusual/unique approach? Alternative medicine, etc? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhff7g/have_any_of_you_significantly_helped_or_even/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-13T19:40:58.000Z | dhfe77 | 11 | 5 | ptsd | So fucking alone... | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dhfe77/so_fucking_alone/ |