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rblake1242 | Hello, I'm new to this subreddit. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and Social Phobia, but I also have had a lot of sleep issues the past few years. I've had so much daytime sleepiness that some doctors have thought I've had Narcolepsy. I had traumatic events happen in the middle of the night scattered throughout my childhood. Do you any of you feel that your just don't get restorative sleep due to trauma? Is this daytime sleepiness a big issue to anyone else? | 2019-10-27T03:23:55.000Z | dno3h9 | 5 | 1 | ptsd | Sleep issues related to Trauma | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dno3h9/sleep_issues_related_to_trauma/ |
parranna | Hey guys! I started taking some mood stabilizers a while back and now I find it really hard to get aroused. I’ve never been in a long term relationship so I’m not sure if I’m getting bored of my partner or if the meds are causing this. I want to have sex so badly but I’m just so dry and it doesn’t feel good to me and it’s so much harder to cum since a few months ago. Have you guys experienced this? | 2019-10-27T02:34:12.000Z | dnnkza | 2 | 1 | ptsd | Meds side effects | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnnkza/meds_side_effects/ |
AwkwardTeen96 | Lately I have been having more symptoms than usual including debilitating panic attacks and flashbacks that cause me to go in and out of consciousness and have asthmatic reactions that feel like I’m dying. My boyfriend is the only person that can help me when this happens, and he lives almost two hours away, and even when he is here it still happens. He helps me and I feel guilty. I know I shouldn’t. But I do. Because it takes so long to come down from it. And I feel like I got tossed into a literal blender the next day. Often I have earthquakes - a big hit and then after shocks for hours.
The amount and severity of my triggers is really distressing me. It’s been ruining my life. Over and over again I try to start over : new job, new school year, and everytime my symptoms get spiked by some event or series of triggering events that debilitate me.
I see a therapist, I have medication - even one for the severe attacks, I have an inhaler, a weighted blanket too. I try so hard. I’ve been dealing with panic attacks and flashbacks and insomnia most of my life but lately all three are ramping up to unbearable extents that have me dissociating more than usual. And I don’t fight or flight. I usually freeze.
When someone touches me, that can be a trigger because of my sexual assault. Even a friend.
I’ve gotten better about this and made progress but it still happens even on a good day and where I feel safe (safer I guess is the better word. I never feel safe honestly. Hyper vigilance is my middle name) it still happens.
I’ve had so many different sources of trauma in my life, physical and emotional child abuse, physical health issues, suicidal past, neglect, eating disorder, grief, but the sexual assault? That is the one that has been consistently the most destructive of all.
I want so badly to succeed. To feel okay. To be whole. To be independent. To take care of myself and be better able to care for others. But right now? I feel submerged.
I feel a constant numbness - and when I’m not numb, I’m feeling too much, usually during a panic attack, and it’s unbearable.
How do you all manager these triggers? The insomnia? The panic attacks and flashbacks?
I’m desperate for help. I don’t know what to do. I’m so isolated. I have no one I can talk to about this 99% of the time. | 2019-10-27T02:06:34.000Z | dnnasr | 2 | 5 | ptsd | Any tips for managing flashbacks/triggers? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnnasr/any_tips_for_managing_flashbackstriggers/ |
anonymous4811 | I'm failing everything because of my PTSD. I cant go go school because I see mail teachers or hear certain phrases or smell certain things that remind me of my childhood and send me into a spiral. In turn I'm failing my classes. I can't go to work because i work with old people and i can't just avoid mail residents because I'm fucked in the brain. Help me . | 2019-10-27T01:22:47.000Z | dnmtmk | 6 | 15 | ptsd | Im failing everything | 0.94 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnmtmk/im_failing_everything/ |
2hogwild | If I could kill myself without it fucking my family I would in a heart beat. I am tired of losing it during arguments. I am tired of not having motivation. I am tired of feeling overwhelmed. Most of all I am tired of being a piece of shit. Retired Army, but have no health coverage because of a technical error on my part. Can't get treatment. Don't trust the VA. Offing myself will leave my wife with a mountain of debt she can't afford alone. I love my family, but sometimes I feel like I would be happier in a van down by the river. | 2019-10-27T00:59:49.000Z | dnmkgo | 5 | 5 | ptsd | I hate myself. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnmkgo/i_hate_myself/ |
Kubash16 | Having “that” talk. . .
I’m not in a place to have a full on relationship, however I’ve met someone I really like and we’ve agreed to be friends with benefits. I have a history of CSA that’s kinda complicated in terms of who all was involved in it. Long story short, my partner and I were talking about fantasies and limits. There’s a fantasy he wants (pretty tame honestly- just a threesome with two girls) and I would love to fulfill that for him. I know I can do it if it’s agreed that the other girl and I don’t interact sexually at all. But I know he would want more and I just can’t at this point. I am meeting with him tomorrow and I feel like I should explain why I’m just not able to right now.
Sorry if that’s all convoluted, ultimately I want to express to a friend with benefits partner that there are certain sexual acts that are way too triggering still? Do I divulge what’s happened in the past? He’s not demanding an explanation but I feel like my hang up is a weird one in the grand scheme of things.
How would you approach this kind of conversation? | 2019-10-27T00:56:49.000Z | dnmj4y | 5 | 11 | ptsd | Having the past trauma talk with a current sex partner. . . | 0.92 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnmj4y/having_the_past_trauma_talk_with_a_current_sex/ |
wickedmessenger-WA | hell yeah we out here lookin fam
real threat assessors only | 2019-10-27T00:55:33.000Z | dnmiot | 39 | 145 | ptsd | Hypervigalance Gang | 0.99 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnmiot/hypervigalance_gang/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-27T00:53:27.000Z | dnmhuj | 1 | 3 | ptsd | Diary-like ramble about being a lifelong socially rejected weirdo outsider, but then all of a sudden, everybody can relate to me | 0.81 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnmhuj/diarylike_ramble_about_being_a_lifelong_socially/ |
skullpocket | I barely had any conversation with the Psychiatrist and I never mentioned any past trauma when I did. I've been trying to figure out how I would qualify according to DSM. The only thing i can think of, is that I have chronic pain due to spinal stenosis and the thought of trying to cope another day at work brought on suicidal ideation. Is that really enough to diagnose someone with PTSD? | 2019-10-27T00:25:30.000Z | dnm6q1 | 2 | 1 | ptsd | Just returned from mental hospital diagnosed with Major recursive depression and PTSD-not sure how I could be diagnosed with PTSD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnm6q1/just_returned_from_mental_hospital_diagnosed_with/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T23:59:05.000Z | dnlwhz | 0 | 3 | ptsd | Triggers and Relationships | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnlwhz/triggers_and_relationships/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T23:08:06.000Z | dnlbpa | 3 | 3 | ptsd | Anyone recovering from/helping a loved one recover from a random act of violence? | 0.81 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnlbpa/anyone_recovering_fromhelping_a_loved_one_recover/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T23:06:18.000Z | dnlb09 | 2 | 13 | ptsd | PTSD affecting my work | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnlb09/ptsd_affecting_my_work/ |
ferf_goffllett |
*update: currently cuddled up in bed, lights off, listening to TV with a warm rag over my eyes. I figured if maybe I did the thing my body wanted me to do ("hide") then I'd chill out. It kinda worked.*
I am irritable AF today. Nothing feels right. I'm antsy. I'm shaky. I'm annoyed. I'm anxious.
Every little thing is getting on my nerves. Things that I normally wouldn't think twice about, let alone get irritated by. Like my cats (doing normal cat stuff), waiting in line for food, the lack of varied selection of Gluten Free choices at the cupcake store, my pants don't fit just right, my shoes got wet, the weather is nasty, my partner is leaving in about an hour to play games with his family (a normal saturday occurence), there's nothing good on any of the streaming platforms.
I'm fidgety, and annoyed, and already almost cried in a restaurant during lunch, and then cried later when I got triggered by **absolutely nothing** Felt vulnurable, like I wasn't safe, like I needed to curl up and hide.
Then my partner opened up a beer that had been fermented in bottle, so when he twisted the lid off, the cork when flying, bounced off the ceiling and hit me....so now I am **actually** on edge.
Today is hard, and I don't know why. | 2019-10-26T21:29:07.000Z | dnk2ma | 7 | 38 | ptsd | I feel wrong today. | 0.98 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnk2ma/i_feel_wrong_today/ |
HeroJournal | [removed] | 2019-10-26T21:24:18.000Z | dnk0bt | 6 | 14 | ptsd | Do you guys find journaling (e.g. keeping tabs of mood, symptoms, daily activities, other health factors) helpful for PTSD? | 0.95 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnk0bt/do_you_guys_find_journaling_eg_keeping_tabs_of/ |
ferf_goffllett | Just some background info. I am newly diagnosed with PTSD, and have just learned that a lot of reactions and symptoms I have are indicative of PTSD, so I am still navigating symptoms and learning what is typical for PTSD.
So today (about an hour ago) I was sitting in bed, just scrolling thru Instagram. Nothing going on. My partner was at his computer playing the Unnamed Goose Game (so fun btw). Just chillin.
and all the sudden I was crying. My muscles got really tense and I felt like I needed to go hide under the blankets or in the closet or something. I started shaking and I crunched up into the fetal possition. I felt vulnerable, like I wasn't safe.
But nothing had happened? Not something I saw on IG, not my partner shouting about the game, not a smell, not a flashback, not anything, but all the sudden I was reacting strongly to something very negatively.
What happened? What even is going on? Has this ever happened to you? Is this something that happens with PTSD? | 2019-10-26T19:50:47.000Z | dnit40 | 6 | 21 | ptsd | DAE else get "triggered" without a trigger?? [CW: talk of physical symptoms of being triggered] | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnit40/dae_else_get_triggered_without_a_trigger_cw_talk/ |
DeeDeeeMegaDodo | I’m 26 years, and I’ve been recently diagnosed with PTSD. I have had terrible childhood, physical and emotional abuse was the norm in our household, my mom was a cunt. Sexual abuse at the hands of different strangers outside of the house. But the thing is, currently all of this is like a puzzle, I know a couple of pieces here and there, they come at me every once in a while. But I’m pretty sure there’s a lot that’s missing. I think I’m strong enough now to deal with all of this trauma, I dealt with my parents abuse and I’m ready to deal with the other traumas I endured.
My question is, what methods can I use to to uncover any repressed memories? I hear psychedelics could work, so I plan on trying those. But what else? Do you guys have recommendations?
Thanks in advance! | 2019-10-26T19:26:37.000Z | dnihll | 5 | 6 | ptsd | Repressed Memories | 0.88 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnihll/repressed_memories/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T18:04:30.000Z | dnhf1s | 1 | 8 | ptsd | I’m finally ready to accept that I have PTSD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnhf1s/im_finally_ready_to_accept_that_i_have_ptsd/ |
[deleted] | Whenever I make eye contact in public and someone's eyes grow big I get a rush of adrenaline. How do I calm down? | 2019-10-26T17:23:57.000Z | dngvhx | 1 | 3 | ptsd | How do I calm down when I make eye contact? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dngvhx/how_do_i_calm_down_when_i_make_eye_contact/ |
Hjklgn | Know any ???? | 2019-10-26T16:29:03.000Z | dng47v | 11 | 7 | ptsd | Hotlines that don't lock you up | 0.89 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dng47v/hotlines_that_dont_lock_you_up/ |
penniwysee | ... I don't have anyone. At least not in my immediate irl life. I currently live with my mom but she really doesn't get my issues and as much as I hate to say it, is not a healthy person to be around
And of course I know you can't always count on people to be there and you need to take care of yourself... So much of my trauma is based around having pretty much my entire identity debased that it can be so hard to make myself feel better. Like, I spend everyday in my room alone with my bird and only leave to go on a walk or have a smoke. It's not a happy life. I'm not happy. Everything feels like a literal nightmare. | 2019-10-26T16:20:40.000Z | dng058 | 10 | 58 | ptsd | The most painful part for me | 0.97 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dng058/the_most_painful_part_for_me/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T08:19:23.000Z | dnb2c0 | 7 | 31 | ptsd | Dealing with repetition of trauma | 0.94 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dnb2c0/dealing_with_repetition_of_trauma/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T05:25:58.000Z | dn9n5c | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Stop broadcasting your guilt. | 0.76 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn9n5c/stop_broadcasting_your_guilt/ |
raspberrydoodle | I was officially diagnosed with PTSD this past spring for a series of events that happened to my eight year old self. I have trouble accepting the term, because subjectively it wasn’t a big deal and I *shouldn’t* feel this way.
Several weeks ago, I reached out to a couple girls who were involved because I was looking for clarification on what actually happened, if they even remembered anything at all.
One of the girls (now a woman, I guess, over twenty years later) said to me, “it’s all water under the bridge now”, and I’m all emotion over this. I mean, she’s right. It ought to be. And I hate myself for being so affected by something so seemingly minuscule. But that’s just the thing.
It did affect me. It still affects me, to this day. There’s not a day that goes by that my little third grade experiences don’t haunt me. And there is so much shame and self hatred tied to that.
So yeah, I’m grateful it’s all “water under the bridge” for you. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But I’m drowning while your water is now still.
Feeling so small and weak. Doing a lot of self blame.
I don’t know what I was hoping for by reaching out. It was an idiot thing to do. I don’t want her to apologize, for she has nothing to apologize for. We were kids, and kids don’t know any better. I don’t want to make her feel bad either, so I’m not about to be like, “well good for you, but you it deeply traumatized me...”
Does it get better? And how? What do I do? Is this just how it’s going to be for the rest of my life? I already have such little value on my life. I just can’t. | 2019-10-26T04:42:35.000Z | dn98cv | 0 | 4 | ptsd | Little trauma rant | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn98cv/little_trauma_rant/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T03:03:51.000Z | dn87hu | 7 | 2 | ptsd | Why me? | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn87hu/why_me/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T00:50:15.000Z | dn6pbn | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Night terrors or just nightmares? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn6pbn/night_terrors_or_just_nightmares/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-26T00:25:54.000Z | dn6f2w | 2 | 1 | ptsd | (Possible trigger warning? Idk if this post would trigger anyone but it might please be cautious) A question about trauma and PTSD | 0.99 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn6f2w/possible_trigger_warning_idk_if_this_post_would/ |
rockdude14 | It seems like everyone I share about PTSD to first wants to know everything and pretend to be supportive but very quickly bails leaving me alone.
Having people around seemed like one of the most helpful things. Should I just lie about it so people can stand to be around me?
It just feels like everyone pretends to want to hear about it and when they find what it entails they bail. Makes me want to tell no one. | 2019-10-25T22:07:30.000Z | dn4n7m | 3 | 7 | ptsd | Am I going to be lonely forever? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn4n7m/am_i_going_to_be_lonely_forever/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T20:29:44.000Z | dn3bct | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Just over a week until the “anniversary” of my trauma. It’s been 3 years and life just gets worse. I want to kill myself. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn3bct/just_over_a_week_until_the_anniversary_of_my/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T19:47:59.000Z | dn2q9r | 0 | 1 | ptsd | One year on Monday : TW trauma | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn2q9r/one_year_on_monday_tw_trauma/ |
superzooploop | I have a long history of depression and anxiety and until now I havent admitted that I went through some trauma in my childhood due to my bi polar mother and getting bullied at school. I’ve had nightmares my whole life related to her but I can barely remember all that happened. I only remember bits and pieces of my childhood. And nearly anything before I was 8 is just gone except for a trip to disney world and times I would hang out with my cousins. I don’t feel like I have a real mom, im not emotionally connected to her at all.
I went to a therapy intake and brought these things up and the therapist pre-diagnosed me with ptsd to be followed up with my assigned therapist. I never really thought of myself as having true ptsd before. How do I know how bad it really was if I can barely remember it? I guess my body is telling me it’s bad but sometimes I feel like I’m overreacting. I don’t even understand how I can get past it, how does processing trauma work? Especially if I can barely remember?
I feel like there’s this wall keeping me out of some deeper parts of myself. | 2019-10-25T17:52:16.000Z | dn12ec | 0 | 2 | ptsd | What do I do about it? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dn12ec/what_do_i_do_about_it/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T16:10:39.000Z | dmzmt7 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | anyone have any advice on projecting? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmzmt7/anyone_have_any_advice_on_projecting/ |
i_c_u_seeing_me | My gf and I try to lighten the mood as much as possible to avoid/deal with triggers, this has become one of our go-to's (I'm sure many of you have already seen it):
[https://twitter.com/horse\_ebooks/status/218439593240956928](https://twitter.com/horse_ebooks/status/218439593240956928?lang=en)
Hang in there everyone :) | 2019-10-25T15:15:21.000Z | dmyv2i | 0 | 2 | ptsd | "Everything happens so much" | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmyv2i/everything_happens_so_much/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T14:30:26.000Z | dmy90j | 10 | 11 | ptsd | Revenge on my step dad | 0.93 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmy90j/revenge_on_my_step_dad/ |
anxiouspigeon_ta | PTSD has such a firm grasp on me today. I want to be present in the here and now, but more of me is back there than I can handle. So tired of feeling like this. My sleep is just a series of nightmares and I can't get away from all of it. | 2019-10-25T14:10:58.000Z | dmxzx4 | 0 | 7 | ptsd | Struggling today | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmxzx4/struggling_today/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T12:49:39.000Z | dmwzop | 6 | 14 | ptsd | How to be taken seriously about a trauma I barely remember? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmwzop/how_to_be_taken_seriously_about_a_trauma_i_barely/ |
gizzielle | I've developed agoraphobia in the last few weeks. With an intense fear of someone coming into my room. They do inspections where I am and inspections aren't something I can get around. They bang on the door super loud and it sends me into a panic attack. My room use to be like a safe place but now it feels like a coffin and its suffocating. I try to go out and I get such bad anxiety being around people. Heaven forbid I see someone who looks remotely like my attacker. But staying in my room I get flashbacks. I've been trying to woke on my PTSD with my therapist but i dont feel like I'm getting better. | 2019-10-25T09:02:53.000Z | dmuq4j | 4 | 8 | ptsd | Cant leave my room | 0.85 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmuq4j/cant_leave_my_room/ |
rogue_avocado | Two years ago my two children and myself were all sick with the flu and alternating stomach bugs for 3-4 months. There were multiple hospitalizations from how sick we all were. I had a complete breakdown surrounded around this. I’ve never been comfortable with vomit but ever since this happened in 2017 I can’t even hear the phrase “tummy ache” without going into a full panic. It’s like as soon as I hear it, my entire body is tense and shivering cold, my stomach is in knots, the nausea grows and my heart is pounding. It took me a long time to understand that this is something that’s abnormal. It’s like I’m reliving this traumatic horror and to me, this is the worst case scenario. I cannot function when my children are sick now, my husband has to take charge in these situations so I can try and calm down. Why is this so hard to deal with? | 2019-10-25T08:07:09.000Z | dmu9cf | 0 | 3 | ptsd | Illness related PTSD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmu9cf/illness_related_ptsd/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T07:19:56.000Z | dmtv0k | 0 | 1 | ptsd | I had a new traumatic experience that set me way back in my recovery. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmtv0k/i_had_a_new_traumatic_experience_that_set_me_way/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T06:04:46.000Z | dmt6sq | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Revelations | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmt6sq/revelations/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T05:53:25.000Z | dmt317 | 3 | 1 | ptsd | Question about Repression | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmt317/question_about_repression/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T03:00:04.000Z | dmral4 | 0 | 6 | ptsd | I really struggle getting close to someone in a relationship. It’s like as soon as I think I might start to really like someone, my brain flips a switch and I’m repulsed by the thought of them. I have to force myself to see them when I’m anxious and end up having a great time. I cannot feel love. | 0.88 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmral4/i_really_struggle_getting_close_to_someone_in_a/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-25T02:24:25.000Z | dmqwk2 | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Work trauma and going back to work - panic and ptsd | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmqwk2/work_trauma_and_going_back_to_work_panic_and_ptsd/ |
ExpatEcho88 | I'm getting ready to move back to my home town after 7 years being away and avoiding it. I'm getting ready to graduate with a masters degree in a different country, after which I will temporarily move back to my dad's house until I transition to something else.
A lot happened in that house. As a child my mother homeschooled my brother and I. Really at times though she wasn't actually teaching me. She was basically on her death bed for years, in and out of the emergency room. On top of that she was very mentally abusive, somewhat physically abusive, and also neglectful. Then she died in that house when I was 12. My older brother basically took up the abuse after she died. He'd follow me around and yell at me, chase me when I tried to get away from him, bashed holes in my door when I tried to lock him out of my room, dragged me by the hair, punched me in the face causing me to have to go get stitches when I was pregnant... you get the picture.
I moved out of the house to get away from him, and moved in with a significant other who became violent. I escaped that and have moved to multiple countries and states, getting an education and avoiding my home town.
I have so much anxiety about moving back. I want to move back because my dad is getting older, and he had cancer last year, and it could come back and he could die. I want to spend as much time as I can with him. And I'd like to reconnect with old friends that I've known since I was a toddler. But I don't know if I can handle being in the same town with my brother. And I know my ptsd is kicking in not just from what happened with him but from everything bad that happened to me there.
Has anyone else left the area of your trauma and then returned to it? How did it go? | 2019-10-25T00:47:28.000Z | dmpsgw | 8 | 4 | ptsd | Has anyone else moved away from the region where their trauma occurred and then moved back? | 0.84 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmpsgw/has_anyone_else_moved_away_from_the_region_where/ |
saltlickbastard | So hey, this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. I'm diagnosed with depression, general anxiety and ocd and take medication. I've had very brief therapy experience and am not currently in therapy but I'm wondering if I should see someone about the possibility of trauma. Sorry if this is a long one but here we go.
As a child I had a debilitating chronic illness which came on very suddenly and meant I had to leave school and I became bedbound with a lot of pain and mystery symptoms. 'Suddenly' as in my life changed basically overnight. Took a loooong time to diagnose too. I was never admitted to hospital long term but did an extensive pediatric tour and being a kid, didn't really know what was happening, if I'd ever get better, etc. and became almost totally isolated from all my old friends too. I also saw the effect my illness had on my family which was really rough. I've been depressed since childhood but only sought help at age 20 because as a kid I was scared if any doctors knew cps would take me away (reports of kids with depression + my condition being wrongly perceived as a result of abuse) plus I didn't want to cause more pain to my family... Then the secret had been kept too long to spill I guess. I'd always been an anxious child too. I also don't remember much of my childhood but I don't know if there's an abnormal lack of memories.
I get angry hearing other people with the illness talk about it... I panic and get upset when I think about how I was... The times I've been forced into talking about it/remembering being ill I get very emotional... No one who I've made friends with after getting better knows about my illness and I plan to keep it that way. But I've only heard of medical trauma in like, kids who had cancer or really serious stuff. I don't know if this is a trauma or I'm just oversensitive? and I feel like I can't even tell how much this is affecting my life if that makes sense because I don't want to think about it. I'm used to being extremely repressed but finding the right snri has made more actual emotions creep back into my life lol. I'd just really appreciate any responses and opinions because it's taken a lot to share even this | 2019-10-25T00:35:14.000Z | dmpndz | 2 | 6 | ptsd | Medical/illness related ptsd? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmpndz/medicalillness_related_ptsd/ |
thecaptainkindofgirl | I've had more triggers this month than I've ever had. Usually it only happens maybe once every couple of months and I can come down after a day or so depending on how bad the trigger was. This whole month has seemed like a continuous panic attack. I haven't fully come down in weeks and another episode happened a few hours ago and I don't know what to do. I'm having nightmares and I've never had them before. | 2019-10-25T00:14:24.000Z | dmpeve | 4 | 5 | ptsd | Any advice for coming down from a triggered panic attack? | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmpeve/any_advice_for_coming_down_from_a_triggered_panic/ |
automn37 |
I, i am a women in his 30’s (my first langage is french... so sorry for my english)
I’ve been abuse sexually, physically and psychologicaly for many years and by different mens in differents situations (15 yrs to 22yrs old). From family, boyfriend, a client in a boutique that tried to rape me, chiropractor and doctor ( who no longer have the right to practice). I was really cursed.... because it seems that everywhere i go there was a bad men.
I manage to finish my university, have a good job, have a husband and childrens. I have a great life. But, i still have triggers... reflexes and tought of my past. I just want it to disapear. I’ve been better and better as the years passes. And i doubt that i could heal more... but i can’t say beacuse i didn’t have therapy. But i’m afraid of it. Theres so much that i never even pronounce out loud... because its seems impossible that all that stuff happens to just one person...
Its been two days since i think of going to therapy and i experience symptoms that i didn’t had since years... shaking hands, accelerating heart betting, pain in my stomach. My whole body just want to run. I think of going to therapy because since i know that i will move to another town, i fear that i will move where my ex-boyfriend lives. I cannot live where he is. But i can’t search where he is and I’m paralyse... that makes all the others agressions to the surface. My husband juste want ti know is name to search where he live. Just to know and making sure that we don’t go there. I know that he will never do something stupid, like searching for him and making trouble. The problem is that i realise that i can’t tell is name out loud.! It was surprise. But the words doesn’t go out!
I feel like that if we didn’t have to move, i would not have to go to all that. But i want to move for my childrens. They are gifted, and they need to be in a place where they can be stimulated and have better opportunities. Things that their dad and me didn’t have.
I don’t want the processus to reflect on my family and my work. If it make me worse. Does it really worth the try? | 2019-10-24T23:20:09.000Z | dmoq21 | 6 | 8 | ptsd | Fear of consulting | 0.91 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmoq21/fear_of_consulting/ |
[deleted] | I'd rather not go into what trauma's caused my PTSD, but I've been struggling just functioning with it for years now. When something triggers me I have an extremely hard time remaining calm and going about my life afterwards. It leaves me on edge and emotional all day and I'm extremely exhausted by the end of it. It's conflicted with my work in the past because I'll be barely keeping it together or I lose my shit while I'm working.
Is there any way I can try and learn to better manage myself when I'm triggered, besides just avoiding my triggers? | 2019-10-24T22:41:15.000Z | dmo665 | 4 | 11 | ptsd | Advice on how to "come down" after being triggered? | 0.93 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmo665/advice_on_how_to_come_down_after_being_triggered/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T19:58:49.000Z | dmlt31 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Operating in the face of fear? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmlt31/operating_in_the_face_of_fear/ |
ILoveJPGR | Just the noises in public restrooms scare me. I hate the loud hand dryers and the toilet flushing noises and the echoing. It causes me to panic and I usually just wipe my hands on my clothes if there are no paper towels in order to avoid using the loud hand dryers. | 2019-10-24T17:44:45.000Z | dmjwjk | 9 | 11 | ptsd | Using public restrooms | 0.88 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmjwjk/using_public_restrooms/ |
Domwolf89 | Had an episode in class about when an ex that gambled was at mine, they had me gamble and I messed up the spots and she went nuts, yelling at me and power walking until I have an asthma attack, after I dropped my pump she kicked it across the road. It felt like I was there again. Sorry if this upsets anyone. | 2019-10-24T17:01:45.000Z | dmjb37 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Class | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmjb37/class/ |
the_little_grr_maid | Yesterday, I was at the DMV to renew my license. The only seat available was in front of people, in public I prefer to be in the back so I am able to see everyone and the exits. I was already on high alert.
There was a man there extremely irate. He was spouting obscenities about his long wait. Three ladies were working, it was the time of day where they were trading off for lunches. So as one lady came back one of the others was finishing up and about to leave, he went up to the counter seeing if it his turn yet, the lady explained that she was going to lunch, and asked the lady making licenses to help him next. The license lady finished with the first person she had, she called him up, on his way up there he kept on yelling and spouting off more. She was trying her best to stay calm. Telling him to relax and calm down, that he was up here now. Well he didn't and she refused him service. He walked out pissed yelling and continuously spouting. My anxiety just kept rising the whole time he was there. The more he spoke the more I wanted to say shut up, that he wasn't special, and doesn't everyone know that the dmv always takes a long time.
All this to say it triggered into night terrors, I get them occasionally. At the beginning of the year I left my abusive husband. I keep dreaming that I go back, that I forgive him all while my mind is screaming you survived this, you got out, why the hell are you back here. He strangled you, beat you down mentally and physically, why are you here?
Now I ask for advice, is there something I could do to stop the night terrors and/or minimize them. I've noticed that if I oversleep I have them so I try to make sure I have between 6-8 hours of sleep but no more than that.
Sorry for the long hopefully not too scattered post | 2019-10-24T16:45:53.000Z | dmj3a0 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Triggered Night Terrors (trigger warning) | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmj3a0/triggered_night_terrors_trigger_warning/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T15:17:49.000Z | dmhv6j | 0 | 1 | ptsd | PTSD anonymous | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmhv6j/ptsd_anonymous/ |
urlittlevenicebitch | TW: death, self-harm and suicide.
Hey guys. So it is coming up to the two year anniversary of my mother’s death which I witnessed in person and was very traumatic; about six months after it happened I was diagnosed with PTSD. I know this date is going to be a major trigger for me, last year around this time I was self-harming and dealt with a suicide attempt. Right now I’m in a way better space than I was last year but I can feel my anxiety and grief getting worse each day. The shitty part is that I am in the middle of my final exams in my final year of university and I have a lot of pressure on me to do well. I am already aware that I’m going to not do well in one subject. The anxiety and stress and PTSD flashbacks are all getting too much and on top of this my relationship is currently very rocky (although that’s a whole other story). I’m in therapy for all of this but I was wondering if anyone has any short term coping mechanisms just so I can get through these exams and pass! Thanks in advance :) | 2019-10-24T11:27:24.000Z | dmf18l | 1 | 5 | ptsd | Dealing with triggers during high-stress periods | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmf18l/dealing_with_triggers_during_highstress_periods/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T11:13:43.000Z | dmew49 | 15 | 135 | ptsd | EMDR is helping. Removing and keeping stress out of my life is helping too. Trying to keep things calm and quiet as my severity of symptoms has surprised me completely since quitting drinking 11 months ago. Having a positive and good attitude has gotten me through so much. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmew49/emdr_is_helping_removing_and_keeping_stress_out/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T09:39:02.000Z | dme0i9 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Prescribed medication for mood stabilizer, but I didn’t tell my psych I have ptsd. Will it help me? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dme0i9/prescribed_medication_for_mood_stabilizer_but_i/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T08:52:25.000Z | dmdmf5 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Does anyone relate to not being able to experience stress when necessary? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmdmf5/does_anyone_relate_to_not_being_able_to/ |
KilledAsAKid | I was having bad nightmares for years. I didn't want to think I had PTSD back then. Eventually my psychiatrist told me I might have it and that it's so bad that they wanted to prescribe me this new experimental medication. She told me it was a blood-pressure medication with an unlabeled use for stopping dreaming. I politely told her no because the concept seemed too science fiction and disturbing to me. I guess I have the belief that human beings need to dream in order to sort of repair themselves emotionally or something. I just feel like dreams are an important thing for humans to have, otherwise they wouldn't exist.
​
I'm curious though. Has anyone here been prescribed or using Prazosin? What type of effects do you experience? Does it take away nightmares but leave normal dreams or does it end all dreams completely? Does it have any side effects? Does it help you?
​
Thanks. | 2019-10-24T08:29:28.000Z | dmdfsj | 7 | 1 | ptsd | Anyone prescribed or offered Prazosin? What is your opinion on it? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmdfsj/anyone_prescribed_or_offered_prazosin_what_is/ |
KilledAsAKid | With life\*
​
Trigger warning: gun violence, suicide
​
I am at an impasse. I think I am going to lose my job.
​
I've got problems like you people here do. Maybe not as bad, but I don't really know, and does it even really matter in the end?
​
I don't want to divulge the exact nature of my job. It's nothing special. I'm no CIA agent or some shit, but it requires me to work in places with lots of people and a lot of times they're hostile. I don't mean just like angry customer hostile (although that too), but one of our "customers" or whatever you want to call them, someone who buys services from us, was in a famous video you've probably seen on America's Most Wanted or World's Wildest Police Videos. It's the one where the guy shoots at the lawyer point blank in front of the courthouse with a revolver. These are our consumers or whatever you want to call them. I also work in some sensitive government type places.
​
Someone shot himself in the mouth with a rifle one time at the place where I work. I didn't see him actually pull the trigger, but I was there with his dead body and forensics and the cops. There's an aspect to this that was pretty sickening, but I don't think I need to share it here because I don't want people to have a darkness come over them.
​
I already got problems from stuff in the past. The suicide didn't help things much. A large part of my time there I work in that building not far from where the body was. I'll get a smell or a sight or just some random stimulus, not necessarily relating to the suicide, but it will take me back to other times I almost forgot existed. I get bad anxiety. I want to get out of there. I got hypervigilance real bad all the time and during these episodes I can't have anyone near me or perceiving me. Some primal thing inside me for self-preservation gets highly activated and I'm afraid of hurting someone on accident or just having some sort of breakdown type event that loses the company money and gets me fired.
​
In order to deal with this I've taken to taking 2mg Xanax bars and drinking. I know that I can't keep up with this forever, but there seems to be no long term solution. Without this type of stuff I'm just like in hell forever. I look at it like an engine or any piece of machinery. You run that sucker without any oil or grease and just by its mechanism of action it'll destroy itself to point that it's useless. Once you get that oil or grease in there then its good to go and do work, maybe for many years to come. That's how I look at it at least.
​
I don't want to be dependent on Benzos because they get into your bone marrow and just fuck you up in general. I'm not as big a fan of alcohol as I once was either. I've tried meditation and all that new-age hippie holistic junk and it doesn't do nothing for me. The problem is that when I'm alone and things are quiet, like when I'm driving, then my mind wanders back to places I'd rather not go. Same thing when I'm doing yoga or whatever stupid thing they make me do.
​
Do you people got any advice for living a normal life? Being able to go to the store, go on dates, go on vacation, go to work, meet with family and so on without risking some sort of fucked up attack happening.
​
Thanks. | 2019-10-24T08:09:09.000Z | dmd9y0 | 3 | 3 | ptsd | How to continue with like in a practical manner | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmd9y0/how_to_continue_with_like_in_a_practical_manner/ |
kmusk | I... can’t wrap my mind around the idea that prolonged exposure therapy is supposed to be effective for people with PTSD???
I think it’s actually insane — this idea that I need to relive my trauma, over and over, in order to get over it, when I just got past the phase of uncontrollably thinking about my trauma 6 months ago. It feels like going backwards.
Moreover, it seems so so so so painful. Why can’t I choose to just focus on things that make me happy? Is there actually an issue with avoiding things that make me triggered? **Do I need to force myself in daily life to do things that trigger me????!!!**
The other thing is, if exposure therapy is the only route to healing, fuck healing, I would honestly 100% rather commit suicide.
What should I do? — I feel like my entire worldview on how I can get better from PTSD (which for the record has been working so far, seemingly) is coming into conflict with research on PTSD. | 2019-10-24T07:42:31.000Z | dmd22q | 2 | 3 | ptsd | Do I have to do exposure therapy to get better? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmd22q/do_i_have_to_do_exposure_therapy_to_get_better/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T06:53:33.000Z | dmcmsh | 0 | 1 | ptsd | When You Have Vocabulary, Had It Helped? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmcmsh/when_you_have_vocabulary_had_it_helped/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T06:48:09.000Z | dmcl3e | 0 | 4 | ptsd | Shame and ptsd? [Trigger Warning] | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmcl3e/shame_and_ptsd_trigger_warning/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T05:40:39.000Z | dmbzqc | 1 | 1 | ptsd | My story | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmbzqc/my_story/ |
EconomyFap | So my family is coming into town. Don’t get me wrong I love my dad and my little brother they’re amazing and I love them to death. My mom (who we’ll call P for this shit story) is a totally different story.
For years P abused my siblings and I verbally and physically. She would always be screaming and slapping the second she didn’t get her way or her parenting failed. That kind of shit kept going until we were strong enough to hit back hard enough to make it hurt.
Today she keeps up the abuse by treating us more like trophies than people. She never gives a fuck about what’s going on in our lives until it has an impact on her reputation. If it’s good then she’ll jack it, rub it in the face of whoever will listen and not give a damn about how we feel about the situation. If it’s something bad then oh we better not say a word about it when we’re back in our hometown and saying shit to relatives is off the table. We’re just her gambling chips at the end of the day.
Needless to say P is a “trigger” for my ptsd. Luckily I’m living away from them now but they’re going to be coming into town this weekend and I just can’t deal. The best ways I’ve found to deal with a ptsd episode is getting fucked up until I pass out for a few hours. That isn’t an option this weekend though because I’m going to be on little brother duty and he shouldn’t have to see me acting like that. It also breaks my dad’s heart to see me struggling with this shit and that’s the last thing I want to put him through right now. I just don’t know what the fuck to do or how I’ll get through this weekend. | 2019-10-24T04:34:29.000Z | dmbd3q | 1 | 3 | ptsd | I’m in for a shit weekend | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmbd3q/im_in_for_a_shit_weekend/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T04:01:14.000Z | dmb0rq | 4 | 3 | ptsd | I need some advice | 0.81 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dmb0rq/i_need_some_advice/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T02:47:24.000Z | dma7zd | 2 | 1 | ptsd | What is therapy like? More specifically talk therapy with an emphasis on cognitive behavioral therapy. | 0.66 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dma7zd/what_is_therapy_like_more_specifically_talk/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T01:01:29.000Z | dm8yzv | 0 | 4 | ptsd | Importance of self care | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm8yzv/importance_of_self_care/ |
[deleted] | I got my diagnosis almost a year ago to the date, and am finally attempting to get back into work. Before being diagnosed I would lose jobs due to severe stress resulting in me either not doing the work effectively, not showing up at work unannounced, or in one case trying to ignore it for so long it caused severe physical illness resulting in hospitalization and losing the job because I had succumb to severe gastro issues and even oral thrush.
How can I effectively communicate this with potential employers? I know I sometimes need to step away and refocus myself, and that working for long periods or around certain types of people can trigger full blown episodes of self destructive behavior and shutting down and not leaving my house (drinking, abrasive behavior, hypertension, or just not being able to function at all) | 2019-10-24T00:42:07.000Z | dm8q9j | 5 | 7 | ptsd | Discussing my PTSD with employers, does and donts? | 0.9 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm8q9j/discussing_my_ptsd_with_employers_does_and_donts/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-24T00:11:32.000Z | dm8cim | 1 | 1 | ptsd | Why did this have to happen. **TW negative rant and a lot of self pity I guess, mentions of abuser** | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm8cim/why_did_this_have_to_happen_tw_negative_rant_and/ |
[deleted] | null | 2019-10-23T23:45:18.000Z | dm80ip | 29 | 125 | ptsd | DAE get triggered by people with short tempers? | 0.99 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm80ip/dae_get_triggered_by_people_with_short_tempers/ |
Rodentomancy | Does anyone know or use medication for the stuff thats mentioned in the title? And if yes what Kind of side effects does it have. I appreciate every answer. | 2019-10-23T23:41:40.000Z | dm7z1o | 4 | 8 | ptsd | Medication for Twitching, Hypervigilance and Sensory Overload | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm7z1o/medication_for_twitching_hypervigilance_and/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T23:30:08.000Z | dm7tlk | 2 | 4 | ptsd | I can’t talk about police officers | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm7tlk/i_cant_talk_about_police_officers/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T22:28:44.000Z | dm6ynp | 0 | 4 | ptsd | how do i get thru it? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm6ynp/how_do_i_get_thru_it/ |
[deleted] | Im trying so hard to cry rn but i ust can't. People hae told me that shutting off emotions is a coping skill, but to me thats hardly coping. I need the release cryin gives me, THATS a coping skill. Anyone have any tips | 2019-10-23T21:38:48.000Z | dm68n3 | 5 | 5 | ptsd | Why can't i cry | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm68n3/why_cant_i_cry/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T21:02:59.000Z | dm5ppj | 1 | 2 | ptsd | Are panic attacks inevitable? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm5ppj/are_panic_attacks_inevitable/ |
katchase19 | I have severe PTSD stemming from abuse, I have a hard time with loud noises and yelling. I just got a job 2 weeks ago at a certain large retailer that sells home and building supplies. I was excited at first, but then my anxiety that stems from my PTSD started to get higher, and I found myself being physically sick from it. I was getting sick coming home mainly. The second I stepped out of the building and got into my car my stomach would start hurting, also severe nausea. At first I tried to rationalize it by saying it was something I ate, I thought I would be fine. I found myself more depressed in the fallowing days, but I kept trying to push myself. Last night however I had it again and it was so much more severe. It was one of the worst panic attacks that I have ever had. So I decided to quit. My bf and I both agreed that this job was not good for my mental health. The thing is though, I was just in training, and I have worked retail before and have been fine. This was different though, it felt overwhelming, it felt dreadful. I do not blame them though, they were very kind. I just need to get myself in a better place and I thought a job would help with that, but I'll have to try something else. I apologise for rambling, but I needed to get this out. I cannot tell my family the truth either, because they will not understand. I am grateful that my bf understands. Thanks for letting me ramble. | 2019-10-23T20:37:51.000Z | dm5c64 | 0 | 3 | ptsd | Quit while training | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm5c64/quit_while_training/ |
some-unnoticed-guy | Naturally I make a post this morning and then “brag” about how shit hasn’t been that bad lately. Then a few hours later I get triggered into what turned into a 30 min daze of just staring at my desk in class and I don’t even know what we went over. Yay me! (Insert sarcasm here) | 2019-10-23T19:59:07.000Z | dm4r2h | 1 | 11 | ptsd | Naturally... 🙄 | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm4r2h/naturally/ |
ladycocacola | I’ve been working a hectic retail job for two years and recently started having disassociative episodes at work. They began in February about once a month and got more and more frequent to the point where I had to take FMLA time for a month and attend an IOP program focusing on trauma. I tried to return to work this week, and it felt like all the healing I had done in IOP went right out the window. I haven’t been able to sleep and I’ve been feeling what I can only describe as terrified for days. I’m realizing my work is my #1 trigger and it’s sad because it was at one point a place I loved.
I’ve tried many different careers and all of them have seemed to make my symptoms worse (especially retail.). Wondering if any people here have found careers that you’ve been successful with while having PTSD. I’m feeling like I’m running out of options at this point and it feels scary. | 2019-10-23T19:48:35.000Z | dm4lir | 8 | 17 | ptsd | Careers for people with PTSD? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm4lir/careers_for_people_with_ptsd/ |
luftherz | This is going to be a struggle to put the right words together, so bear with me.
I’ve never been formally diagnosed with PTSD, but mostly because I’ve never spoken to a doctor/therapist about anything that’s ever happened to me in my life. So I’m just throwing this out there to the universe...
I’ve never served in the military, but I’ve been through some personally traumatic experiences that haunt my every day functioning but I just don’t know if it would even be considered PTSD. But everything I’m experiencing is lining right up with the signs/symptoms and I just don’t know how to heal myself.
I’ll try to explain: my traumatic memories invade every little thought and poison them. It’s like my brain relieves them over and over again. I feel like I’m watching the world through a lens that replays these events and taints my world view to the negative.
These memories bring me right back to the events like I’m reliving them all over again and the anxiety that accompanies is just beyond overwhelming.
I carry this weight all the time. It’s crushing me and I feel like it’s ruined me as a person. I can barely function. I’m socially, spiritually, financially, mentally, and physically worn down and unable to function like a normal human.
I’m going down a path of self-destruction and I don’t have the strength to stop it anymore. | 2019-10-23T19:02:45.000Z | dm3xmz | 1 | 1 | ptsd | Stuck reliving the same moments over and over... | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm3xmz/stuck_reliving_the_same_moments_over_and_over/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T18:50:23.000Z | dm3r8a | 0 | 2 | ptsd | Socializing in small groups is such a struggle. I can know the people in the group and I still struggle. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm3r8a/socializing_in_small_groups_is_such_a_struggle_i/ |
[deleted] | Just got diagnosed with chronic PTSD when I went in to see my doc today. With all the trauma from my childhood and teen years this makes a lot of sense. | 2019-10-23T17:53:49.000Z | dm2y79 | 0 | 3 | ptsd | Diagnosed | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm2y79/diagnosed/ |
journey1992 | Anyone else with a trauma history have difficulty surrendering your plans and goals to the universe/God?!
All my life I’ve felt I had to fight for survival as I am a victim of child sexual and emotional abuse. Since I saw myself as the only one looking out for me, I had to protect myself while living in fear by constantly micro managing, planning my next move, and rushing to get wanted. I had to become super controlling and self disciplined in order to remove toxic messages and people from my life. I also had to discipline myself in order to prevent addictive habits such as toxic relationships, binge eating, spending, binge drinking, ruminating and going back to old coping mechanism.
I’ve been reading about how people find success in life by giving up their control and surrendering their plans/goals to the universe/God by trusting there is a far greater plan. They say it’s best to live by your heart/ intuition, set an intention, and then let the universe unfold their plan organically. Attachment and desire is the root of suffering according to buddhist teaching.
When I try to surrender, I feel myself resisting so much. When I do surrender for a moment, I do feel
Calmer but I get scared and then go back to feeling in control. Perhaps I’m self sabotaging.
I’m afraid if I start surrendering and letting go, I’ll go back to old patterns and things will not go right for me. I’m afraid of abusers and toxic people entering my life because I’ll be so open like I used to (but I guess what is different now is I assert myself more and set boundaries). It’s so hard for me to get out of my head and in my feelings and body.
I also think it’s hard for me to surrender as I am still exploring my faith in spirituality and don’t know for sure if there is a higher power watching over me. I am moving towards having faith there is a higher power but I haven’t fully accepted it yet.
Has anyone been in my position before and any suggestions to surrender? Any support and/or advice would be much appreciated. | 2019-10-23T17:22:44.000Z | dm2ian | 3 | 3 | ptsd | Anyone else with a trauma history have difficulty surrendering your plans and goals to the universe/God?! | 0.8 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm2ian/anyone_else_with_a_trauma_history_have_difficulty/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T17:21:09.000Z | dm2hj5 | 4 | 2 | ptsd | No good way to say this, but...DAE actually NOT want this diagnosis? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm2hj5/no_good_way_to_say_this_butdae_actually_not_want/ |
[deleted] | Most of the time, I feel utterly alone. I’m a 29 year old female who was recently diagnosed with PTSD. It didn’t even occur to me that I could have it, although I used to study psychology. I just thought I was an anxious person. I’ve worked in customer service for the past 11 years and I’m currently one of the oldest people at my store (and no degree) and I feel stuck at this job. This area is very affluent with a lot of rich snobs visiting the store every day. I feel as though I can’t relate to any of these kids I work with because of our difference in age, but also, I feel as though if they have any trauma, it’s not prominent...I’m embarrassed of mine because when triggered (mostly by customers), I get erratic and sometimes can’t even form words properly. No one understands me. I had a customer threaten to call corporate on me a few weeks ago. She was very accusative toward me and wouldn’t let me explain myself. She even called me an idiot when I spelled my name out for her...I manically explained that the spelling of my name was different than another word. I went into the back room and had a panic attack. I sobbed and called my boyfriend for consolation. Working in customer service, and at my store in particular has been especially hard for me because of the abuse my co-workers and I deal with on a daily basis on top of the former abuse I endured. I had a day a few weeks ago that I called out (it was a Monday) because I had barely slept that night due to panic attacks. I’m not medicated because my therapist said I should continue to take CBD oil. I would probably smoke marijuana if it didn’t make me paranoid and I’ve been actively applying for other jobs (with no luck). I marked myself on our employers website as having a disability a few days ago, which I wasn’t aware PTSD was a disability (thanks to this group, I know now).
Today I was triggered before I even came to work. I feel bad for my boyfriend as we are still new to our area and we don’t have friends, which causes him to constantly deal with me. I just feel so alone and wish someone understood. I really feel as though I’d be able to heal if I had a job where I didn’t have to deal with customers but my job search has been so terrible, I’m losing hope.
Thank you for reading. | 2019-10-23T15:50:18.000Z | dm17ex | 14 | 6 | ptsd | Alone | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm17ex/alone/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T15:29:45.000Z | dm0x5l | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Recently diagnosed, taking medication, hard to swallow. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm0x5l/recently_diagnosed_taking_medication_hard_to/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T15:15:03.000Z | dm0q06 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | How do I get a formal diagnosis for my PTSD? | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm0q06/how_do_i_get_a_formal_diagnosis_for_my_ptsd/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T15:05:03.000Z | dm0l26 | 12 | 17 | ptsd | I have PTSD from severe childhood abuse. How do I begin recovery? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm0l26/i_have_ptsd_from_severe_childhood_abuse_how_do_i/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T14:47:37.000Z | dm0cjc | 0 | 1 | ptsd | Having a hard time socializing. I have all this confidence and know I've got things to say. But once I'm around people in a group social setting, I lose all confidence and feel naked and have a hard time knowing where to keep my glance. Happens with a group, even people I know well. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm0cjc/having_a_hard_time_socializing_i_have_all_this/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T14:22:24.000Z | dm00mg | 2 | 1 | ptsd | Can anyone help me understand if I may be dealing with PTSD? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dm00mg/can_anyone_help_me_understand_if_i_may_be_dealing/ |
NewDayTomorrough | I almost never cry or if I do only for less that 5 minutes. But almost every day for no reason a few tears come out the outside corners of my eyes. Just enough to make my skin a little moist but easy to wipe away no one notices. Usually while sitting through a pause at my desk at work or while falling asleep or wake up at night with these tears. It happens while reading or posting on this sub.
No emotion not choked up no lump in my throat maybe slight sniffles. Anybody have this? Is this technically what they call "weeping" in the symptoms commonly defining ptsd? | 2019-10-23T13:36:09.000Z | dlzez9 | 2 | 1 | ptsd | "Stress tears" as I call them? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlzez9/stress_tears_as_i_call_them/ |
lonelyflowerx01 | oops i mean today! I don't like field trips because I feel really awkward and anxious going to new and outside spaces with classmates I am not close with or don't feel comfortable with. I don't have any friends in that class nor do I see anyone that is friendly/decent enough to talk with, so I know I will be alone and feeling awkward on the whole way there and whatever we will do there. I find the aspect of this triggering as well.
Later on today, I have to go on a field trip for my class, the only good thing is it will be placed in nature, so the environment wont be as hectic but I still feel awkward and kind of triggered going to places outside campus with classmates and my professor. I also have extreme hypervigilance, so i am very aware of my surroundings and the people around me, I fear I wont be able to concentrate due to being around them., im nearly considering skipping out on it, making an excuse and telling my professor if I can go on my own as an alternative.
should I try to go and brave it out, if so what methods or coping mechanism would you recommended? or maybe find out if I can go on my own there (I can go on the weekend so I can bring someone like my mom with me) so I will be able to write about it as part of my assignment(that way I can bring someone with me) ugh I hate college and these uncomfortable assignments we have to do :( | 2019-10-23T12:55:31.000Z | dlywn8 | 3 | 13 | ptsd | Have to go on field trip tomorrow for my college class. Really dreading it and feeling anxious about it, needing tips/advice | 0.93 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlywn8/have_to_go_on_field_trip_tomorrow_for_my_college/ |
some-velvet-morning | Does anybody else have this issue? For the first 45 minutes of therapy, I can barely get a full sentence out about anything. But then for my last 15 minutes, that’s when I suddenly feel comfortable enough to start getting into a deep topic, but then there’s no time left to discuss it! How do I stop being this way so that my appointments are more productive?
Maybe I just need time because I haven’t been seeing this therapist for very long yet, and the scheduling has been inconsistent. But I think for me, it’s mostly that my PTSD makes me pay way too much attention to how my therapist might be feeling herself whenever I walk in, and then carefully reading the vibes of the room. It’s just a habit after living with abusive people for so long, you have to walk on eggshells and make sure it’s safe before you speak... but it takes me such a long time to finally decide it’s safe. | 2019-10-23T12:50:54.000Z | dlyun0 | 22 | 120 | ptsd | I don’t “warm up” at therapy until the end of every session | 0.98 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlyun0/i_dont_warm_up_at_therapy_until_the_end_of_every/ |
Equilibrium132 | And it's really affecting my personal life. I see my doctor soon. I've not received a diagnosis yet (haven't seen a doc in years), but I usually screen very high. It's hard to even hold a conversation much of the time. I'm starting to isolate.
Does anybody have any tips for the meantime? Anything helps <3 | 2019-10-23T10:45:25.000Z | dlxgu0 | 4 | 14 | ptsd | It's really hard to not dissociate sometimes... | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlxgu0/its_really_hard_to_not_dissociate_sometimes/ |
some-unnoticed-guy | As per requested ***trigger warning*** for the article mentioned at the end. I’m still new with posting things so please bare with me while I figure all this out. I could not figure out how to edit the title so I hope this will suffice.
I’m 29 years old. Never actually been “diagnosed” with PTSD, but considering my line of work and some of the more common symptoms, I reckon it’s safe to say I have it. I’m in almost all aspects of the Emergency field. I work Fire, EMS, Law and Search & Rescue (although I’m not as active in it as I once was). I read an article the other day i can wholeheartedly relate to. I thought maybe I could share it and see if others alike can relate as well. Even if you can’t I still encourage you to read it, because it is a good read and brings light to PTSD
[Daddy’s Girl](http://mark-vonappen.blogspot.com/2014/01/daddys-girl.html?m=1) | 2019-10-23T10:43:13.000Z | dlxg3c | 6 | 2 | ptsd | First post on this reddit | 0.76 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlxg3c/first_post_on_this_reddit/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T10:15:52.000Z | dlx6wp | 4 | 5 | ptsd | How can I minimise PTSD's effect on my relationship? | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlx6wp/how_can_i_minimise_ptsds_effect_on_my_relationship/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T08:01:47.000Z | dlw1h1 | 0 | 1 | ptsd | [Vent] Reliving it. Different context | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlw1h1/vent_reliving_it_different_context/ |
[deleted] | Hi everyone my name is N.
Today I went in for a psych evaluation because of some dissociative episodes. My actionable item that I listed was overcoming anxiety
.
.
Walked out with a complex PTSD diagnosis..
NEVER have I ever thought that I have ptsd.
Everything makes so much sense.
I have this urge of telling absolutely everyone I know about this finding
“Look! I am not crazy or weird!!! I have ptsd! And it’s treatable!!”
Honestly would tell my friends that I am bipolar to explain my emotions-didn’t know any other explanation
Should I make a huge announcement on fb, insta, etc
Or should I just keep this to myself | 2019-10-23T04:34:49.000Z | dlu60i | 2 | 5 | ptsd | Went in for an evaluation.... | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlu60i/went_in_for_an_evaluation/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T03:52:20.000Z | dltqjd | 0 | 3 | ptsd | Possible PTSD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dltqjd/possible_ptsd/ |
jacobwaayne | Hi. I’m a 19 year old male with complex PTSD. I have really bad episodes that consist of uncontrollable twitching, screaming, crying, flailing, shaking, and so much more. These episodes happen quite often and make it really hard for me to function the way that I would prefer to. I’m looking to make some friends who also have similar PTSD symptoms that I can relate to and we can vent to each other. Maybe even make a group chat for all of us to have some support. If you’re interested at all, shoot me a message! | 2019-10-23T03:49:48.000Z | dltpo5 | 3 | 2 | ptsd | In Search of Someone Who Gets It | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dltpo5/in_search_of_someone_who_gets_it/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2019-10-23T02:29:40.000Z | dlstpf | 0 | 2 | ptsd | I understand why it happened (Sexual Assault Trigger?) | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlstpf/i_understand_why_it_happened_sexual_assault/ |
Newtnewt1221 | I made a post on here already about this, but I'm still stuck. I want to be human again.
I have zero emotion. I didn't know that was possible, but I truly do have zero emotion. When people talk to me, I can never socially engage. There is no natural feeling or stimulation of facial expression. My "self" is totally gone, 100% gone, not a trace left.
I have no sensation in my body ever. My heart rate is slow and steady and never speeds up. Same with my blood pressure. I don't feel fear or anxiety, nothing in the pit of my stomach, ever.
I am completely outside of my body. I don't feel my body at all, I don't feel my feet touching the ground, I can't feel my fingers typing on the keyboard I'm using to type this.
Nothing around me feels real, I have tunnel vision.
I'm in shock, freeze response. I'm a living corpse and I can't get out of this. I'm 17. I will have no life if I have to stay this way, I might as well die. Acceptable suicide.
No one understands this. I've had depersonalization for years, but it wasn't like this, I reached a point one night last year where there was no hope and my nervous system entered the final stage and prepared me for death.
11 months later, I'm still just a conscious blankness. I have had years of severe anxiety and trauma, a lifetime of a dysregulated nervous system, since early childhood trauma...I don't think I can ever recover.
Life isn't worth living with no emotion and no self. I really rather be dead. Everyday I wake up, I wish I didn't.
I'm not depressed, it's just total blankness and numbness. If I actually was about to be eaten by a lion, I'd be perfectly numb and comfortable. I feel like a sociopath, I literally have no emotion. ZERO. I imagine this is extremely rare. I have seen several doctors about this and none of them have a clue.
If I don't kill myself, this will eventually kill me. I've been doing so much research on this, the dorsal vagal branch of the parasympathetic nervous system that causes this...the metabolism of the body is in a conversing, low oxygen state, which unlike for reptiles, can eventually be lethal for mammals. I'm so nauseous all the time and I can't eat.
I have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia from trauma and then the stress and pressure of having CFS and fibro caused this total shutdown of the nervous system, along with financial stress.
I'm also about to lose my father to terminal cancer in 4-6 weeks. I have no emotion about it, since I'm in freeze, but I know that's just another majorly traumatic thing added onto the 10s of other major traumas that lead to this....
I really don't know what to do. No one else has what I have. I don't have depression, it's a total nothingness and my sympathetic nervous system can never be aroused or stimulated in any way to fight or flee a situation.
I truly want to die. My only hope is maybe to see a Somatic Experiencing practictioner, but I can't afford to do so. I'm already in counseling and have been for a long time, but it doesn't do anything. What do I do? Just live without being able to live? Never, ever smile or feel any hint of human connection or pleasure for decades and decades, from the age of 16? Sorry, but I can't do that. I won't. | 2019-10-23T02:23:55.000Z | dlsral | 4 | 3 | ptsd | Been in total freeze response 24/7 for about a year | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/dlsral/been_in_total_freeze_response_247_for_about_a_year/ |