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Judge | Dogg: Hold up. Were you or were you not abducted by these hoes? | Fry | Well, abducted is such an ugly word. |
Fry | Well, abducted is such an ugly word. | Clarence | Thomas' head: Mr. Wong, the court cannot compel you to testify against your own daughter. |
Clarence | Thomas' head: Mr. Wong, the court cannot compel you to testify against your own daughter. | Mr. | Wong: No. No, I want to. Also, I got something to say about my wife. |
Mr. | Wong: No. No, I want to. Also, I got something to say about my wife. | Judge | Dogg: Aw, yeah. Having heard some of the testimony over these jams I've been listening to, me and my crew will now kick it in the mix. |
Judge | Dogg: Aw, yeah. Having heard some of the testimony over these jams I've been listening to, me and my crew will now kick it in the mix. | Judge | Dogg Court. Bailiff, drop it like it's legal precedent. |
Judge | Dogg Court. Bailiff, drop it like it's legal precedent. | Bailiff | In the matter of Leo Wong v. The Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, four justices vote to convict, five to acquit. |
Bailiff | In the matter of Leo Wong v. The Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective, four justices vote to convict, five to acquit. | Antonin | Scalia's Head: However, since the vote was strictly along gender lines and the female justices' votes only count half, you are hereby found guilty. |
Antonin | Scalia's Head: However, since the vote was strictly along gender lines and the female justices' votes only count half, you are hereby found guilty. | Ruth | Ginsberg's Head: It's a humiliating and biased system, but it works. |
Ruth | Ginsberg's Head: It's a humiliating and biased system, but it works. | Judge | Dogg Peace. |
Judge | Dogg Peace. | Warden | Ladies! Welcome to Hell. |
Warden | Ladies! Welcome to Hell. | Petunia | Beats Nutley on a Saturday night. |
Petunia | Beats Nutley on a Saturday night. | Warden | This is a privately-owned for-profit prison and I run a tight, cheap ship! I've done this by cutting costs everywhere, especially on punishment. I rely on you inmates to make prison unpleasant for yourselves. You're encouraged to sexually harass new prisoners, organize no-holds-barred catfights and maintain poor hygiene. |
Warden | This is a privately-owned for-profit prison and I run a tight, cheap ship! I've done this by cutting costs everywhere, especially on punishment. I rely on you inmates to make prison unpleasant for yourselves. You're encouraged to sexually harass new prisoners, organize no-holds-barred catfights and maintain poor hygiene. | Amy | Try and make me, copper. |
Amy | Try and make me, copper. | Warden | Taste the lash of my 99-cent-store nightstick! |
Warden | Taste the lash of my 99-cent-store nightstick! | Mr. | Wong: Yee-ha! With the feministas in jail, it full speed ahead. You and me, Fry. We implode the violet dwarf star tomorrow. Ka-boom-boom! |
Mr. | Wong: Yee-ha! With the feministas in jail, it full speed ahead. You and me, Fry. We implode the violet dwarf star tomorrow. Ka-boom-boom! | Fry | You and me? |
Fry | You and me? | Mr. | Wong: Yeah. |
Mr. | Wong: Yeah. | Fry | Tomorrow? |
Fry | Tomorrow? | Mr. | Wong: Tomorrow. |
Mr. | Wong: Tomorrow. | Fry | Ka-boom? |
Fry | Ka-boom? | Mr. | Wong: Ka-boom-boom! |
Mr. | Wong: Ka-boom-boom! | Fry | Okay, Leo Wong's about to destroy the violet dwarf. So, whatever I need to know to stop him, tell me now. |
Fry | Okay, Leo Wong's about to destroy the violet dwarf. So, whatever I need to know to stop him, tell me now. | Nine | Alas! Stopping Wong isn't the only problem. One of the Dark Ones will try to stop you from stopping him. So, you must stop it from stopping you from stopping him. |
Nine | Alas! Stopping Wong isn't the only problem. One of the Dark Ones will try to stop you from stopping him. So, you must stop it from stopping you from stopping him. | Fry | But how can I stop it stop me stop him? |
Fry | But how can I stop it stop me stop him? | Nine | Stop it! Behold, the Omega Device. |
Nine | Stop it! Behold, the Omega Device. | Fry | That's it? The name Omega Device sort of conjured up something cooler looking. Not that I'm disappointed or anything. |
Fry | That's it? The name Omega Device sort of conjured up something cooler looking. Not that I'm disappointed or anything. | Nine | The important thing is what's inside. |
Nine | The important thing is what's inside. | Fry | What does that look like? |
Fry | What does that look like? | Hutch | No one knows, man. It was invented by a blind inventor, and the one dude he described it to was deaf. |
Hutch | No one knows, man. It was invented by a blind inventor, and the one dude he described it to was deaf. | Mad | Fellow: So the legend goes. |
Mad | Fellow: So the legend goes. | Nine | When activated, the device will emit a localized blast of delta-band noise to momentarily disable the Dark One. |
Nine | When activated, the device will emit a localized blast of delta-band noise to momentarily disable the Dark One. | Fry | Like farting in a tent? |
Fry | Like farting in a tent? | Nine | No, an elevator. Which is why you must strike the enemy at point blank range! |
Nine | No, an elevator. Which is why you must strike the enemy at point blank range! | Fry | But the Dark One could look like anything or anyone, right? |
Fry | But the Dark One could look like anything or anyone, right? | Hutch | Or anywhere. |
Hutch | Or anywhere. | Fry | So, what's your plan to recognize it? |
Fry | So, what's your plan to recognize it? | Nine | We don't have one. |
Nine | We don't have one. | Fry | Got it. |
Fry | Got it. | Hutch | Oh, man! Anyone got some tape or some gum? |
Hutch | Oh, man! Anyone got some tape or some gum? | Nine | As my colleague indicated, the plan cannot come from us, Fry. We were counting on you and your unreadable brain to come up with something. |
Nine | As my colleague indicated, the plan cannot come from us, Fry. We were counting on you and your unreadable brain to come up with something. | Fry | That was a mistake. |
Fry | That was a mistake. | Nine | I see that now. |
Nine | I see that now. | Hutch | Freaky thing is, the Dark Ones' thoughts are unreadable, just like yours. |
Hutch | Freaky thing is, the Dark Ones' thoughts are unreadable, just like yours. | Nine | Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads, we could easily locate the one other being whose mind we can't read. The Dark One! |
Nine | Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads, we could easily locate the one other being whose mind we can't read. The Dark One! | Hutch | But then the Dark One would read our minds and crush them like blood pumpkins. |
Hutch | But then the Dark One would read our minds and crush them like blood pumpkins. | Fry | Wait. I can read minds and my mind can't be read. I have a plan. |
Fry | Wait. I can read minds and my mind can't be read. I have a plan. | Nine | Great. Whatever it is, don't tell us. |
Nine | Great. Whatever it is, don't tell us. | Hutch | Wait. Fry can read minds and his mind can't be read. So he can safely scan for the Dark One... |
Hutch | Wait. Fry can read minds and his mind can't be read. So he can safely scan for the Dark One... | Nine | Shut up! Shut up! |
Nine | Shut up! Shut up! | Hutch | ...whose mind can't be read... |
Hutch | ...whose mind can't be read... | Mysterious, | Sinister Voice: Leela, time is running out. We must get to the violet star. |
Mysterious, | Sinister Voice: Leela, time is running out. We must get to the violet star. | Leela | Okay, okay. Shut up, already. |
Leela | Okay, okay. Shut up, already. | Dixie | Nobody's talking, Leela. |
Dixie | Nobody's talking, Leela. | Trixie | We're just painting each other's toenails with rat blood. |
Trixie | We're just painting each other's toenails with rat blood. | Warden | Lights out, ladies! Those compact fluorescent bulbs waste pennies a day. |
Warden | Lights out, ladies! Those compact fluorescent bulbs waste pennies a day. | Leela | Okay, feministas, all clear. |
Leela | Okay, feministas, all clear. | Amy | Whoa! |
Amy | Whoa! | Linda | We now go live to Leela with the escape plan. Leela? |
Linda | We now go live to Leela with the escape plan. Leela? | Leela | Thanks, Linda. Now we're in here because we tried to save endangered wildlife. So this time, endangered wildlife will save us. |
Leela | Thanks, Linda. Now we're in here because we tried to save endangered wildlife. So this time, endangered wildlife will save us. | Amy | The Martian muck leech. |
Amy | The Martian muck leech. | Leela | Little cutie almost sucked me dry. |
Leela | Little cutie almost sucked me dry. | LaBarbara | Look at him go. Like a green snake through a sugarcane cake. |
LaBarbara | Look at him go. Like a green snake through a sugarcane cake. | Hermes | (on her cell phone): Keep trying. |
Hermes | (on her cell phone): Keep trying. | Morbo | Our top story. The universe's most wanted eco-feminists are now behind bars, including gang leader, Turanga Leela. AKA, the Notorious B-I-Itch. |
Morbo | Our top story. The universe's most wanted eco-feminists are now behind bars, including gang leader, Turanga Leela. AKA, the Notorious B-I-Itch. | Zoidberg | We finished un-pinking the ship, Hubert. Now what? |
Zoidberg | We finished un-pinking the ship, Hubert. Now what? | Farnsworth | Now we get back to work. And if that means destroying an ecosystem or two, so be it. |
Farnsworth | Now we get back to work. And if that means destroying an ecosystem or two, so be it. | Zoidberg | I just meant without our good friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robut. |
Zoidberg | I just meant without our good friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robut. | Farnsworth | Oh, boo-hoo. This is a business, not a social club. Money talks. |
Farnsworth | Oh, boo-hoo. This is a business, not a social club. Money talks. | Lincoln | (on a $5 bill): True wealth is measured in friendships. |
Lincoln | (on a $5 bill): True wealth is measured in friendships. | Farnsworth | Shut up, you. |
Farnsworth | Shut up, you. | Scruffy | Life goes on. But I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside. |
Scruffy | Life goes on. But I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside. | Amy | Oh, no, a rooster! That indicates it's the following morning. |
Amy | Oh, no, a rooster! That indicates it's the following morning. | LaBarbara | How's that creepy crawler doing? |
LaBarbara | How's that creepy crawler doing? | Leela | I'm sorry, femi-sisters, but it pooped out around 3:00 a.m. Poor thing couldn't take another bite. |
Leela | I'm sorry, femi-sisters, but it pooped out around 3:00 a.m. Poor thing couldn't take another bite. | Amy | Well, I guess we failed. But what matters is, we tried our best and we looked good doing it. |
Amy | Well, I guess we failed. But what matters is, we tried our best and we looked good doing it. | Amy | Bender, is that you? |
Amy | Bender, is that you? | Bender | Who does it look like? My identical cousin Buster? |
Bender | Who does it look like? My identical cousin Buster? | Amy | Yes. |
Amy | Yes. | Leela | You're here to break us out? But you're the one who put us in. |
Leela | You're here to break us out? But you're the one who put us in. | Bender | But I'm Bender, king of the combination shot. I put you in so that by busting you out, I could commit 15 felonies at once. Puttin' my rap sheet miles ahead of yours on the all-time chart. |
Bender | But I'm Bender, king of the combination shot. I put you in so that by busting you out, I could commit 15 felonies at once. Puttin' my rap sheet miles ahead of yours on the all-time chart. | Leela | You are one devious bastard. |
Leela | You are one devious bastard. | Leela | What about the sentries? |
Leela | What about the sentries? | Bender | Already taken care of. I sent them a cake laced with nutmeg. That's a human sleeping drug, right? |
Bender | Already taken care of. I sent them a cake laced with nutmeg. That's a human sleeping drug, right? | Amy | No, it's a human baking drug. |
Amy | No, it's a human baking drug. | Leela | Okay, Plan B. Everyone knows men have one fatal weakness - they can't resist hookers. Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do. |
Leela | Okay, Plan B. Everyone knows men have one fatal weakness - they can't resist hookers. Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do. | Mr. | Wong: Ladies and gentleman and whatever, welcome to my most environmentally disastrous implosion ever: a whole star system! |
Mr. | Wong: Ladies and gentleman and whatever, welcome to my most environmentally disastrous implosion ever: a whole star system! | Zapp | Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on your shoulders for a better view? |
Zapp | Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on your shoulders for a better view? | Kif | Well, actually, sir, I was hoping... |
Kif | Well, actually, sir, I was hoping... | Zap | Thanks. |
Zap | Thanks. | Mr. | Wong: My associate Philip Fry here will have honor to blow this ugly, dirty star into nice, clean black hole. |
Mr. | Wong: My associate Philip Fry here will have honor to blow this ugly, dirty star into nice, clean black hole. | Mr. | Wong: Fry, careful those wires. What you doing down there? |
Mr. | Wong: Fry, careful those wires. What you doing down there? | Fry | Just polishing your shoes, Mr. W. |
Fry | Just polishing your shoes, Mr. W. | Mr. | Wong: Mmm, that nice. Get between the toes there, very dirty. |
Mr. | Wong: Mmm, that nice. Get between the toes there, very dirty. | Bender | Well, so much for Plan B. |
Bender | Well, so much for Plan B. | Leela | What's Plan C? |
Leela | What's Plan C? | Bender | All situations have the same Plan C. Bending, come on. |
Bender | All situations have the same Plan C. Bending, come on. | Leela, | Bender. It's a brick wall. |
Leela, | Bender. It's a brick wall. | Bender | Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables, but I'm so great! |
Bender | Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables, but I'm so great! | Amy | Dogs! The boning continues! |
Amy | Dogs! The boning continues! | Bender | Green Bluebird, this is Mr. Fabulous. We are go for cheesing it. |