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Cop Morty: |
Oh, Grandpa Rick! I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore! I want to be a regular kid! I want to go to school and throw balls around and masturbate! |
Cop Rick: |
Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. |
Rick J-22: |
A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon. |
Rick J-22: |
A portal to the Blender Dimension?! That's the oldest trick in the book! I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you!! |
Rick J-22: |
Then come and get me, motherfuckers!! |
Rick J-22: |
Rick. And I'm-- |
Rick J-22: |
Fifteen years. |
Rick J-22: |
Where are we going? |
Narrator: |
There's a Rick who held a factory hostage after murdering his boss and several co-workers. The factory made cookies, flavored him with lies. |
Narrator: |
He made us all take a look at what we were doing, and at the bargain he got a taste of real freedom. |
Narrator: |
We captured that taste, and we keep giving it to him so he can give it right back to you, in every bite of new Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects. Come home to the unique flavor of shattering the grand illusion. Come home to Simple Rick. |
Slick: |
After you. |
Lizard Morty: |
I guess I wish I had something cooler than this dumbass surfer necklace. |
Glasses Morty: |
I wish incest porn h-had a more mainstream appeal, f-for a friend of mine. |
Slick: |
None of those things are gonna happen, y'know. Morty wishes never come true. Not on the Citadel. |
Lizard Morty: |
Then why did you bring us here? |
Slick: |
Because I wish that would change. I wish anything about this life would change. |
Glasses Morty: |
Well, I hope you're putting something pretty goddamn important in there. |
Slick: |
Me, too. But I doubt it. |
Glasses Morty: |
NOOOOOOOO!!!! |
Lizard Morty: |
SLI-I-I-I-I-I-I-ICK!!!! |
Glasses Morty: |
Maybe... Maybe he went somewhere nice. |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
He gotta be stopped... He-he cou-couldn't be allowed to win. |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
He's alive?! No, no, no! You gotta listen to me! I-I worked for him! I was his campaign manager! That Morty is not what he seems. |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
He... won? |
Cop Rick: |
Why am I still here? I already confessed to everything. |
Cop Rick: |
But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes! |
Glasses Morty: |
Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks? |
Teacher Rick: |
No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing. |
Glasses Morty: |
To what? |
Teacher Rick: |
I don't know, and I don't have to know. I've been fired. Good luck, turds. |
Lizard Morty: |
Holy crap... Slick's wish came true. |
Rick: |
Whoa!! Hahaha, yeah! Atlantis, baby! |