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Morty 2: |
It was the Mortytown Locos, man! The Mortytown Locos! |
Cop Rick: |
Do you realize how many codes you just violated? |
Cop Morty: |
Aw geez, Rick. What do I know about knowin’ stuff? Get in the fucking car. |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
Can we fact-check this, please? Never mind, who am I kidding? This race is over. |
Candidate Morty: |
I don’t see a divide between Ricks and Mortys. |
Candidate Morty: |
You guys finished? The division I see is between the Ricks and Mortys that like the Citadel divided, and the rest of us. I see it everywhere I go. |
Candidate Morty: |
I see it in our schools, where they teach Mortys we’re all the same because they’re threatened by what makes us unique. |
Candidate Morty: |
I see it in our streets, where they give guns to Mortys so we’re too busy fighting each other to fight real injustice. |
Candidate Morty: |
I see it in our factories, where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss’s salary, even though they’re identical and have the same IQ. The Citadel’s problem isn’t homeless Mortys or outraged Ricks. |
Candidate Morty: |
The Citadel’s problem is the Ricks and Mortys feeding on the Citadel’s debt. |
Rick J-22: |
Holy shit. |
Candidate Morty: |
But I’ve got a message for them, from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive. A message… from the Ricks and Mortys that believe in this Citadel to the Ricks and Mortys that don’t |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
Holy shit. I don’t believe it! I-I can’t believe it! |
Candidate Morty: |
I know. That’s why you’re fired. |
Rick J-22: |
Your life is a lie, man. All your lives are lies! Don’t you get it?! They told us we were special because we were Ricks, but they stripped us of anything that made us unique! |
Rick J-22: |
I-I-I want a portal gun. Unregistered, untraceable, with enough fluid to take me off this goddamn prison! |
Candidate Morty: |
Yes? |
Candidate Morty: |
Gosh. We moved around so much it’s hard to remember. I see every Rick as my Rick. |
Candidate Morty: |
I hope they see me as their Morty. |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
Another, please, with less water. |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
I guess I shoulda had more faith. |
Campaign Manager Morty: |
What’s this? |
Cop Rick: |
Hands in the air! |
Cop Morty: |
You guys doin’ a little chemistry homework with Grandpa? |
Cop Rick: |
Is this what I think it is? |
Cop Morty: |
Bootleg portal fluid. |
Cop Morty: |
Guess his math was off. Search the place. |
Cop Rick: |
It’s okay, Morty. |
Cop Morty: |
Jesus! |
Cop Rick: |
He stabbed me! He got me bad, Morty. |
Cop Morty: |
Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay. |
Cop Rick: |
You were right… Everything I learned in the academy was-- |
Cop Morty: |
It doesn’t matter. Nothing’s wrong with putting your faith in a Morty. You just gotta pick the right one. |
Cop Rick: |