text
stringlengths 0
1.11k
|
|---|
You know what? That was all a test, Morty. Just an elaborate test to make you more assertive. |
Morty: |
It was? |
Rick: |
Sure. Why not? I don’t, I don't know. Y-you know what, Mo— |
Morty: |
Um... |
Jerry: |
I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight. Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer? |
Summer: |
Oh my God, his head is in his food. I'm going to puke. |
Beth: |
Morty, are you getting sick? I told you not to practice-kiss the living room pillow. The dog sleeps on it. |
Morty: |
I wasn't kissing a pillow, mom. I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something. |
Summer: |
Or maybe you were out all night again with Grandpa Rick. |
Jerry: |
What? |
Beth: |
Dad? |
Rick: |
What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time? |
Jerry: |
Damn it! |
Beth: |
Jerry! |
Jerry: |
Beth! |
Summer: |
Oh my god, my parents are so loud, I want to die. |
Rick: |
Mm, there is no God, Summer. You gotta rip that band-aid off now. You'll thank me later. |
Jerry: |
Okay, with all due respect, Rick— what am I talking about? What respect is due? How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole? |
Rick: |
Listen, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you something—tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time. Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, "two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the—then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue. This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them. |
Beth: |
Oh, dad… |
Jerry: |
What? For real? |
Mr. Goldenfold: |
Alright, now, everybody get settled. Get away from the windows! |
Mr. Goldenfold: |
Now, look, we're gonna be dealing with some real serious stuff today. You might have heard of it. It's called math? And without it, none of us would even exist, so let's jump right in. Two plus two. |
Morty: |
Jessica. |
Mr. Goldenfold: |
Five plus five. |
Morty: |
Jessica. |
Mr. Goldenfold: |
Okay, good. It's time for the quiz. |
Mr. Goldenfold: |
Yeah, you know what?! Aw, too bad! Tough! First row, take one. Pass it back for me. The stakes are high in this room. There's crucial things happening here every day. People getting smarter. Some of y'all getting dumber. Some of y'all ain't gonna see 3 |
Jessica: |
Hi, Morty. |
Morty: |
Whoa! Hi, Jessica. |
Jessica: |
Can I show these to you? |
Morty: |
Wow. Th-they're both great. Thank you! |
Jessica: |
You know what I named these? My little Morties. |
Morty: |
Uh, that's flattering... and a little weird. |