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derek-thomas

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I (23M) asked a girl the night before if she wanted to get some coffee at a café next to our class building. I asked if 9:30 AM was good, she said perfect. Meet you at 9:30. The next day I get there at 9:20 and I wait till about 9:35 and she still hasn’t showed up, I assumed she had flaked, overslept, or just completely forgot. I ended up grabbing my coffee and went to class, and she showed up to class about 5 minutes after. Later I found out she had been waiting in the library for me to text her to let her know that I was at the cafe. When she didn’t see me at the meeting spot, she thought that I forgot about meeting her for coffee, and saw me in class 5 minutes later drinking coffee at my desk. I showed up at the agreed meeting time but she assumed I would text her to let her know I was there. Am I the asshole?

sixtytwopointnine

AITA For Showing Up At The Meeting Place On Time?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvnh6/aita_for_showing_up_at_the_meeting_place_on_time/

17lvnh6

For context, I’m a 21F living at home. I have four siblings, and my mom and dad. So I’ve been seeing this busser after work. I have driven him home, and we’ve kissed a bunch. It’s been like this for a month. I was kinda embarrassed, so I didn’t tell anyone about him in my family. On halloween, I told my mom for the first time that I’ve been seeing this guy and was gonna go out with him after work. She said ok, but make sure you don’t drink and drive and keep in touch. After work, I went to his house, where it was just him. I texted my mom I was gonna stay the night. She was mad and said I’ll pick you up. I said I was old enough to decide, and didn’t respond to her until the morning. Everyone in my family is extremely mad at me now.. but I viewed it as a fun night, and as a 21 y/o able to decide what I wanted to do. So should they be mad at me? I still don’t think so

Lurshie

AITA for telling my family about a guy, then that same day sleeping at his house?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvp3r/aita_for_telling_my_family_about_a_guy_then_that/

17lvp3r

Throw away account. Also on mobile. I am getting married next October. I recently purchased a wedding dress. It’s black. I absolutely adore it. I have an alternative style. This is not news to anyone. My fiancé knew it was possible I might get black. He was totally on board. But it was a surprise, I wasn’t going to tell him what color I got. Anyways. Mother in law asked if I got a dress. I said yes. That it’s black. I didn’t even SHOW her a photo. She is Filipino and catholic so I knew she would not like my dress but I made my choice anyway. It’s my dress, not hers. I fully expected her to tell me she does not like it, that’s fine. But she started to freak out, saying my dress MUST be white and it absolutely CANNOT be black. I told her no it IS black. She asked if my fiancé knew. I told her that he knew it was a possibility but that it’s a surprise for our wedding day. She said no that I have to tell him and that he will hate the dress. She then asked if my mom had seen the dress. I said yes and she likes it. She said and I quote “no she doesn’t like it, and if your dad were still alive, he would hate your dress.” For some context; my dad passed away from cancer 3 months ago. I helped care for him on hospice until he passed away. We were very close so his death has been devastating to say the least. I am still greatly grieving and even typing this hurts my heart and brings tears to my eyes. She is FULLY aware of the whole situation. I know she hasn’t “forgotten” this because right before this awful conversation, she asked me “you’re always sad, quiet, and depressed, is it cause you’re still grieving?” No SHIT. “You lost weight, is it cause your dad died?” No SHIT. So for her to say that was beyond below the belt. I feel like I hate her, and will never like her. After she said that to me, I went into my room and shut the door. She proceeded to text me 3 more times saying “your daddy will not be happy to see you in that dress” , “you can do a pastel color too, just not black.” and also “what dress should I wear?” Like I give a shit after what she said. I called fiance crying because the comments about my dad deeply upset me. Mind you, she has never even met my parents, not once. I know my dad knows me, loves me, is proud of me, and would think I looked pretty. He knows me and that I would choose something black. My mom thinks it’s pretty! My fiancé came home and bitched her out and told her to not speak to me like that, he told me she tried to apologize to him but he told her she needs to apologize to me, which she still hasn’t. She also told him my dress is black and spoiled the surprise. He apologized profusely and told me we did not have to invite her to the wedding if I do not wish to. This also happened 2 days ago so I am still emotional. So, WIBTA to not invite her? TL;DR; WIBTA to not invite my MIL to our wedding because she told me my father who passed away 3 months ago (she’s fully aware) would hate my wedding dress because it’s black?

LoudExplanation4012

WIBTA to not invite MIL to my wedding?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvrae/wibta_to_not_invite_mil_to_my_wedding/

17lvrae

Relevant context: My parents live 1,600 miles away…while my sibling lives one town over. I’m the only family that lives close. My partner and I own a home that has a spare bedroom. My sibling lives in a small apartment that can’t accommodate my parents. ——————————————————————————— My sibling and his partner are expecting their first child early spring 2024. They both live paycheck to paycheck and have no real savings. It was also disclosed to me that there was a lapse in the birth control prescription and they took no precautions during this period….needless to say the child wasn’t conceived in a responsible, planned manner. My mother made a comment the other day that she planned on coming out and staying with us a month prior to the due date to “assist with the last month of pregnancy” and expected to stay for ~ 3 months in total. I made the comment that that would not be happening and we’d instead be happy to have them for two weeks so they could be here for the birth of the child….this caused my mother to cry and my sibling to tell me I’m “insensitive and uncaring”. My father has also made a couple snarky comments as well which suggests he thinks we’re being unreasonable. Are we being assholes by only offering to house my parents for two weeks, essentially limiting the amount of help my sibling and his gf will receive with the newborn child?

Typical_Jags_Fan

AITA for only letting my parents stay at my house for two weeks for the birth of their first grandchild (my niece/nephew)?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvrhh/aita_for_only_letting_my_parents_stay_at_my_house/

17lvrhh

I (28f) am a doctor, more specifically an ObGyn working primarily in the delivery room right now. My mom used to work as a head of department in a student's service organisation, so basically a typical office job, although more demanding as she had some coworkers under her. She doesn't know my schedule which of course consists of many shifts. A few weeks ago, she called me twice at about noon while I was working, so I didn't pick up. Not even an hour later I received a passive aggressive WhatsApp asking the lines of "Would be nice if you could be available or at least call back". When I saw that the hours later, I called her and asked what was up. It was nothing, she just wanted to talk. She asked why I wouldn't call her back and I kind of snapped and said that I have no idea how she didn't even think of the possibility I might be working, to which she responded that I surely still have a few minutes to call back. The point is, no, I haven't. If there is a lot to do in the delivery room, you might as well work for hours straight without a break. Minutes can basically decide over life or death. So I told her that working in my field is a bit different from working in an office. She got angry and said that she also had stressful days at work but still. I gave up explaining and just hung up and she still brings this up almost every time we talk and seems angry about it. So, AITA?

Ok_Ocelot1589

AITA for telling my mother my job is more demanding than hers?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvv5r/aita_for_telling_my_mother_my_job_is_more/

17lvv5r

last year i (21F) started hanging out with my bf (23m) a little bit before his bday. i didn’t see him on his bday and i didn’t get him a gift, but we were already dating before my birthday. i told him that i wanted a tattoo that would’ve been around 250 for my bday and we decided we could do it after christmas. for my bday me and my family went out to eat and i only got a couple of gifts from my aunt which is fine i understand christmas ruins everything but gift giving is my love language and it hurts my feelings that i go above and beyond for everyone else birthday but i don’t get anything for mine. anyway i made a xmas list that i sent to my boyfriend and he ended up getting me something else not from that list bc his mom and sister said i would love it. it was a nice gift and i didn’t say anything about it, but i would’ve liked something that i picked more than something they picked which is why i made a list. january comes around and my bf still doesn’t pay for my tattoo, february still nothing. at this point i’m bringing it up a lot bc why didn’t u get me anything for my birthday? i said u could get my gift in january but i still haven’t gotten anything that’s a little mean? so finally in march my bf got me a charm bracelet but when he gave it to me he said “so u can shut up abt it already” he also didn’t get me any charms even tho he could’ve gotten me a 21 charm. obviously it hurt my feelings and i don’t consider it a birthday gift because of what he said. when his moms birthday came up it didn’t matter how much money he had he managed to get her what she wanted. his sisters bday came up and again even tho he was having money troubles he still got her a gift she wanted too. i was debating whether or not i should even get my bf a gift because he didn’t get me anything for my bday but i still bought him 2 gifts and took him to a restaurant and paid over $140 for both our meals. im not rich and had been having money problems but i made it happen i didn’t complain i did what i had to do to make sure he felt special on his birthday. after his bday i told him how important it is for me to get gifts on my bday because i never got any when i was younger and had to share a bday. i was a kid and it was horrible and to make everything worse my dad stopped talking to me cause he had a new kid with a bday the day after mine. it’s a sore subject for me and i made sure he knew that. well we just had our anniversary and again he didn’t get me anything. he got me flowers after i yelled at him. but he didn’t have to yell at me for him to get a gift for his bday. his mom didn’t have to yell at him for her to get a gift or his sister so what the hell. it legitimately makes me mad and i tried to tell him that and he said i was bipolar… i already know he isn’t gonna get me anything for my bday either and i feel dumb for being upset about it but it really hurts my feelings. am i in the wrong here?

throwaway8675218

AITA for being upset i didn’t get any gifts?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvwh8/aita_for_being_upset_i_didnt_get_any_gifts/

17lvwh8

I’m a 19M and my boyfriend is as well. We recently had gotten our own place about a month ago and we are settling into our home, I’ve been enjoying living alone. I always lived in a house with at least 6 or more people my whole life. Before we had gotten our own place the last place was 10 people. (We lived with him family). So now that I have my own place and it’s only us two I feel a lot more relaxed then before as I would never leave my room before at the previous house, not even to eat. Yesterday my boyfriend had told me that his uncle and aunt asked him if they could move in with us while they found a new place of their own. They are currently living with my boyfriends parents but they have mentioned to us that they feel bad hogging their home from them. This is what upsets me and where I might be the asshole. I had told my boyfriend “if they feel bad living with them and they genuinely enjoy their company, how would they be at peace being in my house knowing I’ll be super uncomfortable”. My whole boyfriends family knows how I am about my space because I have always lived with so many people, so it’s not like it’s something they wouldn’t know. My boyfriend agreed with me and said that he also didn’t want them to move in as they already have a stable place and he would also feel uncomfortable. Though my boyfriend is a very giving guy and finding it hard to say no, he said that ultimately it was my choice and he wouldn’t judge my decision. He also said that if my answer was a no that I would be the one to tell them. I agreed and thought about it all day while at work. If I were to have them living with us for a little while I would charge them rent and utilities. I think this is something fair because we are only two people and at the previous house rent and bills were divided amongst many people so between rent food and bills everyone was relatively at peace. Where they are at currently they don’t pay rent but only help with food every now and then. They are not lazy and are both very hard working so I’m not worried about them not doing anything to helot around the house. My main concern is losing the peace I have only had momentarily. At the end I’m really leaning towards no, but I am looking at houses for rent and trying to find anything that may help them. AITA for not letting them move in? Edit: I discussed with my boyfriend and he agreed that pushing it onto me was a bad move and that he would be the one to say no to them if that’s what I ultimately decide. Also should have mentioned this from the beginning but his aunt and uncle are 24-26. So it’s not a huge age difference.

The_lonely_ghost

AITA for not letting my boyfriends uncle move in with me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvy7p/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriends_uncle_move_in/

17lvy7p

Since I was young, I have always liked to read a book in the mornings when I’m eating my breakfast. I didn’t grow up in a normal close family who ate breakfast together, and was pretty much single my whole life till I met my wife. So, I’m not sure how normal this habit is, or how rude it is if I’m eating breakfast at the same table with other people really. After I got married it was never really an issue as I had to get up very early for work so had breakfast before my wife. But lately it has become somewhat of an issue. I changed jobs about 4 years ago and started having breakfast with my wife and kids (5, 7, and 9). I carried on reading my book while eating my cereal and fruit, but about 18 months ago my wife suddenly told me to stop it because it is rude to her and the children. I put my book down that day, but I thought that she was probably upset about some other issue (it was part of a longer quarrel I’ve since forgotten) so I sat down the next day with my book again. But she stopped me reading again. I have tried to read with my breakfast once or twice in the intervening period, but I got told not to again and again. So, I have just given up now. I’m aware this probably makes my wife sound like some sort of breakfast-time-reading-nazi which is a bit unfair on her as she is kind and loves her family a lot... But it is an accurate report of the actual situation. I can understand her perspective actually. I guess she grew up in a close family which sat down to each meal together and talked while eating, and she wants the same for our family. I want to be an open and communicative family as well. From my perspective, I don’t feel that my reading a book at the breakfast table is poor behaviour though. The TV is always on in the mornings; the kids are always watching the children’s programmes while eating, and no one is really talking much, unlike dinnertime (no TV or books). So, I feel I should be free to read or do whatever I want as I eat my cereal. My wife makes makes the point of how I'd feel if the kids started reading at the table in the future, or drawing pictures, or playing games on their phones. I understand the point she is making about setting an example, but I reply that (though I’d probably prefer the kids not to use phones over breakfast), basically, if doing one of those things while eating breakfast makes someone happy and puts them in a good frame of mind for the day ahead, I’m fine with it. I know this is a very minor issue, but it’s fairly important for me. Before ‘the ban’, I used to read over a book a week, but since then it’s more like a book a month. I just feel so exhausted after work and household chores, I can’t focus on reading anything challenging in the evening. The mornings are when I want to read. On the other hand, I have to respect my wife’s opinions and wishes, and I want to be a close family. I’m interested in people’s opinions and experiences around similar arguments.

Key-Story-1666

AITA for reading at the breakfast table?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lw08t/aita_for_reading_at_the_breakfast_table/

17lw08t

Me and my wife of 20 years share a 16 year old, a junior in high school. He is a smart, normal kid who is healthy physically and mentally and has an active social life with lots of friends. My wife has always been very strict about certain video games, especially Fortnite. My son hated these rules in middle school but wife was very strict about them and he eventually stopped asking. He hasn’t brought the topic up in several years. Yesterday, my wife found my son playing Fortnite with his friends (on a Nintendo switch that he bought with his own money). He was playing in his room after he had finished his homework/chores for the day. She freaked out and yelled at him, saying that he was still not allowed to play Fortnite or any other video games like it. I heard the noise and came into his room. I quickly sided with my son and told my wife that he is old enough to play a game like Fortnite, especially if he is playing with his friends. I said that while those rules were good for him in middle school, they are now outdated and need to be dropped. She stormed out of the room and has not spoken to either of us since then. AITA for disagreeing and arguing with her in front of my son? Should I have spoken to and disagreed with her privately? Is she right about the entire situation and that my son shouldn't be able to play Fortnite with his friends?

Disastrous-Zombie394

AITA for arguing with wife in front of our son over a childish rule she has in place?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lw2qc/aita_for_arguing_with_wife_in_front_of_our_son/

17lw2qc

Edit: thanks for the support everyone, I just wanted to give a nice gift and now I feel better about that. Also, my partner is non binary and uses they/them pronouns for anyone mentioning them in the comments tyvm :) I (25f) bought my partner (21nb) a “just because” gift which was a couple bottles of Prime, some Feastables, and a V-Bucks gift card. I was telling my friend about this and they called me disgusting and said that I was “minor coding” my partner by buying them things for “a 13 year old boy” I was really just trying to do something nice because my partner has mentioned liking these things in the past but now idk. Is “minor coding” like this a thing? I am so confused and would like to hear some other opinions

gonepiplupclubbing

AITA for “minor coding” my partner with a gift?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lw6t6/aita_for_minor_coding_my_partner_with_a_gift/

17lw6t6

I (15f) have a bf (15m) Today I was gonna hang out with my boyfriend, we had hung out on Halloween though, and I didn’t know how my mom would react if I asked her to see him again for the second time in a row. I am very scared of disappointing my family, but now I realise that lying disappointed them more. Me and my bf were planning to hang out, but last minute his dad and step- mom wanted to tag along, and bring us out to dinner so I could properly meet them. Me being the person I am (not confrontational) wrote out a message to my mom but didn’t send it, which was my first mistake. Then I made the stupid decision of lying to her. I will admit how guilty I am. My mom of course found out I lied to her. But my boyfriend had already bussed about an hour to come see me and it’s pretty cold out. I asked my mom if I could see him anyway and apologised to her. She said yes, but that meant I couldn’t go out for dinner. So, I had told him. I felt so guilty that I had to tell him we couldn’t go out for dinner but could still hang out. We hung out, but his dad got mad at him and told him he was “hurting his family” which I think is far from the truth. I knew he had issues with his dad, but this showed how bad it was. The way he could react to the simplest of things in such a way truly makes me wonder why some people decide to become parents. No amount of apologies can explain how bad I feel for what I have caused. Am I the Ahole?

Frequent-Cod-6110

AITA for lying to my parents and getting my bf in trouble for it?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwfdo/aita_for_lying_to_my_parents_and_getting_my_bf_in/

17lwfdo

I know school busses are a touchy subject. As a mother of 3 under 7 I understand. A couple of days ago I got a call from a trooper saying I didn't stop for a stopped school bus. It was called in by a witness not the driver. I was driving and the bus came over the hill there were 2 driveways next to each other I'm not sure which one it stopped at. I slowed down and past it watching for lights or it to stop. It hadn't stopped till I had past it completely and then the red lights and sign came out after. I'm facing a 60 day license suspension, 5 points and $300 fine. My oldest has epilepsy and I have to help chaperone her field trips and volunteer. She has a 504 plan. I will lose my clearances. I'm a single mother and provider so losing my license will ruin me. I emailed the schools transportation department requesting a video from the bus camera but haven't received a response in 3 days. The trooper did tell me to have a hearing and plead my case and the witnesses hardly ever show up. But I'm just so nervous..

OpportunityNo7765

AITA for passing a moving bus.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwgi5/aita_for_passing_a_moving_bus/

17lwgi5

This is the first time I’ve made a post, so please don’t judge the grammar. So let’s give my exfriends names one will be JM and the other will be TW. Also I have 3 other groomsmen so I’m not standing by myself. Last year I proposed to my fiancé who is now going to be my wife in a few days. TW was there when I proposed and seemed very happy and excited for me to get married. JM seemed like it too. In the next couple weeks after I proposed , me and my fiancé had picked out a date and I had picked out my groomsmen, so I asked JM and TW. They both said yes and were excited that I even asked him to be in the wedding. After I asked JM He said, bro we should definitely all get fitted together. Which sounded like a good idea but when it came time to do it, they didn’t fall through.So we all got them done separately which was no problem took 2 minutes to get fitted anyways. Couple months later me and my fiancé instead of having separate bachelor and bachelorette party’s we had one together JM came but TW didn’t. A week after that, it was time to make a $70 deposit on our tuxedos. They almost missed the deadline for the deposits. Now here we are the week of the wedding and it’s time to pick up our tuxedos. Pick ups are three days before the wedding and you make the full payment when you pick up. I let them know a week in advance when pick ups was. They both missed those days and I asked them why they had both said they other things going on. to my knowledge it was nothing crazy or any family members past for them to miss those deadlines. so after that, I clearly seen that it wasn’t a priority for them to be in the wedding so I told them not to come. AITAH?

Gucci_101

AITAH For uninviting two of my groomsmen?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwi36/aitah_for_uninviting_two_of_my_groomsmen/

17lwi36

In a complicated series of events, my younger sibling and I inherited a farm several years ago when they were still a young child and I was freshly 18. I admittedly detached from the situation as much as possible because between the younger sibling calling the shots and our parents being involved I did not feel like I had much of a say in anything and things became complicated. I have always been passive with them and it was easier to let them do what they wanted, or at least that’s how I felt. Any time I brought something to the table I was shot down and I just stopped even trying. It was a very difficult situation to be thrown into at that age. I had always thought that younger sibling wanted to farm the land as their career and I was willing to let that happen and mostly stand on the sidelines. Long story short, not much has happened with the land and I feel guilty that I didn’t try more before. I have a family now and I see an opportunity for my children to grow up there instead of nothing happening. For many reasons, I do not feel comfortable investing all my family’s time and resources into this place unless it is legally split. I was willing to let sibling choose their part and even give myself the short end of the stick since they do have a little more time and emotional investment in the place. As a family we have never been able to communicate effectively and it has shown with this land, never able to figure anything out and work together. Sibling and trustee parent say I am being unfair and selfish for deciding now that I do not wanting to invest time or resources unless we split the land, but I just do not have the trust to be able to do that after feeling pushed around and into decisions over the years. I have grown a lot and have started setting boundaries for myself and this is something I do not want to back down on. I understand it is painful for them but it has been painful for me all these years, so either way somebody walks away with feelings hurt. I personally feel like this is the only way to wipe the slate of the complicated mess we have been put in, and try to build back a relationship where I don’t feel like I have to please everyone at my own expense. There’s so much more to the story but in short, AITA for I guess forcing sibling to split the land?

whd40

AITA for wanting to split inherited land

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwp1p/aita_for_wanting_to_split_inherited_land/

17lwp1p

I (26F) am 7 months pregnant and my sister want to throw me a baby shower. My SIL was pregnant at the same time but she sadly lost her baby about a month ago and has been (understandingly) devastated since. My husband approached me last night and ask me if I could let his sister organize the baby shower instead of mine but I told him that it was too late as my sister had everything planned already. He then asked me if I could tell my sister to cancel everything so that his sister could handle it. I told him once again that it was impossible and that I doubt his sister would even want to organize somebody’s else baby shower. He thinks that organizing our baby shower will help his sister move forward and heal a little bit, i told him that as somebody who miscarried I would’ve hated to throw somebody’s baby shower a month after it. He said my experience was not universal and then proceeded to call me selfish. We had dinner with her recently and when my MIL brought up our pregnancy, she left the table. That’s why HE thinks that preparing our baby shower could help her and it’s why I think it’d be the opposite. I also don’t wanna bring it up with her because I don’t know how she’ll react and I’m scared she’ll thinks I’m throwing my pregnancy in her face.

babyshowerbySIL221

AITA for not wanting my SIL to organize my baby shower?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwqlw/aita_for_not_wanting_my_sil_to_organize_my_baby/

17lwqlw

Little backstory: I 26F live at home with my Mother (53F) and up until last year so did my brother 23F along with my cat (calico/Lawful Evil) and my brothers dog (ginger/Chaotic Neutral). I work Tuesday-Saturday as a retail manager. This means that I get Sunday and Mondays off. When everyone was at home, this didn't impact much as I would hang out with my friends Saturday Night or Sunday. But since my brother moved out, I have had to give up my social life. I had to give it up as my mother is a free spirit who wants to go away for weekends which I fully support as she is single and doesn't have anyone to hold her back like she did when my brother and I relied on her for everything. My brother refuses to stay at mums house for weekends or even be with his dog and doing what needs to be sorted (spend time with him, feed and let him out etc) which means that I end up having to cancel on all plans my friends want to make so that I can be home to make sure the dog is alright. I understand that my brother has weird work hours, I also have not you average work days and I get that he can't have dogs at his flat; but I hate that I am the one who is giving her life up to stay at home for a pet that isn't even hers. Don't get me wrong, I do love that overgrown chaos demon (dog) and he's absolutely amazing, but I didn't sign up for this, he did (and technically our mother as he was 17 at the time) when he was begging for a dog. I spend my days off chilling with him, take him for walks and make sure he has what he needs, all while my brother turns up home once in a while and stays for maybe five minutes with the dog, uses the bathroom, makes a travel coffee then leaves. All I want is to be able to leave work on a saturday and go straight to the pub to be with my friends and destress from the week I had just dealt with and not have any worries or anything stopping me from doing so, but I have had to cancel all plans because I ended up having to be home looking after the Ginger Menace (Dog) while the rest of my family get to go out and away with no hesitation. So... AITA for wanting to go out and hang out with my friends? and WIBTA if I forced my brothers hand to finally take responsibility for his dog through a passive aggressive message (as he doesn't talk to me cos we clash too much) (tbh I would get our mother to do it as its her house and he actually replies to her) ​ for clarification so I don't get too judged for living at home at 26: I am chronically ill that up until the last year has been holding me back from living my life to the fullest extent (still not 100% there but more or less able to cosplay as an able bodied person most days) and I am in the waiting stage of moving overseas (only four months to go eeep) and saving is easiest at home while i still pull my own weight around the place. Yes I work full time and I take care of all aspects of my pet cat when needed.

AddendumHaunting_

AITA for wanting my social life back

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwskt/aita_for_wanting_my_social_life_back/

17lwskt

My BF (24M) has a low paying job. He spends most of his paycheck on EMIs of his new phone and repaying credit cards. I (23F) left my job a few months ago to get another degree. Whenever my bf comes to meet me (we live 20 mins from each other), I have to pay for his cab everytime because he runs out of money very soon after receiving his paycheck. However, he somehow always arranges money for buying weed. He would also ask me to lend for certain other things when there is an "emergency" (going out with friends, money to buy more weed), and by now I have lent him about 70k (USD 1500) over more than a year. He says he will return it to me through his next salary little by little, but even when he does return a little, he would just run out of money again and I have to lend him one more time. Yesterday, he got a little money from a side project he got. And well, he didn't spare anytime to call up his dealer and use up all that money to buy get more weed. He agreed to having a weed addiction but he doesn't want to do much about it. I told him I will no longer be lending him money, not even for his cab when he comes to meet me, as I am basically having to use up my savings for him. He got mad and later apologized saying he will manage his finances better, but I dont trust him on this. Am I wrong to do that? He is ultimately using that money to come meet me and its a shared experience, much like paying for my own cup of coffee on a date. Should I just give the cab money and stop giving for other things? TLDR BF borrows a lot of money, and spends most of his money on weed and other reckless spending.

okay-what

AITA for not giving BF cab money to come meet me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwtzv/aita_for_not_giving_bf_cab_money_to_come_meet_me/

17lwtzv

I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend (25M) for two years now, and we have been friends a little bit before that. I have always talked to him about exactly what kind of engagement ring I’ve wanted. I am a very type A person and I am very particular about any jewelry that I wear. I have sent him pictures of what engagement ring that I want, and we have even gone to jewelers together in the past. He knows exactly what kind of ring I have wanted for over 2 years now, he even has access to my Pinterest board. I’ve always wanted a 3ct lab grown with claw prongs on yellow gold. I feel like it might sound dumb but I have just always wanted my dream ring. Anyways fast forward to now, I casually brought up in conversation about how much I liked my friends engagement ring. Which opened up this conversation about rings. I made a joke about how if it wasn’t my dream ring I didn’t want to get engaged. My bf flipped out and got upset because he said that he never knew how serious I was about this and explained he already bought the engagement ring. He explained that it’s 2ct and not the same prongs I wanted. I calmly explained that it’s okay, I was just confused why he didn’t think I was not being serious about the exact ring I wanted. He told me that he thought I would be happy with this ring as it was close to what I wanted and he said he always thought I was just joking about how if it wasn’t the ring I wanted then I would say no. AITA that I am honestly super disappointed that it isn’t my dream ring? Am I supposed to be grateful that he bought me something close? Background: he comes from any extremely wealthy family and money is not an issue here. Also the ring I want is not out of his budget that we have talked about. Edit: I would 100% still say yes regardless with whatever he proposed to me with. I’m just upset that he has known exactly what ring I’ve wanted for years and didn’t get it for me.

ashyelb0ws

AITA for not liking my engagement ring?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwxhp/aita_for_not_liking_my_engagement_ring/

17lwxhp

A few months ago I 21(f) had been unemployed for up to a year and my fiancé 24(m) worked all the time. I would sleep all day but always woke up an hour or two before he got home to make the bed, clean up, cooked dinner or made something up depending on the day, made him lunches for work, got his ps4 ready for games, just general prince treatment bevause I wanted to make him feel relaxed and happy after working, after all he was supporting me. Some stuff happened, we both got a different job and I was working, still am, and now he isn't working and it's been 2 months and I'm feeling honestly tired. I come home after working 7, 8 hour long shifts sometimes even open to close and come home and he is still sleeping in bed and I get he hasdepression but hardly takes his medicine and hardly does anything to help himself. I've communicated multiple times now about maybe him cleaning up instead of going 4 or 5 days on end without showering, I express it in more of a concerned for his health, I try explaining I understand he is stressed and depressed not having a job but sleeping all day is not a healthy way of coping and him getting up and moving around and doing at least 2 or 3 chores could help not only his mental sanity but mine after working all day... Like tonight he already had dinner and I came home exhausted and tired and bit irritated of working a 13 hour shift and he just continued sitting and played his gta 4 and I just went to bed then he proceeds to get irritated at me, I couldn't sleep bevause I don't like the lack of communication so I tried asking him if he could help me make dinner because I was really tired and wanted to relax and all he said was "you know how to make it yourself" and I just feel honestly slapped. I made him dinners and lunches all the time and took care of him and now I'm working full time and feel like I'm living with a roomate.... I'm trying not to be mean, I'm trying to understand his mental issues and be there for him but and I feel selfish for expecting the same standards and he says he wants to be a stay at home husband one day and I'm totally okay with that but he isn't really proving much that he could be capable of doing that.

TheFopDoodle

AITA for getting mad at my fiancé for not reciprocating the same treatment I gave him when I was unemployed ?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lwy77/aita_for_getting_mad_at_my_fiancé_for_not/

17lwy77

AITA for wanting my bf to pay attention to me? Question I (18F ) recently started a relationship with my bf ( 18M) after getting into a new one after 6 months; and recover from severe relationship trauma, and going to therapy too. I’ve been lied to my entire life and heard the same things and it’s caused major trust issues for me. Recently in this relationship I’ve started to overthink , as things some women may do. Sometimes I think abt how , my bf doesn’t know a thing about me, like my favorite color or even my own birthday, and he’s more focused on his career than me. Although he says he wants to be able to provide for us, is it wrong for me to feel upset that he doesn’t have enough time to even look at the texts I send him because he’s more absorbed in his career? He told me he doesn’t need to know those thing about me to love me, in which one way kinda is true, but he met me by looks. Only thing he knows is my looks and he could only love me for my looks? Because he doesn’t know my personality or who I am. He says I always think so negatively about him, when I don’t intend too ( he’s talking abt when I overthink that he’s gonna hurt me too). I don’t know how to feel or react to anything anymore because I worry he’s gonna be more involved with his future than me. I’m all for supporting his dream goals, but if that gets in the way of our relationship what’s the point? It’s almost like he doesn’t have time for me most times, and with time zones, it’s really difficult for me. I mean he’s doing jt so he can provide for me, but it still hurts. What are your thoughts? Am I the asshole?

Ikuseo

AITA for wanting my bf to pay attention to me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxbl7/aita_for_wanting_my_bf_to_pay_attention_to_me/

17lxbl7

Me and my family love settlers of Catan. Earlier today, me, a 15 year old male, was playing with my father and my two younger bros, one 12, Jack, and the other 9, John. There are three important things about Catan: 1. Houses have to be 2 road lengths apart. 2. Houses cut of the longest road, which if gained gives you 20% of the points needed to win. 3. You can only connect and build houses by roads of your own making. Now the story: Earlier in the game, I cut of John's road, meaning he couldn't build any houses in that direction. He and jack preceded to berate me for being mean to John and said I should place the road elsewhere. However, placing the road elsewhere would cut me of from precious resources, condemn me to a small part of the board, and not allow me the longest road. So I decided to place the road there anyway and the game continued. However, my bros where both salty and would not trade with me. Then later in the game, I placed two roads down so I could build a house and still have the longest road, and be able to expand to new horizons still. However, in the very next turn, my brother Jack traded with people so he could build a road and then build a house in a very terrible location one road away from where I was going to build my house. This meant I had wasted two roads in a game where brick (which is necessary to score points) is very rare. On top of it all, the only reason he did it was so I couldn't build the longest road, and couldn't build the house anymore. Basically, he spent time and resources to spite me. After he did that, I would have to rebuild roads and regain resources just so I could build a house somewhere else. By that time, John, Jack, and my dad would all have been way more ahead in the game. Also, if they were willing to screw me for spite, what else would they do? So I figured, if the rest of the game would be them doing thing just to spite me AND I wasted all those resources and cards for nothing, I might as well just leave the game, because either way I was going to lose. However, if I did leave the game, I could work on my 1500 word essay I had to do for English and maybe go to bed early tonight. So I decided to leave the game. Both my dad and my bros responded with outrage, saying I was being an asshole and a sore loser. Even when I showed them why continuing to play the game would be not fun and a waste of time, they continued to harass me. My dad even grounded me and took my phone! So that's why I'm here, because I wanted to make sure I wasn't being an asshole. So, reddit, Am I The Asshole for quitting a board game? Edit: Already I have a feeling I'm probably going to be the asshole lol. I know that what you deal is what you return, so I should have expected some spite. I just figured that a minor inconvenience to someone wouldn't mean that 15 minutes of gameplay and planning would be wasted in a move. Especially since rarely do we play board games and more rarely is it that I win, or even gain half as many points as them. However, I think being grounded is an overreaction, what do ya'll think? Edit Edit: I feel like I should mention my family is incredibly spiteful. If you nudge someone, they'll kick you in the shin. So it wasn't "Oh no my path is blocked, guess I'll leave," its "Oh. I see now. The rest of the game everyone will rob me, not trade with me, and block every path I take. Guess I should quit while I'm ahead."

Shadow_Engi

AITA For Quitting a Board Game?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxd8t/aita_for_quitting_a_board_game/

17lxd8t

First off I am also male. For context I let my friend borrow my car occasionally. He told me to meet him at his dorm so I could pick up my keys. I met him at the specified time and he didn’t answer. The community bathroom is right across the hall and I heard his voice, talking to his other friends. I walked in, saw that he was shaving, and said what’s up. He immediately got pissed stormed out of the bathroom, grabbed the keys from his room, and stormed back in without saying a word. I said thanks for the keys but next time don’t get pissed off and just communicate that he will be right out and ask for me to wait for him to finish up. He said that I crossed a boundary and if I hadn’t done so much for him in the past he would’ve cut ties with me immediately. Did he overreact? Or did I overstep?

FlamingTurtle5

AITA based off this interaction with my friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxh6e/aita_based_off_this_interaction_with_my_friend/

17lxh6e

Hi! So today my Mother in-law invited my wife, our 2 kids and I to spend Christmas Dinner with them, we usually spend Christmas with my parents so I thought it would be good to spend this one with hers because we just got married. When I told my mom she freaked out because "we always do it together", after explaining I'm married now and I would still very much like to go over on Christmas eve or perhaps Christmas day for bruch, she continued to freak out but now with bits of "everyone takes me for granted, I'm done doing holiday dinners!" And "well we'll just drop off the gifts so you don't have to see me" and other self depreciation. My dad messaged me PISSED saying that my mom went to bed crying and I needed to "fix it"...

ValueNo4230

AITA for not spending Christmas with my mom?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxmmj/aita_for_not_spending_christmas_with_my_mom/

17lxmmj

For starters I have a chronic condition that qualifies for handicap parking permit. It doesn’t affect my mobility in a very drastic way, just makes me tired easily, but sometimes I have really shitty days when I don’t feel like walking unless absolutely necessary bc it makes me absolutely exhausted and makes my already crappy day absolutely miserable. One day I went grocery shopping and the parking lot was absolutely crowded and as I had a shitty day I didn’t feel like walking through the whole parking lot and searching for an empty spot so I headed straight to handicap parking and fortunately there was 1 spot available. So I got my groceries and headed back to my car and there was another car standing the way it slightly blocked the regular parking spots and as I unlocked my car a woman with a mobility aid got out of the car and threw a dirty look at me. So as I said I had a shitty day and didn’t wanna deal with any more shit I clicked my tongue and gave her my meanest eye roll possible and proceeded to get in the car and drive off. I told the story to my gf and she said I’m the ah for retaliating and a bigger one for taking the handicap spot while being able to walk just fine. Edit: forgot to mention I have the permit

Inevitable-Recipe579

AITA for using a handicap parking spot?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxofy/aita_for_using_a_handicap_parking_spot/

17lxofy

AITA for being tired? I (M) have a friend (F), who we’ll call PW. PW has been my friend for a little under two years now, and we’re very close. I know quite alot about her, including that she can go on spirals about how she is a terrible person. Ever since she told me, PW would occasionally go on those fits/spirals over text, where she would say how much of a horrible person she is. i’ve never gotten mad at her for this, but shes been doing it MUCH more since july. This is relevant to later. This year, PW and I, along with another friend who we’ll call RO, planned to go trick-or-treating. I went over to her house at around 4, and put my outfit on. I kept talking about how cool this was gonna be because I had gotten permission to stay out until 7pm (my parents have to make sure i’m not too far away for too long because of some issues I have.), PW just nodded along and talked about how we were gonna get tons of candy. PW finished getting ready and we waited for RO so he could finish his costume (PW had the mask). Once we got out the house and started trick-or-treating, we all had decent fun for the first half. Eventually, at around 6ish, she would walk extremely fast and wouldnt slow down. PW got out of earshot and I had to text her to show we were behind because we were tired. She laughed at us and told us to just, “not be tired, slowpokes”. PW then said that she wasn’t waiting for us and that we should just ‘hurry tf up’. RO told me that it was fine and he went to his house, which was at the bottom of the hill. For reference, PW’s house is at the top, and we had just started walking up the hill. After a while, I got up to the house, and told her I was gonna call my dad to pick me up, and she said fine and rolled her eyes. I called him, and he got worried that I was hurt or something. When he picked me up, he asked me if anything happened and I told him no. PW still hasnt talked to me since Halloween, despite sitting next to me in most lessons. PW has a history of doing very rude things to me (Calling me slurs, talking crap about gay people, encouraging people to do bad things to themselves, calling me names because I didn’t like how Ryan Gosling looks even though she knows im aroace, etc.) and she still does rude things like not using my correct name or pronouns (she refers to me as my deadname and by she/her pronouns, even though ive expressed that my name is Ezra and that I use he/they/it) and calling me slurs. I’ve been feeling like I should drop her but I’m scared she might do something to herself because of it, or that she might spiral. AITA?

No-Resource4149

AITA for being tired?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxwqx/aita_for_being_tired/

17lxwqx

Throwaway account I (27f) recently got engaged to my fiancé (28m). How we got engaged and our plans for the wedding have recently caused fights with my stepdad and I want objective opinions. Background info: My fiancé and I come from the same culture - I was raised overseas where as he was raised in our home country. My dad passed away when I was around 12. During this time, my maternal grandparents moved to our country to help look after me and my sister (28f). My mom had to work long hours and sell our house to keep our lifestyle - we went to a private school and had extra curricular activities. Due to this, my grandparents really stepped up as surrogate parents; and we became very close. When I was around 15, my mom met David, who lived a town over. My sister and I both understood it was important for our mom to be happy, as we knew how much she sacrificed for us, so we were always welcoming of David. After they got married, we all decided as a family that my sister and I would stay with my grandparents so we could still attend the same school while my mom moved in with David. Through high school, David kept offering to pay our university tuition. My dad left my sister and I enough money to cover that comfortably, and would have wanted us to use it to pursue education. We told him what our dad's wishes were and politely declined his offer. He said we could save that money and take his instead. While generous, we wanted to respect our dad's wishes and it kind of felt like there were some strings attached to that money, if I'm being honest. After graduation, I was accepted into a prestigious university in my home country. It's the only time I've seen my grandfather cry. That's where I met my fiancé. This year, we had the opportunity to come back for his work and we jumped at the chance. In our culture, the groom's head of family talks to the bride's head of family (usually fathers) after the proposal. So when my fiancé proposed, we set up a meeting between his father and my grandfather. We had a family dinner recently to talk about wedding stuff and I mentioned the meeting and how I was excited for grandfather to walk me down the aisle. That's when David lost it. He started yelling saying I already took 'asking the father's hand' away from him now this. I've never lived with David, and he's never parented me. We've always gotten along well, and I respect him as my mother's husband and father of my brother (10), but I've never seen him as a father and was shocked he'd see himself as mine. My grandfather yelled and told him he was overstepping. I offered him the father-daughter dance but he said he didn't want it with someone who clearly didn't respect him. Now my mom is mediating between me, her husband and father. I genuinely want to know, AITA? TLDR: my stepdad, who I've never lived with, was surprised my fiancé didn't ask him for my hand and that I planned on my grandfather walking me down the aisle. ​

Sea_Kale_6930

AITA for not letting my stepdad walk me down the aisle?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxx4a/aita_for_not_letting_my_stepdad_walk_me_down_the/

17lxx4a

For context: the country I live in do not allow us to buy a house unless we are married. Renting prices are sky high due to the land constraints our country faces. My family of 5, moved in with my husband and I a couple of days ago while waiting for their home to finish renovating which would take approx 1 month plus. I am currently pregnant and we live in a 3 bed room flat. Growing up I could not stand sharing rooms with my sister F(26) because of her snoring and untidiness. At the age of 18 I started working shifts,and had to wake up at 3am for work. There were many sleepless nights. in my parent’s home we had also only 3 rooms. I ended up moving out of the room to my brother’s and he moved in with my sister. I told my sister that I didn’t mind sharing rooms with my brother, but she had to move into the smaller room (my brother’s) which she refused. years later, my parents sold the house and rented while waiting for their new home to be built. I shifted into the smallest room. My siblings shared the bigger room. 8 months later, I got married and bought a 3 bed room flat. Fast forward to today, my parents new home is almost ready but the rent at the current place was to be increased. They didnt want to pay for it as it was only a month left till they could move in to their new home. My mother asked if they could with me for a month and I was ok with it as long as everyone cleaned up after themselves. My mother has helped my husband and I, so I felt like this would be a good way to repay her. In my siblings room (at the rental place), there would be food particles in their rooms, mouldy walls, spoilt air conditioners and their rooms would smell. During the moving out process my mother constantly screamed and threatened my sister to clean up as the rented home had to be handed over. She was a hoarder. My step father mentioned that my sister’s room constantly had a stench, which I too agreed. But my sister did not care one bit. On the first day of her moving into my home, the room started to smell. I freaked and told my mother I could not have this here. My brother on the other hand has been cooperative, he cleans up after himself so I was thankful for that. My mother spoke to my sister and told her she’d have to move out else where for the time being because I could not deal with it. (Plus I did not want to stress myself as I am pregnant.) My sister started blaming the weather, her skin condition and every other thing she could think of. But not the fact that she was just unhygienic. She cried wolf saying that everyone thinks she’s a burden. All I wanted was for her to acknowledge and do something about it. She could have apologised and said that she’d be more hygienic. But No. she made a whole scene and made it all about herself. Not even the fact that it was my home that I worked hard for, or the fact that I was pregnant. She blocked me on socials and played victim. I know that my relationship with her would never be the same. But I’m putting myself and my pregnancy first. AITA?

Reasonable-Goal2659

AITA from asking my sister to leave my home?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lxyk1/aita_from_asking_my_sister_to_leave_my_home/

17lxyk1

Basically, my friend here (let's call him Simon) is one of my classmates at school. I'm starting my GCSEs with him, even the same subjects. We have been friends since primary but now things have started to crumble apart. He started asking me for help with anything, from taking care of his sister whilst *he goes out to the grocery store* and that was a lie. He was actually at someone's house playing Valorant. Next lie for help was when he asked me for help on his study. What he actually did was tell me to do his assignments while he listens to music. Another example is how he asked me to take the blame for hurting a kid. That was when it got too far. I started refusing to help, and even told him to not come near me if he wanted help with such requests. He got real mad with me, and told me that I'm a worthless piece of shit, and that a true friend would help. I tried explaining to him that I'm not helping with those kind of requests, but he just said that I should come back to him once I realised that I was in the wrong. So, AITA?

ssakkuro

AITA for not helping one of my friends who never even needed the help?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ly5go/aita_for_not_helping_one_of_my_friends_who_never/

17ly5go

I (20m) have a girlfriend (20f) that I’ve been with for about 7 months. We’re both on the autism spectrum and have anxiety and the sort so we’re both socially anxious and have our insecurities and whatnot. I have a particularly difficult time understanding her a lot of the time because she has a tendency to keep all her emotions bottled up and never tells me until she’s so upset she explodes. Recently, she was over at my apartment and we were just talking about random things. Autism got mentioned and I brought up an interaction I had earlier in the week with a classmate to use as an example of my social awkwardness. The interaction went as follows. I was in a coding class where we had to be in groups, my group was all guys and one girl and honestly all of the guys just gave off bad vibes to me and I didn’t feel comfortable talking to any of them. So I turned to the girl in my group and said “Hi I don’t really know anyone in this class and you seem nice would it be ok if we exchanged instagrams?” To which she replied that I said it really nicely and gave me her Instagram that she uses for art. I said goodbye and left thinking nothing of it. Fast forward to my gf being over and when I mention this she goes kinda silent. I can tell it bothered her but she seems to quickly dismiss it and the rest of the time goes just fine. She goes home, and the next day is fine too, but the day after that I notice she isn’t texting much, so I bring it up to see if somethings wrong. She basically proceeds to accuse me of cheating on her with the girl from my class, which shocks and confuses me. I don’t remember much of the conversation specifics as I was anxious and my memory isn’t the best when in that state, but I feel I was rightfully offended and tried not to say anything that might sound mean as I do isn’t want to further upset her. I did word some questions badly, such as asking if she took her medication, but I feel it was somewhat justified to ask, just not in the way I worded it, as she has recently started antipsychotics and said she hadn’t been taking her anxiety medication so I was concerned. That made her extremely upset and she threatened to cheat on me at one point out of spite. She went to bed angry at me, and today hasn’t been much better. She did tell me a little bit more of her thoughts and that she thought asking for someone’s Instagram was weird behavior and inappropriate of me to do while dating someone. She said all her friends agreed it was weird of me to do, but I don’t see a problem with it as it was purely platonic and I’ve never done anything to make her think I’d be unloyal before. At this point I’m not sure what to do, but I feel like if she truly wanted to end things she would’ve mentioned breaking up by now. AITA? Tldr; I asked a classmate for her Instagram because I don’t know anyone in my coding class and my girlfriend thought it was weird and accused me of cheating on her with the classmate

Standard-Office-1231

AITA for asking for my classmates Instagram

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lyfp0/aita_for_asking_for_my_classmates_instagram/

17lyfp0

My husband (32M) and I (30F), both in a double income household, have been having conflicts over dividing household tasks. To address this, my husband hired a cleaner, and he's been responsible for paying them. I've always done more around the house to compensate, such as folding laundry and occasionally cooking. Lately, I've grown frustrated with my husband not contributing and leaving dirty dishes for me to clean. This has led to arguments about my desire for him to do more and my belief that he should show gratitude for my "extra" effort by saying thank you from time to time. We split our finances equally, but my husband uses his share to pay the cleaner once a week to compensate for my additional work. The cleaner takes care of cleaning, laundry, and sometimes ironing. I've been the one managing the cleaner and preparing clothes for both of us. Yesterday, my husband told me he's not willing to do anything in the house and that it's my choice not to hire a cleaner for a second weekly visit to cover my share. He called me "foolish" for cleaning instead of just paying someone. I got angry and, while folding laundry, only folded my clothes, leaving his on a chair. I refused to do "my share of household chores" by leaving my husband's laundry unfolded. This morning, he noticed and threatened to have the cleaner only do his laundry, while I do mine. I realize this has turned into a petty competition, and I’m not proud of it. We are quiet stubborn but in general we have a good relationship. But we’re both adamant about our stances, and I don’t see a resolution. AITA for refusing to do “my share of the household chores”?

Odd_Breath2779

AITA for Refusing to Do My Share of Household Chores When My Husband Pays for a Cleaner?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lygu0/aita_for_refusing_to_do_my_share_of_household/

17lygu0

Excuse my English, its not my first language Okay, so this problem may be a bit silly, but it's really on my mind. I'm (23F) saving up for my first big solo trip, I work 80 hours a week and am frugal with my money. Therefore, I am also living temporarily - so I can sublet my house - with my mom (48) and my sister (17). I am grateful that I can live with them and therefore save on my rent. But, I notice that constantly my stuff gets used. I'm a pretty easygoing person and I like to share, but I started to find it a bit annoying since no one asks if it can be used - I always say yes 9/10x anyway. Three weeks ago my favourite rings got lost, I asked my sister if she had put them on, she indicated she had but that she had put it back. I asked my mom if she might have moved them, she said she did but she couldn't remember where. I asked if they could both search, indeed they ''searched'' for a while but found nothing. I am still sad about it, but well, I can get angry about it but that doesn't find the rings. Now I came home late yesterday after work, and I wanted to use my face mask since a long time. I ordered this one a month ago, and hardly used it myself because I leave 8am for work, and come back at 2 am so I'm just way too tired to put anything on my face. I picked up my cream and noticed it was almost empty. I was quite surprised because it is a mask of which you really need a drop and you have enough. Anyway, I was too tired to make a thing of it (and it was also late at night). Now this morning was the final straw for me. I am a smoker, cigarettes in my country are expensive (9.50 euros). Every morning -when I am still half asleep and my mom and sister are already awake- I can smell that my mother and sister are smoking cigarettes (my cigarettes). I normally don't bother about it, and whenever my sister and mom ask for a cigarette I always give it to them. But when I woke up today, I saw that all my cigarettes had been smoked! I still had 4 left, which I had for today because I allow myself to buy only two packs a week. My sister was still at home, so I asked if she has 9.50 for a pack. She said no and gave me the biggest attitude. She said it is not her fault that mum gives it to her every time and that maybe I should stop smoking. I had to rush to work, so couldn't argue further, but I am so so so so so annoyed that my generosity is being taken advantage of. I genuinely don't mind sharing, but when my stuff gets used up or lost..... Okay so the conclusion of this story: I sent my mother a payment request of 20 euros, for all the cigarettes she and my sister smoked. Now she calls me stingy. Am I stingy? I don't think I am unreasonable, but my sister and mum say I am.

oliviapia9

AITA for asking my mom money back?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lyu7y/aita_for_asking_my_mom_money_back/

17lyu7y

Earlier this year, my roommate decided to get kittens together and they have both become very much a bonded pair. A few months have passed and now hes saying he's going to move out at the end of our lease next month to move in with his girlfriend of what will be 4 months and bringing his cat with him. Moving in with a girl you've been dating for 4 months aside, I think this is a deeply bad decision for the health of both of our cats as I worry separating them could be extremely unhealthy. My proposed solution was that one of us takes both of the cats and that it should be me because: A) I've already gotten a lease signed that will allow me to have two cats, while he will be moving into an apartment complex where he'll have to sneak them in. B) I have vastly more financial freedom than he does, allowing me to take better care of them C)Both of these cats have spent 90% of their time with me since we've brought them home and genuinely believe separating them from me could also be unhealthy with them. I tried talking about this with him and it devolved into him minimizing the situation and saying I was making a problem out of something thats not happened yet, so I'm not sure how to move forward from this.

Perfect-Middle1392

AITA for asking his roommate to go give me his kitten

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lyx56/aita_for_asking_his_roommate_to_go_give_me_his/

17lyx56

I'm on phone so sorry for the grammar. I received a bottle of Bailey's Irish liquor for my birthday that had past in June. I had gotten it from my sister. Happy for the gift, but when I saw the best before date, it had past by several month(feb). I was a bit taken back and at first I thought maybe they got swindled at the bottle shop. Only when I was talking to my mom, she reminded me that my sister likes to re-gift and that was like the answer. I was thinking of just telling her about date on the bottle and seeing what would happen, but I didn't want to be perceived as an AH. At a dinner a few weeks after my conversation with mom we had a family dinner and I brought this topic up but as speaking for a friend and his cousin. Had almost all the family saying "that's not right" and a few saying how my friend should just tell they cousin. My sister and my brother-in-law both were on the opposite side, saying how it was a gift and how gifts are about the meaning of giving. In the spirit of giving, I've been holding onto the bottle for her birthday. So my question is would I be the AH if I gifted her this bottle WELL after its best before date?

voicesofmine

WIBTA if I re-gifted a bottle of alcohol that was past the best before date?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lz1th/wibta_if_i_regifted_a_bottle_of_alcohol_that_was/

17lz1th

My (18 M) parents have a large age-gap. My mother's in her late forties and my Dad is pushing his sixties and would turn seventy soon. My cousin Ian (24 M) and I have not met for ages, I last saw him when we were very young. We visited my uncle's house together recently. However, during our stay there he noticed that our parents have such an age-difference. He asked me "that's your father, right? I mean, I know that he's not your grandfather, but still..." I got irritated and asked him why he wanted to know. I told him that he's obviously my father. He said "Yeah, but it's weird that he's much older, he looks like he could be your grandpa." I lost my cool and asked him what his problem was, and that it was none of his concern. He proceeded to say that he was not judging and that he was only asking because he got surprised (he'd never seen us for years after all). He stated that it was just kind of creepy that his uncle (my Dad) married someone who was so young. I flipped out and called him a "honky bastard", asking him to shut the fuck up or that it would not be good for him. He protested by saying that it was just his opinion. He said that even if I get offended, the fact remains that it is creepy anyway. It turned into a verbal sparring and was only averted by our parents walking in on us, asking what the issue was. They asked us to break it off, but my parents told me that I should not have used such language/and should have just ignored it. AITA?

StoryOk4500

AITA for calling my cousin a "honky bastard" and to shut the fuck up for commenting on my parents' age-gap?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lz84m/aita_for_calling_my_cousin_a_honky_bastard_and_to/

17lz84m

Howdy, I (22 M) and my kids (1&3 F) live in a house with 5 roommates. I recently went through a divorce and have been trying to navigate raising two kids on my own. It's been hard, but I'm doing my best. When this first happened two months ago I talked to my roommates my options which were still living with my ex, leaving the state to stay with family, or staying and kicking my ex out. I told them that I wouldn't be able to do it alone, I didn't have a job and needed the help to get back on my feet, but I would follow what was best for them. They told me to stay and kick my ex out, and they would help me. I've been doing my best to avoid asking for help, but I've been stone walled for basic necessities. They won't take me or my kids to doctor or WIC appts, job interviews, or even the grocery store. I was able to pay my rent last month, this is the first month I've missed, I offer gas and I'm able to cover my children's expenses. I just no longer have a car. I've made a genuine effort to only ask when it's absolutely necessary. They've been ignoring me, directly leaving me out of every event and hang out. I had other options, and offered to sign an agreement for anything I owed them but they said not to worry about it. It came to a head on Halloween, me and my kids first holiday alone, when they cancelled trick or treating and threw a Halloween party instead. Honestly I was upset about it, but I didn't say anything and just helped them clean up for the party, but after the cleaning was done I was told I wasn't invited and it was a "closed event". I can't take the emotional strain of not knowing when people will cancel on me, and I can't let my daughters be in a situation where I don't know if I'd be able to bring them to the hospital if something went wrong. Every conversation I've had has told me the only issue is that I'm not communicating my emotions, I was told it was because I wasn't talking to them about my feelings so they pulled away. I haven't had the time to understand my feelings myself, and I don't think that's fair. They didn't even tell me anything was wrong until today, I hadn't had a chance to fix it in the first place. I contacted my family out of state and told them my situation, they're picking me up this week. Our lease isn't over for four more months, and I've talked to them about still paying them back, but at this point I can't stay here. I'm wondering if this makes me an AH, I'm genuinely worried I won't get my life together in time to avoid being homeless when the lease is up, and this seems like the best option. So, AITA for moving before my lease is up? Tldr: my roommates offered to support me through my divorce, but started ignoring me outright and refuse to drive me or my kids to get necessities. They said it's not about money, but because I didn't talk to them about my feelings. I decided to leave the state to get help from my family instead but want to know if it's an overreaction.

PrinceMonophobia

AITA for moving before my lease is up?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lzppc/aita_for_moving_before_my_lease_is_up/

17lzppc

I (37f) have been with my husband (34m) for 12 years (married 8). We have been legally separated for 6+ years after I found out about a serious drug problem. He hid it for 6 years, so when I found out about this whole secret life, I was devastated. When he kept repeating the behaviour I asked him to move out and we legally separated shortly after. Over the years we have remained monogamous as we work through things and rebuild trust. This past year I've been doing my own internal work and realize I have some attraction towards women. For context, we both grew up mormon, which is a high control, very conservative religion. There wasn't a lot of space to have your own thoughts, explore the world or yourself. I have 1 friend who is lesbian. I reached out to ask them what life was like, and how things changed after coming out. I was too afraid to talk to my husband because I feared his reaction/rejection (his family is incredibly homophobic). Over the course of 4 days I hung out with this friend and asked a lot of questions. They ended up making a move on me. Some flirting happened, I stopped it and sent her home. The next day they came over again to work on job applications and initiated contact again. I shut it down again, but they were persistent. At different times during the encounters I did reciprocate some flirtness and cuddling (i actually dont know why bc they are 100% not my type at all, and i am not attracted to them at all). However I also kept letting them know that I didn't want to be crossing these lines and would stop everything, only for them to start initiating things again. For reasons I don't fully understand myself, I let them hang out and eventually the flirting progressed to them putting their hands down my pants (i did not reciprocate). I stopped them, sent them home and eventually told them I want no contact with them. I told my husband immediately and have been very transparent on everything. To my surprise, he doesn't even care that I'm gay/bi/whatever. He is hurt about the betrayal. Which, given my history with him, I 100% understand. I've encouraged him to ask as many questions as he feels necessary, have offered him my phone, and am signing him up for health insurance so he can go to therapy for more support. He wants to talk this out with a friend who also grew up mormon. Initially I was okay with it bc I know he needed a support. But he plans to tell his friend about my sexuality and I'm not okay with this. I feel that while I made a huge mistake and he has the right to seek support about me cheating, that I have the right to control who I come out to and when.He doesn't think coming out or being outed is that big of a deal anymore. My husband thinks I am a hypocrit because I did tell friends about his drug issues, though it was a couple of years into it and it was for safety reasons(there was a lot of gaslighting involved). AITAH for not wanting him to tell people I'm gay?

_curious_questioner

AITAH for not wanting my husband to out me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lzrud/aitah_for_not_wanting_my_husband_to_out_me/

17lzrud

I (F17) have a teathre show coming up this Saturday. I am not an actor I'm the set and costume designer of the show. I am really proud of my work and wanted my mom to see the premiere because the premiere is the most important show in the line-up, it's the one that in a way sets the tone for all the future plays of the show. I asked my mother (F 40) if she'll attend, we don't live together anymore so we don't really spend much time together (she got my my own apartment a few months ago and we live separately now. Before I moved she kept saying how happy she is to finally not have to live with me anymore and that really hurt me.I wasn't happy about moving out , she just got me the apartment and made me move , also made me take all of our 5 cats that she wanted in the first place, I love those cats but they make a lot of mess and they're overwhelming) She said she can't because shes going hiking , I got upset because she goes hiking almost every weekend and told her she can cancel this once to support the play I worked on by showing up. She got upset and said hiking is her way to wind off and relax and to leave her alone. I asked if she at least can come to the second time we have the show (thats in two weeks and its a day before my birthday) she said No again because shes going hiking and that I didn't tell her the dates in time so she already made plans. By this point she started screaming at me and I started crying and yelling back. I said she can make a sacrifice once and come to see my show and she said she's sick of making sacrifices for people and It's time for her to spend her time for herself. She said I don't see all the stuff she does for me so she can buy all the things I own, I got even more upset and told her all the material things she got me don't mean shit if she doesn't spend time with me too. For the past months shes gone abroad so many times , went hiking , had fun. End each time I was left behind. The whole situation is a whole mess and I feel like I overreacted , AITA?

starry_doodle

AITA for blowing up at my mother for not attending my teathre play

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m00mv/aita_for_blowing_up_at_my_mother_for_not/

17m00mv

I hired a cleaner who has done one full house clean and then 2hrs fortnightly for maintenance. Now I would like to mention that I am a very tidy person. So she is just sweeping/mopping/dusting etc. I also have a very small house but I do have 2 dogs. My main issue came today when she locked me outside of my own house and I had to pay $150 for a locksmith to get me back in the house. I have two locks on my main door but only have the key to one of them. When she did the initial walk through I showed her the key and said it's for the top lock and that I only use that lock. She forgot and locked it.. Now I would also like to mention that on her original clean she said she had to leave early so she did not get to finish cleaning my Venetian blinds (which are pretty dusty) but I had paid for it in my original clean and she would do it next time. She has since been to my house 3 times and still has not done them. On her first 2hr clean I was home and she was only there for less than an hour and charged me less as she said she would feel bad for charging me more. On the two secondary cleans it looks like the cleaning has gotten worse and less than an hours worth of stuff is done. I noticed a lot of thing agreed upon for the fortnightly have not been done. WIBTA if I don't pay her the $80 for her clean today. I mentioned the locksmith and blinds to her and she just said that she worked for 2hrs and wants to be paid. She said if I don't pay she will send it to a debt collector. I know that that won't go anywhere as it would cost more to lodge and I have proof that she did not complete what we agreed upon plus the $150 receipt for the locksmith.

Particular_Gur_6666

WIBTA If I don't pay my cleaner?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m01bf/wibta_if_i_dont_pay_my_cleaner/

17m01bf

My (26 M) neighbour's kid Ethan is around six-years-old. During Halloween, all of them were Trick n treating. I wanted to participate in it myself & I got a costume. It might be for those who are young, but it had been a while since I celebrated. I became a Grim Reaper. But I knew that I did not want any candies, so I instead chose to spend my time by just exploring the neighborhood with that costume. I got a few stares as I was taller in height, but that was all. I noticed Ethan walking down the street with a few candies, and he stared at me. And then he asked who I was (probably because I did not look like a kid, I am not sure). I thought it'd be nice to make a joke and said "Do you not recognize me? I am the Grim Reaper." He did not believe me at first, but I was also carrying the scythe, and as he was only six, I figured I'd just mess with him. I stated that I am here to collect people who are to die & that he's the first in the list. He looked at me, shocked, and then began to scream. He rushed away from me directly to his house. I was scared myself and decided to follow him to explain that it was just a joke. He informed his parents about it, wo came to check who had told him that. I removed my mask when they opened the door, explaining to his father that I was just kidding him. But he yelled at me, accusing me of terrifying his son and that he would report me to the cops if I ever went near him again. No matter what I said they would hear nothing of it. AITA?

DeepFaithlessness646

AITA for scaring my neighbor's kid by making a joke during Halloween?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m02f0/aita_for_scaring_my_neighbors_kid_by_making_a/

17m02f0

When my ex (m47) and I (w35) were still together he once surprisingly came to my house at 7am on Sunday and rang the doorbell. I heard it, but I sleep longer on Sundays and did not react. I did not know it was him, but had already considered it too. But since later nothing came from him, I thought nothing to myself. Days followed where he did not speak to me. At some point I asked what was going on, he said I was not treating him well. That he could just call before, text or come at a time when he knows I am there and awake, he did not want to see. We broke up at some point. Later we got together again briefly, and there was the same thing again. He came over again without letting me know, I didn't open (new apartment where neighbor kids like to ring my doorbell daily, so I don't answer the door for strangers anymore). I see an hour later that he deleted me in WhatsApp. Fast forward. Two years later we talk about the old times, he still does not want to understand how bizarre it is, why he does not briefly call and say that he comes. AITA? Am I misunderstanding something? Was it my turn to communicate something? Sorry for bad English

Feine_b

AITA For not opening the door at any time

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m04j7/aita_for_not_opening_the_door_at_any_time/

17m04j7

OK some context my daughter and my girlfriends son are both heading out to college next years and are sending out applications this year. So to help my daughter have a advantage I decided to try and pull some strings for her letters of recommendations and called up my mom and dad. More context here my dad is a fairly high level politician back in my home country. So I asked him if he could pull some strings and see if he could get a letter of recommendations from the PMs office cause that would really set her application apart from the rest. So the conflict started when I got back said letter of rec and my girlfriend asked If I could do the same for her son. I refused cause It would be incredibly weird to pull that sort of favor when she doesn't have a direct relation to any of the people involved after I already asked once. She got mad at me about this and started sulking for the past week or so.

AdAfter1892

AITA for only pulling strings for my daughters college application and not my girlfriends son

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m07r4/aita_for_only_pulling_strings_for_my_daughters/

17m07r4

For context my grandma has memory problems. So she can't be let alone in a house. She was staying at my older cousin's but his mother in law died so they dropped off my grandma to my aunt who lives near us. But that aunt has a to attend a function for 3 days but she can't let grandma live alone. So my dad(dad couldn't cuz he has work) suggested my mom can stay at her house and take care of her. She has done this before as well. Yesterday was my bday so we decided she can go after dinner. We kept telling her to pack a bag but she just kept ignoring us. So after dinner we came home but she completely refused to go. My dad asked her to pls go this time and the next time he'll look for an old age home for her. But no she cried and cried and refused to go. She kept saying I won't go because her foot hurts a lot (recently her foot keeps swelling a lot) but that was of no excuse cause my dad was gonna drop her off my rickshaw. I tried to be nice and keep the mood up cuz it was still my bday and in rly nice way said I'll pack the bag for her and even come to drop her off to the rickshaw if her foot hurts so much. (Honestly it was seeing a kid cry cuz they don't want to go school and I think she was lying bout the foot thing cuz just a day before, her foot looked even worse but she forced me to go with her to her sister's place which is 2hrs away by train. Even when I offered to pay for a taxi cuz I was scared what will happen to her foot but she said no I'm good I can walk to the station) But then after I gave her the bag with her clothes packed she started balling her eyes even more saying shit like none of us care about her at all and she only should be the one to go a old age home so we'll rest easy not having her in our lives. Mind u it's still my bday. This time I lose it I say wtf are saying srsly and leave the room. She kept spewing similar shit but at this point I was done. I said just shut up if u don't have anything nice to say. I just feel so betrayed cuz she was my fav parent but was the one who ruined my bday and my sister's bday

eatsallyourchocolate

AITA for hating my mom?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m0kxp/aita_for_hating_my_mom/

17m0kxp

My (22M) mother (38F) had me when she was very young, and then had two other children, all from different absent fathers. She’s not in a good place of mind for quite sometime; she was diagnosed as bipolar and apparently she also had postpartum depression after my sister was born, which went undiagnosed for years. Now my half-brother is 16 and my half-sister is 7. He recently reached out to me - I live in another city an hour away from them - to say my mother has found a new boyfriend that lives in another state and that she’s spending more and more time away from home to be with the guy; the last time she was gone for almost 3 weeks, and this time would be almost a month, all the while leaving her 16 yo in charge of her 7 yo. I was livid to find out about that, and so sad for my brother who’s being forced to raise our younger sister, and for my younger sister to grow up under these circumstances. I immediately drove to their place; when I got there I called my mother and told her she has 24 hours to go back home or I’ll report her to CPS (that’s an empty thread, I could never bring myself to do that because I don’t know what will happen to my siblings in the system). She broke down crying, saying she lost her job and is now being supported by this new boyfriend (he gives her the money to send to my brother so he can maintain the house). She says they are working to get a bigger place where he lives so she can move my brother and sister with her, and this should happen in a couple of weeks. She asked me to stay at their place to help my younger brother till then, because I work from home and it won’t impact on my job. I said I’m not staying and that she should still get back asap. The thing is I can’t bring myself to leave my two underage siblings by themselves, so for now I see no other choice but to hang around. I worry about what can happen if I go back to my place - would I be an AH to leave them on their own, as a way to pressure my mother into coming back? I know that if I stay, one week will turn into a month and a month will turn into a year… I can’t put my life on hold.

Throwaway19881107

WIBTA for leaving my two minor siblings by themselves?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m0q68/wibta_for_leaving_my_two_minor_siblings_by/

17m0q68

I don’t know where to start but would like to give a bit background. Me and my husband are both Asians and in late twenties and early thirties and we are married for more than 1 year and dated for 2 years. We both live abroad. My family is well off so I don’t have to look after them. On the other hand, my husband has to look after his mom (dad died) and his sister. He sends monthly expenses back home (common in our culture). I don’t have any problem with that as I knew about it and we discussed about it while dating. Relevant to story, my husband is bad with finances so after we started living together, I came up with budgeting and savings plans. We equally contribute to the household expenses and saving and have certain amount that is our personal. He sends his money to family from personal without interrupting our expenses. I save more than him as I don’t have personal expenses like his which is towards our common goal. The problem is he never asks them about the expenses. His family tells him the amount of money and he sends them. And I find their expenses ridiculous sometimes. So this time within 15 days, they asked for more and I suggested him may be once in a while he can ask them about it. That’s where our fight started. He says that it is irrelevant cause he has never done so in the past and now it will look like he is doing so because of me and his family can look me in bad way. I feel this doesn’t have to be in negative way and he should know where his money is going. With difference of our opinion in this, we fought and are now just not talking to each other since both of us feel we are in right. I was wondering if I have crossed the line as at the end of the day, it not my personal money and nothing in our life has impacted due to it except saving a bit less for travel or luxury things. Also is it normal for couple to want space for like 2-3 days? We live together and are talking just minimal. We usually sorted our fights within a day or next morning. So this is unusual for us. Any suggestions would be helpful.

codinggardener

AITA for suggesting my husband to ask about finances at home?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m0r0t/aita_for_suggesting_my_husband_to_ask_about/

17m0r0t

I (18M) was kicked out of my parents house when I was 17. I've faced a lot of struggles in the past few years, specifically regarding substance abuse and mental health. My parents were always very hard on me. Growing up, they expected me to be a straight A student. Anything below that was disappointing. As I got older, that became less and less attainable for me. I have memories of being as young as 3rd grade, and my parents screaming that my grades weren't good enough. This was destroying me. Come middle school, I was already beaten down more than I could handle. I started with nicotine, which turned to weed which turned to harder and harder substances. I was really just chasing highs every day because it felt like that was the only way I'd feel adequate. By 16 I was a legitimate addict. I tried to turn to my parents for help, but their response was that I'd gotten myself into that situation. I got clean last september, shortly after my 17th birthday. By that point, my parents were refusing to even speak to me on some occasions. I know, I made mistakes. There's no denying that. But they seemed to just stop loving me. My mental health declined more and more until I attempted to take my own life in February. I truly almost died that night. But my parents were more concerned about their own image than my health. They charged me in court in March for being an unruly minor. In June, they told me they were kicking me out. I would've been absolutely stranded, but my aunt offered to take me in. So I moved in with her. On the opposite side of the U.S. 2000 miles away from my home. I truly lost everything. I turned 18 in August, and I'm still staying with my aunt who has been incredibly supportive. This Christmas, all of my extended family will be getting together to celebrate. None of them know what happened, and my parents told me not to tell anyone, as it'd make them look bad. But honestly, I'm so hurt and frustrated that I don't care how they feel. They completely uprooted my life and took away my last few months of childhood. So WIBTA for telling the full story to all my extended family at Christmas this year?

king-fisher886

WIBTA for Telling My Extended Family That My Parents Kicked Me Out?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m0ub2/wibta_for_telling_my_extended_family_that_my/

17m0ub2

My (32F) stepsister “Kate” (34F) has always had a complex about physical appearance. It caused a lot of issues for her and all of us over the years and stopped her and I really having a relationship. She got therapy in her mid-20s and eventually got to the point of what she calls “aesthetic neutrality”, which means she never comments on anyone’s appearance and we are asked not comment on hers, positively or negatively (fair enough). She enforces this with her 7 year old daughter “Zara” as well. She asked from the time Zara was born that we never make comments relating to Zara’s appearance, even if it was nice things. Everyone in the family normally follows this. A few days ago, we were all visiting my parents’ country house for the weekend, and Zara and my 5 year old, “Anya”, were playing dress up. They came downstairs and my daughter ran over to me and my husband to show us the outfit and we said she looked beautiful in her dress. My husband took Anya to get a snack and Zara came over to me looking pretty dejected and asked if she looked pretty as well. Maybe it was just me being too soft but I couldn’t look at her and not answer, given that she’d asked me directly, so I said yes. Her face lit up and she left the room to get a snack as well. Kate immediately rounded on me, telling me I was undermining her parenting and I know we’re not supposed to make those kind of comments. She said disregarding her wishes as a mother was bad enough but lying to Zara is even worse and is going to set her up for failure in the future is she measures everything by appearances when she isn’t good looking. I understand where Kate is coming from, I really do, and I said as much, but I just didn’t have strength to say anything else when Zara was standing right there. Kate is now mad at me and saying she isn’t sure she wants me babysitting until I can respect her choices on how to raise her kid. My stepdad and mother are on my side, but my husband says I probably should have just redirected Zara to her mother given what Kate is like and I probably did mess up a little bit. Was I that wrong? Again, I do understand where Kate is coming from, but in the moment I don’t think I handled it that terribly.

prettylittlegirls

AITA for telling my niece she looked pretty?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1062/aita_for_telling_my_niece_she_looked_pretty/

17m1062

I broke my classmates glasses on a classtrip by accident. After the classtrip, I offered to have my insurance cover it, and asked him for the bank account number in person so I could hand the case to the insurance. He didn't give the number to me, so I texted him again a week later which is already a bit late. He replied the same day saying he'll send it to me. He then took 2 more weeks to send the number, which was already to late to hand the case in. Now he's asking me to pay the 200+ € by myself, while I'm frustrated that he didn't even attempt to send me his bank account number. AITA?

TerribleParking84

AITA for refusing to pay 200+ € after I've broken my classmates glasses?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m11vm/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_200_after_ive_broken_my/

17m11vm

I (21f) am conflicted about telling my mom that my little sister (13f) got a tattoo. She showed it to me yesterday and thought it was super cool, however my mom is super SUPER against tattoos, like she’s told me she would kick me out of the house for a tattoo. I’m not trying to be a tattle tail but I’m genuinely worried about how much trouble she could get in. My generation is not the same as hers and my mom lets her have a lot more freedom than I did as a kid so I didn’t get into the kinds of things she does, but she’s also told me about how she’s been hanging out with her friend (13f) and apparently they got in a car with other teen boys (16m) (15m) and were running around the woods, for context this is the same day she also got the tattoo so she just went wild on that day I guess. I’m honestly terrified if my mom does not wrangle her in now, it will get way worse. I love my little sister too death and I’m so conflicted because she confided this in me but I’m wanting to do some type of prevention because I know it will only get worse if she is only 13 and already getting into this stuff. I could care less about the tattoo itself, my concern is her getting some kind of disease from it or getting into worse trouble way outside of this tattoo. I think it’s a small thing, but an indication for more trouble to come. I did try to talk to her about it and let her understand the risks but she had absolute ZERO care and thought it was funny. AITA??

Artistic_Cut1045

AITA to tell my mom that my 13 year old sister got a stick and poke tattoo on her finger?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1246/aita_to_tell_my_mom_that_my_13_year_old_sister/

17m1246

This person that I am acquainted with F(32) had a baby only 3 days ago. Now for some context, she used to be my manager at my job which I left almost four years ago. Her and I had a great work relationship and got along well. After I left said job things were good between us and we kept in pretty good contact. Over the years our contact has dwindled, as it does, and we talked less and less frequently. By the time she discovered she was pregnant I talked to her once in a blue moon and it was always friendly but always very surface level stuff. Her and I and one of the people I used to work with (who I currently work with again but that’s a story for another day) have had a group chat since we all worked together. I have barely messaged said group chat in the last year or two, and it’s mostly dwindled off and nobody really talks in it. I don’t like group chats and honestly, life is just overwhelming and busy for everyone and sometimes I just don’t have the mental energy. So 9 months ago obviously she messaged the group chat saying she was pregnant to which I replied happily congratulations and I was sure she would make a great mom, and I meant it. Since then I’ve received no invitation to the baby shower, received no updates and so on. Skip 9 months and she has her baby. Again, says nothing in the group chat. And seeing as it’s only been 3 days I figured I would give her some sort of space before bothering her with any sort of messages. I do not know what it feels like to give birth but if it’s as bad as all my female friends and my mom says it is, I would want literally no one to contact me for a while lol. At 10pm on the third night after she had her baby, she sends a message in the group chat saying “um I haven’t heard a peep from *my name*”. Immediately confused and kind of pissed off at that remark, I replied by telling her I wanted to give her time with her new baby before bothering her with any sort of congratulations. She then replied with “Well all I’m doing is sleeping and feeding my baby” And I replied with “Exactly my point” to which she replied “mhm sure” and proceeds to send me the same pictures of her baby that I had already heart reacted on Facebook. AITA?

Dstar1213

AITA for not telling someone congratulations for having a baby?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m15dc/aita_for_not_telling_someone_congratulations_for/

17m15dc

My birthday is coming up and I'm pretty sure I know what my husband is getting me. It's a really nice gift, and quite expensive - lucky me, right? - except I've been pretty clear that I don't want the money spent. He has a habit of getting very lovely, expensive, lavish gifts for me, but we're kind of struggling to make ends meet, we've had to borrow money from his parents multiple times recently. So I was really clear any time we were in the shop where this expensive thing comes from that I don't think we should buy it; I wouldn't want that sort of money spent on me as a gift; we can't afford it. I was pretty overt. I did tell him what I want - something specific to do with our children. A package arrived a few weeks ago and I saw who sent it - the expensive place. He was bashful and sweet when I told him we'd had a delivery from [expensive company], saying I shouldn't have snooped (I mean, I was the only one home and the sender was clearly there, I didn't even open the package). I asked a week later if he remembered what I asked for for my birthday and he seemed confused then asked what it was again. I told him; the thing to do with our kids. He was like "oh yeah". Tonight the topic of the expensive store came up and I mentioned that I feel like he might have got me something from there and that maybe he hasn't listened to what I wanted. And he said I didn't know what I was taking about, that my birthday hadn't been yet, but would it be the problem if it was that? And I said again about the money and that I had asked him for something else. And he said the timeline of me asking was unclear, so I pointed out that I'd asked for it after a significant event to do with our kids a few months ago (long before the package turned up). He said maybe he'd got that as well, and I said that wouldn't be ideal, because of the whole financial aspect. So then he said I'm ungrateful and I have a history of not appreciating what he gets me, and he used an example of how he'd taken me for lunch+a show and our kids babysat when I said I wanted more time together, and then I pointed out that I did appreciate that, but also that what I'd asked for was a night off together and that I'd referred to an overnight stay at a nice hotel where we'd had the kids babysat and been able to rest, no responsibilities. There is an ongoing disagreement where he doesn't think I said that clearly prior, where I'm sure I did, because I remember thinking that experience was lovely and using it as an example of what I meant. I told him that while I appreciate his effort, I feel like what I actually want isn't being listened to, and I asked how we could improve that in future - that maybe going forward he could clarify my top 3 wish list items, or confirm a budget (because he of course comes up with lovely things I haven't even thought of, but maybe a bit outside our financial capabilities). He called me an ungrateful asshole. So... AITA?

yeahokayreally

AITA for rejecting a gift

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m17gc/aita_for_rejecting_a_gift/

17m17gc

I'm 16f and I am in a special class in my high school for "special needs" students. It's not purely for disabled kids, but mostly for people 16-20 who had drug or mental health problems that led them to dropping out of school. There's one kid in the class "Daniel" 17m and he has Down Syndrome. I have an autoimmune condition that makes me miss a lot of school because I'm in hospital, and I use a cane or a walker. Our class coordinator "Brenda" likes to get us to do different activities during the day because our classes are structured differently from the rest of the school. Mostly trying to get us to socialise by doing activities like board games or helping out in the school canteen. Daniel and I are the only two "physically disabled" students in the class and because of this we keep getting paired up. I hate it. He's really rude to me and will do stuff like take my cane and give it to his other friends because he thinks it's funny. I've told Brenda that he won't quit harassing me and I don't want to be left alone with him, but she just tells me I'm being prejudiced against his condition and lying about it because "he has Downs and not a mean bone in his body". I'm now refusing to do anything with him and walked out of the kitchen when we were both rostered. AITA for this? Everyone keeps saying that people with Downs don't know how to be mean so i don't know if this is actually discriminatory?

Subject_Card_1414

AITA for refusing to be paired up with the Down Syndrome kid?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m17l9/aita_for_refusing_to_be_paired_up_with_the_down/

17m17l9

I (16f) was talking to a group of people when my friend (16f) took a really ugly picture of me and sent it to my girlfriend. It made me really, really uncomfortable because it was a close up and I hated it. I asked her repeatedly to delete it but I think she took it as a joke and wrestled her phone away from me. I'd feel really stupid for making this into a big thing but honestly it upset me so much I'm crying right now. It just feels like a gross violation of boundaries and he'll I don't mind her having the picture but sending it to my girlfriend is a bit far. I know I'd have never done that to hat and I feel really disrespected. Do I get to be upset or am I just being too sensitive??

Impressive_Cow5253

AITA for getting upset at my friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m19cm/aita_for_getting_upset_at_my_friend/

17m19cm

AITA for not helping my MIL AND BIL financially? MIL has never worked full time in her life and has always depended on others to take care of her by choice got married at 23 went from her dads house to FIL house divorced when husband was 8 FIL paid all bills until husband was 19 she then moved in with boyfriend he paid all bills until he died 5 years ago. His son paid her rent for 2 1/2 years for taking care of his father for 2 years before he died once that stopped she stayed in the apartment for 6 months not paying rent then moves with BIL & his wife who has now left him. BIL has never maintained long term employment due to the fact he believes that he is smarter than everyone and treats people poorly. BIL decided to move to Florida from the North East in September of 2020 MIL moves with him. My husband (45m) and myself (46f) sit down with MIL and tell her it is not a good idea BIL is emotionally abusive she goes anyways it completely blows up September of 2022. She moves back to NJ no plan no money stays with her sister for 2 days before she blows that up by lying to her sister ends up at my house on a sofa I don't have a spare bedroom for 6 months have her get a part time job to save up money for her own place. She ended up sending BIL money weekly so she isn't saving anything. MIL stops answering phone for BIL because i figured out she was sending a lot of money to BIL. He thrn calls the police for a welfare check and starts threatening me & my husband. We finally found a place she could afford she had to "borrow" money to move in. Fast forward to now she had a medical emergency refused to be admitted to the hospital and refused to follow up with doctors and can not return to work until she figures out what is going on we have now made the doctors appointments but is now calling weekly for money. With all this BIL moved back and has also started calling for money and not a little bit of money asking for various amounts over $600 each time! MIL is expecting that we will help her financially until she dies my husband and I live comfortably with a bit of savings but if we supplement her income which is around $1200 a month she has given any savings she had to BIL after getting fired for calling his boss an stupid f*ck and has burned so many bridges in is working years by being difficult that he could not find employment. MIL has always expected my husband to bail them out years ago she stole checks from my husband and cleared out his account at the time my husband was an over the road truck driver he went to take money from the ATM and had insufficient funds and when he contacted the bank they went through the transactions and he found out the his mom had written 3 checks to herself totaling more than $2000. He had to call is dad to get money to live on as she cleaned him out. When he asked her she said that she & BIL needed it. AITA it is a really long story so if you have any questions about my shortened version please ask.

Odd_Moose_5979

AITA For not helping my MIL(75F) & BIL(49M)

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1avt/aita_for_not_helping_my_mil75f_bil49m/

17m1avt

Three people in this story: \-Me \-My partner (nightlife performer) \-My friend (photographer) My partner is a local performer who hired my friend to take live performance photos for their show. The event was fun and the two enjoyed working with one another. Months later, my friend told me they were upset because they noticed the pictures they took at the show weren’t featured in my partner’s social media or promo. In my partner’s industry, it’s common for photos taken by photographers to be used by the performers on promo and social media. My friend asked me why they weren’t used and I later asked my partner the same question; They told me they never received the photos through anything (Instagram, Google Docs, etc.) Later, I relayed this to my friend. They were angry, telling me they did send the photos to my partner’s Google Docs, my partner even saw the photos at one point when they were in development, and my friend confirmed with me that the photos were sent by Google Docs through their account. Over this and other conversations on the issue, my friend has been passive-aggressive in regard to their comments on the situation and my partner, making me feel uncomfortable. Back to my partner, they told me they saw the photos while they were in development, but never received them finished via Gmail or Instagram (my partner did receive them - we checked - but they didn’t know what name they were under/overlooked it). Regardless, I’m tired of acting as a middleman between the two and I want my partner to initiate a conversation and explain what happened on their end. I don’t want my partner to use the photos in their promo, that’s up to them, I just want them to fix this miscommunication since they're the producer. My partner finds the situation ridiculous but will explain their side if my friend contacts them first. Their reasoning is over how my friend is reacting towards me. Often my friend can be passive-aggressive towards me, and this situation is no different since she thinks my partner didn’t like the photos. My friend's demeanor towards me has upset my partner and they think my friend is being ridiculous, my friend should be talking to my partner, not me. I understand my partner's stance, but unless my partner initiates a conversation, I feel my friend is going to continue feeling upset and nothing will be resolved. I understand my friend may be hard to deal with sometimes, but I think my partner should initiate first as they hired my friend and were negligent in saying that they didn’t have the photos when they did. After a fight, my partner said they would begrudgingly do it. I feel terrible for arguing with my partner and it’s taken a toll on our relationship. I also don’t want my friend to feel disrespected and I think my partner can easily resolve this, but I feel they just don’t care. So… AITA for fighting with my partner over refusing to reconcile with my friend.

Logical-Door-584

AITA for fighting with my partner over refusing to reconcile a miscommunication with my friend.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1b39/aita_for_fighting_with_my_partner_over_refusing/

17m1b39

I’m a freshman in college, and I live in a studio style dorm situation with 2 roommates. All three of us share one room. My roommates study a all the time, which I don’t have a problem with, they can do what they want. However, this means they often keep both of our main lights on until 1-2am almost every night. I’m autistic and an insomniac. I’m very sensitive to light and have trouble sleeping as it is, the lights on make it EXTREMELY difficult for me to sleep. I asked once to turn the lights off, around midnight. My roommate responded saying “it’s not fair we only get 5 hours of sleep due to our own work, while you need 8 with less.” I’m an acting major. I’ll admit I have less busy work than them. However my work days go from 9am to 6pm 3 days a week, with one 45 min lunch break per day. They require me to be in pique physical condition to do and I can’t do it without sleep. They both have had desk lights since we moved in, they claim they’re not bright enough. I bought a face mask, but as someone with weird hypersensitivities, I hate things touching my face, thus the mask feels super uncomfortable. In my dorm we have a study lounge on our floor, as well as a quiet multi purpose room downstairs, they said they can’t study there. We have a library a block away open 24/7, they said they’re not comfortable at night. I’ve brought this up to them once, and they kinda cut me off and have been acting cold towards me. Idk what to do in this situation.

Flashy_Improvement63

AITA for asking my roommate to turn the lights off?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1h55/aita_for_asking_my_roommate_to_turn_the_lights_off/

17m1h55

I was at my sister’s wedding, I was part of the prep etc so I had to go to the back to help out with the food. I’m 6’4, and it was very noisy back there. A tiny friend (?) of my sister who was probably nowhere over 4’10 tapped me and was asking me something. I couldn’t hear her so I leaned down a bit and she pulled away, made a face, tutted, and then went n whispered something to my sister. Sister had an argument with the woman and then she came over n told me that the woman thought it was “extremely disrespectful” that instead of asking her to repeat herself first, my first instinct was to lean down. I didn’t see her again after that but it got me thinking, was I an AH? Have I been an AH to 90% of people my whole adulthood?

Apprehensive_Sun300

AITA for leaning down to talk to someone?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1lnu/aita_for_leaning_down_to_talk_to_someone/

17m1lnu

Throwaway and edits so no drama Within the past year me (29m) and my ex (27f) broke up. Involved them cheating on me and a lot of emotional and mental abuse from them around the time when multiple close family members had cancer so very messy. We had a small group of mutual friends Ken(m29), Clarice(f27) and Jane(f28). After the break up the group said they wouldn't pick sides and they haven't but for a good while I wasn't a massive fan of that as it hurt to see them hanging out with her on social media. Jane had also cut off a friend prior due to the friend cheating on his partner. My issue now is while myself and Ken are still extremely close and hang out regularly, AITA if I don't meet up or message the two girls anymore as they have become even closer friends with my ex as time has passed? P.S my ex is in a relationship with the guy she cheated on me with and the mutual friends hang out with him when he is with her. I've blown off plans with the girls once or twice because I felt a bit sick in the stomach about it but haven't given them an ultimatum or said I won't be meeting up with them anymore.

Throwaway1324063

AITA For no longer putting effort into mutual friends with my ex

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1oz0/aita_for_no_longer_putting_effort_into_mutual/

17m1oz0

I (25 FTM) have three dads, technically. The guy I’m biologically related to, who I’ve never met and isn’t in my life, the guy who signed my birth certificate (62 M), and my ex-stepfather (63 M). My mom (45 F) left the guy who signed my birth certificate when I was about 2, and ended up with full custody because he wouldn’t go for split when she offered it. He hardly paid child support and was pretty absent during a lot of my life, and when he wasn’t, he just wasn’t a great dad. When he signed the certificate, and when mom was pregnant, she told him that he wasn’t the biological father. At 15, I learned about my biological dad but only by a nickname. He dated my birth certificate father’s sister for at least a couple of years, and my mom only knew him for one week (how lucky). I have asked my birth certificate father about my bio dad three times, on the basis of medical knowledge, at 16, 20, and 22. All met with varied degrees of absolutely nothing. Recently I have started the process to get on T, and fed up with the lack of answers from him, asked about my bio father on Facebook specifying his nickname and that he dated birth certificate father’s sister, and made the post public, specifying that I just wanted to know for medical reasons. This upset my birth certificate father who acted like this was a grievous offence to him, and prompted one family member to ask “is this really what you want to do, you look a lot like [birth certificate father]”. Which is false, I look almost like a copy of my mother. My birth certificate father told me the only medical issues I have is looking after my mother and myself. (Not true I have a surgery coming up because of one of three I have going on.) And now has basically cut me from his life. I only asked because I was prompted to figure out the medical issues on my father’s side, by my doctor. So, AITA? Edit: She dated Bio dad for a week, a month before birth certificate father, was upfront that BC dad wasn’t the father, and said so in their custody court case. She doesn’t know the dude’s name because he wasn’t a longterm relationship with her, and he went by a nickname because he hated his name. Doesn’t remember the last name and only the nickname. Edit 2: To also clarify, she left birth certificate dad because he cheated on her. And he slandered her my entire childhood. He’s the one who has issues with my mom, she wants nothing to do with him anymore. She only recommended I go to his family because this is medical information I need, for my medical health.

DrakonNightengale

AITA for asking about my biological father on Facebook?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1s19/aita_for_asking_about_my_biological_father_on/

17m1s19

I am leaving on a solo trip which I never do, SO staying home holding down fort for four kids, getting ready morning of trip saying goodbyes I mention to SO, privately that if anything should happen this is where all important info is…. SO storms off angry shouting why do you think that way!!! Now I am left thinking when and how I could have handled this differently?

Isthisreal1978

AITAH for planning what if situation

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1vpa/aitah_for_planning_what_if_situation/

17m1vpa

I (16f) was talking to a group of people when my friend (16f) took a really ugly picture of me and sent it to my girlfriend. It made me really, really uncomfortable because it was a close up and I hated it. I asked her repeatedly to delete it but I think she took it as a joke and wrestled her phone away from me. I'd feel really stupid for making this into a big thing but honestly it upset me so much I'm crying right now. It just feels like a gross violation of boundaries and he'll I don't mind her having the picture but sending it to my girlfriend is a bit far. I know I'd have never done that to hat and I feel really disrespected. Do I get to be upset or am I just being too sensitive??

Impressive_Cow5253

AITA for getting mad at my friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1xkt/aita_for_getting_mad_at_my_friend/

17m1xkt

I moved abroad from the UK around 8 years ago. My parents like to come out on holiday to visit me a few times a year because where I live now has a far better climate and better quality of life than where they live. Okay awesome no problem. The problem I have is that every time without fail they turn up with pounds, make a big stink about exchange rates and insist that I give them cash for spending money. They try to pay me back in pounds but because of exchange rates and commissions this means I’m always losing value of the money. I’ve set up Revolut and Monzo accounts for them so they can pay digitally but no matter how big or small their expenses they refuse to pay any way other than cash. It’s not like I have a big stash of cash lying around and since I am now a SAHM the money that goes into our joint account is from my husband. If I start withdrawing large amounts of cash only when they’re here then it’s pretty obvious that it’s not for me. I’ve told them so many times that either they exchange cash themselves or they use the digital cards I set up for them but I’m not funding their holiday expenses anymore. (When they do pay me back it’s “later on” and in my UK account which doesn’t exactly help me) They’re here now and when we went shopping my mum demanded I pay for her clothes bill in cash. I told her I didn’t have enough. I waited outside the store and when she finished the transaction she came out the shop yelling at me for embarrassing her. Her and my dad are in a mood now and have been real snippy with me and my husband. AITA?

SecretFearless2328

AITA for refusing to give money to my parents for their holiday spending?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m1ytp/aita_for_refusing_to_give_money_to_my_parents_for/

17m1ytp

My(20M), sister (27F), Lana (fake name), took cash from my mother's earnings while the rest of my family are away to spend holidays with my aunt in another state. I was royally pissed, knowing well how hard was it for my mother to finally earn her own income aside from my father being our primary breadwinner. My parents had returned home, unassumingly nothing had been out of the ordinary, except some office cabinets had been touched and the master bedroom where my mother had kept the said amount of cash. My mother was devastated to say the least, all of her hard earned money stolen. There were no sign of breaking in nor were our neighbours were alerted of any kind of noise. My sister, Lana, had been complaining that she didn't have enough money to do her pre-wedding photos as it was above what she earned now. Each of us siblings and our parents have access to our home should any children wished to come back home. My sister (27F), Lana, ceased complaining altogether about not having enough money for her pre-wedding photoshoot and telling them that she didn't need any money anymore from my parents and suddenly having enough money to afford for her photoshoot. They immediately got suspicious of her being the prime suspect of the thieving, but didn't have any evidence since our house aren't equipped with cctv. Growing up, my sister Lana had a very concerning tendency to stick her nose into things she didn't belong, like silently stealing my mother's gold jewelleries, her priceless traditional accessories, and other things mild thievery. She had gone for therapy for clinical depression, but she stopped going and taking her meds, saying that she felt better already, clearly it didn't help with her chronic stealing. Not my business entirely, but she claims it adds to her ever-growing "stress" so I digress from ever mentioning, giving her space for her to sort out her own troubles. My parents have repeatedly told her of other alternatives as to not burden her financially in the future. Unfortunately, such advices fell short of her hearing, it doesn’t help at all that she's adapted her mindset of being "independent" from our family. Now, I'm not generally a confrontational person. But, seeing my mother's expression as she told me of this, makes me want fly out to drag my sister's hair and make her spit out the money she may have took from my mother. But I also do not wish to strain my family's relationship with one another as of now as I do not have proper backbone and evidence that Lana took the money. She may sounded like a villain, but she really is someone I would consider a good person at times. TLDR: Sister is being suspected of stealing money from mother to afford for her pre-wedding photoshoot, however there's no evidence, but she is in the same state as parents and the nearest person with access to the house, OP wants to take action but needing some advices on how to proceed. Help plz.

Ienniese_Maeve003

WIBTA if I confronted my sister of the money she took from my mother?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m21ez/wibta_if_i_confronted_my_sister_of_the_money_she/

17m21ez

I have two daughters Zoe (18) and Alexis (17). They're both in year 12 and almost done with their final exams. Zoe is my stepdaughter if it makes a difference. When it comes to school the girls are opposite. Alexis is like young and dumb me, and chooses to coast on her natural ability. She puts in the minimum yet has amazing grades. Zoe, on the other hand, struggles. She tries extremely hard and is tutored but always struggled to get C's in more academic subjects. To be clear, I'm not saying this to diminish Alexis, I was exactly the same as her back then and she's gotten amazing results. However I have literally never seen her study aside from the literal day of a SAC/exam. I'm proud of her for a lot of things, but her attitude to education just isn't one. Both girls are great even if both have their flaws. So I plan to reward both girls for finishing school and their results/efforts. The issue is yesterday Alexis had her math methods exam and Zoe had her business exam. Alexis refused to give more than one word answers as usual, so I left it at saying I'm proud of her and sure she did great. Zoe on the other hand was happy with how it went, telling me she managed to finish and felt really confident on it. Considering last week she was crying because she couldn't finish English (it's designed so most students don't or barely), it was an achievement. I was really proud of her and let her know, making sure to be supportive. However Alexis later got upset and claimed it's not fair that I 'baby' and favour her. She thinks I'm proud of Zoe despite her being worse, so she must be the favourite. Even though I literally told Alexis I was proud of her earlier. I don't agree with her attitude and have tried to motivate her to study, but I'm still proud of the results she's gotten so far. She's valedictorian and I'll eat my hat if she doesn't get into uni. But I'm not going to not be proud of Zoe because she's getting worse results. Alexis insists that I should be more proud of her, and that it's unfair for Zoe to get the same reward, but thats nonsense. I tried to explain it to her but she just got increasingly more upset, so I told her we'd talk about it more today and tried to assure her I love her. Unfortunately she decided to go to my ex's instead today so we haven't talked beyond my ex accusing me of being a piece of shit father and saying I need to prioritise "your actual daughter". I don't think it's unreasonable to reward both. Alexis has better grades but Zoe put in a lot more effort. Both will finish high school in the next two weeks and I'd say they're almost guaranteed to achieve their goals. So both deserve praise and reward. If I had to guess I think it's just my ex being so results-focussed as usual twisting her perspective but it's possible I'm not being as equal as I think. I didn't mean to upset Alexis with this

throwawaydad83727

AITA rewarding both daughters despite different results

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m22rd/aita_rewarding_both_daughters_despite_different/

17m22rd

My boyfriend (M18) I have been with for over a year almost 2, we have started living together over the last six months. I work on a holiday park as sales and it’s quite a stressful job but with this I get my own place to live, a bungalow, and I only pay a small amount for the rent to live me and him agreed to go half on the rent each month but it gets taken from my wages so he has to give me the money only around £75 from him. When I got this job three months ago I got my boyfriend a job here as well on maintenance and he could live with me, I was so excited and happy. After the first month he got fired for being lazy and apparently not listening, but he is Ukrainian and sometimes don’t understand what people are saying or what they mean, but they continued to let him live with me on park. I have been paying for everything since I moved out, the shopping the rent and other essentials and expenses leaving me with nothing each month. He got another job at a wearhouse not far from us and it’s weekly pay around £10 a hour so it’s not bad, but he worked a week and hurt his arm and now hasn’t gone back after his arm is now fine and tells me it’s boring and he don’t want to do it. He just got a ps5 on finance and now I don’t see how he will pay it. It’s not the first time he has left a job because “it’s boring” or “long” I love him so much but I don’t think I can do this anymore. I have tried talking to him about money, he owes me around £700, as we went on holiday for my birthday and I payed for it all and he was gonna pay for flights at least. He hasn’t. My own birthday I was buying my own drinks, I don’t mind this but we don’t go on dates or even go for a walk together anymore. He has turned really lazy even my longest friend Connor who is also mates with him pointed it out to me, when I met my boyfriend he went gym was a healthy eater and was always out and about doing things. Now he won’t even take the dog for a walk or carve a pumpkin with me. I have tried talking to him and I get no where and it’s always my fault if a argument starts. Please would I be a asshole if I kick him out if he don’t go to work tomorrow? Edit: There is so much more to this but it’s to much to put into one post and no one is gonna wanna hear about it lol.

BongNshlong

AITA kicking my boyfriend out

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m2d1j/aita_kicking_my_boyfriend_out/

17m2d1j

i’m F15 and my sister 18F has finally moved in with us after 5 years since she has a visa now. She’s been here for a month. first i was totally ok with her as i have only brothers and im the oldest on my moms side.The 2nd day she was with us she was on a call with a guy on my brothers phone, my brother is M10. this guy was very old, she was saying disgusting things to him in spanish thinking i wouldnt understand. Another thing is she might be an adult but is completely childish and immature, she yells and invades peoples person space and likes to touch other peoples things. I tried giving the benefit of the doubt that she left her family behind and is adjusting until my dad told me she is usually like this. Later on, i found out im sharing a room with a girl who likes to run away to see older men and does gross sexual things which makes me well uncomfortable. My sister cleans, cooks and does laundry while we are at school and while my parents are working, my mom and dad praise her for it, but when i used to do it they bring me down and say that it’s something i should do daily since i was the lady of the house this obviously bothered me. again i tried to give benefit of the doubt maybe their trying to make her feel at home. What was my last straw was when my mother started to compare us,she told me how next to my sister i was basically useless that she did the jobs that i was meant to do. i would also like to add, i do my jobs as im supposed to, which bothers my mom as well. she says why do i only clean when its my chore day. What made me ultimately yell at her today was this. everyday after school i pick up my brothers, today was very cold, and there’s a break in between where my mom is able to pick them off and drop them back home and go back to work. Since i have to walk and it’s very cold i asked if she can pick them up. My mom yelled at me saying it’s my job and i had to do it, i asked her again and told her i was very sick and week ago and didn’t want to get sick again. she harshly said no and my sister said she’ll do it. My mom said “your making your sister pick them up when she’s not even used to the cold and doesn’t have winter clothes” i tried to keep calm but i did have a bit of an attitude to it i responded with “it’s not my fault you didn’t buy her any plus im still picking them up” it upset her that i sorta had a point so she yelled at me “It’s because thanks to your sister i have time to come home and relax since she does all the chores in the house why couldn’t you be like her, she’s not as useless like you” this struck me very hard. without thinking in a loud tone of voice “you want me to be useless i’ll be useless than don’t complain when i don’t help out, you never appreciated anything i do, you want her to be her daughter then sure take her i don’t care enough anymore, just wait to see who she really is, im done” the guilt set in later i disrespected my mother

lixxie_lx

AITAH for yelling at my mom?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m2d6e/aitah_for_yelling_at_my_mom/

17m2d6e

Let me preface by saying that I (17F) have deeply rooted issues related to my friends ignoring, leaving, turning my friends against me, and bullying me throughout the entirety of my childhood, of which my best friend (17F) knows about. We already have some pre-existing issues related to this topic as I have to walk on eggshells around her and can’t speak with her about my feelings or state my opinion on anything regarding her or she gets defensive about it and only adresses it when she wants to talk about it (I’ve had to wait 3 years for her to acknowledge my feelings on an argument because she said she wasn’t ready to have it and admitted I was right). As well as flipping back and forth on whether she wants me to tell her the truth instead of lying to her about it so she feels better (she tells me to keep my opinion to myself if I don’t agree with her actions). And what has happened to me in this story has already been done by her to another person in the last few months. Now onto the story. I have 3 good friends, including my best friend of 7 years who I’ll call “M” for short, our good friend of 5 years (17F), and (18F) whom I’ve known for a year only because she’s always around M whom she’s told her multiple times that I’m not ‘good enough’ for her. For context I’ve done nothing wrong to either of the other 2 and they’ve privately told me that they don’t see the issues in my behaviour and have stopped her from starting an argument with me in public before. Yesterday we went on a field trip to a centre for people with developmental disorders during which they acted like I was invisible. They and our other friends on the trip actively ignored me when I spoke to them, looked away when I tried to, were giving each other looks, and disappeared to ‘go to the bathroom’ multiple times to talk bad about me. When I spoke to M about it during the trip by saying “you haven’t spoken to me the whole day” she ignored it and I gave her a dirty look after which she told me to “be mad about it.” No one sat or spoke to me on the bus rides. At one point we needed to do a dance with another person during an activity in a giant circle of everyone there (of which I was the only one alone) and they actively ignored me as they danced and laughed right next to me and it was noticeable enough that the staff and teachers started dancing with me out of pity. I later messaged asking her what I did wrong and she said she did it because she disliked some teasing jokes I make towards her because she’s sensitive about it (her own words) (I have and do apologize for it and try minimizing this behaviour because she has an issue with them but she doesn’t bring it up and blows up on me instead). This time it was me telling her that the Halloween makeup she did for fun was bad (which she agreed with) and trying to help her fix it after she asked me to, saying “I needed to start doing better in school” after she told me about her good grades (which I’m proud of her for and have told her that, and apologized to her for saying that previously), and asking if she’s OK every time she seems upset when I see her. After I, in detail, explained to her why this was a problem to me and how I wouldn’t let her cross the boundary recreating the bullying that happened to me (something she extensively promised to never do), she told me to get over it, stop playing the innocent victim card, and overdramatizing her giving me the “silent treatment” for a day. I’m by no means a saint, but imo what she and our friends did was cruel. AITA? Edit: context

Embarrassed-Oven-697

AITA for making my best friend ignore and turn our friend group against me

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m2eiv/aita_for_making_my_best_friend_ignore_and_turn/

17m2eiv

So I was going home from college in December and I wanted to go on a vacation with my family. My mom keeps buying jewellery every now and then( this is a new passion of hers) and now she’s telling me that we can’t go anywhere because it’s too expensive. She’s already gone to London and Maldives this year and spent so much money on those trips while I was at home. The last time I was on holiday was in 2019, before covid hit and I need a break mentally. Am I wrong to tell them that they have become materialistic?

Owl-Wooden

AITA for telling my mom that she has have become materialistic

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m2gk4/aita_for_telling_my_mom_that_she_has_have_become/

17m2gk4

I have a 5 year old son. My brother in law often does things with my son without first asking me. This time, he took him to get his haircut and chose a style that I never would. I think it looks terrible on my son, but more importantly I am annoyed that he felt he could do this without asking me. So, I told him how I felt the other day and said “How would you feel if I took (your little girl, age 4) to get her haircut without asking you?” He just kept replying, “It will grow back! It will grow back!” I just want him to know that even though he means well, it is not okay with me that he does things with or to my son without first asking me. He seems to think he is being helpful when he does things like this. Am I the ass hole??

FunGiraffe88

AITA for telling off my brother in law for taking my kid to get his haircut without my permission ?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m2ulv/aita_for_telling_off_my_brother_in_law_for_taking/

17m2ulv

Hi, I'm a 21 year old gay guy who was born and raised in a small town my whole life and 2 years ago I got into a university I really wanted in a city that's 2 and a half hours away from where I live. I'm in my 3rd year rn. Naturally I was very excited to find an apartment in the city and begin my college life. Little did I know however that my mom had gotten into a university in the same city way back when she was actually pregnant with me. And because of her pregnancy she didn't get to finish her studies. (She has already gone to university once btw and this was like a 2nd degree that she was interested in). So when I got in, my mom saw this as the perfect chance to continue her studies that she had dropped all that time ago, in a way because of me. It's not like I can really say anything to her or go against her in that matter. On top of that it's her and my dad that are paying for the apartment so... But I just feel like I'm so goddamn unlucky. Like I finally get into a university that I wanted that's sorta far from where I was raised, I finally get the opportunity to be independent and really grow into my own and then it turns out that my mom is very often going to be living with me in my university apartment because she also studies here. Important to note that she doesn't stay with me all year long but she comes pretty regularly. It's like I can't escape her sometimes and it really bothers me. At the same time however I feel pretty bad whenever I'm mad at her just for being here with me or when I explicitly say to her that I'd rather be by myself and would prefer it if she wasn't staying. Idk if I can really do anything about it, I've just been feeling stuck and lost the past few years as well and me and my mom studying and living together really doesn't allow me to do a lot of stuff I feel like. AITA for wanting her to leave me alone

orestis_yeet

AITA: My mom is going to uni in the same city as me and I'm sick of it

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m306x/aita_my_mom_is_going_to_uni_in_the_same_city_as/

17m306x

so there’s this girl who I think likes me and we facetime about math homework and such, however today we took a test she didn’t finish and wanted me to give her the answers, to which I explained that I didn’t want to do that. I’m doing much better than her in class, so I said I’d try to explain how to FIND the answers, just not the answers themselves. She’s now angry at me. AITA for not giving her my answers? We’re pretty good friends but I don’t feel comfortable helping her cheat, especially since this is a pretty big test. Now, she could fail because of me and I feel horrible.

Sel1g

AITA for not wanting to help a friend on a test

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m35j6/aita_for_not_wanting_to_help_a_friend_on_a_test/

17m35j6

I'll make this as quick as possible. My (41f) daughter (13f) is most definitely introverted. No social anxiety, she is just fine and happy with her small group of friends and has no desire to expand her circle. She also gets extremely overstimulated easily from noise, lights, smells, etc (for this and more reasons she is currently being evaluated for autism). This has led to crying in places as normal for her as walmart. On to my dilemma. Mondays in one of her classes a discussion came up with the topic being introverts/extroverts. The teacher told them at one point "if you are introverted, it just means you need to socialize MORE". This just rubbed me the wrong way. I've not been one to message schools/teachers usually, and I admit I also don't know the whole context of the conversation. But to tell children, one of them currently learning how to deal with meltdowns she's had while being overstimulated in social situations, that their problem is they need to socialize more, made me immediately want to email the vice principal, teacher and the school psychologist to give the teacher a piece of my mind, to put it nicely. WIBTAH for making a deal of it? Also, my kid is fine. I think she took it a little to heart but told me she knew there was nothing wrong with being introverted.

okcomputer465

WIBTAH for contacting my childs school

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m398t/wibtah_for_contacting_my_childs_school/

17m398t

Throwaway and first time posting, English is not my first language. Some backstory: I (24F) still live with my parents, because I'm in university and the housing market is really bad where I live. I'm not able to afford a place to live, and my parents are aware of that. My parents have always financially supported me, but they aren't great when it comes to the emotional part of being a parent. We have a different point of view for a lot of things, but we get along fine. Now onto the problem: my parents have always forbidden me to get piercings and tattoos, I've wanted them since I was 14 but they always said no. I got it at 14, so i wanted to wait until i was of age to get a piercing. I thought about a good piercing which wouldn't get me in trouble at my job and I settled onto a septum piercing. I told my parents about it, and how i would be able to hide it, but they still said no, and if i were to get it, they would kick me out of the house. Last year, at 23, I thought fuck it and I got the septum piercing, my parents were fuming and they wouldn't let me in the house for a while. They cooled off at some point, and since i have nowhere else to go i came back. I wasn't allowed to show the piercing in the house, so i hid it whenever i got home form school of friends. It didn't feel good tho, because I felt like i had to fit their mold, or else I would be homeless. I decided to have a conversation with them last week, where I told them that I was sad that I wasn't allowed to dye my hair, wear things like band shirts and get piercings or tattoos. I told them that I want to respect their wishes, but I can't withold myself for years, untill i can afford a home, to figure out who I am. They basically told me they don't care that I want control over my body, I live in their house so i must follow their rules, or else they will kick me out. They aren't talking to me now and I feel really bad, they told me I'm the reason our relationship is bad right now, because I find myself more important than them. At first I believed them, because I'm used to it, but after talking to some friends I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong... i love my parents a lot tho, so AITA for not respecting them in their own house? EDIT TO CLARIFY THE FINANCIAL SITUATION: with financially supporting I mean having a roof over my head, I have a parttime job on the days that I don't have classes and I pay for my own things furthermore! Idk if this adds anything, but I noticed that I forgot to clarify what I ment with financially supporting.

Ok-Law-5494

AITA for "disrespecting" my parents?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3aij/aita_for_disrespecting_my_parents/

17m3aij

My husband and I attended a metal concert. We got the tickets for my birthday. All bands are very heavy, explicit ratings. Large mosh pit. It was in a venue that served hard liquor. I am a planner, so we arrived early enough to get dinner, be some of the first in line, and get good spots for the stage. We found a great area on the side overlooking the pit at the rail so no one was in front of us. About an hour and a half into the show, after the first two openers, a couple and their three small children show up behind us speaking about how they'll "find better spots" and "this is what happens when we're late" and so on. All of these kids looked to be under nine years old. One was tiny enough she was on the man's shoulders. Sure enough, after eyeing my husband and I for a while, the man came up and asked us and the people to my side if we "would move so that his three small children can see the band". The couple next to us agreed, but when he looked at me I politely explained that I wasn't comfortable moving as I had arrived early to get this good spot for the Headliner. He was flabbergasted and started raising his voice. Asked me if I "really was refusing to move for his children? They love this band. You won't move?"I said "Yes, I'm sorry, but I paid for my tickets too and I arrived on time to get a good view." After he continues at me, my husband offered to make some room on his side of the railing, but it was very tight. The three kids went and then sat on the floor which made us very nervous. My husband is a big man. If he fell or stepped back onto one of them, it would be a severe injury, so he planted his hand on the rail to show that we weren't moving in on them. The third opener started and the kids progressively pushed against my husband. The dad put one on his shoulders. At one point I heard the dad lean down and say "Don't worry about it, you keep pushing forward, okay?". After a while, the guy pushed hard into my husband which then shoved him into me and he shouted "Why are you pushing into us, big man?" My husband calmly said he hasn't moved and gestures to his hand on the rail that he kept for a barrier. The man started raising his voice, he partner was trying to calm him down. I admit, I got heated and told him to "Back Off". He said he "didn't want to fight in front of kids." I replied "You shouldn't have brought them to this in the first place." I said something about it being dangerous since they were on the floor. The guys wife kept trying to get him to look away from us, but he kept going. I ended up going to get security. Security came, the other guy argued, but they ended up moving them to the other side of the building by the stage. TLDR: Guy shows up over an hour late to an explicit metal concert with three small children . He asks me to give up my view for his children. I refused. He tried to escalate the situation into a fight with my husband. I got security involved to have them removed. AITA?

CrowBrainSaysShiny

AITA For Not Giving Kids My Spot

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3drb/aita_for_not_giving_kids_my_spot/

17m3drb

So I have a friend I'll call Ethel. Ethel is an amazing totally fun person and a good mother. But Ethel has some hang ups. For context so people know I'm a single mother of 2 children. I have pretty much no help other than the food banks I go to. I do not buy things for myself til I can get out of the debt I'm in. I work full time and have begun to experience issues with my vehicle. So Ethel and her I guess can call significant other are gamers. I would be but can't afford it right now. They can't either. Her s/o who will call Fred just had Fred's child move in with them. Ethel didn't know Fred had a son til recently. Fred and Ethel are struggling taking care of the one child they share together. My issue is every week Ethel needs me to take her somewhere but I'm always busy plus it's time to go get her on the other side of town and bring her back and I'm not getting gas money plus I'm already in debt. I don't mind taking Ethel to a local food bank in that area once a week as I'm already in that area and it happens to be close to her home. We'll I go to other food banks close to my home but now she's expecting me to take her. I want to tell her no but don't want to be rude. I already have a lot on my plate. I feel like she could take a bus while her sons at school and Fred's at work. But she says she doesn't have the money yet they spent 100 on a video game plus he wantsro buy a game. A bus is way cheaper than that. Plus the other day when Fred's son came out from another state after his mom signed over rights they didn't have a ride to get him two hours away and the kid had to take an uber Ina new place and wasn't greeted at the airport like he should have been. I feel like they where expecting me to take them and I can't. She already has me driving down there then driving back up this way to gst her sons meds then driving her back then me driving back to my house. I've been doing this every other week. Tbh I'm overwhelmed in my own life already and I don't want to do it. I recently converted to Islam and I know it's important to help people. But I'm already in debt with car issues and I feel like these people won't help themselves and I'm actually very upset over it. I need to recover myself for my own kids. They are two people with one child. Fred takes all Ethels money if she gets a job so she doesn't want to work. But I'm sick and tired of helping and it's gotten to the point tbh I'm mad. I want to get myself back on my feet before helping. Also I feel like they should plan better. Ethel should take steps like getting on housing and getting ccap to help with their sons daycare but she will never do it. I'm not a resource for them and I feel like I'm gonna lose my resources for helping them. Would I be wrong as a new nuslim to tell them no?

Dragon1Heat

AITA for being tired of my friend always wanting help when I don't have it to give

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3ek3/aita_for_being_tired_of_my_friend_always_wanting/

17m3ek3

Quick Legend: IF = Intermittent Fasting Hello all, i(19m) and my mother have been in a debate regarding IF. i am currently 245 points (im 5' 6, or 167.64 cm). i have been trying to lose weight for a while now (ive been obese since i was 15 or 16). i recently found r/intermittentfasting about i'd say 3 or 4 weeks ago and ever sense then ive been trying to do IF. if you are unfamiliar with what IF is, i would take a look at the sub reddit, but basically it is a way to control when you eat. for me, i have been trying 12:12, meaning i dont eat for 12 hours and i eat for 12 hours. in order to help me stay on this, i talked to my mom (who makes my meals, but they tend to be VERY high in calories, sugar, fat, etc). i tried to explain what it was and tell her the benefits to it. but she just shut me down and said i was trying to starve myself. i tried to show her how it isn't starving yourself just controlling when you eat and she refused to listen to me. ​ I then said she was just jealous for me trying to lose weight. she has been overweight/obese pretty much since i was born, except for some years when she really tried to lose weight. She then got very mad and took away my car keys (she bought the car, i pay for gas thats it) as well as my PC and xbox (i paid for both of these through chores). i tried to talk to my dad but my mom is.. very controlling of everyone in the house, and he just kind of did the whole "im not getting in the middle of this" dad thing. he does this alot and its annoying sometimes but he doesn't want to be the middleman in arguements, and to that i respect. So, to summarize AITA for doing IF? i don't want to starve myself but i dont think i am.

Europe-Variety-253

AITA for wanting to start Intermittent Fasting?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3elm/aita_for_wanting_to_start_intermittent_fasting/

17m3elm

I have a sister who is 25, I will call her Tessa. I am just going to be blunt and say I look better than her. It’s due to her not taking care of herself at all. When I was staying active she was not. I spend my money to get skincare and keeping my hair nice. She doesn’t, she doesn’t dress nicely either. She is always in sweats even going somewhere nice, overall I just look better that her. She has the money to do these things she just doesn’t. Now ever time I see her she will comment something about the way I look. If I tell a story that turns out good for me she will tell me it’s because I am pretty and so on. I assume she is jealous and I have talked to her about it. Now I just pasted my test to get my license for my job. I was telling the story at dinner and she told me I passed since I was pretty (makes no sense). I had enough and told her to stop saying I have pretty privilege and that it is her fault that she looks ugly not mine. She left the table after calling me a cunt and my family is split.

Jolly_Reference_7279

AITA for telling my sister to stop saying I have pretty privilege and it’s her fault she looks ugly.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3g2y/aita_for_telling_my_sister_to_stop_saying_i_have/

17m3g2y

I (30m) have been planning, working on, and building my computers since I was 12 or so. I've opened laptops to change parts, clean them, repaste them, and so on. I do not touch the stuff where I would need to do soldering, but as long as it is basically PC-lego or has screws, I have experience with it. I'm also into gaming. My friend (34f), who is the girlfriend of a very good friend, wanted a new PC and asked me to help her. In the beginning she just wanted a new case because she didn't have enough money for a new PC, but her old case was choking her PC anyway, and something broke for which replacement parts were no longer available. So, I looked for cases, explained the differences to her, and she decided on a smaller, but fitting case. I transplanted her PC into the new case and thought I would be done for at least a year until she had the money for new parts. Then, she got some money surprisingly and asked me to verify the parts list I made before we got the case. She had an old AIO (all-in-one cooler for the CPU), and I'm not sure if I asked her (she wouldn't know it anyway), but I seemed to have assumed that it was a 280mm AIO (2x 140mm fans on a 280mm radiator). When I was done building her sister's computer by transplanting her old one into another case, I built her PC. I usually place the AIO water cooling in the end because the tubes are in the way. I then found out we can't fit the AIO cooler in the top part of the case, but we had luck because it fits in the front part. But then the graphics card won't fit. We had some luck because she ordered the parts less than 14 days ago and can send them back for a refund. She will have to pay for shipping, though. She ordered a new 240mm one which will fit, but she might have no PC for a few days, maybe even a week, and has to pay something between 5-50€ extra. She is a bit upset about the whole situation of now using her old GPU (I was able to fit the old gpu in, whicv her sister should get, but she has to wait now too) until Sunday and then having no PC at all until the new cooler arrives. Her boyfriend is upset too because he "has to bear her being upset." Am i the a**hole here? I could be because I was responsible for the PC planning and building and I made a mistake that might cost money as well as time. Maybe please also answer me this: I have never broken anything when building or working on pcs/laptops from friends, until now i only broke my own stuff, where i learned on too. If i broke something while building/repairing, should i be paying it? I kind of feel like i have to bc i said i can do that and then made a mistake. Sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language and i put this text together on my phone.

DaGucka

AITA for making a mistake in building a friends pc

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3hjx/aita_for_making_a_mistake_in_building_a_friends_pc/

17m3hjx

Here's an interesting one, this morning as I was getting dressed and getting out of the shower, my wife came into the bathroom. To her surprise, only the light above the shower was on. She asked why I was showering in the dark, and I told her I didn't like it as bright in the bathroom when I was showering. She thought that sounded crazy and she had never heard of something so weird before. I guess I delved a bit deeper into the psychology of this all (why...?!?) and I told her if it wasn't the brightness thing, it's simply because I've always done it, ever since I was a kid. I'm 38 now. I dunno, just a habit? Keep in mind, I have the shower light on, it's just the other bathroom lights I turn off. AITA slash am I extremely weird for doing this?

bbestvin

AITA for turning off the OTHER lights in the bathroom when I shower?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3ly1/aita_for_turning_off_the_other_lights_in_the/

17m3ly1

I am transgender male. (FTM) and I was on holiday. Very short story I need some opinions on. A woman who was about mid 40 came up to me and asked me what gender I am, she said that I was “Confusing her children” I asked her to elaborate and she said ‘Are you a boy or a girl?!’ I reply back of course, boy. She says “Then take that bra off!” I say no, she replies back that I am a asshole selfish t slur who doesn’t care about the kids (even tho I myself am a minor.) I’m kind of torn, so Reddit, AITA? Edit: Okay so I’ve been reading this post over and i think I missed out on some stuff. This was not a public pool, it was a hotel pool. This woman came in the exact same time my family did Her children were just kind of chilling around, I never caught them once staring at me or anything. This was a few days ago, I’ll edit if anything happens with her or I remember something. Highly unlikely though.

SwaggySwagster_

AITA for wearing a binding swimsuit infront of kids?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3tb4/aita_for_wearing_a_binding_swimsuit_infront_of/

17m3tb4

Let's call this classmate Abby (not her real name) and she has been a pain ever since our first year in college. She flakes on practices for performances and rehearsals for upcoming reports. We've sent tons of videos she can easily follow and pracrice on her own when it comes to dances and other P.E. performances and waited at least 30 mins. for her to show up for a Google Meet call to rehearse reportings but she made excuses every single time (she can't make it, she doesn't have phone data/wifi, she doesn't know where the pracrice venue is, etc.). We have a subject that has a strict but fair professor. For reportings, the class is split into groups. The prof said that he grades by group and individually, if one member flops then their grade will bring down the group grade even when the others do great. Imagine Abby is the only person getting a 75 (this is considered as the passing grade) and the other 4 get an 85, that's a group ave of 83. Instead of getting a higher grade, that happens. Almost everyone has heard the stories of being in a group with Abby since she passes her part of the work last minute or not do anything at all. I have been in a group with her before, I just felt pity for Abby the first 3 times but I felt angry when the behavior continued. The groups were picked by students chosen to be the leaders of each group. Abby was the only one without a group. She asked if she could join the group I was in. I flat out rejected her. She asked why and I just exploded on her. I told her how she has frustrated me for long enough. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and even pitied her. I gave all of my sympathy and empathy for her but she has never shown me that I can count on her. She asked, "What did I ever do to you?" I replied, "You literally did nothing! You did nothing to help! We just wanted you to show some effort on your part but we did your part in the end!" The classroom was silent. I did feel bad but it's the truth and the whole class knew what she's like and Abby had this kind of work ethic since our 1st year and is now the 1st sem of our 2nd year. I honestly don't want to deal with her anymore. Maybe I was too harsh. I don't know. Am I the asshole?

Winchester_0405

AITA for telling a classmate why I don't want to be in the same group with her?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3trj/aita_for_telling_a_classmate_why_i_dont_want_to/

17m3trj

My (16m) parents are divorced. My dad cheated on my mom which is the reason why. I was 7 at the time. My dad ended up staying with the woman he cheated with and they had three kids together in the space of three years. Then their mom decided to peace out and she left my dad with the three kids. She hasn't seen her kids or done anything for them since but my dad does get child support for them, I think. Back when that all happened my parents shared custody of me. I was at my dad's one week and my mom's the next. But when I was old enough in our state (12 here) I went before a judge and asked if I could live with my mom primarily. The judge granted it but did order that I spend every other weekend with my dad, at least. After my dad's other woman left and was no longer apart of their kids' lives, dad turned to mom expecting her to step up and be part of their lives and to make sure I wasn't better off than them. But my mom never did. Sometimes I would hear dad saying she should have my half siblings over so they could see me more or so I could bond better with them at her house because he knew I didn't see them as just siblings and he knew I didn't exactly love them. It wasn't hard to figure out because I really didn't show any interest in them. My dad wanted to change that and he wanted mom to be part of it. I think mom must have accused him of wanting me as a willing babysitter because dad was super offended on the phone with her once and he said babysitting was the least of his concerns. He wanted all four of his kids to be close. Once I was only staying at his house every other weekend, my dad really piled on pressure for mom to invite my half siblings over to her house. Mom would do her best to keep it from me but almost every time I'm at dad's house he will text or call her about it and I hear him mumble about it or I hear him on the phone with her. He says the sibling relationship will "stay distant" if I hardly ever spend time with them. This whole thing is something I never really pushed back on. Dad has been worse with mom and with me lately and I was with him over a week ago and we got into a fight over it. He was like your mom should have them over for Halloween weekend because they'd love to see you and to dress up for you to see it and then he was like tell your mom you want to have them come over and I said no. He pushed and pushed and my half siblings were close enough to hear. That's when I said I don't want them to come over to mom's, I never wanted them to come over. I told dad I wouldn't care if I never saw them again. Dad yelled at me and then I yelled back. It was only after a few minutes we realized the kids heard because they had started to cry. Dad told me I should be ashamed for saying what I did where they could hear. He texted me all through last week about it as well and told me he was ashamed of my behavior. AITA?

MammothAd9853

AITA for letting my half siblings hear that I don't want them to come to my mom's house with me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3uer/aita_for_letting_my_half_siblings_hear_that_i/

17m3uer

My wife recently and unexpectedly lost her father. We were expecting and have our second kid on the way, going to be doing a home birth. The mother in law is very attached to her badly behaving dog, has never boarded it or let anyone go to her house to pet sit. She always brings it when she spends the night (she lives ~25 min away). The dog has peed on our white carpet in one specific room several times now both on pee pads we put down as well as avoiding the pads and hitting and staining a rug that was a couple hundred dollars. This is a dog that we weren’t previously even allowing in our house because it had growled / snapped at my toddler on multiple occasions. My wife wants MIL to be the one here helping with my toddler during the birth, so of course MIL has to have the dog here. Had her father not passed unexpectedly, they could have left the dog at home with him running back to take care of it. My wife (understandably) doesnt want me stressing about all this during the birth. So I said I would cover the room in pee pads and gate it off and doing that would let me not worry about it. She thinks I’m being neurotic and that I should just let it go for the night. I really value a clean home because I have lived in some places that arent so clean and my home is my sanctuary. My dad says I should just take it on the chin and commit to ripping up and replacing the carpet when the dog kicks the bucket, or perhaps getting it professionally cleaned and gating it off at a later time but letting it go for the home birth. AITA?

LooseBoysenberry7

AITA for not wanting MIL’s dog peeing on my carpet?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3uvc/aita_for_not_wanting_mils_dog_peeing_on_my_carpet/

17m3uvc

So a bit of background on me, I 29m was taken in by my grandparents (89f and 79m) when I was 14. To say my mother wasn’t the best is an understatement but this isn’t the place to air that dirty laundry. When i turned 17 my grandma was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer’s, it didn’t really come as a shock as the warning signs had been there for a few years. Me and my granddad spoke and we said that we would rather be her carers until she passes than ever see her abandoned to a care home. So that has been my life for the past 12 years, working full time and then coming home and taking over care of my Grandma, it was never easy but I never have resented her for being a burden, she is still my grandma, the person that took care of me, sewed my clothes back together and cooked me food. Now for the part where I feel like I am being an arsehole, I have started to deeply resent others in my family. No one else has even bothered to visit in the past 10 years, they all have the same exuse, my mother and sisters just say that they don’t want to remember Grandma this way, that they want to remember her for who she was, rather than what the Alzheimer’s has turned her in to. I try to understand and be reasonable but I can’t help but get angry and frustrated because where is mine and my granddads choice, granted, we made a promise to say but we don’t get that luxury of only remembering the good times, we graft and change her incontinence pads when she soils herself, we calm her down when she wants to go “home”, when she doesn’t remember who we are we never stop loving her because this whole situation must be terrifying, to be trapped with no control over your mind. The most anger I have is towards my big sister 39F, she was taken away by my grandparents multiple times because of abuse aligations towards my mother, my grandparents drove back from another country to keep her safe and she has abandoned us. My grandma still asks where she is, reminiscing about when she would run around the house and play with her toys and how she always used to make grandma smile. It breaks my heart to know that my grandma gave her life to looking after other people, and then when she needed people the most they simply tuned their backs. So AITA for my resentment, or is it justified? Or am I just looking for a place to vent? Who knows

Puzzleheaded-Cow-750

AITA for slowly starting to resent my family

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3y79/aita_for_slowly_starting_to_resent_my_family/

17m3y79

I wrote a information article about how different ways people can use Ai for both personal and business. One sectioned mentioned how one can create necklaces mock-up, posters, clothings ideas and even models using Ai. My friend was upset I shared that article especially the part where I mentioned necklace mock-up. He asked me to delete it because he wants to be the only one exclusively with that information ,and doesn’t want anyone to know about it because it’s beneficial to his necklace mock-up business. I thought he was joking and I said no. He said I was being corny for not deleting it because I’m his friend and that I should be understanding because he makes necklace mock-ups and that he doesn’t want others to know and use it and he wants to be the only one. He said that I should understand because he’s going through financial troubles. He told me that if that was him he wouldn’t do that to me. I let him know that he’s acting like a victim and that I am not playing this reverse psychology game with him and that he is selfish for asking me to do that. I asked him if me posting this affects his money and or business. He said no. He said to me that I don’t understand what he’s going through and that he’s asking me for one thing. Now he’s not talking to me. AITA?

Lavishhaze

AITA For Calling My Friend A Victim And Selfish?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3zbv/aita_for_calling_my_friend_a_victim_and_selfish/

17m3zbv

Hi! I (25f) am currently an estimated 7 weeks pregnant and I have morning sickness so bad I can barely leave my home. I don't live with my (44m) husband currently because I can't afford to break my lease to move out, we separated for a while and started "dating" again to have a fresh start and BAM, pregnant. Well anyway, his mom is hospice and as a CNA I totally understand how he's feeling as I also care for her as well. He calls me daily to get me to come over and normally I just try and keep the vomit down so it's not all inside of my car but the last 2 days I just can't do it and I was told I "tricked" him into this pregnancy so it's my responsibility to get there. So far, he has kinda sucked as a partner so I thought it was fair I don't make myself drive so sick like this. Well, he left this morning to get his sleeve tattoo finished, leaving his mom at home alone. He is mad that I can't watch her but all I asked him to do was drive to get me and I would. We live 15 minutes apart but he claims he can't leave her that long. He's currently with his tattoo guy and I'm just confused if I really am the a-hole. I have a short temper when I get sick like this and I told him since he can't leave his mom to do anything but get tattoos or alcohol I don't want him at any appointments and I'm bringing my mother. My mom has been doing what he should be and I think she deserves to be there since she's the only one who has been any comfort for this pregnancy. My 7 year old daughter helps so much too when she has no business doing what HE should be doing. May I also add I work way over full time because he has refused a job for the last 4 years. I know this may appear that I am trying to force the agenda that he's mean and horrible but I'm genuinely asking if I am wrong here. My personal feelings are that I'm not the only one who should put effort into this and it's not fair to me at all he can do whatever he wants but fights with me for not feeling well enough to risk driving. It's also my personal opinion that he should do what he needs to do or get out of my way and leave me alone. My mom feels just as mad as I do, but she's also my mom. She's normally pretty good about fixing issues and seeing both sides but she's a crazy protective grandmother. I just feel like I'm doing this alone, like he was a tinder hookup with consequences. I don't know, I am so emotional at this time. I almost feel bad for telling him he shouldn't come to any appointments if he can't leave her alone long enough to get me so I can make sure he's safe while he's gone for hours getting a tattoo. I can't get a grip on my crying and that leading to more nausea and I am just so overwhelmed. AITA because I won't push myself to make his life easier when I am the miserable pregnant one? Edit: I was the proud owner of a Mirena, an IUD.

rip-juice-999

AITA for asking my husband to leave his mom at home to pick me up to come over?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m3zse/aita_for_asking_my_husband_to_leave_his_mom_at/

17m3zse

I 18m have a friend 18m. Some time ago he started going out with this girl and me and the rest of our friend group all knew she was a bit crazy. (He wasn’t at our school for when it all took place) Basically she’d be very controlling with her ex boyfriend, threaten to cheat (imply it anyway) if stuff didn’t go her way and there where accusations of it extending to physically but it sounded tame enough so not going to hold that against her. We did all debate telling him this stuff but we decided that wouldn’t really be fair on her because maybe she changed plus he seemed to really like her and thought if she was that bad he’d figure it out soon enough. Anyway recently they broke up, when he was talking to us about it, he sounded like he felt bad or guilty about how he ended it. So we all told him we know exactly what she’s like. He then got EXTREMELY angry because apparently she put him through some shit and was wondering why the hell we didn’t tell him, we gave our reasons and he seems to be coming round now but still a bit resentful.

Previous-Ability6043

AITA for not warning a friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m44bs/aita_for_not_warning_a_friend/

17m44bs

Once a week me and my girlfriend go to dinner at her parents house. It's usually a very pleasant moment until her dog comes around. For prefacing she has an orange small-medium sized dog she rescued when her and her husband separated and my girlfriend was old enough to leave the house. The dog is 10 years old as of now and resembles a Spitz breed. Every time we go to her house the dog won't stop barking. When we enter the house,when we sit down at the table and speak a bit louder,when we get close to my girlfriends mom,when we move our feet under the table and he's close to her he will also bites us. If we laugh or get excited about something the dog will start barking. If we start discussing something and things start to heat up the dog will bark. When we leave the house and start to say goodbye the dog will keep barking until we are inside the car. It is unbearable. His bark is super high pitched and honestly that thing drives you mad. I also have sensitive hearing and for me it's literally the worst possible sound. We've tried countless of times to say it to her but she always says she doesn't mind. She is always spoiling the dog and treats him like her baby since he was a puppy and if you dare say something to the dog or threaten the dog (not hit or anything,just so he can stop barking) she will get mad. Her husband and her have gotten back together not long ago and the dog also bites him and he has already expressed his complaint as other member of her family have. The dog has bitten me as well before. This subject has been spoken about with her countless times and it's always a very touchy one because she'll start to get defensive about it saying "oh it's just a dog what do you want me to do?" And if you mention a dog trainer she just says that it costs money and they don't have that at the moment. This is really getting into me because I can't stand the bloody dog anymore and I don't want to stop seeing my girlfriends family over this. But we have tried everything under the table including asking her to keep the dog in another room when we're there and she says that the dog will keep barking either way until he's out. TLDR; mother in law has the most annoying dog that wont stop barking when we're there to the point its unbearable and I'm starting to think I'll stop visiting her due to this

natzw

AITA for not wanting to visit my mother in law because of her dog?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m47sl/aita_for_not_wanting_to_visit_my_mother_in_law/

17m47sl

I don’t think I am but I’m weirdly anxious about it. I went to a cafe about a week ago with my friend. I used their bathroom after we got a table, and realized that their soap dispenser had hand sanitizer in it. I asked an employee for soap, assuming this was just a mistake. My friend and I ordered food and drinks from another employee, I paid up front, and then the original employee I spoke to came back to let me know “they all have hand sanitizer in them”. I am still flabbergasted by this. I was like, “you don’t have any soap?” and she basically said no, sorry, and sked what kind of milk I wanted in my coffee. My friend and I decided to leave, so I asked them to cancel the order. Nothing had been made yet, and the second employee I spoke to, who I ordered from and paid, told me she handled it on her end. I kept apologizing and at one point she literally said “it’s fine, get out.” Anyway, they didn’t issue a refund. I had to call them a few days later to get my money back. It’s been almost two weeks now, and I told another friend this story last night and she said she went there a while ago and noticed the same thing about the soap. So today I called the health department. I am feeling weirdly anxious and guilty about it. Like I should have called the business and warned them, or told them on the day on question how gross it was, or something. I’m also anxious they’ll know it was me because they have my name from the payment/return. Did I do the right thing?

ThreeOfCups3

AITA For Reporting a Business for Not Having Soap

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m497w/aita_for_reporting_a_business_for_not_having_soap/

17m497w

So I (m25) go to watch my local football team to play football matches, generally I go to both home and away games. I often take turns to drive to away games as we find it easier but will sometimes get the coach if we want to drink. In this instance we had a mid week game about 6 hours away (6 hours there 6 hours back) so we thought it would be easier to get a coach. Found one in a Facebook group I am in for fans, I was messaged about this in the group and seen someone else recommend them. Rather than a coach it was a mini bus which is fine as there is enough room which I need due to being on crutches. Anyway the guy messaged 3 days before hand saying that people had dropped out and he was taking the 3 of us in a coach alongside another passenger. So 5 people in total for a 12 hour round trip normally fine but being on crutches and not being able to bend my knee this would just be unfair on the people behind me. I asked what car it was and he said not to worry it’s a big executive car so nothing was really said more than that. The day before I went to go on a drive with family and we couldn’t fit comfortably in the car with someone behind me so ended up taking two cars. Now the car we went in wasn’t small by any means and in fact turns out to bigger than the car he was taking us in which is a BMW 3 series. So I asked for a refund as someone else offered us spaces on a coach which meant I could put my leg out in the gangway. The guy said he would sort the refund out when is he his home from work. This was on Monday. And I’ve messaged him every day since to which he hasn’t replied but read every message. So two things really am I the ass hole for not going with him bearing I mind we probably wouldn’t have fit and then would I be the asshole if i put out a Facebook post warning others from taking his coach?

ProdigyPlays

AITA For requesting a refund on a coach I didn’t go on

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4c2b/aita_for_requesting_a_refund_on_a_coach_i_didnt/

17m4c2b

(Not my story, OP is posting from my account so no one can track it down to him) I (45m) recently lost my close friend (42f). A little backstory, I had been struggling with substances for years when I met her. She made her way into my life, helped me with my addiction and was there for me when I had no one. Her kind and stubborn nature drew me in and I wanted to better myself for her. Those feelings quickly turned romantic. One thing led to another and we started dating. We had some things in common, but we argued a lot. She told me a lot of her ideas, plans, career goals, etc. And we disagreed on almost all of them. She never took my word on anything, doing whatever she set her mind on, for better or for worse. Because of that, I've met one of my best friends and my current partner. But I've also lost sleep wondering whether she's coming back or not after each of her "adventures". We mutually agreed on a break up and decided to keep our distance for some time. We talked things through, made sure there was no bad blood between us. It took us time, but we figured out our friendship again. By that time, I had already started dating my current partner and the two of us adopted. Now, onto the story. She died due to health issues I shall not be discussing here. I had known for months that she might not have made it, but I still held onto that hope. She knew she wouldn't and kept telling me it would be alright once she's gone. That made her passing all the more devastating for me. She had already made peace with the knowledge and I couldn't change her mind, couldn't do anything about it. I have been a mess ever since I got the call about her death. And after the funeral, I can barely do my work. I'm pushing away my friends and family. I want to be alone. Most people who had known her tell me that I'm not the only one grieving, that they are also hurt and that I'm not special. Those things really started to get to me, especially since everyone is slowly moving on already. Blessed be my partner and my ex's daughter for trying to reassure me, but I need an outside perspective. So, AITA?

WhatAm-I-

AITA for pushing away everyone after my ex's death

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4f6k/aita_for_pushing_away_everyone_after_my_exs_death/

17m4f6k

I (47F) am an introvert with anxiety issues. I’m not always comfortable with people being in my house, even family & friends…but it’s a rarity. As a result, I have asked all my family and friends to please call/text to confirm it’s okay with me to come over before doing so. They all seem to understand and have no issue with it. The exception to this is my mother. She has a key to my house for emergencies and lets herself in whenever she feels like it. She refuses to make sure it’s okay to stop by and just shows up knocking at the door. If I don’t answer, sometimes she will just use her key and come in anyway. This has happened about ten times over the last year. Because of this I’ve started locking my screen doors so she can’t come in but she also has my garage door programmed in to her car so she tries to get in that way. It really makes me mad that she won’t respect my boundaries and simple request to confirm with me it’s okay to come over. I stopped answering the door if I’m not expecting someone. She says that I’m being TA because she shouldn’t have to “make an appointment” to see her own kid. After the last time, she stopped speaking to me and feels I owe her an apology. I feel she owes me one for not respecting my wishes. AITA or is she?

Angry5natch

AITA for not answering the door?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4fxd/aita_for_not_answering_the_door/

17m4fxd

AITA for starting to carry a pistol when I take my own dog (7 month old Chihuahua who is quiet and non aggressive) after my neighbor's dog has aggressively came after us (and other neighbors)? This dog (German shepherd) is owned by an older man who is smaller than I am and I am a 5 ft 2 120 lb female this dog has also gone after other neighbors and they have threatened to shoot said dog if it does bite someone the last time this dog has shown aggression towards me and my own dog was when I was standing in front of my own front door my dog was leashed and sitting quietly at my feet when the German Shepard started dragging this man full sprint at us I quickly picked up my own dog and was ready to full force kick this dog in the face he was able to regain control of his dog but ever since then I've been afraid to be out there with my dog for too long since she is so small all it would take is one bite and she's gone.

RevnaSkyfire

AITA for wanting to report my neighbor for his dogs behavior?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4gw2/aita_for_wanting_to_report_my_neighbor_for_his/

17m4gw2

(Sort of irrelevant to the story, but to make clear to those that tend to speed-read and misgender: we’re a gay couple; my boyfriend and I are both men.) My (32M) boyfriend (33M) of two years has been strapped for cash recently for a bunch of reasons (car troubles, helping out his mother with some medical expenses, and so on). I always earned more than him in general and my family is comfortable with money. I never had a problem offering to pay for our dates so we can do something nice over a weekend instead of staying home. He usually accepts it, but I can sense it bothers him to rely so much on me when we’re together. Cut to… for this next weekend, we were offered a cabin that’s owned by my aunt, and were planning a weekend getaway. He had agreed to go, but we were talking earlier today and he told me a friend asked for help to grade some papers (he is part-time Spanish teacher) - my boyfriend was wanting to know if it would be ok for us to postpone the trip (if maybe the cabin would still be available the following weekend); if not, he said he would keep our original plan and go with me, but he’d have to work most of the time. So I asked him how much he would be getting paid by his friend and when he told me, I said: “I’ll tell you what, I’ll beat that offer so I can have you all to myself”. Basically I offered to pay him myself so he could enjoy the weekend - I thought I was being cute and that it would be just like those times I paid for our date, but boy was I mistaken… my boyfriend got very, very serious and said I belittled him. Nothing I said could convince him otherwise… In my mind, I was offering to give him an amount of money that was irrelevant to me, as a way of showing him how much I want to cherish his company… Maybe I should find a way to apologize… AITA?

Even-Fun2959

AITA for offering to pay my boyfriend so we can spend some time together?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4hpz/aita_for_offering_to_pay_my_boyfriend_so_we_can/

17m4hpz

I live in the UK and most of my friends from university live in different parts of the country so we barely get to meet up. A couple of us met in June but apart from that it had been over 18 months before we all met up. We have been talking and trying to arrange something for this year. We have agreed on the 16th December as we're all free then and some of them are already near me anyway around that time due to work. We're meeting up in a city not too far from me and I'll be staying over for a night or 2. My girlfriends mum messaged to say their family are meeting up on the 16th December to go out for a meal and exchange christmas presents etc. My girlfriend mentioned this to me and I apologised but said I wouldn't be able to make it due to already having plans. I explained that my friends are only going to be up for that weekend so we can't rearrange. I asked if it was possible for her family to meet the following week if she wanted me there but she said it isn't. I apologised again and just said that while I wish I could go, it's been over 18 months since we've all managed to meet up so I can't cancel on my friends. She accused me of not prioritising us and said I should explain to my friends why I can't make it but I said I wouldn't be doing that. She said she's not asking for much and that I should be at her family meal since she should be my priority. I tried explaining that doesn't mean me cancelling plans I've already made with people I barely see. AITA for refusing to cancel plans with my friends?

thorwra4492

AITA for refusing to cancel/change my plans

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4ive/aita_for_refusing_to_cancelchange_my_plans/

17m4ive

Me (25f) had a family dinner with my fiancé, and my sister (22f) also attending. I happened to have my period and go to the toilet a few more times than usual in the afternoon. My sister supposedly asked my fiancé about why I'm going so frequently, because during the dinner, she started to talking to me about how I'm ruining my health with using tampons instead of free bleeding. She's been doing it for years now, and she kept on explaining why I should do it too, how healthy it is, how easier it made her life etc. I told her to stop, dinner is not the time to talk about this, and she still went about how it's only natural. My fiancé started getting visibly uncomfortable, and so did I, with my whole appetite gone. Me and my fiancé left early, and my parents (and sister) think I overreacted, but I honestly felt disgusted talking about period blood while dinner, and my sister told me I'm not invited next time for making a scene. I honestly don't know if I overreacted or not, it's just a sensitive topic for me apparently, and not my family.

Scared_Constant8694

AITA for leaving dinner when my sister wouldn't stop talking about free bleeding?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4llp/aita_for_leaving_dinner_when_my_sister_wouldnt/

17m4llp

im on my way back home from spending a few days in France with my boyfriend and his family, im a second year uni student as well just for context. my parents are going away this weekend to Scotland, and they wanted me to look after our two new dogs, i swear i told my mum that ill see how i feel after France and i’ll let her know, but she said i said i would. last week i went home, but my sleeping pattern was fucked up from my sleeping problems, so i kept waking up late. i felt bad and decided to watch a movie with them before i left to go back to my accommodation. my parents are now texting me saying im manipulating them and they are mad at me, i explained to them im physically unable to do anymore travelling and im seriously ill atm, i need to rest, but they’re mad at me because “they rarely see me” (which i admit is true, going home really messes with my mental health, but i try my best to spend time with them). AITA???

damnitidkausername

AITA for not seeing my parents this weekend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4mo4/aita_for_not_seeing_my_parents_this_weekend/

17m4mo4

A little bit of context: my wife and I were already living together for 2 years in Brazil, when we decided to move to Australia in order for her to do her PhD in a small town north of the country. 3 months have passed since our arrival and, as I couldn't manage to find a job in my field of work at that small town, I was forced to move to a big city, thousands of km away from her. 1 month later, after a bit of discussion with her PhD supervisor about her coming to visit me, basically she was told to live her life however she wants, as long as she does her PhD right: all her classes are on-line, even her meetings with her supervisor sometimes are on-line. Now I've asked her to move in here with me, and it looks like she is struggling with this idea, and the best argument she could come up with is that the plans at first were to live in that small town, and moving away, specially to a big city, seems too scary in her perspective, and that I'm putting too much pressure on her with this situation.

benywolf42

AITA for asking my wife to move in with me after moving abroad with her?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4mq7/aita_for_asking_my_wife_to_move_in_with_me_after/

17m4mq7

I was at a friends Halloween party. I woke up on the hospital and according to the medical reports my BAL was .31%. The host was arrested as well as her boyfriend. I had throw up all over me and the police were worried for my safety. (According to the police report) The hospital called my male friend to get me after an hour of being admitted into the hospital. He told them I said he was my boyfriend but the hospital told me he said he was my boyfriend on the phone. They discharged me into his care when I was still black out. I’m 26 and he’s 56. He ubered me to his house and we just sat outside. He ubered me home to the wrong address with no shoes on. I ended up outside with no shoes in the pouring rain in scrubs soaked. A neighbor found me on his pouch ( I guess to get out of the rain) and said I was completely incoherent. They ubered me home using my phone and sent the Uber to my mom (this all occurred at 5am). I woke up the next day and my purse and all my belongings were stolen. My friend said he didn’t have them and I had them in the Uber. I found the location of the guy who helped me and he said I was very scared about not having my purse when he found me. He said he didn’t see it but he will look around. I told my friend why did you get me out of the ER if you were unable to care for me? Why not tell them to contact my mom or someone else? Why Uber me home alone? He said at first I was forgetting my name then I started to have normal conversations and he thought I was fine to go home. I said your negligence put me in a very dangerous situation and made me lose my belongings. He said do not blame me for your purse and belongings being lost. I said I’m cutting him out and do not contact me again. I need people in my life who do not make careless decisions when they take control of my care. I would of rather been left in the hospital where I was safe. He keeps arguing with me and is now saying he was drugged. He is also saying he does not have my discharge papers and they never gave them to him. AITA for blaming my friend for my purse being stolen and not taking care of me? EDIT: I’m not asking if my friends are the assholes for me getting drunk. All those saying it’s my fault, be careful because my state has a host laws and if I get harmed from getting drunk on their property, they are liable. I’m not asking about this though.

throwrahelp900

AITA for blaming my friend for my purse being stolen who took me out of the ER just to Uber me home to the wrong address when I was incoherent?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4o14/aita_for_blaming_my_friend_for_my_purse_being/

17m4o14

I caught my partner cheating and obviously broke it off on the spot. The problem is that we live together and both of our names are on the lease. I offered to let them stay in the spare bedroom while we sorted this out and they declined. They are not currently living here and I told them if they want off the lease to contact the landlord, pay the fee, and to let me know when they do so, so I can find a roommate. I have had problems with them not acting as responsibly as they could and now that we are not together, I am not going to mother them to make sure they do what they need to do. It’s been two months and since I haven’t heard any updates on the lease, I ask for their portion of rent. I’ve had people tell me this is petty and unnecessary, but as far as I’m concerned they are on the lease and until they are not, rent is their responsibility even if they aren’t living here. So am I the asshole?

lemonikickit

AITA for making my ex partner pay rent?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4oqm/aita_for_making_my_ex_partner_pay_rent/

17m4oqm

It’s my birthday today and my “friend” text me saying HBD. The reason why I put friend in quotes is because back in high school, she picked and chose when she wanted to be friends. She didn’t think I was cool enough so she got with the “cool” kids and literally made fun of me with them. Then, when she wasn’t around them and she had no one else to hangout with, she hung out with me. I got my license before her and she literally used me for rides. If her boyfriend wasn’t around and she needed to go somewhere, she text me and asked me to “hangout” when in reality she just needed a ride. I know for a fact she did that. She’s engaged now and she promised I’d be one of her bridesmaids… but guess what, that didn’t happen. She had a bridal party and posted a picture on Facebook of her friends and work friends and didn’t even invite me. She’s always posting pictures with her friends and when we hangout she never takes selfies with the two of us. I think she’s embarrassed because I have a birth defect and I think she’s embarrassed to be around me. That’s why she only hangs out with me when no one else is around and she made fun of me with the “cool” kids. She texts me once in a while but I never text her back. Today she text me HBD and I don’t even want to text her back because I’m still kinda upset about the way she treated me and still treats me. I don’t even want to be her friend anymore. AITA for not texting her back?

Apprehensive-Elk9138

AITA for not texting my friend back?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17m4rlz/aita_for_not_texting_my_friend_back/

17m4rlz