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I recently kicked out my son who will be 23 in November. He has continued to show he has little care for what I ask, but is happy for me to support him financially. He does pay board, but not always on time and doesn't communicate when he's not going to pay. I have paid debt for him as he felt financially overwhelmed from a bank loan, just enough so he could continue with scheduled payments. He admitted he went on a bender and lost his way. I explained he needs to address why he's having benders. Advised to see a GP and get professional support. Things seemed to be going okay for a bit until recently, when I was on holiday received a call from his work as he was a no show. He wouldn't answer my calls until I threatened to phone the police. He didn't want to talk to me asked me to just text him. I asked him to grow up and at least speak, if he didn't want to speak then listen to what I had to say. I phoned and asked him to use his sickie day to collect his things and get out. I told him I feel he doesn't want a mum just a bank. I have not spoken to him for nearly 3 weeks. I have texted him, told him I love him and asked for him to call. NOTHING !!!!

Cold-Buy-6104

AITA Setting Mr 22 free

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jebk3/aita_setting_mr_22_free/

17jebk3

I am in a trio with two other girls. There’s one girl in particular who will only come to events if the other friend is there. Last year, we had a Halloween party and the other friend couldn’t come so she didn’t want to go with me. In general, if we hang out at school and the other friend isn’t on campus, she doesn’t want to hang out either. We brought it up to her before and she usually just brushes it off and have nothing to say. Because of this, I started distancing myself and hanging out with other friends that prioritize my company. This year, I went to the same party with my other friends but she got mad that I only go to things with my other friends even though she generally has a very flakey nature. I asked her if she wanted to go to another Halloween party this Friday. The other friend couldn’t come but she kept asking her to come to which my other asked why can’t she go with just me. She texts me on Thursday to ask if I want to go to which I say I am not feeling it. I then follow up to her text by saying I’m down to go if she is. To which she completely ignore my text. On Saturday, I call her out on the groupchat by saying I am upset with her and that she always dismisses my feelings by not taking accountability when I say what she does makes me upset. To which she left the groupchat, hid me from her stories and ignored my messages and didn’t console me. TLDR : I called out a friend (21F) for making me feel left out and now she is ignoring me (21F). AITA?

Infinite-Ad8466

AITA for calling out my friend (21F) for making me (21F)feel left out in a trio

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jecsm/aita_for_calling_out_my_friend_21f_for_making_me/

17jecsm

Today was my daughters 2nd birthday party, I went with a new girl that was recommended to be for the dessert. When I spoke to her over a month ago I sent her two different examples of what I wanted both decently easy. Price was not an issue, we would have paid whatever was quoted. We settled on an option for a 35 person 1 tier cake (marble cake with pink and white frosting with some glitter and white chocolate ghosts on it) and 40 ghost cake pops wrapped for part of the party favors. The quote including deliver was $180. We have been in contact almost every day this week confirming all the details. She was supposed to deliver it today at 9:30am to the party venue. Delivery cost was included. I paid in full in advance, and added a tip. $200 total. At about 9:45am she texted me that she was running about 40mins to an hour late, and would not be bringing the cake pops at all due to “an issue” and would refund us for them. At this post we are already at the party and guests are walking in, my husband ran to giant next door and grabbed plain cupcakes as a last minute resort. She finally arrived at almost 11am with a cake that looked nothing like discussed and was not even decorated as it should have been. She put the cake down and ran out of the venue. I texted her multiple times for a refund with no answer, she has since blocked me on all social media, and sent me $100 refund (half the total amount) the cake was awful and after cutting into it and trying it we ended up telling the venue to just trash it and went with the cupcakes instead. I’m furious and don’t know what to do. My family says it’s not a big deal and to be happy with the partial refund.

Significant-Chard999

AITA for expecting a full refund for my daughter’s birthday cake.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jee5t/aita_for_expecting_a_full_refund_for_my_daughters/

17jee5t

About to give birth to baby #4. I asked my husband to take 6 weeks off for paternity leave (he gets 12). He is taking 4. I have a postpartum doula for 50 hours for additional support. Due to my husband's job, we don't live near family. My parents have always come to help during Postpartum recovery and have never batted an eye. Husband comes from a rocky household. Divorced parents, Narcissistic Dad, Mom left the family when husband was 12, The list goes on. Husband's dad has never been nice to me. Honestly, I don't care for him. He is too manipulative. Husband asked his dad to come help with three-year-old when husband returns to work. So I can focus on the newborn. Older kids will be in school during the day. I am a stay-at-home mom. Not my first rodeo. Originally his dad said NO. Husband's dad recently got fired from job and now has made it his life mission to come “help”. I don't want him to come. Having judgy eyes watch me all day doesn't sit well with me. Husband's dad doesn't know the kids or me. I asked my husband to politely decline the offer. Husband does not want to hurt his dad's feelings and will not tell his dad not to visit. Husband feels that my family always has the upper hand and his family is second rate. AITA for rejecting FIL help after baby is born?

No-Association3838

AITA. Husband chooses his dad's feelings above mine

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jef0w/aita_husband_chooses_his_dads_feelings_above_mine/

17jef0w

I (45F) was invited to the wedding of a good friend. This is her (55F) second marriage. Her first wedding was very small and intimate which is what her ex wanted. For her second marriage she’s having what she wanted, a wedding in the vineyards of Napa Valley California. Most of her friends and family live in the area, the bride and her husband are from there although now both live in the same east coast city as me and two other bridesmaids. When I received the invite I was at first really excited for her, until I saw it was a week long celebration beginning on a Saturday and ending at brunch the second Sunday. I’ve spoken to her frequently about her wedding and she never mentioned it was a week long event. She also sent out an email later that day to all her bridesmaids (of which I am one) detailing her expectations of us, one of which is being there for her the whole week. I was upset because I can’t take that much time off of work. I also have other responsibilities like my kids. I reached out to the other bridesmaids to ask if they knew about it. One of her sisters is the MOH while two others are bridesmaids. She has three other friends (of which I am one) making up the rest of the wedding party. The three of us friends were taken aback that the wedding was to be a week long affair while her three sisters totally supported it. I met the bride out for dinner where I brought up the reasons why a week long festivity might be asking a lot for some. She started crying, saying she would do it for me if I’d asked (personally I don’t think she would) and cried how she never had a ‘real’ wedding before and really needed me there. I offered to take off as much time as I could knowing the max would be 2 days but then she yelled at me for being selfish and not wanting to be there for her which isn’t true. Her sisters called me later telling me how selfish I am and that I should do it for her. The other two bridesmaids supported me and said they also couldn’t take much time off from work and family obligations. AITAH for not taking off 5 days from work and family to be there for my friend? I have limited PTO so I wouldn’t get paid for those days off.

theroadtoeverywhere

AITAH for not being there for the bride?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jel4w/aitah_for_not_being_there_for_the_bride/

17jel4w

Some context: I (25f) went through a particularly bad period- one of my parents suddenly died during my final exams, couldn’t even go to the funeral and I’ve also got a chronic disease and I was and still am in a lot of pain (hopefully it’s not permanent). Anyways really bad period. I was invited to a b-day/ halloween party by an old friend and I decided to go thinking it will be good for my health. took some pills and hoped the pain won’t be too much. Fast forward, there was this girl who was a good friend in HS, Helen (fake name) and we remained in touch here and there. First she seemed annoyed that I didn’t want to drink and go out for a smoke with her, explaining that I can’t because of my medical problem and tried to persuade me that it doesn’t matter if i drink or stay in smoke (the final answer was no) Next, the b-day girl decided to give us a pop quiz with prizes about halloween things. Nobody took the quiz seriously and were talking between them. Well, Helen copied my answers and when I wanted to search for a question she screamed that I was looking on my phone (tbh, I barely grabbed my phone, didn’t even have enough time to search for the answer), she could simply tell me to stop, not make anyone stare at me. At the end I wanted to change an answer and she grabbed my paper and said too late. She even smiled when she checked my answer as incorrect. Ofc after that I was sad/ grumpy (more because she seemed to want me to do bad at the quiz, not because I lost the prize by one point) and she started to ask me if I’m mad because I didn’t win, Am I ignoring her, and I told her no, the she asked why I was speaking differently then (I was texting my bf, not really paying attention to her). Helen then started telling another girl that I was angry cuz I lost, I simply ignored them, my energy is too low for these kind of things now. And she also grabbed my paper so fast she cut me on the face, I told her this and she said I’m lying and she didn’t even touch me. I was at a loss of words. Luckily she left early and I still could have some fun. tdlr; aita for being grumpy after the pop quiz?

DeeDee_asks

AITA at the Halloween party?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jen4k/aita_at_the_halloween_party/

17jen4k

I have primary custody of our son. His dad generally sees him for a few hours every other week. This month he hasnt seen him or spoken to him in 3 1/2 weeks because he went on a weekend trip away on the weekend he usually sees son. Son has been asking for a night away to a local tourist spot for his birthday, this has been planned since june ish and ex was supposed to come. In september ex said he wont be able to afford to come because of the weekend trip he has planned in August, so we scheduled a meal out for this thursday (the day before we go on our trip) instead. Today I have text ex to confirm times for this thursday and he has said he cant come unless I lend him the money because he is off sick from work and has been underpaid. He said he can pay me back on Friday. WIBTA if I dont lend him the money? I have been saving for months for sons trip away and dont want to risk ex not paying me back before we go and being short on the day, but it means son wont have the meal for his birthday with his dad that was planned and I feel kinda guilty that I'd be the reason he doesnt see his dad for his birthday.

Mysterious_Safe_8042

AITA For not lending my sons dad money for dinner for our sons birthday?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jerr9/aita_for_not_lending_my_sons_dad_money_for_dinner/

17jerr9

I (M20) want to keep this as short as possible. Firstly, whenever I get angry I just write as a therapy. (Specifically when angry at people as to not say anything i’d deeply regret) Recently my Mom and I got into a heated argument that I decided to walk away from and write my anger out in my personal notebook. Yesterday while I was out she texts me with a ripped out page from my journal showcasing some things I had written (I admit I called her a bitch in writing). Yes, I understand I shouldn’t ever call my mother things like that. But this notebook is always tucked under my mattress, meaning she was not only searching my room, but doing a complete investigative swoop to have found something under the mattress. Say what you will about living under their roof but that journal is my personal property and there are many things I write in there that I wouldn’t even let my closest friends see. So… AITA?

BurntBill

AITA for crude writing pertaining to my mother?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jett4/aita_for_crude_writing_pertaining_to_my_mother/

17jett4

To provide context, we've dated before and I am not interested because I think he has narcissist tendencies. I am ok with myself not dating him/him choosing not to be my friend over this because my mind isn't changing ... But my fellow redditeers I think it is extremely inappropriate to ask a crush "what's so wrong with them." He asked me this as if my answer [ if I had one] would solve his disconnected view of where I am at. I could be the asshole because I condone hanging out whilst denying his advances for something more.

ComprehensiveWay3276

AITA? For telling my guy friend it's inappropriate for him to ask me " what's so wrong with him?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jeubw/aita_for_telling_my_guy_friend_its_inappropriate/

17jeubw

It was 5 am pitch black and I was riding my bike to swim practice. I am a 20 y/o male. On my way to the pool I have to go on to the sidewalk to take a shortcut into a neighborhood. So I went on the side walk and there were 2 women jogging side by side taking up the whole sidewalk. I had 2 choices either tell on your left and pass them, or wait 30 seconds silently and take my exit not bothering anyone. I chose the latter. So after waiting like 5 seconds one of the women looks back and screams. To set the scene I it was pitch black and I was wearing a hoodie but I had a bright rear light. after she calmed down she made space so I could pass. But the other women yelled at me that I should have made my presence known much earlier. I was pretty fed up at this point and mumbled sorry and went on my way. I don't think I'm the asshole and women are just overdramatic. It was also a relatively safe neighborhood. AITA?

Deathcurse7

AITA for following 2 women in the dark

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jew82/aita_for_following_2_women_in_the_dark/

17jew82

So I (m29) was on a big family vacation all paid for by my dad. So this included; my dad, all his children, and his grandchildren and so on. Also boyfriends and girlfriends anyone might be having. So thats close to 20 people total. With ME being the only one not in the religion my entire family grew up in. The situation arose because I discovered that my nephew (M23 I think) wasnt allowed to sleep in the same room as his girlfriend. Because sex before marriage isn't allowed. Now I already knew this, but thought that if a 3rd person also sleept in the same room as the unmarried couple it wouldn't be an issue. I could even sleep in the double bed next to my nephew with his girlfriend in a separate single bed. This should be fine right? Well apparently not. This is not allowed or "in a greyzone" according to my sister and her husband who I ended up having a batshit crazy discussion with. They claimed that while they had been respecting my decision about not joining their religion, I had not respected their choice, by multiple times suggesting my nephew and his girlfriend should be fine sleeping in the same room when I KNEW it wasn't allowed. I then proceeded to call them crazy for thinking that a couple IN the religion that knows what's allowed and what's not, would just like two animals continue to have intercourse in a room with a 3rd person in. My brother-in-law then claimed that I had NO idea because I had never been inlove or that crazy about a woman before. In a sense he's not wrong because I never had a girlfriend and I never been in love with another person before, goin from the description I've gotten from "being in love". My brother-in-law then said after I asked him, that he himself wouldn't say that while he was dating my sister, wouldve been able to stop "anything" from happening in a room at night DESPITE there being a 3rd person present. So yea. I'm starting to feel like I might should've known this or something.. idk.. also if you're deeply fucking in-love with someone but both agreed "no sex before marriage". Could you stay off of eachother sleeping in the same room if the 3rd person also sleeping there knew about the "no sex thing"? TL:DR and tiny update AITA for disrespecting my family's religion by suggestion that their rule or advice against about couples sleeping in the same room to prevent accidental sex before marriage. UPDATE. so I might have left a part out that shouldn't have been left out. The reason for even bringing the whole who is allowed to sleep with who, was because I was the one searching for sleepover spots on both the drive down and back from vacation spot. You know like a motel for a single night. I didn't know how many rooms to book and asked about about the unmarried sleeping rule. Then asking if they were serious about the "even if a 3rd person is present it's still not allowed. Because then I would have to book an additional room, and I thought that was a bit "much"

Castanac

AITA for supposedly disrespecting my entire family's religion?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jewo3/aita_for_supposedly_disrespecting_my_entire/

17jewo3

So this is some kind of a play stupid games win stupid prizes situation. Last night me(21f) and my boyfriend (22m) were chatting and i randomly asked about a crush of his who sent him a bunch of nudes. I never really asked about their situation in detail and i decided to dig into that. We are dating for 3 years and this happened almost 1 year before we met. So she asks him if he wants to see her nudes, he says no, she insists and sends the nudes but tells him to delete them afterwards, nudes stay in the chat, my boyfriend j*rks off to the pictures once only. I asked him if he remembered the pictures in detail, he refused to tell me at first and then after thinking a bit he described the color, the prints on the lingerie, the poses... So he remembered all in detail. And then I asked him if he remembered the first nudes I sent him and he doesn't remember them at all saying we send each other countless of them so it's hard to remember. This struck me so bad, I literally felt so hollow in my body and I just wanted to disappear. I didn't even snap at him, I was just really hurt and calm the whole time. I said I was breaking up with him for this and he said I was doing a mistake and he has eyes only for me and I know he never cheated or he has never been friendly with any other girls. Also she is getting married somewhere around this year and they have stayed friends ever since. AITA for making this an issue? How should i have reacted?

chububap

AITA for arguing my bf for still remembering his ex's nudes

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jewqm/aita_for_arguing_my_bf_for_still_remembering_his/

17jewqm

This happened a couple of years ago but it got brought up recently so I want the people's opinion. One year, my husband and I decided to host Christmas Eve dinner for my immediate family, which consisted of my two brothers and my parents. I made a standing rib roast, also known as prime rib. I love prime rib but rarely get to eat it because most restaurants don't have it on their menu, so I was particularly excited about this. I also made goat cheese mashed potatoes upon my friend's recommendation. My husband hates goat cheese and he also only likes filet mignon, so I made him plain mashed potatoes and cooked a filet. When I was finishing up the meal and my family had already shown up, I was trying to reheat my husband's mashed potatoes (I had made them earlier and put them in the fridge) and cook his steak. I got very overwhelmed with everything going on and I told him his steak probably wasn't going to be as done as he likes it and he may have to heat up his mashed potatoes a little more. To clarify, he did not help me with ANY of the cooking. He did clean up the house, which I appreciated, but he did not have anything to do with the preparation of the food or helping whatsoever. Dinner was a hit. My whole family loved it and raved about how good it was. After everyone left, my husband told me that he felt like I didn't put enough effort into his meal. I was shocked that he would say this because I went out of my way to make something I thought he would like, I just got overwhelmed at the last minute and didn't get it how he liked it. The way I see it, he could've taken over finishing up his food or sucked it up and ate what everyone else was eating. But, he decided to just complain instead. Again, this was two years ago. When it was brought up tonight, he told me that I was selfish, that I should care more about accommodating my husband, and this was very unattractive to him that I didn't want to make him a separate meal, and that I should be prioritizing his preferences over the guests in our house. So reddit, am I the asshole for not putting enough effort into my husband's dinner?

Food-dogs-naps

AITA for not putting enough effort into my husband's dinner?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jex57/aita_for_not_putting_enough_effort_into_my/

17jex57

I (24 F) am unmarried, with no children. Frankly I don’t have the most positive attitude towards marriage given how I’ve seen men treat my girl friends and the women in my family, and I don’t even think motherhood is for me. Now my grandmother is one of those people who are super old school (different times, I know) and my mom likes to remind me that she was already married and managing a household when she was my age, especially when I make mistakes. For my mom I brush the comment off but i tell my grandmother straight up not to bring up the subject of marriage with me and that I am not interested. Today I served my grandma food and she was complaining about the presentation of the food. She was telling me “you eat with your eyes first. Is this how you will serve your husband food when you get married?”. To which I got mad and replied “I don’t want to hear marriage advice from a woman who got cheated on dozens of times and stayed while blaming everyone else but the man who owed her loyalty. You wishing for me to get married is you wishing me pain and suffering”. Grandma got mad and wouldn’t speak to me. My mom and dad said i was out of line, my siblings said she had it coming. AITA?

PracticalEntry8309

AITA for telling my grandmother off when she brought up the fact that I’m not married with children yet?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jexkn/aita_for_telling_my_grandmother_off_when_she/

17jexkn

My Dad passed away last week. This girl has been terrible for years. My Dad had a heart condition and ultimately got a transplant. She was there when he died (for exchanged services). Back up a year. She called my sister and said "Check on your Dad because I think he's going to die". We couldn't get a hold of him and I asked her why she left him if he needed medical attention. She said "I'm a single Mom, I have to go to work". We didn't know what to do, call an ambulance? Where? She told me he was a stalker and could not stop seeing her and that he has an impulsive disorder that makes him see her. He paid her monthly rent, a new car, anything her child needed including dirt bikes and such. How does he stalk her if she goes to him for money and is the one that goes over to him house? Note, she is also in a relationship with another man that she says is her soul mate on Facebook. From what I am told she does this with lots of men. Anyways, I said you cannot come because this is a private event for family and close friends. We are doing a family sideshow with us girls growing up and exchanging memories, potluck style. It would not appropriate for someone like her to be there when everyone hated that she played with my Dad's feelings/heart and disrespected him so badly. He tried to leave her. She even cut herself and sent pictures saying she hurt herself because he wouldn't answer texts or calls. Her response after I said not to come " I get your upset and I’m sorry you couldn’t understand what Andy and I shared. I can agree it was toxic at times but the bond and love we shared for one another was a connection that was unbreakable he was my best friend but also my sons best friend. I’m sorry if you are uncomfortable believing, I don’t want to make any of you uncomfortable as this is a hard time for many people. (Including my family)….. Could we please keep this about what’s really important and that is your father. Believe me, I feel uncomfortable just as well as any of you, but if I didn’t go, I know for a fact that man would roll over in his grave so I will be attending, and I will also be doing a horse carriage drawn with my mother For his funeral as it was his wish. I am sorry, but this is all hard on everyone and I hope nothing but peace, love and happiness and most importantly strength to you and your family. This is a very rough time for a lot of people. God bless" She apparently thinks she will also be attending my Mom's celebration of life in April which is when we place my Dad's ashes with her. She died in 2004. They never knew eachother. This girl is you ger than I am... I'm 34. My Dad was 57. Edited: Spell checked asked to ashes

OliveXFlowers

AITA for not allowing the girl who sleeps with my Dad for money to go to his Celebration of Life?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jfaps/aita_for_not_allowing_the_girl_who_sleeps_with_my/

17jfaps

I am really struggling with this and need some opinions. For background - my grandmother (87) was diagnosed with dementia around January of this year. At that point she was still driving and living a relatively normal life, but things progressed very quickly. We decided to move her in assisted living in August while she was still fairly coherent as she had started to have falls and struggle with things like showering and occasionally eating and my mom cannot lift her alone if my dad was at work and she fell. At first, it seemed okay. They took her to a lot of activities, she mostly went to things in a wheelchair. There were a few minor things but we know how overworked the staff was and so we just overlooked them. In the past month, her disease has progressed. She is basically nonverbal most of the time except for the word no (which sometimes means yes), is mostly in the wheelchair, requires assistance getting to bed, needs help showering as she has forgotten how to, and has forgotten how to use a fork and knife. The facility has levels of care. Level zero is someone who needs zero assistance, while level four is someone who needs complete care such as a lift into bed, on hospice, etc. She is currently at level one. We do not mind paying more if needed. She is supposed to get three showers a week on a schedule. This has never happened since she has been there and we have had several meetings with them where they say they will make sure she gets her shower. My mom has often just driven to give her a shower. She is incontinent and should not have to sit in that, but they often do not change her except once a day. Her linens have been soiled and unchanged. We have cameras in her room which the staff knows about. We requested that they give her more finger foods to eat as she can still pick up things just not use a fork or a knife. If she has things that require forks she has to be fed or she won’t eat. Numerous times we have seen her get complicated food and no one stays to help her. A few times they have stayed to feed her, but some of those were because my mom checked the camera and called to get someone to help her. Yesterday while my mom was there they brought her a meatball and mashed potatoes and left, so my mom fed her. We have also caught them lying to a doctor about what her blood oxygen was - it was 87 (on a finger pulse thing but still) and they told the doctor it was 93. Again, we know how overworked and underpaid the staff is. And there are some truly wonderful girls who work there. I do not blame them and don’t want to be “that family”. I blame the facility for not providing enough resources. Would I be the asshole to nicely but firmly tell them that if she doesn’t receive some of these things, we will go elsewhere? Am I overreacting and is this just how assisted living is?

SafeSalamander7126

WIBTA for yelling at an assisted living facility?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jfew7/wibta_for_yelling_at_an_assisted_living_facility/

17jfew7

For starters, this family took me in when was in my late teens as their own. For the last few years, I have been part of the family, all the birthdays/ holidays. I've known them for a few years now, and been through a lot with them including a separation while married for 14 years between them both. During this separation, my “adoptive mom” was seeing this guy from work who was younger, compared to my adoptive dad. I felt so bad because she spent so much time with him on the side. After all, when they separated for a few months she got her apartment and he lived at the house. She bought him gifts, helped him get a house, went out to dinners and even let him meet me and my “adoptive sister”. Meanwhile, my dad was heartbroken over the separation and she's having a fling with this other man. Even went far enough to bring him to the house while they were separated. My “dad” was hopeful they would get back together and this was temporary but when she was with this guy made it seem like it was going to be permanent. It hurt seeing him so upset about this whole thing that I couldn't contain the secret about the other man anymore and told my dad. Almost a year later without my dad saying a word the topic is brought up and I am told that I betrayed my mom after all they did for me and he didn't need to know, a close family friend the only other person I told brought this up last night. So now I am not allowed to be in contact with them or any friends/ family, am I the asshole?

NextSun3736

AITA for telling my “adoptive” dad, that my mom was seeing another guy while separated ?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jfkom/aita_for_telling_my_adoptive_dad_that_my_mom_was/

17jfkom

I was on holiday with my family and my dad's friends family. I've known them a very long time but I admit the mother/wife of the family is very conservative and a bit judgey and over the last few years, as my body has developed she has been quite cold to me. The apartment we stayed in on holiday was nice but the two families had to share a bathroom. One evening I was getting ready to go out, I had just got out of the shower and I was standing looking in the mirror topless while I applied moisturizer when her husband (my dad's friend walked in) . Not wanting to make a big deal of it and to make it less embarrassing I started chatting to him and casualty walked over to my towel and picked it up to cover myself up before leaving so I could go to my room. No big deal right? An hour later his wife went mental at me accusing me of walking around naked. Maybe I should have reacted differently and told him to leave immediately but what's the big deal it's just a pair of breasts

Overall_Whereas2066

AITA for not covering up quickly enough when I got walked in on naked

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jfmkq/aita_for_not_covering_up_quickly_enough_when_i/

17jfmkq

The mortgage is in her name but she put my name on the deed when our son was born. We were pretty much in agreement that it was her house. 4 years later, I keep our son on the weekends. 3 months ago, BM lost her job. She had me sign a piece of paper that said, handwritten, “I no long live at this address” because she can’t get public assistance unless she has proof we don’t live together. My gf, who works in child support, says that she’s trying to put me on child support. BM had always said she’d never do that, but then my gf showed me the statues and I ran this by BM. She said she withdrew the application when she found out. Weeks later, BM says she can’t get mortgage assistance unless my name is off the deed. My gf says that something seems off. I signed the docs anyway, but BM told me the sig wasn’t valid so we agree to meet again to re-sign. The morning of, my gf says “i just got an email that a letter addressed to you from DSS is on its way”. I text BM. She says she got a call about it and was gonna tell me about it this evening and says it’s probably just a notice, and that if she wanted me on it, she wouldve done it by now. My gf says she’s BSing and explicitly tells me NOT to sign the deed over. Says that I need to file for 50/50 custody. Gf tells me to call DSS asap. Gf texts me an hour later with a voice memo with a rep from public housing assistance saying I do NOT have to be off the deed for BM to get mortgage assistance. I call DSS back and find that BM deliberately went and submitted the child support application. Gf tells me to stop all contact with BM and that this is now a legal issue. But none of this was consistent with what I knew about BM. I called BM and she admitted to everything, but said she didn’t know about not having to have me off the deed. She said she is only using public assistance until next week, and then she is revoking the child support case. None of that explained why she had to have me off the deed nor why she deliberately put in a child support application. I stated that because i don’t NEED to be off the deed, I will wait to sign it over. She hit me with “so now you’re trying to withhold my own house from me?” And knowing her, if I pissed her off by not signing it, she would keep me on child support permanently. I signed over the house. My gf argued that I shouldn’t give up the only asset that may help pay off the child support one day. I asked my family and coworkers and they disagreed. Saying trusting her is my best option and that it’d be best to sign over the deed to keep the peace. My gf said my BM controls me and that I am spineless and that I had no reason to give away the only asset I had. She even went all the way to say that she felt betrayed and that I chose to appease my BM over protecting our household finances. We have been fighting all weekend, but I genuinely felt like I did the morally right thing, as well as the only thing that’ll make BM drop the child support case.

throwRAbowlofchow

AITA for signing away a house to my baby mama even after finding out she put me on child support?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jfokn/aita_for_signing_away_a_house_to_my_baby_mama/

17jfokn

My partner and I have been in a long term relationship for over 15 years he is suffering from depression since his parents past away his mother most recently nearly a year ago. I feel like I bend over backwards to support him both financially and emotionally even to the detriment of my own daughter she is all grown up has her own flat but still would need her mum. He isn’t working and I work from home so he is the only person other than work that I interact with. I took a week off tried to arrange some time with my daughter but she wasn’t feeling well on the day we chose, so we said we would do it another time and the rest of my week off my time was taken up doing things with my partner skip to this weekend I decided I wanted to take my daughter for a Sunday Dinner I told my partner well in advance my plans cut to today Sunday I am on the phone and my daughter says I’m sorry mum I’m running late I say not to worry it’s Sunday I’m not watching the clock to just get ready and I’d be with her in half an hour my partner start saying tell her to come here she can have her dinner here and dictating. I just lost it and said he was welcome to join us if he wanted but that I was going to continue the plans I had made with my daughter once confronted he backed down saying he was mearly suggesting as she was going to be late. I left it at that and spent time with my daughter and had a nice time on the drive home I was thinking about what happened he was not suggesting he was telling me what to do he was dictating and loudly I got home and when the opportunity came I I tried to talk to him about it he cut my off saying that he was having a hard time that day missing his mom ending any conversation I immediately felt he used his grief and his condition to silence me I couldn’t bring myself to even sit in the same room as him and ended up going to bed early feeling like I am being manipulated and used.

Friendly_Shine_7878

AITA For feeling manipulated by my grieving partner.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jfsaa/aita_for_feeling_manipulated_by_my_grieving/

17jfsaa

My so called friend I live with decided to come home today with a new bigger refrigerator and kitchen island. He has a habit of impulse buying and not measuring for big items to fit the space. The house is very small, maybe 700sqft of living space. He didn't measure of course for the new fridge and island and they do not fit the space. He had a total meltdown like a toddler. He even said that he wasted $350 for these items. I agreed and asked why he impulsively bought these and his response was because I tricked him into it. Which I did not! We had talked about possibly upgrading these items but hadn't discussed things further. I'm so tired of him blaming me for just about anything. Am I truly the asshole or the crazy one here??

Stlchick90

AITA for agreeing with friend for wasting $350 on new kitchen items?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jfxia/aita_for_agreeing_with_friend_for_wasting_350_on/

17jfxia

I (F15) and my best friend (F15) had 3 other friends (M15, M15 and F15). We were all really good friends. I had known one of the girls (let's call her H) for about 3 years, and the 2 boys (let's call them R and K) for less than a year. Early into our friendship me and my best friend (Let's call her S) had noticed that K would make really weird jokes. Like not the norm level of weird. He made creepy jokes aswell as transphobic jokes and homophobic jokes (I'm trans and my best friend is gay). At first, we told him to cut it out because we were uncomfortable but we finally all agreed to cut him off. I had student council, and when I came back I saw K crying, with H running down hallways in school telling people to "f off"I was extremely confused so I asked S and she told me that H forced them to do it today because she "felt bad" But S ended up doing all the talking while R and H stood by and said nothing. K went to the school about it and we were forced into a room to "work things out" which I left because I wasn't dealing with this. S told me that K Admitted to being deeply in love with H (who had just gotten out of a relationship with her bad ex, who was K's BEST FRIEND) Months ended up passing as me S and R all cut K off completely while H still hung out with him. Eventually It all came to a head. My mom had been extremely sick at this time and being the only kid in the house, I was scared and had to take care of her all by myself and go to school. R knew this. R corners me and S one day. He goes off about how horrible we treat him (although the day before he had been disrespectful to S and her boundaries) and I couldn't take it anymore. I had been so overwhelmed already and I don't take well to confrontation and I ended up grabbing another friend and walking out so I could cry. Since again, my mom was sick, I had to rush home after school, which meant I couldn't wait for anyone. (I always walked with R and a few others who knew about my mom and were supposedly understanding). R H and K all hang out together without me and S and completely ignore us. Days turned to weeks with our attempts at contact failing. We find out through another friend, A, that they had started spreading lies about us to anyone who would listen that we were bullies who picked on people. This next part, I know I'm the asshole for. Me and S, being foolish teens, tried to force them to talk to us, we practically begged R to listen to us. H ran off in tears, which caused R to started screaming, which caused me to cry out of frustration. K ended up calling out to me "Cry baby bitch!" as me and S walked away to calm down. These frustration tears ended up as a panic attack.The teachers all blamed me for crying and yelled at me that I should know better and that I was an idiot for this. R, K and H still make fun of me and S, and stare at us in the hallways, so Im still wondering, Am I the asshole?

orbitsi

AITA for crying in school?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jg0ka/aita_for_crying_in_school/

17jg0ka

My son was just done being sick with a head cold and was at church for a tailgate party with his brother and friends. It was 42° so the party got moved indoors because people complained about the cold. What he didn’t tell me is that he brought extra cloths to change into behind my back. He brought a short sleeve shirt, and a pair of cargo shorts. When he was previously wearing jeans a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie and changed cloths inside when all the sports has started being played. He played all the sports inside the church (Because this church has a gym inside) and when I came back to pick him and his brother up he walked outside to the car with just a hoodie over his short sleeve shirt and his legs exposed with those, cargo shorts. I was furious and yelled at him from the car I just couldn’t control myself! I let him know he’s grounded and that I was going to add screen limits to his phone, until Halloween is over. We got home and I immediately added screen limits to his phone now and now he’s mad at me. AITA for grounding him because he was wearing shorts in cold weather.

Yummy-Yummer6282

AITA for grounding my kid because he was wearing shorts in cold weather.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jg5xv/aita_for_grounding_my_kid_because_he_was_wearing/

17jg5xv

I’ve been looking for a place to stay the past few months. This month i(23f) met avery(25nb) we both needed a place in the same price range. I informed avery that I would still be looking at solo listings on the side and encouraged them to do the same. Avery had a hard november 1st deadline at their current place. Im staying with some older friends of mine rn and they said i can basically stay here until the spring if i wanted too but i would like to have a place of my own asap. I found some listings online and connected us with a two different leasing agents. Avery never showed me a listing. I thought their lack of urgency was odd but i didn’t really sweat it as i didn’t consider it my business. I asked how their solo hunt was going halfway through the month and they basically said they expected our situation to work out. I said i hoped our situation did too but i was still solo hunting we saw a few more listings. Avery either didn’t like the unit itself, thought where too far from the train or too far from their work. This is an area we definitely where both at fault. In the future i think i’d set up hard boundaries (ie we have to live north of 3rd street but south of 25th steet) eventually we saw a place they loved but i didn’t like it. It was an hour away from my work(previously a deal breaker for them) and it was right at city limits, 3 miles from my nearest friends and was pretty indistinguishable from living in the suburbs. I said i didn’t like it and avery asked if we could do an application and sit with it. I said yes since the app fee was 30 bucks. Yesterday i said i still wasn’t feeling the place and they started texting me that i was stressing them out since it was almost the 1st. I said we should call. When we called they started crying and basically said i was going to be responsible for them being homeless. I didn’t know how to respond and asked if i could think on things for a couple hours. They started panicking more and said even if we did live in the place i would be unhappy there and that made them upset and that it was a good place and i should be happy there and there wasn’t enough time to find another place now. It was very odd. I said i just needed to think and hung up. I called my parents and talked to my friends i’m staying with and i decided to send a text to avery saying. I was very disturbed by the way they where treating me and would not want to live with them even if we found a better apartment. I do not feel i am responsible for arranging avery’s housing and they could’ve acted with more urgency throughout the month, they found no listings or leasing agents for us and they didn’t search for solo listings like i recommend. I wished them the best and said hope they do find housing before the 1st. I feel bad for avery however i do not feel this was my fault and i think they are the ass hole for putting this on me. But i’ve never dealt with anything like this before. AITA?

BaristaGirlie

AITA for telling a potential roommate(25nb) i(23f) for no longer want to live with them shortly before the first of the month.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jgfzv/aita_for_telling_a_potential_roommate25nb_i23f/

17jgfzv

My friends are a married couple and they own a cat that I absolutely adore. I have pet-sitted for their cat three times in the past, for over a week each time. All of these times it was a last-minute “emergency situation” and I was given almost no notice at all. Then my friends got a puppy. They called me on the first or second day the puppy was at their home, to please go to their place (with like one hour’s notice) and look after him for a couple of hours. I ended up spending most of my day at their place while they were out at a spa. Some months later I became unemployed, and they asked me if I would be willing to pet-sit for their dog on the days when they were working. They told me they would pay me for this. (They had NEVER before offered to pay me for any of the other times that I had looked after their cat). I wasn’t even expecting money then, and I was happy to help because they were my friends, but I felt enough was enough. So I refused and explained to them the reasons I was not comfortable with that kind of arrangement. I told them that I was flattered that they trusted me so much with their animals, but that it wasn’t something I was willing to do again. My friend was quite offended by my refusal and was very insistent, not taking no for an answer. I stood my ground and the friendship started to deteriorate. \---------------------------------------- Fast forward to the present, some years later. I am jobless and going through a very stressful period in my life. I'm really struggling with my mental health and can't really handle last-minute plans right now. I live alone in a foreign country and due to circumstances outside of my control, atm I have no family or support system around me other than these friends. They mean a lot to me, in spite of the differences and misunderstandings we’ve had in the past. They are hard-working people with very busy lives, but recently they took the time to do me a huge favour by helping me move from one house to another. One month later my friend calls me, she is going abroad and needs me to look after their pets for 4 days (she said someone else had failed them last minute and I was their last and only option). She asks me to stay and live at their house during those days. She explains I only have to feed the animals and walk the dog once or twice a day. I ended up saying no to her. While I was trying to explain my reasons as honestly as I could and offering to help her find someone else to look for her pets, she suddenly hung up the phone. She sent me two very hurtful messages shortly after, informing me that the friendship was over. She didn’t offer to pay for the pet-sitting, but I wouldn’t have agreed even if she had. One of my personal reasons is not feeling comfortable looking after a dog or staying at someone else's home while they're away, especially when I'm struggling so much with my mental health. I’m heartbroken right now. Am I the asshole for refusing to help while I have no job/responsibilities?

Significant_News_706

AITA for refusing to pet-sit for my friends in an emergency while I am jobless

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jgiuk/aita_for_refusing_to_petsit_for_my_friends_in_an/

17jgiuk

Me (F 19) and my bf (M 25) are in a 10 month old relationship, through our relationship he never posted me in his insta account because i have body image issues but never told me so so i assumed he didn't wanted to post me like my ex did (my ex felt embarrassed because i was a medium sized girl and never wanted to post pics together). And 1.5 month ago i realised that he had a pic on his profile from 2018 with his ex and his friends. Some might say its a group photo and it doesnt matter but i felt cheated on. I felt worthless because my ex did not wanted to post me but my bf posted about his ex and didn't even delete the pic after she broke up with him. When i said why that photo is still up he said I didn't fight with her and we're friends and im with my friends there. I feel betrayed and as a 19 y.o teenager i think i know better. I know that its the normal thing to do to delete photos with your ex because your friends that dont know that you have broken up might think that you are still together. I'm not saying that he should announce me in his profile as his new gf but her appearence and my absence in his digital life makes me feel worthless. Maybe his friends think he is still with her. Because whenever a guy that i knew that had a partner texts me in a flirty way i always check his profile to see if his photos with his partner is still up there. Most of the time the photos are gone which means they are not together anymore and thats why he texted me in a flirty way. So i believe the photo of his ex still being up sends the false message. I told my opinions and he tried to explain why the photo is still there and that made me more angry because the right thing to do is delete is as soon as the relationship is done. I was angry so i called him stupid. I dont seem to forget about it and it hurts me that he did this to me. I asked him if it was an important day and he said no. He says im his family but he hurt me for a couple of friends in a normal day. That normal day ruined many of my days that could have been good or at least normal. I cant seem to accept his apology and it feels like ill never be able to do so. And I posted our photos as a story all the time. After my emotional combustion he deleted the photo. And I said im never posting us ever again and i wont let you to post me ever. I said something hurtful. I said "You never get to post me because you might not delete it when we are over and your next gf doesnt deserve what i have been through". I posted him because i wanted to share my happines after being away from school because of my depression, to show everyone that i'm happy now. Also me posting photos with him sent the message that im taken so less people bothered me and tried to flirt with me so i felt peace. Long story short i have this burning pain and anger within me and it doesnt seem to go away even though i love him so much. AITA?

_sybilvane_

AITA my bf had a photo with his ex on his insta through our relationship

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jgqyz/aita_my_bf_had_a_photo_with_his_ex_on_his_insta/

17jgqyz

I(18 f) was at my best friends(19 f) family dinner earlier and the dinner went great and after we both went to the bathroom, while we were in the stalls, one of her family members came in with her daughter and we overheard her tell her kid to put soap in her mouth and to keep it there and they left, I was already pissed at hearing this but didn’t say anything then but when me and my best friend were washing our hands the little girl came back in the bathroom with bubbles hanging out of her mouth and we watched her walk to the sink and shamefully spit the soap into the sink, that made me really upset so when the girl walked back out of the bathroom, I turned to my friend and asked if she really did what I thought she did and my best friend responded by saying yeah but it’s fine she was bad so she got punished, I was shocked but left it at that, later on when we were in the car I brought it up again and explained why I think it was wrong my reasoning being the soap had chemicals that could be dangerous if she accidentally swallowed, it obviously embarrassed the kid, etc. But my best friend insisted that it was fine and that it’s not my kid so I should leave it at that, it turned into a kind of heated discussion and we haven’t spoken since, she if currently out with a friend and didn’t say when she’d be home(for context we have lived together with my parents since we graduated high school a few months ago) I know it isn’t my kid so I should probably mind my business and drop it but it made me really mad and I’m kinda hurt that my best friend didn’t at least try to see why I think it’s not ok.

PresenceNo8807

AITA for saying something to my best friend

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jgtcf/aita_for_saying_something_to_my_best_friend/

17jgtcf

Backstory... The passed.... Every since they've been married, my sister in law has come up with excuses after excuse to not bring ANYTHING not store bought to Thanksgiving (ie. easy shit, drinks, dessert, paper fucking plates [it's not a money thing, they have money]) or ANY family functions. I do know not everyone does things pot-luck, but that's the way my wife's family has always done it. This year my wife, her aunt, and her mother all decided they'd had enough. We're providing EVERYTHING but sides and asked everyone to bring something. So far everyone is.... Expect my SIL. My BIL just called and evidently they are trying to get out of coming at all . It's "too many people" they claim and are going to do a smaller gathering the next day with just direct family (no aunts or uncles or cousins, even though they're at everything and always have been) . You might say well HOSTING is much more work than making one dish.... But my BIL will cook EVERYTHING if they host, she'd have to cook a dish if they came to ours. I've already told my wife, black Friday is when we go to the Christmas tree farm and get a tree as a family.... I'm really trying to cement the tradition before kids start leaving home, you know? My wife is right (did anyone record me saying that? Lol) if my SIL and BIL make a big enough stink, they'll probably win and get their way... I'm just not going. If having a big family thanksgiving isn't their thing because she's too lazy to make one dish while I'm making food for 30 people, then they won't mind one less person at their house the next day....AITA? Edit: it's not about who cooks or even if they bring anything, no one cares. We just really want to have the whole family there for Thanksgiving this year. I believe there is another reason they don't want to come.

5lutwaffle

AITA for refusing to attend SECOND Thanksgiving?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jguje/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_second_thanksgiving/

17jguje

Background: Me, somewhat tired, boy mom. I’m American, English is my native language. Still suck at it. It’s late Sunday. Laundry time! I do load after load. They should be set for the week, my sad, feeble, middle aged mind assumes. However, my kids are abysmal at getting laundry in the bin. Omg. I’ll empty the bin, next thing I know, it’s an hour later and they yell they have no underwear! I get a broom and shockingly one will have 10 pairs of underwear under their bed/beanbag/etc. wtf. This has been ongoing for years. For added excitement - this week is Halloween! We have all the Halloween themed things, candy coming out of our eyes, ears and noses. But not out of our POCKETS. Youngest kid chucks his shorts in the bin…with a KitKat. I told them the next time I wash a KitKat and find chocolate encrusted clothes - that they will be their own laundry service. They say I’m “mean”. So…AITA? EDIT: for reference, my guys are 10 and 12

MargaritasAndTacos

AITA for telling my kid he needs to wash his own laundry?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jgzm6/aita_for_telling_my_kid_he_needs_to_wash_his_own/

17jgzm6

Here’s some context: My SO and I live together and have for a while and are currently engaged. A few months ago, he bought a new handgun as a birthday present for himself. Now, this I was not exactly surprised at, as he had more or less *told* me this was something he wanted to do and to have so that if something were to ever happen, like our apartment being broken into, he could protect us, which I do think is sweet. The problem is that I absolutely DESPISE guns. Like, I absolutely HATE them. Idc if other people own them, but they make me incredibly anxious, which he is aware of as well. My dad also has a few guns as well for the sake of protection, which again, don’t love it, but I can’t control it. Now, my SO bought it on his birthday and brought it home. I was kind of shocked because I didn’t think he would buy one so soon and I was basically really stressed about there being a gun in our apartment now permanently but I was so panicked and pissed off in a way that I was really standoff-ish towards him at dinner that night and had a really bad attitude. I admit that was rude of me and I really soured the evening. Fast forward a few months later and he and my dad want to go to a range and take classes to learn more about them, etc. I’m totally fine with that, and they get along great, and it will be good bonding. But my fiancé is convinced that I am scared of them bc I don’t know how to use them and I told him no, I’m scared of them because they’re guns. He wanted me to come with him and my dad and I said no. He got frustrated and said we could do it when I have availability with work and I said that I won’t be going even if I were available. My fiancé also asked me to ask my dad when he would want to go with him since I talk to and see my dad a lot more often, and I told him that if he wants to go so bad, he can talk to my dad himself. He also tries to show me how it works so i understand and am not scared and I do try, but I end up just tuning him out, going on my phone, or leaving the room and shutting down the convo because I get so anxious that my chest hurts. So, AITA? I really do appreciate the sentiment, but I also want nothing to do with any guns ever. I feel like I’m being a B about it and am causing contention but I don’t think I can change my feelings toward them, and I think I’m being selfish.

usernameistaken528

AITA for actively not showing support for my SO’s interest in guns

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jh0rk/aita_for_actively_not_showing_support_for_my_sos/

17jh0rk

My boyfriend of 4 years asked to "buy in" to be joint owner of my home. I am a single mom of 2 boys and breast cancer survivor. We met while I was taking radiation. He moved in pretty quickly after we met and I thought this guy was the one! We seemed to have the same goals and he seemed interested in helping me and I was interested in making a home for him. Fast forward to Thanksgiving when he proceeds to cuss my father out. I wasn't there for the exchange but defended him and essentially chose him over my parents (I am an only child and my parents are the mortgagee of my home which was built my grandfather. ) I told him no, that it wasn't possible for him to be on the deed even if i wanted him to be. My parents would never sign off considering the bad blood but I was still eager to make this his home. When he moved in, he said he would pay rent and utilities. I never received rent and only until the last 3 months has he paid half if the utilities. He did pay a gas bill that comes due every 3 months or so. He also did help with a few repairs to the bathroom and plumbing. Since he's been here, there's been a roof replaced and an HVAC replacement that he has not contributed to. I get it, he thinks as a nonowner, it's not his problem. So while I have incurred debt, he has been paying off credit cards ( over $10,000) and making double and triple payments on his vehicle. A week ago he tells me he has bought property. A house...I knew nothing about it. He has since moved out into his "Legacy" home. I make half of what he does and frankly nothing is going to change too much for me financially except I did have to buy a new washer (oh, he even wanted to take the shower head! Wtf?) Kicker is he wants to maintain the relationship! This is a "reset" for us to be on a "level playing field". I am angry, confused, sad and hoping that what has happened isn't what my gut is telling me happened. Please be kind, I already feel foolish enough.

SolutionFirst5215

AITA For Not Putting My Boyfriend on the Deed of my House?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jh7v8/aita_for_not_putting_my_boyfriend_on_the_deed_of/

17jh7v8

I'm a 19-year-old college student and this conflict has to do with my roommate (19M) and his girlfriend (19F?) whom he recently started dating. For context, our apartment has 2 bedrooms, so we just share the kitchen and bathroom areas. The conflict itself took place yesterday when I was exhausted after commuting to and from my 7-hour internship. In total, I spent 8.5 hours between the train and work and wanted nothing more than to just relax when I got back to my room. I ended up chilling on my computer until 12:30 and fell asleep around 1 AM. My roommate still wasn't back as his door was wide open and the room dark, so I figured he was out at some Halloween college party. No big deal, I figured he'd be courteous and quiet when arriving back home. Well, I was completely wrong because I woke up at 5 AM to extremely loud laughs coming from his room. To top it off, I had my earplugs in and white noise on, meaning they must've been pretty darn loud to wake me up. I ended up stepping out of my room and checking the common area, only to see my roommate's door halfway open and hear him having a loud conversation with his girlfriend. I texted him, politely requesting him to quiet down, as I was too sleepy to confront them. He left me on "Read" and I ended up falling asleep. The next morning, my best friend called me after I woke up and I started venting about my loud roommate and his annoying girlfriend since this wasn't the first time they had done this. I said: "she's annoying as shit and her ass is over 24/7, why can't they both just f-off?" and at that moment, I heard movement from the common area of our apartment and realized my door was partly open and they heard everything I said. My roommate has since apologized but has been pretty cold and avoiding eye contact with me since. AITA for saying that?

Superb_Candidate1137

AITA for cussing out my roommate and his girlfriend after they woke me up at 5AM?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhblu/aita_for_cussing_out_my_roommate_and_his/

17jhblu

so I (24m) just took out the garbage and saw a long line of several rows of ants spanning from one neighbor's yard, through our yard, into the next neighbor's yard and further down. after coming back in, I told my dad (76m) about the crazy long line of ants, and he handed me a white plastic ant trap (like a roach motel but with a smaller opening intended for ants) and told me to go put it in the pathway of the ants. I refused because putting the small plastic thing outside on the ground felt to me like littering, and I'm very environmentally conscious. I politely declined and explained that to him but he got mad and started saying it wasn't littering and to just do as he asked because he was worried about ants getting in the house. I refused once more, more firmly this time, and he said he'd do it himself later. I advised against it and said if he did that I'd go out afterwards and pick it up. he said I was being rude and stubborn but I'm not so sure that I was. am I in the wrong here? I admit I did raise my voice a little, which I probably shouldn't have done, but I only did so because he kept insisting I put the ant trap outside and wouldn't listen to me until I got louder. but should I have just done what I was told, or would that be littering?

MetaKnightUltra

AITA for not putting a plastic ant trap outside?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhfmb/aita_for_not_putting_a_plastic_ant_trap_outside/

17jhfmb

Throwaway My friend Janine and I (both F-late twenties) have been good friends for about 7 years. In the time we've known each other she's had one boyfriend, but after they broke up she never expressed any interest in having one, so it's been a few years that she's been single. The other day I was messaging a mutual friend (Tom) and within the conversation he mentioned that she had a boyfriend. I was really surprised and said "No way! She'd tell me if she had a boyfriend!" He said "just look at her Instagram story". But when I looked, she didn't have a story available. I was confused so I messaged another close friend and asked if she could see Janine's story. She couldn't. So I realised that Janine had blocked us from seeing her story, and therefore from knowing about her new boyfriend. I couldn't just hold onto this without checking with her so I messaged her directly about it. She was really angry, especially at Tom for "violating her privacy", and that she "wasn't ready" to share the news. I told her that she was clearly comfortable sharing the news with other people on social media, and that I was upset that she had deliberately hidden something from me. That she had to have pushed the Block/Hide button on her story. Since then we haven't really spoken. I feel so terrible that something like this could break up an otherwise great friendship. I can see how she would be mad at Tom, but it seems like he wasn't aware that it was supposed to be a secret. And I can see how my reaction might have been over the top but I was just really blindsided by the whole thing and couldn't relax without trying to clarify with her. AITA for asking her? Should I have just let it go?

GroundbreakingFun15

AITA for asking my friend why she hid something from me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhhfy/aita_for_asking_my_friend_why_she_hid_something/

17jhhfy

For context, I've known this girl (who we will call Cathy) for a long time, we kinda grew up together, but we were never really that close until we ended up going to the same high-school. With that said, even in high-school our relationship was constantly strained because she literally would not talk to me. Every-time I brought up basically anything that wasn't something she was directly interested in she would just straight up not respond. Something hella annoying when she is not interested in anything (one of the most boring people to ever exist) I'll admit Ive always had a temper and that's on me, but only my real friends can see it sometimes when I release the beast. I had a really tough childhood (drug addicted dad/ horrible living situation) and teenage angst isn't doing me any favors either. Anyway, I was talking to Cathy about it one time and I made it clear that this was something I wanted to work on about myself, since I know it will not do me any good. Ever since that moment any semblance of a disagreement we have she plays the "you have anger issues calm down" card and she has sometimes said it in front of multiple people when I was as calm as a cucumber. I feel like she goes out of her way to embarrass me, and she only says it because she knows I will get angry at her saying THAT but everyone else around us will misunderstand. One time we were taking laps around the field with Cathy and another friend (who admittedly was closer to her than me because they were in more classes together), I made a comment about how a fundraiser myself and another friend was running (battle of the homeroom kinda things) was rigged because a judge changed her scores at the end so that the person who she wanted to win would have way more and the other judges votes would not matter. Cathy (who would have directly benefited from this stupid rigging) said that I can't just call the competition rigged because someone disagreed. She said I can never handle being wrong about anything (this is something we were voting on based on our own opinions...how can I be "wrong"?) and yet again brought up how I was morally unjust and illogical because of my issues. I had enough and I blew up at her (which was stupid because I know that's what she wanted), and sulked away from them like a pathetic loser. My question is, am I the A-hole for blowing up at her? Or for blaming her for issues that I really do have?

Udontknowne2

AITA for getting upset with my friend because she keeps saying I have anger issues?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhhip/aita_for_getting_upset_with_my_friend_because_she/

17jhhip

My partner (24f) and myself (26m) have been dating what will be 10 months now come this November. We have a solid relationship with great communication and what seems like streamlined communication. We both support each other and try to boost each other’s self esteem through our words and actions. This is not my first relationship and it’s not hers either. We met through friends and we really clicked. I didn’t know much about her before we ended up getting serious. Through a few months of dating everything was going well but I started to see her social media feed become a very show-offy feed. Some things I necessarily wouldn’t post or want seen by others but it’s her life and therefore her choice. We have talked about my feelings on it and she does see things from my perspective too. One of, if not, her favorite holiday is Halloween. She loves everything related to it from the pumpkin patches to the haunted houses. She really however loves dressing up and going out. I’m not the biggest party attendee but I’ll go and enjoy myself if my partner would like to go. We had plans to go out this past Friday night but those ended up being cancelled and she went out with a friend from home. All good things happen. Saturday came around and she told me she was going to a semi-local, big city by us for a party with some friends that I don’t know. She updated me on who these friends were which was not needed but a kind gesture. These friends were not ones she normally hung out with and it was a coed group. I told her that if she wants to go, to just text me and update me on her location and events. She said that was fine and off she went. Now this city isn’t the safest place in the world so I would like to know where she is and what she is up to if she’s changing places that she is at; like bar hopping or different apartments. We also touched on her outfit choices and she said that her friends had already picked out a group outfit and that she wouldn’t change. When she got to the one friend’s apartment she texted me and let me know she was there safely. I got some sparse texts while they changed into their costumes and had some pregame drinks. She sent me a few pictures and told me she would be safe and update me and that she loved me. The rest of the night ai received no texts or calls. (I didn’t bother her with multiple either.) I did see her posting on social media and she looked like she was having fun but I wasn’t getting any updates. She posted a video with her and what appeared to be a guy doing shots. I never got a text still. I texted her around 12 am telling her to be safe and have a goodnight. Around 11 this morning I got a text saying she was sorry and was drinking and forgot to update me. I still haven’t repsonded. AITA?

Educational_Panic551

AITA for trying to be a responsible boyfriend

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhlsk/aita_for_trying_to_be_a_responsible_boyfriend/

17jhlsk

My girlfriend yelled “I think I’m going crazy” out loud and I said yeah I think that too. For context her friends are visiting from out of town and the visit is not going to plan. While explaining her situation with her friends I mentioned that I wished I could see her this weekend. This started an argument and she started raising her voice. She said I feel like I’m going crazy and I said yeah I do too. She hung up the phone on me for that and gave me the silent treatment. I apologized about 8 hours later for hurting her feelings, but no normal means of communication will continue until this conversation apparently.

Insubordinaryman

AITA for answering the Am I crazy? Question

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhnok/aita_for_answering_the_am_i_crazy_question/

17jhnok

My daughter is 26 years old with a full time job and an apartment with her friends. Some months ago she asked me if she could move in with me and she would pay rent. She told me she is not able to save money because of living costs and so she wants to move back in with me to save some costs and buy a car since her last one was stolen. I told her yes at first because I have extra bedrooms but after thinking I changed my mind and told her no. I told her I am in a relationship and want to finally enjoy my home without having to worry for my children. My daughter refused to understand and asked why more, and I explained that in America, when you are a young adult you leave from your parents house. She said all her friends still live with their parents, that she is struggling to make it and that it’s not like in the past America. I told her decision is final, that is in their household, but I think she needs to become independent. Now, I called her earlier today to invite her to Thanksgiving dinner. She told me she does not want to be invited to any event ever again, and that I was a bad parent to her, and that I abandoned her when she was a teenager. I told her I was struggling at that time and she kept yelling at me about how she is where she is now is because I abandoned her. She said my other children don’t like me and that she has taken care of them and lived with her because they hate me. I told her to not talk to me that way and she told me to shut up and she ended the call! She is an adult now! She went to college, I am tired of dealing with all this. She has to work hard, and then she will understand what I went through to raise my children as a single parent. She will never understand how much I sacrificed to raise her and my other kids. Edit: I was told to add in that I have dealt with psychosis my daughters whole life, it was brought on after my oldest sons birth. I sent her and her siblings to stay with trusted people in my church because they were older and could deal. This is why she says I abandoned her but I didn’t choose to make her move

habeshawitt

AITA for refusing my 26 yr daughter to move in with me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhowf/aita_for_refusing_my_26_yr_daughter_to_move_in/

17jhowf

He is the first person I’ve been with. Everything was great until he made me really mad a couple of nights ago. I have a long list of what a want in a partner, and he met all of them. But he also really liked me. He was generally super sweet and respectful of me. When we started messing around, I told him I didn’t feel comfortable giving bjs. He said that was fine because he really loves me, and he’d be willing to give it up. He said he doesn’t want me to do anything I don’t want to do. But he would still eat me out, thank god. I told him I felt like a blowjob was being submissive, I didn’t like the thought of feeling dominated and he told me it doesn’t have to mean that at all, but that again, I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. But I ended up deciding I would be okay with blowjobs with a couple of rules. I don’t want to give one while he’s standing up, that makes me feel like I’m a sex toy or something. I also do not want my head pushed down during one. He said yes, of course, that is all totally fine. He said he would never push my head down during sex unless I made it 100% clear I wanted it anyway, so I didn’t need to worry. The first few times I tried to do it he said, “you don’t need to do that” and would kiss me instead but I told him I wanted to. And I do like it as it turns out. But basically a few days ago, he got drunk at a party while I was decently sober and we tried to have sex. I prefer for him to be on top, but he was way too out of for actual sex. I said I’d be down for oral instead and he told me to sit on his face, which I did. But after I gave him a bj and like I said he was out of it and rutted into my face during, I couldn’t believe it. He literally humped by face, I had to grab his hips. I left immediately because I was upset he just treated me like a sex toy. When I left he didn’t even follow me and when I want back to our room he was already fast asleep. I was really angry and told him what happened the next day, he didn’t even remember it. I said I was disgusted with him for treating me like that, and he (for his credit) did apologize a 100 times. He said he felt sick knowing I felt so bad about it, that he is truly sorry, and it wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t drunk. He promises he respects me, and he’ll prove it. I ignored him the past few days. I ended up getting several messages from him, apologizing and telling me he feels like a shitty person and he’ll do anything to make it up to me. He sent me flowers to my class, and bought me a leather bound edition of my favorite book. But I don’t know if I can forgive him that easily, I do think he needs to wallow more for awhile longer. But my friends think I’m being really dramatic about this, they said I needed to chill out before I loose a good relationship. They said their bf’s wouldn’t have even apologized, but how is it my fault they date shitty people? AITA? Edit: I don’t know why some of you are obsessed with the fact that he was drunk. Are you being serious? Some people are okay with sex while intoxicated. He is FINE WITH IT. Just like some people are okay with being woken up to sex even though they didn’t consent in the moment. If he had a problem with it, he would have said. But he doesn’t.

SillyAd4125

AITA for ignoring him after he crossed my boundary?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhsdt/aita_for_ignoring_him_after_he_crossed_my_boundary/

17jhsdt

I (22F) don’t have a lot of clothes, mainly because shopping exhausts me and makes me feel awful about myself. I am guilty of dressing like a middle schooler most of the time because I haven’t bought myself anything new. It’s been something I always say I will work on but never do. Well my MIL (51F) recently passed away and said she wanted me to have any of her old clothes that I wanted. I was a bit hesitant at first but after trying some things on I was surprised how well they fit and actually really liked how they looked on me. My husband (28M) is really happy that I now have some nicer clothes that I feel confident in. And he was glad I could have something of his mothers too. He even insisted I wore one of her old dresses to the funeral as a way to honor her. Here is the problem…my SIL (34F) is not happy. She said it was super inappropriate of me to wear the dress to the funeral. She also said it’s disgusting of me to torture my husband by wearing any of his dead mothers clothes and that there is something weird going on there if he is okay with it. I think he’s just genuinely glad to see me confident and also that his mom ended up liking me after all, since our relationship had a very rocky start. But maybe I’m wrong? So AITA for wearing my MIL’s clothes?

Excellent_Star3543

AITA for wearing my MIL’s clothes?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhtut/aita_for_wearing_my_mils_clothes/

17jhtut

I, (NB 16) had an online friend group I was pretty close with. We communicated through discord and got along really well. Unfortunately, they cut me off a few months ago when I slipped and made an apparently offensive joke to two of them, and none of them spoke to me since. I was really upset, because I really loved talking to them all and I didn't expect to get cut off so swiftly. I decided after a month that I really wanted to be their friend again, so I made a new account and joined the server we all met in with a new identity. I myself am Armenian, but I was worried that they'd find out it was me if I said that, so I pretended to be hispanic instead so they wouldn't suspect anything. At first, my plan was going fine. Nobody suspected I was the person they had cut off before, and I made sure to say all the right things so we could rebuild the bond we all had. I was so thrilled, and I was especially happy that I could restart our friendships with a clean slate. I even went out of my way to say mean things about myself under the disguise of being a different person so they wouldn't think I was suspicious. I thought it was all going well, but turns out I was wrong. One day during a casual conversation they all called me out, and they had apparently figured out I was lying for a while. They were angry with me not only for lying, but for pretending to be another race to do it. I panicked and left the server again, but now they all hate me even more and I'm worried I might've ruined all chances we had at being friends again. I didn't mean for things to go so far. Am I the asshole?

ThatGuyCaspy

AITA For hiding behind a fake identity to get access to my old friend group?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhwef/aita_for_hiding_behind_a_fake_identity_to_get/

17jhwef

So, I (13 F) about a week ago got into a fight with my friend (13 F). The fight started when I changed my Instagram pfp to a picture of me instead of a matching pfp we have. I told her about it because we both had it in our Bio as “matching pfp with @there username” she then went off on me saying I’ve been treating her different and leaving her out of secrets. she thinks I’m leaving her out of secrets because she told two different people who like and one of those people told everyone and his family found out. I only knew if she actually told one of the people the other was a rumor. I believe the rumor wasn’t true and still even told her a secret after that happened. Then she said I was talking about her crush loudly in the hallway with a friend that I can’t even remember the last time I talked to them in the hallway. Anyways I just stopped responding because I stopped didn’t care and two days later she was going around telling everyone she hates me and asking if they hate me too. That’s kinda a reach after a dumb fight. I went to a separate friends house that night and that friend was telling me to stand up to her so I did. She ended up telling me I ruined her friendship with her crush because I told people she liked him. I didn’t tell anyone. His dad passed away earlier this summer and she was upset that he will no longer vent to to her. Even though she told my friend all of his shit like some deep stuff. After some back and forth on the phone I got really upset and started to tear up because it was my whole friend group coming after me. I ended up telling her “I’m sorry he will no longer vent to you but that’s not my problem” she took that as I don’t care about his father passing that’s also what she and her minions who heard the conversation told everyone. I also had to leave her house crying at 10:00 because the girls house I was at was being two faced and talking bad about me on the phone while I was at her house. So they were all being bitches and talking shit about me. Then me and my friend were at a party for Halloween. And they were there. I was talking about something completely unrelated and one of her minions said “shut the fuck up nobody likes you” then they said how fucked it was for what I said and I tried to explain it but they just wouldn’t understand. Anyways then we were playing truth or dare and someone asked me and I said truth. The person who wasn’t even supposed to ask me a question said. “Is it true your a raging bitch” and I said “yes” because I’m funny ig? Then we were talking about something mthing from when we’re were younger and someone said something hing about me and said “now she’s grown up to be a fucking bitch nobody likes” So, was I the asshole for saying the fact someone won’t vent isn’t my problem?

Backup_1800

AITA for saying someone’s death isn’t my problem?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhyrr/aita_for_saying_someones_death_isnt_my_problem/

17jhyrr

I am very close to my grandmother and love her dearly. She is too old to fly alone now and lives in Europe. Due to health reasons she now needs to come to the US. Myself (grandson), and her sons, live in the US. Someone needs to go pick her up and bring her to the US. My dad somehow got the idea that I would go pick her up and do all the logistics, etc. and pay my own flight as well (not cheap, but I'm also better off than he or my uncle is). I feel like this is a "taking care of your aging parents" thing, and that he or my uncle should be first. If they absolutely cannot, of course I would go get her. But I feel a bit frustrated that I am forced to say no to my grandmother and make up some excuse, when it should be one of them first trying to go. Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable here? Should I hold my ground and make one of them go, or just do it for my grandmother?

miggyrozay

AITA for pushing my dad/uncle to pick up their mother?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jhzp2/aita_for_pushing_my_daduncle_to_pick_up_their/

17jhzp2

as the title says, i pace back and forth in my room at night. i get really anxious and restless and it can get hard to sleep so i usually end up pacing for hours until i get tired. it’s become a habit, and sometimes i don’t even realize i’m doing it and get lost in thought. my mom hates it, my room is upstairs and she sleeps downstairs so she hears my footsteps when she’s trying to sleep. she has to get up very early for work at around 5am every morning. she’s a healthcare worker and her job is very physically and mentally demanding and she usually comes home pretty tired. she yells at me for pacing the floor all the time but i can’t stop, i’ve tried. even during the day i’m pacing nonstop. i’ve tried journaling, reading, hot showers 15 mins from going to bed, asmr & meditation videos, and even taking melatonin supplements. nothing works. i want to fix this for the both of us but i don’t know how.

No_Resolution1609

AITA? i pace at night and it’s affecting my moms sleep

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ji083/aita_i_pace_at_night_and_its_affecting_my_moms/

17ji083

I am 25 years old and soon getting married to my fiance, who is 27. I was born in America but I am Japanese, as my parents conceived me in Japan but moved to America before they knew my mom was pregnant with me. I've always embraced my culture and it's a prominent thing in my life. My fiance has no issue with this however it's evident his mother does. She always has made a point to say something about my features regarding my background, like my eyes, or something about my culture and how different it is from hers. I've been trying to be nice to her and avoid her when it isn't necessary to be around her, but I haven't said anything about it. Now that me and my fiance are planning our wedding, she wants to be 100% involved. She wants to pay for at least half of it, deal with the venues and other things, despite me and my fiance's protests, she insists. Once she has made up her mind you can't do anything about it. Before telling people that we were getting married, I told my fiance I wanted the ceremony to be a traditional Japanese wedding and he seemed honored by that and immediately began to get to know the wedding traditions. When we told his mom that we wanted it to be a traditional Japanese wedding, she looked shocked. She says that we live in America and we should only have American weddings here, not ones that interfere with whats right and whats wrong and effect the country ( her exact words ) Me and my fiance were shocked, and both went off on her. While he was calling her rude and disgusting, I called her a racist b\*tch, and she began crying and telling me that I was being so unkind after everything she's done. Even though my fiance has reassured me multiple times that I've done the right thing, I still feel upset with myself for saying what I did, as I rarely curse and am not usually that rude. FIL has begun telling my fiance that until I apologize for my actions that they will not contribute to the wedding or will be coming. AITA??? ​

Throwawayaccc1991

AITA for calling my soon to be MIL a racist b*tch??

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ji2wa/aita_for_calling_my_soon_to_be_mil_a_racist_btch/

17ji2wa

My (21M) gf (20F) of one year is coming with my family on a vacation in a few months and we are planning flights at the moment. My ticket is first class because my family went to overseas without me over summer while I was doing an internship so my ticket for that trip is now available as a first class ticket for any domestic flight. I’ve flown economy my whole life and I was looking forward to getting some extra legroom and comfort as I am 6’4” with back issues. Now that my family invited my gf to come with us, she seemed a little sad at the fact that I would not be sitting next to her. My family is covering all of her expenses, but not a first class ticket, haha. So what do y’all think AITA? We just wanted to get y’all’s thoughts. Edit: My girlfriend is the one who added the “haha”in the last paragraph to try and make it sound nicer. Another Edit: The first class ticket credit only lasts for a few more months so this would be the only chance to use it and the flight is from Florida to Utah.

Ecstatic-Syrup5544

AITA for flying first class while my girlfriend has to fly coach?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ji338/aita_for_flying_first_class_while_my_girlfriend/

17ji338

My Mom and I live in an apartment and each floor has 4 apartments. The neighbor that lives across from us has these two big dogs that i’ve noticed piss everywhere… We leave garbage in front of our apartments for the trash people to come pick up M-F so I was thinking maybe her trash was leaking but It was consistently yellow and the stain on the floor outside would get bigger and bigger to the point where you would be stepping on it to get into our apartment. We’ve also had constant interactions where the neighbors dog wasn’t on a leash and it would run towards my mom and I and start jumping and barking. My mom doesn’t like dogs but I’m pretty chill about it and I was just starting to get used to walking around the large stains until today. I was bringing groceries in and i dropped them on our doormat to unlock the door and i looked over and saw a trail of piss leading up the stairs to our door and some of it had even gotten on our doormat. I was livid because why would i want my groceries touching dog piss and I know it was my neighbor because she’s the only one with a dog on our floor and the piss wasn’t leading up to the next floor. My mom took a video and we’re showing it to the leasing office tomorrow. I understand dogs can’t really control where they piss and what they do in general but as a dog owner I feel you should know how to control your dog and where they pee at. AITA?

hearts4marvel

AITA for reporting my neighbor to the leasing office

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ji3wn/aita_for_reporting_my_neighbor_to_the_leasing/

17ji3wn

My husband (43m) and I (40f) have been together for 19 years and we have 3 kids. He's an excellent provider (we both work), does housework, and helps with the kids. I love him very much. At the end of each day his way of decompressing is to have a few drinks and smoke a little weed. I don't do those things, so I'm usually watching TV and/or getting ready for bed. ​ His drinking, in particular, concerns me, but I don't often say anything about it since it doesn't seem to majorly interfere with his daily life, and he's not interested in cutting back. When I do bring it up, he says I am not letting him live his life. ​ With a hectic life, we don't get a lot of quality time together. But now that the kids are older, we can occasionally go out for a couple hours maybe once or twice a month. Each time we have done so, over the past six-ish months, he's had a couple drinks and smokes before, during and after the date. Mind you, he's not getting sloppy drunk, but def buzzed/high. I notice a change in his behavior, and it is difficult for me to know if we are having sincere conversations since he's under the influence. I'm obviously doing all the driving. ​ Last night we went out and he had already been drinking, and he smoked the moment we got to our destination. I asked him not to blow it in my face, which he had done without realizing. It led to a conversation about his drinking/smoking and how it affects me, as well as why he chooses to do it each day. Basically, I mentioned his change in behavior, and he said that this is just a part of him and he wants me to accept it. ​ I decide to ask him to stay sober on our dates. I haven't spent much sober one-on-one time with him, and I was hoping we could try it. He got pretty defensive and said he wished I loved all the parts of him, regardless of what he was doing. He likened his drinking and smoking to my antidepressants. I feel like that was not something he would have said had he been sober. ​ Using a technique recommended by our couples therapist, I calmly repeated myself a number of times, instead of getting off topic, and asked him to answer the yes or no question. ​ He eventually said he would be sober for our dates, but it didn't seem genuine. He to talk about how unfair I was being and at one point said "well, maybe this just won't work out" and refuses to clarify what he meant by that. Only saying "well, we're at an impasse." He accused me of being an asshole for asking him to stay sober on dates, and said I was basically saying I don't love him when he's under the influence. ​ I now feel worse than if I hadn't said anything. I feel like alcohol and weed are the priority here. But I'm open to hearing how I maybe missed something here. Should I not ask for sober dates? Should I accept his drinking and smoking as just another part of him? AITA?

NoxiousRump

AITA for asking my hubby to stay sober on our dates?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ji4uq/aita_for_asking_my_hubby_to_stay_sober_on_our/

17ji4uq

My husband (31M) and I (26F) have been married for 3 years. Up until now he has always gone on lots of long weekend trips with his friends. I went on about 75% of those trips with them and it was great and we all got along, but things are different now. We just bought a house and property in June and have a lot of work left to make it our own. I am also pregnant and just found out we are expecting twins. We had a discussion about what life would be like over the next couple years and he made it very clear that he will still be going on trips with his friends. I told him that when I get closer to delivery and after the babies are born I will need more help and he can’t just leave me at home alone. I also voiced my concern of feeling left out if he gets to go do something we both enjoy but i have to stay home. He responded by saying I’m being manipulative and trying to pull him away from his friends. I’m having a hard time that it seems I’m the only one who has to make sacrifices. AITA for wanting my husband to stay home from his boys trips while I’m pregnant and while our twins are young?

Crazy-Avocado5419

AITA for not wanting my husband to go on trips with his friends right now?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ji6h7/aita_for_not_wanting_my_husband_to_go_on_trips/

17ji6h7

I'd like to start off by saying that this has happened 3 times now, and I'll try to keep the stories short. I'd also like to start off by saying that i do know that it's wrong to look through his phone, but please hear me out. the first time this happened, my (17f) boyfriend (16m) was acting really weird and close with this girl who had previously said really horrible things about me and spread rumors, and he told me that he wanted nothing to do with her anymore because of that. he was acting secretive, which he never is with me, so i looked while he was asleep (he wasn't going to be honest either way, i brought it up multiple times and he either had guilt-rage or ignored me) and i found various messages dating back to months prior talking bad about me, saying how im annoying and unreasonable, amongst other slightly worse things. when i confronted him, suddenly i was a horrible person for not trusting him and breaking his trust by looking at his messages and he had no regards to how i felt whatsoever. the second time, the beginning was similar, but with a "new friend" that he had just met not too long ago. whenever i spoke about them because he was talking to them way more than he was talking to me at that point, he got mad at me and denied even liking them as a friend. upon yet another inspection, i found him flirting with that person, the exact same way he flirts with me, including images and messages saying that he had a crush on them and things such as wanting to fall asleep with them when that has always been our special thing in our relationship. i was dumbfounded, betrayed, and utterly heartbroken. of course, once again, when i brought it up to him he was pissed off at me for "betraying his trust once again". now, here's the most recent one. once again he was acting weird and secretive, and i was not having it this time. this is the third time it happened so obviously i was fed up. this time, it was with a girl that moved and that he hadnt talked to in months, when suddenly out of the blue theyre texting every day and he would physically hide his phone from me when on it, which i found weird because he loves showing me things. when i looked at those messages, i found literal dozens talking about how he hates me, he cant wait to get away from me, he misses her, she should have asked him out at homecoming (which was supposed to be our special night but he ruined because of her), nobody likes me, nobody wants me, im ugly, and the only good thing in our relationship is sex. i angrily confronted him about it and, like usual, he was enraged that i looked at his messages and started yelling about how he can never trust me and how im a horrible person, and later told me that all of his and her exchanges about me were okay to say because i "wasnt supposed to see it." so, AITA for looking through his phone and finding those? I want a glance other than mine, his, and our friends, whom we've both asked for input on the situation.

puppypawzz_

AITA for looking through my boyfriend's phone and seeing things i wasnt supposed to?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ji930/aita_for_looking_through_my_boyfriends_phone_and/

17ji930

my husband and I are late 30s. neither of us have a strong family of origin. recently, a family member of mine passed, so my extended family has been soooorta trying to spend more time together. we are getting together in a few weeks with my extended family, and it happens to be the anniversary of a major medical procedure my husband had. he was very close to losing his life, but instead learned to rewalk, despite many obstacles. it's still a huge struggle for my current, nuclear family (we have kids). I got my husband a small pinata, a small doll that has the same disability he now has, and a Dr Seuss book that is fitting for his disability. I reached out and asked the host if we could bring that, and celebrate with this new found family- there will be lots of kids, so I figured we could share the pinata. I was told that "no bad blood, but that's not our thing and we don't want that in our home". aita for asking?? I certainly feel like one... I'm not even sure, they are heavily Catholic, and we are happily agnostic but that's kinda the only thing I can think contextually that might be important??? idk man I feel bad for asking and haven't heard anything back after responding and apologizing for asking.

ohwowshesaidthat

AITA for asking to bring a pinata and gift to a family get together?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jic0g/aita_for_asking_to_bring_a_pinata_and_gift_to_a/

17jic0g

Went to a Halloween party and brought like 6 juices and two big bottles of alcohol. They of course had more bottles besides mine. At the end of the party. I packed up my juices and my last bottle of alcohol and took it back home with me. Does the host get free alcohol and juices on me, or am I in the right to pack whatever is leftover?

texboi4n6

AITA for taking my drinks back from a Halloween party.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jic42/aita_for_taking_my_drinks_back_from_a_halloween/

17jic42

My boyfriend (M23) and I (F22) have been together for 3 years. We both feel we have a special connection but understand were both young. I had been in various relationships and have a better understanding of what I want in a relationship but my bf has only seriously dated one other woman besides me. He might have bipolar disorder and as a daughter of a mother with BPD I am very understanding and patient- though it’s still difficult and he currently cannot afford to see a therapist or get treatment but will once his insurance is activated. In the beginning of our relationship he didn’t think it was very serious and had been entertaining other women with light flirting and opening sexual snapchats from a previous fling. This hurt me greatly and I lost all trust for him as I had been cheated on by multiple men. He didn’t consider this cheating and did a lot to repair our relationship. Fast forward to recently and I saw that 2 years into our relationship he had reached out to a swinger couple on a /r4r thread looking for a man in our area. I was obviously hurt and told him he’s a cheater. He said he never got to do anything and did this to hurt me cause at the time he wasn’t working and would get a job and I was paying all the bills— I admittedly would come home and make nasty comments of how upset I was he wasn’t working or applying; he said he felt really low about himself because of me and he wanted to hurt me but was never going to go through with the hookup and just did this cause he knew I looked through his phone often (which I did because I do have trust issues) I never found this though until now and I am treating our relationship as if he did cheat. I want things to work but now I am often very cold with him and when he makes certain comments I go off on him and will often tell him how I don’t trust him going out with friends that I don’t know or pick fights when he does things that make me suspicious. He says I’m wrong to tell him I’m willing to work things out if he’s open with his social and phone and that it happened a year ago and I shouldn’t throw it in his face and constantly ask him to prove himself. AITA?

notchobusinessbitch

AITA for picking fights with my boyfriend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jils6/aita_for_picking_fights_with_my_boyfriend/

17jils6

Every night my mom wants me to hug her but I don’t want to. I’m the type of person who likes to stay alone and hardly ever hug people. My mom is usually the same way except with me and my brother. She even has a shirt that says not a hugger. Is it wrong of me to say that I don’t want to hug her and try to refuse them?

JustaCrazyBandKid

AITA for not wanting to hug my mom?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jimdw/aita_for_not_wanting_to_hug_my_mom/

17jimdw

Me (29M) and my ExGF (26F) have a 7 year old together that we have been coparenting from our respective states the past five-ish years. When we had our child we only dated briefly and I moved to my current state with in one year of being born. I’m still a very active father and we have a relatively smooth understanding of our situation now. About five months back me and my Ex happened to hook up during a weekend I spent while gathering our child for my time. Two months later, she informed me that she is pregnant. I wasn’t necessarily disappointed about this but of course I wasn’t ecstatic either. I did let her know that I would want a DNA test as she said it was mine, but due to how much distance there is, I don’t know if I can fully trust it and I’m sure she has “friends” as we don’t hook up regularly at all. Well three days ago, we received the results from the prenatal DNA test, and the child is determined to be mine. I figured we would adjust our custody with the new baby once it comes but today she dropped a bomb on me. She informed me that she wanted to give up custodial rights to the new baby and I raise it as my own while we continue to have a coparenting relationship for our first child. I told her this was absolutely ridiculous because I would still have to make arrangements for our first child while leaving our new child out which can cause a lot of challenges and heartbreak in their future. She then informed me that if I didn’t want to accept this arrangement she would actually put the baby up for adoption as she did not want to be a full-time mother again. I am hurt by this because I don’t see a way out of it. If she decides to give up her rights I am absolutely still going to take on my child but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’ll have to give up the rights to her first child. To give her credit she is an amazing mother and I know she was not planning to have a child at this time but I feel like there’s so many complications that can come with this dynamic. I told her if she gives up her rights to the new baby I will fight her in court to get full custody of our first child as well to lessen the complication. She informed me that she would fight back and I can either except or do what I need in court . Again to give her credit. She’s an amazing mother to our first child. I’m just really at a loss of what I could or should even do here. Neither of us planned for this child and I’ve never wanted to force parenthood on anyone but I feel like this is such a tough situation. Give up neither or Both ! But that would hurt my oldest too. So AITA? is She the AH? Advise ?

WashItAndGo

AITA for Telling my Child’s mother she can’t give up rights to ONLY one kid.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jinfl/aita_for_telling_my_childs_mother_she_cant_give/

17jinfl

Hii this is my first post please excuse me for any grammar errors!! So i know this sounds silly and really minor but please bare with me I (female) and my boyfriend both teens, were chatting and he told me to post on my spam account saying it’s been a year since I’ve posted. Which it has not its only been since September of this year. Obviously i tell him it hasn’t and we go back and fourth about it. So for context before this happened me and my mom got in a mini disputes throughout this whole day and it got me frustrated and annoyed. So i don’t know if i let my emotions get the better of me and I accidentally took them out on my boyfriend IDK. Okay back to the story so i get annoyed really quick saying its “its my spam i can post whenever i want” and “mind your damn business” or “like don’t tell me what to do, easy” and he’s like saying “its been a year bozo,” “I should take suggestions” or “its a dead spam like its literally been a year” So after we continue going back and fourth i tell him to leave it alone and him saying all this makes me not want to post. So in response he says you know im kidding right? Like he fooling around and teasing me which is perfectly fine, cause we do that with each other mainly him doing the teasing lol. And i was like yeah i know, but either way it still makes me not wanna do it. So he says “mb G, was bored so i didn’t know what to talk about, imma do work now, ttyl” and i say “good. Bye.” For like dramatic effect cause although i may be annoyed i didn’t wanna sound to serious i guess. So we say our good byes and whatever. And im just thinking about and I just can’t help but feel frustrated, annoyed, so I ended up shedding a few tears which is normal when i get frustrated sometimes lollll. I just feeling wrong for like being annoyed and showing a little attitude. Like is it really okay for me to be annoyed even when i know he’s just playing around or whatever? PLEASE HELP IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT AN ILL GO CRAZY IF I DONT HEAR A SECOND OPINION. ASAP

Disastrous-Pea9257

AITA for getting annoyed at my boyfriend for telling me to post on my (not)dead spam and going back and fourth

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jiv03/aita_for_getting_annoyed_at_my_boyfriend_for/

17jiv03

Backstory, I (15 F) moved in with my sister after my parents got divorced. After a few months my sister (20 F) and her husband got a puppy and I went with them to pick it up. The people they got it from had a few more puppies and asked if we wanted more. I wanted one so they let me get it, we brought them home and everything was going well after about 2 months of having the puppies my mom told me I had to move back in with her. I couldn’t say no because she’s my mom. I talked with my sister and her husband about what I could do with my dog and they said they would keep it for me as long as I went there on the weekends to take care of him. We all agreed and went on. Then came the day I moved out. I moved in with my mom and thought everything was fine. Fast forward to 2 days ago. My sister came to pick me up and on our way back to her house and she told me that she got rid of my dog. I was obviously mad/upset and she got pissed off because I was mad and not talking to anyone. She then said “I don’t get why you pissed it’s fine” that just mad me more mad. She was then pissed off for the rest of the night and she’s been acting weird. The more I think about it I just think that I overreacted. Am I the ahole?

Usual-Afternoon3536

AITA for getting mad about my sister getting rid of my dog

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jiwii/aita_for_getting_mad_about_my_sister_getting_rid/

17jiwii

(I'm on mobile so sorry if this is layedout weird.) So for context I (36m) am married to my beautiful wife, Lottie (28f), we've been together for 8 years married for 3. And then there's my brother, Nate(25m) and my parents(Both 55). Well recently was Nate's wedding (it was Friday). I was supposed to be a groomsmen but I didn't go and stayed at home with my wife. Here's why. During wedding planning, my precious Lottie found out she was pregnant with our first baby! Of course we were over the moon but kept it on the downlow to not take attention from Nate and his Wife. Well A few weeks ago our precious little girl was born, and though she's a little doll, we suspect she has colic. She's been crying nonstop. I was still going to go to the wedding but when the day came Lottie was very stressed and couldn't get our little girl to sleep or do anything really, she wouldn't sleep, eat, or stop crying until her little face was red. Lottie was exhausted, you could tell. So I decided to stay and try to take care of my daughter while I tried to let Lottie sleep. I called Nate to let him know that I just couldn't make it and he flipped out at me, yelling, screaming, calling me every name under the sun, therefore I hung up. Well a few minutes after that my parents were blowing up my phone calling me an ass for bailing. When I tried explaining why, my mother told me "Who cares *my name*?! It's the wife's job to take care of the kids not the men!" (Which is not true at all.) After I still wouldn't budge my parents told my family leading to some family members to blow up my phone some more. When Lottie found out she was apologizing over and over but I don't think my Lottie should feel bad for needing a break. So reddit AITA? (I blocked the family members who were scolding me, and went LC with my brother and parents until things die down.)

Ok-Willingn3ss

AITA for choosing my Wife over my Brother's wedding?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jizsh/aita_for_choosing_my_wife_over_my_brothers_wedding/

17jizsh

We are planning a trip out of state in a couple of months for a friend's wedding. In trying to find a place to stay it seems Airbnb's are the best option. There are 5 of us. 2 couples and myself. My assumption was that we would split the bill 5 ways as there are 5 people. Their assumption was that we would split the bill 3 ways as there are three bedrooms. As an aside. I'm already going to have to drive myself 8 hours in a rental while they drive together in one of their own vehicles and I have other expenses related to the wedding as well. Am I the asshole for wanting to split it evenly per person?

Electrivire

AITA for wanting to split the bill evenly with a group of friends renting an Airbnb?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jj1op/aita_for_wanting_to_split_the_bill_evenly_with_a/

17jj1op

My bf and I have been together for 2 years and this our second thanksgiving we are spending together. However we have been having a major disagreement on how we are going to spend it. I recently lost two family members this year ( my gma on moms side and my dad) so I am very set on making sure to see my family, given we are all grieving and would like to be together, they typically have thanksgiving later, around 4-8 I suggested that we could go see my bf family ( mom and two siblings) earlier in the day considering it is an hour drive there and back and would be easier since my family lives close to each other. He however only wants to see his family at night/evening and is saying it’s not his problem that my family and I are grieving and dealing with these losses and that I’m selfish for making it about them and not considering his family. He does not want to spend thanksgiving apart from each other. I don’t either, I would like to spend it with him but this is just getting too stressful. I honestly don’t understand why he is being this way. My dads side of the family always have dinner at night. My moms side is flexible, but if we see his family at night then I will miss the chance to see mine. He won’t spend it apart from me, so I guess he will just be miserable.

Ok_Geologist3912

AITA for insisting on seeing my family for thanksgiving evening this year instead of my boyfriends family

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jj7mi/aita_for_insisting_on_seeing_my_family_for/

17jj7mi

Just quick background: 2 years ago, my(21M) ex who I’ll call Katie(21F) broke up with me to get with another guy who I’ll call John(21M). As far as I’m concerned it was cheating since she admitted she was in love with him while we were together. Also worth noting that the John was a cocky asshole about it (not that I cared since her doing what she did made it really easy to not care about her. Edit: forgot to mention that a Katie knew that I considered what she did cheating and that she should’ve told me the second she felt something for John so we could break up (she loved him for probably like a month if my timeline is right) I have extremely dense hair (like 2-3x the average person) and it’s down to my shoulders. Katie texted me the other day (I never remembered to block her since we didn’t talk much) telling me that John had cancer and was doing chemo so he’s bald now. She asked me if I’d donate my hair and I started laughing and told her I wasn’t going to look like a skinhead for 1.5 years while I grow it out so that the guy she emotionally cheated with can feel better about looking like a skinhead. She started whining about how I’m a terrible person, but as I said, I’m not about to make myself ugly for them. Tl;dr: girlfriend cheated and her bf has cancer but I won’t help

Careful_Crab_8333

AITA for laughing when my ex girlfriend asked me to donate hair for her boyfriend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjbt1/aita_for_laughing_when_my_ex_girlfriend_asked_me/

17jjbt1

So I 15f turned 15 in January, me and my friends were talking about this earlier. My mom and dad had asked me what I wanted for dinner for my birthday dinner, I said a Caesar salad. I had been craving one and wanted that for dinner. They say okay. Few days go by and it’s my birthday. I had regents that day so it was just me in the house until like 6 pm. So from the hours of 12:07 p.m to like 6 pm it was just me in the house, so I was alone pretty much all day. Mom and dad gets home and so do my sisters, I found out for dinner we were having mac and cheese and steak with broccoli. It was a good dinner, I practically inhaled my food. So one of my friends was like “what was the point of asking what you wanted to not make it?”. I agreed with them but another friend said that it wasn’t that serious. Basically how the conversation went down all those months ago was Mom: did you like the food? Me: yeah it was really good. Mom: I know you wanted salad but who wants to sit there and eat a Caesar salad for their birthday? Me: I did. We laughed and my mom was like “we’re not eating no damn Caesar salad as a birthday dinner.” My uncles and aunt agreed with my mom and dad saying how it wasn’t a birthday dinner and stuff like that when I saw them a few days later. The friend that disagreed with me about the salad was kind of just “it’s not that serious, there’s more pressing matters in the world. People are dying, etc, etc.” I know there’s more pressing matters and all but my whole thought process that day was “okay, I took the regents. Spent almost my whole birthday alone, and now I get to eat my Caesar salad.” There was no salad, and an ice cream cake that I didn’t really want. I talked with that friend about it some more and then I just kinda felt bad for being so upset over some salad. AITA for just having wanted to eat some salad for my birthday?

mustache_fratguy

AITA for just having wanted to eat a salad for my birthday?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjcvg/aita_for_just_having_wanted_to_eat_a_salad_for_my/

17jjcvg

Alright, I'm summing it up quick because I'm exhausted. Basically my close friends new gf is feeling insecure and upset because our friend group consists of 3 guys and her and I being the only girls. 2/3 guys I've known for 3+ years already, and trust them. Hell, one even stayed the night with me and didn't try a single thing (it was very important, bf had a sleep study and I would've been alone with a newborn for 24 hrs) Okay, onto it. I (my bf rather,) just recently bought this new dress and I have never felt so beautiful and confident in my life since being a mom. Think a bit revealing cheetah print, cinched at the waist, with a side tie, and a whole extra layer on pure black underneath, so if I wanted to just tie the dress to the side, I would have a cheetah shirt, and a black sleek skirt (anyone wondering, it's just past the knees) I pair this with my 3 inch booties and bring my cane when needed. Onto AITA, my friends girlfriend, I'll call her Kay, is feeling insecure because I'm *bigger* than her if you get my drift. My boyfriend is the entire reason I dress this way, and feel confident enough to do so, he encourages it, and loves seeing me in these beautiful clothes. For perspective, I am an F cup now, and she is probably a high C or small D, guesstimate. I wear this dress every single time me and the whole friend group hangs out no matter what the occasion is because I feel so confident and happier when I'm in it. So, AITA For wearing the same thing every time we hang out?? Should I cover up (even though it's near impossible sometimes?) I already pair it with a cardigan, and it has mid length sleeves. Yes, I do wash it. https://www.lulus.com/products/enthusiasm-brown-leopard-print-long-sleeve-maxi-dress/738992.html This was the closest thing I could find to it, except it's not open, has a second layer, and is a few inches past the knees

Chickpeapee

AITA For Wearing The Same Thing??

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjdai/aita_for_wearing_the_same_thing/

17jjdai

Long, sad story short: dude from tinder begged me to come over at 7AM, he walked and got me from my place, we had sex within 5 minutes of me stepping foot in his room, and then immediately after he said he wanted to go get donuts. I didn’t want to go because he told me I could come over to “cuddle and sleep” (which i knew i and was prepared for to be a lie.) He makes me get up to go get donuts, walks me to the nearest exit to (the 3rd level parking garage), opens the door for me (only time he did that), i say “thank you”, he says “yea no problem,” and let’s the door shut and lock behind me, and he walked away and left. Essentially, he unnecessarily tricked me into leaving, and left me to find my way out the garage, knowing that i didn’t know my way around because i’m just visiting his city. am i in the wrong for finding his mom’s phone number, and texted telling her what he did? Yes i verified it was her, i called first and asked. I don’t feel like the asshole, it made me feel better, but was it too much? Let me clarify: I’m not SAD over him or him using me as a booty call, i’m MAD he unnecessarily lied, and tricked me into leaving instead of just telling/asking me to go. or even just making an excuse for me to go. I don’t do well with disrespect.

v4mp4ngel4

AITA for texting his mom?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjf8f/aita_for_texting_his_mom/

17jjf8f

So I (21 ftm) am apart of a fandom for a semi popular cartoon. I’m writing a fic and get a lot of comments. One of these commenters and I started talking and we even exchanged discords. I learned that he was also ftm and was 15 yrs old. I tried to ghost him but he kept texting. We started getting closer and I was able to help him with a lot of his personal problems and mental health. I reassured him it does get better and he said he has started to believe it. He said I’m the only adult that talks to him like a person and validates his feelings. He even started seeing me as an older brother and I also started viewing him as a younger brother. I see a lot of myself in him and I want to help him (since from what he’s told me he has a bad home life). I think it is natural to have friendships outside your age group since the older one can give advice to the younger one (and people are Socail animals and used to raise all ages together). He has a brother my age so it’s not that werid? I also had a similar relationship with an older fan when I was younger. I was talking to my friend about it and she said that it was wrong because they’re still a minor. I just don’t know what to think. As I said, I view the kid as a younger brother and I want to help him, but at the same time I don’t want to accidentally hurt him. I think I have become one of his only forms of support. I think this is important that I am aro/ace and never once did our conversations cross a line.

Asexualp0rnStar

AITA for talking to an underaged fellow fan?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjhj6/aita_for_talking_to_an_underaged_fellow_fan/

17jjhj6

me (21f) and my roommate (22f), who i’ll call alex, have been living together for 5 months. we didn’t know each other prior to moving in but have become pretty good friends since. i wouldn’t say we’re best friends, but close. last weekend, i invited her to a party w me and my group of girl friends. she’s hung out with all of us before and is friends with them too. but she typically will only hang out with them if i invite her. we were all drunk and talking in the bathroom about our costumes for halloweekend (this weekend) and one of my friends ended up telling alex that she should come partying with us. i didn’t invite her myself because, while her and i are good friends/roommates, i like to have my time away with my own friends. i’ve expressed this to my girl friends too, but she was drunk and not thinking about it. i also didn’t wanna “dis-invite” her because i would’ve felt bad doing that. this weekend comes. me and some of my guy friends that are 21 decided to go clubbing about an hour away instead, with our friend who just turned 21 on saturday (yesterday). i texted alex in the morning and told her that i was going to do that instead, but she could text my girl friends individually and go out with them if she still wanted to. she didn’t reply to that original text at all. she ended up going partying with her own friends, but we haven’t spoken at all since. i did feel i might be TA since i changed plans on her, maybe ditched her. but i wasn’t the one who invited her originally and these are my own friends, i feel like i should be able to do what i want and change my going out plans as i want to. AITA in this situation?

locustempo

AITA for changing plans on my roommate last minute?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjl2q/aita_for_changing_plans_on_my_roommate_last_minute/

17jjl2q

I f(17) ended a friendship with someone (let’s call her Amy) due to a suspicion that she was being racist. I have zero tolerance for hatred in any capacity so I decided to stop being her friend. My best friend asked Amy what they were doing in class and she said that Martin Luther King Jr had “finally went to jail.” And that they were watching a movie about Martin Luther King Jr in class. I was immediately taken aback, and I was like “What do you mean “Finally”?” And she had stated that what she meant was “that he finally got to write his speech in jail” I was sensing weird undertones and didn’t fully believe what she was saying. I thought about what she had said, and I immediately thought of ending the friendship. I asked her if we were just going to pretend that she didn’t say anything. I began telling her that me and my best friend talked and that we didn’t like what she said. She began saying that she didn’t know what she was saying, that it was to early and her brain wasn’t working, that she meant that since he was going to jail she could finally be done taking notes since the movie was almost over, and that she doesn’t talk about these things in the morning. I tell her that she has to be more sensitive when talking about racism, that she needs to think before she says anything. I told her that I didn’t want to be her friend and that I would like her to leave. She began crying and said that she didn’t like when people ended friendships and I said “no one does” and she left. I went through my day and eventually I made a joke to someone saying that I made a girl cry and explained what happened. Someone overheard and said “Amy?” I was curious how they knew about this. They informed me that I was being mean and that I was in the wrong. Someone else who is friends with Amy said that they would never forgive me. I am notorious around my school for being the shy girl, the push over that let’s people walk all over her. I have had friendships that I should have ended sooner but out of fear of confrontation I didn’t. I got sick of this so I cut it off right there. I live in a small predominantly white town, where hatred is everywhere. I hear slurs all of the time and I am sick of this. So at the sign of any bigotry I will cut someone off immediately. I have been treated poorly my whole life by many different people, so I do not want anyone to be treated badly in anyway whatsoever. I have terrible communication skills and I did not explain myself correctly so it made people think that I was ending the friendship because of a grammar mistake. I want to acknowledge my privilege, what I suspect her off is not targeted towards me because I am white. She is not being hateful to me but, I was not going to let the be hateful to anyone else. Am I the asshole?

Strawberry_Earrings

AITA for being upset for someone saying MLK “finally went to jail”?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjm10/aita_for_being_upset_for_someone_saying_mlk/

17jjm10

Am I the asshole? Me and my online friend were talking and I let her meet my irl friend. We were at one point jokingly fighting over my irl friend about whose “wifey” she is. But then my online friend takes it far by saying she f my crush which we are going to call blue. Blue is my best friend and doesn’t appreciate people talking about him like that. So that violates his boundaries plus girl code. So I am not texting her anymore. Am I the a*hole?

No_Garden4564

WIBTA/Am I the asshole here?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjm4f/wibtaam_i_the_asshole_here/

17jjm4f

I (21F) and my bestfriend (21F) had been friends since we were children. We live in the same neighborhood not until a few years later that they had to move houses 2 rides away. Her family had also been welcoming to me and takes care of me a lot whenever I stay with them at their new house, treating me with utmost generosity. About a few months ago, she's been saying that she wants to move out, and a few months after that, the night before and after she did, she also contacted me. I won't be disclosing much details but what I can say is she's been getting verbally ab*sed and turning nanny like rather than a family member. With the screenshots that she showed me, I'd do the same. All I can say is there's always a bad side to every family, but hers is...yeah. Her aunt who is her primary caretaker tried to contact me few months back too, attempting to know anything about her. But I did not reply. With that, I also decided to cut contact with her family too to take a stand for my friend and show my support to her. But both of our bestfriends had contrasting insights. One friend says to still be courteous since they took care of us at one point. Another friend is taking a stand because her family is not our friend but her. Cutting contact with her family is making me have these thoughts that I am an ingrate, but I want to take a stand for my friend. Am I the asshole?

starse

AITA for siding with my bestfriend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjmu1/aita_for_siding_with_my_bestfriend/

17jjmu1

Hi I (16) am curious if I'm the ahole for how I feel. I moved out/ was kicked out of my mother 's house slightly over a year ago now for backstory. My mother was narcissistic and awful to me most of my life. She was my adoptive mother and biologically my great aunt. I have now moved in with her child, my older sister(31f) who will I will call Ann and Ann's husband(31m), the grounds of my moving out are confusing but to put it simply my mother who I will call Sandy basically told me that she had never loved me and throughout my entire life I knew it but basically went off on the for insinuating that she had been a liar. Something I had never said and not actually really insinuated but she took a confusing conversation and turned it against me. My sister Ann has a daughter (3f) which we will not keep away from Sandy. However, until very recently Sandy has not reached out to us at all. I have not talked to Sandy in over a year. But randomly she texted Ann and asked to come over to drop something off for Ann's daughter Ann has already told me that I am welcome to stay in my room and ignore her and Ann's. Husband agrees. I told a family member however and they told me I was an ahole for not even trying to make amends with the woman. So AITAH? For reference some of the basic reasons of why Sandy kicked me out/ I moved out were: I was an adopted child and treated that way, I am non-gender conforming and she is homophobic, I am pansexual and again she's homophobic, I would also like to say that after this downfall very few of my family members have talked to me and I recently found out why S has been saying that I had been awful telling everyone about my sexuality, as well as many lies that she made up about how awful the child I was.

Unlucky-Put-7679

AITAH for Rufusing to hear out my mother

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjo7h/aitah_for_rufusing_to_hear_out_my_mother/

17jjo7h

I want to preface this by saying that there is a long running and recurring clash(almost 8 years) between me and my parents on the claim that I am selfish and have a “hoarder” personality surrounding food. This morning at breakfast, I (17F), pulled my freshly baked bread—that I woke up at 7am on a Sunday to make—out of the oven. Usually, when I make bread I eat the badly sliced pieces that won’t freeze well and freeze the good ones immediately so they stay fresh. After 3 hours of work I was pretty excited to eat the bread. I’ve just finished slicing the bread and I have the good slices in a pile and the bad slices in another pile. My parents are both eating at the kitchen counter and my dad asks for a slice of bread. I’m like sure and say “take it from this pile” pointing to the bad pile. My dad is visibly confused and my mom gives me a look so I explain that we have to eat the bad slices and then we can all eat the good slices. My mom asks me to give him a good slice and I pretty much reiterate that we have to get rid of the bad slices since they won’t freeze well and everything’s gotta be in the freezer in 2 hours and I don’t want to waste bread. My dad then refuses to eat the bread (visibly upset and proclaiming I never want to make anything for anyone) and my mom has an angry look on her face and tells me “we will talk later”. I’m very lost on what the issue at this point. “Later” arrives and my mom pretty much yells at me about how it’s disrespectful to expect an adult to eat the bad slices of bread and that I am expected to only serve “proper” food to an adult. I explained again that I am just trying to be realistic and not waste the food that I took time to make. She became more upset after this and told me what I did was rude and wrong; she then said that I cannot force “bad” food on another person. I then explained that I am not forcing anything on anyone and if he does not want to eat poorly sliced bread then he doesn’t have to eat the bread at all. She then told me that I am being selfish and that I am no longer allowed to cook in the kitchen. I’ve already dismissed this entire “conflict”, if you will, as a cultural thing but I’m genuinely confused what I even did. AITA??? EDIT: To clarify for anyone asking, a “bad” slice of bread is one that ended up being too thin or misshapen to justify freezing because it would probably crumble in the freezer.

Secure-Programmer-50

AITA for not giving my dad a nice slice of bread

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjpln/aita_for_not_giving_my_dad_a_nice_slice_of_bread/

17jjpln

I know the title sounds WRONG but I swear it’s innocent. I’m 23 and I’ve been with my boyfriend, also 23, for almost two years. I have an ex(23m) who I dated for 10 months three years ago and before that he was one of my close friends. Because of how we knew each other, we share the same close friends and often do group activities for every occasion. My boyfriend doesn’t know my ex well because obviously there wasn’t a need to. The dynamic between my ex and I is Very platonic. I know I can’t use that word if I had a romantic relationship with someone but I genuinely feel like that’s the best way to describe it. He has his own gf and we literally have no feelings for each other. It’s still amicable though. My friends and I are Always going out for big holidays or occasions like birthdays, Christmas etc. And my ex and I are always present with everyone else. We literally don’t talk about inappropriate things or anything that would be disrespectful to our partners. Trust me, it’s “platonic”. My bf doesn’t like this. He thinks I should phase him out of my life. He wants my friends to choose between my ex or I but I feel like that’s an unfair thing to ask because they’re also his best friends? I’m not going to uninvite myself from a big plan just because my ex is going to be there like what? I don’t care if he’s present or not, I’m trying to have fun with my friends and so is he. At the same time I get exactly where my bf is coming from and how he’s feeling, because nobody wants their partner to hang out with their ex. Today he was out with his friends doing Halloween activities. I was working and didn’t have much to do after work. My friends called me over to pumpkin carve with them and watch spooky movies, but it was at my exes home. All my friends are hanging out, my bf is also out, I get major FOMO. So I guess this is where I messed up but I went to his house. With my entire friend group also present and we just carved pumpkins. Wholesomely. My bf did NOT appreciate this. He is angry that I was stupid to even go to my exes home and that I don’t “think critically”. I honestly understand where he’s coming from because I wouldn’t appreciate if he did that either. But at the same time he doesn’t know our group dynamic or the dynamic between my ex and I at all. I’ve never given him any sort of indication to feel jealous towards my ex or feel betrayed because I genuinely couldn’t care less about what my ex is up to. I know I messed up. Bad. And I feel so dumb for even stepping foot inside my exes home. I did think about how I’m going to my exes home and that it’s gonna weird my bf out but on the other hand I didn’t go for my ex, I went because all my friends are hanging out and if I didn’t go they would be doing all these cute Halloween things without me :( idk guys. Please send advice. I keep apologizing because I know I messed up but a part of me wants my bf to be more understanding. Is that unfair to want him to be more understanding even though he has a valid reason? AITA for going there?

boujeebuttons

AITA for going to my exes (23m) house?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjpoy/aita_for_going_to_my_exes_23m_house/

17jjpoy

So I (17) graduate high school at the end of the year and am currently looking at different universities to apply to. The thing is I am looking to apply to a university that is pretty far from the city/town I live in, with two of the main three being in province and the other being out of province. I know it’s a large decision to make but ill explain why I am thinking about doing it and then why I could potentially be the asshole when I do. Right now I wouldn’t say that I am friendless I just don’t feel that close to any of my friends anymore, no one ever really talks to me outside of school and I don’t hang out with them all that often, it’s not like they ate bad friends or anything I just always feel like a second or third or fourth option when it comes to anything so I don’t think I would be losing much as I move away in terms of friendship, I would also probably be cutting a lot of them off. I guess I could be to blame for the distance since I do know that I subconsciously distance myself from people but thats a different story. Another reason would be to be away from my parents, it’s not like we are the closest either and I am pretty independent anyways, I also feel like so much of my life has been controlled by my mom and shes kinda strict (she has rules for type of major, classes, when and who I can hang out with etc.) so I want to go and be without them and be truly independent. The final reason is probably so I can come out and explore my identity away from a lot of people who I know wouldn’t understand or accept it but I am too scared to cut off. I know that homophobia is something that you can’t run from and I will face everywhere but a new city and all that would be a chance to meet new people and start fresh without making friends with those who may be homophobic and stuff. Where I may be the asshole is I would probably be cutting off a lot of people who have really done me no wrong in life, and I would be leaving my parents alone and basically just fucking off with my tuition money. They havent really wronged me either but I just feel that this is something I need to do myself. I have talked with some friends about it and some of them have expressed similar wants but there have also been some who plan on staying and I think were hurt when I explained my post secondary plans, but again I dont really feel close enough to keep them in contact. I am aware that by doing this I could hurt a lot of people and it is probably just a really bad coping mechanism but would I be an asshole if I followed through and prioritized myself like this? some things I forgot to mention: I am only out to one friend and go to a catholic high school so you can imagine the reception if I did come out, I tried coming out to my parents but my mom insisted I was too young to know anything about myself, and I am the youngest of 2 if thats relevant.

shakinglikemelk

WIBTA if after graduation I planned on moving away and cutting people off

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjq0l/wibta_if_after_graduation_i_planned_on_moving/

17jjq0l

After 15 years, my wife(39f) told me(37f) she wants a divorce, but doesn't think it's necessary for me to move out. For most of our relationship, I have shouldered the bulk of our living expenses. After years of being in and out of work, she finally found a steady job in 2021. However, her contributions to the household have still been sparse. She is only responsible for the rent, which I recently found out doesn't always get paid on time or in full. Everything else, utilities, insurance, groceries, phone, car note, etc. are on me. When we first got together, she had a good job, but shortly after we started living together, things changed. She decided she wasn't fulfilled with her chosen career and wanted to pursue art, which I encouraged and supported because I loved her and wanted her to be happy. Thus, putting me in the position to be the only one with a steady income for the last decade. It hasn't always been easy, especially during the pandemic, but I've always kept us afloat. While she has remained carefree and unencumbered. I have also raised my step-children (twins 22) who still live with us and aren't currently working or in school. However, now that she wants a divorce, I don't think it is fair for me to stay and continue taking care of a household of adults. Plus, being in the house is painful for me, which she thinks I will get past once I "find peace." Her argument is that she travels a lot now, so me moving isn't a big deal because she can just sleep on the couch when she comes home and that I'm still her best friend. But I believe her reasons are more likely that she knows she can't take care of the bills on her own and wants to keep me around so she can keep living off my salary. So, AITAH, if I start looking for my own place without telling her?

InColour-0331

AITA if I move without telling my wife?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjqio/aita_if_i_move_without_telling_my_wife/

17jjqio

So, I'm (Sofía, F17) a trans girl, I'm 17 years old and I live in Mexico. I came out to my mom (F37) about three years ago, at first she took it well, but over time she got less and less accepting, she still refuses to call me by my name so I get misgendered and deadnamed pretty much every day. This isn't helped by the fact that we just moved to a completely different house (my mom (and me and my sister) moved in with her boyfriend, who also has two sons living with him, the house doesn't have enough rooms so I'm forced to share a room with one of those two sons, who's definitely homophobic to some extent, so is the other son, which means I'll now have to hide my gender identity for some more time. I was moved a year ahead when I was in primary school (because of some weird family stuff that's too long to explain here), but the school I went to didn't bother to do anything legally, which means I'm officially still in the same year I was before, I graduated high school this July, but legally I won't be able to get my high school certificate until next year. This means I won't be able to enter university until 2024, so I'm essentially forced to have a gap year between high school and college. Lately, I've struggled hard with dysphoria, all of my mom's actions in these past few years didn't help, and it's really been taking a toll on me, I've felt depressed and very lonely in this new house as I'm pretty much forced to hide myself and pretend to be a cis guy while living with three completely new people I only literally met a few months ago. After graduation, I decided to take some time off, mainly to be able to cope with my dysphoria and stuff, but my mom really hated this choice I made, and she says I'm using my gender identity as an excuse to not find a job or to do anything productive during this gap year, she keeps saying stuff like: "You'll end up being useless if you don't do anything this year", "Your trans problem is the least of our priorities right now, you should grow up and stop caring about this gender stuff", she keeps saying I'm selfish and I should focus on things that are "actually important". I do want to find a job, but I want to do it under my own terms and without her constantly pressuring me and screaming at me for doing literally anything. She gave me an ultimatum today, if I haven't found a job by friday, she'll take away my computer, my phone, my piano (playing music really helps me cope with dysphoria), and she'll ban me from listening to any music. She also once threatened to "break my jaw" if I ever spoke back to her again (things got really heated and I accidentally raised my voice without realizing). Am I being selfish?

Luixpa97

AITA for taking time off before finding a job?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjsen/aita_for_taking_time_off_before_finding_a_job/

17jjsen

She and dad used to get along really well before they divorced but things changed drastically. There were student demonstrations near our home criticizing the government, some politicians blamed the Americans and accused CIA of funding the activists, and my mother bought it. Told me to 'stop hanging out with your white friend.' I was upset at this but still tried to reason with her, saying the guy is French, not American, but she said 'all white people are the same.' Full on racism from that point, which led to arguments with my dad who did not want me to be exposed to such hatred and did not like the resentful woman she became. Last week she visited, saw the Tylenol I was taking(stupid dengue fever) and chastized my dad for letting me using Western medicine. She demanded that I stop taking Tylenol, so I told her 'This makes me really glad dad has full custody. You don't get any say.' My mother just glared at my before saying "I'm still your mom. You should show some respect." I could partly blame the dengue fever for what I said, of course, since that already put me in a foul mood. Not even cute kitten videos were helping and those usually cheer me up. But I still said what I said to her. Was I in the wrong?

Campusssesse

AITA for telling my(15m) mother I'm glad that my dad has full custody of me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjsts/aita_for_telling_my15m_mother_im_glad_that_my_dad/

17jjsts

I 21(f) have been dating my boyfriend 22(m) for 6 almost 7 years. He threatened to kick me out because I got mad over the fact he went to a Chinese buffet with my newly single best friend 22(f) of 2 years and her grand father while I was working and without telling me. It's also the same restaurant that we have been talking about going to for months. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him going out with MY friend without me and he pretty much told me to fuck off. I also asked my best friend about it and she said she didn't know what I was talking about. Im not really sure what to do about it... do I have the right to be mad or am I the asshole?? #ATIA #chinesefood #grandpa #bestfriend #boyfriend

SnooCakes3621

AITA My best friend went out for lunch with my boyfriend without telling me

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjt1k/aita_my_best_friend_went_out_for_lunch_with_my/

17jjt1k

Well my bf (now ex) broke up with me and unfortunately I have no place else to go so I am stuck living in the same ho.e as him and no space to move my things so I live here in the exact same space as him and sleep in the same bed when he has nights off. He wanted us o be friends but when he found out I was using again he kinda just quit being apart of our relationship and so I had to take at home tests for him bc he couldn't tell if I was high or not. Most the time I was high when he thought I wasn't and not high when he thought I was. I passed all these test and still he wouldn't take time out of his day for me and has been this way for over a year. He wasn't present for my pregnancy nor when I lost our child. So now months after that tragedy of my placenta abruption he has broken up with me and expected me to stay. I asked him if he wished to save us and he said a part if him did. But I can't tell and he looks happier now without me.. it's hard to take in but I am taking it day by day. So someone please give this dumbass some advice? Am I the asshole for not giving in and doing it even though he gave me nothing in return? Why keep wasting my time if he isn't going to put in the effort to be with me

Gingersnaps366

AITA for not taking any more at home drug tests when my ex still hasn't done his part in the" mend our relationship" stage?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjvcx/aita_for_not_taking_any_more_at_home_drug_tests/

17jjvcx

Me and my partner are newly 18 and 19 and live with my partners parents in a camper with no electricity or water. I am unable to get a job and my partner works. We are trying to save up to move out by next february but we pay $400us in rent every paycheck (so $800us a month) and that leaves us $600us to buy what we need for ourselves and save to move. My partner doesn’t want to talk to their mom about dropping what we pay. We dont live inside the house we don’t have power or water where we stay we really only use the house when we hangout with the family need to charge something or shower. I’m upset because how are we supposed to get on our feet when all of the money we have goes to their mom. I want to talk to her about having us pay less money so we are able to move and not live paycheck to paycheck. AITA?

Mediocre098

AITA for trying to drop what me and my partner pay in rent.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjx4d/aita_for_trying_to_drop_what_me_and_my_partner/

17jjx4d

I met this girl, Annie, in 2018 and had a small close friend group back then when we were all 17/18. We were pretty close, like all high school/teenage friendships did - going on camping trips, sleepovers, parties, etc. Around late 2019, I moved out from home and I became a lot more distant from that friend group. We all recognised that we were all growing up and our interests had changed. Maybe once or twice a year since then, we get the random 2 min conversation over text asking how we've all been. Fast forward to the present day. I am 24 and a completely different person now. I've been an active firefighter for the past 4 years and recently became a military officer. I have different priorities these days, and I am always on call. During this time I've also studied engineering. I have been super busy, and I rarely text/catch up with people. I love my career and worked my absolute butt off to get where I am now. I have a healthy work/life balance since I've been blessed with the most amazing partner I could ever ask for. So during my days off, I spend time with her and catch up with family. As for Annie, I feel as though she's still the same person from 2018. According to her posts on socials, she's 24, lives off her wealthy parents and still has no direction in life. She still lives in a shared house with a bunch of teenagers who are in the same boat as her with no plans to get anywhere. That was also one of the reasons why I became distant from her and the friend group. I became successful by surrounding myself with like-minded people who inspired me to get to where I am now. Being around her and her friends weighed me down. Last time I caught up with her and her friends, I felt as if I was hanging out with a bunch of kids. Just AWKWARD. They were the type of people who blamed everything that was wrong around them and that's the reason why they are who they are. Over the years, I've had my fair share of hardships and I learned that you are ultimately responsible for your well-being and you always have a choice. Being around people with this negative mindset isn't where I want to be. To sum it up, she was the friend that never grew up. I haven't spoken to Annie in a few years now. Recently she's been texting to catch up. NGL I have been ignoring her messages as I don't have the time to. After a 5-10 ignored texts that were sent for a few months. You think that she would get the hint? NOPE. I get a "DUDE ARE WE STILL FRIENDS OR WHAT?" message as an ultimatum and a few phone calls. I literally have friends who I haven't spoken to for ages but when we do, nothings changed and we continue. Just mutually happy for each other to be alive, well, and thriving. That's an adult friendship. I blocked her after letting her know her last message was stupid and that I couldn't be friends with someone who thinks we're still in high school. I have no time for drama like this in my life. AITA?

Admirable-Dog-7280

AITA for outgrowing an old friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjydt/aita_for_outgrowing_an_old_friend/

17jjydt

I haven't posted on reddit before so bare with me I guess. I'm a 16 yo kid and just now got annoyed at an interaction I had with my mother. Basically, I have a pile of stuffed animals sitting in the corner of my room. They've been collected over the years since I was a baby. One of the plushies is an animal with an easter bunny onsie on it. The hood can slide on and off of it. A while back, probably six or so months ago, I got bored and tried cutting the hoodie off. I thought it'd be cool to sew the edges up and try making a cute bunny hat for my dog. However, I got bored of the idea about halfway through cutting it and just left it alone. This left about half the hoodie detached from the plushie. It still looked fine to me, and it's my doll so I didn't think twice about it. The thing is, the doll is from a trip to an amusement park when I was probably around 3-5 years old. So, when my mom found out it was torn, she was pretty sad about it. The conversation had led to me bringing it up casually to which she asked to see the evidence. I showed her the doll and she got upset. Not mad, but dissapointed. While the doll wasn't much to me it clearly had sentimental value to her. I of course wasn't aware of that fact until that very moment. However, she said something that made me a little frustrated. As she was holding it she said, "It's really mean that you did that." It just felt off for her to call me "mean" for tearing my own doll. I didn't bother much about it though. Instead, I offered to ask my grandmother to sew it back. (Anytime something needs good mending grandma is who we turn to) To that she said, "No, you did it anyway. It's your doll you can do whatever you want to it." In that same sad voice. I kept insisting that it just be sewed. The doll wasn't mangled and it was completely possible to just sew the hoodie back into place. She kept denying the solution though. Saying things like, "No no you already did it anyway." And "It didn't mean anything to you anyway its just a doll." Again not letting up with the very clearly dissapointed tone. After she kept denying the solution I was presenting her over and over I got annoyed, took the doll back, and left to my room. I'm mad because I apologized and offered an easy fix but she just wouldn't take it. Not to mention she called me mean and acted like I was so cold hearted for ripping my own doll that I didn't know she was attached to. She of course got frustrated that I was annoyed at the situation so now I'm left wondering if I'm being an asshole for being upset. Side note: I still plan on giving the doll to my grandmother to fix and give to my mother so she can have it in her room rather than mine

BrokenQuil

AITA for ripping a doll my mom had sentimental value towards?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjyuc/aita_for_ripping_a_doll_my_mom_had_sentimental/

17jjyuc

For context, I (17m) am gay, and work part time after school. I usually dont mind jokes about my sexuality, I don't LIKE them but I don't really care usually At my workplace im always with the same team, most of them do joke about it sometimes but 2 guys really go all in with the gay jokes, all the time, they also often call me faggot and even tho i know it's a hurtful word i don't really care Well until last week, i went to see my dad after six months, really disappointed in me for my "lifestyle" and who could've guessed, he got mad, I'll admit than when he call me that word and get mad at me for that it do hurt, cause even if its just a word its still my dad Anyway so i really wasn't in the mood for those jokes at work, i told them in the morning that I was sorry but I couldn't stand it today. Well one of the guys didn't understand, after calling me that one too many times and doing the joke too much I got mad, told him to shut up and that he should stop trying to be funny that he's an annoying asshole and basically attacked him on stuff i knew i shouldn't have (him not having a dad / his girlfriend breaking up with him) After that it have been very awkward, the jokes didn't stop, but everyone seem distant with me now At first i thought i just stood up for myself but now i really doubt that was really the good reaction to have Aita?

Throwstuff678

AITA for getting mad at my coworkers over "jokes"

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jjzy2/aita_for_getting_mad_at_my_coworkers_over_jokes/

17jjzy2

because they increase financial strain. I want to preface this by saying i front 100% of the grocery bill. Tonight he goes to make frozen fries and he gives himself as much fries as i would cook if we were SHARING them. In addition to a chicken sandwich patty. I jokingly remarked at the amount of fries and he quickly got defensive about how it wasn’t even half the bag. To me it makes sense… if we arent sharing something we typically share then you make one serving for yourself… and your personal serving shouldn’t be the size of the serving i make to feed TWO people. These greedy tendencies fuck up everything when it comes to making the food i buy last. I dont want him to feel like im shaming him but at this point i dont know what to do, i think he should feel a touch of shame for not being able to eat as much as he wants for the groceries he doesn’t make an effort or offer to help pay for. AITAH?

1991chevytahoe

AITAH for dogging on my boyfriends overeating habits?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jk9rq/aitah_for_dogging_on_my_boyfriends_overeating/

17jk9rq

When I lived in my old neighborhood I had a neighbor who was friendly to me and my kids. We moved away (but still in same community) a few years ago. She was very upset when we moved. Like, called me and chewed me out. I felt bad for her so I kept in touch. I’m still friends with other people from the old neighborhood but they’re just like “hey what’s new” not “why can’t I see your kids?” This neighbor’s grandchildren are in another state. My kids are close in age to her grandchildren. My concern is that this neighbor *only* contacts me now because she wants to see my kids. They do not ask about her regularly at all. They were young when we moved. I have another neighbor from the old neighborhood who has grandchildren (in the same state) who visit over school holidays. Occasionally this neighbor will ask if one of my kids can visit, with her grandchildren. Weird neighbor will ask if she can take my (upper elementary school age) kids to the carnival. Like, the traveling carnival with sketchy rides and people. 2 years in a row I have said NO. At one time I thought this neighbor would be a “wonderful family friend” but now it just feels weird. She wants to come over to see the kids before they go trick or treating on Halloween. I already told her no, as I did last year, but last year she showed up anyway. I really just want to tell her GTF away from my family BUT I wonder if she is estranged from her own grandchildren and their family. She seems very sad when she asks to see my kids. So I feel guilty.

SlowSpeed671

WIBTA if I cut off a former neighbor from my kids?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jka5e/wibta_if_i_cut_off_a_former_neighbor_from_my_kids/

17jka5e

Hi everyone! So I (24F) went out with some friends (24F, 25F, and 24F) this weekend for a friends birthday and Halloween! I volunteered to be the designated driver because I had work early the next morning. So we all meet up at my friend Melissa’s house at 7:00 pm to get ready to go out. We all spend some time putting on our costumes and taking fun pictures together! We then decide to go out to a bar downtown (25 minute drive) around 8:00 pm for drinks and dinner. We get to the bar and parking is $10 which I paid. We order dinner and I order a soda while the rest ordered alcoholic drinks. We ate dinner and my friends decided they were tired and wanted to go home when the original plan was to bar hop. I was a little annoyed about this because if the plan was just to get dinner we could’ve ate somewhere closer. It was really busy at the bar so we ask the waiter for our check and I offered to put it on my card and have the others Venmo so the already busy waiter didn’t have to take the time to separate the checks four different ways. So I pay the bill and before tip it’s $80. After the tip it was $97. While I was typing in my email for the receipt so I could Venmo request the exact amount my friends all venmoed me $20 which did not even cover the full bill and did not include the price for parking. Also the rest of them had an alcoholic drink which cost more that what I had ordered. I did all the math which I can include but in summary they all paid $20 and I am paying $47.62 when I should owe only $25.15 meaning I am overpaying by $22.47 and each person still owes me $7.49. I know I probably sound a little broke lol but would I be the asshole if I requested they pay me the rest that they owe or should I just drop it? EDIT: thanks y’all for the feedback! I want to make it clear that I do not think that my friends were assholes for underpaying because I see where it was a misunderstanding about how much was owed. I just didn’t know if it would be too much to ask for the $7 each I was owed since it doesn’t seem like that much. Update: I reached out to the three of them and let them know that the bill was more than they paid. So far one has paid me back no problem and says it’s chill.

Plsbefriendtome

WIBTA if I asked my friends to pay me back on Venmo

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jkaa1/wibta_if_i_asked_my_friends_to_pay_me_back_on/

17jkaa1

Basically I (28m) don't want to go to my cousin's wedding as quite honestly, I hate weddings and think they're pointless and just a way to show off wealth. I was close with this cousin up until very recently. This isn't a wedding far away, literally maybe a half an hour drive for me, I just don't feel like going. My parents put my name without even asking me first and just expected me to say yes. Now they won't get off me cause I decided it wasn't worth my time I just genuinely don't want to go and don't think I should go

abuchewbacca1995

AITA for deciding not to go to my cousin's wedding even after my parents rsvp me before even asking me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jkdty/aita_for_deciding_not_to_go_to_my_cousins_wedding/

17jkdty

My brother (30 year old male) never really applied himself much to reach his full potential. He switches job once a year and at this point in life has worked at every fast food restaurant in Arizona. He only works part time and lives with family only paying $200-300/month. He has never not lived with family and has never actually paid his $200-$300 until two years ago. He spends all his money on computer stuff like two $900 32” curved monitors. He also has no credit history because he doesn’t want to go through the hassle of getting an CC. Recently he caused a car accident which since he’s still on my fathers car insurance his accident raised the rates. He is now being kicked off the insurance because he has a couple speeding tickets and a previous accident as well. He also needs a new car and this is where I come in. I make good money and have the best credit in the family. I got my doctorate and have saved every dime I could to prepare for the housing market. Well naturally my brother came to me asking for a co-signer and possibly help for the down payment. I told him that before I agreed on anything I needed to know the cost of vehicles he was looking at. He wasn’t looking at anything fancy but they were still around $20k and he only had $500 for an DP. I told him that he should look at cheaper vehicles because unless I co-signed and gave him a couple thousand, his car payments and insurance for full coverage with his ticket/accident history would be $480/month on 60 month plan. If he only works part time making $15/hr and with his past history I don’t trust him in paying that bill which would mean I would have to pay it. Also with co-signing, it would be added to my DTI which isn’t smart if I’m looking at homes. This started an whole argument about “I don’t support him”, I always have to remind him he doesn’t do as well as me and that only I’m allowed nice stuff in the family. He hasn’t talked to the several weeks since then. My cousin and grandparents said ITA saying that I was being selfish for not sharing the money I made. My dad kind of hinted also that I was being selfish. I’m not wealthy, I’m in my early 20s making about $104k/yr but I do make more than everyone else in the family and have $60k saved which I could dive into to help him. AITA for not just agreeing to just co-sign and give him a down payment?

Terrible-Friend644

AITA for not Co-Signing for my Brother

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jkk4l/aita_for_not_cosigning_for_my_brother/

17jkk4l

AITA, I make more money than my wife, but my standards of living are way less than hers. Neither of us grew up rich, but I grew up pretty poor (food stamps, trailer, etc.). My wife and I are expecting our first child and we still need to buy a house... and this is causing stress. The housing market is terrible. Interest is high and the houses available at our price range is not similar to her friends or family. She wants to use the best day care in our city as well. We recently had an arguement because I told her all of the things that she wants is going to be on me, because she doesn't want to get a higher paying job and I switched jobs twice to increase my salary to pay for expected expenses. Tonight I was looking at more modest houses and she pointed out a house that was about 80k higher than the one I was looking at. She says she wants certain features such as a basement, more space, etc. I told her she needs to manage her expectations and all of this burden will be on me because I'll have to pay for the majority of it. She said her sisters husband doesn't complain when he pays and asked why I want to save money for? I do max out my 401K, and some of the savings is for a HSA. But, in the end AITA for pointing out that she doesn't make as much and putting all of this on me isn't fair? And to be fair, she has been good with splitting expenses so far, but going forward, the added expenses is going to really throw off our budget.

drunky-trex

AITA for marriage financial stress

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jklad/aita_for_marriage_financial_stress/

17jklad

I just wanted some further insight on this situation because as a person and as an employee I feel horrible, but wanted to know how everyone else would act in this situation. So I work at a dental office that is privately owned, meaning the dentist is the owner, and his wife considers herself the office manager. They are both very sweet most of the time. I have over 3 years of dental experience, so I know how to deal with patients, the billing, insurance, check in and out, collections, etc. Doctor’s wife doesn’t know anything about running a dental office, this is her first time in such an environment. I helped them open about 4 months ago from scratch, like setting up the system myself and our policies. We only have 3-4 employees total, not including them. So I work in the front by myself mostly. I do the billing, insurance verification and billing, check in and out, treatment planning, and I open and close. His wife will come into the office everyday around 11am and leave around 2pm to pick up her kids and doesn’t come back. She says she comes to help, but really even when she is there, I have to answer all the calls and check in and out and treatment plan while she does other things for doctor. I feel super overwhelmed some days and it really gets to me. I get there at 7am and leave at 5pm with usually no lunch break or a super short lunch break. If I take a break, his wife will always call me to ask me questions. I once tried to call out because I wasn’t feeling well & they didn't let me because there was no one else who could work the front, and his wife was out of town. They know I am overwhelmed & have hired a couple people for the front but they only work 1-2 days a week and it’s both only for a few hours. They just keep hiring people with very limited availability just because they’ve known them… so they’ll work like 10 hours a week while I work 42 on average. Although doctor’s wife has her toxic moments, she does tell me constantly how much she appreciates me and how lost they would be if I wasn’t there. Her and doctor gave me a raise a month ago after my 90 days for the great job I’ve been doing, without me having to ask for one. But I’ve been interviewing at different offices because of how overwhelmed I’ve been feeling. And I got a job offer! It’s only a dollar more, but it’s closer to home. It’s more corporate, which I’ve been in before and have liked. I told them I’d let them know by Monday what I’d like to do and I would obviously like to take the offer and leave my current job. The thing I am struggling with is telling my current job that I am putting in my 2 week notice - as no one is well versed in the front office at all except me. They don’t have anyone who can replace me right now. I’m not sure what to do, or how to even bring it up to them if I decide to take the other job. AITA for wanting to leave my current job for this new one? Do I have it good and not realize it?

bianksterrr

AITA if I leave a struggling mom-and-pop job for another job?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jkpj1/aita_if_i_leave_a_struggling_momandpop_job_for/

17jkpj1

So I (22M) went to a Halloween party a few days ago. It was hosted by my friend and her roommates in their college living house. I only knew the one friend that invited me, so I was trying to get to know people with varying levels of success. I got to know a few of the other guys, but all the girls seemed to want nothing to do with me. Since I was driving home the same night I couldn't really drink, but the other people at the party were playing drinking games and singing karaoke. After a few hours, I go upstairs to get away from the noise. As I'm coming back down, I see a cute girl sitting on the stairs. I say hi to her, and sit on the stair above her and we start talking. She (18F) seems drunk, but still definitely aware and coherent. The staircase was pretty narrow, and in order to let other people pass we have to sit close to each other. She starts leaning on me as we're talking, and I put my arm around her resting on her opposite shoulder. After talking with her for a few minutes about our costumes, jobs, school, and cars, she tells me that she's here with her sister who was best friends with one of the people hosting. As we're talking, her sister (20F) comes over and starts interrogating me about who I was, how old I was, and what I was doing. She leaves after a minute but before she does, she grabs my arm and puts it at my side, saying, "This stays here." I felt kind of dejected and didn't really know what to do, so I halfheartedly talk with the girl for another minute or two and then get up and tell my friend that I'm gonna head home. On principle, I don't hook up with drunk people. I was legitimately just trying to talk with this girl and maybe see if it would go anywhere in the future, but instead I get told off. AITA?

incogneto_penguin

AITA for chatting up a younger girl at a party?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jkput/aita_for_chatting_up_a_younger_girl_at_a_party/

17jkput

For background, I (f21)currently live with my sister (f19). We have an arrangement where I cook us both dinner Mondays-Thursday, she cooks on Friday and we fend for ourselves on weekends.However, my sister has never held up her side of the bargain. She just sits around and hopes that I'll get hungry enough to cook instead. This has been going on for months and it's started to really irk me. So, today (a sunday) I was making myself dinner and she come in and asked if she could have some. I said no because I only made one portion. She asked why I didn't think of her when cooking. I snapped at her and told her that she's an adult and can make her own food. That she does this all the time and she needs to stop treating me like a personal chef. She responded by calling me inconsiderate and saying this is proof I don't care about her. Than she stormed off to her room. I understand that I shouldn't have snaped at her ,but I feel like she's overreacting. I've asked a couple of my friends and they're split. Some say that I should have been more considerate since I was already cooking. Others say I'm right and that my sister should cook for herself. I know this is something really minor in the grand scheme of things ,but I need to know AITA?

y0urn0tmytherapist

AITA for letting my sister go hungry

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jks3e/aita_for_letting_my_sister_go_hungry/

17jks3e

Am I the asshole for standing up for myself My cousin and I were very close and we have lived with each other about 5 years then she moved out. We remained good friends and occasionally texted each other. When we had family gatherings, we would always hang out and we were inseparable. However, about three years ago, she changed a lot. She would constantly insult me and passed it off as jokes and jokingly gave backhanded compliments. She was only ever interested in her social status and didn't care about other things such as being nice or whatever if it meant she would become more popular among all the relatives. I ignored this for a while until I just couldn't anymore. We were hanging out then I said something that was a bit factually wrong. Out of nowhere, she just aggressively corrected me and I just snapped. I called her dumb and stupid and how she never prioritised academics. She always pointed out that she had more friends than me. It became very clear to me she's obsessed with her status. The next day, she restricted me from all her accounts and I didn't even think to since I wanted to give her a chance to explain. I can't tolerate this anymore and it wasn't this one incident it was a series of insults and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. She'd always say I was too obsessed with academics. I just blocked all of her accounts to think about this. So AITAH?

Terrible_Ice411

AITA for standing up for myself

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jkw9n/aita_for_standing_up_for_myself/

17jkw9n

TLDR: I'm tired of having to crack the whip on my chronically late friend, and doing all of the work to plan for his dream trip. This is my holiday too and I don't want to waste time or miss out because of his lateness. WIBTA if I went on my own without him if he is late? My close friend and I have decided to take a trip to Japan. This trip is a BIG DEAL for him. It's his first visit to Japan and is a bucket list trip for him. However, while I love my friend dearly, he is chronically late and is a major procrastinator. This has gone on for the 25+ years we've known each other. He is usually late not just by a couple of minutes, but by an hour or two, sometimes more. Normally, I will take it in stride and it doesn't bother me much. I usually do something else while I wait, or make it clear that I will go ahead if he doesn't arrive on time, and we meet up later if at all. There have been times when I've had to buy his ticket for him because he procrastinated too long but I always gets his agreement in advance and he has always paid me back. Since I have been to Japan three times already, I kinda know the ropes and have planned our complete itinerary, taking into account his interests. We will be taking multiple trains and I have made reservations for some timed events, with the agreement of my friend. But if he is late for the train, it will mean losing several hours or even a day since we would have to rebook tickets. Depending on the timing, this may mean staying an additional night at a hotel, which would have to be booked last minute at a higher cost. Otherwise, there would not be a cost or penalty for rebooking train tickets, and minimal cost (less than $100) if we don't make our reservations. I even had to push him to buy his rail pass and plane tickets before prices went up drastically. Although I offered to purchase his rail pass and plane tickets because there was a strict deadline, he procrastinated in telling me when he could travel so we ended up purchasing both of our rail passes and plane tickets at the same time, a couple of hours before the deadline. Meeting these deadlines has saved us about $2500 *each*. I think I am tired of doing all of the work to plan this trip, and having to remind my friend several times of upcoming deadlines or to give me his input so I can continue to plan. Both of us are taking time off work to take this trip, and I don't want to waste my time waiting around for him or missing out on experiences due to his lateness and procrastination. WIBTA if I left my friend if he was late for the train? WIBTA if I told him in advance that I would do things on my own if he isn't on time? Although this is his first trip to Japan, he is an experienced traveller and would have data to navigate, translate, and basically figure things out. Also, there is extensive English signage and announcements on transportation routes.

juliemoo88

WIBTA if I left my chronically late friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jkzkz/wibta_if_i_left_my_chronically_late_friend/

17jkzkz

Hi, i´m Zizi (18y, F) im a Brazilian Biology student, and every semester in my university we are required to deliver a full project, composed by an article, slide presentation and a banner. In this semester i ended up in a group of six peaple. In the start i was very happy because i am in fact a lover of these kind of projects, Victor (23y, M) was another member wich had me really engaged too, because he is also very intrested into academic production so we were exchanging our content from the beggining. The other group members turned out cold and said nothing about the work. We are also required by the university to deliver weekly chapters to our designated teacher to demand corrections and ATRIBUTE GRADES AS WE DELIVER our chapters. First delivery in, no one shows up except Victor and i, then absolutely no one responded the group chat in the introduction deliver day so i ended up doing it together with Victor wich had responded me (we would all loose points if not). Another member, Philip (21y, M) just sends Victor what was supposed to be his chapter, a 7 lines long text wich needed to be 60, full of grotesque grammar, and out of the technical norm for academic articles (required by university for this kind of work), we called everyone to suggest, but no one did, so i started saying politely that there were needed some corrections. He seemed to understand. His next correction came back with fake references, even fewer lines (now 5) and a list-like text wich wasn´t at all allowed at this kind of project. We sat down, full group and we all helped him understand what to do, and out to correction AGAIN. Nothing was sent, Victor and i did his chapter and delivered. Philip then on launch day, showed up and asked Victor to help with the summary (he never delivered his final version chapter), but he said he would only do it if Victor videocalled him, and said were and how to write the summary down and what were the chapters names. Victor told him to do it himself, and Philip got pissed off! I tried do calm him down, he said that we were being overwhelming and that he was trying his best, i told him that we were just trying to help to achieve university rules and norms in his text with real references and that was the same for all, he then brought out that Paula (another member, who had just tried take her life) was feeling bad because of this, and hell she wasn´t because i am her friend and i know that it was because of family issues. I got pissed and told him he was irresponsable and delivered a lazy, undone and way too bad text for us to deliver, hence why the corrections. All of the other member sent their parts eventually, (even Paula). He started to gaslight me saying he did sent his part (he did not), saying i was histerichal about this and that he never said or implied anything about Paula (wich i kept going back to read), and said i was insulting him; i cried all night. AITA?

Few-Economy1793

AITA for telling my group partner he is lazy and irresponsable?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl0g9/aita_for_telling_my_group_partner_he_is_lazy_and/

17jl0g9

So a bit of background to start off. My husband (29M) and I (30F) have been married 6 years, together 12. We met through a mutual friend our last year in high school and bonded over nerdy stuff, did long distance while I did my bachelor's degree for 4 years. I am the oldest of 6 children. Money was always a bit tight, but manageable. My dad was army, and put out on disability for a severe training accident after baby number 4. Baby number 5 came due not long after my dad was put out due to a birth control issue (it's not 100% unfortunately). When baby number 5 was around 2, my dad got a second opinion from a civilian doctor and was allowed to come back into the military. Not long after that, baby number 6 (cause my dad wanted a 2nd boy). I was 11, and had dealt with food stamps, my mom having breakdowns from financial stress, and ended up with ptsd and depression myself from the childhood trauma. My husband was the youngest of 5. His parents had their first 4, then when the second youngest was 12, decided they didn't want to be empty nesters yet and had my husband. When the other 4 were little, they struggled financially, but by the time my husband was born, his dad had worked for NASA for over 2 decades, so they had social security and a high salary. They went out every weekend, and he would get fast food every couple days, while my family only could afford to go out for birthdays. My husband didn't make me aware this was how often they went out until the last couple years. I've had to tighten our budget and restrict how often we eat out, and my husband had a legit panic attack over it. I make around 600 more than he does a month, not including the OT that I work, and I do all the household chores except his laundry. Last night I was really tired and didn't feel like cooking or doing a ton of dishes and asked if he would be ok with a PBJ sandwich or can of soup from the pantry to use up what we had. He got really offended and asked are we so bad off that we have to resort to poor people meals? I didn't think there was anything wrong with canned soup and crackers or PBJ, it's what I grew up with and it's food, and thought it would help decrease our debt to use what we had, but maybe I'm wrong? Am I TAH? Why I might be TAH: Wasn't considerate of my husband's depression and wasn't willing to try making actual food.

Shadowangel26

AITA making hubby eat poor people meals?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl0xt/aita_making_hubby_eat_poor_people_meals/

17jl0xt

(low effort post I'm tired) I came across a girl at my new school, I had just moved a few months earlier around the end of the school year and met her, she was super sweet and nice and somewhat funny. I never really became her friend. But later the next year after going into a few relationships that ended quickly I realized I sorta liked her. Then I tried to be subtle about it but my friends cannot keep a secret. So I told her and she didn't respond and my friends acting extremely childish asked her in the middle of a class and she just friend zoned me in front of everyone. Then I just kinda felt weird around her and hid my face. But I got a friend who was helping me text her the right things. In return I did her history homework. Then she told me she got a boyfriend and told all her friends that. But me being sorta weird I checked her yt channel. Because I thought her videos were funny. And there was a video titled "This is why I am single" or something like that, all the videos are deleted now. And ironically it was the reasons I did like her. Then things went on and one night I was up at are family cabin when my big sister had got in contact with one of her friends. And she told me that I was apparently making her uncomfortable (i can sorta understand this cuz i'm like a puerto rican giant and she is really short) than I went and texted her sorry and this turned into a weird argument about no one liking me (i was feeling really depressed at the time). During this argument th girl from earlier who was helping me (not in the argument) sent me a image of her making fun of me and the argument in their group chat. In the image is her saying that i don't know her and she's not the sweet innocent girl I thought she was. I asked her about this and it led us to sharing stuff about how we were traumatized about stuff and how she threatened people also she thought she was making ME uncomfortable, and she was glad that she was making me uncomfortable at school but this ended in us both agreeing to ghost each other. And this makes things hard because she hangs out with some of my friends. Also she spread a rumor (or it was her friends) that I wouldn't stop harassing her and that I wouldn't stop asking her out which eventually got to my parents which uh was not very fun explaining to them that it was a rumor. And that is it ig please point out any bias or stuff you wanna know for more context.

Substantial_Cook6455

AITAH for doing this

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl112/aitah_for_doing_this/

17jl112

I am 13. I am allowed to play out at the weekend. Before I go all the homework that needs to be handed in on Monday has to be finished. I have to say my mum's phone number to her and she says it is so she knows I can call her if my phone breaks or I drop it or lose it or something and she knows I have not forgotten her number. I have to have my phone charged to 80% or more. I have to open the app for the bus and mum buys me an all day bus ticket called a dayrider and she says it is so I can get home safe even if I spend all of my money even the last penny. I played out this weekend and I didn't do my drama homework and it was only going to take five minutes so I could have done it when I got home. All the homework is set by teachers on a thing called classcharts and I know mum has a parent account and can see all my homework and detentions (but I never really get any.) I told her all my homework was done and she let me play out but when I got home she said I was not allowed to play out at all next weekend because I lied and for the two weekends after that I have to do all the homework for Monday and Tuesday if I want to play out. We had an argument and I told her she was being really strict and punishing me for three weekends was too much and she said I should have thought about that before I lied to her face. I said if it mattered that much then she should have looked at classcharts herself to see if my homework was done and she said she wanted to trust me with little stuff before trusting me with big stuff. I said drama homework doesn't matter and she said if I kept arguing then she was going to make it four weekends. I think making me say her number is weird and she says it is in case I lose or break my phone then I can still call her but I have never actually done that so it is like she doesn't trust me with anything and then she checks up on me when I am not even there to see if I did the homework and if it mattered she could have looked before I went. AITA for telling her she is too strict? I got really angry but I have got calm now and I think I might have shouted at her too much but I don't know. Mum said she will not change her mind about the next three weekends but if I lie about my homework before playing out again then she will take my switch away for a whole week. She said it is not the homework that made her cross but it is when I told a lie.

KoalaWeird7593

AITA for telling my mum she is being way too strict?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl159/aita_for_telling_my_mum_she_is_being_way_too/

17jl159

So, I am 16 years old and currently have my drivers permit, I am going to take my tests for my license in a few weeks. My mom is 33 and my stepdad is 29. Obviously I’ve been needing to drive around my parents or just drive in general in order to get enough hours to actually, like, qualify for the test? Which, in this case my dad has been the main person I’ve been driving around, as he wants me to get my hours so I can get my license and experience for the road by myself. Now my mom and stepdad in this instance, aren’t the biggest supporters in a sense. Whenever my dad and I leave anywhere for any reason, he has me drive, the only exception being when he picks me up from work and when he’s in his work truck. My mom and stepdad haven’t taken advantage of this, and I’ve reminded them many times I can drive and need to in order to be able to take the test, which sometimes they’ll let me. In other cases, they’ll say we’re in a rush or need to go to an unfamiliar area so I can’t possibly drive there. However, they’ve been having me drive them around at night, which I need the night hours, but only when they’re drunk. Due to this, I absolutely hate driving with them anytime I have to. When they’re drunk, my stepdad in particular, is super hypercritical of everything I do and always attempting to correct me, even though I take the same way plenty of times to understand that I am going in the right direction and don’t need him to tell me anything. In general I just hate driving with my mom, she’s a very overreactive person in daily life and it’s absolutely ridiculous, especially when I drive. In summary, they’re insufferable to drive with, purely because they see me as a designated driver. Now, most times I don’t carry my wallet with me ,purely because of the infrequent amount I drive with them, which contains my permit to drive in. I don’t believe I can drive without my permit on me, so I always am adamant on having them drive rather than me whenever they aren’t drunk and remember at the last minute I can drive and decide to use it as punishment (??) Anyways, I’ve explicitly stated I’d prefer them to get in trouble than me for any possible reason. I doubt this would happen but I wanted to get my point across. This feels more so like a vent rather than me asking a real question, but WIBTA if I just told them I don’t want to drive them around anymore? Maybe I’m just sick of being around them. Sorry if this is incoherent, I just had to get this off my chest and finally question this.

number76999

WIBTA if I told my mom and step dad I don’t want to drive them anymore?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl2rv/wibta_if_i_told_my_mom_and_step_dad_i_dont_want/

17jl2rv

Pretty recently I got into a bit of a one-sided argument with my friends. We all have a group chat with eachother to chat in for context, theres 3 of us. I’ll call them Luke and Kyren Okay so one day, I was playing a game and I was grinding in it cause I was really close to another level. They message me asking if I wanna play this game with them, I say no cause I really want to level up (i’d been on the game for hours just trying to get to this one level) and Kyren says something like “omg just say you dont want to play” so I responded with something along the lines of “I do not want to play *insert game.*” (its a shitty rip off of a already shitty game) and they didn’t respond to that. A few hours later, I message the gc saying I levelled up and was super excited abt it lol, they both ignored my message and started having their own conversation in the groupchat So for like the next week they either barely acknowledged my messages (either completely ignore or something like “woah” or “ok” as a response) Then I found out that they were going to dms to vc (so I couldn’t even join the vc and talk to them) and playing a bunch of those two player games or games they know I can’t stand (horrors.) So I got frustrated with it after I was super excited about something and messaged them about it for advice and Luke said he hadn’t read my message (it was like a few sentences and the chat wasn’t even active for him to have just missed it) So I left the gc, they kept adding me back and got upset that I was leaving, so I told them not to add me back to it because I don’t want to be in the group chat. Since I was still pretty annoyed after, I went and played some random game. In that game, a different friend joined and I explained to him what happened, as I was explaining, Kyren joins and clearly sees the message, then he leaves. I get a message from Luke about 30 minutes later saying “we didn’t mean to ignore you” so I just ignored it cause I didn’t really know what to say icl, then the next day I get a paragraph from Kyren saying they weren’t purposely ignoring me(in this page of a message, there wasn’t a single sorry), I also ignored that. And then a few days after that, none of them had messaged me and I hadnt messaged them. I went to play a game with a group of friends, and they both joined, but I’m not petty enough to leave the server because they’re in it, then they start private messaging me about how I can’t be this upset over 2 messages (it was way over two, I was ignored for days) To be completely honest, I’ve been ignoring them but they haven’t made much of an effort to talk to me in the first place. Am I the asshole?

K1w1sm1lk

AITA in this situation with my friends?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl2wf/aita_in_this_situation_with_my_friends/

17jl2wf

First and foremost, I am NOT a dog person. There was a period when I hated dogs more than anything in this world. I just didn't understand why they got so much love. I started dating my GF in March and since then my hatred for dogs has grown into an appreciation (mainly because she has one herself). Being with her dog from time to time made me enjoy dogs because her dog was crazy chill. Her dog stays with her parents while we are at college. 2 weeks ago, her roommates got two new puppies (one of which was split between my GF and one of the other girls). Since then I feel like a part of me is jealous because when I do get to see her, 70 percent of the time it is her entertaining her new puppy. When I am occupied doing something, I am told to "give my child some love and attention." I feel like my GF is playing house in a way. She is the mother and I am the father with the dog being the child. That is kinda weird to me because, to me, she is just a dog and not a child. Today, I was asked if I love the puppy yet to which I said "sure". But when I was told to put it on my little brother (who I would never lie on), I refused. She then got upset and claimed that I didn't love her because I didn't love "my daughter". I kinda left it alone and tried to call her a few hours later. She then proceeded to say. "You don't love me" "I will never have someone not love my puppy, especially my significant other" "You don't love her then you can go to hell" That stuff seriously hurt my feelings. Why am I being put on the back burner for an animal that she met 12-13 days ago? We have been together for 7ish months. The whole experience made me want to just take a break from her for a day or two. What she said to me today wasn't cool. I never said I disliked the puppy. I said that she was cool but I just didn't love her. Am I seriously an asshole?

SmalterU

AITA for not loving my GF's new puppy???

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl36n/aita_for_not_loving_my_gfs_new_puppy/

17jl36n