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2,291 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Morty 2 | It was the Mortytown Locos, man! The Mortytown Locos! |
2,292 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Do you realize how many codes you just violated? |
2,293 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Aw geez, Rick. What do I know about knowin’ stuff? Get in the fucking car. |
2,299 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | Can we fact-check this, please? Never mind, who am I kidding? This race is over. |
2,302 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | I don’t see a divide between Ricks and Mortys. |
2,306 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | You guys finished? The division I see is between the Ricks and Mortys that like the Citadel divided, and the rest of us. I see it everywhere I go. |
2,307 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | I see it in our schools, where they teach Mortys we’re all the same because they’re threatened by what makes us unique. |
2,308 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | I see it in our streets, where they give guns to Mortys so we’re too busy fighting each other to fight real injustice. |
2,309 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | I see it in our factories, where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss’s salary, even though they’re identical and have the same IQ. The Citadel’s problem isn’t homeless Mortys or outraged Ricks. |
2,310 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | The Citadel’s problem is the Ricks and Mortys feeding on the Citadel’s debt. |
2,311 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | Holy shit. |
2,313 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | But I’ve got a message for them, from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive. A message… from the Ricks and Mortys that believe in this Citadel to the Ricks and Mortys that don’t |
2,314 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | Holy shit. I don’t believe it! I-I can’t believe it! |
2,315 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | I know. That’s why you’re fired. |
2,318 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | Your life is a lie, man. All your lives are lies! Don’t you get it?! They told us we were special because we were Ricks, but they stripped us of anything that made us unique! |
2,320 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | I-I-I want a portal gun. Unregistered, untraceable, with enough fluid to take me off this goddamn prison! |
2,327 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | Yes? |
2,329 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | Gosh. We moved around so much it’s hard to remember. I see every Rick as my Rick. |
2,330 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | I hope they see me as their Morty. |
2,331 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | Another, please, with less water. |
2,333 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | I guess I shoulda had more faith. |
2,335 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | What’s this? |
2,342 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Hands in the air! |
2,344 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | You guys doin’ a little chemistry homework with Grandpa? |
2,345 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Is this what I think it is? |
2,346 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Bootleg portal fluid. |
2,347 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Guess his math was off. Search the place. |
2,349 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | It’s okay, Morty. |
2,350 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Jesus! |
2,351 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | He stabbed me! He got me bad, Morty. |
2,352 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay. |
2,353 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | You were right… Everything I learned in the academy was-- |
2,354 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | It doesn’t matter. Nothing’s wrong with putting your faith in a Morty. You just gotta pick the right one. |
2,355 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Why is there a crib in here? |
2,356 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Just somethin’ they do to make you feel bad. |
2,357 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Boy, I got us knee-deep in paperwork, huh? |
2,358 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Go to the car and grab a MediPack. Lemme worry about this. |
2,359 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | What happened? |
2,360 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Same old story. Mortys killing Mortys. |
2,361 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Lizard Morty | Almost... got it... |
2,365 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Lizard Morty | I bet it leads to a place where a bunch of fri-- flies everywhere! |
2,366 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Slick | Yeah, I bet it goes nowhere. I bet it's a big hole where the Citadel dumps all its broken dreams. |
2,368 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Slick | You wanna know why? Because of this! I'm part of an experimental line of Mortys with a trauma implant. How do you think it feels, Fat Morty, to know that no matter where I go, I'll always be the one that makes everybody sad and... a little bored? |
2,369 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Glasses Morty | Slick, that implant isn't who you are, okay? You also roll up your sleeves. |
2,371 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Lizard Morty | Then you should use your left hand to eat more vegetables. |
2,372 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | Hey there. How you doing? Great to meet you. |
2,374 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | That doesn't sound like Rick work. You didn't come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you? |
2,377 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | This is just like a Morty baby! |
2,378 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | Hey! Did you end up getting a new job? |
2,379 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | Yeah, I did. Assassinating you! |
2,380 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Candidate Morty | I'm okay... I'm okay... I'm... Ohh... |
2,382 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | No thank you, and bad math. |
2,384 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | What is the place? |
2,385 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | "The Creepy Morty". What is it your kind's always saying? "Don't think about it." Come on. There's someone important I want you to meet. |
2,387 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | They had a little accident. They won't be causing any trouble anymore. |
2,389 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Big Morty likes to contribute to keeping the peace in Mortytown. Think of him as a drug lord, and us his cops on his payroll. |
2,390 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Morty... |
2,392 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | M-m-my partner. Morty, you're right. Mortytown is bad, but that doesn't mean that we have to be. |
2,396 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Don't worry about Rick, Big Morty. He's new. He doesn't understand how it works. |
2,398 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Wh-why would you say something like that, Big Morty? You're fucking things up for both of us here! |
2,400 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Big Morty, you're under arrest. |
2,401 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | S-smartest man in the universe. |
2,403 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Not so big now, are ya? |
2,405 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | That's enough! |
2,406 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | If we don't kill him, he'll talk! |
2,407 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | If you do, I'll talk. |
2,409 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | You told me to put my faith in the right Morty. I got faith in you, partner. Do the right thing. |
2,410 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Morty | Oh, Grandpa Rick! I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore! I want to be a regular kid! I want to go to school and throw balls around and masturbate! |
2,412 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Same old story. Ricks killing Mortys. |
2,416 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | A bad place, but you're going to a better one soon. |
2,419 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | A portal to the Blender Dimension?! That's the oldest trick in the book! I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you!! |
2,421 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | Then come and get me, motherfuckers!! |
2,425 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | Rick. And I'm-- |
2,427 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | Fifteen years. |
2,429 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick J-22 | Where are we going? |
2,432 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Narrator | There's a Rick who held a factory hostage after murdering his boss and several co-workers. The factory made cookies, flavored him with lies. |
2,433 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Narrator | He made us all take a look at what we were doing, and at the bargain he got a taste of real freedom. |
2,434 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Narrator | We captured that taste, and we keep giving it to him so he can give it right back to you, in every bite of new Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects. Come home to the unique flavor of shattering the grand illusion. Come home to Simple Rick. |
2,436 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Slick | After you. |
2,438 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Lizard Morty | I guess I wish I had something cooler than this dumbass surfer necklace. |
2,439 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Glasses Morty | I wish incest porn h-had a more mainstream appeal, f-for a friend of mine. |
2,440 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Slick | None of those things are gonna happen, y'know. Morty wishes never come true. Not on the Citadel. |
2,441 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Lizard Morty | Then why did you bring us here? |
2,442 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Slick | Because I wish that would change. I wish anything about this life would change. |
2,443 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Glasses Morty | Well, I hope you're putting something pretty goddamn important in there. |
2,444 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Slick | Me, too. But I doubt it. |
2,445 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Glasses Morty | NOOOOOOOO!!!! |
2,446 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Lizard Morty | SLI-I-I-I-I-I-I-ICK!!!! |
2,447 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Glasses Morty | Maybe... Maybe he went somewhere nice. |
2,449 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | He gotta be stopped... He-he cou-couldn't be allowed to win. |
2,451 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | He's alive?! No, no, no! You gotta listen to me! I-I worked for him! I was his campaign manager! That Morty is not what he seems. |
2,453 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Campaign Manager Morty | He... won? |
2,458 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | Why am I still here? I already confessed to everything. |
2,460 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Cop Rick | But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes! |
2,463 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Glasses Morty | Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks? |
2,464 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Teacher Rick | No graduation. No new Ricks. The school's curriculum is changing. |
2,465 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Glasses Morty | To what? |
2,466 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Teacher Rick | I don't know, and I don't have to know. I've been fired. Good luck, turds. |
2,467 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Lizard Morty | Holy crap... Slick's wish came true. |
2,482 | 3 | 7 | Tales From the Citadel | Rick | Whoa!! Hahaha, yeah! Atlantis, baby! |