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10vdset

Ok so let me explain.I lost a 2500$ weight loss bet. The bet was on who could lose 20 pounds faster. Me and my roommate agreed that if I won she would pay me 2500$, and that if she won I would have to go on a "punishment diet" for a month.Basically I can only eat gross food she cooks for me all month.So far she has made flavorless oatmeal with protein powder added for most of my meals.She is only letting me drink sparkling water (because one time I complained about it).She has told me that if I am to drink coffee it must be black and cannot have milk or creamer.She gave me nasty baby food once and really made me eat it for diner and or go hungry.One day she gave me a coca cola, and I was surprised she was allowing it to me, but then she showed me an empty package of "flatulence inducing prank powder" after I had drank half of it.She also bought me 10 crab hotdogs, and said I need to eat them all before the month ends (THEY TASTE LIKE LITTERAL BUTTHOLE).I told her I cant take the bet anymore and that the punishment is too much. To which she reminded me of when we last made a bet like this and I made her eat pickles with milk (but that was only for 3 days). Im trying to tell her I cant take it, but she just said "put on your big girl panties and just eat your crab hot dogs, you would have took the money if you won". She also claims that losing 2500 dollars is equal to what Im going through, and offered to let me buy my way out.WIBTA for ending this without paying the bribe?

WIBTA if I did not follow through with a bet that requires I eat nasty food all month?

YTA

10vdlpr

My uncle passed away last year from cancer and it was and still has been very tough on our family. He left behind 3 children, Max (34M), Lin (32F), and Amy (30F). Lin and Amy are very career driven and are successful. Max is not. He is a persistent mooch and extremely lazy.Currently, Max is living in a house given by his mother. He owes over 10k in taxes, has 2 broke down vehicles, and has on and off jobs. He smokes weed constantly and can barely afford food for him, his wife, and their dog. His water and power have been shut off due to him not paying for said utilities. His wife works a part time job because she doesn’t have any experience and recently received her green card and work papers. (They got married on the K-1 visa).My uncle left each child $25,000 in separate accounts. Lin and Amy haven’t touched theirs because they haven’t needed to use it. Max has blown through it completely, but he hasn’t touched the debt he’s deeply in. Max gets jobs, but he works long enough to get fired and earn unemployment benefits. He has talked about this and always says “oh just didn’t work out.” My uncle got him a job with a friend, but the friend told my uncle that “Max sits around when he’s on the job or doesn’t even show up.” Hence he’s fired.My uncle lived in the house I currently reside in (owned by my mother and father), and Max would stay here for weeks on end with his wife and dog. My uncle was debilitated and they let him live in filth. Fleas were everywhere, roaches and silverfish too. This is a 1000 sq ft space. It was foul and completely abhorrent how they allowed him to live in this state.When my uncle left to live in Lin’s home, Max was still up here for about a week. When my mother and I came to check it out, the entire place looked as if someone had a food fight as well as a frat party. Fleas and the other bugs still very evident.It took 2 months to clean. Now, just last night, Max texted me asking for a place to stay until he can ‘get on his feet’. The IRS is repossessing the house and his vehicles. I told him last night, “I cannot take you in due to how much of a mess you left. I hope you find a place soon.” He called me an AH and has been trashing me to the family. My parents agree that Max, his wife, and dog shouldn’t be living with me either. AITA?

AITA for not taking my cousin in

NTA

10vdg0t

I 39f am married to my husband. We have a big big family. I have 3 children that I have adopted, Miguel12, Ryan12, Lisa9. I adopted all of them as baby or toddlers. Then I also have 3 biological children James14, Ella7 and Eve4. Bio or not it doesn’t matter to me but it is relevant to the story. I love my family, my other family members love my family so I never thought this would be an issue. February 1st my mom flew in for the first time in 5 years to stay for a week. She has seen my children a few time prior over the years. When she came she brought abunch of gifts for all the kids. The issue was there was significantly many more gifts for my bio children. I was a little set off by that but my husband just said to let it go and we’ll get them something special. Then I noticed she was only super cuddly with my bio kids, and Lisa actually called her “grandma” and my mother made a face. That night, she only tucked in my bio kids. That’s what sent me over. I pulled her aside and asked her about it and her first excuse was “well they are too old to be tucked in” I said well James is 14 and still did it, and Lisa is still young.” Then I confronted her on her attitude, she told me they weren’t technically her real grand children and just because I wanted to open my home to strangers kids shouldn’t affect her, she was nice to them and brought them gifts as well, and that’s all that should’ve mattered.This upset me greatly and I told her to take her bags and leave. She started to cry and asked me where she was suppose to go. My sisters is a 45 minute drive or I told her to get a hotel, either one. She called me an AH and left. My sister called me angrily bc I made mom cry. My husband thinks I might’ve went too far kicking her out, but I was defending my family.

AITA for kicking my mom out the first time she visited in 5 years?

NTA

10vbzfe

My wife got a decent job offer from another country to start in a role in August. This country is literally on the other side of the world.She didn't tell me anything about her plan nor that she had applied for the position. I only heard about it a few weeks ago when she was entering second stage interviews. Mind you, we have two children as well.I am not in a position to switch country just like that. I have debt and other liabilities I need to look after and have a plan for. I would have to find a similar job there with an equally good pay. Now, after looking into the country, salary levels, etc., I feel that a move there would be exotic and tempting, but absolutely not feasible or financially smart.The move alone would end up costing thousands if not over 10K, rent deposits, etc. Finding good daycare/schools, etc.Well, I am sure you all can imagine what is included in a move like that. I know it has been her vison to live and work abroad at some stage, but I feel she skipped so many steps that I honestly feel a bit confused why she decided to go about it like so.Today, after listing all the pros and cons down, talking to her peacefully and explaining why it is not a good idea to just go with it, why it is not responsible, financials, etc., she shut down. It was like I took all her energy.I can sense she resents me for this, like I do not support her. But I feel this was too big first of all for her to start planning on her own.I feel I have been reasonable and considered the big picture, but she is definitely taking this hard.AITA? Should I have entertained this thought further or go about it differently?

AITA for rejecting my wife's plan to move abroad?

NTA

10vevix

I (27f) have a cousin (30f) who has pushed my last button. We were close-ish as children, she lives in a different city but we were thick as thieves when we were together. Into teenagerhood and adulthood, her attitude has started to affect me and our family more. Her mom never really said “no” to her much growing up and she got away with a lot because she had a rough childhood in general and they never had money. This didn’t affect me until we got older and she started making everything about her. For example, one year at our GIANT family Christmas she was going around pulling people aside telling them she had Post-Partum Depression after her first child. I sympathized with her, but it was so inappropriate for the setting. She also didn’t really need to be telling our extended family and taking up time they could have spent catching up with others they hadn’t seen all year. Her behavior is so bad, many family members have cut her out of their own lives for the purpose of mitigating drama. She never gets invited to weddings. She also takes advantage of family members that still giver her attention.Her sons first birthday was on my college graduation date. I was the first grandchild to graduate with a college degree and my grandparents were so excited to come see me walk. She scheduled his party for the same day knowing my graduation was that day. My grandparents told her they wouldn’t be at the party and you guessed it, it caused a complete blow up on her part. I brushed it off until 2 years later. Her parents moved out of state. Our moms (sisters) planned a whole Easter weekend so her parents could see their daughters/grandchildren, and we live halfway between the 2 cities. My mom spent time and money to make it PERFECT and magical for everyone. Our grandparents were also coming (which they don’t do often due to age).3 days before they were supposed to be arriving, I find out my cousin has canceled the whole weekend because she had a panic attack. No one was coming. If this was an isolated event it would be one thing. But it seems over the last 5-6 years, something always happens that sends our ENTIRE family into a tailspin based on 1 person.I’ve struggled with mental health for 10 or so years but have never let if affect family affairs. I called my cousin because my mom was crying and mad. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back for a lot of us. I got on her about this constantly being a problem. I suggested in the future if she didn’t feel comfortable attending a holiday to keep it to herself.She got mad at me & told at least 20 other extended family members that I yelled at her for having mental health concerns (which isn’t at all true).I haven’t spoken to her in almost 2 years because she refuses to do anything but sweep it under the rug. I, however, want an adult conversation before moving forward. AITA?

AITA for calling my cousin out after ruining holidays for years?

NTA

10vdpwl

My daughter’s (17f) best friend (17f) has been staying with us for about seven months. She has stayed with us a few times in the past after she and her mother got into fights, but that was just for a few days or overnight. This time seems to be more permanent (which we are totally fine with), at least until she goes to college. My daughter, her friend, and my son are all seniors. They have senior fees coming up, the total amount is almost around $1000. Senior fees cover graduation, photos, trips, etc..My husband and I already have to pay both our daughter and our sons fees. Plus they also have prom coming up. The mother of my daughters friend isn’t paying any of her fees. My husband and I agreed that we wouldn’t pay it either, we cannot afford to spend that much money on someone who isn’t our child. We did talk to our daughter and told her if she wanted to sit out on some senior activities, to give her friend half her money she could. My daughter basically threw a tantrum and said we’re being unfair, she says her friend is already living with us and “treated like part of the family” so she should be treated equally and given the same opportunities. I do feel terrible that she has to miss out on senior activities. I also feel a little guilty about it, but she isn’t my child and I shouldn’t be forced to pay just because her own mother won’t. AITA?

AITA for not paying for my daughter’s friend senior fees

NTA

10vc93n

Quick reference points: I am a male (28) and I live with my girlfriend (27). We have lived here for almost a year. This particular situation has gone on since we moved in.The apartment that I live in shares a wall with the apartment to my left, the only shared wall we have with this particular apartment. Unfortunately, that shared wall is actually the divider between the two bedrooms. Inherently, this really isn't a huge issue. I've had shared walls like this before, and the nature of noise within shared living complexes is something that I am familar with and have a tolerance for given the circumstances.All of this being said, I have a reached a breaking point with the volume at which my neighbor yells when he is climaxing. It feels almost comical to type this out, because I almost feel like \*I\* am the one at fault here for caring so much, and it is truly difficult to emphasize the loudness through text.At least 3-5 times a week, at all kinds of random times of day, my neighbor climaxes so loudly that I can hear it clear as day in my apartment. It is usually a combination of intense moaning with \*many\* "oh fuck, fuck, fuck" or some sort of variation of swear words. I almost wouldn't even care if the intensity and frequency were somewhat balanced. But this shit happens often, and never goes unheard. At first it was kind of funny. My girlfriend and I laughed it off and were just excited to be moved in and living together. But we've reached a point where it's just starting to be flat out invasive. I reached my breaking point when I was on a Microsoft Teams meeting (I work from home) and as I was updating my team on my work for the week, this dude maxxed the fuck out. It was so loud and vulgar that i just left the meeting and came back on chalking it up to "my internet going out". Given the sexual and personal nature of what's happening, after finally having enough I wrote a note explaining that this guy needs to get a grip when he climaxes, and that it is invasively loud, too frequent, and is entirely devoid of consideration for the people around him. I did mention the business meeting scenario as well. I left the note in the windshield of this guy's car.I did not sign the letter because my girlfriend isn't particularly keen on me drawing attention to ourselves, but I just couldn't let this shit keep going unchecked.AITA here because I just need to not dictate someone's sex life, or do I have grounds here for trying to not feel violated in my own home??

AITA for telling my apartment neighbor to get a grip on how loudly he's climaxing?

NTA

10vcjjl

Somebody in our extended family recently came out as gay. I was worried for them, because I know some of the attitudes that some members of our extended family hold on this. The worst reaction came from one of my aunts, who even went as far as to refer to him with terms like "groomer", and said that she does not want him near her children anymore, because she both does not want them to be groomed, and does not want her children "exposed to that crap".In response to this, I have said that I will no longer be attending any events where my aunt will be present, both in disgust as to her behavior and in support of this person in my family who came out as gay. I want to be an ally, and I also do NOT want to be around people like my aunt anymore. She is a loudmouth, and I do not want to be around her while she runs her mouth about how terrible of a person he is and how upset she is about "the gays" infiltrating the family. People like this infuriate me and keeping them in my life in any way only serves to add toxicity.Soon, we will be having a big family reunion. Of course, my aunt will be present. I have made it clear that this is no exception, if she attends I will not be present. Everybody is upset at me over this. Even the people in my family who are allies and vehemently disagree with how my aunt is acting have urged me to attend, in order to "keep the peace". I have been told to "grin and bear it" and just ignore my aunt. I have stayed firm and will not be attending this reunion as long as my aunt is there, which has made some in my family upset and accuse me of "fanning the flames" and starting more "unnecessary drama". AITA?

AITA for refusing to attend a family reunion where my homophobic aunt will be present?

NTA

10vdien

Original Post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10qxxm8/aita\_for\_refusing\_to\_lie\_for\_my\_wife/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10qxxm8/aita_for_refusing_to_lie_for_my_wife/)The inspection came and went. The good news, there was no drama. I warned the agent about what happened and my wife filled her in on the family backstory. She was very understanding. FIL did not bring step-MIL, but did bring up the "cousin" thing ...... as expected, he waited until I was not in the room. He seemed convinced he had met her at a family gathering before (lol!), and she even played along.It turned out for the best, because there was no drama. I did not get put in a position of being a liar myself or letting the cat out of the bag on my wife, and there were no hurt feelings on the other side either. That's not to say this won't come up again down the road. My wife is actually more resolved now to rip the band-aid off.

UPDATE: AITA for refusing to lie for my wife?

NTA

10vcxfz

Me (24m) and my gf (22f) have been together over 2 years. I work full time and she works part time and is at uni. I work from home most of the time and when my gf is working she doesn’t start until 3pm. She normally spends the mornings doing uni work.It was my lunch break today and there was something I wanted to watch on tv so I went into the living room and switched the tv on. My gf was in there doing uni work on her laptop and asked if I minded waiting until she had finished. I asked how long she’d be she said around an hour which would take up my full lunch break. It’s the only tv we have so there was no other room I could watch it in. I pointed out she had a desk set up in another room specifically for work but she said she wanted to work in the living room.I pointed out it’s the only hour I have free and asked if she could possibly use another room while I watch tv but she refused. I pointed out I wouldn’t be able to do anything at all if I had to wait for her to be finished since my lunch break would be over but she said she didn’t want the noise of the tv while she was trying to work. I suggested she work in the spare room where her desk is set up then she would be able to work with no distractions but she refused.AITA for wanting to watch tv in my lunch break?

AITA for watching tv in my lunch break?

NTA

10vc5lb

Hello, I’ve done something bold and something I think is a long time coming.I (34m) for many years defended and loved my father because it is who he is. I try to typically see the hood in people. We however, have had quite the rocky relationship.The spark notes version is when I was younger, he left and married into a different family but was nice a lot of the time, I spent weekends with him and my step family. As I got older he got less present and honestly I’m jealous he put a lot of effort into my younger half brother (who is now 19). He’s also said some very rude and disrespectful things to me as I’d gotten older, once asking if I could lend him money to go see his mother as she was in hospice. I didn’t have any money, I was overdrawn in my account (I was 20) at the time so I unfortunately couldn’t assist him. When she passed he got mad at me and said it was fucked up and couldn’t help him when he thinks I would have done so for my moms family (I was raised pretty much exclusively by my mom.) There are several other things I could remark on, but that’s for my therapist. The long story short is he’s never been as present or prevalent as he believes he has.Over the years, we had an on again off again good relationship, and he’s gotten ill with something called spinocerebellar ataxia. It impairs his movement and his ability to speak, he is in a motorized wheelchair now and has a hard time talking. In addition it is painful to listen to him as mentally I always remember him being in this great shape and now he’s almost unable to be understood and is declining.I texted him on his birthday wishing him a happy birthday, I didn’t call because I know it’s painful to talk. My birthday is three days later, and he sends me a scathing text message that he goes off on me and says that I should mean more to him than a text. I had told him my side and told him we should talk about our history some.Months pass, nothing comes from it. My grandmother on his sides birthday just passed and he was upset that I didn’t wish her a happy heavenly birthday. He texted me and said that it was fucked up that I don’t seem to care as much about his family as I do my moms (it shouldn’t matter but I’m biracial and he did point out that he thinks I care more about my white side than my black side.)I had enough and I didn’t think it was his place to send me such a message especially coming after my other family. So I told him I am done speaking with him until he evaluated himself as a father and comes up with a meaningful apology. Am I the asshole?Edit 1 (since things are coming up here a lot)- He communicates with most people if not all specifically via text. It hurts him to talk and his speech is almost unrecognizably slurred.- The grandmother I couldn’t give him the money to see has passed 15 years ago. He was asking me to wish her a happy heavenly birthday.

AITA for telling off my disabled father?

NTA

10vfhpb

I (35F) have been with my partner (36M) since just before the lockdowns. We were one of those couples whose relationship got greatly sped up because of the pandemic. This has been compounded by the fact that we live in a one room home and cannot get away from each other very effectively..He is a very nice person and I love him, but we have spent a lot of time disagreeing, to the point where I have wondered if we are really compatible long term. Our most common arguments up to this point are about s3x (I'm a 1x a day girl, he's a 1x a year guy) and about interacting (I love in depth conversations and debates, he prefers peace and quiet/ parallel play). I am giving this as background because I want to make sure I am not being biased in any way..Recently, he told me he was going to buy property for him and his family. I was supportive, because that is a great investment for them. When he went to buy the property, my partner whipped out a check for $60,000. I had assumed he was going to put a downpayment on something, but no— he was buying it outright with a check for $60,000 that he could just... write. And pay. Without it bouncing..I was stunned. I have been buying groceries for the both of us 95% of the time since 2020. I knew he earned a bit more than I do (he works for himself, I do social work), but the EXTENT of it... I have been draining my savings account over and over for YEARS and often having to ask my parents for help just to feed us and put gas in the car (also my expense 95% of the time). I figured that groceries were how I contributed to the household, and that he too was more or less treading financial water trying to keep us afloat. As he has pointed out, he gets things like firewood and some systems for the house that help it function(things like ikea bookshelves). He always has had money to get himself expensive electronics (drones, etc)..My partner has no idea why I am upset about this. Every time we have discussed it, he has seemed genuinely shocked at my reaction, and no amount of my attempting to reframe it has gotten him to understand my perspective. He points out that when we get take out food (usually 1x a month) he covers it, and he covers laundry expenses (a recent development, <1 year), and he says the expensive electronics he buys he uses for his business (that much is true). He thinks I am overreacting and that I am intentionally ruining what should be a happy moment for him..I have gone to see family for couple days to clear my head. My sisters have called my partner predatory and say he's taking financial advantage of me. I feel like I am going crazy and I am doubting myself every minute... Please, internet, AITA for feeling taken advantage of here?.**TL,DR:** Partner managed to save $60,000 while I have been financially struggling due to buying groceries for both of us for years. I feel very hurt, but he has no idea why I am upset about this and thinks I am overreacting. AITA?

AITA for being hurt that my partner saved $60,000 while I have been financially struggling for years buying groceries for us?

INFO

10vcyik

My husband and I have been married over 8 years. When we were dating we did some partying that included festivals, clubs, raves, drinking and drugs. It's not normally something I'm into but hey, every once in a while, why not let loose? I was in a new town and dating a new fun guy. A few months into dating I made clear that the partying was not a lifestyle for me and that if we were to continue dating, drugs could not be a part of our life. Now we are nearing our 40's and he still goes out occasionally to clubs and festivals to drink and do drugs. Maybe a few times a year. He is open and honest about the alcohol and drug use. He says that music is his passion and he really loves the DJ's and that sometimes he gets fomo when he sees all the people partying on social media. He did get to party a lot in his 20's, which I feel like can be an important part of growing up and having fun and making memories and experiences that will last a life time. Most of the time he goes by himself as I will not longer go to these things and he doesn't have any friends who like that sort of thing either. His excessive drinking and dishonesty with drug use in the past had nearly drove us to divorce. I only came back when he went through AA and got his drinking under control. He has gotten a DUI in the past before I met him, and until I put my foot down he still was driving with a bac higher than legally allowed when we met. The drugs are definitely not legal. All the common club drugs that are popular these days. I toleratehis occasional partying even though I don't agree with it because he supports my cycling and outdoor hobbies. Twice I've taken a week to do a cycling tour with a friend (a guy friend if it matters). He supports me if I want to take outdoor classes or go backpacking with friends even if he doesn't care to go. Am I being unreasonable and possessive if I don't want him to go? If music and festivals are really his passion the way the outdoors is for me... how could I say no to that? I don't really ever want to be the one to tell someone "no", I'm not his mother or the police. Otherwise we have a great relationship. We love each other's company and spend most of our free time together. We exercise together and try to live mostly healthy in the mean time. We are not suspicious or jealous people. ... But it still doesn't feel good, I don't like that he goes alone and don't like that he's intoxicated. It would be completely different if he were sober. I trust his judgement when he's sober, but intoxicated on alcohol and illegal drugs is a whole different thing. He says he cannot enjoy it without those things.WIBTA if I asked him not to go any more?*Edited with more info, thanks for the feedback*

AITA if I don't let my husband pursue his hobbies while I pursue mine?

YWBTA

10vej0p

My mother, gave my Son HER mother's Diamond wedding ring to use the stone in the wedding ring he was going to give his future wife. It's like a 4Karat naturally mined 75yr old stone, so not cheap and not replaceable.My mom mentions this ring often and at this point doesn't know they are getting a divorce.Son 25 married a unfortunately immature girl, they have been legally married for less than two years and she has decided that she "just isn't happy, and just doesn't want to be married anymore and wants to take time for herself to have more fun in her life, etc etc" , and wants a divorce. Luckily they have no children and no combined ANYTHING, bank accts etc. We gave them $2k for their honeymoon, which is fine but I want to ask him to get the diamond back, she can keep the ring itself but after dedicating less than 2 years to a marriage, I don't feel it is fair for her to keep the stone, esp when she never even wore it because (even though she picked out the setting) she decided it was just too big and gaudy.So... Am I The Asshole for asking for the Family Diamond back?Edit: To clarify, I haven't said anything yet, mom doesn't know the divorce is coming and I anticipate her thinking of this too. My plan was to ask Son, in a couple weeks once the shock and some sadness has warn off, to ask for it. I won't get involved unless it comes down to outright PAYING her to get it. Right now he is super depressed and just wants to do anything to NOT get a divorce but she has already made plans so I doubt she is going to change her mind.

WIBTA to ask my DIL for a family heirloom diamond back?

NTA

10ve106

My fiancé (27M) and I (27F) are getting married this year. From the very beginning we have planned for a kid-free wedding aside from my Fiancé’s son, my sister's baby, and my future sister-in-law’s/fiancé’s sister’s baby. The babies are only an exception because the mothers both nurse. All other children including all the other nieces and nephews aren’t allowed (we already have invitations that say no kids). My fiancé has ten nieces/nephews and I have one. The place we are getting married at has a capacity of 100 (adding ten people to this will be an extra $1500 in fees/costs). His parents vetoed our first wedding venue choice and threatened to take money away because it was too far away. This was a big issue between us but eventually we ended up finding one that was 30 minutes away from us, that was a bit cheaper, but would only be able to accommodate 100 people. His parents were happy. Throughout our planning process, we let everyone know our wedding is a more upscale black-tie event and that we wanted a kid free wedding. His family kept brushing us off every time we’d mention the no kids thing. We finally put our foot down and said this isn’t a discussion/joke and they were obviously upset. We told them 1) we just don’t want kids there, 2) the kids aren’t well behaved and the parents don’t supervise them, 3) the kids won’t want to be there, and 4) we have other people who we would much prefer to have there. His parents told us “this will have to be discussed” and that this would be an issue for their family. They proceeded to tell us weddings are about family. And I told them weddings are about the bride and groom and who they want to celebrate their day with. Two weeks later, my fiancé’s parents cornered him. They told him all his sisters were upset (even the ones without kids), they told him the 100 person count shouldn’t matter and they’ll just not invite their friends. His father promised to watch the kids the entire time and make sure they are on their best behavior at the wedding. And his parents told him two of his sisters didn’t feel like flying their families out for a wedding the kids couldn’t go to was worth it. My fiancé told them he’d discuss it with me. Fast forward another few days and my fiancé decides to call and hear directly from his sisters about it. All three said their kids were hurt they weren’t going to be allowed at his wedding. They told him that if behavior is a concern then my fiancé and I need to sit down and tell everyone our expectations. I don’t want kids at the wedding and the way his family has acted regarding this issue has reinforced my desire for a kid free wedding. We already let them veto our venue choice and I don’t want to let them force us to have kids at our wedding.If I reached out to his family and let them know that kids will not be allowed regardless of how frustrated this may make them, would I be the asshole?

WIBTA: no kids allowed at wedding including nieces/nephews

NTA

10vdq2v

I love my ex-girlfriend's dog and it broke my heart when we broke up and I had to say goodbye. We've been broken up for a while now and I know she's been having some financial difficulties.To give some context, I'm in some debt myself at the moment. I'm not financially very well to do and she knows that. Over the course of our relationship, I also spent quite a considerable amount for her dad's hospital bills in the name of a loan to her, but obviously, I never got any of that money back.She texted me out of the blue to ask me to help out with her vet bills, and I helped her with about 15k in the span of a month. The dog's been in and out of the vet hospital about 3 times in that time, and my advice was to let the dog go because financially, she is not able to support the vet bills, and neither am I. Not at the level of care her dog needs anyway. When I loaned her the 15k for the vet bills, I already knew I probably wouldn't get it back but I know how important the dog was to her, so I did it anyway.So yesterday, the dog had to go to the emergency room again due to breathing difficulties (genetic disease), and she begged me for money again. This time round, I refused because this was clearly not sustainable. I would have gladly helped again if the dog can be given a clean bill of health but that was clearly not the case. Even if the dog made it through this time around, there was no telling when she will go back to the hospital again.I told her I was tapped out and she basically screamed at me over text, calling me heartless, selfish, and why couldn't I get a loan from people around me to help her out. I ignored all those texts and reminded her of the times when I helped her out. She retorted by asking me what's the point of bringing up all those things and told me either to help her get money for the bills or just shut it. She ended up blocking me on all channels.AITA for refusing to help?

AITA for refusing to help my ex girlfriend's (30F) dog

NTA

10vero1

Ok so I, 21F, went over to my aunts (45F) house for a visit and my cousin (26F) and her son (3M) were also there at that time. We were sitting in the living room catching up and my aunt goes to the kitchen to make tea when my cousin’s son, who I will call Wolf for privacy, toddles up to me. For context I am not good with children nor to I particularly like them. I am autistic and have sensory issues, but also I just am not a fan, but I try to engage with Wolf as best I can, though I don’t really know how to interact with kids so I mostly just say hi in a friendly voice. Wolf sees my IPhone sitting on my lap and grabs it and goes to put it in his mouth. I quickly reach for it and try to take it back but Wolf doesn’t want to give it back. My cousin, who I’ll call Sarah, sees this and laughs and says “oh yeah he’s at that age where he just wants to play with everything and explore everything!” But doesn’t help me or do anything. I say to wolf “let go of the phone honey” and try to take it out of his hands. I finally get my phone free but Wolf immediately starts crying and screaming while trying to grab my phone back. I look to my cousin for help and she says to me“Can’t you just let him play with the phone? He won’t break it. You weren’t using it right now anyway” I tell her no and that I’m not comfortable with him playing with my phone especially because he’s trying to put it in his mouth and my cousin gets all pissy. She picks wolf up and takes him to his room and doesn’t come back for awhile. 30 minutes later she comes back without Wolf and she’s all upset with me and she tells me that he had a full on tantrum and had to be put down for a nap and all of this could have been avoided if I had been less selfish and willing to let him play with it for just a couple minutes. My aunt said she didn’t want to take sides. I don’t think I should have to let a kid play with my phone and touch my things, but maybe I’m the asshole because I went over knowing wolf would be there and so I should have been more willing to be lenient? So Reddit, AITA?

AITA for not letting my cousins son play with my phone?

NTA

10vdf00

I was meeting up with u group of friends. We decided it would be fun to take a group picture to remind us of the meetup. My friends asked to take one with me and a second picture in which everybody but me is included. Their reasoning was that I have albinism which means I have white hair. They said it would harm the aesthetics of the photo. I let them do that but told them it was really mean and that it sucked to be excluded like that. They got mad and said I wouldn’t be able to see the photos anyways which isn’t true. I am legally blind, but not fully blind so I can see the picture and well I can very much see that there’s one that I‘m not in. So we argued for a bit and they told me I‘m an AH for being jealous of them taking a photo without me.AITA?

AITA for wanting to be part of a group photo?

NTA

10vczwk

I (24 F) am getting married in October and graduating with my doctorate in May. Growing up, my biological father was never a part of my life. I always wondered what it would be like to have him in my life, and it affected me deeply emotionally growing up. I had met him a total of 3 times. Once when I was 3, when I was about 8, and then again when I was 12. All times he would go no-contact after our visit for a few years and then contact again after a few years. But after the last visit when I was 12, he never reached out again until I reached out to him. When I was a senior in high school, my mom finally found his number and gave it to me and told me to do whatever I wanted with it. I messaged him, and we actually kind of reconciled, but I never fully forgave him. Up until July of last year, our relationship was ok. But he came to visit me in July, and the entire time all he did was talk about how terrible my mother is and embarrass me everywhere we went. I didn't understand how someone could talk so poorly of my mother when she never kept him from me and always made sure I had everything I ever needed and wanted. Then at every restaurant he would make sexual remarks towards waitresses or when he did not get something quick enough he would throw a fit and scream at them/management. It made me extremely uncomfortable. He would even talk about him and my step moms sex life and talk poorly of her. (She wasn't there, he was just in my city working and she was back home, he lives in another state). After our visit, I decided to go no-contact with him. I haven't heard from him since July. He texted me on my birthday in October, like 11pm. I have decided to invite his sister however who I have never met. She went no-contact with him when they were kids, because of the way he behaved and stole from their mother. But, his sister has always been there for me (emotionally) since I was born, although never meeting her in person. She always answered phonecalls and text messages. We were supposed to meet up finally last summer, but due to the financial constraints of being in school, I wasn't able to afford the vacation she had planned. She seems so excited to be there and has already booked a hotel. She tells me how proud she is of me constantly and how she is so happy I didn't turn out like him. She always talks so beautifully of my mother, telling me how happy she is that I had her to raise me.However, my fiance and many others are telling me that I will regret not having my biological father there. But, I don't consider him my father. My grandfather (and grandmother) helped my mom raise me. And my grandfather taught me everything a dad should have, so he will be walking me down the aisle to give me away and the father-daughter dance. So, AITA?Edit: I forgot to add that this was not our first meeting since we reconciled my senior year. Before this, he had actually attended my high school graduation. Then when I was in college I went and was supposed to spend a week with him and my step mom in his state. However, I stayed 2 nights and then decided to leave because he was making me extremely uncomfortable. I also wanted to add that my step mother is an absolute angel and honestly if it was not for her he probably would have never even replied to me back when I texted him for the first time my senior year. I think that is what makes this so difficult because by cutting him off, I have to cut her off too, and she is absolutely not a part of my decision for cutting him off. I honestly wish she would leave him and find better, because she deserves it.Edit #2: My fiance's bio dad did basically the same thing to him. He recently passed away. My fiance says he has a lot of regrets for not including his bio Dad in his life more.

AITA for not inviting my father to my wedding and graduation, but inviting his estranged sister instead?

NTA

10vasba

To make it short, I live with my grandparents because they insist, and they changed my permanent address to their address. So I had to change my citizen ID. And today I picked it up and when I got home, I showed it to my grandmother, because it was different than the one I got 3 years ago. And she immediately noticed, that I didn't put my name titles on it. (I have masters from media and journalism and bachelors from software engineering) I told her I don't see reason why, and she immediately went onto a rant, how a week ago she saw list of people who live in our apartment building and everyone has their titles there. She even started to name the people individualy together with their titles, sometimes with some derrogative words for people she dislikes. I waited for her to finish her rant and then told her, okay, but I am going now to my room, because my foot is hurting (I have medical reason that I am working on, but for now it hurts as if you step on lego every time). And she stops me, tells me to wait... and she continues ranting for a few more minutes. Aparently my ID upset her so much, that when my aunt came to visit, it was the first thing my grandmother told her when she sat down. And they both started to tell me off, for not putting it there. I am confused, it's not required by the government, and it's not as if I am a medical doctor or lawyer, like they are. Even though I find this situation silly... AITA for not putting my degree name title onto my ID?

AITA for not putting my college degree name title into my citizen ID?

NTA

10ve5g7

I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with my third child. I currently have an 8 year old son and 1 year old daughter. I have been in a rocky relationship with their dad coming up 10 years. He has a majurana dependency which has caused a majority of issues in our relationship. As a non-smoker I'm not against him smoking. It's the financial burden(Spending up to $400 weekly) and time spent away from us (eg smoking with friends and family on a almost daily basis) that causes me to feel frustrated. When ever I bring up how I feel it causes major arguments and ends up in him telling me I'm controlling and he ends up taking off to his parents who tend to baby and enable him. He does help out with the kids after he has his "Smoking time away" i just wish we were higher on his priority list..Am I over reacting?

AITA for wanting my partner to prioritize his family before his habits?

NTA

10ve2t0

My family celebrates Lunar New Year and my family was hosting for 1 of the days. I (late 20sF) was helping out as part of the hosting family. My sister, Mel (early 20sF, fake name), unfortunately had to work as she works in the service industry and have no way of getting even a half day off. So she came back after a 8-9hrs shift to a jam packed house of party. While our parents, other siblings and I were still on kitchen/hosting duty, Mom immediately asked for her to help out some stuff. I asked her if I should go but she said its fine and went with whatever needed help in. After awhile, the kitchen work toned down and she went pass me into my room. Many friends and extended family was asking for her as it is the first year after many years they didn't see each other. But didn't dare to enter our rooms to bother her.I went to check her out as our parents was asking for her to come greet her elders and whatsoever. She was sitting on the floor by the desk using phone with the chair and bed covering the view to her. Before I even spoke, she looked up with teary eyes and told me that outside is a bit overwhelming for her at the moment and would like quiet time abit if possible. She wanted to borrow my room since people might keep looking for her in her room.So I asked if she wants me to close the door so she doesn't have to use the furniture to hide. She nodded at me and I went out doing so. Mom was like "Where is she?" Which I just replied, "She's tired, let her rest abit." Since I know Mom doesn't understand the burnout she might have, coming home after a full day of interaction-work to face a crowd once again at home. Mom shrugged off but Dad was somewhat furious. Mel used to have bad tendencies when she locked herself in the room before but that was more than 10 years ago things and in fact she has better coping skills than me now. I trust her to be by herself a long time ago. However, Dad chewed me out for it and told me not to leave her alone. (We spoke privately for this). So what I did was went back in, asked her if she wants me in, she said no. So I went out and told Dad she doesn't want it and we shouldn't push her. Luckily Dad didn't go further and went to entertain his friends. Mel came out soon after, muttered a thanks to me and went on without a issue. I definitely had some doubts after the party since what Dad was concerned about wasn't wrong but I don't think I should intrude her personal space. But I'm second guessing myself right now.

AITA for "locking" my sister in my room at her request?

NTA

10vfio8

I was at a waterpark with my son and we were ready to leave so we proceeded towards the family restroom/changing room. There were 2 private restrooms that were currently being used and there was a woman and her child standing in front of one of the bathrooms waiting to use it. I proceeded to stand in front of the other bathroom. I did not speak to the woman while we were waiting but we were both standing there for a good while, I would say 5-7 minutes. During this time a worker came up and stood between the 2 bathrooms facing us as though he was waiting to run in to clean or restock one or both of the restrooms once they became free. He was pleasant and smiling/talking to my son and the woman's son while we waited. My restroom became free first and my son and I proceeded in. We took a little while as we were changing out of our wet clothes into dry clothes, I would say probably another 5 to 7 minutes. When we exited the bathroom, the woman who had been waiting for the other restroom was next in line for my restroom and as she was passing me she began scolding me for cutting her in line and that I was teaching my son bad habits.I just kind of stared at her in shock speechless because she can't possibly be talking to me right?? We were both standing here waiting for these restrooms for a long time and never had she suggested 1 line for both restrooms. I figured the worker probably proceeded to clean the other restroom once it became free forcing the woman to have to wait for my restroom which I'm sure was very annoying for her since she had been waiting longer but how was I supposed to know that's what was going down? The worker never said anything to us about that while we were waiting. Anyways I felt bad but also irritated that she had been so confrontational towards me in front of my son who was also confused saying "but we didn't cut her in line!" I kind of wanted to find her after to correct the situation but you gotta pick your battles. Still, ruined the rest of the day for me.So AITA for not offering the restroom to her first??

AITA for allegedly cutting in line at the bathroom?

YTA

10vdptx

EDIT: Forgot to add the part ab the restrictions :,DI [15 F] got a new iPad for Christmas. Seeing as I just got a new one, I gave my old iPad to my little sister. [12 F] She has a lot of fun with it, I kept some of the apps she liked on it and allowed her to download new ones. Recently she downloaded Roblox, which in my family isn’t exactly allowed. I only have it because the girl I babysit likes to play with me when I’m over at her house. She quickly became obsessed with this game called Adopt Me, and when I had my friend over asked me to give her money so she could buy Robux for the game. I said no, because the iPad was still hooked up to my apple account. (I tried to sign into hers but we don’t know the password.) Even my friend kind of backed me up. She was upset but accepted it. Fast forward a couple hours, I was having dinner and playing some mindless phone game when I got a notification that someone had bought something off my apple account. I opened it quickly and it showed that my balance was now at $65 (I had about $80 I think?) and that someone had bought $15 dollars worth of Robux. It wasn’t that much money, but I save up my apple money in case I need to get myself out of a situation, like if I lost my Duolingo streak or if I need to buy something out with my friends. So I confronted her about it and she said she put a gift card in, which she didn’t because I would’ve seen that too. She was in the shower so I planned to talk with her when she got out. My mom went to talk with her and came out saying, “she didn’t know how much she was spending,” which didn’t make sense to me. I had told her not to spend anything?? My sister also accused me of being mean and not letting her buy something and that I owed her money anyways. This isn’t true, I buy her IAP’s for her games when she asks, (roblox is out of the question because I know how addicted kids get to buying Robux) and recently bought her a $40 sims pack as a surprise. (If I’m the AH for anything, make it for paying full price for a sims 4 dlc.) I made it so she can’t make IAP’s anymore and has to put my password in before she buys/downloads anything. She said it was unfair because this was her iPad. So AITA?

AITA for putting restrictions on the iPad that I gave to my sister?

NTA

10vcbdh

Alright, so I have a best friend named Sarah. We’re both 16 and we’re practically inseparable. Typically we hang out after school at my house. This is because Sarah’s sister, Ally (12), is a pain in the ass. Alli is very awkward and simultaneously wants to be around me but not talk much if at all. She usually will just stare and it makes me uncomfortable. She’s also oddly sensitive to scents. Like I can’t wear my perfume around her because it’s “too strong “. She has a lot of quirks that me and Sarah call Allyisms. The most annoying being her tendency to make random noises especially when she’s upset or her fascination with stuff I leave in the guest bedroom.Well work is currently being done on my parents house so this past Friday i spent the night at Sarahs house. As soon as I come over Ally is super excited for whatever reason. She gives me another low effort drawing of all of us playing together and ofc I pretend to love it. After I take my sweater off cause it’s 1000 degrees at their place, Ally lectures me about how my top is inappropriate. I says she’s being a prude and she drops the issue. I also made the mistake of wearing a new perfume I got for Christmas. Well upon their mom’s request I hopped in the shower to wash it off. While I was drying off Ally just waltzes right into the bathroom!! Rather than leave immediately she froze up and started making noises and mumbling. I literally had to push her out of the bathroom!! I confronted her afterwards and all she did was continue to mumble incoherently. I obviously got pissed and started yelling at her. She broke down crying and ran off. She avoided me the rest of the weekend and it was pretty awesome. I told Sarah what happened and she said i totally overreacted. Sarah said that her sister obviously didn’t mean anything bad and that I should be more understanding. Ally must’ve told her mom what happened later after I left because this morning Sarah said her mom doesn’t want me coming over for awhile. I feel bad for making Ally cry but at the same time I’m not sure what I should’ve done differently.

AITA for making my friend’s sister cry?

YTA

10vbtb5

I (21F) live with Gina (22F) and Belle (19F). Belle moved in two weeks ago due to problems with the room she was renting at the time and was moved to a unit of equal value that had availability, which ended up being the extra room in mine and Gina’s unit. Belle is sweet, tidy, quiet, and all around a nice roommate so far, but apparently I upset her the other day. Here’s what happened.For some context, I work at a chain thrift store in the town I live in. Despite it not being the only thrift store here, it’s the most popular, so I stay pretty busy. I work 8:30-5:00, typically 5 days a week, sometimes 6. When Belle moved in, we all introduced ourselves to each other and discussed where we worked and what we were studying in college (or what I used to study, in my case, as I no longer attend). Belle asked if I ever found anything good while working and I said yes, and then she asked if I donated myself, to which I said yes as well. I cleaned my closet and donated a LOT of clothes back in the fall. I still take a couple things now and then. Last Thursday night, Belle came to me with a couple shoe boxes and asked if I could take them to work with me in the morning. I honestly didn’t want to. I asked why she couldn’t take them, and she said she’s too busy during the day with classes and her job to come by. I tried to be polite and told her if she can’t bring them while we’re open, we have an easily accessible chute for after hours donations that she can put stuff into at any time of the day during any day of the week. She replied that she’d probably just forget whenever she actually had the time and said “it’s just a couple bags plus these shoes. I can help you put them in your car now if you want.” At this point I’m getting more frustrated, and I remind her we have the after hours chute that she can use. I then add that Fridays (the next day) are the busiest of the entire week and that my manager probably wouldn’t appreciate me bringing my own donations. Belle insists it won’t be a big deal and that I can just tell my boss it’s hers and not mine, and I tell her I think it would be better if she took it herself. She once again said she didn’t have time, and I said “maybe you should make time, then”. Belle said “uh, fine, okay,” and went back into her room. I haven’t seen her since, and the next afternoon when I saw Gina in the kitchen she asked me if I’d done anything to piss Belle off because she apparently heard her talking angrily on the phone and saying my name. It’s Monday now and I still haven’t seen anything of Belle and her donated clothes were sitting next to the door this morning where we usually out boxes for the dumpster and stuff. I don’t know, was I the AH here?***Edit- one other thing I told her that I had to remove bc of character count was that my boss had specifically told us if we’re gonna bring our own hauls or donations for friends to not do so on Friday and Saturday bc they’re such busy days for us. My boss would have been legitimately upset with me and it could have put me in bad standing or gotten me into trouble and Belle still insisted I take the donations Friday and that “my boss won’t care”.Edit 2- Just want to answer some questions/clarify things that keep coming up, some of which I covered in the post originally but had to cut out due to the character limit.“Why didn’t you want to take her donations” I don’t want to become responsible or expected to take Belle’s things whenever she wants me to just because “I’m already going there.” I don’t mind the occasional thing or two, but she was giving me a legitimate haul consisting of two boxes of sneakers and two fifteen gallon trash bags of clothes that were very heavy when I tried to lift one to check.“Why not just keep them in your car until Monday if you couldn’t bring them in on Friday/Saturday?” Her donations took up the remainder of the room inside my car, and I needed that room for my groceries. I go shopping for food and household needs on weekends after I get paid. My car is a mess, which is something I need to take care of, but it’s honestly hard to find the energy on Sundays when I’m just trying to get my laundry/food prep done and recover from the week I just worked. “Why do you think taking Belle’s clothes one time is going to turn into a trend?” I have had people do it to me before and I’m not keen on having it happen again. People have taken advantage of my kindness my whole life and it’s very draining to feel like you can never say no to people regardless of what it is and be punished when you don’t want to take on responsibilities for others. It’s also something that Belle and I already have a problem with, as she expects me to practically write her papers for her at this point. I told her when she moved in that I used to be an English major, and she was quick to request my help with an essay. I honestly despise essays and research papers (I’m more into literature analysis and creative writing) but I’m very good with grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc, which were the things Belle said she had major problems with. While helping her with the first paper, any sentences I told her that needed to be reworded she asked that I rewrite them myself. I gave her some corrected examples, but she continued to request that I just “do it for her since I’m better at it.” I tried to be as nice as I could while telling her the best way to get better is if she practices herself. She didn’t seem happy with that but she went along with it. The next paper she asked for help with, only three days after that first one, she asked if I would write her thesis for her because she “just couldn’t figure it out.” I tried to give her some examples, but she once again requested I do the work for her and allow her to take credit. She also asked afterwords if I would go in and out her citations in the right place and format for her. I made up an excuse for being busy and left. I don’t mind helping, but I didn’t get an apartment with roommates so I could do someone’s homework for them. Because of the way this turned out, I expected the same kind of issue with taking her donations.“Why doesn’t your manager want you bringing in donations on Fridays/Saturdays? Doesn’t she want more business?” To be quite honest, I don’t exactly know why she’s pretty much banned the employees bringing donations on Friday and Saturday. I would assume that her thinking is if she allows us to bring a couple things, it will slowly turn into more and more. But as far as business, like I said, Friday is our busiest day. We get more business than we can handle. This issue is, it’s all in the front, because we don’t make money while processing the donations. We only make money of what we can tag and put out, which is far less than what we actually receive in. People often donate literal trash, objects or clothes damaged beyond what we’re allowed to sell, or items we can’t legally sell and have to then legally break down and dispose of, which takes a lot of time and effort. Because of this, we have one employee that works the front and deals with all of the customers and transactions, and the rest of us have to be in the back processing, pricing, and putting out inventory as well as disposing of unsellable and hazardous materials. We almost always end up with more donations to process than we can handle, and have things leftover from Friday that we have to process on Saturday, which is also very busy. If we finish everything by the end of Saturday, we often come in on Monday to the back door, loading dock, and chute overflowing with donations, and often times they are also strewn about by people who have shown up to pick through things and go through our dumpster. Its busy, it’s fast paced, and it’s exhausting.“It sounds like you don’t like this job. Why don’t you quit?” If I quit right now I would be homeless before I could manage to get another job. I put in countless apps across a three month period and had only three places get back to me. The job market is hell right now and I can’t quit until I have another job lined up.

AITA For Telling My Roommate She Needs To “Make Time”?

YTA

10ve4u1

The spouse and I are both in the STEM fields, in our mid-30's, and both work fulltime in a location geographically far away from both our families. His employement is his PhD, whereas I am the breadwinner and already have my PhD, so I know what he is going through. I will be taking maternity leave when our second child is born in the coming weeks and parenting our 2 y/o. Because of my age, I am advised to be induced and have the baby a week early out of an abundance of caution. If I am not induced, the due date is the same week as he is slated to travel for a conference where he is to give a technical presentation, not even for a publication. The Spouse has refused to move or alter his travel plans and has stated he is not comfortable with me asking anyone in our families to come help as that would create familial favoritism. I am supposed to rely on our local friend support networ to help with the neborn and toddler in his opinion. He has also flat out refused to ask his Advisor to present the slides for him, even though he will already be in attendance at the conference. The spouse has conceded to not travel the whole week and attend the entire conference since I am supposed to give birth that week, but will instead be gone less than 48 hours. I have told him I will not be dropping him off/picking him up at the airport 3 hours away since we will likely have two kids at that point. And once he comes home, he will have to wear a mask in the house because of the newborn until he can perform a test 5 days after his return. AITA for telling him he should prioritize his family's health and safety here over a conference without any publication?

AITA for telling husband to stay away a week after a birth because of travel

NTA

10vfupf

My fiancee and I are engaged and planning a wedding. We wanted to elope originally but due to lots of pressure from friends who's wedding we've been to, we've decided maybe just a small wedding with our closest friends and immediate family. For context I have a very large extended family (20+ cousins, half of whom have kids of their own) while my fiancee has one cousin she doesn't keep in touch with and all of our grandparents are no longer around. My older sister got married in 2021 and originally wanted to do a kid free wedding but got so much pressure she relented and allowed kids that were cousins or cousins' kids. She immediately regretted it as this added a ton of money to the cost and two babies were crying throughout the ceremony. Due to all the extended family invites, she and her now husband had to really limit their friends that could go. Im not close to any of my cousins except for maybe one. I was thinking Id just invite him or maybe not even him and we'd then just do our immediate family and friends and have about a 50 people. With adding my extended fam + spouses + their kids we'd be over 100 people. I told my family this as a plan and my sister called it genius yet my mom freaked TF out. Saying how she's talked so much with her siblings about our wedding and how excited they are all for. I told her that wasnt me who told them about it, and we are paying for it ourself, but she still insists it will alienate us from the family forever. I told her thats fine, we dont really keep in touch anyway but she still freaks out. WIBTA if I stick to my guns and just keep it to people Im close with, which wouldn't include any extended family except maybe one? I told that cousin and he said he wouldn't blame me at all if I had to cut him to keep it consistent, Id rather not but thats an option as well.

WIBTA if I dont invite extended family to my wedding?

NTA

10vfpr2

Context: one of my best friends (We’ll call him Riley) is in the Army. He’s currently deployed and is an officer. He’s extraordinarily busy, under a great deal of pressure and is just trying to keep himself alive/sane.He has a girlfriend (we’ll call her Crystal)Now, they’ve been on and off again for a number of years now, truth be told I don’t really like Crystal all that much but she’s not a bad person… they’re just bad for each other.Having served and deployed myself (while also in a relationship at the time) I know almost exactly what it’s like to be in Riley’s shoes.Crystal and my ex have been pretty good friends so in the past couple months she’s talked to me/helped give me some closure with my ex and I’m appreciative of that.I’ve offered relationship advice to both Crystal and Riley numerous times before and I’ve been there to listen to either of them vent about their BS.Few nights back, Crystal messages me saying she’s worried she screwed up their relationship, he wasn’t replying to her, etc. she was dying to know what she’d done wrong. Considering she’d already more or less done the same for me with my ex (cause she won’t talk to me) I decided to do what I could to help.Without outwardly prying, I did ask Riley what was going on/bothering him. He told me this and that about what Crystal would do or say to annoy/piss him off and drive that wedge between the two of them.He told me he’s already said all the same stuff to her before.So, I relayed it to Crystal, told her “hey man, he’s basically telling me the same shit he’s already told you.”Flash forward a few days when Crystal’s talking with my ex about it, and upon finding out I told Crystal what Riley said to me about her, she said I was “a traitor”(To which I promptly sent her a message and laughed saying ‘so now I’m a traitor for trying to help my friend and his gf? That’s cold Brutus, what else ya got?’)Anyway, long story short, despite me listening to Riley’s complaints and passing them onto Crystal and trying to encourage her of what she needed to do to make things work with Riley, they did in fact end up breaking up. But I’m still left wondering, was my ex right? Am I some kinda traitor for what I did?AITA?Personally I don’t 100% feel like I am because if I was dating someone and they wouldn’t talk to me, but their friend would and their friend would tell me exactly what my partner was saying about me to help give me some insight of what I’d done wrong/how I upset them and what I could do to fix it, I know I’d personally be incredibly grateful for it… but I do know at the same time that is still pretty sneaky behavior on the friend’s part to be relating info from one partner to the other.

AITA for telling my friend’s GF the things he’s said about her?

YTA

10veorr

me and my dad have been living on our own for about 3 months now, before we where living with my grandma. she was the one who cleaned and never really cared. I don't like cleaning but i like to have our apt look nice, its also a really nice apt and i want to take care of it.See I clean all the time almost everyday im also not in school right now because i had to live with mom for 7 months and just moved back so i have nothing to do right now.the problem begins that my dad will not clean up after him self. wont do dishes, wont throw away his beer/soda cans and will leave them on the couch, will eat my snacks/ leftovers that i saved for later, wont sweep, leave his trash on the couch or right next to the trash can.when i go to bed at night i make sure everything is picked up at least a little bit but when i wake up in the morning everything is destroyed. the worst part is that i cleaned after my self and only myself for 5 days and the whole kitchen and house was destroyed. he asks me to do stuff like "hey could you do those dishes there is no more forks and i used the last one last night" or just eats my food without asking. i am the one always going shopping or cleaning. it get on my nerves but i cant say anything bc i dont want to be a asshole. AITA???

AITA my dad wont clean after himself?

NTA

10ve0sm

About eight months ago I (22F) started working my first job after uni. There I met my colleague Julia (27F) who really helped me navigate the new job. Most of our coworkers are men in their 40s, which I think is why she took under her wing. About two months ago (at a lunch gathering) she announced that she was pregnant and mentioned wanting to throw a baby shower. She insinuated that we'd all be invited and we casually agreed to come. She spent the next couple of weeks hinting at what she was planning and tbh it was a lot bigger than I expected. She even mentioned two of her cousins flying in from Asia. All of this made me dread the event a bit since I don't do well with big parties. Also I am not used to 'fancy' parties since I'm from a working class background. I'm not sure I'd know how to behave. Still I was planning on going.Last week I received the 'formal' invitation. The invitation mentioned several things that made me uncomfortable and made it so that I really don't want to attend.1. There was no plus one (as far as I can tell all my colleagues got one) even though I've been with my boyfriend for three years (lived with him for two). 2. The location of the shower is a two hour drive away and in the middle of nowhere. I don't have a car and would have to borrow my boyfriends. Tbh, I don't really feel very safe driving outside a city environment and haven't done so in two years. I'm not particularly close to any of my other coworkers (yet) so I'm a bit nervous to ask any of them to drive me since all of them seem to plan to drive there independently. As far as I know none of them live close to where I do either.3. The party has a very strict dress code. Women are supposed to wear 'light pink formal dresses'. I'm a bit of a tomboy and only own one (black) dress that I mostly wear to old/conservative relatives birthday parties. The invite also mentions 'proper' hair and makeup. I honestly haven't worn and don't own any makeup so I'm not really sure what to do. I also always wear my hair in a simple ponytail. Not only do I feel pretty uncomfortable with the idea of wearing all that, I think it's going to be expensive and I really don't have much disposable income at the moment. 4. This is by far the least important part but tbh the fact that there is going to be a 'gender reveal' at the party makes me uncomfortable. I believe that gender is not determined by birth and have several friends who have had to deal with very ignorant parents on the topic. She specifically mentioned to a group of colleagues who asked why she had written that she had a preference for cash gifts it was because she "didn't want to be gifted a bunch of pink clothes and then find out she was having a boy and needing to donate them". She also mentioned some sort of 'price' for guests who guess the gender correctly.So Reddit, would I be the Asshole if I said no to going to the shower (even though I had agreed to it two months ago and she has helped me so much)?

WIBTA for refusing to go to my colleagues baby shower?

NTA

10vbqlq

Hello everyone, I work at the same place as my friend, I started working here 2 years ago and he started about 6 months ago after I recommended him for a position.We work as analysts and we have to follow a certain methodology which, as I have worked longer I know much better. When he had his interview I helped him prepare for it and did a few session on our methodology and how we use it so he knows how to answer the questions, everything went great and he got the job.Now today he told me if I could do the same for a friend of his that he now recommended and help them get the interview they have on Friday. Under normal circumstances I would totally love to do it, the plot twist is that I also recommended my girlfriend for the same position and she also has her interview on Friday. I would have the time to help both of them but I would rather not help someone that would be in direct competition with my girlfriend for the job.I feel like such an asshole for just thinking this. But at the same time if I help my friends friend and they get the job over my girlfriend I would also feel like shit.So I come to this sub for judgement. Would I be the asshole if I refused to help the other person and just prepare my girlfriend for the interview?Edit: Just realized the title implies I run the company or can affect the outcome of the interview. I am just another employee and can not do any of that. It would give a person a huge advantage though to know the way we work.

WIBTA if I refused to help my friend's friend with an interview at our company?

NTA

10vg1mg

Last weekend my friend and I went out for drinks at a bar we go to all the time. The drinks are always good and so we always leave a tip. However, the drinks were really terrible for some reason last weekend. They just tasted awful. So we paid for the drinks we ordered and left. We also didn’t make a scene or anything. We were really nice about it and quietly left. Tipping is completely optional at this bar by the way as it is in most places.But as we were leaving the bar, the bar tender chased us down and confronted us. She demanded to know why we didn’t leave a tip. She told us we should have given her a tip because she offered to give us the drinks for free. Yes she offered but we declined and paid for the drinks anyway. We felt guilty for not liking the drinks because we know how much effort it takes to make each drink. We PAID for every single drink we ordered. We just chose not to leave a tip. Our experience wasn’t a good as the other times. The bar tender made me and my friend so uncomfortable. We have never ever been confronted like that for not leaving a tip. But idk, Im still in shock. AITA for not leaving a tip?

AITA For not leaving a tip?

INFO

10vfa87

Hi, ​My boyfriend lives with me but I pay the rent but he pays for litteraly everything else and so this is good i'm ok with the situation and paying the rent.I'm a student and I also work (I think it's called internship in english).Anyways i've already told my boyfriend that I don't like when he does nothing all day. I know he doesn't have a job but I just don't want him to not do anything... I pushed him to pass his driver's licence which he is doing now and it's a very good thing.I don't care that he doesnt have a job as long as he has plans, even personnal things. It's fine with me as long as he really tries things and that he doesn't "stagnate".​​Today was the first day of my new job because I changed my internship It all went very well and my previous job was very far away from my appartment and I had one and a half hour of public transport so i got back around 7:30 pm and was very tired.Today I was very happy and excited to get back at 5:20 pm and see my boyfriend earlier than usual. When I got back he wasn't there so i was kind of sad and worried because he didnt warn me, so I called a lot of times and he was at his driving lesson so I said ok call me back when you can.He called me a few minutes later when he finished his lesson and said he was coming home, and we hung up. I texted him the grocery shopping list and said that we could go together but then I texted "whatever just get back home we can eat what's left in the fridge", because I wanted him home as soon as possible.He didn't answer anything and I waited for him an hour or more.He then got back with half of the groceries i texted (not even enough for me to cook) and lots of candies and ice cream and said he didn't find the rest (the rest = meet and mushroom. They are easy to find)I started to get angry at him and I went to the kitchen to cook pasta and realized he didn't do the dishes, so I had to cook in a smaller pan and I made a mess.He also didn't do the laundry (the only thing I asked him today).So I screamed everything that I was mad about and I was so angry that I cried. Ifinished cooking and gave him his plate and went to eat alone because I was so mad and he kept coming to speak to me even tho I already told him everything that made me mad and that I just wanted to eat alone. So him not respecting my boundaries also made me so angry. Because I have a hard time controling my anger. So I just wanted alone time to "decompress" and he didn't let me.I think he didn't even eat what i cooked and he went alone in the bathroom to let me know he didn'tfeel good.I feel so mad because I was so happy to finish work early and now I just feel stupid because it didn't change anything. I have a job and he doesn't so he should be able to do things while I'm at work. I'm not asking for a lot of things.I feel bad for letting him eat alone and screaming at him but it felt like a lot after a day of work even if maybe it seems like little things when you read it.

AITA for screaming at my boyfriend and letting him eat alone ?

ESH

10vcspw

My boyfriend (31M) and I (26 F) have been together for 3 years. My boyfriend has a dog, a small Pinscher, Gina, whom he got a little before we started dating, when she was around 3. She is a rescue, had a history of abuse and is very easily stressed. To get her to be sociable, he did his best to train her. She couldn't even walk without freezing up when she heard sharp sounds (even the sound of her own leash scared her) so my boyfriend carried her in his lap, calmed her down and started over. She is now very happy and very sociable both with dogs and other humans. Gina can now be trusted to be alone for longer hours (his regular working hours) without concerns for her psychological and physical well being, or worries she might make a mess or stress-chew on furniture. However, she is still a somewhat anxious dog who needs attention. Gina eats twice per day, once at 9am and next at 8 pm. She usually gets 2 walks per day, but it's not uncommon for her to go out for a third time.Yesterday, my boyfriend and I left his house at around 2:30 pm. We don't live together, but I have keys to his apartment. He was going to a friend's house, three minutes from his own (literally two streets down) to help a friend with some chores. I was also visiting a friend and later headed back to my own place.We texted in between the day. He also texted me around midnight, when he was about to go home. Surprised, I asked him if he had gone home to feed his dog and take her out for her walk. He said he hadn't. I was astounded and kind of mad, it seemed very insensitive to me, but didn't say anything other than that if he was really busy, he could have called me and asked me to go. He said I was right but he was getting home soon. I didn't reply to him, so he kept texting me telling me that she was fine, he had given her more food to compensate and that he was taking her on a big walk. I didn't say anything else, but I just keep thinking about her alone in the apartment, hungry and waiting. I guess this isn't a huge waiting time (4 hours later than her usual time of dinner)and it might not be my place as I am not myself a dog owner, but it just bugs me that he was literally three minutes away and didn't bother to check up on his dog for 10 hours straight, without a huge obligation weighing on him.WIBTA if I told him off about leaving his dog waiting?

WIBTA if i told off my boyfriend for the way he acted towards his dog?

YWBTA

10vcqgx

I (15m) bought an oculus quest 2 64gb model with my own money that I got through doing chores. Now some things to note my brother (12m) is extremely destructive and has an extremely high kill count of electronics.I am extremely frustrated and tired of repairing damages to the oculus. I do admit I probably have a bit of an attachment to it because it helps through some very dark times in my life. I have spent over 300 dollars just to replace things in the headset of course because he's my brother and he doesn't have to pay anything for repairs. He's gone through about 4 controllers 70 dollars each. That I have to replace by spending months earning money just to pay for one. And because he doesn't actually have to pay for anything he's reckless hell bash the headset and controllers on the ground and cry if he loses a game or whatever. Worst of all he just sits on hundreds of dollars because my parents make me pay for the things he does. Tldr kid bashes vr headset against the ground if he loses parents make me pay for repairs

WIBTA if I stop letting my little brother stop playing with my oculus

NTA

10vf581

My fiancé and I have been engaged for a year and a half and haven’t even set a date yet. Neither of us ever dreamed of a big wedding and we both don’t want to spend an obscene amount of money on one day in our lives. Since getting engaged, we’ve bought 2 houses, and are going on our 2nd international trip in a few months. That’s what we’ve spent our money on instead of a wedding. Now we’re getting to the point of wanting to have a baby. I won’t have kids until we’re married. We’re planning an elopement/destination wedding in June of 2024 but at this point I just want to be his wife. We’ve been talking about getting married at the courthouse in the near future to make it official, and then planning the celebration for later.I confessed this to my mother-in-law this morning and she immediately started crying and told me how upset and hurt she’d be if we didn’t let her come to the courthouse with us. She tends to have a flair for the dramatic but on this issue I’m absolutely positive I’d never hear the end of it. My relationship with her was pretty strained at the beginning of my fiancé and I’s relationship, and it’s better now, and I don’t want to ruin that. But I also am a very private person. I want to marry my husband and I believe that with something as simple as a courthouse ceremony, I want this to be between he and I and no one else. I don’t even want the destination ceremony/reception at all, but that’s a compromise I’m willing to make for our family and friends. AITA?ETA: I would not be inviting my mother either. My fiancé doesn’t care whether his mom is there or not. She is very clingy to him and he has had to set some new boundaries in recent years. (She used to call him almost daily and ask him to come to her house to do menial tasks. I’m talking taking the trash out, carrying her laundry upstairs, singing into Hulu for her, etc)

AITA for not wanting my mother-in-law at my courthouse wedding

NTA

10veg4i

A few months ago I (30f) got engaged. I’m in grad school so I don’t have a lot of free time except between semesters. I sent out so dates that I am available to me and my fiancés (32m) immediate family. I reached out to my sister (34) separately, about a week ago, and she said that she is “free every weekend except the middle of February.” My mom (58) said that only one date worked for her and my fiancés family said they didn’t care they just wanted to celebrate us. This passed Saturday my mom picked a date and we called and made reservations and we were all super excited to finally celebrate all of our families coming together and meeting for the first time. Sunday, my sister sent out a group text saying she was going out of town to pick up the crib for her baby (she is due in late September) and won’t be back until mid April. She said it’s still “up for debate” and “unsure of details” since her husbands (38) mom (61) hasn’t made any concrete plans to come up the weekend of our planned engagement dinner. I told my sister it would mean a lot if she was there because our families have never met and if she could go another weekend. My mom texted me separately saying I need to change the date and that I was being “rigid” since I only said I could do one day. I said it’s fine if my sister can’t come it’s just weird that she was free until the final plan came out that now she can’t.I said that I can’t change the plans now because 1. We already made reservations (for a big group, which is already hard as it is). 2. Everyone the day before was in agreement with the date. And 3. Is it really important to get the crib in April when the baby isn’t due until September (this may be where I am the AH- or any part since brides can be AH)Also side story, my fiancé told my sister when he was going to propose and the day before he did, she told my parents that she was pregnant - which I didn’t think much of at the time but my friends all think she’s the AH for not waiting since she was aware of the date of the engagement. I’m still unsure since you never know when you’re going to be pregnant if you’re trying and it’s very exciting. (Edited for typo)AITA?

AITA for not changing the date of my engagement dinner

NTA

10ve8jp

I (22F) took my (ex)friend (21F) to an inpatient program in October of 2021 and it has completely blown up in my face. For context, this person, who we will call Karol, lives with two roommates she hates. When I say hate, I mean when she cries, she has to cry by the dumpsters because if she cries in her apartment, her roommates will make fun of her for being a crybaby. I set her up in a private room at my work because she didn’t want her roommates to hear her talk about them in therapy.In October, she broke it off with her girlfriend(20F) of two months who I am also close to. It was a very mutual break up as Karol couldn’t provide this ex enough time or energy due to her mental health. She’s complained about living with her roommates for as long as I have known her and I could compile a series of books of just the texts she has sent me about them. Karol’s mental health was getting more worrisome and texted me that she felt that she would be “better off dead.” Personally, I’ve had family with extensive history in inpatient psychiatric care and I’m not the biggest fan of those systems, but I was really worried. I talked to her ex about this and she was also worried and agreed that I should bring up inpatient care. I had Karol come to my office and I explained inpatient and outpatient programs and where they would be and what they would do. After some discussion, we went to her apartment and grabbed some stuff and left for an inpatient program together. After, Anna sent me a long DM about how I “conspired with her ex gf to put her in the mental hospital” and I just blocked her.Months later (February), her roommate Anna, is in one of my classes and although it’s definitely weird, I just let it be. I think we may have made eye contact like once or twice accidentally. Three weeks into the semester, she walks by my seat and says “you left something at our apartment a while ago” and gives me a piece of paper. Being the gullible idiot I am, I take it and say “thank you” because it was kind of her to give it back to me. It was the hospital bill for Karol’s stay. Also, again Karol does not pay any bills or have any way of making her own money and exclusively uses her parents’ money so she wouldn’t even be responsible for paying the bill. Because it was the beginning of class, I just turned around and told Anna “you’re funny” and she responded “well, you’re the one who forced her to go there.” Mind you, she could have been involuntarily admitted. I could’ve called 911 after that message, but we went together on public transit after picking up her stuff from her apartment. Honestly, I am just in disbelief at this situation. If anything, that was one of the hardest weeks of my life and I am willing to put it behind me. For Anna and Karol to not only come up with this insane theory that I forced Karol to go to the hospital in an effort to get her and her ex back together but also to keep it up for so long and harass me with it in class? AITA?

AITA for taking my mentally ill friend to the mental hospital?

NTA

10vdsqq

So, I live in the eighth floor and fyi my hallway always smells like weed. And I smoke but what I do sometimes when it’s cold I would open up my window and puff it outside so the smell won’t be stuck at my place. The neighbor who lives a floor above me had her window opened and smelled it and started yelling. I didn’t apologize or said am sorry for the inconvenience but I said instead of yelling you can just go ahead and make a complaint about me in the leasing office because I didn’t want to engage in a verbal argument. See all I think is sometimes the vent brings some smells or even when I have my windows open I can smell someone else’s cooking and I may not like it but I just end up closing my window. Do you guys think I should of apologized?

AITA for telling my neighbor he can go and make a complaint directly about me smoking out my window?

YTA

10vd75z

Here’s some background before the meat: I (28F) have been friends with my (29F) best friend since middle school, so for 14 years. We’ve been tight up until she got married but still kept a good report with each other. I began dating her brother after she set us up on several dates. During Covid my then bf, now husband, lost his job and since I was the only one working, my friend felt bad and asked for us to live with her. While living there, my husband and I got into a heated argument that resulted in his sister kicking him out. She noticed she lost her jewelry and thought she left it in her brothers car. She tells him that he owes her money for the jewelry if he can’t find it in his car. I had then told her my plans of leaving to go live with my mom and she started treating me really bad by ignoring me because she felt I should stay with her instead of my mom. I never told her that I got back with my husband as soon as it happened and wanted to tell her when I was ready. Well, two months after leaving, she found out that I was moving back with my husband. She was angry and said I owe her money for her jewelry and I kindly told her I don’t believe I’m responsible since I’m not the one who left it laying around for it be lost in the first place. She told me she loved me while telling me that I was taking advantage of her kindness and how to manage my money in order to pay her back. I told her that I don’t agree with anything she’s saying nor do I owe her money just because she says I do. Since telling her that, she’s blocked me on everything, which I really don’t care about because I believe I didn’t do anything wrong to begin with. I stayed with her 6 months after she kicked him out and not once did she ever bring up me being responsible for her jewelry. Am I the asshole for telling her that I don’t owe money for her jewelry?

AITA for not giving my friend money for her jewelry?

NTA

10vcwf6

Im (30F) from an extremely religious town, but I live in a city with my sister (25F physically handicapped). My mother (55F) lives in the town and when she separated from my father more than 15 years ago it was traumatic for all of us. My mom's family turned their backs on her for separating from a Catholic marriage just because my father (65M) was unfaithful (sarcasm).We have a somewhat strained relationship because my mother is very religious and Im not. My sister is in the middle. My sister and I dont approve of her new relationship but we respect her. My mother's boyfriend (48M) has been with her for 7 years. He is different than my father, as he is not educated, has no steady job and has two children from prev marriage. He is very religious, drops ignorant and conservative comments. My mother loves him and doesnt understand that his attitudes are not welcomed by us, she says that we cant understand him.Today my mother gathered my sister and me to ask us, if we would be okay with her marrying her boyfriend. She says that living out of wedlock, her morality does not allow her to take communion and that emotionally she feels very bad about not doing so. The options the priest gave her were to marry or break up with her boyfriend. My sister burst into tears, said she completely disagreed with the marriage, she fears that the same thing will happen again as during the divorce with my father. My mother suffered a lot during the divorce, financial uncertainty, therapy, a physical fight, depression, all the pack.I told her that I didn't think it was sufficient justification for not being able to receive communion, the fact is that she wants to get married. I didn't agree, but I understood if she got married anyway, she is older and deserves to be happy in a relationship. I told her that whether she marries or not, my only condition for supporting her is to guarantee that she will legally maintain her finances apart from her boyfriend, she needs to guarantee a secure and comfortable old age, I do not want her boyfriend to take away the business she has built and her house.She told me that if I was worried about my inheritance. I am legally responsible for my sister because of her disability, so all the inheritance would be handled by me. I told her that I was not interested in her money or the inheritance, I have my own business, my own home (fully adapted for my sister's disability) and I support my sister. In the event of my mother's death, I would invest the money for my sister's future (as her disease is degenerative) and manage the two businesses. If my sister wants she can keep my mother's business or sell it.She cried too and said it wasn't fair that she had to choose between her religion, family or her partner and that I was very insensitive like my father. I told her that my feelings doesnt matter in the decision and that we were not going to turn our backs on her as a family.AITA for say to my mom that im not agree her new marriged?

AITA for not agree with my mother new marriged?

YTA

10vg2n4

My sister was a total tomboy growing up which caused a lot of problems with our parents in particular our dad. I think he always wanted a girly girl and she was like a boy in every way except biologically. They didn’t have a good relationship and fought all the time. Our dad would make remarks about her not taking care of her appearance and running around all day and tanning dark in the process. My room was directly next to the living room and I would listen to my parents complaining to each other about my sister’s future and how no one would want to marry her because she’s nothing like a girl. Then my sister wanted to be geologist like my dad and wanted to study geology in uni. She always loved rocks and collected rocks growing up. Our dad told her geologists got laid off all the time and the pay sucked to try to get her to choose something else. She was convinced to do teaching probably because it was a female profession but after first year she dropped out because she HATED it. Then she took a year off and got involved with a tech start up. Loved it and went back to university to do a degree in compute science. Our parents told her they would pay for the year of the education degree she did but they wouldn’t pay for the compute science degree because they had some financial problems.A year after she graduated I started a degree in geology and our parents said they would pay for my entire degree. This is a few months after they told her they couldn’t pay for her degree so she had to pay off her loans herself. I knew it was probably because they didn’t like her profession but didn’t say anything until she asked. She did probably because she the same suspicions as me. Our parents always said we were guaranteed our undergrad paid for and as soon as she did a computer science degree they go back on their word? Lots of stuff happened but long story short they fought about it for a while until my sister told them she will never talk to them again and cut her out of their lives. My mom knew I told her because no one else knows that thinks I’m intentionally ruining their relationship. But they never took her threat seriously until she got engaged and I got a invite to my sister’s wedding and they didn’t. AITA for telling my sister I am getting college paid for and she isn’t probably because she’s doing a degree they didn’t want her to?

AITA for telling my sister I am getting college paid for while she isn’t?

NTA

10vfvv9

So this happens at home and at work. Minor thing but it does irk me. Trying to use a microwave at home or work when I notice it's not responding to my timer input. I look and notice someone had left a few seconds on the timer and removed their food without resetting the timer. At work and at home, one or two will not reset it because they hate the beeping sound, but it's ok for me to reset it each time? I guess it's really the whole returning the shopping cart thing.Am I the asshole?

AITA for thinking people should use the clear button on the microwave?

NAH

10vf0sz

I'm (21F) and my best friend is also (21M) now don't get me wrong he's the most supported person I know, we've been best friends for years. The past 2 years weren't the best for me as things were really going down for me. I couldn't continue my education because of many financial issues, I've been struggling with different jobs but still couldn't make the end meet, there's just loads of debt I need to take care of, so I understand the fact it's his money and he can spend it whatever way he wants, but he doesn't need to send me invoices of everything he buys. I don't get it what's the point. Yes good for you but you literally even need the new one. But then again it's his choice to buy one. I'm not even jealous I'm just so mentally drained. But I feel so guilty whenever I tell him that I'm happy for him but am I happy for him? I feel like a literal fake friends.

AITA for not feeling any kind of emotions whenever my best friend shows off how rich he is?

NTA

10ves99

English isn't my first language. Okay so I'm think I may be the asshole about this one. I (16F) have a little sister who I'll call B (13F). Since I'm the older one, I've always have to do more chores, and have to reach higher grades than B, but it's normal because I'm the oldest. My parents always expect me to act like an adulte. Today, B had a friend over, C (13F). Important thing to say is that when she is in public, B can act like a spoiled little princess, and expect me to do everything for her (it's also like that in private, but in public she is much more disrespectful). So I did all of the houses chores, since my parents were at work and B and I are on vacation, and light up the fire place. I then make lunch for B, C and for me, an after eating, I get to my room to do my homeworks. Before that, I specially go outside to get a couple of logs for B because I asked her to please, watch the fireplace since her and C were going to stay in the living room. But when my father (43M) and mother (44F) got home and I came to say hi, they began to yell at me because the fire was off, and the kitchen was a mess. When I look, I saw that B hasn't use any of the logs that I brought her, and that her and C, who has already left at the time, has baked something (I can't say what it was because it was completely barbecued) and left everything on the kitchen. I then explain to my parents that I did all the chores on the house, that it wasn't me that let the kitchen like that, and that I specifically asked B to watch the fireplace. But it turns out they already knew that and proceed to yell at me for not cleaning after my sister, and expecting her to clean. When I say that it wasn't fair at all and that I literally did everything while she was with her friends watching TV, they got even more mad and told me that since I'm the oldest it's my job, and that I was being an ingratefull and spoiled little brat. They say they expect me to apologize to B for asking her to watch the fireplace, and give up my phone and computer for two weeks as punishment. Then I snaped and told them to fuck off, that they were completely unfair toward me, and that if they expect me to be a babysitter to B and her friends, then they must pay me to do it. I then rush to my room and called my uncle (25M dad's little brother), who came and take me to his place, where I am currently. Since I'm with him, I got nasty text for all my maternal family, saying that I'm a spoiled little bitch who act entitled even though I wasn't a wanted child (words of my grandmother). My paternal grandparents are one my side, so are my uncle and a bunch of friends my parents text to "let them know about how childish I was". My sister text me too, saying I was being a stubborn asshole and that if I can get over myself, then I would be more loved.I'm in the guest room of my uncle's place and I can't sleep because of that so please Reddit, IATA?

AITA for saying my parents that if they expect me to act as a babysitter, they have to pay me?

NTA

10vefo1

So I (31F) live with my mom and my daughter (4F) lives with us too. My daughter tends to hop into bed with my mom every evening which she does not mind. She dotes on her granddaughter. This evening, I was busy drying my hair in the next room and just about switched the hairdryer off to hear my daughter, paging through a book and “telling a story”. Of course, it was not the real story but it was her telling her version of the tale. I got so excited at her enthusiasm and emphasis on each animal, that I tried sneaking in quietly to see her telling a story for the very first time. My mom eyed me first and I saw she was recording a video, and she basically shooed me out the room with her hand. Like, “don’t disturb. Go away!”. I walked out and a couple minutes later, she sent me the videos of my daughter reading. I then confronted her and said it wasn’t really nice, I’d have loved to see her tell the story for the very first time. My mom recorded this because it really was a first for my daughter, and as a mom, every little moment counts :). My mom then sighed and got annoyed at the confrontation and I asked her not to sigh because this was genuinely something I wanted to witness with my own eyes rather than a video. I do know that this moment will surely happen again, but my mom became a bit of a bitch, acting as if I’m fucking crazy for saying I really wanted to see this, and me physically seeing this would have been special to me and more important than her video. It was almost like “wtf are you on about? It’s nothing”. AITA? Or was I wrong? This is really bothering me.

AITA: My Mom Made me Miss my Daughter’s first story

NTA

10ved86

My (27) wife and I are celebrating our five year anniversary tonight and we made reservations to do a super fun activity like three months ago. We have a 12 week old daughter for whom we needed to find a babysitter for the time we would be out; 6:45pm - 11:30pm. As it turns out all of our usual babysitters are out of town tonight so I reached out to my older sister (35) to ask if we can leave our baby daughter by her house for that time. I said that she is generally a well behaved baby but there is no guarantee that shell be asleep by 10pm which is my sister's usual bedtime. Add to this that my sister and her husband have four sons ranging between the ages of 16yo - 4yo and she is currently pregnant with her fifth child and she is in her ninth month.By way of background, throughout all of the years my sister had her children and I was not yet married I was always available to help her out with her kids. I picked them up from school and sitter more times than I can remember. I came over to tutor them in math and help them with their school work. I babysat them at nights and on three separate occasions. I actually moved into her house for a few days at a shot. I even moved into their house once with my 6 month old son (he's 2 now).All the while we never complained and we were happy to do it because family is family. At the same time, my sister did not have many opportunities to reciprocate because my needs were always so much less than hers. I used her netflix account for years and I would often come visit her house when I needed a place to relax. I put my son to sleep by her twice over the last year and she picked my son up from daycare once. I am not trying to be tit for tat but I just want to paint a picture about how this relationship has worked. We are very close.So back to my story, I ask her if I can leave my 12 week old daughter with her and she tells me in no uncertain terms (but very nicely) "I need my sleep so if you want to leave her here until 10:00 you can." I passive aggressively responded to her "most babies are born sleep trained and go to sleep at around 10:00 so you having a baby soon won't pose any problem for you." She got upset with me and told me I was making her feel bad that she needed sleep. I responded that given how much I had done for her over the years I was hurt that she couldn't give up an extra hour and half of her sleep to help me out even though she is in her ninth month.She wants me to apologize but I think I did nothing wrong. AITA???

AITA for making a nasty comment to my sister when she refused to babysit my daughter?

YTA

10vdqt6

Hi there Reddit so last Saturday (the 4th) I was out at my school, and my and my former best friend have some drama going on at the moment, I won’t get into that to spare you guys but basically she replaced me.so I (15 trans masc) and my replacement let’s call her Lexi(15 female) were sitting next to each other in the theater because there was no other seats to sit in. Here’s some background information, my former friend was there on stage at the time, they got nervous and step down from the stage, and they don’t want me texting them but I wanted to make sure that they were okay and whatnot. So I did and I’m pretty sure that they left to go home after stepping away from the stage but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.so as I already said, I was sitting next to Lexi she was talking to one of her friends saying stuff like “I just got second hand embarrassment“ and that my former friend was a “horrible singer“ it was just back and fourth non stop shit talk about my former friend, and now I feel really bad for being nosy and stuff and my friends that I told are calling me an asswholehelp me Reddit, am I the asswhole?

AITA for looking over my replacements shoulder and reading her text message conversations?

YTA

10vdp2s

I (37f) just married my husband, Jushin (39m) in November. We had been together 10 years before he proposed and decided that an expensive wedding wouldn't make sense.My (ex)best-friend (37f), Gracie and her husband, Khaden (39m), accepted being part of the bridal party. They had been having their own financial issues for some time, and she had come to me here and there for loans, but I did not mind or care, because she was my best friend and I felt she deserved the world.My (then) fiancé had been hanging out at our place with Gracie's husband one day, and Khaden asked and said some things about our financial situation. Things like, we probably would not be able to afford our new home if something happened to our jobs and that we had jumped into living at our new place too soon. He also bragged about being able to save money because his rent was in the low hundreds. He later also asked Jushin if he had cheated on me at any point, to which Jushin said, "No". Khaden kept pushing by saying, "Well, you know I wouldn't care if you did, right?" Jushin still said he had never cheated, and the matter was dropped. When my fiancé spoke to me later, he asked if I had put Khaden up to the task of testing him, and I vehemently denied even knowing what he was talking about. When he explained, I got upset, but we decided to leave it alone for the time being.Leading up to the wedding, Gracie was a great bridesmaid. She was there for each event and went out of her way to help decorate. Everything was great.The bridesmaids dresses were fairly cheap, and she was able to purchase one for herself. The suits for the groomsmen, were a little bit more expensive, but the guys were able to pay for them in installments. The issue began when Jushin had found out from the suit tailor that Khaden had not even gone to get measured and we were two weeks away from the wedding. This made Jushin upset, but he reached out to Khaden, who said he would take care of it. I decided to reach out to Gracie to ask her what was going on, and she said that she would set up the appointment, but Khaden later came back with a text (not a call) laying out all the things he had had to pay for saying that he wouldn't have the money until that Friday, but it wasn't guaranteed. My fiancé was confused by this, but asked Khaden to keep him posted.When I spoke to Gracie, she confronted me saying that Jushin and I should have known that Khaden was asking for help financially. Nowhere in the text did he ask for help. She was upset with us and explained that their finances were a sensitive topic and that we should have understood what he needed. I was confused by this because he had just been talking about how well he was doing. This conversation went on for hours, and I told her that I would lend her the money.AITA for not telling my (ex) best friend that her husband is an a\*\*hole?ETA: Just before the wedding day, at a group meeting, Jushin was discussing his stress with another groomsman, to which Khaden said that he should relax. Jushin cussed at Khaden saying that he was only adding to his stress over the effing suit. Jushin then realized that Khaden's boys were playing nearby, and he apologized for swearing. Khaden said it was alright, but later sent a long text (no call) about feeling disrespected and needing to hold his tongue. Jushin tried to call Khaden to apologize, but he ignored him for two days.When I spoke to Gracie about it, I apologized for Jushin's swearing and said it was inappropriate, but Khaden wouldn't even speak to him. Gracie said that Khaden was in pain and could not talk. WHAT? I believed it was a cop out, but I left it, and the guys decided that they would leave well enough alone.Day of the wedding, everything goes well, until after reception time. The Master of Ceremony spoke to some of the wedding party, asking how they knew the bride and groom, and Khaden's answer was, "I don't know them, and I don't know why I'm here." She told us about his answer and I was hurt. I thought to talk to Gracie about it, but decided it wasn't the day. I just briefly explained to her that I think we should have a talk about something that the MC told us.The day after the wedding, one of my bridesmaids, Holly, told me that Khaden had been talking to her best friend, Kara, and he had told Kara that he and Gracie were actually divorced and that he regretted having children. He also messaged her the day after the wedding, asking her to hang out. I did not want to be involved in the foolishness, especially since I believed that Gracie was going to believe and defend Khaden no matter what he said, and I would be seen as the hating friend who was trying to break them up.Fast forward to the day after Jushin and I returned from our honeymoon, I reach out to Gracie and she asks me what happened after the wedding. She explained that she had been looking for Khaden during the wedding and found him talking to another girl in her car. I did not want to tell her what I had heard, but she pulled it out of me. She was upset that I had not told her, but I explained to her that I did not want to be involved and that she was going to defend Khaden no matter what. She was more upset with me than with the person causing all of the drama.

AITA for not telling my best friend that her husband is an a-hole?

NTA

10vdny6

I'll try to keep this as concise as possible because character limit. Any questions I will answer.So our main DM who I'll call V (18M), has invented a new way to play the game, called "small-shots". Basically, it's a series of small one-shots that functions as a campaign where anyone can play and anyone can DM. Imagine a huge campaign divided in 2-hour long games; a player can participate if they want to, just as how they can chose not to, and nothing will change. Think it as being individual missions published in a mission board: Any adventurer can take them up or they can pass. Everything is happening in the same world, so there's continuity in every mission. In this game mode, you as a player can have more than one character you can use for the small-shots (for clarification, you can only take one at a time).So, back on theme. V's girlfriend, M, has been playing with us for a bit over a year, and logically has amassed a good amount of characters for herself. In our DnD group, there's a good amount of artists, including me and our DM, and I'd say M is one of the most experienced ones, so it's no surprise that M came up with the designs and drew all of her characters herself.This takes us to the situation at hand. We were hanging out and talking about DnD with V, M, and two other DnD players, N and Z. M bought up that she had been working in a new character and that she finally did a drawing of her. She then pulled out her phone to show us, and let me tell you, this character looked EXACTLY like this other somewhat popular videogame character. I mean, it was basically a ripoff. Something to highlight is that it was definitely her drawing, and it WAS a very good drawing, there's no denying that. However, the design was the one that called my attention. I mean, the clothes were different, it was completely her design and i can accept that, the hairstyle was slightly changed as well as the colors, but everything else was exactly like this other character. So I said "But that's just the character from "X" videogame!". M kinda laughed it off but I insisted that everything was exactly like this other character, because I mean it's true. Then N and Z changed the subject and we left it at that. The day after, V contacted me and tore me a new one saying that I acted like a dick and that I was out of line being so insistent. M puts a lot of effort in all of her characters and this new one she's been working on for months; she's mentioning completely changing her design now because she feels its not original enough.Now I agree that she comes up with amazing concepts and designs. Her first ever DnD character is a Spirits Bard that's a runaway messiah of his own religion who's chained to thousand of restless spirits and his design is one of the coolest I've ever seen. However, this new character just wasn't it. AITA in this situation??

AITA for telling a player her DnD character looks like another videogame character?

YTA

10vdesw

Last night I invited some friends over to my apartment and we were playing Tetris loudly. At approximately 10pm my upstairs neighbor called me. I ignored the call because I knew she was calling to complain about the noise, but I told my friends to lower their voices and we stopped playing. Then we started watching the new episode of “the last of us” which ended at around 12 and everyone left. When I woke up I saw she messaged the buildings group chat complaining about loud noises last night saying that I was “blasting my tv until 12”, that my dogs fight and make noise, that my roomate started talking on the phone and singing at 5am, and that she could smell weed coming through her window. I apologized and explained that my roomate works from home as a sales representative from 5am to 1pm and that my dogs sometimes growl while playing (they never fight).I think I’m in the wrong about the weed smell (even though it’s legal here) so I already bought a weed vaporizer to reduce it, and I’m gonna be smoking in a different area of my apartment. Regarding the talking, I told her there is not much my roomate can do, and she said he should close his window and lower his voice. Keep in mind that he doesn’t even talk loud, I’ve heard him answering calls and he just talks in a normal and clear voice. Also, right now it’s summer and we don’t have air conditioning so closing the window is not an option for him.Regarding my dogs I’m not sure what I can do to get them to stop playing and growling. Also, she has a little dog that always barks and cries when left alone, but I’ve never complained about it since it doesn’t bother me much. And I didn’t mention anything about the tv since we were watching the show at volume 20 (which in my tv is just loud enough to understand the show without subtitles).How should I handle the situation? I don’t want to keep giving her reasons to complain, but I only have one tv in my house and don’t know what to do about my dogs.Also, she keeps finding reasons to complain. 4 months ago she texted me saying that her car had a scratch and that it could’ve only been my fault since she parked outside, next to my garage. But in the 3 days her car was parked on the street I only used mine once and I didn’t scratch hers.

AITA for bothering my neighbor

YTA

10vbcg7

Okay so I live in a cold city this winter and I have 2 new roommates, Kait and Tom. Kait (25 F)makes lots of comments about being financially strapped and always looking for ways to save money and recently she pointed out that our gas bill in our apt is high. She suggested that when we turn off the heat when we don’t need it.I (25 M) was a little weary cuz I’ve lived in colder places where pipes will freeze if u don’t put the heat on. But I a agreed and make an attempt to turn it off. Also I should mention I’m pretty skinny and often cold.But our other roommate Tom (25 M) is a bigger gentlemen and definitely does not feel the cold as bad as me. But he will create a cross breeze in our apartment by opening his bedroom window (it’s always open) and then opening our living room window. Heat off in our apartment currently and our thermostat says 62 degrees f. but it’s gone down to 57 degrees (with the heat on!) while I was trying to sleep before.I want to respect Kait’s desire to use the heat less but They (and kait leaves windows open to) makes living comfortably difficult without the heat on.

AITA for turning on the heat in my apartment when one of my roommates leaves a window open?

NTA

10vgaer

So my (f30) family is really big. Lots of aunts and uncles, cousins, many blended and steps, and any event with all the family is gonna be 200+ people. My aunt (moms stepsister) decided to throw her dad (my moms dad) a big surprise party for his 80th with all the family invited. He’s not in great health, and we all kind of know he probably won’t be with us much longer. Not sure why she wants it to be a surprise, that sounds like trouble to me, but not my call. The issue here is that they live about 11 hours from me and my family of 6, and my grandfather has made zero ZERO effort to connect with me and my family in years. Growing up I saw him maybe 6-7 times in about 15 years, and the only visit I remember is when his wife slapped me when I was 4 for touching her daughters doll. He and his wife came to my wedding, and even contributed to alcohol costs which was very generous, but didn’t really interact with us, and since haven’t visited, called, texted, nothing. I have reached out multiple times with no response, even expressed an interest in visiting their city and them and wasn’t even given the curtesy of a refusal, just silence. I personally do not want to go to the party. I gave up reaching out, he wasn’t really a grandfather to me growing up, and I’ll be honest, I don’t think I will be too upset when he passes. Cold? Maybe, but it’s the truth. I will, however, be upset for my mom, and I do know me not attending this party with my family will be upsetting for her and other family members. I feel torn, because I love my mama and I don’t want to hurt her, but I have no desire to spend money to go to a party for someone I just don’t really care about. I wouldn’t mind seeing the other out of state family, but it’s almost about the principal of it all. I haven’t really discussed it with anyone yet, I’m still thinking it all through and thought I might benefit from an objective perspective. So WIBTA if I don’t go to this party?

WIBTA if I don’t go to my grandfathers party?

NTA

10vg5p8

​I (17F) have 3 siblings (14M, 11F, and 10M). My siblings and I are pretty close as our parents like to have us spend time together. They are pretty lax on most things but take conflict between us seriously as both grew up with siblings who weren’t nice to say the least + now they are no contact.For many years, every weekend we do a shared event together. This is the one time a week we are “forced” to be together. Our parents say it teaches us about diverse interests.The weekend before last was my 14 y/o bro’s turn to pick an activity, we went golfing on that Saturday. He’s the sporty one so his stuff usually revolves around that. My brother likes golfing + over the past 2 years him and some of his friends have become caddies. My brother also likes inviting his friends on his weekends.My brother is part of the popular 8th graders, one of his friends is Liam. Liam is a nice kid, Liam is also openly gay + quite feminine, he does gymnastics and wears makeup.While we were golfing, the youngest, my 10 y/o bro, made some incredibly rude remarks about Liam’s makeup and posture/mannerisms. My parents had to calm things down and punished him when we got home by taking away his phone and making him apologize.Liam didn’t accept the apology, my parents said my brother is grounded until Liam feels better. The issue is my 14 y/o bro refuses to talk to our younger bro. Yesterday, we were having dinner together + the awkwardness between them was becoming unbearable, so I tried starting a conversation between them. This causes the older bro to say out loud that he hated our younger bro. We do have a family therapist, but haven’t seen him since the golfing incident because he had a medical emergency. My mom + dad are mad at me for for “instigating” my bro + now he refuses to talk to me. AITA?

AITA for encouraging my brother to talk to our other brother?

NTA

10vfjs0

My (38) girlfriend (34) got pregnant after we were together for a year long-distance. We decided to keep it. At first she wanted to give birth in her country but it was important to me our child was born in my country so she eventually agreed.We moved into an apartment together when she was 6m pregnant.The birth was fine, but as soon as the baby was born she got obsessed with the baby, and kind of mean to me - we went immediately into a dead bedroom situation and she would turn down all my advances and make me feel bad if we did have sex. She was critical of me all the time, and really over-protective of the baby. She also would threaten to leave a lot (which is a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder). Then I was in a car accident (baby was fine) and she got really angry and said she didn't trust me and she wanted me to leave. The apartment was in my name so I said she didn't have the right to make me leave. Then she just left! To her country.Every time I called her she just said I could come and see my baby there, or she would come back but living in a separate apartment. We can't afford that anyway. Then two days ago she stopped picking up the phone and just texted the same thing 'you are welcome to visit her here, or we can discuss separate living arrangements there'.So I lawyered up, and am taking her to court for International Child Abduction.My brother says I over-escalated. But I think she is out of her mind and needs to come back home. AITA?

AITA for taking legal action to return my family to me?

YTA

10vfb04

I know that sounds like an obvious no, but here is the back story. I (f30) make more money that my bf(31), I am not sure by how much, due to his fluctuating wkly checks, and I am usually not privy to what those checks are, as I try not to ask. Anywhere from $400-$1000 each week. I make around $135k per year.With that said, we both had some CC debt that we have been trying to catch up on, and I recently got a good amount back on my taxes so I was able to pay close to all of my personal debt off, and then we have a shared CC (under my name) that has about 9K on it, that I plan to focus on, and should be able to get it paid off completely in the next 4 monthsish.We use that card for groceries, some bills, and things we do together. We usually split the payment each month for the shared CC, although I still usually pay more, but he does contribute. Since I no longer have any debt on my card that I have alone, and he has his own CC debt that he hasn't been been able to pay much on, I told him that I will work to pay off the 9k, and he doesn't have to pay to it at all. All I ask is that we split rent and some utilities (me still paying more)I WFH and work out a lot, and I usually just wear workout clothes all day, so I wanted to buy a new set which cost me $150. He was not happy about this, and told me that I shouldn't have spent $150 when we are trying to save money (I have some money saved as well)And is basically saying that I shouldn't be "living a lavish lifestyle when he cant" I don't live a lavish lifestyle by any means. The most name brand stuff I buy on OCCASION is Lulu, but I don't buy anything designer. I shop amazon basically. Anyway, he said its not fair that I buy things for myself when he can't (I have offered and have bought things for him, he never likes it and just gets upset.) He said, that it's not fair that I spent money on Christmas on my son and my siblings and my parents, when he wasn't able to. Even though I said all of the presents were from us. He said he wants to save so we can travel, (which I will most likely pay most of anyway) nd I should not have spent 150.And I just am at a loss as to why, if I am paying for mostly everything, don't ask him to contribute, and if I were to? I am sure he would have something negative to say. I have even offered to help him pay off his CCs, but no matter what I do, or say in regards to money, he is upse. Offer to help him? Hes upset. pay for everything? upset and says that that makes him feel bad. k fine then, ask him to pay wtever hes comfortable with? upset because now he cant pay off his cc.Its like we are constantly in this cycle and nothing I do makes him happy. I feel defeated bc I am trying my best to make sure he dsn't feel bad about me making more money than him. I dn't ever use that as a way to have power over him, ever. If anything, hes still the one that wears the pants in a lot of ways. I feel like most people who were in his position would be happy even thankful? Idk. AITA?

AITA for using my own money to buy things for myself?

NTA

10vez0b

This weekend I fulfilled my dream of going to Havana, Cuba for my birthday, but the 3 friends I invited ruined the experience from my POV. From their POV, they did nothing wrong.We're all digital nomads based in one nearby country. I (F40) was supposed to go to Havana last year with my friend (M31), but we couldn't make it happen till this year. This year he brought his new girlfriend (F23), so I invited another female friend (F35) to avoid third-wheeling. I know her for a short time. The male friend is one of my best friends.Bear in mind Cuba has almost no WiFi, and almost no one speaks English. M31 and F35 are native Spanish speakers. I made it clear that I wouldn't feel comfortable without them. The moment we landed, my female friend realized her former colleague lives in Havana. He's very attractive. This man accompanied us on all our group activities, plus took out my female friend separately. She said it wasn't romantic, but she was glued to his side of her every moment as if they were a couple. And the actual couple is in the honeymoon stage so spent the entire trip having hushed private conversations.So essentially, I ended up a FIFTH WHEEL instead! Much of the time I was trailing behind, feeling awkward. And they had their own agendas and schedules. "We all have different reasons for being here." I thought the reason was to celebrate my birthday! So of course there was a lot of splitting up. A few times they did accommodate my wishes, but several times I was told to go do my thing and we'll meet later at the Airbnb.I was so upset, I broke down in tears much of the trip. When I expressed my POV to them, I felt gaslighted. "But we're not a couple!" "You can't expect me to spend 24/7 with you!" "I didn't realize this trip came with such a commitment!" The commitment: hang out with me and include me in conversations and outings, and don't leave me alone on a 4-DAY TRIP!I even asked my female friend, once, gently via text, "Do you think you can ask your friend to sit out this one last night so we can spend time together?" She basically said no, he's coming with us. The next day, she made it seem like I yelled, "Tell him to stay home! I don't want him here!" I never did that. I communicated gently.She also spent 15 minutes berating me on a street corner. "Yes, you invited me but I paid for my own trip!" Translation: even though you invited me, I'm going to do what's most convenient for me, like hanging out with this hot guy who knows the ins and outs of Havana." Now I'm told I was a drama queen, impossible to please, and that I made it an awful experience for everyone. My "friendship" with this female friend is over, and my relationship with my dear male friend is strained. As a final insult to injury, his Instagram post about Havana included pictures of everyone but me! When I confronted him about it, he said, "Don't overthink it."AITA?

AITA for for expecting my friends to prioritize me on my birthday trip to Cuba?

YTA

10vek7x

for context my mum died from cancer when i was 13 after a 5 year long battle. on the second of may 2019. my dad got married in october 2021 since he cant handle being a single dad (she agreed to be a SAHM) and he can't cook well. i had 2 cats (female + indoor ) and dont have them anymore. in august 2021, i got 2 kittens at 6 weeks who are both female and look very similar to the old ones. they are both now 1 yr and 7 months years old. i begged my dad to buy them and this time got them spayed at 6 months and they have never experienced heat even once. my dad and brothers were against having them but they warmed up to them after a year. my uncles and aunties didn't understand why i needed them but they wasn't bothered. the exception called 'Gary' (in law) who has 3 daughters and is 40+.when i got my cats, i looked after them and cleaned their tray (exception is when i was doing my exams where my dad did them). my dad said only a year we will have them but when it came to be a year, he asked me if i want to get rid of them and i said no so they stayed. Gary really didn't like my cats. he for some reason comes to our house once every month or sometimes twice a month and doesnt see them anyway. the front room where the cat tree and cat food is and is sleep there too. Gary seems to have really hated the cats after he knew about this.my dads wife 'kate' (all fake names) is coming to the uk from her own country. she said she used to have a cat as a kid and is ok with the cats. my uncle insisted i get rid of the cats. he always asks me and my dad when we will get rid of them when he comes to our house and my dad said soon. a month before she was supposed to come, Gary's wife's aunt died in the other country but for some reason, Gary came to my house to pay respects instead of going to Gary's house. he keeps commenting on the cats and when we will get rid of them but now a few days before Kate comes, my uncle called me out of the blue (never usually calls) and asks me how i am and then quickly talked about getting rid of my cats and giving them to a shelter.Gary called my dad 2 days ago and asked and my dad was firm and said he wont be getting rid of them. today, my dad asked Gary about buying a radio and then Gary quickly talked about my cats. he said Kate is coming in 2 days and we need to get rid of them. he said when will you go to the shelter to give them away and my dad said no.Gary then insisted on getting rid of them. saying all sorts of excuses to get them out saying they smell and their cat tray smells (i scoop it everyday and they bury their waste) (and they dont smell as they are clean indoor cats). my dad then told him if he wanted them and Gary said no they smell. this is all my dad told me about their conversation and i feel like an asshole cause maybe i should get rid of them but i dont want to and i honestly see them as family. AITA?

AITA for not selling my 2 cats because my uncle doesn't like them?

NTA

10veddy

So let’s begin it was my friends party let’s call her tia so at tias party we all got a bit drunk and when I get drunk all my emotions start to come out I start crying about my dad because he passed away this always happens when I get drunk my other friends let’s call her Beth and kent (I’m not good at making names sorry) told me to stop or go home so I stopped and I kept getting drunk it turn out fun in the end but then Beth and Kent walk me home and was telling me how i ruined the party because I cried I got home and they started texting me saying don’t speak to them I ruined everything but they was also having a go at my other friend for being sick I don’t know if I deserved all these text because after we had a lot of fun and me and the tia and a bunch of other girls were taking pictures in her room she didn’t say anything about me crying at all Am I the asshole

AITA for crying at my friends party

YTA

10vd6jy

So my (19m) parents speak Spanish because their parents were born in Mexico and they want me to learn Spanish along with their family who wants me to learn. People give me so much backlash for not being able to speak Spanish but to them I look Mexican. I feel like that backlash will never go away since I will still have an accent even if I become fluent so what’s the point? They expect you to speak perfect Spanish and perfect English and I just can’t do that. Having an American accent will just make me more of a no sabo kid and be more embarrassing than if I just don’t know Spanish at all.

AITA for not wanting to learn my parent’s language because I’ll have an accent?

YTA

10vmgzi

For context, my brother (26m) and I (18f) have never gotten along. He’s hated me since before I was even born. He spent my entire childhood controlling everything I did, watched, and even ate. At Christmas he pissed me off. I was quite proud of myself for buying my first vehicle all on my own. He called my truck a POS. Then said to our parents, “Insurance companies statistically have higher rates for female drivers than males.” He was absolutely insinuating they shouldn’t put me on their policy. Simply because he’s been on their policy since he turned 16 and has never paid for insurance. He knew damn well he was getting bumped off when I was added. First of the year, our mom told him to get his own policy. He was pretty salty about that. Fast forward to this past weekend, it was our dad’s birthday. Honestly, I didn’t even want to go and sit through my brother’s usual bullshit about how great he is. But I went, and as usual pretty much remained quiet. My brother asks, so when are you moving out? I was like excuse me? He says, “You’re 18 now, you need to get out on your own now.” Literally no one said anything, so I told him it’s none of his business. He says, “Well I moved out at 19.” Here’s where things spiraled. I said to him, “Your’e not even on your own yet since you haven’t bothered paying a single penny of rent in 7 years.” He was fuming and tried changing the topic. My mom made a comment about that soon changing. Brother’s girlfriend was like what? So I told her, he moved out at 19 and hasn’t paid our parents a penny of rent all these years. She was livid, unbeknownst to anyone at that table, she had been paying my brother rent for two years because he led her to believe he was paying rent. The topic went off somewhere else. Then right back to me. My brother trying to give me fatherly advice by saying I should focus on my current job and forget wasting time with college. This was absolutely unsolicited advice. It pisses me off when he does this because he always does it, and acts like because of our age gap he has SO much more knowledge than stupid ass me. He again comments about me moving out, says to our dad…”I can’t believe you haven’t kicked her out after she brought all those animals in your house.” They both laugh. I had enough, I got up from the table and yelled JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. My mom understood, but she doesn’t want the family to fight. My dad said I was extremely rude by lashing out, caused a scene, made undue stress and embarrassed everyone. Apparently after I walked out, my brother says…”Well she obviously has something wrong in her head.” I felt bad because I’m sure a few kids dining with their families heard me, and I shouldn’t have cussed in front of them. Andddd…I guess I should have held it in and dealt with it later but I’ve always let this crap slide and I was sick of it. AITA?

AITA for yelling JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE during a family dinner at a crowded restaurant?

NTA

10vi1cx

My wife was a lot younger than me and she had a ten year old son when we met. Her ex had shared custody. I had a couple of grown children from my first wife. My stepson Charlie and I never really bonded. He had a father and he made it clear I wasn't his parent just his mom's husband. I respected this, he was always polite and respectful, just distant. I helped pay for his university when he went and we attended his graduation. When he got married our invitation was made out to his mother plus one. That was kind of a slap in the face but we still attended and gave them a substantial cash gift to start their life. The thank you card didn't have my name on it. My first wife had passed away from.cancer and it broke me. I didn't want to go through that again. Her youth was one thing that attracted me to my second wife. I know it was selfish. But I liked having a beautiful young wife to take care of and she liked me well enough. I didn't realize how much I loved her until she died. She passed away from a stroke. She was 49. Charlie came to the funeral with his family. His wife whom I had only met at the wedding and his kids. We had known he had kids but he had never made the effort to bring them for a visit. My wife loved the kids but Charlie wouldn't make the effort to come see us. My wife only had a very small estate and she left it all to Charlie. He also took almost everything of sentimental value that she owned before we got married. I didn't begrudge him any of it. My first grandchild just graduated cum laude last year and I went to his graduation. My son and his wife have worked hard to get their kids into college and I am proud of them. My son mentioned that my grandson had a job waiting and would be debt free pretty quick. I asked how much he owed. Then I wrote him a check to pay it off. I plan to do this for all my grandchildren. I guess my daughter-in-law and my stepson's wife are Facebook friends or something. He found out what I did. And he came around to ask if I planned to do the same for his children. I don't really have any connections to his kids. I don't see them. They don't consider me their grandfather. I've personally only ever seen them at the funeral. I was really put off by him coming by to ask about money after ignoring me for years. I know that if my wife were alive she would want me to help out her son. It just felt dirty. I said that I had money for them in my will and if they needed it for university I would give it to them early. He said I'm a petty little man and that his mom would be ashamed of me for treating his kids like this. I don't really think I owe them anything. They have a "real" grandfather. I'm only including them in my will for my wife's sake. So AITA?

AITA for telling my stepson that his kids weren't my responsibility.

NTA

10vojq3

Hi...So, long story short, I (F very early 20s) own a toy that looks like a lipstick. I was headed somewhere after work where I would need this tool, so in my purse it went. It was in a velvet pouch that was in a makeup bag that was inside a pocket that was on the inside of my zipped up, filled to the brim purse.I put the purse where purses go (pretty high area of locker-like compartments) and went about my day. Mind you, the place where we leave personal belongins is outside my working area and no personal belongings are allowed past that point. We aren't allowed to use locks per the boss' request.However, I got called to the front desk for my admin coworker wanted to return something of mine to me. When I got there, she told me that her not very old daughter had gone through my purse and found my "lipstick". I stood there in disbelief and expecting an apology to follow her rant as she explained how her child had gone through my purse and through different pockets and mini purses to be able to find that. She said she liked the shade and went to her mom to ask for something similar, then my coworker figured out it wasnt a lipstick once she opened it and saw no pigment and a charging port.She flipped out on me saying how I shouldn't bring that anywhere near my place of work and I stood there, flabbergasted and all I could say is "she went through my purse? why did you let your daughter go through someone else's purse that was out of reach?" I also told her I had not brought that anywhere near my workplace, as it was outside and tucked away. I don't think her daughter knows what it was, but it's disturbing to me that she had to find a stool to climb onto the locker area, access my purse and then go through all of it till she found it. I want to make it crystal clear how out of reach the thing was.We didn't come to any sort of agreement and kept blaming each other, so I apologized for her child having found it, as that was not my intention, and told her to keep her child out of my things or out of the personal belonging area entirely.She told my boss about it (we have a very good work environment and boss is more a coworker than a boss) and boss adviced her to keep daughter out of that room since anything legal could be in it, clarifying that legal doesn't mean daughter's age appropriate (alcohol, cigarretes, lighters...) Now my coworker is bitching about it to whoever will listen (again, don't care, pretty good work atmosphere and we are all quite friendly and close, we talk about adult matters often after hours having a drink and one of them was the one to recommend the adult toy to me haha).Coworkers are staying out of it although some of them have privately taken my side. However, main coworker won't let it go and is still butthurt. AITA?

AITA for my coworker's daughter going through my purse and finding something inappropriate?

NTA

10vnhh8

Throwaway because girlfriend is a Redditor. I (24M) am Canadian and have been in the US for 10 months, where I have been living with my American girlfriend (25F) for 7 of them. My time in the US is almost up, and I'm stressing about having to return to Canada. For one, my family is reliant on me to make money to support my grandma and pay for her medical support. I also want to earn money to give my girlfriend, she deserves the world. Because I have so many side hustles going on to earn money, I admittedly don't spend a lot of time with my girlfriend, but I've always been open with her that I am not able to give her a lot of attention right now even though I love her more than anything.My girlfriend lost her job last month, and as a result has been at the house more often. We live in a one bedroom and split the rent evenly. She understands that I'm busy all day/night, but I don't like when she's sitting in the same room as me. Even her presence is distracting to me, she will try to start conversations and she's not the cleanest, so I would ask her to go to the bedroom for the day while I worked in the living room at my desktop. She was ok with that for a few weeks, but began to complain that she was stuck in the bedroom. She says that since she's paying half the rent, she has every right to be where she wants to be in the house. I agree. So, after a few big fights, we agreed she would leave the house during the day and I would leave the house at night. Well, now she's upset that she's spending all day out of the house. Her car was in an accident last month and has been in the shop, so she's been going to do work in the boba shop by our house. Before anyone asks, I am not able to do the work I do during the day outside of the house, which is why I leave in the evening.Today, my friend was over and was sitting on the couch, where my girlfriend usually eats lunch. I say couch, but it's really an oversized loveseat. My girlfriend went to go sit in her usual spot to eat lunch, but I asked her if she could eat in the kitchen instead so she would have more room to eat. She went to the kitchen, but I could tell she was pissed. When I asked her if everything was ok, she said she was tired of me controlling her. I think she's being selfish and not considering that I need a certain environment to concentrate and get work done, and that I am doing all of this for her and my family and one day I will be able to spend all the time in the world with her, but that right now I am really grinding and most strong relationships are built on sacrifice. So, AITA for asking my girlfriend to accommodate my work schedule?

AITA for asking my girlfriend to leave the house for 6-7 hours a day?

YTA

10vquhh

My sister has 3 kids (7f, 5m, 1m) fairly recently the youngest (1m) was hospitalized in the paediatric ICU for 3 weeks for a respiratory infection. My sister or brother-in-law never left his side and traded off shifts at the hospital with caring for their other kids at home. My sister spent the majority of time at the hospital (like 2-3 days straight at a time.)Now this is the part where I may be the asshole - we were having a family dinner a week or so after the baby came home and my sister was tearing up talking about the experience and how she couldn’t imagine leaving her child alone in that hospital. I thought that she should know how lucky she was to be able to stay or trade off with her husband so I told her that not everyone has that privilege like a single mom with other kids or working parents. She got quietly angry looked at me and said she didn’t feel so privileged when she had to start CPR on her own child (she works where CPR is mandatory) and left without saying anything else.A few days later I asked her for some of her old baby stuff but she told me she planned on selling them or giving them away to someone else. I get the feeling she still angry at me. My mom agrees that I wasn’t the asshole at the table but my sister is sooo angry AITA?

AITA for pointing out my sister’s privilege?

YTA

10vs6f5

For many years, I (24F) was friends with (24F). We met in college and became really close ... or so I thought. Savannah I were opposites in many ways. She is very beautiful blonde woman, and really sweet and outgoing. I am pretty too but also awkward and confrontational.One year ago, when I came back to our college state, she offered to come over to my apartment and help me unpack. It was then that she told me she was engaged to Eric (25F). I have always found Eric attractive, but didn't say anything. They had been dating for years, but things had just gotten real! I ignored my shattering heart and congratulated her while she showed off her ring and engagement photos. Some girls seem to have everything just handed to them, I thought. Savannah was one of them."And you will definitely be on the guest list!" she told me. I had never been invited to wedding before (sad, I know), and I was excited! Even three months before the wedding, I bought a beautiful wedding guest dress from Michael Kors. This was gonna be FUN!Savannah has always been lively, outgoing, and popular, and her wedding was the major event of the town. All my friends were talking about it. I always had a good fashion sense, so other girls would ask me what I plan to wear to it. We all had a sleepover at Savannah's house and watched "Bride Wars", and she handed me a pink invitation for the Rehearsal Dinner. She showed everyone the wedding dress she chose, and looked gorgeous in it! I had never been more envious of someone.However, within a few weeks, I knew something was off. All my other friends had gotten wedding invitations in white envelopes, but I never did. I just had the pink rehearsal dinner card (which everyone else had also gotten) but not the wedding invitation. I was confused. Why would she just invite me to the rehearsal dinner but not the wedding?Thinking it might have been an oversight, or maybe the envelope got lost in the mail, I decided to talk to Savannah about it. I was wondering if she indeed just wanted me to come to the rehearsal dinner but not the wedding.Turns out, she meant exactly that. **"If a spot opens up at my wedding, I'll let you know!"** I was really hurt, especially by the fact that she'd *told* me I'd be invited and asked me to save the date.A week before the wedding, I got a phone call. It was from Savannah. Sure enough, someone had gotten sick, and guess what? They had a spot for me now! She basically told me I am a Plan B!Because dignity is important, I declined going to both the RD and the wedding. I congratulated her and wished both her and Eric the best in their marriage.Months passed, and I hadn't heard from Savannah at all. Then she texted me out of the blue to tell me how fun married life is, and sent photos from their honeymoon.I just responded, **"if a spot opens up in the list of people I'll ever speak to again, I'll let you know."**Was I too harsh?UPDATE: I do NOT mean to end the friendship, so that's why I am full of regret.

AITA for telling off a friend who lined me off her wedding list?

YTA

10vicb8

I (26m) have always protected and stuck my neck out for my little sister (25F) but she has a toxic case of baby syndrome. There are 5 of us with the oldest being 35.The past 2 years she’s been reckless, irresponsible, immature, all of the above. Disrespectful. She’ll send 10 page letters cussing you out and then she’ll block you before you can reply. Basically reverted back into a teenager. 9 months ago she needed a place to stay to get her life back on track after a bad relationship, her credit is fucked, can’t rent, can’t lease, and I had an extra room so I let her stay. She manipulated me into moving out so that she can “do her own thing” “grow up” “become an adult” so I left. It put me in a bad financial spot but I did it for her. I told her as long as she was responsible. Kept up with the bills, we’d be good. No eviction. (She got a repossession on my credit some years back when I helped her with a car, as well as our brothers, so this was gonna be my straw) She agreed because she was planning on moving her best friend and girlfriend in so now 3 people splitting the bills, cool. I had nothin to worry about, the moneys there. She alone brings in 7k a month. Why should I worry?Come to find out rent was 3 months behind, she had changed all the contact info in the portal so I was getting no notification. Keep in mind this whole time we had been hanging out and seeing each other working on rebuilding our relationship. She had been looking me straight in the eyes lying to me, telling me things were paid. And I kept telling her “okay I trust you because you want everyone to treat you as an adult. “Lights cut off, just everything behind. She’d been getting the police called over there numerous times for domestic reasons. When the leasing office finally got ahold of me it was a mess. So now I’m trying to clean it all up. 7k is what I now owe. She has no intent on paying or helping. Especially since she just got herself fired because she thinks she too good to work (works underneath older sister so always had job security). So now she’s in cosmetology school. The apartment is damaged. Between the drama and the lies, she doesn’t think this is all that serious she even got arrested for the first time during one of those domestic calls. I picked her up driving in a snow storm, she yelled at me as soon as she came through the doors. I’m sick her.I don’t want me and my girlfriend getting stuck paying this we can’t afford it. So researched I can file a small claim case for property less than 20k. She scammed the military so she gets a 90% check, that I would love to have garnished since she just blows it on bs anyways. Im always cleaning her messes us, we all are.I want to show her that she can’t keep screwing people over and getting away with it. I want my money.So AITA, for suing my little sister?

AITA for suing my little sister?

NTA

10vo3f5

My mom posted my baby shower invitation to her 500+ Facebook friends/the public saying, "Who wants to come celebrate with us?!" My hubby's close family friend offered to host us at her private home. We had already discussed a set guest list of 30 people. The invitation included the home address and personal cellphone number of the host. My MIL called me this AM freaking out about the family friend's privacy. I told her I would contact my mother immediately and I profusely apologized. I thought my mom would private message the guest list we had discussed.My mom responded by saying we were over-reacting. She said, "OHHH MY GOD." Then said she was in the middle of something and was too busy to take down the post immediately. I got upset and told her that since FB is connected to her phone she could delete the post in less than 2 minutes and that I would redesign an announcement that she could share freely. She repeated she was busy and would do it by the end of the day.I understand the excitement, but I want to be really respectful of the host since she is being kind and saving us a lot of $ for this special celebration.AITA for getting upset and embarrassed by my mom's behavior?

AITA for telling my mom to take down FB post immediately

NTA

10vr7vr

For context, I(14M) go to the gym around 6 days a week and have been going so for around 6-7 months now. Recently, a new girl from my highschool joined. I’m a freshman and she’s a junior and very popular and pretty. Couple days ago, she was doing deadlifts but her form was very bad and it could result in bad back injuries. I showed her proper form, she said thank you then I went on my way. Next day at school, people are whispering saying I was stalking her and being a creep, I assume she spread these rumors. I clear it up with most people but her friends all hate me now. Same day in the evening, I’m working out in a bench and she stands 2 ft in front of me and does squats. There is no squat rack or anything, she’s just squatting in front of me. Shes also recording a video for which I’m guessing is for her social media. I just cover my beanie over my face because I don’t want to be in the video and her ass is right in front my face i don’t want to be caught staring. Later, she said it was rude of me to cover my face. I didn’t want to take her shit anymore so I just went straight to management saying she’s been harassing me. Since she’s a minor, her parents were contacted and she has been banned from the gym and suspended from school for a week for spreading false rumors and posting videos about others Her friends have been dming me on all social media saying I’m an AH. So Reddit AITA?Edit: I saw a comment asking why they would want to do something like this. I’m not sure if this is the reason but last summer her younger sister (we will call her F) who is in the 8th grade now(middle school) asked me out. I politely rejected saying that I’m not looking to date right now and my parents wouldn’t allow it. F started crying and her sister picked her up and chewed me out. Turns out F was autistic but I didn’t know. Since then she has been extremely mean to me and my friends. Also my best friend used to date her best friend and they had a nasty break up so she hates my whole friend group

AITA for getting a girl banned from my gym

NTA

10vlw7o

TL, DR: My childhood friend invited me to lunch and added another friend. When it was time to pay the check, she made excuses and tried to pin the bill on her other friend. I’d already paid my check, which was about ⅓ what she ordered because she also wanted to take food home. It was a $$ to $$$ restaurant. Her other friend refused to pay and I left very quickly. Now I’m getting lots of calls from her and telling me things that sound depressing. English is my second language. ​I( f32) have a friend, Liah ( f32) who I've known since I was 12. We drifted apart because she doesn't support my career ambitions and had a tendency to pull me to the fun and leisure lifestyle and that came in conflict with my need to focus on my goals. I'm on a very strict budget . I’m also planning on celebrating passing my qualification exam by not working for two months this summer until I get integrated into the job offer waiting for me. After 7 years apart, she invited me to lunch with another friend of hers. I finished my post graduate, created a startup, have accomplishments that I’m proud of and she isn’t interested. We can never talk about anything but her. She insisted, and I gave in because her husband just dumped her and I thought maybe I could make a difference at least for a few hours. Her other friend, Elizabeth (f32) arrived, and we started ordering food. Elizabeth is extremely wealthy. I’ve known her since we were teenagers. Her own friendship with Liah kind of died years ago but I’ve always suspected it’s because Liah doesn’t reciprocate. One hour into our lunch date, I noticed Elizabeth’s face changed when Liah started ordering like crazy. I really wanted one of those huge crabs (like the mugbangs), so I specifically ordered one to avoid past situations where Liah suddenly wants everyone to share their food. Because Elizabeth’s demeanor was a red flag, I asked for a separate check to send the message that I'm not an opportunist. No one flinched so it was all good. I paid for my food via cash app and whatever else I ordered was from drinks and dessert. Liah starts dragging, she ate a lot and called her family that she was carrying a doggy bag. Ok cool. But then she did a “I forgot my wallet” skit which was especially infuriating. Elizabeth looked unimpressed and said “use your cash app then”. Liah then came up with a sob story, ran her ATM and it was declined. Elizabeth called the waitress and asked for a detailed separation of the bill items, then paid for her own food while I was perplexed and fucking speechless. Elizabeth called Liah a leech. I was so embarrassed I went out of the restaurant and called Uber. I feel horrible because I walked out and hid from her the whole time while waiting for my ride. I don’t know what happened next. I’m getting daily voice messages from Liah crying and accusing me of lurching her. I know I did the right thing by choosing myself but I’m feeling down. Any advice on how to get past this?

AITA For Walking Out Of A Restaurant To Avoid Paying For My Friend's Food?

NTA

10vpfad

Apologies for the long post ahead. For some context: I (F21) have been dating my bf (M21) Ryan for the past 7-8 months. He is a born american with south asian family and I was born in south asia; moved to the states when I was 12. My cousin Akash (M24) is visiting the town for a few days. He lives by himself in a different state and doesn't have the best relationship with his parents so we don't see him much nowadays. Growing up I was really close with this cousin and a few others who are basically siblings to me since we all lived in the same block back in our home country. My parents invited him over for dinner and I drove him to my new apartment after dinner to show him my new place and hangout with two other cousins. My bf has met my other cousins but not him so he asked if he could join us and hangout and I said for sure. Akash and I were just catching up while everyone was on their way. During the conversation a lot of our childhood stories came up and I got sentimental. We were also bonding over some of the childhood trauma we experienced and how it affected us. I started sobbing as I was telling him how much I missed our group and I'm so happy we are all gonna be together after a long time. He consoled me and patted my head saying how proud he is of me that his little sister is now such a responsible grownup and stuff. My bf walked into the living room at that moment and saw me leaning my head on his shoulder and crying. He blurted out "ayo what in the alabama shit is going on" and started laughing hysterically. My face turned red in embarrassment and I could barely mumble "what". Akash stood up and firmly said "excuse me? do we have a problem here?" and asked me if this is my bf. Then I asked bf what's wrong with you? who starts a conversation like that? He got even more defensive and said "dont desi people marry their cousins all the time? It's funny bc it's true." Well I didn't find it funny and was enraging with embarrassment so I asked him to leave immediately before others get here. He tried to argue and say hi to Akash but I didn't leave any space for explanation and held the door open until he got out. I turned my phone off when he started blasting my phone with texts demanding to speak. My other cousins arrived shortly and we all had a great time catching up. When I woke up in the morning and turned my phone on I saw tons of missed calls and texts from my bf. He even posted some passive aggressive stuff on social media without mentioning my name. He said how I overreacted to a very simple joke and turned him into the bad guy and I said if your first thought is to make such a cheap disgusting joke in front of someone who you literally saw for the first time then you really need to work on your humor and hung up. I'm still very upset and embarrassed and asked Akash to not tell anyone about it yet. Was I TA here?

AITA for kicking my bf out after he made a joke which I found very inappropriate and disgusting?

NTA

10vikdv

This is a throw away for reasons I (36m) my fiancé who we will call Alex (f36) and her daughter jules (13) all live together Alex’s ex husband was abusive. I kind off helped get them out of it but it was mostly Alex I’m not going to go into detail for reasons but anyway on to the story I was walking into the kitchen as Jules was making a sandwich she reached for a plate and didn’t grab it properly so it fell and shattered. No biggy I thought we have loads of plates but jules started to cry saying she was sorry over and over again and hyperventilating. I told her it’s alright and we can clean it up she ran into the living room and tripped she curled up into a ball and started to have a breakdown she kept repeating “don’t hurt me I’m sorry I didn’t mean too” I approached her like a scared animal because I didn’t know what else to do, I hugged her tightly and told her I wasn’t going to hurt and it was all right I got her calmed down and I decided to stay with her until her mom got home so we watched encanto together. I’m a part time farmer and I had to do the evening milking but didn’t want to leave her so I texted a friend and asked if he could. He said he could do it, I texted my dad and told him I couldn’t milk due to family emergency but it would be sorted When Alex got home I explained what happend and let the 2 of them talk. I went and checked the farm everything was fine friend didn’t have any problems. My mother asked me what was up and I told her to let it be (she’s not the best at keeping things secret) she blew up saying I was probably too busy “shagging Alex” and I’m a terrible son/farmer I don’t think I was an asshole for not telling her but I feel as though some outside input would help so AITA?Edit: Jules has never had a breakdown before but according to Alex when jules was younger she was at home with her bio dad and her favourite show was on she went and got a glass of water but ran back to the living room to not miss it she tripped and the glass broke her dad came in started yelling at her and threw stuff at her she was 5 at the time when Alex came home her ex was away to the pub and she found jules crying under her bed hugging her rabbit teddy so I’m thinking it might be repressed trauma she’s in therapy and Alex and jules are going for an emergency session tomorrow morning I’ve known jules for 2 years now and this is the first breakdown she’s had Her bio dad is prison now and is not allowed to request that either of them visit him

AITA for not telling my mom about my fiancé’s daughters mental breakdown

NTA

10vp6d9

My wifes parents are M68 and F65, and have lost everything due to a failed business they took loans against their house on. They had to declare bankruptcy, and are too old to work, so currently they rent a small place. They pay for this place using the pension cheques from the government (basically nothing and just covers rent), along with an even split of money from me and my wife, and her three brothers to cover basic needs like food. My wife and I have done very well for ourselves and live in a house we own, go on vacations every year with our kids, and don’t really have any financial issue. Meanwhile her three younger brothers make much less than us, some aren’t married, and all rent a place. Recently they have come together and said that they shouldn’t have to pay since we are much better off than them, and we should instead take my in-laws into our home so they don’t have to contribute anymore and their government pension will cover the basic needs. I immediately said no, and they are all upset at me. My wife told me I should think it over (she is the eldest sibling by 8 years so I think she feel’s responsibility). However I said not gonna happen ever, and she said I am acting rude to them. I don’t mind them visiting for a weekend and sleeping over, but there is obviously a huge pandora box of problems waiting if I let them in permanently. I just want to know if I am justified in thinking this way (seems obvious but everyone is telling me I’m wrong) or if there is a better way to communicate this to them.

AITA for refusing to let my in-laws live with me?

NTA

10vhptw

I’m a single dad with 3 kids full time (13f 12f & 9m) I have a 3 bedroom house and tried to make the sleeping arrangements as fair as possible. I took the smallest room as its just me and all i need is a bed and a cupboard, there is basically enough room around my bed to walk. My son gets the one that's a bit bigger but my girls share the room that is at least 2 times the size of mine. A while ago my eldest started seeing a psychologist because she was having a really rough time at school and it was causing a few issues elsewhere in her life. Since then she's moved schools been working through some stuff with her psychologist and is doing a lot better. So now she's focusing more on her home life. I don't go and sit in with all of her sessions but I do go in occasionally. Last week was one of them. She's been complaining about not having her own space and her sister annoying her. The psychs solution was that she gets my room and I share with my 12 year old. I certainly didn't commit to that but just let them talk it through. Get home and my 13yo starts packing up her stuff, sister asks what she's doing and she explains that her and I are swapping rooms. Needless to say the 12yo gets a bit pissed at that. I tell my eldest that we won't be swapping rooms and I won't be sharing a room with one of the kids. She now is claiming I'm the AH (not in those words) because I “promised” we would in the session with her psych, and I clearly don't care about her. I tried to talk about moving her into her brothers room and the 9yo and 12yo could share. But that was met by a lot of anger from the 12 yo who was very against sharing with her brother. Plus different bed times and all that get harder to work with. I can't easily move as selling this place and getting a loan for a new place wouldn't be easy on a single income, I bought this place when their mum was still around so had two incomes. So am I the AH for not sharing a room with my 12 year old so my eldest could get her own room.

AITA for not letting my daughter swap bedrooms.

NTA

10vhwmx

I (37F) have a close friend (39F) who needs therapy. She asked if I could send her my therapist’s information (I have a good therapist) and I feel extremely uncomfortable about her seeing my therapist. Is this normal to feel weird about this? AITA? TL;DR: close friend asked to see my therapist for help and it makes me uncomfortableEdit to add: I’m not uncomfortable because I think they’ll talk about me, I know that’s illegal and I know he wouldn’t disclose my information to another client of his.Second edit: I’ve never discussed this friend with my therapist and wouldn’t have a reason to do so, it isn’t a fear of my personal information being disclosed, etc

WIBTA if I asked my best friend to not see my therapist and pick another?

NTA

10vq88t

Me and my ex girlfriend Kayla have two children S (8m) and D (15f). We broke up 6 years ago and we have 50/50 custody and I pay her child support. I make 50k per year and she gets about 1k per month. She has never worked, even before we had the kids. Me and my girlfriend Serenity have been together for 4 years and both my kids love her! She's so sweet, incredibly smart and so hardworking. She has her own business and makes 100k a year. Kayla, Serenity and I all grew up extremely poor and I got my new job 5 years ago so I can better provide for my kids and I know the struggle.The problem is, we have a completely different lifestyle in our home than Kaylas home. We live a typical middle class lifestyle and Kayla lives how we used to live on government assistance, in a bad neighborhood and uses public transportation. Serenity saved for 6 months to buy a luxury Lexus SUV. She's always wanted one and we shared my car while she was saving. She posted a video of the car on Instagram and the keys.My daughter sent Kayla the post and she went off. She called me and told me how dare my girlfriend ride around comfortably while my children are living in the hood. She said my daughter cries sometimes when she gets back home because Serenity has luxury bags and clothes and makeup but I don't buy that stuff for her. I told her I can't afford that stuff because I'm too busy putting the money in her college fund and that unlike her, I don't just get handed money. She says I need to get a better job so I can pay more child support. I told her absolutely not. She called my mother and my mother said I need to get a better job and do what's best for the kids. I can get a better paying job and work for Serenity, but I refuse to do so just so Kayla can have more of my money that I work hard for. I know my kids don't have the best lifestyle at their moms but if it's such an issue with Kayla she should get a damn job like I did. She then went on Facebook and made a post about how my girlfriend drives around in a luxury vehicle but my daughter take the bus to school. Everyone commented that I am a POS and I need a better job.AITA for refusing to get a better job to pay more child support?

AITA for not getting a better job so I can pay more child support?

NTA

10vtigm

For context : My Daughter is five years old and my niece is as well ( I’ll call my niece Lucy in this situation) . Lucy has consistently placed her hands on my daughter numerous amounts of times such as ; hitting , pinching , hair pulling , and even biting . Here lately Lucy has expressed a new interest in cussing and she will often use swears at my daughter (not just one or two but full on sentences of cussing my daughter out because she doesn’t do what Lucy wants) . I have talked to my mother in law various amounts of times and she always makes excuses for her saying she is only 5 . I talked to Lucy’s mom as well and nothing has been done to fix the situation . Lucy is never disciplined or explained to why the use of her words and actions are wrong , it’s always brushed off and they expect my daughter to just take it and ignore it because their cousins . My daughter came crying to me about this consistent abuse and treatment from her cousin and how she feels uncomfortable having Lucy at her party and around her friends , due to the nature of how Lucy is . Lucy’s mom took great offense to her daughter not being invited and said all sorts of hateful things and even targeted me for being malicious towards a five year old because I didn’t want her at my daughters party. AITA ?

AITA for not inviting my niece to my daughters birthday party?

NTA

10vi7sd

So my (18M) parents (59F & 56M) got divorced in 2017 after my dad cheated on mom for some years.My mom was going through a really bad time in 2014 because my grandma (mom's mom) was dying of cancer, and found out during that time that my dad was having an affair. They tried working things out and eventually got divorced in 2017.Well 6 months later my dad got married to the woman he was having an affair with, and since he cheated on mom with her and broke our family, me and my sister (24F) didn't want to even meet her and deal with her in any circumstance. However my dad has been very insisting that we go meet her and have some sort of relationship with his wife. He says that he is our father and that we should listen to what he says, and keeps saying that we would rather do what our mom wants rather than what HE wants, and so on and how we would meet his wife if we really loved him.So AITA ?

AITA for not wanting to deal with my dad's wife ?

NTA

10vh24k

\[NSFW because boobs and cancer are mentioned\]I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Myself and one of my closest friends are attending a wedding in 3 weeks time. It's been in planning since before Covid, and we wanted to make sure everybody could come together which is why it's been postponed as long as it has. I'm going as a guest, but my friend is one of 5 head bridesmaids. The dresses were picked out specially and have already arrived. It's pertinent to note that these are strapless dresses (you know, the ones held up primarily by your boobs) and every one is fine with that. Except for my friend.2 months ago she received a diagnosis of cancer and had an emergency double mastectomy and has been going through chemo since. She has always been a wig wearer anyway so if you hadn't been told you wouldn't know she had cancer and was going through treatment. Because of the wedding and also because of her own personal feelings this isn't widely known information, and she didn't want to inform the bride and groom because she, in her words not mine, "\[doesn't\] want to take attention away from the happy couple on their big day by being the token sick one". My views on her telling other people about this is irrelevant, it's her body, her condition, and ultimately it is her information to tell and I am not in a position to disclose something so sensitive.Now here comes the clincher... since the mastectomy once the wounds had healed over, she bought basically a big padded bra that gives the impression of having breasts. It's convincing, fairly neutral colour, but with a strapless dress the top of the bra would be very obvious, and were she not to wear the pads the dress wouldn't... yknow... have anything to hold on to. So a bit of a double dilemma. This is where I come in - I work with fabric a fair amount for my job and can roughly mimic the embroidery on the dress into two small but functional straps that would hide the arm holes of the padded bra and stay in line with the style of the dress. I was the one who recommended this, as my friend is adamant she doesn't want to ruin the mood of the wedding by telling people her situation. Neither of us can decide if we should or not - WIBTA if I sewed straps onto the dress to allow her time to reveal the diagnosis in her own time? Or would it cause more questions and upset the bride that I've altered the dress?

WIBTA if I sewed straps onto my friend's bridesmaid dress?

NAH

10vj60b

Okay, so my parents are originally from Mexico and my Dad in particular grew up in rural poverty. He's really had to work for everything he has. Growing up, he was always very insistent that if an item is in the kitchen, then it's for anyone to eat, especially him. This has caused several issues with making food for company and family, because even when a note is placed on a cake or food item that is meant to be eaten later, and for multiple people he will not care and eat it. And he will eat more than his fair share of it. Even if he's already eaten dinner, let's say, and you come over late with take-out to quickly eat, he will glare at you because he's expecting something extra from you. It seriously bothers him to watch others eat except him. It's a psychological thing brought on by poverty, I'm sure of it.So my husband and I go to a bakery for some coffee. We note they have some nice bread for breakfast. So we get a croissant and anpan roll. I tell my husband if he wants to eat his whole croissant, then buy my Dad another one to make sure he has one, or hide the one he bought for himself. I know my Mom is going to make my Dad a big breakfast. But it doesn't matter. If it's in the kitchen it's fair game, even if we label it. My husband said I was exaggerating and that he didn't need to hide his food or get another croissant just for him. Sure enough, come morning time, the croissant is already half eaten and I can see the look of utter annoyance on my husband's face. My Dad is laughing like hey, it's in the kitchen, whatever is out is mine. I told my Dad he's rude, it's not an endearing quality about him, and that I was absolutely right food should either be hidden from him or another one should be purchased even though his huge breakfast was ready for him and we can't have something without him having it as well. My Mom said I was being an AH to my Dad and that I should just always buy extra for my Dad. It just made me mad he's the only one who does this and we always have to tiptoe around him with food.

AITA for telling my husband to either hide food from my Dad or make sure to buy him an item?

NTA

10vukad

I have 2 daughters in college, Olivia (20) and Sophia (18). Sophia has a learning disability and the school's disability center gave her a smart pen that records the lectures while she writes notes, so that if she misses anything she can go back and listen. The pen is only compatible with a very specific, very expensive (for a notebook) notebook. When Sophia got the pen, she let us play with it. We recorded ourselves talking or singing while writing or drawing. Olivia chose to write a few curse words and record herself saying them. Sophia told her not to do it again and took the pen and notebook to her room. Well, she got sick a couple weeks after and had to miss a class. Olivia is in the same class so Sophia gave Olivia the pen and notebook and told her to record the class so she could listen to it later. Olivia chose not to record the class. She decided it would be funny to write curse words/curse Sophia out on the first line of every page and record herself saying/singing the words. Sophia is very embarrassed and refuses to use the notebook. She was able to get the disability center to wipe the recordings from the pen but they refused to replace the notebook because it was still usable.When Sophia told me what happened and that the disability center wouldn't give her a new book, I gave Olivia an ultimatum. Either she buys Sophia a new book or I take her car (registered in my name and under my insurance policy) and she'll have to walk to the bus stop 2 miles away and take the bus to school (which their friends say takes an hour, compared to the 15 minute drive). We got on Amazon and the only thing we found that was compatible with Sophia's pen was a set of 4 books for $40. Olivia said she's not going to pay that much but I told her it was either that or the bus so she bought the books. Olivia thinks I'm being unfair and my husband is starting to agree with her but I think it's Olivia's responsibility to replace the book and if the only thing that's available is a 4 pack for $40, well that sucks and hopefully she won't do it again. AITA for making her buy $40 worth of notebooks after she defaced her sister's?

AITA for making my daughter buy $40 worth of notebooks for her younger sister?

NTA

10vjyj3

I (34m) am blind in one eye and wear an eye patch. Weeks ago an older woman at a bar flagged me down while I was sitting with my friends, and asked:"What happened to your eye, honey?""I don't think it's appropriate to ask strangers that sort of thing." *turns back toward the stage**from behind me* "That didn't really answer my question..."*turns to reply* "It wasn't meant to." *turns back*My friend was absolutely livid at the nerve of this person, and I was none too pleased myself, but I calmed him down so we could try to move on with the evening. A short while later, a slightly younger woman with her (I'm pretty sure at this point this is her daughter who confronted me):"You didn't have to be a smartass!"*my friends immediately piping up and rising from their seats while I stay them with a hand* "I think I responded very appropriately to the situation.""No, you were a smartass." And keeps on blustering. One of my friends gets up and I think he's going to get in her face, so I shout him down to his seat for his own good, but he just needed some air because he was so worked up, so I apologize and let him go. To get away from the situation I excused myself from the rest of my friends and got another drink. Apparently my friend spoke to the manager on duty, and he spoke to the offending party, and I was told they wouldn't bother me anymore. I did tell him that I found that unsatisfactory (personally I think they should have been asked to leave), but that I understood that they didn't want to create a scene. The woman who initially asked tried (kindly, to her merit) to explain later that she'd had surgery on her eyes or something in the past and was just curious. I told her I understood, but that I wasn't there to talk about that. She also kept reaching like she wanted to put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but I put up my hands and said that I must ask her not to touch me. That was the last of it, and the entire situation left me feeling pretty shitty and uncomfortable.This past Friday I'm at the same bar, same friends, same karaoke night. We'd had a good night thus far, when I feel someone put an arm across my shoulders from my blind side. I turned to see an older woman I did not recognize, and over the speaker 5 feet behind her I caught something to the effect of: "I don't mean to offend you... my mother is 65 years old... why do you wear the patch?""First of all, please don't put your hands on me. Secondly, I don't like discussing it with strangers, now please be on your way."*instantly flips* "You're a rude motherfucker! Fuck you! Fuck you!"I wave her away and she finally returns to her table, still fuming, and I eventually figure out it must be another daughter of the same woman. I spoke to the owner to make him aware, in case things escalated. My friends were very supportive, but it still sucks.AITA? I have other examples of this sort of thing too.

AITA for not wanting to discuss my disability with random strangers in public?

NTA

10vvpnu

I live in a small area and I walk to the gym ever 5:30am in the morning. However, both of my neighbors has their dogs outside their housed (covered by fence).When I step outside my house, those dogs starts barking like crazy even though I never look at them directly. I guess they might be guard dogs? Recently, my neighbor with the dogs started complaining to me that I am disrupting their sleep and making their dogs aggressive every early morning, but I told them I need to go the gym at that time and that its not my fault that the dogs are barking like crazy. Its not like I am walking over to those dogs; I just walk straight to the direction of the gym.AITA?

AITA for waking up neighbors every morning at 5:30?

NTA

10vtkh1

My brother Geoffrey did not have a positive high school experience. Geoffrey didn’t have any close friends and it was a lonely time for him. He doesn’t have contact with anyone from high school. Geoffrey thinks that if a person has contact with anyone from their high school (even past teachers,) it means they peaked in high school. He constantly makes assumptions about people (often strangers) based on his own high school experiences. The comments he makes are mean-spirited and uncalled for.An example is how we were visiting a relative who lives next to a park and there was a random teenager using the fitness equipment. Without any prompting, Geoffrey loudly said “Better live up those quarterback days now. You’ll be working at a gas station after graduation.” Whenever we go out, Geoffrey makes rude comments about the employees and assumptions about their time in high school. We recently had a very sweet waitress at a restaurant, and Geoffrey felt the need to say “Bet she was prom queen once, now she’s fat. Probably raising five kids alone.” As I said, his comments are just mean and uncalled for.Recently, we were at my parents’ house for their anniversary. My daughter Emma was in the living room doing an online dance challenge. Geoffrey made a comment about how Emma should have “grown out of” doing online dance challenges and “be careful, she’ll wind up being her school’s version of Kathy” who was a girl that I and Geoffrey knew in high school. Kathy was always nice to Geoffrey. Geoffrey had gotten angry and refused to talk to her after she went to prom with another boy instead of him.I reminded Geoffrey that Emma’s thirteen and to just leave them be. Geoffrey again told me to “be careful” or else “she’ll end up being that fat single mom who always talks about her cheerleader days.” In the past, I have just told Geoffrey not to be rude, but roping my daughter into his comments was when I had enough.I pulled Geoffrey aside to a more private area and told him that he needs to get over high school. I know it wasn’t a great time for you and I’m sorry. But you need to stop taking that out on other people. Start seeing a therapist again and do whatever you need to move on. Otherwise, you’re going to end up alone if you keep lashing out at others this way.Geoffrey told the rest of the family about what I said. I shared my side of the story but several others told me that Geoffrey was “just concerned” for his niece’s future after graduation and telling him to “get over high school” dismissed/invalidated his experience. And not having close friends during developmental years can affect someone for their whole life.Geoffrey’s experiences are valid, which is why I told him about returning to therapy so he can work on properly dealing with them. And Geoffrey’s experiences do not give him the right to make such mean-spirited comments about others. It was a harsh reality check but one that I believe Geoffrey needed before he ruins any more relationships. AITA?

AITA For pulling my brother aside and giving him a reality check that he needs to get over high school or else he will end up alone?

NTA

10vo2fu

I 25F am the only one providing in our house. My partner 30M is not working atm. (Not due to medical issues) . We are far from being well off. We are late for rent every month since he lost his last job and live paycheck to paycheck on my 2k a month income. However he insists I get every grocery item he wants. Now if we had dual income like we should I would, however like I said we don't have money like that. He insists I get every thing he asks for cause he is the one that cooks. I keep trying to explain that I'm struggling and if he doesn't want to get a job he needs to stop demanding so much from me as I'm doing the best I possibly can. He says I'm selfish and a (b word) for not getting what he "needs" to cook. Am I the asshole for not getting all the groceries he requests?

AITA for not getting all the groceries my partner asks for?

NTA

10vshtn

I (24f) and my husband (26m) got married in January 2022. He gets along great with my family. I am the oldest of four girls. I got along well with his family. He has an older brother and a little sister.His little sister (19) got engaged a few weeks ago. Last night, she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, and I turned her down. She thought I was joking, but I had to explain to her that after how she acted at (and kind of ruined) my wedding, I wouldn't be able to be a bridesmaid for her. She became visibly upset but I told her that she needed to find someone else.Here's some long story short backstory:We decided to get married in his hometown of Boston instead of where I'm from in Seattle. Our families had never met before.When she met my family, she was immediately extremely rude to my family. She spoke to her parents in Spanish (their native language) not realizing that my father is from Venezuela and taught all of his children Spanish. She complained in a nasty voice about how my family was underdressed for a family dinner (they all had just gotten off a very long plane ride and came straight from dropping their luggage off at my house), how my little sister's baby wouldn't stop crying, etc. My father tried to speak to her in Spanish and she gave him a nasty glare and said she was going to wait in the car.She was rude and belittling to me and my family the entire week they were there visiting for the wedding.She refused to even acknowledge my family the entire time they were with us and my husband found it so obnoxious he refused to see her while my family was here, making her upset. She was one of my bridesmaids but she made everyone else feel extremely uncomfortable. She refused to come to my bridesmaids events (only came when the groomsmen came too), left 20 minutes into my bachelorette party to go to a club without saying goodbye, was very mean to my other bridesmaids and sisters, and didn't even want to get ready with the bridesmaids morning of the wedding. She called my mother (who doesn't speak Spanish) nasty names in Spanish to her face, and she had AirPods in 24/7 and actively ignored everyone who talked to her.My whole family left after the wedding and she hadn't spoken more than one sentence to my family. I called her out and she broke down explaining how she felt like my family had stolen my husband from her family and was jealous. I told her that was no excuse to treat my family the way she did. (I have a list of every little thing she did on my phone that was rude the whole week.... the list is 134 times long and we barely saw her.) I told her I appreciate her apology. She took that as being forgiven and treats me like a friend now.Fast forward back to now and she's really upset I refused to be one of her bridesmaids. My husband agrees with my stance and reiterated to her why I refused. She claims now that I am being mean.AITA for holding onto my feelings from my wedding and projecting them onto her wedding?

AITA for refusing to be one of my sister in law's bridesmaids?

NTA

10vrxnl

Hey Reddit, I'm hoping to get some outside perspective on a situation that happened at a family gathering with my 10-year-old son, who's adopted, and my husband and his family.So, I'm a proud mother of a 10-year-old boy who is very smart and mature for his age. He's always been aware of his adoption as my husband and I have never hidden it from him, but we've also never made a big deal out of it either. He's just a regular kid and we love him just as much as we would any biological child.Yesterday, we were all at my husband's parents' house for a family gathering. The situation started when my 4 year old niece innocently asked why my son's skin was a different color than everyone else's, not knowing about his adoption. Before I could even respond, one of the grandparents said, "That's because he's from a different planet!". Fortunately, no one laughed. However, my son turned red and looked down, seemingly upset and embarrassed, and didn't say anything.I immediately stood up for my son and told the grandparents that they were being disrespectful, but they just laughed it off and continued making jokes about his adoption to my son's cousins. My husband also stood up for our son and told them to stop, but the grandparents just ignored us and said we were being sensitive.The situation just escalated and it became clear that the grandparents had no intention of stopping. I didn't want my son to feel any more uncomfortable or embarrassed. This was not the first time that his step-grandparents had made these kinds of jokes about him. It was becoming a regular occurrence at family gatherings, and my son was getting increasingly upset each time. I felt like I needed to step in and put a stop to it, so I decided to take him and leave the gathering.My son was quiet on the way home, but when I asked him how he was feeling, he simply replied, "I'm adopted." This broke my heart and I could tell he was hurt by the whole situation, and I feel terrible that I hadn’t done anything until yesterday.I'm now considering never meeting the grandparents again because, as I said before, this has happened more than once, and I don't want my son to continue to be the target of their jokes.My husband was not happy with my decision to leave and thought it was going too far. He complained that I was overreacting and that I should have stayed and dealt with his parents. He told me that it was his family and that I needed to be more understanding.Was I the asshole?UPDATE!: I just had a heart-to-heart conversation with my son and I'm left completely shocked by his confession. Apparently, they say even worse things (I will not give details) when my husband and I are not around and my son had never said anything because he didn't want to cause problems and upset anyone. I am absolutely appalled by what I have learned and after our discussion I have made the decision to NEVER visit my husband's parents again, as I will not subject my son to any further emotional harm. This is straight up abuse and I am even considering suing them. I will definitely have a talk with my husband.

AITA for standing up for my son and causing a scene at the family gathering?

NTA

10vr330

My (43F) husband (41M) and I are in the thick of it with three kids (6, 4, 6mo), 2 dogs (that I wanted), and an assortment of lizards, snakes, fish, etc that are his pets.When he agreed we could get a dog it was with the caveat that I would pick up after the dog(s). Which I have done for the 3+ years we have had them (even when 9 months pregnant in the summer).Tonight, I came home from an urgent care appointment for myself around the time when my kids would normally all be going to bed. I needed to nurse the baby and put him down, and help my husband put the 6 and 4 down as well (because he skips things like teeth brushing, books, and pajamas if I don't).I'm obviously not feeling well (sinus infection), and walked in to find that one of the dogs clearly had a stomach issue sometime during the day. There was poop on the floor of the nursery and on the floor of the room the big kids share.The baby was crying because he was hungry. Bedtime needed to be started. The kids cannot go to sleep in rooms with poop in them.His solution was to just have everyone sleep in our room until I could get to the poop cleanup, because he absolutely was not doing it.I pretty much begged, saying that I'm sick and I need to feed the baby and that's something he can't do, and can't he just help me out this once?He refused, saying it makes him sick, and he didn't want the dogs in the first place because he was done cleaning up after pets.I ended up putting the baby down and letting him fuss while I picked up poop, flushed it, and wiped the carpets in a cursory clean-up before nursing the baby and putting everyone to bed an hour later than normal.Was I wrong to ask for help even though he did explicitly say he wasn't cleaning up after the dogs? Or is this something a good partner would have done without throwing some 3 year old agreement in my face when our lives have changed significantly (a third baby) since it was made?EDITING TO ADD: I love my dogs. I work from home and take care of them all day, letting them in and out, giving good boy/girl treats, going for walks, picking up after them, getting them to their annual appointments, grooming appointments, dosing heartworm and flea medicine timely, and giving them pets/snuggles quite regularly.

AITA for asking my husband to pick up dog poop even though he didn't want dogs

NTA

10vq5jp

So for some background I (about to turn 18 nonbinary) don't currently live with either of my parents. However I am supposed to be at my mom's house every other weekend. To explain a bit, one of my moms exes (X) reported to CPS that my mom and her boyfriend (MB) were violating his parole again. MB isn't supposed to be around kids due to an incident that happened years ago. From what I know he was in a bar and took a girl home that he didn't realize was underage. My mom and him have been caught not following his no kids allowed rule before. However he didn't get in trouble beyond a slap on the wrist.On to the current issue. Just before Christmas I was told that my mom had lost all custody of my sibling and me temporarily due to an issue with MB. At the time I thought that more drama was just being stirred up by X as he had pulled shit before on my Mom like calling the cops when it was her weekend and random CPS calls, tho those stopped a while ago.C (my guardian) and my Dad weren't allowed to tell me much. But they could tell me that the report had something to do with MB. I was confused because my mom had gone and taken the classes and such to become a community support person for MB after the last incident. So Just a misunderstanding right?Wrong. I got to see the list of rules my mom signed when she became a community support person. They had broken at least half of them. Which ones I won't get I to cause word limit. So, when the social worker came to my school to talk to me, I didn't lie. In fact I gave more information then she asked.Well, what I told the social worker was brought up in the emergency hearing. It is safe to say my mom is pissed. Other than today, I haven't talked to her since Christmas Eve. When she was allowed to come to my dad to see me and my siblings for Christmas.I reached out to her today though. Part of it was to get her to transfer my money from the savings account she opened for me into my debit account so I can start managing my own money. But I also asked if we could find a time for me and her to talk. She said we could, but it'd be hard. She's doing a bunch of interviews for a second job, and doesn't have much free time.I feel like I might be an asshole cause from what I know a large part of her need for a second job is because of MB going back to jail so there's only her income. The social worker never asked about him breaking rules. I'm the one that brought it up. (My dad had shown me the rule sheet when I'd been at his house.So, AITA for telling the social worker the whole truth and causing my stepdad to go back to jail, resulting in my mom struggling with money?TLDR: My moms boyfriend isn't supposed to be around kids, and when CPS found out and questioned me on it, I told the truth and gave more information. Resulting in him going to jail and my mom to struggle with money.

AITA for giving CPS information that got my stepdad put in jail, causing my mom to struggle financially?

NTA

10vtnsw

Our hot water line started leaking late Friday night. I (29F) worked all weekend. My husband was home with our 2 year old while I was working. He worked on calling companies to come out and quote us to fix everything. Two companies showed up today, one quoted an 8K fix and could do it the next day, the other was 4K but can't get to it until Friday. The location of the leak was in a joint of the outgoing hot water pipe off of the water heater. The two heaters we have, aren't actually broken but are 15 years old and showing signs of wear and tear. My husband wants to replace everything so we decided we will be getting a tankless water heater. This entire time, I felt like all we needed to do was fix the outgoing pipe but was fine replacing everything so no further issues down the line.Today, 3rd day without hot water, I asked again if we could at least just fix the pipe so we could have hot water while waiting for Friday. My husband flipped. He said I was being privileged, entitled and impatient and how ridiculous I am that I can't wait until Friday. I was sick of it so I drove to home depot, asked a worker, got the proper parts and repaired the pipe in less than an hour including my time at home depot. Everything if functioning well, no leaks and lovely hot water flowing. I even put a water alarm next to the water heaters just in case.For context, within the last month, our basement flooded due to a storm, had a solar issue, had an outdoor gas leak, we have a 3k repair for his truck needed and will have to pay 5k in taxes. We have a ton of unexpected expenses all happening at once. I know he is stressed and feeling inadequate but he is so mad that I fixed that dang pipe myself. Am I in the wrong? Am I privileged for simply wanting some hot water?

AITA for fixing our hot water leak myself?

NTA

10vtfmg

My (25m) fiancé (24f) are new parents to our baby boy as of 7 months ago. The pregnancy was unplanned but we were happy to keep the baby as I make good money in a stable career as an engineer. Everything has been going wonderfully so far, besides of course the normal new parent/baby difficulties, until this week when my fiancé told me it would be best if I got rid of my current car and bought a new SUV (she means NEW from the dealership, she doesn't believe in used cars for whatever reason). Her reasoning is that is unsafe to put a baby car seat in a 2 door car, despite the fact that the baby has only been in my car twice, riding in my fiancés suv the vast majority of the time.I told her that I didn’t think it was unsafe but that I’d do some research and that if it is that we could explore solutions. I looked into it that night, and according to every source I could find it seems that it is perfectly safe to have a car seat in the back seats of a 2 door car as long as it fits properly (which our car seats does). I told her that there was no need to worry as it should be perfectly safe. She interrupted and demanded that I should just grow up and make the right decision. She said that as a father my priority should be my son and not my “sports car”, to which I responded that he is my priority but that these things don’t conflict. She won’t budge.I explained to her that a new base level SUV costs about double what I could sell my car for (her car was gifted to her by her parents and is worth about three times what mine is). I snapped and accused her of using our son as an excuse to force me to get rid of my car. I’ll spare the worst details but safe to say she was the most angry I have ever seen her. I apologized for for accusing her but added that she was being irrational and had no logical basis for why I couldn’t keep the car. This did not help and no she has gone to sleep without speaking to me for the past few hours. Am I the asshole?For more context: I drive a 2012 BMW 335i that I bought when I was 22, a few months after landing my first engineering gig after college. I wouldn’t say it’s a sports car exactly, its sporty, but it’s not particularly fast or small and is about as practical as a two door car can get. I ADORE this car, I do almost all of the maintenance myself along with some minor mods I did to make the car exactly how I wanted. The only wrenching I have done on this car since he was born was changing the oil which she threw a fit over because I was “avoiding my parenting duties” and just could not seem to understand that changing the oil is EXTREMELY CRUCIAL to keeping it running as reliably as possible.My fiancé has always hated my car. She would make comments about it being a “toy” and complain about how small it is, also saying that it makes me look like a douchebag. She always got upset when I would take a few hours out of my weekend to install a new part or to fix or replace something. AITA?

AITA for not selling my car as my fiance demands?

NTA

10vkkls

my parents divorced when i (27F) was younger and ever since there’s been a huge divide between my family. my mom (44F) remarried a year later but my dad (45M) never remarried. he’s had a few girlfriends but nothing too serious. last year he introduced us to his latest girlfriend, we’ll call her Bessy (42F). my mom wasn’t a fan of bessy for unknown reasons so whenever there was an event that my dad was needed for (birthdays, graduations etc) she’d specifically ask that bessy wasn’t there. my dad respected this and never brought her to save having arguments. a couple weeks ago, my sister (22F) announced that she was 2 months pregnant and that her baby shower would be in a couple weeks from then. my sister has gotten along with bessy ever since she met her and there’d never really been any arguments between her and my mom or my dad so she invited all 3 parties and my moms new husband. everything was fine at the baby shower until the gender was revealed. my sister was going to have a baby boy. we were all over the moon for her because we all knew how much she wanted a son. bessy then said she had to get something out of the car and whilst she was gone my mom exploded at my dad. she kept asking why he brought that woman to an event that has nothing to do with her and only referred to bessy as “that woman” or worse names. i told my mom that today was my sisters day and it didn’t matter who was there as long as my sister wanted them to be there. my mom then started crying and was saying that i was siding with bessy even though i’d only known her for around a year and that it wasn’t fair. i then told her that life wasn’t fair and that she was spoiling my sisters baby shower. bessy came back and she was carrying a cake with her (bessy is a baker so it wasn’t surprising that she’d brought one). we all tried to ignore my moms outburst but she was still crying so bessy asked her what was wrong. my sister was in the other room with her fiancée cutting the cake so my mom took it as another opportunity to shout. she said bessy had ruined the day by being there and that she was unable to enjoy herself whilst bessy was there. bessy tried to defend herself but my mom wouldn’t let her talk. my sister came back in with the cake and before we could react, my mom took the cake out of her hands and threw it at bessy. i told my mom she was out of order and that she had gone too far and bessy didn’t deserve that because she wasn’t doing anything but being nice all day. my mom and her husband then left as well as my dad and bessy whilst i helped my sister clean up the mess. when i got home i had multiple missed calls and messages from my mom and her husband telling me that i was being a bad daughter because i was sticking up for somebody who wasn’t even in the family. she said that id betrayed her and that she didn’t want me to be her daughter anymore. i don’t think i’ve done anything wrong but she seems really upset and her husband isn’t helping to calm her down so AITA?

AITA for siding with my dads new girlfriend over my mom

NTA

10vi0gz

I (28f) was eating lunch with my friend Valerie (28F) at a restaurant on the outdoor patio. Valerie is a big fan of The Bad Guys movie and has a crush on Mr Wolf, and ships her persona with him. During our meal, she was complaining about how fans of The Bad Guys think Mr Wolf and Mr Snake are a gay couple even though Wolf clearly loves Diane Foxington. She then mentioned an animated series she’s planning and how she doesn’t want people changing her own straight characters.I noticed the 2 women at the next table felt increasingly uncomfortable. While I couldn’t determine the relationship between them, I figured they could be a lesbian couple based on their reactions to Valerie’s words. The pair had hurried to finish eating, leave a tip, and apparently complained to the manager about what they overheard at our table. The manager then approached us, turned to Valerie and said “Ma’am, you’re gonna have to leave for using hateful language.” Valerie doesn’t drive, but I wanted to finish my meal AND I didn’t want her in my car due to the attitudes she expressed and the fit she threw. Valerie then told me I “betrayed” her by denying her a ride home, even though it’s MY car and since I was getting upset too, it wouldn’t be safe to drive while distracted.She gave up, stomped out and across the street. I understand that she took Uber home, when her sister texted me saying “You abandoned Valerie in the middle of town? For real?”AITA for having Valerie on her own when she was removed from the restaurant?

AITA for refusing to drive my friend home when she was thrown out of a restaurant?

NTA

10vrusr

This sounds so ridiculous but it happens way more often than you might think. Me (29F) and my boyfriend (40M) have been living together for about two years now, and he has an awful habit of leaving the toilet seat up, especially at night. I wake up a couple times at night to pee thanks to a weak bladder, and every second counts when I'm hustling through the dark and trying not to trip on my cats. Hell, every second counts during the day when I'm trying not to piss myself. And since the bathroom is RIGHT there, I don't turn the light on to avoid disturbing him and waking myself up. It's pretty dim, but not pitch black, so I can vaguely see where I am relative to everything else. But so far this year (Feb 2023) I've sat in cold ass water twice. Then I'm wide awake, and my scream of surprise and cold wakes HIM up, so we're both wide awake regardless. I've told him a dozen times or more to put it down, but he just tells me to give it a quick wave to be sure I'm not about to take an impromptu bath. He has some memory problems due to a childhood accident, so I have a feeling he's not intentionally leaving it up to mess with me (and why would he, since we both get interrupted sleep when it happens at night?) but it seems like such a simple ask. So last night I snapped and yelled at him when it happened for the THIRD time. He says I'm being an ass for yelling and not letting it go because it doesn't happen "that often". So, AM I the asshole?

AITA for snapping at my boyfriend for leaving the toilet seat up?

YTA

10vgu37

My boyfriend gets upset when I google something after we disagree. For example, yesterday we were talking about credit scores and I mentioned a surprising factor that can lower your credit score that I had read in an article a while ago. He disagreed with me, but did not have any reason to back it up other than that being his opinion and he’s never heard that before and if it’s true he would have heard it from his parents who have amazing credit scores (Note: we’re in our 20s and he just got a credit card in his own name this year. Also does not work in the finance industry or have any special knowledge on the topic).In these situations, I like to check that what I’m saying is true by googling it, since I want to make sure I’m not giving out wrong information and to also back up my claims. However, this angers him a lot. He says my googling “ruins the conversation” and he’s not even interested in the topic anymore by the time I get an answer (regardless of how quick I look it up). He also says there’s no point in a conversation if I have to google things. This leads us to the same unproductive argument every time. I’m having a hard time seeing his side of things and am just plain confused why this is such an issue? It isn’t about me being right or wrong- I just want to fact check to know what the legitimate answer is so we don’t go around continuing to spread incorrect information and also just to learn accurate info?Another example: we were talking about a celebrity and disagreed on who they were married to, but he didn’t want me to look it up to find out? I’m baffled.AITA for not validating/seeing his side??

AITA for fact checking things?

NTA

10vq7xv

I (21f) work with a girl, let’s call her V (18f). About two days ago I wasn’t wearing makeup to work. For some context, I am very insecure without makeup. It’s probably the biggest insecurity I have and I try to avoid going makeup-free usually as I constantly feel like people are judging me. V comes into work and immediately asks if I feel okay, I say yeah I’m fine. She then proceeds to tell me that I look like shit not once but twice. I was shocked. I said I’m not wearing makeup and all she said was oh okay, no apology or anything. I gathered my thoughts and tell her a few minutes later that what she said was fucked up. She denied saying it and said I sound like shit, which is untrue, I wasn’t sick at all. I immediately felt crushed. It really sucked going to work makeup-free and being told I look like shit. I was so embarrassed and insecure I could barely work. I told my manager and an incident report was filed. A few days pass and of course we are the only two girls working together in the store. She tried to be nice when I came in but I didn’t give her the time of day. I spent the night she told me that bawling and very upset. It really hurt having my biggest insecurity pointed out like that. Because of this, I could not keep my cool with her. When no customers were around I told her how rude it was to say that and not apologize and that she was a jealous and insecure person. I was literally shaking with anger and telling her “how could you f****** say say that to anyone.” I was so upset she asked me to calm down. Both my parents and my boyfriend think I’m the a-hole for raging at her. And to be clear I was very, very pissed. I usually can control my anger but this pushed me over the edge. She left early and now I don’t know if I’m the a-hole. Also, yes I know being this insecure is why lashed out, but is it okay to go around telling your coworkers they look like shit knowing they have no makeup on? I’m afraid of getting fired now for my outburst. Feel free to be as brutally honest as you can.

AITA for Telling My Coworker She’s Jealous and Insecure?

YTA

10vol97

\*This is a story from my friend. She's using my account to write her story. A few days ago, my family and I were celebrating my step-sister (Anna) birthday. Her birthday is two weeks after mine. My mother lives in a different state so she sent me birthday gifts by mail. I live with my father, step-mother and step-sister. For Anna's birthday, we organized a party at home with a bunch of her friends. As we were opening the gifts, she teared up a letter with two tickets in it. There was a note that she only read for herself, and I automatically knew why when she said her next sentence. Anna said: "Awww, that's so sweet. Your mother as brought me tickets for (the artist name)." I knew those were mine because it was concert tickets of my favorite singer. I told Anna that they were mine, but she refused to listen. I then asked her to show me the note, but again she refused. I was getting annoyed and angrier, so I went up to her and yanked the paper from her hands. Obviously, I was right, so I read out loud the note from my mother in front of everyone. Anna was embarrassed, her cheeks were burning red and she left crying. Her friends left founding the situation and her attitude pathetic. Now, my dad grounded me, my step-mother hates me and Anna doesn't want to speak to me. Am I selfish? I'm trying to have a better relationship with my mother and I know that she worked a lot to afford the tickets. It meant so much for me, but now my dad took them and said that he would see what he would do with it. My step-mother suggested me to invite Anna as an *apology* since theirs two places, but I know that the second one was meant for my mother. What should I do? AITA for causing that scene and ruining her birthday party?

AITA for making a scene on my step-sister birthday?

NTA

10vgqbt

(English is not my native language, sorry for grammar)I (30f) am childfree. Don't want them, never have, never will. I'm getting my tubes tied in approximately 1,5 months. My parents have always said, "You'll change your mind when you're older." Yeah, no.I know that my mum will try to talk me out of the surgery if I tell her. WIBTA, if I don't tell them, so that they'll just keep waiting for me to "change my mind"? I feel kind of shitty since it's a surgery, what if something happens, you know....EDIT: a friend will travel with me and wait at the hospital (it's in a town 6h away) and my boyfriend will take care of me when I get home. He stays at home to take care of my cats.EDIT 2: Thank you ❤️

WIBTA if I don't inform my parents about upcoming surgery?

NTA

10vna1k

Four years ago my (32M) sister and her husband died in a car accident, leaving their twin babies (now 5M and 5F) behind. My husband (35M) and I decided to adopt them after the accident. Getting the twins was very unplanned.I have always worked a job where I work on the weekends and am off on Wednesdays and Thursdays. This schedule is very normal in my field and in order for my schedule to change, I'd either need to change careers or get into upper management, where my job would be so different I'd basically be changing careers. I've known some people that have occasional weekends off but it's always a fluctuating schedule. My husband works a traditional Monday through Friday. When the twins were young, this worked out great because they were only in daycare for 3 days a week, so it meant we had more financial flexibility. This past fall, the twins started school. On the days both me and my husband work, the twins are in an afterschool program until one of us can pick them up. On the days I'm off, I do a lot of chores and errands during the day (cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prepping) and pick up the twins right after school. If the twins need any medical appointments, they happen on my days off. My husband has them during the day on the weekends.A few days ago, my husband pulled me aside and said that he was upset that he was doing more parenting than I was. I asked what he meant. He said that he had the kids fully 2 days a week and I only had them some afternoons and that he had them more. I asked "Is there something I can do to balance it out?" He said that I needed to be home on the weekends to take care of the kids. I said I could only maybe take some weekends off. He said that wasn't good enough and that I was making excuses so I could "keep sitting around doing nothing all day" when I'm off. He apparently thinks I should switch careers for our family. This turned into a pretty heated argument and we're both still mad. We haven't come to a solution yet but I'm pretty freaked out that I'm in the wrong and I just don't realize it. AITA?

AITA for not splitting childcare evenly with my husband?

NAH