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10uj9t2 | Recently I’ve been feeling a lot more negative, I have been having a lack of patience with people and things and have had a tough time with work feeling overburdened and overwhelmed with information. This all sounds very much like cry me a river.In the car, on our way home, I was being told I don’t do anything with my friends and if I’m not careful I’ll lose them. I told them how I’m tired and just happy doing what I do. They proceeded to carry on saying how I should be doing things and how I’m wasting my life, not going to the pub or meeting up with them elsewhere. I have other friends who don’t even go out unless it’s a birthday… this is a common occurrence the persistent dialogue that I don’t go out. Then I snapped. I shouted and said how I am happy doing what I do, if my friends what to sit in a pub, that’s fine, if my parents want to sit in a cafe all day, that’s fine, and if my girlfriend wants to go out and shop that’s fine, but we are all going to die eventually and that it doesn’t matter what we do, as that’s what happens in the end. So, let me do what I want to do and if I decide to go out, I will. Now my dad asked me if I am done going off on one and my girlfriend called me pessimistic. I don’t want to be viewed or be pessimistic and need to know how to change that how can I rewire my brain if this is how I’m being but also AITA here? | AITA for blowing my top at my family and Gf | NTA |
10uovm6 | I (35M) and my partner (37M) do not have major arguments or disagreements but this incident yesterday is re-occurring and has been going on for years. First thing after eating my breakfast I was washing the dishes I dirtied when partner came over and went to dump his glass into the overflowing part of the sink that had probably a week and a half or two weeks worth of his dishes stacked up.Made a comment that he should probably wash those as some had been there for over a week now. He tried to argue it has not been until I pointed out a storage container that had remains from something I made almost two weeks prior. Annoyed, he said that there wouldn't be so many dirty dishes if I didn't stick the leftovers in those containers and since I put them in those containers initially they're "my" dishes to wash because he never puts them in those. Note that in almost ten years together, I can count on both hands the amount of times he's actually cooked food.Something finally came undone in me and instead of getting angry I looked at him and said going forward there will be no issues with him and these dishes from him eating leftovers. He asked what I meant by that and I said going forward when we go for groceries I will focus on my groceries to make my own meals and he can focus on his. He laughed it off thinking I was joking.Later on at the store, I went out of my way to buy things that I knew he would not eat due to his very picky eating habits (No red meat, no fish, no dairy except some type of cheese that I do not care for, etc). Instead of getting chicken, I got steak. Instead of ground turkey, I got ground beef. For the stir fry I usually make, I got beef broth to flavor it with.He noticed immediately at the start of the trip when I grabbed the ground beef and he made a comment that I grabbed the wrong pack. I replied I did not and I am getting it for my meals I'm making for the week - told him he's more than welcome to get his own turkey. He scoffed and immediately started furiously texting someone.He got two small items the entire trip and didn't say a word. We were supposed to go meet some mutual friends for lunch that he had set up a date for but he ended up canceling and has only said a handful of words to me since yesterday. Our mutual friend sent me a text and asked why I was being such a dick, implying that since I know he is working a "new" job where he is not making as much money and probably cannot afford groceries on his own. I didn't really think about this because he can afford his half every other time, but now he cannot when I tell him he'll have to buy and prepare his own food?I thought it was reasonable reaction but the fact partner is still calling me an asshole to mutual friends and the one sending me messages are making me feel like maybe I it's not.AITA? | AITA for only buying and cooking food that I will eat at home after an argument over basic chores? | NTA |
10uyo30 | This made me upset and anxious and apparently that is an issue. Is it wrong of me too expect too be talked about especially if they’re talking about family and kids I know myself I’m super proud of my partner and would be telling almost everyone I met about my family and partner not just my kids. | AITA Partner started a new job today and has told new boss and all co workers about herself and her kids but when I asked if id been mentioned or having a partner I was told that no one had asked that and that talking about my kids is important but talking about a partner isn’t. | NTA |
10umx0s | repost since I made too many errors the first time.I’ll spare all the nitty gritty, but I live with two girls, we’ll call them maria and kate.Maria, I hate. She’s filthy. For context, I regularly clean her pee, pubes, and period blood and she left her cat shit on the KITCHEN FLOOR for 3 MONTHS. (There’s too much more).kate is (was) one of my best friends. maria stopped talking to me a while ago (whatever, don’t really like her) but neither maria or kate do any communal chores, so I text every garbage day “hey could someone take out the trash?” (normally resulting in me just doing it).This happened again 2 trash days ago (10 days). I sent the text to the group then texted kate privately since she was about to walk out the door past the garbage.“Hey, if maria doesn’t take out the trash do you mind doing it? I feel like I constantly ask people to help and they say they will but just don’t and it’s getting old.”kate: “dude i was literally in (hometown) last weekend, but yeah”kate had left for home again but I was feeling bothered about the interaction so I texted her that essentially, I wasn’t trying to be rude I’m just asking for help and that if she felt offended about that statement then maybe she should reflect on it since I wasn’t trying to inherently single her out in a malicious way, just let her know that I feel there are some issues with the communal chores being done equally (and that I wouldn’t be comfortable texting this to maria, she wouldn’t respond anyway). I also let her know that I love her, that i’m not trying to be mean, i’m not mad, and that I hope she gets home safe.Also, this is something I would’ve and have said to her face if she wasn’t driving. We’ve had these conversations before and it’s been fine. as I said, BFF.anyway, kate hasn’t talked to me in 10 days. they’ve been avoiding me at all costs, scoffing and shaking their heads when I walk past, and whispering outside my door. it just hurts.thanks guys.tldr: I asked my roommate to take out the trash and when she responded w attitude (for lack of better word) i told her to reflect on her actions. did I take it too far? is this ridiculous? | AITA for asking roommate to take out trash? | NTA |
10uc3u4 | Me (24F) my mother (56F) and my sister (26F) are going on a weekend trip to Dublin soon. We'll be gone Thursday to Sunday are we're mostly going there to visit the grave and pay our respects to a family friend that unfortunately passed away during lockdown. We're traveling from another country in Europe.Our mother has very generously offered to pay for the flight itself, but we're splitting everything else. I'm a little picky about hotels, so I offered to look around and make some suggestions. They said great and just asked that breakfast would be included. I quickly discovered that hotels in central Dublin were a little extra expensive the weekend we're going, don't know why but it doesn't matter since the flights are already booked. A lot of hotels were around 2 000 € for three people and three nights, which I knew was way too expensive. I found one where rooms for three people with separate beds cost about 1 400 € for the entire stay, in total. Breakfast was included, it was close to the city center and judging by the pictures I felt that I'd be more than comfortable. I didn't think that around 450 € each was crazy.Our mother thought it was great and told me to book it. My sister, however, thought it was too expensive. She has a other things planned with her friends this spring and didn't want to spend a lot on this. But even though I asked repeatedly, she didn't make any suggestions for hotels herself. A week went by and I got frustrated since I want to make sure we have someplace to stay. I told her that if she, or she and my mom, didn't want to pay that much then I could book a hotel for myself and she could book a cheaper one for her, but that I wasn't willing to compromise on my sense of safety and comfort. It'd put a damper on the entire trip. She didn't respond.I double checked with my mom who, again, told me to book it. So I did. Now my sister angry with me. She feels she was left out of the desicion and that we, I mostly, weren't considerate of her finances. She thinks we should cancel our reservation and pick something else, but now that it's done I simply don't want to. The booking was made in my name.AITA? | AITA for refusing to book a cheaper hotel room? | NTA |
10ums2j | AITA So my mom and I were doing our things, I had previously complained of the coffee that I had drunk was making me jittery and anxious. Mom decides to pick up the plates after eating lunch, and in the process, picks up my cold mug of coffee. I asked her to please bring back my coffee mug. She asked why. I told her that I needed my energy to work. She then brings back the mug of coffee stating that energy comes from food and not coffee. I was too stunned to say anything. Afterwards, I asked her to please do not repeat that phrase to me again. She complied stating that she would not say that again to me but that it was what she thought. That phrase did not help my anger and I proceeded to look at her angrily when she came into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I was still angry with her over the phrase “food provides energy, coffee doesn’t. She then told me that anyone could have told me that. She asked me if I was angry at her because she is my mom or something else. I told her it was because I had the energy to be angry at her because I had drunk coffee. She said she doesn’t believe me. I told her that it was the truth, that it wasn’t my problem if she didn’t believe me. She then told me to grow up.Edit: I have already apologized to my mother. | AITA mother daughter conflict | YTA |
10tnrz7 | This is a very uncomfortable situation to be honest. I'll try my best to not exceed the word limit and be as brief as I can.I (34F) never had the best relationship with my mother. It was not great when I was a kid but I managed. It went downhill after I came out when I was 20 and told her I had a girlfriend. I went on to marry the said girlfriend (36F- she's now my wife of 11 years - and we have 3 kids) and eventually lost contact with my mom. My relationship with my siblings was better initially (I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters, all of them older). Now I married into a very comfortable family. I would help my siblings financially, emotionally and in any way I could. I later realized that they were exploiting me for monetary reasons and stopped that but didn't lose contact with them, only for the sake of being there for my nieces and nephews.My mother passed away earlier this year at the age of 67. She had many health issues. Her lawyer contacted me to let me know she had left me a part of her belongings and some assets. I don't come from an exceptionally wealthy family but my mom was not poor at all.Considering the relationship I had with my mom, I didn't feel comfortable taking the inheritance. I asked my wife and she said it was sweet of my mom to show this act of kindness even with the relationship we had and suggested maybe I could donate it to a charity doing research or providing health services for breast cancer patients in my mom's name (which is the disease my mom died from). I loved the idea and went on to officially do that.My siblings were outraged once they found out. My mother left them all assets (though a bit less than mine). They were very angry that while this money won't make much of a difference to me, it is something that could change their lives and they needed it much more than some charity.My nephews have even reached out to called me a selfish AH because their parents were hoping to send him and his siblings to college with the said money and now couldn't. Was I wrong to do this? | AITA for donating my inheritance to charity instead of giving it to my siblings? | NTA |
10ug2wh | Today my best friend got mad at me for not asking if she was okay after she fell down the stairs. She texted that she fell down the stairs in a groupchat and I clicked on the chat but didn’t read it, because I had a guest over and I was concentrated on them. Later in PM’s when I told her about something exciting happening to me soon, she said that she wanted a change of subject and began telling me about how I was a bad friend for not asking her how she was doing after the fall. I was confused and looked in the GC to find what she was talking about. She was mad that the other friend in the GC had asked if she was okay, but her supposed best friend (aka me) didn’t ask. I asked her that since the other friend had already asked if she was okay and she answered yes, should I have then asked for a second time if she was ok? She said that I should at least react and when she has had something happen before then I haven’t asked either if she was ok. I lashed out and said that her and my phone aren’t the only things that I have in my life. She said she understood but thought that for example a complete stranger would’ve been more concerned than me if she was in the ER. I told her that my doctor suspects autism and some people on the spectrum may have problems with empathy and if I saw her say that she was ok, then usually I don’t care any further. She named 3 situations where I didn’t ask her how she was doing, for example when her cat was dying, I asked how her cat was doing but not how she herself was doing. I told her I thought the cat situation was obviously hard for her and there was no need to ask. She asked to stop and end the conversation because it was going nowhere. It confuses me because I remember a lot of times where I have asked if she was doing alright and when she’s going through a rough patch I try my best to ask it frequently (even if I don’t care that much) because I know it’s important to them. I usually don’t ask anyone if they are ok, when it’s obvious they are not ok (I’ll still try my best to be supportive in other ways) or they have followed up with saying that they are ok. AITA here? Sorry if it’s hard to understand, english is my second language. | AITA for not having empathy for my friend in some situations? | NTA |
10twne2 | I come from a developing country where women should cook, raise kids, and essentially do the domestic tasks. My parents raised me that way but I never believed it. We were taught that men bring home the paycheck and women take care of the house. It's literally in our books for the 1st to 3rd grade (padre de pamilya/head of the family/Ikaw Ng tahanan/light for the house).Except I made 5 times my husband and in the last decade or so half of the women in my country started working. So both now bring home the paycheck. Our country is the 4th country over all with more women in managerial positions than anywhere else at 59.36% but our belief system does not change that women should still carry both burden of house work and finances. I can proudly say I can hire someone to clean and cook for us the rest of the house chores and child raising are divided between me and my husband equally and our kids also have their own chores. I raised my daughters to look for a partner and not a husband. I raise them by giving them flowers, chocolates and presents that way if a guy ever "courts" them they are not blinded by material things and see a man for what he is.My daughter (16) has recently brought home a boy and is essentially, I know this makes me horrible to say but not "house trained". Leaves the dishes out for someone to clean after him, leaves his shoes on the floor. Leaves his messes lying around. Whenever he comes over I remind him of the rules of the house and recently asked him a couple of questions such as does he know how to do the laundry, does he know how to sweep the floors, does he know, how to clean or even cook. He said no to all this. His mother and sisters do this for him. I'm a firm believer that any boy that my daughter brings home to is a potential husband and has a potential to marry and be part of our family as such I want to ensure my future SIL is looking for a partner and not a maid, laundry lady, baby maker, nanny etc.On one particular Saturday I had my daughter and her boyfriend cook (our cook was on her day off). I supervised both of them, my daughter knew how to prepare the meat, cut, saute, boil, season etc and he was just mostly there handing her things. It took less than 20 minutes. We ate as normal, talked during the meal and nothing else.Later on I get a message request from my facebook account from his mother. I asked her what was wrong with that and she said I had the audacity to treat him like the help when he is treated as a prince in their house.... She said a couple of other things but what struck me is her main objection was that her son was a guest in my house and shouldn't have cooked and he was taught to cook specifically as she was my daughter's boyfriend. 1) I think I may be the A because I gave cooking lessons without consent to a guest? 2) I don't think I'm the A because it didn't hurt my daughter's boyfriend by learning a life skill. | AITA for teaching a guest how to cook? | NTA |
10ukq8z | Academically, I’ve always done better than my younger sister. When we compare her grades to mine, it’s not even close. Not to say I’m like super amazing at everything academic, but I still do well. I try to make her feel proud when she does get good grades, convince her good grades aren’t everything, and help her with her subjects, but my parents have put a lot of emphasis over our grades in the past. That sort of pressure doesn’t go away easily; I know she’s insecure about it.She has always been way more immature than she should. She takes her anger out on our whole family. She’s almost 13 and she still has tantrums. For reference, I’m not an adult, but I am an older teenager. I try to be patient with her; my brother and I tend to get the attention, and I know it takes a toll.Recently, I was trying to sleep on the couch. Unprovoked, she keeps banging a pillow on my face. This is not uncommon. She has done worse before. But I was getting annoyed with the constant harassment, especially when she had been a total jerk last night. So I started targeting some sore spots for her. “At least I’m not in remedial classes,” “I wasn’t in these classes at your age,” etc. I know it probably hurt her. I feel really bad, but I was getting so fed up. She doesn’t hold back when insulting or harassing me, but when I do anything, she always loves to play the victim. AITA?Edit: she’s not actually in remedial classes. I was just referring to her tutoring for a HS-application test. She’s not bad at learning, she doesn’t need remedial classes. I was just pissed and called tutoring “remedial.”I apologized to her. I said that she doesn’t actually have remedial classes, and that I was sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. Thanks to all of you who provided good advice. | AITA for insulting my younger sister? | YTA |
10u04bs | So, my incredible wife Jenna, two weeks after having a C-section to deliver our son (our first child), had to have another surgery when her appendix almost ruptured. As stated by her doctor, Jenna needs to be doing more resting than mothering for the next few weeks.Before Jenna came home from the second time at the hospital last week, her sister, Kelly, offered to come into town for two weeks and help us around the house while Jenna recovered, as she was between jobs and her husband didn't mind. (Note: Jenna is the youngest of 4 siblings and Kelly is the eldest, and while the two were close at one point they grew apart when Jenna moved).This worked out because I would be able to work at my part time gig/ do other chores without leaving Jenna alone. We agreed, and the first couple of days were fine, Kelly helped with a lot of the housework with no signs of trouble between them. But last night when I got home Jenna said that Kelly had been bothering her whenever I wasn't around about being more active and being critical of Jenna's food choices (ex: telling Jenna to not be lazy and get up for \_\_\_\_, and then later asking her if she really needed to eat ice cream). This boiled to a head when Kelly told Jenna something along the lines of "You are going to end up a single mother because you let yourself go" because she didn’t want to go on a walk with Kelly.This comment made Jenna upset because it was an awful thing to say, also because she has an anxiety and eating disorder... So, it made her feel super shitty for no reason. I asked Jenna if she wanted me to talk to Kelly for her, to which she said she didn’t care.I wasn't planning to confront Kelly but while Jenna was sleeping, Kelly asked me if she was still sulking. I said no, but that she was really upset. Kelly said she was only looking out for Jenna's health so that she can recover from the surgeries faster. When I mentioned the "single mother" comment she laughed, said it was a joke and called Jenna overly sensitive and hormonal for being mad about that. She showed no remorse.My exact response was "You should really leave tomorrow" I didn't say anything else; I didn't walk up to Kelly; I didn't even look at her. She asked me if I was threatening her, to which I said that I wasn’t but that her help isn’t worth making Jenna feel worse while already she’s vulnerable.Kelly ended up leaving today after telling Jenna that I'm manipulating her and not to trust me, that she's sorry about what she said but it was just a joke. She also reached out to their family and told them that I threatened her over a joke and manipulated Jenna, she also said that we were both incredibly rude and ungrateful. I feel like that isn’t at all accurate and that I was just putting my foot down for the sake of my wife’s wellbeing. | AITA for kicking my sister-in-law out over a joke, amongst other things? | NTA |
10uqafu | I just lit my husband up on not helping me when I woke up with a nasty cold this morning. He has a TBI to be fair, and he still works full time, but we’ve been married for four years and I’ve had this fight with him a million times where if I’m ill/having pms then I’d appreciate him picking up the slack a little on chores and taking care of our daughter. When he’s sick he’s insufferable, I put on my nurse hat while still handling everything around the house and the kid. When I feel incapacitated it’s like he’s just sitting on the couch playing video games waiting for me to feel better. I want to be babied sometimes too, like damn | AITA for being mad or is it even his fault? | NTA |
10uy1dm | My grandma has 6 dogs. Not one of the dogs is trained in any way. They all poop/pee in the house. My grandma is generally a clean person except for one thing. When the dogs go on the floor, she just picks up the poop/pee. She doesn't deep clean where the feces was. Maybe she does it after I leave, but based on how nonchalant she is about it, i don't think so. I have a dog at my own house, and if there is an accident, i really scrub the area thoroughly.I am watching these dogs for the next two weeks. On the very first day i got here, there were 3 piles of poop and wiped 4 piles of pee. The free roaming dogs had peed on the caged one.The dogs have to be closely monitored while outside otherwise they won't go. I also have to follow them with poop scoopers because they all eat poop if i am not quick enough. Then they jump all over me and lick me with their poopy mouths. One of them managed to sneak a frozen turd that i missed inside and crunched on it like a nice crispy treat. I chased her around, but i couldn't get it in time. she ate the whole thing. Then, when i went to bed, she puked up the entire turd on me, intact. The last time i watched them, one of them peed on me in the middle of the night.I never get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time because they wake me up to let them out, usually 3 times a night and they still poop everywhere. During the day they are let out every 1.5 hours and they still poo inside. I can't leave the house for more than 4 hours at a time, or i return to a literal shit show. Luckily, i do a hybrid work from home job so its not a huge issue. I only get paid $20 a day to watch these dogs. Someone told me that my grandma would be paying over $1000 for a professional sitter and i should charge way more. If i charged how much it would take me to watch these dogs for a stranger, there is no amount of money. I wouldn't do it. I only do it to help my grandma. She can't afford to pay more.I was telling my sister about this and she said i must spend hours cleaning everyday. i told her that i didn't clean up at all besides to pick the poop off the ground and leave shoes on at all times. I explained that our grandma didn't do more than that. The dogs poop constantly, and one licks the entire couch after eating poop. Several of the dogs are wrinkly breeds like char pei and bull dogs and need their wrinkles cleaned, but it has never been done, saying they dont need it. So they always smell. One of them is always wiping snot on everything. I don't mean a little, i mean, i got slimed like i was in ghost busters and had to change my pants. My sister said i was an asshole to not clean throughly and i kind of agree that i shoudl clean better, its how i would want my house to be treated but i don't see a point with how gross all these dogs are and the fact that my grandma does the same level of cleaning.Update: i posted this then went to bed. One of them pissed in the bed. Again. | AITA for refusing to fully clean up dog poop of dogs im babysitting? | NTA |
10uxp1w | When I was in high school I played in the orchestra and the bassoon player who was a friend of mine was gay. I personally didn't care about that at all, but I couldn't help but find it funny because a lot of the sheet music we had was in Italian or German. It just so happens that the word of bassoon in Italian is "fagotto" and in German it is "fagott" (and yes, both words mean exactly what they sound like), I assume it is because the instrument sort of resembles a bundle of sticks. My friends (the bassoon player included) all laughed about it at the time, but I can see how people today might see it as homophobic. | AITA for Laughing at the Fact that the Bassoon Player in my Orchestra was Gay | YTA |
10uegy5 | So I'm a student in middle school and every time a teacher is walking my direction I greet them.A few days back I was suppose to go and get my brother's report card since he was sick to his head teacher. My mother informed her I'll be there even though I really didn't want to go there she made me since she wanted to see how well my brother did. This one teacher is known for being a pain in the butt but I don't have her on any subject so she doesn't know me and I don't know her that well.It was time to go there so I got my best friend as a moral support and we went there. We stud there for like a minute before she walked to us and asked why we were there she didn't say hello or anything and I was in panic so I didn't. As the one that needed to talk to her I said 'I'm here for (my brother's name) report card'. To this she told me that she knew I was coming and to wait there.After this my best friend walked of and I sat on a chair that was close to there.When she got back she walked past me like I wasn't there into her Cabinet so I decided to wait a little more.After like 10-15 minutes I got up and knocked because the break was about to end. Another teacher opened the door and pointed to a sign 'if the door is open after knocking go in'. I nodded to the teacher to greet him and also like I understand. When I went in I straight asked if the teacher already had the card. She said 'what cared I can't remember all the kids that come to me and also what is the first thing that you do when you come to a cabinet?' at that point I was a little annoyed but I can't be rude to her so I didn't show it. 'I don't know... Say hello?' 'Exactly. Now go try again.' I wanted to just tell her something that I would regret but I did as she told me to.I knocked went in 'hello, can you please give me (my brother's name) report card?' I said politely. After this she did gave me it but also made me apologize and have me scolding for being rude. In the middle of this some other kids walked inside and she made them leave. I was also boiling inside the whole time.Also for reference every time I greet her in the hallway she doesn't even bother to look at me and every time she hear me. Every other teacher at least noddes or smiles if they hear me witch is 99% of the time. So Am I the asshole? | AITA for not saying hello to a teacher? | NTA |
10uif3x | Okay so basically for background i am allergic to gluten, wheat and barley. Meaning that i can not eat most foods with flour like cake etc. I am grateful though that my family still manages to get me things that i can eat from the shop like biscuits etc. that are gluten free. However, its become a daily occurence (or i have really just realised now) that for my family's birthdays they get fast food or food i can't eat, eg.- for some reason they always get fried chicken and usually small fries on birthdays. Meaning that i cant really eat anything. So i complained to my parents, that maybe they could get me something i can eat, so i don't just watch them eat. and they called me ungrateful and a brat for asking for food like this. Even the birthday cake i cant eat as well. Also side note the fries they usually get for me but they end up eating it and asking me for it- anyways. and if i get annoyed they again call me ungrateful. So ive stopped asking for stuff like this, since i dont wanna make a scene or be rude but i am still upset that they all eat whilst i am just sitting there. So AITA?​SIDE NOTE- I should've mentioned that its only in these cases my family doesn't bother getting me similar things- they give me everything i need and care for me otherwise, I honestly think they don't realise what they are doing. Maybe i should talk to them about it again, but idk. | AITA for asking for something to eat like everyone else? | NTA |
10ujjd2 | AITA for flaking on plans due to a depressive episode?I had plans with friends to do a Christmas dinner and games day in December. We went out together the night before and when I woke up I felt hungover and very low. I wasn't in the mood to hang out and I know I should've texted them to let them know but I just couldn't bring myself to reach out and contact anyone with the headspace I was in. The day still went ahead without me and I know they had a good time. Afterwards I apologised and have tried numerous times since then to talk to them but they have been icing me out for over a month. I live with two of them and they don't speak to me in the house and will leave the room if I enter. I know I was an asshole in the first place to not explain my absence/how I was feeling but do I have a right to feel like what they're going is just as bad, if not worse? We're meeting up this weekend to discuss things and I don't know if I should just be apologetic and contrite or if I have the right to call out their subsequent behaviours too. Basically, I feel like it's kinda an ESH situation but would like to hear from objective outsiders if it's more YTA than not. My friends obviously think they are totally in the right. | AITA for flaking on plans due to a depressive episode? | YTA |
10ux796 | So my boyfriend (20m)-i’ll call him jay- and I (20f) smoke cigarettes, vape, and the devils lettuce. My boyfriend smokes those 2 quite more than I do, which I don’t have a problem with. We feel like in a way vaping is worse than smoke cigs because you can sit inside all day and vape. Jay and I don’t smoke cigarettes in the house so we smoke outside and not as often as vaping. Anyways, tonight my boyfriend got home from a day trip and I went to smoke a cig. My pack of cigarettes are about half full. Jay and I got cigarettes the same day about 4 days ago. His pack is empty. Jay asked me for a cigarette and i said,“Maybe, you shouldn’t smoke so much.”His reply,“Well, I have to smoke more because I’m bigger.”I thought that was one of the stupidest things I’ve heard. I don’t think weight plays into how much you smoke. I said,“That doesn’t make sense. It’s a choice how much you smoke.”He said,“It’s like medicine. You smoke according to your body weight and how much you need.”This annoyed me because I take medicine for my borderline personality disorder and I don’t think you can compare cigarettes to medicine.I said,“You can’t compare it to medicine. Medicine usually helps you. Cigarettes don’t. All it is is just an addiction to nicotine.”Jay said,“Well people get addicted to pain killers and they need to take them.”At this point i’m irritated. He’s begging me to smoke.I said“Yeah people get addicted to pain killers, but you don’t need to take them. It’s just an addiction. You can either decide to smoke all of them or go without and you should go without”During this conversation i was smoking a cigarette. Jay said,“Then you should go without too. Put the cigarette out.”I said okay and put the cigarette out. I went to go take a dab like i do every night. I only smoke at night because when i get high it knocks me on my ass. As for my boyfriend he’s high most of the day.Jay saw me getting ready to take a dab and says“You should go without weed too. You don’t need it”I said okay and put the stuff down and got on my phone.Jay says“You’re just being petty at this point.”I said “Im not. I think you have a stupid excuse why you smoke so much and i don’t agree with your argument.”He sat down on the couch and pouted for awhile. So i threw him one of my cigs and he refused to smoke it. AITA? Maybe i was being petty, but his argument just didn’t make sense to me and irritated me.EDIT: sorry i didn’t make this clear. I know body weight has an impact on how smoking effects you. I don’t think weight affects how much you smoke. i think how bad your addiction to nicotine affects how much you smoke. but it’s also a choice how much you smoke.EDIT 2: i would also like to add i don’t ask him for his cigarettes. even when i’m out of cigs. i don’t like the kind he buys. he also did this when we were both vaping a lot. i would get disposable rechargeable vapes that would last me 2 weeks or so. he has a recharge and refillable one. he would always take my vape and rarely use his because he likes variety of flavors. i don’t use his vape either because i don’t like how it hits. he also still has his vape that he can use. | AITA for not giving my boyfriend a cigarette? | ESH |
10uedj8 | I have endometriosis, adenomyosis and painful bladder syndrome so I spend every day in alot of pain. Most days are worse but I do have the occasional good day (I will still be in pain, it's just a bit more bearable). We have two dogs as we recently got a puppy (this is relevant to the story) My husband wanted the puppy but I said I'm unable to look after her because of my health so he agreed that he will look after her. My husband got a job a couple of months ago working 8pm - 8am, 3 days on 3 days off. When he is working I have to take both dogs out throughout the days and nights, I have to feed them and clean up after the puppy. I also have to do the washing up and cooking. I cook for him most evenings, when he is working, and if I am in too much pain too I will atleast start his food for him. Every movement hurts me and the simple tasks (such as cooking) can leave me in absolute agony and the nights he is working leave me so fatigued because I am over doing it. My husband is off work now and I got Chinese last night as I was in too much pain to cook. I'm currently curled up on the sofa, pretty much in tears due to pain. I asked my husband if he can just wash me a plate and a spoon so that I can eat, he didn't even need to cook but he said no with attitude. When I am curled up and crying from pain, he won't cook for me if he isn't having any food, he won't go to the shop for me if he doesn't need anything. If we manage to go out to town (which will leave me in agony for atleast 2 days afterwards) he won't carry any of my bags if there isn't anything of his in them. Am I the asshole for expecting him to wash me a plate or atleast cook for me sometimes or wash up when I'm in absolute agony? Am I expecting too much from him? | AITA for expecting my husband to help. | NTA |
10uornk | TA accountI (M17) have a friend named “Jamal” (M17.) we have been friends since seventh grade, and are now seniors in high school. A few months ago, I started dating someone. A few weeks into our relationship, Jamal came came up to me during lunch and said he was my gf kiss another boy. I didn’t believe him and told him he was jealous that he could never get someone like mine and how he shouldn’t lie about people just because he has more money than them. He looked at me with confused expression just said wow and walked away. I later found out she was cheating on me and broke up with her. I was really hurt and wanted to talk to someone, but the only person I felt comfortable talking to was Jamal, but he hadn’t talked to me since I said that to him. I feel bad and want to apologize but I don’t think now is the right time because his birthday is soon and I don’t want to distract him with my problems. WIBTA for trying to talk to him, | WIBTA If I reached out to my friend? | YTA |
10toc16 | My (30M) fiancé (let's call him Wade, fake name) proposed to me (27F) two years ago using a family heirloom ring from my family. For more detail, it belonged to my maternal grandmother and when she passed, my mum inherited it. It has always been a fact that she will give it to one of her daughters when we grow up. We also always assumed she will give it to my sister Mercy (28F). To be clear, it's not a super expensive ring or anything. Mum added a diamond to it but it costs around the same as the average engagement ring. This might be important to the story: Mercy is my half sister, same dad different mums. Her bio mum has never been in the picture but my mum has always made it clear we are both her daughters and she loves us both. She has also always treated Mercy well.Anyway when mum gave the ring to my now fiancé to propose to me, I was pleasantly surprised but also confused. But again, mum never said who she would give the ring to. Later I talked to mum about the ring and found out mum only gave my fiancé the ring because Mercy didn't think she would ever get married.I talked to Mercy later and she confirmed this. She felt strongly against marriage and with good cause which isn't relevant here.The issue now is that Mercy has been dating this nice guy let's call him Jake (35F). He is sweet, treats her like a queen and has a cute son. He has been putting it out there that he intends to propose and even asked for our parents' blessing. Now Mercy wants the ring back.My fiancé and I didn't have any problem giving it back right after our engagement and finding another one but it has come to mean so much to us. We have been planning our wedding with my late grandma in mind and grandma only had one ring, my current engagement ring, and it's like the final touch. Other details include remaking her wedding dress, using one of her necklaces, getting a wedding band that's a perfect match to pair with the engagement ring, etc. I told Mercy this and she said we can just design a ring that looks the same. One of her reasons is 'she isn't our mum's biological daughter so she should get this one privilege. She also thinks since mum intended to give her the ring anyway, so I should give it back to her.I still think she should not have said it was okay if it wasn't, and my fiancé agrees. However, Mercy is not speaking to me and my parents have different opinions on this. So will I be the asshole if I hold onto the ring? | WIBTA if I don't give my late grandmother's engagement ring to my sister? | NTA |
10u8q9f | My mom bought me some ice cream because I bought her flowers, and she had been seeing how stressed I was lately. My mom, her boyfriend, my brother and I were sitting and eating at the table. My mom had asked before dinner that she wanted to try some ice cream, so after dinner I put ice cream in a bowl for her and left the kitchen with some in a bowl for me as well. A few minutes later my mom comes into the room and asks me why I didn't put any ice cream for her boyfriend. I said that he didn't ask for any so I thought he didn't want any. My mom goes back in the kitchen and her boyfriend comes into the room and tells me that the ice cream is in the trash outside if I wanted it, then he goes upstairs and comes back minutes later telling me to get off of the couch because I was watching Netflix in front of the tv and that he was sick of having to go upstairs to his room to watch tv there. So I left into the kitchen and balled up on the floor. Then I heard my mom and him fighting. He called me some kind of princess and how the world revolved around me, and then he started talking about this little fight I had with my teen brother after dinner. He checked the freezer and I tried to stop him as like a joke, and he found the ice cream. I told him not to eat it all because my brother is a huge guy and he eats a lot. Huge not meaning plus size, huge meaning 7 foot tall buff high schooler. My brother got all angry and said he didn't want ice cream anymore as a joke, but I kept trying to give it to him. My brother asked what the flavours were and was disgusted anyway and said that he really didn't like those flavours. So anyway my mom's boyfriend goes on about how his kids don't ever fight like that and I'm a savage for not giving him ice cream, even though my brother said he hated those flavours anyway.Also I have ADHD and maybe I missed some kind of signal from my mom's boyfriend that maybe he wanted ice cream?I feel really guilty. Maybe I'm the asshole? | AITA for not giving mom's boyfriend ice cream? | NTA |
10uisl0 | At this point, I don’t know if I’m just crazy or not. I (F/25) live with my boyfriend (M/28) and roommate (M/26). When my boyfriend and I decided to sign a lease with our roommate, who is a close friend to my boyfriend, he said that he wanted to grow up, and live in a nicer area of our city, so boyfriend and I were keeping our fingers crossed. Since moving in with him, it has been a nightmare. He spits and sneezes into blanket/hand towels (mostly mine, sometimes his own), also leaves snot and spit in the sinks. If he washes the dishes (rare occasion) he washes them by hand very poorly, then puts them back in the cabinets wet. He also hates flushing the toilet behind himself in the bathroom. I think that is gross, so I will mention it sometimes when I don’t hear him flush. I only grew up with sisters, as did my boyfriend, so we aren’t sure if that is typical dude behavior, or if he just needs to grow up. We each have mentioned it multiple time that it grosses us out, but that doesn’t seem to go anywhere. I’ve said that if he doesn’t want to flush then he can go outside to pee in the backyard (something they used to do often at my boyfriends old house), but he said our neighbors would probably see him.So Am I the Asshole for asking him to flush the toilet? | AITA for Telling my Roommate to flush the toilet? | NTA |
10u8xff | My Dad (56M) was ordering pizza on phone, he has a naturally very quiet voice, so, we ended up getting a vegetarian pizza when we ordered something completely different, at first, we just decided that we would eat it, after all, it was one pizza and just a harmless mistake.However, when we all sat down to eat it, my Mom (43F) kept on loudly complaining, saying to my Dad that the reason why we got the order was because of his quiet voice, berating him and not letting it go the entire time we ate. Meanwhile, my Dad was just sitting there in silence, looking clearly bothered but not saying anything. Eventually, I had enough of it, I just wanted to eat my pizza and piece and my Mom was making it very hard to do that. So, I loudly told her that she was being annoying.My Mom doesn't take well to criticism and my family is all under the belief that you have to respect your elders. So, she got very upset at this, she began to cry and say how rude I was to her. I know that this story sounds a bit silly, considering that this all stemmed from pizza, but, AITA? | AITA for calling my Mom annoying and making her cry | NTA |
10uo1mz | (Throwaway because he knows my Reddit.) My partner (25M) and I (25M) share a tiny apartment. I'm employed and am the primary breadwinner for the house; he is on benefits and spends most of the day on his computer. Usually, I'm the one who cooks, does laundry, and takes care of our pets. We recently agreed that he would take on more responsibilities and start helping around the house, starting with taking care of the laundry when it got full. Now I'm *very* ADHD, and I know that no matter how often I check my pockets, something always ends up in the hamper anyway. Sometimes that's my chapstick, meaning the clothes need to be spot-treated and rewashed afterward. When I do laundry, I dump out the hamper, sort clothes into lights and darks, and check all pockets (both of ours) as I go. My partner thinks this is ridiculous and throws the whole hamper into the washing machine. He claims it should be my responsibility to ensure my pockets are empty before they go into the hamper; I agreed with the caveat that we should be checking pockets and sorting laundry every time. We got into a big fight about this and I'm wondering if I'm being too picky/irresponsible here. Should I sort my clothes before he does the laundry? Note: I'm still usually the person who puts it away, even when he does it. | AITA for not ensuring my pockets are empty before putting my clothes in the hamper? | YTA |
10teltn | I (19yr/old F) have always been very close to my dads side of the family's grandparents. My grandparents and my dad and I have travelled across the country together and my dad and I visited at least once a week while growing up. My dad has an older brother and sister each with their own sets of children. I am my dads only child. In December 2022, my grandmother passed away from a very aggressive form of cancer. My dad and I were her primary caregivers throughout her final weeks of life as she wanted to pass at home. One day as I was sitting with my grandmother she gave me her wedding and engagement rings as a 19th birthday present. I was completely shocked but flattered to be gifted these rings. But, this gift upset my entire family as I was not the next in line to receive them. Shortly after her death, my grandfather received my grandmothers life insurance check. While eating dinner with my grandfather, he told me he has decided to use my grandmothers life insurance check to pay for my tuition and housing at college because that is what my grandmother would have wanted. My aunt (dads sister) is helping my grandfather manage all of his finances now that my grandmother has passed. When my grandfather told my aunt about his plans for the money, she was furious. My aunts daughter was next in line to receive the rings I was gifted. My aunt and her children rarely came around when my grandparents were healthy as they live 2 hrs away. I was ALWAYS at my grandparents house growing up. I feel like if I was gifted the rings and my grandfather willingly decided to pay for my tuition I have no reason to feel like the asshole, but I do. My entire extended family is upset with me. AITA? Should I give the rings to the next in line granddaughter? Selfishly, I want to keep the rings as my grandmother wanted me to have them but I also don't want to lose my family over them.EDITED TO ADD: I guess I used the words "next in line" out of context. My aunts daughter (my cousin) is the oldest granddaughter and was "supposed" to inherit the rings. My grandmother was completely coherent when she gave me the rings and asked me to take them off of her fingers and then she slipped them onto mine. It is one of my favorite memories of my grandmother now. I have decided to keep the rings and accept the life insurance / tuition money. Thank you everyone for your kind words and I hope this edit clears up any questions! | AITA for receiving my grandmothers wedding rings and a paid tuition? | NTA |
10ujd61 | Whenever i find an interesting game, i would invite my friend.We like to play rank together but at some point i feel the need to take a break.He's very competitive in gaming and im not so he'd be left playing until he get 2 or 3 ranks higher than me.When i get the energy to play again, it's hard for me to keep up to the gameplay because most of the players we match are in the same rank to his.It spoils the game for me and it makes me feel like im really bad at it especially when we lose streak. I end up always quitting games because i cant enjoy it.He'd always invite me and i always make excuses because i dont want to play anymore.Sometimes i play only because i didnt want him to feel like i didnt want to hangout with him. Sometimes he'd sarcastically tell me how to play and it annoys me. I know how to play and im playing bad on purpose.I am not annoyed because i feel like he's better than me , in fact i even encourage him to join competitions, it's just i cant keep up and i want to work my way up on my own pace.I feel like i dont get the chance to play with people on the same tier rank than me like im being forced to deal with his tier. I already told him i dont feel confident playing and he assures me that it doesnt matter too and it's just for fun but he's the only one having fun.i dont really want to think too much of it, i dont want to feel bad about it. games for me are supposed to be relaxing and fun not the reason to stress me out.So AITA for not wanting to play with my friend? | AITA for not wanting to play with my friend | NTA |
10tsykb | Did this on a throwaway for personal reasons, but figured I had to get this off my chest.I (22f) have a friend (23f) who is in a pretty rough situation here - she never does tell people the full story but she got laid off her job and has lost her home, long story short it's been tough shit for her.I did start letting her stay in the house with her two kids (5f neurodivergent), (4f neurotypical but very bratty) giving her access to food shelter etc. Only problem is, her kids are the most annoying entitled brats you could ever meet - you'd think surely they'd be more humble considering the situation?This one event however absolutely takes the fucking cake. I can't remember which one but one of these annoying kids treads on one of my best items of clothing and it rips. I get they are children and all but still Jesus Christ... I had to kick my friend out the house because of this, and, well, there you have it. I may have gone a bit overboard but idk.​AITA?EDIT: it wasn't an abrupt thing, i apologised but told them i needed them to leave given enough time | AITA for denying my friend access to my house? | NTA |
10ucklm | Me (14f) and my two friends (13f) are in the same class. They usually don't have any of the supplies when it comes to art class so they asked to borrow mine. I let them borrow my paint the last few classes since I had burnt my hand with hot oil and wasn't able to draw or paint anything. My hand has now gotten better and i started packing my art supplies when i noticed that most of my paint has been ruined. Let me mention that as an artist I hate when things aren't perfect and love my art supplies more than anything. Anyways when i opened the bag with paint i noticed that half of the tubes weren't closed so they dried out and the other half was completely empty. I thought that it was only the smaller tubes of paint but then i noticed the acrylics that my parents bought me for Christmas were ruined as well. The caps were covered with paint and the tubes were almost impossible to clean. I had told them millions of times to leave the tubes clean and close them. I had also said that they weren't allowed to touch my new special acrylics since they were a gift from my parents. Of course I was furious and decided that I was never going to borrow any of my art supplies to anyone. I have art class tomorrow so I'm probably going to update you on my friends reactions. My family is saying that I'm overreacting but I don't think I am since I made it clear how much I love my paint and that they should keep clean and perfect just like I do. So AITA? | AITA for being mad that my friends ruined all of my paint? | NTA |
10tf7z6 | My friend had gotten us tickets for a concert and said the ticket price was around $300 and asked if I was down which I said “I am down to pay that price and go with you.” Then she started asking if I really wanted to go and I kept saying yes. She then started insinuating that she’d rather go with someone else until a couple weeks ago she said “Honestly I think I’ll enjoy the concert more with another friend” so she uninvited me from the concert to go with another friend who is already going to the same concert with her just on another day. So I was uninvited which I was whatever about it, but now turns out her other friend flaked on her and can’t go to the concert with her anymore and now wants me to pay for the ticket! Which I refuse to do and now she’s mad cause she said I need to pay for it cause we decided on going and she only got the ticket cause I said I was down to go, but I was uninvited and she invited her other friend so shouldn’t her other friend pay for the ticket if she was the one who flaked. | AITA! Friend uninvited me from concert! | NTA |
10uvokz | I have a few friends who did not attend Duke but root for Duke's men's college basketball program. (I went to a rival ACC school.) I tend to riff almost endlessly about Duke, Coach K, Duke "alum" (i.e. the players who went to Duke for a year of basketball and then went to the NBA), Coach K some more, and their retired men's basketball coach who was well-known for [snarling,](https://s.yimg.com/os/en/blogs/sptusncaabexperts/COACH-K.jpg) [telling Zion Williamson that he doesn't coach losers](https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/25984508), [refusing to punish Grayson Allen](https://www.foxsports.com/stories/college-basketball/what-a-joke-coach-k-ends-grayson-allens-indefinite-suspension-after-just-one-game) for [intentionally tripping opponents](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cTs4zpI3CQ&ab_channel=Highlights101), and [using USA Basketball to help recruit students to Duke.](https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2203380-duke-basketball-how-much-do-coach-k-blue-devils-benefit-from-usa-basketball) I bring up Duke basketball in conversations unrelated to it just to make a fun dig and remind the Duke fans all about their storied team.AITA for inserting Duke basketball into random conversations just for the fun of it? Or am I doing a service to society-at-large by bringing ESPN's favorite men's college basketball program down a notch? | AITA for making endless jokes about Duke? | YTA |
10uvnif | About a week ago, a friend asked to keep her cats in my spare room for a couple hours while she moved. When she came back, presumably to pick them up, she told me the landlord didn’t show with the keys because he was stuck out of town on business for a few days. I said her and the cats could stay in the house until then, but I don’t think the cats and my dog would get along. The few days came and went without word from the would be landlord, so now they are staying until she can get into another place. I’ve lived alone in this small duplex for years, so this has very much thrown off my routine, but I want to help my friend. Today I had a day off after a very long week at work, and as I read a book on the couch as she stapled a chair she’s restoring in my living room one of the cats meowed, and she said “can I let them out while the dog is asleep in your room?” (Meaning we’ll shit him in there for a bit). I gave a sigh and said, “yeah, that’s fine”, to which she commented, obviously annoyed, that I made a face and she wouldn’t. She then put aside the chair, cleaned the debris that had been on the floor for two days, went in the spare room to grab a jacket, and left without saying a word. I feel bad that I upset her and I feel like I should have just cheerily allowed the cats out, I have nothing against them or cats in general, but it’s been a long week, and I’m not adjusting to losing my solitude well. So, Am I the Asshole? | AITA for being annoyed about a houseguests cats? | NTA |
10ty316 | So I am a 36(F) and my male best mate is getting married a the end of the year. He has asked me to be a grooms women which I was honored.Now recently it's been made clear that the bridesmaid, MOH, and myself need to pay our way. Which means we need to pay for our dress, hair and make up, our shoes and any alterations to our dresses that are required. On top of all that I also need to pay for my own transport to the wedding as I am apparently getting ready with the bridal party which are a 10min away from the groomsmen and the venue. After I calculated it all together im looking at roughy $1000. That's not including the hens party which is a wine tour and an over night stay.Need advice pleaseNow am I the arsehole if I decline to be aprt of this weddingI have spoken to my friend who seems pissed that I am having doubts and basically told me to suck it up or dont bother going at all. I don't want to lose a friend over it. | AITAH for refusing to be a part of a wedding | NTA |
10uf9e9 | My (44f) parents live with me in my home for several various reasons. Since they have moved in there have been several issues. My mom tries to boss me around like I’m a kid living in HER house. Sometimes she yells at me too. If she cooks dinner and I eat her food she has me clean the kitchen. Fair enough. However I have Crohn’s disease (as does my mother) and right after eating my stomach hurts. So I’ve asked her to give me 30-60 minutes for my stomach to settle before I get to work on the kitchen. This is unacceptable to her for some reason and she starts yelling at me to do it immediately. A little back story- when I grew up she barely cleaned. Our house was borderline hoarderish. So it makes no sense to me. My mom is in a bad mood a LOT. I’m pretty sure a lot of it stems from the fact that my step dad does not help her out with housework at all, save the occasional dishes and taking out the trash. She’s always grumpy rarely happy. She is very critical of everyone including my daughter and I. So yesterday I had a long talk with her. I came to her very respectfully, I didn’t raise my voice or anything. I nicely asked her to not yell at me, and to stop slamming things around when she has her little outbursts. She got really angry, denying she does those things. She also basically said I’m 71 I’ll say whatever I want whenever to whomever I want. I said that’s her prerogative but she’s going to push people away. Which she had to some extent especially with my daughter. I told my mom if she wants to have a better relationship with my daughter she needs to be more positive, and happy when my daughter is around instead of so critical. I told her if she does that my daughter will come around just give her time. She’s says I’m 71 I don’t have time to wait. I said well you’re going to reap what you sow if you continue to be so negative all the time. She got really pissed. She says that by asking her to not speak her mind I’m invalidating her. One more thing we talked about- starting from when I was little my stepdad called my sister and I awful names. He liked to embarrass us when people would come over he would tell people how we were bad kids etc. it really took a toll on me mentally. He still does it sometimes. He tells people we were awful kids and thinks it’s funny. He also says things like I’d look a lot better if I lost some weight (I’m 135) and says I need Botox. It’s very hurtful. I asked my mom yesterday why she had never stood up for me. She basically said she did but I wasn’t around to hear it. Part of me doesn’t believe her. Mainly because of recent incidents where she has just say there shrugging her shoulders over the Botox and weight loss comments. It’s hurtful and frustrating. Lots are supposed to stick up for their kids.I’m frustrated and hurt all around. AITA for saying these things? She won’t even talk to me this morning.ETA- if I kicked them out they would have no place to go and might be homeless. I don’t have the heart for that because my mom did support me while I struggled for a few years after my Crohn’s diagnosis. | AITA for telling my mom to be nicer? | NTA |
10ue58m | Hi everyone, I (26 F) am coming here because I genuinely want to know what others think. My grandma is turning 80 and having a party, she lives in a different state. The party was planned in December and I did my part including saving up money and buying my ticket to come, I’m a recent college graduate so I’m still broke! Turns out there was a mistake in the planning and they have to push the party out a couple of weeks. I don’t have the option to change my ticket without paying a couple hundred dollars. My sister offered to pay for a ticket for me to come to the actual party which will be around $700. I appreciate my sisters offer but I feel it’s unnecessary because I will still be visiting my grandma during my original planned trip, and honestly I don’t want the burden of my sister buying me a ticket hanging over my head even if she doesn’t hold it over my head. I love my grandma so much and I recognize not being there for the party will upset her, but I did my part in planning and saving up for this trip, it is not my fault someone else made an error, plus I’ll still be visiting her for 5 days, I just won’t be at the actual party. Please let me know, AITA? | AITA for not going to my grandmas 80th birthday? | NTA |
10uiokg | I (F40s) teach at a large academy with more than a hundred other women. We are divided into 8 learning communities. This year our staff encouragement team fees were $25. I paid right away and felt I had contributed my part. Then the team decided we would start hosting bridal and baby showers. Paid fees won’t cover the many fabulous showers we need to have, so now each learning community is responsible for throwing the showers for anyone in their community and all staff are invited. None of us were given a say in this. We are expected to be happy to participate because “we’re a family.”Our community had to host a bridal shower earlier in the year. I contributed to the gift but didn’t decorate or bring food for the shower which was held in the library after school. I came to the shower long enough to watch her open gifts, did not eat or drink since I didn’t contribute, and then left. A couple months ago a different grade community hosted a bridal shower for a new girl I’ve never even spoken to. She got married over Christmas break and moved out of state. I will never see her again and did not contribute, gift or attend the shower.The next shower is this week, for a baby. This is hosted by a different community at our same grade level. I have contributed to the gift but don’t want to attend the shower. I am being told I am TA for not participating or signing up to bring food or decor to any of these events. I don’t think I should be forced to socialize and pay money for work parties. AITA? | AITA for not participating in bridal/baby showers at work? | NTA |
10uh5wu | So, I (17F) graduate in a couple of months, and my school does this thing where you can submit personal photos of you and your friends to go in the yearbook.We all already have the standard photo of ourselves, but one of my friends is insisting that we pick out some other photos to send in.She sent a few to our group chat, asking if she can submit them. I personally don’t want her to, because I have self confidence issues and just don’t care about ‘being remembered’ by all the people in my grade. Just because I went to school with them, doesn’t mean I feel connected to them in any way; most of them have been mean to me these past 4 years. I told my friend that she can crop me out and send them in, since I don’t want to be in it, but I didn’t want to spoil it if my other friends did want to. But now she’s complaining about how ‘it won’t be the same if the whole group isn’t in it!’. Now she’s in a mood with me and won’t talk to me.I feel like photos of our friendship group should just be a personal thing that we look back on, not a bunch of random people in our grade… so am I the asshole? | AITA for not wanting to be in the school yearbook? | NTA |
10ujwj3 | My boyfriend and I got into an argument. I basically lost it because our daughter fell and hit her lip on a toy. The living room was messy with toys but I injured myself and am in a splint and on crutches. So it’s been hard to do all the cleaning tasks I do. He pretty much blamed me for it happening and I told him he needs to help me clean up. I can’t right now in the same way I normally do. It then turned into a bigger argument. The gist is he told me I needed to ask him to clean up because he’s solely focused on school (he does online work) and thats it. Mind you his desk is in our living room and this is where all of this happened. I told him I shouldn’t have to say anything about it. He’s a 29 year old man and can clearly see the mess and he obviously knows I’m not in the position to be cleaning like I normally do. This is a constant thing though, injured or not. I feel like I do EVERYTHING While he is on his computer doing school work (and playing video games). So there is some deep rooted feelings at play for me. He says that this is the most important thing (getting his schooling done) and that’s all that he wants to focus on. I told him he’s selfish. That just because he has school doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to do anything else. I feel like the asshole because his schooling is important and I know that. However, I still also feel like there’s more responsibility and he thinks he gets to forge all that because of his school. | AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s selfish | NTA |
10u8ueu | I booked tickets to an event on behalf of my friends and I told them it was non-refundable. They all xferred me the $ and I made the booking. The booking process is tricky -- takes about an hour of stuffing about (I book these tickets often... the provider uses a very outdated and complicated system).One friend changed his mind a few weeks later and wants to cancel and get a refund, which is technically possible, but...As the organiser only I can contact the provider for a refund. It's a long drawn out process that will take me appx 90mins of my time over 3 days during business hours when I'm supposed to be working. I even checked with the provider who confirmed it must be me that calls them -- the other guy can't access my the booking for legal/privacy reasons.The ticket cost is $10.So I told him he can cancel on me and not come, but I'm not spending 90mins of my work time to save him $10. AITA? | AITA for not organising to refund a friend's ticket? | NTA |
10uglhu | My(26M) Friend(25M) is trying to make a living for himself online with YouTube, Music production, twitch etc. But it's not going as planned he is very talented with his style of music since he's been doing it since middle school. He's very tech savvy and well versed in online media and I know the general basics, we share some common interests so our friendship works but it's getting to the point where I don't know how to help or what to say. He's the epitome of antisocial and refuses to make any new social bonds with other people there are times that he's tried and it hasn't gone well so he's just decided that making the effort is pointless. Any and all forms of positive encouragement is met with mild hostility and comments of no one understanding. He deals with depression, financial issues and some many other things that I can't unpack I'm almost completely numb to all of it even the mentions of (self deleting). He is a genuinely good person but I'm almost at my limit so AITA? | AITA for starting to feel burdened/annoyed by being my friends only social interaction? | NTA |
10ua3po | Basically, once a week me and my dad usually go for a drive early in the morning. I really enjoy it and looking at the sunrise makes me happy. Yesterday my younger sister asked if she could join us, that wasn't really a problem for me. A part of me wished she could find another way to connect with us but I wasn't going to protest about it of course. Then she made another request, she wanted to sit in the front, which was something I didn't want. Once a week I get to go for a drive to look at the sunrise and feel calmer and it seemed like she wanted to take that away from me, sitting at the back isn't the same. I told her no and if she wanted to come she should sit in the back. My mum thought this wasn't acceptable and it ended in a fight. I know I sound stupid and immature but this is something that brings me joy and she wants to take that away from me. I just wish she could find something else to do with my dad and I such as going for a walk or riding a bike. I need to know if I'm TA for this. | AITA for not wanting my sister to ride in the front seat? | NTA |
10ue8qk | So officially im (f/17) diagnosed with strong depression, binge eating disorder and strong adhd. I think there might be more but i dont want to self diagnose myselfTo graduate i have to do an internship, which means one week im at school and the other im working FULLTIME + learning. School alone was difficult enough and robbed all my energy but now....I come home and sleep. I dont even exaggerate, i just sleep till i wake up at 5am again. I have the feeling i might suffer under burn out. I already have panick attacks because i cant get my stuff done.The weekends are the only time in the week were can relax a little bit. Not even fully relax because i worry all the time about stuff i havent finished but i also dont feel able to finish the stuff.There have been a lot of fights about household chores. I have one older sister who is 18 and a smaller one who is 13 and gets a whole different treatment then me with 13. I did grocery shopping (without car or bike), made laundry, the whole kitchen often etc. But if my sister needs to wash the dishes it would be cruel🙄I also have a step father and my mother who is a stay at home mother. I help in the school weeks but i just dont have the energy to help after coming home from work and i want to use the weekends to relax and get other stuff done (like my room or homework). I always get screamed at for being lazy and just bratty. My mother often doesnt cook for me anymore because i dont help as much anymore (i just eat cornflakes or something that is fast). She talks bad about me with my little sister like that im disgusting and i schould just live in my hole etc...My mother knows at least about my strong depressions and adhd. I dont think she is taking my adhd serious to be fair because im "just lazy". The whole family knows still im TA. Thats why im asking the question because my whole family is against me. They say im disgusting for my room and lazy for not helping more. I think that i might be TA and just fake these things so i dont have to help but my energy is really at a all time low and i dont know what to do. | AITA for not helping in the houshold? | NTA |
10upd86 | I'm a female who's 6 years older than my brother (he's mid 20s and I'm late 20s in age).I earn quite well now and worked 20-30 hours per week throughout my 4 yrs at uni. I'm completely self reliant financially (as I live alone, I'm not married, and our parents are very poor so I'm always trying to save a good savings pot). My brother didn't work much at all when at uni for 3 yrs, then had 1 year of doing fairly minor jobs during the pandemic and then went to do a 2nd degree at uni for 2yrs whilst working a little bit part time. He has much less money than I do (but is also not a good saver and will spend on himself and others very easily, especially on stuff that isn't an essential e.g. apple smart watches for himself, my mum and my dad despite none of them doing any exercise and my parents not being into wearable tech at all (this was at the point when he already had zero savings). I've also loaned him money in the past for his rent / laptop etc (not often though).At christmas this year, I asked him what he wanted and he specified 3 items that altogether came to £43 (and no way to get those things cheaper). He didn't ask me what I wanted and sent me £13 gift card for christmas. I found it a bit odd that he'd requested stuff that costs x3 more than what he was planning to give me. Of course the value of presents do not need to match precisely but I don't think I'd ever ask someone for stuff x3 as expensive as what I could/would give them. I don't know if perhaps he has an expectation that as I'm the "big sister" and earn fairly well, this is the way it should be? I've no bitterness at all that he "only gave me £13" but it's more the whole dynamic of expecting more that I found a bit odd but maybe I'm just not viewing it right?He has been fairly generous in past years with presents. Recently, we don't have a good relationship as he's been siding with my mum who's a martyr narc on absolutely everything so I was not feeling particularly generous at all but gave £25.AITA? How much do you spend on your brother esp younger brothers for their birthday?*TL;DR* : Is my brother right to "expect" x3 pricier gifts from me than he's prepared to give, as I'm better off financially? | AITA for not giving much to sibling on his birthday? | NTA |
10uhl1z | I’ll try to make this one short. I’ve had a friend of 12 years that I was very close with until recent years. Mainly because of his girlfriend, she’s manipulative, rude, condescending, and has a superiority complex. She has a PhD in material science and she somehow manages to bring it up in every conversation. Constantly trying to undermine any scientific conversation, even those unrelated to her course of study, because of said PhD. It had gotten to the point where none of our friend group really hangs out with him anymore because we know she would be there as well. Him and I had a falling out a few years back because I approached him about not liking the way she treated him and it blew up. A few years later, we’re friends but not like we were. I’m getting married in a few months and we’re working on our invite list. I would love for my friend to be there but honestly, I think having his girlfriend there would negatively impact my, and soon to be wife’s, big day. My wife is okay with whatever decision I make. | WIBTA for not inviting my friend of twelve years girlfriend to my wedding | NTA |
10uoxq7 | My girlfriend and I (24f, 27m) have been dating for over a year and I love her to death. She's great and I really couldn't be happier. She has some mental struggles so our relationship isn't always perfectly stable but I feel like I do a decent enough job handling it and she does a great job trying to get help and lessening their impact on her and us. However this topic in particular has always been a source of negativity for her and has had such a bad impact on her mental health.We met through a mutual group of friends but I've since stopped talking to them. I eventually realized they weren't all that great of people, and the final straw in just removing them from my life was in seeing how they treat my girlfriend. They harass her, make fun of her, berate her, tell her to do harmful things to herself, even taunt her by showing her her own nudes (she dated one of the guys in this group beforehand). It's really disgusting and though I've told them to stop many times they don't care.Every week or two something with them will happen, and I'll end up having to console my girlfriend because she gets sad and upset and wonders what she's doing to deserve this. And every time, I tell her she needs to cut them out of her life and stop hanging out with them. She doesn't see this as an option. I tell her that when she goes back to school in the fall, or when she gets a job, she can try and meet new people and make new friends, or even hang out with my friends more often, but she's not having it. So I just drop it and calm her down until it inevitably happens again, and rinse and repeat.Well, the last time this happened, they did something particularly bad, and my girlfriend was extremely depressed and upset. I ended up having to leave work early just to go to her house and be there with her. Once things settled, I brought it up once again, and surprisingly she agreed. She went over the people she knew and who she'd keep in her life, and then blocked the numbers/social media accounts of the others. And that was that, at least I thought.A couple weeks went by and everything was fine, she said she felt a bit lonely but felt much happier and lighter now that she wasn't constantly berated, so I figured things were alright. But recently I saw an instagram story of her hanging out with them at a restaurant on that day, and I got really confused. I confronted her and she got really defensive and said she could do what she wants with her life, and when I pushed back, she got really pissed off and said I need to stop controlling her. It's been a couple of days since and she hasn't responded to any of my texts, so now I'm both getting worried and pissed off. I don't think I overstepped my bounds by suggesting she make this life choice, but I don't know. Am I the asshole? | AITA for telling my girlfriend to cut out friends from her life? | NTA |
10u6g32 | I (f 26) am pregnant with my second child. My first is is a year and a half, when I had him my mom ( F 57) couldn't come in because you were only allowed one support person at the time. This was my husband ( M 30) My first delivery was awful. So Many things went wrong. Which is a whole other story in itself. But the relevant part is that my placenta didn't deliver. Because of this, I had a significant hemorrhage. When speaking to my gynecologist she said I was at high risk of this happening when I deliver the new baby. My brother died in a tragic accident when I was young. Since then my mother has not done well with medical emergencies with her kids. When my sister ( F 34) had her first kid my mom went, and the baby wasn't breathing and my mom freaked out. And this was something that only lasted seconds.My mom and I are extremely close. I called her minutes after finding out I was pregnant both times. I have always worked hard to keep our relationship strong. But knowing this about my mom when she started talking about being excited that she could come with me this time. I had to tell her no. Because if I'm hemorrhaging and she freaks out, I'm going to freak out as well. Which I can't imagine would be good. My mom took the information pretty well, or so I thought. It's been a couple of weeks and I was talking to my older sister ( f 36) that I asked my best friend to come. She has been the person who can be the calm in the storm for me so many times. My husband was in a serious car accident and because of this might not be able to be holding my hand or helping with the labor the same way as before. So I wanted someone who would be able to support me, when my husband can't.My sister lost it in me saying I stole this memory from our mom. And letting someone who isn't family in the room over her. That I never put my mom's needs first. She said my mom's been so upset sense I told her she couldn't come. So I have to ask AITA for telling my mom she couldn't come. Then turning around and asking my friend to come. | AITA for chosing my friend over my mom to come into the delivery room. | NTA |
10uabwy | After my mom found out how much I’m making a month, she immediately started telling me to pay rent. I’m a 19 y/o (M), I pay for my truck, my gas, and my phone bill. I work 60-74 hour work weeks (12 hour work days, 6 days a week, 1 day off). I’m trying to save money for the next few years so I can buy a house for my future, I’m barely at home so sometimes it’s confusing why she’s pushing so hard for me to pay rent.She pays for the bills, and food. If I want to buy anything for myself (clothes or a new phone or something), I pay for it, not my mom. I also take care of the garbage, shovel the snow, etc. My mom works a 9-5, supports my little brother(single mother). There was a period where she wouldn’t work and was just stuck on a low wage EI for a few months. She’s now finally back to work and telling me to pay rent. I think this is a lesson to never tell family or friends how much I make, and regret telling her now because she’s a big mouth and will probably tell everyone. We had a fight about this so I thought id ask on here. | AITA for not wanting to pay my mom rent so I can save money? | YTA |
10uoox3 | Would I be the AHole if I told the restaurant owner what the head chef and I used to do there? (What we did is 100% nsfw) and although I am at part for it, I no longer work there and will bare no responsibility. (This happened with my head chef, my manager) we were not official but A. Lived together and B. Were exclusive (his words).Side note: he now plays the "we were never a couple" card when I found an earring by the bedside (I don't have earring holes) and this is pretty much over, as I can only take so much bullshit.I can't say this isn't at least partially a need for revenge, but I do think the owner should know who he pays to run his place, as I found pictures proving I'm not the only coworker he did things with. (I can only hope it's the same girl as the one who left the earring here).TL;DR: would I be the AHole if I told my former boss that I and the head chef did many NSFW things at the restaurant? | WIBTA if I told my former boss (the owner) what happened at his workplace? | YTA |
10tfrjw | I, 16 Year Old Male have had two consecutive birthdays ruined because of my mother and sisters. The night before my 15th birthday, I made it clear that I didn’t want my sister’s boyfriend to be at the celebratory dinner because he has repeatedly caused arguments between siblings and in the past, eaten snacks that I paid for myself with my allowance and unnecessarily involved himself in my business. When I stated this, my sister got angry and said ‘He’s my boyfriend and you’re being petty, you’d think because you’re older that you’d let things go but clearly not. I don’t know why we are celebrating a brat like you.’ In response, I brought up everything he had done to me prior and pointed out that he already gets enough food from me and said ‘He steals the snacks I paid for so he can survive not going to my dinner.’ Because of this, my sister called me ‘fat’ and ‘greedy’. None of my parents defended me so I spent my birthday with Grandparents the day after. On the day of the dinner, I was pressured by my Mum into letting sister’s boyfriend go, otherwise she wouldn’t either. On my Sweet Sixteenth last year, we visited relatives for a festival because coincidentally, it fell on the same time as my birthday this year. We went to the festival on Saturday and when we got home, I baked my own cake with cousin and auntie because my sisters and mother didn’t want to make it. The next day, my mother woke me up and said ‘The girls want trifle, can I take a layer and some of the icing from your cake to make it?’ I said ‘No, it’s my birthday cake and you know how much I hate trifle, if you really want a trifle, can’t you just buy one or get the ingredients for one?’ My mother responded with ‘Okay. I went into town with my cousin for two hours and when I returned, I found she completely disregarded my wishes and took the cake to make her trifle anyway. Obviously, I got angry and didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day because she put her needs and my sisters before me on the one day that is about me. She called me ‘selfish’ and ‘spoiled’. I am on good terms with them now but I worry they will make my seventeenth about them again so I don’t want to risk it. WIBTA if I excluded them from plans? | WIBTA for excluding my two Sisters and Mother from my 17th Birthday? | NTA |
10utu73 | So, A bit of backstory, I'm Bi and Non-Binary, but I was assigned female at birth. I don't ever want to come out to him, as I've heard what he's had to say on Village People and ABBA. I'm almost 19 and still living with my parents, it's taking a lot for me to adjust to the working world. My parents have always told me that nothing will be handed to me, although I already am hired at an elementary school that my mother works at. The only problem is, I am a substitute, and I have to fight to get in on those days. My father is telling me that I'm lazy because I'm not getting called in, and other subs are getting called in before me. He's telling me that I need to walk up to the school and tell them off. I'm not going to do that, as that would be quite unprofessional of me.He has also criticized me for my eating habits, telling me I'm not eating enough, I'm eating too much, I'm eating something unhealthy, or his favourite, "You're eating again? You're a pig." He tells me I'm a pain in the ass, and he throws these insults at me even in public. This is hurting my mental health (which is already bad enough), and making me feel like I'm worthless. So, am I the asshole? Is all of this an overreaction? | AITA for making my father hate me? | NTA |
10uec3f | Sometime during 2015 my grandmother was gifted a VW van and she spent a great deal of time telling me how I’d never be able to even touch it, all of her over idealized fantasies of camping in it, just really rubbing it in my face for some reason. I accepted it, I didn’t care and I already hated my home life so it was another reason to gtfo. Flash forward to 2020 and all of a sudden…she wants to give me it. She gives this whole speech on how I should always have a “way out” and that this is an option for me (at the time implying that if the world is falling apart- surely so would my relationship or home life within it). I accepted it regardless because it would’ve been a fun project and I don’t have automotive skills so what a great place to start. One problem though. She refused to give me any paperwork regarding ownership or anything and insisted that she had it and will provide me it. Over time, it’s like she purposefully forgot and would accuse me of doing the transfer of title incorrectly. I wasn’t doing it incorrectly, I had several other people in my life (one who works in automotive industry and one who excels in administration duties) help me with this. This involves it being registered in another state with an address I do not know, it was a shit show. In early 2022 we finally get news that the out of state DMV office is more than happy to cooperate and get this title transfer expedited. I relay this to my grandmother after almost a year of no speaking (leaving out alot of context of her sending me rude messages on holidays). And she absolutely implodes. She proceeds to contact my partners parents (his mother being one person who’s helped me) and essentially drags my name through the mud. Bringing up unrelated incidents, accusing me of lying, calls me every name in the book. And she threatened to take the van back. So we said by all means, please take it because we are done with this headache. The person she sent to get it was drunk, aggressive towards me, and almost broke not only the U-Haul they rented to tow it but almost sent the van rolling into our home. They finally leave and now sitting at almost 8 months later…she calls and leaves a voicemail. Saying that I have stolen “vital information” from the van that’s necessary in getting it in my name and implying that SHE is taking the initiative on this process. That can’t be true because if there WAS paperwork in it, I would’ve found it and got it done during the two years it sat on my property. I have already in a sense have made things arms length, I kind of “quiet quit” our relationship a while ago due to other problems we had. But am I the asshole for not wanting a stupid van and view her differently after this? This started out as a present and now it feels like a punishment. *I apologize for how long or confusing this may seem, I will try my best to answer questions in the comments. | AITA for now wanting to refuse a gift (a vehicle)? | NTA |
10ufc1g | HelloMy husband and I have been together for 4+ years but 2 have been long distance as he is a European citizen and I’m American (& hence can’t live in the states legally). We got married early 2022 and are waiting for immigration to approve a green card for him. But in the meanwhile we are living separately which as you can imagine creates conflict especially when it’s been so long. And we’ve been relatively good at resolving conflict.But, three months ago he developed anxiety (has had two pretty bad anxiety attacks). Since then, there are certain topics that can’t be talked about, largely anything that is negative. That’s fine. But sometime this means he talks about his issues but treats mine like they’re dumb. Yesterday, I’d just gotten off work and was driving home. He was talking about his job and how he’s stressed with it. His job pays him very little so I said he should consider looking into another Job which he was very against. I then said if it was stressful and not paying much he could also cut back on some hours, etc.. it’s a lot more complex than that and the convo was longer but anyways, maybe my tips weren’t the best.But he tells me throughout the conversation that I’ve never had anxiety, that I don’t know what its like to work, what it’s like to have to build up your resume and said some things that made me feel like he thought I knew nothing. I’ve actually had many things happen in my life and have been living alone since 16… which he knows. I got mad at him and we got into a big fight. We both hung up angry and then continued the fight via text. Things were settling down but I still felt he should apologize for what I feel was disregarding my feelings. So I told him this via text, that I’d like an apology and hope he doesn’t put me down that way again. He didn’t answer for hours and then when he does answer, he told me to chill out and not take life so seriously. I got pissed at that and told him I didn’t want to talk more with him and since then we have not talked. It’s been a day. I know I have fault in this but I don’t think it’s right for him to say rude things and then act like it doesn’t happen… and this is a very often occurrence. He’ll often flip the tables and say I made a huge fight out of nothing and need to chill out. | AITA? Husband has anxiety and says mean things | NTA |
10ufaei | On Friday January 27th, over Instagram, a new girl friend invited me out to watch a movie with her slated for Thursday February 2nd. We hadn't yet agreed on a time to meet. We then talked again 2 days later and I had left her a message that was unrelated to the date: she said "Maybe I'll send you the links to some YouTube Channels I watch" and I replied with "I think you should. I'll welcome them." She responded, but the next day (Monday) but by only liking the message: there was no written response. The two times we spoke on Instagram, I was the one to message first. She watched my stories in the days leading up to the date and never once said "hey" or even send me a random message. So, for the date on Thursday, I waited to see if she would message and she didn't, so I made other plans which is what I think might make me the asshole. I posted a picture of myself at another event (I promise I didn't post it with her in mind) and she saw it, which may be another reason she might perceive me as an asshole.Soon after, she unfollowed me on Instagram. The day after (Friday), I messaged her, explaining to her why I assumed she was no longer interested in the movie, and she asked me "Why didn't you message me to confirm?"So, am I the asshole here? | AITA for not following up with her after we decided to go watch a movie? | ESH |
10u626d | Almost four weeks ago, I (21), was kicked out of my parents house because I wasn't "humble" enough to say I "might have done it" (egg donors exact words) and instead denied doing it.This isn't much of a shock to me as we have been having issues since I was a child, with threats of homelessness since I was age 15.The issue is, after my friend came and got me and I started living with them temporarily I called my grandmother. She told me that my egg donor said I "up and decided to move out" a few weeks ago, which is false.I would rather not make it look like i'm trying to sabotage her relationships with the rest of the family, but i'm tired of her doing things to me and twisting the story.WIBTA if I made a public facebook post exposing the details of why I actually no longer live with her?Edit: I ended up calling my grandmother (egg donors mother) who told me that she believed me because “she knows her daughter,” which is good and she’s going to send me a bit where she can to try and help me get back on my feet. | WIBTA if I posted the truth about my estranged familial relationship with my parents for the rest of the family to see? | NTA |
10th440 | I (25f) have a sister (37f) who has 4 kids with her husband (37m), 3 sons, ages 19, 13 and 11 and a 14 y/o daughter. My youngest nephew turned 11 last weekend and had a birthday party to celebrate. The party was held at a local arcade/restaurant, very similar to a Dave & Buster’s. I got there and we were getting ready to eat first, I talked to my sister and said hi to the birthday boy, Miles. While we were sitting down and ordering food, I noticed that my 13 y/o nephew, Kason, was not there. I asked my sister about it and she said it was no big deal, which was odd to me.I went to the bathroom and called Kason to see if everything was ok, he told me he was fine and then told me why he was skipping his younger brother’s party, apparently a few days ago, my sister got a call Miles and some other kids were bullying a boy at school. Apparently they were bullying the boy for being too “feminine” because he does ballet, and making homophobic remarks to him. The boy is one of Kason’s baseball teammates younger brother. Kason’s teammates convinced him not to go to his “toxic” brother’s party, and Kason told me he agreed with them. I could hear Kason get pretty angry in his tone when talking about Miles’s actions which is not normal for him, because it takes a lot to get him angry. After the phone call, I sat in the bathroom for a few minutes and was thinking to myself. Out of my 4 nieces and nephews, Kason is the only one who hasn’t got in trouble for bullying before. My sister and her husband dated in high school and were also bullies, and while they’re great to their kids, they often do act like the stereotype of a “Karen”. Miles is easily one of the worst kids I’ve seen. I decided to leave early and told my sister the truth, that I spoke to Kason and thought Miles didn’t deserve gifts. My gift was still in the car, so my husband and I left. I called Kason again to check on him and he asked if we could take him to the antique store my husband/his uncle owns, as the boys wanted to surprise the ballet boy who was bullied to some gifts. My husband and I took them and gave them some ballet related stuff and a few other things they’d say he’d like. I dropped Kason off at home, and later that day I spoke to my sister. She told me she told Kason the night before to skip the party, thinking he was bluffing and was very upset when she found out he wasn’t. She was also upset I gave the boys stuff to give to Kason’s friend’s younger brother. It’s been about a week now and Kason and Miles haven’t spoken to each other. Kason is not the type of kid who stays quiet when he believes something. My sister said I’m to blame for “destroying” their relationship and I should’ve just stayed at the party and our siblings and parents are siding with her. Kason however is texting me calling my husband and I “the best uncle and aunt ever”. I’m conflicted rn. AITA? | AITA for leaving my nephew’s birthday party? | NTA |
10tx9dz | I’m a mother to a 14 year old, who we’ll call Jay for legibility. Jay came out to me as non-binary a few months ago and since then I’ve been helping them express themself in any way possible; they chose a more gender-neutral name to go by, I let their teachers know about the name and pronoun change, we go on weekend shopping trips to find clothes they’re comfortable in, etc. Jay’s father and I have been divorced for years, and unfortunately he is extremely intolerant of the LGBTQ+ community and refuses to accept Jay’s identity. He has custody every weekend. Jay often cries before leaving for their dad’s house because he refuses to let them dress in anything he deems masculine, he makes it a point to call them by their deadname at every chance he gets, and constantly makes transphobic comments. It breaks my heart seeing my child come home depressed and suffering from dysphoria because of the things their father says.Since coming out, Jay's been begging to get a more androgynous haircut. They’ve never had hair shorter than below-shoulder length because their father refuses to let them cut it, but long hair is one of the biggest dysphoria triggers for them so I finally agreed to let them get a haircut a couple days ago. I took them to a salon and they got a mens’ wolf cut that looks amazing on them, and they've been euphoric over how androgynous it makes them look. The haircut gave them so much more confidence and comfort in their appearance.Jay’s father came to pick them up this morning and the second he saw their hair, he shouted “What the hell did you do?” I told him it’s Jay’s hair and therefore Jay gets to decide what to do with it, which sparked a huge argument between us. I said he had no right to tell our teenage child what to do with their own body, and he accused me of brainwashing our kid into thinking they're a boy. He said I was only doing this to drive a wedge between him and Jay. After he said that Jay jumped in to defend themself, telling him it was their decision to get a haircut, and their father yelled at them and called them the f-slur. Because of that, Jay refused to go with him and told him to f- off. Jay’s father ended up getting the police involved and they made Jay get in the car and go to his house as scheduled. Watching my child sob and beg me not to let him take them broke me and I’ve been crying ever since. Jay’s father texted me to say he’ll be speaking to his lawyer about getting full custody and told me that it's one thing to be delusional, but it's abusive for me to push my delusions onto Jay and I’m a danger to myself and my kid.Since they left, Jay’s been texting me saying they want to come home because their father keeps insulting their haircut and calling them transphobic slurs. I’m wondering if I made the wrong decision in letting Jay get a haircut, if all the trauma and verbal abuse they suffered was worth it. I feel horrible for unnecessarily subjecting them to this, so am I the asshole for going against their father’s wishes? | AITA for letting my kid cut their hair against their dad's wishes? | NTA |
10u2b2v | I (27M) live on my own, and am able to provide for myself. My parents like to drive to my place to give me food, clean my apartment, do my laundry, etc. This is something I don't ask them to do, and don't want them to do. I've lived far from my parents the past 5 years after college and can 100% take care of myself. I recently moved back closer to my parents, and this is what they've been doing the past few months. I asked my parents if they can stop doing these things for me. I always assumed that once you become an adult that parents shouldn't need to do these things for you. Whenever I bring this up, my parents either ignore me or they try to convince me that I don't have enough time to do these things on my own, even though I very much have enough time to do these things. They also get very upset when I ask that I do these things on my own. I asked my friends about this and they think I'm the AH because I'm not letting my parents express their love for me.So am I the AH for asking my parents to stop doing these things for me? | AITA for asking my parents to let me take care of myself? | NTA |
10trbtd | I am 21 F and my mom and her boyfriend are both in their 60s. I don't know her boyfriend's exact age.I was talking to my mom and her boyfriend about Netflix's new restrictions on password sharing, and how everyone was upset about it. They were both under the impression that this was a good business move. After talking for a while, I said that I had seen four videos, each with millions of likes, all saying that it was a terrible business move. He immediately started making fun of me for thinking four people leaving Netflix was going to affect them. He cut me off probably 10 times while I was trying to re-explain that each of these videos had millions of likes. He wouldn't let me get more than two words in. I began to feel very frustrated and felt that saying "please don't cut me off," or "let me talk" would be to no avail as he would cut me off saying that sentence. So, I screamed "LET ME TALK! LET ME TALK!" Finally, I was allowed to speak. Later, when my mom and I were alone, she told me "I get that he was being annoying, but you shouldn't have screamed at him." She went on to talk about how I should have said "Let me talk," before yelling it.Even later that night, I retold this story to my partner, and they told me that I was 100% in the right, so now I don't know what to think.TLDR; My mom's boyfriend cut me off probably 10 times, while making fun of me, and not letting me get more than two words in. So I screamed at him "LET ME TALK" AITA?EDIT: a lot of y'all seem to think that the boyfriend is the worst person in the world. He is a very amazing, very kind person. This is the first time I've had a problem like this with him, and they've been together (off and on) for 6 years. They have been "on" for about a year and a half. I would not describe him as a misogynist like a lot of y'all seem to think he is.Edit 2: I'm not upset that he disagreed with me. I wouldn't have screamed at him for disagreeing with me. I was upset that he wasn't respecting me and letting me talk, while at the same time making fun of me. I can accept that people have different opinions. That's not what this was about | AITA for screaming at my mom's boyfriend for cutting me off 10 times. | NTA |
10udpk1 | It might be that this is my last day at this kitchen job and the rudeness of my colleagues (no manners, no thank you, no please etc) has taken a toll on me in the last few weeks but I really feel what I might call anger.I never witnessed someone so rude and selfish, but this might not have anything to do with it, it adds context.At the end of every shift everybody has to contribute cleaning all surfaces and the floor. For days and days I managed to do multiple cleaning related things alone, with my colleagues doing things extra slowly to avoid contributing.Today I had already cleaned all surfaces and got asked to proceed with the floor, I did. While I was doing it she kept fake cleaning the things I have already cleaned even if I told her I already did it.At a certain point I asked her if she could spray water on the sewers where I cleaned, she didn't immediately and then started doing it where I didn't finish. I told her "not this one, the other two" and I think it was clear I was upset. The sous-chef told me I could leave (17 minutes earlier) and heard him ask her if everything was ok.Am I the asshole? I don't wanna be misunderstood: I can understand working slowly, but it angers me that she does when this means putting more load on her peers vs. not working intensly for the job itself.I didn't insult her but I was clearly upset. | AITA for asking my colleagues to help me clean? | ESH |
10u7yap | TA since they may recognize my account. I'll be going to a concert with a group of 5 other people in the summer. It is a very popular artist that many people will be traveling to see, including us who will be attending in a state we don't live in. I met these 5 attendees through a friend, so I don't know them all well, but we all decided to go together to split costs and enjoy a common favourite artist together.The concert is well over 5 months away, but we have started to look for accommodations and are seeing that all low-cost options have already been booked up. The cheapest option we found was a hostel style bunk bed hotel, that would be $50/night per person ($100 total per person for 2 nights). That place is completely booked for the exact dates we need. I looked on Airbnb and found an option that would put us at about $136 per person for the 2 nights. I messaged the group chat and asked everyone if that was an okay price, since the hostel is completely booked. One person responded saying that it's too expensive since the cost of the concert ticket itself was more than they anticipated. I asked what their budget was, but they didn't answer. I'm concerned that if we don't book a place soon, that we will be out of reasonable options and have to pay even more for somewhere to stay since the other places I saw were much more expensive. The Airbnb I found has a free cancellation policy up to one night before the reservation, so I'm tempted to book it, and sort out the cost later or even cancel it if it's really not viable for this person's budget. It seems like an asshole move because they already told me it's too much for them, but I'm worried that if we wait awhile longer that we won't even have that as an option and will have to pay more. The rest of the chat was okay with the price. Feel free to tell me if I'm being ridiculous, WIBTA to book the place to reserve it as an option? | WIBTA if I booked an airbnb out of my friend's price range? | NTA |
10u7o4d | I (16F) recently lost my mother, her father (my grandfather) has taken her passing as a way to finally get his highly offending opinions across.I had a brother (17F) when he was 14, he changed genders. I supported him through everything, thick and thin. My mother did too,however my grandfather is so old fashioned that he can't stand the thought of it and the only person stopping his comments was my mother, who shut him down every time.After her passing about 2-3 months ago, he's been making comments to my sister that are incredibly selfish, because my mother is no longer around to stop it. I've been hitting closer to my breaking point ever since until finally I broke when he said "has anyone ever jumped from adam and eve then back to adam?" and started laughing while smacking the table At first I assumed he was talking about the stones, but then I realised he was aiming it right at my sister. I totally lost it and told him to "take his selfish opinions elsewhere with people who actually wanted him around" and shouted several other things at him before throwing him out of my apartment. I vowed to my sister from then on, I would take.my mothers place in putting that man back in his place. AITA? | AITA for snapping at my grandfather. | NTA |
10ucj3m | My (25M) sister (23F) often used to discuss about getting a dog and were always very excited about the proposition. We even looked at few websites to buy a pup we liked, but in my mind it was always window shopping like an act I would like to do but never actually do it. Soon after on her bday my sister got herself a pup (it was a surprise for me, I didn’t know she was going to actually get it) still I absolutely love that dog to death but the problem is my parents don’t. Both of them hate it and are against keeping it in the house. 6 months after getting the dog my sister left for college and expected all of us and specially me to take care of the dog. It’s going to be 2 years now and every month my parents throw a tantrum that dog has done something and I have to fight with them for the dog. I have a full time job and sometimes I feel too exhausted to take care of it. I have raised this concern to her many times but she says I am the ass hole for making her feel guilty about going to college and leaving the pup behind. She also says I am also a very unsupportive sibling. On some days I just want to rant and on others I really want her to reconsider if we can even take care of the pup and should consider putting him up for adoption to save the relationship with our parents-In both scenarios she calls me an asshole. | AITA for expecting my sister to come back and take care of the pet? | NTA |
10uk0vj | 1 We were at a café a year ago. I gave my son (1) a biscuit. The wife threw a hissy fit about sugar, biscuits and what not. Stormed off. FIL lambasted me for "pressing her buttons" and that I should "man up". I said this is between me and your daughter, butt out.2 My sons cousin, 4 years old, is spoiled rotten. Just today she said "why doesn't everybody do what I want?" when she didn't get all the attention for 10 seconds. Her parents live next doors to the grandparents. While at our house a couple of months ago she tried to order me around. Do this, do that, not like this, not like that.I told her off and said my house, my rules. FIL went out for a walk. When he came back in he tried to order me around saying the same things the 4 year old had done before! Clearly he had been irked someone had told off the princess. Wife stayed quiet. Later on I told her she should have had my back. She said we must tread carefully, otherwise we might be ostracized from the family. I resent her for this, her family doesn't decide in our house.3 One month ago FIL visited. He was making dinner and asked me to help him take out the thrash. Sure, I said. When I got back in I went to play with my son. Afterwards FIL chewed me out for not having put a new paper bag in the trash bin. Wife quickly changed the topic. A week later I heard BIL had been subjected to something similar by FIL. Wife said, oh, my DH got the same treatment. Don't sweat it. Later that day I asked my wife why she swept it under the rug. She said I didn't want to raise an issue. I knew you would be mad. We had an argument.4 FILs birthday was a couple of days ago so we were going to visit for a SHORT break. Less than 15 minutes post entry I was sitting on a recliner chair in their living room, my son (2) and his cousin (4) played on the floor with construction toys. FIL was in the kitchen with MIL and my wife.My son was pulling a necklace of beads. I saw it was about to break so I sharply told my son to let go off the necklace at once lest it break. He complied. In enters FIL who heard me raising my voice towards my own son. Why are you not on the floor playing with them? Stop lazying off he said. I was fuming. My wife stood in the door opening and saw it unfold. Wife and I took a walk so our son could sleep in stroller soon after. She said nothing about what she had seen. I told her I expect her that we need to back each other up. She answered something ridiculous like "I thought you said your house, your rules. Now this is daddys house, his rules. And in my familys house we don't raise voices against children".I left for a couple of hours while she went indoors. In the car she said "I told daddy you didn't appreciate his comment. He said he would do better. It was a joke that apparently you didn't like". I said that was no joke and you know it. Don't try to cover it up like that. It was malicious.What the hell should I do in this situation? Did i over react and over think this? | AITA, wife TA, ESH or FIL TA? | ESH |
10ujvko | I (F32) and my husband (M29) both have mental health issues. For context: I have a full time job (remote) and I'm in college full time (also remote). My spouse is the SAH person who does all of the driving around and errand running, as well as most of the household chores.The problem: Some weekend days he chooses to sleep the entire day and night because of his mental health. Almost every time this happens I try to help him get out of bed, even if he just sits at his desk and plays something, at least he's not down all day. Yesterday, I attempted to wake him up 2-3 times, and each time he just told me he wanted to sleep. I use the weekends to finish the largest parts of my coursework, and was downstairs at my desk most of the day. This morning I got up and did my regular morning routine, thinking that if he wasn't awake by noon I'd actually make him get up. But at the same time, I'm focused on schoolwork. I heard him get up around 10:30, and went upstairs to ask if he wanted coffee and to say good morning. Now he's irritated because he slept an entire day away, and he doesn't want to talk, to me at least. He has no problem talking to his friends in a party or engaging with our teenage son. This happens often, especially if I fail at getting him out of bed. So, am I the asshole for giving up and letting him sleep? Or should I have continued to nag him about getting out of bed? | AITA for letting my spouse sleep all day? | NTA |
10uecpj | I am planning a trip with a friend and am the designated "planner". I am using a travel agent and prior to meeting with the agent I met with my friend and we agreed on all when, where, etc. So I simply relayed this information to the agent who then sent a quote. Now she nitpicking details of the quote like the specific hotel and airline. It's a major 3 airline so I'm not sure the specific issue. I looked at the hotel she suggested on street view and it was a really seedy area with a homeless shelter across the road (I am not exaggerating). Most recently she says to ask for this specific flight because it would save alot of money but she either has AM/ PM wrong or she doesn't remember we agreed to leave early so we would have the whole rest of the day at our destination. I realize there is some compromise when travelling with others but I'm not staying at a seedy hotel to save $200 and not randomly changing flights to make our stay shorter. TBH, I think this trip ended up being more money than she thought, what with the expense of everything these days, so i completely understand and I'm willing to give her an out but she needs to ask for it. That's not on me. WIBTA if I just said no or ignored her requests or lied and said the agent can't do anything else? | WIBTA For not wanting to keep making changes to the travel plans | YTA |
10u6vcs | I moved to a new apartment lately and my friends and colleagues were helping me, so I promised them pizza.We wanted to work in two groups, on packing the transporter at the old place and one unpacking at the new place, we wanted to go back and forth maybe three times.After we packed the first time, the transporter had technical problems and for a long time we couldn't leave and we didn't know how long it would take to fix the problem, since the renting company was a little slow. The group for unpacking met Prior for breakfast at a friend's flat and stayed there watching tv until I blew everything off, since i didn't know how long the repair would still take, could be 10 min, could be 3h.Luckily for me, an hour later, everything was working again, so I asked ppl if they could still help, since they blocked the whole day for the moving anyway. Most of them came back to help, but two didn't even answer anymore.I am not mad at them, since i blew everything off and they maybe started to do sth else. But I wanted to invite everybody for pizza and i don't know if i should invite them. On the one hand they were ready to help me, waiting for me for 2h, watching tv with friends, on the other hand everyone else did so much more exhausting work, i feel if i invite ppl who didn't really help moving, that i don't value their work enough.So WIBTA if i don't invite the ppl who were ready to help but couldn't help for pizza? | WIBTA for not inviting everyone for pizza who helped moving | YWBTA |
10ts63f | I (40 f) have been married to my husband (44 m) for 5 years. We have a 1 year old together. I make low 6 figures annually. He makes under 30k, working part-time nights and watches our child during the day 4 days a week. Grandparents watch our child the other day a week. Bi-weekly I have 20% of my check going to a retirement savings account, 15% in a standard 401k and 5% in a Roth IRA. I've maxed out what I can for my employer contribution, but I could lower the % and still have it maxed. My concern is I'm 40 and only have 1 year of my pay in the accounts. I pay for all of our health insurance, medical, dental, and vision, plus some additional life insurance and pet insurance. I make the maximum HSA contribution I can for a family of 3 at about $250/check (bi-weekly). The HSA has paid for every medical expense we have had, except IVF. This is all pre-tax money. Taxes take about 1/3 of my pay. $300 after taxes goes into my personal checking. I use this for some bills I had before we got together, like my Micrsoft subscription, and also to buy coffee for myself (no, I'm not buying $300 of coffee a month, there are bills being paid here too). The remainder of my check goes into our joint checking. The remainder is 2.5x the amount of our mortgage and we pay for other joint expenses from this account. All of his money goes in this account, and mostly pays for groceries. We do generally have more than $5k in the account just to be safe if something happens. He is upset that I have a 401k, Roth IRA, and separate checking account from him. He thinks I'm hiding money away. I have changed contribution levels to be lower, and also adjusted bills so more are coming out of joint checking and more of my pay goes into joint checking. Am I the a-hole for having these other accounts? | AITA for putting money in a "private" account? | NTA |
10umsqx | so I (13M) was talking to my 4 other friends (all 13F) in a group chat and just randomly two of them we'll call Jessica and Martha who are very close where just being complete assholes to my one friend who we'll call Sarah. she was literally just talking about some random thing and they just started saying shit like "did I ask?" then agreeing with each other and any time Sarah tried arguing back they'd just say something like "okay?" which really pissed me off because well obviously they were just being assholes for no reason to her. I told her to just drop them because they're super toxic, she agreed and that was basically it but Sarah has this twin sister (the 4th friend) who we'll call Beth who just constantly follows Jessica and Martha around 24/7 who told me to just let it go, so I took her advice but the day after I just get called a cunt by Jessica for accidentally sitting in the wrong seat. I told her to fuck off because she had said to me "no one wants you here so go sit somewhere else" and Beth said the same thing, she tried defending them so again I listened to her because I trusted her, that was Thursday.Today on Sunday they just said they were dropping me. their reasoning was 'we know you talked shit about us' I'll be fair I did but I got accused of talking shit about Sarah but I never did, and they also said 'we don't really like you that much' and because I apparently follow Beth around even though she literally does it to them and no one says anything, but because I follow her around im a big annoying problem.in November I got in a fight with all of them because I got in a couple stupid fights with Beth about her constantly insulting me and we didn't talk until January. I was in the wrong then but the only reason we started talking again is because she said 'im fine with being friends with you again' so I decided to start being friends with all of them again, but I'm just now getting told that I'm getting dropped because Beth doesn't like me and because I do what they do everyday, talk shit about each other. it doesn't feel fair that im not only getting snitched on by Beth for being mad about how her and Sarah were being treated by them but she just flat out lied to my face saying that we were friends again for a month, but when they talk shit about Jessica and Martha I need to be quiet about it and not say it. I told Sarah that it doesn't seem like Jessica and Martha care about her and Beth, I'm guessing now that insulting each other/ being assholes to each other for no reason is just how they talk to each other but they never even told me, Sarah literally told me to confront them about how they act but I knew it'd cause more problems so I didn't. AITA?Edit: I should've mentioned that I am horrendous at telling stories that make sense | AITA for talking shit about my friends for being mean? | ESH |
10umldn | To give some more information. I have been goi g to the gym and exercising very regularly for over 5 years, and also love investigating and reading about new research and staff like that in fitness. I joined this new CrossFit gym last year, and I had never done CrossFit before so it was new to me and also exciting. At the end of the first session which was basically a huge HIIT workout, instructor starts telling everyone how a lot of research shows how HIIT is superior to just normal cardio workout, and I said actually there had been a lot of new research showing that not to be true. It really rubbed me the wrong way they an instructor would give false information. He said nothing that day. Next day, on the session, one of the exercises they had, I knew would destroy my shoulder. I have had a motorcycle accident, and had a surgery on the shoulder, but unfortunately it has never healed completely so I have to be careful what I do, and am somewhat limited in some exercises. I mentioned this to the instructor, and also suggested another shoulder exercise for myself instead of the one they had, which works same muscle but does not put my shoulder into a compromised position. He did not even ask what kind of accident or surgery I had to asses my fitness to his exercise and was adamant I do the exercise he had on the list. I did not want to argue any more and did the exercise his way. I still made sure I was safe by taking much lower weights which basically would not compromise me. Here comes the 3rd day, I come in, and the instructor (who is also owner of the gym) tells me I have to leave, Tver I do not fit with this gym. The reasons cited were these two incidents. I agree I could have handled the first incident better and should not have corrected him in front of the class, and probably just should have told that to him in privets. But unfortunately that’s just how it happened, and I sometimes say things without thinking much in consequences and then I am sorry I say them. This is something I am working on and am improving, or so I hope. But on the second incident I think they are completely in the wrong. I really think they were putting my health in danger without even trying to understand what injury I had and adamantly insisting I still do their exercise. Also they kicked out my wife even though she had not attended a single yet. Basically they kicked out both of us. AITA? Did they do right by kicking me out? | AITA for correcting fitness instructor in the class? | NTA |
10uj62x | I'm laying here waiting unable to get up while my girlfriend Becca (not real name) sleeps so might as well throw this out, I could use an outside opinion for when we talk later so my Becca is low contact with most of her family for reasons related to the circumstances of us getting together, which admittedly were less than ideal. I don't feel the need to put it out there but while there is nothing awful that would get me banned I'll just concede anyone in her family that disapproves of us or me personally whether or not I agree, I understand. Frankly I accept it more than GF does.Anyway so we don't see them, but she's close to my family. The only time shes seen them in the last couple of years was one of her cousin's babyshowers because they are very close so she went, but to not make things awkward for her family I didn't go (she brought her friend instead) even though it upset my Becca because she wanted me to go, she disagrees with letting them have their way regarding my presence but she understands when I tell her.Anyway one of her closest friends (the one she brought instead) was helping my GF plan something for my upcoming birthday apparently when the subject of her family came up and she didn't fall for the deflection my GF normally uses because I guess after going and hearing murmurs about me she was more curious than before. Since she never wanted to lie she's always just been intentionally vague but that didn't hold and this time I guess the combination of persistence, wine, and feeling comfortable with her at this point (they've been friends a little over a year now) got her to let her guard down and she told her the truth, and her friend got upset and they said some things back and forth and her friend ended up leaving and they didn't talk for a few days. When they made up her friend upset her again by pushing an apology and attempt at reconciliation, pushing herself to help, which is not really up to Becca anyway but upset her to discuss. In the end they are ok, but her friend still brings it up occasionally and will say unkind things about me so I told Becca I don't want her at my party because she won't let it go and worse might even try something there.Now Becca is upset because they were planning it together and she is always at these things with us, but I don't trust her friend to not embarrass me or worse, and while I know I've done things I don't think it's relevant. Regardless of everything it is my birthday so I don't want to be on alert and think that's fair. I might be the AH because my girlfriend promises her friend won't pull anything, but with how upset she's been I just don't trust her. AITA?UPDATE: It may not be my issue any more. My girlfriend (think it's getting time to change that to fiance) and I talked over dinner and into the night a bit and apparently her friend's words have been bothering her more than she's let on and is thinking of cutting back on time with her and another. I'm not shocked but I hate that it's working out this way, so we'll see what happens but wow has my girl got my back! | AITA Not trusting GF's good friend at my birthday? | YTA |
10tvhja | My friend invited himself over to watch a show together, saying he'd bring pizza. In the past he's come over with pizza, given myself and my girlfriend each a slice, then eaten THE ENTIRE REST OF THE PIZZA. Ya, sure, it's his, but when I offer him food I always expect he'll eat a full portion and he always does if not more. So I reminded him if he's going to bring pizza that he needs to bring enough for everyone to have an equal share, and he says I'm being unreasonable. AITA? I have no problem providing other snacks to share, but I wouldn't be impressed if again he eats almost the entire pizza himself. | AITA For Insisting My Friend Bring Food For Everyone? | NTA |
10um8c0 | I recently broke it off with my best friend of 4 years. Alot of things contributed to this parting including her making a very toxic best friend and just me feeling left out of this friendship. Remember, the new girl was influencing her personality in a very negative way. After a constant back and forth between me and her, i got tired of this and decided to leave her be, if she wanted she could come around but i wouldn't beg anymore.Between all of this comes another one of her 'best friend' [M]. They became friends first and we both got introduced to one another through her. They were the irl friends but online me and him had begun getting closer as well. Him and her had some weird push and pull relationship where my exbff would push her friendship onto him when he clearly didn't want to be close, declaring herself his best friend when he already refused to the idea and they would constantly fight for petty reasons. Their friendship was toxic in general but there's too many details to explain.So, while we're hanging out one day she makes a very snarky remark and i was not in the mood to deal with that (it was the day before my grandfather's birthday who had passed not long ago) so i refused to talk to her the rest of the day in anger. she later called me crying and i apologized for my behaviour and explained my reasoning. i thought we sorted stuff out but oh boy it was a wishful thinking.After this she started behaving really weird with me and would make comments like "why don't u two just hang out together, you're perfect for each other" when me and him were talking and just generally upset about us getting closer.I've felt really guilty about doing what I did that day and have apologized several times to her and everytime, she reassured me before going back to acting weird. I even asked if she liked him just in case but she refused so i don't understand the problem. We're slowly ignoring each other but it's hard because we have the same friend group.Me and him both were dealing with some similar problems in life atm which just made him a trustable person to talk my problems with. We got closer overtime and exbff and him grew distant and he's told her he doesn't wanna be her bff. At this point me and her are not contacting each other at all because she thinks I've told him to break things off with her. So now my exbff is really rude to me and i feel helpless. AITA for being mad that day and then getting closer to her bff at that time? | AITA for stealing my ex-best friend's best friend? | NTA |
10u6uax | Where I work when we have an in store purchase while working we are checked out by a manager and our items are placed in a clear bag and double knotted. (Loss prevention purposes) we keep our purchase items in that double knotted form and in sight in the breakroom until you leave for the day. My store was having a sale on chocolate bars and chocolate baking melts because they’re expiring in the next few weeks. Me and my coworker/best friend basically bought the same things because we both bake and are looking to make cake pops with the melts. The only thing differentiating our stuff was the candy bars we bought, she bought more than me. When we left for the day i get a text from her realizing we had accidentally grabbed each other bags. I’m like oops haha and leave her bag on the kitchen counter ready to just give her her whenever i see her next. Next day comes and I’m off so I call her when i got home and i realize oh i never got your candy bars. I go to open the bag and realize the bars are missing. I’m so confused because the bag was double knotted still as it was when my manager checked me out. I’m like no way and go to check in the trash if there’s any open candy bar wrappers and sure enough someone ate them. I’m pissed honestly a bit more than my friend is because someone really opened a double knotted bag ate the candy and re double tied it. I leave this note on the corner of the table so everyone can see it. Here’s a visual…Contents of letter taped to empty chocolate wrappers: “To whoever opened this double knotted bag & ate all of the chocolate, you suck & owe my friend 3$ because this wasn’t even mine. I was holding it for her. please think twice before opening someone's double Knotted bag of goods that you didn’t even pay for!!”My sister comes in, reads my note, & automatically is like why would you write this this is so mean. I explain the situation and she’s like ok but what if they were just having a bad day…? What..? I obviously ask her was it you since your being so defensive and she denies. I actually believe her because she actually really doesn’t even like chocolate. we go back and fourth because the math isn’t mathing on how she thinks it’s okay for someone to go through someone else’s stuff because they’re…having a bad day??I tell her next time I’m having a bad day I’ll help myself to her room and whatever she has in there opened or not. I also tell her she would have the same reaction if someone did that to her belongings (reminder, this was my friends candy not even mine so i was even more mad.) I go to her room and start pretending to go through her stuff and yell at her saying next time I’m having a bad day, I’ll go through your shit! She’s really shocked at my reaction and Basically says I hurt her feelings, and I shouldn’t be yelling and cussing at her. She wants me to believe I’m overreacting about the whole thing, but I don’t know if I’m the asshole… | AITA for getting mad someone in my house stole from my friend? | NTA |
10tmzs9 | I (15F) took a jewelry making class at school where we got to make projects based on prompts and after the class ended, we got to take them home. My mother decided to display some of my creations in the living room.Today, I walked in on my mom and my sister, Erin (19F), talking about them. Erin was saying that the jewelry was cool, and my mother told her that since she keeps admiring it and saying that, then she should take it back to her room. I said that just because she thinks its cool, that doesn't mean it automatically belongs to her and she can do whatever she wants with it.My mother asked me whose is the jewelry then, which I thought was a weird question. I'm the one who made it, so it belongs to me, and I said as much. She told me that she "made me," therefore everything that I make should be hers.Then, I asked her if everything that she owns is her mom then, following the same logic. I feel pretty guilty about bringing up my grandmother. She was neglectful and when present she was abusive to my mom. I know that she's been stressed recently with my grandmother spam calling and then proceeding to pretend that she can't hear anything.My mom started yelling at me, asking who buys the materials for the craft projects I make. The school gave me the supplies, so I'm not sure what the logic was there. She said the jewelry shouldn't be in a common area if it's something that belongs to me and how I should take it away because she doesn't want to look at it anymore, so I did. On my way up the stairs to my room, she kept yelling about how I eat the food she makes every day. I hate loud noises, so I just wanted to go back to my room as fast as possible.I think I might be TA here because I brought up my grandmother, especially knowing that my mom's been stressed recently. She told me about a week ago she woke up at 4 AM and couldn't go back to sleep because she had a nightmare about my grandmother standing over her. I wasn't thinking when I said it, and she might have believed I was comparing her to her abusive mother, which does make a lot of sense why that upset her. I was just trying to point out that it's weird to think that a parent automatically owns their kid's belongings. I feel guilty about it. AITA? | AITA for bringing up my grandmother who abused my mother in an argument? | NTA |
10tsbiq | This is driving me crazy so I might rant. When I go out, if I am having a conversation, with my partner especially--(I do this, too, with my friends, but my partner is the person who has the biggest problem with it)--and a waitress or a store employee wanders over to take our order or offer assistance, I STOP TALKING.It's no one but the person I'm speaking to's business what my conversation is, and I know employees don't want to hear it anyway; they're at work. If I'm having a heated discussion or debate I especially clam up; it's very rude to argue or have a "spirited talk" in front of unwilling participants in your little dramas. This is what I was taught. My partner *hates* this & says I'm intentionally dropping the debate when service personnel enter our sphere because "I know I'm losing the argument" or "I want to change the subject." We were going through the Starbucks drive thru and for some reason discussing the very private matter of his upcoming inheritance. As soon as we pulled up to the window, I stopped talking about it. There was the nice, sunny Starbucks girl, smiling and telling us "just a sec" while she gets our cups, then returning and waiting for payment, and my partner just kept going ON and ON about whether or not his Father was going to leave him this or that, and how unfair it all was, *extremely* loudly. I was mortified. I mean, he would not stop. I finally had to just start saying: "Shhh! Shh! Stop this. Please stop! You're being rude. Not in front of strangers... Ok, ok, I see, but Not. In front. Of strangers. PLEASE lower your voice."Well, he got mad and we had a huge blow up about it on our way home.AITA for not wanting to have personal discussions on front of service personnel? | AITA for refusing to speak in front of service personnel? | NTA |
10ud9q9 | My dad and I both have tickets for our local football club. They‘re not tickets you use once but ones that allow you to enter the stadium every game during the entire season. We go every other week. My dad paid for mine and got his for free.Today he started an argument with me. He asked whether I was home tomorrow to accept a delivery of some headphones he had ordered. I told him I was home but would have to take out the dogs at some point and that my mother wasn‘t home so there could be a short time frame in which nobody was home. He got really mad although we told him even if the parcel happened to arrive at a time when I‘m not home, the delivery person would probably give it to a neighbor or throw it in our staircase (our front door is always open) as they always do. He didn‘t want to hear it and got really mad at me and my mom… for not being home.Now, it‘s also raining like crazy. You can‘t bring umbrellas to the stadium so we would arrive there soaking wet (takes us 20 minutes to walk to the stadium) and then would have to sit there wet for 2 hours.I said that because of the rain and also because he just randomly got mad at me and yelled at me and was still annoyed with me I didn‘t want to go today.He‘s even more mad now. He says I was the one to cause the argument because I could stay home when he needed me to this one time. He could have gone to the stadium on his own but he decided not to. I feel bad now because I kinda wasted his money (7 bucks for both tickets) and because he doesn‘t get to go to the stadium now. He could have just gone by himself since he didn’t want to talk to me anyways because of the parcel situation but he‘s blaming it on me now. AITA? | AITA for not going to a football match with my dad? | NTA |
10u3cvf | I [16F] was talking to a group of people in a group chat, and someone posted a video meme of Millie Bobby Brown where she asked what BTS was. This girl got super super mad and started saying how Millie Bobby Brown was uneducated and ignorant for not knowing what BTS was. The video was pretty old too and not recent so it’s not like she said that recently, but the girl was absolutely pissed. I said that it’s not a big deal that she didn’t know what BTS was and I didn’t know them a few years ago either, and I still don’t listen to them. This led to the girl absolutely going ballistic and said I don’t respect Korean culture and I shouldn’t be so racist against them. I genuinely never listened to K-pop cause it’s not the kind of music I like and I do still occasionally listen to some songs from K-pop bands. So, AITA for not listening to K-pop? | AITA for not listening to K-POP? | NTA |
10ug2i8 | I (22M) got upset with my close friend (22F) when she asked me to come for shopping/ exploring for her sisters birthday because I felt she was being ungrateful.So my close friend today asked me to take her to a place for shopping which is 60 Kms back and forth from her home and for which I would have to come and drive to her place first which is 40 km back and forth.Now I was not interested initially because of all the driving I would have to do but would've done that if she maybe showed some appreciation of some sorts or showed some understanding to my situation. Now as per her, she says that we will not be only going for shopping and we would hang out together and eat aswell so it's not a big deal for you to do that. Don't look at as if we're going for shopping. Look at it as if we're going to spend time together. She feels that I don't want to come because I'm looking at it as if I was coming especially to take her shopping. Now my stance on this as I mentioned to her was that, I AM especially coming to take you shopping and we would anyways hang out if we went out so some gratitude or polite request would have been appreciated. But she then rudely said that there's no need to request because it's not that you're only taking me for shopping, we will be spending time together too. You anyways come to meet me all the time so what's the problem now? And if you had a girlfriend you would have done this much anyways for her as these are very basic expectations. She feels I'm asking for extra requests just because there is a task involved in it and I shouldn't look at it that way because we would be hanging out as well.So AITA? | AITA for getting upset and not willing to go shopping with my close friend? | NTA |
10u5hy0 | AITA for calling out a friend (F) in a group chat for flaking 3 hours prior on a agreed upon get together dinner. Background: F is a person that flakes more than then the standard individual, every time we organise something the outliers is always them. Also (where I’m from most restaurants take cc info in case we don’t turn up with the agreed number with a t&c to have a fixed charge per head for no shows).Generally i would message privately but I do not condone people messaging last minute saying they cannot make it because they just bought a few things and are broke and cannot afford it (which I understand on financial hardships or any emergencies).But what I don’t understand is…is it unreasonable for me to ask/say to notify us earlier/day before now few hours to the event and calling them inconsiderate? | AITA Calling out friend for flaking 3 hours prior to an agreed group dinner | NTA |
10udv2r | I am a 18 f and I work as a cashier at a grocery store. I’m relatively introverted, but I’ve been working there for a few months, and I’m getting more comfortable talking to my other coworkers and having friendly conversations with them. However, one of my coworkers recently has started acting rude to me, and I’m not sure why. He (19 m) refuses to address me by name, and when he does, he confuses me with another girl (who looks nothing like me). He also continues to have an attitude when he talks to me, but is generally friendly to everyone else who works with us. Because of this, I don’t feel comfortable asking him questions when I need something done (whenever he works he’s over cashiers and baggers in a way, so we go to him for questions or concerns). Just last night we were closing the store, he was in charge of us closing. He was telling people they could clock out, and addressing them by name while doing so. Since he didn’t say my name, I assumed he wasn’t ready for me to clock out so I stayed at my register to find something to clean. And then maybe like 7 minutes later he randomly says with an attitude “Clock out already, what’re you doing?” Once again I didn’t know who he was talking to because he didn’t address anyone, but I looked up anyway and saw he must be talking to me. Then he tells me “I told you to clock out already, hurry up.” I try to be nice and respectful to everyone, but I was pretty pissed off by his attitude especially since there was no way I could have known he was talking to me since he didn't address me or make any attempt to either. I’m tired of his attitude and different treatment, and it confuses me because he was not like this to me at first, and was actually pretty respectful. I don’t want him to keep treating me like this so I was wondering if I should go to one of my bosses about his behavior, as I don’t feel comfortable speaking to him anymore. I understand that there are just some people like that when having a job and that I won’t be “friends” or “friendly” with all of my coworkers, but I still want respect while on the clock. I don’t want him to get in serious trouble, but I don’t want him to keep talking and addressing me the way he is. Am I being too sensitive? WIBTA? | WIBTA for going to my boss about a coworker? | NTA |
10tnre5 | This is gonna be long so please bear with me. For context, my [F 20] mom [F 50] is a licensed doula, going for her doctorate in health sciences, has numerous degrees, is a professor in different areas of biology, etc. so she’s definitely smart but we don’t see eye to eye on most of the decisions she makes. She’s kind of a hippie in the sense that she also does reiki, she’s an herbalist- definitely a naturopath which I try and respect. Our home life right now is very chaotic. Me, my mom, and my two siblings [M 18, F 15] live in a small bi-level, and in October we took in my two cousins [F 18, M 15] fleeing Russia. On top of that, my brothers girlfriend [F 18] is living with us as well. The living arrangement is this- The three bedrooms upstairs are occupied by my two cousins and sister, my brother and girlfriend stay in two small bedrooms downstairs connected to a converted garage, and my mom and I sleep in a makeshift sort of bedroom area where we use furniture to divide the basement into my room, her room, and laundry room. (She used to have one of the bedrooms upstairs but wanted my two cousins to each have their own bedroom which of course was really considerate of her). Here’s where this is relevant-Normally I’m away at college and only really come home on the weekends, even then I sleep at my boyfriends house as I don’t like to be home. My mom has a client for her doula services who needs somewhere to give birth and she offered her my room. Reminder, this is a small basement area full of clutter that Im not even comfortable living in. Her plan is to move my furniture out of the way to put a birthing tub by my bed so this woman can have her baby there. Am I the asshole for just feeling like there’s gotta be a better solution? My mom says the woman doesn’t want to give birth in a hospital and doesn’t have the money for it. Apparently her own house is being renovated and she can’t give birth there so she has no other option. I feel bad for her but I also know my mom has a track record for making really irrational decisions that are not well thought through. Obviously the baby being born safely comes first in priority, but how would this work? A stranger is gonna give birth in my small house unmedicated inches away from all my belongings with five other kids in the house? I feel like it’s not a clean place to have a baby in? And my siblings/cousins don’t have anywhere else to go so everyone has to be there while she gives birth. My mom says that our discomfort with hearing her give birth is unnatural and that “humans lived this way for centuries” Am I selfish to feel like this plan is flawed? Am I selfish for feeling like there should be a sort of boundary here? I just genuinely don’t believe there’s not a better option and I sense that my mom has this kind of savior complex where she thinks she needs to do this for this woman instead of putting energy into finding a better alternative for her. | AITA for not wanting someone to give birth in my room? | NTA |
10u78vp | I recently wished my best friend from college a happy 26th birthday via text instead of calling her. She felt hurt and asked if it was difficult for me to call, which made me realize that my actions may have come across as insensitive. I responded by saying I had my reasons but couldn't explain, which only made her feel worse.The truth is, I've been feeling emotionally exhausted lately and pursuing a master's degree and moving into a new house has left me with little energy for social obligations. I used to be more proactive in making her birthday special, but over time I've found myself growing apart from her mentally and emotionally.She has faced many hardships, such as losing her mother and taking care of her younger siblings with her emotionally distant father. I understand why she would expect stability from me, but the pressure sometimes becomes too much to bear. Although she has other friends, she often complains about them or feels unable to connect with them emotionally. She sees me as one of the few people who truly understands her.However, we don't have much in common anymore and our conversations revolve around the same topics. I find myself feeling depleted after talking to her and feel like I'm doing it out of a sense of obligation, not because I actually want to talk to her.We bonded during a turbulent time in college, and she has been a supportive friend during my difficult times. She used to be sensitive and giving, but has become jaded by people who have taken advantage of her friendship. Although I feel like I may have pushed her away by not reaching out, I also feel like maybe I was being self-centered and not considering her feelings as one of her closest friends. | AITA for sending a birthday text to my former best friend instead of calling her | NTA |
10uesif | it's summer in my country (Brazil), so my family has a little "ritual": every Saturday when I leave therapy I buy ice cream for the weekend for me and my parents. Last week, I was informed that this Saturday (Feb 4th) I wouldn't have therapy, so I told my mom "I can still go out and buy it Saturday, no problem". but SHE gave another idea, she said: "no, buy Friday, we're gonna go grocery shopping anyway, so we go, we leave the things here and you go buy the ice cream." again, HER idea, SHE suggested it. I said ok, and so we did that. I think it's important to mention that we didn't buy the ice cream at the market because it's really expensive there, i buy it at a store that it's way cheaper.important: ever since the pandemic started, my mom started cleaning every thing that we'd buy before we store it. I personally don't find radical, I'd do the same. anyway, we come back, she started cleaning the groceries alone, I went to buy ice cream and when I came back I helped her cleaning the rest of the groceries. also, keep in mind that every single time we go grocery shopping ALL of us clean together (me, her and my dad when he's home and not working), so she never cleans them alone, please remember that.ok, later that same Friday I noticed she forgot to put the shoe she wore inside the shoe rack we have, so I put it there and I informed her that she forgot to put her shoe there, but I put it anyway. I just say it because I thought she genuinely forgot by accident. she looked at me and said "yeah, I had to wash everything alone that's why I forgot". I was a little taken back because I wasn't expecting that reply, also because she said she washed EVERYTHING alone when i literallyh helped her wash like half of the groceries. I said more or less "well YOU told me to buy it today, if you really didn't want me to go you could have said 'no, buy it tomorrow (Saturday) anyway' or 'no, clean with me first and then you'll go', YOU suggested it", and since then she hasn't really talked to me fairly. yesterday I literally passed out at home when I came back from the gym because of how hot it was and she didn't even notice, or if she did she didn't do anything about it. meanwhile my dad was out working and the second and sent him a message "sorry for the late reply, I think I passed out" he called me to know what exactly happened to me.I'm just in doubt because, again, SHE gave the idea, so I thought she was ok with it, but apparently she isn't. I'm posting here because I'm really lost, I don't know if I did something wrong, she gave the idea Wednesday and I confirmed it again Thursday, so i really thought it was fine.so, reddit, help me: AITA?EDIT: about the shoe part, she personally asked me and my dad to tell her if she ever leaves her shoes out of the shoe racket, that's why I told her, because she never forgets it, so I thought she forgot by accident, but I still informed her anyway, since she asked. | AITA for buying ice cream? | ESH |
10u38jb | obligatory on mobile/ first time posterI (24f) finally found a tattoo artist that I feel comfortable with/ “gets my style”, after my appointment today we began talking about any other tattoos I want and I brought up a tattoo idea for my sternum which we both thought was cool and we’re both excited for. I was happy I was able to get another cool piece done and went home and told my boyfriend (24m) about it, he told me it was weird to “have a guy stare at my boobs for hours” I told him I get at first glance it can be weird I guess but he’s just doing his job and it’s just like having a doctor of the opposite sex, he’s doing his job he’s not worried about boobs. He told me I’d probably be uncomfortable with him getting a tattoo by his peen by a female artist and when I told him I wouldn’t he got more upset and asked me to switch my artist for a female one and when I told him no he basically said he wouldn’t be comfortable with it and it’d be a dick move if I got it done by him. I really don’t want change my artist just because he’s a guy, he’s respectful and not going to risk loosing his job or even getting a rep for being weird towards me and I tried explaining it to him but he still sticks by that’d I’d be an asshole to get it done by him knowing it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable, so am I really an asshole? | WIBTA for letting my male tattoo artist tattoo my sternum | NTA |
10ubnd4 | Myself (m24) and one of my best friends (m24) have gotten in an argument. Basically I met a girl, we will say Jess, a few weeks ago while myself and him were in the bar together, I hit it off with her and we went back to a party together and chatted all night, then went for breakfast together the next day, we said we would stay in contact. Now my friend also got her contact that night, and was being kind of flirty with her, but I ignored it because he is just kind of like that and he said it was just a friendly thing. Anyway, after the night the girl seems to have kind of gone off me as she didn't read my text message, I was kind of hurt because I liked her but c'est la vie I suppose.Anyway, while me and my friend are drinking one night Jess comes up in conversation, in the conversation my friend a) lies and tells me he never got any contact for her himself and b) tells me to block her, we were pretty drunk and I agreed. Fast forward a week. He goes on a night out without me, texts Jess and invites her out with him, even though he said he had no contact previously. She goes out and to be honest I stopped listening to him there because I was pissed off. He says that it's just a friendly thing and I need to get over it, but I've tried to explain that the l was kind of hurt by the whole situation. I also know him and that he doesn't just invite girls out with him, he tends to try and get with anyone.I have stopped talking to my friend now given that he can't seem to understand my issue with the whole thing, AITA? have I overreacted or am I justified? | AITA for getting mad at my friend | NTA |
10u6d33 | This is a throwaway accout and I'm not a native english speaker, sorry for mistakes.So I (24F) have a habit of sleeping while hugging something and my fiance (24M) doesn't like it because it's not him I'm hugging.I've pretty much always needed something soft to hug while I'm sleeping. It just calms me down. When I was a kid I had this teddy, you know when kids have their absolute favourite toy? That was mine. It's still in my room at my parents' place and I still sleep with it whenever I visit. At home I just have an extra pillow to hug. This pillow hugging thing helped me a lot when I was suffering from severe anxiety (I'm better now and getting the treatment I need) and I still find it a lot more comfortable to sleep when I'm hugging something soft.Now this is where I might be the asshole. My fiance has voiced his discomfort in me sleeping with a pillow or a teddy. He's saying I'm giving them more attention than him. Which, btw, isn't true. We spend most of our freetime cuddling on the sofa. We also cuddle in bed whenever he comes to sleep the same time as me but normally I'm already asleep when he comes to bed.He has tried to hide my pillows and my teddy. He has also "tortured" my teddy as punishment and it might sound stupid but it really hurt because it's my teddy and I love it. I'm not giving up on my pillow hugging no matter how uncomfortable he is or how many times he hides my pillow.So, Reddit. AITA? | AITA for making my fiance jealous of a pillow? | NTA |
10t9d4d | My husband is a horrible gift giver. It's gotten to the point that I dread my birthday because I know I am going to be let down. This Christmas was the final straw for me. I got him a bunch of things that were personal that I knew he would like. He got me a tray for the microwave so I could heat up our two kids plates at the same time and a book about horrible mom's (I had a baby two months prior). It felt like such a slap in the face. I gave him ideas (sent him links to three rainboot options, tickets to a show I want to see, massage, even chapstick), but nope, bad mom and something for the kids (half his gifts to me now are gifts for the kids). It's not a money thing, just a show you care about me thing, not that you found something on prime. WIBTA if I said no more gifts between us? | WIBTA if I told my husband that we should stop trading gifts? | NTA |
10uajps | Was at a party last night. Those guys knew I had a problem, and I told them at the beginning that I didn’t was to drink. After some time, they began to pressure me heavily to drink, and I tried to resist, but I eventually relented. I ended up getting way too drunk and caused a problem (not a serious one though), and now they’re annoyed with me. I understand that it’s nobody’s fault besides my own for what happened, and I should have just said no, but does this still make me an asshole for getting too messed up when they wanted me to? | AITA for getting too drunk (as an alcoholic) at a party where my friends pressured me to drink? | ESH |
10u8rjs | So it's my birthday next week, I've been trying to organise something for the last month as people would have plenty of notice if anyone was working the weekend. So I invited my friends, my GF and a couple of family members around the same age (we all in our early to mid 20s) however, most if not all the people I invited didnt respond or said no for various reasons (some understandable and others are clear BS). The only ones that said yes were my GF and My friend that I work with. I was livid at it as I didnt plan anything crazy, just drinks in my house as it would be free (moms away for that weekend) so i got mad at realising this and just cancelled the whole thing and instead planned something with a bunch of other friends in the city near me, i didnt do this because my close group dont like drinking there. Sadly my GF also said she wont be going due to work the next day, plus I know she wont like the venue I picked and 2 of my close friends said I'm being a selfish Asshole. AITA?Edit: forgot to mention my gf is ok with it and she said we're gonna do something over the weekend2nd Edit: I fucked up, turns out theyre doing a surprise... fuck 😭 | AITA For Cancelling My Original Birthday Party? | YTA |
10uo9p1 | Typing on mobile so not grammatically or structurally correct. I (18 F) am currently enrolled in college. I have two roommates (both 18 F). Today, we had a dispute over chores. We all promised to do our own dishes. I have but sometimes the dishes weren’t clean enough and instead of telling me to wash them again they tossed the dishes back in the sink and never told me. Only one person does their chore most of the time. Their chore is trash. I have floors. The thing is I was not raised with fully wooden floors. All I did was vacuum carpet and even then it was when visitors or family came. I’m not used to doing the floors every week as the chore list hasn’t been changed since we came back from winter break and is supposed to switch. Roommate 1 has told me we don’t care about the chore list the floor is filthy because of me (my side which I apologized for). She has bathroom and has never cleaned it. Since I’m the messiest person in our room so I sweep once in awhile on my side. I often don’t have to clean the floors on my roommates sides because roommate 1 only stays over like once or twice a week. Roommate 2 barely makes messes. The last issue is my desk. I leave food on it for 1-2 day max and toss it. They have a tray that they leave snacks on often by their beds. I also have paperwork and journals and random things on it. I have issues organizing but I know where stuff is. It bothers the both of them. They both are telling me I’m being rude and disrespectful to them because of these issues. AITA for this? | AITA for the dispute with my roommates. | ESH |
10uo7ec | Hello people of redditMy cousins dad and my aunt have recently gotten an divorce. And i was wondering wibta if i unfriend him on various platforms as he does alot of post that are annoying to look at. The thing is i think my counssin could get quaigt (how the f do you spell that) angry at me for it so pls help what should i do | WIBTA if i unfriend my cousins dad | NTA |
10svtv3 | Myself (43M) and my wife (41F) have lived on our street for years with our two boys, James (12M) and Sam (6M). Every Saturday morning Sam and I have a ritual, he calls them our dude walks. We look for spiders, dig in the mud, and stop at our neighborhood park to play. It's sort of a standing meetup for a bunch of parents in the area.Recently a new family moved in the next block over. The mother mentioned that she had two boys too, Kyle (13M) and Aiden (7M). I told her about the Sat morning park group in case she wanted to meet some neighbors.When she showed up with Aiden it was clear he has special needs. The mom was friendly, she sat with all the parents while the kids played. Aiden is an enthusiastic player. Loud noises, banging on things, getting up in the other kids faces. The mom was good about correcting him, and he wasn't aggressive, just excited.The other kids are wary when he flails, but they include him in play still. One Sat he was having an especially tough day. I called Sam over for a snack. He said "I don't want to play with Aiden, can we go home?" So we left. The next day Aiden's mom came to my door. She told me that I should have talked to him about differently abled people instead of just abandoning her son. We agreed to talk to Sam.The next weekend Sam said hi to Aiden, they played together a bit, but when Aiden got loud again, Sam retreated to the highest platform where Aiden was scared to go. When Aiden asked him to be his partner for a game, Sam said no thank you. I felt that was fine. My wife still felt bad, so she invited them over.Aiden had one melt down but other than that it went fine. Afterwards Sam asked please could Aiden not come over again. I asked James what he thought of Kyle, he said that the kid was obnoxious and didn't smell great.The next weekend, Aiden destroyed my son's favorite toy. He snapped the arms and legs off. Sam yelled "YOU ARE A VERY MEAN LITTLE BOY!" I did not make him apologize, we just left.Now instead of going out in the morning, we go on Sat afternoon after Aiden has left the park. After a few weeks, some others started joining us. We didn't discuss why. But I suspect that they didn't all shift their weekend routine around solely because they missed my sparkling personality.Aiden's mom eventually got wind of it. I don't know how. She wrote us a long heartfelt letter. She felt I had not done enough to discourage Sam from ostracizing Aiden and that my "pull" in the neighborhood was influencing others to avoid her son now too.Sam has tried his best. He's verbalized his need for boundaries from Aiden to us three times now. James has also been clear that he doesn't like the brother, Kyle. As long as both of my kids treat them with respect, I'm satisfied. I can't control what the other parents choose to do. We'll continue to be friendly and be good neighbors if they need a hand, but not play with them. AITA? | AITA for letting my son avoid a special needs child? | NTA |
10tzklr | My husband (30m) and I (29f) both work in public service. We are both underpaid (but pretty evenly) which is typical in our area for our professions. We were talking about money the other night and he mentioned me picking up a second job. I got really mad. I’m a full time working mom to a 14 month old. The time that I have “off” is spent caring for our child, running errands, taking care of the home, etc. I snapped and told my husband he needs to get a different job. He got mad and was going on and on about how much he loves his job. But he’s 9 years in, and I’m making the same as he is with only 2 full years in. There is no raise or advancement in sight for him in the near future. He loves his job and he’s really good at it. But I feel like him asking me to pick up a second job (in reality it would be more like a 3rd job), is really selfish. He’s had several opportunities arise outside of his field that offer significantly more than what he makes now and he keeps turning them down because he “wouldn’t enjoy it”. I told him that if money is that big of a problem, then he needs to buck up and take a higher paying job especially when they keep being offered. Am I the asshole? | AITA for telling my husband he needs to get a different job? | NTA |
10tx197 | 4 months ago my (f21) boyfriend(m23)s mom told him that I was very good at soccer when I was a teenager and his grandpa had recruited me and found me a scholarship to play club. My mother declined because she didn’t want the commitment. His mom asked him not to tell me this. I found out from him today because his mom started to tell me everything except for my mom declining because I was talking about how bad I was at soccer. (I’ve been telling everyone I was bad at soccer my whole life. I never knew I was apparently really good). Anyways after we left he told me that my mom had declined and his mom told him four months ago and asked him not to tell me. This makes me feel betrayed because if it were the other way around I feel I would have told him. I don’t think there should ever be secrets in a relationship especially when this is about me. He thinks I’m an asshole for being hurt by him not telling me and that I should understand he has a right to not tell me. AITA for being hurt by this? Would you avoid telling your partner this if your parent asked you not to? TLDR: Boyfriends mom asked boyfriend not to tell me my mom declined me a fancy soccer scholarship as a teenager. He kept it a secret for 4 months and now I feel betrayed and he thinks it’s unfair for me to be hurt by it.Edit: update of my conversation with my mom in the comments. | AITA for being hurt my boyfriend didn’t tell me my mother declined a soccer scholarship for me when I was a teenager. | NTA |
10tgsnn | I (F25) grew up without a dad. He was in the picture until I was about 6-7 years old, after that MIA for the next 10 years. I grew up with my mom (mentally unstable but doesn’t admit it). I had pretty hard childhood, sometimes nothing to eat, sometimes we even lived without electricity. When I turned 16 I left home, got my first job and my own apartment. My dad contacted me in 2015 and I agreed to meet him. I wouldn’t say that we discussed our issues, we rather concentrated on the present and the future. After few months of talking to him (we live in different states) he announced that he is having a baby with his girlfriend. I had no problem with that, technically it is my half-sister (8 y/o) but I take her as my real sister. We don’t meet often but when we do I am very happy to see her, I also get along very well with her mother, I’d say even better than with my dad. But in no way I take her as my stepmom since I’m already a grown up. Ever since my sister was little she said “I love you” very often to close family. Whereas I have never said it to anyone, except my boyfriend and even then it took me a long time. So I’m not used to say it to anyone else, I just don’t feel comfortable. My dad gets mad every time my sister says “I love you” and I don’t say anything back. I am mad at him since I didn’t have the childhood and environment where I could have said it and mean it from the bottom of the heart, I just didn’t have (and still don’t) that kind of relationship with my parents. In my eyes it’s their fault that I had the childhood that I had and I don’t think I could say “I love you” since they don’t deserve it. So AITA for not saying “I love you” to my sister? | AITA for not saying “I love you” to my 8y/o sister? | NTA |
10sr0wi | I 23 am the oldest of five siblings and I am a full time student. I also have a part time job in my field but when I complete my after degree my employer will take me on full time. I make enough from part time to pay for school and put money aside. My siblings range from 20-10. Both of our parents work full time. I have taken on a lot of the responsibilities for keeping everything running in the house. I do the grocery shopping, the laundry as well as making suppers and doing meal prep so everyone has lunches ready to take every day. I also get all my siblings to do their part with regards to household chores. For example my youngest brother is responsible for feeding and walking the dogs. So I make sure that there is dog food in the storage and poop bags on the leash. My dad works very long hours and my mom works 9-5 at a hard job. Over Christmas I had a chance to buy a PS5 for myself so I did. The rest of my family is still using a shared PS4. I keep mine in my room and I do not share. My parents started fielding complaints from my oldest brother about how I made so much money and I don't share the things I buy for myself. Totally true. So they had a talk with me where they brought this up. I pointed out how much of the household work I did and they said it wasn't fair that o was earning so much money without contributing. They told me how much they expected from me. I went to my room and did the math. If I gave them what they wanted I would have about $800 a month left over. If I dropped a couple of classes next semester I could go to almost full time hours with my employer and and it would only be one more year until I graduated with my second degree. But I could afford my own place and I would have way more free time and disposable income. I packed up and moved out. Everything I owned fit in my car. I stayed at an Airbnb for two weeks until I could get everything sorted with an apartment, school, and work. It was great. I'm not going to lie I may have gone a little overboard on Tinder. I couldn't have women over to my parents house. I just moved into my own apartment. I'm staying part time until I finish this semester. I will work full time over the summer and go to a lighter class load/higher work hours in the fall. My oldest brother has been tasked by my parents to do everything I used to do. His chores have been split up with the other three. They are all pissed at me for moving out. My parents are upset that I left them in the lurch. My siblings are mad that they all have more chores. My oldest brother is especially salty because he has no free time to see his girlfriend and she isn't allowed in the house when my parents aren't home. I'm enjoying my free time. I bought myself a plant from IKEA. I feel bad for screwing them all over but it didn't make sense for me to do all that work and pay rent on top.#EDITAll the chores were split fairly. I wasn't doing any more than anyone else. I thought it was fair until I was asked to out in money as well. | AITA for moving out when my parents asked me to pay rent. | NTA |
10tsk1q | I [24F] wear semi-permeant hair extensions that are fused to your own hair by a specialist, and the cost of the hair and install is pricey. Hair alone usually runs me about $1200, and getting them installed is another $400. I also am tattooed, and my regular artist was away traveling but I was itching for a new tattoo. I have one on my neck that I have wanted to get colored. I figured that because the tattoo was already done, I was fine going to another artist and I called around a few of the "walk in, no appointment needed" shops in my area to ask if they’d color it in. I did end up finding one who had an opening. He was an older guy who did a lot of traditional work, so was fine to just put flat color. The tattoo starts behind my ear and wraps to the front of my throat. So artist had me down on a table on my side, with my hair pulled back. When he was done he gave me a mirror to look. I immediately notice that there is blue ink splattered into my hair on the side of my head, and freaked out a little bit and asked the artist if he could wipe it off. He got short with me and wiped it a few times, but it wouldn't come out. Told me that I would have to go home and wash it with dish soap. I trusted his opinion, so I paid and left.When I got home I tried washing my hair but nothing would make it come out. I texted pictures to my stylist, and she confirmed that I would have to have the extensions in that area replaced entirely to fix.I emailed screenshots of the conversation to the shop owner. I said I was upset my hair had been ruined and that I would have to pay hundreds of dollars to fix. I also asked if it was normal for that much ink to be splattered (and, if so, why the artist hadn't warned me or covered my hair during?). Owner offered to refund me the cost of the tattoo so that I could put that towards having my extensions professionally fixed. I took the refund, and did use it to pay my stylist.I had been venting to friends in our group chat, and one friend “April” started laying into me saying I was being a "brat" by accepting the refund for something that wasn't the artists fault. She thinks that the shop will reimburse me by taking away the payment from the artist- I said that I figured the owner had some sort of refund budget as part of shop expenses but she called me naïve and said I had no idea how small businesses work. April also said that it's not the artist's fault I choose to wear expensive extensions, and would I have done that if it had only gotten on my actual hair that didn’t cost over a grand. I said that if fixing it was just as expensive then yes I would have. April acted like that was a ridiculous answer. She thinks I am being a Karen and that I should return the refund. My other friends are not picking a side, so they aren’t agreeing with April but they also aren’t disagreeing with her. I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong here, but the reactions are worrying me...AITA? | AITA for making my tattoo artist "pay" for my hair extensions? | NTA |
10ttqxs | My husband and I have been renting a house for a few years now and recently our landlord has decided to sell. In an unusual move they asked if we would be interested in buying, we agreed we would, if the price was right. Fast forward a little while and I get a message from the landlord saying they have a price and are we still interested? The price is well over what husband and I think the property is worth and although not really outside of our affordability, more than we want to spend. We then look at some different properties in our range, put in some offers and one was accepted. I have also messaged the landlord back and said thanks but unfortunately too pricey. Landlord comes back and asks what our price range is and I tell her something which is actually a little lower than our full range. She then comes back to say the lowest they can accept is actually this amount, a price within our range and almost £10,000 less than she’d originally stated.The property we have had an offer accepted on is same bedrooms and roughly same size but has a garden and a drive which our current property doesn’t. It’s also on a lot cheaper(mainly cos it needs updating decor wise but that’s not an issue for us). I think the other property is a better investment as we have recently had a baby and the other property would be better longer term for him and a possible sibling to grow up in due to it having a garden and being in a much quieter area.Since the price of the current property has come down my husband seems to think we should stay where we are. I have been honest and told him, I still think they are asking for more than the property is worth and that I don’t see us living there for more than a few years whereas with the other property I could see us there maybe not for life but for a good length of time. I think he just wants to take the easy option as he has done this before when we faced a similar situation. He got a bit irate with me and now I’m wondering if I’m being an asshole for insisting we buy the other property?EDIT: over the weekend he has come round and realised that the other property is a better investment long term.I say the offer of buying the property is unusual as having had a similar situation a few years back we weren’t offered that option and others we know who have rented have also had the same experience of just being served a notice giving 60 days to move out.Also re offer accepted on the other property i dunno how it works elsewhere but here we can back out up to exchange and I think even then you have a 7 day grace period. You might still have certain fees to pay but there isn’t a financial penalty as such. | AITA for not wanting to buy the house we rent? | NTA |
10um0ff | I (F19) came to college and became really close with T(F19). We are in a huge friend group. We are all now sophomores and T and I had some problems that ultimately ended our friendship. She was very inconsiderate and would do things to her own benefit. In certain situations, she didn't think about how her actions hurt people and in other cases, she thought about her actions but didn't care who she would hurt as long as she got what she wanted. That was one of the main things I have a problem with. After that, I sat in my room for a period of time depressed and even didn't eat for a full 24 hours. I distanced myself from the friend group and left the group chat we had. It's not that I hate T, I just am completely disappointed in her and my anxiety gets extremely bad around her. T has tried to talk to me about our friendship, but it came off as passive-aggressive and I felt like I was being gaslit and I had basically kicked her out of my room.In comes a mutual friend L(F20). L had a very neutral approach and made it clear that she was friends with both of us even though T asked her who's side she was on. It got to a point where L wanted us to have a mediation so we could co-exist in the same space because she saw I was isolating myself but didn't want to cut T off just because of me. I agreed to it, but after some other situations in which I had to be around T, I'm thinking about canceling the mediation. My anxiety just gets completely bad around her and I don't fully know how to control my anger. I don't want to be the angry person I used to be and just go off and say something disrespectful.WIBTA? | WIBTA If I Canceled My Mediation With Someone In My Friend Group? | NTA |
10ubb9g | My siblings (16m and 14f) and I(15f) were stay at my grand parents house due to a big problem in ours, by the end of it my grandparents had enough of it so we went to stay at our uncles house, my uncle said we should cook our grandparents dinner so we did at least me and my brother anyway, we first had to do shopping we had a 50$ budget so we had to work around that me and my brother did all that shopping will my sister looked at cake just because she wanted to, when it came the day we had to cook my cousin(20f) had asked if any of us wanted to hang out me and my brother both said we were busy but my sister said yes and went, meanwhile me and my brother were cooking all day I even had to go the the shops because we had a change in plan, got lost twice and she still wasn't back, she said she would be back when dinner started and she was back 30 minutes after it started, when I said she free loaded the whole day I was told "it's your fault you didn't go out too" and "you didn't have to cook" and "you could of left it all to your brother, it's not like your the only one who can cook" I am the only one who can cook with out help last time my brother and sister did everyone got food poisoning. She free loads all the time but people don't believe me when I tell them. AITA | AITA For telling my sister she's a free loader and probably wont make it dar because of that | NTA |