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minoosh

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HOPE

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about three days

0id

and it In that time did you experience any? any physical feelings at all?

1irq

Dude, I mean, I was shaking. very shaky. I got I was on edge all the time. I was not working properly, and I was sweating. And I just felt absolutely lousy. Yes. take time off work. No, I didn't take time I couldn't do I didn't dare take time off work. I just said I had a bit of a cold, right. But I thought to myself, well, I can't carry on like this. And so I had a couple of largers on the work. And that made that made you feel better on the straight and narrow.

0id

Did you ever feel? Do you ever get those similar sorts of feelings in the morning when you wake up?

5yq

Yeah,

8op

you do. And what happens yet when you have a drink in the morning that makes you feel better? Does, right? Yeah. If you don't have that drink in the morning, what happens

4crq

over the time I get to work I just feel. Again, I feel pretty shaky and very on edge. And as I say I don't touch it when I'm at work. Got a pretty responsible job. And I do, as I said, Don't touch it at work,

0id

and you work as a bank manager.

4crq

I do

8op

Okay. Has anyone has anyone commented apart from your wife about your drinking? Have you ever had any more serious health problems from your drinking? Have you ever seen a doctor or had sometimes people get loss of memory or Fitz Shams? Very serious shakes, they need to go into hospital.

1irq

He does some blood tests.

0id

And did that show anything?

1irq

It wasn't too good.

0id

Right?

4crq

And then I because of my you know, my wife friend to leave me basically. That's what got me to see the GP. Oh, he did some blood tests. And he said your liver, you know, told me I've got to cut it down a bit. What did he say about a room and he said he was going to refer me to somebody to talk about it.

0id

Right. Okay. And how did you feel about that?

1irq

Well, I wasn't exactly over the moon when he suggested it. But um Well, I suppose you know if it's a choice of coming to see you, and then or my wife leaving me. I came to see, I don't want to lose her.

0id

So I can see that it's had quite an impact at home. Yeah, well, but outside the home, how's your drinking affected jobs or anything else? My job about relationships other than your wife with family friends? Well, any other serious consequences? Yeah,

7ack

I have to go to family dues dragged along there. But I mean, I don't I mean, I avoid mixing with my work colleagues socially. I find that bores me, because if I'm in the pub with them, I've tried it once and I found I needed a drink and you know, I thought, well, I'm going to put my foot in it if I carry on like this. I left early, and I just make excuses. I don't I don't socialize with them anymore.

0id

Okay, thanks for coming to talk to me today.

2gt

So How you doing today? I heard you. I'm doing Okay, thanks for asking. What's your name?

1irq

Tom, Tom Beckwith

0id

And which hands you normally write? Right? Right hand would be all right to ask you some questions about your memory.

0id

2017

3gc

What season of the year is this?

1irq

Winter

0id

What is the date today?

1irq

The 16th

0id

what day of the week is this?

1irq

Tuesday?

0id

What month is this?

1irq

January

0id

Can you tell me what country we're in?

5yq

the United States.

0id

What County are we in?

1irq

Wilmington.

0id

What city are we in?

1irq

Wilmington.

0id

What is the name of this building?

1irq

the Graduate Center.

0id

What floor of the building are we on?

1irq

First floor

0id

Apple table penny

0id

Remember what they are. Because I'm going to ask you to name them again in a few minutes.

0id

WORLD.

0id

DLORW

0id

What were the three objects I asked you to remember?

1irq

Apple table Penny

0id

What is this called?

1irq

Watch

0id

What is this called?

1irq

Pen.

0id

No ifs, buts or ants

0id

Close your eyes.

0id

Thank you.

2gt

So you made your bed. That's great. really makes a difference. How did waking up earlier ago?

1irq

Well, it worked for like a day or two, but then the power went out. So then my alarm clock stopped working. And then I kinda started sleeping in again.

0id

I thought that might happen. So I made this sign for you. It'll help you remember to set the alarm.

0id

Oh, I did get out to the park.

0id

How did that go?

4crq

didn't go so well. I don't have enough clean clothes and I felt really uncomfortable. This thing is really hard, man. Like why bother?

6cd

Well, that's why I bought you these. We can put your dirty clothes in To the hamper. And your clean clothes, you can fold them up and put them into this bin.

0id

That's cool. Okay,

7ack

Well last time we talked about how you forget to take a shower, so I brought you this hygiene basket because remember if you become overwhelmed, if you keep it here by the bed, it'll remind you to take a shower and you can carry it with you.

0id

I think I could use a shower. I want to go have one.

0id

I'll put the calendar up for you and also put this picture I love up here by the bed. Well, guess what? I got you a container so you can put all your meds in. If you fill it up for each day, and keep it by your bed with a glass of water. It will remind you to take your pills

0id

I'm gonna go take that shower now.

0id

Sounds good. I'll put up your calendar.

0id

Hello, Sarah, how you doing today?

2gt

All right.

2gt

I understand that you've come to counseling because you have a particular issue that's been bothering you recently.

0id

Yeah, I've been I've been really stressed out at work. I just I'm getting to the point where it's really hard to handle things that are going on. So for work related problems

0id

are you okay talking about that today.

5yq

I think I need to Yeah.

8op

So I'd like to do in the beginning, is kind of set a plan for our meeting today, okay. And we can move off that plant if we need to, but I just like to start with that, and give us some structure to what we'll be doing. So, first, and this is something I want to co create with you, right? So your input is extremely valuable to it. I don't want to just lay it out and we follow it. I want you to be an active part of putting this together. So as I throw out some ideas, let me know if it's something that makes sense to you or doesn't. Okay? I'd like to start by having you explain in depth kind of what you're going through at work. I know it's troubling you and I want to hear that story. Then you're going to look for some patterns in the way you're thinking And see if there's something that I recognized all that something I can point out, that may help you a bit. And we'll get more to that later. And then to kind of as we wrap up with towards the end, maybe start getting some ideas of things you can do between sessions between now and we'll see you next time that can help combat these symptoms make you feel better. Okay. Does that seem like a fairly straightforward agenda? Any changes or anything you'd like to make to that?

0id

No, I think as long as you think I can tell my whole story in enough time

9on

We'll see. Okay. So, you know, you just kind of tell me what's going on as you feel comfortable. And don't worry about the agenda. Okay. Just know that overall, that's kind of what I'm thinking about for the structure. Okay. And then You know, as we as we wrap up, we'll set to make an appointment next time and, and like I said, we'll end up with some ideas, I hope they can help you. So let's get started with kind of, you know, your experience with all this. So tell me about your, your job.

0id

Okay, so I, I'm a caseworker, and you know what I do, I usually go into people's homes and, you know, talk to the families, do inspections, that kind of thing. And, you know, I've been doing it for a while now, not too long, but about five years. And overall, I like my job and everything. But just, you know, something happened at work, and it just really kind of, I just feel like, one minute, everything was fine. And now, it just feels like everything's really out of control. So, you know, I was just, you know, doing my normal job making reports and everything like that. And, you know, I made a report about this family that I felt, you know, maybe the children weren't getting quite What they needed, they seemed malnourished The house was really unclean. You know, I suspected that the parents were using drugs there, and it's just really not a good environment. And, you know, turns out that the kids were taken away. And, you know, the family. It just unlike really freaked out, you know, maybe the kids aren't doing well. They're away from their parents, even though it wasn't a great environment. I know that the kids really love their parents, and it's just, it's really, really weighing on me and it's become kind of like a really big issue at work. I guess we're like, everybody knows about it. And, you know, I just feel like I tore this family apart. And I don't know if I made the right decision. And I just, it's like, you know, I used to just, I used to be so confident in what I did. And now I just feel like I'm second guessing everything.

0id

This is really stressful.

0id

Yeah.

7ack

So you'd like some make sure I understand. You like your job? But this, this dealing you've had with this particular family. And what happened as a result of that dealing has just really thrown you for a loop.

4crq

Yeah, it's making me not like my job. Like, I wake up in the morning. And I'm like, I should just pretend I'm sick. I don't want to go, you know, I just feel like, you know, at night, I'm more stressed out, you know, maybe I have an extra glass of wine and I just feel so on edge all the time.

6cd

So it's really drastically changed the work experience.

4crq

Yeah. I used to enjoy going to work and you know, feel fulfilled. And now I just feel like, I do not want to go at all.

6cd

So there's a sense of dread, anxiety. Yeah. Do you feel doubtful?

5yq

Yeah, definitely, I think anxiety more so but I definitely feel down like, you know, even on the weekends, sometimes I just wake up and I want to stay in bed and you know, I just I feel like I'm having a good time and then I remember what happened and it just brings me back to that place and I've just I don't like it.

0id

It's not not a good feeling

0id

My sense is that you're trying to say something and then you just kind of almost like gave up there.

11orq

Well, what I'm trying to talk about and I don't know what else like you want me to do. I told you that I'm not good. I'm getting something out of therapy. I feel like I'm being very clear, but I guess I'm not.

10od

Are you feeling angry at me?

1irq

I mean, I'm feeling angry that the therapy isn't working. Like I've been saying. I'm feeling angry that like, I'm still in the place that I'm in. Even though I've been trying. I'm like, just feeling like, I'm feeling like pissed in general, you know?

0id

Right. So, you know, I understand that you're pissed in general. But are you angry at me? I mean, it sounds to my senses here that you're feeling angry at me right now. If you are. I really want to know about it.

4crq

Well, I mean, I guess there is a part of me that's like a little. Yeah, a little angry. That you're not the Helping me. I came is there because I wanted to feel better. And yeah, I mean, I guess I am feeling angry that that's not like what I'm getting from you even though that's what I what I'm trying to get. So

6cd

yeah, you're sounding really exasperated to me. How does it feel to tell me about this?

4crq

It feels hard. I mean, the feels hard to say that I'm angry. It's like not a feel it's not a comfortable thing to say or not a comfortable thing to feel. It's just like makes me like

6cd

Okay, so I want to push you too hard. But can you say any more about that while you're what's uncomfortable bother. So I mean, I do understand that it's uncomfortable. I mean,

1irq

it's not something I would like ordinarily say to someone that I'm angry at them, so feels like, I feel like I'm kind of anxious now like even saying, like, I don't want you to think I just like that. It's like your fault. It just like feels like I'm like, that's something I'm really not supposed to say.

0id

So, I mean, part of it sounds like is you're concerned that I'm going to feel like you're blaming me.

11orq

Really? I guess. I don't want to do that. But yeah. Yeah. It is hard to feel like this. I feel like I'm alone in this therapy that like, I've been coming here and trying and I'm just not like getting anything from you. Okay, so that

10od

sounds really important, right? It sounds like you're you know, it's hard to say this. But you're you know, you're feeling angry of the maybe you feeling disappointed? You're feeling all alone. Yeah, like you can't even really talk with me about this.

4crq