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zjphc5

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/Cheddar\_block46](https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheddar_block46/). She posted in r/toddlers. Shout out to u/SoftwareTree for sharing this saga with me. Your daily fun fact about dolphins for those of you on mobile who don't want spoilers: Dolphins are very social animals, generally living in pods of two to 40 dolphins. Pods of up to 100 dolphins are not uncommon! ([source](https://30a.com/20-facts-about-dolphins/)) **Trigger Warning:** >!Child abuse, domestic abuse, !< **Mood Spoiler:** >!Things are looking up for OOP and her son!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/xhvl9o/am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: September 18, 2022** So last night I put my 3 year old down for bed and then got into bed myself, my husband wanted to stay up a little longer and play video games. At about 10:30 I got woken up by small tugs on my blanket. My son was having nightmares. I picked him up and laid him down next to me, he cuddled up to me and went to sleep. My husband finally came to bed around 11 and was mad to find our son in our bed. He woke me up and told me I needed to put him back in his bed because I'm spoiling him by giving him so much attention. My son only sleeps with me like 1 or 2 times a month but totally would more if his dad allowed it. My husband told me to stop coddling our son because he "isn't a baby anymore" I still feel like he's my baby and I need to protect him. He gets scared at night and just wants his mama. My husband also gets mad and says I need to "stop giving him so much affection so he'll pay attention to his dad more". Am I doing something wrong? I don't feel like I am, I just want the best for my baby. ***Relevant Comments:*** "Thank you. I'm just trying to do the best I can for my little boy. I am almost entirely sure that he is autistic, because I have autism and he seems to have similar symptoms. I could be wrong. But if I'm right, I imagine it already makes big emotions even harder for him to deal with." *Someone asks if she's discussed her son's potential neurodivergence with her husband:* "I have, we are going to talk about it with our pediatrician next time we see her! My husband is still very stubborn though. After reading through these comments I have decided to push for couples counseling as well as just independent therapy with my husband." *More about husband and son's relationship:* "My son has always been more attached to me. His first words were Mama. When he cries he always wants me. His dad just says "you're alright, get over it."" "I know why he wants me more, but my husband has lead me to believe that his attachment to me, isn't good." *More about her relationship with husband:* "Reddit has made me fully realize how much of a jerk my husband has become since we had our son. I'm just trying to raise our little boy better than we were raised. He is still caught up on some bullshit from his youth. When I met him he was sweet and caring. But since we had our baby he lost all his charm." **Update** [One](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/xmxtum/update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: September 24, 2022** So after reading all your replies and suggestions. I pushed for counseling with my husband, he refused. He said he survived his childhood and a little rough parenting will do our son some good. I told him our son is 3 and doesn't need to suppress his feelings. We dropped it there. Yesterday he pushed me over the edge. My son was playing with some wooden blocks in the living room. At one point he got a bit to excited and threw one. It hit his dad. His dad started screaming and ran over to my son and slapped him across the face. I started yelling at my husband and told him he would never hit my son again. He told me he deserved it. I packed a bag and my son and I are currently staying at my parent's house. I'm filing for a divorce. My son will not be beat by his own father. 3 year old is oblivious to the whole situation, he's very happy to spend a couple days with grandpa and grandma. He is especially excited he gets to sleep in the "big bed" with mom. But I can't help feeling like I'm wrong for this, will this affect him mentally growing up? Am I being selfish by trying to take his father away? I love my son but I don't want him to grow up getting hit anytime he messes up. ***Relevant Comments:*** *Someone comments "bUt FaMiLy"* "After sitting, and thinking, for hours on end. I've come to the conclusions that I should've done this a long time ago. I want what's best for my son. I'm sorry you didn't have a dad growing up. But I'd rather be a single mom, than be married to an abusive piece of work. My child just turned 3, 2 months ago, he definitely doesn't have an opinion. He doesn't understand the situation. Also, I already provide for my family. Getting rid of my husband would give me MORE money month to month. My husband works in fast food, no education. I am a school teacher and I work at a small business most evenings. My son comes with me to work most days. My husband lives in MY house. I pay all MY bills, I buy all food, I spend plenty of time with my son. I will always defend my son. I will never let a man who can barely take care of himself tell me how to raise my son. My BABY will not be beat because his dad is butthurt over his own childhood. I'm sorry you don't understand the severity of the situation. Maybe one day you will." *True Colors are revealed:* "I'm not entirely sure if dad wants to stay in the picture. He said if I divorced him then I would be on my own and that he want nothing to do with my "spoiled brat" of a son." **Update** [Two](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/xo5uj7/2nd_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: September 25, 2022** "My husband showed up at my parents house and my dad made him leave. He keeps messaging me, I'm screenshoting everything he says. My mom and dad are helping me get through this. My husband keeps threatening me and I'm documenting all of it. My son is still oblivious and only wants to go home cause he misses our cats. Since we've been staying with my parents, I've noticed slight changes in my son's attitude and behavior. He seems happier. He doesn't seem as scared to play rough with toys or be a little loud. He also stopped asking if he could get in the bed with me and instead just climbs in and snuggles into me. I'm over joyed to see my son so happy and toddler like. Seeing how quickly he brightened up after not being around his dad for 4 days makes me wonder what his dad was doing when he had time alone with our son. I'm very thankful for all the help and support and will keep you all updated as time progresses." ***Relevant Comment:*** "I have already reported it with the police. I reported it the night it happened." **Update** [Three](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/xqxz6m/3rd_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: September 28, 2022** So, a lot has happened. So yesterday at about 5 or 6pm my husband decided he wanted his WIFE back, not his son, just his wife. So he showed up at my parents house and started beating on the door. We told him to leave, he didn't, eventually he started fighting my dad saying he "just wants his wife back". Eventually the police were called and my dad pressed charges against him for assault. But other than that, my little boy has started doing this absolutely adorable thing when we are going to sleep. When he snuggles up to me at night, he gives me a small kiss on my nose and tells me "I'm the best mama" and that he "loves me more than Mr. Kitty (his stuffed kitty that he carries everywhere)" It makes me so happy to see him smile and he giggles so much about everything. He's so cute. I love my son so much. If anything else happens I'll post another update. Thank you friends. ***Relevant comment:*** "My dad got out with a broken nose and a black eye. That's about it. My son is very happy and I love it." **Update** [Four](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/xulkvc/4th_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: October 3, 2022** I would really like to change the title of these post but I feel like it would be confusing. Anyway, I have been talking to a lawyer for the past week and we are working on the divorce proceedings as well as custody and possible restraining orders. I am also trying to take my house back before my soon to be ex-husband does something to it. For those concerned, we have picked up the cats and all four of them are comfy in my parents house. For those who want an update on my son, he's doing great. His grandma got him some little dinosaur toys yesterday and he has played with them until he physically couldn't anymore. He's also started trying to feed me stuff. Also if I tell him he's my handsome boy, he tells me I'm his pretty momma. I love my son. I'm glad things are going well. Any future updates will be about my son until all court proceedings are finished. Thank you reddit for all your help. **Update** [Five](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/y0yhv5/5th_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: October 10, 2022** Alright, so over the past week I have been talking with a lawyer and compiling evidence. My soon to be ex-husband has still been trying to get me back. At one point he even "agreed to get therapy" I know he won't. And besides, you lose a lot of love and respect for someone after you see them slap your son and punch your dad. But anyway other than legal stuff here is an update on my son. On Thursday last week we went to the doctor and my son does seem to be okay physically. They did find a couple small bruises on his arms and legs but they said it's probably from him running around and falling and toddler stuff. On the other hand, his doctor does believe he has autism. So in a few weeks he will be getting evaluated. My son is very noticeably happy. He loves all the attention he gets from his meemaw and pop pop. He has also commandeered a blanket he found in their house and has decided that it will be his forever. He has also started this habit of snuggling as close to me as physically possible in bed. I don't know if that's okay but I'm going to assume it's fine. He hasn't asked about his dad. He is perfectly content with life. He's happy I'm happy, everything is right in the world so far. Hope it stays that way. **Update** [Six](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/ybqn1o/6th_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: October 23, 2022** Well, I have officially begun the divorcing process. I asked my son if he misses his dad, he said no. That answer solidified this decision for me. My parents and lawyer are both encouraging me to file for full custody of my son. I will be doing this as well as filing for a restraining order since he has not only hit my son, but also my father. My son has been nothing but happy recently. He's been eating good, sleeping good, and playing how toddlers do. Seeing him so happy gives me the motivation I need to keep pushing through this hardship. Since all of this started I haven't been eating or sleeping good and it amazes me how much children pay attention to that. My son will try to feed me and lay down with me for a nap. He's such a sweet and loving boy and I know he will grow up to be a sweet and loving adult especially with his father out of the picture. I cannot fathom how grateful I am for all the love and emotional support I have had over these past weeks from all of you other parents. Thank you so much. I will update more in the future. **Update** [Seven](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/yl8kh6/7th_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: November 3, 2022** Well it's officially been at least a month since I left my husband. Court proceedings are going well. My husband has decided to fight for custody of our son as I suspected he would. But other than that, it's going well. My son is still happy, he is sick right now. The day after Halloween he got pretty sick. His doctor said it's just the Flu. He's vaccinated so he should be fine. Even though he got sick he had a very nice Halloween. He wanted to be a kangaroo. So I dressed him up as a joey and I was a big kangaroo. He loved it. He doesn't care much for chocolate, so my mom bought a bunch of ring pops. So he still gets the sugar high that comes with Halloween. Anyway. Will update more in the future. I do enjoy writing about my son a lot more than his sad excuse for a father. Thank you guys. **Update** [Eight](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/z54zdc/8th_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: November 26, 2022** My ex and I are officially divorced. He is tearing me down every chance he gets. I'm working myself to death while fighting him. I'm losing motivation. I just want the best for my son. I want him to have what his dad didn't. His family is berating me for calling him abusive. They called me a bad mother and sent me death threats. I am a bad mom. I jumped the gun knowing I've never done this alone. My son barely gets to play with me cause I'm so exhausted constantly. I try so hard to do anything and everything I can with him. He sleeps with me every night. He snuggles up so close to me. And every night I look at him and cry because I don't know what I'm doing. I can't handle this. I don't know what to do. My parents are so much help, but they can't make up for when I'm not there. My son is going to grow up thinking "where's my momma" she's at work trying to keep food on the table cause she left your dad instead of working things out. *There are many comments reassuring OOP she is NOT a bad mom, and it's better for her son to be safe.* **Update** [Nine](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/comments/zc2at0/9th_update_am_i_a_bad_mom/)**: December 4, 2022** After a bumpy road, a few breakdowns, and many bad memories. My son and I have finally moved back into our home. My parents blessed us with an early Christmas present, a security system!! Now we can't have any creepy ex husbands lurking around our house. My son is happy, and after re-reading my previous posts I've realized I am too. Everything is going right in my son's world and that's all that matters. My parents have also gifted my son with a German shepherd puppy since he has to leave his best friend Shelby (my parent's chocolate Labrador) behind. He has named her Calypso after the teacher dog in bluey and they are best friends. My son is happy and I couldn't ask for anything more. Thank you all for the love and support. It has been much appreciated. ❤ **Wishing OOP and her son the absolute best.** **Edit: recent comment that I'm adding for more clarity on the speed of the divorce:** "My parents and I paid a LOT for my lawyer. But it helped that my ex tried representing himself."

Woman asks reddit "Am I a bad mom?" Reddit helps her realize she and her son deserve better

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Cheat on me with my best friend? I'll wreck your career and publicly humiliate both of you

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zjtl4l

Originally posted by u/throwaway278632 in r/AmItheAsshole on Nov 15 2022, updated Dec 1st. [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ywegc1/aita_for_not_allowing_my_kids_to_get_baptized/) AITA for not allowing my kids to get baptized? I (33F) have two kids (12M and 10F). I have always had a rough relationship with my in-laws. They are the typical "extreme evangelical pastors" and didn't approve of me since I wasn't Christian. I am and have always been an Atheist. I met my husband in college and while dating found out I got pregnant which caused more issues. They forced my husband to propose to me since they didn't want their grandkid to be born out of marriage. They tried to make us have a religious wedding and tried to make us go to church with them but I always refused. They calmed down a little when our second came and we allow them to have the kids over every now and then but still tried to push their religion into us. We're trying to raise our kids religion-free and let them decide once they are older and can understand better. Now to the issue, as I mentioned our kids go to stay at their home at least one weekend a month but recently we've been dropping them over every weekend because of time constrains my husband and I have been having. Well, last week they came to me and asked me if we could take them on Sunday to church to get baptized. I was dumbfounded, it was clear they had heard about this from my in-laws. I asked them why they wanted that and they explained that they had been going to baptism classes with my in-laws and decided to get baptized. I explained to them that they weren't ready to make that decision and to tell me honestly if their grandma told them to say that. They denied it but I suspected there was more to the story. I later called my MIL and asked her about it, she didn't deny it and said they had been taking our kids to Sunday school and baptism classes since they had to be there as pastors and wouldn't leave them at home by themselves. I asked her why couldn't skip one day for taking care of their grandkids but she said the kids actually enjoyed it and asked to go. I called her out on her lies and to stop trying to brainwash my kids but she said I was holding them away. I got very mad and told her to stay away from my kids and hanged up. I told my husband, he tried to defend his mom but eventually saw my point and agreed with me. I had to explain our kids that they couldn't go but they started begging to let them go. Well, the baptism was supposed to happen this past Sunday and they are mad at me, won't talk to me and have asked my husband to let them go stay at their grandparent's. I've been trying to explain why this is the best for them now and we can revisit the idea when they are older but they refuse to listed and I'm starting to feel guilty. tl;dr, I didn't allow my kids to get baptized since my MIL has always tried to push religion into them and now they are mad at me, AITA? *More info from OP in the comments:* >Why in the name of what you dont believe in would you leave your kids with EVANGELICAL PASTORS on the weekend and not think church/sunday scool would happen? The thing is, I know for a fact that they have people that can replace them at church when they don't go because they have done it before to go out with the kids. I assumed that's what they were doing and I was never told otherwise. The "time-constraints" was work for both of us, we got too busy and had to take extra shifts in our jobs these past few weekends and that's why we had to drop the kids with them. I'll try to reduce my shifts to be able to be with them from now on. To answer your questions, they call themselves Evangelical Pastors. I don't know the name of the church or anything but I know it's not the typical church, imagine more those white people in churches kind of thing where the whole family of the pastor is involved, that's why my MIL is also a Pastor. I wouldn't say I have religion trauma because my only exposure to it is my IL's. But they have never liked me because I'm not religious and have tried to make me since they met me. They have invited me to church, offer marriage counseling through another pastor, force us to pray whenever we have dinner with them, and have asked my husband constantly to let our kids go to church (He still calls himself a Christian but doesn't go to church). So all of those things and more become annoying, and knowing that my kids have been going to church without me knowing pisses me off. My kids say they enjoy going and that they made friends there but I'm afraid that's just opening a door to let them be manipulated. Also, I don't know ANYTHING about any religions and I never saw it necessary to talk to them about it, just let them find out when they are older. I'm afraid that letting them get into a religion in such an impressionable age will open a door for them to be manipulated into other things, I wouldn't have mind it as much if they were 16-17. Also it's the fact that this happened without me knowing. *Judgement: Asshole* [Update 2 weeks later](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z9r1p1/update_aita_for_not_allowing_my_kids_to_get/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) UPDATE: AITA for not allowing my kids to get baptized? Well, my went a little under the radar but I had tons of people give me feedback and asked to update on my decision so I wanted to let the ones interested know the outcome. I took to heart all the advice I got, even the ones not so nice that told me I was indoctrinating my kids into Atheism. I said it on the comments but I explained I don't force my kids to not believe or learn about anything but I agree it was my mistake to not at least introduce them into religion so they weren't so easily manipulated. Now to address something plenty pointed out, why I left them with my IL's when I knew they were pastors: I know I was naive on thinking they would stop their jobs for taking care of them, it's just that I have seem them skip church to be with the kids. But that will stop now, my husband and I talked about it and decided to get a babysitter. And to the update: I had a long conversation with my husband, he apparently knew that the kids were going to Sunday school and baptism classes because my MIL told him when they started but he never told me because "He didn't see harm on it" it made me even more mad but I wanted to keep an opened mind. He said he was actually happy that the kids were interested in religion since he still follows Christianity. I feel betrayed that he hid this from me but we agreed on communicating better. We reached the compromise that we would let our kids do as they please to some extent, they got baptized last Sunday and even though I hated having to go to the church, I enjoyed seeing them happy. We agreed that they will go to church with my husband but not with the IL's alone anymore and that they will not be going every Sunday since we still have the weekend shifts. I did offer them to look into other religions as many of you suggested but they refused, tbh I don't know what to do about that since I don't want to be the bad guy by forcing them to learn about others. Currently, I feel a bit as an outsider in my own home since my husband is crazy excited to teach them stuff and now they have a new "family time" to do religious stuff but I guess I'll have to get used to it. Finally, I have gone LC with my IL's, I still haven't received an apology and kind of resent them because I feel they got away with what they wanted so decided it's best if I just get away from them.

Atheist Mom Refuses To Let Her Kids Go To Church Or Be Baptised (AITA Dec 1, '22)

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Reminder that I am not OOP. OOP is u/throwraweddingal. Trigger Warnings: >!Manipulative family, Bullying!< Mood Warnings: Satisfying, ultimately wholesome [**How to say no to a wedding performance without being the bad guy?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/yyb4e2/how_to_say_no_to_a_wedding_performance_without/) Nov 17 2022 Me (26f) and my husband “jay”(28m) are getting married November 30th. Jay has two sisters, “Mary” (25f) and “regina” (35f). Both sisters have a husband and daughter. Mary approached us 4 months ago and asked if her daughter Katie (5) could perform a song for us. Katie is a very sweet girl and me and jay adore her. Mary said Katie had went to her music teacher and asked to help her sing so she could sing at our wedding but Mary wanted our permission first. Jay and I said yes and are very excited to hear her perform. Apparently, Regina caught wind of this and basically told us that her daughter Emma (10) is also performing….a stand up comedy act. Now, emma is a very nice girl too but can sometimes be a lot. She has no filter and will do whatever she wants. Regina kinda enables this behavior. She was diagnosed with adhd which is okay (I have it too) but her and her mom use it as an excuse to her poor behavior. For example, the other day I had told Emma to stop climbing on the furniture while we were all watching tv. Emma screamed in my face “I have adhd you can’t tell me what to do” I looked at Regina and she just shrugged. Jay and I were very wary when Regina told us this and asked what this “comedy show” entailed. She basically told us that it was a surprise and that we would love it. This was Monday. Last night jay got a text from Mary. She had sent him a video that Regina had sent to her saying “little preview of the act😂” The video was of emma “practicing” her routine saying very inappropriate stuff that shouldn’t be said at a wedding let alone by your ten year old niece. The video ended as she was saying “congrats el and mouse!” Backstory: jay and I have known each other since kindergarten. We had been friends our entire lives before heading off to college. Growing up, I was always on the bigger side. Jay however was a “late bloomer”. Senior year he was only 5’0 and like 100 pounds. I had been 5’5 since 8th grade and a lot more than 100 pounds.When I went with him to his families house as an official couple for dinner, Regina said “wow I can’t believe the elephant and the mouse finally got together” she laughed and explained that jay came home from school one day and told his family that he was going to to marry me one day. She saw me at an event a few days later and thought it was funny that a little mouse like her brother would like an elephant of a girl like me. Her parents along with her siblings told her to knock it off and that was the last time she ever said something like that. Hearing Emma say that in the video made Jay and I freeze. We had a feeling that a lot of the “comedy act” was actually Regina feeding Emma these jokes to pull some thing at our wedding. Jay and I are still really upset and do not know what to do. On one hand, we do not want this comedy act going on at our wedding. On the other hand, we don’t want to be seen as the “bad guys” for not letting a 10-year-old do something while letting our other niece perform. Jay and I ended up texted Regina letting her know we do want Emma to perform her skit. Since last night we have gotten nonstop texts from Regina saying that we’re ruining her daughters life and being mean by letting another child perform but not letting hers. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t want her to stir up drama and make us the bad guys at our own wedding. [**UPDATE for not letting my niece perform at my wedding**](https://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/z6685s/update_for_not_letting_my_niece_perform_at_my/) Nov 27 2022 hello everyone! im not sure if this is allowed but i wanted to just give an update for anyone that was following along with all of this crazy stuff. first and foremost, thank you to everyone who has given me advice and support in your comments and dms. jay and i deeply appreciate it. i was not expecting a lot of people to even read this let alone care enough to respond so thank you all so much. also, i wanted to answer some questions some of you had before i give an update. 1. jay: a lot of people were telling me that this was jays responsibility since its his sister. when this all went down, jay was ready to scorch earth. he was already drafting an email calling his sister out and sending an email to his family telling his family telling them what happened and that she was not going to be invited. i was the one who wanted to wait until we had a plan and eliminate all "what ifs". i think jay was/is a lot more upset than i am, which is a lot. jay agreed with writing this on here to gain a little advice from outside sources. just wanted to clear this up and let everyone know he was just as much involve in this situation 2. mary: someone asked what was marys part in this. did she send the video maliciously? did she instigate this whole situation? the short answer is no. she sent that video to us and called us right after. she has always defended me and shut all of reginas things down right away. she responded to regina saying that whatever game she is trying to play will not work and she will tell everybody all the things regina has pulled if she didnt grow up. we had spoken to mary and she told us it was okay to tell regina that she sent the video to us. 3. a lot of people were saying the obvious, "its your wedding, dont let her perform" which i know! obviously, i decided emma will not be performing. however, i want to eliminate the chance for anything else regina might want to pull. Ive known her long enough to know that she will one way or another do something to knock me down or turn the spotlight on her (which a lot of you pointed out) I also came on her for some help because i dont want to spend my entire wedding looking over my shoulder and always on the defense in case she tied to do something (which a lot of you pointed out was inevitable) so many of you helped me realized that what i was thinking didnt make me the bad guy, its my day! so thank you everyone again. onto the update. two days after i posted, jay and i called regina on his phone, i used my phone (not sure if its illegal) just so we had proof of anything she would say that she could lie about in the future. jay decided to take the lead in case she tried to act like this was all me, he wanted to make sure she knew this was his decision too. the conversation went like this (paraphrasing here, but this is the gist): jay: regina, throwraweddingal and i decided it would not be appropriate for emma to perform at our wedding. regina: no. katies performing so thats not fair. jay: katie is singing a 45 second song that is meaningful to throwraweddingal and me. emma performing a comedy is not appropriate for our wedding. she can perform at family dinner the night before or she can privately perform for just the two of us but we do not want a comedy act at the reception. regina: no. she wants to perform in front of people. if katie is, then emma should too. jay: okay, katie will perform for just the two of us then so its fair. regina: ......well she still wants to perform in front of people. jay: its not her day. you do realize no one performs standup at a wedding right? shes 10, she'll get over it. regine: how dare you! me: regina, you never told us what emma will be saying. you said its a surprise but mary told us what katie will be doing beforehand and thats why we agreed. we have a problem letting emma do this especially since we do not know what she will be doing. (this received a fist bump from jay lol) regina: its a surprise. its funny. its harmless. jay: its our wedding. emma will not be getting a mic for her to spew rude comments towards my wife for you to laugh regina: i have no idea what youre talking about jay: you do know what i am talking about and its childish that youre lying about it. emma is not a vessel for your poor comments. she will not be performing at our wedding. if you try anything, you will be removed from our wedding. regina: you cant do that. shes ten. she has a medical condition. throwraweddingal youre being a bridezilla. jay: i am the one speaking. this is a mutual choice. emma is old enough to know that what she is saying is mean. youre old enough to know that you shouldnt live vicariously through your daughters childish behavior. i need to hear you say that emma is not performing and if something happens you will be removed. regina: .......fine. we decided to end the conversation after we got on tape regina repeating what jay said. we havent spoke to her since. a little while later mary sent a screenshot of regina calling her all sorts of names for "ratting her out" and "ruining her day". she didn't respond but took pictures just in case. we called jays parents and my family to catch them up with whats been going on. jays parents were horrified and said that if regina told any family and they came to them, they would tell them the truth. my family agrees too. i also didnt mention this, but our dj/mc is jays friend from college. jay called dj (yes thats also his name lol) after we spoke to regina and told him the gist and to keep the microphone with him at all times and not let them get a chace of any speeches or anything. dj told us not to worry and that he will keep the attention on us the whole time. so things were pretty smooth since then. last night however, i got a text from emma (she has an ipad that she texts from) and guess what is was? a single elephant emoji. i will admit, i did cry. i honestly felt like this was over and things were fine but this felt like a bucket of water dumped on me. jay texted back to emma, "this is uncle jay. what you are doing is not nice. i think you know that what you are doing is mean to your aunt and we do not like it. we love you emma but we will not let you be mean to us even if it is a joke. and regina, if this is you, stop" we ended spending the night watching movies and just cooling off from all of this. anyways, that was the small update. we get married in 3 days so i will update if anything happens. thanks again for everything! sorry for any typos, im just tired Edit: gosh y’all are so sweet!! Everyone’s support and advice is amazing. I will definitely update after Wednesday either on my profile or if I can update again here I will! [**Final Update: Not letting my niece perform at my wedding**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwraweddingal/comments/zdgwm7/final_update_not_letting_my_niece_perform_at_my/) Dec 05 2022 Hello everyone!! First thank you all of your advice, support, and funny comments during this time! Idk if this is weird, but I feel like all of yall are like my new friend lol! : I AM MARRIED YALL!!! everything was perfect! I am officially "stuck" with my best friend and I couldn't be happier! we decided to change some things from i guess a traditional wedding because we wanted some things to juct be for us. for example, instead of a "first look", we spent the morning getting ready together which was perfect! we also did our vows together by ourselves in a separate area at our venue. I had always wanted a vineyard wedding so to be able to walk the area while reading our vows together was a dream! onto the update (might be pretty long so i'm sorry in advanced) everyones comments gave me and jay the final "push". first we sat down our immediate family and told them regina and emma were not coming. they were upset that regina had to act this way and in a way is "punishing herself" even though she doesnt see it that way. they understood and told us not to worry, they will be "lookout". (kinda funny imagining my 5'2 mom become a tough bouncer but i appreciate it lol) jay and i also took some peoples advice by letting guests/extended family know our decision before regina just in case she went to people, they would already know. We sent an large group email out to our family and guests. I know yall want to know so i copied a pasted the bulk of it. "Hello Friends and Family, We are so excited to be celebrating with you all on our special day! We cannot wait to see you all and have you share this time with us. We have a small announcement that we ask you all to read and respect. Over this past week, we have decided not to invite Jays sister and niece, Regina and Emma. Though this decision will cause some different reactions to many, we have decided to put our day and ourselves as priority. Over the years, Regina has made rude comments towards throwraweddingal that we have normally taken the higher road and brushed off. However, it has come to our attention that both Regina and Emma have tasked themselves with bringing these comments to the wedding in front of everyone. Having everyones attention be taken by bullying on our day is something we will not have. Though some of you may not agree, we ask you all to respect our decision. Both are old enough to know right from wrong, mean from nice. If this is something you do not agree with, thats fine. It is our day, we will not be changing our minds. We cannot wait to see you all so very soon!" Surprisingly, we were met with pretty positive reactions. I’d say maybe 95% of our guests were on board with the email. Many of jays family sent me private texts apologizing on her behalf and letting me know that they would be there. The other 5% reached out to jay and I disagreeing with our choice. I think Regina had told these people “made up things” about emma/her adhd, regina in general. They were saying we were just as bad as them for doing this to a ten year old girl who’s been bullied and a mother who’s husband doesn’t care about them and all of that. We just responded saying everyone is entitled to their opinion but it will not change our decision and if they didn’t agree, they are not being forced to come. Jay had actually sent the email and those guests responses to Reginas husband too. He was actually very upset for us. he was upset that Regina was saying stuff about Emma that wasnt true and acting as if he didnt care for his family. I mentioned in a comment that he originally wasnt going as he had work but told us his trip is 10 minutes away from the venue and if anything happened, he will handle them. Then, we moved on to telling Regina. We sent her the following text. “Regarding our phone call and yours and your daughters blatant disregard for our feelings, you and Emma will not be coming to our wedding. This decision was made because of your rude comment and you pushing this bullying on your daughter, we will not have you both ruining our day. This is not up for discussion nor compromise” She read it but did not respond for for extra measures we sent the same text to emma but different vocab for a ten year old. Same with her. The night before the wedding, me, jay, his parents and siblings, and my mom and siblings had a small dinner at the venue (this is where we offered emma to do her act) Regina and her clan did not show up but that was probably for the good. Having everyone on board with the wedding and reassuring nothing was going to happen made everything so much better and stress free. Finally, our wedding day arrived!! It was amazing. Having all of our friends and family there was a dream! I even danced! ( i am not a dancer but thought what the hell and it was so fun!) Katie was able to sing in front of everyone and it was amazing me and jay both cried. No one spoke about Regina for most of the night aside from a few people pulling me aside and apologizing for her/asking if i was okay. Around the time after dinner and before dessert, you'll never guessed who showed up?! We had known before we physically saw her as our videographer told us as soon as she saw them walking up to the dinner area so at least i had a little time to prepare. I started to feel sick and felt like the day was ruined but then realized that this was my day. I felt secure enough to know that our friends, family, dj, venue staff all had our backs and if there was a scene, the only person Regina would embarrass is herself. I finally realized that i was stressing so much leading up to the wedding but at that moment, i realized i couldnt care less of what was going on. No one was going to ruin our day, and i admit that made me feel bad ass! We had enlisted help from a "bouncer" aka a family friend of mine who is around 6'5 and over 300 pounds. He is a total teddy bear but obviously can look like he could kill you. he walked up to them and told them to leave. this was met with her raising her voice and saying things like "no, i was invited. my daughter is performing, we scheduled a performance" obviously, non of that is true and my friend wouldnt budge. She and emma started "trying" to make a scene. there was shouting, trying to grab decorations, stomping, all of that. i mean "trying" because NO ONE who was there paid them any attention. like no one even looked at them. (thanks to everyone who recomended sending a mass email out to everyone beforehand) they even started singing along to the djs songs like really loudly like they were at a concert. thankfully, everytime they started singing along, our dj would very smoothly change it to a different song and eventualy, regina and emma could keep up with it. then they started shouting things like "happy wedding day!" "i have a speech" "We have an announcement". NOTE\* our venue was outdoors so even though they weren't inside the gated venue, they were still in earshot. But still, no one paid any attention to them and everyone acted like they just didnt exist which i could tell was getting to them. I dint find out until after the fact but while this was going on, Mary called Reginas husband and told him what was happening. He showed and up was not the happiest. I have never seen this side of him but he was like a man that reached his limit. I didnt see it but he apparently walked up to Regina and said, "were leaving. now" handed mary a card from him and very directly forced them to his car. At this point, I think regina realized that the attention she wanted wasnt coming so she left with a huff. So thats it. Im sorry if people were looking for a big, dramatic thing. I think evenrything worked itself out. She essentially dug her own grave. I am so thankful how amazing our family and friends were. Even after she left, no one brought it up. The night ended so beautifully and i could not imagine anything better. Were are on our honeymoon in GREECE RIGHT NOW!!! Jays mom called us yesterday to check in and said that all of the extending family and friends have almost “blocked" regina out of their lives and no one has really heard from her since. His mom thinks she is radio silent so she can lick her wounds in private but if something happens she is not going to tell us until were home so we can enjoy the rest of our trip. So this sould be the last update for now! Thank you everyone for all of your help, advice, stories, and funny jokes! Thank you for becoming my friends for a day and helping me with one of the best times of my life!! \*\* ADDED NOTE\*\* Hello. This is "Jay" aka, the husband of my lovely girl. I had a little bit of FOMO from all of this discussion and seeing my wife smile and laugh at all of your comments made me want to hop on here. Thank you to everyone who gave my WIFE (feels weird saying that but so right at the same time) advice and pick me ups. She is always the advice giver and the person people go to with their problems so seeing her being able to be on the receiving end with random people to took time out of their day to help her is really appreciated. I have been planning our wedding since 8th grade and I could not be happier with how it turned out, even if we had some drama along the way. We are on our honeymoon but she wanted to update everyone who joined along the way. So thank you internet people for putting a smile of my wifes face, I got it from here :)

How to say no to a wedding performance without being the bad guy?

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**I am not the OP. That is u/folle4935. Originally posted in r/relationship_advice.** Trigger warning: >!verbal abuse!< Mood spoiler: >!positive!< [Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/yzmto5/my_boyfriend_is_freaking_out_about_the_baby_in/) *posted on November 19, 2022* **My boyfriend is freaking out about the baby in the appartement below mine** Throwaway because BF knows my real account. I (23F) live in an appartement building on the middle floor, so there's someone under and above me. I don't really mind the noise, I just tune it out, but about maybe a year ago , the couple living below me had a baby. Now, I think it's common knowledge that babies are loud: they cry, they scream and the parents can't do much about it. I just kinda deal with it. However, my boyfriend (24M) isn't quite as accepting. We've been together for about 10 months and he comes over to my place most nights (even though he has an appartement on his own and I have two roommates). I can only assume that the baby's room is under mine because we can hear him (her? Idk) cry very clearly and we hear his parents talk and sing lullabies to calm him down. It's annoying but it is what it is. For some reason, my BF goes COMPLETELY nuts about it. Every day, he goes on about how he hopes the baby will FINALLY shut up, and how rude it is that the baby cries, and how he can't believe that the parents allow him to make noise like that... He ignores me when I try to tell him that it's just a baby and that the parents are doing what they can. I mean, I'm sure they're a lot more annoyed than we are! Then, at night, if he's woken up by the baby crying (which happens almost every night), he'll wake ME up and start complaning about it. I've also told him many times to get earplugs or, if it annoys him so much, we can stay at his appartement sometimes, but he always says that he "doesn't want to give in", whatever that means. Things kind of exploded last night when he, once again, woke me up in the middle of the night and shouted that he couldn't stand this anymore. He was REALLY angry, I've honestly never seen him like this, he kept saying that I had to deal with this and that he couldn't live like this. I told him to please calm down, and he screamed that I had to go shut up the baby. I said that I didn't know what to do, it wouldn't change anything to bother the parents, and he stopped pacing, looked at me and just said that I obviously cared more about a random child than I did about him. I tried to tell him that no, I love him and want him to be happy, but he just grabbed his clothes and left, banging every door on his way out. I tried texting and calling him, but he doesn't answer me. I just don't know what to do. I love him so much, but I feel like he's going overboard, it's a baby! Should I go talk to the parents? I feel like that wouldn't help, but maybe it would calm him down? How do I talk to him about it? I just really need advice on how to deal with all of this, please help me. TLDR: My BF is reacting very strongly to the baby living in the appartement below mine and stormed out after waking me up at night, saying I don't care about him if I refuse to fix the situation. I don't know how to deal with this.   [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zcprf4/update_my_boyfriend_is_freaking_out_about_the/) *posted on December 4, 2022* **UPDATE: My boyfriend is freaking out about the baby in the appartement below mine** Hi everyone! It's been two weeks since my post and I definitely wasn't expecting the kind of engagement I got. I thought you all deserved the end of the story, even though no one asked for it. If you want to remember what this is all about, read my old post (it was removed but I think you can still read it) Basically, the day after I posted, my BF texted me to say that he was expecting an apology for me. I thought about what you all said about not letting him in my place again and about how I should be careful and told him that I wanted to meet him in a coffee shop away from my appartement. He tried telling me that he would just come by my house, but I stood my ground and said no, I was going to meet him there. When we met, I started by listening to some advice I got. I asked him about why the crying baby was bothering him so much, as well as telling him about misophonia, ASD, OCD and all the stuff I was told he might have. I could see that he was getting annoyed by my questions, so I was trying to be quick, but he was rolling his eyes and tapping his fingers. Once I was done, he just kinda went "That's it? That's all you want to say?" I told him that I was just trying to understand, because his behavior about the baby wasn't coherent with who I tought he was, and he, very rudely, said that we had a bigger problem than a baby if I actually thought he was crazy like that. I said that I didn't think he was crazy, just that we have to figure out WHY he's reacting so intensely to a crying child, because if there's no logical reason, it just means that he's incapable of handling himself like a grown-up. I told him that I didn't want that in my life, that I can't have a future with someone who refuses to deal with his issues and that I was not there for him to treat me like crap! I was ranting and speaking really loudly and he was just sitting there, staring at me with his mouth open like a fish. I've NEVER spoken to anyone like that in my life, I think I just read so many comments telling me to grow a spine that I must have started to believe it myself! I felt really really proud, I'm usually so bad when it comes to saying what I actually think, and this time I did it! I waited for his response for a couple of seconds before asking him what he was thinking. He was breathing really deeply and was bright red, and he said,really angrily, that I wasn't who he thought I was if I could speak to him that way. He said that I was meant to love him for who he was and want him without trying to change him, and a bunch of other crap about how wrong it was for me to say things like that to him. At this point, I was DONE. I was already almost crying because that whole conversation was SO hard for me, and his reaction just showed me that he didn't care about me or what I was telling him. I got up and told him that we were done, that I didn't want to speak or see him anymore. I think I also said that I deserved better. I left before he could react, which was very dramatic, but I just didn't want to hear him anymore. Since then, I know that he tried to call me, text me, and come by my place, but I told my roommates that I didn't want to see him and they've been helpful. He came by two days ago again, and banged on the door until my roommate's partner told him that we were going to call the police. That seemed to "shut him up", to use his own words. It's been really hard. I know I should probably be dancing and thanking every available God that I got out of that relationship, but still, it was almost 10 months of my life with someone I thought loved me. I'll be fine, but it's still hard to suddenly be alone. In other news, I finally met the baby from the appartement below mine! He has really big, gorgeous brown eyes and he smiled at me. His parents are nice, they let me high five him and I swear I almost cried. I'm glad I didn't bother them, they seem like a happy family and I'm sure they're doing their best. The baby was really cute, too. I want to thank everyone who commented or messaged me, even the ones who were rough. I had all of your voices in my mind when I met with my now ex, and I don't think I could have spoken to him if you hadn't told me that I deserved more. Thank you all. TLDR: I tried to talk to my BF and ended up leaving him. He has issues and I can't fix him. I'll be fine.   **Reminder - I am not the OP**

OOP - My boyfriend is freaking out about the baby in the appartement below mine

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Wedding drama: How to say no to a wedding performance without being the bad guy?

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OOP - I [18F] found out recently after my boyfriend [21M] accused me of cheating, he has been cheating on me.

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Rolls Royce is Airdropping 1000 𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲 NFTs for first 1000 People To Claim It.

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**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/kaele_dvaughn in r/advice** trigger warning: >!death!< ---   [**My brother, who *hated* religion, died Saturday. I just found out our recently ultra-religious mother plans to have his funeral in her Roman Catholic faith... and I "cannot" be a pallbearer unless I carry his body to and from the altar.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/9z2jff/my_brother_who_hated_religion_died_saturday_i/) - 21 November 2018 I need some advice.  I am so outraged, so livid, that I actually have been spluttering when trying to talk about it. My little brother died Saturday after a 3 year battle with cancer. Atheists, do *not* downvote those whom are religious.  Religious types, return the favor please, and do not downvote those opinions you disagree with.  Be civil. Details: He was exceedingly anti-religious throughout his life.  Not militantly atheist, where he wanted to tear down all religions and etc, but actively detested religion broadly because of the thought control and hypocrisy of it. He hated how religion preached peace... *except kill all who do not believe the correct way.*  He hated how religion preached understanding...  *unless someone thought differently* He hated how religion preached love... *unless you didn't bow down, and then eternal torment*. He hated how religion always seemed to act exactly like the leaders of North Korea... act like you love me, do what I say, or forever be imprisoned and tortured. He hated how religion said one could rape, murder, destroy lives... *but as long as you said sorry at some point it was all good*. He hated how religious "leaders" could molest children, but it was all good because they spoke for the "invisible sky wizard". And yet if you lived your life being the most generous, loving, giving person to the point of sacrificing yourself for the betterment of others... you were still allegedly going to be tortured for eternity simply because you did such things because they are the way any of us should be, instead of because Bugs Bunny said we should, and needs must worship Daffy Duck. My little brother, my best friend throughout my life, the person I have fought beside against the world of both far-right and far-left racism, idiocy, hypocrisy, and hate... ...is to be buried in a Roman Catholic Mass/ceremony, because our mother.  A mother that until 5 years or so was non-religious (not anti, like Brother and I, but scoffed at it) until she moved to Oregon where her sister lives (and whose son is a Roman Catholic Father/priest). So, the advice I need: As mentioned... I am outraged and very, very, very, *very*, *VERY* appalled and angry.  I feel that this is an extreme insult to my brother's memory. I will conduct myself with utmost propriety, despite my inclinations to shout out how much my brother would hate what is going on "in his honor".  Heck, if there is ever to be a zombie uprising, this would set it off... as Brother would burst out if his casket if he could. I will be approached by my mother and asked if I have "calmed down"/accepted Jesus Christ since being notified that Brother will be laid to rest with full Roman Catholic ceremony. I plan on asking her if *she* would have "calmed down" and accepted Muhammed if Aunt Gail (my aunt, her sister) was buried in the Muslim faith. I don't want this to be a shitshow.  The only person I have ever unconditionally loved -and who unconditionally loved me back- is dead. I do not want to profane his memory... and yet, the very "ceremony" for his funeral is exactly that. I think I will just *seethe*, and go along with it.  Any sort of confrontation would be worse. But Reddit, as weird as it may be to ask complete strangers... What are your thoughts?   [**Update: Brother passed away Saturday, and Mother insisted on a Roman Catholic funeral despite his hatred of religion. Should I have posted this update elsewhere?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/9znxcl/update_brother_passed_away_saturday_and_mother/) - 23 November 2018 I am only posting here, because the original post was here. So many, many people responded; I wanted to reach the same audience and let everyone know what their advice did, and the results. Some background: In his last week of life, Brother was moved to our sister's house (who is an active nurse). She selflessly accepted him in (despite two children and a work schedule that ICU/ER nurses have), and kept a "baby monitor" in the room; she was always available, cleaned him, turned him, etc... all of the needs that a dying person has, that only others whose family members are on the verge of dying can understand. I followed the more or less general consensus, and was preparing to create a coalition to protest a funeral so very much against who my brother was in life. And in my outrage... *I* somehow forgot who my brother was in life. I got a call from our Sis. She wanted to check up on me, knowing how devastated I was by Brother's death. In all of my anger, in all of my outrage... I never called the one person who had been caring for him. Brother foresaw our mother's pain, and agreed to a Roman Catholic burial. He did not convert as I thought I was being told, or whatever the case may have been. Sis did not believe it either, but assured me that she made sure they were alone, and spoke to him during a lucid period to verify that he actually agreed to it. That was the kind of man my brother was. In his very last days, as he lay dying, he cared more about how the pain and loss after he was gone would affect others, rather than about himself. I actually *was* the asshole, for only dwelling in my own pain and not realizing that this is exactly something Brother would do: "sacrifice" himself for the good of others. Sacrifice is too strong a word, but you know what I mean. So: I officially thank the hundreds upon hundreds who took the time to comment, and the dozens who PM'd/DM'd me. All of you, in all of your thoughts and beliefs on every side... again, thank you. Brother and I always believed in hearing all sides without reservation. You have -beyond doubt- shown that that caring towards others still holds true despite all of the hate and fingerpointing that currently seems so prevalent. A forum of complete strangers came together. I love you all... and thank you so very, very much. I have on last thing to ask of you: Do a random act of kindness for a complete stranger, just once. I don't mean some faceless donation to charity or whatever, to some random whatever. Instead, make a difference, if even for a moment, to some other person around you. For no reason other than to brighten someone's day. Give a bag to someone who is short one at a checkout stand at your local grocery. Offer to buy someone's coffee in line behind you. Help someone to cross a street, or offer to lead someone lost somewhere in a hospital. *Something* Because these are the kind of things my brother did every day. And if you happened to say -or even just think to yourself- "Because Jeremy OB Wright no longer can, let me help you"... then there could never be any better memorial for him than that.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My brother, who *hated* religion, died Saturday. I just found out our recently ultra-religious mother plans to have his funeral in her Roman Catholic faith... and I "cannot" be a pallbearer unless I carry his body to and from the altar.

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**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/imaginary-chemical-8 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for getting mad about my boyfriends “Guy nights”?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k4ifvx/aita_for_getting_mad_about_my_boyfriends_guy/) - 1 December 2020 Obligatory on mobile. So me and my boyfriend, C, have the same friend group. There’s 5 guys and 3 girls including myself who are all dating guys in this group. For context I was introduced to the group 4 years ago and I started dating C over a year ago. He joined a year before we dated. Anyway onto the story. So the boys in my friend group have started a thing called “guys night” where they go out and do everything we all do together but without us girls. Here’s the thing- ALL of my friends are the boys. I don’t know the girls in the group too well and while I have friends outside the group I’m no where near as close with them as I am this group. They say they need to “spend some quality time with their friends” and that if I went they’d have to invite their girlfriends. And it’s not every so often, it’s every 2 weeks on a Saturday, which is the one day I can go out. So basically while my boyfriend goes out with all my friends I have to be stuck at home by myself. And what’s worse is when we all do hang out they constantly bring up stuff that happened on guys night saying “you had to be there”. This had been going on months. Last night my boyfriend came over to mine from guys night really happy and was texting his friends when I asked him why I couldn’t go. He made a vague gesture at my chest and crotch saying I wasn’t a guy. I then asked him why he couldn’t skip it to spend the night with me and he rolled his eyes. I lost it. I started crying and screaming at him calling him an asshole for allowing me to be completely isolated when I’ve told him how shitty it is. He ended up leaving and called me a bitch. He’s staying with one of our friends who’s saying I was being the AH for yelling at him that way. The girls all agree with me though and I don’t know if I should apologise. **EDIT:** I feel like everyone is confusing what I’m saying. I’m not mad he has his own hobbies- that’s amazing!! I’m just upset that I’m being excluded because of my gender from my friends who I introduced him to. I’ve been told explicitly this by him and his friends. Also we don’t live together and I only see him a few times a week. **EDIT 2:** I should also add my boyfriend sees all his friends during the week but they schedule guys night on the one night I can go out. As I said in a comment I see him 2-3 times a week and he sees them at least 4 times, 5 on guys night. I see my friends once a fortnight. TLDR: boyfriend goes out with my friend group while excluding me completely. I lost it at him and now I’m being called an AH Verdict: NTA   [**UPDATE: AITA for getting upset about my boyfriends “guys nights”?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kciiif/update_aita_for_getting_upset_about_my_boyfriends/) - 13 December 2020 So about 2 weeks ago I posted here asking if I was the asshole for getting mad at my boyfriend for his guy nights. The post didn’t get a lot of attention but the attention it did get was controversial and there was a lot of differing opinions so I figured I’d do an update as a lot has happened. So after I posted I ended up contacting the girlfriends in the group to see what was up and we started noticing some fishy stuff. Their boyfriends and the guys in the group would say the exact same things to them as they did to me. Stuff like we’d invite you but then the other girls will want to come. We also figured out that there were other nights that all the guys were free but that wanted to do Saturday’s for some reason. One of the girls, H, was suspicious for this any many other reasons so she checked her boyfriends phone (I don’t condone what she did at all btw, but in this circumstance I excuse it). While looking she found a group chat called “boys night” which she had never heard of. She was super suspicious at this point and clicked it to be greeted by a bunch of very interesting messages from the boys in our group. Well guess what? Turns out “guys night” was really “go to a pub and cheat on your girlfriend night”. The message was in reference to one of the girls my boyfriend was sleeping with last week. In fact, all the other guys except one were cheating, while the other knew but kept quiet. Another lovely discovery from the chat was that he hasn’t been using protection with the other women or with me (birth control), meaning not only has he been cheating he has also been putting me a high risk of an STD, while also risking mine and my elderly grandfathers life because of COVID. Needless to say we’ve broken up and I feel better for it, but right now I’m friendless, single and waiting on STD results which doesn’t feel fantastic. So yep. Definitely not the update I was hoping to do but life clearly doesn’t turn out the way you plan. **Edit:** wow I really was not expecting this response. Thankyou for all the kind words. I’m at work at the moment and will try to respond as much as possible but from the bottom of my heart Thankyou all. And also Thankyou for the award I’m very overwhelmed by all the kindness **Edit 2:** Thankyou again for all the kindness- I just thought I’d add a few things. 1. Covid isn’t bad where I am (Aus) but when we hang out we social distance with masks- you can’t social distance during sex which is where my fear of covid comes from 2. One of the girls dumped her boyfriend (who wasn’t cheating but knew) and the other took him back (he was cheating) and finally 3. I’m STD free!!! I got a call an hour ago and am so completely relieved- now I can start to move on.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for getting mad about my boyfriends “Guy nights”?

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**I am not the OP.** The story was originally posted by *MehWhatever12* in [r/TrueOffMyChest](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/). Marked as "ongoing", since OOP is still active on this profile and may post another update. **And remember, NO BRIGADING!** *Interesting historical fact for those who don't want to see the TW: Napoleon wasn't actually short - the myth is believed to have started because his tailor noted down his height in French foot, which equaled 33 cm at the time, while the English foot measured 30.45 cm. This would make Boney 1.57 m, which, back then, was an average height for a French male not born into the aristocracy (I assume they achieved greater height due to better nutrition).* Trigger word: >!PPD for everyone and post partum abuse!< # [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yhmjdk/i_want_something_horrible_to_happen_to_my_husband/) (30.10.2022) My husband was horrible and downright abusive to me when i gave birth. It started right when I was in the hospital. He did horrible things to me like kicking me out of the room when I was crying because of the hormones and the pain of giving birth. He said my crying was disturbing the baby. He did many such things for the first month of my son's life. And my health got worse, there were complications, I needed more surgeries. It was a horrible period. Before this, My husband was never a person to even raise his voice. He was never this way but something flipped the moment he saw his son. This behavior lasted a month and it was like a switch flipped again and he was back to being the husband I've always had. Since then he's been trying so hard to make up for his behavior. It's been 17 months since my son was born and he does so much to make up for the way he behaved. He does so much for me and the baby. He barely even sleeps. He treats me like a queen. But I can't forget. I have this rage inside me I've never felt in my life. I have severe mental health issues. Postpartum depression, psychosis you name it. I'm able to live day to day playing house. I truly appreciate all that he does for this family but I'm so angry. So much anger. Everyday I daydream about something horrible happening to him and when he looks to me for support I will unleash hell on earth. I want him to suffer. I want him to know exactly what he put me through. I feel guilty because in the 7 years we had together he had a temporary lapse in sanity for a month. He must have been overwhelmed with everything. He works so hard everyday for us. I'm blessed to have him. But this burning rage inside me is tearing me apart. Edit : I've been asked to add this comment into the post itself I have communicated to my husband that I'm very resentful of the way he treated me and it's eating me up. He just hangs his head in shame and says nothing Certain things he did just fundamentally broke me. He got in my face and screamed at me because the baby had jaundice. He said it was my fault. He wanted to start formula. I was making a lot of milk. With the bleeding and cracked nipples and I was feeding him as much as I could. I pumped and checked and I was making A LOT. But he got angry and physically shoved me when i was maybe 2 days postpartum after a c-section. He told me he would never trust me as a mother and grabbed the baby from me. I was crying so much the nurses in the hospital had to interfere. When the baby was 2 weeks old I found him on reddit trying to get nudes from someone. I was shattered. He immediately started apologising. He tried so hard to hide it. I immediately told his parents and they begged me not to get a divorce and wait till I was well enough to make decisions. He was so ashamed of his behavior after that and he's been trying so hard. After that incident I got a bunch of complications from birth and things snowballed from there and I did not have the time to process any of it. 7 years we were happy. That's why I'm confused. He would do anything for me. I don't know what happened for him to treat me that way. # From the Comments: >*Redditor:* Please get counselling immediately, and checked out for depression and anxiety. Just remember that abusive asshole is lurking inside your husband, just itching to get out again. There is no excuse for his behaviour. > >*OOP:* Thank you. I'm going to therapy for postpartum depression and ptsd from the whole thing. I'm scared to start medication so working with a therapist first. > >I wish I knew what to think. He's been nothing but wonderful before and after those few weeks. It's just so confusing. He works so hard to make up for it ​ >*Redditor:* PPD and PPP can actually happen to fathers, too - maybe that was happening to him during that month, if his behavior really was completely out of character. > >And if you're not still nursing, and your therapist recommends it, I would really try the medication, OP - they can be life savers if your brain chemistry is still out of whack. > >What does your therapist say about your resentment towards your husband? > >*OOP:* Yes that's what I was thinking as well. I'm trying to look past it but he took my baby from me. He shoved me after a major surgery. I can't even start to describe the pain. He called me names and screamed at me. I accidentally fell asleep from exhaustion once and he poked me very hard on my chest to wake me up and I started crying because my breasts were already sore and my nipples were bleeding and he rolled his eyes and ignored me and left the room. This was in the hospital . My head is reeling when I think about how I even survived all that. > >I haven't told my therapist any of this. I just told her he treated my horribly and that I can't really talk about it with her without crying. She did not push and said I was the one who gave birth went thru all that and postpartum nothing is more important than a healthy mother and a healthy baby and that I shouldn't be trying to rationalize it when I'm so overwhelmed. > >*Redditor:* I can't even imagine how horrible that was! But maybe it would help you to unpack all that for your therapist. Getting it all out can actually have a cleansing and relieving effect. Or if you feel that you can't talk about it without breaking down, maybe write it out and give it to her to read. And include how it made you feel. She may recommend to give it to your husband to read, as well, just so he fully realizes what he did to you. > >From what you've been writing, it sounds like things are broken beyond repair. He destroyed your trust in him completely, and any residual feelings you had for him have been eroding, as well. He turned what should have been a magical time of bonding into a nightmare. And he seriously hasn't given you any explanation about what started his behavior, and what made it suddenly stop? Maybe his mother staged an intervention to set him to rights. > >*OOP:* That sounds like a very good idea. I'll be sure to bring it up my next session. > >And no he hasn't given me an explanation. He says temporary insanity, maybe ppa for him he says he doesn't have an excuse and he doesn't know why. I have made my feelings very clear with him but he doesn't react. Just stares at his shoes and says that he's ashamed. # [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z73ojh/update_i_want_something_horrible_to_happen_to_my/) (28.11.2022) The day after I made my first post I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and through some cosmic interference I could get a slot on the very same day. Reading your comments really made me realise that I truly needed help. I met the doctor and she prescribed some pills for severe ppd and told me it might take a few weeks to kick in but for me the effects were almost instantaneous. Overnight I stopped sobbing into my pillow. I wasn't contemplating offing myself. My pulse rate went down. And the biggest thing was I felt like I could finally look at my husband without feeling threatened. The noise in my head got duller. I could have a conversation with him without breaking down. I've been taking those pills for almost a month now. I don't feel like I want horrible things to happen to him anymore. I realized my brain was trying to show him what he put me through so that he would realize how much pain I was in. But thankfully those feelings are fading. I'm able to appreciate what he does for me without a knot in my stomach. He's done so much for me and my family in the last 17 months. He's woken up with me every single night. He's pressed my feet through every night feed. He's bought me whatever I asked for. He will take me out if I want to even if he's had a shitty day. He moved in with my parents because I wanted to even though he can't stand my dad. Slowly the horrible things he did are being replaced with the good things he does. I told him I'm willing to put a pin in dealing with our relationship for now because I want to concentrate on my health before making any big decisions. He said he understood and he has also started seeing a doctor to get to the bottom of his outburst. Hopefully we both get to a place where we can move forward. I don't know whats going to happen next. But I'm so glad I took all of your advice and finally got help I needed. Post partum depression is really no joke. # From the Comments: >*Redditor1:* Congratulations on the medication helping you feel better. However, absolutely do not let the good things he’s doing replace the fact that he upright abused you. Yes, focus on your health right now, but do not forget what he did. It could very well happen again, hell it may even happen to your kids. He physically and verbally abused you, and I hope that when you’re in the right place you’ll separate from him. > >*Redditor2:* While it was abusive he is also seeking help. The fact that it seems like an outlier in behaviour makes it look like something else is going on. I hope it was an aberration and they find the root of his actions. If it is a change and he's becoming abusive then yes leave because no one should tolerate abuse. > >*Redditor3:* Honestly it doesn’t matter why he did it. The fact is he did it. Whatever “caused” him to become an abusive prick is obviously still in him, and the fact that he didn’t love her enough to not disrespect and hurt her will never just disappear because she is taking medication > >*Redditor2:* So I wanted to think about what you said before replying. Essentially that's saying no one can change. He has recognised his fault and is working to fix it. He's working to make amends with her. > >We are getting a snapshot here and from what she indicated this wasn't normal behaviour. People can do stupid things , not saying it justifies the behaviour but she thinks he's a good man. I hope it was a one-time thing and it is on op to look at the relationship and judge whether this is a pattern and if she should walk away. > >She clearly is also working on her mental health as well so the situation just sounds like it has been bad all round. I'm just not someone who jumps on the dump him immediately bandwagon because it isn't always the answer. After the first post I did think she should leave him but this post makes me think wait and see what comes out of his counselling to see whether it is salvageable if that's what she wants. Drugs aren't the answer long term but I know PPD can seriously affect people's judgement and she should make choices clear-headed. > >*OOP:* Thank you. That is what I'm trying to do. I want to work with professionals to get a clear idea about why that happened. But not right now. I'm just so tired. I don't have the strength to deal with another huge life decision. And it doesn't feel like an emergency for me. I'm currently living my parents so I'm not alone with him. He's never been a violent man. He's never so much raised his voice at me or anyone for that matter. My parents absolutely adore him. I have guard up and I'm treading carefully. I have had multiple surgeries and childbirth has wrecked me. I need to work on myself first before making any big decisions. > >*Redditor2:* You're being realistic which is the best thing. You're not excusing the behaviour, you're safe and recognising what you need. Do what is best for you and bub right now, then work out where you stand. Glad you are with your parents which is another safeguard for all your safety and health. > >I'm so glad after reading the first post that you are on a positive trajectory. ​ >*OOP:* I'm trying to not to make any big decisions right now. His parents are also aware of what happened and they are not happy. I am supported from all sides whatever decision I take. He has started therapy as well. The doctor thinks he might have had postpartum depression as well and it just faded within a month. I'm in no form taking this lightly. I haven't forgotten. It still hurts and I'm still heartbroken. But these meds are giving me some breathing space. I'm just really tired. All I'm doing is pressing pause to concentrate on myself a bit. I know it's a long journey ahead of me ​ >*Redditor:* I'm so glad you are better, and that the medication is helping you! Is your husband in therapy, too? Because it would be really interesting to find out what the hell was going on with him during the time he had his mental breakdown and mistreated you. And I'm not sure you'll be able to repair things, unless you know exactly what was going on - or you will always be afraid that it will happen again. > >*OOP:* Thank you. You are right, I am on guard and constantly on defense. And Yes he just started therapy. I think seeing me improve gave him the push needed to start going. The doctors think he might have had ppd as well but they aren't sure. ​ >*Redditor:* 10-16% of fathers experience post-partum depression or anxiety. \[...\] Search the following for more info: *Postpartum Depression in Men* by JONATHAN R. SCARFF, MD and *Prenatal and Postpartum Depression in Fathers and Its Association With Maternal Depression* A Meta-analysis ​ *So, soon-to-be mothers and fathers, or friends and relations thereof, let this be a dire warning to watch out for signs of PPD or PPP in* either *parent! Be ready to step in and step up to help!* *To add to the statistics about male PPD quoted above: According to* [postpartumdepression.org](https://www.postpartumdepression.org/)*, 10-14% of women experience PPD (though the suspected unreported cases are double that), it lasts 3-6 months on average, and about 80% of women achieve full recovery. These statistics include only the live births, but PPD can also (or especially) hit women who lose their child, so please look after your friends and family in those cases!* *And I'm keeping my fingers crossed for OOP - may she achieve a full and speedy recovery, mentally and physically, and sort out her life and her relationship to achieve optimal happiness!*

I want something horrible to happen to my husband

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**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/youngdad_sucks in r/parenting** trigger warning: >!forced marriage!< ---   [**I 16(M) have a 4month old daughter - ex gf wants to go to College and I am worried**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/q18swu/i_16m_have_a_4month_old_daughter_ex_gf_wants_to/) - 4 October 2021 Before anyone says anything - yes I knew about condoms. I was just dumb. Story time. My parents divorced when I was 10 but lived primarily with my mom. Tiffany's (16) parents are together. When our parents found out she was pregnant her parents kicked her out and my mom kicked me out. So now we live with my Dad. During the pregnancy my Dad took my mom to court and got primary sole custody - I know what this means because I had to go to court for my daughter. He sued Tiffany's parents for legal guardianship and they now pay child support for her and they are pissed and refuse to talk to us. I am in my bedroom and my daughter is in her bedroom and my ex is in the "guest room" that is now hers. My dad made a deal with us. We live with him until 18 with no rent payment at 18 we need to decide what it is we do. I wasnt really that good in school and Tiffany is an A student. So I took my GED and my dad got me into Welding school. I finish in 2 months. I also work full time so I do welding school at night. Tiffany goes to school and works on the weekends at Wendy's. This whole thing is a huge ordeal. We literally have no life. My dad helps but not that much because he feels its our responsibility which I agree but still sucks. I work 6 am - 3 pm at a warehouse and go to school from 6 pm to 10 pm. Tiffany is home by 230 and picks up our daughter from daycare. WE help each other a lot and then I head off to school and she stays with her at home until I get home and do it all over again day after day. When our daughter was born my dad made us go to court, we have 50/50 and I dont pay child support because she lives with us. Because I work full time I can get healthcare for my daughter and myself and that sucks it costs me 300 dollars a month and daycare is 400 a week. Literally Tiffany works just so we can pay for daycare and I pay for everything else. When we are short for cash my dad will help because he sees we are trying. My dad has been our rock. When we are tired and exhausted he will step in and give us a break here and there, but he makes sure we have everything we need and keeps us motivated. Tiffany wants to apply to college soon and I am worried because I dont want to keep living with her and I dont think I can keep our daughter full time as a welder working 12 hour shifts. But she says she will start at community college and work but wants to stay with us living together since its easier. Since I will be working and it will be best for us to stay with my dad. But my dad said at 18 we have to pay rent. She doesnt mind but I dont want to keep living with her because we arent together. I am unsure how to tell her this. My dad thinks she should stay with us as long as she is a full time student to finish her degree because i am already getting my career. I just feel that all this is unfair because the burden is on me. I guess I am ranting because I am scared and unsure of what all this means. **Edit:** I guess my thing about her living with us is that we are more like siblings now. We get along and joke and stuff but since she is my ex I feel weirded out by it. Maybe I need to take a breather since everyone is saying its a good thing. Also I needed to hear it from other people and not just my dad and he is pretty solid and i should thank him maybe take him for dinner or something. **2nd Edit:** My dad isnt kicking us out at 18, but he wants us to be realistic to the world and pay bills. The money he gets from Tiffany's parents he just gives it to her, she is saving up money for a car and uses other money for her specific foods and clothes. Before i became a dad my dad always wanted me to live with him at 18 and figure it out and stay with him and save money to buy a house. When he found out I was going to be a dad he wasnt mad but disappointed and said everything has to change. He also is paying for my welding school of 20k and he bought me my car but I do have to pay my own insurance. He does help as long as he sees we are trying and not being lazy. When school recently started he took my daughter to daycare every morning and helped Tiffany with a routine to get school work done. **Final edit:** I have to get to class now. Tiffany wants to be a nurse or PA but the college told her nursing school is hard to get into and its best to have a high school diploma which is why she is still in high school and working the weekends. But someone mentioned a dual thing for community college and we will look into that. So we couldnt get daycare assistance because we are minors and they used my dad's salary. The funny thing is I cant open a checking account for myself because i am a minor but the bank allowed me to open a childrens account for my daughter because I am her parent lol the irony. I read every single comment and its given me a different POV and I guess college seems so far and I was counting years but its really not that bad she is like a sister now and those who asked I doubt we will get back together honestly I am not thinking about anything like that right now I am too tired to think of a relationship or that type of future.   [**UPDATE:I 16(M) have a 4month old daughter - ex gf wants to go to College**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/qfj89j/updatei_16m_have_a_4month_old_daughter_ex_gf/) - 25 October 2021 Idk why I feel like I need to update but here it goes, Tiff and my dad went to the school and were able to get her enrolled in college courses because of her grades. She wont graduate H.S way too fast but she will have enough to finish h.s hours by next December so 6 months early. She reapplied for assistance we got a voucher for daycare so now its 50 dollars a week. She quit her job so she can focus on school but she doesnt start college until spring so thats cool it gives her some time. She still wants to be a nurse so thats cool too. I got a new job that pays more as a forklift operator and will give me an internship for welding which I wont be able to start until november/december until i finish my classes and then i have to do a 2 month internship but they are paying me really good. I started Monday. My dad and I had a long talk about my fears and he reassured me that its ok to be scared but we have a game plan. He is fixing up the basement to make 2 bedrooms and a living room like a little apartment because he said Tiff and I will need space as we grow. He wants me to buy the house when i am 18 like he did with his parents and he will help me pay it as long as Tiff gets to stay until she finishes college and let her make her own choice. We all agreed this is the best option and we are all really much happier now. I guess I just needed to let it out. Tiff and I are great while being parents is hard but its been good now that we feel a bit more secure. My mom and Tiffs parents still havent spoken to us because we arent married. Which does make me sad but its ok we have my dad - Tiff's grandparents bought her a car and said thats all they can do for her and not to contact them again until we are married. The car needs some work but I am going to pay for it to fix it up. It needs brakes, suspension and some regular maintenance. My dad finally told me what all happened and I didnt know but it made me open my eyes to all of this. My dad met my mom in H.S too and they were together and got caught kissing. Since my mom's family are Baptist they forced my dad to marry her. I didnt know in Missouri parents can marry their kids at 15 which is why my dad has been so protective. They were going to marry Tiff and I because she was pregnant and when my dad stepped in they couldnt do it. My mom and Tiffs dad went and got a license for us and were going to marry us in their church. I guess I wouldnt have minded marrying Tiff but I would rather do it later. But yeah thats why they arent talking to us. My dad did say if that happened he would helped us get it anulled but we have no intentions of speaking to them right now. He explained that Tiff is stuck and while I might be afraid she is even more afraid because she has no one and I need to reassure her we are here for her as a family. I guess I couldnt see it that way and its good that I talked to him. I hugged my dad and i have been hugging him every day now and its nice its made us closer. All of this information made me pretty sad and grateful at the same time and it helped Tiff and I really start talking more. Like we talked but we didnt talk and I didnt know she was scared too we are now doing days for us to be kids as my dad says. So we both hang out with our friends who still talk to us at least once a week and Tiff and I do a lot of stuff on the weekends now that she doesnt work. Like taking Jelly to the park and going for walks and we did a pumpkin patch. Jelly seems to be happier too and Tiff doesnt seem as tired anymore. anyway thanks everyone for the help, tips and encouragement. I doubt I will update again and just lurk for parenting advice. **Edit:** just want to say thanks for thinking I am a great dad but I dont believe it just yet. I depend a lot on my dad to help me. Tiff and I are trying we do take parenting classes that they offer us a lot of advice and we have made friends there which is nice. But I dont think we would be this prepared without my dad. Also Tiff is on WIC and we take parenting and co-parenting classes its my dads rules.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I 16(M) have a 4month old daughter - ex gf wants to go to College and I am worried

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkgxya/i_16m_have_a_4month_old_daughter_ex_gf_wants_to/

zkh2g2

[removed]

I accidentally created an army of crow body guards. Am I liable if my murder attempts murder?

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkh2g2/i_accidentally_created_an_army_of_crow_body/

zkmakq

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/InfamousFix7972](https://www.reddit.com/user/InfamousFix7972/). She posted in [r/amitheasshole](https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/). I fixed a few spelling and grammatical errors for clarity. Your daily fun fact about dolphins to prevent spoilers on mobile: dolphins sleep with only half their brain. (unihemispheric slow-wave sleep.) When a dolphin sleeps, it shuts down one hemisphere of its brain and closes the opposite eye. Over a 24-hour period, each side of a dolphins brain gets about 4 hours of sleep. It's believed they do this to stay together as a group and watch for predators. ([Source 1](https://www.wwf.org.uk/learn/fascinating-facts/dolphins), [Source 2](https://marcoislanddolphintour.com/dolphin-facts/)) **Trigger Warnings:** >!Overbearing mother-in-law!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!Hopeful ending but I'm still wary of the MIL!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zc92p8/aita_for_not_wearing_my_mils_wedding_dress_and/)**: December 4, 2022** English is not my first language. So i apologize for all mistakes in advance. My MIL who is usually very sweet and nice asked me to try on her wedding dress as she wanted to gift it to me for the wedding. I did not want to hurt her and so I tried on the dress (even though I knew that I wanted to buy my own dress). It fit quite well and looked pretty but not what I was looking for at all. So I thanked MIL for the opportunity and the gesture but that it was not what I envisioned myself wearing on my wedding day. But that she was welcome to join me and my mom the next day when we were looking for wedding dresses. She joined us and I thought everything was fine. But during the shopping she tried to make me try on dresses similar to her wedding dress, but more my style. I tried two of her picks but stated that it was still not what I was looking for, even though I liked it a little better on me than her dress. And I thanked her for helping me. She got quiet and only shrugged her shoulders over the other dresses I tried on. I finally found my dream dress, bought it (I am paying about 2000€ and my parents payed about 300€ for shoes and a veil. My In-laws don’t pay anything towards the dress or the wedding) and then we went to eat lunch together. MIL was still unusually quiet so i asked what was wrong and if I could help her. She shrugged her shoulders and said “it’s fine” and I thought she needed a little time for her. So I started a conversation with my mom and started eating after we all got our food. We did not exclude her and tried to make her a part of our conversation. But she just shrugged and moped. A few minutes into lunch she said “You are an ungrateful spoiled brat.” And I was utterly confused and asked why. That’s what she said: “I would have gifted you my dress but it wasn’t good enough for little miss-I-want-a-new-dress. That’s ungrateful. And I tried to find a compromise with a dress that matched both our tastes in a dress and you still denied all that. You're so ungrateful and impolite. Not even able to make a compromise.” Then she stood up, paid for her meal and left without me being able to say anything. I asked my fiancé later that day about it and he told me to not very as I did nothing wrong. But SIL texted me that I was an ungrateful asshole for hurting her mother this much and not compromising on anything. AITA? ***Relevant Comments:*** "As I stated normally she is really sweet and nice. I don’t believe she is a bad person. That’s why I am asking myself if I should have compromised because it looks like I really hurt her" "I don’t know why it’s important to her. Maybe because we normally have a really good relationship?And to SIL: she is 10 years older, single (and I don’t believe that will change due to her attitude) and to big for the dress (dress is a 36, she is a 44)" ***OOP is resoundingly voted NTA*** **Update (same day, 3 hours later, same post)** 1. My fiancé already talked to her. I believe 3 or 4 days ago. But thanks for the suggestion 2. My MIL called me just a few minutes ago to apologize. To me it sounded sincere. She told me that she was disappointed that day because she wanted to be a part of all that at my wedding day and she did not know how to ask since my parents already said they pay for my veil and shoes. And she knew that I don’t were jewelery expect my engagement ring and a necklace my fiancé gifted me 8 years ago, so she couldn’t give something like this. And she did not want to gift me a garter, since she thought it inappropriate to gift her DIL something like that. And that she was hurt after trying to give input on my dress and was rejected. She apologized again and then asked to treat me and my mom to lunch tomorrow as an apology for her behave and that she wants to offer (if I am up for it) that she pays for my bridal bouquet. So tomorrow we are going out for lunch and after that to a florist so I can show her the flowers I like and the idea I have for my bouquet. I thank you all for your judgments. **I was unsure whether to mark this as ongoing or concluded, but decided on ongoing just in case there are more MIL updates. I hope everything turns out fine for OOP and that the MIL just had a weird off day!**

AITA for not wearing my MILs wedding dress and not compromising on a dress she likes

ONGOING

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkmakq/aita_for_not_wearing_my_mils_wedding_dress_and/

zknli4

[removed]

I told my mom how jealous I am of my half-siblings and now she won't stop crying

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zknli4/i_told_my_mom_how_jealous_i_am_of_my_halfsiblings/

zkot88

[removed]

AITAA for taking my niece to court over a coat?

CONCLUDED

TheRed_Knight

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkot88/aitaa_for_taking_my_niece_to_court_over_a_coat/

zkouzg

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/throwaway00292\_](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwaway00292_/). She posted in r/AITA. Short and sweet. Time for your daily fun fact about animals to help eliminate spoilers for people on mobile! Per the request of u/SweetheartAtHeart and u/Might_Aware, this one is about hedgehogs: all hedgehogs are lactose intolerant. And as a bonus fact from Migh\_Aware, African Pygmy hedgehogs can safely eat venomous scorpions! ([Source 1](https://www.lovethegarden.com/uk-en/article/15-hedgehog-facts-kids), [Source 2](https://virginiazoo.org/animal/hedgehog-african-pygmy/)) **Mood Spoiler:** >!Actual adult communication wins out!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zaghye/wibta_if_i_attended_my_best_friends_wedding/)**: December 2, 2022** Apologies if the format looks weird, I’m typing this on my phone and its my first time posting on Reddit. I (f24) have been best friends with ‘Andrew’ (m24) since kindergarten. It has always been me and him against the world, we’ve had other friends throughout our lives and been part of different circles but we’ve always been each other’s number one. Things got tricky when we joined the dating pool, some of my boyfriends would often times get jealous of the bond we shared. Obviously to us, it was always purely platonic but in our small town, a male and female friendship as close as ours was unconventional. Andrew started dating Jess in April 2019 and they are due to get married in January. I am extremely happy for them and I’m looking forward to having little babies to spoil. However, I recently found out through a mutual friend that Jess does not like me. Jess was telling my friend that she has always felt insecure about me and Andrew’s friendship and thinks I have feelings for him. It was my first time hearing about this, she has always been nice and sweet when we’ve met up so this came out of the blue for me. Our mutual friend advised me to not attend the wedding as to not ruin Jess’ special day. I have been thinking about not going but I was named Andrew’s ‘best man’ alongside his brother and I don’t want to bail on him or hurt his feelings by not attending. So, WIBTA If I attended my best friend’s wedding? ***Relevant Comment:*** *Regarding her being his number one:* "I understand what you’re saying but I meant it as, even if we have other friends or are in different circles, we’re still each other’s best friends or number one friend. We’ve always been respectful of boundaries when we’ve been in relationships and other than jealousy fits by two of my exes, we’ve never had a problem with our friendship that I know of until now." ***OOP is voted NTA.*** **Update** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zejqp4/update_wibta_if_i_attended_my_best_friends_wedding/)**: December 6, 2022** Thank you so much to everyone who replied and gave me some things to think about in my previous post. I’m very happy to inform everyone that this is a happy update and things thankfully didn’t escalate. I reached out to Andrew and talked with him privately about what I had heard and he was also as taken back as I was, given that Jess had not mentioned anything to him either. I asked for him to not mention it to Jess and instead chose to talk to her myself. We had lunch at my apartment and she did confide in me about some insecurities she had felt about my friendship with her fiancé. I was more than happy to reassure her that he was nothing more to me than a little brother. We also established more boundaries so she feels more secure. We also talked about what our mutual friend said and Jess did talk to her about how she was feeling but she never asked or even mentioned my participation in the wedding. I did offer to back out of the wedding party but she insisted that it wasn’t necessary and both her and Andrew wanted me there. I did take some people’s advice and me and Jess will have a girls night every Friday. It’s important to me to be able to be even closer with her and I want to be able to put any of her worries to rest. As for some criticism in my last post about me saying me and Andrew were each other’s ‘number one’, I can assure you all that I meant it in “we’ll have other friends but we’ll always be each other’s number one friend”. I know my place in Andrew’s life and I am in no way trying to be or will I ever be above his future wife.

WIBTA if I attended my best friend’s wedding?

CONCLUDED

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkouzg/wibta_if_i_attended_my_best_friends_wedding/

zkpx5o

[removed]

I was drunk and fought terribly with my boyfriend’s elder brother. This has destroyed our relationship, what can I do to make this right ?

REPOST

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkpx5o/i_was_drunk_and_fought_terribly_with_my/

zkrl9v

[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddevils/comments/z2nn5l/a_question_about_sir_alex/) posted by u/the_messer in r/reddevils on 23 Nov 2022 **A Question about Sir Alex** Hi all. This is a long shot (and then some). I'm trying to find some way to reach Sir Alex. My dad was chair of a supporters club for almost 20 years and met Sir Alex on multiple occasions. Unfortunately my dad is now getting palliative care due to an aggressive cancer and I'm trying everything I can to reach out and possibly get a short message for him. As I say, I know it's a long shot but if anyone has any idea how I might manage it I'd really appreciate it. Thanks. ----------------------------------- [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddevils/comments/z4b2ct/update_sir_alexs_team_contacted_me/) posted by u/the_messer in r/reddevils on 25 Nov 2022 **UPDATE: Sir Alex's team contacted me!** Guys I am so indebted to you all. A contact provided by **redacted** panned out and I got an email initially from the club and then from Sir Alex's PA. They're arranging something for my dad now. It's easy to flick by things like this and I guess I just want everyone to know that the kind messages, suggestions and even the upvotes mean a lot to me. More than that, the end result will give my dad an incredibly happy memory in the final chapter of his life. Thank you doesn't cut it, but it's all I've really got, so thank you, thank you, thank you. **I AM NOT THE OP**

OP wants to get in touch with Sir Alex Ferguson

ONGOING

beerbellybegone

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkrl9v/op_wants_to_get_in_touch_with_sir_alex_ferguson/

zkrmvv

**I am not OP. Original post is by** u/KlonularHavok **from** r/TrueOffMyChest Mood spoilers: >!Hopeful for OP!< \--- [Original - I told my mom how jealous I am of my half-siblings and now she won't stop crying](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zatbee/i_told_my_mom_how_jealous_i_am_of_my_halfsiblings/) \- Posted on December 2, 2022 I (16m) was born to my mom when she was 15 and I've never known by real dad. My mom didn't drop out of school or anything and the year after I was born, she started dating Jack and when they went to university, I obviously got left behind with my grandparents. Mom and Jack got good degrees, got married and moved to a city by Vancouver. My mom's always been in my life, she would still come home every weekend just to cuddle with me and would always give me these nicknames but calling me her special guy would be her favourite one. She'd always bring me back presents and gifts and spend the whole time playing with me. She's the one who paid for my tutoring and after school stuff and would try and make it to games and stuff like that. Jack wouldn't always come with her, but it was always fun when he would. He's taken me fishing with him a lot of times and we even went camping for two weeks together once (but never again because I hate camping). But when I was ten, my mom and Jack had a daughter and then another girl three years ago. I don't really know them, especially because my mom stopped coming over as much after they were born. We don't cuddle anymore, we did on my birthday but that's it, no more cute nicknames for me except for special guy (it's like they all got transferred to her daughters), no more gifts and the worst part is she doesn't come to my games anymore. It was okay with me before because they still had a spare room in their house and I could go there when it's time for university. Yesterday, my mom FaceTimed and she had the big announcement that she was going to have another baby and it was a boy and now she'd have two special guys. I guess she saw how sour my face was because she asked what's wrong and I don't know I just admitted how jealous I was that her daughters got her so much and now her son was going to get her and there wouldn't even be space for me there when I had to go to university. And I guess what I said affected her because she started crying and wouldn't stop and had to hang up. My grandparents are mad that I made her upset and think I don't value them now or something. Jack phoned me and he's mad because my mom thinks it's a mistake now to have another kid and also mad at me because he was like why would I ever think they wouldn't have room for me. I feel like I really messed up telling her that and here I am at school, writing about it on Reddit because I can't stop thinking about it. \--- [Update - An update to how things went over the weekend](https://www.reddit.com/user/KlonularHavok/comments/zedzu1/an_update_to_how_things_went_over_the_weekend/) \- Posted on December 6, 2022 (I tried posting this on off my chest but it got removed) So I posted on Friday at school and when I came home, my mom and Jack and their kids were already there talking to my grandparents. As soon as my mom saw me she gave me such a big hug she actually lifted me up for a second (which is weird cause I am taller than her now) and then wouldn't stop kissing me on the face and telling me she loves me. I said hi to everyone and my grandparents had my mom take me into my room to talk to me alone. In my room she told me she was sorry that I felt like she'd been paying me less attention and that a new baby isn't going to replace me and I'd always be her special guy. I started crying so we weren't able to talk until I calmed down and then Jack came in and joined us. I just admitted that I felt like I wasn't that important to my mom anymore and if they were having a boy then there would be no point in them taking me when it's time for university. And then Jack left cause he kind of started crying hearing me say that and that was weird. My mom told me that she wanted to take me when I was 13 and going into high school because she thought that was the best time to do it. Except she argued with my grandparents about it a lot and they said it was best if I stayed with them. Then when my mom took me to a game she saw how much fun I was having with my friends and thought they were right. When I said I wanted to go to SFU she and Jack were happy because it meant I would be with them when I graduated. When I asked about the spare room that was meant to be mine, she admitted that they hadn't thought about what would be the baby's room and would have to figure something out since they aren't giving up my room. My mom told me she'd come and take me every weekend because she said it was wrong that she started paying less attention to me but thought it was okay because I was independent and had my grandparents. She said that she wanted me to spend my breaks with them as well. I don't want to leave my high school but my mom said I could do that for my grad year if I wanted to move in with them earlier. I did have a talk with Jack too and he told me that he was glad I confessed everything and that his parents got mad at him for him not telling me that when he called me. We did all have a fun weekend together (except my grandparents cause they don't leave the house cause of COVID) and I do want weekends to keep being like that. I don't know if I'm allowed to keep doing updates here so this might be the only one. But hopefully this will help calm down everyone who keeps messaging this account for one. \--- *Marked as Concluded for now, since OOP wasn't sure about posting new updates.* **Reminder - I am not the original poster**

I told my mom how jealous I am of my half-siblings and now she won't stop crying

CONCLUDED

SJDude13

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkrmvv/i_told_my_mom_how_jealous_i_am_of_my_halfsiblings/

zktk9m

[removed]

anybody travelling to qatar by road from UAE

ONGOING

Winter-Link4890

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zktk9m/anybody_travelling_to_qatar_by_road_from_uae/

zktmfm

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/exact-explanation-22 in r/trueoffmychest. [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/za6z9b/my_husband_cheated_on_me_do_you_guys_think_its_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (2 Dec 22) **My husband cheated on me, do you guys think it's a one time thing?** My (24f) husband (29m) have been in a relationship for 6 years. We got married three years ago. I thought our relationship was perfect, there was never any signs of anything being wrong. He came home on time everyday and left for work on time everyday. He was always affectionate and I thought our relationship was perfect. But then when he was in the shower I saw a notification on his phone. It was from a girl on Instagram, I'd never seen before. I opened his phone with his passcode. He'd always been very open with me about his passcode and things like that. I'd never checked his phone before because I didn't feel I had too. When I opened Instragram (which I didn't even know he had downloaded) I found a bunch of messages to small influencers who posted revealing photos. I am in no way against them but my husband was clearly flirting with them. His account had some photos of him (with some heavy filtering) and his bio said he was 25 and single. I was shocked obviously and just kept staring at the phone. But I couldn't stop looking. I took screenshots and sent them to myself with the usernames of the girls. When my husband came out of the shower he found me crying and on his phone. He quickly realized what happens and started to comfort me and tell me it was just a one time mistake. I asked if he had gone on dates or slept with any other women. Then he got angry and started shouting at me that I invaded his privacy. He kicked me out of the house and I went to a friend's home. I'd never seen that side of him before. In 6 years he'd always been so sweet and loving. Sometimes he'd get angry sure but everyone did and I can't blame him for that. I know men have urges to cheat sometimes because it's just how they are biologically so I don't blame him. I just wished he'd talk to me. My friend told me I'm being delusional and made a good point about how he hadn't apologized yet. I thought I should post here after lurking for a while and ask for some advice on what I should do because I feel so lost right now. [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zeo2x5/i_reached_out_to_who_my_husband_was_cheating_on/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (6 Dec 22) **I reached out to who my husband was cheating on me with** This is kinda an update to my last post on a different sub but I just wanted to talk about what I did. Update on the situation itself: I read a lot of comments and advice people gave me and I realized I deserved better than that. I deserved someone that loved me for me and wouldn't need someone else to 'satisfy' them. But something about everything really bugged me. In the screenshots that I had, there was this girl. The girl was like the main person he texted and flirted with. She was 23 and I just felt so horrible because she seemed so in love with him. I found her Instagram and I messaged her. I thought that she deserved to know what happened. She was pissed when she found out what was happening. So I can stop referring to her as 'she' I'll call her J. J was clearly upset at the whole situation and kept apologizing to me. Then she asked if she could take me out for coffee to talk about this whole situation. I agreed because I was curious. So basically we met up the following day and I talked to her about my husband and she told me about how they met and how long they had been dating. He went behind my back and dated her for 10 months. 10 months. Which was just insane to me that he managed to find the time inbetween without me noticing. But here's the kicker, he was still texting her! I quickly learned that J was a very vengeful person because she told me that she wanted to lead my husband on for me. She told me that she herself had been cheated on before and was not going to let another cheater get off the hook like that. J gave me a pep talk about how I'm a strong powerful woman and we need to stick together which was honestly really refreshing. She said that she'd continue to flirt with him and etc and try to get him to let her come to our house (apparently he only met her at hotels or at her home) and then she'd get a bunch of glitter and throw it all over his stuff. Honestly it made me laugh to think about because my husband would be so angry. So I allowed her to do that because honestly I don't care about any of my stuff that'll get damaged in the process. I wasn't a big spender so I didn't have much and I wouldn't be surprised if what I did have was already destroyed by him. I'll update you guys on that if you're interested. Update on my emotional situation: I feel a lot better than I did when I made that post. I still feel upset and I still have this feeling that it's my fault but thanks to you guys, J and the awesome friend I've been staying with I feel a lot better. I feel angry and frustrated but more exhausted than anything. I've gotten in contact with a lawyer and that's a whole complicated process that I just don't want to deal with. I just want to be free of him. I feel disgusted with myself and betrayed. I mourn the relationship I had but now that I look back on it, I was always tense and a sad shell. Sorry I'm rambling. EDIT: okay so I forgot to mention in the post because I thought it was obvious but J genuinely had no idea that my husband was lying to her. I could tell how upset she was, it's the type of upset that you can't really describe over text. She was very apologetic to me about the situation and felt very guilty herself. Trust me when I say that she has no intentions of getting back with my husband. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP - My husband cheated on me, do you guys think it's a one time thing?

ONGOING

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zktmfm/oop_my_husband_cheated_on_me_do_you_guys_think/

zkvctx

Palm Angels NFT public/free Ethereum mint now live. 2022 NFTs for the first 2022 people.

CONCLUDED

Mu7yka8470

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkvctx/palm_angels_nft_publicfree_ethereum_mint_now_live/

zky1os

[removed]

A redditor is dying of multiple cancers, and his end game is to see Endgame before he dies.

REPOST

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zky1os/a_redditor_is_dying_of_multiple_cancers_and_his/

zkz11t

[removed]

About us

INCONCLUSIVE

LiudmylaTymofiienko

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zkz11t/about_us/

zl03ck

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/TAsalary **in** r/AmItheAsshole   [**AITA for telling my old boss I don't believe in loyalty and its unreasonable to expect me not to quit for a better paid job?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j1nkhg/aita_for_telling_my_old_boss_i_dont_believe_in/) \- 28th September 2020 Worked at my first job for 6 years. They trained me from ground zero on everything. I had a great boss (fought for my promotions, etc. - in those 6 years my salary doubled). Got an offer from a more prestigious company with better growth opportunities and double the salary \[Edited. Maths are hard - thanks u/automatic691212\]. We're talking substantial money (120k vs 250k). I quit without thinking twice, and thought it was more respectful not to ask my old boss to use any of his political capital to get me a match (he couldn't, part of my new comp is stock in the new company and the salary is likely more than his pay). So I simply gave him my notice and explained my transition plan. Boss was truly devastated and very very angry. We both stayed professional throughout the discussion but it got heated and he questioned my loyalty as if it's a character flaw. I said my view is I paid him and the company back with my hard work so we're at the very least even. Arguably they got a bargain deal because I could have jumped ship for more money 2 years ago. \[EDIT: didn't say this last sentence out loud.\] Should I have handled any of this differently? My wife and some friends say I'm being rather cold and calculating. I should have shown more loyalty since the company gave me so much. I think it's disrespectful to assume I didn't give them anything less than enough in return - I know my worth and my contribution to the company's bottom line. I've seen people walked out of the door after 2 decades with a "pink slip" and no one shed a tear the morning after. I respect my old boss, but what the hell is "loyalty to your job" supposed to even mean? EDIT: I can’t possibly respond to everyone and read every comment so if there’s something super pressing you wanted to ask or share feel free to DM and I may be able to answer. Thanks for the engagement and helpful insight everyone!   **Verdict - NTA (Not the A-hole)**   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jf1qpc/update_aita_for_telling_my_old_boss_i_dont/) \- 20th October 2020 Probably a bit mundane, but some folks wanted an update. Took my old boss out for a beer to not burn that bridge as some of you have suggested (we sat in an outside pub garden for all the health-conscious redditors). Both had a great time. A couple months helped us cool off and getting together turned into a lot of reminiscing about the good old times together. It also got us taking even more frankly about the things that would be viewed too political if we were still employed by the same company. I think I may have kept my mentor in my life after all. I apologized for perhaps ending things with my old job too abruptly. He said I couldn't have left at a worst time but then again there was no better or worse time to lose me, and to not sweat it. Said he understands why I took the job, respects my reasoning for trying to protect him from using up the goodwill he built to save me as an employee/get me a match, and that giving him an earlier heads-up might have given him more time to find a replacement but didn't make a huge difference at the end of the day. It's all water under the bridge now. The company already hired my replacement for about 25% more than I was paid (he didn't disclose the exact amount but that was the implication). He was blunt I wouldn't have gotten that much even with the offer I had. He also said his priorities in life are very different and he's happy where he is due to personal reasons and work-life perks, but that I need to seek what is the right answer for me. Said he's be happy to work with me again if an opportunity presents itself (and I echoed that sentiment). Who knows, we may end up on the same team one way or another. A few things I took away from the reddit discussion and our talk with the old boss: * Look out for yourself. Your company is not the same thing as your boss. There are structural obstacles to fight against, and because you're loyal to one person doesn't mean the company as a whole feels that way about you. I don't regret my choice. * Be good to people who were good to you and do right by them, if that doesn't go against #1. I wasn't a dick in my final interview and thanked my old boss profusely. It made a difference, but obviously he was still upset in the moment. Which leads me to #3.. * People are people. They are imperfect and have lapses of judgement. If you see them as such, you will find it easier to move on and move up in your professional life. Good luck you all, and thanks again for your input. Sometimes consulting reddit does put a good spin on a trivial story. Edit: apologies but I’m going to struggle to respond to every award and comment individually. I’ve tried to answer all the questions though. Thanks for your support and good luck with your careers!   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for telling my old boss I don't believe in loyalty and its unreasonable to expect me not to quit for a better paid job?

CONCLUDED

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zl03ck/aita_for_telling_my_old_boss_i_dont_believe_in/

zl66fq

[removed]

My spouse is a pet hoarder

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zl66fq/my_spouse_is_a_pet_hoarder/

zl74a7

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/brokenhearted-temp in r/trueoffmychest** trigger warnings: >!revenge porn, addiction, domestic abuse, manipulation, groping, rape!< mood spoiler: >!sad!< ---   [**My husband posted my body online**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/wuvmpn/my_husband_posted_my_body_online/) - 22 August 2022 Last Friday I (34f) spent my evening with (obligatory fake name) Kate a young friend (24f) from work as she wanted to discuss something personal with me. I didn’t think anything of it as we do have a very personal relationship outside of work as well. As soon as I arrived to her place the tension in the air was thick. She explained that she wanted to discuss a serious matter with me but that she didn’t know how to go about it. I told her to just rip the band-aid off and tell me. She told me that she had found two recordings of a woman she believed to be me on a pornographic website. I told her that wouldn’t be possible but she was adamant that I was the woman in the recording. And she was right. I’ve never recorded myself naked or having sex with my husband but there I was in two recordings of 7 minutes and 4 minutes both of them recorded in our old bedroom. As I rewatched every second of it, it starts to dawn on me that this was my husbands doing. But I pushed that deep down because there must be a reasonable explanation for this. Honestly I left her place with my mind in a complete meltdown. I could barely hear what she was saying but she did follow up with a text saying she’s been in contact with the website about getting it taken down and that she’ll help me go through this. She also said she’s scouring the internet incase there are more out there. I came home and pretty much ransacked my house looking for evidence and I found it. My husband was using a hidden spy cameras to spy on me and record me in my most intimate moments. I then just spent hours vomiting, crying, projectile vomiting some more and begging god to just let this be a nightmare. I am a deeply religious and a fully veiled Muslim woman and I’ve never been with anyone but my husband and all this time he has been sharing my most intimate moments with the the world. I don’t know what to think or what to do. I can’t look at him or speak to him. Ive locked myself in our bedroom pretending I have covid. All I do is look up how other people have dealt with getting things removed and it’s seems like once it’s on the internet it really is forever even if I remove it from this 1 website. Ive been crying non stop. He truly must be something demonic as he is right now talking about ordering in some of my favorites to see if I have an appetite since I haven’t been eating well. I am so unbelievably hurt. I don’t know how to share this with my family,how to ask for help I am crippled with shame,anger and pain. Answering some questions- 1 My husband (soon to be ex-husband) and I are the same religion,race,ethnicity and nationality. 2 My culture does not participate in honor killings and I’m not afraid of my family harming me or not siding with me. 3 My family would support me in divorcing him, in fact they would demand I do. 4 The laws in my country are secular but in certain circumstances it allows for the various religious groups in the country to hold their own courts that can enforce their rulings (as long as it doesn’t impose or break secular law or civil liberties ). 5 I do plan on taking this to secular court and religious court as I want him punished. 6 I am veiled by choice and the vast majority of my fellow countrywomen do not veil. 7 I am a niqabi meaning the only part of me visible to the public are my eyes. When I am with my family or with other women/in women only spaces I don’t veil. 8 Kate and I do not share the same religion, nor dress alike and yet we are friends: quelle surprise.   [**Update on my previous post- My husband posted my body online**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/x8mp5c/update_on_my_previous_post_my_husband_posted_my/) - 8 September 2022 I left him as I said I would. He went to work. The movers arrived,we packed my stuff and we left. The entire time I was crying to the point that even the movers were worried for me but I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I went home sat my parents and siblings down, and explained the situation. My parents were and still are confused. They are elderly and fragile. They don’t understand the internet. They just keep saying okay “let’s talk to the people and it will be gone”. But my siblings understand. They are angry. They are sad and heartbroken on my behalf. My siblings and brother-in-laws took me home. We waited for him and well we had a conversation with him. He denied it at first. So my brothers were “firm” with him and he started to be more truthful. He said he did it because he was depressed,because he had a porn addiction,sex addiction and because he didn’t think anyone would see it. He said he posted only a few. When we asked him to be specific he said he posted anything from 5 to 8. We had him take it down but who knows how many times it has been downloaded or shared. In that moment I also found out he had a secret phone. He was also cheating on me with random women and sex-workers. All this time I was thinking he’s working hard but nope he was out disgracing himself and betraying our marriage. At some point he convinced us he needed to use the bathroom and he somehow managed to call his mother. Who arrived at our home with his brother and cousins. There was a commotion as they were angry at the treatment of their family member. Then things calmed down enough to explain to them what he had done. His mother fainted. His mother is elderly and not in the greatest health condition. We called for an ambulance. My neighbor had also called the police and I was arrested by the time the ambulance arrived to take care of my mother-in-law. I spent the evening locked up. Didn’t exactly have polite conversation with him. So yes I was arrested for assaulting him (specifically slapping him) and he refused to press charges. Got released the next morning and went home to my parents. Cried some more because my parents kept crying. Then a few days later I spoke to some lawyers my sister had contacted as they had experience with non-consensual material being posted online. They have been handling things with the police as I did press charges and they are dealing with the websites. I also have started the process of divorce. I went to the clinic and got tested and luckily he didn’t give me anything so far but I have another test scheduled just to make sure. I have spoken to his mother and she apologized to me even though it’s not her fault. She told me that she understood why I want him punished. She asked that I let it stay in the hands of the law rather then I hurt him or have him hurt. He’s in hiding but he still calls and texts me from random numbers. He still lies and tries to manipulate me. I’ve just been documenting everything he says and texts to me. Oh at this point everyone knows. I mean everyone even little kids. And I feel more humiliated now then I did at first.   [**My husband posted my body online -The more I know the more I just want the earth to swallow me up. - 3rd update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zdp2vn/my_husband_posted_my_body_online_the_more_i_know/) - 6 December 2022 This man has destroyed everything I have worked for and has completely destroyed the very little sense of stability and safety I had left. I had to resign from my job. A job that I loved. Jobs don’t come easy for me with the way that I look. I can’t work there anymore because I am a potential danger to the children and staff. Since perverted men have started to harass me at work. I work with vulnerable children and mothers who have heard about me have started to refuse me working with their children. Some don’t want me to be involved with their child because their husbands can’t stop being weird. Fathers have leered at me or made lewd comments toward me and one of them even offered me money to sleep with him. Men have catcalled me with greater frequency then ever before. Men stare at me. A man followed my from my dentist office and groped me on the street. Random men call my phone,my family home and office to verbally abuse me because my husband has posted my address, my personal and work email, phone numbers, work place address and every other bit of information online. It is as if the eyes and judgement of the entire world is on me. Yes the great majority of people are sympathetic, kind and in support of me. Many people have reached out in support of me, from old classmates to former colleagues,neighbors,members of my religious community, family friends, his family and many many more have expressed solidarity and kindness but the crazies and perverts who believe him and are like him, are bolder, louder and much more noticeable. Then I find out from my lawyers and their investigators that he was drugging me and assaulting me as I slept. I suffer from migraines and insomnia and take medication for it. He saw my medication as opportunity to drug me with my own prescriptions. He shared (was actually bragging) on a forum where other perverts congregate how he was so clever for drugging me with my own medication and they were encouraging him to do more things to me. Soon to be ex-husband has also decided to spread rumor’s that I was aware of the cameras and pressured him into posting online AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE HIM! He also changed his mind about not pressing charges. I went to court. The judge and prosecutors were sympathetic and dismissed the case. It was a combination of my lawyers explaining the circumstances that led to me slapping him and his subsequent actions(threatening me,attacking me,doxxing me and blackmailing me by saying he didn’t care about the slap and that he would drop everything if I forgave him) My lawyers used his own words against him since he wrote it in text and on a recorded call he admitted to me not having slapped him that hard and that he only pressed charges to cause me harm. But his crimes against me are still being investigated by the prosecutors. Uploaded this before but it was deleted for some reason.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

[NEW UPDATE] My husband posted my body online

NEW UPDATE

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zl74a7/new_update_my_husband_posted_my_body_online/

zlb8d1

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/amazing-stomach-5207 in r/relationship_advice. [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ybe38e/had_a_threesome_with_fwb_now_she_wants_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (24 Oct 22) **Had a threesome with FWB now she wants a relationship while I don't** She (28f) has been in a fwb relationship with me (27m) for the past year. Recently she told me that one of her fantasies is to have a mfm 3some and after some deliberation I agreed. We had the 3some around 2 weeks ago and I thought that was it. But yesterday my fwb really surprised me by saying that she wants a exclusive relationship with me. Now I will be honest, I had asked her once or twice to become my gf in the past but she said she isnt ready. Now she is ready. But how do I tell her that I literally saw her have sex with someone else right in front of my eyes and I am not likely to forget that. Yes we were not exclusive but feelings were there. And I was able to convince myself of the 3some only after telling myself that we will never actually be in a relationship. I would never agree to a 3some with someone I am dating. But how do I tell her all this without coming across as hurtful? [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ycydzd/update_had_a_threesome_with_fwb_now_she_wants_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (26 Oct 22) **Update- Had a threesome with FWB now she wants a relationship while I dont** So I told her what most of you guys suggested, that my desire for a serious relationship with her ended after she turned me down 2 times. She then asked me why was I saying that I would start a relationship with her in a heartbeat if she asked, so I lied and said I was joking. She also asked if the threesome had anything to do with my decision and I said no, my decision was made long before that, I dont think she was convinced with my answer but I stuck to it. She tried to argue that we will make a very good couple but I just told her its not a possibility. I also told her that we should put our friendship on hold for some time till the feelings subside and we actually see each other as friends rather than possible romantic partners. It goes without saying that our FWB arrangement is done and I have decided that fwb is not for me. I cant keep feelings aside from sex and it would only be harmful to me. Thank you to everyone who chimed in with advice. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP - Had a threesome with FWB now she wants a relationship while I don't.

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prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlb8d1/oop_had_a_threesome_with_fwb_now_she_wants_a/

zlb8y6

[removed]

WIBTA if I uninvited a friend from a party because of her hygiene?

REPOST

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlb8y6/wibta_if_i_uninvited_a_friend_from_a_party/

zlccf9

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/thepiratesovereign in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**WIBTA if I uninvited a friend from a party because of her hygiene?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p2uxpx/wibta_if_i_uninvited_a_friend_from_a_party/) - 12 August 2021 My friend Addy has always had a slight smell. She lives a bohemian lifestyle. As a result, she doesn’t always have a reliable place to do laundry or shower. She’s a fun person to hang out with, so I just accepted it as one her many quirks. However, within the past eight weeks or so, the smell has become much worse. It’s an intense, musty odor that fills whatever small space we’re in and sticks to any cloth she comes into contact with. For example if Addy sat on my bed, I’ll have to strip the sheets to wash after she leaves, or the smell will stay in the room. The last time she came over, my housemates complained that the smell drifted all the way downstairs from my room. Now that Addy’s problem is affecting the other people in my life, I have to acknowledge it. Because the issue got worse within the past few months, it could be signs of a health issue (physical or mental.) I don’t know how I could ever bring up the smell with Addy herself. How can you broach a subject like that without utterly embarrassing the person? So the asshole part: months ago, before the smell got worse, I invited Addy to a party I’m hosting. Now I’m concerned that her hygiene issues will impact the enjoyment of my other guests. Do I lie and tell her it’s cancelled/postponed and still hold it for my other friends? Or do I address the issue directly? Verdict: YTA **EDIT:** Thank you to everyone who gave me the honest assessment that, yes, I would indeed be the asshole if I excluded my friend without explanation. I have a tough and uncomfortable conversation ahead of me but it’s one that needs to happen. Thanks especially to those that offered gentle talking points. I sincerely hope the issue isn’t a symptom of something that requires treatment. If it is, then it is better to bring up sooner rather than never. If it isn’t, and just a matter of having access to cleaning facilities, I’ll check with my housemates before opening an invitation for Addy to use my own. Thanks to everyone for your frank advice. It’s much appreciated.   [**UPDATE: WIBTA if I uninvited a friend from a party because of her hygiene?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/passdw/update_wibta_if_i_uninvited_a_friend_from_a_party/) - 24 August 2021 I followed Reddit’s advice and took the issue to my friend directly. I asked Addy to meet at a coffee house so we were on neutral ground. I decided to bring it up closer to the end of our meeting so she didn’t feel awkward through the rest of our catch-up. I said, “Hey, I need to talk to you. Something has changed in the past few weeks and I wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’ve noticed a strong smell. Do you have a place to shower or do laundry? Do you need help?” I let her know I felt the need to bring it up because I care for her, and as friends we need to look out for each other. Addy was, as expected, mortified. It really hurt to see her so distressed. She apologized several times for causing ME discomfort. (She really is too nice.) She assured me that she did have access to those facilities and didn’t know what the cause of the smell might be. Because she was assertive about wanting to solve this problem, I offered that maybe it was the new clothes she thrifted. Some garments require special care (like dry cleaning.) Addy said that was possible, and assured me that she was going to start working on a solution as soon as we said goodbye. It was predictably awkward after the news broke. When I left, I was sure I lost a friend. But since then, we’ve been texting jokes and personal updates as per usual. So I think we’re okay! As for the problem, I don’t know if it’s been put to rest quite yet. We both got new jobs recently, and we won’t be able to see each other until right before the party. I should probably have another brief coffee date before then to see if Addy’s solution worked. But, now that the subject has been breached, I feel better about bringing it up in the future (if needed.) Especially because Addy will know where I’m coming from: a place of love and concern. Thanks to everyone for your frank assessments before and your very helpful advice. I’m really glad I listened. **UPDATE:** I saw Addy recently, and... the smell is gone! She asked me if I could still detect it and, when I said I didn't, told me that she had laundered her entire wardrobe. So it seems the issue was indeed laundry-based. We're both really excited for the party and I'm so glad that she'll be there. I think in a weird way, being honest about the situation actually made us closer as friends. Thanks again everyone!   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

WIBTA if I uninvited a friend from a party because of her hygiene?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlccf9/wibta_if_i_uninvited_a_friend_from_a_party/

zlcdfx

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/tomatillounique7509 in r/trueoffmychest** trigger warnings: >!rape, suicide!< mood spoiler: >!hopeful!< ---   [**I'm going to break up with my girlfriend because her best friend sexually assaulted me and I can't tell her**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z8bnln/im_going_to_break_up_with_my_girlfriend_because/) - 30 November 2022 I will keep this short, but I want to tell someone because I can't tell anyone. My girlfriend's best friend sexually assaulted me and I can't bring myself to tell my girlfriend. I'm afraid she won't believe me. I have no evidence, so I wouldn't blame her if she didn't believe me. They have known each other since elementary school and I have known her for less than a year, so it wouldn't make any sense for her to believe me. I can't pretend like nothing happened either. I feel like I would have a panic attack if I saw her friend again. I'm not proud of what I'm going to do, but I'm going to break up over text without giving a reason. I know it's a shitty thing to do, but I can't bring myself to do anything else. She is probably going to think she did something wrong and blame herself, and her friend is probably going to do the same thing she did to me to someone else. Am I a coward? Yes, but everything would be even worse if I was brave enough to do the right thing. I know that doesn't make it okay.   [**Update: I'm going to break up with my girlfriend because her best friend sexually assaulted me and I can't tell her. [I told her, she believes me, her friend had done it before, I still worry a lot]**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zeq5zd/update_im_going_to_break_up_with_my_girlfriend/) - 7 December 2022 I was going to break up with my girlfriend but I couldn't. I ghosted her until she came to see me in person, and then told her everything. She believed me. We both cried. I felt so relieved to be believed. I never expected that was even a possibility. She told me that when they were in high school, a friend told her that her best friend raped him. She didn't believe him and believed her best friend when she told her it was actually the other way around. Neither accusation was made publicly or to anyone else as far as she knows, but the other friend committed suicide. My girlfriend blames herself for that and also for what happened to me. I have tried to tell her that it's not her fault. It's only her former best friend's fault. She has a hard time accepting that. My girlfriend wants me to go to the police and said she would go with me. I agreed initially, but I then had second thoughts because I still don't have any evidence, and they could just as well arrest me. My girlfriend tried to secretly record herself confronting her former best friend (with my permission) to get evidence, but it didn't work. She denied it and my girlfriend punched her in the face. I don't know if I will have the courage to go to the police. I'm worried my girlfriend is doing to do something to her former best friend that will end with my girlfriend going to prison. I don't think she is serious when she says that she will kill her, but I honestly can't say that I know she isn't. I'm also worried someone else will be raped or sexually assaulted if I don't do anything, and about what could happen to me if I do report it and the police don't believe me. I will be going to therapy, and we will also talk to a lawyer. I feel very anxious about both, but I will do my best to do it anyway.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I'm going to break up with my girlfriend because her best friend sexually assaulted me and I can't tell her

ONGOING

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlcdfx/im_going_to_break_up_with_my_girlfriend_because/

zleein

[removed]

I want to help but not in the situation to help a child suffering from cancer

ONGOING

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zleein/i_want_to_help_but_not_in_the_situation_to_help_a/

zlhdcj

**I am not OOP. OOP deleted her account but was originally** [u/Individual-You352](https://www.reddit.com/u/Individual-You352/). She posted in r/AmItheAsshole. I fixed a few spelling errors. Your daily animal fun fact to prevent web spoilers on mobile, (per the request of u/Formal_Fortune5389, it's about the North American Opossum): opossum's are immune to the venom of honeybees, scorpions and rattlesnakes, and more, and they are also unaffected by toxins such as botulism. They also rarely contract rabies because their body temp is too low. ([Source 1](https://www.havahart.com/opossum-facts), [Source 2](https://www.reconnectwithnature.org/news-events/the-buzz/five-fun-facts-about-opossums/)) **Trigger Warning:** >!verbal abuse, misogyny!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!OOP is a badass but gets harassed!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zb1cxs/aita_for_my_response_when_my_family_asked_me/)**: December 2, 2022** I'm 22f and I come from a "traditional" family. By that I mean every woman in my family had at least on child before they were 20. Education was never a priority and even tho they aren't religious they believe that a woman's only purpose is to have kids and the man is the provider. Because of this I have 4 younger siblings and about a dozen of cousins. Being the oldest I had to be a second mother to my siblings and a babysitter for my cousins. This made me realize I don't want kids at the age of 10. 12 years later and my opinion hasn't changed. I don't like kids and i don't want kids. Last year I had my tubes tied and I didn't tell my family. They're trying to push the idea that I'm nothing and my life in empty without kids on me. I've made my point clear many times but they kept pushing it. Last night we had a big family dinner and they again tried convincing me to have kids so I shut down everything they said in a not so nice way. They were going on and on about how amazing being a mom is and how that's their biggest accomplishment so I reminded them of all the times they complained about having to take care of the kids, all the times the would cuss us out for doing kids things, all the times they would tell us how much they regret having us and how we ruined their lives. I reminded one of my aunts of all the times she would make 10 years old me take care of her 4 kids all under 6 just because she was bored and sick of taking care of them herself. I reminded my dad of all the times he complained about how much money he had to spend on me and my siblings. And of course, I reminded them how they kicked us out at 18 because they don't have to care for us legally speaking. Then I just said something like "all my life you've done nothing but complain about having kids and now you're sitting here telling me how kids are the best thing in the world? You're all hypocrites". Then I told them not to call me until they decide to apologize for bearding *(OP edit- I think she means berating but I'm not 100% sure)* me and I left. They're all very mad at me but my siblings and cousins say I could've make my point without making them feel like bad parents. So AITA? ***Relevant Comments:*** *How did you manage to get your tubes tied at 22?* "My bffs mom is doctor so thankfully I didn't have to deal with all the stupid "are u sure" questions" "I'm not in US but it was my bffs mom that did the procedure so it wasn't hard to convince her since she's know me for over a decade" ***OOP is voted NTA.*** **Update 1: Same Post** UPDATE! My mom showed up at my apartment demanding that I make a formal apology to the family and berated me for my behavior. Then she went about how disappointed she is that she raised "such a selfish excuse of a daughter" then she left. So i sent the following message in the family group chat: "I will not apologize for defending myself and standing my ground. I've put up with y'all for too long and I'm sick of having to justify my choices. I will live the way I see fit because it's my life. This so called family never showed me any love or support. Even as a kid I was just a free babysitter for your kids. I see you will never respect me or my decisions so I don't see a reason for me to stay in contact with you. Do not contact me again. Oh and btw I had my tubes tied a year ago *inserts sike gif* goodbye" then I blocked them all. **Update 2: Same Post, December 3, 2022** Mom showed up at my work because how dare I talk to my family that way and how dare I not give her grandkids. My boss had to call the police to have her removed because she was hysterical. I'm going to stay with my bff for a while. I'm looking for a new apartment and a new job. My landlord was very understanding and she offered to help me move my things into storage before 15 January. My lease end 7 January. She said she won't charge me any rent if i can move out by 15. She's amazing. My boss was also very understanding and offered to help me look for another job. I'm going to see a lawyer tomorrow to get a restraining order against my family members

AITA for my response when my family asked me about kids?

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LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlhdcj/aita_for_my_response_when_my_family_asked_me/

zllo0m

[removed]

ProRevenge - When you refuse to take responsibility, others will force you to do it - and you won't like it

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Hanzoku

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zllo0m/prorevenge_when_you_refuse_to_take_responsibility/

zlq6hn

[removed]

He mistaken me for someone else

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlq6hn/he_mistaken_me_for_someone_else/

zlsvos

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/\[deleted\] in** [r/a](https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/)dultery. I'll edit the post to make it easier to read. Trigger warning: >!cheating!< Mood Spoiler: >!I don't know how to feel...!< Link to the original post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/jfd3kr/i_37_caught_my_wife_43_cheating_two_years_ago_and/). **I \[37\] caught my wife \[43\] cheating two years ago and haven't stopped her. -** 21 October 2020. A few years ago, I was on my lunch break and was out on a drive. I popped by my house and my garage door was open and my wife's car and another car were there. I parked across the street and went in through the garage, which is in our basement, essentially under the bedrooms of our split level house. Literally the second I was in the garage, I could hear the bed in our spare bedroom above me bouncing and muffled sounds that were clearly sex. I stood there, basically in disbelief of what I was hearing, but I wasn't overcome with anger or anything. I very very quietly opened the door into the house and crept up the steps. I could see down the hall from the top of the steps and I could see the shadows of fucking on the wall outside the first bedroom (not my bedroom) in the hallway. Tons of groaning, lots of dirty talk from her, and I snuck back down the steps, through the garage, out to my car, and backed it to a side street and I observed them leave about 15 minutes later. They just walked out in broad daylight. The thing is....our marriage is fucking awesome. Like, totally spot on amazing. We have sex almost every night and we're completely in love. We have 3 kids together and life is damn good. Over the past couple of years, I sporadically pop past the house in the middle of the day and that car is there about 2-3x a month and I am 100% aware of what is happening.....and I'm kinda okay with it! Oh, and I know who the guy is, too. I had a police pal run the plate and it's one of her college boyfriends. He's also married. My plan for now is if she ever finds out I know, I'm just going to tell her I'm fine with it because our marriage is pretty much bang on perfect. If this is what she needs to do to keep the marriage perfect, I'm fine with it and I won't cause any drama to her FWB. What do you all think? Anyone else have this type of situation? Am I a total weirdo? **UPDATE:** What an incredible array of conversations I've had today. I'm so deeply grateful to all of you who chimed in on this situation. I plan to re-read the entire thing today and tomorrow, but I still would deeply value additional insights if you want to add something. The tally of "tell her" vs. "Don't tell her" was bewildering to me. I wasn't nearly expecting such an even split, but I don't really know what I was expecting. You have no idea how much gratitude I have to all of you who took the time to share your thoughts on this. I'm somewhat leaning towards telling her, but only gradually, and there will be an immense "leading with love" approach if I go that route. All day long, I've been moved deeply by surging waves of how much I love her and how much I love our life together. She's incredible and I wake up grateful every single day to be with her, even during the past two years when I have known she was up to this. My overwhelming gratitude to wake up next to her has never wavered, even knowing what I know. I welcome ongoing comments, of course, and will consider future posts if this progresses in a specific direction. **UPDATE 2:** Please do not delete your comments, please! I need to re-read this! **Update 3:** She's in a hilariously great mood tonight. Cooking dinner, sipping wine, chatting away. I've had this wild day in here and she's just like "la di da!" It's adorable and she's so wonderful and sexy. **Update 4:** I have been doom scrolling this reddit for like 17 of the last 24 hours. I'm gonna put my phone away for a bit and have a think about stuff. Update 5: thanks everyone. I will send an update in the coming weeks if this situation changes. I have a few ideas that are gentle and non-invasive in mind. \--- -------- ---- Link to the **update** [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/jwdek0/update_to_i_37_caught_my_wife_43_cheating_two/). **Update to "I \[37\] caught my wife \[43\] cheating two years ago and haven't stopped her."** \- 18 November 2020. Well, woke up at 4 am, so might as well type this out! The last month or so has been a whirlwind for me. First, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the tremendous amounts of supportive messages I received from this sub. There were so many amazing pieces of advice. When I wrote the post, I wasn't sure if I would ever tell her, but a series of events occurred in recent weeks that now have me convinced I made that post in part because i was ready to talk to her about it, but didn't know how until the perfect situation fell into my lap last week. And I have told her. In the weeks after I made my post, I found myself obsessing over clues of their routine. They met up a couple of times on either a Tuesday or a Thursday, always at my house, and always for only about 30-40 minutes. Each time, she sent me a late morning "Hey, how's your day?" text to check that I was firmly ensconced at work. Each time, I ran to my car and drove up a side street to view my house from afar. After watching them go inside, I then would pop over to the house, hear the telltale sounds from the guest bedroom. Once, after they had gone, I snuck into the house to find the laundry machine running and the guest bed re-made with a fresh sheet. I took one of my kids to dance lesson later that day, came home, and that sheet had been put back away in the hall closet. I also found myself watching her phone habits. She's very anti-phone during family time, but I noticed her on her phone between sets when she weight lifts on Sunday nights in our basement. I found this behavior of mine weighing on me. I didn't really care for my voyeuristic behavior. But this past Thursday, a seemingly meant-to-be series of events occurred for a "now or never" opportunity for me to act. I got "the text" at 10:30 or so in the morning. I ran to the car, arrived at my house at 10:45. Most of the time, they get there at 11:00 (my wife goes to work at 6:30 am so she has an early-ish lunch); he arrived at 11:00, but she didn't arrive until 11:05. They went in through garage as normal (left it open as normal, too). I'll be brief here, but I went into the house and came close to getting caught. But they were later than normal and apparently in a huge hurry, and, upon re-entering the house after they'd gone, discovered she had NOT replaced the sheets on the spared bedroom bed and had NOT started the laundry. In the laundry were the sheet, a pair of panties, and a pair of scrubs lab pants and shirt. Almost as if I had no control over the situation, I started the laundry machine, sat down, had coffee, and moved the laundry over to the dryer half an hour later, and then went back to work. I took one of my kids to their dance class that day, got home at like 6:30, and walked in to an absolutely frantic wife. She grabbed hold of my arms, looked at me, was shaking, and said "Did something happen today?" I looked her in the eye, said "Yes, I love you, everything is fine, we will talk about it all a lot, i love you, it's okay, i promise it's okay." I kissed her and we fooled around in the bathroom for a few minutes, then I made dinner, and we helped the kids with homework, bedtime, etc. as normal. When the kids got to bed, we got down to business and talked for about 5 hours Thursday night. It basically started off by her asking me "How much do you know?" I told her a LOT, but not even remotely everything, and also that I wasn't mad at all. She said she had spent every waking moment from getting home and discovering the laundry to the time I walked in feeling almost certain I would walk in and announce I was divorcing her. I assured her that was NOT going to happen. Of course she was rattled. She admitted everything straight away, was very upset obviously, but I got her calmed down and we had some fantastic conversation. We agreed we'd likely need a weekend of privacy and my MIL agreed to take the kids all weekend, which is perfect because the kids just go there and eat Papa Johns and snickers ice cream bars for two days so they love it of course. So the gist of what I found out is this: \-It's been going on since 2005, pre-dating me knowing her by five years. \-They dated in 1996 and didn't have a great relationship but the sex was great. \-They reconnected after he'd been married 3-4 years and began cheating. she was a single AP but he was married. \-She told me she would have been content to do that for years, and did. She dated casually with other people, hooked up with him, became a doctor, did her residency, traveled, had a good life. When she met me ten years ago, I complicated her equation because of how intensely she fell in love with me. She gave me her full self, but continued with him because of what described as "magic hex she couldn't break" regarding their sexual chemistry. \-My kids are 100% mine (I never had any doubt really) and they never had PIV intercourse while we were trying to conceive. \-He and his wife have a great marriage, have sex, and my wife is not saving him from a dead bedroom. \-His wife does not know. \-Their relationship essentially consists of "hey, how's it going? how's life? how are the kids, FUCK ME NOW!, okay see ya next time!" It's not an overly emotional thing. She explained several times that if they were going to have a real relationship, they would have done it long before she and I even met. Obviously there is a lot more that I know than that list, but you get the idea. We also had sex like 10 times this weekend when the kids were gone. I clearly told her I am okay with it if she and he continue; I love her, she has had this thing going for much longer than I've been married to her, it makes her happy, and I love it when she's happy. She was, of course, gobsmacked. I also told her she is free to NOT tell him I know OR to tell him I know and that telling him or not was 100% in her court. She mulled it over, considered it for a day, and decided to tell him. I told her if she wanted to tell him, she could invite him over this past Sunday morning, I would go for a long run, they could talk, then I would go pick up the kids and when returning with the kids, he would be gone. And that's what happened. I got home with the kids in the late morning, she saw them, cried. The kids went to put away to play. My wife is. weightlifter is insanely strong. We frequently do muay thai holds in bed, haha. She could kick the shit out of me in two seconds flat. But she grabbed my head on both sides of my face HARD. And the tears just flowed from both of us instantly. Just GUSHING. She looked me straight in the eye and said "You have to listen to me. I will NEVER leave you. EVER. I LOVE YOU...and you know it." Well, I fucking sobbed like a baby. So she recapped their conversation to me. She started the conversation by telling him to stay calm, everything was fine, but that she felt it pertinent to tell him that I knew everything and had known for a long time. He said okay. She told him that the option was on the table to continue but that at the end of the conversation if he decided he could not trust ME that she was ending it with HIM. He said okay. So she relayed to him what I knew. It was a couple hour long conversation. Sunday afternoon, she checked in with him and he said he was doing fine. He said that he did trust me because if I had an malicious intent towards him, his life as he knew it would have ended long ago. He also sent her a message to relay to me that he does trust me and he hopes that I will trust him as well and know in my heart that he is not coming for what I have. He will never steal my wife away. So he said he trusts me and he asked me to trust him. I said he had a deal. She has been very communicative with me (as she always is) but to a new level. She has expressed relief to me the past couple of days that she feels lighter. She has showed me numerous times in recent days how much she loves me. She is having moments of struggle because this is all still so fresh for her, whereas i've been living with it for years. She's amazed at how I'm fine. I told her I'm fine because we're together and I know she's in this with me. She said yes she is. And that brings us up to date. Phew. **RELEVANT COMMENTS:** From u/.: I’m wondering if the “thrill” of being with her current AP will wear off quickly...I think the sneakiness is part of the thrill for a lot of people. From OP: I considered this. It's certainly possible. They've been "together for almost 16 years, though. I think the thrill would have worn off a long time ago. This is also why I gave her the option to not tell him. Part of the reason I wasn't sure I wanted to tell her is because I love her how she is, flaws and all. If they end, I know she wont leave me, but I do worry about repercussions she goes through, like malaise or depression, from the fallout. Time will tell. She's going through some ups and downs right now. \----------------------------------------------------------- **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I [37] caught my wife [43] cheating two years ago and haven't stopped her.

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girl_in_red_costume

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlsvos/i_37_caught_my_wife_43_cheating_two_years_ago_and/

zltk1r

[removed]

https://www.mlmgateway.com/?refcode=38863260

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stephenanand666

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zltk1r/httpswwwmlmgatewaycomrefcode38863260/

zltnca

Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT's are getting a New Addition, Only 1000 People Can Claim 1000 BAYC NFTS

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Brando_71286874

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zltnca/bored_ape_yacht_club_nfts_are_getting_a_new/

zlurrs

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/\[deleted\] in** r/TrueOffMyChest. Trigger warning: >!stalking!< Mood Spoiler: >!I'm speachless!< Link to the original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xzkx2d/myf26\_husband\_m29\_is\_obsessed\_with\_my\_bossf38\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xzkx2d/myf26_husband_m29_is_obsessed_with_my_bossf38_and/) # My(f26) husband (m29) is obsessed with my boss(f38) and it’s all my fault - 9 October 2022 I started this job about 1,5 years ago. I can’t say what it is because I want us to stay anonymous and our country is very small so my boss would probably be recognized. The moment I started I felt like I was in the right place. My boss, the owner of the company is very cool and kind. She’s self-made and she loves her job. She does lot of the dirty work herself that bosses who has 30-35 employees wouldn’t have to do. But she just loves it. On top of that, we have a 6h work day, our salaries are 20% higher than the market and we have 7 paid vacation weeks a year. Her reasons? She appreciates us and she’s getting richer anyway. I was so proud of working with a woman like her so I wouldn’t shut up talking about her to my husband. Especially in the beginning. My husband was as fascinated by her as I am until he met her in a company party last Christmas. She must’ve been beautiful when she was young. She could’ve been a model. I think his fascination became a crush or an obsession or maybe worse, love. Now he follows her on SM. Her accounts are private but he stalk her with my account. He also follows the company IG and likes every picture she’s in. He asks about her all the time. She’s a very private person but when her divorce from her ex husband was finalized in the beginning of this year we all found out because he started showing up to work. He owned 1/2 her company now and he started to try to make changes in our work hours and salaries. We found out that her husband had cheated on her with a younger girl who he also tried to employ in our company(she still works with us). She (probably lawyers involved) eventually convinced her husband to sell her back his share. We’re still in this process now. My husband has followed all this and he was so sad for her. And so angry. How could anyone do this when they had a woman like her? If it was him he would cherish her, love her, bla bla bla. Who leaves a woman for a girl. I got very angry and told him that all men prefer younger women if they could choose. He laughed at me and told me only losers do that. The last drop was last Friday. We were out for a movie night and we saw my boss with a young man. He looked in his mid 20’s. My husband lost it. “He didn’t know that she dated younger men” he wanted us to go say hello but I refused and yelled at him to control himself because he looked pathetic. When we got home he was frenetically going through her SM. Until he found the guy and he sighed in relief. The guy was her nephew and we didn’t see the whole company but they were out with other family members. My husband was so happy like a weight lifted off his chest. I lost it on him. I started crying and yelling and told him he was in love with her and he was shocked when I pushed and kicked him out of our bedroom. I locked the door. He stood outside trying to calm me down telling me he loved me and I’m his girl and always will be. Then he said something that ruined me even further. “It’s not like someone like her would look my way.” I haven’t slept since then. Why is he feeling like this? Is it love? Infatuation? She’s too old for my husband so what is it? And why would he think he couldn’t have her? He’s very handsome and still young. She should feel lucky a young handsome man likes her. And does he mean I’m less than her to accept him? Or is it purely her money and status? He refuses to admit anything. And what can I do now? I love this job. I love the benefits. Thanks to this job our life has improved and we can afford more than just the necessities. I’m starting to hate my boss though and I hate myself for idolizing her in front of my husband. Edit: sorry this is getting longer. But I have spoken to my mother, sister, granny and some friends about this. And about what happened last Friday and they all think I’m making a big deal out of nothing. ​ Update on the same sub: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zbgbct/i\_just\_found\_out\_that\_my\_husband\_separated\_is/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zbgbct/i_just_found_out_that_my_husband_separated_is/) # I just found out that my husband (separated) is dating my boss. I don't know what to do. -- 3 December 2022 Hi, I'm in so much pain and I don't know what to do. I don't want to do something stupid while hurting. I got a lot of good advice last time I was here so I don't know, maybe you can help me this time too? my old post is linked in my bio. I hope you read it before this one because I don't want to tell the whole story again. I went against my family and friends and asked my husband for separation. I felt like my heart couldn't take it anymore, my intuition told me that my husband wasn't all mine. This was shortly after the event at the movies. My husband was in total confusion. He said that I was making a mistake making a mountain out of a molehill but he moved in with his brother however. We decided to start couples counselling too. It went well the first 3 weeks or so but my husband became more and more reluctant to participate and sometimes he just canceled on me last second. He stopped showing up this month and he also stopped calling and texting me. I was even more heartbroken but it just solidified that my intuition was right and that I was doing the right thing seeing that he is not interested in working on us anymore. I chose not to quit my job. I still loved it with all the heartbreak and I really needed the benefits, like I'm the only one I know who is having a 3 weeks paid vacation around Christmas and new year. I never see my boss anyway and she does't even know of my existence. My husband eventually stopped being active on instagram and I thought it was normal because we were going through adversities uni yesterday when his brother shared my husbands stories of the night. My husband was in a restaurant holding a woman's hand, I could only see her hand. So my husband has just "blocked" me and my family and friends from seeing his updates. I commented WTF? and this morning my husband called me, for the first time in month, totally scared and started begging please don't ruin this for me, please don't ruin this for me. I told him what do you mean? He said don't tell her about us. I never made the connection at first. It never ever crossed my mind even. THAT WOMAN IN THE PICTURE WAS MY BOSS! I started crying and screaming at him. How could you do this to me? How could you tell my that it was all in my head when it's obviously all over your instagram? He said it just happened. I dumped HIM and he was single and just happened to find her on bumble. He begged me not to ruin this for him. She knows he's in the process of divorce but she doesn't know that he already knew who she was or that she was the boss of his stbx. They have been seeing each other for 6 weeks(about 2 weeks after I asked him to move) and it is getting serious. He begged for a good 5 minuets telling me how he hasn't been this happy in all his life and that I shouldn't ruin his happiness since, again, I was the one who ENDED our marriage. I have been crying since this morning. I don't know what to do. I want to ruin him and his "happiness" but I don't know if I have any right to do that AND I'm so worried about losing my job. Please help! Edit for new information: **Ok my husband has been calling me nonstop and I have now answered him. He is panicking about me telling her everything so he begged me to give him the chance to tell her himself. His words were, I never stalked her or creeped on her. I just fell for her and was scared that she would think I was creepy since you thought the same. Give me a chance to tell her the truth in my own pace so at least she doesn't think I'm a liar or a freak like you seem to think. He still swears they matched on bumble (I didn't know what that is until now but it is like tinder?)** **I'm just devastated right now. He has no regards for me and my feelings. Everything he is thinking of is not to scare her away. When I told him this he said that I was the one who left him. People fall out of love and that okay and no one's fault and that I was in the right for ending the relationship but I was the one who ended it all the same. "Don't hurt us and I promise to give you everything you want. She is happy with me so don't hurt us"** Last Update: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zelfmz/i\_just\_found\_out\_that\_my\_husband\_separated\_is/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zelfmz/i_just_found_out_that_my_husband_separated_is/) **I just found out that my husband (separated) is dating my boss. I don't know what to do. Update.** \-- 6 December 2022. Hi (Please see my previous posts because this is just the update). I talked to my boss yesterday (Monday) after lunch. I told her everything. Basically how I was so happy I found this job, how I looked up to her and was proud to be working for someone like her and that this rubbed off on my husband who grew more obsessed with her each day. I apologized for using "obsessed" because I didn't know how things were between them but that it was how I perceived his feelings. I told her about the day at the movie and how it basically made me realize that our issues were greater than I thought. I told her that I know and accept that my marriage is over and that my husband didn't love me anymore and that the reason I'm telling her now isn't to judge or blame her but to let her know the whole story because it's just fair that she knows that he has been following her life for over a year now. "Because from what I understood from my husband, you are under the impression that you just matched with him on a dating app" I said. She was silent the whole time I was talking, just listening to me until I mentioned the dating app and that's when she interrupted me "That's not how we met. He has been a patron at my gym for the past 6 months, maybe year" she said. I know her gym, it's the one across our workplace. She works out there every morning before coming work. I didn't know he had joined it because I knew him to be a member at the gym near our home. He has been, without telling me, working out just across the street from me every morning without telling me. She looked like how I felt, SHOCKED. I apologized and told her that he has kept dating her a secret from me and that he begged me not to talk to her telling me that he hasn't been this happy and so on. She didn't say much, just thanked me for telling her. Today she asked if she could talk to me. She apologized for everything that happened to me and asked if I needed any help, I said no. She thanked me again. When I got home, my husband was there. He had called me att least 50 times but my phone was on silent. He was crying, calling me bitter and vindictive and pathetic. He said I ruined his relationship and future. She is scared of him now and it is all my fault. He wants me to tell her that he is not dangerous nor is he a pervert. He wants me to tell her that I was the one who wanted a divorce and that people fall out and in love and it is nobody's fault and neither is it creepy. He hasn't done anything wrong. He stayed faithful to me and would have stayed that way if I didn't kick him out. He asked me if I ever felt unsafe with him to make rumors about him being a stalker and a creep. I should tell the truth. I asked him to leave and that I'm starting the divorce and from now on he could only contact me once I got a lawyer through them. I have been crying since he left. We haven't seen each other for weeks and he had no feelings what so ever for me. he looked demented and full of sorrow like a broken little boy. How could he change this fast? before we separated he held me and begged me to believe him and his love for me. was it all a lie? my whole entire relationship? good night and thank you for the support. This is a throwaway and I will be deleting it soon. I just thought I would update before doing that. ​ **Reminder: I'm not the original poster.**

OP's husband is obsessed with her boss

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girl_in_red_costume

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlurrs/ops_husband_is_obsessed_with_her_boss/

zlx9cc

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/ThrowRAArmImpant **in** r/relationship_advice trigger warnings: >!reproductive coercion, attempted assault!<   [**Fiancé tried to cut my implant out while I slept**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ijuzmk/fianc%C3%A9_tried_to_cut_my_implant_out_while_i_slept/) \- 31st August 2020 Throwaway account, because I don’t want this attached to my regular account. Anyways, I (25f) have a two year old son from a previous relationship. After I gave birth, I was asked about birth control. I said, “Yes please” and now I have Nexplanon, a birth control that gets inserted into your upper arm. I was told it lasts 3 years. Cut to now, my fiance (27m) told me he wants a baby. I said I did too, (just not now) and that I’d get my Nexplanon out after the three years are up and I won’t replace it. This wasn’t soon enough for him, he wanted me pregnant NOW. I stood firm and said I’m not ready to have another baby, I want to be a little more stabile, money wise and in general. Fiancé was mad and we got into a big argument. I brought up my son and told him my son sees him as a father figure, that we already have a child to take care of while my birth control runs its course. All of a sudden he started shouting at me, saying he wanted a baby that’s biologically his and that every time he looks at my son he gets angry. I asked him why and he told me it’s because he sees my ex in my son. (My son looks a lot like his father.) He then went on to tell me he doesn’t feel like a parental figure to my son, he has no personal attachment to him. He says it’s because my son isn’t biologically his and he resents us for this. Hence, the baby talk. He wanted my arm implant out immediately. I said no way, I’m not ready for another baby yet. We continue to argue about this until I’m finally tired and frustrated, so i say I’m done arguing and just head into our bedroom. An important fact to know is that I take medication to sleep, a pretty strong medication with a high dosage. It knocks me flat on my ass, the Sandman comes and slaps me across the face so I’m down for the count. After the argument, I take my pills and I go to bed. My fiancé was still in the living room when I fell into a deep sleep. Now another important fact, my fiancé knows where my implant is, He’s felt it under my skin, as it’s very noticeable when you’re feeling around for it. I’m sleeping when I stir slightly awake after I felt fingers on my upper arm, prodding. With my eyes still shut, I tell my fiancé to stop poking me. I assumed he was just being petty and childish because of the fight. He doesn’t stop and not five seconds after poking me, he presses down in the exact spot my Nexplanon is. At this point, I’m starting to get more alert and annoyed. I just wanted sleep and I can’t do that when I’m being jabbed. I opened my eyes to see what the hell he’s doing and ask why his finger is pressing directly on my Nexplanon. The minute I opened my eyes, I notice an object in his free hand... a box cutter, which was very close to my upper arm. Now I’m on full alert and I ask him what the fuck he’s doing. He immediately looks guilty and tries to throw excuses at me. “I was just trying to scare you”, “I was checking to make sure you were alive and it’s a coincidence I’m holding the box cutter.“ I called bullshit on every excuse and said I wanted the truth. He looked down then told me he was doing me a favor. What favor? Glad you asked. He was going to remove the Nexplanon from my arm. He said he’s studied how to do it and he’s confident he can safely remove it. He said, “we can start expanding our family now! No need to wait eight months!” I. Am. Livid. I immediately shout at him to get the fuck away from me and don’t touch me. He tries to talk to me, but I keep yelling he needs to leave, he can’t stay at our house right now because he admitted he was trying to cut into my arm, thus breaking my trust. Finally, he walked out of the bedroom and a minute later, I heard the front door open then close. It’s been three hours and he still hasn’t come back and I don’t know what to do when he does. I don’t know where we go from here. I love this man dearly but I don’t think I can forgive and forget this. I don’t know what to do. Advice please? Edit: I called my mother and she said I can stay with her, so I’m taking my son and leaving. I can’t respond to every comment, but just for a few quick questions - he’s never acted like this before. He’s always been so gentle and kind to me and my son. The argument and then the box cutter is completely new. During the fight, i hoped he was just in the heat of the moment and saying shit he doesn’t mean because he’s angry. I was hoping (naively) that he’d be back to sweet/kind the next morning and apologize for the hurtful comments and trying to overstep my boundaries. I honestly didn’t think he’d come at me with a box cutter. A lot of people are saying I should already know what to do, so I guess my “Idk what to do” should really be phrased, “has anyone had anything remotely similar to this happen to them?” I guess I might’ve also wanted reassurance that leaving is the best thing to do instead of waiting for him to come home and trying to talk it out. I love this guy deeply and it’s just hard for me to put both pieces of the puzzle together - the sweet guy I knew and the awful guy I saw tonight.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ikfcj7/update_my_ex_tried_to_cut_my_implant_out_while_i/) \- 1st September 2020 Essentially, my (now ex) fiancé did a complete 180 personality wise. Was so sweet and loving to both me and my son, until we fought about having another baby last night. He said horrible things and I was tired of fighting, so I took my Trazodone and went to bed. Woke up to him touching my arm implant birth control with a box cutter in his hand. Said he was doing me a favor, but I screamed at him to leave. I ended up leaving last night with my son to stay at my mom’s. I was confused, shocked, hurt, scared. I still am... At seven this morning, my phone started buzzing like crazy - texts, calls, voicemails. All were from him, asking me where I went and when I was coming home. I didn’t respond. I just don’t even want to look at him or talk to him again. He called my mom while we were both sitting in the kitchen discussing everything. She asked me if I wanted her to answer it. I said I just didn’t want to talk to him. My mom ended up answering and my ex was yelling, sounding panicky. He said I left with my son last night out of the blue and he’s worried, no mention of our fight. He asked when my mom last heard from me and she lied and said last night. He made a noise over the phone, like an angry sigh and said he was going to keep searching for me, that he’s worried something bad has or will happen to me and my son. When my mom hung up, she pulled me into a hug. I guess I had started crying and didn’t realize it. She was still hugging me when she asked how I wanted to proceed, if I was done with him for good. I said I was and she nodded and told me first thing was to go to the police (like a lot of you said). I didn’t have any proof about the box cutter situation - it would come down to my word versus his. If he had even knicked me a little, I’d have a case against him, but since he technically didn’t hurt me, the detective said he’s seen cases similar to mine thrown out. The officer did bring up ex partes and suggested I get one for both me and my son immediately. I went to the courthouse to get the paperwork filled out. I had to detail as much as I could remember from last night - every word and action. My mom helped me and we got them turned in and moved on to the next step - calling my landlord. I’ve been living in the same house for two years - the first year was a lease and now I pay month to month. Everything is in my name and most of the furniture is mine. I told my landlord what was briefly going on and that I was putting in my thirty day notice (my mom has a guest room that she’s insisting I stay in). After getting off the phone with him, I called the utilities and closed my accounts - water, electric, gas, internet. Next my mother asked me what I wanted to do about my belongings. I told her I don’t want to leave anything that’s mine — all important papers, knickknacks, clothes, furniture, all of it. I just didn’t know where to put it, so my mom suggested a storage unit. Once that was decided, we had to figure out when to start the move. Mom ended up calling my two brothers and they both agreed to help me move, just give them a date and time. I told them definitely sometime this week and my eldest brother suggested a police presence, just in case. Think it’s called a civil standby? Idk, but I agreed. By this point, it’s getting late in the day and I’m as drained as I can get. I just wanted to go curl up with my son and try to sort my thoughts out and calm down. The county clerk ended up calling me, telling me the judge granted my ex partes. She told me that I needed to come pick up paperwork, which had the court date on it. She also mentioned ex-fiance would soon be served and told me I don’t have to see him again until we go to court, to make the ex partes into permanent restraining orders. She suggested lawyering up, but I’m officially burnt out on today. I’ll look into lawyers tomorrow, but tonight, after this update? It’s a cuddle in bed with my son night. A couple things that I’ve seen repeated - why didn’t I leave right when ex started saying those awful things about my son. I honestly thought he didn’t mean them. He’s told my son he loves him before. Part of it was also shock, I guess. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and that I was hearing it from someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn’t think he truly had hatred in his heart and it never crossed my mind that he would hurt me or my son. He’s never even spanked my son. I just thought we needed a cooling off period, so I removed myself from the situation to take my meds and sleep, naively thinking things would be better in the morning. People also questioned why I would even bother sticking around to try to talk things out and that’s a valid question that I don’t have a rational answer to. Part of me thought I was dreaming, I think, and the other part is the side of me that thinks everything equates to being my fault, like I was too mean during the fight, too stubborn to see things his way and try to understand his feelings. Idk. It’s late. Everything feels surreal and I have this pit in my stomach that feels like dread. What if ex shows up at my mom’s house? I still haven’t returned his messages or phone calls and now he legally can’t contact me anyways. I’ve had two of my best friends call, saying ex called them. My younger brother (who I guess has always hated ex but I didn’t know that until today) said even he got a call. So far everyone is saying they don’t know anything, but I’m scared. Idk. I’m sorry. Just thought I’d update. \[UPDATE EDIT\] Update to the update - so many people offered great advice that I’d never think of myself. I’ve been kind of heavily relying on my mom to guide me through this and keep me and my son afloat. I’ve also been given several things to read, which I am absolutely going to when I have some down time. I appreciate every comment, from extremely helpful to well wishes and even the ones questioning the validity of this. To be honest and it’s a horrible cliche, but if it wasn’t happening to me, I probably wouldn’t jump to believing either. Sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and I end up sounding either very clinical in my typing, or very unnecessarily dramatic. So I get the mistrust. My update last night was written late, I was exhausted, but I wanted to let the people from my original post know — I took their advice and got out of there. My emotions have been so conflicting and chaotic, I’m surprised I was able to sound coherent, let alone like a “teenager writing fanfic”. I wish this was a fanfic. I could feel safe again. My mom has been an absolute angel and I’ve shown her some of your comments, complimenting her. And she definitely deserves it! Never once did she make me feel I couldn’t be completely honest with her, she’s reopened her house to me (even though I moved out years ago). She’s really kept the ball rolling on everything with her organization skills. She made a list and yesterday we followed that list to the letter. When I wanted to put stuff off, she’d gently remind me of what could happen if I paused. Ex could find me, hurt me, hurt my son, or anyone helping to protect me. You all are very right and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t realize just how much support I have and what a tremendous family I have. A couple people mentioned to be careful if Ex finds out where I am — and my mom and brothers already had a plan for me. They called it Round Robining - if Ex found me at mom’s, I’d flee to Eldest brother. If he finds me at Eldest brother, I’d temporarily stay with my younger brother. Really, I appreciate you all commenting that I’m doing things right and quick and how impressive it is, but that’s not my doing at all. That’s all on my family. They’re the extraordinary ones (there goes my fanfic cliches again) going above and beyond for me and my son. Some of the comments that questioned my validity remarked that it was odd that I immediately went to Reddit to see what to do/how to feel. You’re all right, that it unusual, but not for me. I grew up when LiveJournal was a big thing, writing helps me organize my thoughts and I figured this community would help me understand... and I was right! Another thing I want to address is Ex’s sudden change. I’m now wondering what to do for that. I don’t want him in my life still. But some of you mentioned a brain tumor or a psychotic break, so I’m worried. I sent Ex’s mother and father a message this morning saying I broke off the engagement and left, but both messages are still unread. I don’t know what to say to them, in regards to Ex’s health. Will they be mad for daring to say this might be a breakdown? Will they actually take him to get tests ran? And if they even tried, would he willingly go? I don’t know. I guess I need a little more advice about how to broach that. There’s more to address and I even had a consultation with a lawyer today, but I can go into that another time. I’m still processing everything. It still doesn’t feel real, it feels like a badly written teenage fanfic, to be honest. Idk. Sorry for rambling again, guys. I just wanted to let you know I’m taking notes from your helpful suggestions, that I’m not ignoring you guys. My mother took my son for ice cream and let me stay behind, which is why I decided to hop on Reddit and check on everything. One last thing, though. The AWARDS, I’m truly humbled and grateful for them. Some of them I had to click on to see what it meant and they’re all so sweet! I’m endlessly thankful for the awards, your comments, and your messages. Thank you! \[UPDATE\] When my ex was served his papers, he did not take it well. I had already blocked him on everything, but he took a picture of his paper and posted it on Facebook, with a message to me and my son. A mutually friend saw it (and that it contained my personal information) and screenshot it to let me know. After taking advice, I called the police to see if it was a break in the ex parte. They made an incident report and told me I could pick it up the next day at the police station. They didn’t arrest him. My mother had already procured me a great lawyer, “A shark, which is what we need” - in her own words. I told my lawyer about the screenshot and he immediately put in, both his appearance on my behalf, and a motion for contempt of court, for breaking the ex parte and threatening me and my son. Our original official court date isn’t until next week, but the Judge got us in early to deal with the screenshot. Ex showed up without a lawyer and I showed up with only my lawyer. Due to COVID, no extra people allowed in the court room. I really wanted my mom there with me, but my lawyer (instead of sitting on the bench at the sides, reserved for lawyers) sat by me, kept himself between me and my ex at all times. A bailiff was there as well, I guess it’s standard procedure to have one in court. My lawyer advised me to let him do all the talking, only answer questions when directed at me and answer them as succinctly as possible. Judge ended up giving Ex a warning, saying if he even mentions me or my son, he’d put him in jail 24 hours for every incident until the official court date. Ex was also ordered to pay my legal fees for the emergency session. Friday, we got mine and my son’s possessions out of the house with massive help from friends and family. I knew Ex had to work Friday and we arrived (with a police officer, just in case) an hour after Ex should’ve been at work. We left anything that he could claim as his or that we’d bought together and I didn’t care about. Most of the items went into two different storage units, from the same place. The reason we chose these storage units is they’re gated and locked at night. The items me or my son would need for everyday use went to my mom’s. Ex’s parents HAVE opened my messages now, but they still haven’t responded. Lawyer said we’re still on for official court date next week and nobody has entered their appearance yet on behalf of Ex, so we’re unsure if he has a lawyer or not. Lawyer told me it’d follow basically the same as the first hearing. It’d be a general hearing, with other people having filed their own ex partes for other people. No extras allowed in the room, face masks required. He’d keep ex away from me. No talking unless answering questions, give succinct answers unless asked to clarify. He’s confident that the ex partes will become permanent restraining orders, but he warned me its not like it is in movies. The restraining orders will go for one year, unless a box is marked saying to re-issue it every year (I marked the box). He also said for every year, Ex has the ability to appeal it and we’d have to go to court all over again. For now, I’m just... trying to keep my head above water. I’m kinda afraid because I’ve had people message me to tell me they’ve seen my post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Some of you sleuths have even found the state I live in. I’m just hoping Ex doesn’t find any of the posts and puts two and two together. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to every comment or message and that this update is late. I’ve just been trying to keep my son’s life as normal as possible. It breaks my heart when he asks when we’re going home or where “Papa” is. He just knows we’re having a long sleepover with his Mimi. He’s loving having pets around, though. We weren’t allowed to have animals at my house, so the fact that my mom has a dog and a couple cats, he’s excited. I’ve warned his daycare about Ex. Most of my family and friends are aware there’s a serious situation, but not details. Idk. It’s been a long week. I’m exhausted. I keep looking over my shoulder and I’ve made my mom buy extra locks for the doors. Some have mentioned cameras for the outside and my mom has already started pricing some. She said her sister (my aunt) has been trying to get her to try RING for months, so this is the kick in the pants she needed. I’m sorry the update is late. Still feels surreal, but I have to just keep swimming (my son is obsessed with Finding Nemo).   [Proof of my Nexplanon implant (details redacted for my personal safety)](https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRAArmImpant/comments/ikw65e/proof_of_my_nexplanon_implant_details_redacted/)   [Proof of my Trazodone that I’ve been on for months. Everyone around me knows I take this for insomnia. I have never hallucinated while on this, nor am I psychotic.](https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRAArmImpant/comments/ikw9cw/proof_of_my_trazodone_that_ive_been_on_for_months/)   [A mutual friend sent me this — she Screenshot this from my Ex’s Snapchat Story. Had to redact the personal identifying info myself.](https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRAArmImpant/comments/ikwfny/a_mutual_friend_sent_me_this_she_screenshot_this/)       **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My Fiancé tried to cut my implant out while I was asleep

REPOST

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlx9cc/my_fiancé_tried_to_cut_my_implant_out_while_i_was/

zlxdq7

***I am NOT the OP, this is a repost!*** **TW**: >!Sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, attempted sexual assault of a minor, child endangerment!< [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yxvluw/my_thanksgiving_is_about_to_be_ruined_and_there/)**, on** r/TrueOffMyChest**, Nov 17th 2022.** **My Thanksgiving is about to be ruined and there is nothing I can do.** ​ My (37M) Wife (36F) is a survivor of sexual assault. This is something that happened to her when she was a teenager. I wont get into details but to say that it has been something she has been trying to overcome since I've known her. Well a few years ago at a family party my step brother tried to force himself on her. He has a traumatic brain injury from drugs and a car crash so he isn't quite all there. He did this in my Father and Step mothers home in their living room in full view of his biological sister. My wife pushed him away and left the room as quickly as she could. She found me and we left the party shortly after. Since then I promised her I would never put her in a position where she would have to be in the same room as this person. I explained this to my dad and he agreed with me, as my step brother has had other incidents like this in the past. Fast forward to this week where a group text between family members indicated my step brother would be attending Thanksgiving at my biological sisters house. I called my dad and reminded him that I promised my wife she wouldn't have to be near this person again and he brushed it off saying its a big house and we could just keep them apart. Literally the first thing my wife asked when she got home from work is; would this person be at thanksgiving. When i said yes but it's a big house and we can keep you apart she told me it wouldn't be a problem because she and our daughter would not be going. Gonna be honest I can't blame her at all and I support her decision. That being said I am in a tough spot of explaining why we are going to pull out of thanksgiving. I called my dad back to explain that we would not be attending and he got very defensive. He told me my wife was being childish and that it's not a big deal. In his defense I have not told him about my wife's past as I didn't want to break confidentiality, but I explained that she has her very justified reason for not wanted to be near someone who has sexually accosted her in the past. Well this turned into a heated argument. My dad doesn't think it's fair that he be put in a position where he has to tell my step mother that her son isn't welcome because then she won't want to go to thanksgiving. I told him that my step brother has a pattern of sexual misconduct with women and that I would not subject my wife to him. There were some more words back and forth but the core of it is They are going to my sisters house for Thanksgiving and it's our choice to attend or not. I feel like I'm in a no win scenario at this point. People are going to ask why we aren't coming and I am honestly not sure I even want to come up with a diplomatic answer. I don't understand why this part of my family chooses to treat this person with a pattern of sexually inappropriate behavior towards women to be near the women in our family, which includes small children who are just getting to their early teens. In the end I have to do what I feel is right regarding the safety and wellbeing of my wife and children. ​ **Comments:** >*"That being said I am in a tough spot of explaining why we are going to pull out of thanksgiving."* > >*You really aren't. He knows exactly why you won't be going. He just doesn't care to be bothered anymore. Fuck him.* > >*"I explained that she has her very justified reason for not wanted to be near someone who has sexually accosted her in the past."* > >*Even if her childhood didn't include SA she's still very justified in not wanting to be anywhere near someone who accosted her in the past. Fuck him.* > >*"I don't understand why this part of my family chooses to treat this person with a pattern of sexually inappropriate behavior towards women to be near the women in our family, which includes small children who are just getting to their early teens."* > >*You should ask them exactly that question. It's probably a snowball effect, the people who should have taken action and dealt with the son didn't want to/didn't think they could. so instead they told his victims to 'get over it, it's not a big deal' and part of them being 'over it' is convincing more people to be okay with it like they are.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yxvluw/comment/iwqwun8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*Who needs to be diplomatic “Insert name previously sexually violated my wife in front of other family members. We will not attend any family event said person is at. Furthermore I would suggest you adopt the same mentality before your wife/daughter is sexually violated” Period.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yxvluw/comment/iwr3wpw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*Be honest with your family when they ask why you aren't going. You don't need to talk about your wife's past in order to justify not wanting to be anywhere near someone with no impulse control and a history of sexual assault.* > >*Taking such a big stand could also prove to the rest of the family that it is a big deal that they should take more seriously and maybe that will help prevent someone else from ever having to experience sexual assault from him.* > >*Most sexual assault occurs between family and friends in part because no one wants to believe it's possible for someone they know and love to do something so horrible.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yxvluw/comment/iwqq490/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*Your first mistake was when your father said it’s a big house and we will keep them separated. Your response should have been, “in that case, we will be unable to attend.” Your wife shouldn’t have had to make that decision.* > >*How are you in a tough spot? If people ask, be honest. You don’t need to sugarcoat anything. Speak the truth. Your wife’s past history is completely irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if it happened once or 1000x before. This is not a situation where he is innocent and she’s projecting onto him. HE actively assaulted her. That is all the justification you need.* > >*Your dad doesn’t have to relay any messages. You can text the group chat that your family will not be in attendance due to step brother’s actions. Your father has made his choice. You can make yours. They know what he has done. They don’t care or think it’s a big deal. You don’t need to further explain or argue. Stand up for your wife. Be on the right side of history.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yxvluw/comment/iwqrp5s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z5cxyy/my_father_and_stepmother_are_protecting_my_step/)**, on** r/TrueOffMyChest, Nov 26th 2022. **My father and stepmother are protecting my step brother who has a pattern of assault towards women** ​ This is an update from my previous post where my wife didn't want to be in the same house for thanksgiving as my step brother who has assaulted her in the past. [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yxvluw/my\_thanksgiving\_is\_about\_to\_be\_ruined\_and\_there/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yxvluw/my_thanksgiving_is_about_to_be_ruined_and_there/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) I am going to try and write this as straightforward as I can but I'm real heated right now so that might not happen. To begin with I want to thank everyone for their comments and support on my last post. We ended up not having Thanksgiving at my Sisters house but ended up at my Wife's cousin's house instead. A lot of people thought I should have never offered "its a big house we can keep you and him apart" as an option to my wife and you all were correct. It was breaking a promise I made to her and I have since addressed this with her and apologized. This morning I called my dad and tried to extend an olive branch after everything we had said the previous week by telling him I just put a new TV in the basement we are finishing and he should come over and watch football tomorrow. He told me that's fine but at some point he, my step mother, my wife, and I need to have an "adult" conversation because feelings were hurt. I didn't really care for the tone he said that but I am a little sensitive at this point. He then goes on to tell me that my step sisters 9 yo daughter recently had an incident with my step brother and while I didn't get all the details it sounds like it lines up with what my wife had experienced. He then tells me that this little girl didn't want to attend thanksgiving either but they told her they would keep her safe and to try and be brave. She ended up going and had a good time. My dad then made it sound like my wife had been more childish than a 9yo girl. The entire time he is telling me this my brain is going thru a level 5 meltdown. I lashed out at him saying that he didn't ask a little girl to be brave he coerced a child into facing a family member that had or attempted to sexually assault her. I told him they are insane and this is going to continue until the absolute worst happens. He told me we should be able to talk about this like adults and I told him he is not acting like an adult. I made it clear that under no circumstances would my family ever be in the same room as this person again full stop. Somehow members of my family think I'm being too harsh and I should stop being so incendiary as its only going to hurt more feelings. It seems like they are only going to give a damn when this guy completes the creepy touchy uncle cliche and actually rapes someone. I'm going to be 100% here and tell you that their feelings mean nothing compared to the safety of my wife and children. I keep being told that I need to sit down and talk to my dad and step mother about this to find a solution. I don't see a solution outside of this guy never comes near my family or I bend and force my family to be near this guy. A lot of people in my last post thought I should just go NC and I would really rather not do that as I do love my dad and step mother. I swear they aren't bad people but are doing some real heinous shit that for some reason they can't perceive as wrong. However after this last bit I'm not so sure anymore. ​ **Comments:** ​ > *You need to call CPS* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z5cxyy/comment/ixvsitq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ > *Call CPS immediately, do not let a child go through that without that bastard getting punished.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z5cxyy/comment/ixvzvy4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*The day will come when he SAs someone who is not family and your Dad and Stepmother will not be able to cover it up and he will end up in a jail cell.* > >*I would point out that if it then comes out that they knew that your stepbrother has a history of assaulting children/women and covered it up, and coerced his victims to me around the guy that could open them up to civil lawsuits which would wipe them out financially. No jury would ever find in their favor.* > >*Frankly, I would do a mass email to your family and rip the Bandaid off the situation. I would point out that stepbrother, , has a history of SA of 2 known victims (1 adult, 1 minor child) and who knows how many more victims there are out there. People need to know that it is not safe to have your daughters or other family members around him.* > >*Now that your Dad told you that he assaulted the 8 year old, I would report the situation to CPS. Not only was the girl assaulted but, according to what your Dad told you, the child was coerced to attend a family function with her assaulter.* > >*The key is to find a way to start getting his behavior on the record with the authorities. Unfortunately, your wife may have to talk about her experience with him.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z5cxyy/comment/ixw5zqh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) >*Your father just rationalized a nine year old getting sexually assaulted but he’s a good person???? Are you fucking kidding me??* > >*I hope that little girl has someone to advocate for her cause everyone in your family is failing her right now.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z5cxyy/comment/ixvvg1r/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*Good people don't set the stage for rapists and child molesters.* > >*I can appreciate that you are familiar with their more redeeming qualities, but to segregate those qualities from their enabling is really nothing more than mental gymnastics. They are facilitating abuse, harassment and assault. Pacifying his victims so that he has easier access and decreasing the risk of consequences (for him, not his victims). Slice it how you like, they have made themselves culpable.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z5cxyy/comment/ixw1dot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ # Friendly reminder that I am NOT the OP, this is a repost.

OOP's father and stepmother are protecting his stepbrother who has a pattern of abuse towards women.

INCONCLUSIVE

swankycelery

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlxdq7/oops_father_and_stepmother_are_protecting_his/

zlyvni

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/jameswifethrowaway **in** r/adultery**.** Trigger warning: >!cheating!< Mood Spoiler: >!Honestly, I'm rooting for OP!< Link to the original post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/sm08pj/anyone_else_like_me/). AP: Affair Partner D-Day: the day the person finds out their partner is cheating. Post 1: **Anyone else like me?** \- 06 February 2022 📷[**🙋‍♀️Question🙋‍♂️**](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/search?q=flair_name%3A%22%F0%9F%99%8B%E2%80%8D%E2%99%80%EF%B8%8FQuestion%F0%9F%99%8B%E2%80%8D%E2%99%82%EF%B8%8F%22&restrict_sr=1) I grew up in a religious family. Religious community. Married my husband young. He was my first and only. Had four kids. Stayed at home to raise them and did an excellent job. I was happy and thought I had a good and solid marriage. The sex was good and frequent. Until I discovered my devoted and loving husband cheated after 20 years. This was four years ago. I stayed. At first I stayed because I loved him and for our family but after learning he was still cheating something in me gradually changed. He still thinks I don't know and is compensating with gifts, getaways and attention. The truth is I don't really care anymore. And the reason I don't care anymore is because I am having an affair of my own. There I said it. The man I am involved with is younger. He is single. I know it's only sex but this man has literally awakened me! I know I am playing with fire and I am the biggest hypocrate alive. But I can't stop myself. After being with one man all my life I am starting to discover parts of me I never knew existed. And I love it! How many of you have affairs and know for a fact your wife or husband does too? [Post 2:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/srd7ou/sunday_is_a_sinners_best_day/) **Sunday is a sinners best day :)** \-- 13 February 2022 I am a wake in the middle of the night and thinking about the day ahead. The bedroom is filled with light snoring from my husband. In five hours we will wake up. He will shower and I will make eggs and coffee for breakfast. We will both eat in silence and scroll our phones. We will talk about going for Sunday mass and agree that we can skip it this Sunday pandemic and all. The noon will be spent gardening (me) and running errands (him). He will come home, change and pack his golfing gear. He goes "golfing" every Sunday my husband. What he really does is see his AP. Ofcourse he does not know that I know that. I told him I would bake peakan pie while he is gone. After he leaves I will go to my APs house. The afternoon will be filled with some bedbreaking activities. I will come home before my husband to start making dinner, spent and deliciously sore. That same evening husband will tell me all about his "golfing" while eating the pie I baked just hours ago last night while he was at his mothers 🍮. Sunday can't come fast enough. Edit: so many of you sent me messages asking how my Sunday went. Well it went according to plan. Almost. The dildo we ordered was too big so we ordered a smaller one. Should arrive just in time for our next meetup (countdown until Friday). But do not worry, we made up for it in spades with some wine and role play. Who knew I go off on being dominant 🤷. [Post 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/ssayu3/secret_credit_card_paypal/): **Secret credit card, paypal??** \-- 14 February 2022 Some advise please. My AP payes for all our fun extracurricilar activities. I would like to pitch in and contribute, equality between the sexes and all, plus I will be sticking it up his bum this Friday so I kind of feel obliged 🤷. Anyways. In my grown up regular life I always pay with my joint credit card. Closest ATM is an hour drive from home so cash is not an option. Any suggestions on how to pay my AP? Paypal? Get a new credit card or is that too risky? Love to hear how you all do it? [Post 4:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/su7hc5/a_tiny_word_of_wisdom_from_a_mom_to_her_daughter/) **A tiny word of wisdom from a mom to her daughter** \-- 16 February 2022 My oldest daughter has been dating a very nice young man for three years now. Last evening on our doggy walk she shared some thoughts on her future plans that involved marriage to this nice young gentleman. She hinted that he will propose to her soon, probably before the summer. She then went on about how proud she was that they are saving themselves for marriage unlike so many young people today that don't value this and that. Horny little devils 👿 I come from a semi religious household and community. So does my husband. We raised our family in the same spirit. Anyway, so I listened to her for the duration of our walk and even if I was not surprised at what she told me, I was quite sad that she was following in my footsteps. Once we reached our front door I could not hold in my thoughts any longer so I told her that she should not entertain the idea of marriage before she has lived with a man, popped a few of his kids and survived raising at least one toddler on a bare minimum wage and had to live through at least two libido droughts. She was laughing at this point but I was on a roll. Then I told her never to buy a car until you took it out for a testdrive and if you don't like the ride, go testdrive some more rides until you find the one that is the right fit for you. I told my daughter that what it all comes down to, marriage is the biggest investment anyone can make in a lifetime. No one is wise enough to make one until they have some good years of adult life under their belt. She was a bit confused and horrified at my response. "But look at you and dad" she told me, "you guys obviously made the right choice when you were young". Oh sweet girl, if you only knew what I would have told my younger self if that was possible. Purpose of this post. Ladies and gents, if your mother (or father) offeres you life wisdom, take it into serious consideration. They might be on to something 🙂. [Post 5:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/swb7by/when_i_take_the_reins/) **When I take the reins** \-- 19 February 2022 WARNING: contains pegging 🤣 For you loyal groupies who read my posts on here know Friday was the THE day my AP's ass got busted (and no, I am not talking about D-day). It was the day my 33 year old AP lost his ass virginity 😁. And it was AMAZING! For both of us! It was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. At first I did not know what to make of it. To say it felt strange looking at my self in the mirror, a married mother of four, strapped around the waste with a black rubber dong hanging down would be an understatement. We both laughed at first and I was even doing my first "helicopter" performance if you know what I mean. But once we got into the lube and groove of it, all I can say OH MY L\*\*D!!! The rush of being in charge of his pleasure and the rush of being in charge overall. To set the pace, to read his response. And above all, the privilege of having him put that trust in me. I have no words to describe the feeling. For the first time in my life I got a sense of what it must be to fuck like a man. And it got me thinking, if I was born a man, who would I be? After the fun was over I just had to do it. Could not help my self! I treated my lover to two doughnuts 🍩🍩🍩🍩. One you eat and one you sit on (if you know what I mean) 🤣. ​ [Post 6:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/sxqw2r/how_to_help_your_so_see_his_ap/) **How to help your SO see his AP** \-- 21 February 2022 For you who follow my posts know my husband has an AP. I have an AP. Differance is I know about his AP. He has no clue about mine. Sunday is hubbies golfing day and by golfing I mean it is his day to fornicate with his AP. And when he goes golfing, I get to see my AP. "Golfing" is his only exuse by the way (you guys diversify!!). Saturday evening we watch the news and GASP heavy rain is predicted in our area. I see hubby is not happy. Heavy rain with possible thunder = no "golfing". Enter SULK, SIGH, SULK SULK. Him: "there goes golfing I guess" followed by a loud sigh. I guess he is staying at home. What is a horny for her AP wify to do? The next morning after breakfast I tell him I have a surprise for him. I know he has been working hard lately and needs a day off to relax just on his own. I tell him I have booked him a ticket to see the new Matrix movie that he wanted to see. The nearest theater is at least one hour drive. I calculated that the movie is 2.5 h and add to that at least 2 h drive and 1 h extra so he makes it on time. Oh I also booked it at the far end of the nearest city for good measure (extra driving for him). I see his face light up. He is doing the calculations too. I can feel a pinch of guilt on his part. This nice gesture earns me a hug, puppy eyes of gratitude, kiss and some well chosen words of endearment that would make any wifes heart melt. As I watch hubby drive off, I start bruning rubber to my AP's casa. Three orgasms later I head home to start dinner and I think I must have earnt me the "wife of the year award". Now if my husband ever complains I don't meet his needs I can draw his memory back to a rainy Sunday I made sure his AP gave him a BJ. Every man should have a wife like me 😈. ​ [Post 7:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/ta4uc1/time_to_reflect/) **Time to reflect** \-- 9 March 2022 The past two weeks have been a rollercoaster and I needed some time just to breathe. So I did something I never did before. I booked myself a night at a fancy spa hotel. No hubby. No kids. No pets. No AP. Just me. I made a decision to switch my phone to airplaine mode and not give in to distractions. Treated my self to some pampering, lazed about in the bed and just let my mind wander. Had a glass of wine or two (ok four!). I started thinking about my body and how self conscious I was about my body when I was younger. How I found faults with just about everything except my boobs and my long legs (mainly cause my hubby always compliment those). It dawned on me that I viewed my body through the eyes of my husband and not myself. When I started my affair I wondered what AP thought of my body? Why was he going crazy over a body that was not in it's prime and that had birthed four big kids? Depressing I know. Apart from quick glances after coming out of the shower, have I ever really looked at my body? After finishing off my fourth glass of wine I took off my clothes, walked to the mirror and just stared. I then dragged the blankets from the bed and put them on the floor. I lay there for two hours taking in every part of my body. Every angle. I followed every curve with my gaze. And I started to cry. Tears of joy. To finally have found the courage to look at the body that has sustained me, nurtured me, given me pleasure and four beautiful children. We have gone through a lot my body and I. It never failed me. I saw a body that had the most beautiful curves and smooth skin. And let me tell you about my feet. They are perfect! Beautifully aligned toes, small and smooth. During those two hours I fell in love with myself. In those moments I realized why my AP was crazy about my body. And I also realised something very important. No matter what age, YOU ARE ALWAYS IN YOUR PRIME. In the future it won't matter what my husband or anyone else thinks about my body because I don't need to look at myself through someone elses lense anymore. I am beautiful and I know it now..FINALLY! The next day I got myself a pedi and a pair of expensive pink sandals. My feet are so worth showing off. Oddly I am developing a foot fetish for my own feet now!! 😁 So lady and gents, next time you can spare a few minutes, look at your body and take it all in! Be grateful for it. Love it. It loves you! ​ [Post 8:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/tw0i1x/high_on_life_and_ecstasy_and_lsd/) **High on life... and ecstasy and LSD** \-- 4 April 2022 Two weeks ago an opportunity presented it self and I was able to spend two days and one night with AP. Him being a DJ and a raver suggested we get high and me being the new version of myself thought why the heck not 🤪. Enter two little blue pills and a small peace of paper to lick 🥂. What I experienced was one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking moments of my life. And who better to tell then you my adulterous friends. THE GOOD I don't even know where to begin to describe the most beautiful experience I got to share with my AP. My guard was completely down and my emotions soaring. The honest heart felt conversations, the privilage to listen to the most amazing and genuine man entrust me his deepest thoughts and fears, the hightened sensations him touching my skin and making love. Feeling every inch of him in my body, breathing in his smell and taking in his moans. Deeply looking in his eyes, listening to his heartbeat. Closely watching his tatoos come to life (thanks LSD) and admiering his beautiful body. Being fully present with another being heart, body and soul. This day will forever be engrained in my memory as one of the most beautiful and intimate moments of my life. For the record, I was able to orgasm which I was told is unusual when high on E and LSD and let me tell you. I almost faited 🤩. Oh and one of the funniest things. I went to the bathroom and when I came back AP was deep in a philosophical conversation WITH HIS CAT. 😂😂 Now I know why he named him Socrates. THE BAD It was there nagging me at the back of my head and it just came crashing down. Coming to the realisation that what I shared with my AP that day I will never share with my husband. After his affair came to light years ago things between us changed. I could never pin down what for sure, just that something was missing. And now I know. What I lost in my marriage is the ability to be vulnerable with my husband and that things between us will never be what they once were. This realisation hit me in the shower. This heartwrenching sob erupted out of the blue. I could hardly breathe. My AP didn't question me. It's almost as if he was waiting for this moment. He just rinsed me off, dried me off and held me in his arms. "Let it all out. I got you. You are safe with me" he told me. And I did. In that moment I let out the pain I had been holding since finding out about my husbands affair. I cried and cried before but never like this. That day, the happiest and the saddest day of my life, I came to realise that 1. There are beautiful things in life and beautiful people to share them with. 2. My marriage is no longer serving me or meeting my needs. AFTERMATH I have been feeling down lately. There is a decision to be made. My husband senses something is not right. He keeps randomly hugging and kissing me, doing more things around the house. I just feel numb and am in a bit of a funk. Who knew drugs would have the ability to unlock some hard truths about my life that I was afraid to face. And saddest truth of them all that is about to turn my life upside down. I have fallen out of love with my husband and I don't want to reconsile anymore. [Post 9:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/u1a7wv/my_husbands_ap/) **My husbands AP** \-- 11 April 2022 Is a single younger lady. She has been in my husbands life for five years and counting. One thing I don't understand and I would like some insight into is this... Maybe some of you single APs could answer this one. Ever since they got caught years back she is stalking my social media. Even more crazy is that she has changed her clothing to match mine (I have a particular style). She colored her hair and cut it like mine. Even took on a hobby I am into. It's creepy. Any insight into why she would do this? We have mutual friends. One of them know of the affair. She said AP loves loves loves kids and talks about getting married and starting her own family. But she is close to 40 I think and the clock is ticking. Why is she wasting her prime years on a man that is a cake eater? This situation makes me uneasy. On one hand she is an adult and can make her own choices BUT I must admit this situation makes me angry at my husband. I mean to obviously lie and string her along when he should a) leave me for her or b) let her go. My AP is younger than me and I know I will let him go one day soon so he can find a more suitable woman he can settle down with and have kids of his own. That to me is selfless. But what my husband is doing to his AP is selfish beyond words. I know I know, maybe some of you think I should place anger on her too. I mean she is the other woman. But from a woman to a woman, I feel sorry for her. No man is worth giving up years of your life and live on HOPE. This really made me think if I should let hubby known I know of his affair just to push him off the fence. I mean, I am fine if we divorce. I am fine if we don't. He strung this woman along for years and let me tell you my hubby is both charming and handsome. At least he should grow some balls and make a decision to be with her or let her go. It is obvious she is in love with him. My husband on the other hand... I highly doubt his feelings for her are as strong. Any insight? Advice? This has been nagging me for days now. 🤷 ​ **Reminder: I'm not the original poster.** I'll post the part II asap!

OP starts cheating after finding out that her husband never stopped seeing his affair partner -- Part I

ONGOING

girl_in_red_costume

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlyvni/op_starts_cheating_after_finding_out_that_her/

zlyxal

** I am not OP. Original post by u/diabolicsecrets on r/entitledparents ** [Entitled dad breaks my leg because I continuously blocked his son from scoring](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously) 12/3/22 We had a volleyball tournament, for reference I’m a Middle Blocker, 6’5 and a vert of 70cm. Game starts and everything goes good, eventually entitled dads kid gets subbed in because his team wasn’t scoring, and apparently he’s a star player. I blocked every hit he went for and his dad started to get visibly angry, starting to shout at me and stuff as well. After the game ended we won and I blocked nearly EVERY shot from this guy. The entitled dad came to me asking what my problem is and stuff, I said “sorry man, it’s my job.” He started laughing and stomped on my shin. It’s broken and I’m currently in hospital writing this story and the dad should hopefully end up in jail. Also planning on suing for permanent damages (doctor says I may not be able to play volleyball ever again, and I got a college offer…) [An update with a lot of hope!!!!](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbj7ru/an_update_with_a_lot_of_hope/) Later that evening 12/3/22 So, it seems my friend was recording my volleyball match so I can reflect on what to improve on, and caught everything the guy did. My dad talked with his lawyer friends, and while I can make a post like this, no video is allowed to be published until AFTER the case. I will post the video once the lawyer gives me the clear. In terms of suing, I’m able to sue him for everything I’ve lost because of this, and that since I had video proof I will be able to easily press charges and will win the case. I appreciate all the love and support from you guys. I will keep updating on how the case goes and make sure the lawyer proof reads everything to make sure it won’t impact my case negatively. Thank you everyone and keep tuned. I can’t wait to publish this video. [Another update!! Even more good news!](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbsqj0/another_update_even_more_good_news/) 12/4/22 It’s now business time and the lawyers have started work, they contacted police for footage and such, and were able to identify the man. Currently processing the lawsuit. In Australia I was told it’s much quicker and easier. Thanks for your advice also guys - I have contacted the college which offered a scholarship and now awaiting a reply from them. I will be bedridden for awhile but I’m drinking my milk and eating healthy for a speedy recovery!! My lawyer has informed me that publishing any videos online regarding the situation will be used against me in court, so I hope you guys can wait until after to see the brutal video. I need some rest now, I really appreciate all your guys lovely messages and advice because it’s helping me get through a tough time now. [UPDATE Entitled Dad wants to settle outside of court](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zcjhrq/update_entitled_dad_wants_to_settle_outside_of/) 12/5/22 He has agreed to pay everything, as long as it’s not taken to court. My lawyer told me I can take this to court, he gets a criminal record, goes to jail and will still pay everything, or I can take the high road and just settle this outside of court. I’m thinking about it but I think someone who was ready to ruin my future should have a taste of his own medicine. My shin is actually healing and I had another scan this morning. Doctors are saying recovery is going good and potentially I’ll be able to play again. My hopes are high. The school that I versed has apologised to me and has said they will cooperate to the best of their ability. The son of the entitled dad has since been expelled from school and blacklisted from partner private schools. I want to thank everyone for all the support you guys have given me. It’s really helped especially after the mental toll that I had to put up with after being told volleyball may potentially not be something I can pursue. I’m hoping my recovery is fast and I can jump back into it!!! Thank you to everyone that’s supported me, much love to you all!! [Last Update for awhile Entitled Dad will go to court!](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zdh2o8/last_update_for_awhile_entitled_dad_will_go_to/) 12/6/22 I will be taking entitled dad to court. I can’t say which charges but I’m sure we all know. I’ve decided “taking the high road” isn’t what I should do in this case, what he’s attempted to do to me is disgustingly evil, and I’m sure he’s done OR will do worse to other kids, so in order for him to learn, while protecting the community, a court case is needed. In Australia a court case starts within 6 months. There’s no need for me to regularly update anymore but I will update as stuff progresses, and if anything major happens I’ll make sure to update you guys. Also, I can’t really be descriptive as it may hurt the case, but when the doctor redid the scans he saw my shin wasn’t AS badly injured than initially thought. I will be able to play volleyball again (best news I’ve heard in forever). College got back to me and are happy to delay my scholarship (really good news for me). Not sure how long the court case will take so I don’t really have much to update anymore, but I’ll try to answer as much as possible in the comments. I appreciate all your support, and I hope the case goes as fast and as smooth as possible. After the court case I will have all rights to publish the video so I will definitely post that. Thank you everyone for your love and support!! ETA There have been some comments saying OOP didn't sound Australian and some of the details didn't match up. It is definitely a possibility that the story is fake, but I'm providing some of OOP's comments for context below. First, the fast timeline: I think the first post was on a Sunday. The second was that evening with the next either early Monday morning or later that day. Once it was a business day, I guess his dad was able to consult a lawyer and the EP dad offered to settle. It was a day or two later that he said they were going to go to court. It is a fast timeline, to be sure, but Reddit just says how many days ago a post was, so it's hard to be more accurate. Next, many people are talking about how he doesn't get to decide about criminal charges. I think he was confusing the civil court with criminal sometimes. Again, could be another indicator it's fake. Third, people were mentioning the quick "healing." OOP clarified that it's not healed, but doctor said it was doing better than expected, or maybe less severe. He said in a comment the bone didn't puncture the skin. Finally the university vs college distinction. I did find the comments where OOP says he was going to an American college on scholarship and they were paying to move him there. Additional comments for context below: [OOP](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zey2mc/major_update_court_process_is_complete_case_date/iz90ji3) >Sorry I meant: My shin should recover within 4-7 months, and I'll be back on the court after some physiotherapy!! [Redditor](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zcjhrq/update_entitled_dad_wants_to_settle_outside_of/iywzgfv) >Press charges. People trying to use money to avoid facing full consequences of their actions don't learn. They just throw money at problems rather than reflect on their behavior that caused the problem in the first place. Next time he might hurt someone worse, this is a chance to change that next time. Kinda feel bad for his kid though, unless he also did something. [OOP](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zcjhrq/update_entitled_dad_wants_to_settle_outside_of/iywzxqr) >Well the kid was rude to me but I didn’t include it because it wasn’t relevant. But I agree losing your private school is a bit sad for your crazy dads actions. I’ll definitely take him to court so to protect the community [OOP](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbsqj0/another_update_even_more_good_news/iysy51s) >And also, everyone telling me I’m lying, please just wait until I can publish the video. I wish I was making up some story because the situation I’m in is heartbreaking and potentially my future has been ruined because some dad couldn’t control his fumes. >Some asked why the star player wasn’t starting, to answer: The team has 2 star players. They rotate through subs to make sure both players aren’t tired and risking injury. I should’ve specified this but I was still stressed out in pain while writing. >I’m hoping the university understands my situation and doesn’t withhold my fully paid scholarship, because I’m genuinely really good (not to sound narcissistic) and I definitely had a future in volleyball. >Why was he able to do this to me? Everyone went to locker rooms, I was still on the court, relieved that I was able to carry the game (we were all expecting to lose but my blocks saved us so many times), so I took a moment to take it in and he came up to me. I didn’t expect it or I would’ve held my guard, normally in Australia people don’t do crazy stuff like this. >Again I’m sorry for not specifying as much as I could have. I’m going to rest now knowing that lawyers and police are working. [Reddito](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyrgjcg) >Sorry for a dumb unrelated question. I’m just curious. >As an Australian or any non American for that matter, when you get a sports scholarship to play at an American university, do they help pay to relocate you? [OOP](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyrgjcg) >Yes, they pay for flights, and the place I will live in, which I assume will be a dorm. [Redditor](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyqenzz) >Definitely press charges (which country is this in btw). >Also: wow, when I read the title I thought this was hockey or rugby or some other form of contact sport, but volleyball? That makes the dad doubly insane. >I just feel sad for his kid. Hope he doesn't turn out the same. >And I hope fervently that you regain full control & strength in your leg as soon as possible! [OOP](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyqmlux) >Australia, I got accepted to a US college cause I play really well, so depressing. [Redditor](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyqkz3h) >Sounds like Grevious Bodily Harm. If in Queensland Maximum penalty is 14 Years or Life in Prison depending on if it is proven to be an intentional act. Police will be keen to hear from you. You can get a tax free recognition payment from the Government. Basically a grant because you were a victim. If you win in court you must repay this. >They can also pay for physio and counseling. >Best of luck. >(I'm not a lawyer. I've been through this myself) [OOP](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyqmn85) >In New South Wales. Hope the outcome can be the same. [Redditor](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyr0ozy) >I wouldn't really think being on a college volleyball team is as prestigious as you're making it out to be, but then again maybe volleyball is a bigger deal in the AU than I realize. [OOP](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zbceie/entitled_dad_breaks_my_leg_because_i_continuously/iyr2pw2) >Volleyball is not that popular in Australia. But it is very popular in the US. I got an offer with all my expenses paid off (a full scholarship I think it’s called) because I’m really skilful. My dad got me into volleyball at the young age of 5 and I had natural talent. I’ve been actively playing and practicing since I was 5 year old. That’s 13 years. I had a chance of doing what I enjoyed because some guy couldn’t handle his kid being blocked by me it’s so depressing that I will most likely not be able to enjoy the life I was destined to have. I’m really hoping everyday that I’m strong enough and make a full recovery to the point I can start playing again but at this point doctors are saying it’s unlikely. ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

Entitled dad breaks OOP's leg after volleyball tourney

ONGOING

swtogirl

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlyxal/entitled_dad_breaks_oops_leg_after_volleyball/

zlz7w5

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/just-a-big-brother in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for exposing my parents' favoritism**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qhedvt/aita_for_exposing_my_parents_favoritism/) - 28 October 2021 My parents have always favored my younger brother. I was by no means unloved. But it was blatantly obvious who they cared about more. I worked a part time job to get my first car, but my brother got one as a present. It wasn't new, but was much newer than my car. It was the same with just about anything else, like clothes, video games and cell phones. I'm 18 and am taking a gap year before community college to work a full time job and save money for tuition. But a while back I heard my parents talking about how much they were going to pay for my brother's tuition. I secretly recorded the conversation from around the corner and then came out asking my parents why they were gonna pay for my brother's college, but not mine. They didn't notice my phone was recording and just said that my brother needs more help. I asked how so when I wasn't getting any sort of scholarship, and he likely wouldn't either. Then I asked a few more questions about why things have always been this way. They got mad and my father told me that perhaps it's time I moved out because they are sick of keeping a roof over my head. I pointed out I pay rent. But they didn't care. I left the room and in a fit of rage uploaded the video to two different social medias I have and ranted about how this is how my parents have always been. Well a few hours my parents were pounding at my door. My dad was screaming at me about how I made them look bad. We fought some more and they left the room fuming. My grandparents contacted me later and said they were appalled, then came to visit with a lot of the family the next day. There was a huge family intervention and my parents were made to sit on the couch and look at their feet while being told off. It was then I found out they'd been receiving money for years from my grandparents to help with family expenses. My brother looked like he didn't know what to do. So he sided with the rest of the family and said he's noticed how I'm treated as well. My parents gave me a huge apology that sounded forced. My grandparents have offered that I come live with them soon and will cut off the monthly payments to my parents, my father told me I should have never told the rest of the family and now won't talk to me, and my mother has been crying for days. So I'm starting to wonder if I went to far. So AITA for exposing my parents favoritism? Verdict: NTA   [**Update AITA for exposing my parents' favoritism**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qkqef4/update_aita_for_exposing_my_parents_favoritism/) - 1 November 2021 I decided to go ahead and call my grandparents to accept their offer to move in. During the phone call I asked them why there was monthly payments being sent to my parents. Turns out my parents were living beyond their means for a while because my mother quit her job to be a full time stay at home mom. My grandparents decided to help out by sending them money monthly to help with my parents mortgage and also to set aside some of that money for college savings for both my brother and I that was to be split evenly. Turns out my parents only planned to put that savings towards my brother's college. And that's also how they bought his car as well. So from now on my parents are now on their own financially. Likely my mother will have to go back to work to help my dad keep up the mortgage. I confronted my parents and asked why they've always treated my brother as the favorite. Then asked if there was something I needed to know. Turns out there was...**NOTHING**! Literally nothing! I'm not an affair baby. Not even an unplanned pregnancy! They just liked my brother more! I was mad as hell and we argued a lot before I left the room because I'd had enough. My grandparents showed up on Saturday with a moving truck. My parents were floored when we started bringing in boxes to pack. My father got in our way and I reminded him how he said that I should move out, so I am. My mother cried some more and said that my father was just angry in the moment when he said that, and they had been counting on my rent money to help with my brother's college fund. I asked if that meant he would never have had to pay rent like I did when he turns 18. My father then said that since I was taking a gap year to work, then my rent money could have helped my brother. Which means they never intended for him to get a job while going to college. My grandpa was enraged and confronted my father, saying he raised him better than this. He chewed him out saying he's never been more disappointed in him, and they will no longer receive any more financial support. Then said he'd disown them both if they ever tried to retaliate against me for exposing them. My father backed down and neither he or my mother said another word to me. I had a bit of an awkward conversation with my brother as we said our goodbyes to each other. And that was it. I just got in my car, waved and drove off. I'm now fully moved into my new room at my grandparents' house. It's a little smaller, but nice. And my grandparents are very welcoming. I'm going to keep working hard to move forward from here and I appreciate everyone's support.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for exposing my parents' favoritism

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlz7w5/aita_for_exposing_my_parents_favoritism/

zlz95a

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by now deleted user in r/trueoffmychest. TW - >!cheating, revenge cheating!< [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yu57se/im_leaving_my_husband_for_his_brother/) (13 Nov 22) **I’m leaving my husband for his brother** My husband (27 M) and I (25 F) have been married 3 years. We don’t have any kids together but we had been talking about it and was planning to conceive in the next 5 years. We met through work and shared the same workplace up until around 2 years ago. He had a change in career path and I got promoted. Two months ago he had a work night out and I was invited to go with him. We had a meal and went to a nice bar afterwards in the city. During the meal I noticed him looking at a very pretty woman who looked a bit younger then me. When we got home I asked him about her and he said she was his assistant. I didn’t suspect him of cheating because our relationship was perfect. We have plenty of s*x and we are super comfortable together and if either of us had a problem we would bring it up and discuss it. Ever since the night out he has been constantly away on business and I have been suspicious. I decided to ring his boss a day after he went away on business for a week. His boss told me he was working a few hours away in a big city and his assistant went with him. I messaged my sister and asked if she fancied a girls weekend and as soon as we got there I decided to look at his assistants instagram. She posted a boomerang and tagged her hotel. After a lot of research I found that there were several bars surrounding the hotel but I decided to go to the hotel bar itself. I explained to my sister the situation and she was fully supportive and was annoyed at my husband for going on business alone with his assistant. We stayed at the bar for a few hours and it got to about 2:40 in the morning when he walked in with his assistant under his arm. He then kissed her unaware I was watching. My sister looked so angry and began to storm over. I then grabbed her and took her out of the hotel. We went home the next morning and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted revenge so I was going to message his family about what I saw. I called my friend who is a divorce lawyer and we are trying to sort something out. I decided the best person to message was his brother. He is super attractive and nice and when I told him about it he told me I needed better then him and was basically slating my husband with him. He came round to the house and I’m not gonna go into detail but one thing lead to another and we had the best sex ever. Now I’m going to divorce my husband for his brother. Also you can all hate as much as you want but I think I’m a bad*\ss. [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yujao3/im_leaving_my_husband_for_his_brother_update/) (14 Nov 22) **I’m leaving my husband for his brother UPDATE** Hi all, so I just wanted to come on here and clear a few things up. This update isn’t going to cover a lot of the events and the next update will probably be Friday night/Saturday morning. However I’ve got a lot of hate for things I haven’t really clarified and I just wanted to explain these things. So a lot of you guys are saying I ruined their relationship which isn’t true whatsoever. My husband and his brother are not close and haven’t ever been. They grew up in two different households. My husband has two brothers so his older brother and his younger brother lived with their dad whilst my husband lived with his grandma. Also a lot of you guys are saying I’m using his brother in my emotional state. Me and his brother have discussed what we want and we have decided we only want sex and if we end up catching feelings and in a relationship so be it. The third thing I wanted to point out is that until the divorce is finalised I’m moving in with my mother. Im not going to tell him I’m moving out but he gets back from his business trip Friday morning (hence why my update will be later this week) and when he gets back he’ll find an empty apartment and two envelopes. One envelope will contain the pictures I got from the hotel of them kissing and the other with divorce papers. As soon as the divorce is finalised I will find a place of my own and just focus on myself and maybe go to therapy. The last thing I wanted to say is that I know how bad my actions seem and I look like a horrible person. I do believe I acted out of pettiness and broken heart and I am sorry to anyone who has been hurt by my actions. However I’m grateful for all the support I’ve received. You guys are helping me through this ❤️❤️ [Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yz7u82/im_leaving_my_husband_for_his_brother_update_3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (19 Nov 22) **I’m leaving my husband for his brother UPDATE 3** Hi everyone, first of all I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who waited for this update and I’m sorry for the lateness it been a really dramatic and stressful few days. I’m at my mothers house right now and all of my stuff is here. On Thursday night I put the two envelopes on the counter (one of divorce papers, other of the hotel pictures) and I left a bottle of wine for him. I then packed my stuff and up until Friday night it was really peaceful. However when he got home, my phone started blowing up. I was receiving messages from my husband and his mum calling me a bitch and weak. He rang me and I wasn’t answering so he left a voice mail saying I was a weak slag who can’t handle my husband going out and “exercising”. At this point I was genuinely laughing because I thought it was funny how he was trying to impersonate Andrew tate. I turned my phone off and it’s really important to know that I was home alone as my mum and sister were both at work. I started hearing pounding on the door and I knew it was him. He was thudding his shoulder all up against the door and I felt sick. I called the police and told them my crazy ex husband was trying to break in. By the time they got here he had already left and I’m going to file for a restraining order. I just can’t believe this all happened in one night. I sent his brother round to the house to collect a few things I had forgotten when my husband wasn’t in this morning and he’s just got back. Apparently everything was smashed and there was beer cans everywhere. I’m so glad that I’ve gotten out of this horrible relationship. Also thank you so much for all the support and the people who were messaging me. I also wish the worst to the assholes who messaged me saying they hope I get cancer and die. Thank you ❤️ **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP - I’m leaving my husband for his brother.

INCONCLUSIVE

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlz95a/oop_im_leaving_my_husband_for_his_brother/

zlzcnj

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** [u/jameswifethrowaway](https://www.reddit.com/u/jameswifethrowaway/) **in** [r/adultery](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/)\*\*.\*\* Trigger warning: >!cheating!< Mood Spoiler: >!Honestly, I'm rooting for OP!< AP: Affair Partner D-Day: the day the person finds out their partner is cheating. [Post 10:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/u6aynt/my_lovers_scent_drives_me_wild/) **My lovers scent drives me wild** \-- 18 April 2022 For as long as I can remember I have had a heightened sense of smell. It is one of the reasons why I love having so many plants and flowers in my home. I also love the smell of tee. Not to drink but the smell of dry tee is the best. One of the early red flags that my husband was cheating was through his scent. He just smelled off. It is sp strange to explain. I even washed his clothes trying to wash off that odour and was beginning to think he was sick or something. After his affair got discovered and we started the reconciliation process I could easily sense when he started cheating again by this smell. Isn't that strange? I never told him this so I keep it in my back pocket. No matter how good his OSPEC is, he can't hide guilt 😂😂. My lovers scent drives me absolutely wild. I recall the first time I sensed it. We were driving in his car long before we started anything. It was a hot day and he rolled down his windows and I picked up his scent through the draft. I remember inhaling deep just to memorize his 'male' smell with a mixture of wood and soap. I remember feeling embarrassed and guilty for how turned on I was by him. That short ride I fantasised of him putting his hand on my knee and slowly pulling it higher up my thigh. I masturbated many times recalling that day. Even now I can't wait to hug him just to inhale the smell of his neck. After sex I love putting my head on his cheat and just breath him in while he is still sweaty. I am so in lust I can't even imagine feeling this way again for someone else. If only I could tap his scent into a bottle I would store it and use it to get off when I am in my 80's 🤣🤣. Haha. Now I am a pervert too. 😁 ​ [Post 11:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/u7uz9x/what_i_see_when_i_look_at_you/) **What I see when I look at you** \-- 20 April 2022 My lover asked me a question the other day. What do I see when I look at him? He felt unsure about why a woman like me would be interested in a man like him. His perspective: a man who does not do well in relationships. Who failed to get a higher education. Who lived with his dad until late 20's. Who worked odd jobs here and there without any direction for most of his life. Who prioritised having fun over "real life". A man with no substantial wealth. No wife. No kids. My perspective: my lover is unique in every way, from the way he dresses to the way he lives. Who followes his heart and not the mainstream mass. A kind man who deeply cares for the people he loves. Someone who is not afraid to try and fail. Someone who is passionate about the things he loves. A man that is not afraid to walk away when things don't feel right. My lover is a man that appreciates simple life. That does not worry about the lates phone models or cars. A man who you can count on. A man with integrity. He is by no means rich. But he is wealthy in all the ways that matter. A woman will one day be lucky to call this man hers. That kind of sums it all up! [Post 12:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/uizm3r/i_know_what_i_want_now/) **I know what I want now** \-- 5 May 2022 For the past few months I have been toying with the idea of an open marriage. I read up about it to know that it takes more trust to be open compared to being closed. So that is out of the window for my husband and me. Not that he would agree to it. He is not into sharing. Anyway... But then something very interesting happend. Over the weekend we had a family reunion of sorts. It was the first time my mom and dad were in the same room since their divorce. My dad left my mom for another woman when she hit menopause. My mom has found love again in the most amazing man. My dad is single. As long as I can remember my mom always catered to my dad. She was always going out of her way to make his life comfortable and she invested a great deal into her marriage and family. To say that she was heartbroken when my dad left is an understatement. I noticed that I carried the same dynamic into my marriage. My husbands needs almost always came ahead of mine. I feel like a wife appliance more than an equal partner. And I see how I have contributed to that dynamic 😟. So during this reunion I noticed something funny. My mom, who while she was married to my dad always was on her feet cooking, fetching stuff or whatnot was sitting a lot of the time. Her SO and she would cater to eachother rather equally. Both of them had the time to enjoy talking to family, not just one of them. The way her SO was touching her back, holding her hand and smiling when she was talking, paying attention to her, filling ger glass of wine... The banter between these two 70-80+ year olds was amazing and beautiful to watch. And it hit me. My mom is happy. I think she has found the love of her life at the ripe age of 70. And she found someone who trully sees her and appreciates her. So these two lovebrids have kind of made me change my mind about an open marriage and what I want in a relationship going forward. So here it is. I want a full relationship. Monogamy and all. The thought of sharing my husband does not bother me, but the thought of sharing AP does. Open marriage and sharing is not for me. I want a man who appreciates me for me and not for what I can do for him. And I have sadly came to the realisation that this is not something I want to have with my husband 😟. So my friends, I will stew this over the summer but after the summer and all thr kids out of the nest, I have decided to pull the plug on my marriage. It's scary. Exiting. And everything in between. Now I start getting my ducks in a line... Wish me luck ❤️ [Post 13:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/ukawu3/threesomes/) **threesomes** \-- 7 May 2022 A fantasy of mine! Friday night. A married woman walks into the bar with her AP. They have a glass of wine. They talk. They laugh. They flirt. One table down the woman sees another woman watching them. She is dressed in a sexy black dress. The two woman make eye contact and it's on from there. She walkes up to the sexy woman dressed in black, offers to buy her a drink and asks her to join her AP and her. She does. Two more glasses of wine and three coctails later the party of three leave the bar and take a taxi to AP's house. It turns out the woman has a thing for watching people fuck. She sat on the couch and watched me and AP fuck. Just too bad I never got to fuck her. I always wondered how a womans pussy tasts like 😋. Oh well.. Next time I suppose 🙂 Now how does one go about to make this happend IRL? [Post 14:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/urlizy/bitch_boots_are_staying_on/) **Bitch boots are staying on** \-- 17 May 2022 Before embarking on my affair journey I was a timid creature. Passive even. Since starting my affair I have become more asserive and dare I say dominant. My AP loves this side of me in the bedroom. He told me I must have been a general in my previous life 🤣. Quite frankly I love it too. What I did not anticipate is how this characteristic has manifested itself in my real life. Before the affair, if I wanted my husband to, let say, cut the grass I would frame it like "Sweetheart, when you find time today, would be great if you could cut the grass.Thanks". Since the affair I am way more direct. Like "XXX, I expect you to cut the grass today. Do it before you need to drive the kids to XYZ". Even my husband has noticed my new persona. He told me the other day "You are very bossy lately". 😁 I must say I find this forward cutting the bullship type of communication so liberating. This affairing bussiness is turning me into a brand new woman and I love it 🤩. Anyone relate? Edit: sorry for grammar. On the phone and typing in a hurry. [Post 15:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/v4o1or/things_are_getting_out_of_hand/) **things are getting out of hand** \-- 4 June 2022 I don't know what to make of this. My husband has done a complete flip. He is home more, helps out more around the house, pays interest, compliments me, makes plans for us to spend time. More affectionate. More open sharing his thoughts and feelings. He started speaking to a therapist a few months ago. Last night he asked me to return to MC. No more golfing for him. I think he and AP broke up. This makes it hard for me to see my AP. And I miss him. But don't want to take risks meeting him. But I so desperatly want to just hug him and talk to him. Laugh with him and just let my guard down. To top it all off, two weeks ago he said he needed to be honest and tell me he was finding this whole arrangement hard because he has strong feelings for me. I kinf of frozw and said we needed a breather and take a step back. The last thing I need now is another layer to this situation. But I really really miss him and hope he is doing ok. I find myself faking it around my husband and it is wearing me down. I am making up exuses to get out of the house and for not wanting to have sex. It's hard to fake it all when in my heart of hearts I know I am done with this relationship. No MC in the world will make me change my mind. All the efforts my husband is putting in now are just a little to late for me. This past month I reached one of my financial goals and am one step closer to ending my marriage. I think for my sanity I will need to pull the plug soon. Talked to a few lawyers already and need to go with one. Ugh! I am sitting in my car in my garage and just want out of this situation. When you are done you are DONE. Sorry. Just a bit depressed and needed to vent. [Post 16:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/v69nde/just_fired_my_therapist/) **just fired my therapist** \-- 6 June 2022 Well if things are not complicated enough I just kind of fired my therapist. She has been my safe haven going back five years and has helped me to gradually detach from my husband and put more energy into me. Or so I thought! I used to love her advise but just this past week a light went on in my head... So I told her about my own affair. I thought for sure she would scold the living hell out of me but nope... No critical questions. Just.... Validation? And BOOM I had the realisation this woman was not challenging me. Like at all. She was just validating all the bullshit I bring to her. So yeah! How could I have missed this for 5 years? For 170 dollars an hour I don't need a parrot nodding to whatever I say. I need a therapist that will challenge me, question me, put me on the spot, make me sweat in my seat. If I needed someone to just nodd, not judge and ask follow up question I could just pay for dinner and drinks and confide in a friend. Would have been cheaper! 🤣 Why is it so hard to find a therapist??? [Post 17:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/vne8oy/what_is_love_anyway/) **What is love anyway?** \-- 29 June 2022 'I am in love with you. I love you. This is not healthy for me or for us and I can't do this anymore like this''. The words I have dreaded hearing ever since starting this affairing bussiness with this man. He told me last night that he loves me and called it quits and I am falling apart. I always knew I fell deeply in lust with him. But love? Never dared to go there. But feeling what I feel now I am a fool to think I did not fall for this man. I often think could I do this affair thing with any man I find attractive? Nope. Only him. And he deserves more than being a dirty little secret. He deserves someone without the divorce baggage that will come with me. And I have to be stront to let him go. Tomorrow is the day I will sit my husband down and have the big talk about ending our marriage (wish me luck you guys). [Post 18:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/x1hksx/ducks_were_all_lined_up_and_then/) **Ducks were all lined up and then...** \-- 30 August 2022 For all of you that follow my affair saga know that my husband has/(had?) an AP. After he took his affair underground I started my own. I knew about his affair but he does not know about mine. After some soul searching I realized that I deserved so much more than a cakeeating husband. So I started to make an exit plan that was to be initiated this summer. So at this point I have a brand new apartment lined up (thanks step dad), my bussiness is doing great, my own bank account, credit cards, emergency bag packed etc. All that was left was the "talk". I spent weeks preparing my speach and imagining all the ways it could go. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. But then it all went better than planned 🙂. Three weeks ago, Tuesday morning, my husbands AP showed up at my house to once and for all tell me woman to woman "what kind of man I am married to". She spelled the beans and then some. It did not put my dear husband in a nice light to say the least. She was shocked that I was so calm. I didn't even ask any questions just smiled, frowned and nodded. "You don't have anything to say?" She asked over and over. She thought her confession would make me go nuts. "Nope, I know most of it and it's enough". My husband got the wind of this little stunt and raced home. His face turned white when he saw his AP in front of our house. He got her to leave and then just sat there on the front steps of our house rocking back and forth for like an hour. I think he was the one in shock. I collected some of my things, took my already packed bag and drove off to my moms. That evening my husbad called. He did not have many words just tears. Asked if there was anything to be done to save us? Said that he was "sorry" over and over and over. Asked what he can do to make amends. So I told him to agree to an amicable divorce. No fuss. 50/50 split and some other conditions. He started crying again. And not long after that phone call, the pleading started. He engaged the whole family (his side). Even our church leader. But nope! Not gonna budge. I must admit it is mentally draining but I feel calm and at peace. Just sad that my marriage had to end like this. We really did have it all, my husband and I. I need to learn to put "soon to be ex" next to "husband". ​ [Post 19:](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/xtjz82/the_kids_are_not_ok/) **the kids are not ok** \-- 2 October 2022 I separated from my husband 2 months ago. His AP showed up at our house and it all went to shit after that. One thing that is really bothering me is our kids. Late teens to early 20's. They know my husband had an affair some years back and now thanks to husbands AP's stunt they know the affair went underground. They (hubby included) don't know about my own affair and the role the affair played in my decision to end the marriage. Kids believe my decision to divorce is soly based on my husbands affair. That is partly true but not fully. The issue is that all of my four kids are beyond hurt and dissapointed at their dad. Only one speaks to him. The rest refuse to have anything to do with him. They call him disgusting, a dissapointment, morally corrupt, fuckup and much much more! My husband is beyond sad and remorseful for the ending of our marriage and how the kids treat him. He has lost weight and lookes really bad. And I feel so guilty and such shame for keeping this huge secret from them all (my own affair) . I don't want my kids to hate their dad. They have a right to their feelings but I feel somehow responsible for this fallout. I also feel stuck in the middle between my husband and kids. They all vent their frustrations to me and I feel like such a fake. I know 2 months is a short time to process this life chaning event. But some days I just want to set the record straight and deal with the consequenses. My husband has hurt me so much, but I don't have the heart to see him so broken. But yet I still keep quiet. I feel like a coward. I am a coward. This is so hard. Don't know if I am asking for advice or just venting. Maybe just venting. I am not ready to hear any advice! ❤️ **Comments from OP:** "I know in my heart what is the right thing to do. Covering my own ass vs owning up to my part. I just need to gather my thoughts and do it with at least amount of collateral damage. I need to tell my husband first I suppose but I don't want to have to face questions from him about who my AP is, the extent of our affair and all the details. I know for a fact he will start digging and I just don't want my exAP to suffer. I broke up with him so he does not get dragged trough the drama. My children too would likely want to know who my exAP was. Also I think the knowledge of my own affair will not make our divorce amicable. So if I go this route I open up the pandoras box. If I don't go this route the pandoras box is always gonna be following me like a shaddow threathening to pop up any time." ​ **Reminder: I'm not the original poster.**

OP starts cheating after finding out that her husband never stopped seeing his affair partner -- Part II

ONGOING

girl_in_red_costume

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zlzcnj/op_starts_cheating_after_finding_out_that_her/

zm0ozo

Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT's are getting a New Addition, Only 1000 People Can Claim 1000 BAYC NFTS

CONCLUDED

Dr_Lebrun5412

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zm0ozo/bored_ape_yacht_club_nfts_are_getting_a_new/

zm11l4

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/jokeylean in r/advice** trigger warning: >!self-harm!< ---   [**My friend is planning to cheat on his future partner to see if he feels guilt over cheating**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/z6qcsp/my_friend_is_planning_to_cheat_on_his_future/) - 28 November 2022 My friend (18M) has recently announced to our friend group that he is planning on entering a relationship with a co-worker (18F) and plans to cheat as soon as possible. The only reason he wants to do this "experiment" is to see if he can feel guilt over cheating. He's been acting on this plan for months to form a deep connection with her beforehand to "deepen the blow." Doing so, he discovered her current mental instability and her recent acts of self-harm. We expressed we didn't support him and asked him what will happen when she finds out. He doesn't care if he gets caught or any of the consequences that may happen to his mentally unstable co-worker if he does get caught. I asked him about the situation again to see if he changed his mind about it and he said he is going to commit to the plan. He even brought up a weird Overwatch comparison and said that Moira did unethical experiments on Reaper for the betterment. For reference, Reaper states that he now lives in constant pain because of her weird ass experiments. Regardless, he does admit what he is doing is wrong but still wants to do it. In general, it's just this whole situation is uncomfortable and gives me a shitty feeling. It was only made worse when he started making jokes about her offing herself. I don't know what to do and am unsure how to go about the situation. **Update:** My friend found the post before I took action and read all of your comments. He texted me in the morning asking about it and I confirmed that it was about him. He told me that the post, the comments and our friend group discouraging him made him regret his plans and anything he has done with her to help further it. The only problem is that although he doesn't want to do the experiment, he still wants to be with her for a short time specifically for sex. I told him there is no point in hanging around with her anymore and to disconnect himself from her. He resisted to the idea but eventually agreed to it and asked to stay in our friend group. We as a group refused and decided to cut him off. We told his co-worker about the situation and advised her to tell HR and to move on from him. We also told her that if she needed evidence against him to contact us and welcomed her into our group if she wanted to join us. Thank you all for your advice and for all of your comments that changed my ex-friend's mind. If there is anything I should consider before moving on, please tell me.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My friend is planning to cheat on his future partner to see if he feels guilt over cheating

CONCLUDED

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zm11l4/my_friend_is_planning_to_cheat_on_his_future/

zm3mkl

[removed]

**TIFU By having to take a crap and discovering a cult room.**

INCONCLUSIVE

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zm3mkl/tifu_by_having_to_take_a_crap_and_discovering_a/

zm3tsj

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/mom0000678 in r/amitheasshole** trigger warning: >!gaslighting!< ---   [**AITA for “forcing” my daughter to interact with her aunt**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i5qydq/aita_for_forcing_my_daughter_to_interact_with_her/) - 8 August 2020 My daughter (16f) has been refusing to interact with her aunt(my sister). Aunt, who I’ll call Helen, comes over every Monday and Thursday to bring dinner and catch up with the family. My husband and I enjoy her company and it’s nice to have meals already made for two out of seven days. My daughter, who I’ll call Amy, has been avoiding her aunt like she’s the plague. On Mondays and Thursdays Amy goes to either her friend’s or BF’s house. She leaves at around 10:00am and won’t come home until 10:30. We know that Amy isn’t doing anything bad because she’ll always tell us the night where she’s going, and will always come home before her curfew. I also have a tracker (which she knows about) on her phone so I know where she is. Amy has been doing this since the beginning on July. Recently Helen has noticed that Amy is never home when she’s over. Helen loves Amy and really wants to spend time with her, but Amy refuses. On Thursday, after she came home and Helen left, I asked Amy why she keeps avoiding her Aunt, but then Amy blew up at me. Amy started yelling and crying about how horrible Aunt Helen is to her, and how she always makes Amy feel like crap. Amy also said that Helen is very mentally abusive towards her and is a gaslighter. I got very angry and told Amy that she’s overreacting, that Helen does/says things out of love and that she can’t help it. Amy continued to yell and cry about how “horrible” her aunt is. I told Amy that she was acting like a spoiled brat, and I proceeded to take her phone and all of her electronics away from her. Today I talked to Amy and said that she now has to stay home on Mondays and Thursdays and spend an hour with Aunt Helen. If Amy doesn’t, then she’ll be grounded for two weeks and she won’t have her electronics for that time either. Amy started to cry, probably trying to guilt trip me, and she begged to at least only do this on Mondays. I said no, and I reminded her of her punishment if she refuses to comply. Amy called me an asshole and said things thag really hurt my feelings. I told Helen about this and she thanked me for having my daughter stay home, after all she really does love Amy. My husband said that I went overboard with taking her things away, but believes that Amy is being a brat. So reddit, AITA for forcing my daughter to interact with her aunt? I think that I’m in the right, but I want to see what you all think. Verdict: YTA **Edit:** Amy has told me about some bad things Helen has said/done to her in the past. I understand those things and I’ve talked to Helen about those things. Helen has apologized and wants to make things up with Amy, but Amy has refused. **Edit:** (so I don’t have to respond to every question): When Amy was younger, she’d spend a lot of time over at Helen’s house. Helen is the type of person who says what’s on her mind, and she never holds back. Helen would tell Amy if she’s eating too much/too little, that she looked bad, didn’t look pretty, as well as other things. Amy claims that Helen would force her to eat a lot, even if Amy was uncomfortable. There are other things that Amy refuses to tell me, so all I know is that Helen has made a few comments here and there. I must also add that these comments were made YEARS ago. **Edit:** I really love Amy and I love Helen too. Helen admits to her wrongdoings but Amy is the one who doesn’t want to sit down and accept the apology. **Edit/Update:** I have read almost all of your responses and have looked through as many messages I can. Some of the things sent to me were devastating to say the least, but not as devastating as me realizing what I did to Amy. I fully accept that I am the asshole and there are no excuses to my actions. I apologized to Amy and said that whenever she’s ready to talk she can. I also told her that she doesn’t have to accept my apology. When Amy is ready, I’ll talk to her about Helen. I called Helen this morning and told her to not come over the next few weeks. She asked why but I didn’t give her an answer. I don’t want to confront Helen with anything until Amy feels it’s okay. After all, Amy is the one who suffered the most.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for “forcing” my daughter to interact with her aunt?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zm3tsj/aita_for_forcing_my_daughter_to_interact_with_her/

zm3w4j

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/TheWednesdayEffect in r/TIFU** (OOP deleted their account) **[TIFU By having to take a crap and discovering a cult room.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zbxk3r/tifu_by_having_to_take_a_crap_and_discovering_a/)** I (15M) have lived a pretty comfortable life until now. I live in the suburbs near a big city so there's always been something for me and my siblings to do, I always excelled in school, and have already started getting in contact with some coaches who are interested in me playing at their colleges. My parents are very secretive people, I always assumed that's just how parents were, they'd do everything and anything spontaneously, I never knew about our plans until the day they were meant to come into play. They'd never tell me or my siblings when they were leaving or where they were going--they'd just be out for hours, sometimes coming home at 4 am, they'd bring dozens of friends over, never tell me why or when, and also have parties that'd last hours in the attic where they’d wear white, like…all white, literally every single time, the color scheme was casual white, they also had a weird set of rules that only I had to follow for some reason, only me: I couldn’t wear red, had to pat my head when we passed a graveyard, and couldn’t ever hold my hands behind my head. Along with this, they were legit obsessed with the attic, when we moved into this house (four floors, one attic) I wanted to have more room in there as it had the most space and I could put all of my workout equipment there, but they DEMANDED that I stay on the 2nd floor which eventually turned into a screaming match between the me, my mom, and my step-dad. I caved and moved into the second floor, and to apologize they let me stay at my cousins house in MA for the next two weeks as they moved more and more stuff in. When I came back, the attic door was locked, like, I'm talking paranoid-grandpa-in-apartment-locked locked. I never minded it, after all, it was an attic, and when I asked my mom about it she'd say that she simply used it for storage; odd, but both my grandma and dad had died a few years before and left behind a lot of stuff, so I believed her. I caught glimpses of the inside over the following weeks, it was oddly underdeveloped compared to the second, third, fourth, and first floors, and there was a toilet in the back of it that I could see through the darkness. Fast forward to today; I wake up and have to take a shit, I made the mistake of eating three cheese sandwiches yesterday, whoops. So I check on the second floor, step-dad is in the bathroom, downstairs, sister's in the bathroom. I know that the basement is empty and full of spiders so I refuse to go down there, and the third floor doesn't have a bathroom. I also overheard my mom talking about going upstairs to do something, so I decided to cut my losses and release the hoard in the attic. The place looks pretty normal at first glance, there's a weird amount of paper on the floor that's peeling off and the windows are blocked, but that's it. I go to the bathroom, use the bathroom, and leave, but I notice that's there's almost NOTHING up there despite my mom's claims of it being a storage room, so just to look around for shits and giggles, I open a door which I wouldn't be able to see from the attic stairs (as it is to the left of the door that lets you into the attic) and find a shrine(?) with pictures of my dead dad, grandma, and me on it? It’s nothing Hereditary-level but it’s certainly off putting considering that the thing is surrounded by dolls, theres also a couple of cardboard boxes around the place with literal birds inside of them, I want to say I am kidding, but there are actual fucking birds in them, I know this because on a run through the bronx we went to this Halal market thing or whatever where they packed birds into these boxes with holes in them. This isn’t proof of a cult, I understand, but this coupled with some recent changes has really led me to believe that my parents are going through some weird stuff. Ever since my grandma and dad died, my mom has gotten really deep into faith and has become friends with this priestess based in Cuba. I do not know her name, I have met her, and she does live streams on facebook. Again, something relatively normal until I saw that her photo is on the fucking shrine as well (it’s hard to see, but it’s behind a candle) My parents have also been talking to me about my 16th birthday and have told me that they are going to “mark my head” followed by a laugh which I assumed was always some weird joke. Photos: https://imgur.com/a/xQ6QpmK **[Link dead but thanks to u/kitchen_ace who found them on the Wayback Machine](https://web.archive.org/web/20221204074824/https://imgur.com/a/xQ6QpmK)** On photo one you can see the first set of dolls, the black one (which resembles me) has a white circle carved or painting on it’s forehead, there are rocks with shells for eyes everywhere, and a huge rock in a clear bowl surrounded by a dark brownish liquid that I’m hoping isn’t what I think it is. There is also a pair of handcuffs there?? Photo two shows a ton of vases or something with more dolls. A old bird cage, maracas, bells, and flowers. Photo three shows a literal severed hoof along with deer antlers, a pair of handcuffs, and a photo of me (I turned it upside down, it’s the black square) Photo four shows the shrine and more dolls. I’m genuinely concerned and confused and don’t know how to bring this up to them. TL;DR: Parents were always a bit weird and tried to keep me away from the attic, I had to take a big one and accidentally found a shrine. **TIFU by having to take a crap and discovering a cult room UPDATE + another fuck up.** Dec. 4 2022 Hi folks. I'm sorry that this came in so late, I had a very long talk with my parents and more than a few revelations. You may remember me from [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zbxk3r/tifu_by_having_to_take_a_crap_and_discovering_a/) where I had to take a shit and accidentally discovered a 'cult' room in my attic, [where I found a altar with pictures of my dead dad and grandmother, various other deceased relatives, and lots, and lots, of dolls and animals with some religious stuff plastered all over](https://imgur.com/a/xQ6QpmK). **[Link dead but thanks to u/kitchen_ace who found them on the Wayback Machine](https://web.archive.org/web/20221204074824/https://imgur.com/a/xQ6QpmK)** I got a lot of different responses, like..thousands of responses. Some told me to call CPS and leave the house, some told me that I should straight up just not mention the stuff I found upstairs, and others wanted me to confront my parents. I won't lie, I considered all three of these at one point or another but reasoned out that my parents probably weren't going to sacrifice me to some demonic pagan god or whatever. So just in case, I told a friend that I was gonna be online on COD within the next two hours and that if I wasn't online at that point he should probably come over to my house as my signal might've fucked up (dumb lie, I know), and in the meantime I just went downstairs and asked my mom what the deal was with the shrine upstairs. My mom's a bit stubborn, so she acted confused for a moment, but when I pushed a bit further, she cracked and started talking when I asked questions. She told me that we are catholic, and like many commenters on the post said; as it turns out, they practice a Afro-Cuban religion called [Santería](http://santeriachurch.org) which is essentially a mix of Catholicism and a lot of African beliefs, the altar with all the photos is called a '[Boveda](http://santeriachurch.org/tag/boveda/)' and acts as a 'tunnel' between earth and heaven, she put photos of me there because she thinks that it will let the spirit of my dad and of my grandma protect me. A little weird, but alright, at least it was done with good intentions, I guess? She also said that the dolls act as vessels for Muertos, aka the dead or just spirits in general that watch over us and keep us safe. The pots and vases I found are in the same sense 'vessels' for the Santos or Orishas, more powerful spirits that are usually associated with a certain saint, each and every one watches over their 'children' or a group of people and help them in life with certain things. She gave me a short rundown on what each one is, you can learn more about them [here](http://santeriachurch.org/the-orishas/) and connect them to the ones in the pictures, the rocks with shells on them were my mom's 'Ellegua', a Orisha that manages crossroads. Anyways, eventually I had to bring up the elephant (or bird) in the room and ask about the severed deer(? Goat? Lamb?) And she said it was a thing for a Orisha called 'Ochosi' that has to do with hunting, I think? Then we talked more about the stuff around (thankfully the rock was not covered in blood, just some weird kind of alcohol) and got to the bird thing. Up to that point, I won't lie, I was weirded the absolute fuck out but was oddly intrigued, I hadn't interacted with anyone outside of the core 5 mainstream religions (Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, and Hinduism) before and this was a albeit slightly scary learning experience. But I sort of couldn't help but feel mighty uncomfortable when she told me that the birds were there because they were supposed to be an offering and that yes, she would sacrifice them. It was the first time in forever that I was genuinely scared of my mom, she just casually explained that she would murder and has been murdering animals for years. I think she caught onto what I was getting at and promised that it was only farm animals and that she did it humanely by decapitating them or cutting some artery so they bleed out quickly. Yikes! But again, I wanted to have an open mind, so I cringed in my mind, and asked more questions, most went nowhere but the one that really fucked me up was when I asked how long they've been doing this. 30 years. 30 FUCKING years they've been into this and they never told me about it. My cousins know, my aunts and uncles know, my grandma knew, my dad knew, virtually everyone in my extended family knew except for me. And you know what the worst part is? My mom and dad weren't "introduced" to it or sucked in by someone else, they were the people introducing others. My dad was something called a Santero or Santera or whatever (I cannot spell it for the life of me, my mom used a lot of words I couldn't understand) that acts like a priest or fortune teller, he came over to the United States and met my mom and was the one to get her into Santería, she then introduced it to my grandma who immigrated not too long afterward and they practiced it together. My parents split not too long after I was born and I stayed with my mom most days whilst my dad traveled a lot for his job as a 'salesman', turns out that he was actually hosting things for people and whatnot, which shocked me as growing up, when I'd spend weekends with him, he'd drive me across the east coast to people's houses and let me have play dates with other kids, at first I thought it was cause of his sales job, then when he'd have meetings over and over again with the same people (always young single women 😬) that he was fucking them as he'd always put me and the woman's kid in a room far away from them, but no, just doing rituals. Next I brought up the rules, she said that she didn't want me wearing red because she assumed that like my dad, I was a 'son' of a Orisha named 'Shango/Chango' (as me and my dad according to her 'act like twins') and that Orisha's don't really like when their 'children' wear the color associated with them (Chango's colors here being primarily red with white accents.) The graveyard rule was made because according to her, it keeps spirits from tagging onto you, and the hands behind your head thing was for the same reason. The conversation continued on. She kept the whole thing away from me as she didn't want to make me uncomfortable (but obviously didn't think about how I'd feel if I happened to find out about it whilst looking to take a shit) and that she didn't want to scare me. She used to do her rituals somewhere else in our old house, but after my dad and grandma died (within the same area of 1 year) she felt as if she had to get closer to them somehow, which is why she moved everything into the house. I wasn't comfortable with the sacrifice or the idea that my dad was a secret priest but I found myself tearing up a bit because it obviously fucking sucks to hear that my mom is suffering and that the only way for her to find peace with herself is through this. No matter what she does she's still my mom and I'm not going to hate her or run away or get her in trouble because of something she can't control (how she grieves.) Now the issue with this though is that she was actually going to introduce me to Santería when I turned 16, induct me, and eventually 'mark my head' via making an incision on the crown of my head, and on my tongue. Hm. I'm going to have a talk with her about that sooner or later because I'm not a fan of bodily harm but I do find this very interesting and although I don't believe in it much, I'd like to see what it's all about, it's one of the last things I have left of my dad anyway. So, I patched things up with my mom and step dad, learned about the situation with the stuff in the attic, and it for the most part ended well. I'm not going to report them to anyone but I also am not joining the church of Santeria. Then I realized the sheer, even worse, mega fuck up I made. My dumbass posted this on reddit and it got over 2.9 million views. One of those views came from someone I know who used the information listed (Cuban and Panamanian Mixed-race Afro-Latino who lives in a four floor house with an attic that has a door which is always located a short while from of NYC with a dead dad) to realize who posted this and they ended up messaging a bunch of their friends who are now messaging me asking if I'm going to get possessed or something or if my parents practice voodoo or satanism and asking me if I want them to call the cops. My dumbass, the literal only racial/ethnic minority in my town which is full of moderately conservative christians accidentally exposed that my parents do animal sacrifices and said they were in a cult. TL;DR: Patched things up with my mom and step dad who practice a religion called Santería, found out that my dad was essentially a priest, told them that I don't want to practice it (I might be an agnostic anyway) but stupidly leaked all my info and exposed my family. **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

TIFU By having to take a crap and discovering a cult room.

INCONCLUSIVE

According-To-You6283

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zm3w4j/tifu_by_having_to_take_a_crap_and_discovering_a/

zm5qoi

[removed]

OOP's obese mom is out of touch with reality, taking it out on OOP's sister

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zm5qoi/oops_obese_mom_is_out_of_touch_with_reality/

zm6gul

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/sideb60 **in** r/formula1 mood spoilers: >!frustrating, but eventually positive outcome!< \--------------------------------------- [**F1 Authentics sold me fake Vettel gloves**](https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/comments/x0md09/f1_authentics_sold_me_fake_vettel_gloves/) \- August 28 2022 So, back in October 2021 I bought signed, race-worn Vettel gloves from the Bahrain GP (Seb's first race with Aston Martin) on the F1 Authentics website. It took many, many months (until March 2022) for F1 Authentics to actually deliver the gloves. And in the mean time it turns out that Seb was no longer going to sign any of the memorabilia. So now I'm a few months down the line, still a significant amount out of pocket and now I'm not even getting a signed race piece. To top it off, when the gloves eventually arrived, they've sent some replicas and not the real deal. How do I know this? At Bahrain Seb used a set of gloves with dark/lime green accents and carrying the number 5 on the gloves. From the second race in Imola, the BWT sponsorship meant the design was changed to pink, and the number 5 was dropped. Also, the gloves they sent are way too clean to be race-worn. In my opinion, clearly replicas. The plot thickens, because after many back and forth emails, I actually receive a letter from Mick Krack to assure me of the authenticity of the gloves... except the letter is full of inconsistencies (gloves are NOT signed, also mentions race boots?). Then, around the same time I find someone on ebay who has the Bahrain GP 2021 gloves as well. Except, those ones look like the real deal. So I bought them to compare. In the last picture you can clearly see the difference, and in my opinion F1 Authentics has sent something they falsely claim to be from the Bahrain GP and doesn't even look race-worn. So the purpose of this post is 1) be very wary if you are thinking about ordering from F1 Authentics. I paid a premium for the gloves because I thought something affiliated with the F1 brand is surely trustworthy, and I was wrong. 2) If anyone from Aston Martin or F1 Authentics is reading this, I'd very much like a chat. EDIT: Okay, I didn't quite expect this to get so much traction. I was on the road yesterday so I didn't get a chance to read all the comments. Thanks for all the helpful suggestions! So I already tried contacting Amex last month (July 2022). Unfortunately because the transaction was over 180 days old they couldn't intervene. I could have tried this earlier and been successful, but there was a lot of back and forth trying to fix it in the beginning. I didn't have a twitter account before this, but I've followed your suggestions and contacted Matt Bishop. Tweet is here: [https://twitter.com/greengloves\_V5/status/1564483381643051008](https://twitter.com/greengloves_V5/status/1564483381643051008) I'll post another update if I have some news. UPDATE: So on Wednesday I received a phone call from a guy at Aston Martin. He basically confirmed that all of the race-wear F1 Authentics receives from them is indeed genuine and not a replica. He also told me that the drivers use multiple sets of race-wear per weekend. So F1 Authentics gets a set and the others go to friends/family/team or get kept by Seb. Which explains how a set could look more/less worn than another set. They also confirmed that the pink gloves were indeed not worn in Bahrain, and apologised that there has been some kind of mix up. And since the phone call they've sent me something in the mail (I don't know what yet) to help make up for the mistake. In the meantime they said they would fix the gloves for me and that someone would be in touch shortly. Then on Thursday I receive a call from the Head of Customer Service at F1 Authentics. She was very nice and apologised that I'd been let down by the whole experience and for the length of time it's taken to get any action on this. Together with Aston Martin they are arranging to get me Seb's gloves from the Dutch GP signed at Monza (hopefully with a photo of them being signed). Thanks for helping get this fixed reddit! I'll post a picture when I eventually get the gloves. The gloves I received from F1 Authentics: [https://preview.redd.it/k5bdd1gx0nk91.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=1a8f37ea90f6a5bd41c91da9b8224ce776f94003](https://preview.redd.it/k5bdd1gx0nk91.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=1a8f37ea90f6a5bd41c91da9b8224ce776f94003) Bahrain GP - green gloves: [https://preview.redd.it/9alwezfx0nk91.png?width=2098&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=6da4c66ced406c209b8fddfa9905032ff5d2bcdc](https://preview.redd.it/9alwezfx0nk91.png?width=2098&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=6da4c66ced406c209b8fddfa9905032ff5d2bcdc) Imola GP - pink gloves: [https://preview.redd.it/gufoa8gx0nk91.png?width=2388&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=a1f2777c46c5f87ee096034da98f18e3b93d05b1](https://preview.redd.it/gufoa8gx0nk91.png?width=2388&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=a1f2777c46c5f87ee096034da98f18e3b93d05b1) Letter from Mike Krack: [https://preview.redd.it/cwkexzfx0nk91.png?width=1056&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=1b3f88db22320a7d296421726dfde5c931e0f673](https://preview.redd.it/cwkexzfx0nk91.png?width=1056&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=1b3f88db22320a7d296421726dfde5c931e0f673) Comparison of both sets of gloves: [https://preview.redd.it/9nhat6gx0nk91.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=3cab264641df7f73de606ebeacaf261371e2e585](https://preview.redd.it/9nhat6gx0nk91.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=3cab264641df7f73de606ebeacaf261371e2e585) \--------------------------------------- [**\[UPDATE\] "F1 Authentics sold me fake Vettel gloves"**](https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/comments/ynub2c/update_f1_authentics_sold_me_fake_vettel_gloves/) \- November 6 2022 Hey [r/formula1](https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/)! So you may remember my [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/comments/x0md09/f1_authentics_sold_me_fake_vettel_gloves/) about some memorabilia I purchased from F1 Authentics which didn't exactly match what was worn during the race it was supposedly from. Well, here is the update. First the pictures! old vs new: [https://preview.redd.it/if9yksahscy91.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=9b8947686b417d2d7b197d0ba1125d58a549051b](https://preview.redd.it/if9yksahscy91.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=9b8947686b417d2d7b197d0ba1125d58a549051b) closeup of new gloves: [https://preview.redd.it/kg7in0elscy91.jpg?width=1964&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=b36de01bbb33f4ad31a70754a5206135961ce23f](https://preview.redd.it/kg7in0elscy91.jpg?width=1964&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=b36de01bbb33f4ad31a70754a5206135961ce23f) Studio shot from F1 Authentics: [https://preview.redd.it/umzj83nyscy91.png?width=1526&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=20d582e7f5e866e4ae44a8aa4a9855890c5f74fe](https://preview.redd.it/umzj83nyscy91.png?width=1526&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=20d582e7f5e866e4ae44a8aa4a9855890c5f74fe) Seb signing my gloves: [https://preview.redd.it/cio5ctn1i6y91.jpg?width=3889&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=5e5887fe088e29d11da1193f9cc11cd5b377eb01](https://preview.redd.it/cio5ctn1i6y91.jpg?width=3889&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=5e5887fe088e29d11da1193f9cc11cd5b377eb01) The bonus package AMF1 (Aston Martin Formula 1) sent me: [https://preview.redd.it/ycmottiaj6y91.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=6e96a340c58bb8859174cd8a9fe261667eeecb6e](https://preview.redd.it/ycmottiaj6y91.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=6e96a340c58bb8859174cd8a9fe261667eeecb6e) So it didn't take long for the original post to get the attention of both AMF1 and F1 Authentics. A guy from AMF1 called me a couple of days later and apologised, told me what they supply F1 Authentics *are* genuine used gloves (just not from the Bahrain GP in my case) and told me they'd arrange with F1 Authentics to fix a new pair for me. During the call he told me that the drivers use multiple sets of race-wear per weekend. So it's possible the set they supply to F1 Authentics has only done a handful of laps rather than a full race, which can explain different wear levels between sets. He also asked for my address/size and said he'd put something in the mail for me. A short time later I receive a package containing some merch, which was pretty cool since that was a bonus.  The day after the call from AMF1, I received a call from the head of customer services at F1 Authentics. She also apologised for the mistake and for the length of time it had taken to get a resolution. At the time I was actually attending the Dutch GP, and they managed to arrange for Seb to sign his race gloves from that race for me. Since the drivers leave pretty quickly after the race this actually happened during Monza the following week. They stepped up their level of customer service after the post - I received email updates at every stage of the process: the gloves being signed, the studio shot of the gloves, the gloves being framed etc. The turnaround from being sent to the framer, being received back and then getting delivered was also super fast. Big thanks to the reddit community for helping the original post get noticed and thanks to everyone who messaged me with info/contacts for people at Aston. This definitely wouldn't have been fixed so quickly or as satisfactorily with your help! Overall I'm super happy with the outcome and having now got a pair of genuine signed gloves I can say it's restored some confidence in F1 Authentics. Hopefully they've learned some lessons from this and their customer service will improve in future. \--------------------------------------- My first post to BORU, let me know if there's any issues to the post! **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

F1 Authentics sold me fake Vettel gloves

CONCLUDED

lillypillys

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zm6gul/f1_authentics_sold_me_fake_vettel_gloves/

zmb155

[removed]

OP finds out his mother is racist when he introduces her to his girlfriend

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmb155/op_finds_out_his_mother_is_racist_when_he/

zmdc0i

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/niffedofficeworker](https://www.reddit.com/user/niffedofficeworker/). He posted in r/AmItheAsshole. I changed the letter of the woman to a name to make it easier to read. Your daily fun fact to cover up web mobile spoilers! At the request of u/wannapopcorn, it is about dugongs. (An animal, I'm ashamed to admit, I did not know existed.) Dugongs can live 70+ years and they stand on their tails in shallow water to poke their heads above the surface! ([Source 1](https://oceana.org/marine-life/dugong/), [Source 2](https://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/dugong_facts/237/)) **Trigger Warnings:** >!ableism!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!Justice is served!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zf2twl/aita_for_telling_a_colleague_their_disability_is/)**: December 7, 2022** I (29m) have started a new position at the beginning of November with a decent sized law firm in my city Things have been going great up until this week. The first 3 weeks I have been here I have heard lots of horror stories around a member of the office we will call Jolene. I've heard that the last 2 people that took this position were basically bullied out of the post by Jolene and that anybody who makes any complaints to HR basically get told to put up and shut up for two reasons. Firstly Jolene, despite not being the most popular person in the office, is very good at what she does to the point the company sees her as invaluable and secondly, Jolene is a wheelchair user and is apparently very quick to throw the discrimination card around as soon as something doesn't go her way. Another key point to this tale is that I use a stoma bag and have done since I was a baby. Anyway this week is the first week I have interacted with Jolene as she was on annual leave for my first 3 weeks with the company. I was using the disabled bathroom to empty my bag when I started hearing a loud banging on the door. I said one moment and opened the door to a lady in a wheelchair, the infamous Jolene. I was berated for about 5 minutes things such as "why is a healthy young man using a disabled bathroom I should be ashamed, etc" drawing the attention of everyone in the nearby vicinity before she even let me speak. I eventually got a word in, reminded her that not all disabilities are blatantly obvious and lifted my shirt up to show her my bag. She went bright red and I got on with my day. The next day I go to use the disabled bathroom to find a poster on the door saying "wheelchair users only". I didn't make a huge fuss but happened to mention to the colleague across the table from me "have you seen Jolene's latest stunt". This is the woman who told me to watch out for Jolene initially I go home for the day and return the next to an email saying to report to HR as soon as I clock in. I get in there to be told that I am receiving a verbal warning as my "tittle-tattle" in the office caused a huge bust up between Jolene and my mentor. Jolene was in the office and smirking all the while. I lost my cool and told Jolene that the only reason she is still in a job is because of how long she had been with the business and that she isn't going to bully me out of my position like she had my 2 predecessors. I also told her that I apologise that she has been dealt a bad hand but that it doesn't give her the right to treat people like shit and that she is no longer the only disabled person in the office so she isn't going to keep getting away with her stunts. I then told HR about the bathroom incident and what followed. Eventually Jolene was suspended pending investigation I must admit I felt great on the day but as the week has gone on I can't help but feel guilty. I wanted to teach her a bit of a lesson not put her job at risk in times like we are having (cost of living crisis, etc). So AITA? ***Relevant Comments:*** *About why he feels guilty:* "Just to clarify I wasn't suspended she was. However I am suffering with horrible guilt as the UK is currently in the middle of a real rough time and I wouldn't like to put anybody out of a job ATM regardless of their actions. Life is hard for everyone as it stands I don't want to be responsible for anyone struggling regardless of what was said between us hence the guilty AITA. much love for your comment however ❤️" *Is there a disability key?* "In public places yes. Registered disabled people are given what is known as a radar key which is essentially a skeleton key to access any additional needs/disabled bathroom. I do have said key although in the entirety of my employment with above company the bathroom has been left open anyway." ***OOP is voted NTA*** **Update (same post): December 8, 2022** Update for those that are interested Nothing official has happened but had a chat with HR strictly off the record. Jolene was suspended as we had offsite visitors in on the day meaning that her sign could have been deemed as bringing the company into disrepute which is classed as gross misconduct. I said off the record that I'd be happy to drop the complaint as tbh I don't really want to play the office politics and I'm already over what was said. I also harbour no ill will towards the company as they have been fantastic with me and i cant blame an entire company for the unauthorised actions of one person. However, its being taken out of my hands as the venue director is getting involved which strikes me as a bad sign for Jolene. For those interested they expunged my warning so I have a clean slate again. Whilst nobody is openly celebrating Jolene's departure as would be a bit classless there certainly seems to be a better atmosphere around the office so I guess that's a positive. Just wanted to say thanks for the love and support on this. Just shows what a wholesome group the people here are. Take care all

AITA for telling a colleague their disability is not a free pass to be an asshole and getting them suspended?

ONGOING

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmdc0i/aita_for_telling_a_colleague_their_disability_is/

zmig8g

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** [u/Wildcatb](https://www.reddit.com/user/Wildcatb/) **in** [r/MaliciousCompliance](https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/) ["You should fire us!" "Ok."](https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/xx8c7z/you_should_fire_us_ok/) \- 6 October 2022 My family runs a small trucking company. Depending on where you are in the world, you might call us a P&D company, a Final Mile company, a White Glove company... basically we handle the kind of stuff that you might buy to have delivered to your home or business, that's too big for someone like UPS to deliver, but not big enough for a tractor trailer to haul, and/or stuff that actually needs to be brought into the home and set up, like furniture, appliances, etc. A lot of what we’ve hauled over the years is stuff going to small stores that can’t take delivery by large truck, construction sites where large trucks can’t get in and out, neighborhoods and apartment complexes… we don't work for the people buying the stuff, we work for the people selling or shipping it, but as we tend to see the same business owners a lot, we've developed great relationships with them over the years. We don't get rich, but we've been pretty comfortable over the years. Our one major stressor has been a long-time shipper who has - or rather, had - become increasingly demanding as time went on. Now when I say 'long-time' I mean it. We made our first delivery for them over fifty years ago. Our company has been doing business with them longer than any of their current employees or management staff have been there. There was one point, not too long ago, where the retired guy who came in a few hours a day to sweep our warehouse because he was bored sitting home, literally knew more about this shipper’s systems than their senior field rep who was supposed to be ‘supervising’ our operations. We have been a small, but vital part of their network, for so long that almost no one there really realized how much we did for them. We’ve seen field reps come and go. Some have been great, some have been a little challenging, but most have – once they realized what was going on – largely left us alone to do our jobs. One even called when he took over our area to ask who we were, because his predecessor had no notes on us at all, because they’d never had to visit. We’ve just been (mostly) quietly plugging along, taking care of their customers, in some cases for generations. Well… the latest rep… was a genuinely unpleasant person. He was arrogant, abrasive, casually insulted our employees… honestly it’s not worth getting into the minutiae here. He wasn’t someone we wanted to work with. But I’m able to put on a happy face and get along with about anyone, when needs must, so onward we strode. As I said earlier, the shipper had been getting more and more demanding as time went on. Systems had been getting harder to navigate, inventory had been getting harder to track, phone trees had grown into Banyan nightmares, more and more layers of bureaucracy had been added, and with every change they’d grown less agile, slower, more difficult to deal with. One day the field rep called because he didn’t like how we’d answered an email. Not that we hadn’t answered it, just that he didn’t like the manner in which it had been answered. After decades of dealing with this shipper, being micromanaged to that level was not something that we were interested in. The manager here who was dealing directly with him tried to defuse the situation, but it kept getting worse until the field rep said, “If you aren’t happy with the way things are going, maybe you should just quit.” Oh. Ok then. We started running the numbers, looked at all our other business, decided that we could, indeed, go on without them, and then I called the field rep to have a frank conversation with him. And then I wrote a short, polite, direct letter to our customer of over fifty years telling them that we were firing them. We didn’t just pull the plug. We gave them a full 60 days’ notice, so they’d have time to get something worked out. And… they didn’t. We’ve always been here for them. They’ve never had to worry about it. They had someone they thought was going to be a replacement, but… well… as of today most of their customers in this area haven’t had deliveries in a week. Some, longer than that. Many don’t know when they’ll get their next shipment. That field rep might still have a job when all is said and done… but it’s not our problem anymore. Our phone keeps ringing, people looking for their freight from that shipper. “Sorry, you’ll have to call them…” **UPDATE 11-28-22** Sorry it's been so long, but I kind of wanted to let things settle down before I wrote anything else. For almost a month our office got daily calls from people looking for their orders. A lot of the regular customers had my and my partner's cell numbers, and we got more than a few calls directly. My most recent call was a guy I've known since the early 90s desperately trying to track down a replacement order that just seems to have evaporated. Sorry... can't help... We have picked up enough new business that we're not worried about the future. We did have to let a coupe of people go, but our remaining employees are happier dealing with the new customers, our working hours have settled down, and we just took our first four day Thanksgiving weekend in probably fifteen years. My wife kept saying how weird and wonderful it was to have me home for the entire holiday, and for my part it was the best Thanksgiving I've had in a long, long time. The new company is still struggling to keep up, let alone catch up. We've been told that the old field rep is 'not in a position to be able to treat people like that anymore,' but haven't been told exactly what has happened to them. Their replacement in our region is burning the candle at both ends trying to keep up with his regular work, and get the new company straightened out. One of Old Customer's biggest customers in this area told them that if they wouldn't commit to sitting down at the table with us to try to get us back, they were going to look at taking their business elsewhere. We didn't ask for that, but we said we'd be willing to talk if they came to us. They haven't. The new field rep said he passed on our willingness to talk, but that Higher wanted to stay the new course for now. Their call, and I'm honestly not upset about it. The new field rep sees the problems we've seen, and it seems like Higher does as well. We handled that business here for a long time, and were pretty emotionally wrapped up in it, and we told New Rep that we were sorry to have put him in this position; he said - paraphrasing - 'no, no this is our fault; we put ourselves in this position.' I heard through the grapevine that we were one of over a dozen service providers to quit their network around the same time (in the space of a couple months) and asked New Rep about that. He clarified that it was over a dozen *East of the Mississippi* and that there were "a bunch" more in the Western region. Putting two and two together, we estimate something close to 15% of their providers. That's been a wake-up call to them; hopefully they'll work toward fixing some of the longstanding problems. Like so many things in life, it seems like this was something we should have done a long time ago. I still see a lot of our old contacts, and it's nice to have the time to actually stop and chat with them, instead of being on the run all the time. One of them invited my family to his place in the country next spring, and another wants to get together for lunch next week. This is good. **Reminder - I am not the original poster.** **Marked as concluded as there probably won't be any updates to this post specifically.**

"You should fire us!" "Ok."

CONCLUDED

Skriblos

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmig8g/you_should_fire_us_ok/

zmlau8

[removed]

OOP "TIFU by telling my gf’s three older brothers about how rough their sister likes it"

CONCLUDED

VivaciousVal

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmlau8/oop_tifu_by_telling_my_gfs_three_older_brothers/

zmmf3q

*I am not the OP, this post was originally posted by* [*u/mylifeissofuckedddd*](https://www.reddit.com/user/mylifeissofuckedddd/) *on* [*r/relationship\_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/)*.* Trigger word: >!Infidelity!< *(Does that even require a TW? Aren't, like, 3/4 of our posts here about it?)* # [Original Post (Dec 07, 2022)](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zelti7/i_30m_think_my_fianc%C3%A9es_27f_cousins_34f_child_is/) My fiancée, Sara, and I have been together for 3 years. She’s actually my first serious gf since middle school. I will honestly admit I’ve been a complete piece of shit with women for most of my teens and 20s and pretty much used women. I’m saying all this to explain how promiscuous I was in the past. Sara knows about my past and she’s grown to accept it. We met at work and she hated me because she saw right through me and after pursuing her for close to a year she finally agreed to a date and the rest is history. We’ve been living together for 2 years now and I’ve grown incredibly close to her parents too and she also loves my family. Past 3 years have been the best of my life and I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with her. This weekend her cousin and her family are in town. She’s really close with her cousin Lauren (miracle I haven’t met her yet, I was always busy for one reason or another the few times she’s visited in the last 3 years). So I finally met Lauren and her husband for dinner at Sara’s parents place. She immediately stares at me a bit wide eyed and I can’t help but think she looks familiar. We’re all being introduced to each other and Lauren for the most part seems to be acting normally but she’s still staring at me whenever she can. Sara’s parents then come in with Lauren’s little boy who’s 5yrs old. I’m looking at this kid and Lauren and the only thing I can think of is that this boy looks like a carbon copy of me at his age with some Lauren mixed in. I’m suddenly starting to remember that I took Lauren home from a bar close to 6 years ago. And I also remember convincing her to not use protection after I showed her my blood work. I’m just a sweaty nervous mess for the rest of dinner and I think Lauren realizes from how she looked at me and the boy that maybe I realized too. And an even more fucked up part, I think Lauren was visiting Sara the weekend I took her home. They probably had a girls night out that weekend with their friends and I took Lauren home. So Sara was probably at the same bar that night. Sara asked me if I was ok and just told her I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t go to work yesterday and today and just took sick days. Idk what the fuck to do. Lauren obviously isn’t saying anything. I have no clue if she was married at the time and I don’t want to ask Sara because I don’t want her getting suspicious about me asking. I don’t even know how I feel about possibly being a father (I’m 95% sure this kid is mine, looked NOTHING like the husband). Do I just shut up? I never cheated on Sara obviously but she knows how much of a player I was and it took her a while to get past my number. I don’t know how she’d react if she knows I knocked up her cousin years before knowing her. This is vain and superficial about Sara and I love her to death but she absolutely hates if something is considered “trashy” or “low class”. I honestly think it’s possible she’d leave me if I knocked up her cousin. I can’t lose her, she’s literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. ​ *Mixed responses from the community, that seem a little divided by gender - the overall impression is (without wanting to make any sweeping judgements) that men mostly seemed to advise him to just shut up about it, while some recommended he talk to Lauren first and find out if it actually IS his kid.* *The female first responders seemed more pro coming clean and definitely talking to Sarah first, as keeping it a secret/ talking to Lauren would be a breach of trust that would probably be worse than knocking up an unknown woman years before he met her. Especially since OOP's foremost goal is to keep Sarah:* >"My only goal is keeping Sara. Honestly in my state of mind the last few days I don’t care about anything else" > >"My ideal situation is Sara doesn’t leave me, that’s all that matters and I’ll do anything to make sure she stays. I don’t know how I feel about the kid, he seemed happy with his parents. They live several states away. Sara wants kids in the future, maybe 3-4 years." > >"Searched Sara’s calendar for the kids birthday and the timing works out. Fuck." # [Update Post (Dec 07, 2022)](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zfchwc/update_i_30m_think_my_fianc%C3%A9es_27f_cousins_34f/) After 3 days of staying at home and feeling sick to my stomach with nervousness about this I finally told Sara late last night after my last post. Thank you so much [u/Own-Crew-3394](https://www.reddit.com/u/Own-Crew-3394/) because that post gave me the push to spill my guts. As embarrassing as it is I cried from beginning to end telling Sara and pretty much told her I don’t want to live without her. *\[*[*Here is the link*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zelti7/comment/iz7lvzg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) *to the comment he mentioned.\]* She held my hands in bed and patiently listened about how I recognized Lauren, remembered our night, and how seeing that kid mentally broke me because I saw my future with Sara jeopardized as soon as I saw him. She told me she’s upset I didn’t tell her as soon as we left her parents place and to never keep something like this from her again but she understood I was scared. She said she’s not leaving me because I never betrayed her in the last 3 years we’ve been together and we’ll figure this out too. And she said she’ll reach out to Lauren herself and figure out what’s going on because she’s been with her husband for 10 years now and if she’s my ONS from years ago she definitely cheated. We then had an even more uncomfortable about the type of things I’ve done in my past and wanted to know if there’s any more surprises she needs to be ready for. Said she knows I was promiscuous and a bit of a reckless idiot but we kind of swept everything under the rug when we got together because we both agreed we wanted a fresh start. And after this fiasco that might’ve been a bad idea so she wants to know everything in detail now but we can have that talk another time. I don’t feel great about this but I’ll deal with this hurdle when it comes up. Sara has been home with me trying to get in touch with Lauren since morning and has been getting completely stone walled. Finally Lauren texted her to “please just let it go”. Sara asked her again if they could just have a quick chat or even if text is ok but Lauren insisted to just “let it go please”. I’m guessing Lauren realized I told Sara everything. We don’t know how to proceed from here on out. We’re deciding to just respect her wishes and not pursue this further. Lauren also just changed her response to our wedding invite to a no show. Sara is kind of upset by this but honestly I’m fine with this outcome. We always planned to leave the US in a few years anyway. I got a lot of messages asking me to just shut up and I was honestly ready to go that route but I think the worry was actually physically making me sick. Anyway, thanks everyone for the advice, much appreciated. ​ *Again, very mixed reactions in the comments, which mostly seemed to center around whether OOP had the moral obligation to come clean to the child's father, to find out if he knows he's raising another man's child. A lot of people told him that he absolutely had to tell the father.* *But the comments that most seemed to resonate with OOP (at least, those were the ones he replied to) were the ones that told him not to mess up the kid's life and family:* >Redditor1: \[...\] Now you are thinking about this correctly. What is best for everyone involved. You have competing moral imperatives here: the right of the father to know the truth and the wellbeing of the child (not in the sense you are responsible for the kid, but in the sense that you know your choice will affect the kid). I do not know what is right to do here, but you are not wrong to think that the kid having a better life if you never say anything is a relevant consideration. Does it outweigh the husband's right to know? Not sure. But ignore everyone telling you this is such an obvious decision because the father's right to know is clearly the only relevant factor (and he IS that kid's father, although he would also have the right to stop being so if he found out the truth). The best case scenario for the kid is that no one else ever finds out. Trying to achieve that best case scenario is a reasonable option. > >OOP: Thank you for your post, this is how we’re trying to look at it too. Terrible situation but trying to make our decision with the kid’s best interest in mind. ​ >Redditor2: You will drop a nuclear bomb (and literally life defining moment) on this kid if you ever bring this up to the husband. Don’t listen to any of these posts telling you to do this. It’s beyond selfish and moronic. Infact, it will cause a complete family implosion (and extended family implosion too, Sara’s parents will never look at you the same). > >Last thing you need is to expose all of this over a “hunch” you think this child is yours. Reddit seems really interested in you blowing up multiple families and a kids life over a “hunch”. > >I’m going to break it down for you. > >You DONT know that you’re the father. You are just thinking you might be. In reality, you don’t know that yet. > >This is 100% on Lauren. You did your part, Sara now knows. There’s no secrets between you, and she can use this information how she sees fit. > >Lauren’s relationship with her child is her business. Maybe she feels she needs to find out, maybe she doesn’t. It’s not your “role” to interject. You are NOT this kids dad. You don’t even know him. Reddit is giving you horrendous advice. Don’t take it. > >Can you imagine if you brought this up to her husband, he leaves because he thinks you’re telling the truth, kid is shattered because dad isn’t in his life anymore (not to mention Sara’s family hates you for this), only for it to come out later that you are NOT the father? > >OP, you did the right thing telling Sara. Lauren wants to bury the hatchet, and if Sara wants to do this as well, then let it be. Do not confront anyone over this, you don’t have all the facts (even though you think you do). All you know right now is that Lauren cheated on her husband with you roughly 6 years ago. What you don’t know is if that child is yours. Don’t assume that you do. > >OOP: This is how Sara and I are seeing the situation too. ​ >OOP, *indulging in a bit of wishful thinking*: \[...\] And honestly maybe it’s possible Lauren’s husband knows she strayed and they moved past it and she doesn’t want to revisit. She didn’t really want to talk to us so we don’t know. I’m trying to move past this situation without hurting anyone. ​ >Final words from OOP: I agree the situation is messed up and I would like to know if my partner ever cheated. But the fact of the matter is this will likely destroy an otherwise happy family. Both Lauren and her husband are incredibly successful in their fields and live in an affluent area and can provide the best life for the kid. While Sara and I are still building our careers and about to begin our own lives. > >And people have been asking whether I care about the kid. Yes of course I do, I saw myself when I saw him. But I don’t even know him. I’m ok with not being in his life and if I’m the future he somehow finds out and decides to find me we can deal with it then. But right now I’m fine staying at a distance and seeing him through Facebook pics and starting my life with Sara. Hope that didn’t come off as heartless but I’m truly thinking about what’s best for him. *So, again,* ***I'm NOT OOP*** *- but I'm looking forward to your discussions and finding out where the moral judgement falls in this sub - let sleeping dogs lie and the husband and child live in happy oblivion (until the day someone needs a kidney or does a heritage dna test)? Or implode several families and destroy a child's safe happy childhood, to stop the poor husband from getting cuckolded (OOP was probably not Lauren's first or last rodeo)?* **EDIT: Just because it has come up a couple of times in the comments, here is OOP's explanation re blood work and bc:** >I didn’t pressure her. I requested it and pulled up my phone and showed her my latest blood work. Medical labs email you your results these days. She said she was clean too and that’s it. > >Hugely irresponsible and stupid on my part but I was a different person back then. ​

I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine

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Corfiz74

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zmqucl

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OOP "MIL" posts in AITA about wanting her brother to be invited to her daughter's wedding. Redditors smell BS. OOP "Fiancée" gives an update in JUSTNOMIL.

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cbm984

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zmrgab

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My dad wants us to meet the woman he is seeing at my sister's high school graduation.

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[deleted]

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zmrzpj

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/jackjack6700 **+** u/ThrowRAjackjack6700 **in** r/relationship_advice ​ trigger warnings: >!teen pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage!< mood spoilers: >!overall sad, devastating circumstances for OOP & daughter!<    [**My \[42M\] daughter \[14F\] won't get an abortion**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ds59s0/my_42m_daughter_14f_wont_get_an_abortion/) \- 6th November 2019 I \[42M\] am a single father to my daughter \[14F\]. My wife passed away with excessive bleeding after childbirth, so it's just me and her. She's a fantastic young lady, always on honor roll, really good at basketball, and a social butterfly. She doesn't see too much of me because I work 9-7, but I'm home for dinner and she's started getting really good at cooking something little for both of us. Around Tuesday, I noticed there was something off about her. She was a whole lot quieter than she usually is and there was no chatter during dinner. Right after dinner she went up to her room, even though typically we sit and watch TV together. I figured it was just moody teenage hormones. Except it doesn't stop. Friday I finally take her hands and ask her what was wrong. She looked at me and just burst into tears. She cried more, so I held her until she was ready, and that's when she whispered, "I'm pregnant." I was shocked. Utterly and completely shocked. I kept on hugging her, but my mind had gone blank. I took her upstairs, tucked her into bed. I didn't think asking her about what she planned to do when she was so vulnerable was a good idea, I'd wait until she calmed down a little. Saturday she came down for breakfast and I sat her down and asked her her plans. She said under no circumstances will she abort the baby, it's her baby and she plans to keep it full-term. I then asked about adoption, and she said she didn't want to, that she could care for it. I calmly explained that we were no way financially able to care for a baby, and who would take care of it during the day? I go to work, she goes to school, and my parents, although were a big help in taking care of my daughter when she was younger, are too old to watch a baby. She suggested she start online school, which I refused, saying I don't want her to ruin her life. The thing is, I don't even want to consider adoption. I can't imagine her going through pregnancy, then labor, especially with what happened to her mother. I don't know if high-risk pregnancies are genetic but if she has one, what if I lose her?I told her this, and she asked me if I had no love for my grandchild. But I don't. I don't care at all about the clump of cells in her uterus, I care about her. The girl I raised. I told her today that she had to abort her child. She cried, screamed, begged, telling me to reconsider, telling me that she'd run away. There's no way I'm letting her give birth, she could tear her body apart. And for school, I don't want her to face the stigma and hurt of teen pregnancy. At this point, I see only one way out of this, and that's telling her if she doesn't abort it, I'm kicking her out. It hurts me so much to do this but if she doesn't do one, I'm afraid her life will truly be over. I won't actually, but I'm hoping it'll push her in the right direction. I'm pretty much manipulating her, but how do I get out of this? Where do I go from here? TL;DR: My daughter's pregnant, we can't afford a baby, she doesn't want to give it up or abort it   [**UPDATE - 1**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/dsj4nn/update_my_42m_daughter_14f_wont_get_an_abortion/) \- 6th November 2019 So today she didn't go to school and we went to the local clinic to her checked out. It's been confirmed: she's definitely pregnant, about 13 weeks along. Everything's fine so far, but she's automatically high-risk because she's a teenager. They said she could develop anemia, low blood iron, or blood pressure problems, and on top of that the baby could also be born with disabilities. After the doctor's I took her out for ice cream and then asked her who the father was. I told her I had to know, she had to tell me. She refused, saying she'd raise the baby on her own, without his help. We went home and she went to the bathroom and accidentally left her phone open, so I took it and looked through her messages. According to the ones between her and her friends and her and the guy, he's 15 years old and a friend of a friend. She hadn't told him yet. I wrote down his number and then messaged him on my phone, telling him I was \[daughter's name\] dad, and I needed him to give me his mother's number because of a big problem. I expected something of a fight but the kid messaged it back to me, so I called his mom and I told him my daughter was pregnant, and her son was the father. She asked if I was sure, and I said based off the texts, it didn't seem like she'd had sex with anybody else, but she'd be free to get a paternity test. I said it'd be best if we got together at a coffee shop or something to talk, but she said there'd be no need of that. She said her son would be waiving his parental rights and they were not interested in a co-parenting situation. I asked about child support, and she said her husband would pay it, but her son would not be involved. She asked for me to not tell her about any details of the pregnancy and they don't want to be at any appointments. She hung up before I could say anything else. Now I don't know where I stand. I can't afford a lawyer, and I don't think I can make him get involved either way. I don't entirely trust them to be accommodating in terms of child support considering how short his mother was. Is there a way they could get out of paying it? I don't know enough about their family but if they have money and we don't, what's happening there? My daughter is no closer in getting an abortion or considering adoption, but I'm going to stop peppering her with it now. My sister and her are talking right now at the suggestion of another redditor, and I hope a female influence will work better on her than I am. She's sending a little bit of money, and I think I may be able to set up a therapy appointment for her to talk out her options in a professional way, something my sister and I can do. EDIT: Thank you everyone so much for commenting. I expected maybe a dozen comments and I’ve got hundreds of PM’s. Thank you all so much for your help. I’m not sure what the rules of updating are, but if it’s possible I’ll update as soon as I can.   [**UPDATE - 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/dvyqby/my_42m_daughter_14f_had_a_miscarriage/) \- 14th November 2019 I last posted about a week ago. She decided to keep the baby, but for a while she'd been complaining about cramps and backaches, which we were told by the doctor will be expected and normal. I think they were a whole lot worse than she let on, but she didn't tell me. Around 1:30 AM last night, the bleeding started and we went straight to the hospital, where we were told she had miscarried. They said it was a late miscarriage, which happens after 13 weeks but before 20. As soon as she found out, she lost it. She started screaming at me "are you happy now?" and just cried and cried. She had a D&E (dilation and evacuation) and the doctors kept her to look her over and understand why it happened. They said it was about a weak cervix in which basically as the baby grows and pushes on the cervix, in some women the pressure causes the cervix to open before the baby is born, which can result in an early labor or a second-trimester miscarriage. According to the doctor, most late miscarriages are because of that, and they don't typically check for it during pregnancies which is why it's usually not diagnosed until after the miscarriage happens. The doctors told us her body will recover fairly quickly from it, she'll need some bedrest for some time but she'll be fine. Her emotional state is a whole other problem. She wouldn't let me hold her while she cried and she screamed at me for a while after she woke up from the D&E. She kept on saying how it was my fault and I must be delighted this was happening to her. I told her over and over I was so sorry, I loved her, it was no one's fault, but I may as well have been talking to a wall for all she listened. All night long she cried, wouldn't eat, and couldn't sleep. Today she was a little better and had some lunch, except outside of her room a pregnant woman (not a patient, I think a visitor to the child next door) walked by and she broke down again. Right now she's in an absolutely horrible emotional state. I'm so worried about her, I'm terrified she'll do something to herself, she'll be wounded beyond repair, and she'll probably hate me forever. I can't even begin to think that this was "a blessing in disguise" which is what my sister told me over the phone today. There's no more baby, but there's so little left of her now. How do I help her? EDIT: I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to reply to any comments before it was locked, it’s been a busy day. I just want everyone to know, thanks for taking the time to reply. Therapy is a must, I’ll take a look into cheaper options, I’m thinking of reducing my hours, which may be kind of counter-productive but she needs me. For those saying she may try to get pregnant again, I don’t think she will because of the incompetent cervix issue, meaning if she does she knows it’ll probably end in miscarriage. We’ll be looking into getting that treated as well. For those of you saying this post is fake, trust me, I know how it looks, it seems awfully convenient. I don’t know what to tell you, but that it’s not. I had some time while she slept for a short amount of time which is when I posted. Nobody was picking up at that hour and I had to get advice from somewhere, so thanks, Reddit. This will be my last post and I just want to thank everyone who reached out to me.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My [42M] daughter [14F] won't get an abortion.

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raredontstare

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zmt6w3

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/liberalfilmnerd76 in r/advice** ---   [**I want to start calling my adoptive mom “mom” instead of her name**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/z8b2rr/i_want_to_start_calling_my_adoptive_mom_mom/) - 30 November 2022 My bio parents put me (15m) up for adoption when I was born so I was always in foster homes until I was twelve. I had a teacher Janice (33f) who was my home room teacher. Janice found out about me being a foster kid and how I wished I had a family. Janice had also been a foster kid growing up and so long story short she then became my foster mom and adopted me. Janice is the best mom I could have ever asked for. She has been so unbelievably kind and loving to me and I absolutely adore her. The problem is that I don’t call her mom, I just call her Janice. I want to start calling her mom but have no idea how to without making it awkward. Please help me internet strangers. **Update:** So….. was not expecting this big of a response. Thank all of you for responding and some of the ideas made me really tear up. Anyways this morning I went to Janice and I said “good morning mom” she just looked at me and started crying then came over and hugged me and kissed my forehead. I hugged her back and she said I could call her whatever made me comfortable and that she loves me more than anything. I just replied with “I love you mom”. So yeah hope this update makes someone’s day because it certainly made mine. Have a great day. Also made a typo I’m 15 not 16 lol   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I want to start calling my adoptive mom “mom” instead of her name

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toohottooheavy

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zmtacr

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OOP asked her husband if he still loves her. His answer: You ask some difficult questions.

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[deleted]

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zmv1up

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/2thinkcritically in r/trueoffmychest. [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xuihjx/asked_my_husband_if_he_still_loved_me_his_answer/) (3 Oct 22) **Asked my husband if he still loved me. His answer: You ask some difficult questions** So, as I posted before, I’ve going through a lot at home. I’ve anxiety and my husband doesn’t know how to cope with it. Now, I believe he simply doesn’t want to cope. We visited my doctor together, so he could understand a little bit about the situation (generalized anxiety disorder and depression). Terrible idea. He criticized me all the time, blamed me for not getting better, and at the end said he didn’t believe we could work out anymore. Yes, he said that to my doctor who was trying to make him understand how GAD and Depression are affecting me. At the end, I was crying and he was angry at me and at the doctor. He insisted I took him to a couple’s therapy without his consent. The next day I asked him the question I posted. When he couldn’t answer if he still loved me, I removed my wedding ring and said we were done. I couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t answer this simple question. More than a decade together and that’s how he answered me. He apologized, cried and said he doesn’t love me anymore. My anxiety has destroyed his feelings for me. I’m heart broken, but relieved, because I couldn’t spend my energy on this relationship, when clearly I was the only one fighting for it. At least now, I know it’s over. However I feel lonely, since I will have to fight this mental disorder all by myself (family lives far away). I must get better for my children and I. I cannot move out right now, nor him. We will have two different bedrooms, while sharing the house. We will also talk to a mediator, in order to organize the separation while I’m fighting against GAD and depression. I hope it’s gonna help. We have the kids and they don’t know yet how to tell them. I feel like I failed this family. And I’m afraid I’m will end up getting worse. Tell me how did you cope with all of this, if you went through similar situation in your past. I need some hope. Thanks for reading [Update 1 ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/y6cvzy/update_asked_my_husband_if_he_still_loved_me_his/) (17 Oct 22) **UPDATE - Asked my husband if he still loved me. His answer: You ask some difficult questions** Hello you all. First of all, thanks for the kind messages and PM I received. I cannot thank you guys enough. I just wanna make an update and also vent a little bit. So, after the decision to get separated, things got better at home. I believe that a weight has been removed from our shoulders, so we had almost no arguments. We were being kind to one another and my anxiety got better, as well as my depression. Things were so good that we made the mistake of sleeping together. That gave me lots of hope. Maybe, we would find our way back together. After that, we talked. I told him we could not repeat that. I still have feelings for him, so it would hurt me a lot if the sex meant nothing to him. We had a mediation session and tears were all over. We agreed he would no longer hug me when I left in the morning. The mediator said we had to cut those physical connections to avoid repeating the same mistake. Also, he would clear his office which would become my new bedroom. It was difficult, but we cut off the hugs after a couple days. He, on the other hand, asked for the day off at work. I though it would be to clean the office, but no. Later he told me he has an internal fight. he didn't want the separation (????), but he believed that it was necessary, because we were not happy together. I remind him he is the one who doesn't love me anymore, and that I am unhappy due to my depression. A couple days later we were discussing something and messages kept popping up on my phone. It was a Reddit male friend (call X) who has the same name as a friend (call Z) I have over here. This same day, I would go to a party where Z would be attending. My ex got a bit uncomfortable and asked me if Z and I were flirting. I said no, and explained that the messages were from X, who lives in another country. He was clearly jealous and when I returned from the party, my ex tried to have sex with me, which I denied. The next day, we talked about that and I asked him about his feelings. I ensured him I was not interested in other people. Also, that, once again, we could not have sex if he didn't love me anymore. I asked him if he was unsure about his feelings, but He said he was just horny, nothing else. I felt so disrespected. He knew about my feelings and tried having sex with me because he was horny??????? The next days I kept sending him photos of the new furniture I would need to buy for my new room. I was asking him some advices regarding the size of them. None of them was good: too big, too small, to expensive...After that, I reminded him that he needed to clean the office. I told him that sharing a room was making things difficult for me. So, I asked him if he was having second thoughts, because he was delaying it, plus, he was issues with every suggestion I made regarding the furniture. He didn't even think twice before answering: "Nah, I am being just lazy. You are complicating things." He suggested I could clean it myself. I reminded him that this was his job, and that we had agreed on that during the mediation. Yeah, this super sincere answer hurt, but...Now we are back to arguments. Again, he does not accept my emotions and get angry or rude to me, anytime I say something he doesn't like. Sometimes I feel like he deliberate confuses me, so I don't move on. [Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yayvn4/update_2_asked_my_husband_if_he_still_loved_me/) (22 Oct 22) **UPDATE 2: Asked my husband if he still loved me. His answer: You ask some difficult questions.** Just a quick update. We had a mediation session earlier this week. I spoke about the mixed signals he sent me, how they confused me and gave me hope. The Mediator said exactly what you guys said: “there is not coming back now, you made your decision clear, Ben (my ex). Can you see how you make her feel? It is not helpful.” He cried and apologized to me. After the session I had a very depressive episode where I couldn’t stop crying. He put me in bed, gave me my medicine and stayed with me until I fell asleep. This same night he started cleaning the office. Yesterday he went to the store to get my new mattress, so I didn’t have to wait for delivery nor do it by myself. He also measured the things I needed and helped me with everything related to the new furniture. I think reality wasn’t hitting him so deep down as it was supposed to be. Our next step will be the worst one: to tell the kids what’s going on. I already prepared notes to send to their teachers and got a therapist in case they need someone to talk to. Once again, thanks for the kind messages and suggestions. I feel much better now. [Update 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ym6j06/update_3_asked_my_husband_if_he_still_loved_me/) (5 Nov 22) **UPDATE 3: Asked my husband if he still loved me. His answer: You ask some difficult questions.** Hello again. My ex said something a time ago regarding a lost friendship and I would like to use this metaphor over here. This separation feels like grieving without a body to grieve on. I have to go through all the mourning phases, as if I have lost something. I did lose my emotional support, my confidant and who I used to lean on.  I am learning how to walk alone again, and it hurts a lot. However, I am fine. It does not hurt as much as before and I feel less lost. I denied, I got angry, then tried to bargain. I got more depressed and hurt, but finally I arrived at acceptance. Each stage had its own time. I needed help to get over each one of them. I am not ready to date anyone, but I am having a blast getting to know new people. My ex, on the other hand, is having a hard time. He cried a lot last week, got angry, tried to annul the separation and get back together. He asked me to change my passwords, so he would not give in to the desperation to check my phone. I tried to help him, because I am like that. I love him, he is part of my life and my kid's dad. I cannot leave him suffering. So I offered him some help, some support. But also, I respected my limits, my boundaries and I didn't betray my process. I didnt let him kiss me, but I gave him a hug when he needed. I was able to separate each feeling, because I was being his friend, not his wife anymore. And I was able to do that without jeopardizing my progress of acceptance. Now I sleep better, I can concentrate on my job, tell friends about my separation and feel that my anxiety and depression are getting better. I am helping him as much as I can, but I accept that the separation is necessary at the moment. I accept that we might get back together in the future, or not. I am not anxious about it right now. I am accepting the present and the past, and hoping for a better future. And for the first time, in months, I told my therapist that in a couple months I might be able to reduce the dose of my medication.  There is hope. There is a light at the end. We just need to accept that everything takes its own time...  [Update 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zg2mul/update_4_asked_my_husband_if_he_still_loved_me/) (8 Dec 22) **UPDATE 4: Asked my husband if he still loved me. His answer: You ask some difficult questions.** Hello!!! It's been a while, but so much has happened that I dont even know what to think about it. So, I decided to come here and tell you all about it. Please, you can judge me if you feel like it. So, I went to a birthday party with some friends and I met someone, let's call him Nate. He is very nice, has a beautiful smile, and is also divorced (his ex told him she didnt love him anymore and asked for the divorce. O.o). But there is a problem, he used to be my ex's coworker. So, during the party, he and I talked a lot, due to so much in comun. My friend reminded me we were both single and we were definitely enjoying each other's company. The party was amazing and I was drinking a lot, so I decided I would stay for the night in my friend's house. I was sitting on the floor when Nate came to sit close to me with a gorgeous smile. I felt like a thousand butterflies were in my stomach. We were laughing, talking and he was sitting very very close to me. Suddenly he tried to kiss me, but I said no. I totally freaked out. I invited him outside so we could talk away from people. I said I thought that being with him would be a bad idea, due to my ex (Ben) knowing him. When his ex asked for the divorce, he was very sad and told my ex about it. They were not friends, but they could have been. Nate told me he was really into me, complimented my beauty and my smile, and held my hand. We were both drinking a lot, so I just gave in and kissed him back. And it was amazing. I was not checking my phone and Ben was trying to reach me out to check if I was really okay. I usually dont drink to the point I cannot drive or take an uber. So, Ben contacted my friend to ask if I was okay. So, my friend texted me to let me know what was going on, since she knew I was with Nate. She told Ben I was with her, sleeping. When I came home in the morning he started asking me questions: Where I was, Who I was with... I told him I didnt have to answer him, it was my privacy. So, I found out he checked all my social media accounts and messages, read all my private messages with my friend and wrote nasty things to her due to her lie. He also reached Nate and said nasty things to him too. He said they were friends and that Nate had betrayed him. Furthermore, he used a fake account (as sexy girl) to message a guy he thought I was with. Ben said I acted like a 20 Years old girl, who had no responsibilities nor kids, because I came back in the morning. I felt terrible after that. I knew my kids were safe with him, but maybe he is right. He said I need to grow up and not go out drinking again like a young girl. It is not the first time he has told me that. Ben cried all day long, asked me to come back to him, to try again, and that he didnt want to lose me. I told him I didnt believe in his love at all, but he swore he truly loved him, that he was mistaken. I met Nate a couple days later to apologize for Ben's reactions. Nate told me things I didnt remember at all (alcohol). According to him I called myself too old to make out with someone, not attractive due to some white hairs and a mother's body, and that I didnt deserve his compliments. Nate was gentle and kind to me and said how much he wanted to spend time with me again. He made me feel beautiful and attractive again, and not too old. Nate will be away for 2 months now. He texted me a couple times and we saw each other again before his departure. He said he understands this is all new to me and too soon, but that he would like to take me on a date when he comes back. I, on the other hand, feel like being with him is wrong, very wrong, and sleeping with or going on a date is even worse. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP asked her husband if he still loves her. His answer: You ask some difficult questions.

ONGOING

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmv1up/oop_asked_her_husband_if_he_still_loves_her_his/

zmv7vu

I am not op. This is a repost sub. [The original](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/v6o567/my_friend_plagiarised_my_work_without_me_knowing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) was posted in r/college on June 7, 2022 [The update](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/xz6ycf/my_friend_plagiarised_my_work_without_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) was posted on r/college on Oct 9, 2022 __ **My friend plagiarised my work without me knowing** Hi, i sent my friend my assignment just to read as a guide as she was confused about what to do. I had already submitted it and she received an extension, she submitted a week after me. Both our grades werent released which was weird cause it had never happened to me before. Upon asking to read her assignment i realised she had plagiarised about 60% of it. She wants me to lie for her and say we worked together and had the same ideas. I dont want to lie, i dont want to get into trouble either. Its my last year and this was my last assignment before graduation. We will most likely be called in for a meeting. I feel bad for her but at the same time why copy my work? Can someone help. Does this count as collusion even though we never worked together and i specifically had told her not to copy my work just to read it to understand what to do. Its her first offence too and i dont want her to be kicked out over this. She wants me to now tell them we worked together (which we didnt do) but im realising shes doing this to save herself. Bad friend but i still want the best for her. Help? ~~ Comment from OP: >”See its incredibly awkward between me and her now. Her wedding is next week and im maid of honor so you can see how close we are but i couldnt believe she jeopardised me like this” ____ **My friend plagiarised my work without my knowledge update** Hi all, you may have remembered my post from a few months ago where my friend plagiarised my work. I posted this on the UK group but forgot to post it here. I submitted my work and she had an extension. She begged for my assignment as a guide (this was our LAST assignment before we graduate) I thought fine, she's one of my closest friends, I know she wouldn't copy me (MY STUPID MISTAKE). I told her NOT to copy and to just use it as a guide which she agreed. What she did was take all of my work, copy and paste it into a word changing website and handed it in as her own. She insulted my intelligence and the unis intelligence thinking she could get away with it. She then lied to the uni and said we worked together (we didn't) and during our misconduct meetings, I told them the absolute truth, didn't leave anything out and provided them with all the screenshots. She FABRICATED a screenshots to make it look like she was the one helping me (????). Anyway the uni saw straight through her lies with the help of my evidence, the fact that I handed it in a whole week before etc, and only gave me a formal written warning. They released my grade for that assignment and didn't cap me. I realise this is an incredibly lenient decision from the uni and possibly the BEST decision I could have ever asked for. They also took into consideration the fact that I gave birth in first year and have not failed any of my assignments, or submitted any extenuating circumstances throughout my whole 3 years. I'm just proud of myself for getting to where I am today. All the sleepless nights really paid off! This friend knew I used to put my child to sleep and stay awake all night to do my assignments! Safe to say, be careful who your friends are and DONT send anyone your work, this has caused me months of grief and I've learnt a massive lesson. Cant wait to start my masters! 🙏🏼 ___ I AM NOT OOP. THIS IS A REPOST SUB.

OOP’s close friend plagiarized her university assignment without her knowing

CONCLUDED

BarriBlue

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmv7vu/oops_close_friend_plagiarized_her_university/

zmw4q0

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/jeleki2020 in r/entitledparents** ---   [**Neighbor kept parking on my property - so I had him towed**](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/pjc774/neighbor_kept_parking_on_my_property_so_i_had_him/) - 7 September 2021 Hello everyone. First thing is that this issue just happened this week and I am so mad that I am shaking as I type this. I am going to apologize up front if I ramble but I honestly can’t believe this actually happened. I’ve tried to condense this weeks activity into a single story but sadly, it turned out to be super long – sorry in advance. I think I have to put TLDR? Backstory: I’m a single mother of 2 teenage boys and I live in a nice, quiet neighborhood at the end of a cul-de-sac. Every house on this street has a garage and I’m the only one that has a single car ***and*** parks in my garage. Almost every house on this street is a family home with at least 3 cars, but most have more. Some will park in their drive-way and some will park on the street. It’s never been a problem since everyone is considerate on how they park and no one has ever had an issue with getting in and out of the street. In addition, I tend to keep to myself. I’m not antisocial and I wave and say hello to my neighbors when I come and go from my home but usually when I get home – I stay home. So, I say all of this to give you an idea that I’m a homebody and my neighbors pretty much know that when I get home – I stay home. About 6 months ago, the house to my right was sold to a larger family that consisted of Dad, Mom, and 3 teenagers. The day they started moving in, I made a point to go over to the edge of the property to wave and greet them in order to welcome them to the neighborhood. They were friendly and I was happy to have such nice people to move in next door. Also note, this family used their garage for storage and thus parked their 4 cars in their driveway. I didn’t know it at the time, but their youngest son was just months away from his 16th birthday. Now that you have a little information, onto the story. The players: Me is me, ND is entitled Neighbor Dad, NS is entitled neighbor son, and NM is entitled Neighbor Mom, and NP is the poor nice police officer. Today is Monday afternoon and this story began last Tuesday. Around 6PM on Tuesday, I received a knock on the door and it was ND. Following is our conversation: ND: Good evening, how are you? Me (talking through the screen door): We’re okay. I’m sorry I can’t open the door but my youngest came home from school with a sore throat today and so I’m not sure what’s going on with him. How are you and how can I help? ND: I’m sorry to hear that – I hope it isn’t anything serious. We are okay. My son just turned 16 a few weeks ago and I’m sure you saw the new truck we bought him. Me: Yes, I did. It’s such a pretty truck and big! Does he like it? ND: Yes, he does! It’s what he wanted so we got it for him. It *is* very big and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about (Let’s take a brief pause here and understand that when I say this truck is very big – it is VERY big. It is an F350! I personally think its too much of a vehicle for a kid learning to drive, but it’s not my money so to each their own) Me: I don’t understand? ND: We have been having complaints from some of the other neighbors that his truck is so big that they can’t get around it when they are driving through and we’re afraid that it might get side swiped if he continues to park it in the street. Me: Yeah, I’ve had some intense moments trying to get around it myself, but I’m sure he will get better at parking as he gets more experienced. I’m not sure what this has to do with me – I haven’t complained. ND: Oh, I know you haven’t complained, which is why I was going to ask if he could use your drive-way to park since you don’t use it. Me (very stunned at this): Um, I do use my driveway when I leave and come home. I can’t get to my garage without using my driveway. Besides, I have issues with depth perception and your son’s truck is so big it will take up most of my driveway and I don’t want to be responsible for any damage that might happen while it is on my property. ND: Well, we will make sure that he parks so that it will allow you to come and go without any issues. Me: That isn’t possible. The only way he can park to allow me to get around him is if he parks halfway on my lawn and that wouldn’t work because then he would damage my lawn. If you are concerned about his truck getting damaged then why don’t you let him park in your drive-way and then one of your other smaller cars can park in the street. ND: We’ve already discussed that and we would have to park 2 cars in the street in order for him to use the driveway. It would be very easy for him to park in your driveway and I can assure you that it will not be an inconvenience to you. You don’t even use your driveway. Me: I’m sorry, but the answer is no. I’m not going to be responsible for his vehicle on my property and I need to be able to come and go without worrying about someone else’s property. ND (very upset at this point): You are not being very neighborly. I thought you were a nice woman. You don’t use your driveway and this would benefit the whole neighborhood. Me (losing my temper at this point): Listen, I told you no and I ***DO*** use my driveway every time I pull into my garage and every time I leave. I’m sorry you don’t have enough parking for all your vehicles, I’m sure its frustrating, but its not my problem that you decided to buy a vehicle that didn’t fit your property. Now, while I also find it irritating to try to navigate the road with that truck in the way, it is public parking and so I deal with it. I will not have anyone else’s vehicle parking on my property. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a sick kid and need to get back to him! Have a good day. With that I closed the door and then looked out the peep hole and saw him give me the bird before he turned to leave. I just shook my head and had to take a moment to understand that I actually just had that conversation. I then loaded my son up in the car and left to take him to minor emergency to get him checked out. All tests came back negative and I was told he probably had a run of the mill virus and to keep him home and do self-care. Was told to bring him in if he got worse but not to worry. I went to work the next day and told my co-workers the story of my neighbor’s request and they were shocked. I had one co-worker suggest that I send an email to my HOA to explain what happened just to get it on record because it was such an odd request. I took her advice and typed up an email that day when I was at lunch and sent it. For those who want to know, it was just an FYI email – not a complaint email. It basically stated that my neighbor made a request to park on my property and when I declined, he got mad at me and I wanted it on record just in case anything ever happens. (so very glad I did!) So, Friday comes and my youngest son has been home sick since Tuesday afternoon. When I got home Friday evening, I checked him and he had begun to run a fever and was complaining of several other things. I had been doing self-care with him since Tuesday and he didn’t appear to be getting any better. Around 7 PM, I decided to take him back to minor emergency and loaded him up in the car. I opened my garage door and I was absolutely shocked to see that very big F350 sitting in my driveway – BLOCKING me! I can’t describe to you how angry I was to see that vehicle sitting there. (Now before anyone starts asking me how I didn’t know it was in my driveway, its because my street is very busy and cars are coming and going all the time and unless someone knocks on my door – I don’t bother watching every vehicle that drives up and down the street. The only window that can see my driveway are the ones in my Kitchen and I keep those curtains drawn and never look out of them). So, I get out of my car and stomp over to my neighbor’s house and bang on their door. NM answers the door and this is the conversation: NM (irritated and kind of angry): Can I help you? You are interrupting our dinner! Me: Your son is parked in my driveway after I told your husband he couldn’t. I need to take my son to minor emergency and that truck is blocking me in! \[Its at this time that ND walks up behind NM and proceeds to talk\] ND: He isn’t blocking you in, you can get around him. Me: No I can’t. You need to move that truck or I’m going to call the police AND a tow truck! I need to get my son in to see a doctor! ND (turning to call for his son and then turning back to me): He’s not blocking you but I will have him move it. Me: It doesn’t matter whether you believe he is blocking me in or not. He is not allowed to park in my driveway. No one is allowed to park in my driveway and if I find an unauthorized vehicle parked in my drive-way again – I’m not going to bother to knock on your door – I’m going to have it towed! It was at this time I saw the son arrive at the door with his keys in his hands and I turned to leave and head to my car to wait for him to move it and I heard him call me that famous “B” word every woman has heard at least once in her life! I ignored him and headed to my car and watched as he got in and after some effort finally was able to back out of my driveway and parked his truck in the street a little way down the road. I was able to leave and take my son to minor emergency where, as we waited for several hours to be seen, I shot off another email to my HOA about what had just happened. I want to advise, the HOA had already responded the day before that they received my email, made a note of it, and advised my property was my own and I could give or deny access to it as I wish. It was this email string that I responded to while waiting for my kid to be seen. Again, all tests administered to my son came back negative and I was told it was a run of the mill virus and he would be fine, the virus just had to run its course. I took him home and called it a day. Saturday evening, my oldest started complaining of a soar throat and I was starting to feel poorly myself. My youngest appeared to be getting better so I figured that whatever he had, that we were getting so we stayed in all day Saturday and Sunday. Sunday evening at about 5:30 my oldest son spiked a fever and while it came down a little, it didn’t come down enough so I loaded him in the car and off to minor emergency we went. The only one I could find that was open on Sunday at this time was on the other side of town so I had to drive 20 minutes just to get there and we ended up waiting for 3 hours to just get in the door and then another 45 minutes till we saw the doctor. After a few more hours and all of his tests come back negative the doctor did state that she could hear some wheezing in his lungs and so she prescribed an inhaler for him to help him but basically told me the same thing that he has a run of the mill virus and to let it run it course. I had to drive even further to the only 24-hour pharmacy available to pick up the inhaler and we did not get back to the house until almost midnight. Let me set the scene for you. My son is half asleep in the passenger seat and complaining that he just wants to go home and I am exhausted and feeling drained and having coughing fits myself and I’m just looking forward to going to bed when I rounded the corner and saw that truck sitting in my driveway. I couldn’t even pull in because he was blocking me and I also noticed that he was parked partially on my lawn. I was so mad I could hardly see straight. I googled and found a 24-hour tow truck service and explained that I had an unauthorized vehicle on my property that I needed towing. The woman said it would be about 30 minutes before they could get a truck there and I said that was fine. In the meantime, I walked my kid to the house and put him to bed and then quickly went outside and took a picture from the street to show how much of the driveway he was taking and that he was also parked on my lawn. I couldn’t understand why they would park in my driveway again after I had told them no and the only thing I could come up with is that since there had been no activity at my house for hours that my neighbors probably assumed I was in for the night and wouldn’t notice the truck in my driveway (this is pure speculation but its normal for me to be in for the night especially after 6PM). I don’t know if they missed me leaving or just saw me leave but figured I was home but it really doesn’t matter because I told them they couldn’t park on my property. It was about 12:30 AM when the tow truck arrived and I half expected my neighbors to come running but there wasn’t any activity from them and the driver left with the truck without incident. I went in, shot off another email to my HOA along with pictures and an explanation that I had towed the vehicle and then went to bed. At 6:00 AM, this morning I woke up to someone banging loudly and rapidly on my door. I didn’t have to look; I knew who it was. I grabbed my phone, hit the video record button. Before I opened the door, I looked through the peep hole and saw ND and his son at my door. I opened the door and following is the conversation: ND(very angry and yelling): Where is the truck?!!! Me (as calmly as I could state while coughing). It was towed. You can call Such and Such Company to make arrangements to get it back. ND: You didn’t have the right to tow it. You’re going to pay to get it back! Me: I had every right to tow an unauthorized vehicle on my property. I told you not to park on my property and you did it anyways. It blocked me from getting in my driveway last night. I told you I was going to have it towed after the last time you parked without my permission. And I won’t be paying anything to get it back. ND: You stole my truck “you f’n B” and I’m calling the police. I’m going to sue you! Me (having enough of this): Go ahead. In the meantime, I’m sick and I’m going back to bed. I closed the door and stood there for a moment. I looked out the peep hole and they were still there. ND started banging and was also ringing my doorbell non-stop. He knocked and rang my doorbell for another 4 minutes before he gave up. I am still recording all of this and I didn’t turn off the video he was gone. I turned and saw my kids standing there. The noise had gotten them up and I just advised that if they were still feeling ill, to just go back to bed because that was where I was going. Now I will honestly say that I didn’t think he would call the police, but he DID! It was about a half hour (I really wasn’t looking at the clock) that I heard the doorbell ring. I got up and looked through the peep hole and a police officer was there. I opened the door and had the following conversation. NP: Good morning ma’am. Sorry to bother you, but we had a report from your neighbor. He is stating that you “stole” his son’s truck by having it towed from the street and we need to talk to you about this issue. Me: Good morning officer. My neighbor is only telling you half the story. I had his truck towed this morning from MY driveway when I returned home from minor emergency. I couldn’t get into my driveway and I have already told him twice that him and his family can’t park on my property. This issue started last week and I have emails to my HOA, pictures of his truck parked in my driveway this morning, and a video of my neighbor’s visit this morning where he called me names and told me he was going to sue me and call the police. I can show you if you would like? NP: Yes. So, you are saying that the truck in question was on your property without your permission and that you had it towed? Me: Yes. Last Tuesday he asked if I would allow his son to park in my driveway. I told him no and he got mad at me and flipped me off before leaving. Then Friday evening, when I was leaving, I discovered his son had parked in my driveway and I couldn’t leave my garage. I went over and demanded they remove the vehicle and I told them at that time that I would have the truck towed if they parked on my property again. I came home late this morning and the truck was in my driveway – so I had it towed. NP: I just want to confirm, you are saying that it wasn’t parked on the street but in your driveway. And you have proof of this? Me: Yes sir. If you will give me a minute, I will print off the emails that I sent to the HOA that documents the issues and I will also show you the picture and video as well. With this, the police officer said that he would wait for me to print everything off. Once I got the emails printed, I then returned to the door. Opened my photos app to the officer to show the truck in my driveway, timestamped. Handed my phone and printed emails to him. After looking at the photo where you could clearly see my house in the background, the truck blocking the entrance and that it was partially on the lawn, the officer then read the printouts. He handed my phone back to me and asked me to open the video that I had referenced while he went over to the lawn to look. I watched him look at the area and then take a few photos. I could see my neighbor and his whole family standing in their driveway watching me and the NP. NP returned and I handed him back my phone with the video ready and he watched it. After he finished watching the video, we had the following exchange: NP: I am going to need a copy of that photo and video for my file. If I provided you with an email, would you be able to send it to me? Me : Yes sir. No problem. NP: I have enough information for my files to determine that the vehicle was not on public property and was in fact on your property. I’ve made a note that you did not give permission for the vehicle to be parked on the property. Based on the emails you gave me with dates and time, it appears you did in fact advise your neighbor not to park on your property. Would you like to file a trespassing report for this incident? Me: Oh, absolutely. NP: I can see you are not feeling well. You can either file with me now or you can go online. [getting business card out, writing on it, and then handing it to me]. Here is my business card with my email address that you need to use to send me your photo and video and the case # is on the card as well. Do you want to file with me now? Me: Honestly, I’m exhausted and would prefer to file online later. NP: Okay. Reference this case # when you email your evidence and file the online report. Also reference my name in the report. One more thing - I saw in the video where ND stated he was going to sue you for having the truck towed. He can sue you if he wants and I would advise that you keep all of the evidence you provided me with today along with the case # I just gave you. Give it a few days and you can request a copy of the report and you will want to keep that as well. If you decide to file an online report, you will need to keep a copy of that as well. I’m going to go talk to ND now and sorry to have bothered you. Me: Thank you officer. I’m sorry you had to come out. NP: Have a good day ma’am. Get some rest. With that, I closed the door and went back to bed. However, I am so mad that I didn’t get any sleep. A few hours ago, I sent off my photo, video, and another copy of the HOA emails to the email address the police officer gave me and then saved all of that information just in case. I also filed a trespassing report online. I then sat down and started typing this story. Not sure where this is going to go, but I am going to see it through. I know that I’m going to get a lot of pushback from people saying that I should have just knocked on their door and had them move the truck but I feel that I was right to have the truck towed. I had already told them twice not to park on my property and it didn’t stop – so this was the consequence. I will post an update later if there is anything that comes of my report or if ND does actually follow up on his threat and sue me. If you read all of this, thank you and again, I’m sorry for the length. **Update:** OMG, this thing blew up and I'm just amazed. Thank you everyone for your comments and awards. I had posted this because I was second guessing myself and thought maybe I had let my sickness and anger outweigh my judgement but your comments have made me feel more secure with the decision I made. I have so many comments that I can't respond to everyone so I wanted to address a few repeating comments that I saw: #1. This is a real story and if you don't believe it, then that's on you. #2. Yes, I live in a quiet neighborhood and my specific road is busy. There are 12 houses on my street. Busy road doesn't mean noisy. I guess I caused confusion when I said I was at the end of the the Cul-de-sac. I'm the last house right before the cul-de-sac starts, so I consider myself at the end. Cul-de-sac doesn't mean no traffic, I still have neighbors and guests drive by and the cul-de-sac is used as a place to turn around. As I previously stated, I'm the only one on with a single car. This is a family neighborhood and there are lots of cars that drive in our area and on our street. They are residents and guests. #3. Cameras. I don't have any cameras and I will have to save up to get some and based on the comments I will make that a priority. I have to budget to get extra stuff. My neighbor across the street have cameras and I'm almost certain the front of my house is covered by them. There is no way they can cover the front of their property without getting the street and my front yard covered. This doesn't bother me and when I'm feeling better, I will go ask them about the coverage. #4. I did take a look at my HOA paperwork and it does mention that street parking is acceptable but only if it doesn't impede traffic. I'm assuming that since some of the neighbors made a complaint about the truck, that the HOA must have said something to him which is why he was trying to use my driveway. This is purely an assumption. #5. For those telling me I should have damaged the truck in some way - I just can't do that. Was it wrong for them to park on my property - yes, but that doesn't mean I have to be like them. I'm satisfied with just towing the truck and the report I filed. If things don't escalate then I will call it a win. If they do, then I will certainly respond. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not a push-over. I will not start anything or escalate anything unnecessarily - but if they escalate I will stand my ground. #6. Yes, myself and my oldest are still sick but getting better every day. My youngest was able to return to school this morning. Thank you all again for your support and I will certainly update you when I know anything else. **Update 2:** So I know a lot of you have been wanting an update, but I wanted to wait until I got a copy of the police report before I did, which I got this afternoon. Sadly, it didn't go anywhere. I was kind of hoping that he would have a false report charged against him, but the report states that NS told ND that he parked it in the street in front of my house and that is why ND called the police. The NP had questioned both of them after he spoke to me and that is when NS said he had lied to his dad and had actually parked in my driveway. I guess they don't believe he did it intentionally, so no charges were filed and the report was closed. I don't believe it but that's how it goes. The trespassing report I filed has not been closed yet. I was told that if he is convicted that it is just a misdemeanor and he would have to pay a fine, maybe 10 days of jail, and/or community service. Also, it would be the son who would be listed as the trespasser and since he is a minor, I'm not sure where that will go. But, I discovered that if he is convicted then I could use that to have a protective order done. Will have to follow up later on the trespassing. So, I am getting a lot of messages asking about the truck and if there has been any retaliation. Yes, the neighbors got the truck back and no, I don't know how much it cost them to do so, and yes he is still parking in the street but he is parking it further down next to the entrance of the road. As far as I can tell, they haven't done anything to my property and they haven't said anything to me since that day; although, I have gotten some pretty nasty glares and looks from them when I see anyone from their family. I was amazed by how many offers I received from all of you to help me get some cameras. This has touched me greatly. I would like to say thank you for the offers, but I am okay. I was able to talk to several of my neighbors and I found out that my neighbors that are 3 houses from me may have been the reason that he asked to use my property. I discovered that the man who lives in that house tried to leave for work one morning (he leaves at like 4 AM) and he couldn't get around NS truck. So he bangs on ND's door until ND finally got up and went out and moved his son's vehicle. I don't know the details of the conversation but I know there were angry words and a veiled threat if NS truck kept being a problem. Other neighbors confirmed they had made complaints to HOA, but HOA wasn't really helping. Apparently, some other people on the block have had other issues besides the truck since he has moved in and so this family isn't well liked before this whole issue. Word has spread about what happened and now there is a "watch" going on. I have told everyone that I would just like for things to die down and have asked that no one instigate or does anything on my behalf. I told a couple of my neighbors about this post and one of them has a reddit account, so she said she was going to follow the post. And no, I'm not going to post a photo or video because I don't want to risk starting anything. If there is a chance that I can go back to my peaceful existence then that is what I want to do. If you need that information to prove this story is true then you are free to not believe it. Also, I wasn't clear when I was talking about emailing my HOA. My HOA didn't do anything but log the complaints I was making and tell me that my property is mine and that they can't do anything about what they consider a "civil" matter. The reason my emails to the HOA were so important was because they contained date/time of the the information and that matched what I had told the officer. My HOA really isn't very good. In addition, some of my neighbors have cameras. I spoke to the lady across the street and her cameras weren't very helpful. They are at an angle and zoomed in on a bird bath in her yard (I guess she likes to watch them) and wasn't meant for security. However, the neighbor beside her went out and adjusted his cameras (he has a lot of them) and was able to cover most of my front yard and part of the side that faces him without sacrificing coverage of his property. It doesn't get my whole yard but he was able to get the driveway. So anything going forward should be caught. I still plan to save up for some of my own, but now it isn't such a big priority. And the retired man down the street knocked on my door yesterday and gave me his phone number. Told me if I got a visit from anyone from that house again to call him and he would come take care of it. and that he would make sure to keep an eye out. So I am feeling very blessed to have these neighbors. I again want to thank everyone for their support and I don't really have much else to update except for when the trespassing report plays out, which I don't know how long that will take, but I will certainly update once I do. I wish you all the best of everything and again - thank you! **Final Update:** So first off, I want to apologize for taking so long to update. I've been waiting for the court date to be over before updating and for some reason it got postponed twice before finally getting settled yesterday. I'm going to try and make this a short update, but no promises, LOL! While waiting for things to progress, I discovered from the neighbor across the street that NS had been caught parking in one of the neighbors down the street's house and I was able to get a notarized statement from that neighbor about the incident and was able to include it as supporting documents on my report. Sadly, I was disappointed with the outcome at court because it ended up that he got a fine of $150 and that was it. Judge did stress that he can't just park where he wants and to be kind to his neighbors. I would also like to add that I personally haven't been bothered by that family - other than dirty looks when we're both out at the same time. Furthermore, I found out that he and his family either found this post or was told about this post and are very angry about it and have mentioned that I am slandering him and that I lied, but he hasn't said anything directly to me. I also have been able to save up for a camera system and my ex-husband came over and installed them on my house and he made a very big show of doing it - so I now have eyes on my property when I'm not looking. There are two good things that have happened. The first is that, after NS was caught parking in the other neighbor's driveway, the family started playing "musical cars" with all their vehicles. They had been constantly moving cars in and out of the driveway in order to accommodate that huge truck and it has been watched with delight from the entire street. I think it finally broke ND because about 2 weeks ago, they got rid of NS truck and replaced it with a much smaller truck that can easily be parked in the street. So I feel like this is some kind of victory in itself. But the BEST thing that has come of this whole thing has been the older man down the street. He's the one that I mentioned in my last update that he gave me his phone number and told me to call him if I had any issues. I never called him but I came home one day and I noticed that my yard had been mowed, weeded (is that the correct word?) and edged. I've never seen my yard look this good - I certainly don't have the skills to do that! I was shocked and I was thinking that maybe my ex-husband had taken pity on my and did it - even though I knew that was far fetched (I had to beg him for weeks to do the cameras!). Before I could get settled in, someone knocked on my door and when I answered the door - it was the older man. He said he had seen me out pushing the lawn mower around and lugging around a weedeater that was bigger than me and since he had a riding mower, he decided he would save me some trouble and mowed my yard. I thank him profusely and tried to pay him and he declined the money and told me he liked doing yard work and he didn't mind helping me out. So I took him over some Chicken Spaghetti that night and he tried to refuse the meal and I told him I enjoyed cooking (I don't really) and that I wanted to show him my appreciation. This man is a widower and doesn't have family in the state so he's mowed my yard regularly until it turned cold and I take him over meals at least 3 times a week and he has even come over for dinner a few times. I've talked to him in some form almost every day. I had a leaky sink and he fixed it over my protests. I lost my grandfather several years back and I have missed him greatly and this man reminds me of my grandfather. He tells my boys stories of his time in the Military, about his kids and late wife, and gives them advise (he regularly used ND and his family as a "not what to do"), and he has become almost like my 2nd grandpa. Thanksgiving is just going to be me and my boys this year and so I invited him over for Thanksgiving and after much begging and persuading - he has agreed. I'm going to invite him for Christmas as well and I have socked away some extra money and we are going to make sure that he has a present under our tree this year. I guess I should go thank ND and his family cause their entitlement made it possible for us to have some "family" for the holidays. Thank you all for your support and concern and don't worry about me anymore - I got my 2nd grandpa looking after me!   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

Neighbor kept parking on my property - so I had him towed

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmw4q0/neighbor_kept_parking_on_my_property_so_i_had_him/

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/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmxzxv/porsche_nft_public_mint_live_now_1000_nfts/

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/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmy8dl/porsche_nft_public_mint_live_now_1000_nfts/

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The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws

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/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmyqq6/chromie_squiggles_v2_public_mint_live_now_only/

zmz3e3

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwawayegg52 in r/trueoffmychest** trigger warnings: >!racism, domestic abuse, rape!< ---   [**My white husband confessed to me that he enjoys “race play” fantasies**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z2bdsz/my_white_husband_confessed_to_me_that_he_enjoys/) - 23 November 2022 I’m black and my husband is white. Yesterday he admitted to me that recently he’s started to like something called “race play” which means that he has sexual fantasies about racist situations. To be honest I still don’t know a lot about it but an example that he gave me is that he has a fantasy about being a plantation owner while I’m a slave that he keeps as a mistress. I can’t stand to look at him any more because all I feel is disgust. He knows that I have been in relationships where I was objectified in the past and I know that people can’t control their sexual interest but I can’t separate this image of my husband being attracted to racist situations from the man that I fell in love with and married. He asked me if I was willing to give it a chance but I told him that I didn’t want to and now he’s sleeping in the guest room because we had a fight about me not being supportive. I think this might end my marriage but I love him and want to work through it somehow **Update:** I talked to my husband over lunch. I did what some of you suggested and asked him where he got the idea from and how he started to like it. Most of you were right. He discovered it on a porn site and began watching more porn videos featuring it. He told me that it’s been about two months since he discovered it. Then he asked me again if I would give it a chance for him. When I told him that I was uncomfortable with it he got upset again and asked why I wouldn’t support him. He even offered that we could try it once and then if I didn’t like it we wouldn’t have to do it again. But when I said no he got frustrated and we started to argue. He reminded me of all of the things that he has done for me and how much he always supports me and then called me manipulative. He has now left with the car to go spend time with his friends. I’ve been crying for the past fifteen minutes and I don’t know what else to do **Update 2:** A couple of commenters have asked about it since the first update a couple of hours ago. I am now trying to see if one of my friends will let me stay with them for a day or two so that I can clear my head. I am no contact with most of my family and the family members that I still talk to live several states away, so staying with family is not an option. And my husband owns the house so I can’t change the locks or tell him not to come home. **Update 3:** It is currently the middle of the night here. I left our house and am now staying with a good friend, and I will be staying here until this evening. I’ve been here for a few hours now. I did not see my husband before my friend picked me up, but I left him a voicemail to tell him that I needed space to clear my head. I also did what some of you suggested and said in the voicemail that I felt pressured by him into doing something that I didn’t want. He has since heard the voicemail and has called and texted begging me to come home. He wants to come pick me up from her house in the morning but I said no. He accused me of abandoning him right before Thanksgiving and his best friend has also texted me to tell me that I’m a bad wife for treating my husband like this when he pays for everything and supports my lifestyle. To be honest it made me cry more than what my husband said. I don’t think I will be able to get any sleep tonight after this. This is not a part of the update but I have received a lot of questions through comments and direct messages so I will answer a few of them here. 1. I do not know if my husband has a porn addiction. To be honest I am not sure how to tell if someone has a porn addiction. 2. I am 25 and my husband is 33. We have been together for 3 years, almost 4. But we have only been married for 1 year. 3. My husband is the sole earner in our house. I am a stay at home wife and do not have any income. 4. We do not have any children together but were planning to start a family next year. I want children but I am going to put it on hold until I figure things out of course. 5. We have done domination in the bedroom before so this porn did not awaken that kink in him. 6. All of my husband’s ex-girlfriends are white. Aside from two guys that I dated in high school and my husband, all of the men that I’ve dated have been Hispanic or black. 7. Yes we live in the south but I do not feel comfortable disclosing what state.   [**My husband is accusing me of ruining Thanksgiving because I won’t come home to host for the family**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoSO/comments/z3r8ai/my_husband_is_accusing_me_of_ruining_thanksgiving/) - 24 November 2022 Hello and happy Thanksgiving to all that celebrate. I apologize if this post seems like a ramble but I have had a very difficult last few days so my thoughts are a little incoherent. I was pointed in the direction of this subreddit by a user who private messaged me because she thought that I would benefit from it. My husband confessed to having a fetish the other day that I am very uncomfortable with. We had a fight about it and he accused me of not being supportive of him because I told him that I wouldn’t give it a chance. This led to him sleeping in our guest room and more arguments, and after consulting with others from a different subreddit I had a good friend pick me up and take me to her house while he was out with his friends. She offered to let me spend Thanksgiving with her and her family so I left him a voicemail before I left telling him where I was and that I would be home after Thanksgiving dinner. Now he won’t stop texting and leaving voicemails begging me to come home. He has also accused me of abandoning him on Thanksgiving even though I’m supposed to cook and host for his immediate family today. To be honest I am worried about ruining Thanksgiving. His family loves to celebrate holidays, and Thanksgiving is his mother’s favorite. I host and cook for every holiday except for Independence Day and Easter. I know that his siblings are not going to care, but it’s his parents that I’m worried about. I have a good relationship with them aside from their nosiness but they are traditional and I worry that if I don’t come home and host it will strain our relationship. My husband thinks that I’m going to ruin the entire holiday if I refuse to come home since he can’t cook and he thinks it will be cruel of me to let his family come to our home expecting dinner when there will be nothing to eat because of me. **Update:** While I was preparing dinner with my friend my husband called me. His family has arrived and his parents aren’t happy with his explanation about why I’m not there. He didn’t tell them the truth and I don’t know what he said but apparently the excuse that he gave was not a good one because they blame him for it. His mother has taken over making all of the food and instead of turkey she will be reheating some leftover chicken for them to eat. Apparently she scolded him for fighting with me during a holiday when it’s supposed to be about spending time with family and reflecting on why you love them. He sounded like he was about to cry while talking. He asked me if I was happy that his with his mother and father was ruined because I wanted to be spiteful and hurt him instead of just putting my feelings aside and spending time with him and his family, and he said that his friend was right about me being a bad wife because I stooped low enough to embarrass him to his family by ghosting them on a holiday. Then he told me that he is coming to get me at 7:30 and hung up. To be honest I feel awful for making him cry. I know that I should be happy that his parents are supportive even if he did not tell them the real reason, but my husband rarely cries. I feel terrible for hurting him like that. I think that I messed up by not going home but I don’t know what to do. **Edit:** Not an update but please stop suggesting that I go to my family. I am no contact with most of my family, including my parents, for a reason that I do not feel comfortable disclosing. The family members that I am in contact with are more distant relatives. And before any of you ask: no, my husband does not have anything to do with why I’m no contact with my parents. I have been no contact with them since before we entered a relationship, and he has never met them.   [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwawayegg52/comments/zbk05r/update/) - 3 December 2022 A lot has happened and I have not been able to come back here until this morning. I’m sorry After my last post I did go home with my husband. He locked himself in the bathroom but he did eventually come out. We had a conversation and I apologized for upsetting him. He also apologized for making me cry. That Friday he made his friend apologize to me and he also apologized to me for everything else and said that he wanted to fix things. He bought me a necklace and bracelet during his Black Friday shopping to show how much he loves me. That night we slept together for the first time since all of this started. It was fine and nothing strange really happened but I still felt weird, but I decided to just ignore it. I brought up starting therapy to him a few times over the weekend but he got very upset and defensive whenever I tried to bring it up so after a few days I just let it go and decided to just try and move on He took me on a small vacation to a resort in our state this week because he thought that having time away from everything would help us get closer after the unpleasantness. I was happy to get some time away to clear my head and spend time with him so we could make things work so I agreed. I loved spending time with him. Things were fine until Wednesday night. We went to the beach that day and then saw a movie. When we got back to the resort that night he asked me again if I would give his fantasy a chance. Of course I said no. But he insisted and got frustrated when I refused again. He blew up on me and asked why I was doing this to him when he’s been doing everything right. To be honest I got very scared and tried to go in the bathroom but he grabbed me before I could and pinned me down I couldn’t do anything about it. I just layed there and cried. He said some awful things to me and made me say awful things too. I feel disgusting and now I can barely stand to look at or think about myself. I’ve thrown up most food I’ve had since and I’m having nightmares We came back home today and I’ve been in our room the entire time. He has been acting like nothing happened and thinks that I just came down with the flu or coronavirus. I wish that I had listened to you all. You all were right and now I don’t know what to do   [**Update 5**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwawayegg52/comments/zflshv/update_5/) - 8 December 2022 I am feeling exhausted from everything happening currently but I thought that I would update everyone to let you all know that I am currently staying with a friend. To be honest I’ve been depressed these last few days and my nightmares have only increased. I haven’t seen my husband in person since I left but he won’t stop calling and texting begging for me to come home. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet but I am grateful for all of the kind words and support   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

[NEW UPDATE] My white husband confessed to me that he enjoys “race play” fantasies

NEW UPDATE

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmz3e3/new_update_my_white_husband_confessed_to_me_that/

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Chromie Squiggles V2 Public Mint Live now! Only 2500 NFTs claimable!

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/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzaw5/chromie_squiggles_v2_public_mint_live_now_only/

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The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws

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question

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The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws

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RTFKT is now Airdropping Footballverse jersey NFTs! Argentina vs France! Only 1000 NFTs claimable!

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marybeho5496

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmznm7/rtfkt_is_now_airdropping_footballverse_jersey/

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The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws part 4

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The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws, part 5

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zmzs61

Go grab some snacks and a blanket, this is suuuuuper long. I compiled it in a Microsoft Word document and it’s 43 pages 😳😳 These posts were made by Burneraccount-909876, almost entirely in r/EntitledPeople. It was [previously posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/paev3n/buckle_up_this_is_a_long_and_wild_ride_op/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) on BORU by simply posting all the links of the posts that had been put up at that time. The update will be separated by 🆕🆕🆕🆕🆕 about halfway through “PART 3”. I made some minor formatting edits, but everything else I pasted exactly as-is. [PART 1]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzs61/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_1/), [PART 2]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmztmz/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_2/), [PART 3]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzvwr/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_3/), [PART 4]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzxd6/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_4/), [PART 5]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzyx3/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_5/) ——— [**AITA for not paying for a holiday when my SIL demands it?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hkf6r3/aita_for_not_paying_for_a_holiday_when_my_sil/) submitted July 2020 in r/AmITheAsshole, but removed for exceeding the character limit. [**The story of a Sil who demands a holiday**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/hkff57/the_story_of_a_sil_who_demands_a_holiday/) submitted July 2020 Burner account since people I know follow me on Reddit. I can’t go in too much details due to anonymity. Also, very, very long story. Apologies. To start. I’m 46F, are married and have 3 kids. 10 years ago we came in to money, a lot of money. I worked hard in my specific field which earns a lot, I had done some smart investments and they have paid out. I have been steadily adding to my bank account for these years. My husband considers this ‘my’ money, we don’t have a prenup. Hence, I will talk as it is mine. When the first payload came in I did what my husband and I always discussed if we would have the money. Mortgage was paid off, I bought a new car and I managed to buy a nice house in our favourite holiday destination. We rent this one out to a very nice family for most of the year. We set up college funds for our children. Each an equal amount which should be enough to pay for 5 years. If there is money left from the fund, the children can use this as a downpayment on their own house or apartment. When the money kept coming in, thanks to the investments and my work, I looked towards what could be done for my immediate family. My husband has 2 sisters and we have 5 nieces and nephews on his side from 1 of the sisters . My brother has 2 children as well. It was decided that all of the nieces and nephews would have college funds as well, for the same amount as my children under the same strict stipulations. I would get the information about the costs and make sure everything is paid. My eldest niece had already started college so I paid the amount already paid to her parents to keep everything fair. She managed to finish within the 4 years and has some money left. I had an accountant (dear friend) find out what would be beneficial to my brother and one of my SIls in regards to their mortgage. I paid off the majority for the both of them. My parents were sent on a nice trip, since their house is already paid of and for both my IL’s and other SIL rent so I paid a certain amount so they can save that money. Part of the money goes to charity at home and abroad. I also set up some college funds for the children of our closest friends and family members. As a treat, Hubby, LO and I went on a paid by us/me vacation with both my own extended family and his. Now, At this point everyone is very grateful. However, one of the SIl’s always has a need to be in the spotlight or that one or all of her children need to be. She’s nice to my face but I know for a fact that she has been bad mouthing me, makings passive aggressive remarks about me and my work and my person but always in such a manner that you would be the bitch/asshole if you would say something. My usual tactic and one that works always is….play the innocent/dumb one and nitpick on what she says. I have managed to shut her up many times without being classified as a bitch. So the past few years SIL has been hinting that I should pay for a very nice, all inclusive resort holiday for her and her family abroad, since I have the money. (Note: they have money saved that would initially been used for the college funds of their kids. Money that has barely been used.) COVID hit and she has been silent, she and her husband took and still take it very seriously. Now that restrictions are mostly lifted she had a birthday party for her and her son since her son really wanted to have a party. No biggie, we show up with a gift for her and her son and all is well. Birthday boy got a voucher to buy a tent or the camping gear he wanted. SIL got a voucher to use whatever way she wanted. I added some sunscreen, drinks and such as I knew she wanted to go on a holiday of some sorts. Or so we thought. She asks what our holiday plans are. We say that we won’t be crossing any foreign borders, stay in home country but we booked a cabin somewhere for a week. Very nice, not luxurious or anything. We would still need to cook and do the grocery shopping. SIL starts on the ‘oh how nice. We are still thinking about what we want to do.‘ My lovely hubby and I both have an inkling what she’s hinting at but we start spouting ideas in the hopes of avoiding tragedy. We have family at one place, maybe they could stay there for a weekend or so. There is a campsite somewhere else, with entertainment for children of various ages. Then it comes. She shows us something she found on the world wide web and to be honest, it looks amazing, not too luxurious but still very nice. All inclusive, waterpark for the kids, spa centre, the whole shebang. Price tag for a family of 7? 35.000 dollars. So Hubby says that’s a lot but is glad they saved so much to do this. SIL then goes, ‘oh we don’t. We thought you would be paying, as my birthday gift.’ Say….what? People, she just told us what she was looking at. No scratch that. She expected me to give about 35.000 dollars as a gift for her birthday, just because I have money. She goes on that I earn enough and they’re family, our godson, other nieces and nephews have been promised already and so forth. We all sat in stunned silence. Birthday boy and 2 of his sisters even looked up to see what we would say while playing with our LOs. Hubby just started laughing, thinking it was a joke. FIL just sat there and looked on and I did a seemingly very good impression of a fish. No SIL was dead serious. ‘You have the money, you can just give it. You won’t miss it.’ This woman has shown her disdain for me and my work many times in a very sweet, passive aggressive manner so that it is hard to call her out on it. Me, hubby and even her father still have done so. I just sat there and listened how she widened her eyes, trying to look sweet (something she does every time she want something) and giving all the reasons why we should give the money, without counting the voucher we gave her. I then regain my wits and just say the full sentence she didn’t want to hear. *Me*: No *SIL*: But you have the money. *ME*: I have money, that is true. *SIL*: So you can pay for it. *ME*: I could indeed…. *SIL*: (interrupting me) Oh that’s great! *ME*:.... but I won’t. *SIL*: But, but, but we deserve it, you won’t miss it, we’re family (yep, unfortunately you and I are family now, I love being family of your kids however) *ME*: Fact: we’re indeed family. Fact: we all deserve a nice holiday after the fluff show called COVID. False: I would surely miss it, since it won’t be in the bank account. (intended that one as a joke). *SIL and BIL*: continue rant about how much they think I should pay for it. *ME*: Listen, you have shown many times you do not respect me or my line of work. You do not respect the fact I worked very hard, made sacrifices to earn this money. You do not respect the fact that I have paid off your mortgage, paid for the college education of your kids and even some money for their own place. You badmouth me, call me names and even told people hubby should divorce me. SIL is trying so hard to deny it. BIL calls me a liar. FIL joins in and sides with me. Her own children tell their father that they have heard their own mother say horrible things about me. Birthday boy even recorded one conversation she had with someone while he was making a TikTok video. He showed this. BIL went mute. Conversation continues. *SIL*: (notices she won’t get the expensive holiday she wanted.) Fine, then don’t pay for this holiday. The least you can do is pay for our plane tickets and let us stay at your holiday home/favourite holiday destination. (Remember, I rent it out to a local family for most of the year? Due to COVID they have to stay there as they can’t/are afraid to travel.) *ME*: not happening. First of all, the family can’t leave. Second, you don’t get to make demands. The voucher you got has a very generous amount of money on it for you to use the way you please. Maybe toward a holiday. Third, we already went on a paid by us/ me holiday. So you got a paid for holiday already. Fourth, if you want more money then get a job that will pay more. You have a degree. Last, you treat me like crap and still expect me to just hand over my hard earned money?! SIL starts the water works and turns to her father… who completely sided with me. He told her he understood me. He told her he knew how hard I worked and the sacrifices me and hubby made for this. Hubby is pissed. He sees red and tells his sister in no uncertain terms that this won’t be happening and how dare they! He tells her that we’re leaving. We pack up the kids and go home. Later we get a call. MIL has FM tendencies as this SIL is her favourite. She tries the whole spiel on how hard they had it before I came into money and helped them, etc. Hubby dealt with her perfectly and she understood after a lengthy conversation. Now here is where I just laugh. Apparently SIL’s kids are pissed that she pulled this stunt and went full rebel mode. We have a great relationship and seemed afraid that this would influence it. They managed to come by and we had a heart to heart. I told them we didn’t blame them for the actions of their parents. I explained to them the reasons for not handing out money like that after the initial gifts. the youngest seemed to side more with mum and dad, but the rest said they understood. They know about their generous college/home funds. I stated to them that we wouldn’t want for them to do anything against their parents as they still live there. They stayed for dinner and then went home. As of now, the kids are barely talking to their parents. They still do their chores, let them know things but that’s it. FM in the form of other family members came in as SIL had sent them messages and called them. A simple facebook post by Birthday Boy with the video put a stop to that. SIL and BIL had an enormous backlash by the FM, calling them out. They have been uninvited to certain events. We have received apologies from the FM. Some told me that they had a hard time as they understood both her and me. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that my PIL are caught in the middle. Especially my MIL who is very family-oriented. I know some of you might/will wonder why I just won’t give the money. One of the reasons why is the way she has treated me, even before I came into the money. Another reason is, that I simply feel uncomfortable just handing out money. I simply ask you to give your opinion in a kindly fashion. AITA for not paying? [**You paid for them? You pay for us!**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/i7pi52/you_paid_for_them_you_pay_for_us/) submitted August 2020 Burneraccount. Long story once more. I was the one who's SIL demanded that I'd pay for a holiday. Here is a part 2. So SIL was very disappointed and angry that I didn't bow down to her every whim and paid for a holiday. For those who read my first post know that I'm well off, thanks to hard work and some luck. We had some FM (flying monkeys) come in because of my SIL. Most backed down and understood where we stood and left us alone. Unfortunately, the whole family of my DH now knows that we have a bank account with $$$$ on it. As SIL had called a lot of family members to complain (and spill the beans), they began talking amongst themselves and their children. Some of the aunts, uncles, and cousins didn't think it fair that I paid for some college funds for some of children of cousins and that I paid for a family holiday. To note: I only have college funds for the children of cousins who we have a close relationship with. That's about 6 cousins with around 12 kids. I'm in this family for almost 20 years and I only see the majority of the aunts, uncles and cousins on the yearly/bi yearly family reunion...if everybody comes. I haven't seen some of them in around 5 to 10 years. A couple of days after the fallout with SIL an A&U ( aunt & uncle) call, something they never do. I put my phone on speaker as I was busy with folding the laundry. They ask how everything is going, how were holding up during the COVID and such. We exchange some experencies and then they both go like this. This is the start of the convo. *A&U*: Listen, we hear you have some college funds set up for some of the children of certain cousins. Is that true? *Me*: Yes, that's true (I'm no liar). *A&U*: Is it true that you took MIl, FIL, SIL1, SIL 2 and family with you on holiday? *Me*: Yes. *A&U*: You also have a holiday home, yes? *Me*: We do, but why do you want and need to know? *A&U*: We never knew you had so much money. *Me*: Well, a lot of hard work, sacrifices, dedication and luck were part of it. *A&U*: Aha. Well, you have to pay for our grandchildren's college funds as well. And we want to go on a holiday with our children too. We deserve it too. *Me*: .....( shocked silence) *A&U*: We're family so you HAVE TO pay! *Me*....( less shocked silence) *A&U*: Yes, we want college funds for your 6 grandchildren, each consisting of $800,000 dollars for each child and we want a holiday home like yours but in location X. We already have one we want. We'll send you the information. And that also goes for our family holiday. We're family and since you have the money, you can pay for us too. *Me*:...( pissed of silence.) They continue to rant that they deserve it because they're family and family takes care of each other. My Hubby, meanwhile, had heard everything and was getting angrier. I had pressed a record button halfway through the convo and ask them to repeat their demands. I eventually asked them if they had more to say which they hadn't. I just flat out said that it wasn’t going to happen. That they might think they're entitled to my money but they weren't. I quoted the phrase they and many of the family gave us when Hubby and I didn't have the money and were in a tight spot because we had a health scare. We asked every family member if we could borrow some money and we would pay it back. Only 3 of the 9 aunts and uncles helped us and we paid them back. The quote? 'It is your responsibility to have and save enough money for the care, well being and education of your family. If you can't then you don't deserve them. We won't be giving you any money.' Stunned silence on their side. I told them to relay the message to the rest and not to call us with such demands. And I hung up the phone. Hubby was very proud. In the weeks that followed the some other the aunts, uncles and cousins called with the same. Only those aunts/uncles who helped us in our time of need called and told us to say that it is our money and that they have seen plenty of it and don't ask for more. One cousin called and asked for a certified loan for a downpayment on a house, something I have agreed to. They had the majority saved but came short of $1000. They had to pay for it sooner as they could get the house sooner.Just now I saw that I received the first half of it. That also raised hell. Then, with the aunts, uncles and cousins we had a Zoom call and I explained to them my reasons for not doing this. I told them that they could always come when they truly needed financial help, but under legal contracts so that neither party would feel themselves screwed over. Cousin who borrowed money even showed the certified/notarised loan. Most seem to understand, not entirely happy, but they knew they could come for help. But for some it wasn't. Then came the cherry on top. I came home last week on a weekday to find a lot of parked cars in an otherwise almost empty street. I had to pass my house in order to park somewhere else and around 15-20 of aunts, uncles and cousins had gathered in the front yard (so much for social distancing.) Afterwards, it were 3 aunts, 3 uncles and some cousins and their spouses. I park the car and walk back home. Now here is something that few people know. I have security cameras around my home that record sound as well. Another thing that a few people know, don't mess with me. I am told that my right hook is very painful. So while walking back, I called the non-emergency line of our local police station. I told them the situation and telling them that crap might hit the fan. If they could come and assist in case it got out of hand. They would send some cops. And crap hit the fan. The moment I stepped in sight of people, they started screaming, cursing, telling me to pay up or they will make sure that I'll pay, one way or the other, all the while cornering me. Some of them poked their finger close to my face and in my chest and arms. I told them multiple times to stop what they were doing and leave. Some time through this, more cops were called by some neighbours as well and when they arrived, were trying to get to me. Then one uncle made a mistake. He slapped me. A man of about 6"3 slapped me, a woman of just 5"2 across the face in full view of the cops. The crowd went silent as he put his face almost in my face and went on a rant that I had to obey HIM as one of the elders of the family, all the while with his hand raised as he would slap me again. He couldn't continue his rant. I knocked him to the ground. He stayed down, not unconcious but quite rattled and stunned that I had punched him. This was apparently what the cops needed as well. The family members were stunned and the cops managed for them to get away from me. They were pissed. A couple of the aunts, uncles and cousins managed to make a run to their car and drive away. The rest got to meet with some very angry cops, some fines for breaking social distancing rules and the expectation that charges might be pressed against them. To shorten the novel already. I'm fine, had some bruised fingers, uncle had a broken cheeckbone, of my lovely cameras are now in the hands of the DA. The other family members have distanced themselves from the crap that happened. To be honest, I feel really crappy. I feel like dividing a family because I just don't hand out my money. Hubby says that this is money that I worked hard for, so I get to decide what happens. Still, I'm thinking of setting some college funds aside for the rest of the children, thought I'm doubting that. It would also seem that I don't stand my ground and can be persuaded with violence, threats and harrassment. I'm so, so sick of it. Edit: To keep myself from repeating. I’ve pressed charges against my uncle for the little love tap he gave me. Thankfully my uncle has not filed counter charges for the love tap I gave him in return. I've been told he asked for anger management courses and a phychological evaluation without prompts. His statement is that he got carried away and felt he was being egged on. He also wrote that he was extremely sorry and never meant to hurt me. I don't know what to believe. I know this behaviour is out of character for him. He and his wife also contacted my lawyer with a written apology already. All those present had to give statements and one red thread emerged. They were there because the aunt and uncle who called me first (the ones from this post) had said they all should and see if they could convince me. As for charges concerning the others who were present. My lawyer is looking if they can get charges to stick for harrassment. He is also looking if The Instigators can be charged with a number of things. That guy is having a field day, he loves this. Those who were not involved have sent texts, called and sent me emails telling me that they're sorry for the behaviour of their spouse/sibling/parent. They have not asked me to drop charges or anything though. Just apologies. [**Update: You paid for them? You pay for us!**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/i89zgg/update_you_paid_for_them_you_pay_for_us/) submitted August 2020 A short update on my previous post. I also want to cover some of the comments without repeating myself. I find it hard to answer to all. I still wanted to thank you all for your comments and opinions. I will try to cover everything. Thank you for the awards! I know that some people might think it's fake. That's OK. I still wish it was. What I want to start with is that this behaviour is out of character. This is my Hubby's family and they have always been hardworking themselves, saved money and family orientated. They did/do not all have jobs that earn(ed) a lot. Them not loaning money when we needed it, is because they don't like loaning money. They were afraid not getting it back as they also needed it. However, the comment they made then hurt. We talked about it at the time. They understood it then and apologised. Also, Hubby and I have a strong feeling that Blabbermouth SIL has said some things to them for them to go nuts. At the moment this is just a hunch, we'll see what time will tell us. So for them to pounce on me like this is not normal behaviour for them. It doesn't change a thing though. Since the incident I have talked to cousins, aunts and uncles. On advice of my lawyer(L) I sent an email that I do not want to be contacted by them at this point as the 'Visitors' might face a lawsuit as does Little Love tap Uncle (LLTU). I gave them the contact information of L if they so wish or need. I asked them to respect this. I also adviced the Visitors and LLTU to find legal advice due to the circumstances. As of now, they respect this as we have not received calls, texts and emails. Only one cousin is in contact with Hubby. This is the cousin who has the certified loan and thus we need to be in contact with each other. He told Hubby that the Visitors and LLTU are very ashamed of themselves and realise they fluffed up enormously. He has heard some talk about mediation. LLTU even cried in front of him. A man who never cries. It seems genuine, but I'm cautious. I've read the responses and don't feel guilty anymore. I'm a person who helps when needed, always have. Even when we didn't have a lot of money people were always welcome to stay for dinner and a night or two to get back on her feet. I have always felt lucky and blessed that I had a roof over my head, 3 meals a day and clothes on my back. Hubby and I discussed that we won't be offering any kind of funds for the other family members, their children or grandchildren. However, we are open for certified loans like cousin has but have decided that we won't be sharing this view for now. I'm not going to punish people for the actions of their parents/grandparents. Some people said that I should move and change my number. No, I won't do that. I'm not going to move because of what happened. We live in a safe neighbourhood with neighbours who take care of each other. Also, as of now, this is an isolated incident. I did block them on my phone and social media. My number is known to many official authorities. And again, as this is an isolated incident for the time being I won't. Hubby chose not to block them and any contact of them has been through him, in case they want to message him and they say things that could be used in court. He wants to keep tabs on them for as far as that is possible. I'm OK with this. All the correspondence has been saved. L and I have a Zoom call planned for the next week. I have let him know what cousin said. He also hopes to have heard something from the DA then. He said that mediation is an option and wouldn't be surprised if the DA would look into this if the Visitors and LLTU are open for this idea. There might still be legal consequences for them. He has some ideas but it also depends on the DA and what the Visitors and LLTU plead. L told me that he had some time to read some of the statements and view parts of the footage. Up until now their stories are consistent with the footage he's seen. At this point I want that their actions are recorded somewhere and have consequences for them. You do not get to threaten me, possibly my family, and harm me without getting your behind kicked at least once. Let them be scared crapless at this point. The footage is in the hands of the DA and my lawyer. Also, a neighbour has also recorded what happened and that is also in the hands of the DA and my lawyer. Neighbour also gave a statement. I also have the footage saved in other places. You never know. Neighbours know what happened. I sent them flowers with an apology for the disturbance. They appreciated the gesture. Neighbours are not afraid thankfully and have promised to keep an eye on things. (Angel neighbours really) I don't consider myself a hero. I just try to be a decent human being. I don't flaunt the fact we have money. We live in a normal home in a normal street. We don't wear expensive clothes. The car I bought 10 years ago was brand new then and the baby is still going strong. It has some dents and scratches on it, but the baby works. I'm not going to buy a new car if this one is still working. Same goes for Hubby's car. Kids have their own chores and get pocket money, but if they want something extra they can do extra chores for some extra spending money. They also have to save part of their pocket money. We want to teach them the value of money. The eldest realises that we have a filled bankaccount, but has also seen what it has cost. Kiddo's want a Switch at the moment, so their saving money for that now. We will pay for a certain amount and the rest they have to get for themselves. So we just try to be an average family. I hope I covered all the comments and questions. Thanks again for reading. [**And more family came out of the woodwork.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/k9ed9b/and_more_family_came_out_of_the_woodwork/) submitted December 2020 I thought to give a little info about the current going ons here. The cast: LLTU = Little love tap uncle, the one who slapped me. The Visitors = aunts, uncles and cousins who came to try and 'persuade' me to give them money. L= our lovely lawyer. Blabbermouth= SIL who couldn't keep her mouth shut and blabbed all kinds of things to the family. CLC= Certified loan cousin, cousin who asked and got a certified loan. He has since paid it back. First. I am dealing with some health issues. Not COVID related thankfully, but I will need some surgery. There will be a law suit against LLTU and the Visitors. When? Date is set for January at this point. Let's hope it doesn't get postponed. Hubby and I have written a letter that our L could read in court in the case we won't be able to be there, either in person or on a videocall. Blabbermouth's role is becoming clearer but since we don't have the full picture yet, I will update later. LLTU had a minor fracture of his cheek bone apparently. Nothing major and he didn't need any surgery. Hubby, L. And I have had some good and honest conversations about my own behaviour. L. is a friend I know from way back and he says that although I am quite the gentle soul, I can also be a strict, direct and have a no nonsense attitude. I have always been family oriented and wanting to help others. Unfortunately this has proved to be my downfall. L and Hubby agree that I can be more no-nonsense and stricter when it comes to family as well. I recognize this. I tend to sweep things under the rug because 'family'. Stupid, stupid me. Since then, I get great feedback from the both of them and have sought out a therapist who says I have made improvements. Since the Visit, Hubby and I have been contacted by many family members from his side. Mostly to ask questions about as they just heard one side of the story and things were unclear to them. Some of them were understanding about the situation. They were honest that they felt left out but as one cousin said it 'To be honest, I would not have thought of you either if something like this would've happened to me.' They repeated they would appreciate any gesture but that it was not their money to decide. Unfortunately there were some family members who came to the defence of the Visitors and 'What was the big deal? I had plenty of money. Just share as you won't miss it.' (here we go again). They have been sending us messages on a daily basis (hello harassment charges!) telling us that we were selfish people and that family should share when good luck came their way. Then one day we received a request for a Zoom call from a cousin who had not spoken to us at all. We accepted.... only to find out that it was the virtual ambush of the Visit. Some family members had gathered online from their separate homes to 'talk to us'. They got to minutes before I made it clear I wanted to say something. *Me*: I want to say something. *People*: OK *Me*: So you want us to share the money. *People*: Yes. (lot of behind-kissing comments like 'Really?! You're the best) *Me*: First I want $2000 from each of you. *People*: cry in outrage. Loads and loads of comments and then one of them said the magical words: 'Why would I give you that amount of money? Me and my partner work hard for that money and now you just demand that amount? You can't do that! We all work hard for that money!' *Me*: So do we. What makes you think then that you can make the same demands of us AND expect us to give in to them?' I will be honest that I loved the embarrassed silence that followed. CLC was part of it and said that when he heard about it, he called for a certified loan for the downpayment on his home. He then went on about the terms of the loan and that according to the lawyer he had asked to review it was a good document. Strict yes, but it protected both sides. Hubby and I did tell them that CLC was given the loan because he asked for it NICELY and agreed to a certified loan. One of them asked if we would do that again. We told them point blank that if they would want to borrow money we wouldn't be sure to agree to it because of a couple of things. 1. They behaved like entitled people and treated us like crap. 2. You don't get to treat people like this and then go kissing their behind the moment you want something. 5. They all have jobs. Save for it if it is something that is considered a luxury. 4. The circumstances might change so maybe we would not even be able to help. 6. IF and that's a big IF we decide to help out, we want the most minuscule details about what the money is needed for and they have to agree to a certified loan. Most people back out as they don't want strings attached (or a claim made on their car, house etc). It was very very silent for a while. I told them that I had a good idea they wanted money because they wanted a more luxurious car or remodel the kitchen/bathroom/whatever in the house while it was still working and no hazard or in need of replacing. Maybe they wanted to buy that fancy item they coveted for a while or a game console for their kids. Save up for it. More silence and embarrassed shifting on their part. Hubby told them to stop harassing us. We were being blamed by tearing the family apart but their own greed was doing that. Up until now there were no problems and we all went along just fine. Now money comes in the picture and almost everyone changes in to money hungry morons. (yep, his words). He became very emotional as he said that this wasn't the family he grew up with and that he hated it to see them changed so much. Then the apologies came from some of them. We then left the Zoom meeting telling them that we only wanted to hear from them if they came with an apology first and not to contact us as we needed space. Some have texted us those apologies and Hubby had some phone conversations with them. Others have not changed their status from money hungry moron and keep texting us all kind of wailing stories about how much they need/deserve money. One cousin even texted me saying that I deserved that slap in my face. I was not blood and should therefore just bow down to the 'will of the family'. He even told Hubby to 'get his wife back under control and be a good family member'. He keeps harrassing us and made some comments that hint on me being hit again. I simply said if he had talked to LLTU and how his broken cheekbone felt. Those comments stopped and CLC told me that he suspects that Cousin didn't want to meet my right fist as Cousin talked to him about it and had been hinting something along those lines. Every text is saved and go into a big big USB flash drive for L to get started on some nice Cease and Desist letters as some may know them. LLTU and the Visitors have stopped contact when asked and advised to. So that was the update up to this point. On a more positive note. CLC and his GF had bought their house and when it was done we were invited to visit it (mask wearing and keeping distance). They turned a house into a home. It was good to see the pride and joy coming from them.

The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws, part 1

REPOST

BORU_Lover

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzs61/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_1/

zmztmz

Go grab some snacks and a blanket, this is suuuuuper long. I compiled it in a Microsoft Word document and it’s 43 pages 😳😳 These posts were made by Burneraccount-909876, almost entirely in r/EntitledPeople. It was [previously posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/paev3n/buckle_up_this_is_a_long_and_wild_ride_op/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) on BORU by simply posting all the links of the posts that had been put up at that time. The update will be separated by 🆕🆕🆕🆕🆕 about halfway through “PART 3”. I made some minor formatting edits, but everything else I pasted exactly as-is. [PART 1]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzs61/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_1/), [PART 2]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmztmz/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_2/), [PART 3]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzvwr/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_3/), [PART 4]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzxd6/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_4/), [PART 5]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzyx3/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_5/) ——— [**The aftermath concerning 'The Visit' Part 1: explanation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/mw1yx3/the_aftermath_concerning_the_visit_part_1/) submitted April 2021 A lot has happened in the past couple of months. Due to the fact that it was an enormous amount of text I cut the update in more parts. A short summary of the people involved: Visitors: aunts, uncles and cousins who ambushed me at my home demanding money. LLTU: Little love tap uncle. Uncle who gave me a slap in the face. L= Lawyer friend First I want to say that I have read all the comments. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment on it. Also, I had my surgery and I’m recovering, slowly but steadily. Hubby and the kids help me a lot. Bless them. I also read some speculation about the college funds. First of all, where I live college isn't insanely expensive like in the USA.These funds should suffice for community college type education or trade school, making it less expensive than private or top universities. Another point is that the funds only covers a good part of tuition and books. No rent, extra curricular activities or living expenses. So it doesn't cost millions like some people speculated. The mortgages were not entirely paid off, but I gave SIL/BIL and my brother an amount which helped them a lot. They have paid off the rest themselves. My investments (they were done before hubby was in the picture) were in some companies and technologies that have since grown. Not all investments have paid off but some did. We count ourselves very lucky. Part of it goes to our retirement funds and to charities at home and abroad. I’ve asked for investment advice from a professional when I decided to do that. I was about 23 when I did. I also followed some courses on how to invest. Also, I noticed that someone on the TubeYou used my stories and I’ve read the responses. Some people asked why I would help a SIL who behaves the way she did. Well, we love her kids and it was more for them then for SIL and BIL. Another reason was that we wanted to keep things fair, if that’s possible. I now know that this might not have been the smartest move. The last reason was is that we had seen decent behaviour for some time, so we figured that manners had been learned. Now back to the situation with a bit of backstory. Last time we left of is that a couple of aunts, uncles and cousins came by for a visit to demand and scream for money. One of the uncles earned the title of Little love tap Uncle (LLTU) for the little love tap he gave me. One of the cousins who had a loan has paid everything back. I asked the family not to contact me but to contact my lawyer (L) instead. They have mostly respected that. They did ask for a Zoom call in which they could explain everything. L, Hubby and I agreed to do so after the court cases would be over with. Also, the $800,000 was a total for all the grandchildren of the remaining family members. I finally got that one clear. Some people doubted that and thus I went over the recording again. Sorry for the misinformation. We later found out that they had just come up with a number and would just see how it would end. LLTU’s broken cheekbone was not broken, just severely bruised. The grapevine is not always reliable.Also, we had some harassment from family members after the virtual ‘Visit’. On to the update. I don’t know all the details of the court cases as I couldn’t be present (not COVID but other health related issue), let me say that first. Also, due to COVID most of the conversations were through online meetings. LLTU was charged for trespassing, assault and threatening to cause bodily harm and he pled guilty. His lawyer said that he has been following anger management courses on his own and reports from the therapist and another (court ordered) psychologist confirm what we thought. That this is not like him and he regrets everything he’s done. Judge gave LLTU a very hard time from what L told me. Judge did not take kindly that a man would hit a woman. LLTU was asked some tough questions by the judge, the main was as to why he did it. Well now it gets juicy. It seems that Blabbermouth threw plane loads of kerosene on a fire that before her calls and texts didn’t even exist. You see, the family didn't know that we had money as we had asked those who did to keep their mouths shut. That was respected...until now. Blabbermouth called LLTU and the rest of the family telling them about the money and how we refused to ‘share’ it with family. Then came the lies. Blabbermouth turned on the waterworks, telling them and other family members that I made fun of their financial situation, flaunted my wealth and was overall mean, disrespectful and spiteful. She played the victim to them all, accusing me of horrible things. She then continued to say that I made fun of the rest of the family, for their choices of life, jobs, ambitions and so much more. To keep a long story shorter, she pushed all the buttons and pushed them deep. The reason the rest of the Visitors went crazy was again thanks to Blabbermouth, who really knows how to push people’s buttons. That woman deserves an Oscar for her performance. LLTU (and Visitors) apologized, for whatever that’s worth. Judge asked if L had some input from our side. L read a letter we wrote. L told Judge that we were deeply hurt by what had happened. That no ill will, harm or disrespect was ever meant towards any of them. We chose to do with the money as we saw fit and would always have been willing to help. But having money does not mean that it should handed out like it is dust in the wind. L also told the judge that we are very angry for their entitlement and behaviour, them showing up and of course the slap in my face. I (used to) respect them a lot but I will not accept this behaviour from anyone and asked the judge to have justice served. If that meant a sentence and record, then so be it. Why would I feel any compassion for people who felt the need to attack me? LLTU was sentenced with 18 months of community services and a fine, plus court costs. He also has to continue the anger management courses for at least another year. An evaluation will determine whether or not something needs to be done after that. This will go on some sort of record from what I've told. I have accepted this. The Visitors were also charged for harassment and threatening a person.They pled guilty and had to pay a hefty fine along with 6 months of community service. This is something I also have accepted. Before I forget, they had already received and paid fines for breaking social distancing laws. Some other family members have received the equivalent of a cease and desist letter from L after the virtual ‘Visit’, since some kept harassing us. It has been quiet ever since. This was part 1. I will give an update soon about what happened after the court cases. [**The aftermath concerning 'The Visit' Part 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/myr5g2/the_aftermath_concerning_the_visit_part_2/) submitted April 2021 Burneraccount. After the court cases we arranged a Zoom call with the aunts, uncles and cousins involved in which the whole story became clear and not only what LLTU told in court. Thus the part that Blabbermouth played became entirely clear. L and their lawyer were present. They apologised and explained they felt really hurt and angry and that Blabbermouth insisted that they went ‘for their rightful share’ as ‘they deserved it because of the hurtful things that I said, they were family and deserved it’. ‘That family shares.’ Blabbermouth told them she did it and that it worked. They also repeated the insults and horrible actions that I committed according to Blabbermouth. They felt hyped up by her. That and greed got the best of them. They understand that this money is for us to do as we please. Our relationship is not the same and won’t ever be. They seemed to understand that we're not able nor willing to forget this attack on me, my character and to an extent my hubby as well. To be sure, I have a no–contact order against them for at least a year. It also dawned on them that one breach of the order will ensure they get to meet law enforcement once again, as I don’t back down. They also realise that if we were ever willing to help out financially in forms of loans, they annihilated that chance. We have been brutally honest with each other. I was pissed. I told them that they are adults who should have known better than to jump to conclusions. I was calm and collected when family members contacted me, now I wasn't. I let everything go. I told them to at least have the decency and soundness of mind ask the other party/parties involved for their side of the story and to listen to that side with an open mind. I tore them all a new one. I was brutal according to hubby and L. I treated the family to 20 minutes of brutal honesty. Even Hubby and L said they were impressed to the point of scared. After a lot of talking, the call ended. The relationship might not ever heal, but at least we discussed everything. I have my peace with that. If they could do this, then I don't want them as family. L thought that I had learned my own lesson about not letting family off the hook easily just because they were family. However, some family members who were not involved in 'The Visit' contacted me after the ‘Virtual Visit’. They wanted to know how it was possible to earn/get so much money. I shared some info about investing and gave them a number for advice if they wanted. With the number came the warning that investing has its risks. I earned a lot of money but I also lost plenty of it. They should not be investing if it will put them in debt. They thanked me for the warning. In regards to college funds or whatever for them. We won't be doing that. Simply because we won't want anyone to think that such things can be achieved by this behaviour. I didn't really have a relationship with them, but still. You don't treat family or any other person like this. Hubby is still shaken that the mostly generous family he knew did what they did and treated him and me the way they did. I hope he will be all right in the long run. So that is the part of the LLTU and the Visitors. I wonder what the future will bring. [**Apologies- Hacked**](https://www.reveddit.com/v/EntitledPeople/comments/n0wn79/apologies_hacked/) submitted April 2021 This account of mine was hacked. I received an email someone changed my password. Since I had a health scare I couldn't change it fast enough. For the AH that did that. Really? Do something useful with your time instead of hacking accounts and posting d*ckpics. [**The aftermath concerning Blabbermouth Part 1**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/nz4tyk/the_aftermath_concerning_blabbermouth_part_1/) submitted June 2021 First of all, my apologies it took so long. I was hacked and it took the mods some time to restore my account. Last post is what happened to LLTU, Visitors and the aftermath concerning them. This is about Blabbermouth, my oh so lovely (not) SIL who instigated the whole mess. Well, 2 of her kids moved out after a very bad fight with her. The eldest (26F) and her BF already had a home waiting and just moved in. The renovations are not finished but she said she didn’t care. They sleep on air mattresses in one of the bedrooms and the rest of the house is a mess as they still needed to renovate a lot. Second kid (24M) is staying with his GF at her parents house where he helps with bills. Both have gone NC with their parents after founding out what happened due to their mother. Two of the kids (21, 19) are pissed off as heck but could not move out but aren’t speaking to her and sleep at their friends’ places a lot. The 17-year old sides with his mother, though. But he's the baby and Blabbermouth has always spoiled him. I've read comments about how people suggested we could cut Blabbermouth's children off. No, I'm not going to do that. The 17-year old 'did a Blabbermouth' in regards of demanding money. I frankly said that if he wanted an education largely paid for by Hubby and I, he will stop with what he is doing and meet the requirements that come with the money for college. Otherwise, bye bye money. I told him that if he starts acting and behaving like his mother, then bye bye money. ETA: Yes, the money comes with requirements, very strict requirements. Don't meet the requirements, the moneyflow stops. I'm not entirely stupid. So far, he has stopped. His siblings tell me he is quite hilarious when he throws his temper tantrums about this. BIL and Blabbermouth also seem not amused by my standpoint in this situation. Like I care. The rest of the family also let her know what they thought. They called her, gave her a piece of their minds and went full blown NC. Blabbermouth and BIL are now pariahs in the family. Some cousins would help them with a paint job, not happening. Another uncle who checks their car every year for a reduced fee, told them to find another garage for help. Another cousin would renovate their roof. He gave the money back they had paid and told them to find someone else. MIL is heartbroken. That hurts. I don’t think she ever thought her own child could and would do this and break up the family. She still has contact with the grandkids but her and Blabbermouth’s relationship is strained. Same goes for FIL. Every Saturday we would have coffee with immediate family (MIL, FIL, Blabbermouth & BIL and the kids if they had time, us, and other SIL). We still see them but we don't go there if we know Blabbermouth will be coming too or is there already. That has meant that the times we were there and saw her coming, we immediately packed our things and left. Blabbermouth had been badgering Hubby, me and the kids, alternating about how sorry she is and that she didn’t mean for this to happen and acting like she did nothing wrong. One time she called Hubby who put the phone on speaker once as I was curious as heck and wanted to hear how she dug herself deeper into a pile of crap. She didn’t disappoint. I had to laugh hysterically when she spewed her crap through the phone. Told her that if she didn’t want to happen, then why did she do it? Why did she tell all those lies? She just wanted money and employed the family as her minions to do her bidding. Because if I paid for them, I could pay for her right? She was silent. L is looking if any legal action can be taken against Blabbermouth. He has been given the texts from the family and from us. At this point slander, instigation for harassment and violence, and harassment itself are the ones he’s collecting evidence for. He digs deep, he wants everything so he can throw it at her. He has even contacted the family to see if they were willing to hand over the texts voluntarily. Most did. Blabbermouth has been blocked from both our phones, email and social media after the last phone call. After she found out she had been blocked, she came to our home to try and sweet talk her way out of it. BIL also came. They even came together on times they knew that Hubby would be out and try to intimidate/sweet talk me. My answer was to call the police. Next Blabbermouth tried to slander us to people in hometown. Unfortunately for her that backfired and she gets the skink eye from a lot of people in town. Then she did something that scared us a bit. One day a week my MIL picks up the youngest kids from school. They go with her, have a snack, are later joined by the eldest who goes to secondary school, they do their homework there and then they either eat there, we all eat there or we take them home for dinner. MIL is always early but due to a doctor's appointment she and FIL ran late. Blabbermouth was waiting at the school of our youngest kids. Why? We don't know. The kids thankfully saw her and stayed inside the school. Eldest son had finished school early and had decided to go to his siblings' school to go with them and MIL. He saw his aunt and walked inside the school to wait for MIL with his siblings. Blabbermouth left shortly after. School was brought up to date on the situation and promised to call the police immediately if she was spotted again. In the meantime, we are waiting for an approval for a NC order against her and BIL. We have also moved to a different place. Initially we didn't want to. But due to what happened we thought it might be best to do so. Other people heard what happened and were very friendly all of a sudden... In the town where my brother lives, there is a nice place. The house is similar to ours. Our kids also know kids their age so a school isn't a problem in that regard, They start there in September. Eldest can still go to his school as there is a good bus connection with a short bus ride. A good thing is that my brother lives on a 2-minute walk from our house and the neighbours are also very nice and welcoming. My parents have moved to a smaller home close by. And no, we didn't pay for it, my parents were adamant we wouldn't. The only thing we paid for was for the rent of a moving truck (and a good insurance for us as mommy dearest was frothing at the mouth because we paid for it. She doesn't want that.) When Hubby and I are working they come around sometimes to keep an eye on the house. We don't mind. They have never done anything to cause mistrust. We are looking into how we can protect ourselves further. Hubby, L and I are looking at all the legal things concerning this. Our house also has some security measures, like cameras with audio and video. They record and images are stored. At this point things are calming down. We are still close with hubby's other sister, my brother and other family members who were no part of the mess. So this was the update part one on Blabbermouth. I'll post the second part later. [**The aftermath concerning Blabbermouth Part 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/o6wgec/the_aftermath_concerning_blabbermouth_part_2/) submitted June 2021 Burneraccount. This is part 2 concerning Blabbermouth. We had a lot of conversations with FIL about Blabbermouth's antics. He thinks that her behaviour stems from jealousy. Hubby and I had some years of financial hardship before it got better. Even before we came into money, we lived a relatively comfortable life after we managed to get more financial stability. Blabbermouth, BIL and their family weren't dirt poor but they didn’t have as many holidays, weekends away or day trips as we did. It became less when our children were born but we still went away from time to time. (Hubby has a knack for finding deals for such things, eldest has been learning) FIL thinks that part of the jealousy started there and became worse after. I asked if she might think that we wanted to flaunt our new wealth to her. FIL thought it might. Hubby and I think her behaviour is twofold. We think that jealousy is indeed a part of it, but also entitlement. She always thinks that she and/or her own family should be part of/ in the spotlight and get something out of it, even if it is not about or for them. She seems to think that she deserves all kinds of things. According to Hubby this started in childhood and has continued into adulthood. I also asked my FIL why she disrespects me/my job. FIL stated that that may be jealousy as well. I managed to go through college and get my Bachelor and Master's degree. I've always worked, although less when our children were born. She didn't follow any higher form of education. She's got her education as a childcare provider for daycare centres and that's it. She stopped working for a number of years and has cleaned homes for a couple of years to earn a bit extra cash. FIL thinks that my 'educational rap sheet', as he jokingly called it, impressed her and made her jealous. I earned a great deal more before my investments started to generate money. I wonder if I did right by helping them out. My intentions were good. I know the importance of education and I knew that the kids would have difficulties following any form of college education without amassing a huge amount of debt, either for themselves or their parents. My parents worked hard to provide for my brother and I so that we wouldn’t need to start our adult lives with debt. Our nieces and nephews are very grateful for everything we did and do for them. They know about all the effort that went in it. At this point we are also no contact with BIL and Blabbermouth. They don't know our current address and we have a PO box in a different town. I also changed my phone number although I kept the other one for business purposes and to gather evidence. We have been awarded with a temporary No Contact order from the court. Blabbermouth and BIL are not allowed contact in any way, not even through a third party. We are trying to get one for at least a year, maybe 2 if that's possible. She is also facing charges of defamation, instigating violence and harrassment. L is digging deep and throwing anything he legally can at her. The one thing I'm grateful of is that our friends never changed. They knew and they didn't care. They said that they knew that we had money and that it didn't matter to them. That what mattered is that we were there for and with them in the good and the bad times. MIL and FIL do know where we live but they don't have the address on paper. Hubby drove them over one time. Hubby made it very clear to MIL that under no circumstance is she going to show or tell anyone else where we live. People want to see us? She can pass on the message and phone number to us and we'll call them. Reason for this? Well, MIL has a soft spot for Blabbermouth. MIL has been asking if any reconciliation was possible. We said 'At this point, no. Blabbermouth is not even remotely sorry for what she has done. She is trying to deny everything that happened and even tries to blame us. She has destroyed our relationships with family members on her own. So no.' MIL tried to get us to forgive Blabbermouth as she didn't mean it, didn't want it to happen and such. Truth be told, I lost my cool at that point. I love MIL to death, really I do. She is such a sweet lady and has done so, so much for us. Especially concerning our children. But I told her the same thing as I told Blabbermouth. That she should be happy with the things that were given to her and her children. But NOOOOOO, she had to get greedy. I got slapped for crying out loud, I got threats agains my life, Hubby's life and the lives of my children. Even if it was said in the heat of the moment, like what the actual heck? Eventually I got up and left. Hubby and FIL talked to her and made it clear that it's not up to us to do anything to repair anything. That ball is in Blabbermouth's court. I did apologize to MIL for losing my cool but not for the message. That remained the same. This situation has shaken me to my core. I have done things that go against my nature. Even without money and even debt, people were always welcome to eat at our table and stay over. Now I keep wondering if people tell me their sob stories because they want money from me and not care about me as a person. Just an ATM, nothing more. Do I regret helping out? Yes and no. The 4 eldest children of Blabbermouth are doing great. Same goes for other SIL, my parents and my brother and his family. CLC is doing great. He and his GF have some plans for their home and are saving up to it. He asked for investment advice. I gave him websites for courses and the phone number of the person who helped me all those years ago. We also made a savings plan and I helped them budget (I do that as a volunteer for an organisation that helps people in debt). My regret is helping out Blabbermouth herself, letting her share in the good fortune. But I can't help but wonder. What would she have done if we wouldn't have helped her? Probably just the same. She'll rear her ugly head in my life from time to time, of that I’m sure. If that’s the case, my dear friend L will get the opportunity to sharpen his lawyer knives and have fun. As of now we are waiting for Blabbermouth's court case. [**Are you kidding me??!!**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/oc9xqr/are_you_kidding_me/) submitted July 2021 I don't believe it. This is a joke. It has to be a joke. L = Lawyer friend. First Joke. I think someone has found out where we live. We woke up last Sunday to find the tyres of the cars slashed. All.Of. Them. Not only that, it has some wonderful artwork on both sides of the car. (a.k.a. it was scratched) So what did lil' old me and Hubby do? If you guessed 'check the security footage' pat yourself on the back, you got it right. Our cars have dashcams that record 24/7 and are parked several streets over. Security measure number I-lost-track-of-them-all. We take them out, place another set and look at the footage while saving recordings.You can guess again who you think it was. Did you guess Blabbermouth? Them I'm sorry to disappoint you.It was one of Hubby's cousins, the one who thought that I should just hand over the money, 'Bow down to the will of the family' and that Hubby 'should get his woman in line'. Remember him? I certainly do. Police were called and we handed over security footage alongside pictures of said cousin's social media, address, phone number and email. Better be thorough right? Afterwards Hubby called his mother to see if she, either by accident or not, spilled the beans. For now she didn't. She and FIL are thinking hard if they might have missed something. I called my family and they are also thinking hard if they said something to someone. And second joke. Blabbermouth and BIL have filed a lawsuit against me and to an extent Hubby! Guess for what? If you guessed 'defamation' then dance your own wonderful dance. Since Blabbermouth is a social pariah in the family and in hometown she blames me for all her woes in this. People in hometown talked and a lot of people look at her with a upturned nose. They don't like that at all. Life has become somewhat uneasy for them (Hmmm, I wonder why?) She's claiming that I'm the one who apparently blabbed outrageous lies to people in the town's gossip machine and caused her drama. Fun part is.... it was her own mother. Because she was so upset with what was happening she talked and told a lot to a lot of people. L is still rolling over the ground laughing. They demand compensation for their 'ruined reputation'. They are willing to settle to 'keep it out of court'. He has already started on the answer. When I saw the letter I was angry and humored at the same time. Really Blabbermouth? That's your game plan now? Very well. Game's on. So who else's jaw has dropped to the depths of the sea?

The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws, part 2

REPOST

BORU_Lover

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmztmz/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_2/

zmzvwr

Go grab some snacks and a blanket, this is suuuuuper long. I compiled it in a Microsoft Word document and it’s 43 pages 😳😳 These posts were made by Burneraccount-909876, almost entirely in r/EntitledPeople. It was [previously posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/paev3n/buckle_up_this_is_a_long_and_wild_ride_op/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) on BORU by simply posting all the links of the posts that had been put up at that time. The update will be separated by 🆕🆕🆕🆕🆕 about halfway through “PART 3”. I made some minor formatting edits, but everything else I pasted exactly as-is. [PART 1]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzs61/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_1/), [PART 2]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmztmz/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_2/), [PART 3]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzvwr/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_3/), [PART 4]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzxd6/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_4/), [PART 5]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzyx3/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_5/) ——— [**Update on cousin and lawsuit**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/oshnnu/update_on_cousin_and_lawsuit/) submitted July 2021 I have a small update on the cousin who decided to use our car to vent his frustrations as well as on the lawsuit Blabbermouth hit us with. Cousin has probably lost his job or has a lot of trouble there. Apparently his boss got wind of the fact that he vandalised our cars and was caught on camera. Don't know how he found out and frankly, don't care. Boss is not happy, at all. From the family members that don't have a NC order against us we hear the 2 different tales. What I know for certain is that at cousin's job the stunt he pulled got him into serious trouble. We also have a temporary NC order against him. Damages are set to be fixed in 2 weeks time. Cousin has been told the amount of damages he has caused. He can pay for it out of his own pocket as of course insurance companies don't pay for idiots destroying other people's cars. He will also see the inside of a courtroom in either August or September. We also found out how he found our cars. His friend lives in the same neighbourhood as we. We didn't know this. Cousin seemed to have told his friend his version of events and his buddy told us he saw us in the neighbourhood. Wonder what friend thinks now, after what cousin did. As for the lawsuit. Let's get the people clear: L = Lawyer friend BL = Blabbermouth's lawyer My dear lawyer friend has had his batch of cookies and he loved them. He also replied to BL sending some of what he had on texts, voice mails and emails with the note that if Blabbermouth didn't drop the lawsuit we would counter file and demand compensation of whatever kind. There are people who thought that Blabbermouth lied to her lawyer. She (of course) did. She told a bunch of lies and decided to fabricate "evidence" to "prove" it. L saw it. BL didn't like it and dropped them as clients. I can't help but wanting to be a fly on the wall when BL told Blabbermouth that. Let's see what she'll do next. I'm halfway wondering if I should get a popcorn and a soda for this. [**How entitled cousin met Froufrou**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/p3qpb1/how_entitled_cousin_met_froufrou/) submitted August 2021 Hey people, I have another update on Entitled Cousin or EC for short. He's the douchecanoe that said I should bend to the will of the family. I'm out of ideas for a nickname. L (our lawyer friend) is also mentioned. We're still waiting for the court meeting but some charges are being added next to vandalism and destruction of personal property. No he didn't scratch our cars or slashed our tyres this time. Smart man. Chipotle is Instead he got to meet Froufrou, our neighbours' dog and our neighbour (N). As it is summer Hubby and I decided to go on a holiday in our own country again. Due to COVID we didn't feel going abroad to our holiday home. We are vaccinated although our children are not. We had a blast. Kids could go to the pool a couple of times (had to make reservations) and made friends with the other kids. Halfway through our holiday we got a call. Little big brother (younger but taller than me) of mine called to tell that EC had been arrested....again. This time the douchecanoe actually found our home. And you lovely people can try and guess what he did. Did he throw rocks through the windows? Nope. Did he spray graffiti on the house? Again nope. No, mister smartipants tried breaking in. Our home has a big wooden fence around our back yard, but the position of the wooden planks make it impossible or at least very difficult to climb them. EC had come in the dead of the night/ early morning hours and used a ladder to climb the fence. So he's in our back yard now, tools in hand. He starts getting busy trying to open our back door. (good luck with that) Our neighbour walks Froufrou quite early in the morning. So N takes Froufrou out for his first walk to pee/poop for the day quite early. Our neighbourhood loves the guy and his loyal friend. More than once has he found people at homes who should not be there. N and Froufrou walk and find themselves looking at a ladder standing against the fence of my house. N knows the situation and that we are not at home. N hears some noise at our back door and realises what is happening. So what does he do? He lets Froufrou climb the ladder and jump into our yard. Froufrou sees EC and starts growling. Who is Froufrou? Froufrou is the sweet, caring, funny, big and protective as heck Cane Corso of N. How did he get the name Froufrou? Well, N's wife loves 'Beauty and the beast' and the little dog turned seat has the name Froufrou. So EC sees Froufrou, who is not amused at seeing a stranger in 'his' yard. EC is apparently not so smart and throws a couple of tools in Froufrou's direction. Froufrou is having none of it, barks and charges. EC barely manages to climb on a table before Froufrou gets to him. Froufrou is a trained dog so he doesn't bite until ordered to. Meanwhile N is standing on the ladder pissing his pants at the girly screams of EC while calling the guys and gals in blue. EC is taken away in the back of a police car and has to stay in jail until his hearing. L demanded that he not be released until his hearing. The NC order is apparently not sufficient to keep him away. We managed to send the security footage to the legal people involved. Froufrou got some nice doggy snacks and N and his wife were also thanked. I have to admit one thing though. When we got back the kids went to spend the night at their friends for some slumberparty time. Hubby and I went to watch the footage. It was gold. And yes, we grabbed ourselves some drinks and a popcorn to watch it...again and again. [**And now my own extended family knows as well**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/pa1fhk/and_now_my_own_extended_family_knows_as_well/) submitted August 2021 Burneraccount. Title basically says it. My own extended family found out that I have money as well. I don't have a lot of aunts and uncles left, plenty of cousins though as dad had 6 sisters who all had children. Only 4 cousins are younger than I am. I haven't spoken to them in like 20 years and the only times I have spoken with them was at a funeral of one of the aunts and uncles. I have no relationship with them. I received several messages of cousins who heard through a lot of people that I had money. When I read this, I was mentally preparing for yet another shit storm. Yep, they was pissed. They wanted to know why I didn't tell anyone? One of them ranted and raved about how unfair everything was and I could have let them know and yada yada yada. When she finally was done I asked (perhaps rather rudely) if she was done and if I could explain. I made one group and I wrote the whole story of what was happening in that group. I ended with the words, in bold, underlined and huge letters 'THIS IS WHY I NEVER TOLD YOU!!!!' Several were shocked that what happened did happen. I asked them why they were upset I didn't tell them. No one really answered that until I said that maybe because they wanted to benefit from it. Some 'No way!' and 'How can you think that of us?' I answered that the reason I think is because of all the crap that has hit my fan. I have lost a lot of trust in people in general because of this. To make a long story short. A couple of them asked if they could get (yes get, not borrow) some money. Others said they would like to borrow some if possible I uploaded a document that CLC (certified loan Cousin) and I had signed. I told them that what was stated in the document were the rules. They could read it or not. One cousin asked if I could give him a call. I did. Turns out his daughter has a severe illness, without treatment she'll likely die. I won't name it for anonimity's sake. There is a treatment in the US that could help her, chances remain slim but if it is a success his daughter might live and live a somewhat good quality of life. Unfortunately that treatment is not paid for by the insurance company. I didn't trust it after so many stories and ask for details. He asked if I could come and visit. His daughter was in the hospital. He didn't lie one bit. God, that girl. She's in her early 20's, but still. Tubes and monitors everywhere. Books on bed as she tried to do some homework. I could almost see Death standing at her shoulder, waiting. She was so... We had a talk and eventually her attending doctor came in and explained a bit. Later I went with the doctor to his office and he explained the rest. I went home afterwards. We verified the doctor's name, field etc. Cousin and I talked again on the phone. I told him I hadn't made a decision yet and wanted to know if they wanted the money for medical costs only. He confirmed that. His wife/mother of said daughter would go to the US and they had money to cover her expenses. It would be tight but they wanted only the money for the medical costs. Hubby and I talked and we agreed. We agreed to help but again with strict rules. We would only pay the amount that we were given. (the US hospital gave them a number). We would pay the hospital directly and other important details. Only thing we asked in return is that in the event of succes and failure they would put a certain amount of money towards research, in installments if necessary. L (lawyer friend) drew up the contract and asked another lawyer to review it. This lawyer is specialised in the medical field. I called cousin again. I told him that I had thoroughly examined the entire situation. I had been played and lied to, I was attacked in many ways and I had lost my trust in people. I thanked him for his honesty in the situation and commented how hard it must be. I then asked him if his wife was listening. She wasn't but he put her on speaker phone. I then told them this news. The only thing I heard were tears, cries and 'Thank you's'. I told them that I had strict rules and sent them the draft of the document. I asked them to ask a lawyer or maybe the hospital lawyer to review it. If they agreed we could sign the document. Later their daughter called me. Same story as her parents. I just hope that this time round, the money will do good. Her doctor contacted me and we are going to arrange the financial details once the contract has been signed between my cousin and I. Other family members of mine have done the greedy grab hands. No was the simple answer, alongside the number of the investment advisor. Told them good luck and blocked the beggers. I don't worry as much as them finding out where I live. My parents, brother and his wife/my SIL can win a tight-lip contest with an oyster. 🆕🆕🆕🆕🆕 [**An update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/r23jcg/an_update/) submitted November 2021 I have an update once more on the whole saga. I don't know if more updates will follow, but If something happens I will post here. The good news is that most family members have stopped bothering me and Hubby. Eldest has a social media account that we go through together and he has received some nasty things on that. Eldest blocked them, reported them and thanks to our dear lawyer friend who sent some letters. It got relatively quiet once again. Those without a no contact order in place have suddenly reached out more often. People Hubby or I haven’t spoken to/with in years contact us more often. We keep it polite and pleasant. Entitled cousin had to pay several fines, damages and has 2 years of probation. He tried to threaten us again. We told him Froofroo would love to meet him again...Blabbermouth knows in which town we live now. Entitled cousin seems to have told her. We have seen her around town. We hope she stays away as per the NC order. The bad news is about my cousin with the sick daughter. SD will be the sick daughter and DSD will be my cousin/her dad. MSD will be the mom, wife of my cousin. She was eventually allowed to go home for a while, although with a lot of equipment, medication and such. But hey, everyone was happy SD was home for a little while. Since the beginning of the pandemic SD quarantined and rarely went out. Same goes for DSD and MSD. They hardly allowed visitors over, their elder children quarantined, tested themselves before coming over, and wore masks when they came over etc. They took every measure to heart. They were warned that COVID would/could be the death of her. The times they went out were times that they knew places would be quiet and people were scarce. They took some sort of subscription to get groceries delivered to their house on a weekly basis. The driver, bless his heart, found out about the situation and even went as far as to disinfect and mask himself, even though he only put the groceries at the door. He also wiped the handles of the crates and bags. DSD and MSM managed to work from home the entire time. It was hard on them. I will cut the story short(er). SD died. She contracted COVID and due to her already weak immune system she passed away. She didn't contract it form her parents or siblings. They tested regularly just to be on the safe side. The likeable source? A relative of MSD. The guy was someone who didn’t take COVID seriously. He went someplace, got symptoms afterwards. He went to get himself tested because his boss didn’t want him at a job site without a negative test. (Relative works in construction.) Well wouldn't you know? He tested positive. Health services explained what he had to do, his boss did the same. Boss would keep paying him. Relative had to stay home and quarantine. Back to the story. MSD and DSD had troubles with some leak. SD’s room was next to the bathroom and they had been seeing some wet spots in her bedroom wall. Figuring it was a leak they called this relative. Ask him if he had time. They explained the situation and they asked him to take the precautions. He said he would take precautions. Told them he had tested negative on a test. Maybe he thought that since he couldn’t work he would do this instead. Earn some extra cash. He had to come into SD’s room to get some things done and took his mask off several times to cough saying ‘it was so hot and he needed fresh air’. He was reminded every time to get that thing back on. He was asked to leave and not to return after a couple of times. Work wasn’t finished but they didn’t care. The leak was found and taken care of with a temporary fix. A couple of days later SD got very sick and had to be transported to the hospital. She tested positive for COVID. She died there. To say people are devastated is an understatement. DSD called me in tears a couple of days after her passing. His tears were enough to know what had happened. In the background I could hear MSD screaming. It turns out she was calling her relative about her daughter’s death and he informed her that he was positive the time he was there to help them fix things. My cousin said goodbye quickly and went to deal with that situation. I don’t know what happened afterwards. Only thing I know is that MSD cursed and yelled at him for lying, whilst knowing that SD was sick and COVID was a real threat to her. We did get an invite for her online funeral service. Hubby and I both ‘attended’. We sent some flowers and a card. This was almost 2 months ago. DSD video called last night. This wasn’t a man anymore, more of a shell. Still so lost after the loss of his daughter, his only daughter. His wife….They are not doing great at all. It was heartbreaking and devastating to see them. We talked about the funds. They wanted to thank us anyway. We told them we wanted to donate the amount for research. They were glad we wanted to do so. So that’s the update. Sooner than I would have wanted and not with the news I had hopes of sharing. Stay safe people and I hope you have a good, and above all, healthy holiday season. [**The inside of a hospital, how EC lost his job and how Blabbermouth has the honour of meeting Froufrou**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/rxbezw/the_inside_of_a_hospital_how_ec_lost_his_job_and/) submitted January 6, 2022 Dear people on reddit. I thought that no more updates would be needed as the peace seemed to have returned. It wasn't for long however. Last time I gave an update on the situation with my cousin. Now I write this as it is EC (entitled cousin) and Blabbermouth related. For the people not familiar with Blabbermouth and EC drama, I refer you to my previous posts. Hang on tight for another long update. It all starts with EC & Blabbermouth staying in touch with each other. They kept complaining and apparently blaming all their misfortune on me. I am the source of their problems and if I just had done what I 'was supposed to do' then none of all the bad things would've happened. EC then had the bright idea that I should be punished. So what did they talk about? Well, it put me in the hospital. EC had some friend of him follow me. Since I don't work the regular office hours it took me about 3 weeks before I noticed the same person following me around. I got scared as I have been followed in the past. Nothing came of it in the end but then it made me vigilant. I took some precautions to be sure, made the reports with law enforcement and asked our nice neighbour and his wife, NN and NW, if he could keep an eye out. They would. (NN has expierence as a PI, law enforcement, specialises in training for police dogs and such.) It happened about 2,5 weeks before Christmas. I was walking on the street talking on my phone when EC and that buddy of his dragged me in a quiet street and proceeded to beat me. In a lull I managed to hit them where men tend to hurt a lot, add some blows where I could before I set off an alarm with the volume of a ship's horn to alert people and do my best to get away. (where I'm from, civilians aren't allowed to carry guns, tasers or stun guns like in the US, so save the 'Get a gun’ talk) Police and ambulance came, reports were made, the whole shebang. I was brought to the hospital and the damage: a lot bruises, 6 broken ribs, a broken wrist and and some bruising to organs. I'm doing all right. I had to stay for a little while as there are some concerns about my lungs, liver and kidneys. Now, who is wondering where Blabbermouth is in this story? Don't worry, I'll tell you. To preface. In the time we have lived in this neighbourhood, NN and NW have become friends of me and my family. They both know what has happened, know about the money and have provided friendship, sets of extra eyes and a dog for my children to fawn over. NN and NW don't have children (not their choice) and have become another aunt and uncle to my children. The children love NN, NW and are Froufrou's biggest kid fans. Kids, NW and NN (just a bit) were begging for a sleepover with them. So after quarantine, testing negative on PCR tests and such NN, NW and Froufrou had my children over. Blabbermouth found out were my kids were (I think she has been following them) and on the day that EC and his buddy were beating me up she went to them while they were outside and tried to convince them to come with her. When they refused, she grabbed the youngest and tried to drag him with her. Bad move Blabbermouth. Froufrou needed his walk and my children took him for that walk. NN was around but not close enough to intervene swiftly. There was no need, Froufrou did. The moment she tried to drag my youngest away, Froufrou came sprinting towards them and started barking his head off, growling when he wasn't. NN heard his dog, saw who was there with my kids and called the cops, while running towards the situation. A little while later Blabbermouth got to quality test the backseat of a police vehicle. According to NN she was behaving like a Karen (Hope I use the term right), telling everybody that was in the vicinity how NN should be arrested for having a vile and dangerous dog and that she didn't do anything wrong. She's out on bail and charged with attempted child abduction and breaking of the NC order. EC and his buddy also had bail set and paid it along with some nice charges.As to what Blabbermouth was thinking, I don't know. I know that EC's idea was to beat me into submission. Hubby had a (not so) nice chat on the phone with EC's mummy as she called him and asked if we could drop the charges. Turns out that EC's boss fired him. It seems that he had some disciplanary action going against him already and this was the final straw in his boss's eyes. EC got to his work, only to be lead into the office to meet with his resignation papers. We found out where his whole 'bow to the will of the family' crap came from...Mummy dearest. She basically told Hubby that if I had done what they 'asked' then nothing bad would have happened. I was from outside of the family (so is she, married to an uncle of Hubby) so I should do as I was told.I just had enough time to get out some snacks and a drink to listen to the sweet sounds of him going ballistic. It was lovely and scary to hear. I took the phone when he took a breather and told her she heard what he had to say and the whole spiel of 'contact my lawyer, harassment, yada, yada'. Click and block. She hasn't called since.Note: EC (now) had a good job that paid well, his wife also works and they are able to pay the bills, save some as well and have some extra to spend. He and his wife and family have a comfortable life. It's not like they are in dire straits with debts. So for people commenting that he must be desperate for money, he isn't. After this incident and a couple of (attempted) break-ins, a neighbourhood watch was formed. We gave the people involved a photograph of Blabbermouth and of EC. Told them only that we had NC orders against them and asked them to call law enforcement if they were spotted in the neighbourhood. All in all we had a nice Christmas and New Year's eve. We are doing as well as can be. I am still sore and have to go to the hospital for check ups.Hubby and I are getting progressively concerned since EC and Blabbermouth are not deterred by the piece of paper that states 'No Contact order'. Moving again is out of the question. When Hubby and I were talking one night while the kids were in bed. Eldest had come downstairs and overheard us. He was adament that he didn't want to move. His reasons were that if they did this and we would move again after each escalation, we would have to keep moving. He felt safe in this home and with Froufrou, NW and NN in the vicinity. The other 2 agree when we talked with them in the morning. Kids are shaken but doing relatively well. Due to what happened, we are also looking into therapy for all of us. The youngest is quite shaken but for now is thinking more of how cool it was that Froufrou protected him and how Blabbermouth was trying to climb a car. Eldest understands what has happened a bit better and is more fearful. NN and NW have offered Froufrou for sleepovers so that the kids feel safer. We are also thinking about getting our own Froufrou. NN has already offered to help in the purchase and training of the dog.Hubby is frantic with worry about what might've happened and what EC might try in the future. We are also going to do some research in how to protect ourselves further. We are talking with law enforcement, our dear Lawyer friend and other people to see what is possible in terms of the law and without turning our neighbourhood in a heavy security prison or something like that. So that's that. [**A good update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/ry3c8t/a_good_update/) submitted January 7, 2022 I didn't think I would come back with an update so soon. Grab the snacks and drinks, turn on the music and dance with me (or more, for me, as my ribs still hurt). EC and Blabbermouth have been arrested and are now finding out how the jail look from the inside. Hubby and I were both called by them, begging us to drop the charges. With this they broke the NC order and the bail order. We got everything recorded and then called law enforcement immediately along with dear Lawyer Friend. They were arrested. Just received the news. Happy butt wiggle for me!!! [**EC meets Karma**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/sm7gli/ec_meets_karma/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) submitted February 5, 2022 A small update as I don't have a lot to tell but I thought that you might want to hear this. EC and Blabbermouth are still getting used to their new environment (a.k.a. prison). They are not to be released again until trial. We hope that won't change so happy dance for us. But EC met someone else and that one is Karma. And Karma is a B****. I was informed of this by none other than EC's wife, henceforth known as Wonder woman (WW). WW came to my house not to yell at me, curse me or threaten me. Nope. She came to thank me. I was apprehensive and didn't allow her inside but what she put through the mailslot to me then made me invite her in. WW story: EC was apparently financially and emotionally abusive. He never laid a hand on her or their children and never abused their children but whatever money she made, he made sure he got it. She was only allowed to work for cash so he could get his hands on it easier. Whatever savings she had, he had forced her to surrender it in the name of 'We are a unit now'. She was broken and afraid. He had threatened divorce and taking the children 'because no judge would give her custody since she couldn't support them. In that case he wouldn't allow her to see them as she was a bad wife and mother for leaving him'. But now that he was behind bars she found the rest of the courage she needed and access to all of the bank accounts, joint and her own, as well as other important things. WW already had had contact with a divorce lawyer but was too afraid to actually go through with it. Her parents had talked to her many times and told her to get some real legal advice. She finally did but was biding her time. So when EC got arrested and sent to prison for a longer stay this time, she got the locks changed (house is in her name, inheritance), put all his things in boxes, closed the joint account after dividing the money equally, did a whole list of other things I can't remember and on the same day he was served with the papers, his parents got a lot of boxes with his stuff and a letter. WW was divorcing him! The stack of papers she gave me? A copy of the divorce papers. WW was crying. She was and has been so afraid. Apology after apology about not being able to stop him from doing all those things. The reason she came was to let me know this and how me getting beaten up and EC breaking the bail was the miracle she needed. She apologised because my misery enabled her escape. I told her I wasn't angry at her. She did what she could. I was a bit surprised about the speed of everything, but with help from her parents, her family and her friends she had been planning her 'flight to freedom' as she called it for at least 7-8 months. What set her in motion was 'The Visit' and along with what he had said about it all... it lifted whatever blindness she had. WW finally believed those words others had said about EC. It took some time but after getting help, WW started planning everything. She's afraid but relieved. WW was crying tears of joy, fear and sadness at the same time. She kept apologising although I ensured her she had nothing to worry about. Her parents are helping out financially for the moment as she is looking for a job. I asked her about what she used to do and after telling me, I gave an old friend of me a call. I knew he was looking for someone and asked if he could send the job description as I know someone who might fit. WW looked and told me this might work. Friday she called me say that she has an interview next week. Fingers crossed. We had a good chat and I gave her my number so she could call me if she needed help. I'm good at budgetting and next week I'm going to her and help her. So EC is in prison for the time being but when he gets out, sooner or later (rather later), it will be crappy for him. He will have no job, no home, no wife, no support from friends (his buddy told the friend group everything and they dropped him so fast as if he was a live grenade), a record and might not be able to go to his parents as his father is furious and disowned him. And that is how up until this point, EC meets Karma. Let's see what else life, and hopefully Karma, has in stock for EC. [**EC meets Karma once again**](https://www.reddit.com/user/Burneraccount-909876/comments/srrfrl/ec_meets_karma_once_again/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) submitted February 12, 2022 Someone commented on my last post that they hoped Karma would come to him through his fellow prisoners. Do you have the power to predict things by any chance? Because that has happened. LF (Lawyer friend) keeps us up to date about both EC and Blabbermouth whenever possible. EC was wise enough to keep some details about his reasons for his prison stay to himself. Smart man, I'm told that some people who reside there don't take it well when you hurt women or children. But his fellow prisoners did find out he had beaten a woman and helped plan a child abduction. Well.... he was given a taste of his own medicine..... Only difference between him and me is that I had some serious injuries. He got beaten up but only suffered some bruises. No broken bones or internal injuries. Prison guards were quick to intervene when it happened. As to how his fellow prison people found out what he did? Well, his mother visited him and they were talking....and his mother does not have the ability to whisper....so I wouldn't be surprised that whilst they talked others heard and were not happy with what they heard. But that is a guess, her visit and what happened were mere hours after each other.

The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws, part 3

NEW UPDATE

BORU_Lover

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzvwr/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_3/

zmzxd6

Go grab some snacks and a blanket, this is suuuuuper long. I compiled it in a Microsoft Word document and it’s 43 pages 😳😳 These posts were made by Burneraccount-909876, almost entirely in r/EntitledPeople. It was [previously posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/paev3n/buckle_up_this_is_a_long_and_wild_ride_op/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) on BORU by simply posting all the links of the posts that had been put up at that time. The update will be separated by 🆕🆕🆕🆕🆕 I made some minor formatting edits, but everything else I pasted exactly as-is. [PART 1]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzs61/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_1/), [PART 2]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmztmz/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_2/), [PART 3]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzvwr/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_3/), [PART 4]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzxd6/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_4/), [PART 5]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzyx3/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_5/) ——— [**CoddleMum to the (not so) rescue**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/t27g5v/coddlemum_to_the_not_so_rescue/) submitted February 26, 2022 I would like to introduce you to CoddleMum (CM). She's EC's (entitled cousin) mother. WW: wonder woman a.k.a EC's soon to be ex-wife is also mentioned. To us it seems like she is in (almost) in complete agreement with her son.She doesn't like it one bit that her precious son had to exchange his nice house with wife and children to a prison cell and divorce papers. When CM and EC's dad were met with EC's belongings, CM lost her absolute mind.WW called me to relay the story. CM called WW and started her spiel of 'How dare you divorce my absolute gem of a son ?' (puke anyone?) WW had learned from me and recorded everything in case she needed it. WW just simply waited till CM had to draw some breath before she something along the lines of that EC should be happy he wasn't charged with financial abuse as well (proof aplenty according to her) and that since she loved her son so much, she could have him as CM always thought WW's only purpose was to provide EC with children and meet his every need. Some other things were said and WW is a woman who I start to admire more with each passing day. Really, It's like she broke free and became something amazing. She doesn't care that people play the 'family card'. She learned from my mistakes and unlike Hubby or LF she doesn't sugar coat her words. She told me in no uncertain terms that I behaved with too much caution and forgiveness and should have burned them to the ground the moment they started their crap. I have to admit, I agree. EC's dad walked in on that conversation and lost his mind on CM. WW told CM that she did not want any contact. EC 's dad could call and they would make arrangements for him to see the grandchildren. WW is working with a lawyer and social services on how to approach visits between CM and her grandchildren concerning some things that you will read below. So after getting an earful from her soon to be ex DIL, CM started calling me and Hubby demanding that we drop everything , begged their forgiveness for nonsense like 'tearing the family apart and not doing what was right'. We recorded, hung up, blocked her and saved everything we needed and filed for a NC order. But when all of her shenaningens didn't work she tried something else. She seemed to have learned from her son EC where I lived. So she came to our house but as we have doorbells with camera (love the invention) with recording settings, I could enjoy the show from my spot on the couch while she dug her own grave. Like hell I was opening the door with CM outside. Hahaha....no lady, heck no. I was so glad my children and hubby were not home. Screams alternated between 'How dare you do this to my son?!', ' I am going to (insert violence here) to you', and ' You should have given him what he wanted! That is how it's done!!’ (Hello medieval mindset where the men matter and women only matter to give the men what they want. I understood in an instant where EC got this 'Bow down to the will of the family' came from.) Too bad I couldn't get any snacks or drinks due to doctor's orders of rest but watching from the cameras how CM lost her mind and started throwing everything she could at my home and then get arrested by our town's Finest people in blue, was priceless. I am also slightly disappointed she didn't get to meet Froufrou and my 4th" baby" 'LeFou'. Yep we got a dog. Lefou is a super-duper sweety pie rottweiler mix of about 2 years old. Total lapdog for us and just the right kind of protective. He was already being trained by the name he went. Turns out that NW knows the breeder and she was asked to name the pups of this litter. Lefou and my family have been doing some extensive training with NN. This day, LeFou was at the vet with my Hubby and children for meet and greet and health inspection. So hello, LF, do you still have some spare time? Now you don't, or have even less. LF is sometimes wondering if my Hubby was adopted because he can't believe the sheer stupidity of some of his family members (spoiler, he isn't adopted). Join the club. WW is also been updated about this. I thought she might need it in case CM and visitation of the grandkids. Oh and WW got the job! She is also in the process of further protecting herself but I won't share that info. I don't condone violence but that woman should be happy that neither my husband, kids, LeFou, NN, NW of Froufrou were around. She would have been toast. But hey, the plus side is that she now know how the bench in a cell feels like...from my point of view at least. [**MIL blew it**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/u3fs4i/mil_blew_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) submitted April 14, 2022 Dear reddit people, I hope you are all well. I have a new, long update. Title says it all. Last week on Saturday we went to have coffee with my FIL and MIL as we often do. We made sure to give them a call notifying them we would be coming so FIL could notify BIL in case he wanted to come (NC order, works fine. BIL is not in the mood for visits from our local people in blue and fines). Kids came with us and Hubby's other sister (second kid of FIL and MIL) was there as well. Kids love her although she is very opinionated and can only see things black and white. No middle ground. She and Blabbermouth do not get along. That was even before I became an addition to the family. For the sake of this post I'll call her Lucy. We get there, get our drinks with cake and are having a nice chat when MIL blew it. We told them that during these visits we would not discuss the situation with Blabbermouth and EC. If she wanted to do so, we would see each other for that on a different time and day. We want these visits to be for other things than that. This was firmly explained to especially MIL as she began to talk about Blabbermouth twice in a row. She stopped after we just got up and left. Then last week she had to do it again. MIL started to say she felt so sorry for Blabbermouth, how awful it must be for her. We told her to stop as this is not what we came for. Lucy also told her to stop. Then MIL asked the questions she should never have asked: "Don't you have pity? Don't you feel sorry for her?” Kaboom. My youngest two started crying, my eldest, me, Hubby and Lucy all flipped our lids. Hubby and I decided that we needed to deal with our children. We took them outside, made sure they were calm and felt safe before I went back in. Lucy was still grilling her mother. I told her she could stop. MIL wasn't crying but just looked at me with a numb look for the lack of a better description. My 'speech' to my MIL (almost verbatim): 'To answer your questions. No, I don't feel sorry for her or do I pity her. We helped her with her home, we helped and still help her children with the a college education, and if they do it right, with a home. We took you all on a holiday. Unbeknowst to you all it was MY good word that got her the job she has now when I was asked. Because although I hate her entitlement and the way she talks about me, I acknowledge she is incredibly good at her job. I would never screw someone over if they I thought they are good at their job and reasonably decent to those they work with. SHE wanted more, SHE demanded we give more only because we are related, because we're FAMILY. Like an obligation to do whatever. SHE always thought she had some priority over me, Hubby and our family simply because SHE popped her children out first. SHE had told Hubby to divorce me because I would never amount to anything and every form of education I followed was a waste of time and money. But the moment we have money she demands money. When she heard the word 'No' to her outreagous demand she japped at the family, against our wishes, causing all the troubles we have now, destroying relationships in the process. SHE talked with EC about attacking me, hurting me and abducting our children and acted on it. I needed surgery FFS because of that attack and I'm not out of the woods yet. Our children are in therapy because SHE tried to take them against their will. Hubby is in therapy because of her and EC as he feels like he can't protect his family. I will be fine, but she had the audacity to fuck with my family. Don't ever expect for me to feel sorry for her after all the crap SHE has put my family through. HER OWN FAMILY FFS! Family only has value to her when she can get something from them, no matter the cost to others. As long as she gets what she wants without the need to pay. You won't be seeing me or the children for a time. I don't care what Hubby decides. You are his mother and I will NEVER tell him he can't see you or talk to you. I love you with all my heart. I thank you for raising my husband to the man he is now, but I will not put the children through this sheer favouritism and hurt it causes them.' To FIL ‘We won't be coming for a while. We have so much to deal with already and can't have MIL adding to it. I or Hubby will give a call to discuss some things.’ With that I grabbed the coats and left. Hubby had a call with FIL later. They had a long talk about how he had enough of his mother's favouritism towards his sister when there is conflict. He told FIL that he holds no grudge against him but he needs a break. Lucy and I needed to do some shopping together yesterday and she told me that MIL could only sit afterwards. According to Lucy and FIL, after we left FIL didn't say anything to her. He just took the mugs, plates and stuff to the kitchen, placed it in the dishwasher, wiped everyting down and then sat on the chair looking at her and just telling her, as calm as ever, 'You blew it. The daughter in law who forgave so much, was willing to let so much slide, who helped us out so much and who tried not to involve the law because of us and our family, has had enough. And she is right.' MIL started crying. Lucy was asked to leave then. To her credit, she leaves us be. Normally I would have taken her to certain appointments but she and FIL made other arrangements for the time being. We are NC with MIL for a while. My children are devastated. They knew that MIL had a soft spot for Blabbermouth but they are shocked that their grandmother ignores the hurt her own daughter causes to her son, daugher in law and grandchildren. They miss her. They have a lot of questions. Hubby is broken and angry. He had a talk with his therapist about it. He misses her but he told me that his mother needs to learn a harsh lesson now. I told him once again, that I would never demand from him to stop seeing his mother. If he wishes, he can go, he can call, whatever. I wouldn't be angry. He knows my boundaries. I simply won't go to visit nor am I willing to talk to her. For now we don't want the children to go there as well. If she wishes to apologise, fine. Not now, as I'm still fuming. If/when she wants to apologise, she will have to come up with an insanely good apology as I'm not willing to sweep this obvious favouritism under the rug. I've done that too much already. For now I have her blocked on my phone and I have removed myself from the family groupchat. I love my MIL tremendously. She helped us a lot when the children were little. In our time of need, they (and my parents) were there. They have always respected our parenting decisions even though they did not always agree with them. When MIL and FIL babysat, they respected our wishes. She would 'freestyle' when they were a bit older but made sure they had their sleep, ate healthy meals and snacks, with the occassional treat and such. I was always treated with love and respect. I helped them out whenever and however I could. So this hurts. She has seen me in the hospital, she saw what was done to me. She has seen the fear my children had and have, has seen the hurt in Hubby's eyes. She has seen this all and all she knows and does is turning a (semi) blind eye to her daughter's actions. She acknowledges EC's actions against us but not what her own daugther's. Hello therapist! I just want this nightmare to end. [**Update on MIL blew it.**]( https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/uiu33w/update_on_mil_blew_it/) submitted May 5, 2022 A small update on MIL. MIL contacted Hubby. She went over to our house. Hubby was home alone (took a week off).We were expecting a parcel delivery. Delivery man came, Hubby checked cameras and went to open the door. Parcel, signature yadayada. As the man went, MIL came. She came up to him and started talking. Hubby just stood there with the parcel in his hands and after she stopped talking he told her: 'Mom, your own daughter tried to hurt your own son and harmed your daughter in law and grandchildren. She knew OP would be attacked and encouraged it. If she did not, she knew and didn't care what would happen to her. She didn't report it or do anything to try and stop it. My wife will probably need surgery AGAIN! (Side note: Left kidney, liver and spleen were always problematic, thanks to EC and the beating even more so to the point they might need to be removed. Will hear this tomorrow.) Now you ask us to pity her and show mercy when all that happened was because SHE broke the law. She hurt US. You keep choosing her, even when things like this happen and hit you across the face. When you see the damage she has done with your own eyes. You keep finding excuses for her horrible behaviour. I've had enough. I know you love her and I will never ask you to choose sides. I only ask you to condemn her behaviour and actions, nothing else. You don't. By asking us to show mercy and feel pity you don't. We don't blame you for what happened. We blame Blabbermouth and EC. Don't blame yourself for what they did. Stop defending her. Get therapy, you need it. You need to see what is happening and accept that by no fault of yours, your daughter hurt others. I love you mum. Now you need to go away. I don't want to talk to you when you continue to excuse her behaviour and the harm she caused to others. Don't contact us. We will contact you IF we ever feel ready to.' Then he shut the door and locked it. MIL just stood there for a little while and left. I found Hubby bawling his eyes out when I got home an hour later. I've sent the recordings of the doorbell camera to LF in case we need an NC order for MIL. I don't think so as he is the golden son and she always tends to do as he says. But better safe than sorry. In the evening FIL came by to watch a game with Hubby and he told us what happened after MIL came home. FIL asked where she had gone to and she started to cry, scream etc and relayed what happened. That she doesn't want to lose her son and his family. She asked herself why had it come to this to which FIL truthfully answered that his son (Hubby) was right. She kept choosing her daughter over her son no matter what. That she can still love her daughter but condemn what she did. She doesn't . MIL told him that all she feels is that the need to protect her child to which FIL responded that how understandable that may be, by doing so she hurts her other child. A child who also needs her. Paraphrased: 'Love both and don't choose sides. Your daughter hurt your son and his family. Your son hurts because his own sister has hurt his wife and his children. He hurts because she cares more about getting what she wants. He hurts because you can't see that. Love both as is natural to you as a loving mother, but open your eyes to the hurt that has been caused.' She asked him if he could help her with Hubby and me and this is how he responded (again paraphrased): ‘I will not lift a finger to help you in this situation with them. This is all your own doing. I have warned you many times in the past, more so in the last year that this might happen. That these actions might have this outcome. Our son's idea of therapy might be a good idea. However, this will not automatically mean you get to see them again and be in their lives. Before this mess started, Hubby and OP were kind, had an open mind, trusting, tended to see the good in people and when bad things happened to try and see what caused it and condemning it whenever they would deem it was warranted. They still are good, kind people, they still try to see and figure out what caused certain things but they have become suspicious of people's motives. They aren't so trusting anymore. They are scared that they will get hurt, that the children will get hurt. If you ever want a chance to see them again, you need to respect them and their decisions. Accept that they might not forgive you whatever you do. By now you know that they , and especially OP, will not excuse behaviour in the name of 'Family' any longer. She and our son have finally learned to stand up to such a degree that nobody dares to mess with them. You and OP are both loving people, you love your husbands, children and others. The difference between the two of you is that OP is now willing to go ballistic when she feels her children and/or husband are threatened. Don 't mess with this mama bear. She will not back down if you go too far and you know it.' (Do you understand why I love and respect this man so much?) MIL just kept crying silent tears. Lucy also tells me that her mother is a shell of who she was. She keeps saying that she lost her son and his family and how sorry she is. To be honest, I feel like karma came for MIL. As of now, I don't feel any inclination of having contact with her. She is elderly and I know that she might die without ever seeing us again. It hurts a lot. She really means so much to me but I will not expose myself or my children to her favouritism. She may be crying about how sorry she is, I will only believe her if she proves it. I don't believe words anymore, just actions. What we need is for her to show us that love for Blabbermouth should not blind her to this degree. I hope she can, I truly hope so. She won't get a 'get out of time out' card because she is family. [**BIL & Blabbermouth have come to beg: a comedy**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/uxglg7/bil_blabbermouth_have_come_to_beg_a_comedy/) submitted April 25, 2022 Dear reddit family, Another long update. Trigger warning for some violence/abuse. I started writing about my experiences simply to gain insights, opinions and blow off some steam and as a somewhat therapeutic measure so to speak. I found out that my posts have been used by several YT channels to broadcast them to others. That's fine. When I found out about them, I was mostly interested in the comments. They really opened my eyes and showed me that I was naïve, gullible and an incredible doormat. Maybe more so then what Hubby and LF told me. NW and NN found out about the posts and agree with you all. So thank you all. Other family members have also found out about the post. They weren't happy with it and some started to spout some bullshit about privacy but when they read the responses and saw everything from my point of view, they felt even more ashamed than they already did. In one of my lasts post people gave a lot of advice on protecting ourselves and our home. Thank you all for that .We have also been following some self defense and martial arts classes when possible. The children were given alarms, schools were told about what happened and protocols were written for their safety. We sold our cars and bought other ones that we park some streets away. We have the majority of our groceries delivered as well. A company specialised in home defense was told to make our home feel safe again. We have a contract with that company so in case crap hits the fan, they know to haul their butts our way asap. Local law enforcement also has a big red flag attached to our phone numbers and address. We don't expect a lot now but better safe than sorry. We certainly have learned that. The neighbourhood watch is a success. We have had a lot less (attempted) break-ins and theft. My children have found their courage to walk LeFou on their own without either me or Hubby. They are not as afraid as they were shortly after the debacle with Blabbermouth and EC. Talks with their therapists have helped a lot. Eldest struggles sometimes as he thinks that being the eldest means taking care of his siblings without fail. I needed some surgery as the beating made some pre-existing health issues worse. Hubby is still restless sometimes, he has taken his self defense and martial arts lessons seriously. He thought and still thinks at times that he failed in his 'duty' to protect his family. With the help of his therapist he can shake that feeling more. I've told him numerous times that he never failed us. He loves us and has always been there for us as a father and husband. Eldest takes a lot after Hubby in this regard. It doesn't surprise my as I have proudly given birth to my Hubby's clone. NN has been a great help as well. Sometimes men need another man/men to tell them whatever they need to hear without therapist talk. Current status on people MIL: Time out (see other post, happened around 3 weeks ago. This happened today) Lucy and FIL: no problems EC: Still in prison, though secluded. Inmates really don't like him apparently. I'm not even wondering why. CoddleMum: EC's mother. BIL: NC order had been lifted as of last week. No harassment or any other things so no reason for extension. He isn't blocked on our phones. If people want to dig their own graves, then I'm all for helping them. Blabbermouth: Still in prison. “Woe is me” attitude. Only our lawyers talk with each other and with the Procecutor. The hellhag still has an active NC order. She has been blocked on my phone, not on Hubby's. Same reason as with BIL. LF: Lawyer friend, hero without a cape, devil without horns. Worth every penny/cent/dollar etc. BML: Blabbermouth's lawyer Bro: My 1.89m tall brother, has the build of a tank, strong as one, kind-hearted, no nonsense man. SIL3: Bro's partner, Maggie for the sake of the posts. NN: Nice neighbour NW: Nice neighbour's wife Froufrou: NW and NN's loving dog, another hero without a cape who'll take snacks and cuddles as his reward. Lefou: our own loving dog, hero in training, who'll also take snacks and cuddles as his reward. Onto part 1. LF called us. Apparently he got a call form BIL that Blabbermouth wants to plea guilty in exchange for no time in prison. As of now, she faces between 5 to 10 years in prison if she's found guilty. I thought that this crap wasn't possible. According to LF, she hardly has a chance at that. She can get a reduction but no more if she goes for the guilty plea. Also, what surprised us is that BIL called LF directly instead of going through their lawyer. So what does our beloved LF do? Laugh in the phone, hangs up and calls their lawyer telling them what BIL has done. Apparently BML just sighed deeply and thanked LF before hanging up. Our thoughts: Blabbermouth and BIL don't hear what they want to hear from their own lawyer so they try it through ours. Nice try. Part 2: BIL's visit Several days after LF called to tell us about BIL and Blabbermouth's delusion/fantasy we got several texts from 4 of our beloved nieces and nephews who are BIL and Blabbermouth's kids. Number 5 doesn't like me and like his mother, blames me for all of her misfortune. We know that the only he doesn't bother us is that his parents have warned him to stay out of this ( as of now he hasn't messed up that we are still somewhat willing to pay for his college education). The other 4 kids and us have a good relationship. They know what mother dearest tried to do and have decided on their own that they're done with her entitled crap and with their father semi-enabling it. 1 and 2 have moved out, 3 and 4 can't just yet but are barely home. Since their mother is in jail the eldest 2 decided to drop in on their father and younger siblings to keep an eye out and help when needed. BIL was very unhappy and angry, he knows that what Blabbermouth did was wrong but he thinks the whole kidnapping and assault thing is blown out of proportion. They were all having lunch and BIL came with the "amazing" idea to have a talk with me and to an extent, Hubby. Who's phone explodes with texts after that lunch? Mine and Hubby's. Eldest niece tried and managed to get a timeframe from her father and texted us that. Since we didn't want our children to watch whatever might go down, we asked Bro and Maggie if they could go there for a couple of days and hang out with their cousins. No problem after explaining the situation. The children were scared but didn't want to leave. Bro flexes his muscles (they love that) and tells them that he will keep them safe. Then we call NN and NW, explain the situation and to ask if they are available in case we need witnesses and help. Before we could finish asking we heard the doorbell ring. NN, NW and Froufrou were there. (I really love these people and dog) So some hours later and BIL makes his grand appearance. For those of you who wondered if we invited him in...of course not. Heck, we didn't even open the door. The doorbell camera has been the granded its own altar at our home...well, almost then. He began his sob story about how Blabbermouth didn't mean it, she was sorry yada, yada, yada, sob sob sob. He asked/begged through his sobs if we could drop the charges. Nah, even if I could, I wouldn't. Oh BIL, fun fact! The prosecuter is the one who decides that now. You know, because what Blabbermouth did are felonies! You don't get to try and abduct people and get away with a slap on the wrist. You don't get to show your big blue eyes and get away with aiding and abetting assault. Even if he changes his mind it won't be because of your puppy eyes begging but of lack of evidence...of which he has plenty. You know that. I'm sure that your lawyer has told you this, so why the heck are you trying it here? Oh right, because you and Blabbermouth don't want to hear 'No'. Last but not least. Me, Hubby and children will be a lot safer if her entitled behind is in jail and not polluting the free air with her scents of entitlement. After hearing this piece of information BIL became angry. Family this, family that, more "family helps each other" crap and the golden phrase was 'But she's family and you don't hurt family. To which we responded with 'But we're her family. Why did she hurt us then?' No response. He just stood there. Then he started cursing. How I was a sl*t, a bi*ch and that it was all my fault. Sure BIL, blame the one who helped pay off your mortgage and your children's tuition because all we wanted was to help family. If you don't want the money, then we would like to have it back. Would you like to pay it back all in one go or a payment plan? (yes, we were semi-teasing). He raged on about that. 'How dare you?! ' and 'It's not funny!' Of course it isn't funny, but what isn't funny as well, is that Blabbermouth only accepted me when it suited her and when things happened the way she wanted. If not, she would try to manipulate things and people so she could still get (something of) what she wanted. We helped you and when we say no to an absurd request, she loses her everloving mind. She destroys relationships, the good and the neutral ones. She destroyed our feeling of safety and our health, so on and so forth. For what, a holiday of which I know you have the money for or at least for a good part of it? You don't like it that she's in jail. That's fine. She reaps what she sows. You and Blabbermouth should talk to your lawyer to see what can be done about this with the least amount of 'damage'. Family means nothing to you and Blabbermouth when it doesn't get you anything. Go away. We will call the cops and see if we can get more NC/restraining/C&D orders shoved up your behind. Oh and don't try anything stupid. Look at EC and Blabbermouth to see how that one worked out. After saying something along above said lines, he left. We made a copy of the video footage, called the police and went through the entire process again. LF came by for a visit and was baffled and actually sighed. He simply can't understand their thought process. Turns out CoddleMum was also giving him a rough time by basically demanding he does something about her son being in jail. So he did something... He basically told her to shove off in a legal way....unless she wants to spend money on her own lawyer and having unpleasant side effects from such legal papers. Like I said earlier in the post I needed surgery and NW has offered to stay when Hubby is away to help me and keep an eye out. She can work from home and help out in case the family nutjobs return. She has become more than a friend. When she isn't working we talk a lot and got to know each other on a deeper level. Turns out, NW had been in a similar situation with an ex gone bonkers, even after she got together with NN and they try to help whenever they can as they know the anxiety, insecurity and fear. (No ex problems for her thankfully)

The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws, part 4

NEW UPDATE

BORU_Lover

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzxd6/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_4/

zmzyx3

Go grab some snacks and a blanket, this is suuuuuper long. I compiled it in a Microsoft Word document and it’s 43 pages 😳😳 These posts were made by Burneraccount-909876, almost entirely in r/EntitledPeople. It was [previously posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/paev3n/buckle_up_this_is_a_long_and_wild_ride_op/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) on BORU by simply posting all the links of the posts that had been put up at that time. The update will be separated by 🆕🆕🆕🆕🆕 about halfway through “PART 3”. I made some minor formatting edits, but everything else I pasted exactly as-is. [PART 1]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzs61/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_1/), [PART 2]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmztmz/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_2/), [PART 3]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzvwr/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_3/), [PART 4]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzxd6/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_4/), [PART 5]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zmzyx3/the_story_of_oops_very_entitled_inlaws_part_5/) ——— [**Do you see that? That's your college fund waving goodbye.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/vc5y45/do_you_see_that_thats_your_college_fund_waving/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) submitted May 15, 2022 A small but worthy update. Eldest: is my eldest child. Youngest: The youngest one. LF: Lawyer friend. This time Blabbermouth and BIL's youngest child, 18M. I'll call him Entitled Applekid (EAK) as apparently the apple does not fall far from the tree. EAK is going to start college in September if everything goes well. As some redditors might know I have a collegefund for some people in the family, EAK included. They have strict stipulations and it only covers books and tuition. No extracurriculars, housing or living expenses. They want to go and live someplace else? Fine, on your own dime that is. At the start of this whole drama the eldest had finished college. The second is set on graduating this year. The 2 middle ones are busy with college. EAK is the last one. With all what happened EAK reared his head from time to time with off hand remarks and in the beginning demands for money. We made it very clear, in words and on paper, that if he continued with this or did others things that were by law not allowed he could wave his funds goodbye. Hubby and I operated on the notion of 'A child shall not suffer for its parents' blatant stupidity. If they decide to be stupid themselves, they shall reap what they sow.' Blabbermouth and BIL have had some stern talks with EAK to keep his head down and to his studies so he could get his things paid for. They have always known we would never just hand over the money but get the information, confirm it and pay for it. Still, they didn't complain about that 'free money'. About the incident. We have instructed Eldest to not escalate situations, call us/law enforcement and seek out other adults if needed and possible in case of conflict. Filming whatever he could was something he already had figured out. Well, EAK and Eldest met by chance a couple of days ago while Eldest and his siblings went out together. Eldest just gave him a 'Hello' and turned to walk away. EAK didn't like seeing him or whatever and started to shout and curse at Eldest, preventing him to leave. My two youngest heard the commotion and ran to their brother's aid. Youngest started filming. EAK kept pushing his chest against Eldest and compliments to my son, he never hurt him and stayed calm. When EAK grabbed his shirt he used some of his skills in self defence to make sure EAK let him go but nothing else. My middle child then said something to EAK; 'Is it a family trait to want to go to jail or something? If you hurt him, you will go there. You might see your mother again'. EAK stopped, looked at them all and ran for it. Kids got home, showed me the footage along with a witness's footage and contact details and we made a trip to the police station to file a report. Then we called our lovely LF to set things in motion for an restraining order or whatever is possible. After all that we made a copy of the footage my children made and police report and sent it to BIL. Attached to it was the note that another student thanks them for their donation of a college fund since EAK decided he can do without. He threw away his chance with his own actions. According to eldest niece their parents were not happy....not happy at all. [**MIL goes to therapy**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/vi6o1k/mil_goes_to_therapy/) submitted June 22, 2022 Another update on my MIL. This one is short(er). Recap: Blabbermouth is in jail, MIL asks us for mercy and pity, we tell her 'heck no' We tell MIL to get therapy and go NC. People in the story: MIL: Good woman, but her love for her daughter Blabbermouth makes her utterly and completely blind. We are NC with her. FIL: Good and wonderful man Lucy: SIL, another sister of Hubby. Not entitled. Hubby: My husband, rock, stand up comedian and greatest love. Eldest: my eldest child Youngest: My youngest child, born 5 minutes after their twin. (yep, I have twins. No, not identical, different genders, characters are freakishly alike though.) Therapist: MIL's therapist. This week Lucy came by for a cup of coffee and she gave us some, maybe shocking, news. MIL has found a therapist. This one is part of the same practise of our therapist. We never told MIL who our therapist was or where we went. Lucy could tell us that MIL already had some sessions but didn't know the details. OK, that's a good sign. Well, we still eye it with some suspicion but let 's see where this takes us. Then last night, FIL came by again and also told us, without us prompting him, that MIL had found a therapist and had a very intensive first couple of sessions. FIL has joined a couple of them so the therapist could gather some other perspectives. He didn't tell us before as he wanted to be sure that it wasn't a one time thing. It seems that MIL came home after a session and when FIL asked her how it went and how she feels, she seems to have said something like 'I really made stupid mistakes, didn't I?' FIL asked her why she thought so and she told him that what he had said to her (see previous posts) was something that the therapist said as well. Therapist apparently said that to love a child isn't wrong but the actions that are caused by that love can do wrong to the child and, to an extent, others as well. Or something like this. She seemed very sorry and understood better what went wrong. MIL is finally beginning to understand the consequences of her actions. Halleluja!! We remain NC for now. We like this to think that this is a good start of MIL's learning process. Although it seems like good news, we are still apprehensive of letting her in our lives as of now. Our therapist knows about this all and has asked us to think about family therapy. We are thinking about this but we want MIL to really understand that why her actions drove us to go NC. Let's see what this brings. [**MIL continues with therapy, asks us to join, Spawn of Blabbermouth makes 2 new friends**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/whqdc9/mil_continues_with_therapy_asks_us_to_join_spawn/) submitted August 6, 2022 Hello redditors, It has been a month and I would like to give you an update on the current status quo. Cast: Hubby: My soulmate FIL: my father in law Lucy: Hubby's sister, elder sister of Blabbermouth, younger than my Hubby MIL: my mother in law. Spawn of Blabbermouth: Blabbermouth's youngest, one who kissed his college fund goodbye, henceforth known as SOB. NN: Nice Neighbour NW: Nice Neighbour's wife. Update on my own health: I'm healing quite well. I am home now and the doctors are pleased with my recovery. I can walk longer distances and work from home. I don't work to my fullest capacity but I'm grateful that I can do some things again. The update: To my utter surprise MIL continues with therapy. She goes once, sometimes 2 times a week and according to FIL has been making quite the progress. MIL has asked us to go to one or multiple sessions with us. It was her own idea. She wanted us to talk about it but in the confides of the therapy room as she feels like the therapist is unbiased. All right MIL, you scored another point for yourself with that in my, still suspicious, eyes. Hubby and I talked about it, between ourselves and our own therapist. We made a list, what did we want to talk about and what not. In we went and it went.....quite well. Therapist started, explained why we were asked. We could say what we thought and MIL told them that she understood (more/better/finally) our standpoint. She had written down some examples Hubby had used and she had a talk with FIL and even other family members about situations in which she blatantly favoured Blabbermouth. To keep it short(er) she explained why she felt how she felt, she understands that she should have done things somewhat differently and that she is sorry if she took Blabbermouth's side too much. She felt that Blabbermouth was like her in some ways (not the entitled ways) and therefore couldn't help herself. OK.....Hubby and I just absorbed what she had said. I simply asked what made her see it this way. Some uncomfortable moving from her side while asking what I meant. I asked the therapist if I could be honest, blunt to a point. I could to a point. I told MIL that if things got difficult or/and when she wants things to stop happening she starts ignoring what happens. Like an ostrich she sticks her head in the sand hoping everything just blows over. Going to therapy and basically dig up every little dirty thing about this was difficult. What has happened that made her go against this tactic of hers? She looked me in the eye and said 'The therapist made me see you and Hubby as kind people who love their family to a fault, allowing a lot, maybe too much. That you love me. I ruined so much by my actions. FIL said the same, aunts and uncles said the same, even the ones who hurt you. The fact that my own son, you, and the children, didn't want any contact with me was the wake up call. I know what I did was stupid, but I really had the feeling you blamed me for everything that happened and what was still going on.’ I asked if I could speak on my own behalf. I told her that I didn't blame her for what was going on, I didn't blame her for the things EC or Blabbermouth did. That were THEIR choices, not hers. She had nothing to do with any of it directly. However, I told her that by giving in so much in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, Blabbermouth got accustomed of getting her way and expecting others to do what she wanted. If she didn't get her way she would manipulate to get her way. What felt like a knife through our heart is that I was attacked and in danger, our children were in (some) danger and she kept asking for pity and mercy for Blabbermouth, condoning her actions, not looking at or not wanting to see what she was doing to us. That went too far, that hurt too much. We understand that she loves her daughter, but it is her (selective) blindness, that condoning, excusing that behaviour etc that just hurt us the most. I repeated what I have stated before. 'Love her as you want, I cannot and won't tell you who to love or not. But look at the actions of a person, the facts of them. She hurt us, your son, me and your grandchildren. We also matter.' Hubby said he agreed with this and added his own feelings as well. She started crying and saying she was sorry. She simply didn't/couldn't believe one child was hurting her other one. It ended there with a new appointment for a couple of weeks ( summer holiday for the therapist). I think it's a good start. So to be continued. NC will continue outside of the sessions. In the meantime we have also had to deal with SOB, Blabbermouth's youngest. Last time he tried to intimidate my Eldest and by doing so he could say farewell to his college fund. The grapevine (his elder siblings) told me that his father, BIL, shouted at him for his stupidity as SOB had been warned not to do anything against any of us. We were still willing to let him use the funds for his college education but he had to stay out of the situation. BIL and Blabbermouth were told that very, very clearly (thanks to LF) and they made sure that it was clear to SOB. Well, SOB wasn't to pleased he got yelled at by his father and by his mother during a visit. He didn't like it that whatever funds his mommy and daddy have/had were now being used for lawyer fees and not quite sure if there would be money left after everything. He didn't like it that he got a firm and resounding 'screw you' ... ahem 'No' from his two eldest siblings after he demanded from them that they pay for his college education. His reasoning was that since they had jobs, they should help him out He didn't like it that both sets of grandparents aren't helping him out either with money. He didn't like it that he doesn't get any support or pity from anyone. He certainly didn't like it that when he asked our aunts and uncles for money and started to whine everything fell on deaf ears and got told that this was a lesson that he needed to learn. Poor SOB, a lot of things happened that he didn't like. And in true Blabbermouth fashion he blamed it on our family. What does the idiot do? He came to our house and like EC (Family stupidity I think) he came by our house. Unfortunately for him, Froufrou and Lefou were waiting for him in the backyard....out of sight.....when he climbed over our fence. NN, NW and us were at some elderly neighbours of ours a couple of houses away and since the lady is a bit scared of dogs we opted to leave them in our yard. The couple has 'adopted' us and since the lady of the house is an amazing cook and baker to say the least we love to frequent the place and help them out with what is needed. We were sitting in their yard, chatting away when we heard the screams and barks. I can't really run so I go and check the footage of our at home cameras. Lo and behold, SOB is crouching on the same table EC was when he had to flee for 100 pounds of protective muscle, fat and sweetness...a.k.a. Froufrou. Now SOB got the honour and pleasure to meet Froufrou and LeFou at the same time. SOB was. not. happy. Blue clothed lads and ladies armed with shiny and not so shiny accessories show up and take him away. We don't think he can be legally charged with anything more than trespassing but beggars can't be choosers. According to our inside informants on that side it's safe to say BIL wasn't happy would be an understatement. SOB was picked up from the station, got tore some brand new holes, got his game consoles, iPad and everything deemed non-essential taken from him by his father, he has limited access to his laptop ( school only) and has been grounded to boot. SOB is sulking a lot according to his siblings. When he started to cry to one of his brothers, he got told that it's his own fault and that he was stupid. He certainly doesn't get any pity from others. Why is SOB so entitled? Blabbermouth coddled him and that had more effect on him than when his father set him straight. We do hope that away from the influence of evil..uuuh his mother it might set him straight. Let's keep our fingers crossed for this. Also, our court date is getting closer. As of now it is scheduled for the end of October if there aren't any delays. I'll update again after that. [**Wonder Woman: The story of how EC got hit by the karma train driven by his now ex wife.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/wl4o88/wonder_woman_the_story_of_how_ec_got_hit_by_the/) submitted August 10, 2022 First of all: As I'm not really familiar to Reddit I just found out I had tons of messages from readers that I have missed. I didn't know that people could also do that. I also try to reply to as many as I can, but to the sheer amount of them and my limited time I'm not always able to respond. My apologies. Some people asked me to update on WW. WW is Wonder Woman, the now ex-wife of EC, is doing. She is doing amazing. She sold the house and the car that was in her name. She moved away to a place she is unwilling to share. She has a PO-box somewhere and we see each other whenever we can. In the beginning she looked so drained and scared but now.....wow! WW looks amazing. The kids are doing great. WW has a job she truly enjoys and her parents help when they can with childcare. Her ex-FIL (father of EC) does get to see the grandchildren but without CoddleMum (CM), her ex-MIL. What I didn't know is that CoddleMum tried to get custody of the children by involving Child Protective services with false accusations. She got a slap on the wrist to which ex-FIL told her not to do anything stupid as he would divorce her. Since they have a prenup she will be left with a lot less (still comfortable) than she has now. CM loves to brag about her "status" so a divorce is not something she wants. It took a while but slowly WW told family members and friends what EC was doing. He never hit her, no physical or sexual abuse. Still, plenty of emotional and financial abuse. I won't share the details. WW asked me not to but she is dealing with it as best she can. Like us, she, her parents, friends and relatives are somewhat afraid of what might happen in case EC gets out of jail. She has a good lawyer so they are, like us, busy with protective measures. This is EC we're dealing with, he is stupid and we are low-key placing bets on how long it will take for him to show up to which place. So, small but a nice update. I'm glad she 's doing better. [**Trial has started, an update on us and CoddleMum just had to prove she's an idiot.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/yczios/trial_has_started_an_update_on_us_and_coddlemum/) submitted October 25, 2022 A small update for you all. Hopefully this post will find you all in good health and spirits. First the abbreviations and people explained once more: LF: Lawyer friend Hubby: My husband MIL: My mother in law, Hubby's mother. NN: Nice neighbour NW: Nice neighbour's wife. CoddleMum: EC's mother. The trials have started. I can't say anything about what is discussed until it's all over and done with. I can tell you that both EC and Blabbermouth seemed extremely nervous yet somewhat confident (arrogant even?) when we (hubby and I) saw them the first day. We have not returned since I have work that needs to be done and Hubby has trouble seeing his own family in the stands. Another point is that we have little desire to spent our time in a court room looking at the people who caused so much misery in our lives. Victims statements are in the file and those will be read out when it's time. LF updates us as well as some friends and my parents who apparently decided for themselves they wanted to be present every time or whenever they could. I told them that it isn't necessary, especially since my parents are elderly. But my mother simply flashed me a look that said “enough”. My father isn't man of many words but lets his actions speak for him most of the time. He said 'In our time of need, you and your brother are there for us. Now we are doing what we should do as parents and what we have always tried to do; be there for you both in your time of need. Besides, I want to see what kind of people they are with my own eyes.' My friends basically agreed with my father. I was there for their highs and lows, now it's time to return the favour. My more devilish friends say they are going as much as they can just to see how big of a hole they dig for themselves. I love these people. Hubby is not doing so well. Like I said, he has a hard time dealing with the fact that his own sister and cousin are on trial for harming me and trying to take his children. Anger and sadness are his two main emotions. The children are also quite nervous. We keep them informed on how things are and LF is doing a great job on giving unbiased information on what happens and how court proceedings work. Especially Eldest is one for the details and nuances. He wants to know everything. Apart from nervous, they feel frightened once more. All this time EC and Blabbermouth were locked in a cell, safely away from them. Now they realise that a verdict will be given on the time they will serve IF they will have to serve at all. (We like to keep their release an option, as you never know). Therapist visits have increased to once a week online and once a week in real life. NN and NW have increased their visits with Froufrou and the kids sleep better now that Lefou is with us as well. Nothing works better to soothe their anxiety than some gently giants giving hugs and slobbery kisses that will go into protective mode when needed. Things with MIL have become somewhat better, but she seems to be on a crossroads now that her daughter's trial has started. She has started her 'Oh my poor daughter' spiel again. We don't blame her, and she has kept the whole 'Have pity on her' out of her vocabulary. CoddleMum also made an appearance. She decided in her infinite wisdom that it was a good idea to show up on our doorstep on the day before trial started. We saw her through the doorbell camera. NN saw her and asked if he could help her. Smart man kept her in front of the camera the entire time. She asked in a rather rude manner who he was. When he stated he lived in the neighbourhood and was walking his dog she told him that she was here on an urgent legal matter. She was there to ........drumroll please.....threaten us with legal action if we didn't stop the court proceedings. Her grounds? Her son was provoked by my actions and thus it was self defense... Therefore everything in court didn't need to happen and we should drop the charges. EC should be found not guilty if that couldn't happen anymore and we should tell the judge/jury that. CoddleMum continued that if we didn't she had no choice but to take matters into her own hands and contact our country's child protective services claiming we were hurting our children and file charges against us for defamation. NN can be serious when needed but in the face of this blatant stupidity, entitlement and /or delusion ( you choose) he just laughed. He explained to her that this was not how it works and that she just stated she is trying to blackmail us by lying. But EC has his entitled tendencies from his mother so of course she doubled down and stated that all we did was lie and that I should have done what I had been told. For some reason this woman can't understand that Hubby and I made a joined and unanimous decision on not wanting to be a moneytree/ATM. NN told her to go away, get a therapist and prepare for the NC order that could be coming her way.So you can guess what and who has kept LF extra occupied. On a side note: I know that people will warn us that child protective services can be called by her or someone else out of vindictiveness and spite. We know, don't worry. Joke will be on them though. We asked for their help on how to deal with our children after EC attempted to break into our home and again after what happened to them and me as well. They have also been involved due to the fact that my children were witness/victim of an attempted abduction. We have assessed as parents as well as a standard procedure and we are deemed fit parents (thankfully). They are updated on the things necessary. So that was the update. I will update as things progress.

The story of OOP’s very entitled in-laws, part 5

NEW UPDATE

BORU_Lover

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zn1qqc

Originally posted by deleted in r/AmItheAsshole on Dec 8, '22, updates are in the same post later that dayish (undated so i can only go off the original post date). I have changed the initials to fake names for an easier read. [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zgif45/aita_for_not_inviting_my_step_mother_and_her/) AITA for not inviting my step mother and her daughter at my wedding? I (24f) am getting married next summer to my fiancee Joe. My mom died when i was 7. Dad married Kay 4 years later. Kay has a daughter Ella (22) from a previous relationship. Kay and Ella are easily the most entitled, spoil and rude people I've ever met. They never treated me like family, Kay has done everything possible to push me away from the family. I haven't been in any family pictures since i was 14. I was never allowed on any family vacation/activities. Per Kay's request, my dad banned any family members from giving me any gifts for my birthday/holidays. She always hated me. I can't even remember all the times i cried because of the things she would say to me. Ella was the favorite child. Whatever she wanted they would get it for her. Me? I had to work if i wanted something. School supplies? Work for them. My clothes don't fit me anymore? Work for new clothes. Ella liked to break my stuff and i would be grounded because i got mad at her. My last straw was when she cut all pictures i had of mom. Dad found me crying and when i showed him the pictures he told me to let it go. I packed a bag and when to stay with my grandparents. I was 17. Dad never came for me. Never called or texted me either. He reached out to me when i was 20, apologised and said he wanted to reconnect. I told him if he wants that he will have to work very hard to earn a relationship with me since he hasn't been my dad since i was 12 and in 3 years i haven't heard from him at all. He said he'll do anything to be my dad again. Since then I've been LC with him because i don't feel like he's putting enough work into our relationship. I finished college last year and he attended the ceremony and after that we spent the entire weekend together bonding. It was the first time i felt like i had a dad in almost 13 years. I wanted my dad to attend the wedding a guest but i don't want Kay or Ella there. I talked to my dad about it and he was ok with attending as a guest (my grandpa will be walking me down the aisle) but he was really mad when i said i will not invite Kay and Ella. His reasoning is that they are his family so that makes them mine too and he doesn't want them to be excluded. He then said he will not attend if they aren't invited so i said "ok. I guess then you won't attend my wedding and our relationship is over since you're choosing them over me again. It is my wedding and i don't want those disgusting people there. Please don't contact me again. Go be with your perfect little family and forget i exist. You have practice on that. Goodbye" then i blocked his number. Some family members reached out to me and told me i should be the bigger person and maybe the wedding could be what's going to fix our relationship. My grandparents said that it's my big day and i shouldn't have people that make me uncomfortable there. Joe and his parents agree that i shouldn't invite people that hurt me just because they are legally considered family. So AITA? *Verdict: Not the Asshole* Update The situation has blown out of proportions. Kay's family has been blowing up my phone sending me death/rape threats and what's worse is that they have send the same threats to my grandparents. I had a panic attack so bad when my grandma called me and told me so I'm currently that I'm currently in the hospital. Joe's mom is with me and Joe and his dad went to my hometown to bring my grandparents here because I'm honestly scared something may happen to them. I don't know what to do. This has turned into a nightmare. And before you suggest a restraining order, in my country they won't give you one unless they actually hurt you. Joe aunt has offer to have us move in with her across the country and as much as we love our life here we will accept her offer. Edit: a lot of people keep asking why Kay and Ella want to come to my wedding when they clearly hate me. I don't think they want to come. I think it's the fact that i don't want them there that makes them want to come. They're not used to being told no. Edit: I've had some comments saying i should expose their treats on social media and i think I'll do that + tag all of them. I can update after i do that if y'all what me to. Thank you for all the comments and messages! Update: i posted all the texts alongside the back story on FB and Instagram and i tagged them all. Safe to say they aren't happy. Kay and Ella are now cut off by all her family because apparently they didn't know about how they treated me. Kay and Ella have been lying to Kay's family for years pretending to be good step mother/sister and painting me as the bitch that never accepted me and made their lives hell. In addition, my dad is offering me money to delete the post because his friends and boss saw it. Dad's friends refuse to talk to him and his boss wants to see him first thing Monday morning and I'm assuming it is to fire him because dad' job involves public relations and this is bad for their image. Now they are blowing up my phone with apologies and begging me to delete everything. My dad is blaming Kay for all of this and he's considering divorcing her in hope to save his reputation. On another note, we accepted Joe's aunt offer to move in with her and we are thinking to make the move to aunt's city permanent because honestly I'm in love with this place and we may even get better paying jobs here. Anyways, tonight we are going to have a small party to celebrate my dad's life being ruined.

Woman Doesn't Want To Invite Step Mother & Step Sister To Her Wedding (AITA Dec 8, '22)

CONCLUDED

KittenDealinMama

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