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yw4665

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TIFU by expecting my family to pay for my birthday dinner

ONGOING

woodtori

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yw5jif

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/carboncopy404 **in** r/AmItheAsshole   trigger warnings: >!Infidelity!<   [**AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s a bad person?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k39l2y/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriend_hes_a_bad_person/?utm_source=share&amp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Butm_medium=ios_app&amp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Bamp%3Butm_name=iossmf) \- 29th Nov 2020 Hi, sorry for any bad formatting as I’m on mobile. So recently my boyfriend got some dental trays for his teeth done (moulds of your teeth), which can be used to put product in to whiten your teeth. He’s done this before but lost his last set of trays, so went somewhere new to get some new trays done. My boyfriend told me that when going to pick up his dental trays, the receptionist just gave him the trays without asking for the payment of them. He then took the trays and left knowing he had not paid for them. The receptionist called shortly after he left and explained that a mistake was made and could he please either come back and pay for the trays or pay over the phone. My boyfriend lied saying he was adamant he had already paid before picking the trays up, and it wasn’t his fault that they had no record of him paying/that he didn’t keep his receipt to prove it to them. He was pretty vocal to me about not wanting to pay for the dental trays if he didn’t have to, and that it was the receptionists mistake and on her. What sparked our argument about this was a car journey where he answered the phone to the manager of the dental practice, who was following up the call with the receptionist. My boyfriend continued with his lie that he had already paid and it was not his problem that they could not provide proof of this. Now, something about witnessing him lie so easily to this man really bothered me, and it bothered me that he didn’t care if the receptionist may get into serious trouble or even lose her job over this mistake, or that he wasn’t losing out by paying as he would’ve paid for the product in normal circumstances. After the call (which didn’t reach any resolution) I told him that was very uncomfortable for me to hear and witness, and he’s a bad person for lying like that when he knows full well it was likely an honest mistake by the receptionist, and he got a product he didn’t pay for. My boyfriends now giving me the silent treatment and seems really hurt that I called him a bad person, he says most people would avoid paying for something if they didn’t have to. AITA? Should I apologise?   **Verdict - NTA**   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k80bdn/update_aita_for_telling_my_boyfriend_hes_a_bad/) \- 7th Dec 2020 ​ I spoke to the manager of the dental practice. I explained that my boyfriend (BF) had been open to me about not paying and that he doesn’t plan to. The manager said a letter was already on the way demanding the payment, and if BF fails to pay then court proceedings will begin. He was thankful I called and knew it was their mistake, but was surprised by my BF’s attempts to argue with him. That’s a good result for now. I didn’t plan on telling my BF as I wanted to end it (there’s been too many red flags, so I decided I couldn’t ever truly trust him) and I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. But before I got to end our relationship in person, I learnt another painful lesson. Recently my BF’s laptop broke. This was fine as it was old and he can’t work from home anyway (he sells cars), so he’s used mine. Earlier this week I’m on my laptop working and go to check my personal emails, except my BF’s email was still logged in when I opened the webpage. I go to log out but saw the most recent 30 ish emails were all from the same person, a girl. This was weird as who emails like that to converse anymore? I know it was an invasion of privacy, but I clicked onto the emails. I deduced this was a girl from his work, they were emailing because her mobile phone was broken, and emailing him from her work email during the day was an easy way for them to still talk. The emails were flirtatious. They mentioned dates they’d been on, he’d clearly been to her house, they spent lunch breaks together and she thought he was single. The more I read the more enraged I became. What if I’d never clicked the email? After considering where I could bury him, I decided to remain calm. I called my manager to tell her what I’d just learned, she’s super cool and said to take the afternoon. I then called an emergency locksmith and packed up my BF’s stuff (he alternates between staying at mine and his mums), except for his PS5 I bought for his 25th birthday last month. When this purge of my BF from my life was ready, I text him: “I know about S. Our relationship is over, your things are on the doorstep. You must transfer me the money for XYZ. Please don’t ever contact me again.” And blocked him on everything. A little while later, there’s knocking are at my door as he’s pleading to be let in to talk about it. I can see him but stay silent where he can’t see me. He was on his knees crying, begging, pleading for me not to leave him. Whether they were crocodile tears or not, my heart ached. After some time he left with his stuff. I felt relief and had a good cry, but I doubt that’s the last I’ll hear from him. I feel heartbroken, and stupid. An enormous thank you to all those who said his behaviour was revealing of his character/what he’s capable of, I will apply the same vigilance to future partners. I know this is a dodged bullet, but it hurts like hell. EDIT Just wanted to clarify some things: * I kicked him out of my house. I own it, he’s never paid anything towards it and has no documentation linking him to my house. He alternates between staying at mine and his mother’s, with his mother’s being his official and primary residency. * Weirdly, some of you were really focused on the fact I kept the PS5. But I paid for it, have the receipts and it never left my home. I feel like retracting this gift he’s had little over a week as an asshole tax is morally justified after he’s been a 5\* asshole. (And last time I checked this was a moral judgement not a legality sub?). …I think they’d be very different comments if this was the other way round and he’d just given me an engagement ring and then found out I was cheating not even 2 weeks later. Yes it’d be mine under the jurisdiction of a gift, but is it morally right I get to keep the ring? Probably not. * I noted down the email of the girl my ex was cheating with in case I wanted to contact her directly. I was thinking of constructing a message explaining everything and assuring her I’m not bitter towards her. Then it’s up to her what she wants to do with that info. * Thanks so much for all the supportive messages and comments, I am reading every single one. I’m honestly shocked at the amount of kindness from strangers!     **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

BF tries to defraud a dental practice & OOP starts to notice more red flags.

CONCLUDED

raredontstare

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yw6cy3

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwra0727 in r/relationship_advice** trigger warning: >!child abuse!< ---   [**I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/iicquc/i32m_am_in_love_with_my_former_sister_inlaw27f/) - 28 August 2020 TLDR at Bottom This will be a long post. I'm finally at a point where I can't stand this anymore. I've been in love with this woman for a very long time, maybe a couple of years at this point and I'm not sure if I should just kill it or attempt to make something with her. I met my ex-wife, her sister, when I was 23-years-old and the relationship developed very quickly and by 26 I had my son and daugther and had gotten married. However, within months of being married my ex-wife had an affair, but worse than that the man she cheated with had gotten her into Heroin. After confronting her on this she said she was going to get help, but instead she left in the night. I haven't heard from her in 4 years and last I've heard she's still with that guy and are homeless in Las Vegas. Not sure how true that is, but being focused on holding it together for the kids, I really don't have the time to chase her down, nor do I want to after what she pulled. I ended up getting a divorce in absentia. I did however maintain a very positive relationship with my inlaws after the fact. Every other weekend my kids stay over with their grandparents on that side and they pretty much treat me like a son still, I still go to parties at Christmas and am reasonably liked by the family. Nobody talks about my ex anymore mainly to not worry my kids. My oldest, my son is very hurt by his mother leaving. He's 9 now and I've had to get therapy for him after he told me he hoped his mother was dead. She had been getting verbally abusive toward the end which was when he was around 5 or 6 Anyhow, in the year following my ex leaving, her sister and my her boyfriend had started coming around a lot to see the kids. They knew I worked a lot and would babysit and call it practice as they wanted to have children of their own. My kids love them and were spoiled by them, which I didn't mind because we all needed a little positivity. They got married and were very in love. However, her husband was killed in a workplace accident shortly after the birth of their daughter. It has been extremely rough and painful for everyone involved as one can imagine. I followed my Sil's example and began to take her daughter to give her time to herself if things got too hard to deal with or she needed alone time. She's been in grief counciling for a few years but she still wears her ring and has told me she can't ever imagine dating again. I talk to her about him frequently and she's gotten to a better place but she's still very much in love with him, I can't imagine that sort of pain. Over the last two years we've been a more constant figure in each others lives. My kids love their aunt and I have her over for dinner a couple times a week. My daughter and her daughter have become close and love being around each other so they have sleepovers. I've moved on from my ex by this but the idea of dating possibly someone dangerous as their mother has kept me out of the dating scene. I don't know when it happened, but slowly I began to get soft on my SIL. She's a great mom for what she's had happen to her. She's one of the sweetest people I know and her sense of humor always leaves me laughing and happy. Then I started realizing that I'm physically attracted to her. I've always felt kind guilty about it because her late husband was a good friend and since she's obviously is still grieving, so I've kept it to myself. Since Covid started we've been together a bit more because social distancing has had us lose contact with most other people. Nothing romantic has ever been discussed and I try not to flirt, but last week it was very late and after the kids went to bed I made us a few drinks, not enough to get drunk but she decided she'd rather spend the night, so I took my couch. I woke up to breakfast this morning and the four of us felt like the sort of family I've always wanted. She even kissed my forehead which is not something she normally does. I still didn't say anything, but after she left I found my son quietly playing with his toys in his room. He looked upset so I asked him if he was alright. He tells me point blank in the way only a kid can that he wishes Sil was his mother. I sat down with him and asked him why he thought that way and he gave a whole bunch of reasons her being nice to him, that she never yells about anything. He likes seeing her at his grandparents and she draws pictures with him, which I didn't know they did. By the end of it my heart that is already melting for this woman even more wound up. When visiting dropping them off with their grandparents, I tried to breach the subject with her folks to kinda feel around how people would see. I made a joke about she and I acting like a married couple sometimes and they didn't laugh and were kind of stand offish, friendly but either they know something or they disapprove. It's getting too hard for me to ignore or pretend it's not getting to me. I'm in love with her. Either I've got to kill it and find some way not to think of her, or I have to find some sort of way to navigate through this situation and tell her everything. If anybody out there has any insight on how to approach a widow, especially one who was married to a friend, with this sort of intention I could really use your help. TLDR- Sil and I became close after my divorce to her sister and death of her husband. She's great with my kids. I'm in love and don't know how to proceed.   [**Update- I(32M) am in love with my former sister in law(27f)**](https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRA0727/comments/ikcsvt/update_i32m_am_in_love_with_my_former_sister_in/) - 1 September 2020 TLDR at the bottom, this is a long one.\\ Firstly I'd like to thank everyone who gave me advice on how to proceed and ideas and things I could maybe say to my former SIL. What I ended up doing. Shortly after making the first post, I remembered that my children were spend Sunday night over their grandparents house, and typically when they do this, my niece, Sils daughter will join them. I allow these biweekly visits because I think it's important for them to maintain a healthy relationship with their mother's parents. And Sil let's her daughter go because she enjoys playing with my daughter. Well I realized we'd both have a free night. Normally I'd just game or hit the gym an extra night but I figured it would be the perfect opportunity to Sil without the kids being around. So I sent her a text saying "Hey, kids are out this Sunday, was thinking you might wanna get dinner." It was a fairly upscale place that reopened two months or so ago for outdoor dining. I never ask her out to dinner and we're almost never alone together, or without a child in the other room. She says she'd love to and so my panic starts setting in because now I've gotta actually act on my feelings. I ask her if she'd prefer meeting at my place and taking one car or meeting at the restaurant, she says she'll come by my place first. I'm a bit more cleaned up then normal, dressed up but not overly dressed. She show's up and my God, she's in a very nice evening dress, make up (Not something she normally wears.) really looking stunning. I must have been slack jawed for a second I had to be lol. We make a little small talk compliment how we look but I still don't have my nerve yet and she isn't pushing the issue. Dinner is really wonderful, they had live jazz type group playing. Definitely coming back to this place. She tells me this is the first time she's really had an adult social outing that didn't involve her daughter in a few years and I mention that it's about as long for me. We're laughing, joking, talking, a little casual touching here and there. I can't seem to find my nerve though, I'm afraid of ruining this moment, so I just submit to having fun. But as we're leaving my mind snaps and I'm just like fuck it. And when we stand to go back to the car, I give her my arm and we walk back to the car arm and arm no awkwardness, nobody mentioning that it's happening. I open her door for her and I plan on driving her back to her car. As I open the door she stops me. Looking sort of nervous, she just outright tells me to stop and that she want to kiss me. There was no alcohol at dinner so this is all her. So I pull her in and we kiss. I can barely describe how wonderful it felt to finally touch her. Well the kissing goes on outside this restaurant with her leaned against my car for at least a half and hour. When we finally break we share a few more dreamy looks before we get in the car and drive back to my place. She's holding my hand as I'm driving, I don't think I've ever been happier. I confess to her that I've started having feelings for her a long time ago but what with the terrible things we went through I didn't want to scare her away. She tells me that she's carried a torch for about 6 months herself. At that time I had gone on a couple Tinder dates and since we were just friends I described what a mess of a time those dates were. She tells me she began feeling intensely jealous and angry that I was seeing these girls it was about that time it clicked in her mind that she had some how developed feelings for me. As it turns out I didn't approach her because of her late husband and she wasn't approaching me because she was afraid I'd see too much of her sister, my ex wife, in her and start to resent her for it. I invited her in after we got back home and we decided to try and fight off the desire to jump straight into bed, and just sat on couch snuggling and talking about what we would need to do to make this a working relationship. There was some really teary moments there. We of course talked about her late husband a little and where she feels in the grief process saying I don't want to rush her and that I'm not going anywhere if she needs time I'll wait as long as she needs me to. She says that she feels like she's in a place where she could love again, that she's long past feeling guilty for having feelings for me, it was something she struggled with. She then brought up her sister, and the obvious questions a few people asked in the comments. What would we do if ex ever decided to show her face around here again or try to get back into my kids life. What if she comes back reformed and apologetic would I take her back. I told Sil that's a hard no, that I've forgiven her for cheating on me, but I will never forgive her for what she did to my son. He was quite a sunshiny and happy boy before his mother started cheating, using, and lashing out at him. He's doing better now, but for a long while his behavior and negativity for somebody so young troubled me. Sil was concerned how he might react to her as unlike our respective daughters he is old enough to understand everything. I told her not to tell him as it might embarrass him, but not to long ago he told me his wished his Aunt was his Mom instead. We said we were going to take it slow and now go to fast with things, but the kissing started again and since we were in private this time... we gave up the fight to stay out of the bedroom. I have had fantasies throughout the duration of my feelings for her, and getting to pet her face in the morning was one I finally got to live out. Moving forward, we are going to establish date nights and work on building on our already strong foundation. When we inevitably tell our folks we're a couple we're going to do it together. But that's where I'm at. That's it, that's my update. If this subbreddit allows maybe I'll do another to say how the parents, inlaws, and kids take the news. 2 years of wishing she was mine and now she is. Better not F this up. TLDR- We're in love. Edit Oh my God this really blew up! First of all thank you for all the crazy rewards, I'd respond to your posts but they locked my post which annoys me because I want to respond to as many people as I can. Thank you for all the love and support, I'm in love with an angel and I will update in the future! Anyway, does anyone know a Subreddit I could post this to that wouldn't get locked. I feel guilty that people took the time to leave me messages and that I can't reply or speak with them! I checked this and was like Holy HELL! I've gotta get dinner and get the kids to bed but if somebody could suggest a place to post updates in the future where things aren't so strict, I would appreciate it!   [**1 Week Update- I(32M) am in love with my former sister in law(27f)**](https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRA0727/comments/inyuem/1_week_update_i32m_am_in_love_with_my_former/) - 7 September 2020 TLDR at the Bottom, this is quite long. Edit- I forgot to add that I am refering to my ex-wife as Jessica and my Sister inlaw, who I had been calling Sil, to Silvia because funny. Well we've told everyone, and for the most part it's gone over fairly well. When our respective kids were with my inlaws, Silvia and I went to go see my parents. They've met her a handful of times but they don't really know her too well as my inlaws and my family rarely attended mutual functions. They at least recognized who she was. My dad isn't a particularly sentimental person so I have no idea what he thinks about it, but my mother is on board. She did ask "Does Jess know?" and we told her that I haven't even spoken with her in 4 years and Silvia hasn't heard from her in two, that we'd Cross that bridge when we got to it. Other then that my folks just seemed happy for me. Yesterday we attended a small family gathering for labor day at my inlaws. We knew the reception here would be a little more chilly as they're all also related to my ex-wife. My parents did us the favor of taking the kids to the zoo for the afternoon and ice cream too. We arrived at the party together and of course everybody is wondering where the kids are. Felt like a million things were telling me not to do this, by I took her by the hand and we both explained the kids were not here because we intended on telling everyone that we are now a couple. This wasn't a huge crowd, maybe like 8 people but it really felt like I announced it to a stadium. I don't know how we expected it to go but several of her aunts were very pleased with this. We got some hugs. At first nobody even mentioned my Ex-wife. They were just happy because they had all settled on Silvia just never dating again. It was only Mil that caused any issues. She told the party that she knew we were an item because I was always giving her "Puppy dog eyes" and told them Silvia talked about me nonstop. She asked for how long we had been dating in secret and I told her only a week. She scoffed and told me that she didn't think starting a relationship off by lying would be a smart move. She then accused, albeit it in a joking manner to the guests that Silvia and I had vanished at a pool party in June to "Smooch" Her mother and father asked to talk with us after the party and asked us just how serious things were, and like my parents asked whether my ex-wife knew or not. When I said no and that her opinion shouldn't matter given she abandoned her family 4 years ago, they said they would be more comfortable with everything if I was to tell Jessica that I am now dating her sister. They are both intensely afraid that my ex will return sober and renewed, make an attempt to make amends, discover that I am now in love with her younger sister and relapse. It sounded to me as if they knew something I didn't and as it turns out Jess has been calling and talking to them for a year now and they just haven't told me, I was upset they kept this from me. Silvia was very upset too, because not once after her husband's death has Jess ever tried to call her. They show me her Facebook profile, the one she blocked me from and there she is looking pretty normal, not like a burned out husk. I have to admit that seeing her not looking like the junkie she became when she left made me feel a little better and Silvia too. Her parents kept their contact with her a secret because she is ashamed of what she's done and feels that she's deserved to lose her kids and and couldn't face them after all that happened. Silvia's parents gave me her phone number and asked that I please call her and speak with her. I told her that my feelings for Silvia are real and there is no chance I reconcile with Jess. Fil seemed to nod in approval, but Mil honestly looks like she was hoping we'd fix things. After we left I talked to Silvia about it, and though we discussed it before, a circumstance where Jess returns, we decided to revisit the conversation in light of these new revelations. I told Sil that I am in love with her, my whole heart is hers and that my feelings of love for her are something deeper and stronger than anything I ever felt for my ex-wife. She ends up crying from the stress of the situation, anger with her parents for keeping secrets, and anger with her sister for not calling her or offering condolances at all after her husband's death. She then admits that she is afraid I might leave her if her sister returns and I assure her this will never happen. It took some long hugs and a lot of kisses to smooth over the situation but by the time we went to pick up the kids, we were holding hands together again and feeling more connected than ever. She's been spending the night at my place pretty frequently since we've been together. So the kids don't see anything I've been setting my alarm for 5 in the morning, getting up and moving to the couch. Well the morning after we decided to tell the little ones what is going on. Our daughters seemed very happy but they are too young to really grasp what's actually taking place, all they know is they can play together more. I did take my son aside, just me and him and asked him if he was okay with this and what he thought about it. He asked if we'd all be living together, I told him maybe someday. He asked if this made his aunt his stepmom now and I said he's free to call her what he's comfortable with and I will respect it and she would too because we both love him. He then asked me a lot of questions about his own mother, things he had never asked me before and I answered pretty much everything he wanted to know. I toned some of my answers down a bit. He's learned a little about the dangers of drugs from school programs and I was finally honest to that degree when I told him his mom had a problem and she made some bad choices. He asked me why his mother didn't love him and that broke my heart. I assured him the best I could that his mother did love him, she had just made a lot of terrible mistakes and that sometimes adults just don't do the right thing when they should. He asked me if I still loved her. I told him that I hoped she would get better and that I don't want her to be sick anymore, but that she hurt me and him so badly that I couldn't love her like I did before. I'm not sure he got all of that, but I tried explaining it to him the best I could. All that aside he has been so much happier and less withdrawn since Silvia has been with us and he's always going out of his way to do all the typical kid stuff to impress her that I did with my own Mom. At the end of the day I still have that phone call with the ex to dread. But, having Silvia with me, being able to kiss her and hold her at night, it really puts some joy back into me that's been gone for a very long time. I don't think I even knew how unhappy I had been all these years until I realized how happy she made me feel. We've been doing all the happy young lover stuff. She's been leaving me love letters in my work lunchbox, even little poems, and I had flowers sent to her place of work. She mentioned she had told me that a few of the ladies at work had been trying to get her to ask me out for several months, so I figured the flowers would both make her happy and be a firm thank you wink to the office girls lol. Thank you for everyone who commented or sent me messages on the first and second posts, they really made my day and helped me keep my cool to confess to her. Feel free to ask me anything, but I think this just about does it for my updates. TLDR- Girlfriend's family accepted the relationship with some reservations, my family accepted it as it was, Our children seemed pleased with the arrangement, and I'm looking at having to face my Ex-wife over this for the first time in 4 years.   [**Well Hell the mods locked my posts again for no given reason.**](https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRA0727/comments/k19auu/well_hell_the_mods_locked_my_posts_again_for_no/) - 26 November 2020 People have been asking me for an update for a couple months now so I figured I'd finally sit down and do one. What you're about to read is a comment I wrote like last week and I've just copied and pasted it as it's pretty much good enough to be a post. It details for the phone call with my ex wife went and a little more info. I did talk to her back in September, I keep going to write an update for this, but life got pretty hectic. I did write like a ten paragraph update like a month ago, but my laptop crashed I lost it and got discouraged. The Ex-wife is in a much better place and is in recovery. 8 months clean by this point. She finally told me the details of the affair and how things happened, how she got into drugs. Not stuff I really wanted to hear, but she's trying to get her life together and as much as I dislike the things she's done to me and the kids I want her to get healthy. I shouldn't but I worry about her still sometimes. Anyhow I got around to telling her about Silvia and I and she was dumbfounded by it. When I first met my ex she was 19 and Silvia was 14 and in her mind she always viewed her as a kid in regards to me, which to be fair I did used to refer to Silvia and her 'kid sister.' but when she remembered that her sister is a fully grown adult who was married and had a child that her hinting I was a creep stopped. She did ask if I had feelings for her while I was married and I denied that. We talked about the kids and she was really regretful and crying throughout the conversation. She has no idea how she'd be able to face them again. I wanted to say something reassuring, but I don't want to give her the impression that I want her in their lives. Cordial, even friendly, but I'm not going to be stupid. She and Silvia talked for a while too. I didn't eavesdrop intentionally, but from the bits I heard and what I was told, they talked about Silvia's husband. As it turns out my ex had gotten arrested for a BnE that week and spent it in jail. She didn't even know he passed until a couple weeks after the funeral and by that point she felt saying anything would make things worse. Things went as well as could be expected. Silvia, the three kids, and I have been spending almost everyday together and I haven't been happier in years. My son and daughter love all the motherly attention they've been getting and I'm really loving getting to learn more about my little niece. Life's good. Busy, but it's good. Thanks for asking. I might just copy and paste this as my update lol Alright that was my comment update and nothing has really changed in the week since I wrote it. If anybody has any questions or comments I'd be happy to answer what I can when I can, but during this season my workload increases dramtically and I don't have as much time to be on here as I did when I first posted. I'm so glad I got up the nerve to try with her. I love her so much. I'd been so long without a romantic partner, that I forgot what being in love, or feeling loved felt like. Now that I remember, it's shocking to me I didn't realize how alone and miserable I really was. I mean for Christ sake we played Scrabble last night and for some reason it made me ridiculously happy lol.   [**Mods removed but here- 1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f)**](https://www.reddit.com/user/ThrowRA0727/comments/p63vg9/mods_removed_but_here_1_year_update_i32m_am_in/) - 17 August 2021 Reposted here as automods took down the post. It has nearly been a year since my former sister-inlaw, Silvia, decided to begin dating. For anyone not familiar with the story a quick TLDR. I have two children and had been married to her sister, my ex-wife. A combination of cheating, drug abuse, and child abuse ended that relationship. The ex ran off to another state with her lover. I remained on good terms with her family as they all took my side. Silvia and her late husband became very close to me, but we tragically lost him to a workplace accident. Silvia in the years following that became close as our daughter's are best friends and eventually she and I both developed romantic feelings for each other. A year later and we are living together and I couldn't be happier. We're currently living together and are in the market for a new home. Our children are really benefiting from having two parents around to care for them. Our daughters have begun to call each other sisters and my son is accepted in the same way. They're basically just normal siblings. It is interesting with my son. When he is talking to his friends or teacher he refers to Silvia as his Mom, but when calling her or talking to her he still calls her aunty, and our daughters are the same as I am uncle. It confuses some people we meet, but it's always an interesting story to tell. We haven't had much contact with my ex-wife since my last post, though from what we hear she's doing much better. Has a halfway decent job, a boyfriend, and is keeping clean. I don't like to think about her being reintroduced into my children's lives, but if she continues to be a clean and well-rounded person, it will make it much harder for me to deny her visitation should she seek it. Not just from a legal standpoint, but from a moral one as well. Neither Silvia and I look forward to that day, but the worries seem way off. Her parents have stopped their prodding into our business and haven't tried to force the ex back into our lives as we feared. Our kids spend the weekend with them now as my two were already doing that before hand. So Silvia and I get to spend Friday night and most of Saturday to go on dates and have some alone time. Our mutual friends were all pretty surprised by this and have been very supportive as well. They try to be polite and not mention my ex-wife, but every so often it does come up. Mostly everyone is just happy that we've found happiness together. One side of the family that I failed to mention in all of this was the family of her late husband. As you might expect her daughter still sees them regularly, and they are very happy and accepting of the relationship. His father even told me point blank that he was glad it was me, because he thought he would hate his daughter-inlaw bringing some strange man into his granddaughter's life. We haven't had many gatherings of course because of Covid but the few get togethers we have had have included them, and will always include them. Speaking of her late husband, Silvia and I have talked quite a bit about our feelings and she's even had me come along to one of her therapy sessions, because despite everything going so well, and the immense and wonderful love we have for each other, his memory and presence will always be a part of our lives. She decided on her own that out of respect for me she had to take her wedding band off, something that caused a lot of sadness as you can imagine. I told her that she didn't need to do this and were we to get married, she's got two hands. After I said this she began to wear it on a necklace instead. She wears an engagement ring now. I don't have any crazy story on how the engagement went down I didn't spring it on her in some crazy public spectacle, but there were tears and hugs and kisses. If you've got any questions I'd be happy to answer them. Thank everyone so much for all the positive words of encouragement. 112 comments   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f)

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yw6cy3/i32m_am_in_love_with_my_former_sister_inlaw27f/

yw6pph

[removed]

I cheated in my first relationship.

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yw6pph/i_cheated_in_my_first_relationship/

yw9093

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/mila77peach in r/trueoffmychest** ---   [**My partner told me he was excited to start a family, but went and had a vasectomy done in secret. I don’t know how we can move forward from this.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yn2vzw/my_partner_told_me_he_was_excited_to_start_a/) - 5 November 2022 Context: I (22f) have known I’ve wanted to be a mom and have a family since I was little. I’ve been with my partner (24m) for six years now, and he was aware of this. He supported it, but obviously wanted to wait to start trying till we were older . I felt the same given we were still young when we first got together and not in the position to start a family. But now we have both graduated from college, are working stable jobs, and are engaged. Now that we are at this stage we discussed and agreed to start actively trying for a baby. That was about 7 months ago. He’s know how badly I’ve wanted this and has seen how upset I’ve gotten each month when tests come back negative. But he always supported me and comforted me telling me it’ll all happen soon. But it didn’t. Two weeks ago he told me we need to talk. those words never sound good. And they weren’t. He end up telling me that he had a vasectomy performed while I was on a trip with friends for my 21st birthday last year. While I respect his decision to do so, I still can’t help but be hurt that he did this and yet kept telling me “not to worry” and that “it’ll happen soon” and how “excited” he was to be taking this step. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t have told me he wasn’t ready or didn’t want kids. Prior to us starting to “try” I was on birth control and we used other protection methods. I really thought we were on the same page about wanting kids someday and when we decided to start trying. I’m just in complete shock that he hid such a major thing from me. We haven’t been speaking much and he’s been staying with his brother since he told me. I don’t know how we can work this out or move past this. I still love him, but I’m hurt that he acted like nothing was wrong. It’s making me doubt if I even want to go through with our wedding now, but at the same time I don’t want to leave. TLDR: I’ve been with my partner for 6 years. We recently have been trying to get pregnant. After a while of no luck he revealed he had a vasectomy that I was unaware of.   [**UPDATE ! : My partner told me he was excited to start a family, but went and had a vasectomy in secret. I don’t know how we can movie forward from this.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yo0cly/update_my_partner_told_me_he_was_excited_to_start/) - 6 November 2022 UPDATE I’ve gotten a lot of messages and questions regarding a update , I met to talk with my fiancé this morning and figured I would share the outcome of that conversation. As well as answer a lot of questions I’ve seen in comments or that I have received privately. I have received a lot of questions/comments about “his body, his choice”. And yes, I do agree with this statement. I said in my original post I respect his decision. It was his choice, his body, and his right to have a vasectomy performed. I never said I was upset that he had it done, but rather upset that when we began to start trying he acted as though he had not had it done and kept it hidden. Leaving me wondering why i couldn’t get pregnant when he knew exactly why. That was the issue. I don’t understand how that wasn’t apparent. Further, I had a lot of questions about how I couldn’t tell he had it done. I know nothing about vasectomy’s. So yes, I believed his claim of having it done when I was gone on a girls trip for my 21st birthday. But comments about the healing time frame and follow up testing made me doubt this/doubt that he had it done. The more I looked into the time frame of having the procedure done, I doubted him. Before all of this came out, I never had any doubts in my partner. He was always very trustworthy, caring, kind, and loving. We rarely argue or fight and even when we have it’s been over minor things. I never saw any red flags and those in my personal life never did either. He was genuinely a great guy. Which is what made not just leaving hard. We’ve been together for 6 years, and are we were set to be married in February. We have both invested so much time into this whole relationship as well as time and money into our wedding. So just ending things didn’t feel that easy for either of us. We had been staying apart from each other to give us each time to cool down before discussing what this would mean for our potential to have a future together. We met this morning to discuss the situation/so I could ask him why he hid this and what he shocked me even more. I blatantly asked him why he had the procedure done and when he began having doubts about having kids. His response was that he never doubted having kids but started to doubt his ability to have one/get me pregnant. He followed this up by saying he never had the procedure and knew as little about them as I did. Instead he had apparently discovered he had a lower then average sperm count due to hormonal issues at a recent doctors appointment after he mentioned we had been trying without any luck. This appointment was in August. He brought paperwork detailing and proving this to our meeting as well. He told me he didn’t know how to bring the topic up and mentioned that it made him feel embarrassed. And since he was told he wasn’t infertile and that we may just have a harder time getting pregnant he said he was just hoping it would just eventually happen so he wouldn’t have to say anything. He says he regrets hiding this, and regrets creating a lie to cover it, and I do forgive him. We did re discuss having kids to which he ensured me is something he still wants. I feel relief knowing his concern, words of encouragement, and comfort after every negative test was genuine as he did truly want them to be positive. When I asked why he created the lie of having a vasectomy rather than just telling me about the fertility issues, it again went back to him saying he felt a sense of embarrassment about the issue. He said he thought saying he had this on purpose would save him the ‘embarrassment’ of not being able to get me pregnant. He claims his inability to do so these last few months has made him doubt his masculinity and that by creating the idea that he purposefully chose to be sterile would make him seem ‘like more of a man’. While I don’t fully understand this way of thinking, I guess I can slightly understand how these issues may have made him feel ‘less than’ when he wasn’t and shouldn’t have felt that way. I offered him comfort and we discussed looking into medical interventions as well as just continuing to attempt to conceive naturally. I’m not leaving my fiancé. Yes I was upset over his lie, but he deeply regrets it. We both still love each other, both still want to be married, and both still want kids. We will however be looking into attending individual and couples therapy to get over this. We are going to postpone the wedding since it’s only 4 months away, and I’m the mean time keep trying to conceive naturally. We decided we will look into intervention methods after our wedding. I appreciate everyone’s advice on my last post, Thank you. I will try to answer any further questions in the comments but hope this answers a majority of them/clears everything up. Thanks.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My partner told me he was excited to start a family, but went and had a vasectomy done in secret. I don’t know how we can move forward from this.

ONGOING

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yw9093/my_partner_told_me_he_was_excited_to_start_a/

yw9c1t

Originally posted by u/happyfluffykitty in r/AmItheAsshole on Sept 29, '22, updated a few days later. [Original Post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xrcxo9/aita_for_telling_my_now_ex_friend_that_she/) AITA for telling my now ex friend that she shouldn't be proud of being overweight? My(f21) friend "Tara"(f20) has always been a little overweight, and in the past, she couldn't accept it. She tried so many diets, but nothing lasted more than a few weeks as, quote, "My love for food is so strong." A few years ago, she met a guy, and that was the hint she needed to get serious help from a professional doctor and to start exercising. I need to say she looked stunning after a few months and was able to "catch the guy." Let's say that the pandemic got the best of them, and after three long years of relationship, he dumped her. She was devastated at the beginning. She regained almost all the weight she had lost previously, but after some time, I and other friends managed to make her standing again. She came back to hanging out with us, and she flirted with some guys, nothing serious. In the meantime, another girl joined our group, let's call her "Maya." Maya is the kind of girl that's naturally fit and doesn't need exercising at all, and that's something Tara couldn't accept. She began teasing her all the time, saying things like, "Hey, don't hug her too tight, you might break her," "How can you manage to have sex? A boy could crush you", "I'm glad I gained my weight back because I used to look like you" or even "At least I have some meat they can grab, if a boy grabbed you where would he put his hands? On your collar bones?" Maya always tried to laugh it off as she was the "new girl, " but I could see her not being comfortable at all. Last night, after the umpteenth comment, I blurted a "at least she can fit in a pair of jeans." Tara suddenly fell silent as the rest of the group turned their heads on me, and I continued. "You shouldn't body shame someone over jealousy, and you shouldn't be proud of being overweight either. You know that doesn't help your medical conditions. " Tara stormed away, and a few girls followed her to check on her. Everyone called me an AH, saying that I shouldn't make fun of her for being overweight, nor should I bring up her medical conditions in front of someone that doesn't know her that much (Maya). I told them that it's hypocritical that they would scold me about saying that, something that's at least true, and wouldn't say a thing to Tara as she was body shaming Maya. So, AITA? *More info in a commnet:* Just for you to know, I've talked so much about weight since that's the topic of this post. I had to explain the situation before telling the story, and I had to let you have a chance to understand why Tara was acting like that. In daily life, I do not concentrate on someone else's weight like this. Tbh, I don't care if you're fat or thin or half half as long as you are not a ah. I made some other comments to Tara before snapping, but they were to "light" to make her listen to me ("Low blow", "Tara stop it", "You're taking it too far",...). Speaking about Maya, she thanked me a lot after the infamous dinner as the whole time she didn't know how to answer to her comment because she felt like everyone would have judged her. She also felt like everyone was enabling Tara to say and do anything she wanted just because she would play the "victim card" whenever she needed to and was then sure she would have been excluded by the group if she stood her ground. Also, it seems like Maya had spoken to some other girls from the group about this situation but they all answered things like "It's Tara, she's like that", "Don't worry, at some point she'll get tired of it" and my favorite "Well, you know, if we told her to stop it might hurt her feelings, she's so fragile". *Verdict: Not the Asshole* *Added as an edit a few days later:* Update: tonight I went to dinner at one of my friends' houses. There were Tara and Maya too, I knew that, and that's partially why I wrote the post. As I arrived, I took Tara and went in a separate room with her, I told her I was sorry for what I said, but that I talked out of frustration. I also told her that I think her bullying Maya all the time is not cool at all and that she should apologize. She nodded and said she totally understood my point of view but wasn't going to apologize because this wasn't the occasion. Everything seemed fine between us, even though I wasn't totally happy with her answer, and we went back to the others. Literally, twenty minutes ago, we had dessert. Do you see where I'm going? As I was eating the first bite of the cake, Tara announced, "As my name thinks that I'm fat, I decided to go on a diet, so I'm not having it." I almost choked. Everyone laughed out of embarrassment, not knowing exactly what to do or say. Then Maya turned to her and said, "Well, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you saying." I'm writing this from the passenger seat of Maya's car. We both left the house because there's been a huge fuss after Maya's comment and I finally realized that you don't have to hang out with people that you don't like anymore just because you were friends in highschool. So thanks, Reddit. *A note from your friendly neighborhood reposter: To all the people commenting about OOP being an ass for responding to body shaming with more body shaming; I ask you to consider this - She tried to do it the right way. Some assholes just won't hear you until you speak their language.*

OP Tells Her Friend She Shouldn't Be Proud of Being Overweight (AITA Sept 29, '22)

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KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yw9c1t/op_tells_her_friend_she_shouldnt_be_proud_of/

ywem06

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AITA for telling my mom she named me like a madlibs?

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outpan

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywem06/aita_for_telling_my_mom_she_named_me_like_a/

yweysq

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AITA for encouraging my son to choose with parent he wants to live with?

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yweysq/aita_for_encouraging_my_son_to_choose_with_parent/

ywhgl4

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My husband's mistress contacted me. She's pregnant.

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Nixinger2

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywhgl4/my_husbands_mistress_contacted_me_shes_pregnant/

ywildx

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AITA for telling my daughter she can cook herself now if she doesn't like my cooking?

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywildx/aita_for_telling_my_daughter_she_can_cook_herself/

ywjjz3

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(AAM) a man claiming to have an Oscar (he doesn’t) wants to give me advice on my field (that he’s not in) (Concluded)

EXTERNAL

mcgriff4hall

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywjjz3/aam_a_man_claiming_to_have_an_oscar_he_doesnt/

ywodox

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/awkward-pea4809 in r/trueoffmychest. Trigger Warning - >!domestic violence, parental alienation, attempted suicide!< #[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yj2x34/i_found_out_my_mom_what_i_though_she_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (2 Nov 22) **I found out my mom what i though she was** *(I think she means **i found out my mom isn't what i thought she was**)* When I was 13, my mom and dad had a divorce. My mom had always been dull and uninterested in me ever since I could remember, so me and her weren't that close compared to me and my dad. During the divorce, I was asked to choose where I wanted to live, and I chose my dad. My mom had me on weekends, and during those weekends I kind of ignored her or was mean to her. My dad told me she was the one that asked for a divorce, and in my mind she was ruining our perfect family. After like 2 months or a bit more of her picking me up, I told her something really on the lines of her not deserving my dad and her being a lazy, useless bitch. After that day, she did not bother picking me up. I thought she left me, and at the time, I resented her for it. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. I am now 17. My dad and aunt have a bad relationship, but me and her are good. We were talking, and I was saying some bad things about my mother, and my aunt looked at me and told me to stop there. She then proceeded to tell me that you are old enough to understand now and told me that my dad used to beat my mom. He abused her mentally and physically, and it left my mom with severe depression, which is why she slept a lot and dissociated a lot. I could not believe it. Could the man that bought me my dream car on my 16th birthday be someone that abused my mom? But then I remembered my mom frequently "injuring" herself. I used to wake up in the morning to see my mom with a broken wrist or her hand in a cast, then a month later she would have a cast on her leg. Then there were times I would get something while she was showering and see bad bruises. and she would just say that it was from hitting her stomach against the kitchen table. Then I would remember the times my dad would call my mom lazy and useless, and how my mom would just sit there silently, looking at her food. My aunt told me my mom did try to take me away from my dad, but my dad is really rich and he knew i would choose him and that my mom is the reason she is still in contact with her brother, she wanted to cut him off but my mom begged her to look out for me. Then my aunt told me that the last time she visited me, she tried to commit suicide and was admitted to a psych ward for a month [I realized that I was my fathers daughter, I said the same thing dad always said to her. And hearing that from me must have gut wrenching for her]. I feel horrible, i am horrible. I wanted to talk to my mom and apologize, but my aunt told me that I shouldn't see her because I could trigger her again and that she was happy. I searched for her on social media and found her happily married with two stepdaughters. I know this because after stalking her page, I stalked her daughter's page and found a picture of my mom and her stepdaughter with a caption talking about how blood does not make a family. I am a really bad person. I am a horribly self-centered, nasty bitch. My dad is on a business trip, and even if he comes back, I don't think I can confront him. a part of me still loves him. **Update**: thanks for all the kind words, After reading some of your comments I though that a letter expressing how I did not mean the things I said when I was younger and apologizing was a good idea. My aunt did not want to send the letter she told me that she has fault in this but I resemble my father. That she didn’t see it until she saw the way I talked about my mother, that I was reflection of him. She said my mother worked hard to get to this place and she does not want me forming a relationship that could jeopardize that right now, that she doesn’t believe I can unlearn everything I was taught within 2weeks. My dad travels a lot, I just realized me and him rarely talk so avoiding him has not been hard (he mostly just brought me stuff to make me happy). I don’t think he will even notice if I cut contact with him. **Comment** My aunt isn’t my mom sister, she was her sister inlaw. she told me that her her brother has a big victim complex. That he was nice to my mom at-first but when my mom fell out love with him and asked for a divorce he went for revenge because he thought she was a gold digger and In his mind he not the abuser he the victim. My aunt has a similar experience with my mom. He is soo messed up. I can’t even look at him or think of him without being sick to my stomach . I can’t honestly believe he was my hero for the longest time. And the worst part is that I look at myself and see him. Getting therapy won’t be an issue. I literally have unlimited amount in allowance. #[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yqcs2m/update_i_found_out_my_mom_is_not_what_i_though/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (9 Nov 22) **UPDATE: I found out my mom is not what i though she was** I gathered the confidence to chat with my mom on Facebook, and we set up a call. She actually apologized to me first; she told me she was sorry for not being the mom I needed, that she did not mean to neglect me, that she wished she was more involved in my life , that she could walk me to park and we could color together (i used to beg her to walk me to park and color with me instead of the nanny when i was much younger), and that was one of her biggest mistakes in life.(she said that she was glad i reached out that she thought i hated her). I told her it was ok, and I was sorry for the way I treated her when I was younger. I did not mean it. We talked a lot at first; it was awkward, but it got comfortable. I even talked to her stepdaughters on the phone; they were nice too. I asked her why she did not tell me, and she said that whether I chose her or not, I couldn't stay with her. She signed a prenup and was left with nothing; she did not have a job for like 14 years, and she didn't even have a residence. She did not want my home life to be difficult. We decided to visit each other when I go to her state to visit colleges. (I dont have her address so i could not send her a letter) I told my dad; I know a lot of you warned me against it, but we were eating next to each other, and after talking to my mom, I had to be sure. He had raised me my whole life, so I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt or at least see some remorse. I asked him if he used to hit Mom when she was here, and I lied and said that I remember him hitting her once. He told me that I knew how my mom was and that she needed it here and there. I did not know what to say, so I just finished up and went to my room. His admitting to it felt so much more real. He did not even look sorry; he just got back to eating and using his phone. And I have started getting therapy, hearing my mom tell me she love me and her showing me that she wants to hang out with energy in her eyes makes me really emotional & happy. and sorry about the title noticed it last minute. thanks for the advice if it was not for some of you, i would have just listened to my aunt and not bothered her at all. p.s i haven’t told my mom about my aunt, should i tell her what she said. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP finds out the truth about her mother.

ONGOING

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywodox/oop_finds_out_the_truth_about_her_mother/

ywqx5f

I am not OP. OP is u/TAcookingdaughter4. ​[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yd53e2/aita_for_telling_my_daughter_she_can_cook_herself/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) posted on Oct 25, 2022 AITA for telling my daughter she can cook herself now if she doesn't like my cooking? I (40f) have a daughter Erin (16). When Erin was 10 me and my ex husband "Mike" divorced and he moved to a different city for work. He would come and see Erin a few times a year and sometimes she would fly to see him. As I'm the only adult Erin has left I normally cook for both of us (and occasionally for my boyfriend when he is over for dinner). I am not a health freak and mostly try to make filling and nutritional meals with "cheat meals" once or twice a week. I also try to make meals from different cuisines at least once a week. A few months ago my ex husband moved back to our city alongside with his wife Kim (32). Erin was happy about it as it meant she could see her dad more often and we have agreed that she can stay over their new place over the weekend and holidays if they don't have other plans. I have met Kim a few times and she seems lovely and I trust Mike to look after her. However since staying with them Erin kept talking what a good cook Kim is and how tasty her food is. When I have asked her what she is having when she stays she mentioned a lot Asian and Asian inspired dishes which I have no issues with, since I went through a phase of eating a specific cuisine for a few years when I was younger too. So I have tried making more Asian like foods at home to keep Erin happy (ramen, pad Thai, different grilled meats, kimchi etc). However no matter what I make, new or old dishes, Erin would say she doesn't like them and they don't taste good. I have tried cooking her favourite meals and deserts from before and got the same reaction. Over last 2 weeks it got to the point where she would refuse to eat anything I cook and would either go and stay with friends or have food at Mike's place. I got tired of this and when Erin came back told her that if she doesn't like my cooking she can cook herself and do her own shopping, since she knows how to cook and we have a large supermarket 2 minutes down the road from us. Erin got upset and went to her bedroom to pick her clothes and is currently staying with Mike. Mike and my own parents called me to tell I am being unreasonable and an asshole since Erin is my daughter, so I "can't keep starving her". I don't think I am being an asshole here since my daughter refuses to eat anything I make these days, however would appreciate a second opinion. Edit:realised I have mixed the names a few times and corrected it. Edit 2: I was asked to add this to the post: The food is always available in the fridge. If it is not eaten by the time she goes to school me or my bf just eat it for lunch ourselves and make something new for dinner. Plus there's always snacks, cereals, different sides, fruites and veggies in the fridge or cupboards which she can help herself with. [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yqfw71/update_aita_for_telling_my_daughter_she_can_cook/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) posted on Nov 9, 2022 UPDATE: AITA for telling my daughter she can cook herself now if she doesn't like my cooking? I just wanted to post an update and a somewhat closure. The past few weeks have been hard and I think Erin has seen my post. So she came back home accompanied by her father and Kim. She has apologised for her actions and said there was nothing wrong with the food I made, it just she preferred Kim's cooking at the time, but after living with them for a bit she realised it was not that special. We sat down and Kim gave her perspective: as she runs a local restaurant when Erin was staying over originally Kim would make restaurant quality dishes that she would serve to the clients and a lot of times they use more and stronger spices or different more expensive ingredients depending on the dish and sometimes msg to enhance flavour of sauces. When Erin moved in with them and not just coming to see them over the weekend, Kim switched to making similar dishes but in more domestic style, so probably that's why Erin didn't like mine and "homemade" Kim's meals as they had less spices or sauces. She also explained it to Erin. Erin seemed to be very excited, so I have asked her if anything happened. She said that Kim allowed her to learn some cooking at her restaurant when it is not too busy and she asked if I'm okay with this. I was relieved and told her I would be happy for her to learn but also warned her that she might get to stressed with all those after school activities and if she wants she can drop some that she doesn't enjoy. I have also suggested her to cook for us a dish she learned (me, my bf, my ex husband, Kim and herself) maybe once a month to see how close it would be to restaurant level. We have also agreed to have some cooking days where me and Kim share and exchange our "secrets" and "techniques" when cooking and Erin is free to join in.

AITA for telling my daughter she can cook herself now if she doesn't like my cooking?

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newww_heree

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywqx5f/aita_for_telling_my_daughter_she_can_cook_herself/

ywr4cv

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OP's daughter made her cry for the first time in OP's life

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywr4cv/ops_daughter_made_her_cry_for_the_first_time_in/

ywrvhx

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/forever_torn_apart in r/trueoffmychest. Trigger Warning - >!infidelity!< [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ykby6w/i_caught_my_mom_cheating_and_shes_trying_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (3 Nov 22) **I caught my mom cheating and she’s trying to convince me my dad knows** I’m f17 and until a couple of days ago, I thought I lived in the perfect family raised by my two loving parents (early 40s). My dad is an engineer who has been traveling a lot for the past year and my mom is in healthcare taking shifts in different times of the day. My laptop broke down and I asked to use mom’s laptop to finish a school project. When I was working, I saw a couple of whatsapp web notifications pop up with sexual messages. I tried not to pay attention until I realized these were from “Pete” and not from dad. I could not believe my eyes and I felt like throwing the laptop in the trash and pretend I never saw it. After I collected my thoughts, I went back to the chat and from what I can see, they met at least 4-5 times starting just a couple of months after my dad began traveling. I took photos of the chat history and went to my room trying to process; I couldn’t even finish my homework. From the messages, they were supposed to meet tonight, and lo and behold, just half an hour before the meeting time, she passed by my room to let me know she’s going to “work”. The next day, I gathered my courage to confront her. I think she knew that I discovered her because the new chat messages have been read by me and I think I left the chat tap open before returning her laptop. I told her I knew what she was doing and that it was wrong. She sat me down and tried to calm me but I told her no way I would be calm and she said I will understand once I hear the explanation. She told me that she and dad agreed to open their marriage shortly after he began traveling. To be honest, I didn’t fully comprehend so she explained what that entailed. She told me, it was completely physical and she would never have feelings for anyone other than my dad (the messages I read support this as they were only about sex) and that they agreed to only do it if one of them is away. She closed by saying that this is adult stuff agreed between two loving adult spouses and I should stay out of it. I was dumbfounded and didn’t know how to react the whole time. I started reading online about open marriage and this is how I found this subreddit. It was consistent with what she said but it just didn’t make sense to me. I don’t believe my dad would agree to this as his views are generally more conservative. Also, when he’s away, he’s more present with us than her as he video chats with us or plays online games with my two brothers almost daily. In yesterday’s call, I asked him why he has to travel a lot and he said this is hard but it is necessary to secure college money for me and my brothers. He assured me that it will change soon. I asked him how can he bear being away from his wife for almost half of the year, he said since their relationship foundation is strong, temporary separation only causes them to miss each other more and value the limited time they have with each other. He asked me if everything is alright and I told him not to worry. I honestly don’t know if I should believe her. Should I ask her for proof for the open marriage claim? I am mortified to tell dad but is that my only option to confirm? I don’t want our perfect family to be torn apart but would it be fair to dad to keep this secret? I’ve been crying non-stop since this revelation and don’t know what to do. [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ykby6w/i_caught_my_mom_cheating_and_shes_trying_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (9 Nov 22) **Update: I caught my mom cheating and she’s trying to convince me my dad knows** I thought this would be a good time to update you about how the situation progressed but it’ll be a long post. Reading through your responses, there were a lot of people recommending to tell my dad and others to keep to myself out or talk it out with mom. It took me a lot of time to think and decide that I want to somehow bring it up with my dad but that I wanted to wait to do it in person. His next home visit was in 5 days after the original incident. While waiting for that, I was really uncomfortable with my mom and was thinking twice about any move she makes. She tried to play it cool, open conversations or suggest going out but I just tried to avoid her. Even if my dad did know, I was subconsciously treating her in a cold manner. This might have contributed to what would happen next. On the night before my father’s arrival, it seems mom broke down. She came into my room when I was about to sleep and asked if we can talk. She started to talk about generic things and how hard it was for her to be almost a single mom for the past year with two teenage boys and thanked me for helping out with that. Now I started to see her tear up while bringing up that she might not have been completely honest about the open relationship thing. Long story short, according to her, she suggested to dad a while ago to open the marriage but he didn’t give her a definite answer. Rather, that he will think about it and get back to her. She said that she asked to revisit but he keeps changing the subject. So, NO agreement from my dad, that was clearly established. Now at least I know what to expect when I approach my dad. By this time, she’s completely sobbing and trying to guilt trip me about the consequences of disclosing the whole information to him. I felt sorry for her and told her the right thing to do was to come clean with him but she said she doesn’t have the courage to do it. I said that I will do it if she doesn’t. She said she’ll think about it and we both went to bed; not that I could get any sleep that night after this. My dad arrived the next afternoon. Earlier that morning my mom sent in the family chat that she had to take an emergency shift, won’t be back until the evening, and apologized profoundly. In the private chat, I told her what the hell she’s doing and she said she’s not ready to tell him and needs more time to find the courage. I told her that I don’t think I can hold it and act normal around him so he most likely will find out from me if she doesn’t do it tonight. She sent several crying emojis then gave me the go ahead to talk to him and told me to update her if it is safe for her to come back home after I talk to dad! I don’t know what she meant, as my dad was never the violent type. Over dinner, my dad was visibly displeased as mom never take shifts during his arrival. When we were alone, after having a lot of small talks, he was telling me that one of his co-workers is getting married next week so he’ll try to stay around to attend that. I used this as transition and told him that I came across the term ‘open marriage’. I told him that after hearing and reading about it, I asked mom what she thinks of it and mom told me it would be ideal for her situation, then asked him what he thought about it. He was taken by surprise. He said he doesn’t believe in polygamy (another term I just learned) and that if a couple feel the need for it, they should address the issue that makes them feel that way and if this issue cannot be resolved then polygamy would not be the answer. I asked if mom asked him for an open marriage he said yes but that he refused on the spot. After that, he promised her that he’ll ask to take a local position (kind of a demotion for him) as he didn’t know this is how she felt especially since he didn’t take this job in the first place until she was okay with him travelling. He was actually just approved to move back to our city and will start the new job after the new year; he was planning to surprise my mom with the news. I asked him when was the first time they talked about this open marriage proposal and he assured that it was only ONE talk that happened around 5 months ago (this is definitely after the time my mom first met Pete). He started to pressure me about what’s going on but I was able to get out of the conversation as I needed some alone time to make up the two sides of the story. By looking at the messages dates, apparently my mom started seeing this guy (not sure if they had sex initially or not) then asked to open the marriage to give her legitimacy to fuck him. When my dad refused, she did it anyway. I was boiling and couldn’t think straight. I messaged her to please come home and that everything is fine, then I messaged dad screenshots of her conversation with Pete then I came here to write this update. I really don’t care about what happens next and won’t write another update. Whether they separate or not, isn’t important to me anymore as I know life won’t get back to what it was anyway. The important thing is that I made peace with me carrying this burden. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP - I caught my mom cheating and she’s trying to convince me my dad knows.

INCONCLUSIVE

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywrvhx/oop_i_caught_my_mom_cheating_and_shes_trying_to/

ywsceh

[removed]

The mystery of the soap-smelling oven

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywsceh/the_mystery_of_the_soapsmelling_oven/

ywsm37

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OOP asks if they're the AH for saying their mom named named them like madlibs, gets a wake up call

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywsm37/oop_asks_if_theyre_the_ah_for_saying_their_mom/

ywsm71

I am not the OP, that would be u/Zarek96 in r/talesfromthefrontdesk [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk/comments/wgkel6/i26f_want_to_quit_also_think_my_supervisor38m_is/) - **i(26F) want to quit, also think my supervisor(38M) is being vengeful.**, Aug 5, 2022 I've been doing my job steadily, I was happy at first. Receiving 5 stars reviews, promotions, guests being extremely happy with me every single time. I've changed of supervisors 3 times so far. The last one likes to put me to do things (work-related) that I have like a month of experience on and I've never done it unsupervised. I told him so and that I'm not comfortable with him doing that, because I'm being paid minimum wage even though I'm bilingual and I have almost a lot years of experience in my field. And the things he wants me to do can cost me really a lot money if I make a mistake. I told him no, I won't do it again and it's not on my contract. He posts the working calendar everything 15 days. He likes to do changes out of the blue now, changing my schedule and position or taking off my days off the last minute. Asking me to cover shifts like with 10 minutes notice, calling me at my home to berate me about leaving a light on, even though there's like a full staff in there still. Threatening me with meetings, he sees me using something and the next day there's a memo about it in the group. I feel hunted down and I get home, cry, sleep, work, get home, cry, sleep and repeat. I went to HH.RR. and they told me that it's normal he does this because I shouldn't make plans, I should always be available to be needed at work. -Since he's here, 4 people have resigned. -I'm writing this at 10p.m., he just changed my schedule for tomorrow via WhatsApp. -My minimum wage is $233 per month. I'm not from the U.S. -I've been dealing with this because right now I need something stable for other projects in life I'm dealing with. -I take care of my grandma, and currently I've barely seen her in the last four months and that's killing me. I'm literally thinking of throwing myself at a moving vehicle so I can finally get a day off of him. What can I do? I need some help with this. ----------------------------------------------------------------- [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk/comments/x9iwhq/update_i_quit/) - **UPDATE: I QUIT!**, Sep 9, 2022 I quit and I feel great! I just presented my resignation letter on Saturday and my old boss said I really wasn't of use to him, THEN CHANGED MY SCHEDULE ONCE AGAIN TO TAKE AWAY MY DAY OFF, so I told him: "This is my resignation letter, effective immediately." Him: but I need you tomorrow, the new girl doesn't know and she will be left alone on Sunday and you're supposed to help her. Me: this is no longer my concern, I don't work here anymore. Him: I don't accept the resignation. Me: too bad, I already sent the letter to H.R., and they accepted it. It's good you never had a use for me, because I normally did nothing around here. Him: you can't quit, we are fully booked until December and we were counting on you. Me: To be honest, I don't give a fūck. I'm tired of you and your antics, (he tried to interrupt me) I am NOT DONE TALKING, besides I've asked around and what you do to your employees is very illegal and I don't want to hear another word from you directed my way. Thank you, we're done talking. AND I LEFT AND I'M SO HAPPY!! I'VE BEEN SLEEPING THE WHOLE NIGHT!!!, no more crying, H.R. tried to change my mind but nope! I'm currently in my house, I'm late on everything, bills, rent, food, everything! But I have so much peace you guys can't even believe it! Thank you for your help and support, and the time you took to read this.

OOP wants to quit their hotel job, thinks manager is out to get them

CONCLUDED

beerbellybegone

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywsm71/oop_wants_to_quit_their_hotel_job_thinks_manager/

ywsvv3

[removed]

OOP is legally the father of a child who isn't his, and the mother just passed away.

CONCLUDED

beerbellybegone

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywsvv3/oop_is_legally_the_father_of_a_child_who_isnt_his/

ywt734

[removed]

OOP wants to know "AITA for telling my daughter she can cook herself now if she doesn't like my cooking?"

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywt734/oop_wants_to_know_aita_for_telling_my_daughter/

ywxdbm

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/reddithrowawa45 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for insisting my brother’s girlfriend proves she’s pregnant or she has to move out?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/prvv8r/aita_for_insisting_my_brothers_girlfriend_proves/) - 20 September 2021 My (f20) brother (24) has been on and off with his girlfriend (27) for a couple of years now. It’s been the same song and dance, they’re happy for a few weeks, then something small happens, they argue, it gets really nasty, and they make up and back to a loving couple. When i learned my brother got kicked out of his apartment and needed a place to stay i offered him the extra room in my apartment and my brother agreed to pay rent, help with bills, and pitch in with food. For three months now, she’s been announcing she’s pregnant. She alone will eat a snack box with 50 small bags of chips in a week. i tried to reason with her and get her to cut back (not only from overeating but she was running us low on food) but she insists she and the baby are healthy and it’s just cravings blah blah blah. Since last month, most of what my parents sends to my house (my mom is a couponer so she bulk shops and give away what she has too much of) my brother’s girlfriend is the first to get into it and a large portion of it is gone by a few days to a week. From a 24 case of monster (the energy drink if you’re not familiar) 8 will be gone in a week from just her. She eats a hell of a lot of food too, most of which no pregnant woman should be consuming so much of and yes i know all pregnancies are different but words can’t explain how much she eats in one sitting. So, today i had seen her drinking coffee and after her 2nd cup i asked her if she should be drinking so much and she said her doctor told her it was fine and she had no worries. When i suggested she take on a healthier diet for the baby she just scoffed and walked out. I went and asked my brother if he’s been to any of her doctor appointments or even seen a positive pregnancy test and he said he didn’t. I confronted her about it and she said she didn’t have to prove anything and started to get defensive. I told her she needed to show a test or some proof of going to the doctor or she needs to move out as she doesn’t help at all. My brother started defending her and changed his answer from not seeing any proof to seeing her pregnancy test. My parents got word of what i said and my mom says i was in no place to say anything and every woman’s body is different and i wouldn’t know since i’ve never been pregnant. AITA? Verdict: NTA Edit: i did talk to her a while ago about getting a job as well as helping out financially and she said she’d start and never has. Right so based on majority of the comments i overstepped yes but i’m going to go with my gut on this one and give them their 30 days notice and call it a day. I’ll for sure update you guys in a month (when they’re to be gone) and let you all (who’s interested) know what’s happened by then! I keep repeating myself let me add my brother knows everything i’ve said (the excessive caffeine, no ultrasound etc). Yes my brother still buys her tampons monthly and i know this because he goes with me when i buy mine. No i was not faking concern by the coffee comment. She drinks 2 cups of coffee a day along with a monster that’s a ton of caffeine.   [**UPDATE: AITA for insisting my brother’s girlfriend proves she’s pregnant or she has to move out?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qbxz93/update_aita_for_insisting_my_brothers_girlfriend/) - 20 October 2021 Ok so i gave my brother and his girlfriend the 30 days notice and they were to leave this Friday but as of last Friday, i have my place to myself again. Basically they fed me a bunch of lies since i gave them the 30 days notice. First, it was “she cant get an appointment or an ultrasound because of all of the covid patients”. Then, brother’s gf shows me a sonogram picture from her phone (that i later found on google images). I asked why it was on her phone she said it was emailed to her after her doctors appointment (that she couldn’t get?) Then my brother brought home baby clothes last week (to sell the lie i guess?) but they weren’t clothes for a newborn, It was a lot of 9-12mo and 2t. When i asked him why none were proper clothes for newborns he said “so he can grow into them” (was told she was pregnant with a girl) I didn’t bother to ask anymore questions because i knew it was going to be lies on top of lies. Then Friday, i got home to them arguing and at each other’s throats. Eventually i called the cops because they weren’t letting up. At this point they both had come clean with the “truth”. Brother’s “truth”: His Gf is the reason he was kicked out of his place then she needed a place to stay because her parents kicked her out so she forced him to let her stay in my house by faking being pregnant . He said after the first month he knew she wasn’t pregnant because she got her period but she forced him to keep up the lie so i’d let her stay. GF’s “truth”: Brother invited her to stay at my place and to make sure i wouldn’t say no he told her to fake a pregnancy and i’d be sympathetic (won’t go into detail but i’m 100% certain that part she said was true) and i wouldn’t question her using tampons as he’ll make up a lie for her. She said he told her to eat up all of the food because it’ll make it all seem legit. So, that’s about all, i’m still unsure who’s telling the truth but they both got all of their belongings and went their own way (i assume) so it’s not my problem anymore.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for insisting my brother’s girlfriend proves she’s pregnant or she has to move out?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywxdbm/aita_for_insisting_my_brothers_girlfriend_proves/

ywxn5l

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/Amel1a_ **in** r/offmychest   *The post is not about OOPs religious beliefs and practices, so please refrain from commenting and debating on it.*   trigger warnings: >!Compulsive disorder - TTM!<   [**After 10 years, I finally took my hijab off.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/yi3ta1/after_10_years_i_finally_took_my_hijab_off/) \- 31th October 2022 Honestly, just how the title goes, I’ve had a really hard time ever since I started to wear it, no one talked to me, people in my town, usually the people I knew from school or from other social events bullied me and called me a ‘terrorist’ which I later ignored and just kept to myself. Now that I’ve taken it off, I feel confident again, I’m not as shy as I was in the recent years and it’s just exhilarating. I feel comfortable in my body, I feel more confident and I love doing hairs styles on myself to boost more of my confidence and I love it. I don’t regret it at all, I’m becoming at peace with my body and I love the way I get admired for my hair and how healthy and grown it is and I love it so much. Anyway, I just wanted to share and thanks for reading. ☺️   [**UPDATE -** ***formatting changes done***](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/yjzvbe/after_10_years_i_finally_took_my_hijab_off_update/) \- 2nd November 2022 Okay, let me just start of by saying my post got a lot more attention then I thought and I didn’t mean it to go this far. Now, I have been getting comments on my post and some private ones and I’m thankful for the people who said nice things and were supporting, it means a lot and I love you guys for cheering me up. And as for the awards, I don’t know what any of them are because this is my first time receiving them, but I’ll look into that, and thanks, I appreciate that too. I just wanted to make an update because people are asking the same questions on my dms as other people so I just wanted to give a little more context. I’ve worn my hijab for 10 years and no it wasn’t for the right reason, I only wore it to hide my secret and shame and not let people make fun off me the way they did. This will be my first time talking about, so it’ll be hard to just come out with it. For the people who asked why I took it off in the first place, it is because I was finally feeling a whole lot better in my own body then before. My hair has grown into something I’ve learned to love and it feels so good not to hide away, constantly. As for my reasoning, I don’t want to share that side of the story, I was humiliated and felt so disgusted that it left me in pieces after and I only took my hijab off because I didn’t want to wear it anymore and was finally feeling at peace with my body. So, I have a condition called Trichotillomania, it’s basically a condition where you have the urge to rip out your own hair, for me specifically, I rip it out of my head and no, it doesn’t hurt because I was used to it. If you guys want to know more about it then by all means, research the topic, I’m not the only person who’s suffered with it. I have suffered with it for 19 years and only now got it in control. This was the time where I also took my hijab off because I was feeling more me now then I was before I could control myself. I shaved my head two years ago and let my hair grow, it was honestly the best decision in my life because now I have an amazing set of hair that goes past my shoulders. I love it, I love not missing out on hairstyles because my hair was too damaged to do one in the first place and I love that I get compliments on it too. It honestly is the best experience I’ve ever had and I love the way it’s changed me. As of wearing the hijab, I only wore it to hide my severely damaged head, I didn’t want to get bullied for this too, something this out of control and for me to acknowledge, I didn’t want to go through the hurt and that’s why I started wearing it. Anyway, that was the reason I wore it so I hope that answered your questions and for the people who were mean about this, don’t comment if you don’t know the whole story, I just didn’t want to say anything because I was ashamed and not many people are aware of the conditions which prompted me to post an updated version of an explanation, which I don’t think you guys needed but I wanted to come out of my shell and tell someone my secret because then it’ll be less lonely. And please stop fighting/arguing, it doesn’t do anyone any good and the people who only sent negativity are just trying to get a rise out of you, just leave them alone, they must be truly lonely if they have nothing better to do then to send hate comments to me and to the people who defended me. Honestly, thought the community I classed myself in had more love then that, but clearly I was wrong. Again, thank you for all the love and support and again, this is purely just to raise awareness of the issue and let the people who went through something similar, know that it’s okay and to not suffer in silence, you can do this, I believe in you. BTW, just because I took my hijab off doesn’t mean I lost my faith, I’m still connected to God just like most of you here and I’ve never, nor will I ever turn my back on my religion. This was my decision and mine alone, I don’t need people commenting hurtful things and if you do, respectfully go away, I don’t need it here or in my life. As for the auntie Karen’s, please leave me alone, I don’t need your threats nor do I need your insights, this was purely my decision and I’ve never felt more better about it. And before you start judging, know the story first and then comment, because clearly you must be a sad and lonely person to diminish me and make me feel worthless. It honestly fuc\*ed that some of you think women have no rights and should be told to act accordingly. P.s. to the person who reported me to the suicide prevention bot, thank you, don’t know why, but I’m totally fine😅😊.     **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

OOP - After 10 years, I finally took my hijab off.

CONCLUDED

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywxn5l/oop_after_10_years_i_finally_took_my_hijab_off/

ywybzh

[removed]

OP asks whether he is wrong in not giving half of his property and money to his younger brother.

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywybzh/op_asks_whether_he_is_wrong_in_not_giving_half_of/

ywzchw

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwra_gross in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**I[29f] tried to surprise my husband[28m] and all he just said “gross”**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fs938m/i29f_tried_to_surprise_my_husband28m_and_all_he/) - 31 March 2020 My husband and I have been having a bit of a dry spell over the last two weeks, which started when I wasn’t in the mood for a few days in a row and he was, and seems to have spiraled from there. Tonight since we’re stuck at home I figured I would try and surprise him when he got off work. I put on some lingerie and waited on the sofa around when he usually finishes his last conference call. I got a little over excited early and was touching myself a little bit, and he came out of his office. He looked at me, seemed disgusted and immediately goes “ugh gross, do that in the bedroom or something” and walks away. I mean I was trying to do something fun and spontaneous and he says gross? I don’t even know how to respond to that. We haven’t talked since that and I’ve just been stewing on that. I think I’ve gotten a little bit too much in my own head about this because my best plan right now seems like to electrocute him(joking for any that can’t tell). But I mean what kind of response is gross? Who says that?! I need an outside perspective. How would you respond? **Update:** well we had an apparently much needed conversation, and much of what was said was true, although he is neither gay nor cheating on me, and I have not gained weight, and nobody will be receiving any pictures of me. He said that he’s sorry for calling it gross, but he feels like he’s always the one initiating and I’m always the one saying no, and whenever I do initiate I don’t put in as much effort as him. That the fact when he just stopped trying after the first couple days I said no that it took two weeks for anything to happen only proved it to him. His first thought when he saw me was that I didn’t want to be interrupted, and his second was that after two weeks with nothing I didn’t even bother to ask or set a mood. And that’s apparently what culminated in the gross comment. So we agreed that I would try to “woo” him a bit more and make him feel more wanted, and he wouldn’t take it to heart if I happen to say no a few days in a row.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I[29f] tried to surprise my husband[28m] and all he just said “gross”

CONCLUDED

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ywzchw/i29f_tried_to_surprise_my_husband28m_and_all_he/

yx1g66

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/2t_skelliott in r/nostupidquestions** ---   [**Would it be considered rude if I, a male high schooler, bought a pair of shoes for a fellow male high schooler whose shoes are falling apart?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/dmq3rt/would_it_be_considered_rude_if_i_a_male_high/) - 25 October 2019 I got a glance of the shoe size today, he wears an 8 in mens and I mentioned the to my mom so she immediately bought a pair of the exact same shoes. **Edit:** Gosh, thank you do much for all your responses and reassurances! I'll try to respond and thank each one of you! **Update 10/29:** After rehearsal I caught him alone and asked what size shoe he was. He answered eight? after a little while and I explained that I had gotten some shoes a while back that didnt fit and was wondering if he would like them. He said he was fine and that the only reason he didnt have new ones was because he was too lazy to get them. I told him that he didnt have to take them but it would be a help since theyve been sitting in my car for "like a week". He changed his mind and took them off me, saying he'd try them on and just say he bought a new pair. Thank you all for helping me figure out what to do and sorry if its confusing or written poorly. I know a lot of you wanted an update :)   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

OOP helps a classmate out

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yx1g66/oop_helps_a_classmate_out/

yx4fq0

[removed]

My mom have been trying to get rid of my husband and acting like she's the victim.

ONGOING

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yx4fq0/my_mom_have_been_trying_to_get_rid_of_my_husband/

yx725v

[removed]

My daughter made me cry for the first time in my life.

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yx725v/my_daughter_made_me_cry_for_the_first_time_in_my/

yxargp

**I am not the OOP.** Original post by now deleted user in r/EngagementRings [Does anyone else here (besides me) feel they can't partake in the ring posting on this sub because your engagement ring isn't big, sparkly, or unique enough?](https://www.reddit.com/r/EngagementRings/comments/ynt1bo/does_anyone_else_here_besides_me_feel_they_cant/) \- November 6, 2022 trigger warning: >!abuse!< I am feeling a little down after my boyfriend's recent proposal. I said yes, but I am a bit disappointed in the ring (even though I know it sounds very materialistic to say). Even when we first started talking about marriage - been dating for 3 years - I told him that I absolutely 100% wanted to be involved in picking out or designing the engagement ring. And, since we both have good jobs, I would even put some of my own money down to get a ring I absolutely love. What I ended up receiving was a 0.20 carat round solitaire diamond. A few things I told him about the ring as well was that round diamond solitaires on a plain band weren't my idea of an engagement ring, and it feels like he went out of the way to get me everything I didn't want. I also did tell him that because I did want a bit of a bigger stone I would pay for some myself, and he really ignored that request also. I know this part sounds bad as well, but he also hyped up the proposal a lot and in the end it felt...anticlimactic? The whole year he said he was going to wait to propose around Christmas time when all the lights are up around town and everything feels magical. There is a cute little Victorian era themed town just a half hour away from where we live and that is the most special place in the world to me. This town always goes all out on Christmas for decorations and theming, it really is the most charming and magical place I ever seen, and we go for walks there all the time on weekends. Now, I feel I'll just be sad when we do go there and I feel he sort of went out of his way to ruin that for me as well... That was literally my dream engagement. He said he was going to make me feel like a princess on Christmas time (he knows how much I love the royal Christmas movies) and instead just - proposed in the bedroom before we got up for work... I know some will say that maybe he couldn't wait and that maybe nerves got to him, but he KNOWS I would have said yes anyways no matter how nervous he was. And, quite honestly, I feel the whole 'nerves' thing is a bit of an excuse. How come 'men get nervous' is always applied to them but it feels that women are never allowed to be nervous for anything ourselves? I know it sounds mean, but that really is how I feel. Why does it seem he did everything wrong on purpose even when we had open and honest conversations about my dream ring, proposal, etc. and he went out of his way to get all those things wrong? Should I be honest and give the ring back? I feel as though I spelled everything out numerous times and even though he said he'd remember to make everything special, he very well could have been too interested in what was on tv to really listen to me every single time we talked about it. TL;DR: Just upset about this whole damn thing and I don't want the resentment to build up anymore. **Notable comments from OOP:** \*\*"\*\*And that last sentence is exactly what I'm afraid of happening for the rest of my life. He was always good at being a partner in general, but everything seemed to went downhill after a major life event such as an engagement. If he really is doing this because he doesn't want to marry me (just something I've been thinking about) I really wish he'd be honest with me instead of acting like a child and getting everything wrong "on purpose". At this point, I feel I could honestly give myself a better proposal and ring if he (and other men) just flat out refuse to do it. Sorry, just a little pissed off right now." "My possibly-future-mother-in-law always sides with my boyfriend because of course he can do no wrong, and I really feel like I have to watch my tongue around her otherwise I'm the one who ends up "in trouble" at the end of the night when she goes home and I get the silent treatment. I am so glad his mother isn't afraid to side with you though and sadly, I wish that were the case for me. If I even express any dislike about the ring in her presence she'd tell my partner not to marry me right in front of me, and she has done so in the past about other issues and likes to talk about me like I'm not in the room. She'll say something like "If she's that disappointed, perhaps you should reconsider living with her and come back home with me." Now I'm just like, good. Maybe you two do deserve each other!" **Update:** [UPDATE to: Does anyone else here (besides me) feel they can't partake in the ring posting on this sub because your engagement ring isn't big, sparkly, or unique enough?](https://www.reddit.com/r/EngagementRings/comments/yqnmxm/update_to_does_anyone_else_here_besides_me_feel/) \- November 9, 2022 **TL;DR: My ex and his mother are goddamn babies and I am so fricken thankful I never married into a shit show of a family.** Hello everyone; I am so sorry I didn't realize how many people wanted an update to this situation. I have been distraught for the past few days and I just didn't have it in me to use the internet at all during this time. I am feeling 10 times better now (yes, we are going through a break up over his stubbornness regarding this whole engagement issue) and, as predicted, an entire shit show went down between his mother and I to the point where I had to call the police and beg them to take her off my property (I said she was trespassing, which was basically true). The only hard thing is we are stuck co-owning a house together and need to put it on the market and try to sell it ASAP. I am even willing to accept a low offer just to get this fucked up family out of my life for good. Thank god I only dealt with this douche for 3 years, and the next time I smell bull shit coming from any partner or potential partner I'll be sure to tell them where to go, because I cannot deal with this shit parade a second time around. And people (whether you are a woman or a man) - please remember this: when you marry someone you certainly do marry into their family, so whether you get along with them or not just remember you are marrying their son/daughter, and will therefore be your legal in-laws for however long you decide to stay married. How everything went down: When my boyfriend came home from work, I sat him down gently after we had both finished our dinner and explained to him that while I *couldn't wait* to be his wife, there were some things I would like to go over with him in regards to the ring and the proposal. He immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was a selfish gold-digger and how right his mother was about me. I know it doesn't seem very mature of me, but I pretty much laughed in his face like "Bro, you're calling me a gold-digger, meanwhile we make exactly the same amount of money AND I come from a wealthy family...so therefore I have more money than you and I ought to be calling you the gold-digger here." I tell him he's being ridiculous for not allowing me to spend *my own money* on my engagement ring and how I wouldn't feel hurt in the least if he wanted to do the same for his own, but then he starts shooting off some bull shit how women AREN'T ALLOWED to decide what their engagement ring looks like, or when and if a man decides when he wants to marry them or how he's going to propose. At this point, I am screaming because I tell him it's fucking free (I guess besides gas money, which I pretty much pay for anyway) to drive me to the town I've dreamed of getting proposed to for ages, and it's free to look at Christmas lights and go ice skating. He tells me that my "expectations are too high". I tell him to get the fuck out of my face for being that damn lazy and selfish. You know what this man-baby does next? Well, the mother needs to enter this situation somehow so he cries and calls her on his phone asking her to come pick her up. I tell him that he's more than welcome to go live with his mother until he's well into his 50's for all I care, but that beast is not stepping foot in my house. He shouts at me that this is his house too and his mother is more than welcome to help pack his stuff. I figured if this is going to be the last time I see either of them, I'm better off just staying out of the way until they're gone for good. Well, of course mommy has to barge into my grateful and tell me how ungrateful and selfish I was towards her precious boy. I warn her gently that if she comes anywhere near me I'll rip her hair out and push her down to the floor. I've never felt that angry in all my life and didn't know I had it in me to stick up for myself like that. But then she starts screaming at me that I wouldn't dare and how she'd sue me, and I told her I'd claim self-defense and tell the judge that not only was she trespassing, but willingly threatening me in my personal space and/or harassing me. She initiated the physical contact first by actually hitting my arm, and I reacted by spitting in her eye (I know how awful that sounds but at that moment when I felt my entire life was falling apart I was saying and doing all kinds of crazy stuff I didn't know I was capable of). You know how I mentioned how strong and high and mighty she likes to act in my previous posts? She literally starts to shake and starts developing these pathetic crocodile tears and screams for her son to come get her. Fucking baby acting like a tough bitch all these years resorts to that the moment someone dares to stick up for themselves in her presence. There's shouting and screaming on everyone's side and I just call the damn police. My ex immediately tells them that this is his house too, and the officer just looks at him and his mother in disbelief, shakes her head and asks "This situation is already out of hand. I am going to have to ask you and your mother to leave for at least a day or two until everyone calms down." I am so thankful she said that I burst into tears myself. She gave me some very good advice that I wouldn't have thought of in the heat of the moment and she asked me if I could have some kind of family member stay with me for the next couple days because she was concerned they would come back and threaten me again. Even better, I went to my own parents house and our house is empty right now as far as I know, but it is getting put on the marker asap. Oh yeah, and for those of you wondering I gave myself a "Take this piece of shit ring with you" moment before my ex and his mother left for good and I threw the ring past both of their heads when they were heading to their car. The last thing I hear my ex screaming is "FUUUUCK NOOOO!" because god forbid he loses his fucking $700 piece of garbage diamond ring that immediately depreciates to $200 the moment it slipped on my finger. He actually thought he could get all his money back for that thing. \*\*I am so sorry if this entire post sounded incredibly immature, but that's pretty much all I can give you guys when it comes to my douche of an ex and his mother. Please note that I have absolutely no more negative or positive emotions in regards to this situation and I am no longer thinking irrationally or planning on doing something irrational to myself or others (I don't give a fuck what my ex does, as long as he doesn't come anywhere near myself or my family). Everything and everyone is perfectly safe and fine, and I really do feel 20 times lighter and happier than I did 2-3 days ago. **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

OOP's fiancé gives her a lackluster ring and proposal and it takes a turn for the worst very quickly

CONCLUDED

shmemcat

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxargp/oops_fiancé_gives_her_a_lackluster_ring_and/

yxbjn1

**Reminder: I am not the OP. Original Post by** [**u/medthrowaway87ei**](https://www.reddit.com/user/medthrowaway87ei/) **in** r/AskDocs ***Note:*** *This was posted here* [*2 years ago*](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/mqm76n/long_robert_is_a_cancer_patient_with_an_history/)*, but I came across it recently and was touched.* trigger warnings: >!Cancer, Drug Addiction, Death!< mood spoilers: >!Sad/Emotional!< [Original Post - "Suboxone patient dying of cancer. Concerned about palliation." - Posted 2 Years Ago (11/14/2020)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/jr98zs/suboxone_patient_dying_of_cancer_concerned_about/) 41 yo white male, history of opioid abuse disorder, no major surgeries recently. 12mg bupenorphine/3mg naloxone 1x daily. I'll spare you the gory details. Small cell lung cancer, inoperable, 4 months to live. I've been referred to palliation. I'm a grumpy bastard and my life has been pretty unpleasant in many regards so I'm actually not that worried about dying. Had to check out sometime, yeah? What I AM worried about is pain relief as a long-term bupenorphine patient. Even if I went cold turkey today, which my prescribing physician recommends against, I'd still have somewhat of an opioid tolerance, no? I don't meet with hospice till Friday, so I have some questions. Will hospice be able to meet my needs even though I have a tolerance? I don't want to die in pain and I'm really not in a position to book a euthanasia appointment on the other side of the country. Thank you for your help. [Update 1 - "41yo male dying of lung cancer, meeting with palliative physician today. What kinds of questions should I ask him?" - Posted 2 Years Ago (11/13/2020)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/jtiv4z/41yo_male_dying_of_lung_cancer_meeting_with/) Hi everyone. Lung cancer guy again. Bad things are happening. Just got home from the hospital and barely avoided being admitted thanks to a palliative NP rushing over in the middle of the night to admit me into the home hospice program. I am forever grateful to her. I'm meeting the physician today. What kinds of questions should I ask? My current list of questions is: * Can you manage my pain after years of bupenorphine maintenance? * Will someone be available to help me write letters? I'm cut off from my family but want to make amends. * Will someone be with me all the time? I don't want to die alone and don't have anyone to call. * Will I avoid terminal Restlessness and delirium? That is my only fear right now. I don't think I have many more questions. Probably can't respond to many comments and PMs like I did last time. I'll try to post an update before I die. Thank you for your help. Edit: would also be nice to hear from others who have hospice experience. Edit: thank you for your kind offers of helping me transcribe letters. I am not feeling strong enough tonight but perhaps tomorrow. Though, if things keep up at the same pace, tomorrow won't be looking too good. I will try to reach out if I can. *Notable Comment:* u/Fruna13 **(**[link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/jtiv4z/comment/gc72qco/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)**):** This process is always uniquely difficult for everyone, and while we all will go through it at some point, I am sorry that this is where you're at right now. I worked in home hospice for a while. The discussion with your care team should involve your pain levels and management, as well as managing any other uncomfortable symptoms such as shortness of breath or nausea. You should also probably have a chat about your diet needs, especially wether or not you would like a feeding tube if at any point it becomes unsafe for you to eat normally, or if you become uninterested in food. Getting it or not getting it are fine, and the decision is yours to make, but it's best if it's an active decision ahead of time instead of trying to figure it out once it's already a problem. Activity levels should also be talked about, especially in terms of preventing bed sores and excessive atrophy. Depending on your oxygen needs, this may vary a lot. This discussion would probably be were you'd bring up getting some help writing those letters, which may come in the form of a nursing aide, a social worker, a counselor, or even a volunteer. In terms of not being alone, you may want to bring up either a patient sitter (they are a thing, mostly for people who need some help with activities of daily living instead of a nurse to do wound care and medication management), a carer, or a death doula (which is there to help you communicate with your team, make your death what you want it to be, and advocate for your previously made decisions). Most of these people you would have to hire yourself, though some programmes do have them included. Another bit that you may want to discuss is end of life planning and estate planning. Besides the legal considerations, there may come a point where you're unable to express your wishes or make decisions, and it's always best to have a written document, signed, that can guide your care at that point in time. Your team are probably experts in these matters. This usually includes talking about fluid management, anything you'd like to avoid once you lose consciousness, and any personal requests. It also includes talking about what happens with your body, as well as with your belongings, but that side of things is usually handled by either specialised social work or a lawyer. Keeping a record of your questions to ask your team as they come up is a good idea. A voice recorder, the voice to text function on your phone or a notebook if you can still write on your own are all good ways of remembering those things for when you have the chance to ask. [Update 2 - 41yo suboxone patient with lung cancer. I don't mean to keep pestering this sub, but I thought I'd drop in to say good-bye. The cancer is in my heart and central cardiovascular area. It's over. (11/14/2020)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/ju4mua/41yo_suboxone_patient_with_lung_cancer_i_dont/) Hello all. I hope this update doesn't break any rules, as I suppose I do not have any questions. Mods, let me know. I did not want to just disappear from reddit. I know a number of you have been thinking about me. I said I would post an update before I passed away and, well, here I am. I know it is fast. But things have been happening fast. I don't mean to flood this sub with my misery. I'm on some heavy duty medications. I hope this doesn't come off as rambling. This will be my final post. The Cancer is all through both sides of my chest and above my collarbone. It's over. I was diagnosed with Extensive Stage small cell lung cancer and given four months to live on the 6th. Well, it seems "two weeks" was a more accurate approximation of my time. I am not long for this world. As for what happened-- I wasn't slated to meet my hospice team till yesterday, Friday. I went to the ER on Thursday with chest pain. They took a lot of fluid out of my chest. The ER physician described my imaging as "grotesque" and immediately asked if I had considered palliation. I said I didn't see hospice till tomorrow. He said if I wanted any chance of dying at home, I needed to see them NOW, otherwise he'd have to admit me. He won't be getting any awards for bedside manner any time soon, but I greatly appreciated his candor. Several urgent phone calls later I had a palliative Nurse Practitioner in my room who went through the screening process and admitted me to their home hospice program. I went home Friday morning with a hospice kit. Met the palliative physician that evening, shortly after I posted my list of questions here. I will not see Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or even next weekend. Every breath is work. Each one more work than the last. My team estimates that, at this rate, I will die Tuesday at the absolute latest. Probably sooner. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tonight. My oncologist called to personally apologize for misjudging my remaining time, but I hold him no ill will. Determining the time of death is not an exact science. I know that. I'm arranging to donate my body to science. I want them to do an autopsy and see how it got me so quickly, to help other cancer patients. The oncologist thinks the cancer may have gotten to my heart or the major central blood vessels. I didn't think small cell could move THIS fast but my oncologist says we caught it late. My hospice team has been wonderful. I have crossed tapered from bupenorphine-- which I discontinued Wednesday-- to methadone, with little difficulty. I have a lot of morphine and the option of hydromorphone is on the table as well if needed. I am comfortable and resting at home. The next stop on the train is continuous sedation, and I am very tired, so I probably will not be able to respond to anyone like I did last time. My physician says we can start a midazolam drip as soon as tonight. I will probably take him up on the offer tomorrow, if I'm still alive. I suppose this is a good place to share where my fears around palliation come from. I used to be an aid in a nursing home, many years ago. I saw a number of unpleasant deaths due to insufficient palliation. We had a wonderful man who was prescribed a self administration pump for morphine. Problem was, he was too sick to press it, and his physician did not seem to grasp the severity of his condition. Every half hour, one of us would sneak in and press the button on his pump, which, in hindsight, was probably illegal, but what else could we do? He was very uncomfortable at the end. I tried to do basic mouth care just before he passed and he recoiled in pain. "Have a heart", he whispered. It broke my heart to hear this admonition from such a wonderful man. My greatest fear was Terminal Restlessness. I saw a few patients scratch their faces and tear their fingernails out as they died, even on high doses of opioids and benzodiazepines. My palliative physician has assured me that he won't let that happen and that there is no limit to what they can give me. I feel much reassured. I have tried to write letters to the people I've wronged. I suddenly find that I want to make amends. So many letters. I was a functioning addict for a long time. My family cut me off, rightfully so. So I have been writing a lot of letters. But I am losing strength. I will not be able to write many more letters. My CNA has transcribed one letter template for everyone. I hope it is enough. I also had many kind offers to transcribe letters from Redditors here on the sub. What love that you would do that for a stranger. If I was strong enough to talk on the phone, I would have taken you all up on it, but I can barely talk. Perhaps, had I not been so stunned by my diagnosis, I could have arranged this sooner. But that is in the past now. Dad, if you somehow see this post, I know how much I hurt you and and I am sorry. I wish I could call you. I do not even know where you live and I'm not strong enough to find you. I do not ask for your love, for that is beyond my power to ask. Just your forgiveness is enough. Please Dad, forgive me. I do not want die without your forgiveness. But I will, won't I? I beseech you all to make amends with those you begrudge. Do not go to bed angry or hold hate in your heart. You will be glad that you forgave. I wish I had done so sooner, before I ran out of time. You will run out of time, too, some day in the future. Don't leave any business unfinished, any grudge unmended. There a nicotine patch on my arm. A reminder of one of the several self destructive habits that brought me here. My smoking habit was not had enough to set things off this quickly, but it clearly did not help. For those of you who smoke, I have but one message: stop it. Please. You think you will wait till you are ready. You will never be ready. You say you will quit tomorrow, but then tomorrow becomes today, and you are never ready today, only tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. Today is the only day in which the decision can be made. You can only quit TODAY. Do so now. Throw your cigarettes in the trash. Do it for me. What a gift it would be that my post would free you of tobacco's golden chains. As difficult and shocking as these last few weeks have been, I regard them as positive. Only four weeks ago, I thought that the universe was a cold and cruel place. I experienced physical and mental abuse, chronic pain, and addiction. But my situation has forced a change of perspective. I see now that all our experiences, no matter how horrid, are temporary, and that we will all find the same rest and peace in the end. I do not mean to give the wrong impression to those struggling with depression. I have tried to kill myself before. The difference between then and now is vast. Death is an old friend waiting to greet you at the end of a long and well lived life. It can not be appreciated properly when sought in darkness. I know there is no magic fix for depression, but I urge you to get up, go out, and live the crazy, wonderful, irrational, beautiful life you want. If only I had done the same. What a gift is life! Thank you all for your love, empathy, and reassurance. For all the people who PMed me offering to help with transcribing letters, for all the kind messages and comments. You are all beautiful people. I hope you remember that. No matter what anyone else says or thinks, or even what you yourself think, you are beautiful and can only be so, because you reached out to a stranger in his moment of pain. Your hearts will always carry that little light of goodness no matter how dark your days. Carry that little light with you and forget it not. It can brighten a stranger's day. It can even save the world. A few PMed me asking to look into their religion. In the past I would have been irritated. Now I recognize that you were concerned for my souls well being. Thank you for your compassion. I am not well versed on religion, but I have prayed, and I trust that whatever higher power may dwell above the stars will look upon my situation with infinite love and compassion. This in my heart I know. [/u/hugegrape](https://www.reddit.com/u/hugegrape/), you wanted to make me a plushie free of charge. Your care and empathy have touched my heart. I'm sorry to say that I will not be in a position to receive it. I did not expect to go this fast. I want you to make it anyway. I want you to keep it with you and know that you will always have a part of me. I hope this brings you some comfort. You have my everlasting love and gratitude. Wishes are usually reserved for the future. I have no future. But I find myself still wishing. I wish I had not worried so much about the little things. I wish I had not worried so much about the numbers in my bank account or the punch of the time clock. All that time working. I had enough money to keep a roof over my head and to invest in what few hobbies I had, yet I still kept racking up overtime. And for what? Only to find myself here. It all came to nothing in the end. I robbed myself of the most precious commodity I had, time, in exchange for green pieces of paper and little metal discs. A perverse and twisted trade. Only now do I see the truth. I wish I had had the courage to live my life the way I wanted to. I wish I had traveled the world, fallen in love, written a novel. I wish I had had children. I have no one to whom I can pass my life lessons. No one to sit by my side, here at the end of my world. It is too late for me. But it is not too late for you. Live the life YOU want, no matter how strange it may seem to others or to society. It is your life and yours alone. Live it well. I'm not sure where I go from here. I have been reading accounts of the afterlife from various cultures. Summerland, Elysium, Tir Na Nog. I've also taken to reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, though it seems I will run out of time before I can finish. What a strange feeling. I personally do not believe consciousness survives death, but I'm open to being pleasantly surprised. And if not, well, who can complain about a siesta that can't be interrupted? Regardless of what awaits me, it is nice to dream. And that is what I will do now. I will dream. I will rest and dream of the peace to come till I dream no more. May you all one day face death with this same wonderful dream. I do not have any friends or family to sit here with me, so I am leaving this tab open. I will read your comments and savor your reassurances, even if I do not reply. I will keep you all here with me. I feel less alone this way. I will keep you all with me as I die. You people are all I have now. I am strong but I am scared. Stay with me till I'm gone. I do not want to be alone. Till we meet again, my beautiful friends. Robert S Edit: just woke up from my nap and I'm overwhelmed by the outpouring of love. I'm touched by the people throwing away their cigarettes and finding the courage to pursue the life they want. What a blessing you all are. I am reading every message I can even if I don't respond. Tears streaming down my face. Now I know I will not die alone. What a gift this sub has given me. Edit 2: Sunday at 2:30 pm. Haven been awake much but I've read as much as I can. How I cherish your love and kindness. You helped a grumpy drug addict die with love in his heart and a smile on his face. the doc will be here at 3 to give versed. I'm tired of trying to breath. chaplain has given me last rites. Its over now my friends. I love you. Good bye *Notable Comments:* u/theothernguyen **(**[link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/ju4mua/comment/gc9rxf7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)**):** as a doctor who often treats patients such as yourself, thank you for sharing and allowing me to further understand and hear from a side I don't often have a glimpse into. you will live on forever in how I care for patients in the future. I am forever in your debt. thank you and God bless. EDIT: thank you stranger for the gold, but in lieu of any awards that would just go to reddit, please consider donating instead and leave a message for Robert [https://drugfree.org/donate](https://drugfree.org/donate) u/keyst ([link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/ju4mua/comment/gc9lplv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)): You aren’t alone - all of us are with you right now. [Final Update - Update on Robbie from Cherri (11/16/2020)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/jv773f/update_on_robbie_from_cherri/) Good morning. My name is Cherri. I was Robbie's volunteer doula with the hospice program. I am posting here to honor his wishes in providing this message board with an update after his passing. I am not familiar with this app, but Robbie gave me a little tutorial. Please forgive any mistakes :) Robbie had initially wanted to pass while conscious, however, he was having increased difficulty breathing Sunday morning. He received last rites from our chaplain and was sedated with midazolam, at his request, at 3:05 pm. He remained asleep and appeared comfortable. Agonal respirations were noted by the nurse at 6:14 pm and suppressed with morphine. The physician called time of death at 6:27 pm, Sunday, November 15, 2020. Robbie's passing was peaceful and without pain. Robbie spoke often of the kind messages he received on this board. I know they brought him comfort. His final posting was incredibly poignant and moved even our most seasoned staff to tears. He was a quiet man. I think his voice was his words. It was honor to attend to him in his passing. I was attracted to hospice because not everybody breaks a bone, not everybody has heart disease, but everybody dies. It is an honor to be with others as the undergo this universal journey, and it was a particular honor to attend to Robbie, who had no family or friends by his side. I am providing some images on imager that Robbie wanted shared with this board, one of him young and healthy, the other a final handwritten note. Please let me know if the link works: [http://imgur.com/a/OLbDMdx](http://imgur.com/a/OLbDMdx) I obviously cannot hold onto his phone :) it will be shut off and filed away with his estate, which is being handled by his family, who our social workers were able to locate Sunday evening. They expressed regret at the news of his illness and passing. We are sharing his final posting with them as well. One last thing before I go. First, Robby expressed many concerns about his suboxone. As the opiate epidemic continues to ravage our communities, we see more and more patients entering hospice on suboxone and methadone. I want those of you with opioid maintenance to know that you will never be judged by our staff, and your medications are not a barrier for care. Our organization consults with a pain specialist physician specifically for these cases. We will never let you die in pain. Never! I hope this posting provides some closure for those of you who have been following Robbie's case. These fast cancers are always sad, but Robbie faced his passing with dignity and grace. He was truly a wonderful man, and he lives on in our memories. With regards, Cherri N  [Bonus - Blue Whale plushie update. RIP Robert. ❤️ (12/06/2020) by](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/k84ryu/blue_whale_plushie_update_rip_robert/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) u/hugegrape [Link to the plushie I made for Robert!](https://imgur.com/gallery/d8wZyyj) [Robert’s original post on r/AskDocs.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/ju4mua/41yo_suboxone_patient_with_lung_cancer_i_dont/) Hi everyone! A few weeks ago, Robert made a post on [r/AskDocs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/) looking for answers about palliative care in a hospice setting. I was moved by his resignation, the hopelessness of the situation, and the fact that he was going to die alone. I felt, and still feel, like nobody should have to depart this world feeling so alone and unloved. I’m sure many of you were touched similarly by his posts. I had started sewing plushies to keep my hands and mind busy whilst recovering from a mental health relapse. I offered to make Robert a plushie to remind him that he is loved, and also to give him a little comfort as he passed. Unfortunately, Robert’s condition took a turn for the worse, and he was unable to accept my plushie. He told me his favorite animal, and instructed me to make it anyway and treasure it. So, here it is, Robert’s blue whale. His legacy will live on at least in this plushie. ❤️ Sorry if this post breaks the rules. So many of you wanted to see the plushie when it was finished and I didn’t know another way to reach out to all of you. RIP. **Reminder: I am not the OP. Original Post by** [**u/medthrowaway87ei**](https://www.reddit.com/user/medthrowaway87ei/) **in** r/AskDocs

The Story of Robert, A Suboxone Patient Dying of Cancer

REPOST

bluebear185493

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxbjn1/the_story_of_robert_a_suboxone_patient_dying_of/

yxcpr8

[removed]

NZ Police Harass OOP and Refuse to Give Real Apology despite Video Evidence

INCONCLUSIVE

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxcpr8/nz_police_harass_oop_and_refuse_to_give_real/

yxcx1f

[removed]

Squirrel is now desperately trapped in our ceiling...the shocking conclusion

CONCLUDED

lesstravelledroad

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxcx1f/squirrel_is_now_desperately_trapped_in_our/

yxea5q

[removed]

OOP - AITA for not changing my tattoo based on my child's pronouns?

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxea5q/oop_aita_for_not_changing_my_tattoo_based_on_my/

yxeqth

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/khajiitthrowaway **in** r/AmItheAsshole   trigger warnings: NONE   [**AITA for proposing to my girlfriend with a video game relic instead of a ring and refusing to buy a ring after**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6vh3c/aita_for_proposing_to_my_girlfriend_with_a_video/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) \- 7th October 2020 My girlfriend and I met in a Skyrim meme page in 2014 and have been together for 6 years. Last week was our anniversary and I decided I wanted to propose. Since we met via Skyrim, I thought I would promise with the amulet of Mara, which is the symbol that someone is ready for marriage. She doesn’t really wear jewelry or anything and has never shown me a ring she likes when we’ve talked about marriage so I thought it’d be sweet to have something that brought us together. I set up this whole picnic with our favorite things and when I proposed, she looked sad and asked about a ring. I told her I thought the amulet of Mara was sweet because we met via Skyrim. The other day she sat me down and said she thought the amulet was very sweet and she liked it, but she wanted to go ring shopping. I told her I had already bought the necklace and I didn’t see any reason for a ring since I didn’t propose with one. She said she appreciated the sweet gesture but she really wanted a traditional ring. We got in an argument and it’s been tense the last few days. AITA? ​ **Verdict - A-hole (YTA)** ​ Update: we talked. I bought her a ring. Thank you for the messages and judgment.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jt4qzb/update_aita_for_proposing_to_my_girlfriend_with_a/) \- 13th November 2020 Well, here’s an update for you. We got married! I realized pretty quickly after posting my original post that I was the asshole and my feelings were hurt because I’m an idiot. So we picked out a ring together, and in that we decided, hey, let’s just elope! So we both picked out a ring, and now we’re married. Thank you for everyone who tried to knock some sense into me. I am very happy with my wife, and I’m glad we both got what we wanted. She also wore the amulet as we got married, but she didn’t want me to post any of our actual wedding photos on the internet so I’m just posting the rings. That’s it, we’re happy, a ring was bought and now we’re just enjoying nerdy married life. Edit: I removed the photo of our rings. I will not have people insult my wife. She is a ridiculously beautiful woman, but that isn’t the most important thing. She is compassionate and smart as hell. She’s the funniest person I know, and has such quick wit she’ll put you on your ass laughing. But you people can’t get passed her (I think adorable) hands, so no more photos. Sorry. Final edit: I’m not sure if this is allowed, and if not I’m very sorry but my wife created a discord server for people who genuinely just want to see the rings, so message me if interested I suppose.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

OOP proposes to GF with a video game relic instead of a ring and refuses to buy a ring .

CONCLUDED

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxeqth/oop_proposes_to_gf_with_a_video_game_relic/

yxifqx

I am not the OOP - this is a repost sub. Beware - there aren't any high stakes, life-changing impacts happening here - so don't get your hopes up here. If that's what you're looking for, look for some relationship advice posts. Trigger warning: >!quack.!< >!Ben Wyatt.!< [First post (1/11/2019):](https://www.askamanager.org/2019/01/coworkers-only-ask-me-about-ducks-adult-facts-in-a-work-presentation-and-more.html) I’m in the lower-middle level of food service establishment with a couple hundred employees. Last year, I started a side project where I got us a small flock of ducks for fresh eggs and general merriment. Ever since, folks only ask me about the ducks. I have brief interactions with at least a dozen people a day and 90% of the conversations start with, or completely consist of, “how are the ducks?” The ducks are darling and entertaining and I love working with them, but they are a small part of my job and not the only interesting thing about my role or personality. I’m getting increasingly cranky and desperate for more diverse conversations. The ducks are always fine. If anything big happened with them, I’d let folks know. They are literally out the back door and anybody could go look at them if they wanted. Is there any way I can get out of having this same insubstantial conversation 10 times a day for the foreseeable future? Especially since any one person probably won’t ask me about them more than twice a week, so it seems unreasonable to ask an individual to stop? I want to be friendly and gracious but seriously enough with the ducks for one second. \*Alisons advice is at the same link\* [Second post (12/31/2019):](https://www.askamanager.org/2019/12/update-coworkers-only-ask-me-about-ducks.html) It’s been almost a year since I wrote in and the ducks remain a big deal. They’ve been on the local news twice and in the newspaper! They are very cute and nice but the scale of interest is inexplicable to me. If anybody watched Parks and Rec, they are our Lil’ Sebastian. What’s been most helpful, as you and the readers suggested, was adjusting my own attitude and going with it. I get stopped every day and asked how the ducks are and I say they’re great. Sometimes folks stop me just to tell me they saw them (they are immediately outside the back door) and I just say yep! Super! With all that’s challenging in the world, I’m going to lean into the mysterious joy these charismatic waterfowl bring. Please enjoy these videos of them playing in the pool and discovering a mirror! \*Seriously - everyone visit the link and view the videos of the super cute duckies\* \*also seriously - the OOP shows that sometimes you have to realize that things that don't matter to you matter so much to other people - and it's OK if you don't get it - but you don't need to bring other people down by putting down their interests\*

(AAM) coworkers only ask me about ducks (Concluded)

EXTERNAL

mcgriff4hall

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxifqx/aam_coworkers_only_ask_me_about_ducks_concluded/

yxmids

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My friends mom pushed me into a table saw (Final Update)

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxmids/my_friends_mom_pushed_me_into_a_table_saw_final/

yxms57

**I am NOT OP.** [**My husband cannot accept I don’t like mustard. Things came to a head yesterday.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/yju3vf/my_husband_cannot_accept_i_dont_like_mustard/) in r/relationship_advice submitted on 02 Nov 2022 by u/throwrapickyeater trigger warnings: >!emotional, physical and sexual abuse!< We’ve been married two years, dating five. We are both 34- I’m a woman, he’s a man, if it matters. I’m not a picky eater. In fact I’m quite adventurous and every time I’ve traveled I’ve always made it a point to try dishes with unusual/uncommon ingredients to say I’ve tried them. There are very few foods I won’t eat. One of them is mustard (the condiment). I don’t like it. I just don’t. The taste is very strong and overpowering and it’s an unpleasant taste. I’ve tried yellow, stone ground, honey, artisan, brown, spicy, you name it. I have tried them all. And I just don’t like them. My husband for some reason never understood this. He loves mustard, especially honey mustard. He puts it on all his sandwiches, dips his fries in it. And everytime he tries to force me to try it. He’ll insist I’ll like it this time. I’m a grown ass woman. I know what I don’t like! And I don’t like mustard. So I’ll say no and it’ll devolve into a mini-argument where he’ll call me picky. Well, last night we were on the road home from a weekend trip we took together and he stopped at a gas station to get us a quick bite. He got a hot dog slathered in mustard. I got one but decided to keep it plain. I don’t really love hot dogs to begin with but I will eat them. While we waited in line he asked what I got on mine. I told him nothing. He actually got furious and grabbed it from me. He marched over to the condiment station and began putting mustard on my hot dog, telling me to grow up and stop being picky. I just walked out and sat in the car. I didn’t even want the damn hot dog anymore. My appetite was gone. He came back and began screaming at me for embarrassing him even further. The word divorce was said for the first time ever. I secretly recorded his screaming because I was genuinely afraid I would die. He was driving erratically, swerving and speeding. I’m in a hotel tonight. He ignored me all day at work and then the calls started around when he realized I wasn’t coming home. Nonstop voicemails and texts. He sent me a screenshot of a Google search for local divorce lawyers. I haven’t eaten all day and I’ve been sobbing in this damn hotel room. I don’t want to get divorced and I wish I had just ate the fucking mustard. Someone, anyone, please give me an explanation. Am I in danger? Why would he react this way to a preference of mine? I’m completely broken right now. **xxxx** [**Update #1: I can’t respond since my post got deleted sorry**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwrapickyeater/comments/yk8rx6/i_cant_respond_since_my_post_got_deleted_sorry/) submitted on 02 Nov 2022 by u/throwrapickyeater Some answers I guess to questions I saw: Regarding when I said no to sex. He respected if I said no to having sex but he would ask for blowjobs over and over. I used to give in at first until I started dreading doing it. He tried buying all this stuff to make me like it, to make it easier or whatever. I used to like blowjobs. I don’t like giving them to him. But he’ll still ask over and over. I started responding with, “I said no. Are you going to force me to do it?” And he’d get squeamish and offended that I’d implied he would rape or assault me. If I have a support system: no. I’ve always been a very small circle kind of person and I lost touch with casual college friends. My friends are his. It makes me feel like a loser but I don’t really have friends of my own. My parents are dead; my dad died when I was a teen and my mom passed recently of heart failure. I have no siblings. I’m financially capable of living on my own and I could pay for a divorce. I just… really didn’t want things to be this way. The mustard thing was always just an annoyance to me. I didn’t consider it a deal-breaker, but obviously it is for him. We have no kids and no equity. Our finances are separate save for one joint account we equally contribute to for bills. We were looking at buying a house. I’m safe. I’m at work and I’m staying in the hotel until further notice. He has continued to text. One message said that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, but I’ve forced his hand by refusing to communicate or come home. I haven’t answered. I don’t know what to say. I forced myself to eat my favorite takeout late last night but it tasted like cardboard. I stayed up late compiling a list of every time he has shown worrying behavior. I guess the mustard is the tip of the iceberg. **xxxx** [**Update #2: Thank you all for being so kind… a quick ramble before bed.**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwrapickyeater/comments/ykkkta/thank_you_all_for_being_so_kind_a_quick_ramble/) submitted on 02 Nov 2022 by u/throwrapickyeater Sincerely, thank you all for your kind words as well as sending me links to resources. He has reverted back and has told me that he never wants to see me again, so I suppose that gives me time to read that book that someone on RA suggested to me (I forget the name). I will admit while I was at work and thinking of the lonely room waiting me after five, I considered just going home. But I knew what awaited me. I’m too drained to muster up the kind of apology he would be expecting in order for things to go back to normal. I honestly fear that our “normal” is detrimental to me. I also don’t want to apologize. I don’t think I did anything wrong, and you all helped validate that. I always felt like I was the one disturbing the peace. He’d get so upset over things that were little to no effort for me to just do or go along with because I loved him. And somewhere along the way I think I lost myself. I never liked mustard. I never liked golf, or camping, or red wine. But he loves all of these and wanted me to love them too. He said he was introducing me to his hobbies so we would have shared interests as a couple. But I have realized that out of all the things I used to like, he has either refused to try or ignored my interest. Our shared interests are just his. God, how do I feel like my own person again? My world broke not two days ago and now I’m drunk at a hotel bar switching between Reddit and researching divorce lawyers. I still don’t want to divorce. It’s so permanent. I never pictured myself a divorcée. I used to think that every choice I made, I made deliberately. It used to be a point of pride for me. But he’s making this choice for me. And it hurts. **xxxx** [**Final Update: I’m leaving him.**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwrapickyeater/comments/yospyh/im_leaving_him/) submitted on 07 Nov 2022 by u/throwrapickyeater First of all: I took this week off at the encouragement of my employer. I plan to spend it finding a therapist that specializes in domestic abuse and sexual assault, which I’ve come to realize I am a victim of. I feel completely numb. I’m also looking into a divorce lawyer. Secondly: he found the hotel where I was staying. I guess he followed me from work. He was waiting in the lobby. God, my heart skipped a beat and I realized that I did NOT miss him at all. I was afraid of making a scene (I need to unlearn that), so I sat with him in the lounge area and talked. I’ll summarize it. I pointed out the security camera and said if he tried to hurt me, there’d be footage and I would press charges without a second thought. He was completely shocked and said he’d never hurt me. I reminded him how I feared for my life in the car. He ignored me. He asked why I wasn’t coming home. I was completely blank faced when I told him, “Because you’re divorcing me.” He said he didn’t mean it and was just upset. I said, “when normal people are upset, they express it in a healthy way. You threatened the end of our marriage. I’m taking you seriously.” He got pissed and asked if I was saying he wasn’t normal. Honestly, I just wanted the conversation to be done, so I told him if that’s really all he heard then there was no point in talking anymore. I told him I was looking for a lawyer and he should probably do the same if he hasn’t found one. He lashed out and said, “All this over one mistake?” And I just stared at him. As I made to stand up, he grabbed my wrist hard and I pointed at the camera again. This just made him angrier. He never could handle slights to his ego. One mistake. It wasn’t one mistake. It was a pattern of abuse over years. It was threatening me, intimidating me. I told him if he tried to contact me again beyond sending me his lawyer’s details I’d be calling the police. He let me go. I want to say I was badass and celebrated in my room. I collapsed onto my bed and began sobbing. I was just so sick and angry and sad. He truly doesn’t care about me. I’ve been crying on and off while calling local therapists. God, why is it so hard to find one? The amount of therapists that advertise but turn out to not be accepting new patients is unacceptable. I’ve looked into victims of DV/DA support groups as well. In the span of less than a month my life is completely changed. And he isn’t remorseful at all. He just thinks it’s all my fault. >**OP's last comment**: I will probably move. I saw my RA post get reposted on Twitter. I’m terrified he’ll see it and come for me. A lot of people commenting on it were saying he would try to kill me and I believe them. **Reminder: I am not the original poster.**

My husband cannot accept I don’t like mustard. Things came to a head yesterday.

CONCLUDED

maedocc

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxms57/my_husband_cannot_accept_i_dont_like_mustard/

yxmuyq

#AP - Affair Partner I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/stepmomanddad in r/trueoffmychest. [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/yl999w/my_stepmom_was_my_dads_ap/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (3 Nov 22) **My stepmom was my dad's AP** My stepmom was my Dad´s AP This is my first time using reddit and english is not my first language When i (22M) was 4 my Dad(42M) divorced my mom. About a year later he introduced me to my stepmom (42F). She had two twin girls( N and D 22F). They married only a few months and went on to have three more kids, G( 16M) L(10M) and S(4F). My father adopted N and D because their bio father was not involved. I´ve always considered all 5 of them ( N,D,G,L and S) my siblings and we´ve never used step or half to refer to eachother. When i was 6, shortly after G´s birth, my mom passed away in a car accident and because of it i started to live with my dad full time. My relationship with my stepmom improved from there. She never adopted me however she, along with my dad, keept my mom´s memory alive by keeping in touch with my maternal grandparents and other relatives and visiting her grave with me on special days. I started calling her mom when i was around 7 or 8 and she refers to me as her eldest child ( me and the twins are the same age but i was born first) After i turned 18 i started to work but i continued to live with my parents. Last week i was in the attic when i found a photo album that i have never seen before. I opened it and i saw several pictures of my dad, my stepmom and the twins when they were babies, which made no sense to me because, like i said we were todlers when our parents met. I decided to confront my parents about it. They were sit alone in the kitchen and asked them how they met, they told the same story, that soon after my dad´s divorce he met my stepmom though a mutual friend. when they were done i place one of the pictures on the table and told them that i wanted the truth. I could tell by my dad´s face he understood what i meant. My dad told me that his marriage with my mom was going though a hard time because of my mom´s infertility issues, one day he met my stepmom and things escalated quickly and when he was ready to leave my mom she founded out that she was pregant but so did my stepmom at the same time, he lied to my mom several times so that he could spend time with my stepmom and the twins, one day he admited to my mom that he was having an affair and they got divorced. I looked at my stepmom and she was in tears, they both tried to say sorry but i just couldn´t stay in that house any longer. i´m currently staying at my gf´s parents house. I have talked to G, L and S, it pained me alot and G has said that S has cried for me and that just breaks my heart. I have refused to talk with my parents or to N and D. The three of them lied to me. I feel like my life was built on lies and i am lost, i do not know what to do, i still love my sisters and my parents but they, especialy my parents, have hurted me. so much. Edit:fixed typos Edit: fixed typos Edit: I wanna thank everyone for their input on my situation. I have come to the conclusion that i should talk with N and D, i will send them a message so that we can meet in person and talk about it. I will also try to meet my younger siblings because i have not seen them since last week, just talked to them over the phone, and i missed them. About my parents i do not know what i will do, i need to talk to them so that i can get atleast some cloesure but i don't know if i will be able to do it. Thank you everyone! [Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/ymuofi/my_sisters_knew_about_our_fathers_affair_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (5 Nov 22) **My sisters knew about our father's affair with their mother** Read my last post so you can understand. Before anything i would like to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I have seen common questions being asked i i'll reply to them: -"Did your mom really had fertility issues?"-Yes, her family has told me many times she got really afected by it and that my birth was a got her over the moon. -"Did the twins knew?"-i did not knew if they knew thats i talked to them. Now onto the update; After i made my post i made a group chat with the twins and texted them and we decided to met My GF wanted to come with me but i told her i would rather go alone. When i arrived they were already there, they asked started to try to make small talk i just asked them if they knew, they started to tear up and told me that they always knew my dad but only knew that they were his daughters when they were 16 because our parents told them, they initially wanted to tell me but my dad and stepmom pressed them not to saying that if they told me it would destroy our family. I asked how were things at home, they told me that G and L started to be rude to them and to our parents while S was asking about me. They asked me if i could forgive them, i told them that i still love them but i just need time they told me they understood. I said i was sorry and that i shouldn't blame them for our dad's mistakes, they told me they should have told me earlier, we hugged and cried together. We said our goodbyes and then i went home, my gf asked me how i was and i just broke down, she held me tight and told me to not hold on and that she was there for me, words cannot discrive how much i love this woman she has been my rock though out all of this. I talked with my younger siblings this morning and we met at park. I hugged them really tight especialy S, i'm super atached to her and i am really protective of her i tried to explain to her, in a todler friendly way, that i was mad at our parets because they did a "bad thing" and not at her, she asked if i was ever going back home, i told her i didn't knew but i still loved her. I talked to my brothers to see how they were holding on,G and L told me they had been having a hard time because they never tough our parents could do something so horrible, they told me they missed me but understood why i had to leave. We spent the morning together and after luch they went back home. I haven't talk to my parents yet and i plan to call my maternal grandparents tonight to see if they knew or not. Thank everyone for their support you guys have helped me a lot [Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/ynr78f/i_talked_with_my_grandparents_about_my_fathers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (6 Nov 22) **I talked with my grandparents about my father's affair.** TLDR about my last two posts: My dad cheated on my mom with my stepmom, my twin stepsisters whom my father adopted are actually his bio daughters. Yesterday i went to visit my maternal grandparents, first we mad the usual small talk and then i told them i needed to tell them something serious. I layed it all out, the affair, the twins faternity everything . To say my grandparents were shocked would be an understatement. My grandma started to cry her heart out asking herself how could my dad "hurt my baby girl like that" my granddad was more angry he called my dad and stepmom everything he could think of. My grandparents always tough that my parents had divorced because they didn't just worked out and because they were young and despite not being their son-in-law anymore they mainted a great relationship with my dad. After my grandma calmed down she asked me how i was doing, i told her that its been hard but i am doing better now she said she still couldn't believe my dad would do something so horrible to my mom, my grandpa said if my dad is lucky they would never laid eyes on eachother because my grandpa would do something that would put him in jail, if you understand me. We spent the rest of the day catching up and talking about my mom, overall it was very intense but opening up to people who loved my mother like i did helped me a bit. Thanks for reading. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP finds out that his stepmom was dad's AP and her daughters are his half-siblings.

ONGOING

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxmuyq/oop_finds_out_that_his_stepmom_was_dads_ap_and/

yxos2t

[removed]

A Squirrelly Situation

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Optimal-Patience-Cat

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxos2t/a_squirrelly_situation/

yxr44p

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UPDATE from a fellow reddit user that I read.. Why do people like to knock you or try and take advantage of you when your clearly down at your lowest?

ONGOING

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxr44p/update_from_a_fellow_reddit_user_that_i_read_why/

yxrjei

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OOP's daughter breaks her heart

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxrjei/oops_daughter_breaks_her_heart/

yxsj4z

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AITA for leaving my baby shower early and "causing a scene"?

ONGOING

KimchiAndMayo

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxsj4z/aita_for_leaving_my_baby_shower_early_and_causing/

yxt62o

Wreck It Ralph Fan-Fiction

NEW UPDATE

ACERVIDAE

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxt62o/wreck_it_ralph_fanfiction/

yxthfd

[removed]

I will never speak to my mom or sister again once I turn 18.

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxthfd/i_will_never_speak_to_my_mom_or_sister_again_once/

yxtj2x

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OOP gets a squirrel desperately stuck in their ceiling (and wall)

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davidrcollins

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxtj2x/oop_gets_a_squirrel_desperately_stuck_in_their/

yxug8t

[deleted]

I will never speak to my mom or sister again once I turn 18.

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxug8t/i_will_never_speak_to_my_mom_or_sister_again_once/

yxwbb4

[removed]

AITA for not quitting my job over colleague's crush?

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxwbb4/aita_for_not_quitting_my_job_over_colleagues_crush/

yxx6iu

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OOP's mother tries to break up her marriage - things only escalate from there.

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HarpoNeu

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxx6iu/oops_mother_tries_to_break_up_her_marriage_things/

yxxgzl

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/prudent_coat8988 in r/amitheasshole** trigger warning: >!emotional abuse!< ---   [**AITA for not quitting my job over colleague's crush?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7g1f7/aita_for_not_quitting_my_job_over_colleagues_crush/) - 19 August 2021 I (32/f) live with my partner (44/m) and work in research. My primary colleague (30/m) and I have worked together for ~2 years on a major project involving significant intellectual and labor contributions from us both. The project is expected to span at least another ~2 years, and is vital to both of our careers. Not long ago, my colleague confessed to me that he is, and has been, infatuated or in love with me for pretty much the duration. It took place via a long email that was written after an evening of drinking. This was totally unexpected - in retrospect there may have been some signs, but nothing that wouldn't just as easily be accounted for by a considerate personality. Shortly after this confession, I came to my husband with the issue. I wanted to get his advice about the situation, and showed him the drafts which I'd composed to organize my thoughts on the matter - they stated unequivocally that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship, and hope these feelings won't complicate our work together. I was again surprised at my husband's reaction - he seemed offended, to think I must have invited my colleague's affections, and that I should immediately quit my job. As in, put in notice tomorrow. I was so taken aback my immediate reaction was to laugh / snort at this suggestion, which was probably a mistake. That would be utterly disastrous for my career, and isn't an option I'm willing to consider. I'd greatly prefer the entire scenario had never happened, as a difficult and lengthy project hangs in the balance, but I have no real concern at this point about my colleague forcing the issue or letting it compromise our work. It seemed like an intoxicated "getting my feelings off my chest". I'll need to put a lot of thought and caution into how I proceed with the work dynamic, but abandoning our project isn't even on the table. About a week has passed. My husband has been alternating between irate and the silent treatment, and suggested several times that I should move out of the house to be with my new spouse. Today I swung by the house on my lunch break and found the locks changed and my luggage on the patio. I have been blocked on his work number and cell. Obviously he cannot possibly intend for me to really move out, and is just pulling (what I absolutely believe to be an assholish) power sulk - but seeing how seriously he's taking this has my doubts up. Maybe I was ultimately too uncompromising when I refused to even entertain quitting my job for the sake of conversation and his feelings, and to shut the idea down so abruptly. AITA? **UPDATE:** Hubby called me. Long story short he's been extremely anxious each day when I leave for work, and buckled from that pressure today. I'm "welcome back" home once I've quit my job, which is obviously still unacceptable. I am considering taking a week of accrued paid leave, which will hopefully result in an adult conversation with husband (as well as coming to a decision about how to best handle colleague). That failing, I'm hearing the word "lawyer" loud and clear throughout these comments! I'm grateful for all of the support and perspective. **UPDATE 2:** I ended up calling my sister (38/f) - something I avoided initially because I didn't want to "stir the pot" by involving family members who are already disliked by husband. I'm currently with her and cousin (35/m), who are both supportive. Our plan is to call a locksmith tomorrow (to regain access to the property - husband can ruminate with friends or at a hotel for the present), for cousin to collect some important things of mine from the house, and for me to stay with my sister for a few days while I take a hard look at my situation and options. I'm not set on divorce at this point, but I definitely need to re-assert some very basic boundaries before exploring further discussion with husband. Thank you, strangers on Reddit, for helping me emerge from the emotional haze with some clarity. **UPDATE:** Enormous thanks for all of the private messages after the comments were locked. I'm a little overwhelmed with life in general right now, so I haven't replied to everyone, but I wanted to update and let it be known that I'm safe and well. My husband tried to bar my cousin from entering the family home to retrieve my things, which escalated to a physical confrontation. The police arrived and both husband and cousin were made to leave the premises. My sister and I changed the locks the next day to secure the house, and I'm staying with family for a little while while I plan my next move (which will in all likelihood be a divorce). Thanks again to all who've shared feedback and concern.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for not quitting my job over colleague's crush?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxxgzl/aita_for_not_quitting_my_job_over_colleagues_crush/

yxzlxp

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OOP grateful to Dyson for their fan app revealing his wife's affair (part 1 of 2)

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxzlxp/oop_grateful_to_dyson_for_their_fan_app_revealing/

yxzo94

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OOP grateful to Dyson for their fan app revealing his wife's affair (Part 1 of 2)

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxzo94/oop_grateful_to_dyson_for_their_fan_app_revealing/

yxzvyv

[removed]

OOP grateful to Dyson for their fan app revealing his wife's affair (Part 1 of 2)

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yxzvyv/oop_grateful_to_dyson_for_their_fan_app_revealing/

yy05im

[removed]

My daughter made me cry for the first time in my life.

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy05im/my_daughter_made_me_cry_for_the_first_time_in_my/

yy0cxc

***I am NOT OP, this is a repost!*** TW: >!Sexual assault by knowingly infecting someone with an STD, Infidelity!< ​ [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/wf2f1p/my_wife_gave_me_chlamydia/)**, on** r/TrueOffMyChest**, August 3rd 2022.** **My wife gave me chlamydia** I. Am. Livid. The only person I have had sex with within the past 5 years has been my wife. I thought I had a bladder infection or UTI, and scoffed when my doctor thought it was chlamydia. Well, here we are. I got the test results yesterday and I have chlamydia. Decided to start snooping and it didn't take long to find the text messages between her and her boy toy. My guess is she doesn't even know she had it as well. She thinks I stayed up all night working, but little does she know I've already emailed her little lover boy's wife all the text messages. I warned the lover boy's wife that he's been sleeping with an infected woman and to get herself tested. I'm still deciding how to process this all but wifey's going to wake up to my positive test results and the messages of her infidelity. The sun should be coming up in the next hour or two, and probably will be the end of this marriage. Update: I'll make a longer update eventually. I didn't confront her that morning. Boy toy's wife ended up responding to me and she has not confronted her husband yet either. I'm getting my legal bases covered first. ​ **Some comments:** >*You should just casually drop his name over coffee. “So, I was thinking you should probably tell John he has chlamydia”* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/wf2f1p/comment/iirpwq9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*I'm not sure about your wife's personality, but I would record what happens and also try to get any cash assets (she may have access to) out of the bank.* > >*I had something similar to this happen (2 years ago) and when I went to confront her about it, she tried to flip the script and play victim. In my case, she even went as far as to claim I was being "physically aggressive" and called the police. Luckily, the police had my cousin's first hand account of what really happened and the video of me confronting her with no physical aggression. Eventually, I had her removed from my home and never lost a penny.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/wf2f1p/comment/iirhnst/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) > >>**OOP:** >> >>*Yeah going to record everything. We have a separate account so my money is safe. The house is my parent's so I'm not worried about and property because we don't own any together.* ​ >*My two cents. Breathe, eat something, remain calm, don't let the situation become violent, remain rationale as possible, record if legal, create space between you both (physically, as in don't live together ASAP) document everything. Careful who you tell as people love gossip and don't really care about your situation. You won't get a answer that will satisfy your need for a reason. Sorry OP you've got a shitty few months in front of you. Ex did something very similiar 3.5yrs ago after 10yrs marriage. Gets better. Call a friend and rant, talk, get therapy if you feel it helpful.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/wf2f1p/comment/iirmutn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yrqdth/update_my_wife_gave_me_chlamydia_so_i_gave_her/)**, on** r/TrueOffMyChest**, November 10th 2022.** **Update: My wife gave me chlamydia. So I gave her divorce papers.** My last post got, an unexpected amount of attention. I guess you guys do deserve an update. The short of what happened was, my wife gave me chlamydia. I found out she was sleeping with a co-worker and planned to blow our marriage up that night. Thankfully, my drunken mind decided to wait. I had gotten into contact with the co-worker's wife, giving her evidence of what was going on and informing her that the two cheaters probably both had chlamydia. I did this because I suspected my wife was cheating with more than one person. In her texts, her lover boy had asked her if he was the only one she was screwing at the time, and she gave a non-answer. I know this dumb broad well enough that I knew she was screwing someone else as well. Luckily, the Co-workers wife got back to me first thing in the morning to explain that she figured he was seeing someone else. The two of them were privately separated at the time, and their separation agreement stated they were not to see anyone else at the time. She had her own suspicions and thanked me for reaching out. We agreed that she would not confront her husband until I could cover my own ass legally in exchange for the evidence I had of their affair together. She also confirmed to me that her husband didn't have chlamydia, at least when they were still together. I decided to not confront my wife that morning. I pretended everything was fine and dandy while I looked for lawyers and dug deeper to figure out the mystery of the chlamydia caper. I installed a keylogger on my wife's personal PC and quickly got access to a secret email. Where guess what, my wife was talking with someone on a hookup website. The best part was that it solved the mystery, as the man informed her he tested positive for chlamydia and that she probably had it. Even better, these emails were from months before I was infected myself, meaning she knowingly infected me with chlamydia. Disappointed that it was not in fact the chlamydia fairy that caused all this, I have a lawyer. It's not looking well for my soon-to-be ex. The fact she knowingly infected me made my lawyer salivate, along with the mountain of proof of her infidelity. The house we live in is my parents, and we've kept our finances separate since the beginning. Her chances of getting much, if anything out of me is pretty slim. I served her the divorce papers last month. I bought a security camera on amazon when this all started saying I was going to put it over our front door. I hid it in the living room the morning I decided to confront her. I decided to take one of the top comments from my first post on how to drop this on her. We were sitting and having breakfast when I said "So, I'm curious, does \[Co-worker\] know you infected him with chlamydia as well?" The short of it was she cried, apologized, tried to claim it was a one-time thing (I brought up that this was her second affair,) tried to claim she loved me, tried to blame me, screamed at me that I don't make her feel loved, yada yada you get it. I served her the divorce papers and her eviction notice right after. I'm staying with my parents until she's out of the house in a few weeks just to be safe. I'm juggling if I want to try and press assault charges against her for knowingly infecting me with chlamydia, as my lawyer said it should be pretty easy to prove with the emails we have. Overall though, I just want her out of my life like the STD she is. ​ **Some comments on the update:** > *Not feeling loved. The title of every cheater’s journal* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yrqdth/comment/ivv2sti/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*Press charges. That's some insidious shit she pulled. What if it was a more severe STD?* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yrqdth/comment/ivuz9yz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ >*Press charges. It could have been the drug resistant strain of gonorrhea or hepatitis.* > >*You’re not her only victim. She’s going to keep doing this to other people. All you will be doing is creating a record of how many people she knowingly infects.* [\[link\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yrqdth/comment/ivv88b0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ ​ # Friendly reminder, I am NOT the OP. This is a repost!

OOP finds out about his wife's infidelity after testing positive for an STD.

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swankycelery

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy0cxc/oop_finds_out_about_his_wifes_infidelity_after/

yy0jaw

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OOP grateful to Dyson for their fan app revealing his wife's cheating (Part 1 of 2)

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy0jaw/oop_grateful_to_dyson_for_their_fan_app_revealing/

yy118d

Originally posted by u/HelpMeRecalibrate in r/AmItheAsshole on Nov 5, '22, updated a day or two later as an edit. ETA: OOP posted a new update right after I shared to BoRU. New update added to the bottom. Trigger Warning: >!domestic abuse!< [Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ymrt2u/aita_for_insisting_that_i_have_nothing_to/) AITA for insisting that I have nothing to apologize for after my husband read my diary? I'm trying to stay focused here, but my edibles have kicked in, and I need advice. I have kept a diary since I was 10. It is my form of therapy, & I do not police my thoughts. I have never let anyone read my diary. My husband & I started dating over a decade ago. One day, a couple of months in, he was over at my apartment, & I had hopped in the shower. When I came out, he was sitting on the bed shell-shocked. He said he read my journal, which was mostly about my life as a newly single woman. He told me it really stung to read all that. *"But wait. Hold on. How'd you find it?"* He said he was looking for matches. He couldn't tell me why he kept reading even after he knew what it was, but his apology was sincere & I forgave him. Not too long after that, things got messy. He started getting either very sad or very angry while referring to things he read. His feelings were so intense that I STARTED APOLOGIZING FOR MY THOUGHTS. Anyway, we got married. A decade later, I was thinking of a divorce & wrote a ton to process my thoughts about some sensitive topics. Again, he "stumbled" upon my journal & read it all. I was pissed, but he convinced me that he would never do it again. Besides, he was really hurt by the things I wrote, and I felt bad. I let it go, but he started getting sad or angry again, thinking about what he had read. Once more, the intensity of his feelings led me to apologize for my thoughts. Now, here we are, married with kids, setting up Scrabble on a Friday night. He went to find a piece of paper & came back quiet & distracted. I asked if everything was okay. He looked at me sharply & told me that he had just read my journal. I tensed, thinking of how I recently tackled some tough feelings related to our different ethnic & religious backgrounds. I wrote things that would have been hurtful to read, & I was mortified knowing that he did read them, but I was also annoyed. *"Wait. You read my journal again?"* He blamed me for leaving it out & accused me of being a bad person for what I wrote, but honestly, I wasn't listening to him anymore. I just wanted to know why we were dealing with this again. It's pretty fucking basic knowledge that one shouldn't read other people's diaries, right? But look at him, forcing his way into my brain & shaming me for what he saw. I surprised myself by slamming my hand on the table. *"A THIRD TIME??"* We were both hurt, but he was accusing me of overreacting while minimizing and deflecting from his behavior. He called me "overly emotional" when I cried over how violated I felt. This feels so wrong, like I committed a thoughtcrime. So, is AITA for insisting he's 100% wrong? I'm so mad, but I am doubting whether my reaction was proportional to what he did. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being terrible), what would you rate someone reading your journal? & would you apologize for the things you wrote? EDIT: Thank you all for your comments. I am overwhelmed. For those suggesting therapy, I have been in it for a long time, and I credit it for listening to the little voice in my head instead of ignoring it. Therapy gave me the insight to see what he was doing in real time. But to those saying YTA and ESH, all I can say is that this type of behavior has been normalized so much for me, and I have been gaslit for so long, that I automatically convinced myself it wasn't *that bad*. I feel like I'm emerging from the upside-down, and I have to relearn basic social norms. You have no idea how sad all of this makes me. *Update added as an edit* UPDATE: We talked today, and he continued to minimize what he did and kept steering the conversation to how hurt he was reading what I wrote. I kept asking him if I shared those things willingly with him. When he said no, I told him that he can then deal with the consequences of his own actions by himself. I kept stressing to him what a big violation it was and that I needed space to think. I guess he's been stewing about it for the last few hours because tonight, he started to yell at me in front of our kids and angrily tell them about what I wrote. He literally told them that I don't like that they are from his culture. Fuck man, why are you hurting them?? To hurt me?! I was pleading with him to stop and trying to cover his mouth, the kids were shrieking and sobbing, and he was yelling and wild-eyed. The chaos of tonight just broke me. I had flashbacks of my childhood, screaming and crying on a stairwell watching my dad go after my mom. Long ago, I had promised that I would never put my kids through something like that. I tried to get them out of the house since he wasn't stopping, but we only got as far as my car where the 3 of us sat crying while I kept apologizing to them and trying to reassure them. God, how did I get to this point? **NEW UPDATE JUST ADDED TODAY [Nov 17, '22](https://www.reddit.com/user/HelpMeRecalibrate/comments/yy5e83/update_to_husband_reading_my_journal/)** Hey, Reddit. Here's an update to my post from a couple of weeks ago. I will keep the update itself brief: The kids and I are safe, and I am divorcing my husband. The incident that I posted about was so jarring that I could no longer downplay the abuse. I understood then that it would be so much worse for my kids to grow up in a household like that than to grow up with divorced parents. I did want to take this opportunity to talk to the people who seemed flabbergasted that I had not left him earlier. I know Reddit can be cruel sometimes, but to shame someone for staying in an abusive relationship is just so ignorant. A person stays with an abuser for a myriad of reasons: fear, shame, mental health issues, lack of resources, lack of support, lack of money, the partner's coercive control, etc. Please educate yourself on abusive relationships before writing judgmental comments. In my case, I stayed because he was so good at manipulating and gaslighting, at sowing doubt and confusion, that I started taking notes during arguments because I felt like I was going crazy. He would say things and then deny up-and-down that he said them. He would tell me that I "misinterpreted" his words or that I had a bad memory or that I had anger issues. Meanwhile, he was the one punching at walls, breaking things, lying, and following me from room to room as I was trying to get away from him. After years and years of this, I left only when I saw how much staying would hurt my kids. To those in emotionally abusive relationships like mine, I want you to know that I see you. This is real abuse, even if it doesn't leave physical scars. <3 *From your reposter:* *ETA, I feel like this is much more concluded now so I may change the flair. So thankful our OOP is strong!* This is a short, inconclusive update, but I wanted to share it anyway because I think it's an important lesson in paying attention to red flags. I think a lot of people ignore these red flags in a relationship because, *love*. Unfortunately, sometimes those little red flags develop into very scary behavior like this. So please, if you're in a relationship where *little* things like this keep happening, keep your eyes wide open and be careful. Sometimes love is not enough to save you from a monster. **Remember, I'm not the OP, I'm safe, no need to send me Reddit Cares, and please do not go comment on the original post as it's against BoRU rules.**

Woman's Husband Keeps Reading Her Diary (AITA Nov 5, '22)

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KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy118d/womans_husband_keeps_reading_her_diary_aita_nov_5/

yy2ko0

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/working-cherry562 in r/trueoffmychest** trigger warnings: >!rape, slut shaming!< ---   [**My daughter made me cry for the first time in my life.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ymt53i/my_daughter_made_me_cry_for_the_first_time_in_my/) - 5 November 2022 (This all happened yesterday) I (28f) have a 13 year old daughter, I had her when I was 15 after I was raped by someone who I thought was my friend (daughter doesn’t know this I decided not to tell her. Keep it in mind). Well I also have a sister (35f) She’s honestly the best sister I could ever ask for. Now for explanation. I was picking my daughter up from school and she seemed like she was in a bad mood so I wanted to do something that would cheer her up. I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall or go out to the Chinese restaurant she loves; She told me no because my sister had promised to take her to the movies so I told her i’d drive her to the movies she then told me no again and to drop her off at my sisters house so I agreed. 3 hours later she came home she was happier now, I asked if the movies were fun but she just ignored me and went to her room instead. I thought this was weird because she normally always tells me how fun the movies are or whenever she goes somewhere with my sister. So I called her down for dinner she came down and walked right past me to grab her jacket and shoes, Obviously confused I asked her where she was going. She said she was going to get Mexican food with my sister (we’re hispanic and I had already prepared some pastelitos salvadoreños). I told her I had already made dinner and she got mad and told me to leave her alone because she didn’t want to eat something a dirty slut made, I asked her what she meant by that and she said I was gross for losing my virginity at such a young age and that she was grossed out even looking at me she called me a disgusting whore and slammed the door and left. This honestly broke my heart since I had gone to therapy for so long to try and cope with what happened, But as a result my own daughter basically slut shamed me for having my innocence taken away. I honestly just lost my appetite and just went to my room, I have been crying ever since my heart honestly just completely feels sad. I think my sister told her because I planned on telling her until she was older. I feel betrayed and hurt and don’t know what to do. She knocked on my room door but I didn’t open it. I mean how do I even approach this? Also thank you for reading this I needed to vent. ❤️ **Little Update:** I told my daughter we needed to talk with a note and she agreed. So once she comes out of her room I will explain to her the whole situation.   [**My daughter made me cry for the first time in my life. (UPDATE)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yqqjn2/my_daughter_made_me_cry_for_the_first_time_in_my/) - 9 November 2022 Thank you to everyone for all the kind comments and dms it really meant a lot ❤️. I talked to my daughter yesterday, I told her the entire story of what happened and how hurt I felt that she slut-shamed me for something I didn’t even want. She started to cry and asking me to forgive her because my sister had told her a whole different story. She told me that her friends were talking about their parents and she said something about me being 28 and her friends asked her how my mom let me have a kid at 15 and so she called my sister during lunch about the whole situation so my sister told her that I slept around during sophomore year and went to parties a lot and that’s how I got pregnant and she said she was shocked and was grossed out with the fact that my mom even allowed that. This honestly hurt even more knowing my own sister who I adored said this. I still felt hurt because of the names she called me which honestly have just been burnt into my head. So she’s grounded until her school year ends which is honestly the first time i’ve ever given her a long punishment. Now for my sister, I cut contact with her. I told her to stay out of my life and never to contact me again. I told my family and to say my dad was mad is an understatement. He got mad and called her immediately to yell at her after I told him and my mom. He cut her off financially and took down anything that involved her. My mom felt bad for what happened and comforted me. My brothers called her disgusting for trying to lie to my daughter. And again I want to thank everyone for caring and helping me out with this situation. 💕 **Edit:** To everyone saying I’m being harsh for punishing her for my sister lying to her, It’s not that. It’s the way she spoke to me and the way she probably thought it was okay to say that but Idk. Also the end of the school year is the 2nd week of May but I may also take away from her punishment probably like 4 months. **Edit #2:** To clear this up about me grounding my daughter. She gets ungrounded January 1st or December. She gets her phone on week days just not weekends, She gets to watch TV, she gets to use her computer still, She still gets to go out with her friends. What else would I change?   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My daughter made me cry for the first time in my life.

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy2ko0/my_daughter_made_me_cry_for_the_first_time_in_my/

yy4azr

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AITA for leaving my baby shower early and "causing a scene"?

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Corfiz74

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy4azr/aita_for_leaving_my_baby_shower_early_and_causing/

yy4fq3

Trigger Warning: >!abelism, abuse!< **Note - I am not OOP. Originally posted Nov 7 2022** AITA for leaving my baby shower early and "causing a scene"? [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yp90ij/aita_for_leaving_my_baby_shower_early_and_causing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) TA account My (32F) husband of 7 years (32M) and I are pregnant. We have one previous child, Anne (6F, fake name) who has epilepsy. She has had 1 seizure before (relevant later in the story). To be honest, my MIL is horrible. She gives backhanded compliments, insults me and my looks and always tries to set my husband up with other people. The last time we went to her place she said she could make my husband a tinder account, or set him up with some girl who is the daughter of MILs best friend. My husband has told her to stop, but doesn't do anything else. News flash, she doesn't stop. When sending invites to my baby shower, I told my husband I didn't want my MIL there. He told me, "since you're not letting my own mother be in the room with you when you're giving birth, you have to invite her to this. You should be grateful that you get a baby shower at all". Also, he wouldn't even be at the baby shower, as he has something at work. At the baby shower, I was telling everyone how our baby was once again a girl. My MIL then decided to say, "Wow another girl! Let's hope she's not like her sister". I asked what she meant by that and she said, "we don't need any other diseases in the family. Imagine seeing a new-born baby drop to the floor and shake everywhere. It's embarrassing". At first I was honestly confused as she clearly had 0 idea what she was talking about. But then the pregnancy hormones really kicked in and I started crying hysterically. I left my friends house and my mother drove me home. Once I got home I saw my husband there. I didn't know why he was home and not at work but I just didn't stop crying. He said, "where are all the gifts? You do realise how expensive some baby things can be". I honestly couldn't believe he said that of all things so I decided to lock myself in our bedroom. About 10 mins later he tells me he got a text from his mother explaining what happened. He told me that I "caused a scene" and "should be happy I got to meet up with some friends today". I tried explaining how wrong what she said was and how she insulted our daughter and UNBORN baby. He said "well Anne's epilepsy medication isn't cheap so I see why she said what she said. You just interpreted it wrong. Apologise to my mother." I packed a bag and called my mother to pick me up. I'm currently at her place and she's picking Anne up from school. My husband and his family keep blowing up my phone and calling me a "drama queen" along with other hateful names so I need to ask, AITA? Edit: WOW this blew up. I woke up to 700 new notifications so thank you all for your feedback. Just wanted to let y’all know that I am meeting up with my husband later today and we will discuss things. I *will* be showing him this posts and your comments. Also, thank you all for the kind messages and the awards too! However I don’t know what they do lol. Can someone please explain them to me? Thanks. See you soon. **Note - First update added to original AITA post** UPDATE: ok so I’d like to start by explaining my username. My friend (who hosted the baby shower) suggested the name as a joke. When I showed her the kind things y’all said I also asked, “why do people think I’m suicidal?”. So I’d just like to say I’m not and my friend apologised if we worried any of y’all. Ok now to what happened All of you were talking about how abusive my husband is. I guess I never realised it was abuse just because it wasn’t physical. I don’t know why I had that mindset, but I did. I sat him down and started reading. “You’re MIL is horrible” “Divorce this man” “Anne doesn’t deserve this” etc. I explained to him that I wanted a divorce. We were in a public cafe so I knew there was no way he’d physically hurt me. This was how the conversation went after I said I wanted a divorce: Husband: “So just because a few strangers on the internet told you to do something, you’re going to do it?” Me: “it’s not ‘a few’, it’s thousands.” Husband: “It doesn’t matter who it is, you don’t even know them” Me: “Well you don’t know the chefs in restaurants yet you trust them to cook your food” Husband: “Shut the fuck up” Me: “it’s not my fault all you do is run to mommy and choose her over your daughter” Husband: “I don’t give a fuck about you or your opinion you fucking bitch” Me: “ha ok” After that he stormed out of the cafe. I think y’all would be glad to know that I emptied our joint bank accounts and took any valuables. Y’all might think “oh that’s a happy ending to the story” but there’s way more. So my FIL contacted me (which is weird we only talk at family gatherings and what not) and told me he apologises on behalf of his wife’s actions. He told me that she never liked me because I “stole him away” from someone called Melissa?Apparently my husband and her were together during college but she cheated on him. MIL however still loved her like a daughter. Turns out, all these years we’ve been together he’s been cheating on me with Melissa. MIL knew. FIL knew. Everyone knew. It explains a lot, like why he wasn’t at work that day. What actually happened was Melissa came over to our house and they had sex IN MY OWN BED. I was disgusted hearing it. I’m not sure how but she must’ve left before I came home. So basically Melissa told MIL and MIL told FIL. FIL said he regretted not telling me sooner and kept apologising over and over again. I was shocked and started crying. I thanked him for telling me and said I just needed some space. However he also told me that MIL was telling a different story to what happened on that day (none of my soon to be ex husbands family was there so they didn’t know what happened) and that’s why everyone was telling ME to apologise to MIL. MIL told them that I started yelling at her for “wearing a better dress than me on my special day” and I “threw drinks and food on her”. (She made a mess of her dress previously so I’m guessing that’s what she used as ‘evidence’ lol). FIL said, “the woman really loves herself. In a couple of days I can guarantee you we’ll have *another* picture of herself hanging in our living room”. I laughed and said goodbye. I’ve also gotten a lawyer to sort out some divorce stuff. I’ll give y’all another update soon. ❤️ **Update on OOP’s profile, posted Nov 10 2022** [Update Link](https://www.reddit.com/user/toaster_inthebathtub/comments/yrzwr3/update_aita_for_leaving_my_baby_shower_early_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) UPDATE - AITA for leaving my baby shower early and “causing a scene”? So I already did one update and now I’m doing the second one here (which I think is what you’re supposed to do??) So a lot has happened. Apparently after my ex left the cafe he went to a bar and got really drunk. He ended up assaulting the bar tender and then resisting arrest and hitting an officer once the police came. So he had the audacity to try and get me to bail him out and I just laughed and hung up. So he obviously called mommy and she came to the rescue. Hopefully I can use that against him because I will be fighting for full custody (my friend works in the legal sector so she’s helping me out with that and explaining it all to me) Thank you once again to EVERYONE who interacted with my post whatsoever. Positive or negative feedback, I am grateful for it. I also got a lot of good advice. Anne has been asking a lot of questions still so I’m going to be explaining everything to her tonight. She’s pretty mature for her age but I’m just worried that this might really affect her, especially since she’s so young.

AITA for leaving my baby shower early and “causing a scene?”

ONGOING

KimchiAndMayo

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy4fq3/aita_for_leaving_my_baby_shower_early_and_causing/

yy51ia

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/aita1231 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for evicting a tenant because they got pregnant?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ikg117/aita_for_evicting_a_tenant_because_they_got/) - 1 September 2020 Yes, I know the title sounds awful, but please do hear me out before making a judgement. I will accept whatever judgement I’m given. I (30m) purchased a 3 bedroom condo in Toronto, Canada 5 years ago when I was in my second year of medical residency. Soon after the purchase, I rented one of the rooms to my roommate (f29) to offset the costs of the mortgage. I live in one room, she lives in the second, and the third is my study/office. She has been a great roommate from the beginning. We aren’t necessarily friends (as in we don’t do things together for fun), but we get along exceptionally well. The entire roommate/tenant relationship has gone swimmingly up until recently. A couple of weeks ago, my roommate broke the news to me that she is pregnant. The father was a fling of hers, who does not want anything to do with the child. My roommate has decided she wants to keep the child anyways, and raise it on her own. To me that seems like a huge challenge, and I admire her for it. The issue is, while I don’t necessarily dislike children, I have no desire to live with a baby. While the condo is a fair size, I will most definitely be woken up by the babies crying at night. My condo is also where I like to come home to and relax, like a haven after a long work day, and the idea of coming home to a baby honestly seems absolutely chaotic. Especially since this isn’t my own child (ie one that my girlfriend and I decided to have/was mentally prepared for). As difficult as it was for me to do this, I told my her essentially what I’ve written here, and that it would be best if she finds somewhere else to live. I am not rushing her out or anything like that, I have given her 6 month’s notice, since any later than that will come too close to the birth. She was honestly quite taken aback by this, and thought that I was being cruel. Her primary concern is that rent has gone up substantially in this city since she signed on with me (I haven’t increased her rent since she moved in, so she’s essentially paying 2015 rent). She works as a waitress, and will likely need to find a lesser apartment to keep within the same budget. A couple of other considerations are that she was out of work while restaurants were closed, but I did waive her rent for that period. All of the furniture is also mine (aside from her bedroom), so she would need to figure something out on that front as well, aside from all of the child expenses. I understand her position, and I feel horrible about the situation, but I honestly can’t do it. AITA for this? Verdict: NTA **Edit:** Thank you to everyone who has commented. There have been two great suggestions on how I can make this situation better, which I have taken to heart. I haven't been able to give life much thought lately, as work has been quite busy. Firstly, I have a friend in real estate, and I'm going to see if they can help her try to find some affordable listings. Secondly - as I don't plan to take on another tenant after her, and can afford to do this anyway - I have decided I'm going to waive her rent for the remainder of the tenancy. This will hopefully give her a bit of a boost to get on her feet. **Edit 2:** I'm just checking on this for the first time today. My god, I was not expecting anywhere near this many replies. Thank you to everyone who has commented. I am about to head into surgery, but I will do my best to get back to as many people as I can later today. **Edit 3/update:** I am honestly overwhelmed by the amount of attention this has gotten. Thank you everyone that commented, regardless of your opinion. I was planning to reply to as many posts as possible, but honestly seeing as there are over 2000 comments, I think I will have to just address some common questions here. I also have an update on the situation, and I wish everyone that's commented so far could receive notification to read it. So firstly: To anyone asking about the legality of the matter, I consulted an attorney to be 1000% sure, and this is perfectly legal. Since I live in the unit, the eviction laws are much more lenient. Secondly: To anyone that said I should allow her to live with me anyway, I challenge you to consider what the alternative would be. If this doesn't happen now, then when? Her baby will become a toddler, and a toddler eventually becomes a school age child. Will it really be any better to do this later on? Or do you suggest that I let her raise the child here until they are 18? **Finally, the update:** When I came home from work today, I told her that I wanted to discuss the overall situation. Before I even began, she actually apologized to me for how she spoke to me, and for expecting that I would be okay for her to raise her child here. I told her that her apology is totally unnecessary, as her reaction was completely understandable considering the uncertainty of her future. I then told her that what I told all of you; that I would waive her rent for the remainder of her stay to help her get on her feet. She pushed back on this at first, but after I urged her to think of her child, she graciously accepted. Aside from this, I also told her about my friend who could help her out with finding some affordable listings in the area. I thought I might be overstepping there, but she was actually extremely thankful and said she would take me up on there. Finally, I want to thank u/tuttipeachyfrutti for probably the best piece of advice that I've read (I'm sure there are many more people that I should be thanking, but I honestly don't think I'll be able to read everything here). This was that I could help her obtain a more reliable work position at my hospital, nothing fancy as she doesn't have any schooling, but it will be much more secure than waitressing (and once you're in, there's always ways to work your way up). There would also be benefits/maternity leave that I don't think restaurants usually offer. This was probably my biggest risk of overstepping, but when I mentioned the idea to her she was actually over the moon (tears were shed...). I do agree that I acted in self interest here, so I think it's the least I can do to make sure this soon to be mother and her child have some sense of security in their lives. Thank you again to everyone. **This isn't an edit, but more of a request. Does anyone here know if it's possible to change your title to include something like "updated". I really want everyone that commented to know that they all made a huge impact on a new mothers life. I can't thank you enough, very glad that I made this post.**   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for evicting a tenant because they got pregnant?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy51ia/aita_for_evicting_a_tenant_because_they_got/

yy55yf

**I am not the OOP. Original posts were made by** u/bghffu **in** r/entitledparents**. Any changes made by me are in \[brackets\] for context given from other comments.** **Trigger Warning:** >!mentions of racism, assault, drunk driving, death!< **Spoiler Warning:** >!Karma can be brutal!< ​ [**My friends mom pushed me into a table saw**](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/x3pjvg/my_friends_mom_pushed_me_into_a_table_saw/) Sept 2, 2022 (77 days ago) This happened eight months ago. My friend, Kylan, and I work in a woodworking company. It’s a pretty great job for me, as I love hands-on activity and creating things. Kylan, however, has more of a difficult time with it all. Which is completely fine as I help him with it. His mom and my mom aren’t necessarily close, but both support me and him in our work. We’re pretty young so it helps with reassurance. But a few days before this incident, I started to realize that Kylans mom never really acknowledged my work. Now that’s not really a big deal to me as I don’t require praise but I do find it a bit weird as Ky’s mom has apparently had a few racial incidents at her own work and I’m African. I was just assuming it’s because she’s afraid (I’m a pretty built guy and 6’6). Fast forward to Tuesday, and I’m working on a wooden chair that has taken me a few more attempts than wanted. The table saw I had been using to make clean cuts was pretty rusty from Ky using it constantly. I headed out to the department to get a replacement and was a bit annoyed with Ky not doing it himself. I came back and said “Hey man, don’t be afraid to change your equipment.” And he rolled his eyes and just replied with a “kay”. Which just annoyed me even more. I just pushed passed it and continued. But minutes later, I heard Ky laughing and I looked up to find him laughing at my cutting. This made me extremely upset as I’ve been working almost day and night while he only works 7-9 hours. This along with his mom recently coming into shop and laughing along with him. This got to me and I walked over to Ky and told him a few words that I shouldn’t have. He immediately got defensive and pushed me back and I was about to strike back when hi mom instantly joined in with him and intentionally pushed me to the left where the saw was. Stupidly, I left it on. As soon as I was pushed back, the back of my hand was shoved right into the saw causing a drizzle of blood to just gush everywhere and for my palm to be basically split in half with a huge gap between my pinkie and ring finger. The shock kicked in and I instantly grabbed my hand and shouted for my mom who was on the other side of the shop. She immediately got an ambulance and I was sent to the closest hospital. Ky has been texting me almost everyday apologizing for his mother. The only text from her was her saying that “this was my fault and to not hurt her son”. UPDATE: After scrolling through the comments, I think I need to clear some things up. 1. I am 17 years old. I’m allowed to work here because my brother in law (29) owns it along with his father. I’m trusted. 2. How did I manage to keep the saw on? Again, I’m not sure myself. Extremely critical mess up on my part 3. “Your hand would’ve been split in half!” Yes. It is basically split in half. It stopped at a gap in between and thankfully by a miracle wasn’t completely cut in half, but was itching off the edge from a clean cut down the middle. \------ Minor update: I got in contact with EMs husband and told her about the full situation and that she was intentionally trying to harm me. Apparently EM had been telling her husband a completely different story. He seemed pissed and said he’d talk to EM. This was about 3 hours ago. **Comments from OOP** In the last few months ive tried so many times \[to call the cops and press charges\] but unfortunately goes nowhere because her husband is a cop My mom’s in the workshop because she’s one of the managers. It’s not a huge place like everyone’s imagining We actually have no clue \[why Kylan’s mother was hanging out at the work place\]. My mom and I have told her its a huge risk for her to be hanging around but she insists she’ll be as far away as possible from everything and “just wants to watch”. She’s what you’d call a helicopter parent, so we believed her Half of my ring finger is gone along with all of my pinky. A lil of my middle was injured The hands doing pretty good. Still a bit gory to look at after being stitched up and worked on, but still workin and getting the job done ​ [**My friends mom pushed me into a tablesaw (UPDATE)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/xbsmaz/my_friends_mom_pushed_me_into_a_tablesaw_update/) Sept 12, 2022 (67 days ago) So since my first post (thank you all for the kind words and advice) a lot has went down. First, Kylan and I have made up. It wasn’t his fault for what his mom did and I get that. Secondly, after telling EMs husband about what actually has been going on and him getting pissed at EM, he’s taken me into the station to get things sorted out and asking how I want to move forward I haven’t really decided what I’d like to do at the moment but I’m leaning towards just money for compensation or something. EM two days ago has also showed up at my house demanding for me but I wasn’t there at the time. But when I did get back home, I saw EM standing there waiting for me (my mom said she stayed there the whole time waiting for me) and I went up to ask her what’s going on and why she’s here. Aaaand in response, I got a huge glob spat in my face and a whole bunch of yelling Honestly, it took me a lot of restraint to not yell at her back, but I just calmly told her to get the fuck away from my mom and my house. Eventually she did UPDATE (again) Finally after tons of comments, I’m going to take this to court. EMs husband has given me a good injury attorney that I can talk to and my mom needs to help me fill the documents out once I get there. Idk when the court date is tho **Comments from OOP** Minutes after writing the post I again got a knock on my door and it was EM. She told me me telling her husband was unnecessary and now he wont talk to her. She slapped me and I instantly shoved her. I underestimated my strength though and she went a good few feet. I just shut the door and told my mom and i feel horrible about hitting a woman My hand is stitched up. There were questions, but I didn’t include any other people I just told them about a saw. My mom couldn’t do much, she barely speaks english and my father is in prison. EM told her husband multiple different things ab the situation (me groping her, being disrespectful, etc) Incident happened 2 months before I got her fired from her business and tried contacting police, a week after that she started telling her husband lies that caused him to not take any of my reports seriously ​ [**Third update on table saw incident**](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/y03dxs/third_update_on_table_saw_incident/) Oct 10, 2022 (39 days ago) Hi everyone. I’m sorry for all the updates but I want to update you and also clear things up. 1. I’m sorry for lying about my age. I’m 16 not 17. I was scared of everyone calling me a child and that I’m immature. 2. I know. I’m tall for a 16 year old. As for updates? Well theres a few. The first update was me talking to police about her harassing me. I’m pretty sure something happened because ever since then she’s been quiet about the situation where before she used to call me and berate me for everything Second update is my BIL is trying to go through the process of a restraining order and wants to help me during the court hearing. He also did install a saw stop. Reason we didn’t have one before is really unknown. Third update is I actually injured my hand even more. Last weekend I sprained my wrist. So that’s why my friend Harley is doing it. Sorry for the slow update. Fourth update is that Kylans mom kicked him out. Apparently he’s been in contact with the police as well because of how she’s been treating him recently. I guess she’s been hit pretty hard by this because she’s been drinking heavily and being mean to Ky. She found out about it and kicked Ky out to the curb. I’ve tried contacting him but I’ve gotten no answer since Thank you for all your patience and prayers. I do appreciate it and soon I will be getting the justice I deserve ​ [**Most likely the last update.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/ynalgt/most_likely_the_last_update/) Nov 6, 2022 (12 days ago) Hi everyone. The time has come to update you all on what will probably be the last of this situation (hopefully). Sorry if there’s any typing errors, my hand still feels funny from my wrist. EM was supposed to be scheduled for court but it never came. Apparently some people have figured out who she was irl from word being spread and she’s lost a lot of friends from it (this is what her husband has disclosed at least). Not sure what led up to it but she was drinking and drove onto one of the highways and got into a massive crash. Everyone else involved got away with a few injuries but she was basically dead at the scene. So yeah, I guess that’s really how it ends. Not the ending everyone was hoping for lol. Sometimes karma works in the worst ways possible. Thank you to everyone who really supported me through everything I appreciate you all **Comments from OOP** Yes \[I have been checked for nerve damage\] and I do have severe damage. It takes me a while to type these posts lol Yeah \[I’m still dealing with the pain\] It sucks ass. It burns and i can’t barely grip or pick up anything **When asked about Ky** \[He’s\] not great Yes \[we are still friends\] and now we’re even closer friends than before ​ **\*\*\*\*\*Reminder - I am not the original poster.\*\*\*\*\***

My friends mom pushed me into a table saw (Final Update)

CONCLUDED

Tirraellea

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yy55yf/my_friends_mom_pushed_me_into_a_table_saw_final/

yybvhm

*This is not my post. OOP is u/Low_Use2937 in r/Mommit. The suggestions on the original post are hilarious. There were too many to include them all, and I couldn’t pick between which were the best, but I highly recommend reading through them.* [**Creative moms- I need your help!**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/comments/y3h6kg/creative_moms_i_need_your_help/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) posted 14 October 2022 My 4yo daughter wants to be a stool for Halloween- one you sit on, not one that comes out of you. She decided on that costume last Halloween and has stuck to it for a year, aside from a brief (two week) fling with the idea of being a ghost. I think it’s hilarious and definitely original, but my question is… how? How do I make a stool costume? Where do I even begin? What do I make it out of? I’ve made tricky costumes before (she wanted her baby sister to be a black hole last year and the finished product was *chef’s kiss*), but this one has me stumped. Also, we always do group/family costumes. Any ideas for what to dress the 22mos sister as that will go with a stool? [**Update on my little stool: We did it! Thank you to all who offered advice/tips! Your help made a little girl’s dream of being furniture possible.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/comments/yiulac/update_on_my_little_stool_we_did_it_thank_you_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) posted 31 October 2022 [**Comment thread**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/comments/yiulac/update_on_my_little_stool_we_did_it_thank_you_to/iukwe08/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) *Commenter:* I've been thinking about you all day! The costume came out adorable. What did your baby go as, in the end? *OOP:* [A toad!](https://imgur.com/a/aUCQM9q)

OOP’s daughter would like to be a stool for Halloween. They always do family costumes, and OOP is trying to figure out how to make this work.

CONCLUDED

BORU_Lover

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yybvhm/oops_daughter_would_like_to_be_a_stool_for/

yyk4sc

[removed]

My [34m] stepdaughter [19f] and I are very close. Her boyfriend [20m] doesn't like that.

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yyk4sc/my_34m_stepdaughter_19f_and_i_are_very_close_her/

yykgxd

[removed]

My [34m] stepdaughter [19f] and I are very close. Her boyfriend [20m] doesn't like that

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yykgxd/my_34m_stepdaughter_19f_and_i_are_very_close_her/

yykyi9

[removed]

OOP is heading to Perth to get his son back.

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yykyi9/oop_is_heading_to_perth_to_get_his_son_back/

yynk54

\*\**I am NOT OOP. Original post by* [*u/crush-Survivor-123*](https://www.reddit.com/user/crush-Survivor-123/) *in* [*r/survivinginfidelity*](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/) *and* [*r/cheating\_stories*](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/) ​ \*\**OOP has posted largely the same text of the initial post in both subreddits, I have reproduced text from survivnginfidelity but cheating\_stories thread is also linked.* ​ \*\**Trigger warnings are as a measure of caution. If you disagree please ignore them. It is better to err on the side of caution when mentioning triggers.* ​ trigger warnings: >!infidelity, violence and assault, abusive relationship, !< ​ mood spoilers: >!sad, unfortunate for OOP's wife, things (mostly) improve for OOP!< ​ ​ ​ ​ # Discovered my wife’s (now ex) affair the day she was admitted into hospital , now years later she can’t accept my engagement to my fiancé. [[LINK - survivinginfidelity](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/is66hn/discovered_my_wifes_now_ex_affair_the_day_she_was/)] - September 13, 2020 ([Also posted in cheating\_stories](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/isqabk/discovered_my_wifes_now_ex_affair_the_day_she_was/)) # If ever there was a prize for thee most horrible way to learn of your significant other’s affair I would probably win it and be in its hall of fame, like so many people in this sub I suddenly found myself as a member of a club that no body ever wants to be part of. I will never forget the sound of my ex- sister- in- law’s voice as she kept saying “ I’m sorry, I’m sorry “ over and over on the phone while I drove home from a week long business trip. I was confused and had absolutely no idea what she meant but only after I managed to calm her down somewhat did she inform me that my wife was in hospital and that I needed to hurry home , my mind went into overdrive as I tried to get more information as well as not crash while I began speeding to get there faster. The only thing she told me is that it was an assault then cut the call and wouldn’t answer when I tried to call her again. A bit of background My ex and I met in our mid 20s , it was through a mutual friend at a barbecue. At first she seemed almost too good to be true, not only was she incredibly beautiful but she was also shy and introverted. It took a while for us to officially date but once it happened I was over the moon , when we first tried to get intimate she suddenly started crying( should of taken this as a bad sign) . I freaked out and thought it was something I did but she apologized the next day and told me she was triggered, as it turns out two years before meeting me she was in a longterm relationship and a guy that was abusive both emotionally ,physically as well as mentally. He would degrade her during their moments of intimacy then apologize after ward , she had a Flashback but reassured me it had nothing to do with me so we took things slow as she was still in therapy. It was tough but because I loved her I believed once we got over this it would make our relationship stronger and for a while it honestly appeared that way. Fast forward another year and we’d gotten engaged ( first time intimacy also happened during this stage) , I was fortunate enough to be able to buy a house for us courtesy of inheritance from my late uncle . Things were going great and I half seriously suggested we plant a peach tree ( important for later on) to signify new beginnings and she was all for it. We were wedded not long after that and quite frankly it was absolutely amazing. Of course we had our normal ups and downs like every married couple but I considered us more lucky because she always made it a point to never go to bed upset with each other and she would always point out gently if I did anything to upset her . Sometime later life basically happened and I was promoted at my job, it meant more pay but it also meant I would be traveling more for work conferences and business meetings. I noticed she had been getting down a lot more and wasn’t being as intimate as before , she would keep her phone close to her and even stopped gently addressing things that upset her. I tried to talk to her about it but she assured me that she was fine and this was a phase she was going through and having no reason to not trust her I let it go. She would sometimes go to her sister’s place and spend the night telling me she just needed a bit of girl time with her sister, the day I got that fateful phone call was the day she was meant to be keeping her sister company again. I remember rushing into the hospital barely breathing and frantically asking about my wife when world’s most understanding and patient police officer sat me down to explain what happened. He told me he was a friend of my SIL and he happened to respond to a domestic disturbance call , he arrived on the scene to find a couple fighting. The supposed boyfriend was on top of the female punching her and she was screaming trying to scratch him , this didn’t make any sense to me because 1.) this had nothing to do with my wife because we’re married and 2.) literally every one who knew my wife knew she wouldn’t do that. He gave me a knowing look and placed his hand on my shoulder than told me to be very calm because said girlfriend was actually my wife. If it weren’t for the severity of the situation I would’ve laughed in his face but something in the way he said everything made me believe him , I then was ushered in by a nurse to see my wife and what greeted me to this day I still can hardly find the words to describe it. I just stood there for what seemed like an eternity then a doctor came it and explained her injuries to me . The jaw was slightly fractured , her left eye was completely swollen shut and had massive bruising covering half of her face aswell as 3 broken ribs . Then the doctor dropped another bomb and told me she was pregnant , I still couldn’t understand how this happened then I caught sight of her sister. She at first tried to avoid me but at the persuasion of her police officer friend she told her what she knew, it turns out my wife’s ex had gotten in contact with her five months ago, he was doing this redemption pyramid step thing where he would apologize to people he has wronged in order to clear his karma ( anyone else B.S meter going crazy right now). They began talking more then he convinced her to meet up for coffee and show her he was a changed man . Obviously old feelings resurfaced coupled with the fact that he appeared changed now it soon developed into an emotional affair, my wife approached her sister for advice who told her to takes things slow and just get it out of her system if she needed to ,which then lead to a physical affair three months later.She actually told my wife that she should at least make peace with her ex in whatever form it may be and even offered to cover for my wife once in while. My SIL was in tears at this point and kept apologizing to me saying that she didn’t know about the abuse as my wife never told anyone other then me and her therapist at the time about it. I was numb , I just couldn’t feel anything and was absolutely dumbfounded by my wife’s actions. When my wife finally woke up I was there and she burst into tears upon seeing me. I spent the following months in zombie flight mode , there was individual counseling for her as well as marriage counseling for us at the strong urging of her family. In counseling she was surprisingly forthcoming about how it happened and how she absolutely hated herself for causing me pain, she mentioned how at one point on her way home from his place she actually fantasized about driving into the river because she smelt like him and didn’t want his scent to “ corrupt me” (however that made sense) , she said she the tried to end it but was too weak and only after learning that she was pregnant that it actually woke her up and made her realize that any further contact with this man was toxic to not only her but the unborn child aswell hence went to end things in person for good when he snapped on her. She became a shell of herself and developed a phobia for any other males but me, she one point she couldn’t even use the bathroom at night unless I was holding her hand ( sad right). After the baby was born (son by the way) we got a paternity test and he was mine, but the more time I spent with her the more I realize I didn’t hate my wife , I actually loathed her . I couldn’t see the woman I married but instead saw his left overs each time I looked at her , I decided to leave because I was afraid I’d do something I’d regret and be exactly like her abusive ex. She bagged me not to leave and even made the ridiculous offer of giving me a “hall pass” as well as slapping her if I wanted to, I knew at this point I had to get out. She was actually very generous during the divorce , she moved back into her parents and signed a very well thought out co parenting plan issued by the courts. Moving forward three years later and I meet my now fiancé by chance , I was in a book store with a buddy of mine and we were discussing Egyptian mythology when this beautiful woman approached me to correct me on my pronunciations of the Egyptian gods and cities. Needless to say immensely impressed by not only her understanding but also by the fact that she is Egyptian herself. We exchanged numbers which eventually lead us to dating, when I finally proposed to her it was actually in front of the preach tree I had plant years ago. I got down on one knee but before I got my answer she ran into the house then came out with a ring aswell. Turns out she was actually planning on proposing herself because she was madly in love with me and she just didn’t want any other woman to have me , my son in all his sweet child like innocence told his mother what happened because he was present when it happened. My ex literally showed up that night in the rain yelling about how could I propose to her ( my fiancé) in front of our tree and that this isn’t the end of us.. I am completely exhausted at this point, I cannot go NC because she is the mother of my child but she is basically harassing me and my fiancé. How do I convince her to move on , to get over her fear of men and not force me to get a restraining order. Sorry it was long but I am really desperate. Edit : Wanted to ask a question to the insightful women of reddit , something that still bugs me to this day is the fact that she even made time for her ex who took pleasure in destroying her only for her to suffer a much worse fate. Is it normal for the abused to want the attention of the abuser even if she might hate him ( something my ex said once) Edit 2 : Forget to add this in the original post , when my fiancé presented me with the ring which she was gonna use to propose to me she had an engraving on the inner band which states “ to my pharaoh “ .Damn I love this woman. ​ [*OOP's response to a comment on ex's behavior being a coping mechanism*](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/is66hn/comment/g5t6l64/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ​ This is really insightful , she has told me she hates how she felt like she needed him at the time , how she knew it was destroying our marriage , destroying me and destroying her. She knew she didn’t love him ( was and still continues to be adamant about this fact) but he was like a sweet Poison she couldn’t stop drinking , like someone blindfolded her eyes a bit too tightly and pushed her into cold water. She said getting pregnant with our son was the best thing other than marrying me that has ever happened to her , it tore the blindfold off her eyes and seemingly woke her up ( so to speak). She realized she was still his prisoner and wanted nothing more than to be free of him and be the best mother and wife she could be. She said she was a fool for ever responding to his message when he reached out and wishes she could slap some sense into her younger self and scream at herself to run for the hills ( metaphorically speaking). ​ ​ # Discovered my wife’s (now ex) affair the day she was admitted into hospital , now years later she can’t accept my engagement to my fiancé.UPDATE (shout out to mama202045) ([LINK - survivinginfidelity](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/j56kmw/discovered_my_wifes_now_ex_affair_the_day_she_was/)) October 04, 2020 ​ Wow didn’t expect this type of response thank you all so much for your support and kind words both for me , my fiancé and my ex . It’s sad that my situation with my ex and her abusive past isn’t as uncommon as I thought , reading some of your similar cases really makes one almost lose hope but glad to see some people have recovered from them . Now for what has happened since my first post. First off a big thank you to user “mama202045” for your simple yet amazing advice saved us a lot of trouble. Now on to what has happened so far. Since my last post my son’s birthday was coming up and he told us he wanted to have a camp night for it. Now I must explain the boy absolutely loves the out doors . Everything from camping to hiking to even playing in rivers are his favorite and obviously due to the on going situation we cannot go to our usual spots , so I offered my back yard for it . Another request he had was for my ex to sleep over aswell , he wanted to imitate a scene from one of his kid adventure shows where both parents are sitting on either of the child and all three are roasting marshmallows on the campfire . Now I had absolutely no intention of denying my son’s birthday wishes but at the same time I couldn’t have my ex sleep in the same tent as me and my son , that would be far too disrespectful to my fiancé even though she said she understood , it was clear she wasn’t ok with it. My ex seemed to take advantage of this and kept saying how much she was looking forward to spending the night with her two men and even went as far as to buy a whole lot of camping equipment that would put Bear Grillz to shame. She was certainly trying to rub it in my fiancé’s face and wasn’t graceful about it either , I had to tell her to stop a couple of times but she only relented when I threatened to invite her sister. Ever since our divorce my ex has had a burning hatred for her sister , she (my ex) acknowledges her role in the destruction of our marriage but blames her sister for encouraging the affair and not safeguarding from her making choices that would ruin her’s but more importantly ( according to her) our life together , it’s gotten so bad that she refuses to let her sister spend any significant amount of time with our son which at one point caused my ex- SIL to have severe depression . My ex-SIL has been trying for years to reconcile with her sister but it just seems to get worse as time goes on , a redditor “ mama202045” offered me a simple and effective solution. She suggested I go out and purchase a multi-roomed tent that way my fiancé could be included, I wasted no time and immediately went out to get one . Of course my ex wasn’t too happy about that but was glad to be under the same roof as me . During the birthday celebration my son was on cloud 9 , he ran around the yard and pretended he was a great Explora discovering a new land . When evening came I made the fire and my ex provided the marshmallows , he excitingly sat between us and started roasting his marshmallow alongside us. What I didn’t expect was after we were done taking pictures and making s’more’s he handed my fiancé a stick and a marshmallow aswell and sat next to her to make his second s’more. It’s honestly a mystery how something this pure and perfect could come out of the absolute mess that was the relationship between me and my ex. My ex asked for a bit of my time to which I obliged , we stepped into the kitchen and she apologized for her behavior on the day that I proposed but not for her actions following that . She told me she still sees me as her husband in her mind so the thought of me giving my heart to another terrified her , she said she never wanted to cause me pain and would give anything to go back in time and undo her mistakes . She mentioned how happy she was when the paternity test showed that I was the father because she thought it was a new beginning for us and that he was proof our love . I thanked her for the courage to share all this but told her I was happy with where I was in life and with whom I was with but hoped she would find someone to make her happy aswell. She said she meant what she told on the day we divorced and will wait for me . I left the kitchen feeling exhausted because none of what I was trying to say got through to her , we decided to call it a night where me and my fiancé slept in one room of the tent and my ex with my son in another. All in all a good birthday for my son but not so good night for me . That’s things so far and promise to update if anything major happens. ​ ​ ​ \*\**if anyone is able to find the comment by mama202045 being referred to please help me out and I'll update the post.* \*\**OOP has not posted in almost 2 years* *\*\*Reminder - I am not the original poster* [Cake](https://i.imgur.com/Tal9xPv.jpg)

Wife wanted cake after eating it, husband (OOP) discovers it in unfortunate circumstances

REPOST

ShakeThatTushy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yynk54/wife_wanted_cake_after_eating_it_husband_oop/

yyo571

[Original boru post with the previous updates](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ye1gve/elementary_school_teacher_vs_billionaire_activist/) Summary of previous post: rich man buys trailer parks all over the country to profit off of the housing crisis, OOP's town was targeted and now her students are on the brink of homelessness because of it. She decides to fight this by campaigning throughout her town and getting the media to pay attention to her. Mood spoiler: >!very bleak, the rich guy is winning :(!< All posts are written by u/play987654321 [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidpol/comments/yjq483/fire_on_the_mountain/) Nov 1, 2022 I went back today to canvas the tenants at Massie’s with new Spanish/English Legal Aid pamphlets and an invitation to a tenant meeting this Saturday. The lawyer handling the case now will be there, and I want to give the tenants the opportunity to meet together to discuss their options. Do they want money to leave, or do they want to stay and fight? Apparently, Homes of America lawyered up, too, and hired some guy literally named Grimes Creasy. pynchon universe??? He seems to be reputable, but his frat boy son did rape someone at Ole Miss, and although he was convicted, he apparently never served a day in jail after his sentencing. The tenants I talked to today lived on the back side of the mountain. This particular hollow of trailers houses a lot of my students. Although all of the trailers in this section had received Notices to Quit, none of them have received formal evictions yet. This is a good sign, because today was the first of the month! If you were to look at the Notices to Quit, you would see that the laws the tenants were said to have been violating were all Michigan laws, so the document might not be valid at all in Virginia. I am wondering if Grimes Creasy saw what the trailer park was doing and told them they couldn’t evict anyone because the notices they were putting up were complete bullshit. I canvassed for three hours. I met an old woman named Velvet with some type of disease that made her neck go down to a 90 degree angle. She lived with her son and a hungry beagle dog. She showed me black mold in her trailer and she asked to give me a hug. I saw one mom living with two kids. She had holes in her walls and mold in her bedroom. She said her son, my student, was getting sick all the time and she wondered if it was because of the mold. One tenant told me his mom has lived there for 30 years and was getting the notices as well. He had bought a moving truck over today just in case he had gotten the eviction notice that never came. It was sitting in his front yard, surrounded by cats. I’ve been fielding calls from reporters because those posts went viral. I think tonight I talked to NBC nightly news and to a local (non-Alden) paper, Cardinal News. I’m supposed to get interviewed at 8am tomorrow, but I asked different parents I met if they wanted their kids to go on the news instead. I think they would make better TV than I would, plus then I can keep some degree of anonymity. I keep wondering why Alden Global speculated on this particular plot of land. Is money just changing hands? Did the university drive up land valuation that much? Are they betting on WWIII and want the land because it’s very close to the Radford Arsenal, where most US bullets are made? Did they find coal under the trailers? I wish I was more familiar with how the FIRE sector functions. All I know is this hedge fund does not care about these tenants. I am grateful that organizing seems to be working. I wanted to say thanks to the user here who contacted his childhood soccer coach (a lawyer!) to put me in touch personally with Legal Aid. I wanted to thank the user here who found a church who will host our tenants meeting, and who was kind enough to stay and help the pastor fold clothes to give away. I wanted to thank everyone who donated to Southwest Virginia Legal Aid, and to the users here who sent me money to print more fliers. It’s moving to get this much support from people I’ve never met. I hope the TV interview and the tenant meeting aren’t a bust. I’ll have to canvas everyday this week to hit all 174 tenants. I have a sinus infection, swallowing hurts, but at least I am familiar with enough tenants where I know where I can park so I don’t have to walk down the highway anymore. [Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidpol/comments/yknf3i/door_knocking_today_a_long_good_day/) Nov 2, 2022 I got to massie’s at 8am to meet with a TV news reporter from WDBJ7. I had "Tiny Tony" (TT) and his dad, a firefighter and ambulance driver, ready for the reporter to interview. They did great. When she asked him why he likes living here, he said he "liked his friends and going into the woods to dig holes." I did give an interview, I have no clue how it went because I was nervous and my bangs were poofy. I went to work. TT bragged on the playground that he was going to be famous. After work, I drove back to the park to start knocking on the road next to TT’s. While I was there, I got a phone call from NPR. I stood on the side of the road and explained what was going on, and while I was talking, a pickup screeched to a halt in front of me. TT was driving, on his dad’s lap. lol. He rolled the window down and asked if I needed help. I said no, I’m on the phone with a reporter, and his dad asked which reporter. I said NPR and he then asked me what that was, while the reporter was listening on the other end. For the next 2.5 hours, TT tagged along and went door knocking. Pretty much everyone on the back half of the park received the notices to quit. We knocked on other students’ doors, and they came out and followed along, too. TT wanted to take me on secret paths through the park, some of which I had to pass on because they required sliding down the steep mountainside on my bottom. I knocked on one door and there were two disabled people in wheelchairs, living without power. They had asked management to fix their electricity but nobody came to help. After this, at 5:30, a Roanoke Times reporter came and I introduced him to TT and his mom. Then a very sweet stupidpoler came and helped me doorknock. He’s ex-Mormon and has bad memories of canvassing, but I was glad he was there because this session went really well. He can probably attest that everyone we talked to was glad to see us and excited for the meeting Saturday. In two days, it took 6 hours, but I’ve now covered half the park with Legal Aid info and the flier for the upcoming tenant meeting. I don’t have an agenda for the meeting yet. The Legal Aid lawyer will speak, and then I’ll let tenants have 2 mins each to open mic their problems and ideas if they want. I might do breakout discussion groups. Since I got donations, I am going to buy a megaphone, and sign and banner materials, and see if the tenants want to meet us somewhere on the public roadside after the meeting is over to have a small demonstration. That’s only if the meeting has enough momentum. Sorry if I’m overposting. I kind of just wanted to tell you all that TT canvassed with me and about the two disabled people living in darkness because the new park owner— Tom Del Bosco from Alden Global Capital— is forcing them to live in the dark. [Update 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidpol/comments/yl3uzj/comment_from_a_tenant_at_massies/) Nov 3, 2022 The following is a picture of one of the trailer park resident's thoughts on what's happening. Here is a transcription: I live in Massies and am 65 disabled and on disability. I have my grandson living with me he is diabetic with a host of other medical problems. So the fear and anxiety I feel every minute of every day. Waking in the middle of the night only to set and worry how long will we have a place to live. I have no other family no help and no one to talk to. Whats the use of going on when people like Massie and the new owner exists in this world only to get richer. What is you dumbass think you gonna buy your way into heaven. Listen stupid it doesnt work like that and karma will get you in the end. Also, [this link](https://roanoke.com/news/local/ownership-takeover-of-montgomery-co-mobile-home-park-raises-issues/article_0685d1f0-5cbb-11ed-9874-8bcff868fc14.html) is the Roanoke Times article that OOP interviewed for. [Update 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidpol/comments/yo365z/an_update_about_the_tenant_meeting_at_aldens/) Nov 6, 2022 I spent last week canvassing for a tenant meeting at the trailer park Alden’s executives just bought, Massie’s. It took 15 hours total to hit all 174 units. A few of the days, I had kids following me around. Often, their houses were full of mold and holes. Some of their parents are dying. I think 20% of the park is vacant now. It’s apocalyptic. There’s eviction notices taped to doors, and when you peek inside the windows, there’s abandoned kid’s toys and mattresses. You ask a neighbor, and they will tell you the family just left in the middle of the night a few days ago. I was expecting anywhere from a dozen to 100 people. We got 58 tenants to the meeting. Some of my students were there. The meeting was in a beautiful church. Someone on this sub had coffee delivered, and the mother of a daycare student of mine brought water and power bars for the families. Legal Aid sent three lawyers and set up a paralegal in the lobby of the church to do intake directly. One lawyer told me this subreddit donated $3300, which— congrats— is the largest donation they’ve gotten over a single issue in their history. I had planned the meeting so that first Legal Aid would speak and then there would be breakout discussions so tenants could meet their neighbors and discuss what they wanted to do together. This was a mistake, I should have done the discussions first and then had Legal Aid talk because tenants were so frustrated and angry at the lawyers, they left. This is because the Virginia legal system is not designed in the favor of tenants. First off, lawyers can’t speak directly to the issues, but they can only give an overview of tenants rights. So people in the audience wanted to know about their leases, and we had to tell them they needed to sign up for Legal Aid first, which was easy enough but some tenants were legit angry, asking, "why am I here?" Secondly, Legal Aid can’t do a class action lawsuit on their behalf. The system is designed to treat this collective problem as an individual concern. Thirdly, while Legal Aid did a good job educating them about what landlords can and cannot do, they failed to tell tenants how to pull off tenant’s assertions— which is the legal way for tenants to make maintenance demands that have to be met before money can be put in escrow. Since people left before the group discussion, I didn’t have the opportunity to suggest militant extralegal actions, like a march on the park manager or a rent strike. I felt like a failure after the meeting, which was hard. But after some consideration, I think it wasn’t a failure and I felt that way because I’ve been so sick all week and I overworked. I met an 80 year old black Vietnam vet— a recent widow living in a trailer full of mold— heating himself with his oven because his heater broke. I believe he was extorted for more money than he owed, and he did pay it up to avoid eviction. I got him connected to Legal Aid. I met many pregnant women and young parents struggling to make rent on time. Their kids are always sick. Tiny Tony told me he wanted to pass out fliers with me, but first he had to make his mom, who just lost a leg, some easy mac. He had the worst trailer of them all. Over the summer, they lived in a tent in the yard. The situation is grim. Here’s how I know this wasn’t all a failure and we did something right. Another organizer told me I had probably canvassed enough and I could stop, but me and another poster went out yesterday morning to hit the last two streets of houses. While we were there, we met an older black woman, Jackie, who worked as a custodian at the hospital but had been injured on the job. She invited us in. She had been about to turn in the signed rule book to the manager, because she thought she had to, and I told her that she didn’t. If she had signed it, she could have been held financially responsible for painting and leveling her trailer. We connected her with Legal Aid over her eviction notices. She couldn’t drive, so I offered to take her to the meeting. At the meeting, she ended up being able to meet with her lawyer in person. She recorded all the info the lawyers told her, and she was frustrated the tenants didn’t want to talk together. At the end of the night, she gave me a hug with tears in her eyes and thanked God we had come to her door that morning. At the meeting, she and three other women decided they would work on a petition— basically, a collective tenant’s assertion— and since I have all the tenant’s contact info organized now, it will be easy to disseminate whatever they write. I am going to offer to write certified mail for tenants who need urgent repairs and regularly start visiting the elderly there. I’m also going to take classes so I can be a foster parent. None of this will tip the scales. Best case scenario, it stopped a few dozen people from being evicted. The tenants need to take a leap and organize themselves as a community against the evictions that are going to happen anyway, because some evictions will be carried out due to failure to pay. The tenants need to have the abusive park manager removed. I understand, too, why some tenants were mad at what limited help the lawyers could offer them. But knowing how the system works is pretty key in fighting against it, because it might cause you to realize your fight against it needs to be extralegal. As Rosa once wrote, you don’t know the weight of your chains until you start to move. Someone told me Alden has bought 400 parks, and this is the 401st. I do realize what I’ve seen in these past few weeks is happening all over America, not just Appalachia. I know I sound sad and like I’m throwing pasta on a wall to see if anything sticks. I want to encourage you as Marxists or people with any ounce of compassion in your hearts, to go to the mobile home parks near you and organize, try stuff I didn’t try, and talk to every person, because enough quantitative organizing will cause a leap in quality. And by quality, I do mean that one day, there will be a redneck revolt. It is not right that the richest men in America can extort the working poor for this much money while keeping their quality of life this terrible.

[NEW UPDATES]Elementary school teacher vs Billionaire: Activist OOP investigates and exposes a shady hedge fund manager that bought her students' trailer park and is forcing eviction upon the poor families by jacking up the rent.

NEW UPDATE

riverstyxoath

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yyo571/new_updateselementary_school_teacher_vs/

yyo9pl

*\*\*I am NOT OOP. Original post by* [*u/bathdub-mermaid*](https://www.reddit.com/user/bathdub-mermaid/) *in* [*r/TrueOffMyChest*](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/) ​ trigger warnings: >!lying?!< ​ mood spoilers: >!redditors were right, they break up!< ​ *\*\*TLDRs included by OOP* ​ ​ # Our rock solid relationship imploded in a single night and I’m completely blindsided [[LINK - TrueOffMyChest](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/y6b1df/our_rock_solid_relationship_imploded_in_a_single/)] - October 17, 2022 # My partner (25m) is my (26f) rock and I’m his. Literally he tells me that all the time including yesterday. We’ve been together for five years and have a truly wonderful relationship. Always talking, laughing, comfortable with one another. Able to communicate healthily even when we disagree. After surviving abuse as a child and struggling with unhealthy romantic relationships in the past, the fact that we love each other in a respectful, secure and profoundly healthy way is truly my biggest blessing and I wake up every day so happy and grateful for him. He is an incredible man with so much drive, intelligence, kindness, and gifts to give the world. About a year and a half ago it came up for the first time that we saw ourselves getting married one day. It was such a beautiful moment and it rocked my world to have been vulnerable, said those words, and have him say them too. Since then it’s been something incredibly happy that I get to hold in my heart and look forward to. The subject has come up sporadically since then but I haven’t wanted to push it too far since we are young and it is very much an “eventually” thing. Both of our parents are divorced and his come from money. He got a lot of strong advice growing up not to marry young and to protect his assets, to see it from a more financial view than I ever have thought of it. Nevertheless the thought makes me happy and we often daydream about the future we’ll build together: the little house in New Hampshire we hope to buy and the dogs and chickens we’ll have. These are conversations he participates in and brings up on his own all the time. I want to be able to talk casually about the marriage aspect, too - go to bed with a sleepy “can’t wait to marry you” or “love of my life” - but for some reason recently whenever the subject has come up he’s clammed up and made it feel really serious. This culminated maybe two months ago with a really weird conversation in which I sensed he might not have processed what “marriage” really means in the way that I had, and that he wasn’t ready to be talking about this in the way that I was or as much as he had let on. I told him I don’t want to put a gun to his head, this is just something that makes me happy to think about and talk about, and I tell him everything. I said I love him for him; I’d wait as long as he needs; but that I firmly didn’t want to bring up the subject again until he was comfortable discussing it. I wanted to relieve the pressure on him, and I haven’t mentioned it since. Well, yesterday we spent a really lovely day getting lunch and hiking with my family. They live far away so we don’t see them very often. My stepsister and her fiancé were there as well, and of course there was a little bit of light conversation about their upcoming wedding. My bf was his usual friendly, easygoing self. I noticed he seemed quiet on the way home and later that evening so I asked if he was worried about work but he just said he was tired from a long day traveling. I made him a drink, kissed him on the forehead like I always do and promised we could do whatever he wanted to relax that night. Just did what I normally do when I can tell he’s stressed, try to show empathy and take care of him. But then as I’m making dinner he comes over to me and drops this bomb. He came over to me crying and said spending time with an engaged couple and even barely talking about their wedding had sent him into a panic and he didn’t know if he could ever see himself getting married. I was completely blindsided. I tried to parse what he was saying but it was like my brain was stuck. Evidently he had been locking himself in his office at work all week crying about this. I kept asking him why he would say he wanted to marry me if he didn’t. He said he was lying, basically. That he wanted to give me what he knew I wanted to make me happy. I could only just stare at him open mouthed. I kept trying to pinpoint if he was saying to me, “I don’t think I’ll be ready to get married for a long time” or “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to get married” and I really don’t think he knows himself. I don’t think he has put any kind of mature thought into marriage at all. It was like talking to a scared child. He kept saying stuff about not knowing where his career will lead or if he’ll have money (he has a great job, an outstanding network, and is definitely not poor. Neither of us are) and I was just like. We’re a partnership. You wanted to be with me yesterday, you want to be with me today, do you want to be with me tomorrow? Yes, he said. I said well that’s all what matters, we have a life we love and we’ll take on the future together when it comes. I’m devastated. He left for his mother’s house and I don’t know when he’ll be home. I can not take another sleeping pill or my heart will stop but I can’t sleep a wink. I literally spiked a 100 degree fever and spent all night sweating and freezing. I had no idea it was possible to be in so much pain it makes you physically sick. This person is the bedrock of my life. We have ALWAYS had rock solid confidence that we can trust each other, be vulnerable around each other, and be our full authentic selves without inhibition or fear of judgment We share everything together and we are best friends. He even said that over and over as he sobbed and told me he loved me and that he didn’t want to get married. Hours ago I had the most beautiful and solid relationship in the world. Now I don’t know if we’re going to break up. I’m reeling. I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the back by my safe space. The earth fell out from under me and I don’t even know what to think any more. TLDR; my boyfriend of five years held in all his fears about marriage and commitment and they all exploded out at once, and now our amazing and healthy relationship could completely sink out of nowhere. ​ ​ # Update: My rock solid relationship imploded in a single night and I’m completely blindsided - October 29, 2022; [unddit link](https://www.unddit.com/r/relationships/comments/yh0pw1/update_my_rock_solid_relationship_imploded_in_a/) ​ Original post [here if you need it](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/y6atqf/our_rock_solid_relationship_imploded_in_a_single/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) I just want to say thank you to every person who commented. I was in an absolute state while writing my original post, and truly thought 8 people would see it. I read every comment. The kind and empathetic advice I received gave me a little bit of hope and peace as I waited, and that was basically the only reason I was able to eat lunch those first two days. I want to thank all of you for that. The long and short of it is, he left me. I called him the next day asking when he would come home - he’d told me he needed a day to think - but he was talking like we were broken up. I asked him to at least tell me we’re still together. He wouldn’t. So yeah. He just torched it in pretty much an instant. I had been leaning a lot on the kind words I received from folks who reassured me that one fight does not need to derail everything we’ve built over the last five years. I took the perspective that the question of marriage was something that we’d need to discuss seriously and hopefully through therapy to arrive at what both of us want. I had no idea he would just upend the table with no warning, without ever expressing his feelings or giving us the chance to address it with even a single conversation. So many of the comments I received revolved around the question, is not marrying him a dealbreaker for you? Would you be ok with simply a long term relationship? I don’t know. I would have to search my soul for that answer. But I didn’t even get the chance. He made that choice for me. Five beautiful years and he just fucking left. Needless to say, there were a million better ways to do this while honoring his fears and feelings while still showing me an ounce of respect as his partner and someone who loves him. This owed a conversation, and even if we still reached the same conclusion, I would understand. But this?It’s not what I deserve. I did see him one night and we have been texting. He said all of this awful stuff about how he was just trying to tell me everything I wanted to hear and how I wouldn’t like the person he really is underneath all of his people pleasing. He’s got a lot of this “don’t talk about it, just run” in his family, including in his parents relationships. My partner has always said he doesn’t respect this kind of behavior and talked vehemently about how his values are different. Then he just did the same thing. Although when I wrote my original post I wanted nothing more than to continue living our happy day to day together, but given this entire nightmare, space is the only thing that can do anything for either of us at this point. He has no idea what he’s feeling or how to talk about it in a healthy way. My dad had the simplest take and yet said it best: he’s immature. He needs to work on himself, and I hope he does. As for me, I’d be an idiot to still want to marry him knowing this is the kind of thing he’s capable of. So, we’ve got to break our lease. Apartment hunting while still reeling from this 180 flip of my life has been terrible. We moved to this city together, and pretty much every friend I have I met through him, so I’m really scared it will mean losing a lot of other people I love too. It’s going to be expensive and miserable to live on my own, and I’m still grieving my sweet love and the life I thought we were going to have together. I gave five years of my life and so much of myself to being one half of that partnership - I never wanted to be on my own again and now I am. I still love him, but I can’t wait around while he fixes himself, or pine foolishly hoping one day he’ll wake up and be ready for me. I don’t want to stand on my own two feet, but that’s just what I have to do. My question now is, how do I move on? If/when we do eventually talk, what can I even say? TLDR; He left and a lot of people were right, I didn’t have the relationship I thought I had. ​ ​ *\*\*There is a* [*post*](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/u88o86/i_saw_this_format_on_here_and_just_needed_to_use/) *OOP made in raisedbynarcissists referencing a boyfriend of 15 years but it is about her mother, not a boyfriend (*[*relevant comment*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/y6atqf/comment/ispji91/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)*)* *\*\*Reminder - I am not the original poster*

OOP sees herself marrying her partner of 5 years, partner doesn't

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ShakeThatTushy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yyo9pl/oop_sees_herself_marrying_her_partner_of_5_years/

yyq3q2

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/plastic-spat in r/amitheasshole** trigger warning: >!bodyshaming!< ---   [**AITA for pointing out that my sister is morbidly obese during an argument**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fv72sd/aita_for_pointing_out_that_my_sister_is_morbidly/) - 5 April 2020 I was born into a very unhealthy family. My siblings and I were all overweight by our teens. My siblings are now either obese or morbidly obese. As a teen, I lose weight and be mocked. I'd walk laps around our living room because I was too ashamed to walk out in public, ate a restricted diet that I thought was healthy at the time. When I lost a noticeable amount of weight (but was still overweight), parents threatened to force feed me, would make cow noises at me, made comments on my appearance, etc. I've spent the past several years trying to develop healthier habits, educated myself about nutrition, try to eat a balanced diet and live a more active lifestyle. My parents and siblings gossip about how I have an 'eating disorder' to people outside the family. My parents asked that I bring my two kids and stay with them to help out during isolation. My eldest sister and her five kids live with them. When I first came over, I started cooking for the whole household but they wanted what they're used to eating. So now I'm cooking for my kids and I and making whatever my parents want to eat. My sister has been making snide remarks about how how I'm trying to force them to be health freaks while I'm staying here. I do the shopping for the household and even just bringing home vegetables or fruit (apart from apples) is enough to get comments or rolled eyes. I've been out walking (permitted so long as we socially distance and don't congregate). If I don't manage to get out in the morning then I know there are more people out walking and don't want to risk it so I walk laps around the backyard instead (I track my steps and try to hit 10000 a day). I don't work out to avoid criticism. Walking around the yard upset my sister. She thought it was her responsibility to 'call out my eating disorder'. I'll be making my kids sick by walking laps around the yard and screw them up like me. My parents agreed that I was being stupid, no one goes to such 'extremes' in isolation. I asked them what else I should do with my free time then and they said to watch something on TV like a normal person. I told them that it was my choice. My sister started yelling at me about how it was their house, should listen to them and that I'm sick in the head. I got angry and told her I was finally healthy for the first time in my life and being in the house with her would probably make me sick. Then she said, "you think you're smart because you're skinny but you're still fucking stupid." So I said, "If I want health advice, I won't take it from someone who is morbidly obese." I know how much comments about weight can sting so I do feel guilty about it. At the same time, I don't feel like her putting my weight or habits under a microscope was fair either. AITA here? Verdict: NTA   [**Update in comments**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fv72sd/comment/fmjlyo4/) - 6 April 2020 UPDATE I don't know if editing my post is a good idea as there's character limit for posts on this sub. According to the rules, I should wait a few weeks for a follow up but I'm hoping to shove this whole incident out of sight and mind forever. Thank you to everyone for responding. I hoped I'd have a few opinions to help me decide if I was in the wrong and instead I got a few hundred, which is a lot to reply to individually. I packed our bags and was preparing to leave yesterday. My dad saw me and asked if I was really going and when I said yes he told me that I shouldn't abandon them because I don't know how to deal with my sister. I told him that if he is going to let her harass me then he isn't helping me to stay. He told me to stop being dramatic so I told him that I will apologise to her and stay if she apologises to me first. He laughed at me and said it wasn't going to happen, she doesn't apologise for how she deals with them either. My mum got upset (crying) when I was loading the car up and told me to stop being upset over small, stupid things, we're family, shit happens, it's not fair to make my sister responsible for all of them in this time of crisis, if anything happens to any of them or my sister's kids it'll be because I left. I started crying and she told me to just come inside and not do this to the kids (i.e take them away from their cousins). I told her my kids aren't staying somewhere that I'll be disrespected and bodyshamed. She told me I was being ridiculous and was bored and looking for an excuse to leave. The kids and I are back home now. I don't feel relieved yet, just a little guilty. The amount of posts, especially the ones telling me I'm TA and I suck if I stay, have reassured me that leaving is the best thing for everyone. The posts from people who themselves are overweight or obese were also helpful. I appreciate your perspectives and taking the time to share your stories. I don't believe I would have focused on her weight if she hadn't been so fixated on mine and in the moment it felt like the only way to get her to back off was to point out how ridiculous it was that she was trying to 'help' me when she herself is not focusing on her own health. It came out in a very pointedly hurtful way. She literally pulled her arm back to slap me and stopped herself and walked off crying and calling me a rude bitch. I don't feel good about what I said. I don't feel good about how she was treating me either or how it escalated this far but I didn't feel like I could say anything to make her stop until I did. To answer a few questions: Why did I come to stay with them? I live over an hour away and didn't want to be driving back and forth with my kids. My parents asked for my help. They and my sister are very anxious about the virus. I assumed that because I don't see them often and they reached out, they must have been desperate. My kids also liked the idea of spending time with their cousins and my partner is working OS atm. When I came to stay three weeks ago, grocery delivery services were being cancelled and/or orders weren't being delivered fully. Shelves were pretty bare but I'd shop at three different stores in the same complex to bring food home. This is easing up now so I don't feel so bad. Even though they're bullies? I (stupidly) assumed that because they asked for my help, they would be a bit grateful. They're not. They won't ever be. That much is obvious now. They don't care about how my sister's words have hurt me and I should know better by now. They taught her to be this way and now that they're not picking on me to the extent that they used to, they're enabling her to do it. And now I realise that I was too by staying. Do I have an eating disorder and is my sister actually overweight? I honestly don't believe I currently have an eating disorder though I do believe I did have one in my teens. I don't track calories and I don't weigh myself regularly. According to my last weight, my BMI was 22. My sister is morbidly obese and is on the waitlist for a knee replacement. I would hesitate to label her weight if there was no medical history there to back it up. I have two other siblings and they are either obese or morbidly obese by sight but I've never asked them. Why am I letting them insult/bully me? I was brushing it off most of the time from lack of a better coping mechanism. Retaliating or leaving didn't feel like good options at the time. I know that leaving will now paint me as the bad guy to friends and the rest of the extended family because I came to help and then gave up after insulting my sister. I'm not going to enjoy explaining this to people and losing respect for a lot of them in the process. TLDR: Kids and I went home and I didn't apologise.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for pointing out that my sister is morbidly obese during an argument?

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yyq3q2/aita_for_pointing_out_that_my_sister_is_morbidly/

yys92h

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/aitaglucosefather in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for publicly calling out the school nurse?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qho1gw/aita_for_publicly_calling_out_the_school_nurse/) - 28 October 2021 Me (34M), my daughter with type 1 diabetes (11F) My daughter has T1D, and has been diagnosed since she was 5. For the most part, she handles it like a champ, but she’s a kid. Sometimes it sucks. I don’t blame her when she’s upset about it. She’s gotten very good at managing how she’s feeling and speaking up when she feels off or wrong. That said, she’s 11, and the nurse and 2 of her block teachers are meant to supervise when she gives herself medication. We have a 504 plan in place at her school and have had it in place since diagnosis. I have conferences with teachers every year, and since she started at the middle school this year, her new nurse and administrative staff. I let my daughter speak her piece and let her feel heard. She’s struggled with non-school extracurricular before ignoring her concerns when she says she doesn’t feel good because she “looks fine”. This school year started the end of August and we met a week prior. I got a call Monday afternoon while I was at work saying that the school bus driver had to call the ambulance for my daughter on the way home because she fainted. My job is forty minutes away so I said I would meet them at the hospital. She was awake and chatting with her nurse when I got there. Her blood sugar had dropped very, very low while she was at school. She was feeling better and didn’t seem too bothered so I took her home once allowed and let her pick a movie to watch. Once the movie was over, I asked if she didn’t feel good at school. I needed to make sure she wasn’t ignoring her symptoms and had eaten lunch. She told me that she felt weird just before the end of the day, and checked her sugar with her teacher, who had sent her to the nurse when it was really low. When she told the nurse she needed glucagon, the nurse said no and she should take it at home when she gets there. At this point, I was raging. The nurse did not give her her medication AND THEN SENT HER TO THE BUS. The 504 plan in place has a stipulation that if her blood sugar is too low at the end of the day, she cannot take the bus home. The nurse is supposed to give her glucagon and I get called to pick her up/arrange someone to take her home. The bus drivers aren’t trained to know what to look for or to give her medication. I called the school Tuesday morning to arrange a meeting to talk about what happened. We scheduled it but it hasn’t happened yet. In the meantime, I went wild. Mile long Facebook post with pictures of the 504 and hospital bill and me ranting. It kind of took off and got a lot of attention. Last night, my siblings and coworkers started telling me maybe I went too far in making the post, specifically in my naming the nurse. It was shared in a couple of different pages on Facebook for our county and town, and a lot of people have been making comments on the school board’s social medias about the nurse. A lot of the outrage comes from other parents with kids on 504 or IEP plans. AITA for calling out the school/nurse? Verdict: NTA   [**UPDATE Nurse Call Out**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qse1a4/update_nurse_call_out/) - 12 November 2021 In short, the nurse was fired. She was reported to all necessary persons by myself and the school. My daughter is fine. She is in a new school. We’re reviewing her treatment and school plans with doctors. That day, my daughter’s last block teacher had gone to the nurse to check in on her because she knew her sugar was too low to go on the bus. She didn’t see my daughter there and asked the nurse who told the teacher she’d dismissed her to the bus. Internally, the teacher reported the nurse before I even knew what happened. My lawyer came to the meeting with me. The school was already in damage control mode and as apologetic as could be. They let me know the nurse was put on leave by the next morning. Their lawyer came with an offer to pay the medical bills. He talked about how they would be meeting with the Teacher’s Union so they could properly move forward with the nurse’s dismissal. My lawyer and I left and he said they were doing everything they could to not have me sue them. I chose not to sue so long as they covered the hospital bills and damages. For those who asked about glucagon injection without her passing out: that day, her vision went black, she was dizzy, and she was stumbling once in the nurse’s office. Other health things: She’s getting a CGM (and a phone. Regrettably I was not above bribing her). We’re revising her plan and talking to her new school about all of the changes. For those concerned about my using the nurse’s name: my lawyer had no concerns since her name was in multiple places associated with the school and her place of employment was on her own social media sites. Since during the meeting it was confirmed what happened with my daughter and what she’d told me was accurate, he didn’t think she would have any grounds to stand on if she wanted to pursue action against me. For those who commented I was TA for sharing my daughter’s info on Facebook: I have 50 friends who are majority family. I also always check with her when I post pictures and about what I share. That’s the easiest place for multiple people to get quick and/or big updates at once. Some of the older family members check Facebook more than their emails. You can be upset I shared this, but this system has worked for us. Family gets updates of what she’s okay with them all knowing. I didn’t think my Facebook could share my post but my privacy settings were open. That’s since been fixed. Also since a few asked: I am my daughter’s only parent. Her mother gave up all rights and no longer lives nearby, which is why she is not in the list of emergency contacts. For obvious reasons, I’m still upset about it all, but my daughter is acting as if nothing ever happened. She’s fitting in to her new school well and she’s as happy as ever.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for publicly calling out the school nurse?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yys92h/aita_for_publicly_calling_out_the_school_nurse/

yysle0

[removed]

TIFU OOP expected family to be pay for birthday dinner

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Standard-River-5629

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yysle0/tifu_oop_expected_family_to_be_pay_for_birthday/

yytfwd

[removed]

Former friend who called OOP a bad influence for being childfree just demanded today that OOP take in his family + 3 kids into their home.

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matrayzz

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yytfwd/former_friend_who_called_oop_a_bad_influence_for/

yyvrjo

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/overall_box in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**Wife[23F] is freaking out over my[27M] new female friend**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/bzat70/wife23f_is_freaking_out_over_my27m_new_female/) - 11 June 2019 Hello all, A little context, my wife has told me she gets along better with men, and generally prefers their company. We both moved to a new city when we got married, I was very lucky to have friends in the area. She did not. She made a new friend, we'll call Michael, after a coworker set up a "blind hangout" thing and a hike. As far as I know that's the only time they physically saw each other, but they kept in touch through Instagram ever since. That was about a year and a half ago. During that time, I've had a lot of problems with him. My wife and I have an open text policy, and the few times I've read what he's saying to her, I've gotten upset. Examples include: -He only refers to me as "boyfriend". Wife insists shes told him shes married, he just refuses to acknowledge. -He's expressed he has no interest in ever meeting me(She's defended this by saying he just hates Americans. I think he's Ukrainian.) -He's called my wife pretty, cute, heart emojis, that crap -He constantly asks her out for drinks and dinner, and always asks her to not bring me or tell me. -They both have deleted countless messages, and even comments on each others pictures. I've yelled and argued over his behavior to the point of exhaustion, I eventually just let it go and learned to coexist with his presence. My wife refuses to cut him out of her life, says nothing hes done is inappropriate and that even if it was, she doesn't like him so it shouldn't matter. I said all that so I can say this: I've never been allowed to have female friends. I recognized the hypocrisy but honestly didn't care much, I didn't have any female friends anyway. That changed recently, I met a girl I clicked with at an event and we've been texting loosely over the last few days. My wife went through my facebook messages and caught wind, and has since gotten extremely upset. To be clear, I've never cheated. The conversations were completely innocent, very "getting to know someone" kind of fluff. My wife told me to cut her out or she's getting a divorce. I thought this was silly, as I've been putting up with Michael for much, much longer. I kept trying to point out the double standard, but she just kept repeating how she didn't care, and her friendship with Michael was different because they'd known each other longer. Never mind they met the same way. The only viable thing I could think shes worried about is the fact I'll be seeing the new girl once a week, consistently for a few months, due to the nature of the event we attend. My wife has not seen Michael since they hung out once more than a year ago. They text constantly though. She knows everything thats going on in his life, every detail. She's admitted casually that he understands her better than anyone. We argued for a while, and I ended up getting really upset trying to show her how ridiculous the whole conversation was, that if she wanted me to have zero contact with any women except for her, I wanted the same from her. She went to bed promising to spend extra time with Michael and flipped me off. I admit I'm writing this pissed off, but I'm having a hard time feeling like an asshole. I genuinely don't believe I'm wrong. At all. Am I? Tl;dr: Wife wants me to stop talking to new female friend. She's had a male friend for over a year that crosses constant boundaries. She refuses to stop talking to him, and won't reason with me. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. **UPDATE(6/11):** Woke up to lots of feedback! I want to paint the most unbiased picture I can, so I'll try my best to paint the clearest picture below: They have always been kinda shady with their "friendship". I'm expected to hand my phone over weekly for my wife to go through and interrogate me, meanwhile I have to fight and pester to see hers in return. She won't just hand it over like I do. This kind of thing has been a problem for a long time, but I don't want to paint myself as a complete victim. I've thrown fits over a lot of the men in her life, to the point where It's probably my insecurity more then anything. She does a good job convincing me I'm always talking out of my ass and these guys aren't doing anything wrong, and I'm not letting her make any friends. That I'm controlling and want to keep her isolated. I've expressed a million times I would love her to find hobbies, friends, and interests outside of me. She has zero life outside of me and whatever boys shes texting. When shes not working shes on her phone, on social media. That's literally it. Anyway, there was a period where Michael had a girlfriend, much to my wifes dismay. My wife used to slam this girl that she didn't even know. Say awful things, hope she dies, expressed no desire to ever meet her, would openly tell me how much she missed Michael. According to her, the deleted texts were Michael's doing, and he did that because HIS girlfriend was getting upset over how he treated my wife. He was covering his own ass because his own girlfriend thought he was crossing boundaries. Unreal. They broke up. Just a few weeks ago, actually. According to my wife she dumped him because she got done spending all his money, and was done using him. I suspect its because of my wife, he probably refused to change his behavior so his girlfriend ran for the hills. In the past whenever I've tried to argue against Michael and basically BEG her to get rid of him, she insisted that she just wants friends. Shes lonely. She doesn't believe Michael thinks about her like that. He's just joking. I'll admit I'm getting some kind of vindictive pleasure feeding her her own medicine, but I never win these wars of attrition. I crave peace in my house and usually always fold first just to make things return to a normalcy. Reading over all the comments I realize I've been a giant pussy and should have put boundaries down, but I worry that time has long since past. It's difficult for people to relearn how to treat you. The fight we're currently in won't end until I cut all contact with my friend. She will not stop talking to Michael, this is the 11,000th fight over the subject, I know that isn't going to change. I'm having a hard time justifying if the fighting is even worth it. It's going to days, if not weeks of crying, ice-cold shouldering, taunting me with Michael, taking slutty pictures on Instagram, etc. until I break and give up. I always last until the tears, I just can't handle her crying. Shit drives me nuts. In any case I think I'm just going to dig my heels in with this and see how bad it gets. I'm coming to realize if its not this, it'll just be something else. It's only been a few years, and marriage is meant to be forever, but I'm exhausted. She's incredible at gaslighting and manipulation, and I feel like I've done a horrible thing by talking to this other girl. I feel like I've betrayed my wife and I'm causing her pain, but I need to remember she's been doing this with Michael for a long time, and she doesn't seem to give a fuck, so why should I? **Update 2:** So I think we might really be getting a divorce. First thing she texted me after the fight was: "Your really disrespectful. You can continue to not care as always.". I sent a really long message about how she finds my friendship with new girl disrespectful, fine. I told her I found her friendship with Michael disrespectful, for all the reasons listed above. She told me she needs him in her life for the times when I'm not there, like now. That was about the stupidest shit I've ever heard and I'm pretty done with all of this. It's been a long, long time coming. I want my life back. I just don't need this shit. She told me she doesn't care if I run away with new girl, that I should just leave her and how I'm a coward and I never cared. I told her if she'd really rather leave me then cut the other guy out, so be it. she's his problem now. Good luck dude. She went on to say she doesn't care if I have a million girlfriends, I can fuck all of them, how dare I disrespect her like this and she "wants me the fuck out of her life". I guess now I need to figure out where I'm going to go. None of my friends have a couch, I don't have much money. We have a good 8 months left on our lease. Hmmm. **Update 3(6/12):** So we had a talk last night, I was trying to avoid her because I just didn't want to deal with this and I wanted to think. She relented and said I'm allowed to have female friends, she just wants to stop fighting. I didn't cave. I kept pressing and said "This is about Michael. This is about your emotional affair." She seemed like she didn't know what that word meant and after looking it up, laughed and said that's completely insane. She said Michael is her only friend she has, she wants him to be her best friend, and that her finding comfort in him when we have problems is no different then me finding comfort from my friends, which I've done. I can't help but feel like she has a point, but there must be some difference between friends and whatever the fuck Michael is trying to be. I cannot convince her she's having an emotional affair, her words "How can you know what I'm feeling. Your making accusations based off assumptions.". I suggested we take the problem to ONE couples counseling session, just to help get a definition of emotional cheating. She shot that down, insisting shes too lazy to bother. I told her I'm asking her for one thing, if this could be the one thing that saves the marriage. She says she thinks I should go, but she has zero interest in going. She has zero interest in changing anything, shes completely convinced she's done nothing wrong. She even continued to say she thinks Michael is her only friend, and hopefully soon her best friend. Her big argument was I want to take her one and only friend away, that I freak out over every man in her life(which is true, I struggle with insecurity) and if its not Michael it will just be someone else. She doesn't want to make any other friends, she doesn't want to meet anyone else. She insists I've never seen proof of Michael openly flirting or wanting her sexually, which to an extent is true...I've never seen texts of him outright saying it, but I still feel like he's crossing a serious line. She insists all she meant with the "I need him when your not around" comment is the same as me needing my friends when we fight. My head is all fucked up right now. I'm feeling like an asshole, but I still feel justified. I don't want to cave on this. I don't even know what my outcome is anymore though, I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve with the fighting. I feel like if I win and she cuts Michael out it will be for the completely wrong reasons, and the victory will be bitter and hollow.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

Wife[23F] is freaking out over my[27M] new female friend

INCONCLUSIVE

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yyvrjo/wife23f_is_freaking_out_over_my27m_new_female/

yywki5

DNA solves a family mystery: John R Raney -> James Phillip Rusconi

CONCLUDED

FlipDaly

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yywki5/dna_solves_a_family_mystery_john_r_raney_james/

yyx27r

[removed]

My evil teenage cousin is making troubles for me

INCONCLUSIVE

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yyx27r/my_evil_teenage_cousin_is_making_troubles_for_me/

yyzsa5

**I am NOT OP. [Original post] https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y0khaq/aita_for_very_politely_and_with_love_declining_a/ by u/WorldAncient7852 in r/AmItheAsshole** trigger warnings: >!classism!< mood spoilers: >!kinda happy?!< ---   **AITA for very politely and with love declining a friends wedding invitation because she very specifically invited me but not my partner?** - October 10 2022 Background is I have known my friend for at least 12 years, supported her through health problems and a marriage breakdown, she's been there when I've needed it too, we've seen off some tough times together and and I and have loved her dearly through it all. Last year she met a new man and they're getting married soon and of course, I couldn't be happier for her. He's lovely, very clever, very kind and he's crazy about her. This isn't the first wedding for either of them and he's quite well off, so they're having something of a posh but small-ish wedding ceremony where his family is and a reception here where she lives, all very exciting. Which makes my question all the more awkward. She's very specifically invited me but not my partner to the wedding reception. I've spoken to the few friends we have in common and they've all had partners included - one husband that's going has never met her. Which means if I did go, I'd be on my own all day. She and my OH have never fallen out and while I guess he might not be her favourite person in the world, he is mine. He's not all that posh and yes, they're very different people, but not to put too fine point on it, that didn't seem to matter much when furniture needed moving or cars needed checking out before buying. But when it comes to a reception in a very posh hotel, it seems to be a thing. She sent an invitation through with a covering note saying numbers were limited, the invitation is just for me and she hopes he understands. I didn't show it to him, that just seemed unnecessarily hurtful. So I wrote her what I thought was a very loving letter, saying that I won't be there with her on the day, that I totally understand that numbers are limited but that I'm very happy for her and will be thinking of her on the day I can't wait to hear all about it. I suggested we have a nice long lunch after the event and she can tell me every detail. I've just come home to find the letter back through the letter box, torn into pieces. Have I been an asshole? Should I have just accepted the invitation and smiled?   **UPDATE IN SAME LINK** - 12 Oct 2022 UPDATE She’s just called in tears. Apparently his (very, they’re 30 odd) adult children and much of his family have refused to come to the London thing, long story but they don’t approve of the swift wedding and it’s causing enormous pain to them both, which I understand. She apologised profusely for tearing up my letter and says she acted so awfully because she’s so stressed and upset and is very ashamed of herself. She got a few refusals today and apparently mine was something of a lightning rod for her emotions, that’s why she did what she did. I’m so grateful to you all for your thoughts, because I’d hashed it all out here I was able to be calm and just listen. My partner wasn’t in the least bit offended at not being invited in the end and her excuse for not inviting him was that she thought he wouldn’t be comfortable. That still sticks with me a little bit for some reason but I’m letting it go. She’s says he’s more than welcome if he’d like to come (yes I am ignoring the fact that he’s clearly a space filler now) and we’re probably going because I don’t want to add to her distress but I’ll talk to him when he wakes up. **MORNING UPDATE** I've had a very long talk with my partner. He thinks we should go, keep the peace and be happy for her. He thinks she'll have have another drama about something else soon enough and I think he makes a good point. I won't mention the ripped up letter to anyone, or the invite upset, we're just going to pretend it never happened. He reserves the right to tell her that he's coming in a dinosaur costume though and I think that's fair (he won't actually do it, obviously). I'm not keen to lose a friend and I'll try not to, but I probably won't rely on her quite as much as I have in the past. Thank you all for your comments, it's been really helpful to talk this out.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for very politely and with love declining a friends wedding invitation because she very specifically invited me but not my partner?

CONCLUDED

Ffnorde

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yyzsa5/aita_for_very_politely_and_with_love_declining_a/

yz00yp

\**I am NOT OOP. Original post by* [u/idiotrichboyfriend/](https://www.reddit.com/user/idiotrichboyfriend/) in r/AmItheAsshole [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ycqv7x/aita_for_moving_out_because_i_dont_want_to_help/) **10/26/22** My boyfriend(26M) and I(24F) have been together for 3 years. We live in NYC and he makes over $200k/year, while I’m studying for my masters in social work and have no income. Right now I’m doing an unpaid, yearlong internship 3 days/week, as well as classes 2 days/week. It’s rare to get a paid internship in social work, plus internships are mandatory. I spend 12 hours everyday either working, studying, commuting, or in class. My only free days are on weekends so I have no time for a paid job. My mom helps me financially by paying for my metrocard and healthcare expenses, but everything else I rely on loans. Before I moved in with my boyfriend there was a roach infestation in my apartment so I'd stay over at his place a lot. My lease was ending soon so he asked me if I wanted to live with him. At first I joked with him that his living standards would go down since I can’t afford a nice place, but he insisted on paying the rent until I finish grad school, then we would split the rent based on income. I originally wanted to live in a cheaper place in Queens or Brooklyn, but my boyfriend likes his current place and insisted I move in since he would be the one paying the rent. So I moved into his $5k/month luxury condo in the city this August. All of a sudden my boyfriend recently started asking me to pay half the rent ($2.5k/month). I was confused because he was the one who wanted to pay the rent in full. Apparently he was talking to his friends and they all think its weird that I don’t pay rent and that I was a gold digger. I let my boyfriend know that I can’t afford $2.5k/month and he said I was “leeching” off of him, so I told him that he should find someone within his social class so he doesn’t have to worry about a gold digger like me leeching off of him. I stayed at my friends place for a few days while figuring out what to do. I called my mom about my situation and she is willing to help me out but the maximum she can afford for rent is $800. I found some places in Queens within the price range, less than 15 min away from the city and a bus ride away from my school so I went to check them out a couple days ago. I’ve been texting the landlord and my new roommates and I already signed the lease. I told my boyfriend about my new place and he got upset and asked me to stay. He said that he was willing to accept $800/month instead of $2.5k/month if thats all I can afford, but I told him I don’t want him changing his mind again and demanding more money from me in the future. He lived in this condo alone for several years so it’s not like he can’t afford to live there without my help. I wouldn’t mind splitting rent with him, but I would have to live in a more affordable place outside of Manhattan like I originally wanted. Apparently some of our “mutual friends” think I’m being unreasonable for moving out instead of talking to him and staying by paying the amount I can afford in rent, and that I shouldn’t have let him pay my portion of the rent. **UPDATES within original post** ***update:*** yes i did dump him. i blocked him and his idiot friends on everything. My friends also blocked him since he tried to contact me through them. i'm going to enjoy being single and never relying on a man financially ever again. ***update #2:*** i'm going to make a few clarifications since a lot of you are confused and clearly aren't familiar with NYC. 1. yes, it is possible to find a room for $800 in queens when you have several roommates. but my room is small as shit, has no AC (which obviously isn't an issue now but will be in the summer) and is above a restaurant which means i'll probably have rodent roomies (my current roommate told me that they did have a rat problem in the past but it's supposedly fixed. However, knowing these mutant city rats i know they'll come back), but this is the best i can do for now. I'm not some new, bright eyed transplant who thinks NYC is only the trendy and rich parts of manhattan so i know where to look. 2. In general, NYC landlords have a 40x rent rule. Landlords that accept guarantors follow the 80x rule, but some landlords are more lenient when it comes to students. My landlord's son is also an alumni of the school I'm currently attending and is from the same cultural/ethnic background as me which probably gave me some leverage, along with the fact that my mom meets the 80x requirement. It also took me a week to find my current place. 3. I just started my 2-year MSW program this September. I finished undergrad 2.5 years ago and worked full time before starting my masters degree. So yes, I did have a job and paid my own rent (which was $1,025/month for a roach infested apartment in queens that i shared with a roommate.) I obviously don't have time to work now due to my schedule. My place was not rent stabilized (I'm confused as to how some of you came to this conclusion) it was cheap because it was a shitty place and no one wants to live there. 4. Yes, my ex does make that much money. It's NYC, he's been in the workforce for 5 years and people here make more money than they would in whatever town you're from, especially in his field. It was initially shocking to me that someone with just a bachelors could earn that much while contributing absolutely nothing to society but that's life. There's a 3,000 character limit so it's hard to include everything. My original post got deleted since i exceeded the limit and i had to delete a lot of information to get this post approved. The last thing i need right now is non NYCers from the rest of bumfuck America trying to have some sort of weird gotcha moment because they think sex and the city and rich transplants on social media is representative of the real NYC. ​ **Reminder - I am not the original poster.** *\*\* Good riddance! What an idiot.*

AITA for moving out because I don’t want to help my bf out with the rent?

CONCLUDED

Cheeseballfondue

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz00yp/aita_for_moving_out_because_i_dont_want_to_help/

yz2yk8

*\*\* I am not OP. This is a long one and half his family sucks. I fixed some of the spelling to make it less distracting.* \*\* *A* [*commenter in the chat*](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/yptcr4/comment/ivnvoyy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) *clarified with OOP that by 'demmand', at least when he's "demanding" from her, he's talking about a lawsuit* ​ **Posted 2 months ago, September 2022. \[**[Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/xk9jpi/my_ex_demmanded_me_for_child_support_for_a_kid/)**\] by** [u/a\_confusedperson](https://www.reddit.com/user/a_confusedperson/) **in** r/EntitledPeople Some years ago, I dated a girl, the relationship was bad, she was very controlling and abusive, it ended up really bad and we broke up. I kept going on with my life, and after some years I got a decent job, enough to solve all my needs, have a comfortable life and make some savings. The thing is, a couple months after getting my job, my ex contacted me,she first asked me to talk, I believed that she may want to reconnect or something, but she showed up with a 5 year old child, claiming he was my son and demanding for child support. I didn't believed her, but the child age matched the time since we cutted contact. I got advice from a lawyer (a friend of mine) to try to solve this out of the court. I offered to take responsibility, pay all the costs and being an active part of the kid's life, only after making a DNA test. Everyone was ok with this except for my ex. She acted offended and demanded to "just give her the money she deserved". She used all the excuses she could, even contacted my family to told them I was trying to avoid taking responsibility of her child. When she run out of excuses, and the DNA test was finally made, and SURPRISE! I'm not the father. She was so mad with the result, and cried about the money, saying it was unfair and she deserved it. But she didn't acomplished anything. Moving on to the last week, there was a little party on my parents house. My brother, a friend and I were talking, and my brother started to joke about the situation with my ex. My friend and I started to joke about it too, some of our comments were a little dark and bad, but we were far away from the rest of the people (literally we were on the opposite side of the house), and nobody else could hear us, at least that was what we thought. We were laughing like crazies when my sister appeared very angry and pushed me against the wall. She spyed us and heard our conversation and she was really mad. She started to yell at us about how horrible people we were for being mocking of a poor woman. Few hours later, when the party ended, she asked me to go to the kitchen with our parents, and she started to say how awful I was for the previous situation. Apparently, my ex had been in contact with her, and she believed her version, and that was her way to have an "intervention". My brother and I were like "Are you serious?" when she started to say how I "forced my ex into be a single mother" and that "I have the moral obligation to help her". My dad only said that we maybe were being too cruel making jokes of her, but that I wasn't responsible for that kid. My mom then surprised all of us when she said "even if the kid is not yours, you are making more than enough money to support that child, you should had helped her". Since then, i had been receiving texts, my dad and my brother are on my side, saying I'm not responsible for her, but my sister is telling me how horrible i am for being ruining their lifes. My mom only said "its your decision and I respect it, I'm just very disappointed that you ended up being so selfish". I'm aware that she doesn't deserve my money and I'm not planning to give her any, but the constant harassment of my sister trying to guilt me, its just exhausting. ​ [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/yptcr4/update_my_ex_demmanded_me_for_child_support_for_a/)**- 11/8/22** Its been a while. After my last post, I read all the comments, and decided to show them to my mother. We had a talk about the situation. Again, she started on my ex's side, but after reading the post and all the comments and opinions, she realized she was wrong. I think the thing that hurted her the most was all the doubts about if she cheat on my dad and I wasn't his son, and if that was the reason if she was on her side. We had a very long conversation. She told me that she believed my ex because "she was always so nice and kind with her, that she decided to don't believe me when I told her all the things she did to me during the relationship, because a good girl like her could never do something like that, so, I must be lying". After that, she apologize to me. We are good now. On the other side, my sister... At first she decided that she wouldn't talk to my until "I'll take responsibility", but after some days I talked with her. She is totally on her side, even after showing her everything, she said that none of that matter, because "a woman's word go first, and that's all the proof anyone could need". Also, she said that "even if you are not the biological father, you have an effective responsibility with her, so, you must be man enough to take charge of them and start acting like a real man". She was a lost cause. About my ex. I did some research, and I found out that, shortly after we broke she started dating another guy (or maybe she was cheating me with him before, I'm not sure). They broke some weeks later, and she had multiple dates until she found she was pregnant. I also found that she had been trying to "find a father to her kid" for the last 2 years, and I was the next on the list, but looks like she is desperate now, because she was never that aggressive with any other one before. Now, the reason of this post. Some days ago, my ex and my sister came to my workplace. They made a big sign with my face, that says "he abandoned his child" and "irresponsible father", and started a drama, saying all their bullshit. Their intention was to shame me and use the social presion to force me to take charge of them (they literally said it). To don't make the story too long, they were taken out of the place. I got problems for that scandal, even after showing all the proofs and legal documents that showed they were lying, I was earned that this better never happen again or I'll be fired. After that I contacted my friend, the lawyer, and we are now redacting a very long a detailed paper against them (my ex and my sister too). They were too far, now I'm going against them with everything. Maybe that scare them enough to leave me alone ​ **And since it's so inexplicable that they're supporting the abusive ex, here's OP's assessment of why mom and sister are on ex's side:** [Sister](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/xk9jpi/comment/ipen49o/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3): Actually that was one of the few things my sister say to me about why she was defending her. "She is a woman and we must support each other " [Sister](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xh0144/comment/ioux9ba/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3): She think that, as a man, i should take responsability of her because i have better incomes than her, and as we used to date, i owe her that, even if im not the father [Mom](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/xk9jpi/comment/ipekd8u/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3): *In response to a comment that maybe she wanted a grandchild:* "Maybe, she had been asking me and my brother for grandchildren since some years ago" ​ **Status: Ongoing - hopefully OOP will post the results of the legal maneuverings.** *OOP says in comments that he and his lawyer are pursuing fraud in addition to defamation and a restraining order.* *Reminder: I am not the original poster*

My ex demmanded me for child support for a kid that is not mine, my mother and sister are on their side.

ONGOING

Cheeseballfondue

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz2yk8/my_ex_demmanded_me_for_child_support_for_a_kid/

yz5ew4

[removed]

Australia vs England ODI Match today. Stay with us to know more about the match updateIGHCALIVE.COM

NEW UPDATE

goldenhandbhai

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz5ew4/australia_vs_england_odi_match_today_stay_with_us/

yz5uky

[removed]

AITA for not being able to forgive my dad and being cold towards the rest of the family?

ONGOING

DissapointedWithLife

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz5uky/aita_for_not_being_able_to_forgive_my_dad_and/

yz7ya7

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/eldenringstabbyguy in r/QAnonCasualties** ---   [**Blocking OANN+Alt right news on router?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/u30r4m/blocking_oannalt_right_news_on_router/) - April 13 2022 Hi all. I am also a victim of this dumb cult shit. I don't know if this is allowed but don't know where to post it. This garbage makes my parents more violent and willing to abuse their own family members and do irrational things. They act like drug addicts when it's blocked, but I feel removing the source as psychiatrists say is the solution, because kindness, understanding, and logic/sources just don't work. Don't worry I intend to cut them off eventually, but right now, I'm stuck. So does anyone know how to block OANN on streaming tv? I know their TV is a Roku, and blocking www.OANN.com in the router parental control side failed for some reason for OANN, as did blocking the OANN router channel URL. I've got a Linksys router. I don't know if OANN news has some way to get around this or something. I can't directly do it from the Roku tv, that will seem too suspicious. Or is there a better subreddit to ask? Thanks, I find this place to be a comfort.   [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/uitrqb/update_blocking_oann_news_in_my_parents_router_it/) - May 5 2022 So my post here was about how I tried to block my parents from all the alt right news garbage on the router. And I have to say it's been fairly successful and I recommend it, if you think your individual situation allows it. I appreciate the help and support I've had here in this thread as I couldn't stand them literally being lied to about reality itself, which is what this garbage is meant to do to our democracy. So, some of you were also right though: It went predictably as ever. They raged like a typical drug addict would (my mom has a history of that) scrambling everywhere in their power to get to the conspiracies on any website they could get their hands on, but I eavesdropped on what they were listening to and blocked those, too. I blocked the shit out of Fox, Newsmax, Right Side Broadcasting Network (RSBN), Rumble, Twitter or whatever I could find them sneaking on to or even Youtube if it wasn't dog videos algorithms. They blamed the "deep state" on blocking it. I blamed the weather or made up excuses. They scrambled desperately and constantly to try to view Trump's rallies, and literally would spend THE ENTIRE DAY trying to do this. It...was really weird to watch. Their mobile phones got around some of it, which was incredibly annoying, but eventually their data hilariously ran out. But! As time has gone on, their views are less nazi-like, and they may be coming to their senses somewhat. I'm overall not regretting it, and it was worth blocking them from stuff that is literally lying, encouraging them to do harmful things, etc. which they have participated in doing to both themselves and others. And my mental sanity of not hearing that shit 24/7 has returned. I have also written to Roku and Amazon and told them to stop putting OANN news and Fox news and Newxmax app on their devices. I'm tired of what this shit is doing to our families. So, not sure if this is the update you want or not. Beware that they may rage around at first, but if they have no reason to suspect you then, you should be fine. I would even create some kind of cop out for why the internet may not be "working" ( they think the entire internet isn't working even though the rest is fine, because that's literally all they do!) They eventually went back to watching normal things on TV like on streaming movies etc. I was relieved. So, that's literally it. I think I'll just hang out here for the general catharsis, but I owe you guys a lot.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

Victim of QAnon asks how to block alt right news on his parents' devices

CONCLUDED

bigbluesandwich

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yz7ya7/victim_of_qanon_asks_how_to_block_alt_right_news/

yzcebh

[removed]

TIFU by not being intimate with my partner

CONCLUDED

FactCore01

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzcebh/tifu_by_not_being_intimate_with_my_partner/

yzft10

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwra8653568 in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**Just found out my (23M) best friend (23M) has been secretly dating my ex (24F) for months**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/i32pxe/just_found_out_my_23m_best_friend_23m_has_been/) - 3 August 2020 Throwaway because I use my main for gaming subs and don’t want this on my history Cassie and I were together for 5 years. We started dating in high school and stayed together through college, moved in together after graduation. I’ve been in love with her since before our first date. She’s amazing. I still think so. We were talking about marriage and starting a family soon. Then one day a few months ago Cassie wanted to “talk,” sat me down, and said she decided she doesn’t want kids. She didn’t just mean not now but not ever. She talked a lot about overpopulation or climate change or whatever but I was just immediately depressed. I’ve always wanted to be a dad. My dad was a piece of shit and this is something I’ve wanted to do ever since I was still a kid myself. When she finished talking I told her it was over. She started crying and I was already crying, but fuck. If she doesn’t want the same thing I do from the future what else can I do? She said she’s been thinking this way for years and corona was the last straw. I’m not going to wait around and hope she changes her mind when she might not. So I moved out and moved in with my best friend “Ryan”. We’ve been friends forever, like we bonded over Pokemon cards at the playground kind of thing. He’s basically my brother and his mom was my extra mom since I didn’t have much at home growing up. I was in a hurry to move out so I didn’t take much stuff with me, and then I didn’t want to go back to the apartment and see Cassie, so Ryan was doing the good friend thing and going to get stuff for me whenever I needed it. At least that’s what I thought he was doing. Yesterday would have been me and Cassie’s 6th anniversary and it was really rough for me, so I told Ryan I didn’t want to be alone and wanted to hang out and game all day with him. He agreed and everything, but he was kind of distracted on his phone a lot, and after a couple hours he said “something came up” and just left me there alone. Shit got dark. I’m not ashamed to say I cried. There were reasons I didn’t want to be alone that day. Almost midnight last night, Ryan finally came home and was acting weird so I asked what was up. I thought maybe his mom was sick or something, she’s a teacher at a school that just reopened. But no Ryan sits me down and tells me he’s moving out. He’s been secretly dating Cassie since a few weeks after we split. He says they’re in love already and that she needs him more than I do, so he’s moving into the apartment with her and leaving me here alone to rot. I don’t even know how the fuck to process this. I don’t know which one of them has broken me more. To make things worse I messaged some of our other friends this morning to tell them what’s up and they already knew. When I got upset they all said it was “no big deal” because I’m the one who broke up with Cassie. Where do I even go from here? I can’t talk to my friends, my ex broke my heart, my best friend stomped on it, and the closest thing I have to family is gone because they were his family too. I’m lost and don’t know where else to turn. UPDATE: bigger shit to worry about than my broken heart i guess. ryan texted me. i'm about to be homeless in a pandemic Update2: thanks so much to everyone reaching out. my inbox is blowing up but i'm kinda focused on this housing thing first. i'll catch up when i can. sorry.   [**UPDATE: Just found out my (23M) best friend (23M) has been secretly dating my ex (24F) for months**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ih3qov/update_just_found_out_my_23m_best_friend_23m_has/) - 26 August 2020 I kind of debated if I’d post an update on this or not. It’s been a few weeks and some stuff has happened, but as the post blew up I got a good number of really shitty comments that informed me I was a worthless piece of shit, that I should beat up my ex girlfriend, or alternately that I was probably already some kind of horrible abuser who hated her and wanted to control her body. I also got a ton of love, support, PMs offering connections on housing, and more, but being I was already in a dark and desperate place, those other comments really twisted the knife. I had to spend some time away not just fixing my shit but also avoiding that stuff, because it was really not making me want to move forward. For anyone who’s reading this while in the middle of a situation, wondering if you should post your story, my advice is: don’t. Wait till you have some distance, or it’s just going to make things worse. One thing I want to clarify here, since a few people swung for the fences based on what I posted: I don’t hate Cassie. I don’t think she shouldn’t move on. I don’t blame her for dating someone else after I broke up with her. I do have a lot of anger still thinking about this. All that anger is at Ryan. That’s it. Ryan is the one who lied to me and went behind my back, not Cassie. My post pretty clearly stated that I think Cassie is an awesome human being. Still think so. Period. We just wanted different things. So, actual updates. Shortly after I posted, Ryan texted me to say that he’d planned to give me a month to find somewhere else to live, but since I “couldn’t be happy for them” he wanted me out by Friday. Looking back on it, I kinda think this was his plan all along. Cassie’s parents own the apartment I lived in with her, so we paid bills on it but no rent. Ryan’s apartment was expensive and his parents still paid some of his bills there, so I suspect he was looking for an excuse to break his lease and get in on that free rent instead. But **I have a place to live now**. Reddit helped me out after all, in a weird way. A couple days after I posted, this guy TJ hit me up on FB (hey TJ) with the link to my post asking if it was me. TJ and I weren’t close friends before all this, but he recognized some of the details. Skipping some back and forth, it turns out Ryan lied to all our mutual friends about the situation. Apparently he hooked up with Cassie the first time about a week after we split up. He asked some of our friends what to do and they all told him to make sure I was cool first thing. He then told them he had talked to me and that I was happy for him. So, when I started freaking out a couple months later, my friends all thought I was “going crazy out of nowhere” over something I’d known about for months. Once they found out what really happened, I got a lot of apology texts. Some of them I’ve accepted. Some are still on read. A couple of guys offered me crash space or help moving, and I wound up staying with TJ, but only till I could find somewhere else. My days of living in places without my name on a lease are over. Learned my lesson there. I found a roommate looking for a place through Craigslist and we signed the lease last week. Moving from TJ’s happens this weekend. Ryan is blocked out of my life. I probably forgot some of my stuff at either his place or Cassie’s, but it’s whatever. I can get new stuff. I can get new friends. More than anything else this situation made me realize the importance of having stable, independent housing and not counting on anyone else to do the right thing by me. I have to have my own back in life, not rely on others. That’s about all I’ve got. It’s nothing dramatic, I guess. No one was hit by a car, got pregnant, or turned out to be cheating. But I’ve never been so glad to have a roof over my head and a bed to come back to. I’m going to keep going from here, keep working on life, and I’m sure as hell going to be taking a break on the dating front. That’s all there is to do.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

Just found out my (23M) best friend (23M) has been secretly dating my ex (24F) for months

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzft10/just_found_out_my_23m_best_friend_23m_has_been/

yzhpxa

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/alarmingmonk in r/relationship_advice** trigger warning: >!bodyshaming!< ---   [**I (28M) with fiance (27F) about a month ago overheard her tell a friend her previous Ex was the best lover she ever had**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/a492j5/i_28m_with_fiance_27f_about_a_month_ago_overheard/) - 8 December 2018 It was quite by accident that I heard this. We had a group of our friends over and as the night went on we all kind of busted out into little groups. Some of us were in one room playing Texas Holdem and a couple of others were watching a Lord of the Ring marathon. I thought she was watching the movies but she and one of her close friends were actually sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking. Our group had run out of soda so I got up to go to the kitchen to get drinks and a couple of snacks. As I'm rounding the corner I hear my fiance talking and before I completely come in the room I hear her clearly say "Jason is great but he will never be the lover that Bill was" she then followed it up with "Its not really fair to Jason though, Bill was just really gifted down there". At first I thought about just walking back into the card game and pretending like we didn't have any extra soda or food but I decided to kind of make a noise and go in. Her friend caught eye of me rounding the corner and I could see her make a face to my fiance letting her know I was there. Of course she has no idea I heard her and she just stops talking to her and asks me how I'm doing and if I'm having fun. I was tempted to say something like "I'm having as much fun as someone who is not gifted down there can" but I didn't. I just said yes and proceeded to get my stuff and go back and finish the night. I just acted like nothing was wrong the rest of the night and went to bed. Needless to say it fucked me up. I mean fucked me up bad. I've never been jealous or what you would call insecure about myself until that moment. I couldn't sleep that night and I went through a myriad of emotions while laying there. At first I was angry. Then I was humiliated. Then I was depressed. Then I was angry again. Look I realize that the male ego seems stupid to women and even guys who are totally self assured. I would have agreed with most of this prior to that night but once it has been damaged it is a bitch. I tried to hide any form of emotion about it or ever let her know but as the days went on I just kept getting worse and worse. I was avoiding her at all costs and while she was suspicious she didn't really say anything. That is until she attempted to be intimate with me a few days later and I flat out rejected her. It wasn't by a conscious decision on my part by the way. I had made the decision on my own to just try and get over it and move on. But in the moment instead of being sexually aroused I felt deeply inadequate and ashamed. Nothing was happening no matter how much either of us tried. She asked me what was wrong and I just told her I must have been stressed from work but she would not believe that or let it go. So much to my humiliation there I laid, naked in bed, unable to get an erection. I came clean and told her what I heard. Well this did not go over well at all. At first she tried to tell me I did not hear her correctly. But I just repeated to her verbatim what she had told her friend. Well once she couldn't deny it she then tried to apologize and to her credit she tried to listen to my feelings on the matter. Which once again I am sure was more of a big turn off for her because I was a wreck emotionally. She tried to tell me how much of a better person I was and how I satisfied her and she wanted nobody else. But all I could hear was Charlie Browns teacher noise. It's been almost a month and I have zero desire to be with her sexually. None. She is now getting frustrated about this as well but no matter what I have tried I just can not get past this. It's not like she said we were both good lovers or anything like that. She clearly said he was far superior and my guess is that being gifted down there means he was significantly larger than me as well. Well I know I can do all kinds of things with my hands, tongue and whatever else. But no matter what I do I can't grow in size. Obviously she refuses to talk about that with me saying that no matter what she say's it will only make things worse because even if she say's something positive about me I won't believe her. She's most likely right. Some back story here. He dumped her. It was not a mutual breakup, he flat out dumped her and broke her heart. I know this because early on in our relationship she told me this. She said she wasn't ready to be serious about anybody because her previous ex left her and emotionally broke her. So this is not a case of me even being able to say "well she's with me because she wants to be". If he hadn't dumped her she would never have left him. Now I have no idea if after all of these years she would leave me for him if he would come back but I don't think she would. I just don't know what to do here. I can feel myself checking out of the relationship. I know this is petty as shit but hearing the person you love tell someone else they prefer to have sex with someone else is just devastating to me. Her telling me all of my other good qualities has only made it worse because she is saying things that I think appeal to her and maybe other women but being told I am a good provider and will make a great husband makes me feel like shit. Like what would happen if I lost my good paying job or better yet what if I were to get injured and couldn't make anything more than state assistance, would she be there to support and help me? Basically what I feel like right now is a really good friend who she just allowed to have sex with. I know in my head that this is not correct but in my heart that is what I feel. I'm sorry for the length here and I don't even know what I am asking here. I am totally lost and if this continues I just think I am going to break our engagement. tl;dr: heard fiance tell her friend that previous ex was superior in the sack (presumable due to size among other things), relationship has gone to hell since and I need advice. **EDIT:** Holy God. I made this post last night and answered a couple of questions and then went to bed and got up today and went Christmas shopping hoping to make me forget my troubles and didn't even log in until just now. I have not even started to read the (at this point) 7.7 thousand comments on this post. I don't know what anyone has said yet but thank you all for commenting either way. I am now going to begin the massive undertaking of looking at the comments. Also thank you for the Gold and Silver kind internet strangers. **EDIT 2:** Dear God. I read all the way down to the bottom of the page thinking I had gotten through most of everything and then at the bottom it said load the 5.5K more posts. I'm stopping for the night (well morning actually). I was going to respond to people individually but there is just no way. I haven't even started reading the direct messages to me yet nor have I opened any of the 20 chat screens. There are issues I want out there because there are a couple of things that are being said that are not accurate. 1. She was to use the Barney Gumble phrase using "sweet sweet drunk talk". In other words her and her friend were drunk while talking. Nope, neither of us drink. We don't even have it in the house. 2. That I am upset she told her friend. Well this is an odd thing, before I posted this honestly I wasn't that upset about this part. I was then and am still far more upset that this is how she feels. However now reading a lot of the post I have become somewhat aggravated that she did share this with her friend. I would never say anything about her to anyone that would put her in a lesser light. 3. That I am an insecure man child who should just man up and learn to do better. Well I'm certain the first part is true, being insecure and all. But the last part is just out of my control. No matter what I do I will only ever be 7" long. We have talked about this btw, when she was trying to build me up. She said that I was already great with everything but the one thing I can't control. (Okay, so I gave myself about a half inch to feel better) 4. No I'm not going to do anything rash. It's already been a month so its not like this happened last week. But yes I have to decide what I am going to do here before long. It's not fair to either of us is I am just coasting through this and no longer committed. 5. She is sorry that I heard it. She said she is sorry she said it but at the end of the day she would not be sorry if I didn't catch her saying it. It is what it is. But yes I do believe she is regretting it because she has basically been a mess since I first told her. Me not wanting to be with her is bothering her a lot according to her. I don't know how much of that I believe but right now I guess I don't know why she would lie. It really has wrecked hell on our Christmas spirit this year I know that. **EDIT 3:** Engineer for those who keep asking what I do for a living. She is a paralegal. **EDIT 4:** People have been asking about the relationship with the ex and how I know she was heartbroken. We met about 9 months after they separated. I know that ultimately he wanted to be with someone else, although she has claimed he never cheated. He just ended things so he could be with another woman. She approached me at a local workshop and we started dating . On our 4th date when things started to get physical she broke down crying about the ex. It was certainly weird to hold someone while they cried about someone else but I did it. We sporadically dated for a couple more months in which time I never tried to cross any boundaries physically because it was obvious she wasn't over him so while we just went out of dates I tried to keep myself of the mind that we were just friends because I didn't want to commit either. After close to two months she drags me from my car to her apartment and begins to tell me how much she has appreciated my patience with her and how she felt stupid about dragging me along for so long. Obviously that was our first night together. Within 3 months of that she is telling me that she loves me. So yes, she was still hung up on her ex for fact when we got together. I had thought/hoped she was over him before this happened. **EDIT 5:** Okay I posted it below in the mass of other posts but I have also started a new post and hopefully the mods let it stay open.   [**(update) I (28M) with fiance (27F) about a month ago overheard her tell a friend her previous Ex was the best lover she ever had**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/a6a8qj/update_i_28m_with_fiance_27f_about_a_month_ago/) - 14 December 2018 It all came to a head last night. She just came out and asked me if I did not love her anymore and all that I could tell her was that a very large part of me still did but that what she said had really made it so that another part of me just didn't anymore. This started a larger conversation that I won't bore you with but ultimately it came down to me saying that I would have heard that he was just better at something or more attentive to something or was able to do something that I would have felt like I could have worked on it. I would have listened to anything she wanted worked on any technique or anything else that she would have shared with me. But to know that I was never going to measure up simply because of a physical issue was not something I thought I could get over any time soon or if I ever could for that matter. I was even honest and said that if it was just a ONS she had or some random guy who was just huge I might be able to get past that. But knowing that it was a guy who she was still madly in love with when I met her and only after time did she ever start to come around then it was just more than I could handle. She kept trying to tell me how much better I was at everything else and that I should not throw away a lifetime over one aspect. I told her that that one aspect sadly was just to high for me, not all things are equal and that honestly it is a mental failing on my part that it is but whether it is genetics or a learned trait or whatever that yes I needed to be my spouses best and she has already made it clear that I can never be. I tried my best to be gentle, I tried to take all of the blame of stating that I knew that my attitude was probably not healthy but it was who I am. BTW I'm typing this as though this were a clean conversation, it wasn't, there was lots of crying (by both of us). This is not a happy ending or even a satisfying one. I am beyond fucked up in the head over the entire situation. Everybody's Christmas is ruined. We had big family gatherings that we both were attending together and now we have to somehow break it to our family's what has happened. This alone is causing me massive stress because my parents loved her and what in the hell am I going to say is the reason why we are not together? She didn't cheat and if I say that I felt like she was still hung up on her ex she will obviously deny it and she will tell them the truth. It's fucked up no matter how this goes down. In the end I feel like a massive failure. I feel like a failure as a man because of not living up to comparison and I feel like a failure because I wasn't able to just "man up" and either get over it. She has begged me to go to couples counseling and initially I said no because at the end of the day what does it change? We can talk about every single thing and I can try and look at things from a different way and at the end of the day the woman who I wanted to marry just told one of our friends that no matter what I do I will never be as good as her ex. I just can not see five years from now ever being okay with this. But because she legitimately seems heartbroken I agreed to go. But that does not mean I will keep going. Today I moved out a lot of my stuff and am staying with a co worker for a few days until I can get a place for myself. She has been with her sister all day. I feel like shit. Thank you to everyone who took the time to type out a response. I honestly have tried to read everything even if I didn't reply to very many. The bitch of all of this is that I still love her. There is so much of me right now that wants to pick up the phone and call her and beg her to come back. **EDIT:** Well once again I posted this and then went away for awhile. I went with my friend to see Mortal Engines and the to dinner and then we've been talking for a long while so I started reading awhile ago. It is going to take me forever to read and once again I don't think responding individually will ever happen because of the large number of posts and private messages. But thank all of you for reading and responding. **EDIT 2:** I guess I do want to share one thing I spoke with her about. When we were having our very long conversation I presented her with a scenario for her to compare. I know her well enough to know that comparing body parts or sexual prowess isn't going to impact her the same way it would me. So I put the scenario to her like this. I said what if you walked in and overheard me talking with my friend Tim and you heard this. "Jill is great but she will never understand me and comfort me the way Tiffany did" "But its not Jill's fault Tiffany is just the smartest most compassionate person I've ever known and Jill just isn't as smart". Then if she would confront me about saying those things about her that my response to her would have been. "I love you for all of your other qualities". "Nobody makes a sandwich like you do and I think long term you wont gauge me for my money" At first she tried to say that this was a totally different issue but once we talked more about it she finally agreed it is because of the way we both approach and value sex. She ultimately admitted that this would really hurt her feelings but she would not break up with me over it. I then responded that even in my make believe scenario, which btw I would never say to anyone out loud about anyone I loved, she could improve her level of education and learn to be more compassionate. **EDIT 3:** If anyone even reads this I want to add one last thing. People have been telling me what a whiny bitch I am (that's one of the more kind things they've said) because I can't get over someone else in the world having a bigger dick than me. Not going to lie and say I'm thrilled with it but I'm not dumb enough to think I have a giant magic wand or anything. I had grown up believing what I now know to be a lie that women don't care about size. Some don't but obviously some do and my ex is one of those that obviously did. But even with that ultimately I might have been able to get over it if it was just said as a matter of fact. But hearing that no matter what I did, how much I loved her or any other thing that I was NEVER going to be as good is what has bothered me since. Yes size is obviously a big part of it, but if I hadn't heard that I would never be the lover I think I might have been okay. Well not okay but at least not relationship killing. Yes I overvalue sex. I get that. Yes it is very important to me and well frankly I want to be wanted as much as I want to want someone, if that makes any sense. Yes I know whoever I date in the future will most likely have had someone who was either bigger, better or whatever. But I would really hope that they would not be still hung up on it a few years later.   [**(final update) I (28M) with fiance (27F) about a month ago overheard her tell a friend her previous Ex was the best lover she ever had**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/aom7po/final_update_i_28m_with_fiance_27f_about_a_month/) - 8 February 2019 I wasn't going to post anymore but I am still getting daily direct messages wanting to know how things are going. I do appreciate the kind words and concerns. But just so anyone who cares can know. It is over. I went to counseling with her on three different occasions and honestly I tried to have an open mind about it. But at the end of the day the obstacle was just to much to overcome. I even gave her an opportunity to walk back her statement or amend it or well do whatever she wanted to with it. But instead she double downed in a way. I think by that time she was very frustrated as well. Neither of us are really happy about this. It has been an absolute nightmare for me trying to avoid telling people/family why we are no longer together. Of course I tried the old "its none of your business" to some of them but that failed spectacularly and since I refused to tell they decided she cheated on me and started spreading that around. I've had to do a lot of damage control over that. I've decided to continue with therapy on a personal level because honestly this entire thing has really messed with my head and I have no self esteem left at all. I've only seen her once since we separated and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. She is now, justifiably so, in the angry stage. She is furious with me and has called me everything that you can imagine and then even made up some words. tl;dr: Its over. I tried going to counseling and things only got worse.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I (28M) with fiance (27F) about a month ago overheard her tell a friend her previous Ex was the best lover she ever had

CONCLUDED

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzhpxa/i_28m_with_fiance_27f_about_a_month_ago_overheard/

yzivu7

**I am not OOP.** OOP is [u/frustrateddoctormom](https://www.reddit.com/user/frustrateddoctormom/). She posted in r/QAnonCasualties. I also included a some of her comments on other posts when she talked about her situation. Trigger Warnings: >!everything that goes with Qanon, verbal & emotional abuse, parental alienation, drug abuse!< Mood Spoiler: >!distressing throughout, but she gets away in the end!< **First** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/mber57/lost_my_husband_son_next/)**: March 23, 2021** Hi everyone, To make a long story short, I rushed into a relationship while in a vulnerable state as a single mom. There were problems from the get go with my husband's authoritarianism, narcissism, lack of education (ie never read a book, watched TV for entertainment almost exclusively). We have a young daughter together which fueled the marriage and kept me in. He adopted my son a few years ago who is now a teenager. After Trump got elected, he became a "trumpite" and things have just spiraled since then. He follows Q, things have devolved to the point that we cannot have a civil conversation about nearly anything. Since the Q cult is so all encompassing, he is easily triggered. His response to my questioning is to get louder and yell at me, demanding that I "show him the evidence". He suddenly believes in Christianity and ascribes all of my problems to my lack of belief in God. I am a medical doctor with 2 science degrees as well. Yet, my opinions about vaccine safety and big pharma are not respected (or even listened to for that matter). I am a sheep for getting vaccinated, being told what to do by my "handlers" since I wear a mask while working in the hospital! He believes in chemtrails, the whole pedophile ring thing, Bill Gates' plan to sterilize humanity, you name it! The scariest thing is that he constantly promotes his conspiracy theories to my kids - my young teenage son in particular. I think he has attachment issues/insecure attachment so he goes along with everything that his stepdad says. He has even started calling me a left wing idiot and yells at me like my husband does. He insists that everything his Dad says is right and I'm wrong about everything. I tried teaching him some logic with a fallacy book but he's convinced I'm trying to "turn him against Dad"! I'm trying to get my son some counseling but his stepdad is very suspicious of this as well. He doesn't want any "government" involvement in our family. He doesn't want him to get counseling at all. I would love to leave if I could - but I fear that my kids will be brainwashed without me here. I'm so unhappy and saddened by how entrenched he has become with these conspiracies. It's like he's in a cult and is trying to assimilate my kids, yet how can I prove this in court? How can I protect my kids and my own sanity? Looking for any advice or feedback. Mother's worst nightmare.... **Update on original post (same day in comments)** I'd like to thank everyone for your support. I suppose that I should try and contact a different lawyer - the first two I consulted painted a dismal picture of my fighting him in court and still only having my kids 50% of the time. Furthermore, my son is old enough to "vote with his feet" so can choose where he stays regardless of court orders. I suppose my only recourse would be if I could prove that he is truly indoctrinating false beliefs/conspiracies and is therefore unfit to parent. I'm not sure how I'd do this given that these idiotic falsehoods are so widespread - even infiltrating mainstream media in some ways. It's difficult to call this a type of psychosis or delusion because it doesn't really meet criteria for psychiatric illness... I'm doing all that I can to document everything but it is all so very exhausting. I've had to hide my journal because my son read it then reported what he read to his step dad. Most recently, my husband is refusing to see a counsellor and is planning to go to a lawyer to "divide" things up. I'm OK with this - I just fear losing my influence on my children. I guess I need freedom and some peace too, and maybe I'll end up losing my son in the process. I don't think I can stay in sort of situation for much longer and remain strong and healthy. **Comment on** [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/mu1koj/there_needs_to_be_an_organized_pushback_against/gv5ioc1/?context=3) **post: April 19, 2021** Totally. This crap is ruining my marriage/family...husband had narc PD traits to start with but things are totally unraveling since Trump got elected. Indoctrinating my kids. My brother is also Q and neo-nazi - yelled at me, swore, called me the "C" word when I asked him about fact checking etc when claimed Q is the "middle class revolution!" So frustrating - cannot engage in any reasonable kind of discussion with these people. There is no counter-speech. I don't know what the solution is but it's not portending well for democracy as we know it. **Comment on** [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/muzbtg/scientist_gaslighted_and_boundaries_overstepped/gv9trkz/?context=3) **post: April 20, 2021** Yeah it sucks being undermined and invalidated by someone without any science training or education. My spouse also completely disregards my medical opinions despite my science degrees and MD. There is no point in engaging with them, it just enrages them. "Engage to enrage!" haha. It's actually very tragic and depressing. I'm trying to focus on what I can change, accepting things I can't and trying to get better at recognizing which is which (serenity prayer!). It is not easy. Families are being torn apart by this stuff. I fear for the future of humanity, really, until something is done to deal with the algorithms manipulating the dissemination of information online. **Comment on** [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/n1itce/after_4_years_i_finally_ended_my_toxic/gwfao73/?context=3) **post in** r/abusiverelationships\*\*: April 30, 2021\*\* Wow I can't believe you did it for 40 years. I've only been in mine for 6. I'm feeling so optimistic about my future despite forthcoming separation proceedings/possible trial etc. I know I'm doing what's best for me and my kids. I should have left years ago but it is so hard when you're in it to have clarity. So much fear... **Comment on** [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/comments/n14y9u/in_case_you_didnt_know_their_niceness_is/gwfbyxc/?context=3) **post in** r/NarcissisticAbuse\*\*: April 30, 2021\*\* same...making food for me, telling me he loves me and "I'm the problem because I don't love him or believe in marriage or family or God". Saying these things in front of my kids to try and alienate them from me. It's unreal. "No one will treat you as well as I treat you". "I'm progressive because I cook and do laundry." Oh OK - so that gives you the right to belittle me in front of my kids. Sliencing me. Yelling "I'm not yelling". I'm the controlling one. I'm the abuser. Ummm, no! I'll treat myself well and the hell with another intimate relationship! I'll find fulfillment in other ways.. **Update** [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/o7290l/followup_q_spouse_etc/) **1: June 24, 2021** Just looking for more advice/feedback I suppose. To summarize, in rather emotionally/verbally abusive marriage with daily yelling at me and my kids, copious gaslighting. Baseline abusiveness became over the top over last couple of years with Trump and Qanon bullshit. Was about to leave and proceed with divorce then got cold feet after filing and canceled everything. I felt overwhelmed with panic and fear. I suspect I am trauma bonded/struck in a fantasy or projected world and that is why I'm "trying again". Got back together and trying counselling but the same behaviours are happening. Psychological counseling is outlandishly expensive and focuses on "thinking" rather than "emotions" and seems to minimize any personal responsibilities. Therapist thinks there is a positive and negative in "every" experience and that no one should every apologize. He says that peace and happiness are bullshit and that daily conflict and strife are normal in marriage! There are repeated boundary violations, he keeps bringing up covid conspiracy stuff and has "forced" me to agree to hold off on vaccinating our children. My son is a teen so he has "decided" not to get vaccinated based on his dad's "facts". I'm feeling so empty and hopeless...guess I'm looking for encouragement to try and take a stand for myself and my children. I know that 50-50 custody is what's going to happen and I fear ongoing manipulation and control even if I leave with even less influence on my children - BUT, I'm reaching the point where I have just HAD ENOUGH and need to move on and stop tolerating this nonsense! Life is too short to have such daily misery and strife over bullshit stuff that isn't even real! I know that I won't be able to go no-contact since we have children but maybe I can limit communication to what's relevant to the children and focus on finding some peace in my life for once. **Update** [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/oy0xw2/q_lives_marriage_dies_more_vax_conspiracies/) **2: August 4, 2021** 1 month separated from Qhusband, feeling better although hard to get through to my teenaged son who remains quite alienated from me. Went to pickup younger child and spouse had FAUxe news streaming on his computer in same room while child watched TV. He didn't hear me come in... I was like "Wow, I see you're really into this now that I'm gone". On my way out he starts lecturing me about how vaccines are killing people - how despite the best vaccination rates in Israel they are having the most hospitalizations blah blah blah. I asked for sources and he just dismissed me, rolled his eyes and yelled "whatever!", "Good luck killing people with your vaccines!". Maybe I should start recording this stuff...I fear for my kids being surrounded by this lunacy. I had hoped that my leaving would have maybe gotten him to wake up but it seems like it hasn't (like many other sad stories here). He and my son are refusing to get vaccinated, of course. So frustrating... *Comment asks if she can use this in court:* I've considered this - it may come to this if he continues to spiral. It is hard to prove these things in court. He can present is as having more conservative views than me etc. "I'm just waiting for final authorization of the vaccine before we get it. It's not illegal to watch this news network." I'm documenting in writing, am considering voice recording all interactions going forward. Also, the court process could further alienate my son (they both lied in the past when I had to report other abuse). However, if things get bad enough I may need to do what I can so save my younger daughter . There may not be much that I can do to save my older son. Hopefully he will come around as long as I remain supportive and sane. In Canada it is very hard to prove emotional/verbal abuse. The new divorce laws are supposed to take it into account, but in reality it's very hard to prove. Often, the children are aligned with the abuser which makes it even harder. It's so messed up. I never would have imagined that this would have happened to me and my kids. Regardless, I'm partly to blame for choosing to bring this man into me and my son's life without adequate vetting. I have the choice now to do something about it and move on. **Comment on** [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/p3n5mi/losing_the_love_of_my_life_to_conspiracy_theories/h8ssx1t/?context=3) **post: August 13, 2021** Proving the Q thing is not easy for custody purposes, especially if they aren't on social media and just consume the videos online, get confirmation bias from friends via phone conversations, texts, emails etc. Unless you hack into their phone or email and somehow have copies of these things, very hard to prove. Also, they tend to be smart enough to feign not believing in Q and projecting onto you that you are the crazy one, censoring their free speech and views etc. Even if you do prove they believe in Q, it's a leap from there to argue that they are not competent parents just because of their fringe views on things. There are even cases in Canada looking at anti-vax parents, and it's not necessarily something you can win at. It's all very frustrating.. **Update** [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/q3wy6g/update_left_spouse_ranthow_far_gone_is_he/) **3: October 8, 2021** Hi guys, So heartbreaking seeing so many other families destroyed like mine. I left husband a few months ago, moving into new house soon. It has been VERY difficult. I had hoped that my leaving would maybe snap him out of it. I think he's just getting more delusional without me there to mitigate his hours of video consumption. Got my son vaxed at least! He was terrified he would die and felt like he was a traitor to his dad. I guess the peer pressure to be like his friends and be able to play sports helped sway him. I tried to show some interest and curiosity about his views, instead of outright challenging them or dismissing them. Whoah - now there are hybrids - pig/human hybrids (per A. Jones - who knows the truth about everything). A "lot of stuff" is coming but he wouldn't commit to writing down any deadlines. I had planned to write out the major predictions with deadlines and leave it with him so we could check how much actually comes true, with the hope that he might realize it's wrong (he was paranoid I'd take it to a lawyer etc so wouldn't want me to take it with me). He won't commit to any deadlines - it will all happen, SOMEDAY. Not only do the goalposts keep changing - they are never set in the first place. So I guess this will NEVER end? He says that there are multiple legal challenges re: Trump election fraud, vaccines are killing more people than covid (check VAERS!), remdesevir is killing people too. I probably got the placebo vaccine - otherwise I'm apt to die within 6mos-3 yrs. He says he's probably going to jail sometime soon. He implied it was because he wasn't going along with their narrative. People "like him" are going to be rounded up in quarantine camps. He will never bend the knee! This tyranny will never end. Fauci apparently tortured thousands of puppies with maggots....and is making trillions on the vaccine for a virus that HE created. He (and they rest of "them" responsible for these crimes against humanity) should be hanged in public so everyone knows the truth. I asked what he was going to do about it. He said he thinks there will be an armed uprising, and that the military may actually orchestrate it. Heartbreaking - he is terrified and in a perpetual state of rage. Yet, says he is "happy". So sad being unable to help someone you love...and seeing how they can be harmful to your children. How far gone do you think he is? Any hope for recovery after pandemic ends? I know I need to keep moving forward, if not for me, for my kids. They need one peaceful, calm, happy home. **Comment on** [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/re556m/thinks_i_put_poison_in_me/ho6f5s4/?context=3) **post: December 11, 2021** My experience with the socratic approach or gently asking questions is that they shut you down. They respond by yelling or name calling, lumping you in with "them". Or they cut off the conversation with "I gotta go!". They say things like "I can't talk to you. I'm done arguing with you", the moment you try to answer one of their rhetorical questions or if you ask them a question. The irony is you're the one who's been listening for an hour without getting a word in edge wise. Quite the argument, indeed. When I ask them to explain how, exactly, mRNA alters DNA, they just say that they don't know for sure WHY things are happening just that they are right! It's exhausting. **Comment on** [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/t3t92w/grieving_someone_who_is_still_alive/hz2tt9h/?context=3) **post: March 2, 2022** Yeah same here. Mine wasn't really working before and now can live off my child support payments so little incentive to work. Ironic though how he is such a strong proponent of "traditional" family values, patriarchy. It's OK when the woman pays for your life though while you sit around doing drugs, watching porn, consuming conspiracy videos. My education was mostly brainwashing at the "indoctrination farms", apparently. (high level science and medical degrees), sigh. **Final** [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/ylwzqd/divorce_update_left_q_husband/)**: November 4, 2022** I posted quite a while ago. Divorce is finalized. My son still isn't coming with me and it's been 2 years since I left (he's in his teens now). I was bullied into an unfair agreement and shared custody but I'm heading to court now (should have went in the first place) to try to get full custody. Turns out Qanon husband is also a cocaine addict...go figure. Took ivermectin last year for his colds, talks about our children as being his "property" (sov cit crap?) and has become extremely religious (evangelical style - I'm the "anti-Christ" for being agnostic). This whole thing has been a nightmare. I am trauma bonded so have went back to him a couple of times (never for long, kids never knew). I'm working on breaking this through therapy and minimizing contact. Workbooks, suggested on here, have been helpful too. One of the trauma bond recovery books suggests seeking out support from an online community of people who have experienced what I have. I'm looking for more support, I guess. I have made some friends on here too. I'm hoping that the drug use will be enough for me to get custody of my younger child (may not be enough to get my older son out of there - he can just walk back). I'm learning to let go of the fantasy of who I thought I loved. Good luck to everyone out there experiencing this. It is truly horrible. However, I am stronger because of it and am focusing on my healing and personal growth and I have some peace now. PS: counselor advised not talking about him to my friends/family anymore to help me live my own "life". So I'm on here looking to vent and get some support. Thank you! **OOP, I sincerely wish you and your kids the best moving forward. I honestly don't have words for how horrifying the Q cult is and what it does to people.**

Doctor lost her husband to Q, tries to prevent her kids from going down the same path

CONCLUDED

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzivu7/doctor_lost_her_husband_to_q_tries_to_prevent_her/

yzjjzy

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwrafianceweight in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**My (23F) fiance (24M) has gotten way too overweight and I'm now having second thoughts about marriage.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hbs6nu/my_23f_fiance_24m_has_gotten_way_too_overweight/) - 19 June 2020 We've been together since we were 18. He proposed last April to which I was so happy about. Back then he was overweight by maybe 50 pounds, he'd gained this over the course of college. While it's of course not great it also wasn't a dealbreaker for me. I still enjoyed having sex with him and he was still active enough that we could live a normal life and have fun together. Since then, he's gone on to gain nearly a hundred more pounds in a little over a year. He weighs over 300 pounds. It's ridiculous at this point. I completely understand eating a crappy cafeteria-vending-machine-microwave diet when you're in college, plus the stress and late nights studying (or partying) where snacking is standard. But this far exceeds that. His habits didn't improve after college. They just got worse. I've lived with him since our junior year and can attest that he eats FAR MORE junk food now, not less. Despite me shopping and making healthy appropriately sized meals for the both of us. Not complaining about that, I actually love cooking and trying new recipes, I'm just pointing out he won't eat healthy even though he doesn't have to put in any effort to do so. Also fuck food delivery apps, seriously...no hate at all to the drivers trying to make some money but on the customer end, I feel like the sheer 24/7 instant access to fast food has almost become a crutch to him. He has to order something almost every day. Never mind the hole it's drilling in our budget. He can't seem to resist this constant availability knowing he can get whatever he wants whenever he wants it without even having to leave the house. This far predates quarantine by the way. I can feel my sexual interest dwindling by the day. It feels horrible because I still love him for the person he is but the physical part just idn't there anymore. It's a lack we both notice. The problem is he's not particularly motivated to do anything about it because his sex drive has decreased in an inverse relationship to his weight gain. He basically figures "we're just equally" not feeling like having much sex these days. He doesn't connect that he's doing something to cause this, it's not just a fluke. And it's not only about his size either. It's also his tendency to just sit on the couch on his laptop and snacking all day... we used to do more things together. I've tried many times to get him to do stuff I know he's interested in (or used to be?) but he usually turns it down in favor of the internet. I find it hard to find attraction to him when that's all he does with his day. I've tried talking to him about all this. He alternates between saying he's not that overweight, and saying it's not a big deal because he doesn't have any medical problems. But he can't know that for certain because he hasn't been to the doctor in a while. In general he sidesteps my worries by making jokes and acting really casual about it. Our wedding plans are pending due to covid but we decided we'll probably go ahead with just a very small official ceremony in September. Being so close to making this commitment to him, as he is right now, is seriously starting to give me pause... I don't want my husband to be like this for the rest of his life. I don't want him to die young. I mean, 100 pounds in a year? So where is he by the time he's 30 at that rate?? I'm not sure why he doesn't see a problem. He seems content with how things are. He says he isn't depressed (I haven't pushed it but did ask a couple times and he didn't seem to understand why I was asking). I do know depression or other mental illness can cause things like this, and I know depression cannot always be "seen" by the people around you... but we are quite emotionally open with eachother, he's never been a guy who struggles to talk about his feelings or problems. So this is unusual to me. He's caring towards me, goofy, and chipper as always in his daily attitude. His hygiene is fine. You wouldn't think anything was different if not for how he eats garbage and usually doesn't want to do anything that'd take him away from the computer or his phone for more than an hour. Could he still be depressed do you think? What do I do about this? If he is struggling with something, I want to support him. On the other hand, if it's just lazyness and not caring, I honestly don't think I could deal with that if it never changed. How do I tell the difference? TL;DR: My fiance is rapidly piling on weight, usually chooses really bad food despite me making healthy meals for him. I don't know why because he brushes off my concern and questions with jokes. It's really making me rethink marriage.   [**Update: My (23F) fiance (24M) has gotten way too overweight and I'm now having second thoughts about marriage.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/heszvw/update_my_23f_fiance_24m_has_gotten_way_too/) - 24 June 2020 Well, here goes... not a great update. I took a number of suggestions on what to bring up to him and how to have the conversation about my concerns. He did the usual thing of trying to brush it off. I persisted, much more than I have before. Eventually I got my wish, he finally told the truth. Not easily, mind, this was a several hours long ordeal. He did NOT want to come clean about anything. He has a weight gain fetish. Not me or someone else gaining weight, which I already knew was a thing, but HIM gaining weight. He's been doing all of this on purpose, for years. He said the beginning was unintentional, just eating too much junk at college. Then he realized he liked it. He also realized if he let himself balloon too much I might bail. He didn't want to lose me. So he had enough self control to keep it at a moderate level, until I accepted his proposal last year. That was apparently the green light he needed to throw restraint to the wind and start pursuing this fetish full speed ahead. I never had a single inkling of suspicion the entire time. I guess I can't blame myself for that because dramatic weight gain is usually for the reasons I assumed... depression or stress or bad habits or just getting comfortable and not caring. You never hear of sexual motivations. I still feel like a complete and utter fool. Like I got played, hard. This was NOT what I thought I was marrying into. When, if ever, was he going to tell me? He claims he "would have when it was the right time". What does that mean? Next week? Doubt it. Years in the future when we maybe have kids? More likely. Oh and the reluctance to do anything requiring getting off the internet that I mentioned? That's because he's posting in forums and discord fetish communities talking about it. All these people share weight gain tips and compare "progress pictures" of their bellies and write pornographic roleplay stories. I'm truly disgusted. I've obliviously been sat right next to him countless times while he gets off in his own little world. He has even discussed with random strangers how to keep me in the dark. Apparently the most common suggestion was "play dumb and make it into a running joke", so there's my explanation for why he constantly dismissed anything I said. Unbelievable. This has been going on right under my nose for years. I really cannot fathom how I could be so clueless. And that the person I thought I knew had the gall, to not only intentionally make himself obese, but to hide his motivations from me, seek out advice on how to do that, and lie to me over and over when I attempted to talk about my worry. I expressed how I felt seriously betrayed, like our relationship had been built on a false pretense without my knowledge. He did apologize sincerely. He said he would "try" to lose weight. I asked why is he only saying that now? Why did he refuse to discuss let alone change anything all the other times I asked what was up? Leaving me to be confused and worried instead. He didn't have an answer. He just begged me to give him one chance and promised he'd stop and get healthier. My problem is, I just don't know if I can believe that. And even if he follows through I don't know if I can get over being lied to. For years. I was so dumbfounded that I asked him to leave today (the conversation was last night) so I could collect my thoughts. He'll be back tomorrow night. 100% sure I want to call off the engagement. 80% sure I want to just bite the bullet and end the relationship. Fuck this. I absolutely love this man. Why did he have to do this. TL;DR: He has a fetish about gaining weight that he kept secret since college. Has been putting himself at risk deliberately. I'm in shock and will be calling off the wedding. TBD whether I give him a chance to prove he can change and be trustworthy, but I don't feel like it's likely.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My (23F) fiance (24M) has gotten way too overweight and I'm now having second thoughts about marriage.

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzjjzy/my_23f_fiance_24m_has_gotten_way_too_overweight/

yzmaw7

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/top-marketing-8802 in r/trueoffmychest. [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ypy66f/my_husbands_tinder_date_contacted_me_and_now_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) **My husband’s tinder date contacted me and now I know why he has stopped going down on me** We have 3 small children together and he stopped eating me out after I gave birth. I missed it but he did me off other ways so I wasn’t really bothered and didn’t make the connection. Two weeks ago a woman contacted me on Facebook. She said that she the suspected that my husband is the one she’s going out with and she showed me his profile picture. How stupid are men nowadays or at least men in my country when you can easily find out their marital status, the adress and who lives at their adress with one google? Anyway in his profile. It was very important for him that women he looked for are childfree. I made a fake profile and started swiping men my husband’s age until I found him. We started talking and he was not the same man I married. I mean I know it’s him but he was cold, rude, horny and calculated. Only talked about sex. Not the warm man that comes home to us every evening to help me with the children tuck them read them stories and then spend the rest of the evening cozying me up in the sofa. When I asked him why he only wanted childfree he said this: **I can’t stand the look of (downstairs) on mothers.** I have been living in a haze. I’m a sahm. I can’t leave him. The woman who contacted me stayed in touch. She said she could help me find a job and she owns a few apartment buildings and is willing to give me one until I can start paying rent. How can life change so drastically in just two weeks. [Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ypy66f/my_husbands_tinder_date_contacted_me_and_now_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (9 Nov 22) **My husband’s tinder date contacted me and now I know why he has stopped going down on me. part 2** I want to answer this question first: Why I found that the worst part of my husband's cheating was the oral sex part. It was because this is something I was suspecting for a while and honestly I dont know why it hit me so hard. I know that cheaters cheat because they are cheaters but somehow I felt that he thought I was ugly downstairs and was cheating because he wanted something that he was lacking. This hit me hard. I'm not cold about the situation. I'm heartbroken but I honestly dont know why I rephrased my original post that way. it just hurt me so bad and I was just in the moment writing off what I was feeling. About the tinder date: She is 12 years older than me (I'm 29) and I have met her with her. She met my husband 4-5 times and that's when she started suspecting that he wasn't single (nor was he a businessman). When she found out that he was married she ghosted him. She found me on facebook and was hesitant for a week before contacting me. she said the main reason she didn't want to contact me was because she was scared that she would hurt me and ruin my and my children's life. What made her contact me however was the fact that she knew he would do it again if he wasn't doing it already. Why she wanted to help me now was because we ended up talking for days and she knew about my situation. she was in a similar situation with her late husband although hers was way worse. her husband groomed her when she was 16 and he was 25 her senior. He physically and mentally abused her so much so that she miscarried after he abused her and it resulted in her not being able to have children (that must be a real turn on for my DH mustn't it?). He cheated on her constantly because she was broken goods. He passed away 2 years ago. I have googled her after I came home and she is involved in a lot of charities concerning women. She still offered me help if I chose to leave my husband and she even drove me to one of the apartment complexes she owned. I know I need to leave my husband but I haven't talked to him yet. he is still the same warm and kind husband when he comes home. Tucks in the kids, cleans the kitchen and cuddles me in the sofa to our favorite TV shows talking about his day (minus the going down on other women part). [Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yt9if1/my_husbands_tinder_date_contacted_me_and_now_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) (12 Nov 22) **My husband’s tinder date contacted me and now I know why he has stopped going down on me. part 3** The cat is out of the bag now. I want to thank the reddit dude u/Rude-Fill-1306 who gave me the idea and thank you for complimenting my p\*ssy! you made my day. Yes I sent a picture of my privates and got gratification from a total stranger online. My husband was supposed to go out tonight on a work thing, A SATURDAY NIGHT? Like he is not even trying anymore. He was in the shower preparing I decided to join him, he looked dumbstruck but pleased all the same. He tried to touch me but I said that I had a surprise in the bedroom and that he should join me there. When he got out I was in bed in my underwear, I started touching myself and every time he tried to come nearer I pushed him back with my foot and told him just to watch. When I started touching down I asked him that if he wanted to see me he should take off my undies and he did so fast he almost ripped them off. I asked him if he liked what he saw and he was "God YES I LOVE IT" When I came he went crazy, telling me how sexy I was and how he wanted to have me now. I pushed him back with my foot again and asked him if he forgot that he had a work engagement and he said that he could always call in sick. So I asked him if his child free tinder p\*ssy would appreciate him bailing out on her with such short notice. He looked even more dumbstruck now and started panicking and apologizing. He said that that was nothing that he was going to cancel anyway because he was feeling guilty. I told him that I knew more than he could imagine and to save himself the embarrassment of lying when I knew much much more. I took another shower because I felt disgusted with everything and the rest of the evening I spent with my children, having Ice Age marathon. He left 4 hours ago and is been texting me all evening/night. I'm art major but I have been thinking about taking a semester or two and become art teacher. It is a decent job. After asking my husband to leave I called the tinder lady, who I wish with all my heart become a friend fo mine. I told her everything and she told me she might had found me a job as a painter (like houses). When my husbands comes back I will ask him to move into the living room. I will not tell him that I'm leaving him until I have set my affairs in order. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP** The [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ypy66f/my_husbands_tinder_date_contacted_me_and_now_i/ivs9k8p?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) by u/rude-fill-1360.

OOP - My husband’s tinder date contacted me and now I know why he has stopped going down on me.

ONGOING

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzmaw7/oop_my_husbands_tinder_date_contacted_me_and_now/

yzqj8o

**I am not OP.** Posted by u/GrandmommaofDragons on r/justnofamily   [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/comments/agos9a/my_daughter_disowned_my_grandson/) _- January 17, 2019_ Well, I'm furious. This morning, my sixteen year old grandson showed up at my doorstep with a bag looking like he'd just had the stuffing knocked out of him. He lives two states away and travelled by bus to get here. Why? Because my daughter decided the best way to handle him coming out to her was to toss him out into the cold. I'm so angry with her that I don't want to type out things that I will one day regret, but Jesus, I thought I raised her better than that. My grandson is currently sleeping in his new bedroom, and I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to proceed from here. The poor child has just had his entire world turned upside down, but what do I say and do to make this right for him? He doesn't want to go back, daughter doesn't want him back, I'm absolutely fine with having him stay with me, but there's a lot that needs doing. More importantly, what channels would I need to go through to make sure my daughter gets her just deserts? I love her, and I'll likely always love her, but I raised them all to be accountable for their actions, and nobody hurts my grandbabies. \*Edit: I appreciate all the help and assistance that has been offered, and I have spoken with my lawyer. I have been advised not to speak about legal matters until we have the situation handled. Financially, I have done very well for myself and can provide everything my grandson wants and needs without causing myself financial difficulty. For these reasons, I would humbly request that people stop messaging me with advice and offers of aid at this time. I am extremely grateful, and I am so touched by this show of love and support from complete strangers, but it's becoming very overwhelming on my end. When things are settled, I will update you all on the outcome. Thank you again for your love, support, and advice.   [**Update 1**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/comments/al05ux/daughter_disowned_my_grandson_update/) _- January 29, 2019_ My grandson is in therapy and has been enrolled at school. He has been placed in my custody while CPS proceeds. My lawyer is handling all necessary paperwork and believes we have absolutely nothing to worry about. Our case worker has echoed this. I will not be discussing legal matters further. My daughter is facing criminal charges for her actions. Child abandonment is a very serious crime. Her actions reflect very poorly on her as a whole. Upon realising that her income was being cut off and that she had committed a fair number of crimes, she instantly began to plead that she hadn't meant to and it had been a heat of the moment decision that she regretted. Considering she has already thrown out all of my grandson's clothing and worldly possessions, this defense did not hold up to scrutiny. My grandson is as well as can be expected. He's made friends in the form of my neighbour's kids. They're around his age. We've redecorated his room and he had a good time being allowed to pick out his own furniture and paint. He's gotten a PS4 which has become his escape. He personally has made the choice to not join a group and I won't force him to do so. We're talking about getting a puppy as he loves dogs but his mother never allowed him one. We are doing well. Thank you all again for your support when this began.   [**Final Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/comments/axk9yg/daughter_disowned_my_grandson_update_2/) _- March 5, 2019_ My grandson is doing well. He has made a few friends in the neighbourhood and he has bonded with his pup quite nicely. The two are almost inseparable save for when he is in school. He has begun meeting with a counsellor that offers online sessions. My daughter has been granted a plea deal which she has accepted to avoid the full extent of what the courts would have otherwise given her. I am told by my lawyer that this is a common occurrence in such situations in order to expedite proceedings so as to best see to the child's needs. The charges against my daughter were dropped in accordance with this deal, and she has been stripped of her parental rights. Due to much of what came to light during proceedings, a restraining order was granted to keep her away from my grandson until he reaches his majority. We are moving forward with life. Now that court and other proceedings are winding down, I am once more considering moving. Even with my grandson here, the house is just to big for us, and the weather isn't as kind to my bones as it was when I was younger. My grandson is open to the idea and views it as a fresh start. This situation has allowed me to glean things about my family that I find very useful. The relatives that sided with my daughter and told her it was her right to do as she did as a god-fearing woman have been struck from my phonebook. Unfortunately, I count another of my children in this list. Those who took my grandson's side (note, it is very much his side and not my side) have shown themselves to be the good people I knew them to be. The wheat has separated itself from the chaff. I do believe this will be my last post here as there is just not much more to add, but I just wanted this lovely community to know that we will be okay.

My Daughter Disowned my Grandson.

REPOST

rainingsakuras

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yzqlgq

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OP's Partner thinks he's trying to poision her

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justjk18

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzqlgq/ops_partner_thinks_hes_trying_to_poision_her/

yzr55j

I am not OP. Original post from /r/offmychest by /u/Valuable-Side-766 Trigger warnings: >! Cheating, gaslighting, mention of mental abuse, mentions of self harm!< Mood spoilers: >! Sad but hopeful for OP !< --------------‐--------------- Orignal post 11 Nov 2022 https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/yr1sdo/my_bf_has_a_work_wife_and_i_hate_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button My BF has a work wife and I hate it I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for almost 4 years now. We have been in an LDR situation for 3 years because of the Pandemic and we both live in different cities because of his work. There’s no reason for me not to trust him. All our years together (and majority of it being LDR), nothing happened for me to lose my trust in him or to even doubt his feelings for me. Except 3 months ago. In our relationship, we often talk about how our day went, what happened at work, etc. It’s all pretty normal until he started talking about his co-worker. Let’s call her Amy (not her real name). My BF has been working for that company for 2 years, while Amy worked for more than 5 years there. I can’t really say that they recently met because from the beginning, they’re on the same department and team. In all my BF’s years of working there, he never once mentioned Amy. At least, not like how he does now. Anyway, my BF told me how amazing Amy was at work, and how basically he feels really happy to have found her as a friend. I don’t really mind that until he said she’s his work wife. I know the concept of a work husband and work wife, and to be frank I don’t like that. I asked since when have they been each other’s work spouse, and he told me around 3 months after he came to work, their office started to joke around saying how good Amy and my BF looked together. Their office consistently and always teased them together by giving projects both Amy and my BF need to do together which made them grow closer. They look after each other, and Amy even goes as far to pack my BF lunch everyday. She would often ask BF what he wanted to eat, and the next day she would cook it and bring it for him to eat. I really couldn’t bear to hear more of what my BF had to share because I feel so betrayed. I feel lied to. In all those time I asked him how his day went by and how his work was, I never heard him tell me this story. I never knew Amy and him were that close, and I never knew his co-workers teased them. I don’t know what to do, BF thinks I’m blowing things up for no reason and that I’m overreacting, but I feel really betrayed. What should I do? --------------‐--------------- Update 1 11 Nov 2022 https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/yrb9v4/update_my_bf_has_a_work_wife_and_i_hate_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button [UPDATE] My BF has a work wife and I hate it Hi everyone. As promised, here’s an update. I’m not sure if everyone saw my comment in the thread since it has gotten so long. I appreciate all the comments and messages I’ve received though! But there were some who told me I was naive and I’m so sorry. To be honest, I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to romantic relationships as BF is my first in everything. Please don’t be too harsh! 🙏 Anyway, for the update. So BF and I were supposed to call, but he ended up showing up at my place instead so we could genuinely talk. I didn’t let him in, because I took everyone’s advice carefully and I did this to protect myself just in case. We went to a nearby coffee place where the owner knows me in case something happens. I know he wouldn’t physically harm me, but I just want to be sure. I feel like I don’t know him anymore, to be honest. The first thing I asked him was if everyone knew about my existence. If his co-workers knew he had a girlfriend. He said they did. At this point I felt livid at his co-workers and at Amy. I would understand if they don’t know about me, but they do. I started to cry at this point out of frustration and BF kept apologizing to me. The next question I asked is if he has feelings for Amy. BF said he never had feelings for Amy, and he was sure Amy didn’t have feelings for him too because she has a boyfriend. I don’t believe she doesn’t have feelings for him. I told him I don’t believe she doesn’t have feelings for him. I know she does. My gut says so. He said it’s normal for opposite genders to be friends, and I immediately called him out for this, because he’s doing the opposite to me. I’m not allowed to have friends from the opposite sex, and he’s allowed? And he allows Amy to treat her the way she does, and care for him the way a girlfriend should care for someone? I also went on to let him imagine if it were him in my shoes, would he be happy to find out I have a work husband, and that I hid this dynamic from him for almost 2 years? He couldn’t even look me in the eye, but he started crying too. He said he was sorry for everything, and he sees where I am coming from. He finally understood how it feels for me, and he was sorry it took so long for him to open up. He asked for another chance, and I said I wasn’t sure. I was honest as well when I told him I was ready to leave him tonight and he begged me not to go, because he never saw Amy as something more and that it was I who he loves. I told him I’m not sure if I can believe that, and he said he would do anything to regain my trust back even if it meant starting from zero. He said he was willing to quit his work and look for a new job closer to where I am so he could spend more time with me. But I said I am no longer ready to move in with him, and he said he’s willing to wait until I take him back. I also told him I posted here on Reddit, and the reason why I have the courage to speak my mind is because you all gave me the courage I thought I never had. I encouraged him to read through the comments, as I did mention the emotional abuse he puts me through and I hadn’t even noticed it. I don’t know what’s next for us. I am uncertain if I want to try again. But I am allowing him to at least make it up to me. It will be up to me to decide if I want to take him back in or not, and he agreed. Also, he showed me the chats he had with Amy. My BF replies were formal, and not flirty. Hers was. BF was being respectful and he said he sees her as a sister, and nothing more. She sends suggestive photos and my BF told her it’s not something he should have a say on and to show it to her SO instead. Nothing seemed unusual from him, but it doesn’t relieve the fact that he lied to me and withheld this information for so long. I am furious at Amy and the co-workers for not respecting someone’s relationship, and I am furious at BF for lying and withholding this information from me. Anyway, I took her account and I will be messaging her later. BF doesn’t have a problem with this, and he’s also supportive of me confronting Amy. BF also shared the FB name of Amy’s SO, which I may reach out to in case I need it. As for the keys to my place and finances, BF understands that I want to pull out my share of money and that I want the keys back. He gave it to me and will be processing the closure of the joint account next week. He said he understands that this was his consequence for his actions and that he’s willing to earn me back. I will update everyone when I message Amy and as soon as she responds back. Again, thank you for the support and courage you gave me. From the bottom of my heart, I am truly grateful to have my voice and power back. He’s on his way back to his city, and I am all alone in my place now. I have never cried like this since in a while, and I never realized how overwhelmed I was until I was all alone. Please be proud of me, I stood my ground. Thank you for your kind support. --------------‐--------------- Update 2 12 Nov 2022 https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/yrx4re/update_my_bf_has_a_work_wife_and_i_hate_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button [UPDATE] My BF has a work wife and I hate it Hi everyone. I was hesitant to post this update because my posts got on Tiktok, and I saw some bad comments there. I am sorry, I cannot express myself properly. I am not so good at sharing stories mainly because I’m a private person. I never thought my post here will blow up and so many people will see it. I just wanted to vent. Please be kind with your words. Beyond all my posts, I am a person with feelings. I just want to clear some things up. While I do read through all your comments here, and while I did ask for advice, please know I am my own person and all my decisions were made not because I was influenced by anyone. I have lived on my own for years now, and have been independent. I know I asked for advice, but deep down I knew what I had to do. As some of you may know, I no longer have any support group because ex BF controlled me and manipulated into thinking girls can’t be friends with guys. I just needed a safe space to vent. Your comments are all welcome, and I am truly grateful for all the help you’ve given. But please don’t tell me I did this for attention and for the clout. I hope it is, honestly. But it isn’t. I wish this isn’t true so I can spare myself from the hurt. Yes, I broke up with ex BF. Many of you don’t understand why, and that’s okay. I feel like I can’t trust him anymore from this point on, and it is unfair for him to be with someone who can’t trust him. I know he wants to reconcile and the truth is I still love him. Many of you think I broke up with him for something so small…an “honest mistake.” But let me tell you, two years of withholding information from your Significant Other, most specially about the advances of some other girl is not easy to process. It may be nothing for ex BF but things like that should be known by your partner, regardless if you think it’s nothing to be made a big deal out of. I need to heal before I choose to be with anyone—even him. If I still want to be with him, I know I need to heal. I don’t wish them ill. I hope they will be happy, and I genuinely mean that. I just really want to know the truth and move forward with my life. I want to heal and be happy. And part of healing for me is knowing all sides of the story. Messaging Amy is never meant to be a confrontation. I do not want to message her because I want to set boundaries. Ex BF and I broke up. If he wants to pursue Amy then that is okay. He is free to do that now. All I want to do is to find out the truth. I want to hear Amy’s side of the story as I don’t know if I can trust what ex BF told me. I have a feeling she does not know about me. I know some of you can’t understand this, and that’s okay. 😊 You are most welcome to disagree with this but please be kind about it Before I message Amy, I would probably talk to her SO first. In fact, I already sent him a message and he replied. This weekend, we will meet to talk personally. I want him to know first and to be the person who’ll confront Amy. He deserves to know that. He needs to know what his GF has been doing behind his back. And then as for finding out the truth, maybe it’ll be a face to face meeting with me, Amy, and her SO. I’ll try my best not to let my emotions get to me and to just ask for the truth. That is all I need. If you even reached this part, thank you. I appreciate you. --------------‐--------------- Update 3 13 Nov 2022 https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/yt7crj/update_my_bf_has_a_work_wife_and_i_hate_it_talk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button [UPDATE] My BF has a work wife and I hate it -- Talk with Amy's SO Hi, as you can see from the title I've finally had a talk with Amy's SO. But before that, I just want to say thanks to those who believe in my story. I truly appreciate you all. I went in here to vent, not expecting anyone to even read my story. I don't have people to talk to, so it means so much to me that people from reddit take their time to let me know they are happy for me and my decision. As for those who don't believe in my story and who can't accept that I've chosen to decide the path I took, please respect my decision. Not all people have the same coping mechanism. This is how I cope, and this is what I believe is best to do in this situation. I'm not a perfect human being and I know I make mistakes but at least I try my best to choose what will be best for everyone and myself. Please be kind. Also, this will probably be my last update for this...unless there's really something else to share. While there were so many supportive people in here, there are also others who are so mean and it has gotten to me now. I don't think I can take any more and I'm just going to fulfill my promise to some kind souls in here about this update :) I hope you understand! So for the update: Amy's SO (to make it easier, let's call him Matt) and I met somewhere near his office. Matt and Amy are also long distance, so I was a bit surprised that him and I resided in the same city. This made it easier for us to meet as travel wasn't that far. Apparently he works on weekends and the only time we can meet is during lunch hours. We met at a public park as we both felt it's awkward to talk about this casually over coffee...He also mentioned that he did not tell Amy about this meet-up and will do so when they talk. I first apologized for what I had to say. I told him I know it's not my place to be the one to break the news to him, but with how I found out about the relationship between Amy and my ex, I'm pretty sure he had no idea of that dynamic too. When I told him what my ex told and showed me, Matt told me he never knew about my ex BF and Amy never mentioned anything about my ex BF. He also understood where my anger is coming from and why I decided to break it off with my ex, because he felt the same way after hearing everything, Matt also mentioned how distant Amy has been, and how recently their relationship is rocky. I guess this was the answer he needed. We didn't talk long, to be honest. I only said what I had to say, and he thanked me for going out of my way to let him know what was happening behind his back. I'm not sure what will happen between them, and I don't know what Matt will do after this information. I honestly wish him the best. He seems like a great and kind person. Whatever he decides to do after what he heard from me, that is completely up to him. Both of us didn't deserve what we went through. I've also decided not to talk to Amy anymore. After talking to Matt, I just lost all my energy completely and I want to remove myself from the situation now. I have to heal and move on. I deserve to be happy. Thanks for everything, everyone! --------------‐--------------- Update 4 13 Nov 2022 https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/ytdhah/update_bf_has_a_work_wife_and_i_hate_it_the_real/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button [UPDATE] BF has a work wife and I hate it - the REAL truth [Edit: I saw some of my posts getting cross-posted to other subreddits, insinuating that this is all made up. if my posts bother you or if seeing me actively comment bothers you, please do yourself a favor and block me. People like you are the reason why others can’t safely vent in here and that’s so fucked up.] It's 1am where I am and I am still shaking. Please forgive me if I will somewhat be incoherent in this post. English is not my first language and I'm crying as I write this. I also know I said I won't post any update anymore, but I don't know who to talk to. I'm a mess. Matt texted me the worst news I could get after everything that happened. I never thought I'd be this affected even though at some point I thought of this scenario in my head. **He told me Amy and my POS ex really had an affair.** Both physical and emotional. Amy admitted that he and ex have been "f\*ck buddies" for more than a year now, and Amy does have feelings for ex. Amy did say ex did not have feelings for her and was only after the physical intimacy, and they'd usually s\*xt in snapchat. (probably why the messages shown to me were that way as that wasn't their main mode of communication) Matt also mentioned ex cut Amy off, and Amy wants to reconcile with Matt but he refused. (I asked permission if I can say this part here, he allowed me) Now I feel like I was right in walking away, but I can't really help but feel devastated. Even at the very last moment, POS really lied and even cheated on me after everything. I really don't deserve this but here's the truth and I have to accept it. I knew deep down that POS wasn't saying what really happened, and I'm glad I trusted my gut. I'm glad he can no longer hurt me after all this because I am so done. I won't confront ex anymore as there is no point. He'll just lie to my face again. I just need to get all my money from our account first thing in the morning later, and after that I won't contact him ever again and I will never allow him in my space. I'll look for a new place to stay in too, as I don't like the idea of him knowing where to find me. I feel like crap now. I can't even make myself stay in my place anymore as I remember all our memories. And the idea that ex had s\*x with another woman while he was still seeing me is disgusting. I'm sorry, I'm such a mess. I am angry. I am sad. I want to scream. I don't know what I need to do. I feel so overwhelmingly angry. I won't read the comments anymore as I know some shit fuckers out there will have something negative to say again and I am not in the right headspace to even read nonsense and insensitive comments. I just hope none of you will ever go through this pain and heartbreak. I feel for Matt. I hope he will be okay. --------------‐--------------- Relevant comments from OP Hi. I just want to come in here to tell you all I’m so very grateful for all the love and support you’ve given me. I appreciate people telling me to update how I am, and honestly I am not okay. I am still in the process of dealing with all this that I would like to take some time off for me. I may not be able to respond to messages since reddit sometimes doesn’t allow me (idk why) but please know I see it all and I truly appreciate every single one of you. Please know I see you and your comments—both the bad and the good. I’m still so blessed that most of you who’ve read my situation are kind hearted people, and that you are a lot more than those who bring others down for no reason. I honestly don’t have any reason to waste my time and to come in here to make up lies but so many others believe I’m just milking this off for the clout. I wish this was the case, so I at least know my heart is okay. I really am not okay. But not everyone can understand that people don’t act the same in every situation, and not everyone deal with issues the same. It’s okay to disagree with me, but don’t be such an AH about it. If I see anyone invalidating me and my story, you will be BLOCKED. Amy also reached out to me, and her message is sitting in my message requests. I don’t think I’ll ever open that message. I’m also no longer updating this thread and this post will be the FINAL update as I am overwhelmed and stressed. If you genuinely want an update, feel free to message me and reach out. I’ll try to share what I can. After all, you’ve been with me on this journey. I will only give updates to genuine people who are concerned about me. Many people have also called me out and said that this situation is a lie because of how fast things turn out to be. That is beyond my control, and I share in here what’s happening minutes or hours after it happened. How is that so wrong, and how does that become a lie? Some people are just so good at making others miserable. That’s just sad. ------------------------------- Marking as concludes although OOP has commented the ex is trying to manipulate them back into the relationship and the challenges of cutting them out. I truly hope the OOP sees the manipulation and toxic nature of their ex and manages to stay strong and move forward, given the updates though concluded felt appropriate.

My Boyfriend has a work wife and I hate it

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bluecheesywheel

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yzr55j/my_boyfriend_has_a_work_wife_and_i_hate_it/

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I (29F) think my SO (30M) is poisoning me, but I am not sure and I don't know what to do

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I (29F) think my SO (30M) is poisoning me, but I am not sure and I don't know what to do

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I'm volunteering at the finish line at Boston for the first time. Anything I should know?

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OOP's wife gave him chlamydia, OOP gave her divorce papers.

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What are the appropriate clothes for a nanny to wear to work?

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OOP - My husband of 19 years cheated on me at his work party.

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AITA for choosing my niece over my daughter?

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I (30m) rejected one of my best friends (28f) that I used to be in love with

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I (30m) rejected one of my best friends (28f) that I used to be in love with

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[deleted]

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z04pfs

[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuje53/aita_for_not_giving_24_hours_notice_to_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) posted by [u/OccasionWilling4170](https://www.reddit.com/user/OccasionWilling4170/) on Nov 14, 2022 I'm new to reddit but my husband advised that I post here and is helping me write this. I am a mother to a 20-year-old daughter. She is a junior in college and attends school in the same city that we live. My daughter and two of her friends live in a condominium that I own. Her friends pay below-market rent while my daughter does not. The condo was inherited from my parents and it was their intent that I would pass ownership of it to my daughter when she is mature enough to own her own place. My daughter, husband, and I are in agreement that she will take over ownership of the condo when she is out of school and financially independent. Earlier this week, my daughter mentioned that she had run out of some household supplies and would have to set aside time to go shopping before the end of the week. My daughter's schedule has been especially rough lately, as she has picked up extra shifts at her part time job due to short staffing. Wanting to be helpful, I offered to pick up the supplies for her and drop them off at her place. She accepted. The next day, I picked up the supplies and took them to the condo. I knew my daughter was in class, so I knocked and, when no one answered, let myself in. The front door opens into the living room. When I entered, I found one of my daughters roommates being intimate with a man on the living room couch. I was obviously mortified, so I left the supplies at the door and left right away. I didn't say anything to my daughter about what happened because I didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position but I did let her know that I had dropped off the supplies. On Friday, I got an angry email from the roommate's parents. I'm not sure exactly what they were told but their email lambasted me for invading their daughter's privacy. They said that what I did was wrong because I'm their daughter's landlord and I entered the condo without giving 24-hours notice. They're threatening to take legal action if I do it again. I am vaguely familiar with this requirement, but didn't think it was applicable here. Was I the asshole in this situation? I feel bad about what happened but I also don't feel like I was out of line. Edit: My daughter was aware that I was coming to drop off the supplies and asked that I leave them in the kitchen, which is adjacent to the living room. Edit 2: I am not asking for judgment on whether I violated the law. I checked in with a friend who is a lawyer and he thinks that, because my daughter gave explicit permission to enter the home and drop off the supplies, I'm in the clear. I am asking whether I was the asshole for doing so. Verdict: NTA UPDATE in the same post: I called and texted my daughter asking to discuss the situation. She can't speak to me right now because her roommates are fighting and she's mediating, but she is aware of the situation and sent me a quick explanation. My daughter had notified all the roommates that I was coming over but Roommate 1 apparently forgot. The man she was with was Roommate 2's boyfriend. She freaked out and contacted her parents because she was scared I would spill the beans. I still don't know exactly what she told her parents but I assume it wasn't the full story. I have never met Roommate 2's boyfriend, so I didn't know it was him. Roommate 1 and Roommate 2 are fighting now and, needless to say, Roommate 1 will be moving out. I will be writing a more comprehensive, formal lease for Roommate 2 for both my protection and hers but, in all honesty, Roommate 2 is wonderful and I do not anticipate that there will be any problems.

AITA for not giving 24 hours notice to my daughter's roommates before dropping something off

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I regret leaving my wife for my GF. I don't know if I have the right to ask her to take me back

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