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How can I help my girlfriend? | My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay. | After stopping the abuse of alcohol, depressive symptoms are common. She may benefit from exploring why she wants to move and see if she would still want to move if she did not feel depressed. 12 step meetings can also be helpful. |
How can I help my girlfriend? | My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay. | You should start by speaking with her about what has her so down. Have their been some significant events in her life that have affected her? Have their been significant events in your relationship that can be affecting you both? If she just stopped drinking, she may be struggling to finding an alternative and healthier behavior. This is something the two of you can explore together. Also, if need be perhaps she can speak to a therapist to discuss her feelings about quitting alcohol. It sounds like you really care and right now she could use all the support she can get despite her pushing you away. |
Can i learn to be happy alone? | I'm dealing with an illness that will never go away and I feel like my life will never change for the better. I feel alone and that i have no one. How can I overcome this pain and learn to be happy alone? | The power of acceptance is key! Changing your attitude to one of more a positive
outlook as we as finding things,
activities, places you enjoy and that uplift your spirit. Doing what feels good
and finding joy in all things. You may enjoy this very short video Break To Rebuild |
Can i learn to be happy alone? | I'm dealing with an illness that will never go away and I feel like my life will never change for the better. I feel alone and that i have no one. How can I overcome this pain and learn to be happy alone? | Is it possible that even though your illness is chronic, that it goes through phases in which you are more comfortable and that it requires less focus from you than at other times?I think the idea of having a lifelong illness is frustrating and can be depressing to think about. Thoughts are not necessarily the truth of what will actually happen though.Illness makes negative situations look worse so be sure you are concentrating on specific areas of your life and not just assuming they will work out badly because you are ill.One way to be happy alone is to love and appreciate, nurture and be kind to yourself.This frame of mind may generate new answers to find ways of being among other people too. |
Can i learn to be happy alone? | I'm dealing with an illness that will never go away and I feel like my life will never change for the better. I feel alone and that i have no one. How can I overcome this pain and learn to be happy alone? | I'm so sorry you're feeling like things will never get better. Try to remember that whatever illness you are dealing with, you are not the only person to have dealt with it and you are not alone! Out there, just waiting for you, is a group of people that will totally understand what you're going through and will be able to share how they coped. Try searching for a support group for your illness - google and www.psychologytoday.com are both good places to start for those groups. |
How can I deal with my posttraumatic stress disorder? | I feel angry, anxious, and depressed. The PTSD I suffer is from a past relationship. | I second the suggestion to find a therapist who is trained in Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)!I'll also add that all you describe is very common in PTSD. Emotionally, it's an exhausting condition and can take a lot of energy from the body. Depression is a common consequence of PTSD since many people experience functional repercussions (impacts in work, social, and familial settings). It's not fun to feel constantly terrified. To search for a therapist trained in what you are dealing with, it could be helpful to specifically search for folks who specialize in treating PTSD. You can do that through Google searches, or you can also head over to Psychology Today and Therapy Den. Both sites are therapist directories where you can narrow down the type of therapist you are looking for, as well as other factors like insurance they accept and location.You are on the right track coming here so keep up the search! |
How can I deal with my posttraumatic stress disorder? | I feel angry, anxious, and depressed. The PTSD I suffer is from a past relationship. | If the symptoms are to the extent that they are affecting your ability to function, you may want to consider seeking treatment. PTSD, anxiety, and depression all typically respond well to treatment if provided by a trained clinician. Common types of treatment for PTSD that you may want to look into include Cognitive Processing Therapy or EMDR. The nice things about Cognitive Processing Therapy is that it is time limited and only lasts 17 sessions typically. |
How do I know if I have depression? | I had a very troubled up bringing and I'm currently dealing with alot right now. I know some people may not think so, but to me its a lot. I feel overwhelmed. Could this be depression?
I use to be in therapy as a child. Alll throughout elementry, middle, and high school I had counseling 2-3 times a week. I haven't be in counseling lately though. | Thanks for reaching out with this important question!To start, I'll say the diagnosis for depression can differ depending on what the context of those markers are. For example, depression is diagnosed differently if there's a bipolar element or if someone is withdrawing from drugs or alcohol. It doesn't sound like that's what you're experiencing, but those are just two examples of many. How that's diagnosed is a process that a therapist is best equipped to do in person with a thorough assessment. Sometimes we find that depression is subclinical, meaning it doesn't reach the typical level of "disorder" (that doesn't mean it's less important or worthy of care). Most of the time, diagnosis doesn't make a huge difference in treatment, but there are some disorders that need pretty specific modalities and components--for example, people with Bipolar I often need medication to help stabilize symptoms.I'd also say that, more importantly, you know yourself best. You are clearly trying to make sense of some things you are feeling and maybe how they are connected to some things you've been through. I can also see you are motivated to feel better! No matter what others think, your perceptions and experiences are most important. You get to decide whether or not your circumstances are a lot for you. Not everyone is built the same and that is certainly impacted by trauma and significant stressors in the developmental years. It's also not your fault that things are hard. You didn't ask for, nor did you create, your life experiences.Overall, if you know some of your healing may come from naming what you feel you can absolutely continue to seek out solid information (and maybe that will be with a counselor if that's what you desire). Kudos to you for asking this question here, too. You are dedicated to yourself whether you see it that way or not! |
How do I know if I have depression? | I had a very troubled up bringing and I'm currently dealing with alot right now. I know some people may not think so, but to me its a lot. I feel overwhelmed. Could this be depression?
I use to be in therapy as a child. Alll throughout elementry, middle, and high school I had counseling 2-3 times a week. I haven't be in counseling lately though. | What matters most is how you feel and what you're doing, with whom you're interacting, whether you feel you've got enough interaction to be happy.Whether or not a clinician would decide to identify you as "depressed" matters much less than how you actually are feeling, if you have some ideas as to what might improve your sense of being, and how to go about reaching your goals.If therapy during your childhood made you feel better and you feel you may be depressed, then trying therapy at this point in your life, makes sense.The worst that can happen is you find you feel better than you first understood.The best that can happen is you find a caring therapist who helps you find faith in yourself again. |
How do I make new friends? | In the past year, two of my best and only close friends moved to different states. Now I have nobody to hang out with. I'm always alone, and I honestly haven't hung out with anyone since they left. I'm super lonely. What should I do to make new friends? Because they moved and I have no friends now, I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I just need help. | I am sending your loving vibes as you weather this time when you are trying to find new friends. I want to share a video about this very concern. How To Make Friends As An Adult |
How do I make new friends? | In the past year, two of my best and only close friends moved to different states. Now I have nobody to hang out with. I'm always alone, and I honestly haven't hung out with anyone since they left. I'm super lonely. What should I do to make new friends? Because they moved and I have no friends now, I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I just need help. | Definitely it is sad to lose friends who are a regular part of daily life.How did you meet the two friends who just moved away? Its possible that you could look for similar situations and see if anyone catches your interest to know as a friend.Keeping in mind that friendship is based on trust and common interests, and that these qualities require time to observe and develop, think of what you can do to keep happy while these paths unfold.In addition to being open to meeting new friends, involve yourself in projects from which you'll feel satisfied by your own results. |
How can I stop feeling empty? | I feel lazy and numb. I have no interest in things. | The feeling empty could stem from various factors. Perhaps asking yourself what would help you feel full, what fills your cup, what does that mean to you for you? When were you last feeling fulfilled? What brings or has brought you joy? Have you read about, or researched what is called Dysphoria. |
How can I stop feeling empty? | I feel lazy and numb. I have no interest in things. | Maybe right now it is time for you to rest before the next wave of new activity comes along.To have "no interest" may mean you are already so saturated with recent situations and their meaning that you are naturally withdrawing in order to regain your energy. |
How do I stop feeling empty? | I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing. How do I stop feeling this way? | Why do I feel empty?Feelings of emptiness—a lack of meaning or purpose—are experienced by most people at some point in life. However, chronic feelings of emptiness, feelings of emotional numbness or despair, and similar experiences may be symptomatic of other mental health concerns, such as depression, anhedonia, or schizophreniaLIke I say seek to get a check up physically and mentally to see if there are any medical under lining issues. |
How do I stop feeling empty? | I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing. How do I stop feeling this way? | The feeling empty could stem from various factors. Perhaps asking yourself what would helps you feel full, what fills your cup, what does that mean to you for you? When were you last feeling fulfilled? What brings or has brought you joy? Have you read about, or researched what is called Dysphoria. |
How do I stop feeling empty? | I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing. How do I stop feeling this way? | A feeling of emptiness can cause depleting emotions to emerge. It would be important to identify the sources of emptiness.You may want to try to tap into more regenerating emotions. For example, you might want to think about what brings you joy or situations in which you experienced gratitude. Practicing mindful breathing can also help you take your attention away from distressing feelings. |
How do I stop feeling empty? | I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing. How do I stop feeling this way? | I'm going to start by saying that you are definitely feeling something otherwise you wouldn't want to escape or change these feelings of emptiness and nothingness. That's definitely a good thing--it means you care about how you function and want a more meaningful life.What do you think once filled that emptiness that feels gone now? Was it people? Do you feel you've lost interest in things you once enjoyed? Or do you feel overall numb that seems to have come out of nowhere? Sometimes our bodies abandon emotion in order to save energy when we feel overly stressed or depressed--it's a self-preservation mechanism. It could be interesting to explore what used to give you a feeling of "fullness" and/or let you feel a range of emotions. That could mean engaging in things that once gave you joy, or even watching a movie that once made you cry--just a few ways to reconnect with your emotional side.Bottom line is you are concerned enough to ask this question so there's surely emotions happening under the radar. Working through this can be a process, so make sure you allow yourself to go at a realistic pace. |
How do I stop feeling empty? | I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing. How do I stop feeling this way? | A feeling of emptiness can be from a lack of awareness and acknowledgment for the things, the people, the places that you have in your life. The use of affirmation and gratitudes helps to remind ourselves of all of the aspects of our lives. |
How do I stop feeling empty? | I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing. How do I stop feeling this way? | Your question is very broad because feeling empty can develop for many different reasons.You're certainly not alone in feeling this way!Try to follow the logic of your feelings by asking yourself questions about the empty feeling. Doing this may open up a discovery about the reason for the emptiness feeling.When do you feel empty, are there certain situations it happens more often than another, what helps the feeling go away, what or who is helpful in relieving the empty feeling.Sometimes people need a little help to get started in understanding how to recognize their feelings.Consider a therapist, any disciplined practice which encourages self-knowledge, such as some yoga practices, and a creative discipline like photography or music. As long as you concentrate on increasing your self-understanding, eventually you'll find the answer to your question! |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | First step always is to do a medical rule out so that you're sure the problem is psychological and emotion based, not a medical condition which requires care and attention.If you are medically clear in the reasons for losing your erection, then reflect on what may be creating a loss in confidence in either who you are and what you're doing with your life, or whether your wife has these sort of problems within herself.Often a problem transfers ownership of who shows it.If you are a sensitive person its possible your erection problem reflects your wife's insecurities and self-doubt. If she is someone who is reluctant to talk about feeling unsure then in a certain way by you showing a problem, she can avoid looking at herself.There may not be a direct cause such as usually exists in a medical problem.Medicine looks for symptoms to treat.Our emotional lives are much more indirect.If you feel stress at work or are unhappy in the place you live, for example, then your frustration may show up in your sex life.Basically, do a broad inward search of your life and what it holds and maybe ask your wife to do the same.You may clear the air within yourselves and between each other so the problem goes away. |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | When I'm working with men with this type of situation, I always suggest a medical examination to rule out any type of organic reason for a difficulty in maintaining interaction. In cases where there is no medical reason for the loss of erection, I find that many men have a similar situation in experiencing negative intrusive thinking during lovemaking. My counseling approach for this situation is to incorporate the use of mindful sex. |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | For starters, know that this is a normal experience for many men at some point in their lives. While this can certainly cause some embarrassment, a diminished sexual esteem or relationship problems, it is important to know you are not alone. I am going to move forward assuming that you have already checked with a medical professional to rule out any medical problems that may be related to this. Assuming that is the case, for most this happens for two primary reasons. It is either a short term biological shortage of blood flow to the penis. This can be caused my diet, lack of exercise, even stress. Another primary reason for loss of erections are anxiety. Have their been recent relationship issues? Are you feeling as though you aren't satisfied in the bedroom? These are just a few aspects that can cause subconscious anxiety and loss of erection. My suggestion to you would be to seek out a counselor that specializes in sexuality that can assist you in moving forward with this. Best of Luck! |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | This issue could come from
any variables. The pressure of being satisfying, or if you have experienced any
tension. Do you have any uncomfortable thoughts or is anything from your past
coming up? Had you been socialized to believe
certain things or did new beliefs come up?
What were your models of healthy relationships? Was anything of substance coming up around the
time this began? Some have found acupuncture to be helpful or even the Emotional Freedom
Technique (EFT). |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | Most men believe that getting an erection is just a given. However, research shows that men, even in their 20's and 30's can start to lose an erection sometimes. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that men don't know this and become extremely upset and fearful after losing an erection because they don't know that it is normal and happens sometimes. Anxiety, depression and stress are the biggest culprits to losing erections at an early age. Anxiety or nervousness constricts the blood vessels, decreasing the amount of blood flow to the penis, thus diminishing an erection. Other reasons may be possible also, especially, when this first happened. My assumption would be that anxiety and fear of being able to keep your erection is contributing to continued difficulty with erections, but the initial cause would need to be explored more deeply.Initial causes of losing an erection could be many things. Anxiety, depression, stress, tiredness, or any negative emotion can cause you to lose your arousal and thus lose an erection. Also, I would encourage you to make sure that you see a doctor to check off that their are no medical concerns. Diabetes or weight issues might contribute to the loss of erection and so can other medical concerns. If it is causing relationship difficulties, the last thing you and your wife need to do is argue about it or get angry or frustrated with each other. I would encourage marriage counseling to make sure your relationship and COMMUNICATION is strong, especially around the topic of sex. I good sex therapist can probably assess what the initial contributing factor could be. A doctor to do a full medical check-up to make sure there are no physical issues (especially testosterone levels). Finally, one thing I encourage is to get back to the basics. Make sure your relationship is strong, keep excitement and dating and spontaneity a large part of your relationship. Bring enjoyment back into your relationship everyday. And, don't stress about the erection. Focus more on ENJOYING your wife, her body, and the all the experiences that come with "MAKING LOVE" to her. I have known men that can't get an erection, but still enjoy sex with their wife. With that said, if their are no physical concerns, then it is all in your head. So, learning how to relax and ENJOY the action is key! |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | Erection maintenance is caused by connective tissue weakness as well as lymphatic stagnation of the area and accompanying channels. A proper detoxification is necessary to reverse the stagnation and get things flowing again.Lower circulation and pituitary might also be indicated.Medical will likely not recommend anything useful in the long term (pharmaceuticals do not solve a problem, only suppress it; and, it will return again later and worse than before);Certain herbal protocols and natural protocols would be very warranted in getting things going again :) |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | If you haven't already, please see a doctor. ED can be caused by any number of physical conditions and you need to get checked out. Once you have ruled out any physical issues that interfere with getting an erection, it's time to look for more subtle causes. Unfortunately, you may have gotten yourself into a mind set of "I hope I can, but what if I can't?" which is certain to interfere with performance.Again, rule out physical causes (can you tell I think that's important?), then talk with your wife about working together to find the right approach. It might be a good idea, for example, to take the pressure off by enjoying each other without intercourse. You can have great sex without penetration and you can have physical intimacy without sex, so slow down and experiment. You might find more pleasure than you expect when you can relax knowing there doesn't have to be a "finish line".Again, yes the third time, SEE A DOCTOR, just in case there's something going on. Once you get the all clear, find joy and spontaneity with your wife again by being creative and pressure free. |
Why am I experiencing dfficulty maintaining an erection? | A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? | Assuming there are no medical explanations for this issue, many men I've worked with on this come to see it as essentially a form of Anxiety. There is a phenomenon called the Yerkes Dodson Law (see below; source: Wikipedia), which basically states that if we feel either too much or too little stress, pressure, or nervousness about a task, it will adversely impact our ability to do carry it out successfully. The ideal amount of stress/arousal is right in the middle - not too little and not too much. This applies to more things than we might often realize - from giving a presentation, to ordering food, to making a free throw, to driving, to sexual intimacy as in this case. A common suggestion that many men find helpful is initiating open and honest conversations with their partners about this issue, and for a temporary period of time, agreeing to physical intimacy and sexual pleasure in other forms, and without the expectation of intercourse. There are many ways to go about that (which are outside the scope of this blog article), but this can be a path to connecting intimately and renewing physical bonding without unhelpful anxiety - and over time, can lead back to intimacy in all the ways that have become elusive. Best of luck. |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | Oh dear.From what you write, your husband doesn't have any interest to know about you and your sad feelings.Stay clear in understanding that you already did your part by asking him to listen and care about the way you feel.In this example, he told you he doesn't care.Its up to him to open his mind and heart to you.Depending on how motivated to continue asking him to hear you, try until you feel satisfied that you've given him enough chances to know who you are. At a certain number of tries at this, you'll either have success or not.Just don't try forever because doing so will increase your depressed feelings. |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | Are you seeing a therapist? Do you take your depression seriously? The seriousness of this is gauged by how he feels about it. People typically feed off our energy. You feel you are depressed and if you want to take massive action towards your healing, doing what is best for you regardless of others’ reactions to it will be key! He may not have any first-hand experience with depression or how to handle it. He could not know how he can help. Regardless your mental health is key and seeking the support you need to move forward in a progressive way is essential. Get the support you need and embrace he may or may not come around as you seek the support you need and deserve. |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | I'm sorry to hear that's how he's responding, that doesn't sound very helpful or validating of your emotions or respectful of your boundary to to communicate differently with you about your feelings and mental health. Ask if he's willing to read a book on communication with you (Gottman's "7 Principles for Making Marriage Work" is excellent!), or attend couples' therapy together so that you can work on building your emotional connection and have healthier communication. It's also possible that he's not willing to change his mind. Regardless of where he stands, you can always take steps yourself towards bettering your mental health and wellbeing - going to therapy, discussing medication with your doctor or psychiatrist (also have them do bloodwork to check your thyroid functioning, hormone levels, and complete metabolic panel to check for any vitamin deficiencies), moving your body in ways that feel good, spend time with friends doing something enjoyable or meaningful. |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | What he hears and what you say or think he hears maybe the issue. You could be on different wave lengths. He might see how you act when not understanding emotional support. There are ways to communicate differently to get a different reaction. How is it worded. There are energy medicine techniques to test what type you are and what he is. How to connect through energy work. 💕💕 |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | We cannot control how our partners will react when we ask for support. It is important to focus on what you can control, which is you. It is important to know what kind of support you need and lead with that. For example, "I don't need you to try and fix this, but I need you to listen while I tell you what I have been feeling. When I am done, a hug would be nice." or "I am feeling stuck and whenever I think about this issue I just get so sad, can you help find a solution." If we can tell our partner what we expect upfront, then it is more likely that you will feel supported. It is very empowering to know what we want and to ask for it! It may be hard to be direct because we want our partner just to know what we need, but that is not realistic. There are a few thinking errors in this conversation. Working with me you will learn all about thinking errors and how to replace them. |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | Hmm... so, what part about this do you want him to take seriously? That you're depressed and you want him to acknowledge it or that you want help for it? One way to help him to "take you seriously" is to take yourself seriously. Maybe actively working on the depression will show him that you are really depressed and it's not because you want to be or if it is, it is a mental health disorder, and it is serious. I would start focusing on you. Focus on what you want to see in yourself and make it happen. With depression, it is difficult to do for yourself, that's why there are therapists out here to help make that load lighter. I would talk to someone to come up with a plan to focus on yourself and then your husband if he doesn't get there on his own. So the first step is to reach out to a therapist to help you to come up with a better plan, or put all of the great answers you get together and implement them. If that isn't enough, then make the first step by calling a therapist to set up an intake and that first appointment to continue your efforts. Hope this helps! |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | It can become painful when we feel unheard and invalidated. Especially if this becomes a pattern in our communication, we begin to build walls and boundary ourselves more rigidly, letting very little of our authentic selves out. As many others have said, your husband may feel defensive at the fact that you are unhappy and may not know how to process that feeling. It may be that your husband isn't clear on what you need when you tell him that you are depressed. In these scenarios, it often helps to ask yourself what needs do you specifically want met? Do you need a listening ear to vent to, only? Do you need a literal shoulder to cry on, physical comfort and reassurance that "it will be okay."? Do you need feedback, advice, and guidance?Do you need to feel that your experience matters to your husband, and just hear him say "I see and hear you and you matter to me?" Do you need support in finding resources, or desire to seek therapy together with your spouse? When we're clear on our own needs, it's easier to communicate to our spouse without them failing to meet expectations that we may not have even known we had. If you are already seeking therapy for your depression, I encourage you to invite your spouse for a session so that your therapist can shed light on areas of your experience that your husband may not understand. If you find that this type of communication is a pattern in your marriage, seeking couples counseling will help solve that communication puzzle within your marriage and help you understand each other. |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | That's so tough that you are feeling unheard and unsupported in your marriage. Depression is already a grueling experience and doing it alone can feel miserable.It's hard to know what will get through to him because I don't know a lot about your dynamic. Has there been a time in the past he has listened to you? Does he tend to feel responsible for your emotions, whether or not that pressure comes from you? Men, by nature, tend to be fixers more so than women. He may feel as if you are asking him to fix you, when in reality you just want his support. Could defining what you are looking for help?It sounds like what you really want is to be validated by him. Sometimes clearly defining your needs can send a message that you aren't out to prove how you feel--you just want your emotions heard. That doesn't mean he will respond the way you want, but voicing your needs is so important in any relationship.The other option here is, of course, marriage therapy. Men do tend to shy away from this option, but it could help with the communication piece.No matter his responses, keep taking care of you. You are obviously dedicated to getting your needs met, which is a wonderful way to try to help yourself! |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some relationships may hit bumps in the road every so often, other couples find themselves in bigger trouble, with neither party knowing exactly how to fix things. What are the signs it's time to try relationship counseling?If you are in a relationship that is no longer feeling healthy, here are 5 signs that it may be time to try relationship counseling:1. There is No Longer Healthy CommunicationOnce you have a communication breakdown, you are unable to rationally share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other. Beyond this, unhealthy communication tends to leave one or both partners feeling depressed, angry and hopeless.2. Trust Has Been BrokenWhen there has been infidelity, it is very difficult for the couple to rebuild trust and repair the damage. While there is no magic pill to recover from an affair, a therapist can offer tools and strategies to rebuild trust.3. You’re More Like RoommatesIf you and your partner act more like roommates than romantic partners, this indicates a lack of intimacy and a potential need for professional help.4. One or Both of You Has Begun Acting OutYou try to mask your real feelings for as long as possible, but then you start to act out the hurt and resentment you may be feeling. For instance, if your partner has been unfaithful and you have agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out. But over time you find yourself lashing out, acting rude and trying to make them believe you are having an affair so they will feel the same kind of hurt. This acting out is unhealthy for both people and is a BIG indicator you need to seek some help.5. When the Only “Solution” Seems to be Separation/DivorceA break from negative energy can be very helpful to the relationship. But when a temporary break leads to more and more time away from home and someone renting their own apartment, this indicates a need for counseling. Spending time away from home usually doesn’t lead to any real resolution, just more distance.If you and your partner are interested in exploring options, reach out! Schedule a free consultation with our in-house relationship expert to discuss how they may be able to help. |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | Ouch. It's really hard to deal with a spouse that isn't taking you seriously. In this case, I would plan for and schedule a time to talk with him about this. I would tell him that you need about 30 minutes to talk to him with minimal interruptions about something that is important to you. Schedule a time, write notes if you need reminders about what you need to express, and tell him how you feel. Ideally, you would focus more on I-statements instead of telling him what he is doing wrong. For example, I feel ignored vs You always ignore me. By focusing on how you feel, he is less likely to feel attacked and get defensive. Some people go to couples or marriage counseling for help with communication. Chances are there are things that BOTH of you do that hurts your communication. Overall, try to talk to him directly and try not to get defensive. If he continues to say, you're always sad - then stay calm, say "okay, can you help me understand that more?" or "That's interesting. Tell me what you see." Reach out to a couples counselor for more help with communication strategies. Sometimes a 3rd party can help you both see things in a different perspective. Hope this helps! |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | This is so hard. It is hard for someone to understand what depression is without having experienced it themselves. Unfortunately people without depression sometimes mistake it as feeling sorry for ourselves or just moping around, which is not what depression is at all. Sometimes I think that it is easier for family members to see it as a choice than to admit that someone they love is hurting and they dont know what to do. If he is willing, I wonder if there may be a depression support group in your area such as NAMI or DBSA where he could hear from from others living with depression and their families. If not, I wonder if you all might watch a documentary together such as No Kidding Me Too or Call me Crazy. If not that, ive sometimes encouraged folk to just leave some information on depression and how family can help like a pamphlet or handout on a table or around the house. We tend to get curious and read things we find on the table. Wishing you the best! |
How can I get my husband to listen to my needs and talk to me? | I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | It can be hard for husbands to hear that their wife is unhappy. By nature men tend to be more of the fix it type. So if they are sad, they fix it. If their wife is sad, they fix it. He may feel helpless to help you and that may be why he is saying those things to you. It's not that he doesn't care or that he doesn't take them seriously, he might just have no idea how to help. I would start by making an appointment to talk with a therapist about your sadness. Meeting with a therapist may help you to learn some tools and strategies that can help you to manage some of the sadness you are feeling. A therapist can also help you to gain some understanding and insight into why you might be experiencing sadness. Depression is not something you have to sit with, therapy can help. Once your husband sees that you are being proactive in addressing your sadness/depression he will probably be more open to listening to you and supporting you. He might start to have ideas and input on how you two can work together to change some of the situations or things that might be holding you bakc. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is a term that reflects how many people are affected by the changing seasons, especially fall to winter. Everyone suffers with some form of this (lessened activity levels, increased isolation, etc.) while some find that this time of year can put them into a deeper depression. If you have noticed that this happens frequently, there are some ways you can definitely help yourself going forward:1. Attend therapy to learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood. It's important to stay within the therapy until you feel you have mastered these tools. 2. Push yourself to interact more with your social groups and other positive activities. It's easy to go out and spend the day outside in the summer months, when the temperature is warm and the sun shines for long periods of the day, but it seems harder to find fun ways to spend your time when the temperature drops and darkness comes on so quickly. Perhaps winter time could become the time of year where you and your friends have weekly board game nights, complete with hot chocolate and a fire?3. You may want to consider the purchase of a S.A.D. Light. These are lights that expose you to additional ultra violet light to increase the vitamin D in our bodies, as well as the release of growth hormone (which releases when we wake up). There are mixed reviews of these products, however, and they can be expensive. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | I would suggest some holistic approaches, such as getting your Vitamin D and iron levels checked. Make sure you are eating well, exercising, and getting outside when you can. Take a trip to someplace warm if possible. Use a sun lamp in the morning for 30 minutes to simulate sunlight. Seek professional health to gain coping skills and other ways to manage symptoms. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Thank you for sharing. It seems like since the "winter blues" happens to you every year it may also be impacting your quality of life and possibly relationships. What you report sounds like you may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and is quite common to many from about fall thru winter seasons; but, also can impact folks during the Spring and summer months.The best care and treatment for SAD includes discussing it with your PCP (primary care physician), integrating light therapy (full-spectrum lighting) throughout home and workplace (where possible), psychotherapy, and possibly medications (e.g. Wellbutrin XL, Aplenzin).Be sure to exercise good self-care and checkout the Mayo Clinic's website for SAD here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/con-20021047. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Light therapy is very helpful. You are not alone. The name for the condition is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). You might want to see a therapist to assist you putting in place a behavioral program to help change the way you feel. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | I can understand the winter blues can truly be a hurdle in your life. I wanted to share these two videos that could be beneficial in your search to combat your winter sadness. The REAL irritation behind Winter IllnessHow to feel held, holiday warm, at home, nurtured, in a winter wonderland! |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | The winter blues can be really tough to deal with, and are quit common. Because the winter blues can be caused by a variety of things, if you have not been evaluated by your healthcare provider I highly recommend you do so. Here are some key tips I use to help individuals cope with the winter blues:1) The winter blues can be caused by the seasonal invariable fluctuations in daylight. Using light box therapy is one way to help. Light box therapy mimics outdoor light. Researchers believe this type of light causes changes in the brain that lifts your mood and eases other symptoms of the winter blues. All light boxes are designed to do the same thing, but one may work better for you than another. For some, the use of light box therapy may be more effective when combined with other treatments for the winter blues such as counseling and/or medications for depression. it is always best to talk to your health care provider about choosing and using a light box so the treatment and dosage is right for you.2) Keep a consistent routine that does not vary with seasons, vacation, feeling well or feeling bad. Consistency is key to keep a stable mood. Keep consistent with sleep and wake times, the times of day you eat, exercise, and socializing with others. The more consistent you can be the better. Your brain knows what to expect from you and when.3) Exercise! Exercise is not only great to help you sleep better and shed pounds. Exercise is also the world's most underused anti-anxiety and ant-depression tool. When you exercise your brain literally releases its own (endogenous) chemicals to alleviate anxiety and depression such as serotonin (a common substance in anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications). Exercising every day is giving yourself a dose of your body's anti-anxiety and anti-depression substances, which is amazing.4) Sleep is a huge predictor of mood. In fact, sleeping longer than 7-9 hours per day is a strong predictor of a depressive episode. Just as insomnia and depression are intimately related. Consistently practicing sleep hygiene is key to preventing a mood episode. The more consistent you are the more you will go to sleep and stay asleep during the times you want to. This includes 1) going to bed at the same time every night; 2) waking up at the same time every morning (even if you slept poorly the night before); 3) avoiding naps, but if you need a nap it is best to do so every day around the same time before 2pm and to not nap for more than 30 minutes; 4) using the bed for sleep and sex only (so, no TV, no computers, no smart phones); and 5) limiting caffeine to no more that 250 mg/per day (two 8 ounce cups). The phone app Sleepio is a tool that can help you adopt the above steps. If you are having trouble adopting or maintaining this routine, see your health care provider or counselor for further evaluation and help you get on track.5) Limit alcohol intake and other substances of abuse. Most of which "depress" your nervous system. When you add a depressant to an already depressed nervous system, even though you may feel temporary relief, you create a ceiling for how much your mood will improve. For specific guidance on "safe drinking" guidelines see the CDC's Facts About Moderate Drinking at: https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/moderate-drinking.htm.6) Keep your social life. Positive social support is the strongest and most robust tool we have to cope with stress, low moods and adversity in life. Social support can be a friend you know will pick of the phone when you call. It does not have to be someone that is nearby. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Seasonal depression may be something you are experiencing. The great thing is that every fight can be won with a plan. You can create a game plan for what do to or where to be during this season. I would connect with someone to create that plan. Implement it when the winter season comes again and see if you have the same results as last year without having a plan. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | I am glad that you are getting ahead of this by noticing this seasonal pattern to your depression. Winter depression (seasonal affective) is something that affects a lot of people both people who also deal with other kinds of depression that happens to get worse in the winter as well as people who just deal with depression in the winter. Light affects how our bodies release and absorb neurotransmitters such as serotonin and most believe that a major contributing factor for winter depression is that we get less light when it is colder outside and darker outside. Exposure to light can make a big difference. If you are someone who is awake during the day (not someone who works the night shift :) )---one simple change you can make is keeping your curtains in your bedroom light enough as to let some light in in the morning. This will give you light right off the start of the day and can make it easier to get going in the morning. Beyond this, keeping windows cleared from blinds so that you get that natural light or even taking a short 10 or 15 minute walk each day can get you both light and exercise to help fight off the depression. Outside this, as others have suggested a light box is a popular method of warding off the depression however some of these may expose you to UV light and so this is something to check in with both with the light box manufacturer and with your doctor to make sure you have a good understanding of the risks and benefits for that. Lastly, just making sure you continue to do things that lift your mood, that you have time with other people, and that you reach out if you do find yourself in a space of needing help are all things you can do to ward off the depression. Wishing you well! |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | This is actually pretty common. When winter hits, we tend to find ourselves huddled inside from the cold. Not to mention the sun is out for a much shorter time. It will be helpful to get as much sunlight as possible. Get outside when you can. Open up the blinds and drapes. Use a sunlight if you want to (amazon has some for reasonable prices). Stay connected to friends and family. Try to engage in activities that make you feel positive, productive, and connected. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Cold climate is often accompanied by grey skies, snow and
ice. The elements along with wind, windchill and severely cold temperatures may
lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and low energy. For some people these
symptoms occur each year from late fall to early spring and may be suffering
from a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Whether you have
been diagnosed with SAD or are finding yourself struggling with the “winter
blues” for the first time here are some suggestions for feeling better and
staying healthy.1. Nutrition Most likely you have
heard the term “comfort food.” These foods and snacks are high in
carbohydrates, sugar and fat. Avoid overeating cookies, cakes and candy. Chose
vegetables, fruit and protein for snacks and plan balanced meals. If you find
yourself wanting to eat or snack throughout the day, ask yourself why you are
eating. Are you hungry? Or Are you eating because you are bored?2. AlcoholKeep in mind that alcohol is a depressant so consuming wine,
beer or liquor when already feeling sad, anxious or depressed will only add to
your symptoms. Do not consume alcohol while engaging in outdoor activities such
as snow removal, skiing, or ice fishing. If you find yourself reaching for an
additional glass of wine or beer be mindful and ask whether you are doing it
due to boredom. Instead of mindlessly taking another glass of alcohol, drink a
glass of water. 3. SunlightGet
out in the sunlight or brightly lit spaces, especially early in the day.4. Be activeIf you are unable to go to your favorite gym, exercise class
or go for a run, find a way to stay active in your home. There are a lot of
short, instructional programs available on YouTube that you can follow to do
some gently yoga, dance, or do strengthening exercises using only your body
weight.5. Reach out for help
Confide in someone you trust about how you are feeling. Do
not hesitate to contact a counselor if you feel that you are becoming more
depressed and anxious. If you experience thoughts of suicide call the National
Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | First of all, it is excellent that you are self aware and able to identify the pattern to your moods. Many people suffer from the winter blues, which is called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Some people notice that during the Fall and Winter months, they tend to struggle with signs and symptoms of depression such as sadness or hopelessness, lethargy, sleeping to much or too little, changes in appetite, loss of interest in usual interests, and possibly suicidal thoughts. It would be best to consult with a therapist experienced in this disorder, as they will be able to guide you towards possible solutions such as changing negative thought patterns, light therapy, exercise, nutritional support, and possibly medication. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Many peope uffer from changes in mood when the winter time comes. The amount of daylight hours decreases significantly. Most times it is dark when you go to work and dark when you return home. There are special lights that can be used during the winter season to counteract the "winter time blues." Also, paying attention to self care. Are you sleeping enough, attending to physical illness? Exercising and eating a balanced diet? Make sure to schedule fun activities and spend time with loved ones. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | About 3 million people in the United States suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Seasonal affective disorder or seasonal depression occurs during the same season every year. You might have feel feeling depressed the past two winters, but cheered up during the warmer months. Or you may have felt down during the summer.Everyone could get seasonal depression, but it tends to be much more common in :People who have families who have SADWomenIndividuals between 15 and 55 years oldIndividuals who live in an areas where winter daylight time is very shortNo mental health experts are exactly sure of what specifically causes SAD, but many think lack of sunlight is a big trigger. This lack of light could mess up your circadian rhythms or cause problems with serotonin which is the chemical that affects your mood.You might be wondering if you have seasonal depression or SAD. Here are the symptoms:Feeling grumpy, sad , nervous of having mood swingsAnhedonia or lack of pleasure in things you normally loveEating much more or less than usualGaining weightSleeping a lot more than you normally do, but still feeling sluggingDifficulty concentratingIt is so important to look at SAD in a holistic manner before getting diagnosed. In addition to therapy, it's crucial to see your doctor so she or he can run blood tests to rule out any other conditions that may be making you feel blue. One of these common ones is hypothyroidism or low thyroid. At Makin Wellness, we could do the mental heath assessment .TreatmentThere are multiple ways to help treat seasonal depression. Light therapy can be used, but counseling is one of the most effective ways of treating SAD. Cognitive behavioral therapy with a skilled therapist can help you learn more about seasonal depression , how to manage your symptoms and ways to prevent future episodes. Medication can also be prescribed and taken to help alleviate some or your symptoms. Antidepressants such as Zoloft, Effexor and Wellbutrin are most commonly prescribed for SAD. Be sure to talk with your doctor and therapist about any side effects from your medication. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | One theory is that instead of "fighting" your feelings, accept your sad feelings and work with them. Feeling sad may open many doors to reflect and make peace with the source of your sadness.Also, I believe fighting against the natural cycle of rest and hibernation may not even be possible to succeed. Winter for most creatures is a time of withdrawal and slowdown. Our bodies and moods are part of nature as well. Fighting what is part of nature seems like a tiring fight which the person will lose.Last point, there are the winter holidays to break up the dark and cold of winter. Maybe you can invent some of your own winter celebrations so you'll have a few gatherings to look forward to hosting. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Sometimes its quite literally the lack of sunshine that can affect our mood - in these cases it can be worth experimenting with a sun lamp, to boost your dose of vitamin D, when the sun isn't naturally out. Also consider, what is it that the change in weather, changes in your life? If for example, when its sunny you are an outdoorsy, active person and when the weather changes, you're whole activity level changes along with it, you could explore how to get some of that activity replicated indoors in the winter months. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Change your total daily routine, different route, different lunch, different afternoon. Sit outside for 10 minutes three times every day, use a therapy light during the day, aroma-therapy oils for stimulation, but....keep your routine bedtimes and wake up times......and exercise at least 3 times per week, if after several weeks you are not feeling better....talk with your doctor. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | Seasonal depression can be difficult due to the weather being a primary trigger. Understanding that we have very little control over the weather, therefore we can focus on the things we can change. Exercising, meditation, guided imagery, and deep breathing can be beneficial to combat seasonal depression. It may help to join a support group and seek out therapy to assist you on this healing journey. |
How can I best fight the winter blues? | Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? | There can be lots of different factors contributing to this. Here are some possible tips:Consider if you know anything about what specifically is making you feel sad? If you're looking for activities because you cannot participate in what you like to do in the warmer months, consider finding some indoor winter activitiesConnect with others. One idea is to join a group (such as a book club) that meets regularly. This could give you something to look forward to regardless of the colder weather.Enjoy the sunshine from indoors. You may notice that sometimes looks are deceiving women is bright and sunny outside, but is also quite cold when you open the door. If you are staying inside for the day, consider allowing yourself to enjoy the sunlight without specifically considering that it is also cold.Consider using a light box. Certain types of light boxes are designed to help with the "winter blues." You can find more information here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/light-therapy/home/ovc-20197416Recently, one of the nurse practitioners that I work with has been checking a lot of vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels and she says the lower levels of these vitamins can contribute to feelings of less motivation or energy than is desired.Each of us has days when we are not thrilled about the weather and may be feeling sort of "bummed" or "down." If you find yourself having these days frequently or for several consecutive days in the above strategies are not helping, consider talking with a therapist about more specific strategies that may be of help to you. Also, because if everything you would see is likely to live in your area, they would be familiar with the weather patterns where you are and may have some tips that they use for themselves or With other clients. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Dear there could be under lining issues maybe even medical. Energy Work and a good check up could help. Maybe even try Reiki ...professional like myself offer services distance that can help with this. But first go get a good check up. family doctor, blood tests, CAT scan, hormones, women....... always consult your doctor first or if you need immediate help contact a crisis hotline I also would suggest this BOOK to read. If you want something to listen to or practice try this Program. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Hello, and thank you for your question and seeking advice on this. Feelings of worthlessness is unfortunately common. In fact, most people, if not all, have felt this to some degree at some point in their life. You are not alone. Changing our feelings is like changing our thoughts - it's hard to do. Our minds are so amazing that the minute you change your thought another one can be right there to take it's place. Without your permission, another thought can just pop in there. The new thought may feel worse than the last one! My guess is that you have tried several things to improve this on your own even before reaching out on here. People often try thinking positive thoughts, debating with their thoughts, or simply telling themselves that they need to "snap out of it" - which is also a thought that carries some self-criticism. Some people try a different approach, and there are counselors out there that can help you with this. The idea is that instead of trying to change the thoughts, you change how you respond to them. You learn skills that allow you to manage difficult thoughts and feelings differently so they don't have the same impact on you that they do right now. For some people, they actually DO begin to experience less hurtful thoughts once they learn how to manage the ones they have differently. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy may be a good choice for you. There is information online and even self-help books that you can use to teach you the skills that I mentioned. Because they are skills, they require practice, but many people have found great relief and an enriched life by learning them. As for suicidal thoughts, I am very glad to read that this has not happened to you. Still, you should watch out for this because it can be a sign of a worsening depression. If you begin to think about this, it is important to reach out to a support system right away. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. The text line is #741741. I hope some other colleagues will provide you more suggestions. Be well...Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | First of all, it’s a strength that you are openly seeking help for this problem. As others have said, it would be best to get a therapist you can work with because as humans we heal in relationship with others. Here are a few things I would explore and suggest working on:1.) Questions to explore: When did you start feeling worthless? Why do you feel worthless? What does it mean to be worthwhile? Where are these beliefs coming from? How are you measuring your worth? 2.) Check the facts: are people TELLING you that you’re worthless or treating you like it? If so, start setting some boundaries, communicating your feelings, and/or get those people out of your life. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. If you believe you’re worthless even if you’re treated well by people you’re surrounded with then...3.) start to challenge the belief that you’re worthless. Start to cultivate the belief that you’re worthwhile regardless. Is there any part of you that can believe it, even just a little bit? Spend time focusing on this each and every day. 4.) do things that help you build confidence and mastery. Find something you enjoy and want to get better at or learn more about. Invest time in learning a new skill and practice being patient with yourself.5.) practice mindfulness. That involves being non-judgmental and curious rather than criticizing yourself or emotions. 6.) do something that makes you feel like you have a purpose- even if it’s small Iike visiting some lonely people at a nursing home or volunteering at an animal shelter. It may seem small but it matters a great deal to the one you helped!I wish you all the hope, healing, and happiness you deserve! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | First thing I'd suggest is getting the sleep you need or it will impact how you think and feel. I'd look at finding what is going well in your life and what you can be grateful for. I believe everyone has talents and wants to find their purpose in life. I think you can figure it out with some help. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | It sounds like you are having some pretty severe depression. Depression can cause insomnia, and make a person focus on their own perceptions that they are "worthless". It is important to remember that other people may not truly perceive you as worthless. This is the depression talking. I think that it is extremely important when you are this depressed, to sit down and write down some positives about yourself. What are your strengths? What are some positive things that your have done in your life? It concerns me that you are having suicidal thoughts. It sounds like now is the time to act on the idea of getting some help for yourself. If you feel like you might actually take your life, I would recommend that you go to a hospital emergency room, or a mental health crisis clinic right away to get some help. The most important thing right now is to keep yourself safe. If you are feeling like you are not going to hurt yourself despite your suicidal thoughts, I would recommend that you focus on finding a therapist as soon as possible. I don't know what your situation is in terms of insurance. The back of your insurance card should inform you how to obtain mental health services. There are also low cost services available with such places as Catholic Charities, and others. Your local county mental health agency should be able to refer you to some appropriate places. Good luck. Remember to identify your strengths, and the good things about yourself. Marie |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | If everyone thinks you're worthless, then maybe you need to find new people to hang out with.Seriously, the social context in which a person lives is a big influence in self-esteem.Otherwise, you can go round and round trying to understand why you're not worthless, then go back to the same crowd and be knocked down again.There are many inspirational messages you can find in social media. Maybe read some of the ones which state that no person is worthless, and that everyone has a good purpose to their life.Also, since our culture is so saturated with the belief that if someone doesn't feel good about themselves that this is somehow terrible.Bad feelings are part of living. They are the motivation to remove ourselves from situations and relationships which do us more harm than good.Bad feelings do feel terrible. Your feeling of worthlessness may be good in the sense of motivating you to find out that you are much better than your feelings today. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I know feeling worthless is very hard to handle. You are valid! Has anyone who you value and respect, said you are worthless? Working thru how you can begin to feel worthy within yourself. To self-generate within yourself how valuable you are, and invest less time in what others think of you. No one gets to decide the sum total of your worth other than you. Practicing self-love and compassion, grace towards yourself, and feeling confident within yourself could be a crucial step towards feeling more worthwhile. List something you are good at and have been complimented on. Also this video Self-Esteem & Worthiness Affirmations - Remember Your Worth and Value could be beneficial. Perhaps engaging in some thought/pattern interruption, where you Interrupt the thought, focus, redirect elsewhere, somewhere more positive, thinking on times, events, activities where you felt worthy and capable. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Hello, I'm sorry that you experiencing a very low moment in life. Sometimes we all go through life circumstances that can be challenging, traumatizing and overwhelming. On reading this question, it sounds as though you have gone through some hardships that have made you question what your sense of self in what belief, value especially about yourself. It sounds as though you are emotionally overwhelmed and stuck and now you are overthinking. You may be depressed and you may need to talk to someone professional about your condition. Processing past hurts maybe somewhere to start especially identifying the pain, hurt, anger, loss among the other emotions you may be feeling. Again you may need to talk with someone so you do not feel defeated in your efforts. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Hi there - Here are some things for you to consider:First things first - its much more likely that You feel that you are worthless to everyone - not them thinking that. Its hard to think or perceive beyond our own mindset. It is doable but with practice and assistance. Often what we think/believe about ourselves is NOT what others think or perceive. This is a thinking trap known as mind reading. I have a blog post on my website about this. Second, although what you are describing sounds consistent with depression, know that you - with professional help -- can positively effect how you feel and perceive yourself and your surroundings. MANY others have felt similarly and have gotten betterThird, be curious about your situation. Ask yourself, "Am I sick and tired of being sick and tired?" If so, then ask the next question, "then why have I Not gotten around to doing something about it?" If not tired of being sick and tired, then ask yourself, "why not? And do I REALLY want to feel this way for life?" Depressed folks generally do not prioritize themselves to seek - and sustain help. Hence, why you said you "never got around to it" all the while feeling down and blue and not able to sleep. Here is another question to ask yourself, "If I were oozing blood or pus from a cut and it would not stop - would I seek help?" If so, why then, but not now in this situation? Fourth, seek a live licensed mental health professional NOW. I understand you never thought about suicide before, but that was before. Suicidal thoughts and tendencies can be sudden and automatic. Depression is one of the main drivers for suicidal ideations and attempts. This is a nice first step to gain insight. Take the next step, to seek help. Ohh, I understand it can be a maze in finding help - some ways to do it are:- If you have health insurance to their site and use a keyword search for depression- Read some of the information and see which one connects with you a bit more - No health insurance, go to Psychology Today or this site to see if someone is in city (or state if online therapy). Search by depression- Also if having a major issue paying for therapy - go to a church counseling center or non profit to see if they have reduced rates. They can be staffed with interns but they are all supervised by seasoned clinicians - and that help is much better than what you likely have now. A motto I have - partially from my grandmother - is Know Better. Do Better. Live Better. You are in process of knowing. Continue on. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | You need to seek counseling/psychotherapy ! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Feeling worthless is a hard feeling to have. How do you carry this with you all the time? The question is what is getting in the way of you "fixing" this one? This definitely is about how you feel about yourself. Try some Brain/Bodyspotting Therapy, to help heal the deep limbic system, since that's where your emotions live anyway. Hope this helps. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Short answer: YES.Feelings of worthlessness can have many sources. Some examples: feeling like you don't measure up; repeated experiences where you were told you were worthless; abrupt life changes; and depression. Once those thoughts start, we often latch onto them for dear life because they serve a purpose and actually help us in some way. A big key to starting the journey to self-acceptance and self-worth is to understand why you feel worthless. Where the heck did these thoughts come from? Get curious about it. Once you start to understand where these invalid thoughts are coming (I know these thoughts are invalid for a fact because I, a random therapist on the internet, cares for you and knows your worthy. So, take the jump and start exploring that intricate noggin' of yours. You've got this! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | How we feel is often connected to what we are thinking. If you pay attention to your patterns of thinking (self-defeating thoughts, negative self-talk, etc.) and reframe or replace unhealthy thoughts, you most likely will be able to change how you're feeling, which will also lead to changes in behavior. I support clients in going through this recognize/replace process. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | The sense of being worthless appears to certainly be a limiting belief about yourself that you have been cultivating. One way to transform a limiting belief to a more adaptive and empowering belief would be to explore if there exists any evidence to support the limiting belief about worthlessness. First list all of your personal strengths, or talk with a supportive friend who can give you feedback about the qualities you have that they love about you. You may soon discover that there is little evidence to support your limiting belief. You can also experiment with asking yourself- supposing I believed the opposite of my limiting belief? The theorist, Karen Horney used to say that each individual has a unique universal inner power which represents a fountain of the growth process. I encourage you to tap into that inner power and develop new, empowering ideas about who you truly are. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | You can absolutely change that feeling, which is actually a combination of thoughts and feelings. These types of thoughts are classified as core beliefs because they are typically beliefs about who you are (e.g., I am a bad person, I am unworthy, I am incompetent, etc.). Shame is a cluster of feelings that accompanies these beliefs (a combination of self-hatred, sadness, disgust, and guilt). Although you can't make them go away completely, you can definitely shrink them. These beliefs have actual neural pathways in the brain--the more you travel these pathways, the stronger the belief. One way to fight these is by creating strengthening neural pathways that lay more dormant, such as beliefs that you are lovable, worthy, and deserve to be alive. Even if you don't believe these thoughts, thinking them creates competition with the core beliefs you want to change. The more you travel the new neural pathways, the stronger they will get over time.I understand this can take time and feel really tough to do. Something you can do to deal with your feelings in a more short-term way is to focus improving your sleep. As you are probably experiencing, lack of sleep can contribute to worsened depression. Your primary doctor may be able to help with your specific sleep issues but there are some ways you can work on sleep on your own. Something you can try is writing down the worries or thoughts you have before you lay down for the night. This can help the brain to feel less inclined to ruminate as your paper/journal holds the thoughts for you. It also helps to have a nightly routine that stays the same every night. This tells your brain to start producing chemicals that induce sleep, just like going into a restroom can signal the body to urinate. If you find yourself lying awake in bed or waking in the night, leave the room and do something calming/relaxing if you are awake for more than 10-15 minutes. It can be tough to change your body's relationship to sleep, so give it time--it can take a few weeks to really notice changes.One of the best strategies we have for dealing with depressive symptoms is behavioral activation. That could mean socialization, exercise, or anything that gets you doing an activity you wouldn't normally do. If exercise seems too intimidating or unrealistic, you can just view it as movement--anything that gets you up and moving. Taking walks outside, gardening, cleaning, etc. can count as movement. It's easy to surrender to the lack of energy, but that also keeps the cycle of depression alive.Medications can help as well if you feel like you need something beyond what you can do for yourself at the moment. Antidepressants are great options for depressive symptoms. Research shows that combining psychotherapy with antidepressants can have really effective outcomes.I'm unsure if your sentence about not contemplating to attempting suicide means you don't feel that way now or that things are moving in that direction. If they are, make note of your social supports and who you would be willing to reach out to. If you have someone you are comfortable (enough) to let them know what you are going through, it may be worth your effort to have them plan to check in on you. You can also contact the Hopeline by texting HOPE to 741741 or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Hello and thank you for your question. In my work with clients who are experiencing depression due to low self-esteem, it is not uncommon to experience the myriad of symptoms that you are having. You have already taken the first step toward change by acknowledging that it needs to occur so congratulate yourself. One way to begin to change your feeling of being worthless to everyone is to change your "self-talk". You may have learned this negative language (ex. use of absolutes like always, never, all the time, everyone, and no one) throughout your life and being mindful of this language and being specific (ex. at times, some times, etc.), can help lessen the feeling of being "worthless." Another step to remedy this is to learn ways to become more compassionate with yourself. Attending a support group could help with learning self=compassion. Joining a support group could also help you see that you are not alone in how you feel, thus helping you to feel less isolated and less uncommon. Lastly, seek out professional assistance from a therapist, counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc. Some insurances are waiving co-pays (depending on your plan eligibility and benefits) during the COVID-19 epidemic and if you do not have insurance, try out OpenPath.org. They offer low cost online (telehealth) counseling to those who are in need of it. Remember, you are NOT alone. This feeling is all too common, but with the right help, support, encouragement, and resources, you can turn this feeling of "worthlessness" into a feeling of "worthiness". Best wishes. Valerie Kuykendall-Rogers, MA, LPC-S |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Therapy is essential for those that are feeling depressed and worthless. When I work with those that are experiencing concerns related to feeling of depression and issues with self esteem. I generally work with my client to help build coping skills to reduce level of depression and to assist with strengthening self esteem, by guiding my client with CBT practices. CBT helps with gaining a better awareness of how your thought process influences your belief system, and how your beliefs impact your actions and the outcome of your behaviors. This process isn’t easy but it helps teach an individual that we don’t always have control over what happens in our lives but we can control how we interpret, feel, and behave. CBT is good for individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, toxic relationships, stress, self esteem, codependency, etc. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I first want to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings and there is always someone there to help. You can always change your feelings and change your way of thinking by being open to trying to change. You can always make yourself available to learning new things or volunteering so that you can make a purpose for yourself. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Heck, sure thing, hun!Feelings of 'depression' have a deeply-rooted base in physical structures that may not be functioning very well at present; and, we can certainly turn them on again using means that you are able to find around the house and with relative ease :)After that, emotional and spiritual support will be liberally applied. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | You are exhibiting some specific traits of a particular temperament type. Seek out a counselor who provides NCCA temperament therapy and discover the joy of being you -- God loves you as you are! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | That is intense. Depression is a liar. Sometimes depression places these glasses over our eyes, these dark sunglasses that change how we see things. Depression tells us things like "you're worthless" "no one likes you" "don't worry about doing anything." And it is so easy for us to listen and to be tricked into thinking that just because we feel something means it is true. Please know that even if you are feeling worthless right now, that doesn't mean you are worthless.The first step to working through this is recognizing what is going on. Recognizing when depression is telling you the same story (ie; being worthless) with different words (ie worthless here, worthless there) and making an effort to talk back. While I can not give you a diagnosis of depression, reading what you are going through, it sounds like you might need help to get back on track. Seeing a counselor can open an entirely new option up wherein someone who is not involved in your life can help you without judgement and with an objective perspective. This can do wonders in unwrapping these kinds of thoughts. Wishing you the absolute best! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | It sounds like you may be putting yourself last. You wrote that you want to fix your issues but never get around to it. I wonder how you are spending your mental and physical energy. Are you spending time taking care of and doing for others? I also wonder where the thoughts and feelings of being worthless are coming from - are you around people who treat you poorly or are hurtful? Or do you feel it is more of a worry you have but aren't really sure how others feel? It may be helpful to talk to someone about your feelings - a counselor perhaps - to clarify your feelings and move forward from se that are hurting you. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | It must be really difficult to experience what your going through right now. It takes a lot of courage to reach out. It sounds like you want to get better, but perhaps need some help to get over the hump. Many of the symptoms you have described are consistent with a person who is dealing with depression. Depression is a treatable condition. Typically, if these symptoms have persisted for more than two weeks, then it is a good idea to seek professional help. Someone who is trained in dealing with depression. Initially, a comprehensive assessment would be completed to rule out any other causes for your symptoms and to determine the exact nature of your presenting concern. Then, in collaboration with one another, a tailored treatment plan would be developed, focusing on how to best help you reach your goals. The good news is that their is hope for getting better! You don;t have to do it alone. Allow me to be your ally in healing. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | People who feel worthless were, in one way or another, were told that they are worthless. This is the lie that they are living with. The work of therapy is to help people see their true good selves. This gives them self esteem. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this intense emotion of worthlessness. I'm glad to hear this has not reached the point of suicidal ideation; however, it does sounds like you could use some additional support right now. I would recommend seeking out counseling to help you challenge the negative beliefs you have about yourself. Although many types of therapy would be helpful, cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown to be a good approach for this type of struggle. A CBT therapist can help you identify your negative thoughts and beliefs, figure out the ways your thoughts are being distorted (for example, all-or-nothing thinking, or discounting the positives about yourself), and reframe your thoughts to be more positive. You might also consider EMDR therapy, which helps the brain reprocess traumatic or distressing memories and helps you move forward with more positive beliefs about yourself. Best wishes! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | It sounds like you may be struggling with depression. Depression can make you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed to change. I would suggest that you connect with a provider who can help you get to the root of where the worthlessness is coming from and help you develop a plan for recovery. In the meantime, small steps can go a long way. Self-care interventions such as journaling your feelings, mindfulness meditation, and regular exercise are all helpful to reconnecting with the present moment and gaining internal motivation. Focusing on one day at a time and bringing your thoughts back to the present can also be beneficial. There is hope! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm glad you are interested in changing your feelings of worthlessness. Visiting your doctor is a great first step to address your lack of sleep. First, you want to make sure that you are physically healthy and that there isn't a physical condition causing your problem with sleep. Changing your feelings is something that is difficult to do, especially on your own. Make sure that you have someone you can trust and you can talk to about how you feel. This can be a friend or a family member. If you find that there isn't anyone you would feel comfortable talking to about this issue, find a therapist close to you who can help. One activity that people have found helpful in feeling better about themselves is keeping a gratitude journal. You can do this by journaling daily about the things that you are grateful for. There is no right or wrong way of doing this, as long as you focus your journal entries on the things you are grateful for in life. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | You have
several things going on here. The sleep should be addressed with a primary care
physician to rule out any physical issues. Sleep is the big reset and allows us
to function in the day. What happens during a depression is that our thoughts
race and it is as though our “brain won’t shut off.” Medication can help with
this. I also use a Pranayama yoga breathing technique called the four
fold breath which has great usefulness for relaxing us and often does work quite well with allowing
us to sleep.. You can read about it here: https://billleavitttherapy.com/breathing-techniques-the-four-fold-breath/Your
thoughts on feeling worthless to everyone fall under a heading of thinking
error in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) known as overgeneralization. In CBT
thoughts lead to emotions, so we are going to pick the statement apart and then
reframe it. First list
the evidence that contradicts the thought. Has anyone in the past made positive
comments toward you? This might be hard to recall if we are in a rut, but at
some point in life we frequently have had some positives expressed towards us
by others. “Everyone” is an absolute. The
specifics on why you are thinking this need to be addressed. How are you
arriving at this conclusion? There may be specific people that we want more
validation from. Or specific people might have made offhand hurtful comments, (such
as a family member, teacher or co-worker) but if I extrapolate that to a global
and think that everyone thinks I am worthless, that thought is not rooted in
facts.
What are
the Pros and Cons of thinking this way? What are the Benefits and Costs? There
are very little pros or benefits to thinking this way. It’s just going to
continue to tear you down and make you feel bad. So can we reframe the thought
about the situation? Is there another way of looking at the situation? Again,
we need the specifics on how you are arriving at this conclusion, and a one on
one therapist can definitely help you with this, but the thinking that you are
using to arrive at the conclusion needs to be re-cast into a more helpful
mindset. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Hello, you sound like you have so much on your mind! I am relieved to hear that you have never tried or have contemplated suicide, but not being able to sleep, feeling worthless, and like you shouldn't be here are big issues that need addressing.Please get around to counseling. Having someone to listen to you is a gift to yourself. You deserve the help of someone helping you change your feelings of worthlessness. You have not been able to do this alone. It's time to reach out for help. You can do this! Best to you! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | You can, for sure... and the first step is to believe you are worthy TO YOURSELF. Recognizing you are in a quest is already a big first step. Taking the time to start figuring out who you are is definitely the next... do so with SELF COMPASSION and kindness. Know this is a process and just look forward for what you might find. I do recommend you find someone to talk to (there are many options out there that can fit the situation you are in), and I also recommend you start by giving yourself the importance to invest some time and effort in this quest. YOU DESERVE IT. There are some excellent TED Talks you can google, great books you can read, or even joining a yoga practice, team or some kind of hobby may help. Anything that shows yourself you are worthy of this effort. Have patience and start!!!! the answer is out there waiting for you. Asking these questions already set you on the right path. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Oftentimes we can change our feelings about ourselves by building a better relationship with ourself. It sounds like there is a very critical aspect of your self that is alive and taking over. Sometimes when we are stuck it is because a part of ourselves, a way that perhaps we learned to cope with difficult situations earlier in our lives, has decided to run the show. Like a highly critical part that may actually be desperately attempting to protect us from a past hurt. Slowing down and even forming a relationship with this critical internal part will help you get some space from it. When we can begin to observe parts of ourselves, be curious about them, get to know them like a new friend, then we have room for other ways of being. Beginning therapy could be a great way to change this feeling of worthlessness. Beginning to build a better relationship and understanding of yourself will deeply influence the relationships around you. This first step may feel hard, to reach out to someone, and it could be the beginning step to a path of radically shifting your relationship with yourself and others in your life. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Feelings of worthlessness often originate from what you learned about yourself when you were young. Improving your self esteem needs focus on that original message from parents, teachers or siblings that may be suppressed. Most of us need help to uncover the "lie" because you were born valuable! |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | The feeling of being worthless is caused by your inside being not matching your outside result. Your comparison to others and you thinking you need to be someone other than who you are. You are not worthless. No one is worthless. You need to find your worth and not let yourself talk yourself out of the good you find in yourself. I hope these words resonate with you and that you start looking for your worth even if it’s as simple as I am able to get out of bed and call someone and make a joke. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | Hi there, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Let me see if I can guide you in the right direction. Often when I talk to my clients about feelings of worthlessness we start with a little bit of self-exploration. We start with noticing. Start to notice when these feelings come up for you. Is there a particular time
of day, a specific person who brings it out, a phrase you hear? Just
start to notice. Usually it's tied to something but it may take a while to figure out what that something/someone is. Try to be patient.Next we start to explore. When did these feelings start? Where do you think they come from? Is there something - a statement - perhaps that repeats in your head over and over again? If so, whose voice is it? These are difficult questions, and just a few of them, so take your time answering them. (We usually do it over a few sessions.) It might even be helpful to write them down somewhere. If you have a journal that would be a great place as research has shown that our brain works differently when we put pen to paper versus typing on a computer. Now comes the good news. Our brains are able to rewire themselves. This allows us to change habits we don't want as well as statements we say to ourselves that are no longer serving us. The next step is to select an ally. Someone who is or has been in your corner, someone who is always rooting for you. If you don't have someone like that, that's ok - a lot of us don't - you can just make someone up. Close your eyes and try to describe that person in great detail from the way they look to the way they act to the way they sound. Now, pick a phrase you would like that person to say to you whenever you start to think that you're worthless. Something that will help you feel better about yourself - a characteristic, a skill, a great joke you tell, a physical attribute. This also takes time and may involve you asking for help from someone who knows you.Once you have all of that together - the noticing, answers from where these feelings and statement(s) come from, your ally, your new statement, you can try to put it altogether. When the feelings come up, notice what is bringing them up and then call upon your ally to try to change the statement in your head from the self-defeating one to the more positive, uplifting one. I hope this was helpful. Again, I do this with my clients over quite a few weeks, if not months, and I am there with them the whole time. It is quite an involved process and can bring up a lot of very difficult feeling/memories. If at any point you find it too hard to go at alone, please seek help. If you take anything away from this reply, know that there is help out there and that it is possible to change the way you feel. |
Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? | I am sorry you are feeling this way. We all have narratives that we say to ourselves whether it is valid or not. In your case it would be beneficial to explore when and how this belief began and rewrite your story. There are different ways to explore and rewrite. This process requires commitment, self-reflection and courage. |
I'm seriously unhappy with everything in my life but I know I don't have any reason to feel this way | I can't even smile or fake one. I can't feel happiness about anything and I can't show love towards another person not even my girlfriend. I hate myself sometimes. All I see is ugly.
I can't get over the loss of a loved one and I'm not close to my family. What can I do? | Did
this begin around the time you suffered the loss of your loved one? You have my
deepest condolences. Perhaps the grief
around that is what is the root of your being unhappy. |
I'm seriously unhappy with everything in my life but I know I don't have any reason to feel this way | I can't even smile or fake one. I can't feel happiness about anything and I can't show love towards another person not even my girlfriend. I hate myself sometimes. All I see is ugly.
I can't get over the loss of a loved one and I'm not close to my family. What can I do? | Trust and believe your own feelings.Emotions are real and reflect how someone feels about a situation.Since you're sad about losing a loved one, be patient w your feelings about this. Basically, be guided by how you feel and eventually you will feel different emotions which I hope will be happier ones. |
How can I stop treating people badly? | I feel like I'm so alone. I treat people horribly based on what's going on in my life and don't realize it. It ends up pushing them away, especially the ones I love the most. I have a weird feeling deep down inside, and it won't go away. I feel like I'm collapsing. | Give yourself a little more credit for self-observation!You wrote about treating people horribly and not realizing it. Only if you truly didn't realize what you were doing, then you wouldn't be able to write about it.A little self-examination goes a long way.You have some basic clues about yourself, such as pushing people away whom you love.Start with reflecting on the reasons for your behavior, especially any fears about a negative result from opening your heart to another person.The weird feeling you have is also an area to self-reflect and theorize about. From what you write, you have a solid awareness of your feelings. This is the place to start understanding more about your hesitation in relationship with others. This type of work can be done alone or with a therapist. |
How do depression and PMS symptoms contribute to one another and what can I do about it? | I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life? | This is something that would be really awesome to get your healthcare team to collaborate with you on. Discuss medications and any lifestyle adjustments with your primary care provider (PCP); have your PCP do a full bloodwork up to check vitamin levels and thyroid functioning; have your OBGYN or PCP check your hormone levels and make any necessary adjustments or referrals to other providers to help support correcting any hormonal imbalances (possibly an endocrinologist); consult with a registered dietician to see if there's any dietary adjustments you can make to better regulate your hormones and mood. Listen to what your body needs as your cycle changes throughout the month! |
How do depression and PMS symptoms contribute to one another and what can I do about it? | I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life? | Have you ruled out anything medical? Having a balanced life takes some time and commitment. Sounds like you're ready, but you need someone to help guide you. I would find someone you connect with here. Besides that, check out this app, Brainwaves if you have an iPhone, if not, there's a brainwaves app on the android that helps with your internal brain frequencies to help you to feel better. There are 35 Binaural programs to choose from (iPhone app). The other thing is to create a new routine, incorporating meditation. A good program to follow is NEW START (Nutrition (What are you eating, is it benefiting you?), Exercise (Even a 30 minute Brisk walk is helpful), Water (Are you drinking half your body weight in ounces?), Sunlight (If it's still scarce, look for some Vitamin D to supplement), Temperance (Do you need Mental Health support, like working with a Therapist or Counselor?), Air (Are you getting fresh air in your lungs?), Rest (Are you getting restful sleep?), and Trust (which means Trusting in something bigger that you)). This is a daily thing to do. Hopefully, this helps! |
How do depression and PMS symptoms contribute to one another and what can I do about it? | I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life? | That's some tough stuff to be dealing with. Have you ever tracked those highs and lows? I often have clients graph out those changes to see what kind of patterns show up. You obviously are very insightful already and maybe having a visual of what you know can help you prepare for some of those lows. Another curiosity I have is if you have seen your primary provider about what your body is going through. It's hard to give individualized recommendations without knowing more about your symptoms, but reaching out to your doctor could be a way to advocate for yourself. Do you ever feel manic when you have a lot of energy? How long do the "highs" last? Do your highs interfere with sleep? And what impact do your lows have on your functioning? Sometimes I have clients get checked out by a doctor to rule out physical issues that could be underlying the intensity of their symptoms. PMS definitely fits in this category, but it's always possible there's some other imbalance (e.g., lack of certain vitamins, thyroid dysfunction, etc.). Your doctor could even help collaborate with you to find some methods to deal with the depression/PMS.With the research we have on hormones and their impact on the body, it's pretty crystal clear that exercise has a huge benefit across all levels of emotional dysregulation. It has immediate positive impacts in the brain and body, and keeps the body running efficiently. Same with sleep--it's one of our most underrated functions. If you think of it like a house, your foundation represents those basic functions. If your foundation is shaky, it's going to be tough to support the rest of the house. Exercise is hard to push through, but it's really just those first 10-15 minutes that feel the worst. And you don't have to start somewhere super intense--even walking is wonderful for the body.Hope this helps a bit! |
How do depression and PMS symptoms contribute to one another and what can I do about it? | I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life? | It's fun to ride the roller coaster from time to time, isn't it? :)But, it's also weary-making, and leads to drainage that no man or woman can hardly anticipate!Balance comes with proper understanding of the different bodies you possess and how they function.And, to begin, we focus upon your physical, and move right up the latter to the spiritual, and begin cleaning you out.Unbalance is an experience of blocked energies that should be naturally flowing (call them what thou mayest); when blockages are removed, what is naturally there flows, and flows beautifully... |
How do depression and PMS symptoms contribute to one another and what can I do about it? | I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life? | Are you certain your highs and lows are directly related to your cycle? It's possible that there are at least some contributing factors, even if they are as a result of hormonal fluctuations.For example, at the start of your period, do you have that "I feel great" feeling, or are you tired and down? Mid-cycle (assuming your periods are regular), do you find yourself napping or ready to run a race? Either way, how you feel may be leading you to behaviors that contribute to your changes in energy and optimism. Let's say that the few days before your period, you feel cranky, bloated and want salty food. Your natural inclination might be to isolate, stay inside and eat chips. The next day, you feel even more tired, cranky and bloated. It STARTS with a hormonal symptom, but what you do with that can change how you end up feeling. So if you notice feeling cranky, bloated and craving salt, what if you pull up a restorative yoga video online, spend an hour being restful and centered in your body and have a good meal with a healthy balance of fats, proteins and carbs, with fresh veggies and fruits before you turn in early to give your body the rest it is asking for ? That sets you up to feel MUCH better!And those "on top of the world days" - who doesn't love them?? But even those days, be mindful of how you are treating yourself. Exercise for sure, but don't do twice the workout you normally would just because you can! You might feel super energy and skip meals which sets you up for poor sleep and feeling crummy after a day or two.All that aside, if you have a couple rough days before your period, pay attention to what is bugging you. Christiane Northrup, MD, likens our menstrual cycle to the tide. When the tide is out (just before your period), you see all the garbage cluttering up your ocean floor, but you don't have the energy to address it, so there it stays, bugging you. At the height of physical and emotional energy (usually mid-cycle/ovulation), the tide is back in and you don't see all that annoying stuff you saw before. Since you have good energy at this time, take advantage of it by doing some "clean up" on the things you saw there when you felt crummy. Maybe it's that conversation you have been putting off with your partner, or having the long-delayed closet clean out, or searching for a job that feels/pays/fits you better. Whatever it is, those "PMS blues" may hold important messages for you.If taking good care of yourself, staying tuned in to your needs and keeping an eye on the "tides" don't help, then see your doctor. Something else may be going on - our hormones all work together like a symphony - it only takes one to be out of tune to throw the whole thing off! |