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10ugp04 | Lease clearly states tenants are to keep the "peace and quiet" of the home and not create any nuisances that will disturb other tenants.Roommate "Emma" has been been loud noisy sex for 4 months now with her BF. When I say loud, I can hear her panting like a dog while they screw through the wall. I can't even sit at my desk when they are together because my desk will ricochet off the wall while they are fucking. This occurs around 3-4x /week, and we are all grad students--so we are all pretty busy and studying. Another roommate had already spoken to "Emma" about keeping the noise level down in Dec. It's now Feb, and the noise level hasn't changed.Also, "Emma" has made a copy of our house key and given it to her boyfriend. Boyfriend now lets himself in when she isn't there and stays in the house even after she leaves to go to school. As an all-female house, its pretty inconvenient because don't feel comfortable walking around in a towel anymore. And like I said, he is here 3-4 times a week from 4pm-the next morning.Confronted "Emma" and her response is that "she pays rent." I drafted an email to landlord with screenshots from the lease. My other roommate is also willing to corroborate these facts. WIBTA for getting her evicted?​Edited to add:The house is rented out by room. So Emma being evicted would not effect me/drive up my monthly payments. My other roomie who is frustrated and I both plan on going the landlord and threatening to break our leases if something is not done about this issue. I would also like to state that I have 0 problems with the other roommates who occupy this dwelling.​The exact phrasing of the words in the lease is:"Tenant is entitled to quiet enjoyment of the premises. Tenant and guests or invitees will not use the premises or adjacent areas in such a way as to create a nuisance by annoying, disturbing, inconveniencing, or interfering with the quiet enjoyment and peace and quiet of any other tenant or nearby resident" | WIBTA for convincing my landlord to evict my roommate? | NTA |
10v5h9s | My sister was recently widowed. She was in a very tulmutous relationship with a man who was very mean to her. He also had a drug problem so they were always broke. She has left him many times over the years and always went back to the dismay of me and everyone else who helped her. The last time she left him was on xmas eve. I told her id support her & the kids until she found a job and was able to support herself.. well shortly before new years he passed away. They had two kids together and a large house that had been left mostly neglected. I have tried to be there for her emotionally as well as financially. I told her I would have her back and ive tried to stick to that. The bills at this house are expensive and she doesnt have a job. She has the opportunity to go back to work for a union she apprenticed with before, but she says that she doesnt have a babysitter for the kids so she cant do that. (6 & 3 yrs old) meanwhile, i am struggling financially myself. I drive a truck for a living and at the sake of making myself look like a total jerk i am only there 4 days a month. I do not feel like i should be obligated to pay all the utilities (500 a month avg) for a place i am at 4 days a month. I know she has kids. And i know this is a difficult situation but she has the ability to get out of it plus she will have approx 2600 coming in for survivors benefits because her husband was on disability when he passed. AITA for not wanting to be a good sister & stay in this and tell her its not my problem? | AITA for telling my sister to figure it out | NTA |
10ukyod | For the last 4-5 years, I have been living closer to my grandparents. My grandma was diagnosed with dementia in that time, and it has gotten worse. However, it is the issues with my grandpa that have caused me to want to do this, which includes the following -blaming me when another relative doesn’t return his call -calling me 7-8 times when I don’t call him back -will pretend that he cares about our conversation, then the next time I call him, ask me if I think he really cares with what I have to say -Makes fun of my clothing choices; when I was heavier, told me I waddled around. -Expected me to be at his beck & call when he needed simple things such as running to the store to get a card. I finally put the hammer down & said I’m tired of how he’s treating me and he is stressed and I think it would be better to put my grandma into assisted living. Because of that above statement, he exploded on me & told my uncle he wants to talk to me less. I’ve been told by other relatives to be patient & understanding and that there are always two sides to every story, he’s old and dealing with a lot. There have been many more instances of verbal abuse not listed on this, but I feel what I’ve shared is enough. I recently met a guy I really cared about & knew I had to make a choice, because if I didn’t let this situation go, it would impact my relationship with my new guy. I’m struggling, and trying to reconcile that I made the right decision, but I’m not sure FYI-my grandpa is my grandmas caretaker and he is of sound mind. He’s taking his anger out on me. TL;DR walked away from grandparents who were verbally abusive | AITA for making the decision to no longer help out in caring for my grandparents? | NTA |
10u788e | My mom's boyfriend has been around since I was 12. I was a messy kid. I mainly contained myself in my room, because I felt anytime I left I always did something wrong. Accidentally leaving a wrapper on the kitchen counter. Taking a shower and not drying the wet floor. I just couldn't do anything right. My room was messy, because I felt I couldn't leave it, and I was ashamed of my existence. For all his grievances, he would never confront me. He would just yell from whichever room he found traces of my existence in, in a volume I could hear behind my closed door. I'm 22 now and I visit my mom on the weekends, as I have two (half) brothers ages 3-6 that I care about a lot. In regards to my mom's boyfriend, I don't like to acknowledge him--he will say hi, and I usually deflect by saying hi to my brothers instead. I came home around 8pm, and--in addition to the usual cast of mom, mom's boyfriend, brothers--my aunt was there. For the most part, my mom's boyfriend stayed in the living room, while my aunt, mother, and I hung out in the kitchen, only really interrupted when my brothers wanted our attention. It was a nice night. Eventually, my mom's boyfriend puts the kids to bed, and so us three decided to drink some alcohol. We're a few drinks in when he decides to join us in the kitchen. At this point, the alcohol is hitting me; my recollection is a bit foggy here, the combination of alcohol and rage. My aunt was talking about something related to politics. My mom's boyfriend, with a smirk I saw as condescending, says "Oh, don't believe everything you read." Me and my aunt inquire, what do you mean?Mostly, I remember he said that "I don't believe Columbine and Sandy Hook happened." I flipped out. I said something along the lines of, "How can you say that when you have two children? I hope this doesn't come back to bite you in the ass. Or her!" Pointing to my mom, who was silent. Then I either call him an outright idiot, or say that what he's saying is idiotic. In return, he mocks me. Does these ranting and and raving liberal motions with his hand, while making baby whines to imitate how he thinks I sound. And then he says, "You know what, I just won't talk anymore." And I say, "Good! I am tired of hearing your mouth. My life would be better if you never spoke to me again." I walk towards him, tell him to get out of my way, as he's blocking the doorway. He says something like, sure, I'll get out of your way. I go to my room, grab my bookbag, shoot a text to my partner asking to pick me up.Before I walk out the door, I stop to put on my shoes. My mom tries to stop me, tells me that I don't have to leave. I tell her, No. You did this. I think I even point at her for drama before I leave. That's kind of where I'm at right now. I think generally it's bad form to call someone an idiot, but I don't really regret it. Should I, though? AITA? | AITA for calling my mom's boyfriend an idiot and telling him it'd be better if he didn't speak? | NTA |
10uxrz5 | I am graduating high school in June of 2023 and am only allowed to bring 4 people to my graduation. My family is currently trying to convince me to allow my father to attend my ceremony, while I do not want him there in the slightest.I have been no contact with my father for 2 years after my parents divorce, especially after finding out he cheated on my mother with my bestfriends mom (his current gf now). He is a narcissist and has broken multiple of my boundaries in the past years, he caused my high school life to be hell by reaching out to my teachers behind my back to get info on me since I didn’t speak with him. I had to switch to a self directed school as to prevent him from accessing my school life as easily as public schooling. This change has been the best but hardest thing I have ever done as I have no friends at school due to switching in my grade 12 year. I refuse to allow him to attend any of my sport games or performances as I believe he doesn’t deserve to see my accomplishments after he ruined me. The same goes towards my graduation, I don’t want him to get to witness this huge accomplishment after wrecking my passions and my will to live over the past 2 years. I can go into details about the abuses I faced while living with him and why I am now no contact. My family says that since he was there for the first 14 years of my life, he should get to see my grad, while I believe he shouldn’t because he single handed flipped my life upside down and ruined the “highschool dream”. | AITA for not wanting my dad to be at my graduation? | NTA |
10uuah5 | For context: I (26F, we'll call myself Bree) don't shave my legs or armpits (I don't do my armpits all the time, really).So over the weekend, my mom and I went shopping and we went to try on shoes. I sit down on one of those cushioned seats that shoe stores have and lifted up my pant leg to try on a pair of boots. My mom saw my leg hair. "Bree, you don't shave your legs?" "Uhh no, it just takes up too much time." "That's disgusting." It was uncomfortable, but whatever.Then we stand in line at a pretzel place and I stretch with my arms up. My mom takes my t-shirt sleeve and fucking yanks it open and sees my armpit hair. Y'all. She flipped the fuck out. She about had a heart attack over some damn hair. "Bree, that's disgusting, you need to shave." "Okay will you stop commenting on my body please?" "Well you're a woman. Women need to be sanitary and clean, we have different grooming needs."The thing with my mom is that while she says all of this bs, *I'm the only one out of both of us who showers regularly*. Yes, you read that right. My mother, who is nagging me about not shaving, does not shower regularly. She also *doesn't wash her fucking hands after using the bathroom*. Very seldom do I hear the bathroom sink running before she leaves. She also smokes like a freight train and wears the same pyjamas every night. Her and I both work at a hotel, I'm a housekeeper. We both have to do very labor-intensive work and recently we've had the honor of taking out allllll of the trash in the hotel. We had to push a cart full of leaking garbage out to the dumpster. This woman did not shower when we got home and wore the same work pants on that she wore when we took out the trash, the next morning.Well, yesterday, we had some friends over for dinner. We started talking about Bath & Body Works sales and the like and someone mentioned how she thought they should have men's shaving cream. Oh boy, here it comes. I saw it coming. "Hey, that's what you need, B!" Cue confusion from everyone. One of them asks "wait what?" and mom goes "yeah, she doesn't shave her legs or armpits. We were at the mall the other day and I saw all the hair she doesn't shave." Everyone turns and looks at me in disgust. Embarrassed immediately, red-faced, felt like crying.So, feeling cornered, I snapped back. Here's what I said, quote:>Oh okay and who's the one out of both of us who takes showers regularly? We came home from work the other day after handling nasty, leaking trash and she didn't take a shower. Mighty bold coming from someone who doesn't wash her hands after she uses the bathroom.After that, I left from the dinner and went to Texas Roadhouse by myself. I got an influx of texts, saying how I didn't have to do that, I should've just changed the subject, now everyone's quiet, etc. I got back home and my mom didn't say a word to me. When people ignore me, that's when I think I made them mad and that's when I start to feel guilty. I still feel guilty even though I apologized. AITA? | AITA for exposing my mom in front of friends? | NTA |
10v2vun | 3 years into this thing, my parents still double mask, glove up and socially distance everywhere. When I lived at home, I had to follow their very paranoid rules (I'm talking washing groceries and dodging maskless joggers), but I moved out a few months ago and have since restarted my life.I wore a mask to public indoor places until now, where I now feel comfortable to completely forgo one. Telling my parents this, they freaked out, especially since my dad's birthday is in two weeks and I "won't be able to come over to celebrate maskless" like we did for the holidays.According to them, now I've become selfish and shortsighted because they'll never be able to hang out together again without masks, and we probably can only meet outdoors from now on. AITA? | AITA for not caring about going to my dad's birthday party? | NTA |
10v4yiu | My (24F) birthday is in a few weeks and I have decided to go away for that weekend. Among the friends that I invited are 'Sarah'(22F) and her new fiance 'John'(25M).A bit of backstory is that I have known and been on and off friends with John for about 15 years and I met and became really good friends with Sarah after they had started dating about 2 years ago but not through John.They recently got engaged and found out shortly after that they were expecting then the worst happened and she unfortunately miscarried. To be clear this is not why I want to uninvite them. Their relationship is toxic, to say the least, and has only gotten worse since the miscarriage. They will go from being madly in love to screaming the nastiest things they can think of at each other in literally the blink of an eye (I have been present for this multiple times) and then go back to normal just as fast, it is like emotional whiplash for the people around them and we never know how to behave or react once they are madly in love again. They even had a fight the night of their engagement party and went home separately. Most recently we were having a night out at the bar Sarah and I work at (John used to work there) and all of a sudden they were angry at each other again. John then went to the bar and casually said to the bartender (another good friend also invited to my birthday) that he is glad she had a miscarriage and then went without telling anyone.Sarah stayed with us for a while and eventually she went home too, then at 2 am, I got a message saying that he pushed her down the stairs. I didn't see the message then but when I messaged her the next day she said she overreacted and shouldn't have been standing so close to the stairs and just acted like everything was normal.Now things like this happen every time they go out and I know it will happen that weekend, I just want to have a relaxing weekend of drinks and fun with friends not worrying about when they will fight and having to rush off and comfort Sarah when the fight inevitably breaks out. So WIBTA?Before you crucify me for not talking to her about the relationship, both of them are very difficult volatile people and they see nothing wrong with their relationship and there is no way to get them to see the harm they are doing to each other. Believe me, our group of friends has tried to think of every possible way to speak to them about it | WIBTA For uninviting one of my best friends to my birthday | NTA |
10v22qs | I 27 female and my sister 29 got into a massive argument over something stupid which escalated quickly into us throwing nasty remarks at each other. A background to our relationship is my sister and I are extremely close. We grew up poor so we’ve always shared a room and bed growing up. We know everything about each other. Another important thing about our relationship is my sister is also my biggest bully. Because we’re extremely close my sister uses all my insecurities to make fun of me and make me cry whenever she gets angry at me. She would make fun of me in front of her friends and embarrass me. I was raised to respect and look out for my sister so I was always so forgiving whenever she did bully me. Recently I’ve learned to stand up for myself. At 27 I finally learnt not to take no shit from nobody, even if it’s family. So when me and my sister got into an argument I wasn’t going to just sit back and take it. During the argument she got real mad at me and said things to me that were uncalled for. She said I was going to die lonely. I have no friends. She kept going on saying no one in the family likes me. That she felt bad for me. She said those things because she knew it would hurt me and would make me cry. It did. I struggle with making friends because I’m awkward. I’m not close with some of my brothers because I feel like they value what you can do for them and I personally don’t bring any value to them. So it hurt when she said that and I just had enough. I just had enough of her saying nasty things to me over and over again so I blew up. I made fun of her ex’s leaving her. I made fun of her bulimia. I made fun of how she couldn’t get pregnant. I know I went low but I felt like she needed a taste of her own medicine. So I said those things. She went home and within 10 minutes she apologised. I apologised back. She told me she drove home crying. Tbh I don’t feel bad. The countless times she made me cry and made fun of me for it. It took her being hurt to finally realise just how badly she hurts me. I don’t feel sorry. Did I take it to far? | AITA for making fun of my sister’s pregnancy? | ESH |
10u5pre | So my wife (42f) ran into an old friend (male) a few weeks back during one of her three-hour shopping runs to a local store. She mentioned it in passing to me and I didn’t think much of it.Fast forward to Wednesday when I wake up and my wife is a little panicky and asking if we can buy a taser locally. I ask what going on and she tells me she has been communicating with that old friend and that he got bizarre on her - telling her they were meant to be together and that her deceased sister is talking to him. Sounds pretty weird, so I ask if I can read his messages.“No! I deleted them because they were silly.”Ok, not was I was expecting. We go to the store and get her some pepper spray and she even buys a bottle for home. Later that night, she tells me that she got him to go away by telling him that she was pregnant. He said he would give her space - again weird. Now I am reliving the day and rushing to get protection from weirdos and wondering why she would be so satisfied when she was scared earlier. She had told me his name earlier, but I have memory issues from some brain damage and I forgot. I asked for it again so at least I had it in case something happened. She refused. She tells me that she doesn’t want me to embarrass him any more than he already is. I swear I won’t even contact him but feel like it would be safer to know in case something did happen. She refuses. We go back and forth but she won’t do it.So here we are a few days later and she still refuses to tell me. She’s mad at me for saying I was having trust issues over this and that it felt like she was hiding something. We’ve been married for eight years. I know if I were in her shoes, I would be telling everyone I know about what is happening. I don’t think she’s told anyone but me. Am I being paranoid?Edit: Thank you everyone for your responses. It is a weird situation and I am not sure what I should do. The comments from women that have been stalked is incredibly compelling to me. It actually helps explain a lot. I do want to add a couple of notes to clarify some things. I should have given more clarity to the wackiness of the messages she told me she received. Aside from believing they were destined to be together, he told my wife that her dead sister (she died at five days old) was also talking to him and telling him it was meant to be. About my TBI, it is actually an ABI as I had a brain aneurysm burst five years ago. I wouldn’t be alive today if not for my wife who performed CPR on me and saved my life. My temper was impacted so it is much shorter than it use to be. Basically it made me much more grumpy. I have thrown things (never at people) but maybe once or twice a year. I wouldn’t be violent at all with this guy unless he was in front of us directly threatening my family. I have no desire to hunt him down and talk to him at all. The aneurysm also put me on disability before my 50s and slashed our income to a quarter of what it once was. Needless to say, it has added a ton of stress to our lives. We have two adult children and five at home. The pregnancy excuse wasn’t odd to me for that reason. She wants to get pregnant again. Finally it was being petty mentioning how long she was at the store, but yes this is pretty normal for her. It can be irritating when you have five kids at home when you have chronic headaches and the mom takes her time at the store. | AITA for wanting to know more about a man the frightened my wife | NTA |
10u95zt | I (38M) have a sister (36F). We're pretty close and love each other to bits. She has two kids with a man who didn't want any. Both times she got pregnant he told her that if she didn't abort he would leave her. He has stepped up and has taken responsibilities though, but whenever things go south he accused her of making his life miserable and that he didn't want any of it. That's for background.I've been able to save some money and when I saw house's prices going down where they lived and a flat that had a very good price and was perfect for a family of four, I told her I would give her all my savings so adding her own savings she could have enough money to ask for a mortgage.I had just one condition. The house has to be in her name. I wanted to help provide stability to my niece and nephew so if they (my sister and bf) break up, there would be no doubts about the house ownership since she would be the one who would keep the kids. I have had very bad experiences with shared mortgage from friends and familiars with a lot of problems and hate in the process, so I didn't want any of it for my sister nor her kids. How I see things, everything's going to be for the kids at the end so we'll be providing for them.Here comes the tricky part. Even if the month mortgage is less than what they're paying for rent at the moment she won't be able to pay all of it (plus the shared costs of living and two kids) with her salary, so he would have to pay something to her for living there.Here is when things went very wrong.He said if he had to pay for part of the house he had to get part of the house and what we were asking from him was unfair and I was being an as***le because it meant I didn't trust their relationship.I said he was ok to pay a total stranger for the rent but not her girlfriend and that it wasn't me the one who have to have faith in them but themselves. If he really thought they were good together, he shouldn't be worried about having a house because he would be living with his family (and saving money for himself).My sister is kinda sad because they are now fighting and some of her friends agree with her bf's opinion.I feel like an a***ole for putting her in this predicament even if my intentions were good.I'm not rich, I have a family too with two small kids, so those savings were very important to me too.I think I'm the AH for stepping in on how they do things, but not for my request. Am I?Edit: I've read all your opinions and... Yeah, I've been quite naive about the whole scene and created a new problem when there were enough already. I'm going to apologize to him so at least my sister is not taking the brunt of it. I should apologize to her too... I'm going to look into buying a house for myself as some of you have suggested so I'll be making good use of the money and if something happens we can provide for my sister and her kids. | AITA for putting one big condition if I lend my sister money for buying a house | NTA |
10v3j67 | Long story short, whenever I make a "big" breakfast for myself I ask around to see if people want to have some pancakes or whatever I'm making and usually everybody gladly accepts. It's just the kind of roommate culture I like plus I enjoy cooking. I rarely get offered anything, usually my two roommates just make their own food when everyone's home. Now, for once, my roommates are having a brunch with a friend of theirs I know too. I wake up after it's all done and they're just starting to eat. Now if I analogize the situations, I would definitely have invited myself to sit and eat (there was enough food), with having been on the receiving end for so often, plus I also know the friend (were all the same age, all studying together...). So after I said hi good morning and had been to the bath I kind of try to prod by asking if there's going to be any leftovers maybe. Which just got me an embarrassed "yeeah probably, were never going to eat all this" with a chuckle. It's been half a week since I made these 3 people waffles and coffee...Basically, although I'm not super close with any of these 3 I have invited them for food a few times but nobody seems to want to reciprocate. Is it time to stop being friendly? | AITA for never making food for my roommates again? | NTA |
10uxsfw | My friend (M21) is staying at my (F20) one bedroom apartment because he was kicked out of our college dorms. Not only was he kicked out of his dorm, but he explained that the college has confiscated his phone and they’re running an investigation to see if they find evidence of what he has been accused of. Because of the nature of the allegations, he claims that our college told him that they cannot house him with other students. They kicked him out on a Saturday at 1am and put him in a hotel for the single night. He used another device to reach out to me and I did all I could to help. I payed his Uber to work that morning, and walked back afterwards to pack his essentials and take those to my place. I housed him, cleaned after him, fed him breakfast and dinner for a whole week, during which my parents came to visit by the way, and I had to tell them I couldn’t receive them because I was helping a friend. My dad was pissed off that he couldn’t stay at his own apartment and spend time with his only daughter. He was forced to book a hotel, because 4 people simply don’t fit. Anyway, I noticed that my friend was not looking for anywhere else to stay, and when I ask for updates he keeps saying that he hasn’t heard anything. I am baffled as to why he isn’t actively fighting to get his phone back! And it makes no sense to me shouldn’t the school need a warrant?! Plus my brother is supposed to be visiting next week. And I am not making my brother pay for a hotel and I am NOT sharing a single bathroom with 2 dudes. My boyfriend isn’t happy about my male friend taking over my couch. My dad is pissed off. I have anxiety and I didn’t know what to do! So I told him to find a place within 6 days because I cannot house him another week! He doesn’t help with cleaning or grocery shopping. When I told him that he needed to leave, he got all quiet and hasn’t spoken to me since. It’s hella awkward in my tiny apartment help!!! | AITA for leaving my friend in the streets? | NTA |
10v3ixm | So, my dad was in a bad mood and my mum went running so we were put in charge of dinner. The way to make dinner also infuriated dad. My sister had to do the bins but the bags all broke at the bottom. So my dad, (in a bad mood mind you) shook my sister (15). I explained to him that the bags were broken but my sister was crying and I felt shitty that I couldn't defend her while she was being shaken.So my mum gets home. In a way to possibly make my sister feel better, I told mum that dad got angry at my sister (Maybe my mum would comfort my sister). My dad overheard and now I can't be dropped of at the bus stop or be picked up at one. My dad's reasoning? "because fuck you." Also, I defended my dad while I was explaining what happened to mum, there was no massive argument, he was just in a bad mood and petty. | AITA for telling my mum what my dad did? | NTA |
10uwl8m | Just to preface this, this is actually about my sister’s situation (F20). So she’s living with 3 roommates in a house in their 3rd year of uni. There is only 3 bedrooms, so they turned their “loft” area into a bedroom. It’s not ideal, but it worked for my sister. The only problem is that the laundry room is in my sisters area. My sister doesn’t mind people coming in to do their laundry obviously, though she asks that she be home (because she’s previously had her medication go missing, which she has reasonable suspicion was her roommate who misuses his own meds, which happen to be the same). But they go in at night when she’s sleeping sometimes, and this makes my sister really uncomfortable. She’s been trying to set boundaries, and it’s getting really frustrating for her because her roommates keep going in at night. I told her that if it happens again she should be really firm with it, and actually have a sit down discussion with all of them. I believe that she’s in the right here since they all agreed from the beginning that this was her private space. Also i would be creeped out if someone walked through my room at night. But I just wanted to post on here to see if this seems asshole-ish I guess, since obviously I’m on her side since she’s my sister and I haven’t talked directly to any of her roommates about it. | AITA for being upset when my roommates come into my room at night to do their laundry? | NTA |
10v17sd | Context: Me and my girlfriend have been living with my mom for 2 weeks now, we also have a 1 yr old daughter with us.We used to have our own house but sold it and moved back to our hometown and are staying with my mom for a while.Yesterday we had my daughter’s birthday party, My mom came to the party later and decides to take a seat with my aunt & my cousin’s girlfriend. She stays there the whole party.As the party continued my mom asked to take pictures with my daughter, my gf gave her the baby to hold. She then said: you know that if you leave her with me she’s going to cry. My girlfriend was handling everything of the party at that time and was pretty stressed but still took the time to take pictures.Now as of today, my mom is mad at my gf.Saying she didn’t feel as she was part of the party and that she felt like a stranger because my gf didn’t take her to get to know my gfs side of the family.She’s also mad at my daughter’s godmother and said she doesn’t like her attitude (the godmother never spoke to her) only said goodnight once.She doesn’t want the godmother around and doesn’t accept her in her house. The godmother asked to go pee and brung me a can of coke inside the house and my mom went on a rant about how we have to respect her and that the godmother is doing stuff like this on “purpose” to get her mad.So i told my mom that we respect her house and wont have the godmother over anymore but she has no right to be mad about her not being introduced properly because the time was simply not right and my gf was stressing about the party.Mom is now mad at me too & doesn’t treat us the same anymore because she thinks there is a hidden reason why my gf didn’t introduce her.AITA? | AITA for telling my mom it’s not all about her? | INFO |
10uzgh3 | Sorry for any mistakes.My ex-wife and I had a child when we were married, who is around 9. My ex and I have 50/50 custody, although she usually gets him for weekends. Recently, I bought a new car, a convertible. A convertible was always my dream car, dating back to even when I was a kid. Anyways, when I go to pick up my son, she sees my new car, and I thought everything was fine, until I woke up in the morning to a huge amount of texts. She says that she will not have her son riding in a convertible when he is only 9 years old. She says that he is too young, but I disagree. While I do not think he is capable of a lot of adult things at 9, I think he can handle riding in a convertible. Anyways, she demands I buy a new car, WITH a roof. Instead, I offered to get a convertible top (mine didn't come with one), and she declined saying it was too unstable. I can't afford multiple cars, so I have to choose. Eventually I decided not to get a new car, because I trust my son, and that he won't fall out of the car. A couple weeks pass, and it is time to pick up my son again. My ex meets me on the porch and says she will not let me drive off with her son in "that deathtrap". I won't take legal action, but after a few minutes of arguing I mentioned that this was against our custody agreement and she got really mad. I ended up having to leave, so when I got home I asked my friends and family if I was wrong. It was pretty even, so I have come to you guys. AITA for refusing to get a different car? | AITA for refusing to get a different car? | NTA |
10uokhg | I (24F) live in a townhouse that is divided into four separate apartments, and all of the townhouses are managed by our leasing office. One of my old roommates, who I am very good friends with, lives two doors over from me, and she has been telling me repeatedly that her downstairs neighbors have been throwing parties almost every night and blaring loud music into the early hours of the morning. I, too, can hear them clear as day. My friend has called the local police multiple times, and each time the cops were dismayed that our leasing office hasn't done anything about it, even though friend and I have sent them multiple sound recordings and videos of them aggressively partying. It even says in the lease that quiet hours exist from 10pm-8am on weekdays and 12-8am on weekends, for Christ's sake!Each time we'd go to the leasing office our property manager would tell us to just mind our own business, as part of living in an apartment means dealing with noise. We found out later that one of the partiers actually \*works\* in the leasing office, and her friends are always hanging out with the office staff (insert eyeroll). So one night it god bad enough that friend and I got some of our other friends on the property to send our manager emails about it, and lo and behold, it worked! Well actually....not like we initially thought :(​Manager replied to our emails that she is going to send them one last warning. Then after that, if they continue, a fine. A third strike would be needed before an eviction could happen to them. We were so fed up with this lack of action, my friend and I went to the office and insisted she just fine them already, and no more courtesies because this has been going on for way too long (I am a phd student and friend is working full time while getting her master's). Manager then says sorry, but all she can do now is send a warning because that is what the company will allow. I told her that is ridiculous, and she needs to stop being their friend and start doing her job because the rest of us are paying customers with major responsibilities, and it's not fair to us that they keep getting a free pass for their noise. AITA for how I responded? | AITA for telling my apartment's property manager that she needs to do better at her job? | NTA |
10uyde4 | I’m a single parent but my daughter goes to her dads every other weekend from Friday 7pm to Sunday 11am. This weekend she went like normal and yesterday she saw her auntie who loves her very much and our relationship as my daughters family is neutral. I mention this because I feel like auntie could’ve texted me to ask if I was OK with her receiving two massive sized trash bags full of Squishmallows and 2 body sized ones. Like… my kid is 6 and of course she loves them and I’m down for her to have a few, but she went from 0 to 26 in one day. And I have a tiny house. Idk where to store them and I don’t rly want to see piles of plushies around the house. I texted her dad saying I felt overwhelmed that I didn’t expect all these toys and wished auntie had asked if I was cool with it. He says he’ll make my daughter give them all away but that’s not the point. They’re hers now and I’m not gonna force her to get rid of them, but am I the asshole for being upset? | AITA because I am upset that my child came home with almost 30 new toys? | NTA |
10ujb68 | I(16f) live with my mom, I pay my own phone bill, I bought my phone on my own without the help of my mom. Recently my mom didn't pay her own phone bill and has been bothering me to use mine. I don't have much of a problem if she needs to make a call, send a text, or use my mobile Hotspot to log in and do her daily stuff on her games. My issue is that I told her that the plan I pay for only let's me use 10 gigs of Hotspot data beforei have to pay more, and i need to use it for school work that I have to do on my laptop since we don't have wifi, so she can't constantly be using it. She has recently started getting mad at me when I turn it off because she's just watching videos on Facebook, telling me that I have no right to cut her off like that. She gets mad and yells at me if I move too far away, to the point she makes me sit in the living room with her so she stays connected. I'm so tired of not being able to use my phone becuse of how much she uses my hotspot. I snapped today and told her that she's not entitled to my Hotspot, and if the Facebook videos she's watching are so important then she should've spent her money on her phone bill instead of weed and cigarettes. At this point she has my siblings on her side and they're saying that I overreacted, I think I might have been in the wrong, but I'm still not very sure. I feel like maybe I was a little harsh in the way I handled it, so AITA?(Edited for formatting) | AITA for telling my mom that she's not entitled to my mobile hotspot? | NTA |
10v64h7 | My wife and I recently had our first baby, and she's 3 months old now.A few weeks ago my family was hit with a massive, massive tragedy. I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. I wanted to travel to the funeral, but my wife didn't want to come with the baby. She didn't want me to go either and said I should be spending the time with her and our daughter, and once she's a little older we can all go to visit my family. I tried to explain this is important for me, but she wouldn't hear it. Mind you I was planning to go for less than 3 days - left the night before the funeral and flew back the morning after. I went last week and during this time my SIL came and stayed with my wife.My wife is mad at me and said it was selfish of me to go, and my priority should be them right now.I really don't think I did anything wrong here but my wife and even my SIL said what I did was completely wrong. Here for opinions because I guess we're all biased one way or another. | AITA for leaving my wife and infant to attend a funeral? | NTA |
10uz6aw | On mobile.I'm a woman in my late 30s. I have some kids. My neighbors are also late 30s, M/F, with kids the same ages.My back property line borders houses in a neighborhood that is accessible if you hop in the car, drive down the highway and make a turn into the next neighborhood. Or, you can just walk through my property to get to the other neighborhood. (Mine is the only ungated property that backs up to this neighborhood.) My property is about an acre. It's rectangular with the short side facing the street, so walking from the street to the back of my property is a bit of a hike. The back half also has lots of trees. I enjoy the privacy of my own little undisturbed woods.These neighbors have friends in the next neighborhood. They have been cutting through my property to get there. They never asked if it was permissible, and they even spray painted some of my trees without asking to mark the path for them and their friends so they don't get lost. They then told other neighbors (in my neighborhood, not the adjacent one) about this awesome shortcut, so I've started getting texts from other people asking to cut through. ("They" refers to both the kids and parents. The youngest kid, 5 y/o, told me the father is the one who spray painted my trees, but I don't know how reliable this intel is. The 5 y/o is very sweet, btw.)I don't have a good reason to ask them to stop. I simply don't like it. They pass up playing with my kids but are fine to use my property to see their friends. It feels yucky, and I'm sad that my kids are passed over so often, so that may be playing into my feelings here.If they had asked me if they could cut through my property, I would have begrudgingly said yes. However, since they never asked and then spray painted my trees, I want to tell them they are not allowed to cut through my property. While I know they do it, I rarely see it, and other than the spray paint, it doesn't really affect me much. So, reddit, am I a petty unneighborly a-hole, do they suck, do we all kinda suck? | WIBTA for asking kids to keep off my lawn? | NTA |
10v4ahl | Throw away title I didn't know what to say.But me (29f) and a Co worker let's call her Sally for this post (26f) have become very close friends and we chat a lot on Facebook messenger, we talk about work and things that's happened as well as our own lives and kids. So yesterday I was called into a meeting from higher management about some messages I'd apparently sent another Co worker . But when the messages were read out I realised that the messages were to Sally rather than the Co worker my manger claimed they were to.I went and spoke to Sally to ask her why she was forwarding my messages to another co worker but sally told me that her mum and auntie (her auntie is the manager) got drunk and logged into her Facebook account and proceeded to read all our messages to see what we had been saying.The manager told higher management that I was bitching about her and other members of staff. And the message they read out was the worst one. This is the message they read I've taken names out and replaced them with fakes (***Plus there are a lot of people who won't come because of greg and them lot they've told me....a lot of people have said if they wasn't coming in they would come in.It's their own fault mate they shouldn't be bringing in people who do drugs mate so I've got no sympathy for auntie and them lot.... I do feel bad for your mum and dad tho but not the rest mate honestly.It was getting to the point I didn't really wanna go because of it all too.Also I told dj not to say anything wtf ***)Higher management have said we didn't do anything wrong but I still feel like we are been treat like the ass holes in this situation, the manager is trying to turn people against us when we've done nothing wrong just shared our opinion on the situation to each other in private So are we the assholes for this?? They logged into someone's private Facebook account and read and screen shotted the messages.Admittedly some messages are bad but they aren't about work and more about people we know. But the manager is trying to get me fired with the message above.Also the manager is now not talking to her niece and trying to turn the family against her | AITA for sharing our opinions in a private message. | NTA |
10v48w0 | This is really dumb and going to be short. I was talking to a friend of friend and in the conversation I said I was a boy mom. Because they were talking about their daughter and I said exactly word for word "I can't have anymore kids so I guess I was just meant to be a boy mom" and she started going off on me for it. She told me it's a red flag that I call myself a boy mom and she feels sorry for my son's because she can already tell I'm shitty parent by saying that. Which has me confused. I don't understand what is wrong with what I said. My friend says she was having a bad day and obviously I'm not the asshole in this situation but I am genuinely confused by her reaction. So does it make me an asshole for calling myself a boy mom? Is there something I missed about that phrase that makes me an asshole for it?Edit: a few of you have explained the negativity around the phrase and I appreciate that I always assumed that it meant it's literal definition I had never heard it in a way that I assumed was negative or weird after hearing what it is that makes it negative. Looking back I can kind of see that now referring to some of the women I know that call themselves boy moms but I just used it as the literal definition. That said I have a genuine question, she calls herself a girl mom all the time and I don't understand how that's any different or better than referring to myself as a boy mom and can someone please explain it to me. I had complications with my pregnancies so I literally did not care about the gender at all just that they were healthy but I know people do have gender preferences for some reason and I don't judge them for it including the person who judged me for calling myself a boy mom she wanted girls and made that clear during her whole pregnancy which is why I was a little confused on her jumping my ass. | AITA for calling myself a boy mom? | NTA |
10v25jh | Hi, so yesterday my GF's brother had my phone to call my GF as I was driving. He saw a notification which said 'Tinder' and him not ever using tinder though I was on the tinder app. Unbeknownst to him it was actually a notification from r/tinder and he proceeded to tell my gf and then my gf confronted me and went through my entire phone to look for evidence, which there was none. I then received another notification from the Reddit app and noticed the app had the subreddit name where the app name would be and I sussed it out and cleared everything up with my gf. Whilst I understand why the brother did what he did, WIBTA if I decided to reduce his involvement with me and my life as a result of this? I want to clarify this does not mean stop/try stopping him seeing my gf. This only applies to me, I will remove myself from any situation he is involved with if possible. My reason being, me and my gf have been through a lot and I feel I'm at that time in my life where I have little patience for people who interfere and cause problems. | WIBTA Gf brother accused me of cheating after seeing notification from r/tinder | NAH |
10uygx6 | Me (19m) have been dating my gf (19f) for 8 months. At the beginning of our relationship it was going amazing, with everything being normal and we were both happy. A few months into our relationship I noticed that she would sometimes compare me to her BIL. I didn’t mind at first until she started to do it way more often, which made me very uncomfortable. She often says that he’s super handsome, and the sweetest person she has ever met. (While saying I should be more like him.) Also every time he is around, she just completely ignores me and plays it off as if she doesn’t hear me when I try to speak to her. I’ve confronted her about how uncomfortable I am with her comparing him to me, but she thinks I’m overreacting and just being an asshole for confronting her about it. AITA? | AITA for being uncomfortable that my gf (19f) is “obsessed” with her BIL (20m)? | NTA |
10ullpm | My son (5) loves it when my parents come to visit and they always bring him a special local delicacy. We can't get it where we live and it's quite healthy so I've always been pleased that my son likes it. My parents manage to visit about once a month.My daughter 1 seems to be allergic or intolerant to this delicacy. She is being sick after eating it and after keeping a food diary I realised it was this food. My son has a different food allergy that has been formally diagnosed and has a more serve reaction and this food is banned from the house and if we go to friends or parties we always let them know in advance about the allergy. I suggested to my husband that we ask my parents to stop bringing the food indefinitely until we've had an official medical diagnosis but with my son thus took a year. I know my parents would be fine with it and as they always bring chocolate as well my son wouldn't really notice the difference but not husband says I'm been overly cautious and as we all enjoy it we should have it in the house and just not give it to our toddler. As our toddler likes to eat the food we eat I think it would be safer and easier to just ban the food. My husband has an allergy too but as he knows the risks and is careful we do have this food in the house for me and the kids to eat. So WIBTA for banning the food? | WIBTA for banning a food my child loves? | NTA |
10uv3qk | My (29) boyfriend (30) has let his hair grow indefinitely since pandemic started almost 3 years ago. We have been together for almost 9 years in a nice and respectful relationship. When we met, he had this nice and well-kept appearance, short hair and trimmed beard.When I asked him about the hair length, he said there was not particular reason and that he was trying a new style but I gotta say I am so not into guys with long hair, nothing against them, I just don't find it attractive. I let him know about this but he didn't cared a bit. I have talked to him about how I believe it is important to still try to look attractive to each other (he honestly looks quite haggard since he doesn't even dress it) as I think this is also part of being in a relationship. However, I will always respect his decision about what he wanted to do about his body. What I fail to understand is that he has being willing to get a haircut but when I bring the topic to the table, he tells me the more I mention it, the less he wants to do it.I recently asked him to get a haircut for my birthday because I would really like to him to look good for me but he got annoyed. He says his hair is one of the aspects of his life he doesn't want to care about, it's some sort of freedom. He also said that I just want him to look exactly the way I want and that I should stop. That the more I insist, the less he wants to do it.I think I could be the asshole here but it is also uncomfortable to find my boyfriend's hair unattractive bc of this. I also said that if he ever found something unattractive of me, he could tell me and we could find a solution. But whenever I approach this topic, he dismisses me.AITA?Edit: for those saying to break up, I would not break up with him over something so trivial as hair. He holds more value to me than his appearance. I have also told him about this, I'm just confused about me overstepping boundaries or him just being dismissive of such a meaningless topic.Edit 2: I think I didn't write this right. I didn't mean that I find my boyfriend unattractive overall, but for some reason, long hair in men is a trait that displeases me deeply. It's just a preference that bugs me enough to even make a post about it lol | AITA for asking my boyfriend to cut his hair for my birthday? | YTA |
10uripa | My (F28) Husband (M29) and I have a baby (F6months). I always get her to sleep in our bed with us as she very rarely self soothes, I then transfer her into her next to me cot. This is at my side of the bed, she often wakes up when I put her down so requires settling. I usually just stroke her face or tap her chest and she’ll go back off easily. Tonight when I put her down she was getting fussy so I started trying to settle her, she wasn’t crying but was whining a little for a few minutes. It’s easier to settle her in the cot then get her back in bed with me and start the whole process again… My Husband said “is it not easier just to put her back in bed with us” to which I said no… he said he’d rather her be in bed with us as she does settle pretty much instantly so he doesn’t have to listen to her and he can get some sleep as he has work in the morning. I’d rather her be in her own cot and not sleep in our bed, I only do this if she is poorly or is really unsettled (she wasn’t). I said it was a dickish thing to say and I didn’t care if he didn’t sleep and he’s not dealing with her… it was around 10:30pm and he gets up at 6:30am for work. He has gone downstairs and is sleeping on the sofa.I should note I get the baby to sleep and put her to bed every single night, I get up with her in the night if she wakes up and I get up with her every morning. He never usually hears her if she wakes through the night or in the morning, he usually works 5-6 days a week. I’m currently on maternity leave, I also suffer with severe insomnia so don’t get much sleep regardless if the baby sleeps or not. AITA?Edit: Baby did sleep in bed with us for the first 6 weeks as she would scream every time we put her in the cot and it was the only way I’d get any sleep at all. We do follow safe sleep guidelines (UK) where it is safe to cosleep as long as these are followed. We do nap in my bed together (only me and baby) this is the best way to get her to settle as she fights sleep terribly as well. | AITA for telling my Husband that I don’t care if he doesn’t get any sleep? | NTA |
10v3yma | Hey all, I'm looking for some advice on a situation with my sister. She's 28 and has always talked about wanting the traditional family life, you know, being a stay-at-home mom and all that. But the thing is, she's always been making choices in her dating life that don't really align with her goals.Now she's met this great guy who wants to support her dreams and take things slow, but the catch is she's planning a trip to go visit an ex before making things official with him. My sister and this new guy have already been on a bunch of dates, and she seems smitten with him. I know the ex means well, but it just seems like a bad idea in light of everything.Here's the thing, I'm considering reaching out to the ex and explaining the situation. I feel like it could protect the future she wants for herself and avoid any resentment down the line. But at the same time, is it wrong for me to intervene like that? I can't bring it up with my sister directly because she might do it out of spite.So what do you guys think? Am I being the asshole if I reach out to the ex? Your thoughts and opinions would be much appreciated. I just can't watch her sabotage herself again. | WIBTA if I intervened in my sisters self-sabotage? | YWBTA |
10usju5 | This is a long story but I will try to sum it up as much as I can.On Christmas of 2014, my father told my mom he didn't love her anymore after 38 years of marriage. It was a confusing few months after. My dad left the house a month later and stayed with my brother for a little while before leaving entirely. There was a lot of fights and crying and confusion for the next year. My father slowly started withdrawing from my brothers and I. And every time I tried talking to him he'd ignore it. I even sent a 13 page long letter that he claimed never reached him. Finally, after their divorce finalized, he sent an invitation to his wedding to my two oldest brothers and blocked me on facebook in the same week.It has been 7 years since I talked to him (last time being the day before I turned 21) and he never tried to reach out until now. In October he sent a text that basically said "I got your number from your brother" and my Grandmother wanted all of her grandchildren at her birthday this year and I needed to go. There was no mention of the 7 years of silence, nothing to indicate that he even acknowledged the amount of time that had passed. I thought about just ignoring it but after thinking about it I sent him a text that said breaking his silence this way was a shitty thing to do and then said he could F\* off.When I didn't get an answer for a while, I figured he wouldn't care. But then I received a message from his new wife calling me an a\*\*hole and waxing poetic about how amazing my father is and if I had wanted to talk to him I could have contacted him at any time. Very soon after, he sent a similar message with a screenshot of my text attached and telling me I was being a child.I blocked the woman's number without a response and then explained in small words that telling someone to come to a birthday party is not the best way to end a 7 year silence as well as a reminder that I had been the last person to contact him before he decided I wasn't worth the effort. I also told him to tell his wife that she should not contact me again (though the sarcasm might have been strong as I reminded him he taught me not to talk to strangers). He sent a very long message that basically called me an a-hole and immature and told me if I was going to therapy I would know that I should be a better person or something. He chastised me for not wanting to talk to his wife and then reminded me how he didn't want negativity in his life and I shouldn't be so rude and reactive. I sent him one last voice message where I told him everything I'd been wishing I could have said 7 years ago but despite cutting him off once and for all but I can't get the words out of my head.I'm not sure if this even makes sense but if I wrote everything that happened I'd be here for a year. Am I the a\*\*hole for telling my dad to f\*\*\* off instead of answering his first text after 7 years of silence? | AITA for telling my father to F Off | NTA |
10uyqww | I was having a rare night out with my wife, our time was limited. My wife walked away to use the bathroom and the guy next to me, pulled out a bottle of salsa, asked me to try it (he had a bowl of self brought chips) and asked my opinion. I said it was good (to be polite, it was ok at best) and he asked me if I wanted to buy an unopened bottle of it for 12 dollars. After a couple attempts of escaping the interaction (my wife had come back at this point) I said, “how bout drop the 1”, implying I’d buy it for 2 dollars. I did not enjoy the salsa. AITA? | AITA for not wanting to buy salsa from a stranger at the bar? | NTA |
10uqerq | 4 months ago my (27F) Uncle (52M) was sadly diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The doctors gave him 9-12 months but he unfortunately passed away 4 weeks ago. 6 months ago my partner (27M) and I booked our dream trip of a lifetime to Japan. We went and on day 2 of the trip uncle passed. My Dad (55M) was extremely close to uncle and demanded I fly back immediately. I did my best to console him from afar via phone but did not fly back due to cost and that we really wanted to have the holiday. They scheduled the funeral for the day after my flight home so I could attend. Our flight ended up being delayed so I arrived on the day of the funeral. I rushed to get the train to my hometown but the train also ended up being delayed and I missed the funeral. I made it to the wake but by the time I got there I had not slept for almost 30 hours and was horrifically jetlagged. I did my best to greet my family and offer condolences but I literally could not keep my eyes open and felt like I was going to fall over or pass out. After about 45 minutes I quietly asked my mum for her car keys and slipped out to take a nap in her car. My dad found me and went ballistic. Extended fam have also been hounding me calling me disrespectful. For context, I was always civil and kind to my uncle but we were not at all close, he was quite the bully to me growing up forever commenting on my weight and appearance (dispite being a healthy weight). When I moved to uni we didn't really speak much and didn't have much of a relationship for almost 10 years. AITA for not flying home / trying harder to make the funeral? I could've got a taxi but again that was extremely expensive and I was a bit strapped for cash after using my money to fund the trip.(Edit for clarification - am based in the UK, traveling 2.5 hours from London to a small rural town. Taxi cost approx £200 compared to £20 train). | AITA for missing my Uncle's funeral and then falling asleep at the wake? | NTA |
10uu4u9 | I (39f) and my sister (30f) were at our parent's house for Sunday dinner. Dinner is over and everyone is just hanging out in the kitchen. My parents go into the living room to watch the Grammys. My sister and I, who don't get to see each other often, stay at the kitchen table to chat. We can see and hear the TV through an opening above the bar into the living room. We are laughing about the host and how he was standing next to Taylor swift but couldn't find her. We really weren't being that loud. My mom makes this loud obnoxiously drawn out "shush!" At us. It triggered me (childhood trauma and all that). I told my husband and daughter "it's time to go, we have clearly overstayed our welcome". I hugged my sister and walked outt of the house. My husband and daughter said their goodbyes and we went home. I texted my sister that she was welcome to come over to my house if she wanted to hang out more or stay at our instead of moms (she lives out of town). Apparently My parents acted like they had no idea why I was upset. My husband and sister agree my mom was extremely rude and no adult should be that disrespectful to another adult even if they are your child. I have spent years dealing my mommy issues and setting boundaries so I can't help but wonder if i overreacted and therefore AITA? | AITA for packing up my kid and leaving my parents' house without saying anything? | NTA |
10trw4e | To set the scene here, I am a 55 year old father of four and grandfather of five. The pertinent ones here are my eldest daughter Michelle who is 34, her husband Peter who is 35 & my grandchildren Beth and Sam, who are 12 and 14 respectively. To give some context to the rest of this post, Beth and Sam are adopted and are black, where the rest of the family is white. The problem arose when Michelle and Peter finally saved up enough money to take their dream honeymoon which they couldn't afford when they got married. It was a month-long holiday, during which time Beth and Sam came to stay with me. Beth has beautiful curly hair and lots of it, which she obviously washes and maintains herself, but she's still learning how to do certain styles in it. I asked out of curiosity what kind of style she'd like to know and she showed me some pictures of ladies online with very impressive braids. Now, I've been bald as an egg since I was 40 and the only "style" I had before that was a mohawk in my 20s, so elaborate braids are a bit beyond my skillset, but a coworker of mine who is my "work daughter" often has her hair done in styles very similar to the ones Beth showed me. I asked her where she gets her hair done and explained it was for my granddaughter, and she told me that it's actually her sister who is a professional braider and put me in touch with her. Took Beth to the sister, she got some very cool braids which have beads on and a cute little heart pattern at the sides and the sister explained all of the upkeep stuff to us and even gave us the friends and family discount which was very nice. Well cut to Michelle's return and she's deeply unhappy about me doing this. Apparently, she has always told Beth no to getting such braiding done because she believes that she's too young for it and also because she says it's expensive and doesn't want Beth to get the idea that it's going to be an all the time thing. I've said that I'm quite happy to pay for her to get it done as often as she likes because of how happy it made her, but Michelle is still taking the huff with me about. Peter is siding with her as he says parents should be consulted about such things. Sam is sticking up for me by saying that it's nice that I'm letting Beth partake in parts of black culture she might miss out on in a white family, which wasn't even really an aspect I'd considered, honestly. I obviously am not happy that my daughter is not happy, but I'm not sure if I really did anything wrong here. Help an old man out? | AITA for changing my granddaughters hair without her parents' permission? | NTA |
10v550k | Background: taking my SO to Europe. She’s always wanted to go and we saved up enough airline points to get us there business class. She asks her parents to join us which I’m ok with, but now she doesn’t want to do business class because we don’t have enough points to cover everyone’s tickets. Am I wrong for wanting to use our points to enjoy business class flights while leaving her parents in economy? Her parents will be paying for their own flight and hotel stays. My gf and I will be paying for most activities in Europe for everyone. | AITA for wanting to fly business class with SO, and leave her parents to fly in economy? | NAH |
10tzkvs | My partner is Michael and my stepson is Grant (10yrs)Tonight we had lasagna and salad for dinner. Grant has a portion of lasagna that was as small as his fist, which is the usual metric we use for his portion sizes to make sure we aren't giving him more than he can handle. He took a few bites of salad and literally 2 bites of lasagna, and then said he was full.Like every kid, we struggle with getting Grant to finish his plate, so over time we've tried a lot of different strategies to get him to eat, or to figure out why he doesn't want to. He's 10, not 2, so he's at an age where he is capable of articulating his feelings, wants, and needs. Sometimes if he doesn't like a food, he will say he is full because he doesn't want to eat the rest. So we asked him if he was really full, or if he didn't like the lasagna. Grant said he was full. We asked if he would like something else, like pizza rolls or a PB&J. Again, he said he was full.He has a tendency to say he is full, then ask for junk food 20 minutes later. So when we took his unfinished plate away, we reminded him that since he didn't finish dinner, he doesn't get to have dessert or junk snacks, but if he is hungry later, we are happy to make him the food options we listed earlier, or have a healthier snack like a granola bar or veggies and dip. And if he finished a healthy snack, then we will consider some dessert type stuff. We don't want to deny him food if he is hungry, but also don't want him to load up on sugar closer to bedtime. We made sure he made eye contact and understood what we were telling him.It gets to be around 8:30pm and Michael and Grant are in the living room playing Xbox together, so I slip away to have a couple bites of ice cream by myself in the kitchen. Well Grant got up and came into the kitchen to grab a snack from his snack station (it has granola bars, little bags of chips, fruit snacks, etc.), and he saw me. Immediately asked if he could have some ice cream and when I reminded him of what we discussed earlier, he burst into tears. Now Michael is saying that I was inconsiderate of Grant's feelings by "waving the ice cream in his face" and that I should have taken it into our bedroom so he wouldn't have seen it at all.If I was the AH in this, it would be because I ate dessert when Grant wasn't allowed to have any. But I wasn't blatant about it, and I am an adult who deserves to eat what I want in my house. Grant had a long list of options to choose from if he was still hungry, and he understands that dessert is a reward. | AITA for eating ice cream when my stepson wasn't allowed to have dessert? | NTA |
10v3bwh | I saw someone else post about measurements and I thought this would be a good place to post my own query. I (25F) am taking an costuming and sewing class for a university elective. It’s not in my major, but I want to do well and learn the skill so I can make my own clothes and be crafty.We all have a sew a dress or tunic for ourselves as our current assignment so everyone paired up to help measure. As my project partner is looping the measuring tape around me and making notations, our professor is going on a bit of a rant about how a size 0 isn’t a “real” woman’s body size and being in that measurement range is sick and expecting women to be that size is toxic. Although I agree with the last bit about not expecting everyone to fit the same mold, she was being a bit mean about it imho. My project partner looks up at me from her notes with a look of pity/worry because guess what - those are my measurements. Admittedly, I’ve struggled a bit with an eating disorder years in the past (which I’ve mostly healed in therapy) but now my main issue is nausea due to a chronic illness that makes it hard to eat. I got really self conscious because a lot of the other students were joining in on the professors talk. I do feel sick and weak due to aforementioned reasons, but I didn’t really want it pointed out in front of the class. Here’s the part where I wonder if I was the asshole - I asked my project partner not to turn in my measurement notes. I asked the professor after class if we could just make the dress without going over the notes and got a “hurrmph” noise in response and she told me the answer was likely no and told me to come to office hours. I have work during her office hours so instead I sent her an email saying I didn’t feel comfortable sharing and would rather just work on the project alone with my partner. I also told her I would be missing class the next day due to being sick, which is sort of true since I always feel sick, but was mostly because I was too nervous. She wrote back saying I have a sense of entitlement asking for an exception with no reason and that without a doctors note she wouldn’t believe I was sick - she said she suspected I just didn’t like her and didn’t have respect for the class since it’s not my major and I’m probably goofing off and not taking it seriously. It’s true I come off very standoffish, blunt, and awkward due to having Asperger’s and also she’s right - I don’t like her. I have a hard time masking it even though I’ve never intentionally been rude or disrespectful. I also know my lack of participation could affect my partner. And I did lie about being too sick to come to class. I do not want to disclose my illness or my Asperger’s to her but by not doing that she doesn’t really have a reason to believe differently than she does.*edited for spelling/grammar* | AITA for not wanting to turn in a school assignment about my body measurements? | NTA |
10tohfu | My girlfriend Sarah and I had been discussing taking a road trip for a while due to the stress we had both been under. It was my 9-year-old daughter Emily's weekend with me, so it meant she'd be coming along with usWe decided to make the trip on Emily's weekend with me, and Sarah's yorkie puppy Daisy had to come along. I informed Emily that she had to stay in the car and watch Daisy while Sarah and I made a few stops. Emily seemed to understand and was content playing on her iPad and eating snacks.After a few stops however, Emily started acting strangely. I asked her what was the matter, and she said she was getting bored. I told her sorry hon, but she knew what she was in for for the get-go. We could all do something together later. Emily reluctantly agreed.At one point I stopped at a gas station to buy a drink and Sarah went to use the restroom. When I returned not even 15 minutes later, the back door was wide open and Emily was crying next to the car. Daisy was gone.Emily confessed that she was bored and wanted to get out of the car, and Daisy jumped out. Traffic was too busy for her to run after him. We drove around looking for Daisy with no luck, and Sarah was inconsolable.I was so angry and disappointed with Emily that I couldn't even look at her. I tried to explain to her why what she had done was wrong, but she just kept crying.The road trip was cut short and I dropped Emily back at her mom's house. Emily was really upset but I was still mad and couldn't speak to her. I was too mad to even hug her or say goodbye.Her mom called me "cruel and conniving," but I told her it was awful what Emily had done to Sarah's dog. I felt so helpless. I wanted this weekend to be good for all of us.AITA? | AITA for scolding my daughter for letting the dog run away? | YTA |
10v4oav | At the time of writing this it’s s currently 3:30 am PST, 42° F I (F29) woke up absolutely freezing under 2 blankets. I checked the thermostat and it said “off”. So I know that my fiancé (M35) turned it off while I was sleeping. (in a separate room which is our gaming room is where he’s currently playing video games and watching TV so it gets quite warm in there). I switched the thermostat back to “on” and the fan to “auto” and went back to bed. Moments later he comes in the bedroom questioning why I put the heat back on; I mentioned to him “I get that it gets warm in the other room, I do, but you have options to cool down, like closing the vent, opening the window or even turning the portable fan on”. He then retorted and said “oh, so the blankets aren’t good enough for you?” (Not picking a fight at 3:30 AM I calmly said “it’s not that they aren’t good enough, I literally woke up freezing!” And he scoffed and went back to the game room, and I back to bed (wondering if AITA). TL;DR: I woke up cold AF to the heat off, while fiancé is warm & toasty while playing video games. I checked the thermostat and it wasn’t even on. He got annoyed that I turned the heat back on and I got annoyed that he turned the heat off. | AITA: To Heat or Not to Heat? | NTA |
10v1ubv | I, 19F am a manager at a fast food restaurant (it is not a McDonald’s or anything) and I work with people who are generally between 17-22, our boss is 20. I have two co workers, Thomas, 18M & Jackory, 17M who I’m in reference to.Today, I worked an 8 hour shift, and jackory, he’s still new (has been here about a month) works the line with me and instead of calling me by my name, he says “yes ma’am” and things like that as if we aren’t in the same age group. I find that to be highly disrespectful for him to address me as “ma’am” as if I’m an elder or a senior and Thomas does the same thing. I asked him why he kept doing that and said “why do you keep saying yes ma’am like I’m old or something?” He apologized, but I caught him doing it again. I have been considering talking to my boss about this and I’m hoping she can have a conversation with him about it. My cousin thinks I’m exaggerating a bit, but I don’t think I am. Am I the asshole? | AITA for telling my co workers to stop disrespecting me? | YTA |
10uy4bs | For context. I call her my sister because I’ve known her since I was 6, she was 5. (Our parents met then and we lived together up until early 2022, they got divorced.) I still consider her my sister and always will because I genuinely love her and besides my mom, she was there for forever in my life. So basically she had been with this really bad guy, he was egotistical, rude, used my sister for sexual things, was manipulative-towards my sister and that’s what I always will believe. (She claims he’s not but that’s for later on.) He actually also was a bully of mine and I had tried warning her about him numerous times before they got together, and said she might have bad luck but also just told her whatever makes her happy. The whole relationship actually happened, he turned out to do bad things as stated above, even manipulating her by pretending to be sad if she didn’t do sexual things w her, and many other gross things. She then broke up with this guy. Spent maybe a month single , and got with this other guy. This new guy was an absolute legend, respectful and caring. He loved my sister and I know he did. He never hurt her, he took her on dates when they could. She talked so highly of him. She was happy. They were awesome together, so I thought it was gonna be my sister finally found what she deserved. She dated him for a little over 5 months, she then decided randomly recently to break up with this good guy and claim that she was somehow still In love with her bad ex, saying he was somehow “respectful.” This confuses me. Because he wasn’t respectful, nor nearly as good as this other one. I told her this and I said I think her ex manipulated her into feeling bad for him, I said I refuse to believe what she did. I told her I understood her feelings (I don’t) but I told her that she shouldn’t have just hopped back into a relationship literally not even hours after breaking up with the good guy, and she got absolutely mad. She claimed that he’s “changed.” And he’s “better.” She even told me that she didn’t wanna talk to anybody else but the bad guy, and even told me to “just fuck off.” But she just abandoned something so good plus honestly, it’s sad she kept her bad ex around during this good relationship. Note- this was also the good guys first relationship. normally guys would mess up but he never did. I understand she can do what makes her happy, and she can’t control her love but I truly feel sorry for the good guy. Along with the fact I really don’t know if I should support her decision. I told her just that I didn’t understand why she would go back to such a bad person and the only thing she could say was that she still “loved.” Him.. not even her dad agrees what she did is right? The only reason I really think I’m an asshole is not hearing her out but I really cannot see why she would do what she did. | AITA for giving my sister harsh advice to not go back to her shitty ex?? | NTA |
10uy28w | My husband John has been best friends with Victor since they were kids, and they both got engaged in the same month. I’m calling John my fiancé because, even though we’re already married (super small event because of covid), we’re still planning our big wedding party. Victor and Julia just got married yesterday.A few months ago, Victor invited my fiancé to be his best man, but I wasn’t included in the bridal party, which would be expected as protocolar etiquette in our country (the rule: if you invite one to be your bridesmaid and she’s married, you should invite her husband). John was very pissed that his friends didn’t invite me as well, but I was okay with it. I calmed him down, saying that they probably had way too many friends to be included already and they didn’t invite other spouses and wives from friends who were in their bridal party. I didn’t take it personal. So back to yesterday, I was SURPRISED when I saw my fiancé entering the church holding hands with a single woman. I felt so disrespected. All bridesmaids and groomsmen were holding hands. And for me it was weird for two reasons: 1) why didn’t they place my fiancé with one of the bridesmaids who were married and whose husband wasn’t invited to be a groomsman? Why did they play him with a single woman? 2) why on earth did they tell the bridesmaid and groomsmen to hold hands while entering the church? I’m so angry with this situation. A complete lack of consideration. I was okay with my fiancé entering the church accompanying another woman the protocolar way (lady’s hand on man’s arm). But holding hands feels so personal. They looked like a couple! All of our friends commented on how inappropriate that was. And in a few months John and I will get married (again! A big party this time), and we decided we will invite to our bridal crew husbands and wives of bridesmaids and groomsmen who are married. Buuuut I don’t want to invite this couple, because their lack of consideration really disturbed me. I’m very uncomfortable with what happened. However, if John INSISTS on asking vitor to be a groomsman, WIBTA for not inviting Julia to be a bridesmaid? | WIBTA for not inviting my fiancé’s groomsman’s wife to be my bridesmaid? | NTA |
10uzdjy | I (17m) have come into money from a job I won't disclose, and I've basically come to an agreement with my parents to buy a house for them and my sister to live in, in about a year. I'll stay in our current home. When I told my "best" friend (18m) about this. He suggested I let him move in for free. I had a decent laugh thinking he wasn't serious and he laughed too but he assured me he was very serious.I put "best" in quotations because we were part of a larger friend group that fell apart. My original best friend who I used to trust with my life unfortunately fell victim to alcoholism and many other awful habits despite our best attempts to help him. Nobody from the group has contact with him anymore. This will be important later.I was pretty firm in my rejection of his proposal and I told him its because of his awful living habits. It's not just *some* clothes on the floor... His closet **is** the floor and theres food everywhere its so gross. He was very understanding and I thought that'd be the end of that.I was very wrong. Today he revealed to me that come March, his mother will start charging him $50 a month to live in her house. He has a job but even then I think the rule is very unfair and I feel bad for him. He pleaded with me to let him move in with me for free and even said he'd change his ways. I honestly doubted that but I didn't want to base my decision off my hunch so I texted his girlfriend hes dated for many years and she pretty much reaffirmed my worries saying he might change for a bit but he'll go back to being a slob. If they can live that way, then fine. I just can't.It was hard but I doubled down on rejecting him and he rebutted that if it were my past best friend, I'd let him live with me. And to be completely honest to him, I told him if my past best friend got over all his ailments and became better again then yeah I would let him live with me. My past best friend had amazing hygiene and always kept his whole house clean. He thinks I'm being unfair to assume that he won't change his ways.He's saying im being a total bitch about this situation and honestly while I dont think I am, I'm not 100% sure. AITA? | AITA for telling my best friend he can't move in with me when I get my own house? | NTA |
10uqu8l | About 3 years ago I (25M) moved into a house with some roommates I found online. One of the old tenants who moved out before me left a vintage record player in the living room. This thing is straight out of the 1950s, definitely worth some money. My roommate at the time who used to live with him said he was supposed to stop by and get it. 2 years go by and this dude never showed up. He did text me a few times (got my number through the old roommate) saying he was gonna come by at some point to get it. He never did. Well after 2 years at that house my lease ends. But this dude who left the record player also left a shit ton of stuff in the garage. I ended up being the one who cleaned out all his shit out. It was very frustrating. I ended up taking the record player with me when I moved out. Flash forward another year and now I live with my wife, and we love the record player. We keep it in our living room, we both have grown attached to it. This guy has never met me, but he’s been texting me a ton out of the blue asking if he could stop by and get it. I told him I moved out and I ended up taking it but he has no idea where I live. I’m at a point now where I’m just frustrated with his irresponsibility and want to keep it for myself. AITA if I ghost this guy and keep the record player?Edit: Just want to make it clear that if I didn’t take it when I moved out this thing would have been thrown away by the landlord no doubt, as a whole new group of people were about to move in. I’ve also had a comment recommending I mail it to him and he pays for the postage but this thing is huge, about the size of a clothes dresser. | AITA for not returning a vintage record player to a guy who left it at a house years after his lease ended? | NTA |
10tugna | I used to be close with my brother-in-law but we aren’t anymore due to how he treated my best friend. I don’t hate him or anything but I would prefer he wasn’t staying in my home.When my husband told me he was coming to visit, I made it clear I didn’t want him staying here but my husband wouldn’t budge and said his visit would be shorter if he was here as they could work out what they were going to do about some family assets they were thinking about selling more quickly.Seeing him in my home was irritating me, especially since he’s the type of person who loves making dumb sarcastic jokes constantly. I tried asking my husband to ask him to go stay in a hotel 2 days into his visit but he again wouldn’t budge so I outright told my brother-in-law I didn’t want him here but that still wasn’t enough to make him leave.I finally decided to walk around the house in my underwear because I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist making a stupid comment and it would annoy my husband enough to make him ask his brother to stay in a hotel, which is exactly what happened. After my husband told him to go, my brother-in-law accused me of thinking I was hot stuff who tried to lead my husband around by his dick and made a point to tell me it would backfire if I kept this up. My husband also asked me if I wasn’t going to continue the show during a fight as I stopped doing it once his brother left as my husband often has guests coming and going during the day which made walking around our home in my underwear awkward. He was already upset with me but the fact that I stopped immediately after his brother left seems to have upset him even more.AITA? | AITA for walking around the house in underwear so my husband would ask his brother to stay in a hotel? | ESH |
10uz1xd | For context my dad died on January 18th of 2022 so a little over a year ago. Him and my mom we're still married. She has done quite a few irritating things since he passed but this takes the cake for me. Another important note is her and my dad didn't have a great relationship but this was not due to abuse or cheating. They just weren't happy and stayed married for religious reasons. Well fast forward to about 2 weeks ago... the 16th of January, a couple days before the anniversary of my dads death, my mom calls my sister (20f) and I (24f) and says that she is talking to someone. Even though this wasn't the greatest timing, we accepted that she was ready to move on. She then asked us if we could meet him which we thought was way too soon so we said "No we'd like to wait but we are happy for you" and she said okay and that she respected this. Well about 4 days later, on January 20th, she tells us that they're dating officially. Great. Still happy for her. Then... last week.. She calls up and says that they're engaged and keep in mind we have not met this guy nor did he ever reach out to us. Yes, she asked us to meet him but we didn't feel we were ready for that yet because we're at a different stage in mourning then my mom and WE DIDNT KNOW THEY WOULD GET ENGAGED after about 10 days of dating. Their wedding is already planned for June.. Now, I'm opposed to the whole thing and don't trust the guy whatsoever. My sister and I have no desire to meet him at this point and think my mom is making a mistake. I haven't even spoken to my mom since she told us about the engagement. So AITA for not meeting him? | AITA for not meeting my moms fiancé | NTA |
10trtrq | My brother is getting married next month. My fiancée (26 F) and I (27 M) have been together for almost 3 years now. She was the lead singer of a local band in my country. They were famous, successful and at the height of their popularity and had won so many awards when she decided to leave the band because she got tired of the lifestyle and fame. A few days ago my soon-to-be SIL rang me up to tell me not to bring my fiancée with me to her wedding. Her reason was the wedding would be her special day and my fiancée would just take all the attention from SIL since fiancée is famous. I told SIL I understood, but if my fiancée were to be excluded, then I didn't think I should come either. I mean my sisters and other cousins would attend the wedding with their SO/bf/gf, it's so unfair to exclude my fiancée just because she may get recognized.She got upset and accused me of prioritizing a stranger over family. I told her my fiancée is no stranger. We have a serious relationship and are about to get married soon. When I told fiancée this, she looked really heartbroken because she really loves my family and likewise, but said she understood where SIL's coming from. My parents are with me but some of my aunts told me to just attend the wedding alone to keep the peace. WIBTA if I don't attend the wedding? | WIBTA if I don't attend my brother's wedding because his soon-to-be wife told me not to bring my fiancée? | NTA |
10v3s2i | My partner and I dicussed the bridal party and decided we would ask our siblings (I have 3) and he would ask his siblings (he has 2) and his best friend, so we would each have 3. He then asked another friend, saying he didn't realise we were only having 3, and is now telling me he wants to have 5 (1 sibling + 4 friends). I think that's too many for our small wedding (around 50 people) and leaves me in an awkward position - do I have 3 and he has 5, or do I now need to try to choose out of my friends to have 5 and 5. I really didn't want a big bridal party, and I tried to compromise (that he could have 2 friends in his bridal party with his sibling and 2 of them could be ushers, or some of them could do readings etc) but he's adamant that he wants all of them. AITA?Edit: We are trying to keep costs down (I am doing my own make up, my dress is sample sale etc) and as we are paying for suits and need to provide gifts etc there is a sizsable cost in having two additional bridal party members. | AITA - bridal party decisions | NTA |
10ug3m8 | So I (23F), am autistic. I currently work as a stripper at a club, and have done so for about 10 months so far. Before you ask, no, working elsewhere or in a different job is not an option ATM.Due to my ASD, I struggle to find and keep good friends, although I've been trying my best, I've only recently made some, one, I'll call her Donna, who has recently taken on a big sister type role towards me and after I've opened up to her about my ASD, she's been very supportive and looking out for me. Also, not many at work know about my ASD. Jane is one of Donnas friends, Ive always wanted to get to know her, but she's very hot and cold with me. One day she'll chat to me, the next she ignores me. I'm not sure why, or if it's something I'm doing, but after talking to Donna about it, she has said she'll help me look out for if there's anything I'm doing that may cause issues so I can be more mindful in the future. I am trying myself, however, I don't always see or understand if I am doing something, and need an outside view to help.All that being said, for the most part, I can mask very well, given those I have told had no idea I was on the spectrum until I told them, even those with experience with ASD, so it's unlikely those I havn't told would know, including Jane.To the issue, the other day Jane and I were chatting during a quiet period and I was talking with her about pole dancing (a common interest). I asked her for some tips on a certain trick since I know she can do it, and I still don't quite have it fully downpat yet. She started saying how she's sick of me always having to be the best, since "whenever I'm on stage I'm always trying to show off with lots of tricks and prove that I'm so amazing".I don't talk about pole very often as I get the impression I've upset some other girls because I have learnt a lot quicker than average, as most people take many months or years to get to where I'm at, and I've done it in significantly less time (all safely of course). I'm very lucky I'm naturally good at it, and am very fixated on it, which leads me to practice / train ~15 hrs a week. Which is how I've managed to get where I am so fast.I also know Jane has done pole for a few years now. I never meant or thought I came across as a showoff or anything, but it's clearly causing issues.During this, donna came up and asked what was going on. I was silent in shock and Donna ended up having a go at Jane saying she "shouldn't take out her jealousy on me, I work hard for what I've got and have earned it".I'm now getting messages from Jane saying things about how I've manipulated Donna against her and that Donna is her best friend, so to back off, and so on. It's also causing issues, since I have other girls starting to pile on about how I "show off too much on stage and try too hard", and saying I should go work elsewhere.So, AITA for upsetting others and maybe showing off? | AITA for "showing off" and upsetting coworkers? | NTA |
10tmj7r | Oliver - my cousin - and I are almost the same age and we went to university to study the same thing. The difference was that I started working as an intern halfway through uni and after I got my Bsc, the company offered me a full time position, which I gladly took and didn't go to a master's program. Oliver, unlike me, went to get his master's and started working years after I did.Oliver always made sure to tell my what a mistake I made by not getting an Msc degree. I will always be lower paid than him, no company will give me higher roles, I will get stuck at the bottom of the ladder, etc. He stopped for a little bit after finishing his studies, but recently, he started again stronger than ever. At Christmas, he told me that now that he has both an Msc and 4 years of work experience, he will overtake me so fast. In his company, he will soon apply ( in 1 or 2 years) to a higher role and he *knows* they wouldn't hire a person without a master's degree for that role.That was when I decided to be petty and apply to Oliver's company for said role. I got the offer this week and it's actually even higher paid than I expected it to be. I told Oliver about the offer (without specifying the salary) and he threw a fit.He called me a petty asshole and told me it's insane that I would go to such lengths out of my 'inferiority complex'. Our entire family is on his side and now they treat me like a jealous, mean bully. I mean yes, it *was* petty. But nobody said a word when they heard Oliver tell me during family Christmas dinner that I will always be a nobody stuck at the bottom of the corporate ladder. I only wanted to prove him wrong and it was fun testing myself. AITA? | AITA for applying to my cousin's company just to show him I can get a higher role and pay than he has? | NTA |
10uzjoh | Hubs (m 44) & I (F48) have been on a very strong trivia team along with a regular group of about 8 people, for almost a year. The team was started by a 55 year old-ish hetero-cis couple a few years ago. They were very welcoming when we started coming to the weekly Thursday night event, they became fast friends of ours. The team members are varied in education, talents & professions, we consistently win 1st place. Honestly it's the best night of my week, we've only missed two nights this whole time, oftentimes the founding members are not there. Last May, after a few months of killing it, I started saying we should get team shirts, even drawing designs as we played each week. But lots of things piled onto life & we (as a team) never got very far in the planning process of the shirts, mostly because the founders were gone a lot, Hubs & I were moving into a new house, etc. etc. After the Holidays I pulled up a website & started to put a design together, sharing screenshots with the whole team in our group text. The female of the founding couple immediately started criticizing every aspect of the design, color, style. This woman is a talker, she honestly can't stop talking, its like she has so little in life to talk about, she can’t stand to not have attention, so she just fills the air with blithering about nothing. Since she was the only one responding to the texts about my shirt design idea, I texted her directly, & she continued to complain & criticize, so I dropped it & moved on with life, prepping for the upcoming work week. I'm a midwife & work has been really busy lately & my off time is very limited. For professional comparison she recently got a job in a daycare, after not having worked for the last 30+ years of raising 3 kids, her work/life balance is radically different from mine. She continued to blow up my phone with long multiple texts in a row, like 5 here, 11 there, in a row without me responding. I was blown away by how much she kept pestering me with drawn out, passive aggressive, controlling and manipulative messages, ignoring my boundaries & requests to drop it. I stopped responding to her. That following work week was ROUGH, rough AF! She texted me during a birth that was super complicated, with a shoulder dystocia & a resuscitation. I really needed to decompress and regather my thoughts professionally, she kept texting, I kept ignoring her. I replied somewhat annoyed and again said I’d rather talk in person about it, if at all. This last Thursday, she texted again, saying she was now mad at me for not responding & ultimately kicked my hubs & I off the team via text as we were walking in to play, saying that I was too hostile. It made me feel like I was in the wrong for just wanting my boundaries respected. She was so passive aggressive & controlling about the shirts, then couldn't respect my boundaries around texting me relentlessly, but now I'm wondering if AITA? | AITA for not responding to obsessive texts | ESH |
10uri4j | I’ve lived with my friend Sarah for 1.5 yrs & I do not feel in control in many aspects of my life, and due to trauma in my childhood & past romantic relationships, that scares me. And some things that Sarah says/does triggers that fear response and I shut down. Ex. when she tells me that I’m not allowed any more plants in my room b/c she prefers a more “minimalist aesthetic”. I could understand this if I was decorating the whole apartment but I was confining the 4 or 5 I had to my room.)Or if I had a friend over to hang out in my room and chat without permission (I always tell her when I have a guest but I don’t always “ask permission”) she got upset with me and told me I crossed her boundaries because she doesn’t want people over b/c she’s tired from work/has anxiety. Even though we were just talking quietly in my room- she didn’t have to socialize or engage at all.There’s more, but it’s all similar.I am not mad at Sarah, I know she has her own struggles and I try to be aware of that. But what I have noticed is every time she tells me what to do I shut down. I got rid of all but one of my plants to make her happy, I stopped inviting people over. Etc.But, all of this has me feeling out of control.My therapist suggested that I (firstly) bring up how I’m feeling and address it directly. I failed. Every time I brought it up she’d turn it around and talk about how crowded spaces give her anxiety regardless of if it’s “her” space. Or reiterate that me bringing anyone other than my 2 pre approved friends without permission and weeks of planning triggers her social anxiety. And every time I would shut down and back off.So my therapist suggested that I consider getting a place of my own. Since I make more than I used to I could afford a 1br by myself now. And that it would be beneficial for my healing if I had a space that was 100% mine and I was in total control of, that I wouldn't feel like I had to sacrifice my needs/wants to “keep the peace”.I told Sarah that I was considering getting my own place when our lease is up. Her responses? “If we don’t live together we won’t even be friends anymore because you’ll forget all about me”. “I’ll have to move back into my parents.” To that I offered to help her find a place because at her wage she could at least afford a studio apartment but she responded that she “doesn’t want to live alone because she might ‘hurt’ herself”. She also pointed out that it’s not her fault that I’m a people pleaser so I shouldn’t punish her for it.Since then, things are rough. I get off work first so I make our lunches for the next day then prep dinner so it’s ready when she gets home. Since our talk she has refused to eat any of the food I’ve cooked, makes comments about having to find a new roommate/place that feel very targeted. Etc. | AITA for wanting my own place? | NTA |
10v14bm | Throwaway because bleh. I (M26) used to have a really good relationship with both my parents (M58) (F51). This changed last year when my mother blindsided me by informing me that she had seperated from my father and didnt know why but had to make this decision. I was understandably upset and unsure of what to feel as my parents marriage had always been strong and I'd modelled my relationships on it. The sting in the tail for me is that before the year was out my mother was seeing someone else, and I just can't accept it, it feels like she's torn apart my family unit with no remorse and put a huge amount of stress and strain on my dad, and it really hurts me to see him this way. I've tried to understand her reasoning but she's never really given a solid reason as to why she seperated outside of feeling that she should, and I don't think that's a good enough reason to leave my dad and give him no chance to repair the marriage.I just can't stop resenting her for the decision. I try to stay civil as best I can but I keep ignoring her messages and feel eventually it'll come to a head.So AITA? | AITA for resenting my mother's decision? | YTA |
10v3kqe | My (29F) partner (30M) always go to bed at the same time (it’s a nice ritual). I read and he usually mucks around on his phone for half an hour (no idea how he sleeps so soundly after!). Noise in the bedroom at night really triggers me for some reason, so when he’s flicking through videos on Instagram (even on low volume) or playing a game I get really irritated and it ruins my zen sleepy feeling. I ask him to put in his AirPods if he’s going to listen to things, but every time I do he spits the dummy a bit, says they’re in the other room and he can’t be bothered getting them, turns off his phone and rolls over in a huff. I feel bad for asking, but it seems like a simple solution to me.AITA for affecting HIS nightly ritual?Edit: to clarify, I’m reading while he is on his phone. We usually turn off the light at the same time, so he never disturbs my sleep, just my reading quiet time. | AITA for asking partner to wear AirPods if watching videos in bed? | NTA |
10tmag5 | I(28F) am a foster kid. Long story short: dad drug dealer, mom drug addict, mom died and dad went to jail for life, no family to take me on, bounced in the the system from the ages of 7 to 18. Then I became homeless, worked as an escort, went to college and this is currently my second corporate job. Like you might imagine, I do not like to talk about my personal life. Even more so because of my first corporate job, where I was the last to be given time off during holidays or summer, because I was a single woman without children.When I started at my current job, I made the decision that I was not going to get to know anyone. Colleagues will stay just that, colleagues. So I arrive at my desk at 08:45, I'm out the door at 5, I take my lunch break outside the office, don't take my breaks with the other, refuse all invites to things outside work ..My new colleagues got the hint when I just said "no thank you" when they would invite me, when I opted out of the secret sant even though it was obvious that I celebrated, and when instead of going to a colleague's wedding, I RSVPd no, then sent a gift. They leave me alone, I leave them alone, but we are friendly and am happy to lend a hand when needed.Then this woman started with us almost 3 months ago. She is very outgoing and social, made friends with the whole office within the first week, and seems to take it as a personal challenge that I do not talk about my personal life.At first, I was direct but polite, I told her "hey colleague, I appreciate that you want to get to know me, but I am an extremely private person, and do not like to mix my professional and personal life together." After taking her aside away from others.Well, instead of backing off, she doubled her efforts. And it's not in a creepy way, or a way that would allow me to go to HR, but I do not like it.Finally fed up with her, instead of trying to redirect the conversation, or changing the subject, I just stare at her -dead in the eye- without saying anything. Yesterday she came by my desk, and asked if I had plans this weekend, I said yes I do, but didn't elaborate. Then she asked me what my plans were, and if I had someone special that I was going to spend my time with. So I just started her dead in the eye and said nothing for minutes. At first she was annoyed, then she started rambling, then she turned red and left in a hurry.Another colleague sitting close by gave me this disappointed look and told me that they understood I was a private person, but that that was no way to treat someone who was genuinely friendly, someone who was trying to include me in the social life of the office.So AITA?Edit: so this blew up, I posted it and didn't get back, thought maybe I would get max 100 replies since this is almost drama free. So thank you to everyone who replied.Anyways, I read most of the replies, and here's some answers to FAQs:I am friendly to coworkers, I make small talk, I'm not just sitting in a corner hissing at people when they say hello to me.For the last 3 months I have done everything I could think of to stop her nosiness: redirected the conversation, changed the subject, asked about her instead, tried saying I was busy so she could leave me alone... Nothing worked. That's why I chose this method.Most people said this is HR worthy, so I think I will be having a casual conversation with our HR rep tomorrow.Some people said me refusing to talk can hinder my career, like I said above I am friendly and do talk with my coworkers, I just refuse to talk about anything beyond what could be considered small talk, and I don't have a personal relationship with any of them outside working hours. So I don't think it will be a problem. I will just be that mysterious coworkers that has been there for 30 years, and no one knows anything about. | AITA for the way I respond to my new co-worker's personal questions? | NTA |
10v3je8 | Context is really important. Me (35F) and my wife (33F) have been together for 6 years and married for 3. When we first met I was fairly established in my career and she had was an impoverished med student completing her final year. I'm financially responsibly, maybe a little frugal, but I love splurging from time to time. My wife, especially she we first met had a habit of living well outside her means. Designer clothes, fancy restaurants and a mountain of debt. Most of the financial security we have now is due to my financial planning/investments/ savings. My wife has honestly improved her spending habits, she's not perfect, but she's come a long way. BUT she does have the habit of getting carried away. Especially when it comes to gift giving. She spends $1000s on things I don't want or need. I suspect she also does it so she feels less guilty on spending $1000s on herself. She's incredibly loving and generous and gift giving is her love language (actions are mine). A few years ago it was mildly annoying/largely endearing, but now we have a hefty mortgage, a baby daughter, I'm working part time only and we're planning IVF for our 2nd child this year. Our finances are ok, but things are a little tight and we've cut back on a lot of little luxuries. My wife is away for work and my anniversary gift arrived today. It is a $3500 coffee machine. This absurd given our financial circumstance. Also we agreed to a $500 budget. I'm pretty annoyed as it feels disrespectful given our conversations about money recently. It makes me think of all the little luxuries I've given up to save money, and for her to so causally spend our savings is making me furious. I've had many conversations with her in the past about this exact behaviour, but she's usually so sweet and upset when I want to return something, I end up keeping things I don't want or need. I really want to return the coffee machine tomorrow to make it absolutely clear I don't want this gift. To be clear, we have an excellent, loving and supportive marriage. Even in my annoyance I know my wife just wanted me to have the very best coffee machine and there was no malice intended. But equally she should know this is not what I want. I just don't want to have the same conversation about returning this gift and then backing down again. Would it be childish of me to return it without telling her? (BTW, please don't suggest I leave her or she leave me. That's really not helpful or relevant advice here! ) | WIBTA of I returned the gift my wife bought me without telling her | NTA |
10v25be | AITA for telling my (50f) stepson’s current gf of 3 years about his ex wanting to have a paternity test. Backstory is that in 2018 my stepson (currently 29m) believed he was having a child with a woman who later claimed the child was not his (his current gf knows about that whole situation). Fast forward to last Monday and stepson comes to me in confidence and tells me “the woman is requesting a paternity test, saying she’s sure it’s mine and that it’s killing her that the child would not know their father.” He wanted to tell his current gf but I persuaded him not to while also telling him not to tell his father until the paternity test was done as to avoid any unnecessary drama in case the child was not his. Well yesterday my stepson and my husband get into an argument and stepson leaves the house, I try talking to him but nothing is getting through eventually I call my other stepson and he gives me the current gfs phone number I’m thinking maybe she can talk to him. While talking to the current gf I tell her about the ex coming and asking for a DNA test and I tell her please don’t be upset and do not tell my step son I told you. Eventually she has him tell her everything and he is beyond pissed off telling me “I came to you in confidence for advice and told you I wanted to tell her and you told me not to tell anyone but then you go ahead and tell.” My husband says I betrayed my stepson and stepson won’t even talk to me. The gf says I did the right thing and I didn’t think it would blow up he hasn’t cheated and it was a woman he dealt with years before meeting current gf. AITA here for telling | AITA for telling stepson’s current gf his ex wants a DNA test on her (ex) child l. | YTA |
10v253f | My(20f) bf(19m) is the loudest eater and drinker i know. ironically loud eating has always been a major pet peeve of mine. he chews with his mouth open and he literally gulps and chugs everything he drinks. i’ve tried to politely talk to him about it, but most of the time he just throws a huge fit about it saying he can’t help it. i won’t lie, after so many times of trying to talk to him about it i’m starting to grow resentment. i feel really guilty about it every time i’m mean about it, but he’s never even attempted to stop. he takes huge bites and gulps like he’s starving and honestly its disgusting. i let it slide 80% of the time but, it’s so hard when i’m sitting far away from him, or i have headphones in and i can still hear him. i’ve really tried to have nice and civil conversations with him about it but the last time i did he literally threw his food away and refused to eat. he always says i’m an asshole, because it’s normal because his best friend and mom eats the same way. so AITA? | AITA for commenting on the way my bf eats? | NTA |
10uyfjw | I (17F) have a younger sister (13) who is starting to concern me with her eating habits and complaints about her health. For the past month, she’s been sick on and off with a cold, cough, and allergies that gets better for a few days and then all of a sudden she gets sick again. Also, any time we go out somewhere (mall, grocery shopping, etc) she complains of a headache and being super tired when we get home, even if we only went out for an hour or two. She also sleeps for a good amount at night but is super sluggish and tired during the day and says she needs a nap. At first, I thought that maybe she went to bed late and that’s why she was so tired but our rooms are right next to each other and she goes to sleep way earlier than me. I have been concerned about these things for a while but I assumed the headaches and sleepiness could be just due to puberty and the physical changes a regular 13 yr old goes through.For the past week, I’ve noticed that she is always skipping dinner by saying she is full or not eating much. I wouldn’t be too concerned with this if she was eating big and nutritious lunches but she’s not. She’ll eat a huge bowl of sugary cereal in the morning and something random like ramen, sandwich, instant pasta for lunch and when it’s time for dinner she claims she’s full. I don’t believe that at all because none of that is enough for her to be full since she’s 5’8 and 180lbs and it was never enough for her before. She’s struggled with her weight for years now (chubby since she was a toddler) and it’s something that my dad is always getting into her about and is something she’s always told me hurts her. I’m concerned that she’s restricting her food intake by skipping dinner and approached her about it today. I told her what I noticed and that I felt it was the cause of all her painful symptoms but I was met with her being defensive and annoyed at me. I dropped the topic with her but later approached my mom about it (which is where i might be the AH). I wanted to make my mom aware about it in case she noticed it too because I didn’t want it to worsen her health issues or cause an ED. My mom immediately started lecturing my sister and my sister got annoyed which makes me feel like I was an AH and made the situation worse. I did manage to get my mom off her back and tried to talk to my sister alone and explain that I was just worried for her health and that I wanted us to work on fixing our diets and eating better together (since my diet is also shit). She got pissed off and told me to shut up which made me snap at her and tell her I was just trying to help her. I felt that I was doing the right thing in being concerned but her and my mom’s reactions are making me second-guess myself. Maybe I was being a hypocrite since my diet isn’t much better, or maybe I should’ve tried a different approach? AITA here? | AITA for being concerned about my sister’s diet? | NTA |
10uutc5 | My bf is very bad at gift giving, despite him claiming his love language is receiving gifts. It seems he loves receiving them but not good at giving them at all.First year, I gave him a huge gift he wanted (I had doubts about this bc my friend reminded me that it's too big too early in the rs but he kinda sulked and said that's the only thing he wants and I can gift him anything if I don't gift him this), and he gave me a $20 game. Price difference was $500 to $20, at a time when my income was half his. I kicked a fuss over it, especially bc he asked for the gift, and he ended up gifting me another while complaining that I only want expensive gifts. That remark left a bad taste in my mouth, bc how dare he say that considering what he got. What he gave me in the end was still half the cost of what I got him, and I would have been happy with it anyway had he not added his remark in.Learning from the prev experience, the next year we set a price point. Our gifts to each other was good and pretty equal. This year the relationship was getting much better and we had a great time in general.Last year he was running out of clothes bc he had a major weight gain. I gave him several clothes, $200 worth. When my birthday came I told him I wanted something that was half the price of what I got him. He said that what I wanted is too impractical, so he gifted me an ice cream cake that was so bad no one in my family wanted to eat it. I forced myself to eat half the cake and when I couldn't anymore, I had to throw away the rest. When he asked how the cake was, I told him that it wasn't good. He said sorry the cake he gave was bad.His birthday is approaching. Honestly I just think he's super bad at gift giving in general. I want to take the resentment away from this relationship when it comes to gifts. WIBTA if I just don't give him a birthday gift this year? | WIBTA if I don't give my boyfriend a birthday gift this year? | NTA |
10v5osb | I (25F) moved to a new city 6 months ago. I did not plan ahead for things like banks, doctors or mechanics. I normally use a chain to get any issues with my car fixed but there is not one here. My car is now inoperable and I need a new alternator (and now because of the wait probably a battery)I asked around for recommendations last Wednesday and one of my coworkers had a friend that is basically a mobile mechanic which was the most convenient since my car was dead. (He used to have a shop but a recent hurricane destroyed it.) I decided to have that guy come out and he did a diagnostic. From the start communication was not his strong suit. He eventually gave me a quote which I approved on Friday. It took him from Wednesday to Friday to get the quote to me. Then on Friday evening he messaged me that he is picking the part up Saturday morning and should be at my place by 9/10am the latest. “Unless something unexpected happens”. Well Saturday 9/10 comes and I don’t hear from him. I messaged at Noon asking if something happened. No response. I message again at 5pm because I need my car that if he can’t do it I need to go somewhere else. He responded in 10 minutes that he picked up my part and got sick and then went home. But he did NOT communicate that to me. I ask if he thinks he will feel better on Sunday and would do the work. He did not reply. I then messaged him yesterday at 11am asking for an update and at this point on Monday. I still have not received any communication. I’m the most pissed about the lack of communication. If he would have messaged me Saturday “I got the part but I’m really not feeling well sorry” or a message like that on Sunday id be a little more understanding. But now I haven’t had my car for almost a week and I’m planning to take it to a shop today which I will have to call a tow truck and still have to wait a few days. He already got the part and if he is sick I do feel bad. AITA? | AITA for expecting a mechanic to communicate with me? WIBTA if I canceled after I agreed to labor and parts? | NTA |
10uwwv5 | I (19M) go to a college really far away from home and last semester I took a leave of absence to treat my depression. Recently, my mom (50F) has been using Life360 several times a day to find my location. Everywhere I go, my mom would text me asking me where I was going or what I was doing. And she would always try to control me by telling me what to do. I can’t just ignore her because she will call me constantly and relentlessly until I pick up. For instance, last night I wanted to go to a party. She tracked me down and wrote an essay long text against me going. But it wasn’t just college. One day, I was out with my friend for a few hours and out of nowhere she texted me calling my friend a “bitch” and for me to come home. She has never allowed me to have friends and this is the first time I have ever hanged out with someone. I am 19 years old. For an hour straight, she called me non-stop and I did not pick up because I was angry at her. And what scares me is how she would send obsessive texts to me. Here’s an example: “I love you Don't ever leave me😩” Today, I confronted her and told her that this level of obsession with me is unhealthy. She defended herself by saying that she wanted to make sure I was doing okay because I had a severe depressive episode last semester. Then she called me ungrateful for not appreciating her love and concern.AITA here? | AITA for asking my mom to stop tracking me down when I’m in college? | NTA |
10ufl16 | She was talking to another woman about how one of her cats scratched her arm. She said she doesn't know why her cat is acting so strange all of a sudden. I was just trying to join the conversation, so I asked her "are you talking about \[Cat's name\], I think you should take them to hospital as they're most likely unwell." (She has two cats, I saw an image of the cat that indicate something wasn't right.) For context: I knew this information from her public Instagram page, which I found from another coworker's tagged photos. Her Instagram is public, it has her full name and her photo. I didn't think I was evading privacy by looking at it, As per my other posts, I don't have friends, so I wanted to know about my coworkers, so I could have something to talk about. She then asked me how I know that information, I told her Instagram, then she proceeds to tell me that her Instagram is for friends only, and that she's uncomfortable that I know about her profile, I apologized and didn't speak to her again, only focused on my work, but later in the day one of her friends tells me that I should leave her alone, and stop being a creep and that I'm weird and she'll report me if it continues. AITA here? | AITA for looking at a coworker's Instagram page? | NTA |
10uwvmc | (I’m 15F my mom 42F) Id like to start of with that my parents are both Christian and my mom grew up with Mormon parents. I however am not Christian. I lean towards Satanism. I have no issues with any religions as long as you don’t try forcing it on me. I don’t talk about satanism around my family as I know it makes them uncomfortable. So religious holiday don’t mean much to me but I still somewhat participate for my family. I have severe anxiety issues being around people I don’t know and unfamiliar places. For Christmas we usually go on trips which aren’t enjoyable for me but I still go and try to enjoy it for my family even if it’s more stressful than anything.This year however we were going to one of my moms work friends house. I had agreed with her to go for an hour and a half then she would drive me home. When we showed up I quickly greeted anyone i was introduced to by my mom then stayed on the couch. There were about 30-40 people at this party and it quickly became overwhelming being in a small house with so many people. A few times I had to hide out on the bathroom to stop a panic attack or to cry, but I did my best to stay until the agreed time. When that time came I messaged my mom that It was time. (The car ride is 10 minutes but It crossed many main roads without side walks so she didn’t want me walking home.) She told me she would say her goodbyes then she’d drive me home and come back to continue partying with everyone. After 20 minutes passed I messaged her again asking if she was done so we could leave. She didn’t end up responding so I waited a few minutes longer before messaging her again. She again didn’t respond. I went to look for her though I was already overwhelmed with everything. I pushing through a crowd of adults looking for but her quickly became to much so I went back to the bathroom to try and calm down. I went back to my messages and saw she read them but didn’t respond so I didn’t bother messaging her again. After sometime I was kicked out the bathroom as people had to actually use it so I was moved back onto the couch. By then I was extremely exhausted with everything both mentally and physically as I barley slept the night before due to insomnia. I ended up having to stay there for another three hours before everyone left. The car ride back was silent and I was trying not to cry out of anger. Then my mom turned to me. (My stepdad was driving). And complained about me not interacting with anyone and staying glued to my phone the whole time. I turned to her and yelled about her lying to me about when we’d leave and called her a bitch. (I don’t cuss in front of my parents out of respect so this was the first time) she got mad at me and called me selfish for trying to ruin Christmas for everyone. I ignored her for the rest of the night and got grounded. AITA? | AITA for yelling at my mom on Christmas? | NTA |
10uximh | My roommate has had this cat for over a year and a half. I've changed the cats litter 2 times maybe. He changes the litter 1-2 times per week. Every time that my roommate asks me to change the litter, I respond with no because it will make my eyes and nose scratchy. I cuddle the cat a lot and am the main person he sleeps with. I have a minor allergy to hair and dandruff. Never diagnosed or anything but I've been around cats all my life and that's how it's been. My roommate goes to change the litter and ask me to hold the bag before we go grab take out. I refuse kindly. He says that I never do it and if I don't hold the bag he gonna not talk to me he'll eat separate and not drop it. So I say I really don't want to and he says he's gonna re-home the cat because I want all the benefits of owning a cat but don't put in any work. I've talked about getting my own cat before and offer to be the one he's re-homed to. He says no, its my cat and he will go somewhere else. Ask probing questions. I don't know if I'm in the wrong | AITA IF I WON'T CHANGE MY ROOMMATE'S CAT'S LITTER? | YTA |
10ur5x6 | I’m taking an online, asynchronous biochem course this semester. We have a midterm tomorrow on the first 9 sections (~month’s work on material if you follow the recommended course schedule). Someone from the course messaged me on Facebook asking for my notes, she got my profile from the course group chat to message me privately. Under most circumstances I would share my notes, but this girl messaged me saying she hadn’t watched any lecture videos (she downloaded the slides and read them), she wasn’t aware there would be lecture content on the midterm and if I had notes I could send her. I do, I have a really well organized word doc of the first 9 sections that I spent hours creating and I don’t feel like sharing it with someone whose just told me they haven’t done anything for the course. I feel bad because it really does not impact my life at all if I share my notes, so I’m being a little petty. AITA? | AITA for not sharing my notes? | NTA |
10usap6 | I just moved back into my house (house fire a year ago) and let my dogs out into the yard. I have neighbors who have a little porch lean to thing in the back of their house that butts up to my yard. They have a makeshift wall that's approximately 4.5 to 5 feet tall that separates our properties. When they come out my dogs run up and jump up at the opening on top and just today, not even 24 hrs of being back, they yelled at my wife and I to handle our dogs. Mind you that the dogs didn't get over the wall just jump and bark. The neighbors decided to yell at my wife about the issue and it upset me. They want me to put a wire like fence 3 ft from their hovel to stop my dogs from jumping at the space. I don't want to lose any of my property a d was honestly frustrated over the whole ordeal. This is where I'm probably the a-hole, I was digging a post-hole and was going to install a six foot wood fence in front of the space so my dogs won't be able to see them and they won't be bothered by my dogs, however it will obstruct most of the natural light that goes into their space. So, am I the A-hole if I choose to just install the fence and null out the problem?Edit: The issue alone isn't that my dogs bark and are loud, it's about my dogs jumping and peeking a head over and a paw, just to fall back down all while barking.I should also mention this riles up the neighbors dog as well. | WIBTA for putting up a 5-6 ft fence | NTA |
10v1t1h | So my wife and I have been together for almost 7 years now. Early on We both have have done some “red flag” things but we’ve gotten through them. I for one have talked to other girls and hid/lied about it before but have never done anything with anyone and have always come clean about it. My wife has accepted and forgiven me. My wife has hid/lied to me about talking to her friends and my own family, literally lying about how controlling I was and other bad stuff about me that turned out to be false or exaggerated (things like her going through my phone daily then telling everyone I went through HER phone daily when I in-fact barley went through her phone) it was always a betrayal of trust because she would literally force tears and say she was not lying about talking to these people about me when I would find out about it and she then would admit to it. (This happened with 4 people and many times)Fast forward years later. We have talked to other couple before and done 1 swap (swinger type stuff) and have been pretty comfortable with that little bit we did because we have boundaries. (Now the problem…)Well My sister has had a boyfriend for around 2 years now that my wife hates, they have their own problems and I’ll admit that I’m not to fond of him either (they also have a kid together) Well today she met with my sister to talk and my sister told her about a guy at work she likes and has been snap chatting and hiding it from her boyfriend. My wife ultimately told her to “go for it” and even told her about us swinging (which I didn’t want anyone to know about) I am upset about both because she ultimately told my sister to cheat which is morally wrong and sees absolutely nothing wrong with that. And I feel another betrayal of trust because she told my sister (a loud mouth) about the secret of swinging. (she also told her about my foot fetish a while back which she knew I wanted kept a secret as well, and said she wouldn’t do something like that again) | AITA: My wife pretty much told my sister that it’s okay to cheat or hide stuff from her boyfriend | NTA |
10umjcg | Hello. First of all, i apologize for my grammar, but english is not my language. I (M34) dated my ex gf (F34) for a few months 12 years ago. We broke up when i got a job offer in another town. It wasn't a serious relationship, we weren't engaged and we weren't exclusive. After a few years of me living in a new town, i met my now wife. We got married, have a 3 year old daughter and we're expecting again. My wife has a difficult pregnancy and she is on medical leave. My ex contacted me to inform me that we have a daughter (greta- fake name). I was surprised to say the least. I asked for a dna test. She refused at first, but i told her that without a dna test, i won't do anything. In the end we had the test and it was positive. I agreed to a coparenting plan and greta (fake name) came to my house 2 weekends a month. Idk what i expected, but it was way worse. She was rude to my wife all the time, was rude to our staff (we have a lady who cooks and a lady who cleans for us, since we both work) and on several occasions was rude to my 3yo daughter as well. My wife, as i mentioned, has a difficult pregnancy. A week ago, she had to spend the night at the hospital. I wasn't allowed to stay with her so i went home. It was greta's weekend at my house so she came to stay there. She didn't know yet about my wife being pregnant (it doesn't show, she is only 4 months and with the right clothes you can't tell). I told her about the new baby and she started screaming at me, that how did i dare to do this to her? That 4 months ago i already knew about her and how much she suffered not having a father, and now i'm having a new baby that will grow up with a dad? I told her that i didn't knew she existed, so i can't be blamed for her growing up without a father. She then started throwing insults at me, at my wife, she called my 3yo a failed abortion. This wasn't the first time she hurled insults at them. I then snapped and told her to take her things, i'll take her to her mother's house. I dropped her off at her mom's place, told her what happened and how she won't be allowed back in my house unless she apologizes to my wife and my 3yo. My sister, to whom i'm not in touch and was friends with the ex, called me that night to yell at me and called me an AH for taking greta back to her mom, and for choosing to side with my wife who is so "superficial and vain", unlike the ex who is sweet and caring. Am i the asshole for taking her to her mother and demanding an apology? | AITA for taking her back to her mom?? | NTA |
10u14xq | This was a while ago, but my family and I still get into arguments over it to this day. When I was in high school, my mom used to send emails from my school account to various different teachers and community leaders to try to make sure I was taking every opportunity. I repeatedly told her not to do this, because it was weird, I didn't really need her help and I was already doing quite well in school- but she insisted that she was helping me, and kept doing it. I locked her out of my account twice, but both times was persuaded by her to give her my password again. She's my mom, so what can you do?Anyways, she eventually writes an email to an organization signing me up to volunteer- I would have gladly done it, but the problem was that I had a Model UN conference that day, so now I had to explain to the organizer who was expecting me to come that I had to cancel last-minute, making me look like a real jerk. I was pretty upset with my mom for putting me in this spot, but whatever. I told her off about her not even mentioning or asking me whether I was busy before signing me up, but she said that it was my fault for never telling her when my conference was. I maintained that 1) she never asked, because if she did I would have happily told her, and 2) she shouldn't have signed me up without my permission or telling me regardless.I sent an email to the organizer informing them that they had been talking to my mom in the past few emails instead of me, and that it was her that had signed me up. I didn't make her look bad- just told the facts, apologized for making them have to find a replacement so late, and said that if there were any other opportunities for volunteering, that I would be in touch. That made my mom so mad that she refused to talk to me, even without reading the email. My dad was also pretty pissed off at me, though not as much as my mom- he said that I had part of the blame to take as well, as I had let my mom have access to my email, so I was kind of asking for it to happen. Also, he said that she was my mom, and was only trying to help me before I threw her under the bus in the email by blaming her to the organizer. I guess that is true, but would it have been better for me to lie and say that it was my fault, and that I had messed up the planning? I've done it before, but this time I just felt so fed up. Maybe I did make the wrong decision, though.Anyways, I was just wondering what you guys thought about it. Pretty much my entire family is against me here, but was what I did really that bad? I've thought about it a long time, and I really don't think so- but if I really am the asshole here, please let me know so I can apologize to my mom and change. | AITA for telling the truth about my mom instead of taking the blame? | NTA |
10v5b0w | Before I start here is a little bit of context. I (19f) have been dating my bf H. (20m) for almost two years now, known him for three. His best friend (20m), let's call him C. has also become a great friend of mine over this time.I currently work in retail on Saturdays in addition to my normal job. Last year in August a girl named A. (26f) also started working there. We found out that she lives only 2 minutes away from me, so we often drove together to work. She's very nice but not the type of person I'd immediately see as "good friend material". In November me and a friend, who also works at my retail job, were spending a Saturday evening at her house with my bf H., C. and two other friends. We both had a shift till 6:30 PM, A. had to work till 8:30 PM. After her shift she called to vent about something at work and my friend suggested she should come over for a little bit.So that's where C. and A. met for the first time. Sideinfo: C's. last relationship ended pretty roughly, with his ex cheating on him, so he decided to not enter a new relationship till he finished his training to be a cop. A. knew this from the start and said she was fine with this, but wouldn't miss a chance to cuddle with him or act all lovey dovey. Keep in mind that it was never him, who made a move, he's open for F+, but nothing more. A week ago she told him, that she only wanted to be friends and he was completely fine with that.She now thinks he's being contradicting with his own actions, called him childish, deleted all of their pictures and blocked him on snap, then added him back today.On Saturday we all hung out again at my place and when the two of them went outside to smoke a cigarette, she tried to kiss him, he turned his head and aperently made a face. Afterwards she was silent the whole evening.I asked C. about it and he told me that he was confused and "she wants to be just friends, friends don't do this". I mean he's right. Around 1AM both of them drove home.I texted her and asked how she felt. A. answered that she was fine and that she was drinking a glass of wine. This made me worried, since she's not supposed to have alcohol. She has to take medication for her heart and was in the hospital from Monday to Tuesday, because she was experiencing excruciating pain in her head. The doctors couldn't give her an exact diagnose. On top of that she is a really small girl and doesn't weigh much.So I texted C. what happened cause both of them obviously need to talk things through. About 20 minutes later, I got a text from A. telling me to stop talking to C. about the situation, since she doesn't wanna talk to him. I told her that she needed to talk things out but I only got a "leave me alone, fr", so I did. I know she's probably mad that I'm not texting her an apology or something, but I'm tired of this bs. If they don't talk, I'm the one who's standing between boths sides. She wants to be an adult? Adults talk.So AITA? | AITA for talking to my friend? | NTA |
10v5826 | My boyfriend and I have been together for just under 2 years. I love him very much, and his 9 year old child. Child lives week on, week off with parents. From mothers, to fathers, but primarily with h the mother.The issues lie here; I she insisted on a cat for the first 7 months of mine and my partner’s relationship. After I miscarried my and bfs daughter, we gave in on getting the cat on the condition she also helps with the care taking of said kitten. She agreed and was excited. She did an okay job, some days she did without complaining, other days it was faster for me to just do it. 4 days before Christmas I lost one of my dogs. I’ve had her for over 12 years. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, something happened that the veterinary team never expected or experienced before and there was no saving her, even with the emergency surgery she had just received. But now, my boyfriend has gotten a new puppy due to him and his daughter wanting one and I do all the caretaking for it full time. Here maybe where I am the asshole. His daughter has chores he made up and tells her to do occasionally. Maybe once her whole visit. We got into an argument last night over me feeling overwhelmed and me wanting help and for him to be consistent with enforcing chores with me because ontop of me doing all the household chores and all the cooking, I’ve been doing 95% of the childcare and I feel like I’m drowning and need help. I need everyone to pull their weight and help out in the home. He feels I shouldn’t be overwhelmed bc i do all the stuff in my week while the child is with mom. And he said the cat was mine bc I got it when I lost the baby. He told me to take my dog, and “my” cat and get out. So my friends came and got me for the night so we can cool down and he’s so mad I left and accusing me of sleeping with my friends husband now. All I did was do what he said. I haven’t slept I’ve been up all night upset. He was also drunk and twisted everything in the argument earlier in the night. | AITA for leaving for a night? | NTA |
10uohwi | I'm very curious to hear opinions/judgements on this, since I am not always the best when it comes to wedding etiquette. I'm still not sure who was in the wrong in this situation from an etiquette standpoint.My husband's cousin (the groom) was getting married in another state and asked if our daughter would be the flower girl. We happily agreed, assuming that if our daughter were a part of the wedding ceremony, she would be invited to the reception. It turned out that not clarifying this was a mistake. By the time we learned that it was a child-free wedding, we had already planned a family vacation around this wedding and booked plane tickets. Since we were traveling out of state and anyone we knew that could watch our kids was invited to the wedding, I had no choice but to RSVP no to the reception so that I could watch my kids (ages 3 and 11 months). I did still attend the ceremony and allow my daughter to be a flower girl. I also asked my husband to please forgo the reception and come back to his relative's house with me. The entirety of the rest of the trip was spent mainly with his immediate family. The only people that he would have only seen at the reception were his cousin's immediate family, who he did get to say hello to at the ceremony. I am told that the bride was not happy that my husband missed the reception and felt that I should have taken the kids back from the wedding on my own and let him enjoy time with his family.Prior to the wedding I did not flat out ask the bride if my children could attend the reception, but I did mention that we would be unable to attend the reception because we had no childcare. The bride offered to find a sitter. I declined this because my children are very young, would be sleeping in a strange place (and for that matter, could I invite a sitter into my in-laws home?), and have never been watched by anyone outside of family before.So, I realize there are a lot of potential asshole moves at play here. Are my husband and I assholes for assuming our children could attend a wedding reception where one is part of the ceremony? But, are the bride and groom assholes for asking our child to be part of the out of state ceremony and then excluding her from the reception without being upfront that it is child-free? I am leaning toward ESH for those (correct me if I'm wrong), BUT biggest question:Am I an asshole for asking my husband to miss the reception with me so that I was not sitting home alone at his relative's house while the babies slept?I'm adding an edit - I'm not sure if this makes a difference to the YTA voters, but another cousin got married out of state a month later and many more family members attended that wedding. At the time of the wedding in question, we knew this one was coming up. My husband traveled by himself for that wedding and spent lots of time with his family while I gladly stayed home with the kids. | AITA for asking my husband to miss his cousin's wedding reception? | NTA |
10v0gkv | I (19M) am a college student that's also vice president of our school's LGBTQ+ club. I'm also part of a group chat on Discord with friends I've made from that club where we mostly just share memes. I never really knew anyone coming into the club because before college, I've been going to high school online since before the pandemic. I had really bad social anxiety on top of being targeted by bullies for being gay at previous schools, so since I never really socialized with any of my classmates during high school, I only knew a handful of people at my college from previous schools, and most of them are straight. Despite not being the most socially active or adept person, I managed to open up during my time at the club and was even elected vice president earlier this semester.Now here's why I'm writing this. Before I delivered the message that started all of the drama, the group chat had been inactive for about five days. I decided to send a gif that I thought would be somewhat comedic, and boy, did that backfire. Basically, I sent a gif of a tumbleweed rolling through a desert, and underneath, I wrote "this chat". I kid you not, within about five seconds, one of the people in the chat texts "contribute then". That was where I immediately realized my mistake. I immediately think "damn, I sounded like an asshole". Then I decided that that was enough discord for that night, and shamefully walked away from the situation, turned off my phone, and went to sleep (it was 1 AM).The next morning, nothing unusual really happened. I went to class, did some homework, ate lunch with my friends, and went home. Then I opened Instagram while laying in bed to discover a barrage of messages on Instagram from the club officer group chat trying to notify me that two of my "friends" from the Discord group made callout posts on their stories about what I had said.I confronted those people from the club through Instagram DMs and basically told them "Listen, I'm sorry. I thought it was humorous, but when I posted it, I immediately realized my mistake. But I feel like maybe you're blowing it a little bit out of proportion. I don't see why you had to publicize this situation when we could just talk it out." They responded by blocking me.People from the club seem to be pretty divided on the situation, with some writing me off as an asshole and a bully and others choosing to look past a dumb mistake that, in my opinion, wasn't that big of a deal. This situation has gotten to the point to where I stopped showing up to club meetings and am seriously considering dropping the club entirely because I don't feel like I'm stepping into a safe space when I go to that club anymore. I feel like shit for the part I played in this drama. I can see how I was the asshole for saying what I said, but this turned into something else that it shouldn't've been. The anxiety I've had over this is starting to get in the way of my grades and mental health, so I feel like getting this off my chest will help.So Reddit, AITA? | AITA for getting mad at my (former) friends after they called me out? | NTA |
10ug3zo | F (22) here. My parents have always wanted to buy a home together but have struggled financially. My Mum has not worked my whole life, out of choice. My dad has several health problems.When I got a full-time job at age 21, and before I even received my first paycheck, my parents asked me to save towards their home deposit and to get a home loan with them. They said that they needed me to go on the mortgage so that they could get a 30-year mortgage, with lower repayments. At the time I had never lived out of home and didn't fully understand what me being on their home loan meant.I had been talking about buying a house with my partner for at least a year prior to this. When my mother found out that her and my father wouldn't be eligible for a $10,000 home grant if I bought with my partner first, she asked me to hold off on buying until they bought their home (with my name on the loan). During this time I went to the bank and discovered I would not have enough borrowing power to put my name on their home and on the one with my partner. This led to my partner buying the house, and me being unable to put my name on it. Which my parents were well aware of and were fine with, as long as they got their home.Flash forward a year and I have given them nearly $30,000 AUD towards their home deposit and their other expenses, all of which they have spent. I also prioritised saving for them over saving for the home with my partner, which they were aware of. They are still looking to buy or build a house in the next year. They have also engaged with several builders to gather information about the process. On two occasions, after my partner bought our house, my parents asked me if I no longer wanted to go on their mortgage with them. Feeling pressured and uncomfortable, I said it was still fine for me to do. Recently, with guidance from my other siblings, I have realised that my parents prioritise their needs above mine and that they are not good with money. I feel anxious about going on a loan with them, as they are not financially stable and are very dependent on me for money. WIBTA to tell them that I don't want to do it, especially since they have asked me twice if I still want to. | WIBTA for telling my parents i changed my mind about going on a home loan | NTA |
10uqf1c | Little background, I(21F) live with My Sister(25F), My brother(24M), and Mother(50F) Currently only my sister and I have a Job, though currently I have less shifts than my sister.My family decided they want to move out of my childhood home as it's becoming too expensive to live there anymore, this is understandable yet during this time my Fiancé(23M) and I were talking about moving in together. I've brought this up to my family and they were all very excited for me to go live with him. I brought up saving my money for a passport and plane ticket as well as spending money as my Fiancé currently is living in another country due to work, this set my mother off as this would mean I wouldn't be giving her the normal amount for rent and bills. Currently only my sister and I have jobs and pay for everything in the house together for the last 5 years, I brought up to my sister about my move and she agreed to pay more for rent and bills so that I can save. My sister paid 50% of bills prior to this, now she pays 75% (even with the rent going up)Soon after I started to save my money, the rent went up and now my sister uses almost her full paycheck to pay rent and bills. My mother started demanding that I pay even more for rent and bills, but my sister has said it's fine that I don't. Without my extra money they are scrapping by barely now, and I understand I live with them and they need help; I have already agreed to not giving any more money due to myself trying to move. As well my brother and mother both haven't been trying to get jobs anyways, and even when my sister and I ask them to help they simply don't and expect us to keep paying everything for them. My sister said if I was able to get my passport and ticket right now she wouldn't mind if I left just to teach the others a lesson that they can't just rely on me for everything, I feel bad about it but I know since her and I are the only ones paying anything it would be up to only her once I left.I've spoken to my Fiancé about all this and he offered to pay for my passport and my ticket so that I would only need to save money for the actual trip and until I get a job in the new country, due to this technically I could give more money to my family for their rent and their current move. Yet once speaking to my sister on the situation she said that I don't need to give anymore then I already have, and she doesn't want me to give any more money. Hearing this my mother blew up screaming that I have to give my full paychecks up since everything is gonna be paid for me, and that having it sit in my bank doing nothing is simply wasting it. I don't think I'm in the wrong since my sister and I have spoken about it.But AITA for not giving them more money? **Edit:** For those asking, I've asked my sister to come with me but she says she wishes to stay with my mother no matter what. I've tried changing her mind, but she refuses to leave. As well both my mother and brother are perfectly fine, they have no disabilities. My mother has been out of a job since my sister got out of highschool and started working originally, while my brother has had a few jobs here and there but got fired from his last one and never bothered getting a new one. | AITA for not using my full paycheck for my family's bills | NTA |
10v2pwq | So I, (19 F) was adopted from China at age 2.5. A few days ago, my friend (19 M) and I were getting into a long conversation about the United State's current geopolitical standings (we both currently live in the US). He has expressed his dislike of US politics and his desire to immigrate from the US on multiple occasions. During our conversation, he told me he was jealous that I was adopted from a country other than the United States because I could renounce being tied to this country- and wished he could have been adopted too.I would like to say that choosing to renounce your country of origin isn't the same as being taken from it.I understand that the US is not a perfect country, but I think it's important to know that adoption doesn't necessarily wipe your slate clean. It comes with its own hardships, especially adapting to a new cultural region. I understand that at the surface, it's easy to see all of the success stories of kids being given better lives with loving families and going on to be happy.. but that doesn't happen for everyone. And on top of that, serious psychological issues can come from adoption. I can only speak from my own personal experiences, and I am super grateful to have been adopted into a family that provided me with a good life. Still, I remember growing up and having major abandonment issues that stemmed from being abandoned in an elevator at 1 month. I grew up in a family and community that had no ties to my cultural heritage, and that does create a gap that will probably take years to fill. I'm not trying to gatekeep, but there are things my friend will never have to experience, and quite frankly, as someone who has gone through it, I don't want him to. I don't want him to know what it feels like to believe that you weren't good enough for your parents to come back for you because even after all of these years, it still hurts. I know my friend doesn't mean anything malicious by his statement, but I can't help but feel like he's only taking things at face value and not realizing the negatives. | WIBTA for getting upset at a friend for telling me he wishes he was adopted? | NTA |
10u6yej | I (F35) am getting married this spring to my fiancé (M35) after being together for 7 years. When we started talking about marriage a few years ago, we both agreed that we wanted an intimate wedding since we are both on the introverted side. We initially wanted to do a small wedding aboard, but because of the pandemic and his mother's health, we decided against it. We found a small venue and we are paying for everything ourselves. Last November, I sent out save the dates. My (F28) cousin who is also a bridesmaid, called me letting me know that she received the invitation and that she let everyone know about the wedding. At first, I corrected her and let her know I sent her a save the date (there was no information about the venue or times, just the date and the city and state the wedding was going to be at) and I figured she was just excited since she has never been in a wedding before. She started asking me about how many people she could bring, and I let her know because of costs and the size of the venue, she was only going to be able to bring her father, sister, and her long-term boyfriend.She started freaking out that she had invited a lot of people to my wedding and now she had to tell them that they couldn't come and how that was embarrassing for her. I told her she never asked to invite people to my wedding and I didn't want people that I didn't know to be there. Two minutes after she hung up, she called me back and gave me an ultimatum- I allow her to bring her boyfriend's mother (who I haven't met before and does not live with my cousin) or she was not going to be in my wedding. I told her firmly, "I'm sorry you feel that way but that cannot be done. I'm sorry to hear that you don't want to be in the wedding anymore but I can't budge on this." I hung up the phone.After not speaking to her for a few months, I saw her yesterday at a family gathering, but she made it a point not to engage with me at all. I decided to text her after the gathering letting her know that I was sorry to miss her earlier but I wanted her to know the invitation was going to be sent next week.She asked again about her boyfriend's mother. I let her know again that was not possible, but depending on how many people RSVP, I could see about the mom but I was not going to make any promises. She replied back, saying that her and her family talked and they decided that they did not want to come because I insulted her family by not allowing the boyfriend's mom to come. My sister and my mom think I should still send the invite to them,(They think that if I don't invite them they are going to cause more drama) but my fiancé does not. I'm torn and hurt because I love my cousins and want them to be there but after the ultimatum she gave me and her not listening to my reasons why her boyfriend's mom can't come as well as inviting people without consulting me, I'm leaning more towards to revoking her invitation. WIBTA? | WIBTA for uninviting my cousin to my wedding? | NTA |
10u84rm | I (32M) live in Colorado, and my grandparents (86F and 89M) live in South Carolina. Their only daughter, my mother, passed away when I was 4. I was an only child as well, so they only have 1 full grandchild. My brother and sister are through another marriage so they are not technically related by blood. Last year my grandmother had a stroke. She recovered quickly, although there is noticeable changes. She doesn't socialize anymore and she just doesn't want to do anything really other than call and talk to me (which is perfectly fine, I love talking to my nanny). My grandfather has been in the hospital a few times in the last year, all for heart issues. He refuses to take his medicine anymore and lives on mayonnaise sandwiches despite them being relatively well-off. Yesterday my grandfather had to go to the hospital for major chest pains, but he got angry and left. Today he went back up there for the same reason, and after a few hours the head nurse gave me a call asking his "mental baseline", describing him as yelling shouting and running up and down the halls. The staff eventually made my grandmother leave the premises (they were fussing and she seemed to be antagonizing him). They are both declining in health rather fast; my grandmother mentally and my grandfather physically. I've tried in the past to get an in-home nurse, but my grandmother claims they are stealing from her (she's always believed home nurses do that, it's not a new issue from the stroke or age) or she doesn't like them because they are "ethnic" (she uses worse terms). Oddly, she really wants to go to a nursing home. I can pay for in home nurses and caretakers for several years with my current salary and savings, but my grandmother doesn't want that. They both want me to move back to SC and live with them as their caretaker instead. I miss my childhood home, but I'm certainly not qualified as a caretaker. I'm disabled and honestly can't stand their constant bickering over petty problems (large days long fights have happened over my grandfather simply asking "is that grandchild on the phone?" to her responding "oh just shut up and go outside"). I can't see myself being able to maintain my sanity and finances while caring for them full time, as they live in a very rural area and I work in IT /security. There's no industries nearby where they live that I have skills in. They both tell me I can just work in any job with a computer, and keep suggesting Walmart or McDonald's because "there are computers there, they'll pay you the same as a XYZ security firm". I know I'm technically the "next in line" for care responsibilities, but I live in a place I love, have good jobs, great insurance, and am able to save up substantial funds to buy a house in the future. I don't have any of that back in SC. I have some family and very bad memories, and that's it. Am I the asshole for not wanting to move back? | AITA for not wanting to move across country & be a caregiver for my grandparents? | NTA |
10ul90d | I(38f) am a single mother and offered my son (16m) my old car when he graduates high school? For context, my car is a 2011, but reliable. I don't make a lot but we get by okay. I have put in a lot of work/money into the car; new tires, new alternator and battery, new breaks and regular maintenance. There are still a few minor things that need to be done, the largest being the AC. Note, I would never put my son in an unsafe car and everything is done by a licensed mechanic. My son has always struggled with grades and school and I wanted to motivate him. I mentioned to him that I'm putting so much work into the car so I could give it to him when he graduates and I buy a new car. He scoffed at this and said "Your car doesn't even have AC and it's not really the best, I'd rather save my money and buy a brand new car when I'm like 20." I explained how insurance, car payments, rent(if he moves out) and other bills could make that difficult. He seemed unbothered and uninterested in the car. I was hurt and said he was rude to throw such a valuable gift in my face and it was also rude to insult my current car. AITA for offering him an old car? WIBTA If I stopped putting unnecessary work into the car and just sell it to buy a newer car for myself sooner? | AITA For offering my son my old car? | NTA |
10uskuk | So kind of a long story My wife and I currently live with my mother-in-law (please don’t judge, we are actively house hunting and it is not easy at all). We pay her rent and live in a garage converted studio apartment attached to the house. My wife and I both work mostly from home. I’m a mental health counselor for a private agency with very limited office space, so I can only go in one day a week. Because my wife and I are on top of each other in the studio and I really need to talk to my clients in a private space due to HIPAA (plus I would probably distract her from her work since I’m talking all day long), my mother in law told me I could work in her guest room. It’s been a really good arrangement so far because my MIL told me she never uses the room so I’m not in her way, and I can close the door for privacy. Also I was in an extreme bind of where I would work and this solves my problem. I’ve always let her know how grateful I am for letting me use the space.My wife has an aunt who used to live here. She is the ex-wife of my MIL’s brother and they are very close. She lived here rent free while my wife had to pay rent, which I always thought was pretty fucked up, but my MIL is really good to her sister in law and usually does prioritize her over my wife, and it wasn’t my business. Anyway, my wife’s aunt contacted my MIL to say she needed somewhere to go for a few days and so my MIL told her she can have the guest room. She works during the day so I figured we won’t need the room at the same time, but my MIL basically said she wanted me to find somewhere else to work during those days (she also didn’t specify how many days). I told her that wouldn’t be possible given that my office isn’t available and I need somewhere private. Tomorrow I’m planning on just using the room while aunt is at work, and I’ll take all my stuff out before she gets back so it’s not in her way. I feel like this is fair since part of our arrangement is me using that room for work, but I guess I wonder if I’m being TA, just because usually I’m usually extremely passive and people pleasing and let people walk all over me, and this is my first time really being assertive and standing up for what I need when it comes to my MIL (I like to try to please her).Also, there is no other space to work, there is the guest room, my MIL’s room, and the dining room and kitchen which are common spaces that I don’t want to take over. I don’t think that would even be right | AITA for refusing to leave my home office space? | YTA |
10uwkdl | I bought apple juice and didn't have a fridge myself so I kept it in Friend A's fridge who was absolutely fine with it being there for as long as I wanted. Friend B, who is friends with us both, drank it without asking or telling me after about a week and a half. (Apparently they asked friend A's if it was theirs and when they said no, they took it). The day after they did this I had actually bought a really nice meal that I wanted to drink the juice with (I'm a very broke college student so really nice doesn't really happen that often). When I found out my juice had been drunk I was livid inside but politely and calmly asked friend B to replace it. Some backstory, I'm very big on sharing but my one rule is you must ask. I HATE people taking my stuff without asking and I also don't like it when people expect me to share. I love helping my friends out and offering whatever I can even if they don't ask but I despise the notion that people are entitled to that and I firmly believe that, at the end of the day, if you want something, you should ask for it and not expect it to just be given to you. Friend B knows this and has actually called me annoying because I'm too polite and it irritates them when I ask for something, for example to bottled water or their snacks when I should just take it.Anyway, Friend B wasn't happy that I asked for them to buy me another one because they give me stuff as well and not letting them have the juice was selfish and they would never share their stuff with me again but I maintained that it wasn't them drinking the juice that was the problem, it was them taking it without asking that pissed me off (The meal I bought wasn't planned so if they had asked me the day they drank it, since I wasn't planning on drinking it I would've given it to them, no problem). They still didn't get why I was upset but said they they would replace it, however, for about a month afterwards, I didn't get the drink. I asked in total around four times and each time I did, they got visibly very annoyed which I felt was unfair. I know they went to the campus cafe a lot during that time because I'd often see them coming back with food from there with our friend group (I didn't really fit in with them and felt very unwanted and ignored whenever I hung around with them and I noticed they were hanging out a lot without me before this happened. Eventually I just stopped trying). One day I saw them all together in the cafe and asked them once again for the juice and they finally bought it but they were not happy at all.I don't really think I'm an asshole for wanting the drink but I admit that I might be and that I should've just left it. I also think I could be TA for pestering them about it after asking the first time.If any of this was unclear just let me know and I'll clarify whatever you need me to.edit bc i think ppl might come to this conclusion which is a fair assumption but not true: before this there were no similar issues, the reason i felt excluded is because i don't have many things in common with them and i always felt like an outsider (i'm black british and they're african american which i didn't think would be a big difference but i guess in this case it was). whenever i tried to talk about something i thought we could all relate to they'd ignore me and talk about something else of which i had never heard of before. at some point everytime i hung out with them i was silent in a corner while they talked and felt quite lonely so i stopped hanging out with them as much. | AITA for asking my friend to buy me a replacement apple juice? | YTA |
10v2l6h | Hi I'm new to Reddit so please bear with me if I do something wrong, (also this is probably something stupid and just a small problem in general but it happens to me a lot with my parents).Basically today/for the past few days I have been sick. I have mild asthma that only acts up when I get sick, and my asthma in general has gotten a lot worse since I recovered from covid.I had to go to the GP with my mum in the morning then the ER with my dad because I was struggling to breathe. At the ER I had to stay for a minimum of 3-4 hours before they let me go and my dad had work today (he works from home), therefore it resulted in taking up his time, but he didn't complain. When we had gotten back I still felt short of breath and I imagine they were quite annoyed at me because I had already visited the doctor twice, however they didn't say anything. Due to the fact that I was sick and struggling to breathe they had to fuss around with me and try to make me feel comfortable which I really appreciated. However when I got up from bed to say that I had a really bad cramp in both of my feet my dad claimed that I was being spoiled and shouldn't be complaining about such a small problem. I then asked if he was telling me that the cramps I was experiencing were irrelevant and he said yes since it was "not related to my asthma" and I couldn't possibly have two problems at once because frankly that's just impossible. Either way the pain got so bad that I had to sit down on the floor clutching my cramp and my dad then started to complain about me (in front of my face) with my mum saying that I was being dramatic (she agreed). In that moment I really wished that they would stop being so insensitive and I really detested them but couldn't say anything because then they would most likely drag me out of the house and lock me out for a few hours. AITA? | AITA for hating my parents for invalidating my experiences (not sure if that's the right word) | INFO |
10v4jwk | Hello from London!My husband has sent out flyers to everyone in the neighbourhood with this on:> HM Government logo> **National lockdown 18th March 2023 for 6 weeks**> There will be a national lockdown for 6 weeks beginning 18 March 2023 due to rising COVID figures in the United Kingdom.> All non-essential shops, pubs and restaurants must close, and all food must be takeaway. > You must practise social distancing and wear a face covering when on public transport or shopping.> You must work from home unless you are a medical or a key worker.> You must not socialise with anyone outside your household.> **YOU MUST STAY AT HOME** unless you are shopping for food or medicine.> Fines of £500 will be issued for breaches of this order.> [LINK to lockdown rules]He sent it out to 80 people in the neighbourhood and also to the local high schools as well.I told him there and then he must stop this hoax, but he insisted he knows from a source there's a lockdown coming.My husband works in a food shop, a small business run by a local woman.AITA for telling him to stop this stupid hoax and putting fear of god into people? | AITA for telling my husband to stop this hoax in the neighbourhood which may scare people? | NTA |
10uttjr | I(20f) have a sister (18f) let just say me and my sister normally don’t get along just think of it as Starfire and Blackfire from teen titans, but we stay on good terms sometimes but lately we been having bad blood with each other. This incident happens months ago, but for context i’m not the most organized or cleanest person in the world and made a mess in the living room one time and forgot to clean it up, I do admit that I am in the wrong for that since it was an ass move. Which really upset my sister because when I was on the bus going to work she left a text message saying “ How you’re not embarrassed that a 20 year can’t clean up after herself! I really glad you’re moving out the house because we’re better off without you being in the house without you laying with your good for nothing lazy ass in the house” ,honestly this really upset me, not because she was angry about the mess but the way she said it. Just seeing that my own sister can just texted me that cruel message, I did thought about moving out soon but then decided to move out early due to my sister. I told my parents that I will be moving out in order to be closer to school despite be close to University as it already is. A few months later I moved back in to my mom’s house to save money so that I can go do a study program in Hawai’i as you can already guest my sister wasn’t happy about this and ignored me, she also gave me the side eye whenever we crossed paths. After a few weeks my parents kept asking me the real reason why I moved out since they figured out that I couldn’t just moved out just to be closer to school, so then I told my mom one on one the real reason why I moved out was because I couldn’t take it anymore with my sister always be reminded why feel like shit and feeling like I always been useless, just a burden to the house, but then my mom reassured me that she was the only one who thinks you can and cannot be in the house, since THIS IS HER HOUSE HER RULES. Later on my sister figured out I told my parents the truth and calling me the asshole my brother thinks I’m the also asshole but I told my friends about this and said I’m not at fault here for telling the truth. So am I the asshole for telling my parents the truth? | AITA for telling my parents the real reason why I moved out | NTA |
10uwxts | So I (19F) and my brother (20M) ill call Eli. So Eli and I wanted to throw our mom (now 39 F) a birthday, We got supplies dinner and stuff to make a cake. Our step-dad (who we will call Mike ) works till 11 most nights and doesn't seem to like us all that much scene Eli and I came back home. So we had all the supplies on Moms birthday we went with her to the doctor while we were on our way back home Mike called our mom to ask if chicken parmasaion was okay for dinner, Every year she has Steak and potatoes because it is her favorite meal. So when we got home Mike was pissed we had a plan and was upstaging him. He told my brother and I that he was eating chicken parm so if we wanted to make food we could, he just wouldn't have any. So this may be where i was the ass i got just enough food for my brothers, mom and I. Eli and i made the cake set up decorations and made dinner. Mike and my mom started to fight because we keep upstaging him. I never wanted to cause any problems and now Mike has been avoiding and cold to my brother and I. So i want to know AITA?​sorry if this doesnt make any sense i will answer any questions if need be | AITA for "upstaging" my step-dad on my moms birthday | NTA |
10ur395 | Back in July I had gotten married to my high school sweetheart who will call Chad I found out back in October that my brother finally got engaged to his girlfriend. We found out in December that their wedding was going to be in April. Now in February we still haven’t received any sort of save the date or invitation. We only knew the date of the wedding because my parents had told me. So back in December when I had found out I started looking at plane tickets to try to be there. Even though we have never really been close we have just started getting along as adults, so I wanted to be there for his wedding to support him. while looking at plane tickets I had found out that there were no time frames that would work for my husband to come due to work. Not only that plane tickets for about $800 for one person. My husband and I don’t have a lot of money, since we are so young and just started out on the whole Adulting thing. We decided to go ahead and buy a ticket for me to go since I knew it would be important for my brother and my family. Once my parents found out that Chad was not coming to the wedding they got very upset with me saying I was selfish and inconsiderate for not bringing my husband to my brothers wedding. when I had tried to explain that we could only afford for me to go, and even if we could afford for Chad to go there was no timing that would work. Since due to both of our jobs it would be if we fly in Friday night stay for the Saturday wedding fly out Sunday morning. They just said I was being selfish for not willing to spend a lot of money to get to my brothers wedding even though he spent a grand to come to mine. Now anytime that I tried to talk to my parents they bring up The wedding and ask if I have looked again to see Chad could go. But every time I look ticket prices are still about $700 for one, and there is only one flight that could work but it would mean he flys all night and then arrives about 5 hours before the wedding but one ticket is $850. my parents had also somehow found out that my husband is due for a bonus sometime in March to May and are complaining that we aren’t using that money to buy the plane ticket. Even though we don’t have that money and don’t know how much we’re getting. And we are both very uncomfortable with spending money we don’t have. They said that I should just put it on my credit card and just pay it off later when I get a chance. Though I am very uncomfortable with that because I don’t want to go into debt over sending my husband who has met my brother maybe 5 times to my brothers wedding. Am I the asshole? | AITA for not going into debt for brothers wedding? | NTA |
10uu4hk | English is not my first language and I'm on mobile 🙂I (38F) am disabled. I have both physical (lots of joints problems and knee malformation) and psychiatric disabilities (I'm autistic). I have an official card that allows me to park on special spots. My daughter (1F) has Down Syndrome and has the same card. You need to be at least 80 % disabled to get the card. My SO (39M) doesn't drive, it's relevant. I recently had to move out because of moisture and mold problems, heating wasn't working and isolation was nonexistent. My daughter's room's ceiling had a big hole and it was raining inside. Landlord wouldn't do anything and my daughter caught bronchitis, which is life-threatening for her as she has a heart condition. We had the chance to find a nice flat and had to move in quickly. It was exhausting, I had to drive back and forth with my little car and take care of all paperwork (my country loves administrative papers!). My SO is just unable to fill a form... The last day my aunt (62F) and uncle (61M) came to give a hand as my uncle has a truck and a trailer. They moved furniture and appliance that wouldn't fit in my little car. I was at the new place tidying and taking care of my daughter when they arrived with all the big stuff. I had parked on the disabled spot as I was exhausted, boitering in pain and on the verge of a meltdown (had to take diazepam). I rarely park on disabled spots unless I really need it, if I'm OK I park on normal spots and let disabled spots free for someone who needs it more than I do. This day no normal spots were available near the entrance of the building. So my uncle began yelling at me that I shouldn't park on a disabled spot and required that I move my car. I asked him if I forgot to display my card on the windshield (he might not be aware that I had a card). He yelled that the neighbor (60sF) needs it more as she REALLY is disabled and I'm not. I told him I would move my car when I finish unloading it and the neighbor would be able to park. He yelled more and more YOU'RE NOT DISABLED!!! My family never accepted my disabilities, even with medical certificates and State acknowledgement. For them I'm just lazy. I'm a SAHM and got State allowance for disabled people for my daughter and myself. My SO works. I wouldn't budge as I wasn't able to drive after taking diazepam. My aunt and uncle left angry and I moved my car a couple of hours later. So Reddit, AITA? | AITA Parked on a disabled spot | NTA |
10v49w9 | My girlfriend (33F, we’ll call her Jane) just launched her career in Real Estate as a buyers agent. She is currently on her second week of being in the office. She’s still in the learning phase of her career, and it often takes anywhere from 2 - 6 months to produce your first sale.My brother (48M, we’ll call him Ricky) has been renting our childhood home from our parents for the past decade. Ricky has decided he is going to buy a house with his fiancé(50F). The decision has been made that our Childhood home is going on the market to be sold.Ricky and my parents agree that the childhood home needs renovations before it is ready to hit the market. Ricky is pretty handy and has decided to take on almost all of the remodeling himself. The 3 Bedroom 2 bathroom house is getting all new flooring, carpet, paint, vanities, as well as general facelifts to the exterior. Ricky has been calling Jane and I for the past two weeks demanding that we help him with the renovations since we are both going to “benefit from this”. Ricky has been calling Jane, telling her what kind of house they are looking for, giving her details and ideas, essentially providing her with the notion that Jane is going to be their Buyers Agent.Jane and I were a bit hesitant with his demands for help, feeling that he should hire professional help instead of doing all renovations with just him and I, but I owe him a few favors and decided I would help with the renovations. I spent about 10 hours today at the house removing old flooring and vanities, helping where I could.When I came home, Jane asked if Ricky was still interested in using her as a buyers agent, as she wanted to get started on searching for listings with Ricky. I shot Ricky a text: “Jane is so excited to work with you! Let her know when you want to get started looking for houses!”Ricky responded: “Jane can help by selling our parents house.”Naturally this upset Jane, as she is not a listing agent and would not be able to sell the house at this time. She was really looking forward to working with Ricky to find his future home, and now she feels insulted that she is not getting his business nor his trust.Ricky is using a family friend that has been in the real estate business for over 20 years and has helped multiple family members buy property. Jane understood Ricky’s decision but this still was a blow to her ego.Insulted by the fact that he was leading Jane on and ultimately not using her as his buyers agent, I texted Ricky: “that’s unfortunate. Jane is not a listing agent, she’s a buyers agent. She won’t be able to do much in the way of selling our parents house. Good luck with the remaining renovations. We’ll see you at the next family holiday.”He has not responded yet, but I feel a sense of dread. I feel that I may have taken it too far, but I also feel like it was a dick move on his part to not use Jane as his buyers agent. Am I the asshole for not helping my brother with the remaining renovations? | AITAH for not helping my brother? | NTA |
10usyr9 | I (24M) am the only son of my parents (55F and 56M). They divorced when I was only two months old due to him cheating on my mom. She got my custody, and he had visitation every other weekend, when I would stay at his house, where he lives with my stepmother (50F) and my half-brother (16M). When I went it would all go pretty well, no major conflicts.Here in Spain a divorced parent has to pay child support until the child is 26 or they can support themself on their own. He's started multiple legal procedures to reduce the amount he pays (something like €350 a month) or stop paying at all. Lately he's been insistent that I find a job, which I'm looking for as well as I finish my studies in web development.He's told his lawyer to say that he wants to stop paying because now his wife lost her job (she left it) and he can't pay anymore with just one salary (I'm sure she's got right to unemployment compensation, also his salary isn't that low). I told him I was looking for a job but that I wanted to prioritise more my studies (I'm two subjects away from finishing), so he told the lawyer I'm not looking AT ALL for a job and that I only got two subjects from a "little computing course". It's not the first time he pulls something like that, and he always tries to pay less or not pay. He straight up would refuse to pay his half of my college tuition even if he knew my mom can't pay it all alone. Or the time he bought me a phone and put me on a good plan that he said he'd pay, just to find out he was using the money on MY ACCOUNT, that my grandma gave me, to pay for it. He's always complaining and trying to get me on his side. I'm pretty much getting tired of all this.I kept going every other weekend because I thought I could trust him and that he wouldn't try to screw me over what I tell him. He's had a lot of opportunities but he always screwed it. I'm done and I'll tell him it's over, that he always failed me and cared more about his money than about me.WIBTA if I stop going and tell him it's because of his stunts, even though they'll say they miss me and I should go more often? He will probably tell my grandma how "it's a shame" so she'll tell me they're so sad. The woman has a good heart but he makes her believe what he wants. I'm just tired of those stunts but I'm afraid I'll sound too harsh or something if I straight up say I can no longer trust him and that has made me not want to visit him.Lastly: sorry for any grammar or spelling issues. I'm on a phone and English is not my first languages.Edit: for clarification, in Europe is fairly normal to support children until they can afford to live on their own, doesn't matter if it's until 18 or until 35. | WIBTA If I stop call out my father for his greed and tell him I'll stop going to his house? | NTA |
10uzn1f | I (21f) have a complicated relationship with my parents. Most times, we’re great. I love them, and I know they love me. But the reason it’s complicated (messed up actually) is my father has been in multiple affairs ever since I was a little kid, and my parents have gotten into fights over that for years… But she hasn’t divorced him because of poor health, and she believes I need a father figure. I’ve grown up with that my whole life. Every year, they’ll fight, my mom threatens to leave, I comfort her, my dad asks for forgiveness. And then things are okay again. I currently live away from my parents, but I text my mom often. And their fight has happened again recently, so my mom has been telling me how she’s angry and can’t wait to divorce him. My mom expects me to comfort her which I try to do of course. But this time, I wasn’t asking her as many questions about what they fought over since I already know… it’s the same usual thing. But I think my mom has interpreted this as me not caring about her. She says that I’ve changed and that she doesn’t need anyone. When I try to explain myself, she always gets angrier and says I’m talking back. Out of anger, I blocked both my parents, so they’re unable to contact me. Does that make me the AH? Should I unblock them? | AITA for blocking my parents? | NTA |
10uqi8d | My (16m) mom and I have a good relationship, and I know she loves me, but she can be really overprotective of me and my siblings sometimes. I know it's only because she loves us and everything, and I know I should just let it go, but it gets so hard because I feel like there's no privacy. My siblings also all (mostly) think the same thing. For example, she's gone through our rooms before. I don't know if that's normal for a parent to do or not, but whenever she thinks something's up and someone's keeping secrets from her, she just searches through our rooms to try and see if we're hiding anything. Recently she stopped doing this with my oldest sister because she's practically an adult and my mom trusts her, but my other sisters, my brother and I still deal with this. My mom also has read my younger sister's journal multiple times and then got mad at her for something my sister wrote.Nobody (minus my oldest sister) really opens up to her and tells her things, because my mom tends to try and handle everyone's problems herself. I know she's looking out for her kids, but sometimes there's problems we can handle without her help, and we're all older now. One time she yelled at some kids at my school (in front of people) because they were making fun of me, and this just made a bunch of kids make fun of me more. Yesterday my brother came to me and told me that my mom had been looking through our room earlier. I was already not feeling well so I got annoyed quickly, and so I went to confront her about it. She told me, "I'm your mom, and I have a right to do this." I told her that she can't just go into someone else's room without asking and go searching through all their stuff. My dad came in and yelled at me, and he told me that I'm being disrespectful and took my phone until after dinner. I don't know if I should just ignore it or not, and I guess I might've been rude, so aita? Side note: my mom is a really sweet person and I know she loves me. Her only issue is that she's overbearing, but she's overall a pretty good mother in my opinion. | AITA for telling my mom she can't just go into someone's room and snoop? | NTA |
10ust7y | I (20F) am a junior in college and live with my parents. The issue happened yesterday between me and my dad (50M). I had to stay late on campus and my bf, just started dating, let me stay at his place for the second night in a row so I wouldn't have to make my long commute that late. He dropped me off at home in the morning and had breakfast with all of us. My dad has a few knives that he doesn't let anyone use, there's nothing sentimental about them, he just likes having a few knives of his own. That's completely fine and no one touches them, we use the many other knives we have. I was running around the kitchen and trying to get everything on the table quickly since we had a guest. There was a knife next to the already cut bread, so I assumed that's the knife they used to cut bread, and cut a few more pieces off. I truly did not notice that it was my dad's knife, it looks almost identical to the regular big knife we have, if I did, I wouldn't touch it.Fast forward to the end of the day when I'm already in bed and I hear screaming from the kitchen. Next thing I know is my dad comes into my room and asks if I used his knife, I told him that I don't think I did. He asked if I cut the bread that morning and that's when it hit me that it was his knife. I told him that I didn't notice which knife it was since I was running around and setting the table. I probably should've apologized right then and there but I didn't have the time. He started yelling at me about it, called me a moron, cursed me out, slammed the door and left. I kind of just froze and burst into tears, he very rarely raises his voice, let alone curses at any of us. He didn't speak to me this morning and hasn't said a word to me all day. I've been in my room doing schoolwork and honestly don't want to talk to him either. My mom told me that he just said it in the heat of the moment and didn't mean it, that his words don't cancel out any good things he's done. I know the don't, but it was incredibly hurtful. She suggested I apologize, I told her that I would if he didn't scream and curse at me.I heard her bring up the subject to him a few times today. More screaming every time it was brought up, just at her this time. I know I should've paid attention to which knife I grabbed but I just don't think that it warrants such a reaction. So, am I the asshole for not wanting to apologize? | AITA for not wanting to apologize to my dad after using his knife? | NTA |
10uovga | So I (22F) got married a few weeks ago to the love of my life (M24). We are together for 6 years know and have known each other for 11 years. He is catholic and believes in god. I bother other hand am neither in any religious organisation nor do I firmly believe in a god. I think maybe there is something bigger than us but I don’t know. My husband always wanted to have a church wedding to get the sacrament combined with it because it’s important for him. I have no aversions to faith or wishes like that and so we got a courthouse wedding just for us both and a big wedding at church. The pastor and the bishop (not sure if these are the appropriate translations) we’re fine with it, we were fine with it, so no harm right?Well sadly no. His uncle got super worked up during the reception. He asked If I was also catholic which I denied and told me I was an AH for stealing and using other peoples beliefs and traditions. He then left the reception with much drama and yelling. I was always insecure about me not being religious while my husband is, and this pushed it a bit. Am I really an AH for fulfilling my husbands wish and getting married in church while not believing in god? | AITA for being married in a church | NTA |
10uwojn | Here's a little back story. In the beginning of August I was approached by my best friend's mother who had custody of her grandchild. She can no longer handle her as she was being rebellious and acting like her biological mother. Her biological mother was not helping like she promised and grandma worked too much so she asked me if I could take her and I did. And I also has custody of her little sister who's 13 so big sister is 15.fast forward to Yesterday. I made plans with her mother to come see her at my home and spend time with her and she's supposed to be dropped off by one of her friends. Today she advised me that the plan have changed a little bit that her 1 friend who is picking her up wants her to visit there for a few hours and then she would come to my house for a few hours and then she would need me to drive her home which I agreed you. She also told me that she had her 13 year olds with her So that way the girls could see each other. Well she went to her friend's house and her oldest went over So she had longer with her sister and her mother. Well they're supposed to come to my house and have arrived as they knew that my toddlers go to bed starting the routine at 7 and end by 8. Well that was canceled and I had to go pick up the 15 year olds. When I went to pick up to 15 year old the mother thought that I would still drive her home after bailing and not coming to my house to spend time with me or my other children so I told her no I am not driving her home. After I told her this her daughter had advised me that her mother had done nothing but talk s*** about me when she was there and said she had no plans of actually coming to my house. Girl is supposed to be my best friend since I was 13 years old.. Over 26 years friendship down the drain. Feel bad for the 13 year olds who have schools tomorrow but I'm not gonna allow the mother to use me And talk s***. Her mom texted me and called me a bitch for not driving her. I explained and she didn't care. | AITA for canceling a ride after being ditched | NTA |
10uwo4w | My (22f) childhood best friend (25f) became friends because our moms worked together so we were really close up until my senior year of highschool. We became distant before then because our moms had a very big big fallout (her mom was very rude and mean to my mom). I then began distancing myself a few years later (senior year of highschool, 2018) because she started having different point of views of things that she was being publicly threatened for and i did not want to be associated with someone who had those views. five years later she starts getting in touch with me and about things and we hung out once and it was weird and a few days later she asks to be a bridesmaid. At first i said yes but then things were getting planned and i just felt weird about the whole thing because we hadn't really spoke in 5 years??? so i told her the truth, i am happy for her and i would love to attend the wedding but it would be uncomfortable for me to be apart of it due to our distance in friendship and our moms' fallout. so am i the asshole for not being in her wedding? | AITA for not wanting to be apart my childhood best friend's wedding party? | NTA |
10uzhfs | hello, my (18F) boyfriend (17M) and I have been dating for a month know. I was an exchange student from Brazil going to Canada for 6 months in August of 2022. I met him at the beginning of my program and we ended up dating in the beginning of January after becoming super close. I came back to Brazil 2 weeks ago, and since then long-distance has been super hard on both of us, but we have strong feelings for each other, so we're going through with it.Recently, our plans of him visiting me in July changed as his dad refused to sign his passport for him to travel internationally alone, as he only turns 18 in September, so I decided to go visit him in July. July is the only month I can do this, as the rest of the year I'll be having preparatory classes to get into university, which are from monday to saturday and sometimes sundays. I plan on visiting for the month.I have a best friend (18F) from the states (let's call her Elizabeth), whom I've known for 7+ years, and we haven't seen each other since August. She got married to her 1 year long boyfriend, and now lives with him. Elizabeth was planning on visiting me this year, but we couldn't really find a time for that as July would be too expensive and other times I'll be too busy.I told her today I'd be visiting my boyfriend in July, and immediately she got pissed at me, claiming I was choosing him over her, that she'd never choose a man over me, invalidating my relationship as it's something new, and saying I'm a shit friend. I'm hurting a lot and crying over not being able to see and hug and kiss my boyfriend, and I desperately want to see him at any chance given, as I don't know when the next one will come.I told her I don't want to choose and that I'm not choosing anyone but myself, as I'm hurting a lot... She blocked me on everything and refuses to listen to me, but I was always there for her when she was hurting for her husband.so, AITA?Edit: my mistake! I haven't seen Elizabeth since August 2018!! | AITA for "choosing" my boyfriend? | NTA |
10utp6p | So, basically, I read a fic I didn't like. The writing was terrible, and I thought the characters are very OOC. But that's not the issue. I posted about it in my twitter circle (in case you don't know, because I didn't a few months ago, a feature that makes my tweets viewable to only select people), naming the fic and calling it unreadable because of the writing. Someone in the circle commented that I was being an arse because I was crapping on something which someone made for free. Which I completely understand. I don't write mean comments on fics I don't like, nor do I publicly name them and post about them. This was a PRIVATE group. It'd be just like going into a group chat with friends and talking shit about the fic there, which is completely normal thing to do. It's just like talking shit about a real person to your friends. You do it to vent, not to send hate to the person. I didn't tell anyone to send hate to the author, just voiced my opinion to a few people I like. I don't see how I'm the arsehole here.Also, the person who told me I was TA was a fan of the fic, which I think had something to do with their comment.So, AITA? | AITA for tweeting about a fanfic I don't like? | YTA |
10tibnm | We recently got 2 horses. My younger daughter (13f) wanted them as she's been learning to ride. My older daughter (17f) was against them, she's much more "princessy" and didn't want to deal with the mess and chores that come with horses, but we told her it wouldn't be something she'd have to deal with and that her younger sister promised to take care of all of it.Well, recently the older daughter has been disrespectful at home and staying out too late, and her grades have been slipping. We warned her to shape up, but last week when we heard that she'd been needlessly insulting to her younger sister while I was our running errands, I told her that she'd be cleaning out the stable each day for the next week as punishment, and that her sister would get a break.She got really upset and offended, and said we promised she'd never have to go in there or have to scoop horse poop. I said I promised it wouldn't be one of your chores, of course, but obviously a punishment is supposed to be something outside of your normal chores and something you won't like, and I thought it was perfectly fair here.She's been doing it three days now but seems to be very resentful of our "broken promise," acting very disgusted, and keeps begging to get out of the rest of it. But I said I thought it's very fair and that she's overreacting.AITA?tl;dr Made older daughter clean stables as punishment despite saying she wouldn't have to, she thinks the punishment goes too far. | AITA for making our daughter (17f) clean our horse's stalls against her will? | YTA |