Khalida1w/funny_quotes · Datasets at Hugging Face

quote stringlengths 7 3.79k	author stringlengths 3 52	tags sequence
“Anna shuddered. "Orange is not the colour of seduction, Christopher. Orange is the colour of despair, and pumpkins.”	Cassandra Clare,	[ "annalightwood", "fashion", "funny", "humor", "orange", "pumpkin", "pumpkins" ]
“Hey,” Shayne said through the door. “You going to stay in there all night, because we’re getting tired of trying to eavesdrop from out here. Can’t hear a damn thing.”	Jill Shalvis,	[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]
“I'm talking about doing something good for mankind. Imagine how awesome everyone would feel if they knew all that holy stuff was real." -Gregori"Stuff? Four years of giving sermons, and that what I get back? Holy stuff?”	Kerrelyn Sparks,	[ "funny" ]
“Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.”	Chuck Palahniuk,	[ "funny", "hilarious", "witty" ]
“Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.”	Russell Brand,	[ "church", "comedy", "funny", "humor", "robots" ]
“That's so cute! They have birdbaths in the church!”	Hilary Duff,	[ "elixir", "funny", "hilary-duff" ]
“She didn’t sound overjoyed. She didn’t sound even slightly joyed.”	Sarah Mayberry,	[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-comedy" ]
“I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.”	Bauvard,	[ "funny", "humor", "writing" ]
“Put me down, I’m too heavy.”“You’re small enough to fit in my pocket.”	Sarah Mayberry,	[ "contemporary-romance", "funny", "humour", "romance" ]
“Shut. Up," June squealed. "You have a date with that guy?" She giggled and covered her mouth. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Tell me everything.""I can't do both," I pointed out.”	Robin Benway,	[ "funny" ]
“Only then did I see. Something was amiss with Patrick's snap-on one piece, or "onesie" as we manly dads like to call it. His chubby thighs, I now realized, were squeezed into the armholes, which were so tight they must have been cutting off his circulation. The collared neck hung between his legs like an udder. Up top, Patrick's head stuck out through the unsnapped crotch, and his arms were lost somewhere in the billowing pant legs. It was quite a look.”	John Grogan,	[ "funny", "john-grogan" ]
“If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?”	Steven Wright	[ "funny", "humor" ]
“Divorce runs high these days, but I’m an exception to the norm. I got divorced when marriage was still popular.”	Bauvard,	[ "funny", "humor", "marriage" ]
“What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”	Stephen King,	[ "dark-tower-series", "funny", "humourous" ]
“He's wearing flannel!" Alan yelped. "He's shoving his straight in my face!”	K.D. Sarge,	[ "funny", "gay", "no-flannel" ]
“Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages.”	Bauvard,	[ "funny", "humor", "love" ]
“The rage that had expolded inside me diffused. I didn't know where it had come from. I had a short temper and often acted impulsively,but this had been intense and ugly even for me. Weird.”	Richelle Mead,	[ "funny" ]
“People keep asking "Jacob or Edward?" when the really important question is "Diamond Dave or Sammy?”	Ysabeau S. Wilce	[ "funny", "twilight", "van-halen" ]
“At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue’s opinion, was far more hellish than anything they’d discussed to this point.”	Maggie Stiefvater,	[ "blue-sargent", "funny", "richard-gansey-iii" ]
“Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).”	John D. Rhodes	[ "daft", "dance", "funny", "humor", "rain", "shoes", "silly" ]
“Travis: The Aphrodite kids were ripping each other’s clothes and throwing lipstick and jewellery. It was like a rabid herd of wild Bratz.”	Rick Riordan,	[ "funny", "pranks", "travis-barker" ]
“It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.”	F. Scott Fitzgerald,	[ "20s", "dating", "fitzgerald", "flapper", "funny", "gatsby", "girls", "head-and-shoulders", "humor", "humorous", "kissing", "kissing-quotes", "lol", "love", "romance", "zelda" ]
“We need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in.”	Bauvard,	[ "deforestation", "funny", "humor", "trees" ]
“Why...do you find this...distracting?”	Suzanne Collins,	[ "action", "finnick-odair", "funny", "mockingjay", "the-hunger-games" ]
“Nancy was so thrilled, I thought she was going to kiss me—and I thought I was actually going to have to hit a chick.”	Jennifer L. Armentrout,	[ "funny", "humor" ]
“He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur.“I’m definitely thinking something with more body parts,” I said. “Like a head.”He gave a snort of a laugh. “It’s probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too.”	Kelley Armstrong,	[ "funny" ]
“I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral.”	John Green,	[ "augustus-waters", "funeral", "funny" ]
“Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.”	Criss Jami,	[ "dishonesty", "funny", "funny-but-true", "honesty", "humor", "silence", "tolerance", "truth", "virtue", "virtue-signalling" ]
“The stars have a strong effect on our daily shopping lives. Hollywood is astrology’s only credible conspiracy.”	Bauvard,	[ "astrology", "celebrities", "funny", "humor" ]
“We need to revitalize the American spirit. People are always asking ‘What would the founding fathers do,’ but I have yet to witness a single séance.”	Bauvard,	[ "funny", "humor", "patriotism" ]
“Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.”	Darynda Jones,	[ "funny", "humour", "zombies" ]
“Hermits have no peer pressure.”	Steven Wright	[ "funny", "humor" ]
“Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.”	Darynda Jones	[ "funny", "humor", "snarky", "witty" ]
“I'd sold my soul to get out of detention.”	Jennifer Lynn Barnes,	[ "funny", "toby", "unbelievable" ]
“His hand cups the back of my neck, and before I can think, he dips down and our mouths meet. For a split second I worry that he thinks he's kissing Courtney. But that instant the warmth of his soft lips spreads into mine, all thoughts dissolve. Pure feeling is all I have left. Little electric sparks sip through my bloodstream, making sure every nerve in my body is focused on his amazing mouth.”	Tera Lynn Childs,	[ "funny", "humor", "kissing" ]
“What's a slut?" I ask him."A girl who puts out too easily.""Puts out what?" I imagine Greer putting out dinner and don't understand what Iwan wouldn't like about that."Puts out, you know..." His face, already beet red from our run, turns a darker scarlet. "Sex."I wonder where Greer puts the sex out.”	Rachel Cohn,	[ "beta", "funny", "ya" ]
“I don't have a master. I'm not sure if I have an equal.”	Laurell K. Hamilton,	[ "defiant", "funny" ]
“My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.”	Molly Harper,	[ "funny", "grandpa", "jane-jameson", "molly-harper", "nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs", "remarried" ]
“Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing research on his wife.”	Pawan Mishra,	[ "funny", "humor", "husband", "marriage", "marriage-advice", "marriage-humor", "marriage-issues", "relationship", "wife" ]
“Don’t believe what you hear about those penguins. A species of lazy waddlers. Their extinction is immanent.”	Benson Bruno,	[ "extinction", "funny", "penguins" ]
“Do you remember our first kiss? I do. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the feel of that bicuspid against my tongue. It had such a distinctive feel, neither cuspid nor molar…but I’m not sure it knew that – that was what endeared it to me so. It was like the blunted tusk of a wild boar.”	Benson Bruno,	[ "first-kiss", "funny", "teeth" ]
“Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses.”	Bauvard,	[ "funny", "humor", "trees" ]
“I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress" said Jem. "And for what it's worth, I don't think Will could fight in that dress either.""Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride.”	Cassandra Clare,	[ "clockwork-princess", "funny", "jem-carstairs", "will-herondale" ]
“Dear sirs, The cold war isn’t over. When national borders fail, the epidermis is the last line of defense. We are counting on you.Sincerely,Patriot”	Benson Bruno,	[ "cold-war", "funny", "patriotism", "sunscreen" ]
“No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cute enough to kiss you.”	Frank Ocean	[ "bogus", "funny", "hip-hop", "horomones", "in-the-moment", "life-and-living", "r-and-b" ]
“She’s a lunatic,” says Conrad.“Absolutely insane,” says Guntram.“Either completely fearless or utterly stupid,” says Conrad.“She’s going to fit right in,” says Guntram.”	Emily Lloyd-Jones,	[ "criminals", "funny", "sci-fi", "ya-lit" ]
“While we’re at it, why don’t we add a third emotion to this list: lust. You are probably unaware that Linnaeus lumped the tomato into the same genus as the potato, a food with a reputation for its widespread availability and easy satisfaction of oral needs.”	Benson Bruno,	[ "funny", "lust", "potatoes", "tomatoes" ]
“Divination is turning out to be much more trouble than I could have foreseen, never having studied the subject myself.”	J.K. Rowling,	[ "divination", "funny" ]
“I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream.”	Amy Summers,	[ "dreaming", "dreams", "funny", "humor", "life", "relationships", "sleep", "sleeping" ]
“You know, I don’t get why Fred and George only got three O.W.L.s each,” said Harry, watching as Fred, George, and Lee collected gold from the eager crowd. “They really know their stuff. . . .”“Oh, they only know flashy stuff that’s no real use to anyone,” said Hermione disparagingly.“No real use?” said Ron in a strained voice. “Hermione, they’ve got about twenty-six Galleons already. . . .”	J.K. Rowling,	[ "fred-weasley", "funny", "george-weasley", "useless-talents" ]
“What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away.”	Anne Carson,	[ "funny", "humor" ]
“I know because I read. Might I suggest you try it?”	Libba Bray,	[ "funny", "reading" ]
“Eve talking to someone on her computer and having trouble with the language translator....."I have two like crimes. Your data and your input on Leclerk would be very helpful"Marie pursed her lips and humor danced in her eyes."It says you would like to have sex with me. I don't think that is correct""Oh, for Christ sake" Eve slammed a fist against the machine.....”	J.D. Robb,	[ "funny" ]
“Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.”	Mokokoma Mokhonoana	[ "adage", "adages", "afraid", "africa", "african", "aphorism", "aphorisms", "avoid", "axiom", "axioms", "deep", "depress", "depressed", "depressing", "depression", "dictum", "dictums", "epigram", "epigrams", "fear", "fearful", "funny", "gnome", "gnomes", "humor", "humorous", "humour", "impression", "in-public", "insightful", "made-me-think", "make-you-think", "maxim", "maxims", "philosopher", "philosophy", "private", "profound", "proverb", "proverbs", "provoke-thought", "public", "quotation", "quotations", "quote", "quote-of-the-day", "quotes", "satire", "satirical", "satirist", "satirists", "saying", "sayings", "seem", "south-africa", "south-african", "stoic", "stoicism", "stoics", "suicidal", "suicide", "think", "thinker", "thinkers", "thinking", "thought-provoking", "thoughtful" ]
“I can pay you."He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure there are services for that.Maybe you can try calling 1-800-HOOKERS or something?""You know the number well?”	Kasie West,	[ "banter", "funny", "love" ]
“The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and the extremely handy and versatile The However Long It Takes Me to Pick Up This Food Rule.”	Neil Pasricha,	[ "5-second-rule", "dirty", "food", "funny", "germs" ]
“My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.”	Tina Fey,	[ "funny", "impolite", "kids", "mcdonalds", "mother" ]
“The Dimwit's Guide to the Female Mind might assist your efforts in understanding human females. But it must be pointed out that this subject can be a dangerous adventure and should be undertaken with extreme caution. After all, human males have been trying to understand their females for generations, and most of the time they come away from these encounters looking like someone stuck their tails into an electric socket.”	Anne Bishop,	[ "advice", "amusing", "baffled", "book", "caution", "confuse", "confusion", "dangerous", "female", "funny", "guide", "human", "humor", "laugh", "learn", "mars", "mind", "truth", "understand", "understanding", "venus" ]
“Colin : “Perhaps now is the time to tell you that I have a weakness for agreeable women.”Sugar Beth : “Well, that sure does leave me out.”Colin : “Exactly. With agreeable women, I’m unendingly considerate. Gallant even.”Sugar Beth : “But with tarts like me, the gloves are off, is that it?”Colin : “I wouldn’t exactly call you a tart. But then, I tend to be broad-minded.”She suppressed the urge to dump her porridge in his lap.”	Susan Elizabeth Phillips,	[ "funny", "susan-elizabeth-phillips" ]
“Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first”	S.A. Bodeen,	[ "funny", "s-a-bodeen", "the-compound", "wit" ]
“My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.”	Chelsea Handler,	[ "funny", "humor" ]
“Wait,” he said, pulling me to a stop when I tried to march off toward my destiny. “Is there something you want to tell me?” I looked at him, trying to think of anything I’d done recently that I needed to admit to. When nothing came to mind other than the usual, I shook my head. “Not really. Why?” He reached out and touched my leather jacket. “Is that a bullet hole?” Freaking great.”	Jaye Wells,	[ "funny" ]
“A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.”	Erma Bombeck	[ "friendship", "funny" ]
“A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of thought in making you.”	Khaled Hosseini	[ "female", "funny", "humor", "male" ]
“By the light," he said, when he had mastered himself. "I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars.”	Alison Croggon,	[ "funny", "humor", "sarcastic" ]
“Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.”	Chelsea Handler,	[ "funny", "humor", "humorous" ]
“Listen, Harr,y can I have a go on it? Can I?""I don't think anyone should ride that broom just yet!" said Hermoine shrilly.Harry and Ron looked at her."What d'you think Harry's going to do with it - sweep the floor?" said Ron.”	J.K. Rowling,	[ "broomstick", "firebolt", "funny", "harry-potter", "hermoine", "humor", "ron" ]
“She turns to us, acts surprised to see us, then does the bit with the back of the hand to the forehead. "You're lost!" "You're angry!" "You're in the wrong school!" "You're in the wrong country!" "You're on the wrong planet!”	Laurie Halse Anderson,	[ "funny", "school", "spanish-class" ]
“Matt would stare at Andrew for 10 minutes. It's depressing that people are different. Everyone should be one person, who should then kill itself in hand-to-hand combat.”	Tao Lin	[ "funny" ]
“I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.”	Victor Borge	[ "borge", "funny", "humor", "humorous", "requests", "victor", "victor-borge" ]
“Do you ever take a holiday? Like, do any of you just wake up and think ‘Today feels like a pyjama day.’? or is it always, ‘Today is a good day for murdering and stalking.’?”	Catherine Doyle,	[ "funny", "humor", "sophie-gracewell" ]
“Dammit Bard, you're going to set the cat on fire.”	V.E. Schwab,	[ "alucard-emery", "cat", "delilah-bard", "funny", "humor", "magic" ]
“Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started.”	William Safire	[ "funny" ]
“[Clover] secretly hitched a ride with a nice German couple and their new baby...Clover appeared to the baby, so as to be a delightful, soothing surprise. Well, the child did like Clover. In fact, she held him and cooed. When the parents turned around to look at her and saw their child holding a furry, living creature, they needlessly panicked.”	Obert Skye,	[ "clover", "food", "funny", "geth", "hungry", "winter" ]
“He’d done it like he did everything else—with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her.”	Kaylea Cross,	[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]
“Naturally the villagers blamed bears. No one had ever seen a bear in Gavaldon, but this made them more determined to find one. Four years later, when two more children vanished, the villagers admitted they should have been more specific and declared black bears the culprit, bears so black they blended with the night. But when children continued to disappear every four years, the village shifted their attention to burrowing bears, then phantom bears, then bears in disguise. . . Until it became clear it wasn't it wasn't bears at all.”	Soman Chainani,	[ "bears", "funny" ]
“He should probably make love to her.”	Tara Janzen,	[ "contemporary-romance", "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]
“Misery, thy name is Mudslide”	Molly Harper,	[ "funny", "humour", "paranormal-romance" ]
“Sorry, Bex," Jason said "You don't have the recognizable facial characteristics - such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes - that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here...well, just look at her." "Atleast I can blow-dry my hair straight," I pointed out. "Which is more than what I can say for your nose, Hawkface.”	Meg Cabot	[ "be", "cabot", "funny", "how", "mastermind", "meg", "nickname", "popular", "to", "witty" ]
“A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.”	H.L. Mencken	[ "black-cat", "blind", "cat", "funny", "humor", "joke", "lie", "lies", "looking", "man", "metaphysics", "misattributed-h-l-mencken", "philosopher", "philosophy", "religion", "search", "theologian", "theology", "untruth", "untruthful", "wishful-thinking" ]
“Hey, Ethan.""Yeah?""Remember the Twinkie on the bus? The one I gave you in second grade, the day we met?""The one you found on the floor and gave me without telling me? Nice."He grinned and shot the ball. "It never really fell on the floor. I made that part up.”	Kami Garcia,	[ "confession", "ethan-wate", "friendship", "funny", "sharing", "twinkie" ]
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him participate in synchronized diving.”	Cuthbert Soup,	[ "diving", "funny", "horses", "water" ]
“Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won’t sparkle in the sunshine, he’ll just marry you.”	Nick Shamhart	[ "funny", "humor", "humorous" ]
“It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”	Sean Covey,	[ "admitting-faults", "children", "funny", "parents" ]
“Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They . . . they talk!''Talk?' He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. 'We talk all the time, Raine. I've never had such talkative sex.''That's just it!' She wiggled, flailed, but couldn't budge him. 'Two minutes alone with you, and I'm flat on my back. Every single time!'A slow, knowing grin spread over his face. 'Is this your way of telling me you want to be on top?”	Shannon McKenna,	[ "funny", "humor", "relationships", "sex" ]
“I love the sound of it," Trina whispers, as if speaking too loudly might interrupt the drumming patter of the rain outside. "It makes me want to sleep. Snuggle my head right up in your armpit and snore for three days.""My armpit?" Mark repeats. "Good thing we all showered up in the storm this morning. My pits smell like roses. Go ahead and get comfy.”	James Dashner,	[ "cute", "funny", "sarcastic" ]
“... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?”	Christopher Moore,	[ "afterword", "funny", "martial-arts" ]
“Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward”	J.R. Ward,	[ "funny", "tips", "writing" ]
“If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.”	Kinky Friedman	[ "funny", "humorous", "inspirational", "life" ]
“Okay, first of all, I didn’t sleep with you to make amends. I slept with you because I wanted to.”He still didn’t say anything, and she pointed at him again. “And you know what? It was your own damn fault. It was those jeans you wear, and the tool belt. It was the size of your hammer!”	Jill Shalvis,	[ "alpha", "erotica", "erotica-romance", "funny", "romance", "romance-nove", "sexy" ]
“Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot.”	J.A. Saare,	[ "dicta", "funny", "humor" ]
“She stopped at the desk and held up a can for his view. "This looks like an ordinary hairspray can, right?""Of course." he said though he had no idea what hairspray was.”	Gena Showalter,	[ "funny" ]
“If it winds up earlier, you should have a movie picked out. This is assuming she isn’t sending you the ‘let’s go back to my place’ signals. In that case—”“Don’t go there, Bob. Let’s just not go there.”	Nora Roberts,	[ "dates", "friendships", "funny", "humor" ]
“He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.”	Ilona Andrews,	[ "bayou-moon", "cerise", "funny", "hair", "ilona-andrews", "the-edge", "william" ]
“..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different”	Michael Buckley,	[ "dodgeball", "funny", "michael-buckley" ]
“Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on the slick ground reverberated in his gut. He wanted to turn around and tell her to shut the hell up.She sounded as though she was having sex.Good sex.”	Cherry Adair,	[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]
“When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.”	Steven Wright	[ "funny", "humor" ]
“Popatrz jeno. Kościół, karczma, bordel, a w środku między nimi kupa gówna. Oto parabola ludzkiego żywota.”	Andrzej Sapkowski,	[ "funny", "medieval", "polish", "shit" ]
“You are the night.""I am the night," I repeated."You are the night."I cocked my head, sending him a questioning look. "I am the night?""Jane!""Why is it that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word?”	Molly Harper,	[ "funny", "gabriel", "jane-jameson", "molly-harper", "nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs" ]
“I can't see anything" he said in a muffled voice, hand over his eyes. "I'm blind.”	L.J. Smith,	[ "funny", "hilarious" ]

“Anna shuddered. "Orange is not the colour of seduction, Christopher. Orange is the colour of despair, and pumpkins.”

Cassandra Clare,

[ "annalightwood", "fashion", "funny", "humor", "orange", "pumpkin", "pumpkins" ]

“Hey,” Shayne said through the door. “You going to stay in there all night, because we’re getting tired of trying to eavesdrop from out here. Can’t hear a damn thing.”

Jill Shalvis,

[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]

“I'm talking about doing something good for mankind. Imagine how awesome everyone would feel if they knew all that holy stuff was real." -Gregori"Stuff? Four years of giving sermons, and that what I get back? Holy stuff?”

Kerrelyn Sparks,

[ "funny" ]

“Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.”

Chuck Palahniuk,

[ "funny", "hilarious", "witty" ]

“Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.”

Russell Brand,

[ "church", "comedy", "funny", "humor", "robots" ]

“That's so cute! They have birdbaths in the church!”

Hilary Duff,

[ "elixir", "funny", "hilary-duff" ]

“She didn’t sound overjoyed. She didn’t sound even slightly joyed.”

Sarah Mayberry,

[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-comedy" ]

“I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.”

Bauvard,

[ "funny", "humor", "writing" ]

“Put me down, I’m too heavy.”“You’re small enough to fit in my pocket.”

Sarah Mayberry,

[ "contemporary-romance", "funny", "humour", "romance" ]

“Shut. Up," June squealed. "You have a date with that guy?" She giggled and covered her mouth. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Tell me everything.""I can't do both," I pointed out.”

Robin Benway,

[ "funny" ]

“Only then did I see. Something was amiss with Patrick's snap-on one piece, or "onesie" as we manly dads like to call it. His chubby thighs, I now realized, were squeezed into the armholes, which were so tight they must have been cutting off his circulation. The collared neck hung between his legs like an udder. Up top, Patrick's head stuck out through the unsnapped crotch, and his arms were lost somewhere in the billowing pant legs. It was quite a look.”

John Grogan,

[ "funny", "john-grogan" ]

“If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?”

Steven Wright

[ "funny", "humor" ]

“Divorce runs high these days, but I’m an exception to the norm. I got divorced when marriage was still popular.”

Bauvard,

[ "funny", "humor", "marriage" ]

“What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

Stephen King,

[ "dark-tower-series", "funny", "humourous" ]

“He's wearing flannel!" Alan yelped. "He's shoving his straight in my face!”

K.D. Sarge,

[ "funny", "gay", "no-flannel" ]

“Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages.”

Bauvard,

[ "funny", "humor", "love" ]

“The rage that had expolded inside me diffused. I didn't know where it had come from. I had a short temper and often acted impulsively,but this had been intense and ugly even for me. Weird.”

Richelle Mead,

[ "funny" ]

“People keep asking "Jacob or Edward?" when the really important question is "Diamond Dave or Sammy?”

Ysabeau S. Wilce

[ "funny", "twilight", "van-halen" ]

“At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue’s opinion, was far more hellish than anything they’d discussed to this point.”

Maggie Stiefvater,

[ "blue-sargent", "funny", "richard-gansey-iii" ]

“Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).”

John D. Rhodes

[ "daft", "dance", "funny", "humor", "rain", "shoes", "silly" ]

“Travis: The Aphrodite kids were ripping each other’s clothes and throwing lipstick and jewellery. It was like a rabid herd of wild Bratz.”

Rick Riordan,

[ "funny", "pranks", "travis-barker" ]

“It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald,

[ "20s", "dating", "fitzgerald", "flapper", "funny", "gatsby", "girls", "head-and-shoulders", "humor", "humorous", "kissing", "kissing-quotes", "lol", "love", "romance", "zelda" ]

“We need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in.”

Bauvard,

[ "deforestation", "funny", "humor", "trees" ]

“Why...do you find this...distracting?”

Suzanne Collins,

[ "action", "finnick-odair", "funny", "mockingjay", "the-hunger-games" ]

“Nancy was so thrilled, I thought she was going to kiss me—and I thought I was actually going to have to hit a chick.”

Jennifer L. Armentrout,

[ "funny", "humor" ]

“He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur.“I’m definitely thinking something with more body parts,” I said. “Like a head.”He gave a snort of a laugh. “It’s probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too.”

Kelley Armstrong,

[ "funny" ]

“I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral.”

John Green,

[ "augustus-waters", "funeral", "funny" ]

“Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.”

Criss Jami,

[ "dishonesty", "funny", "funny-but-true", "honesty", "humor", "silence", "tolerance", "truth", "virtue", "virtue-signalling" ]

“The stars have a strong effect on our daily shopping lives. Hollywood is astrology’s only credible conspiracy.”

Bauvard,

[ "astrology", "celebrities", "funny", "humor" ]

“We need to revitalize the American spirit. People are always asking ‘What would the founding fathers do,’ but I have yet to witness a single séance.”

Bauvard,

[ "funny", "humor", "patriotism" ]

“Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.”

Darynda Jones,

[ "funny", "humour", "zombies" ]

“Hermits have no peer pressure.”

Steven Wright

[ "funny", "humor" ]

“Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.”

Darynda Jones

[ "funny", "humor", "snarky", "witty" ]

“I'd sold my soul to get out of detention.”

Jennifer Lynn Barnes,

[ "funny", "toby", "unbelievable" ]

“His hand cups the back of my neck, and before I can think, he dips down and our mouths meet. For a split second I worry that he thinks he's kissing Courtney. But that instant the warmth of his soft lips spreads into mine, all thoughts dissolve. Pure feeling is all I have left. Little electric sparks sip through my bloodstream, making sure every nerve in my body is focused on his amazing mouth.”

Tera Lynn Childs,

[ "funny", "humor", "kissing" ]

“What's a slut?" I ask him."A girl who puts out too easily.""Puts out what?" I imagine Greer putting out dinner and don't understand what Iwan wouldn't like about that."Puts out, you know..." His face, already beet red from our run, turns a darker scarlet. "Sex."I wonder where Greer puts the sex out.”

Rachel Cohn,

[ "beta", "funny", "ya" ]

“I don't have a master. I'm not sure if I have an equal.”

Laurell K. Hamilton,

[ "defiant", "funny" ]

“My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.”

Molly Harper,

[ "funny", "grandpa", "jane-jameson", "molly-harper", "nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs", "remarried" ]

“Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing research on his wife.”

Pawan Mishra,

[ "funny", "humor", "husband", "marriage", "marriage-advice", "marriage-humor", "marriage-issues", "relationship", "wife" ]

“Don’t believe what you hear about those penguins. A species of lazy waddlers. Their extinction is immanent.”

Benson Bruno,

[ "extinction", "funny", "penguins" ]

“Do you remember our first kiss? I do. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the feel of that bicuspid against my tongue. It had such a distinctive feel, neither cuspid nor molar…but I’m not sure it knew that – that was what endeared it to me so. It was like the blunted tusk of a wild boar.”

Benson Bruno,

[ "first-kiss", "funny", "teeth" ]

“Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses.”

Bauvard,

[ "funny", "humor", "trees" ]

“I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress" said Jem. "And for what it's worth, I don't think Will could fight in that dress either.""Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride.”

Cassandra Clare,

[ "clockwork-princess", "funny", "jem-carstairs", "will-herondale" ]

“Dear sirs, The cold war isn’t over. When national borders fail, the epidermis is the last line of defense. We are counting on you.Sincerely,Patriot”

Benson Bruno,

[ "cold-war", "funny", "patriotism", "sunscreen" ]

“No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cute enough to kiss you.”

Frank Ocean

[ "bogus", "funny", "hip-hop", "horomones", "in-the-moment", "life-and-living", "r-and-b" ]

“She’s a lunatic,” says Conrad.“Absolutely insane,” says Guntram.“Either completely fearless or utterly stupid,” says Conrad.“She’s going to fit right in,” says Guntram.”

Emily Lloyd-Jones,

[ "criminals", "funny", "sci-fi", "ya-lit" ]

“While we’re at it, why don’t we add a third emotion to this list: lust. You are probably unaware that Linnaeus lumped the tomato into the same genus as the potato, a food with a reputation for its widespread availability and easy satisfaction of oral needs.”

Benson Bruno,

[ "funny", "lust", "potatoes", "tomatoes" ]

“Divination is turning out to be much more trouble than I could have foreseen, never having studied the subject myself.”

J.K. Rowling,

[ "divination", "funny" ]

“I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream.”

Amy Summers,

[ "dreaming", "dreams", "funny", "humor", "life", "relationships", "sleep", "sleeping" ]

“You know, I don’t get why Fred and George only got three O.W.L.s each,” said Harry, watching as Fred, George, and Lee collected gold from the eager crowd. “They really know their stuff. . . .”“Oh, they only know flashy stuff that’s no real use to anyone,” said Hermione disparagingly.“No real use?” said Ron in a strained voice. “Hermione, they’ve got about twenty-six Galleons already. . . .”

J.K. Rowling,

[ "fred-weasley", "funny", "george-weasley", "useless-talents" ]

“What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away.”

Anne Carson,

[ "funny", "humor" ]

“I know because I read. Might I suggest you try it?”

Libba Bray,

[ "funny", "reading" ]

“Eve talking to someone on her computer and having trouble with the language translator....."I have two like crimes. Your data and your input on Leclerk would be very helpful"Marie pursed her lips and humor danced in her eyes."It says you would like to have sex with me. I don't think that is correct""Oh, for Christ sake" Eve slammed a fist against the machine.....”

J.D. Robb,

[ "funny" ]

“Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.”

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

[ "adage", "adages", "afraid", "africa", "african", "aphorism", "aphorisms", "avoid", "axiom", "axioms", "deep", "depress", "depressed", "depressing", "depression", "dictum", "dictums", "epigram", "epigrams", "fear", "fearful", "funny", "gnome", "gnomes", "humor", "humorous", "humour", "impression", "in-public", "insightful", "made-me-think", "make-you-think", "maxim", "maxims", "philosopher", "philosophy", "private", "profound", "proverb", "proverbs", "provoke-thought", "public", "quotation", "quotations", "quote", "quote-of-the-day", "quotes", "satire", "satirical", "satirist", "satirists", "saying", "sayings", "seem", "south-africa", "south-african", "stoic", "stoicism", "stoics", "suicidal", "suicide", "think", "thinker", "thinkers", "thinking", "thought-provoking", "thoughtful" ]

“I can pay you."He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure there are services for that.Maybe you can try calling 1-800-HOOKERS or something?""You know the number well?”

Kasie West,

[ "banter", "funny", "love" ]

“The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and the extremely handy and versatile The However Long It Takes Me to Pick Up This Food Rule.”

Neil Pasricha,

[ "5-second-rule", "dirty", "food", "funny", "germs" ]

“My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.”

Tina Fey,

[ "funny", "impolite", "kids", "mcdonalds", "mother" ]

“The Dimwit's Guide to the Female Mind might assist your efforts in understanding human females. But it must be pointed out that this subject can be a dangerous adventure and should be undertaken with extreme caution. After all, human males have been trying to understand their females for generations, and most of the time they come away from these encounters looking like someone stuck their tails into an electric socket.”

Anne Bishop,

[ "advice", "amusing", "baffled", "book", "caution", "confuse", "confusion", "dangerous", "female", "funny", "guide", "human", "humor", "laugh", "learn", "mars", "mind", "truth", "understand", "understanding", "venus" ]

“Colin : “Perhaps now is the time to tell you that I have a weakness for agreeable women.”Sugar Beth : “Well, that sure does leave me out.”Colin : “Exactly. With agreeable women, I’m unendingly considerate. Gallant even.”Sugar Beth : “But with tarts like me, the gloves are off, is that it?”Colin : “I wouldn’t exactly call you a tart. But then, I tend to be broad-minded.”She suppressed the urge to dump her porridge in his lap.”

Susan Elizabeth Phillips,

[ "funny", "susan-elizabeth-phillips" ]

“Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first”

S.A. Bodeen,

[ "funny", "s-a-bodeen", "the-compound", "wit" ]

“My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.”

Chelsea Handler,

[ "funny", "humor" ]

“Wait,” he said, pulling me to a stop when I tried to march off toward my destiny. “Is there something you want to tell me?” I looked at him, trying to think of anything I’d done recently that I needed to admit to. When nothing came to mind other than the usual, I shook my head. “Not really. Why?” He reached out and touched my leather jacket. “Is that a bullet hole?” Freaking great.”

Jaye Wells,

[ "funny" ]

“A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.”

Erma Bombeck

[ "friendship", "funny" ]

“A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of thought in making you.”

Khaled Hosseini

[ "female", "funny", "humor", "male" ]

“By the light," he said, when he had mastered himself. "I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars.”

Alison Croggon,

[ "funny", "humor", "sarcastic" ]

“Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.”

Chelsea Handler,

[ "funny", "humor", "humorous" ]

“Listen, Harr,y can I have a go on it? Can I?""I don't think anyone should ride that broom just yet!" said Hermoine shrilly.Harry and Ron looked at her."What d'you think Harry's going to do with it - sweep the floor?" said Ron.”

J.K. Rowling,

[ "broomstick", "firebolt", "funny", "harry-potter", "hermoine", "humor", "ron" ]

“She turns to us, acts surprised to see us, then does the bit with the back of the hand to the forehead. "You're lost!" "You're angry!" "You're in the wrong school!" "You're in the wrong country!" "You're on the wrong planet!”

Laurie Halse Anderson,

[ "funny", "school", "spanish-class" ]

“Matt would stare at Andrew for 10 minutes. It's depressing that people are different. Everyone should be one person, who should then kill itself in hand-to-hand combat.”

Tao Lin

[ "funny" ]

“I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.”

Victor Borge

[ "borge", "funny", "humor", "humorous", "requests", "victor", "victor-borge" ]

“Do you ever take a holiday? Like, do any of you just wake up and think ‘Today feels like a pyjama day.’? or is it always, ‘Today is a good day for murdering and stalking.’?”

Catherine Doyle,

[ "funny", "humor", "sophie-gracewell" ]

“Dammit Bard, you're going to set the cat on fire.”

V.E. Schwab,

[ "alucard-emery", "cat", "delilah-bard", "funny", "humor", "magic" ]

“Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started.”

William Safire

[ "funny" ]

“[Clover] secretly hitched a ride with a nice German couple and their new baby...Clover appeared to the baby, so as to be a delightful, soothing surprise. Well, the child did like Clover. In fact, she held him and cooed. When the parents turned around to look at her and saw their child holding a furry, living creature, they needlessly panicked.”

Obert Skye,

[ "clover", "food", "funny", "geth", "hungry", "winter" ]

“He’d done it like he did everything else—with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her.”

Kaylea Cross,

[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]

“Naturally the villagers blamed bears. No one had ever seen a bear in Gavaldon, but this made them more determined to find one. Four years later, when two more children vanished, the villagers admitted they should have been more specific and declared black bears the culprit, bears so black they blended with the night. But when children continued to disappear every four years, the village shifted their attention to burrowing bears, then phantom bears, then bears in disguise. . . Until it became clear it wasn't it wasn't bears at all.”

Soman Chainani,

[ "bears", "funny" ]

“He should probably make love to her.”

Tara Janzen,

[ "contemporary-romance", "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]

“Misery, thy name is Mudslide”

Molly Harper,

[ "funny", "humour", "paranormal-romance" ]

“Sorry, Bex," Jason said "You don't have the recognizable facial characteristics - such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes - that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here...well, just look at her." "Atleast I can blow-dry my hair straight," I pointed out. "Which is more than what I can say for your nose, Hawkface.”

Meg Cabot

[ "be", "cabot", "funny", "how", "mastermind", "meg", "nickname", "popular", "to", "witty" ]

“A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.”

H.L. Mencken

[ "black-cat", "blind", "cat", "funny", "humor", "joke", "lie", "lies", "looking", "man", "metaphysics", "misattributed-h-l-mencken", "philosopher", "philosophy", "religion", "search", "theologian", "theology", "untruth", "untruthful", "wishful-thinking" ]

“Hey, Ethan.""Yeah?""Remember the Twinkie on the bus? The one I gave you in second grade, the day we met?""The one you found on the floor and gave me without telling me? Nice."He grinned and shot the ball. "It never really fell on the floor. I made that part up.”

Kami Garcia,

[ "confession", "ethan-wate", "friendship", "funny", "sharing", "twinkie" ]

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him participate in synchronized diving.”

Cuthbert Soup,

[ "diving", "funny", "horses", "water" ]

“Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won’t sparkle in the sunshine, he’ll just marry you.”

Nick Shamhart

[ "funny", "humor", "humorous" ]

“It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”

Sean Covey,

[ "admitting-faults", "children", "funny", "parents" ]

“Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They . . . they talk!''Talk?' He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. 'We talk all the time, Raine. I've never had such talkative sex.''That's just it!' She wiggled, flailed, but couldn't budge him. 'Two minutes alone with you, and I'm flat on my back. Every single time!'A slow, knowing grin spread over his face. 'Is this your way of telling me you want to be on top?”

Shannon McKenna,

[ "funny", "humor", "relationships", "sex" ]

“I love the sound of it," Trina whispers, as if speaking too loudly might interrupt the drumming patter of the rain outside. "It makes me want to sleep. Snuggle my head right up in your armpit and snore for three days.""My armpit?" Mark repeats. "Good thing we all showered up in the storm this morning. My pits smell like roses. Go ahead and get comfy.”

James Dashner,

[ "cute", "funny", "sarcastic" ]

“... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?”

Christopher Moore,

[ "afterword", "funny", "martial-arts" ]

“Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward”

J.R. Ward,

[ "funny", "tips", "writing" ]

“If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.”

Kinky Friedman

[ "funny", "humorous", "inspirational", "life" ]

“Okay, first of all, I didn’t sleep with you to make amends. I slept with you because I wanted to.”He still didn’t say anything, and she pointed at him again. “And you know what? It was your own damn fault. It was those jeans you wear, and the tool belt. It was the size of your hammer!”

Jill Shalvis,

[ "alpha", "erotica", "erotica-romance", "funny", "romance", "romance-nove", "sexy" ]

“Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot.”

J.A. Saare,

[ "dicta", "funny", "humor" ]

“She stopped at the desk and held up a can for his view. "This looks like an ordinary hairspray can, right?""Of course." he said though he had no idea what hairspray was.”

Gena Showalter,

[ "funny" ]

“If it winds up earlier, you should have a movie picked out. This is assuming she isn’t sending you the ‘let’s go back to my place’ signals. In that case—”“Don’t go there, Bob. Let’s just not go there.”

Nora Roberts,

[ "dates", "friendships", "funny", "humor" ]

“He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.”

Ilona Andrews,

[ "bayou-moon", "cerise", "funny", "hair", "ilona-andrews", "the-edge", "william" ]

“..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different”

Michael Buckley,

[ "dodgeball", "funny", "michael-buckley" ]

“Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on the slick ground reverberated in his gut. He wanted to turn around and tell her to shut the hell up.She sounded as though she was having sex.Good sex.”

Cherry Adair,

[ "funny", "humour", "romance", "romantic-suspense" ]

“When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.”

Steven Wright

[ "funny", "humor" ]

“Popatrz jeno. Kościół, karczma, bordel, a w środku między nimi kupa gówna. Oto parabola ludzkiego żywota.”

Andrzej Sapkowski,

[ "funny", "medieval", "polish", "shit" ]

“You are the night.""I am the night," I repeated."You are the night."I cocked my head, sending him a questioning look. "I am the night?""Jane!""Why is it that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word?”

Molly Harper,

[ "funny", "gabriel", "jane-jameson", "molly-harper", "nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs" ]

“I can't see anything" he said in a muffled voice, hand over his eyes. "I'm blind.”

L.J. Smith,

[ "funny", "hilarious" ]