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New Discord: Squidward's House A Discord I made for me and some friends. There are plenty of channels. Whether it's just to talk, to send memes, to do homework, to play music, or to game. Lemme know if you're interested, at this moment it's only my friends and the bot but if we gather up people it can grow to something nice. | [] | [
"New Discord: Squidward's House A Discord I made for me and some friends.There are plenty of channels.Whether it's just to talk, to send memes, to do homework, to play music, or to game.Lemme know if you're interested, at this moment it's only my friends and the botbut if we gather up people it can grow to something nice."
] | 90 | Nueva discografía: la casa de Squidward Una discografía que hice para mí y para algunos amigos.Hay muchos canales.Ya sea para hablar, enviar memes, hacer deberes, tocar música o jugar.Dime si estás interesado, en este momento solo son mis amigos y el bot, pero si reunimos gente puede crecer a algo agradable. |
Day 8 of random facts until I ask out my crush Did you know, the real life crystal lake has a life sized Jason Vorhees statue? It sits at the bottom the lake and was implemented in may of 2018. | [] | [
"Day 8 of random facts until I ask out my crush Did you know, the real life crystal lake has a life sized Jason Vorhees statue?It sits at the bottom the lake and was implemented in may of 2018."
] | 47 | Día 8 de hechos aleatorios hasta que pregunto mi enamoramiento ¿Sabías que el lago de cristal de la vida real tiene una estatua de tamaño real de Jason Vorhees?Se sienta en el fondo del lago y fue implementado en mayo de 2018. |
Friend has been suicidal, not sure what to doHi all, I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this but I'm at a loss on what to do. My friend from high school has been showing signs of attempted suicide. We don't talk as much ever since I moved away for college but her social media posts as well as someone she is close to messaged me their concern at well. I've tried texting her but she has been ignoring my messages and it's gotten to the point where we're really afraid she's going to do it. She currently lives with her father but I haven't been able to get in contact with him. I'm not sure what else to do.
TL;DR Friend from high school has been suicidal lately and is ignoring messages and refusing help from people. What can I do to help? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Friend has been suicidal, not sure what to doHi all, I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this but I'm at a loss on what to do.My friend from high school has been showing signs of attempted suicide.We don't talk as much ever since I moved away for college but her social media posts as well as someone she is close to messaged me their concern at well.I've tried texting herbut she has been ignoring my messages and it's gotten to the point where we're really afraid she's going to do it.She currently lives with her fatherbut I haven't been able to get in contact with him.I'm not sure what else to do.TL;DR Friend from high school has been suicidal lately and is ignoring messages and refusing help from people.What can I do to help?"
] | 181 | Amigo ha sido suicida, no estoy seguro de qué hacerHola a todos, no estoy seguro de si este es el foro adecuado para publicar esto, pero estoy en una pérdida en lo que hacer.Mi amiga de la escuela secundaria ha estado mostrando signos de intento de suicidio.No hablamos tanto desde que me mudé para la universidad, pero sus publicaciones en las redes sociales, así como alguien que está cerca de me mensaje su preocupación a bien.He tratado de enviarle mensajes de texto, pero ella ha estado ignorando mis mensajes y ha llegado al punto en el que realmente tenemos miedo de que vaya a hacerlo.Ella vive actualmente con su padre, pero no he sido capaz de ponerme en contacto con él.No estoy seguro de qué más hacer.TL; DR Amigo de la escuela secundaria ha estado suicida últimamente y está ignorando mensajes y rechazando la ayuda de la gente.¿Qué puedo hacer para ayudar? |
What is water even made out of Water is so weird like what the hell is this thing. | [] | [
"What is water even made out of Water is so weird like what the hell is this thing."
] | 19 | Lo que es agua incluso hecha de agua es tan raro como qué demonios es esta cosa. |
so apparently i got the wrong vaccine lmao my neighbor works with the elderly and was given 50 vaccine spots to be given out and since both of my parents are susceptible i qualified to get the vaccine, the place i went to get it was supposed to be giving out fyzer which has been allowed to be given to people 16-18+ i think but instead they gave me maderna (idk if i spelled either of these correctly but who cares) which has not been licensed to be given to 16 year olds, so ya i guess im apart of the tests now? | [] | [
"so apparently i got the wrong vaccine lmao my neighbor works with the elderly and was given 50 vaccine spots to be given out and since both of my parents are susceptible i qualified to get the vaccine, the place i went to get it was supposed to be giving out fyzer which has been allowed to be given to people 16-18+ i thinkbut instead they gave me maderna (idk if i spelled either of these correctly but who cares) which has not been licensed to be given to 16 year olds,so yai guess im apart of the tests now?"
] | 118 | Así que al parecer me equivoqué de vacuna lmmao mi vecino trabaja con los ancianos y se le dio 50 puntos de vacuna para ser dados y ya que ambos de mis padres son susceptibles I calificado para conseguir la vacuna, el lugar que fui a conseguir se suponía que estaba dando fyzer que se ha permitido dar a la gente 16-18+ creo pero en su lugar me dieron maderna (idk si he deletreado cualquiera de estos correctamente pero a quién le importa) que no ha sido licenciado para ser dado a los 16 años de edad, así que yai supongo im aparte de las pruebas ahora? |
I'm a misogynist Or just a misanthrope?
I'm so tired of every fucking girl I meet
I know there are good ones out there, but damn are they rare | [] | [
"I'm a misogynist Or just a misanthrope?I'm so tired of every fucking girl I meet\nI know there are good ones out there, but damn are they rare"
] | 41 | Soy un misógino o sólo un misántropo?Estoy tan cansado de cada puta chica que conozco Sé que hay buenas por ahí, pero maldita sea son raros |
Advice for school kids Since I am the type to yell out wrong answer in Kahoot, a lot of people decides to ignore me completely. So this time, I yell out the right answer to make them contemplate themselves. | [] | [
"Advice for school kids Since I am the type to yell out wrong answer in Kahoot, a lot of people decides to ignore me completely.So this time, I yell out the right answer to make them contemplate themselves."
] | 45 | Consejos para los niños de la escuela Ya que soy del tipo que grita una respuesta equivocada en Kahoot, mucha gente decide ignorarme completamente.Así que esta vez, grito la respuesta correcta para que se contemplen. |
Check out this new horror short I made https://youtu.be/S50McngM1ws it took me a while to make so hope you enjoy it | [] | [
"Check out this new horror short I made https://youtu.be/S50McngM1ws it took me a while to make so hope you enjoy it"
] | 36 | Mira este nuevo corto de horror que hice https://youtu.be/S50McngM1ws me llevó un tiempo hacer así que espero que lo disfrutes |
I just played Bedwars I just played bedwars with total strangers over Discord and my legs were shivering all the time and I didn't say a word. It wasn't really fun cuz I don't do these things normally. Guess I'm just not social enough to be a gamer | [] | [
"I just played Bedwars I just played bedwars with total strangers over Discord and my legs were shivering all the timeand I didn't say a word.It wasn't really fun cuz I don't do these things normally.Guess I'm just not social enough to be a gamer"
] | 69 | Acabo de jugar Bedwars Acabo de jugar Bedwars con extraños totales sobre Discord y mis piernas estaban temblando todo el tiempo y no dije una palabra.No era muy divertido porque no hago estas cosas normalmente.Supongo que no soy lo suficientemente social como para ser un jugador |
I believe in rebirth... Yes I do because various people die at young age so what about their deeds where will it get completed?. | [] | [
"I believe in rebirth...Yes I do because various people die at young ageso what about their deeds where will it get completed?."
] | 27 | Yo creo en el renacimiento...Sí, lo hago porque varias personas mueren a temprana edad.¿Y qué hay de sus acciones donde se completará?. |
I hate my wife She is stinky poopoo I will not divorce | [] | [
"I hate my wifeShe is stinky poopoo I will not divorce"
] | 15 | Odio a mi esposa. Es una mierda apestosa. No me divorciaré. |
people love talking when they’re talking about something they love talking about people love talking when they’re talking about something they love talking about | [] | [
"people love talking when they’re talking about something they love talking about people love talking when they’re talking about something they love talking about"
] | 28 | a la gente le encanta hablar cuando están hablando de algo que les encanta hablar de la gente le encanta hablar cuando están hablando de algo de lo que les encanta hablar |
she either likes me or desperately wants me to know that she doesn’t or i’m probably overthinking it, i dunno | [] | [
"she either likes me or desperately wants me to know that she doesn’t or i’m probably overthinking it, i dunno"
] | 30 | o le gusto o desesperadamente quiere que sepa que no lo hace o probablemente lo estoy pensando demasiado, no sé |
I can't live with this thought, I feel sick. During last summer, I developed a sense of high anxiety around being in the company of young people/babies that I'd never had prior. This was a result of feeling intense distress over finding out that an ex teacher was a pedophile. I came to realize in March this year through research that this is called POCD, which provided me with a lot of relief.
In the late evening of Monday, 23rd September 2019 after having moved back into university halls of residence for my second year a week prior, I basically watched pornography for around about 2-4 hours intermittently when my depression was as its worst height. I'd already experienced false memories by this point.
Anyway, for that whole afternoon and night, I would go from grinding/humping against the bed (an awkward way of doing it that I developed when I was in my early teens) while watching Porn Hub on my phone, to then sitting up and watching random videos on YouTube.
The second to last video I watched was a video of Kurt Cobain and his 2 year old daughter, that appeared on the homepage after going back from Porn Hub and sitting up in bed again. At this point, I remember thinking that if I were to watch this video, I shouldn't watch another video afterwards, purely ''because this YouTube video had a baby in it'' - even though I knew deep down that the two videos were entirely separated by tabs on my phone, not to mention obviously by content. Nevertheless, I watched the interview video, scrolled through the comments and paused at a specific point then went back to Porn Hub, and only then did I kneel down to grind the duvet again, but with a video loaded.
Finally, I remember sitting up again and going back to the YouTube homepage and the first video shown was a slideshow of Cobain's daughter through the years and I remember feeling so much guilt for having watched the prior porn. The reason for this is that - as best as I can describe - seeing her (as a baby, the pinnacle of innocence) exemplified the essential humanity that we all have, including the adult performers. As a result, I felt heavy guilt (that I now realize to be misplaced) for being what I considered to be ''anti-feminist'', and an ''evil person''.
Perhaps I overthink the morality of things, I don't know.
My brain at the time immediately started to go into overload and overlap what would otherwise be two separate actions of watching YouTube then lewd stuff. I remember going to the sink afterwards, and dry-vomiting.
With regards to the actual first-person recollection of possibly staring at the Cobain video, I have no explicit sensory memory of this. The 'image' in my head is grainy at best. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself were this the opposite.
After leaving the bathroom and panicking a lot, I walked through it step-by-step, and eventually felt comfortable enough that I hadn’t done anything wrong and so I left it. This, as a general worry didn't reappear again till May 2020, with the rest of 2019 being spent going from day-to-day worries and false memories. I even felt happy and content on New Year's Day this year.
Surely, if I'd done this horrible thing, I wouldn't have been able to feel anything happy ever again?
At first, I wondered if I did do it, and I just repressed it, or I didn’t and actually it’s just my overactive imagination mixed with my anxiety. I know that in my heart I didn’t do anything wrong, as I had listened to Nirvana plenty of times afterwards, and didn’t feel pangs of guilt or shame that I know I would’ve if I’d done anything wrong.
Things have gotten better mildly. My first appointment with an OCD therapist is soon. I'm currently on the fourth day of taking a beta-blocker to regulate my heart-rate and blood pressure that helps ward off the panic attacks I have about it. I'm trying to sleep better, but sometimes the image creeps in too much. I'm due to get a new set of the anti-depressant mirtazipine soon, too.
But even with that, it all feels like too much right now and I'm more suicidal than ever about this. I don't want to die over an image in my head, but is this a belated guilty conscience? I feel sick and can't think or sleep. I have moments of 'you know you're being silly, start living again', but then it hits my head over and and I end up in bed depressed for another week.
I worry that I might, out of a morbid curiosity, have done it. I remember faintly thinking how awful it would be to do it, and then - as far as I know - not doing it. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I can't live with this thought, I feel sick.During last summer, I developed a sense of high anxiety around being in the company of young people/babies that I'd never had prior.This was a result of feeling intense distress over finding out that an ex teacher was a pedophile.I came to realize in March this year through research that this is called POCD, which provided me with a lot of relief.In the late evening of Monday, 23rd September 2019 after having moved back into university halls of residence for my second year a week prior, I basically watched pornography for around about 2-4 hours intermittently when my depression was as its worst height.I'd already experienced false memories by this point.Anyway, for that whole afternoon and night, I would go from grinding/humping against the bed (an awkward way of doing it that I developed when I was in my early teens) while watching Porn Hub on my phone, to then sitting up and watching random videos on YouTube.The second to last video I watched was a video of Kurt Cobain and his 2 year old daughter, that appeared on the homepage after going back from Porn Hub and sitting up in bed again.",
"At this point, I remember thinking that if I were to watch this video, I shouldn't watch another video afterwards, purely ''because this YouTube video had a baby in it'' - even though I knew deep down that the two videos were entirely separated by tabs on my phone, not to mention obviously by content.Nevertheless, I watched the interview video, scrolled through the comments and paused at a specific point then went back to Porn Hub, and only then did I kneel down to grind the duvet again, but with a video loaded.Finally, I remember sitting up again and going back to the YouTube homepage and the first video shown was a slideshow of Cobain's daughter through the years and I remember feeling so much guilt for having watched the prior porn.The reason for this is that - as best as I can describe - seeing her (as a baby, the pinnacle of innocence) exemplified the essential humanity that we all have, including the adult performers.As a result, I felt heavy guilt (that I now realize to be misplaced) for being what I considered to be ''anti-feminist'', and an ''evil person''.Perhaps I overthink the morality of things, I don't know.",
"My brain at the time immediately started to go into overload and overlap what would otherwise be two separate actions of watching YouTube then lewd stuff.I remember going to the sink afterwards, and dry-vomiting.With regards to the actual first-person recollection of possibly staring at the Cobain video, I have no explicit sensory memory of this.The 'image' in my head is grainy at best.I wouldn't have been able to live with myself were this the opposite.After leaving the bathroom and panicking a lot, I walked through it step-by-step, and eventually felt comfortable enough that I hadn’t done anything wrong and so I left it.This, as a general worry didn't reappear again till May 2020, with the rest of 2019 being spent going from day-to-day worries and false memories.I even felt happy and content on New Year's Day this year.Surely, if I'd done this horrible thing, I wouldn't have been able to feel anything happy ever again?\n\nAt first, I wondered if I did do it, and I just repressed it, or I didn’tand actually it’s just my overactive imagination mixed with my anxiety.",
"I know that in my heart I didn’t do anything wrong, as I had listened to Nirvana plenty of times afterwards, and didn’t feel pangs of guilt or shame that I know I would’ve if I’d done anything wrong.Things have gotten better mildly.My first appointment with an OCD therapist is soon.I'm currently on the fourth day of taking a beta-blocker to regulate my heart-rate and blood pressure that helps ward off the panic attacks I have about it.I'm trying to sleep better, but sometimes the image creeps in too much.I'm due to get a new set of the anti-depressant mirtazipine soon, too.But even with that, it all feels like too much right nowand I'm more suicidal than ever about this.I don't want to die over an image in my head, but is this a belated guilty conscience?I feel sick and can't think or sleep.I have moments of 'you know you're being silly, start living again', but then it hits my head over and and I end up in bed depressed for another week.I worry that I might, out of a morbid curiosity, have done it.I remember faintly thinking how awful it would be to do it, and then - as far as I know - not doing it."
] | 253 | No puedo vivir con este pensamiento, me siento enfermo.Durante el verano pasado, desarrollé una sensación de gran ansiedad por estar en compañía de jóvenes/bebés que nunca había tenido antes.Esto fue el resultado de sentir una intensa angustia por descubrir que un ex maestro era pedófilo.Me di cuenta en marzo de este año a través de una investigación que se llama POCD, lo que me proporcionó mucho alivio.A finales de la tarde del lunes 23 de septiembre de 2019, después de haber vuelto a los salones de residencia de la universidad por mi segundo año una semana antes, básicamente vi pornografía durante unas 2-4 horas de forma intermitente cuando mi depresión era su peor altura.Ya había experimentado recuerdos falsos por este punto.De todos modos, durante toda la tarde y la noche, pasaba de triturar/humpear contra la cama (una forma incómoda de hacerlo que desarrollé cuando estaba en mis primeros años de adolescencia) mientras veía Porn Hub en mi teléfono, para luego ver vídeos aleatorios en YouTube.El segundo vídeo que vi fue un video de Kurt Cobain y su hija de 2 años, que apareció en la página web después de volver a sentarse en la cama desde Hubn. |
Not good enoughDepressed for like 10 years.
School has never worked for me, the only job I ever got was thanks to my dad, but I had to leave it.
Place is stagnant as fuck, staying here would make it all worse but I have nowhere to go.
I hate myself. I hate everyone else, too.
I have no future, by living I'm just postponing my own death anyway. There's nothing in between. No one cares.
| [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Not good enoughDepressed for like 10 years.School has never worked for me, the only job I ever got was thanks to my dad, but I had to leave it.Place is stagnant as fuck, staying here would make it all worsebut I have nowhere to go.I hate myself.I hate everyone else, too.I have no future, by living I'm just postponing my own death anyway.There's nothing in between.No one cares."
] | 100 | No lo suficientemente buenoDeprimido desde hace como 10 años.La escuela nunca ha trabajado para mí, el único trabajo que he tenido fue gracias a mi padre, pero tuve que dejarlo.El lugar está estancado como la mierda, quedarme aquí lo haría todo peor pero no tengo a dónde ir.Me odio a mí mismo.También odio a todos los demás.No tengo futuro, al vivir solo pospongo mi propia muerte de todos modos.No hay nada en el medio.A nadie le importa. |
I want to cry, god fucking damnit I want to cry. Growing up being ridiculed for crying, being bullied for it, I've stopped. I don't know exactly when it stopped, but I just didn't cry anymore.
Maybe it's because I don't have an outlet to confide in. Maybe I just need someone to talk to. But guess what? I can't. I can't talk about my problems to someone I know. What if they think I'm pathetic? What if they think I'm weird? What if they think I'm weak? I don't want to be seen as such, so I've refrained. But it's been so fucking long since I've cried my heart out. My heart has cracked, but nothing is escaping. I constantly feel sad, on the verge of a breakdown. But just when I think it's finally going to happen, I'm finally going to release my pent up stress and feelings, I stop myself.
I haven't been able to go on and cry, get emotional, get real. I'm so fucking done with this. I don't trust anyone enough to talk to them. I have people I know I can trust, but for some reason I don't trust them. Maybe it's because I know that at any moment they can betray me. Reveal all of my problems to someone I don't even know.
Point is, crying is important. If you ever start crying, cry your fucking heart out. Trust me, you'll need it. | [] | [
"I want to cry, god fucking damnit I want to cry.Growing up being ridiculed for crying, being bullied for it, I've stopped.I don't know exactly when it stopped, but I just didn't cry anymore.Maybe it's because I don't have an outlet to confide in.Maybe I just need someone to talk to.But guess what?I can't.I can't talk about my problems to someone I know.What if they think I'm pathetic?What if they think I'm weird?What if they think I'm weak?I don't want to be seen as such, so I've refrained.But it's been so fucking long since I've cried my heart out.My heart has cracked, but nothing is escaping.I constantly feel sad, on the verge of a breakdown.But just when I think it's finally going to happen, I'm finally going to release my pent up stress and feelings, I stop myself.I haven't been able to go on and cry, get emotional, get real.I'm so fucking done with this.I don't trust anyone enough to talk to them.I have people I know I can trust, but for some reason I don't trust them.Maybe it's because I know that at any moment they can betray me.Reveal all of my problems to someone I don't even know.Point is, crying is important.If you ever start crying, cry your fucking heart out.",
"Trust me, you'll need it."
] | 327 | Quiero llorar, maldita sea, quiero llorar.Crecer para ser ridiculizado por llorar, ser intimidado por ello, me he detenido.No sé exactamente cuándo se detuvo, pero simplemente no lloré más.Tal vez es porque no tengo una salida en la que confiar.Tal vez sólo necesito a alguien con quien hablar.Pero ¿adivinen qué?No puedo.No puedo hablar de mis problemas con alguien que conozco.¿Qué pasa si piensan que soy patético?¿Qué pasa si piensan que soy raro?¿Qué pasa si piensan que soy débil?No quiero que me vean como tal, así que me he abstenido.Pero ha pasado tanto tiempo desde que he llorado mi corazón.Mi corazón se ha roto, pero nada está escapando.Siempre me siento triste, al borde de un colapso.Pero justo cuando creo que por fin va a pasarme, por fin voy a llorar.Es muy importante que me vaya a liberar de mi estrés y de mis sentimientos, pero nada me he dejado escapar.Siempre me he sentido triste, al borde de una crisis.Pero justo cuando pienso que me siento muy seguro. |
I'm convinced my math teacher hates me I've been struggling with math and it's tough for.me my teacher knows that but still gets mad when I can't get the answer to a question and embarrass me in the middle of class. Then there are my grades I had a c in math and progress reports where going out you only get one if you have a d grade or lower but my teacher gave one to me. And ingot in trouble because my parents expect at least a b. Then last week we had a test. I was getting my grades up I was almost to a b but then I notice I see a day later my grade went down by almost 30 points. And I thought I did well I knew for a fact I passed that test. I double checked my answers triple checked I had to have at least got most right. But then I see I have an f now. The test wasn't even 30 points. Now I'm screwed the quarters almost over and the home work which is most of our grade is only Worth one point IF my teacher grades it sometimes he "forgets" so it's pretty much impossible to get your grade up. And his response to asking about my grade is do your work. Pretending I don't turn in all of my work on time. I'm so stressed out 8th grade sucks I hate it. Everyone's mean and distant the more I grow up and my grades can't stay up. I'm going to fucking implode. | [] | [
"I'm convinced my math teacher hates me I've been struggling with math and it's tough for.me my teacher knows thatbut still gets mad when I can't get the answer to a question and embarrass me in the middle of class.Then there are my grades I had a c in math and progress reports where going out you only get one if you have a d grade or lower but my teacher gave one to me.And ingot in trouble because my parents expect at least a b.Then last week we had a test.I was getting my grades up I was almost to a bbut then I notice I see a day later my grade went down by almost 30 points.And I thought I didwell I knew for a fact I passed that test.I double checked my answers triple checked I had to have at least got most right.But then I see I have an f now.The test wasn't even 30 points.Now I'm screwed the quarters almost over and the home work which is most of our grade is only Worth one point IF my teacher grades it sometimes he \"forgets\" so it's pretty much impossible to get your grade up.And his response to asking about my grade is do your work.Pretending I don't turn in all of my work on time.I'm so stressed out 8th grade sucks I hate it.",
"Everyone's mean and distant the more I grow up and my grades can't stay up.I'm going to fucking implode."
] | 288 | Estoy convencido de que mi profesor de matemáticas me odia y que he estado luchando con las matemáticas y es difícil para.me mi profesor sabe que pero todavía se enoja cuando no puedo obtener la respuesta a una pregunta y me avergüenza en el medio de la clase.Luego están mis calificaciones que tenía un c en matemáticas y informes de progreso donde salir sólo uno si tienes un grado d o inferior pero mi profesor me dio uno a mí.Y me metí en problemas porque mis padres esperan al menos un b.Luego la semana pasada tuvimos un examen.Estaba subiendo mis calificaciones casi a un b pero luego me di cuenta de que veo un día más tarde mi grado se redujo por casi 30 puntos.Y pensé que lo hice bien sabía por un hecho que pasé ese examen.Revisé dos veces mis respuestas triple comprobaré que tenía al menos más derecho.Pero entonces veo que tengo un f ahora.El examen no era ni siquiera 30 puntos.Ahora he jodido los cuartos casi y el trabajo en casa que es la mayor parte de nuestro grado es sólo un punto que si mis calificaciones de maestro lo pasan por alto. |
no rewards for resistensehi reddit. i am an anon. i do not know why i am postting this reaaly. perhaps a chance to hear myself speak? perhaps an open forum to categorise my thoughtS? perhaps just because... and because is enough.
ten years ago i gave up on life. i crossed a lne.
it's not despair or depression that keep me beyond that line. it is fatigue.
a member of my family was suisidal. to my knowledge they still are. we don not speak about it. we are unable to now.
i supported them for years. dropped out of school to work and finnancially keep them afloat. i cooked. cleaned. i managed our lives. while they drunk. got depressed.
they had been committed to a mental institution once for a failed attempt. i still remember the smell of that building. the glazed eyes of the patients who were being medicated there. the woman who began a conversation with me saying that she did not kill her husband and the haunting knowledge that i first heard the phrase "never say goodbye, that is forever. only say see you later" from her lips.
three years i supported that person. because i love them. we were all the other had in the world. i was too weak to stop them drinking. how could i take away their vice? what else would they do while i worked?
their depression grew stronger. i soldiered on.
eventually it got too much. another failed attempt. they had already taken the pills before i got home.
i always blamed myself for not dealing with them when drunk. i supported in all ways but never well enough.
we argued. i was tired. empty. had nothing left to give.
i yelled at them. i told them how i would benefit from them giving in and just doing it. they did not back down. they called my bluff. they told me to do it with them.
that pure and perfect opportunity to just exit. in that moment i was ready. i was ready because i had given everything and the atlas struggle would finally be over if i just did not fight or resist anymore. if i just let reality wash over me and consume me. ---to this day that feeling of surrender is one of the best emotions i can remember. i was ready.
they backed down when i agreed. they saw what their attitude had done and in a moment of selflessness my family member backed down.
we sat up that night. the pills were still in their system.
they did not die.
years pass.
i move on.
they move on.
that night lives on as a memory only in my head. there are times i wonder if it happened at all. how would i know if it had or had not.
time kept pushing on me. struggle after struggle came and i conquered them.
while caring for my family member i had developed an ability to weather these storms. push through. get through. keep your head down. survive. endure.
god it's such a struggle.
that memory of surrender haunts me.
but i have family now. i have friends. i have people who need me.
so i weather.
i endure.
i found the best way to cope with life is to disassociate with it. not take it on board.
i no longer know how to handle compliments.
my years of training under a suicidal dependant have made me terrified of failure. if i do not live to every expectation i will make things worse. i will cause an episode. i need to do everything. for everyone.
i make life a struggle. i keep heaping on these challenges. taking on more responsibility. breaking myself.
and i never feel satisfaction.
that's the worst part. i don't even feel relief anymore. once i've accomplished something. i just press on.
that has become my life. add on more. feel more pressure. never release. never pride. only failure.
i'm so tired.
and i don't know how to ask for help. i cannot expect anyone to understand. i try so hard to explain it but the words do not come out right.
"you should feel pride"
"take some credit"
and if i speak up they take the rug away... "you should not do so much" "you know what happens when you push yourself"
i feel worthless when that happens.
so i just disassociate. stop thinking of myself. stop applying my self to anything. that way i no one will bother me. no one will make me feel worse by trying to rescue me.
i do not feel sad. i do not really feel happy. i just go with the flow. think about how others feel all the time. live to make them happy. at least then my presence will be worthwhile.
i fake it.
i fake it because i can not remember how to be honest.
when people try to get in i kneejerk push them away. i keep trying to push past that. all i can do is offer content without emotion. i cannot apply myself to any story. to any pleas. i just sit here rotting in the back of my brain.
where no one will be dragged in to my void.
where no one will watch me dead on the inside.
where no one will offer pity.
no shame.
no being locked in like i once was. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"no rewards for resistensehi reddit.i am an anon.i do not know why i am postting this reaaly.perhaps a chance to hear myself speak?perhaps an open forum to categorise my thoughtS?perhaps just because...and because is enough.ten years ago i gave up on life.i crossed a lne.it's not despair or depression that keep me beyond that line.it is fatigue.a member of my family was suisidal.to my knowledge they still are.we don not speak about it.we are unable to now.i supported them for years.dropped out of school to work and finnancially keep them afloat.i cooked.cleaned.i managed our lives.while they drunk.got depressed.they had been committed to a mental institution once for a failed attempt.i still remember the smell of that building.the glazed eyes of the patients who were being medicated there.the woman who began a conversation with me saying that she did not kill her husband and the haunting knowledge that i first heard the phrase \"never say goodbye, that is forever.only say see you later\" from her lips.three years i supported that person.because i love them.we were all the other had in the world.i was too weak to stop them drinking.how could i take away their vice?",
"what else would they do while i worked?their depression grew stronger.i soldiered on.eventually it got too much.another failed attempt.they had already taken the pills before i got home.i always blamed myself for not dealing with them when drunk.i supported in all ways but never well enough.we argued.i was tired.empty.had nothing left to give.i yelled at them.i told them how i would benefit from them giving in and just doing it.they did not back down.they called my bluff.they told me to do it with them.\n\nthat pure and perfect opportunity to just exit.in that moment i was ready.i was ready because i had given everything and the atlas struggle would finally be over if i just did not fight or resist anymore.if i just let reality wash over me and consume me.---tothis day that feeling of surrender is one of the best emotions i can remember.i was ready.they backed down when i agreed.they saw what their attitude had done and in a moment of selflessness my family member backed down.we sat up that night.the pills were still in their system.they did not die.years pass.i move on.they move on.that night lives on as a memory only in my head.there are times i wonder if it happened at all.",
"how would i know if it had or had not.time kept pushing on me.struggle after struggle came and i conquered them.while caring for my family member i had developed an ability to weather these storms.push through.get through.keep your head down.survive.endure.god it's such a struggle.that memory of surrender haunts me.but i have family now.i have friends.i have people who need me.so i weather.i endure.i found the best way to cope with life is to disassociate with it.not take it on board.i no longer know how to handle compliments.my years of training under a suicidal dependant have made me terrified of failure.if i do not live to every expectation i will make things worse.i will cause an episode.i need to do everything.for everyone.i make life a struggle.i keep heaping on these challenges.taking on more responsibility.breaking myself.and i never feel satisfaction.that's the worst part.i don't even feel relief anymore.once i've accomplished something.i just press on.that has become my life.add on more.feel more pressure.never release.never pride.only failure.i'm so tired.and i don't know how to ask for help.i cannot expect anyone to understand.",
"i try so hard to explain it but the words do not come out right.\"you should feel pride\"\n\n\"take some credit\"\n\nand if i speak up they take the rug away...\"you should not do so much\" \"you know what happens when you push yourself\"\n\ni feel worthless when that happens.so i just disassociate.stop thinking of myself.stop applying my self to anything.that way i no one will bother me.no one will make me feel worse by trying to rescue me.i do not feel sad.i do not really feel happy.i just go with the flow.think about how others feel all the time.live to make them happy.at least then my presence will be worthwhile.i fake it.i fake it because i can not remember how to be honest.when people try to get in i kneejerk push them away.i keep trying to push past that.all i can do is offer content without emotion.i cannot apply myself to any story.to any pleas.i just sit here rotting in the back of my brain.where no one will be dragged in to my void.\n\nwhere no one will watch me dead on the inside.where no one will offer pity.no shame.no being locked in like i once was."
] | 292 | No hay recompensas para resistensehi reddit.i am anon.i no sé por qué estoy publicando este reaaly.tal vez una oportunidad de escucharme hablar?tal vez un foro abierto para categorizar mi pensamientoS?tal vez sólo porque...y porque es suficiente.hace diez años que me di por vencido en la vida.i cruzó una lne.it no es desesperación o depresión que me mantiene más allá de esa línea.es fatiga.un miembro de mi familia fue suisidal.a mi conocimiento que todavía lo son.no podemos hablar de ello.no podemos ahora.i apoyarlos durante años.despedido de la escuela para trabajar y financialmente mantenerlos a float.i cocine.limpied.i manejaron nuestras vidas.mientras que se emborracharon.se deprimidos.ellos habían sido comprometidos a una institución mental una vez por un intento fallido.todavía recuerdo el olor de ese edificio.los ojos videntes de los pacientes que estaban siendo medicados allí. |
At this point I'm convinced relationships just don't exist Like, how can they??
How can someone have a best friend, someone who loves them and cares about them, who ALSO does sexual stuff all while making each other happy like that.
All the more convinced my life is a lie and everyone is a paid actor | [] | [
"At this point I'm convinced relationships just don't exist Like, how can they??How can someone have a best friend, someone who loves them and cares about them, who ALSO does sexual stuff all while making each other happy like that.All the more convinced my life is a lie and everyone is a paid actor"
] | 67 | En este punto estoy convencido de que las relaciones simplemente no existen ¿Cómo pueden? ¿Cómo puede alguien tener un mejor amigo, alguien que los ama y se preocupa por ellos, que TAMBIÉN hace cosas sexuales mientras se hacen felices el uno al otro de esa manera.Tanto más convencido de que mi vida es una mentira y todos son un actor pagado |
I just feel like there is no point delaying the inevitableI've graduated from one of the best universities in my country which I'd got accepted with a scholarship and national degree in university entrence exams. I've graduated with 3.2/4 gpa score. I've gone to Sweden with Erasmus programme, I've played in a great band for the first 3 years of my university life, had been selpt with 5-6 women which I had a serious relationship that last 2.5 years with 2 of them. I've graduated and got accepted for the graduate school that I wanted and currently I am studying Game Technologies. My first ever game had got downloaded by 2 million people during my first job experience. This year at 14th Februrary, everything was changed. My girlfriend dumbed me for a fuckboy, my parents got divorced (and they were very verbal to me about this topic), I had to swtich jobs because I thought I was underpayed and being used there and now I am working in defense industries (totally different industry that I'd imagine for my career). I dont know, I think I've accomplished much during my school years but whenever I look back I say to myself I could do better.
I could do better if I was living in a different country, I could do better if I didn't waste my time on two long serious relationships. I could do better if I decided to study abroad and just accept my parent's offer to pay for it (I didn't want to make them pay for MY education). I could do better if I didn't have a girlfriend when I was living in sweden with eramus programme. I could do better if I didn't stop making music or writing poems and stories, I could do better if I didn't take the job at defense industries so early that quitting the job means getting banned from the best paying sector in Turkey. Everything I did seems like a failure to me. And worst of all, I've gained a lot of weight, my self esteem is on the ground, I just stopped believing myself or in other words I stopped lying myself about I can accomplish anything.
Anyways, for people around me, I am a succesfull, mature, intellectual, functioning person with interesting hobbies. But inside of my mind, these things just doesn't matter. I was so pumped by my parents, my friends and my girlfriends, nothing I do satisfies me and I am feeling like I am slowly losing all my skills (social, artistic, general etc.).
I dont add value to anyone around me. Noone needs me, Noone craves for my love, needs my support, needs me around them.
I was such a nice guy to all my friends and lovers. But in the end I was the one who got screwed up by them. I can not seem to get laid nowadays, if you exclude some of my ex gf's. that really affects me because I was used to have a regular sex life (and boy, it was great). I cannot meet with new people and make them like me like used to. I could sit on a table that I know only one person at that table and carry the conversation for hours but now I am just struggling with even answering the basic questions. I used to have strong believes about life, politics, relationships (I'm an atheist), and know I realize that these believes just made me loser in the end and I cannot change them because they are infused into my mind.
Turkey is a very depressing place if you have at least slightly above the average intellectual capacities, and I feel like I am trapped in this place where people are sooo terrible; muslim-heads who long for the glorious days of ignorance and bigotry of ottoman empire, wannabe "highly cultural" social media slaves/plaza workers, bigheaded academics who doesn't give a shit about their thesis student, women who satisfies themselves with shallow relationships or expects irrationally much from men, people who cannot appreciate a good company and keep expecting a personal benefit from every relationship they have.
Fuck I am so overwhelmed trying to describe the state of mind I am in, I am so sorry people. I wish English was my mother tongue, but it isn't and I am not confident the way I express myself.
This life, is too complicating, too demanding, too shallow and most importantly too worthless especially in Turkey. I want to leave here, but I don't know if I can find the happiness and peace in another country. Here, I am an intellectual, succesfull computer engineer; outside of Turkey, I am a fucking roach. I've sent my cv to a lot of places outside the country. Noone wants me. How do I escape here? Should I escape here and leave all of my successes and failures behind me and start a new life? Would it worth the effort? I don't know.
Death, seems like such a sweet release to me. I just want to die, naturally, at this moment, in an instant. I had enough. I had my peak at this life and I am just slowly going down to a horrible end I can feel it. I've been depressed before, even got some medical treatment for it. It doesn't feel like being depressed at all. It is just... there is no meaning in anything at all. We are bunch of atoms. Dying will just stop all of it. I wouldn't care for anyone and anything If I was dead. I wouldn't be upset about the fact that I could do much, have children and stuff. Dead doesn't care. Dead is dead and for the last month I just feel like there is no point delaying the inevitable. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I just feel like there is no point delaying the inevitableI've graduated from one of the best universities in my country which I'd got accepted with a scholarship and national degree in university entrence exams.I've graduated with 3.2/4 gpa score.I've gone to Sweden with Erasmus programme, I've played in a great band for the first 3 years of my university life, had been selpt with 5-6 women which I had a serious relationship that last 2.5 years with 2 of them.I've graduated and got accepted for the graduate school that I wanted and currently I am studying Game Technologies.My first ever game had got downloaded by 2 million people during my first job experience.This year at 14th Februrary, everything was changed.My girlfriend dumbed me for a fuckboy, my parents got divorced (and they were very verbal to me about this topic), I had to swtich jobs because I thought I was underpayed and being used there and now I am working in defense industries (totally different industry that I'd imagine for my career).I dont know, I think I've accomplished much during my school yearsbut whenever I look back I say to myself I could do better.",
"I could do better if I was living in a different country, I could do better if I didn't waste my time on two long serious relationships.I could do better if I decided to study abroad and just accept my parent's offer to pay for it (I didn't want to make them pay for MY education).I could do better if I didn't have a girlfriend when I was living in sweden with eramus programme.I could do better if I didn't stop making music or writing poems and stories, I could do better if I didn't take the job at defense industries so early that quitting the job means getting banned from the best paying sector in Turkey.Everything I did seems like a failure to me.And worst of all, I've gained a lot of weight, my self esteem is on the ground, I just stopped believing myself or in other words I stopped lying myself about I can accomplish anything.Anyways, for people around me, I am a succesfull, mature, intellectual, functioning person with interesting hobbies.But inside of my mind, these things just doesn't matter.I was so pumped by my parents, my friends and my girlfriends, nothing I do satisfies meand I am feeling like I am slowly losing all my skills (social, artistic, general etc.).",
"I dont add value to anyone around me.Noone needs me, Noone craves for my love, needs my support, needs me around them.I was such a nice guy to all my friends and lovers.But in the end I was the one who got screwed up by them.I can not seem to get laid nowadays, if you exclude some of my ex gf's.that really affects me because I was used to have a regular sex life (and boy, it was great).I cannot meet with new people and make them like me like used to.I could sit on a table that I know only one person at that table and carry the conversation for hours but now I am just struggling with even answering the basic questions.I used to have strong believes about life, politics, relationships (I'm an atheist), and know I realize that these believes just made me loser in the end and I cannot change them because they are infused into my mind.",
"Turkey is a very depressing place if you have at least slightly above the average intellectual capacities, and I feel like I am trapped in this place where people are sooo terrible; muslim-heads who long for the glorious days of ignorance and bigotry of ottoman empire, wannabe \"highly cultural\" social media slaves/plaza workers, bigheaded academics who doesn't give a shit about their thesis student, women who satisfies themselves with shallow relationships or expects irrationally much from men, people who cannot appreciate a good company and keep expecting a personal benefit from every relationship they have.Fuck I am so overwhelmed trying to describe the state of mind I am in, I am so sorry people.I wish English was my mother tongue, but it isn't and I am not confident the way I express myself.This life, is too complicating, too demanding, too shallow and most importantly too worthless especially in Turkey.I want to leave here, but I don't know if I can find the happiness and peace in another country.Here, I am an intellectual, succesfull computer engineer; outside of Turkey, I am a fucking roach.I've sent my cv to a lot of places outside the country.Noone wants me.",
"How do I escape here?Should I escape here and leave all of my successes and failures behind me and start a new life?Would it worth the effort?I don't know.Death, seems like such a sweet release to me.I just want to die, naturally, at this moment, in an instant.I had enough.I had my peak at this life and I am just slowly going down to a horrible end I can feel it.I've been depressed before, even got some medical treatment for it.It doesn't feel like being depressed at all.It is just...there is no meaning in anything at all.We are bunch of atoms.Dying will just stop all of it.I wouldn't care for anyone and anything If I was dead.I wouldn't be upset about the fact that I could do much, have children and stuff.Dead doesn't care.Dead is dead and for the last month I just feel like there is no point delaying the inevitable."
] | 257 | Me siento como si no tuviera sentido retrasar lo inevitable que me gradué de una de las mejores universidades de mi país que había aceptado con una beca y un título nacional en los exámenes de ingreso de la universidad.Me gradué con 3,2/4 gpa score.He ido a Suecia con el programa Erasmus, he tocado en una gran banda durante los primeros 3 años de mi vida universitaria, había sido selp con 5-6 mujeres que tuve una relación seria que duró 2,5 años con 2 de ellas.Me gradué y me aceptaron para la escuela de posgrado que quería y actualmente estoy estudiando Game Technologies.Mi primer juego había sido descargado por 2 millones de personas durante mi primera experiencia laboral.Este año, en el 14 de febrero, todo cambió.Mi novia me engañó por un hijo de puta, mis padres se divorciaron (y fueron muy verbales para mí sobre este tema), tuve que hacer un trabajo duro porque pensé que estaba mal pagado y que me estaban usando allí y ahora estoy trabajando en industrias de defensa (totalmente diferente industria que me imaginaba para mi carrera). |
it's so calming and fun ain't it just playing assassins creed 4 black flag and sailing in the sea with a shanty playing and avoiding all the fights you can avoid and just feel like a real sailor in the 1700s is so calming yet so fun at the same time | [] | [
"it's so calming and fun ain't it just playing assassins creed 4 black flag and sailing in the sea with a shanty playing and avoiding all the fights you can avoid and just feel like a real sailor in the 1700s is so calming yet so fun at the same time"
] | 63 | Es tan calmante y divertido no es sólo jugar a los asesinos credo 4 bandera negra y navegar en el mar con un chabola jugando y evitando todas las peleas que se puede evitar y simplemente se siente como un verdadero marinero en la década de 1700 es tan calmante pero tan divertido al mismo tiempo |
aight its settled im getting a stainless steel chain then i can wear my Dagaz rune on it which will be super cool. Sidenote i dont actually believe the runes have any magical power its just symbolic for me since its the rune of perseverance and ive been through a lot. | [] | [
"aight its settled im getting a stainless steel chain then i can wear my Dagaz rune on it which will be super cool.Sidenote i dont actually believe the runes have any magical power its just symbolic for me since its the rune of perseverance and ive been through a lot."
] | 62 | aight su estable im conseguir una cadena de acero inoxidable entonces puedo usar mi runa Dagaz en ella que será super cool.Sidenote realmente no creo que las runas tienen ningún poder mágico su sólo simbólico para mí desde su runa de perseverancia y ha pasado por mucho. |
why does the dark sing why does the dark sing why does the dark singBreaking
Breaking
Breaking
Falling
Falling
Falling
Free
Free
Free
Free
FREE
FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE
FREE FREE FREE
FREE
I
Can’t
It will all be over soon
Cut
Cut
Cut
Bleed
Bleed
Bleed
Die
Die
Die
333
333
333
3
3
3
3
3
3
Oa
Forgive Me
Why does the ark sing?
333
333
333
3
3
3
3
3
3
must be 3
must be 3
must be 3
why does the ark sing?
why does the dark sing?
why does the ark sing?
The medication is poison.
The medication is poison.
The medication is poison.
They see you.
They see you.
They see you.
Eyes.
Eyes.
Eyes.
why does the dark sing
Why does the dark sing
why does the dark sing
Die
Die
Die
Lie
Lie
Lie
Die
Die
Die
Lie
Lie
Lie
Die
Die
Die
Lie
Lie
Lie
Die
Die
Die
Lie
Lie
Lie
Die
Die die die lie lie lie die die lie lie lie die die die lie lie lie die die die lie lie lie
why does the dark sing
Goodbye | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"why does the dark sing why does the dark sing why does the dark singBreaking\nBreaking\nBreaking\n\nFalling\nFalling\nFalling\n\nFree\n\nFree\n\nFree\n\nFree\nFREE\nFREE FREE FREE FREE FREE\nFREE FREE FREE\nFREE\nI\nCan’t\n\nIt will all be over soon\n\nCut\nCut\nCut\n\nBleed\nBleed\nBleed\n\nDie\nDie\nDie\n\n333\n333\n333\n\n3\n3\n3\n\n3\n\n3\n\n3\n\nOa\n\nForgive Me\n\nWhy does the ark sing?333\n333\n333\n\n3\n\n3\n\n3\n\n3\n3\n3\n\nmust be 3\n\nmust be 3\n\nmust be 3\n\nwhy does the ark sing?\nwhy does the dark sing?\nwhy does the ark sing?The medication is poison.The medication is poison.The medication is poison.They see you.They see you.They see you.Eyes.Eyes.Eyes.why does the dark sing\nWhy does the dark sing\nwhy does the dark sing\n\nDie\nDie\nDie\n\nLie\nLie\nLie\n\nDie\nDie\nDie\n\nLie\nLie\nLie\n\nDie\nDie\nDie\nLie\nLie\nLie\nDie\nDie\nDie\nLie\nLie\nLie\nDie\nDie die die lie lie lie die die lie lie lie die die die lie lie lie die die die lie lie lie\n\nwhy does the dark sing\n\nGoodbye"
] | 232 | ¿Por qué la oscuridad canta por qué la oscuridad canta por qué la oscuridad canta por qué la oscuridad Cortar Cortar Cortar Bleed Bleed Bleed Die Die Die Die 333 333 333 333 333 333 333 333 333 3 3 3 3 3 debe ser 3 debe ser 3 3 ¿Por qué canta la oscuridad? ¿Por qué canta la oscuridad? ¿Por qué canta la oscuridad? ¿Por qué canta la oscuridad? El medicamento es veneno.El medicamento es veneno.El medicamento es veneno.El medicamento es veneno.Te ven.Te ven.Te ven.Te ven.Eyes.Eyes.Por qué canta la oscuridad canta por qué canta la oscuridad Die Die Die Mentira Mentira Die Mentira Die Mentira Die Die Mentira Die Mentira Die Die Mentira Die Mentira Die Mentira Die Mentira Die Mentira Die Mentira Mentira Die Mentira Mentira Die Mentira Die Mentira Die Mentira Mentira Die Mentira Mentira Die Mentira Mentira Die Mentira Mentira Die Mentira Mentira |
It do be sad girl hour's :/ Idk y but I'm like super big sad it sucks smh
And the post soviet punk isn't helping lol | [] | [
"It do be sad girl hour's :/Idk ybut I'm like super big sad it sucks smh\n\nAnd the post soviet punk isn't helping lol"
] | 40 | Es triste chica hora :/Idk ybut estoy como súper grande triste que apesta smh Y el punk postsoviético no está ayudando a lol |
Y’all are very swag except... To all the pervs in this you aren’t swag and a personal fuck you. | [] | [
"Y’all are very swag except... To all the pervs in this you aren’t swag and a personal fuck you."
] | 31 | Todos ustedes son muy swag excepto... Para todos los pervertidos en esto no son swag y un polvo personal. |
All I think about is death, I lost my life I loved in 2015 and Havnt left he house since because I’m hideous...▪️3 photo album of me usually
https://m.imgur.com/a/c032p8X
▪️4 photo album (first pic is 3 years old tho)
https://m.imgur.com/a/LqcSQnZ
▪️tinder pic I used
https://m.imgur.com/a/9Ikw555 | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"All I think about is death, I lost my life I loved in 2015 and Havnt left he house since because I’m hideous...▪️3 photo album of me usually\n\nhttps://m.imgur.com/a/c032p8X\n\n▪️4 photo album (first pic is 3 years old tho)\n\nhttps://m.imgur.com/a/LqcSQnZ\n\n\n\n▪️tinder pic I used\n\nhttps://m.imgur.com/a/9Ikw555"
] | 112 | Todo lo que pienso es en la muerte, perdí mi vida que amaba en 2015 y havnt dejó su casa desde porque soy horrible ... 3 álbum de fotos de mí por lo general https://m.imgur.com/a/c032p8X 4 álbum de fotos (la primera foto es de 3 años de edad tho) https://m.imgur.com/a/LqcSQnZ tinder pic Utilic https://m.imgur.com/a/9Ikw555 |
i don't understand why i'm not good enough.I know there are a lot of people in this subreddit who are in impossibly hard situations and I feel like my problem is so small in comparison. However, it is one that is weighing on me and I feel so low that I want to die. I'm a 30 year old woman and have never been "lucky" when it comes to dating or relations, however I met someone last year that I felt I connected with. We had so much fun together and I loved to be around him, and we "dated" but I felt like I was not good enough to be his girlfriend. He was hungup on an ex girlfriend and when he talked about her it would hurt me each time, I felt like I would never be good enough compared to her. Why was she good enough for him to date but not me? It messed me up so much. He would say things like "I would be the luckiest guy if you were my girlfriend" or 'you would be the perfect girlfriend". At the same time he would brush off discussions I've tried to have about relationships and would say "you deserve a nice boyfriend" and things like that. The whole ordeal made me feel awful about myself and I have been in such a depression. We still text but I don't try to have serious conversations anymore since he moved for his job anyways. I feel like a fucking idiot for putting myself in this position but I don't see any hope. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"i don't understand why i'm not good enough.I know there are a lot of people in this subreddit who are in impossibly hard situations and I feel like my problem is so small in comparison.However, it is one that is weighing on me and I feel so low that I want to die.I'm a 30 year old woman and have never been \"lucky\" when it comes to dating or relations, however I met someone last year that I felt I connected with.We had so much fun togetherand I loved to be around him, and we \"dated\" but I felt like I was not good enough to be his girlfriend.He was hungup on an ex girlfriend and when he talked about her it would hurt me each time, I felt like I would never be good enough compared to her.Why was she good enough for him to date but not me?It messed me up so much.He would say things like \"I would be the luckiest guy if you were my girlfriend\" or 'you would be the perfect girlfriend\".At the same time he would brush off discussions I've tried to have about relationships and would say \"you deserve a nice boyfriend\" and things like that.The whole ordeal made me feel awful about myself and I have been in such a depression.We still text",
"but I don't try to have serious conversations anymore since he moved for his job anyways.I feel like a fucking idiot for putting myself in this position but I don't see any hope."
] | 276 | No entiendo por qué no soy lo suficientemente bueno.Sé que hay mucha gente en este subredito que está en situaciones imposiblemente difíciles y siento que mi problema es tan pequeño en comparación.Sin embargo, es uno que está pesando sobre mí y me siento tan bajo que quiero morir.Soy una mujer de 30 años y nunca he sido "afortunada" cuando se trata de citas o relaciones, sin embargo conocí a alguien el año pasado que me sentí conectado con.Tuvimos tanta diversión juntos y me encantó estar cerca de él, y nos "damos" pero me sentí como que no era lo suficientemente bueno para ser su novia.Él estaba obsesionado con una ex novia y cuando habló de ella me haría daño cada vez, sentí que nunca sería lo suficientemente bueno comparado con ella.¿Por qué ella era lo suficientemente buena para salir con él pero no conmigo?Me arruinó mucho.Él diría cosas como "Yo sería el tipo más afortunado si fueras mi novia" o 'tú serías la novia perfecta".En el mismo momento que él se desechó como que he tratado de tener una relación con alguien y me sentiría bien. |
*angry button fingering* "I'm trying to sleep, but the amount of testosterone flowing tho my body, is keeping me awake" -Me to my step mom when she walks in on me naked play doom eternal | [] | [
"*angry button fingering* \"I'm trying to sleep, but the amount of testosterone flowing tho my body, is keeping me awake\" -Me to my step mom when she walks in on me naked play doom eternal"
] | 48 | "Estoy tratando de dormir, pero la cantidad de testosterona que fluye mi cuerpo, me mantiene despierto" -Me a mi madrastra cuando ella entra en mí desnudo juego de la perdición eterna |
Feeling alone with my suicidal feelingsMy suicidal thoughts are slowly eating away at me. They never stop. I feel trapped. I feel scared and I feel alone | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Feeling alone with my suicidal feelingsMy suicidal thoughts are slowly eating away at me.They never stop.I feel trapped.I feel scared and I feel alone"
] | 31 | Sentirme sola con mis sentimientos suicidasMis pensamientos suicidas me están comiendo lentamente.Nunca se detienen.Me siento atrapada.Me siento asustada y me siento sola. |
Not depressed or sad but getting more comfortable with suicide day by day because I just dont enjoy the struggle of being alive.
I really don't know what i'm doing with my life. I'm 25 years old and i'm a filmmaker, people praise me for the stuff I make, write and work on but the more they do, the more uncomfortable I get. I have no real friends and no family, everybody in my life seems like an asset to my own succes, I can't help it and it sucks......
I got kicked out at 16 and became homeless pretty quick, since then it seems I have become desensitized to life itself, i'm actually doing really great now but still.... I'm slowly becoming an alcoholic after having been an stoner for over three years. Lately I have been thinking about getting a gun or making an exit bag and just ending it, I mean why not? Life is good-ish, i'm happy most of the time, why should I endure another 40-50 years of uncertainty and struggle while I can just end it now? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Not depressed or sad but getting more comfortable with suicide day by day because I just dont enjoy the struggle of being alive.I really don't know what i'm doing with my life.I'm 25 years old and i'm a filmmaker, people praise me for the stuff I make, write and work on but the more they do, the more uncomfortable I get.I have no real friends and no family, everybody in my life seems like an asset to my own succes, I can't help it and it sucks......I got kicked out at 16 and became homeless pretty quick, since then it seems I have become desensitized to life itself, i'm actually doing really great now but still....I'm slowly becoming an alcoholic after having been an stoner for over three years.Lately I have been thinking about getting a gun or making an exit bag and just ending it, I mean why not?Life is good-ish, i'm happy most of the time, why should I endure another 40-50 years of uncertainty and struggle while I can just end it now?"
] | 231 | No estoy deprimido ni triste, pero me siento más cómodo con el suicidio día a día porque no disfruto de la lucha de estar vivo.Realmente no sé lo que estoy haciendo con mi vida.Tengo 25 años y soy un cineasta, la gente me alaba por las cosas que hago, escribo y trabajo pero cuanto más lo hacen, más incómodo me siento.No tengo amigos reales y ninguna familia, todos en mi vida parece un activo para mis propios éxitos, no puedo evitarlo y apesta...... Me echaron a los 16 años y me quedé sin hogar bastante rápido, ya que parece que me he vuelto desensibilizado con la vida misma, en realidad lo estoy haciendo realmente muy bien ahora, pero todavía... Me estoy convirtiendo lentamente en un alcohólico después de haber sido un drogo por más de tres años.Últimamente he estado pensando en conseguir un arma o hacer una bolsa de salida y terminarla, quiero decir, ¿por qué no?La vida es buena, soy feliz la mayor parte del tiempo, ¿por qué debería soportar otros 40-50 años de incertidumbre y luchar mientras puedo terminarla ahora? |
.Fuckin a man. Why is it there isn’t a single fucking troll in this whole forum. I just need a push please | [
"selfharm"
] | [
".Fuckin a man.Why is it there isn’t a single fucking troll in this whole forum.I just need a push please"
] | 31 | .A la mierda un hombre. ¿Por qué no hay ni un puto troll en todo este foro. Sólo necesito un empujón por favor |
It doesn’t get better.I tried to kill myself three nights ago and only just woke up today. I’ve had outpourings of support from family and friends but it all seems meaningless to me, like I don’t want to stay alive without being someone else’s reason to live. All I can think about is getting out of the hospital so that I can try to kill myself again and not be so foolish to call the ambulance and let myself pass out to obvliion. The thing is, if I’d have died I would’ve been at peace, I wouldn’t have known a thing more. It wouldn’t have mattered in the grand scheme of things look how many of us there are. I’m just sick of this place and sick of this cruel world with no hope or release or cool down it’s just full on to the point where I’m not strong enough to take it and that’s okay. Sorry that I let all my family and friends down but they just don’t get it. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"It doesn’t get better.I tried to kill myself three nights ago and only just woke up today.I’ve had outpourings of support from family and friends but it all seems meaningless to me, like I don’t want to stay alive without being someone else’s reason to live.All I can think about is getting out of the hospital so that I can try to kill myself again and not be so foolish to call the ambulance and let myself pass out to obvliion.The thing is, if I’d have died I would’ve been at peace, I wouldn’t have known a thing more.It wouldn’t have mattered in the grand scheme of things look how many of us there are.I’m just sick of this place and sick of this cruel world with no hope or release or cool down it’s just full on to the point where I’m not strong enough to take it and that’s okay.Sorry that I let all my family and friends downbut they just don’t get it."
] | 218 | No se pone mejor.Traté de suicidarme hace tres noches y sólo me desperté hoy.He tenido efusiones de apoyo de familiares y amigos, pero todo me parece sin sentido, como si no quisiera seguir vivo sin ser la razón de vivir de alguien más.Todo lo que puedo pensar es en salir del hospital para poder intentar matarme de nuevo y no ser tan tonto al llamar a la ambulancia y dejarme pasar por el olvido.La cosa es, si hubiera muerto habría estado en paz, no habría sabido nada más.No habría importado en el gran esquema de las cosas ver cuántos de nosotros hay.Estoy harto de este lugar y enfermo de este mundo cruel sin esperanza o liberación o enfriarse es hasta el punto en el que no soy lo suficientemente fuerte como para tomarlo y eso está bien.Lo siento que deje caer a toda mi familia y amigos, pero simplemente no lo consiguen. |
Posting every day until I get a girlfriend day 219 Day 100: Im hereby celebrating he 1344th aniversary of the death of Pope Adeudatus 2. on day 100.
Day 101: I like wood
Day 102: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisici elit, sed eiusmod tempor incidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
Day 103: 1 (one)
Day 104: 1000 (one thousand)
Day 105: 1 000 000 (one million)
Day 106: 1 000 000 000 (one billion)
Day 107: 1 000 000 000 000 (one trillion)
Day 108: 1 000 000 000 000 000 (one quadrillion)
Day 109: 10^18 (one quintillion)
Day 110: 10^21 (one sextillion haha "sex"), how did I do this? Today I first walked 10km (600m up), and then bicycled about 10km. I usually struggle with both.
Day 111: 10^24 (one septillion)
Day 112: 10^27 (one octillion)
Day 113: 10^30 (one nonillion)
Day 114: (2020-07-01)I love apache attack helicopters. They are so cute
Day 115: 1234567890
Day 116: Twjgwuwv2iqheiqn2i3beruwk2guehei1kwgwiq
Day 117: there is a piece of dead fly on the wall above my bed for more than 5 years now.
Day 118: A screw fell out of my chair, should I be worried?
Day 119: I want to provoke someone so badly rn...
Day 120: qwertzuiopüasdfghjklöäyxcvbnm
Day 121: Fuck magic eye bot
Day 122: my leg hurts
Say 123: my leg still hurts
Day 124: I need an electric shock rn.
Day 125: 10
Day 126: 9
Day 127: 8
Day 128: 7
Day 129: 6
Day 130: 5
Day 131: 4
Day 132: 3
Day 133: 2
Day 134: 1
Day 135: absoloutly nothing happens after the countdown.
Day 136: 10
Day 137: 9
Day 138: 8
Day 139: Nothing
Day 140: 6
Day 141: 5
Day 142: 4
Day 143: 3
Day 144: 2
Day 145: (2020-08-01)should I start a random austria fact post series?
Day 146: fzzr5jhgt5t3ejänpüjgugzuijgfuhd6ojgz
Day 147: I think I want to change my bedding every day. ITS FUCKING AMAZING, WHY DO I JUST CHANGE IT EVERY 30 DAYS? I WANT THIS FEELING EVERYDAY.
Day 148: I like cats. Cats are cute.
Day 149: im hungry but too tired to get up.
Day 150: I like trains.
Day 151: I like planes.
Day 152: today I witnessed someone getting pulled out of a 30m deep canyon by helicopter.
Day 153: today I yeeted myself of a waterfall.
Day 154: i want to found my own country.
Day 155: I want to yeet myself off a waterfall again :(
Day 156: E
Day 157: A
Day 158: the spanish inquisition
Day 159: S
Day 160: P
Day 161: O
Day 162: R
Day 163: T
Day 164: S
Day 165: is a scam, dont buy.
Day 166: buy minecraft instead.
Day 167: thinking about erections in public is worse than the problem of having an erection in public.
Day 168: why is henry stickmin so popular again?
Day 169: ß
Day 170: why am I even doing this
Day 171: 1234567890 qwertzuiopü asdfghjklöä yxcvbnm.
Day 172: I have a big pp
Say 173: I just bought microsoft flight sim
Day 174: its installing for 24 hours now.
Day 175: It is done.
Day 176: (2020-09-01) its already spetember?!
Day 177: my big toe is as long as my pinky finger and 1.5 time thiccer than my thumb.
Day 178: why do I want to socialice so hard rn? I usually hate talking to ppl.
Day 179: the half year mark is getting closer
Day 180: I like trees.
Day 181: I like cats.
Day 182: I like dogs.
Day 183: Today I talked with a girl.
Day 184: my 3d printer isnt working :(
Day 185: I think im on my way of making a female friend!
Day 186: IM MAKING PROGRESS.
Day 187: I like apples.
Day 188: Im running iut of ideas what to write.
Day 189: e
Day 190: ww2 lasted between 1939 and 1945.
Day 191: and I like pizza.
Day 192: I talked to a different girl today.
Day 193: i like spaghetti too.
Day 194: use ecosia plz, thx.
Day 195: if u dont use ecosia ur stupid.
Day 196: or just plant trees
Day 197: you can still donate to team trees.
Day 198: do you know how plumbusses are made?
Day 199: they are made out of dinglebop.
Day 200: day 200
Day 201: anyone have ideas for shit to write here?
Day 202: I just went through the entire IPA and now my throat hurts.
Day 203: how tf is it almost october?
Day 204: ah shit, this one is a bit late.
Day 205: tomorrow
Day 206: DOOT DOOT
Day 207: drop snoot.
Day 208: with a bit of luck, school will close soon again.
Day 209: i think I eill stop writing random shit.
Day 210: nothing happened today.
Day 211: I think I accidentialy motivated my crush to flirt woth another guy.
Day 212: nothing happened today.
Day 213: nothing happened today.
Day 214: this one is a bit late, because internet bad.
Day 215: nothing happened today.
Day 216: nothing happened today.
Day 217: nothing happened today.
Day 218: nothing happened today.
Day 219: nothing happened today. | [] | [
"Posting every day until I get a girlfriend day 219 Day 100: Im hereby celebrating he 1344th aniversary of the death of Pope Adeudatus 2.on day 100.\n\nDay 101: I like wood\n\nDay 102:Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisici elit, sed eiusmod tempor incidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.Day 103: 1 (one)\n\nDay 104: 1000 (one thousand)Day 105: 1 000 000 (one million)Day 106: 1 000 000 000 (one billion)Day 107: 1 000 000 000 000 (one trillion)\n\nDay 108: 1 000 000 000 000 000 (one quadrillion)\n\nDay 109: 10^18 (one quintillion)Day 110: 10^21 (one sextillion haha \"sex\"), how did I do this?Today I first walked 10km (600m up), and then bicycled about 10km.I usually struggle with both.\n\nDay 111: 10^24 (one septillion)Day 112: 10^27 (one octillion)\n\nDay 113: 10^30 (one nonillion)Day 114: (2020-07-01)I love apache attack helicopters.They are so cute\n\nDay 115: 1234567890\n\nDay 116: Twjgwuwv2iqheiqn2i3beruwk2guehei1kwgwiq\n\nDay 117: there is a piece of dead fly on the wall above my bed for more than 5 years now.Day 118:A screw fell out of my chair, should I be worried?Day 119: I want to provoke someone so badly rn...\n\nDay 120: qwertzuiopüasdfghjklöäyxcvbnm\n\nDay 121: Fuck magic eye bot\n\n",
"Day 122:my leg hurts\n\nSay 123: my leg still hurts\n\nDay 124: I need an electric shock rn.Day 125: 10\n\nDay 126: 9\n\nDay 127: 8\n\nDay 128: 7\n\nDay 129: 6\n\nDay 130: 5\n\nDay 131: 4\n\nDay 132: 3\n\nDay 133: 2\n\nDay 134: 1\n\nDay 135: absoloutly nothing happens after the countdown.Day 136: 10\n\nDay 137: 9\n\nDay 138: 8\n\nDay 139: Nothing\n\nDay 140: 6\n\nDay 141: 5\n\nDay 142: 4\n\nDay 143: 3\n\nDay 144: 2\n\nDay 145: (2020-08-01)shouldI start a random austria fact post series?Day 146: fzzr5jhgt5t3ejänpüjgugzuijgfuhd6ojgz\n\nDay 147: I think I want to change my bedding every day.ITS FUCKING AMAZING, WHY DO I JUST CHANGE IT EVERY 30 DAYS?I WANT THIS FEELING EVERYDAY.Day 148: I like cats.Cats are cute.Day 149: im hungry but too tired to get up.Day 150: I like trains.Day 151: I like planes.Day 152: today I witnessed someone getting pulled out of a 30m deep canyon by helicopter.Day 153: today I yeeted myself of a waterfall.Day 154: i want to found my own country.Day 155: I want to yeet myself off a waterfall again :(Day 156: E\n\nDay 157:A\n\nDay 158: the spanish inquisition\n\nDay 159: S\n\nDay 160: P\n\nDay 161: O\n\nDay 162: R\n\nDay 163: T\n\nDay 164: S\n\nDay 165: is a scam, dont buy.Day 166: buy minecraft instead.",
"Day 167: thinking about erections in public is worse than the problem of having an erection in public.Day 168: why is henry stickmin so popular again?\n\nDay 169: ß\n\nDay 170: why am I even doing this\n\nDay 171: 1234567890 qwertzuiopü asdfghjklöä yxcvbnm.Day 172: I have a big pp\n\nSay 173: I just bought microsoft flight sim\n\nDay 174: its installing for 24 hours now.Day 175:It is done.Day 176: (2020-09-01) its already spetember?!Day 177: my big toe is as long as my pinky finger and 1.5 time thiccer than my thumb.Day 178: why do I want to socialice so hard rn?I usually hate talking to ppl.Day 179: the half year mark is getting closer\n\nDay 180: I like trees.Day 181: I like cats.Day 182: I like dogs.Day 183:Today I talked with a girl.Day 184: my 3d printer isnt working :(Day 185: I think im on my way of making a female friend!Day 186: IM MAKING PROGRESS.Day 187: I like apples.Day 188: Im running iut of ideas what to write.Day 189: e\n\nDay 190: ww2 lasted between 1939 and 1945.Day 191: and I like pizza.Day 192: I talked to a different girl today.Day 193: i like spaghetti too.Day 194: use ecosia plz, thx.Day 195: if u dont use ecosia ur stupid.Day 196: or just plant trees\n\n",
"Day 197: you can still donate to team trees.Day 198: do you know how plumbusses are made?Day 199: they are made out of dinglebop.Day 200: day 200\n\nDay 201: anyone have ideas for shit to write here?Day 202: I just went through the entire IPA and now my throat hurts.Day 203: how tf is it almost october?Day 204: ah shit, this one is a bit late.Day 205: tomorrow\n\nDay 206: DOOT DOOT\n\nDay 207: drop snoot.Day 208: with a bit of luck, school will close soon again.Day 209:i think I eill stop writing random shit.Day 210: nothing happened today.Day 211: I think I accidentialy motivated my crush to flirt woth another guy.Day 212: nothing happened today.Day 213: nothing happened today.Day 214: this one is a bit late, because internet bad.Day 215: nothing happened today.Day 216: nothing happened today.Day 217: nothing happened today.Day 218: nothing happened today.Day 219: nothing happened today."
] | 400 | Día 1110: 1 000 000 000 000 (un cuatrillón) Día 109: 10^18 (un quintillón) Día 110: 10^21 (un sextillón) "sex"), ¿cómo hice esto?Hoy caminé por primera vez 10km (600m) (un cuatrillón) Día 109: 10^18 (un quintillón) Día 110: 10^21 (un sextillion haha "sex"), ¿cómo hice esto? |
I'm on the edgeI don't know what to do anymore, I'm a failure to myself and everyone around me. I'm probably going to take a few hundred units of insulin before going to sleep tonight. The best thing that's ever happened to me will be not waking up. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm on the edgeI don't know what to do anymore, I'm a failure to myself and everyone around me.I'm probably going to take a few hundred units of insulin before going to sleep tonight.The best thing that's ever happened to me will be not waking up."
] | 63 | Estoy en el bordeYa no sé qué hacer, soy un fracaso para mí y para todos a mi alrededor.Probablemente voy a tomar unos cientos de unidades de insulina antes de irme a dormir esta noche.Lo mejor que me ha pasado nunca será no despertarme. |
Here's 3 things some people hate about me 1. I'm gay da ba dee da ba daa
2. I'm a furry
3. I'm gender fluid
Now hate for I am fueled by your hatred | [] | [
"Here's 3 things some people hate about me 1.I'm gay da ba dee da ba daa\n2.I'm a furry\n3.I'm gender fluid\n\nNow hate for I am fueled by your hatred"
] | 46 | Aquí hay 3 cosas que algunas personas odian de mí 1. Soy gay da ba dee da ba daa 2. Soy peludo 3. Soy fluido de género Ahora odio porque estoy alimentado por tu odio. |
German is not that hard to learn Like, I literally learned it in 4 months,its easy, I'll name a couple languages harder than German though: Russian, Spanish, French, Albanian, Greek, Enchanting table and lastly Babyian | [] | [
"German is not that hard to learn Like, I literally learned it in 4 months,its easy, I'll name a couple languages harder than German though: Russian, Spanish, French, Albanian, Greek, Enchanting table and lastly Babyian"
] | 51 | El alemán no es tan difícil de aprender Como, literalmente lo aprendí en 4 meses, es fácil, voy a nombrar un par de idiomas más difícil que el alemán, aunque: ruso, español, francés, albanés, griego, mesa encantada y por último babyian |
IN THE BOOK OF HEAVY METAL | [] | [
"IN THE BOOK OF HEAVY METAL "
] | 9 | EN EL LIBRO DEL METÁLICO HEAVY |
What a wonderful feeling being drunk can beWhat a wonderful feeling being drunk can be. The softness of wine and the cradle of depression. Its the feeling that this is as good as it will get. The rest is just wishful thinking. If only. if Only they could forget about me. If only they had others to love and forgot me. I could be alone and finally go to sleep once and for all. I would sit in a corner ...or maybe not because I am too old to crouch and ball up in the corner of a room: it would be uncomfortable. yes I want to die now, but in comfort and forgotten by all that matter.
​
It is tedious, frustrating and damned irritating. One day it will be easier and I will be able to die as I want to. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"What a wonderful feeling being drunk can beWhat a wonderful feeling being drunk can be.The softness of wine and the cradle of depression.Its the feeling that this is as good as it will get.The rest is just wishful thinking.If only.if Only they could forget about me.If only they had others to love and forgot me.I could be alone and finally go to sleep once and for all.I would sit in a corner ...or maybe not because I am too old to crouch and ball up in the corner of a room: it would be uncomfortable.yes I want to die now, but in comfort and forgotten by all that matter.​\n\nIt is tedious, frustrating and damned irritating.One day it will be easier and I will be able to die as I want to."
] | 176 | Qué maravilloso sentimiento de estar borracho puede serQué maravilloso sentimiento de estar borracho puede ser.La suavidad del vino y la cuna de la depresión.Es la sensación de que esto es tan bueno como se va a conseguir.El resto es sólo un deseo de pensar.Si tan sólo.Si sólo pudieran olvidarse de mí.Si sólo tuvieran a otros que me aman y me olvidaran.Yo podría estar solo y finalmente ir a dormir de una vez por todas.Me sentaría en una esquina ...o tal vez no porque soy demasiado viejo para agacharme y bailar en la esquina de una habitación: sería incómodo.sí quiero morir ahora, pero en consuelo y olvidado por todo eso materia.​ Es tedioso, frustrante y maldito irritante.Un día será más fácil y seré capaz de morir como quiero. |
I probably won't... but it just seems like an easy end to the pain....Truthfully, like most people here... I just want an outside reason or voice to give me some light and make it seem worth it... For the past few weeks I'll grab my gun, unloaded, cock it, and just put it to my head and pull the trigger just to hear the 'click'... It's pretty fucked up considering I haven't felt like this since High School. If anyone cares for the story, I've posted it in r/offmychest and r/relationship_advice. Of course this is all over a girl and I know it'll pass.... I just hate that my mind is trying to kill me.... | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I probably won't...but it just seems like an easy end to the pain....Truthfully, like most people here...I just want an outside reason or voice to give me some light and make it seem worth it...For the past few weeks I'll grab my gun, unloaded, cock it, and just put it to my head and pull the trigger just to hear the 'click'...It's pretty fucked up considering I haven't felt like this since High School.If anyone cares for the story, I've posted it in r/offmychest and r/relationship_advice.Of course this is all over a girland I know it'll pass....I just hate that my mind is trying to kill me...."
] | 163 | Probablemente no lo haré... pero parece un final fácil para el dolor... De verdad, como la mayoría de la gente aquí... Sólo quiero una razón externa o voz para darme un poco de luz y hacer que parezca que vale la pena... Durante las últimas semanas voy a agarrar mi arma, descargarla, follarla, y simplemente me la pongo en la cabeza y apretar el gatillo sólo para escuchar el 'clic'...Es bastante jodido teniendo en cuenta que no me he sentido así desde la escuela secundaria.Si a alguien le importa la historia, la he publicado en r/offmychest y r/relationship_advice.Por supuesto, esto es todo sobre una chica y sé que va a pasar....Solo odio que mi mente esté tratando de matarme.... |
It’s 3:50 am, and I am seriously contemplating suicide.Hey Reddit, I’m sure the post will get completely lost in the threads but I’m sitting here with a bottle of pills trying to come up with the best way to kill myself. Today I was slapped with realization that I have unfortunately surrounded myself with terrible terrible people. People who have lied to me, gossiped about me consistently and who have been downright fake. I’m currently in college and have been dealing with depression and anxiety for about 4 years or so. I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I haven’t been successful. Part of me really wants to talk to someone but I’m to vulnerable and I don’t want to waste peoples time and I don’t want to be labeled as “dramatic”. I’m deciding if I want to write my “friends” and family letters. I’m scared that if I fail this attempt I will be so judged and hated. None of this makes sense I feel as my eyes are blurry. But reddit if you’re out there, if anyone’s out there I’m begging one last time for help before I Down this bottle of pills and climb to the top of my apartment building and succeed in finding some fucked up version of piece. I feel unloved, betrayed and downright worthless. But enough about me. This is where my story ends. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"It’s 3:50 am, and I am seriously contemplating suicide.Hey Reddit, I’m sure the post will get completely lost in the threads but I’m sitting here with a bottle of pills trying to come up with the best way to kill myself.Today I was slapped with realization that I have unfortunately surrounded myself with terrible terrible people.People who have lied to me, gossiped about me consistently and who have been downright fake.I’m currently in college and have been dealing with depression and anxiety for about 4 years or so.I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I haven’t been successful.Part of me really wants to talk to someone but I’m to vulnerableand I don’t want to waste peoples timeand I don’t want to be labeled as “dramatic”.I’m deciding if I want to write my “friends” and family letters.I’m scared that if I fail this attempt I will be so judged and hated.None of this makes sense I feel as my eyes are blurry.But reddit if you’re out there, if anyone’s out there I’m begging one last time for help before I Down this bottle of pills and climb to the top of my apartment building and succeed in finding some fucked up version of piece.I feel unloved, betrayed and downright worthless.",
"But enough about me.This is where my story ends."
] | 285 | Son las 3:50 am, y estoy seriamente contemplando el suicidio.Hola Reddit, estoy seguro de que el post se perderá por completo en los hilos, pero estoy sentado aquí con una botella de píldoras tratando de llegar a la mejor manera de suicidarme.Hoy me han abofeteado con la comprensión de que desafortunadamente me he rodeado de gente terrible.La gente que me ha mentido, chismes sobre mí constantemente y que han sido francamente falsos.Actualmente estoy en la universidad y he estado lidiando con la depresión y la ansiedad durante unos 4 años más o menos.He intentado suicidarme dos veces, y no he tenido éxito.Parte de mí realmente quiere hablar con alguien, pero estoy vulnerable y no quiero perder el tiempo de la gente y no quiero ser etiquetado como “dramático”.Estoy decidiendo si quiero escribir mis “amigos” y cartas familiares.Tengo miedo de que si fallo este intento sea tan juzgado y odiado.Ninguna de estas hace sentir que mis ojos son borrosos.Pero reddit si estás ahí fuera, si alguien está abajo, estoy pidiendo ayuda por última vez. |
here's my debate for why violent video games reduce violence IRL I'm having a debate competition and the motion is this house believes that violent video games lead to violent acts in young audiences, so o figured this would be of some help against the banvideogames subreddit, (it's not too good rn)
most of the time we commit violent acts because we're angry or frustrated, by commiting violent acts in the game we vent these emotions out in the game instead of in the real world, say for example DOOM(you know the drill we all like BFG division). you might say that video games can culture some really toxic people, but speaking into a mic and speaking to a face are two different things, I have friends that literally gang up on me and ban me from their Minecraft server because they were in a bad mood, the next day I had a few words to say to them and they just stood there and let me run my mouth (I just didn't feel like letting them have their way so I did a thing), that's why I think cyberbullying isn't a problem, if you know how to treat is properly(my own opinion, you guys might know something I don't)
can someone please improve on this and post it elsewhere I'm not a good writer, I just started out the debate🤷 | [] | [
"here's my debate for why violent video games reduce violence IRL I'm having a debate competition and the motion is this house believes that violent video games lead to violent acts in young audiences, so o figured this would be of some help against the banvideogames subreddit, (it's not too good rn)\n\nmost of the time we commit violent acts because we're angry or frustrated, by commiting violent acts in the game we vent these emotions out in the game instead of in the real world, say for example DOOM(you know the drill we all like BFG division).you might say that video games can culture some really toxic people, but speaking into a mic and speaking to a face are two different things, I have friends that literally gang up on me and ban me from their Minecraft server because they were in a bad mood, the next day I had a few words to say to them and they just stood there and let me run my mouth (I just didn't feel like letting them have their wayso I did a thing), that's why I think cyberbullying isn't a problem, if you know how to treat is properly(my own opinion, you guys might know something I don't)\n\n",
"can someone please improve on this and post it elsewhere I'm not a good writer, I just started out the debate🤷"
] | 262 | Aquí está mi debate sobre por qué los videojuegos violentos reducen la violencia IRL Estoy teniendo una competencia de debate y la moción es que esta casa cree que los videojuegos violentos conducen a actos violentos en audiencias jóvenes, así que o pensé que esto sería de alguna ayuda contra el subreddit de banvideojuegos, (no es demasiado bueno rn) la mayoría de las veces que cometemos actos violentos porque estamos enojados o frustrados, al cometer actos violentos en el juego que desahogamos estas emociones en el juego en lugar de en el mundo real, digamos por ejemplo DOOM (usted sabe el simulacro que todos nosotros como división BFG). usted podría decir que los videojuegos pueden cultivar a algunas personas realmente tóxicas, pero hablando en un micrófono y hablando a la cara son dos cosas diferentes, tengo amigos que literalmente se agrupan en mí y me prohíben su servidor Minecraft porque estaban de mal humor, al día siguiente tenía unas pocas palabras que decir a ellos y simplemente se pararon allí y me dejaron correr mi boca (sólo me siento como dejar que tengan sus maneras de hacer una cosa), eso es por lo que creo que el ciberbully no tiene un problema, que usted sabe cómo tratar (no lo sabe cómo tratar) |
just spent an hour translating a song feels good | [] | [
"just spent an hour translating a song feels good"
] | 9 | Sólo pasó una hora traduciendo una canción se siente bien |
Bro it feels so good calling my ex a gf again I've been wanting another chance for about a year now lol
We first got together freshman year | [] | [
"Bro it feels so good calling my ex a gf again I've been wanting another chance for about a year now lol\n\nWe first got together freshman year"
] | 33 | Hermano, se siente tan bien llamar a mi ex un gf otra vez He estado queriendo otra oportunidad por cerca de un año ahora Lol Nos juntamos por primera vez primer año |
effective suicide plan?So I've finally decided to take a turn to find peace.
To be honest my plan isn't well thought out and I'm scared it's going to fail, which means I'll have to face being found out and sent somewhere.
My current plan is to take enough melatonin and sedatives to knock myself out, then go outside in the snow during the night wearing shorts and a t-shirt and sleep there, and hopefully the subzero cold kills me before I wake up in the morning. Would this be effective? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"effective suicide plan?SoI've finally decided to take a turn to find peace.To be honest my plan isn't well thought outand I'm scared it's going to fail, which means I'll have to face being found out and sent somewhere.My current plan is to take enough melatonin and sedatives to knock myself out, then go outside in the snow during the night wearing shorts and a t-shirt and sleep there, and hopefully the subzero cold kills me before I wake up in the morning.Would this be effective?"
] | 120 | Para ser honesto, mi plan no está bien pensado y me temo que va a fallar, lo que significa que tendré que enfrentarme a ser descubierto y enviado a algún lugar.Mi plan actual es tomar suficiente melatonina y sedantes para noquearme, luego salir en la nieve durante la noche usando pantalones cortos y una camiseta y dormir allí, y espero que el frío bajo cero me mate antes de despertarme en la mañana.¿Sería esto efectivo? |
im such an idiot i stuck my hand in a fan | [] | [
"im such an idiot i stuck my hand in a fan"
] | 11 | Soy tan idiota que metí la mano en un ventilador. |
I feel like crying. I don't know where to post this so, I'm posting this here.
I just feel like crying, for no reason. I was just minding my business when, my mom asked me something (that doesn't really matter to me anyway) and, I just... felt like it. I managed to go to my room without anyone noticing and... I'm just seating here now. Trying to get this out of me.
(Sorry if I did any grammatical mistakes) | [] | [
"I feel like crying.I don't know where to post this so, I'm posting this here.I just feel like crying, for no reason.I was just minding my business when, my mom asked me something (that doesn't really matter to me anyway)and, I just... felt like it.I managed to go to my room without anyone noticing and...I'm just seating here now.Trying to get this out of me.(Sorry if I did any grammatical mistakes)"
] | 110 | Tengo ganas de llorar.No sé dónde publicar esto, así que estoy publicando esto aquí.Sólo tengo ganas de llorar, por ninguna razón.Me estaba metiendo en mis asuntos cuando, mi mamá me preguntó algo (que realmente no me importa de todos modos) y, simplemente... me sentí como si fuera.Me las arreglé para ir a mi habitación sin que nadie se diera cuenta y...estoy sentado aquí ahora.Tratando de sacarme esto.(Lo siento si cometía algún error gramatical) |
İ am losing my mind...İ dont know how i can endure this bullshit ...
İam 21 and suffered almost every stage of my life , things are not going on my way , worst thing is everyone hates me even my family too . They think iam a failure.
İam an university student but my grades like an rotten apple on the tree... i have no motivation or energy. And dont have a girlfriend still virgin . Why i should keep up for nothing ?, for more suffer ? or more failure ?
İ just want peace , love and some money...
İ know there is still some hope but i tired keep fighting it is pointless , i hate it i just want some victory . İ am looking for a gun but it is hard to access on my country . İ just dont want hurt anymore... it is enough. İf people interested in motivational videos please watch
(Why we choose suicide Mark Henic) it relaxed me one bit . İ need your prays too | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"İ am losing my mind...İ dont know how i can endure this bullshit ...İam 21 and suffered almost every stage of my life , things are not going on my way , worst thing is everyone hates me even my family too .They think iam a failure.İam an university student but my grades like an rotten apple on the tree...i have no motivation or energy.And dont have a girlfriend still virgin .Why i should keep up for nothing ?, for more suffer ?or more failure ?İ just want peace , love and some money...İ know there is still some hopebut i tired keep fighting it is pointless , i hate iti just want some victory .İ am looking for a gun but it is hard to access on my country .İ just dont want hurt anymore...it is enough.İf people interested in motivational videos please watch\n(Why we choose suicide Mark Henic)it relaxed me one bit .İ need your prays too"
] | 213 | İ estoy perdiendo mi mente...İ no sé cómo puedo soportar esta mierda ...İam 21 y sufrió casi todas las etapas de mi vida , las cosas no van en mi camino , peor cosa es que todo el mundo me odia incluso mi familia también .Piensan que soy un fracaso.İam un estudiante universitario, pero mis notas como una manzana podrida en el árbol...no tengo ninguna motivación o energía.Y no tengo una novia todavía virgen .Por qué debo mantenerme para nada ?, para más sufrir ?o más fracaso ?İ sólo quiero la paz , el amor y algo de dinero...İ saber que todavía hay alguna esperanza, pero me cansé de seguir luchando es inútil , odio que sólo quiero un poco de victoria .İ estoy buscando un arma, pero es difícil de acceder en mi país .İ simplemente no quiero lastimar más...es suficiente. |
Feeling really angry can someone talk?I would appreciate it if I may vent my heart.. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Feeling really angry can someone talk?I would appreciate it if I may vent my heart.."
] | 19 | ¿Sentirme realmente enojado puede alguien hablar?Te agradecería que pudiera ventilar mi corazón.. |
God damn I wish I could be pegged I just wanna be pegged and called a good boy😔
^i’m ^to ^horny ^for ^my ^own ^good | [] | [
"God damn I wish I could be pegged I just wanna be pegged and called a good boy😔\n\n^i’m ^to ^horny ^for ^my ^own ^good"
] | 45 | Maldita sea, me gustaría que me pudieran vincular sólo quiero ser vinculado y llamado un buen chico ^i'm ^to ^horny ^for ^mi ^own ^good |
my boyfriend is getting his wisdom teeth removed today so i wanted to make a cute post just raving about him and hopes he sees it but i doubt he will :) Well, he's asleep right now cause he hasn't replied to my messages but he deserves the rest, he'll be sleepy all day.
Anyway...
He's so amazing. I love him so much, our 4 year anniversary is coming up on February 14. I got him his gift and it's currently in transit. I just wanted to say he's literally the most amazing thing to ever happen to me, I wouldn't be the person I am today without him. I... live in an extremely toxic home, and I hate it, I'm not allowed to date but I don't care, I fell in love with someone, and we've been together almost 4 years now. He's so amazing...He's so kind, and charming, and passionate, and loving, and willing, and handsome and cute and literally any positive thing you can think of. He has no flaws. He's so perfect in my eyes. He's been there for me when literally no-one else has. I couldn't be more thankful. I am so lucky, that everyday I get to call this wonderful human mine, and I get to call him cute everyday. Things have been hard with covid, we've been apart 315 days, which is, to most LDR's silly, but he's my only friend. I...am a pretty lonely person, but that's alright. I have about 2 other close friends and that's all I really need. He's literally my best friend. He's been with me through everything. Like I said, I have a toxic home-life, my father is a POS and my mother...she isn't much better. Before him, I knew there was something mentally wrong with me, and to this day my parents still don't really believe I have an anxiety disorder and I quite possibly could be depressed. (not being dramatic it's rough.) He is also my first, well everything just about. This is the first real-real relationship I've been in, he was my first kiss, my first slow-dance, my first everything. He's so timid and gentle and knows exactly how I'm feeling even if I don't tell him initially. He tells me he's proud of me, and the first time he told me that, I broke down into tears. No one has ever ever told me they were proud of me, he sees the smallest steps I take and he recognizing me for them. I've been working my hardest on not apologizing so often and getting a grasp on my anxiety. I know to some now, it's so silly to think that you're first relationship is the one you're gonna marry. But I so truly believe he'll be the one I marry, I want to get married to him, I want to have a life with him. These past 4 years, I haven't felt sad, like "unneeded" sad, of course I have days, but he's literally lit my life up. I wrote a poem about/for him last year and in the poem, I talk about how he re-lit my "spark". My spark is well myself, my personality, my happiness, my passions my all of it. I don't think I could ever begin to repay him. With everything he's done...I'm overjoyed. And I tell him all of this everyday and he takes it with such modesty, or "I know I'm all these things, but so are you" He knows me, he knows who I am, he's the first person to ever willfully get to know who I am, and to love every, single, inch of me, even the parts I can't love right now.
​
I think I'll stop there for now, I could novels upon novels about my love for him, but I think now is a good time to stop. I'm currently working on a song for him, It's been a really long writing process but I think it's coming along well. Anyway, thanks for reading that whole long winded thing, :) | [] | [
"my boyfriend is getting his wisdom teeth removed todayso i wanted to make a cute post just raving about him and hopes he sees itbut i doubt he will :)Well, he's asleep right now cause he hasn't replied to my messagesbut he deserves the rest, he'll be sleepy all day.Anyway...He's so amazing.I love him so much, our 4 year anniversary is coming up on February 14.I got him his gift and it's currently in transit.I just wanted to say he's literally the most amazing thing to ever happen to me, I wouldn't be the person I am today without him.I... live in an extremely toxic home, and I hate it, I'm not allowed to date but I don't care, I fell in love with someone, and we've been together almost 4 years now.He's so amazing...He's so kind, and charming, and passionate, and loving, and willing, and handsome and cute and literally any positive thing you can think of.He has no flaws.He's so perfect in my eyes.He's been there for me when literally no-one else has.I couldn't be more thankful.I am so lucky, that everyday I get to call this wonderful human mine, and I get to call him cute everyday.",
"Things have been hard with covid, we've been apart 315 days, which is, to most LDR's silly, but he's my only friend.I...am a pretty lonely person, but that's alright.I have about 2 other close friends and that's all I really need.He's literally my best friend.He's been with me through everything.Like I said, I have a toxic home-life, my father is a POS and my mother...she isn't much better.Before him, I knew there was something mentally wrong with me, and to this day my parents still don't really believe I have an anxiety disorderand I quite possibly could be depressed.(not being dramatic it's rough.)He is also my first, well everything just about.This is the first real-real relationship I've been in, he was my first kiss, my first slow-dance, my first everything.He's so timid and gentle and knows exactly how I'm feeling even if I don't tell him initially.He tells me he's proud of me, and the first time he told me that, I broke down into tears.No one has ever ever told me they were proud of me, he sees the smallest steps I take and he recognizing me for them.I've been working my hardest on not apologizing so often and getting a grasp on my anxiety.",
"I know to some now, it's so silly to think that you're first relationship is the one you're gonna marry.But I so truly believe he'll be the one I marry, I want to get married to him, I want to have a life with him.These past 4 years, I haven't felt sad, like \"unneeded\" sad, of course I have days, but he's literally lit my life up.I wrote a poem about/for him last year and in the poem, I talk about how he re-lit my \"spark\".My spark is well myself, my personality, my happiness, my passions my all of it.I don't think I could ever begin to repay him.With everything he's done...I'm overjoyed.And I tell him all of this everydayand he takes it with such modesty, or \"I know I'm all these things, but so are you\" He knows me, he knows who I am, he's the first person to ever willfully get to know who I am, and to love every, single, inch of me, even the parts I can't love right now.\n\n​\n\nI think I'll stop there for now, I could novels upon novels about my love for him, but I think now is a good time to stop.I'm currently working on a song for him, It's been a really long writing processbut I think it's coming along well.Anyway, thanks for reading that whole long winded thing, :)"
] | 284 | Mi novio se está quitando las muelas de su juicio hoy, así que quería hacer un lindo post desvarío sobre él y espera que lo vea, pero dudo que lo haga :)Bueno, ahora está dormido porque no ha respondido a mis mensajes pero se merece el resto, va a tener sueño todo el día.De todos modos...Él es tan increíble.Yo lo amo tanto, nuestro aniversario de 4 años se acerca el 14 de febrero.Yo le tengo su regalo y actualmente está en tránsito.Yo sólo quería decir que es literalmente la cosa más increíble que me haya pasado, yo no sería la persona que soy hoy sin él.Yo... vivo en una casa extremadamente tóxica, y lo odio, no estoy autorizado a salir, pero no me importa, me enamoré de alguien, y hemos estado juntos casi 4 años ahora.Él es tan increíble...Él es tan amable, encantador y cotidiano, y apasionado, y cariñoso, y amable y literalmente cualquier cosa positiva que puedas pensar. |
Parents be like "dont hang around that frend, frend bad, family gud" Then get played by their own brother._. | [] | [
"Parents be like \"dont hang around that frend, frend bad, family gud\" Then get played by their own brother._."
] | 30 | Los padres son como "no te quedes por ahí con ese frend, frend malo, gad de la familia" Luego son interpretados por su propio hermano._. |
Bro, im deadass crying rn My mom came into my room, and she thought I was sleeping. And as she was leaving she said under her breath "I love you [redacted]" and now I'm cryin.
Im a feckin emotional wreck | [] | [
"Bro, im deadass crying rn My mom came into my room, and she thought I was sleeping.And as she was leaving she said under her breath \"I love you [redacted]\" and now I'm cryin.Im a feckin emotional wreck"
] | 58 | Hermano, mi madre entró en mi habitación, y ella pensó que estaba durmiendo.Y mientras se iba ella dijo bajo su aliento "Te amo [redacta]" y ahora estoy llorando.Soy un maldito desastre emocional. |
Today’s poop story. I was wearing a big shirt.
I went to the latrine to poop.
I pulled my pants down, sat, and pooped.
My shirt caught the poop. | [] | [
"Today’s poop story.I was wearing a big shirt.I went to the latrine to poop.I pulled my pants down, sat, and pooped.My shirt caught the poop."
] | 45 | La historia de caca de hoy. Yo llevaba una camisa grande. Fui a la letrina a hacer caca. Me bajé los pantalones, me senté y hice caca. Mi camisa cogió la caca. |
I am getting pretty closeI just dont see any other option at this point | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I am getting pretty closeI just dont see any other option at this point"
] | 16 | Me estoy acercando. No veo ninguna otra opción en este punto. |
I want to end my lifeI just need to vent I have no one I can tell this to.
I moved back home to my grandmas after a stressful two years of college and a failed relationship due to drug addiction on both parties. We were both insanely depressed, I thought I did the good thing moving back home but everyday still feels worse. I miss him so much it hurts. He just overdosed again two weeks ago and I heard he’s doing better but I’ve decided to go no contact, but I miss him so bad maybe I’ll do minimal contact once he’s feeling better.. I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past, but it’s gone out of control since moving back home. My life has no direction or meaning. All I do is bother everyone. My mind is so hazy that I cannot focus. Getting out of bed is insanely difficult. Going out in public feels like everyone is either scurrying away from me or staring at me, I know it’s my head playing with me man. I feel like a monster and it feels like everyone can see it. It’s hard making friends and I don’t want to bother my friends down here.
I had a decent job paying me 15 an hour but it was insanely stressful, when I moved back home I applied to jobs near me and quickly got one as a front desk agent at a nice hotel paying me 10 dollars an hour. It’s definitely slower paced and cool but the down time is absolutely killing me. My thoughts eat my alive.
I hooked up with an ex two nights ago because I craved being touched but obviously I feel 10x worse. The sex was meaningless he was just ramming my cervix the whole time but I didn’t want to ruin the moment or make him mad by saying it hurt so I just waited for it to end. We smoked after and chatted for a bit. Played some video games and cuddled and fell asleep, well he did but I just stared at the wall for hours. It felt so good to be high again. Yesterday morning at work I was really irritated because my cervix feels insanely sore, I got no sleep, and my emotions are completely out of control. I’m usually sweet but I felt like a ticking time bomb all day.
Housekeepers told me to call my boss so they could print their reports because no managers were there. I told them to call them because I was busy, but they stood behind me for 10 minutes while I took phone calls and did my paperwork because they’re english is bad and they wanted me to do it... they were communicating with me just fine. So I snapped and said “what do you want me to do?! Did y’all call them like i told you?” they said they called the gm and my boss but they didn’t answer their phones and they left a voicemail. So I dialed the sales manager because i knew she was awake because she called me earlier, and she gave me an attitude on the phone and she dates my boss, so he got on the phone and yelled at me not to call her. I said I only called her because him and the other boss didn’t answer their phones, and to never speak to me in that tone again and maybe they shouldn’t tell us to call them whenever they aren’t there if we need help if they don’t want to help. So what’s the point in their numbers posted on the bulletin board, I ripped it off and told the housekeepers that I can’t help them and to please go away.
I had so much downtime of just standing there and reading news articles that I opened word and typed how I was feeling. It wasn’t meant to be a suicide note, but I did mention how I wanted to do it. Which is unimportant but if anyone is interested, I want to drive far away listening to music until I’m tired, then I want to drive into a body of water and drown. I don’t know when I’ll do it but I fantasize about it every day I drive home from work. I’m too coward to shoot myself or hang myself. I don’t want my family to find me. If my body is found I want my ashes to be spread in fields of flowers and trees. I thought I closed the word document, but I have ADHD and would lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my body. So I had anxiety all yesterday that I left the document open and my boss who yelled at me called me at 11:55 last night and I’m wondering if that is why. Why else call me at that hour. Maybe I’m overthinking.
So now I’m thinking should I not show up to work? Maybe have a me day? I don’t even know how to have a self care and love day. I’m just too scared to go to work :( I don’t know if anyone would even care to read this. I feel so lost and lonely. If anyone wants to talk, I’d be so happy to... | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I want to end my lifeI just need to vent I have no one I can tell this to.I moved back home to my grandmas after a stressful two years of college and a failed relationship due to drug addiction on both parties.We were both insanely depressed, I thought I did the good thing moving back home but everyday still feels worse.I miss him so much it hurts.He just overdosed again two weeks ago and I heard he’s doing better but I’ve decided to go no contact, but I miss him so badmaybe I’ll do minimal contact once he’s feeling better..I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past, but it’s gone out of control since moving back home.My life has no direction or meaning.All I do is bother everyone.My mind is so hazy that I cannot focus.Getting out of bed is insanely difficult.Going out in public feels like everyone is either scurrying away from me or staring at me, I know it’s my head playing with me man.I feel like a monster and it feels like everyone can see it.It’s hard making friends and I don’t want to bother my friends down here.",
"I had a decent job paying me 15 an hour but it was insanely stressful, when I moved back home I applied to jobs near me and quickly got one as a front desk agent at a nice hotel paying me 10 dollars an hour.It’s definitely slower paced and coolbut the down time is absolutely killing me.My thoughts eat my alive.I hooked up with an ex two nights ago because I craved being touched but obviously I feel 10x worse.The sex was meaningless he was just ramming my cervix the whole time but I didn’t want to ruin the moment or make him mad by saying it hurt so I just waited for it to end.We smoked after and chatted for a bit.Played some video games and cuddled and fell asleep, well he didbut I just stared at the wall for hours.It felt so good to be high again.Yesterday morning at work I was really irritated because my cervix feels insanely sore, I got no sleep, and my emotions are completely out of control.I’m usually sweet but I felt like a ticking time bomb all day.Housekeepers told me to call my boss so they could print their reports because no managers were there.",
"I told them to call them because I was busy, but they stood behind me for 10 minutes while I took phone calls and did my paperwork because they’re english is bad and they wanted me to do it...they were communicating with me just fine.So I snapped and said “what do you want me to do?!Did y’all call them like i told you?”they said they called the gm and my boss but they didn’t answer their phones and they left a voicemail.So I dialed the sales manager because i knew she was awake because she called me earlier, and she gave me an attitude on the phone and she dates my boss, so he got on the phone and yelled at me not to call her.I said I only called her because him and the other boss didn’t answer their phones, and to never speak to me in that tone again and maybe they shouldn’t tell us to call them whenever they aren’t there if we need help if they don’t want to help.So what’s the point in their numbers posted on the bulletin board, I ripped it off and told the housekeepers that I can’t help them and to please go away.I had so much downtime of just standing there and reading news articles that I opened word and typed how I was feeling.",
"It wasn’t meant to be a suicide note, but I did mention how I wanted to do it.Which is unimportant but if anyone is interested, I want to drive far away listening to music until I’m tired, then I want to drive into a body of water and drown.I don’t know when I’ll do itbut I fantasize about it every day I drive home from work.I’m too coward to shoot myself or hang myself.I don’t want my family to find me.If my body is found I want my ashes to be spread in fields of flowers and trees.I thought I closed the word document, but I have ADHD and would lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my body.So I had anxiety all yesterday that I left the document open and my boss who yelled at me called me at 11:55 last night and I’m wondering if that is why.Why else call me at that hour.Maybe I’m overthinking.So now I’m thinking should I not show up to work?Maybe have a me day?I don’t even know how to have a self care and love day.I’m just too scared to go to work :(I don’t know if anyone would even care to read this.I feel so lost and lonely.If anyone wants to talk, I’d be so happy to..."
] | 252 | Quiero terminar mi vida, sólo necesito desahogarme, no tengo a nadie a quien pueda decirle esto.Me mudé de vuelta a casa con mis abuelas después de dos años estresantes de universidad y una relación fallida debido a la adicción a las drogas en ambas partes.Ambos estábamos locamente deprimidos, pensé que hice lo bueno al mudarme de vuelta a casa, pero cada día todavía se siente peor.Lo extraño tanto que duele.Él acaba de tener una sobredosis de nuevo hace dos semanas y escuché que lo está haciendo mejor, pero he decidido no tener contacto, pero lo echo de menos tal vez haga un contacto mínimo una vez que se sienta mejor.He tenido pensamientos suicidas en el pasado, pero se ha ido fuera de control desde el regreso a casa.Mi vida no tiene dirección ni significado.Todo lo que hago es molestar a todos.Mi mente es tan vaga que no puedo concentrarme.Salir de la cama es increíblemente difícil.Salir en público se siente como si todo el mundo estuviera corriendo lejos de mí o mi mente. |
I just found out doing Yoga wrong can lead to harm I was doing it wrong this whole time 😔🙏🏼😔 | [] | [
"I just found out doing Yoga wrong can lead to harm I was doing it wrong this whole time😔🙏🏼😔"
] | 20 | Acabo de enterarme de que hacer el Yoga mal puede llevar al daño que estaba haciendo mal todo este tiempo |
SuicideWhats a better solution to avoid suicide? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"SuicideWhats a better solution to avoid suicide?"
] | 10 | Suicidio¿Cuál es una mejor solución para evitar el suicidio? |
i got a new tat tonight im vry happy w it :DD [here’s a pic](https://imgur.com/a/2ZSDOUK) | [] | [
"i got a new tat tonight im vry happy w it :DD [here’s a pic](https://imgur.com/a/2ZSDOUK)"
] | 38 | Tengo un nuevo tatuaje esta noche im vry feliz w it :DD [aquí hay una foto] (https://imgur.com/a/2ZSDOUK) |
I just want to be freeI don't want to be this depressed drain on everyone around me anymore. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I just want to be freeI don't want to be this depressed drain on everyone around me anymore."
] | 22 | Sólo quiero ser libre. No quiero ser tan deprimido con todo el mundo a mi alrededor. |
To the actual dunce who may or may not have given me Covid-19: Fuck you. Eat shit and die. No amount of words can describe the amount of unbridled anger I feel right now because of your actual fucking *sloth brain*. | [] | [
"To the actual dunce who may or may not have given me Covid-19:Fuck you.Eat shit and die.No amount of words can describe the amount of unbridled anger I feel right now because of your actual fucking *sloth brain*."
] | 57 | Para el dunce real que puede o no me ha dado Covid-19: Vete a la mierda.Come mierda y muere.Ninguna cantidad de palabras puede describir la cantidad de ira desenfrenada que siento ahora mismo debido a su cerebro * de mierda real *. |
if i had a dollar for every time someone on here suggested my posts were the result of drug use i would have enough money to go buy the drugs theyre talkin about i wish i was high people !!!!! but im not !!!! ur just jelly ur brain is boring and mine is sexc and says funny things 👋😏 | [] | [
"if i had a dollar for every time someone on here suggested my posts were the result of drug use i would have enough money to go buy the drugs theyre talkin about i wish i was high people !!!!!but im not !!!!ur just jelly ur brain is boring and mine is sexc and says funny things 👋😏"
] | 68 | Si tuviera un dólar por cada vez que alguien en aquí sugirió que mis posts eran el resultado del uso de drogas tendría suficiente dinero para ir a comprar las drogas que están hablando de que me gustaría ser gente alta !!!!!pero no im !!!!ur sólo gelatina tu cerebro es aburrido y el mío es sexc y dice cosas divertidas |
multiple half assed suicide attempts since elementary schoolnot sure how much i actually intend to say here but i've been suicidal for as long as i can remember, i think my first attempt was around age 7 and suicidal thoughts have been a constant in my life since then, from age 7 to 18 i've tried to kill myself a few times with no success and struggled with self harm in between that, i got close to trying again until i just lost all motivation to even do it and resorted to staring at the floor after realizing i would fuck up like the past few times, i was planning on just going out to a field near my house and jamming a knife into my stomach
probably badly worded but whatever i'm just incredibly frustrated especially after years of being denied help, medical malpractice, and other bullshit pushing me closer and closer to killing myself, all while being kept alive for other people's sake | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"multiple half assed suicide attempts since elementary schoolnot sure how much i actually intend to say herebut i've been suicidal for as long as i can remember, i think my first attempt was around age 7 and suicidal thoughts have been a constant in my life since then, from age 7 to 18 i've tried to kill myself a few times with no success and struggled with self harm in between that, i got close to trying again until i just lost all motivation to even do it and resorted to staring at the floor after realizing i would fuck up like the past few times, i was planning on just going out to a field near my house and jamming a knife into my stomach\n\nprobably badly wordedbut whatever i'm just incredibly frustrated especially after years of being denied help, medical malpractice, and other bullshit pushing me closer and closer to killing myself, all while being kept alive for other people's sake"
] | 188 | múltiples intentos de suicidio medio asado desde la escuela primaria no estoy seguro de lo mucho que tengo la intención de decir aquí, pero he sido suicida durante el tiempo que puedo recordar, creo que mi primer intento fue alrededor de la edad 7 y pensamientos suicidas han sido una constante en mi vida desde entonces, desde los 7 a 18 años he tratado de suicidarme algunas veces sin éxito y luchado con auto daño en medio de eso, me acerqué a intentarlo de nuevo hasta que simplemente perdí toda la motivación para incluso hacerlo y recurrió a mirar al suelo después de darme cuenta de que me jodería como las últimas veces, estaba planeando ir a un campo cerca de mi casa y clavar un cuchillo en mi estómago probablemente mal, pero lo que sea que estoy increíblemente frustrado especialmente después de años de ser negado ayuda, mala praxis médicas, y otras mentiras que me empujan más y más cerca de matarme, todo mientras se mantiene vivo por el bien de otras personas |
I want to make out with Leela in the Planet Express office supply closet What’s Fry going to do about it? | [] | [
"I want to make out with Leela in the Planet Express office supply closet What’s Fry going to do about it?"
] | 26 | Quiero besarme con Leela en el armario de suministros de la oficina de Planet Express ¿Qué va a hacer Fry al respecto? |
My friend asked out his crush and she said,
"you should have waited till April"
she thought it was a joke so she told him he should have waited until April fools
Can I have an F in the chat for my bro haha | [] | [
"My friend asked out his crush and she said,\n\n\"you should have waited till April\"\n\nshe thought it was a joke so she told him he should have waited until April foolsCan I have an F in the chat for my bro haha"
] | 49 | Mi amiga le preguntó por su amor y ella dijo, "deberías haber esperado hasta abril" ella pensó que era una broma así que ella le dijo que debería haber esperado hasta los tontos de abril ¿Puedo tener una F en la charla para mi hermano jaja |
I saw my uncles dick one night I went to take a shit in the middle of the night. I went to the bathroom, half asleep, only to see my uncle taking a massive shit. I saw his balls and everything. I wasn’t the same ever since | [] | [
"I saw my uncles dick one night I went to take a shit in the middle of the night.I went to the bathroom, half asleep, only to see my uncle taking a massive shit.I saw his balls and everything.I wasn’t the same ever since"
] | 55 | Vi la polla de mis tíos una noche fui a cagar en medio de la noche. Fui al baño, medio dormido, sólo para ver a mi tío tomando una mierda enorme. Vi sus bolas y todo. No era el mismo desde entonces. |
lmaolmabsjdbbsjxbwnxhhdjsshdcmwbdjjf jrhdsndhdjsbshhdnsnsnsnsndndjejekskk | [] | [
"lmaolmabsjdbbsjxbwnxhhdjsshdcmwbdjjf jrhdsndhdjsbshhdnsnsnsnsndndjejekskk"
] | 54 | lmaolmabsjdbbsjxbwnxhhdjsshdcmwbdjjf jrhdsndhdjsbshdnsnsnsndndjekskk |
I just don’t even know anymoreThis is the first time Ive felt this way since I started antidepressants but I think this is the last straw. I’ve been sitting here at rock bottom for a while now people tell me to keep going and I’ve tried but things just haven’t really gotten better. I haven’t even found something that I like doing and am good at and I put a lot of false hope into many things and am just disappointed in the end. I don’t even think I know myself anymore and at this point I’m really considering suicide. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I just don’t even know anymoreThis is the first time Ive felt this way since I started antidepressantsbut I think this is the last straw.I’ve been sitting here at rock bottom for a while now people tell me to keep going and I’ve tried but things just haven’t really gotten better.I haven’t even found something that I like doing and am good atand I put a lot of false hope into many things and am just disappointed in the end.I don’t even think I know myself anymore and at this point I’m really considering suicide."
] | 122 | No lo sé.Esta es la primera vez que me he sentido de esta manera desde que empecé los antidepresivos, pero creo que esta es la última gota.He estado sentado aquí en el fondo de la roca por un tiempo ahora la gente me dice que siga y lo he intentado, pero las cosas no han mejorado realmente.Ni siquiera he encontrado algo que me gusta hacer y soy bueno y puse un montón de falsas esperanzas en muchas cosas y estoy decepcionado al final.Ni siquiera creo que me conozco a mí mismo ya y en este punto estoy realmente considerando el suicidio. |
i have no reason to live anymoremy online friends don’t talk to me anymore so everyday is a bore might as well kill myself | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"i have no reason to live anymoremy online friends don’t talk to me anymore so everyday is a bore might as well kill myself"
] | 27 | No tengo ninguna razón para vivir más mis amigos en línea no me hablan más así que todos los días es un aburrimiento podría también matarme |
Planning to kill myself at 29hey guys
let me start by a brief intro
im 14 and live in canada. i have shitty fucking parents and i have no life
my life is a repetition of study 24/7 then piano 24/7 and secretly game 24/7 (yes im asian, korean to be exact), swim 24/7 and read boring ass classic books 24/7
so my teenage years are looking like theyre gonna get fucked and i dont think i can handle me getting old as well
so i thought of this brilliant idea that if i dont want to get old, ill just kill myself
before all this, i always thought that death was interesting. i read a lot of articles about death and read philosophical korean manga about death.
im curious to what happens to 'me' after death.
i dont think this curiosity and this low key depression will go away
so ill just enjoy my life till late 20s then just kill myself.
any1 with me or have any opinions?
I just wanna talk to people | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Planning to kill myself at 29hey guys\n\nlet me start by a brief intro\n\nim 14 and live in canada.i have shitty fucking parents and i have no life\n\nmy life is a repetition of study 24/7 then piano 24/7 and secretly game 24/7 (yes im asian, korean to be exact), swim 24/7 and read boring ass classic books 24/7\n\nso my teenage years are looking like theyre gonna get fucked and i dont think i can handle me getting old as wellso i thought of this brilliant idea that if i dont want to get old, ill just kill myself\n\nbefore all this, i always thought that death was interesting.i read a lot of articles about death and read philosophical korean manga about death.im curious to what happens to 'me' after death.i dont think this curiosity and this low key depression will go away\n\nso ill just enjoy my life till late 20s then just kill myself.any1 with me or have any opinions?I just wanna talk to people"
] | 207 | Planeo matarme en 29hey chicos me dejan empezar por una breve introducción im 14 y vivir en Canadá.Tengo padres de mierda y no tengo vida mi vida es una repetición de estudio 24/7 entonces piano 24/7 y juego en secreto 24/7 (sí im asiático, coreano para ser exacto), nadar 24/7 y leer aburridos libros clásicos culo 24/7 así que mis años adolescentes se ven como si fueran a follar y no creo que pueda manejarme envejeciendo así que pensé en esta brillante idea de que si no quiero envejecer, enfermo simplemente me mato antes de todo esto, siempre pensé que la muerte era interesante.Leí muchos artículos sobre la muerte y leí un manga filosófico coreano sobre la muerte.im curioso a lo que me pasa después de la muerte. no creo que esta curiosidad y esta depresión de baja clave se vayan tan mal disfrutar de mi vida hasta finales de los 20s sólo me mata a mí mismo. |
I’m fucking I’m fucking I’m fucking LET ME DRINK ALL YOUR BLOOD YUM YUM
LET ME DRINK ALL YOUR BLOOD YUM YUM
LET ME DRINK ALL YOUR BLOOD YUM YUM | [] | [
"I’m fucking I’m fucking I’m fucking LET ME DRINK ALL YOUR BLOOD YUM YUM\n\nLET ME DRINK ALL YOUR BLOODYUM YUM\n\nLET ME DRINK ALL YOUR BLOOD YUM YUM"
] | 54 | # Déjame beber todo tu yum de sangre # # Déjame beber todo tu yum de sangre # # Déjame beber todo tu yum de sangre # # Déjame beber todo tu yum de sangre # |
I missed my own warning signs.I somehow didn't notice the not even first time descent into depression. I know myself and my behaviors but I did put anything together until I was at the bottom of the pit and drowning. I feel like my own feelings are fake because they don't make sense and I don't know what to do. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I missed my own warning signs.I somehow didn't notice the not even first time descent into depression.I know myself and my behaviors but I did put anything together until I was at the bottom of the pit and drowning.I feel like my own feelings are fake because they don't make sense and I don't know what to do."
] | 72 | Me perdí mis propias señales de advertencia.De alguna manera no me di cuenta de que ni siquiera la primera vez bajaba a la depresión.Me conozco a mí mismo y a mis comportamientos, pero no puse nada hasta que estuve en el fondo del pozo y me ahogué.Siento que mis propios sentimientos son falsos porque no tienen sentido y no sé qué hacer. |
It's my 19th birthday today... I don't know if I should be happy that I'm officially a 19-year old and Pewds can be proud of me....
....Or I should sad cause this is my last year on this subreddit...
Help | [] | [
"It's my 19th birthday today...I don't know if I should be happy that I'm officially a 19-year old and Pewds can be proud of me....\n\n....Or I should sad cause this is my last year on this subreddit...Help"
] | 61 | Es mi 19 cumpleaños hoy...No sé si debería estar feliz de que soy oficialmente un 19-años de edad y Pewds puede estar orgulloso de mí.... ....O debería triste porque este es mi último año en este subreddit ...Ayuda |
Am I in the wrong? I have to share a room with my older brother. He always kicks me out of my own room so then I have to spend every moment with my sister who is 4 years younger then me. I have to constantly be with her, and do whatever she wants, I even have to sleep on the floor in her room. My brother was gone tonight so I just wanted to spend the night by myself playing video games. So I tell my sister I’ll sit with you until you fall asleep. She starts saying I want to sleep in your room and I say no. Then my mom starts screaming at me that I’m terrible for making her feel bad. Am I in the wrong? | [] | [
"Am I in the wrong?I have to share a room with my older brother.He always kicks me out of my own room so then I have to spend every moment with my sister who is 4 years younger then me.I have to constantly be with her, and do whatever she wants, I even have to sleep on the floor in her room.My brother was gone tonightso I just wanted to spend the night by myself playing video games.So I tell my sister I’ll sit with you until you fall asleep.She starts saying I want to sleep in your roomand I say no.Then my mom starts screaming at me that I’m terrible for making her feel bad.Am I in the wrong?"
] | 146 | ¿Estoy en el mal?Tengo que compartir una habitación con mi hermano mayor.Siempre me echa de mi propia habitación así que luego tengo que pasar cada momento con mi hermana que es 4 años más joven que yo.Tengo que estar con ella constantemente, y hacer lo que quiera, incluso tengo que dormir en el suelo en su habitación.Mi hermano se había ido esta noche así que sólo quería pasar la noche yo mismo jugando videojuegos.Así que le digo a mi hermana que me sentaré contigo hasta que te duermas.Ella empieza a decir que quiero dormir en tu habitación y digo que no.Entonces mi mamá comienza a gritarme que soy terrible por hacerla sentir mal. |
I passed my driver's permit test today So yeah I can kinda drive so that's pretty cool | [] | [
"I passed my driver's permit test todaySoyeah I can kinda drive so that's pretty cool"
] | 22 | Hoy he pasado la prueba de permiso de conducir, así que eso es genial. |
I feel like I'm at my end.I want to kill myself so fucking badly. I talked to someone who had countless attempts and apparently it's harder than I originally thought. Great, just great. I can't kill myself and it's irritating. I just want to leave. Just let me leave, *please* | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I feel like I'm at my end.I want to kill myself so fucking badly.I talked to someone who had countless attempts and apparently it's harder than I originally thought.Great, just great.I can't kill myself and it's irritating.I just want to leave.Just let me leave, *please*"
] | 72 | Me siento como si estuviera en mi final.Quiero matarme tan jodidamente mal.He hablado con alguien que tuvo innumerables intentos y aparentemente es más difícil de lo que pensé originalmente.Genial, simplemente genial.No puedo suicidarme y es irritante.Solo quiero irme.Solo déjame irme, *por favor* |
How to be happy!: a tutorial 1. | [] | [
"How to be happy!: a tutorial 1."
] | 9 | ¡Cómo ser feliz!: un tutorial 1. |
Just When I Think I'm In The Clear...I was so sure I was over this. But, goodness, this new bout I slammed into is, by far, the worst I've felt in a long time. I understand we're all trapped in our own heads, but I've never felt so tethered down like I have by this awful, sickly feeling that has been plaguing my thinking nonstop the past five days. I know, I know, nobody should get so upset as to contemplate suicide over a girl or guy not taking an interest in them - but dang, I'm not one to feel so strongly about a potential relationship often. At all. So when I do, and I know I'm not doing well, it feels like I'm missing an incredibly important game changer for my life. Yet, here I am again. Plastering this girl with my anxieties as I try to approach her about anything. And this one going wrong is just another lump. Another screw up in a long line of nothing but screw ups for me. Another nail in the coffin, as it were.
And it's not fair to her or anyone else who is subjected to my behavior. I feel like I was just settling into great work relationships with these people at my new job, and then I go out and get drunk with them a few times and tell them all about this girl and my anxieties. And yesterday at work when I tried to joke and talk to the girl...holy crap, I'm an idiot. And a creep. Then there is this other girl I really respect who is roughly the same age my sister would be had she not died years ago, and, during one of our drunken conversations, she told me how I was like "a little brother" to her. Of course, this makes my heart swell with pure joy, but then I wonder how creepy does that make me? I'm just a weirdo who pushes away people who genuinely try to care about me by getting too clingy. The past two nights, I'd go out drinking and just tell myself (aloud unfortunately) how it would be best for me to just get this whole load of crap over with. It upsets my friends who were drinking with me. They genuinely do care, but I can tell this attitude I have is weighing on them lately too. Who can blame them? It's terrible. And the more I think about it, the worse I get. And the worse I get, the more I think about it. My descent into pure, unadulterated, 100% self hatred is nearly complete. All of this boils down to one question - "Am I ever gonna be good enough?" It just doesn't seem like the case. Anytime I get a good opportunity thrown my way, I don't know how to handle it. I've failed to adapt to society and the world.
Some people are still crazy enough to care about me for some reason though - probably mostly thanks to biology, but I've been slowly pushing away my family in addition to my friends and coworkers. This is nobody's fault but mine, I know that. I just don't want to hurt anyone. I'd rather not put my parents through losing another child. But, once I've got a safe enough distance between my family and me, I may genuinely consider checking out. It's definitely become a legitimate, daily consideration again. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Just When I Think I'm In The Clear...I was so sure I was over this.But, goodness, this new bout I slammed into is, by far, the worst I've felt in a long time.I understand we're all trapped in our own heads, but I've never felt so tethered down like I have by this awful, sickly feeling that has been plaguing my thinking nonstop the past five days.I know, I know, nobody should get so upset as to contemplate suicide over a girl or guy not taking an interest in them - but dang, I'm not one to feel so strongly about a potential relationship often.At all.So when I do, and I know I'm not doing well, it feels like I'm missing an incredibly important game changer for my life.Yet, here I am again.Plastering this girl with my anxieties as I try to approach her about anything.And this one going wrong is just another lump.Another screw up in a long line of nothing but screw ups for me.Another nail in the coffin, as it were.And it's not fair to her or anyone else who is subjected to my behavior.I feel like I was just settling into great work relationships with these people at my new job, and then I go out and get drunk with them a few times and tell them all about this girl and my anxieties.",
"And yesterday at work when I tried to joke and talk to the girl...holy crap, I'm an idiot.And a creep.Then there is this other girl I really respect who is roughly the same age my sister would be had she not died years ago, and, during one of our drunken conversations, she told me how I was like \"a little brother\" to her.Of course, this makes my heart swell with pure joy, but then I wonder how creepy does that make me?I'm just a weirdo who pushes away people who genuinely try to care about me by getting too clingy.The past two nights, I'd go out drinking and just tell myself (aloud unfortunately) how it would be best for me to just get this whole load of crap over with.It upsets my friends who were drinking with me.They genuinely do care, but I can tell this attitude I have is weighing on them lately too.Who can blame them?It's terrible.And the more I think about it, the worse I get.And the worse I get, the more I think about it.My descent into pure, unadulterated, 100% self hatred is nearly complete.All of this boils down to one question - \"Am I ever gonna be good enough?\"It just doesn't seem like the case.",
"Anytime I get a good opportunity thrown my way, I don't know how to handle it.I've failed to adapt to society and the world.Some people are still crazy enough to care about me for some reason though - probably mostly thanks to biology, but I've been slowly pushing away my family in addition to my friends and coworkers.This is nobody's fault but mine, I know that.I just don't want to hurt anyone.I'd rather not put my parents through losing another child.But, once I've got a safe enough distance between my family and me, I may genuinely consider checking out.It's definitely become a legitimate, daily consideration again."
] | 307 | Sólo cuando pienso que estoy en el claro... estaba tan seguro de que estaba sobre esto.Pero, por Dios, este nuevo ataque en el que me he metido es, con mucho, lo peor que he sentido en mucho tiempo.Entiendo que todos estamos atrapados en nuestras propias cabezas, pero nunca me he sentido tan atado como lo he sentido por esta horrible y enfermiza sensación que ha estado afligiendo mi pensamiento sin parar los últimos cinco días.Sé, sé que nadie debería molestarse tanto como para contemplar el suicidio por una chica o un chico que no se interese en ellos - pero, por cierto, no soy uno para sentir tan fuertemente acerca de una relación potencial a menudo.En absoluto.Así que cuando lo hago, y sé que no lo estoy haciendo bien, siento que me estoy perdiendo un cambio de juego increíblemente importante para mi vida.Sin embargo, aquí estoy de nuevo.Placer a esta chica con mis ansiedades como si tratara de acercarme a cualquier cosa.Y esta chica va mal. |
I'm tired of convincing myself that i want to be alive every day. if I have to do this every day for the rest of my life, then i'd like to just stop.suggestions? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm tired of convincing myself that i want to be alive every day.if I have to do this every day for the rest of my life, then i'd like to just stop.suggestions?"
] | 45 | Estoy cansado de convencerme a mí mismo de que quiero estar vivo todos los días.Si tengo que hacer esto todos los días por el resto de mi vida, entonces me gustaría parar.sugerencias? |
Do you guys notice how some commercials and shows increased their black cast/presence? Do you notice the increase of black people in commercials and television?
Just a disclaimer, I am African American. I’m sharing an observation and this isn’t an invitation for a racist discussion.
2020 was a wild year when it came to racial injustice. All of these protests and demands for change made me very happy and proud.
Obviously, companies see these protests and come out in support and that’s fine. But some shows and commercials seems like pandering rather than a genuine desire to increase diversity.
I was watching a paper tower commercial and it was a black animated family. I see a lot of new shows adding a number of black people to their cast. I see Harvard pledging to admit more black students. And many other commercials that you wouldn’t usually see a black face on.
This is all great until you realize that a lot of these companies only do this amid a protest that pertains to race. I’ve never seen this rush for diversity when instances are “normal” (normal meaning not a huge public outcry for racial reform).
Maybe I’m reading too far into it but it’s just what I noticed on television. Companies putting a black face as the star of their commercial and calling it progress. It’s upsetting and these companies should have a genuine desire to push for diversity rather than pushing for it when it’s convenient to show that you support an agenda. | [] | [
"Do you guys notice how some commercials and shows increased their black cast/presence?Do you notice the increase of black people in commercials and television?Just a disclaimer, I am African American.I’m sharing an observation and this isn’t an invitation for a racist discussion.2020 was a wild year when it came to racial injustice.All of these protests and demands for change made me very happy and proud.Obviously, companies see these protests and come out in support and that’s fine.But some shows and commercials seems like pandering rather than a genuine desire to increase diversity.I was watching a paper tower commercial and it was a black animated family.I see a lot of new shows adding a number of black people to their cast.I see Harvard pledging to admit more black students.And many other commercials that you wouldn’t usually see a black face on.This is all great until you realize that a lot of these companies only do this amid a protest that pertains to race.I’ve never seen this rush for diversity when instances are “normal” (normal meaning not a huge public outcry for racial reform).Maybe I’m reading too far into itbut it’s just what I noticed on television.",
"Companies putting a black face as the star of their commercial and calling it progress.It’s upsetting and these companies should have a genuine desire to push for diversity rather than pushing for it when it’s convenient to show that you support an agenda."
] | 263 | ¿Se dan cuenta de que algunos comerciales y espectáculos han aumentado su elenco/presencia negra? ¿Se dan cuenta del aumento de la gente negra en los comerciales y la televisión?Sólo un descargo, soy afroamericano.Comparto una observación y esto no es una invitación para una discusión racista.2020 fue un año salvaje cuando se trataba de injusticia racial.Todas estas protestas y demandas de cambio me hicieron muy feliz y orgulloso.Obviamente, las empresas ven estas protestas y salen en apoyo y eso está bien.Pero algunos espectáculos y comerciales parecen ser más propensos que un deseo genuino de aumentar la diversidad.Estaba viendo un comercial de torres de papel y era una familia animada negra.Veo muchos nuevos espectáculos que añaden un número de negros a su elenco.Veo que Harvard se compromete a admitir más estudiantes negros.Y muchos otros anuncios que normalmente no verían una cara negra.Esto es genial hasta que te des cuenta de que muchas de estas compañías solo hacen esto en medio de una protesta que se refiere a la raza.Nunca he visto esta prisa por la diversidad cuando los casos son “normales” (no significan una enorme crítica pública por la reforma racial). |
I have a weird question Hmmmmm… how do I shave my butt hole/ass crack? | [] | [
"I have a weird question Hmmmmm… how do I shave my butt hole/ass crack?"
] | 21 | Tengo una pregunta rara Hmmmmm... ¿cómo me afeito el culo con crack? |
I really have no way outI just can't keep living this life. I want it to end but there are too many reasons that make me need to stay here. I can't live a day without feeling remorse towards my parents, who see their son like that, same with my little brother and sister, i don't want them to be traumatized and become depressive themselves because of me killing myself. I have one precious friend, a girl that really does everything to help me, and it makes me sad to know that it will hurt her at the end. My faith in God is telling me to keep going but it's been a lifetime that i've been doing it, and i think i've reached my limit. I can't feel any form of happiness or enjoyment that make me forget about my problems, i also feel guilty about all of this, that i live an easy life, in a peaceful country, that i have something to eat and to dress with, a roof to go under but with everything life granted me i still can't appreciate it. I feel like shit. It's litterally impossible for me to kill myself because of everything i said, my life doesn't only have an impact on myself so i'm trapped in this life and it's going to be like that until i die. Sorry for the long text and my approximative english | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I really have no way outI just can't keep living this life.I want it to end but there are too many reasons that make me need to stay here.I can't live a day without feeling remorse towards my parents, who see their son like that, same with my little brother and sister, i don't want them to be traumatized and become depressive themselves because of me killing myself.I have one precious friend, a girl that really does everything to help me, and it makes me sad to know that it will hurt her at the end.My faith in God is telling me to keep going but it's been a lifetime that i've been doing it, and i think i've reached my limit.I can't feel any form of happiness or enjoyment that make me forget about my problems, i also feel guilty about all of this, that i live an easy life, in a peaceful country, that i have something to eat and to dress with, a roof to go under but with everything life granted me i still can't appreciate it.I feel like shit.It's litterally impossible for me to kill myself because of everything i said, my life doesn't only have an impact on myselfso i'm trapped in this life and it's going to be like that until i die.",
"Sorry for the long text and my approximative english"
] | 276 | Realmente no tengo salida.No puedo vivir un día sin sentir remordimiento hacia mis padres, que ven a su hijo así, igual que con mi hermanito y hermana, no quiero que estén traumatizados y se vuelvan depresivos por haberme matado a mí mismo.Tengo una preciosa amiga, una chica que realmente hace todo para ayudarme, y me entristece saber que le hará daño al final.Mi fe en Dios me está diciendo que siga adelante, pero ha sido una vida que lo he estado haciendo, y creo que he llegado a mi límite.No puedo sentir ninguna forma de felicidad o disfrute que me haga olvidar mis problemas, también me siento culpable por todo esto, que vivo una vida fácil, en un país pacífico, que tengo algo que comer y vestirme, un techo con el que solo tengo que ir, pero con todo lo que la vida me ha concedido, todavía no puedo apreciarlo.Me siento como una mierda. |
how old are your parents/grandparents holy fuck most of your elders are old as hell, my parents are 38 and my grandparents are in their early to late 50s | [] | [
"how old are your parents/grandparents holy fuck most of your elders are old as hell, my parents are 38 and my grandparents are in their early to late 50s"
] | 35 | ¿Cuántos años tienen tus padres / abuelos santa mierda la mayoría de tus ancianos son viejos como el infierno, mis padres tienen 38 y mis abuelos están en sus principios a finales de los años 50 |
I need inputLast time I am asking for help. I don't want to be told anything else.
Is there ANY apps or programs that will trigger a phone call and said time that's reliable.
I'm planning suicide by partial hanging however I want to be a organ donner. Ambulance response time is less than 3 minutes upon 911 getting a notification. I need 15 minutes... I want adequate time for my organs to be harvested at the very least but I need suffient time where my brain won't be getting oxygen and or blood for at least 15 minutes. (At least by then I will be brain dead).
And also I can't have a person call 911 because:
A) You could notify 911 earlier thus causing my plan to fall apart.
B) You would be the subject to a criminal investigation relating to my death. So it has to be automated call or program/software.
| [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I need inputLast time I am asking for help.I don't want to be told anything else.Is there ANY apps or programs that will trigger a phone call and said time that's reliable.I'm planning suicide by partial hanging however I want to be a organ donner.Ambulance response time is less than 3 minutes upon 911 getting a notification.I need 15 minutes...I want adequate time for my organs to be harvested at the very least but I need suffient time where my brain won't be getting oxygen and or blood for at least 15 minutes.(At least by then I will be brain dead).And also I can't have a person call 911 because:\nA)You could notify 911 earlier thus causing my plan to fall apart.B)You would be the subject to a criminal investigation relating to my death.So it has to be automated call or program/software."
] | 188 | Necesito informaciónLa última vez estoy pidiendo ayuda.No quiero que me digan nada más.Hay aplicaciones o programas que desencadenarán una llamada telefónica y dijeron que es confiable.Estoy planeando suicidarme por ahorcamiento parcial sin embargo quiero ser un donner de órganos.El tiempo de respuesta a la ambulancia es de menos de 3 minutos después de que el 911 reciba una notificación.Necesito 15 minutos...quiero tiempo adecuado para que mis órganos sean cosechados al menos pero necesito tiempo suficiente donde mi cerebro no reciba oxígeno ni sangre durante al menos 15 minutos.(Al menos para entonces estaré muerto en el cerebro).Y también no puedo tener una persona que llame al 911 porque: A) Podrías notificar al 911 antes causando que mi plan se desmonte.B)Tú serías el sujeto de una investigación criminal relacionada con mi muerte.Así que tiene que ser una llamada automática o programa/software. |
Any other 14 yos lookin for fun? ;D Add my sc: retromcgaming or dm me 😝❤😘 | [] | [
"Any other 14 yos lookin for fun? ;DAdd my sc: retromcgaming or dm me 😝❤😘"
] | 29 | Cualquier otro 14 yos buscando para la diversión? ;DAñadir mi sc: retromcgaming o dm me |
17 years ago today, cries started to flood a single ward deep in the depths of a hospital. A legend came into this world. That legend is me. Yes I'm brave enough to admit that I am awesome and love myself entirely. I've eaten healthy and excercised vigorously throughout this hell of a year, not to forget brushing up my academics. I've also saved up for a new pair of socks. I'm so proud of myself. Can any of you rich redditors give me an award of any kind, please? The cheapest will even do because that would make my entire day infinitely more exciting!
Award givers will be highly commended through dm's. | [] | [
"17 years ago today, cries started to flood a single ward deep in the depths of a hospital.A legend came into this world.That legend is me.Yes I'm brave enough to admit that I am awesome and love myself entirely.I've eaten healthy and excercised vigorously throughout this hell of a year, not to forget brushing up my academics.I've also saved up for a new pair of socks.I'm so proud of myself.Can any of you rich redditors give me an award of any kind, please?The cheapest will even do because that would make my entire day infinitely more exciting!Award givers will be highly commended through dm's."
] | 145 | Hace 17 años hoy, los gritos empezaron a inundar una sola sala en las profundidades de un hospital.Una leyenda vino a este mundo.Esa leyenda soy yo.Sí, soy lo suficientemente valiente para admitir que soy impresionante y me amo por completo.He comido sano y excercizado vigorosamente durante este infierno de un año, no para olvidarme de cepillar mis académicos.También he ahorrado para un nuevo par de calcetines.Estoy tan orgulloso de mí mismo.¿Alguno de ustedes redditores ricos me dan un premio de cualquier tipo, por favor?Lo más barato incluso hará porque eso haría que todo mi día sea infinitamente más emocionante! |
Is there a cure for intense boredom? Other LSD, video games or pornography? | [] | [
"Is there a cure for intense boredom?Other LSD, video games or pornography?"
] | 19 | ¿Existe una cura para el aburrimiento intenso?¿Otros LSD, videojuegos o pornografía? |
12 Reasons To Kill Myself1) I have just failed my class and extremely upset
2) I'm transgender and can't live with this anymore (hardest one)
3) I have social anxiety
4) I have obsessive compulsive disorder
5) I'm always depressed
6) I'm not healthy at all
7) I hate my family
8) I don't have any friends
9) I have no talent or purpose in life
10) I've never done anything important in my life. I've always failed.
11) Society won't accept my existence and will always keep making fun of me.
12) World is bullshit. There is always violence, terror, blood and death. It's not worth living.
Should I do it ? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"12 Reasons To Kill Myself1)I have just failed my class and extremely upset\n2) I'm transgender and can't live with this anymore (hardest one)\n3) I have social anxiety\n4) I have obsessive compulsive disorder\n5)I'm always depressed\n6) I'm not healthy at all\n7) I hate my family8)I don't have any friends\n9) I have no talent or purpose in life\n10) I've never done anything important in my life.I've always failed.11)Society won't accept my existence and will always keep making fun of me.\n12)World is bullshit.There is always violence, terror, blood and death.It's not worth living.Should I do it ?"
] | 157 | 12 Razones para suicidarme1) Acabo de fallar en mi clase y estoy extremadamente molesto 2) Soy transgénero y ya no puedo vivir con esto (el más duro) 3) Tengo ansiedad social 4) Tengo trastorno obsesivo compulsivo 5) Siempre estoy deprimido 6) No estoy sano en absoluto 7) Odio a mi familia8) No tengo amigos 9) No tengo talento ni propósito en la vida 10) Nunca he hecho nada importante en mi vida.Siempre he fallado.11)La sociedad no aceptará mi existencia y siempre seguirá burlándome de mí. 12)El mundo es una mierda.Siempre hay violencia, terror, sangre y muerte. |
I want to Fucking blow my brains outIt’s a disservice to my real self to keep trying to live at this point. In all honesty the reason I hang on is to keep myself in some sort of torture chamber. Just let me out of this piss test called life. It’s solitary confinement | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I want to Fucking blow my brains outIt’s a disservice to my real self to keep trying to live at this point.In all honesty the reason I hang on is to keep myself in some sort of torture chamber.Just let me out of this piss test called life.It’s solitary confinement"
] | 62 | Quiero volarme los sesos de una puta vezEs un flaco favor para mi ser real seguir tratando de vivir en este punto.Con toda honestidad, la razón por la que me aferro es para mantenerme en una especie de cámara de tortura.Sólo déjame salir de esta prueba de orina llamada vida.Es confinamiento solitario. |
Does anyone else feel like they were neglected by their parents just because you were never a problem child? I know this isn't really a thing to complain about, but i've always wondered if anyone else felt the same
I wa thirdborn in my family and homeschooled for the first 10 years. My mother had to school my rwo older brothers before I came into the world and this whittled down my mothers patience. By the time I was needing to be schooled, my mother was already busy enough with my other brothers that she didn't have the capacity to give me very much attention.
By the time I was able to read well on my own, my mother would just plop a textbook down in front of me and I would go ahead and study on my own. I learned rather quickly that my mother had little patience when I asked for help twice in a row, or took too long to figure out easy stuff. Yelling and occasionally beatings would follow so I stopped asking for help altogether.
From that point on, almost everything I did was on my own. I would start to fear help itself so I would kick my rear into overdrive and focus the hell out of my times tables or whatever it was that I was studying just to avoid help altogether.
It wasn't just with studying. I was for some strange reason really sensetive to yelling and I would prefer a beating rather than a scold on pretty much every occasion. Because of this, I learned cery quickly how to be a good boy in the house, not making any trouble whatsoever. Never causing problems and never having any that I had to ask assistance with.
I had fun by myself in those times. Jigsaw puzzles and puzzle books and jacks and whatever other 1 player games I could find, I played them. Keeping all the possible problems I could cause to a minimum.
A decade down the line, i'm now older and in high school. I do exceedingly well in every class and never cause a problem for anybody. I do find myself without a social life which I considered to be a waste of energy at the time. I've also noticed that all my exceptional achievements are going pretty much unseen by my parents. I believe that they just got used to how I was never a problen and now its standard in their eyes. I grew up always being great and pushing into greatness even further is exceedingly difficult.
Now i'm 19 and I feel in sort of trapped in this image I created for my parents that I "must always be perfect" and "never cause a problem". I've worked so hard to keep this image but I feel like its tearing me down.
I feel really down all the time now. I just feel so unmotivated and unhappy. The "good boy" in me says to ignore all that emotional bs and just keep moving along, but its harder and harder to do that every passing day. I just feel depressed. I hide it all from my parents because this would be an issue that I would be putting onto them. "Sorry mom, but your 3rd child has a problem". Also, I don't even know if theyll care.
And looking back on this whole situation, I feel like I have only myself to blame. I feel like I was the one who caused my parents to not care about me because I never wanted them to care about me and I avoided it whereever I could.
I'm the one who caused them to look at me the way they do.
Does anyone else feel the same? | [] | [
"Does anyone else feel like they were neglected by their parents just because you were never a problem child?I know this isn't really a thing to complain about, but i've always wondered if anyone else felt the same\n\nI wa thirdborn in my family and homeschooled for the first 10 years.My mother had to school my rwo older brothers before I came into the world and this whittled down my mothers patience.By the time I was needing to be schooled, my mother was already busy enough with my other brothers that she didn't have the capacity to give me very much attention.By the time I was able to read well on my own, my mother would just plop a textbook down in front of me and I would go ahead and study on my own.I learned rather quickly that my mother had little patience when I asked for help twice in a row, or took too long to figure out easy stuff.Yelling and occasionally beatings would follow so I stopped asking for help altogether.From that point on, almost everything I did was on my own.I would start to fear help itself so I would kick my rear into overdrive and focus the hell out of my times tables or whatever it was that I was studying just to avoid help altogether.",
"It wasn't just with studying.I was for some strange reason really sensetive to yelling and I would prefer a beating rather than a scold on pretty much every occasion.Because of this, I learned cery quickly how to be a good boy in the house, not making any trouble whatsoever.Never causing problems and never having any that I had to ask assistance with.I had fun by myself in those times.Jigsaw puzzles and puzzle books and jacks and whatever other 1 player games I could find, I played them.Keeping all the possible problems I could cause to a minimum.A decade down the line, i'm now older and in high school.I do exceedingly well in every class and never cause a problem for anybody.I do find myself without a social life which I considered to be a waste of energy at the time.I've also noticed that all my exceptional achievements are going pretty much unseen by my parents.I believe that they just got used to how I was never a problen and now its standard in their eyes.I grew up always being great and pushing into greatness even further is exceedingly difficult.",
"Now i'm 19 and I feel in sort of trapped in this image I created for my parents that I \"must always be perfect\" and \"never cause a problem\".I've worked so hard to keep this image but I feel like its tearing me down.I feel really down all the time now.I just feel so unmotivated and unhappy.The \"good boy\" in me says to ignore all that emotional bs and just keep moving along, but its harder and harder to do that every passing day.I just feel depressed.I hide it all from my parents because this would be an issue that I would be putting onto them.\"Sorry mom, but your 3rd child has a problem\".Also, I don't even know if theyll care.And looking back on this whole situation, I feel like I have only myself to blame.I feel like I was the one who caused my parents to not care about me because I never wanted them to care about me and I avoided it whereever I could.I'm the one who caused them to look at me the way they do.Does anyone else feel the same?"
] | 263 | ¿Alguien más siente que fue descuidado por sus padres sólo porque nunca fue un niño problema?Sé que esto no es realmente una cosa de la que quejarse, pero siempre me he preguntado si alguien más se sentía lo mismo que yo era tercero en mi familia y educado en casa durante los primeros 10 años.Mi madre tuvo que estudiar a mis hermanos mayores antes de que yo llegara al mundo y esto redujo la paciencia de mis madres.Por el tiempo que necesitaba ser educado, mi madre ya estaba lo suficientemente ocupada con mis otros hermanos que ella no tenía la capacidad de darme mucha atención.Por el tiempo que yo era capaz de leer bien por mi cuenta, mi madre simplemente aplacaba un libro de texto en frente de mí y yo iba adelante y estudiaba por mi cuenta.Aprendí bastante rápidamente que mi madre tenía poca paciencia cuando pedí ayuda dos veces seguidas, o tomaba demasiado tiempo para resolver cosas fáciles.Yelling y algunas veces las palizas seguirían así que dejé de pedir ayuda por mi cuenta.De ese punto, casi todo lo que hice era por mi cuenta. |
Aight thats it, time to go I've been up for too long now, yall have a good sleep its like 2am but hey I'm 18 now so thats kinda cool, my wise old man advice is go build something, or draw smt you have the ability to create, and thats whats got the human race to the reddit we have today | [] | [
"Aight thats it, time to go I've been up for too long now, yall have a good sleep its like 2ambut hey I'm 18 now so thats kinda cool, my wise old man advice is go build something, or draw smt you have the ability to create, and thats whats got the human race to the reddit we have today"
] | 81 | De acuerdo, es hora de irme. He estado despierto por demasiado tiempo. Duerme bien. Es como 2am, pero ahora tengo 18, así que eso es genial, mi consejo de viejo sabio es construir algo, o dibujar smt. Tienes la habilidad de crear, y eso es lo que tiene la raza humana al reddit que tenemos hoy. |
The Cold Sore Did Me InLet me prefix this with saying that cold sores are not that bad, but it was enough to push me over the edge.
So, I've only for sure had one, and I may have had one or two more about a month or two later--but they didn't have apparent symptoms. The point being is that I haven't had anything since my first initial outbreak two years ago. Combine this fact along with the fact that I thought 80% of the population already had it, and that it was very rare to give it when you do not have symptoms. I was wrong. Only 60% of the US population has it (40% is far to high for me to just not care), and you can fairly regularly give it when you have no symptoms. So, now, if I ever want to kiss a girl again, I have to warn her that I've had cold sores, and I also need to avoid oral sex because I might give my partner it down there even without any open sores.
So, this news is too much for me. I'm already miserable at my job (I've been looking for new work for three months now--my city's economy is horrible). My friend groups are breaking down (mainly people moving away or getting into relationships and forgetting about their single friends). I am not close with my family. And now, I can't even date because I'm a disgusting man who might give you cold sores.
No, I am not the "typical" person who you find on this subreddit. I have numerous hobbies, I stay in shape, I (I guess now formerly) was successful with women, and I had quite a few friends. But I'm lonely. I've lost my three closest friends in a span of six months (one moved, one hates me now, and the other decides that his gf is all that matters in life), and they really were like family to me--especially important since I'm not close with my own. Professionally, I'm going no where and will probably be laid off in May, and, based on my city's job market, I won't be able to find work. Therefore, I am about to become an unemployed and lonely man who is undatable.
It's the calmness--that's how I know that I'm close. The despair makes you unable to do anything, but the calmness let's you have the energy to end it. Thanks for reading, I appreciate you taking the time. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"The Cold Sore Did Me InLet me prefix this with saying that cold sores are not that bad, but it was enough to push me over the edge.So, I've only for sure had one, and I may have had one or two more about a month or two later--but they didn't have apparent symptoms.The point being is that I haven't had anything since my first initial outbreak two years ago.Combine this fact along with the fact that I thought 80% of the population already had it, and that it was very rare to give it when you do not have symptoms.I was wrong.Only 60% of the US population has it (40% is far to high for me to just not care), and you can fairly regularly give it when you have no symptoms.So, now, if I ever want to kiss a girl again, I have to warn her that I've had cold sores, and I also need to avoid oral sex because I might give my partner it down there even without any open sores.So, this news is too much for me.I'm already miserable at my job (I've been looking for new work for three months now--my city's economy is horrible).My friend groups are breaking down (mainly people moving away or getting into relationships and forgetting about their single friends).I am not close with my family.",
"And now, I can't even date because I'm a disgusting man who might give you cold sores.No, I am not the \"typical\" person who you find on this subreddit.I have numerous hobbies, I stay in shape, I (I guess now formerly) was successful with women, and I had quite a few friends.But I'm lonely.I've lost my three closest friends in a span of six months (one moved, one hates me now, and the other decides that his gf is all that matters in life), and they really were like family to me--especially important since I'm not close with my own.Professionally, I'm going no where and will probably be laid off in May, and, based on my city's job market, I won't be able to find work.Therefore, I am about to become an unemployed and lonely man who is undatable.It's the calmness--that's how I know that I'm close.The despair makes you unable to do anything, but the calmness let's you have the energy to end it.Thanks for reading, I appreciate you taking the time."
] | 285 | The Cold Sore Did Me InLet me prefijo esto diciendo que los herpes labial no son tan malos, pero fue suficiente para empujarme sobre el borde.Así que, yo sólo he tenido una, y yo podría haber tenido uno o dos más alrededor de un mes o dos más tarde--pero no tenían síntomas aparentes.El punto es que no he tenido nada desde mi primer brote inicial hace dos años.Combinar este hecho junto con el hecho de que pensé que el 80% de la población ya lo tenía, y que era muy raro darlo cuando no tienes síntomas.Me equivoqué.Sólo el 60% de la población de Estados Unidos lo tiene (el 40% es muy alto para que yo no me preocupe), y usted puede bastante regularmente darlo cuando usted no tiene síntomas.Así que ahora, si alguna vez quiero besar a una chica de nuevo, tengo que advertirle que he tenido dolores fríos, y también necesito evitar el sexo oral porque podría darle a mi pareja incluso sin ningún dolor abierto. |
can't shake the suicidal ideationi've struggled on and off with depression for my whole adolescence, and have managed to cope the last 6 years without medication and the last 3 without therapy. it's been important to me to give off the air of being well-adjusted. i'm a good student at a good university, with good friends and good hobbies.
still, i've never been able to completely move on from thinking about suicide: in the best of times, it's distant and amusing-to-think-about, in the worst it's a seriously-considered recourse. i just can't seem to feel fulfilled by any of my relationships, any of my accomplishments. even though i imagine by most accounts i'd be considered a happy, sociable, well-liked person, i feel like i just want to tie up my responsibilities, distribute my things, and get lost. almost unconsciously, i imagine the feeling of the barrel of a gun on the roof of my mouth, or what it would feel like to jump off a bridge or jump into traffic.
it's totally humiliating. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"can't shake the suicidal ideationi've struggled on and off with depression for my whole adolescence, and have managed to cope the last 6 years without medication and the last 3 without therapy.it's been important to me to give off the air of being well-adjusted.i'm a good student at a good university, with good friends and good hobbies.still, i've never been able to completely move on from thinking about suicide: in the best of times, it's distant and amusing-to-think-about, in the worst it's a seriously-considered recourse.i just can't seem to feel fulfilled by any of my relationships, any of my accomplishments.even though i imagine by most accounts i'd be considered a happy, sociable, well-liked person, i feel like i just want to tie up my responsibilities, distribute my things, and get lost.almost unconsciously, i imagine the feeling of the barrel of a gun on the roof of my mouth, or what it would feel like to jump off a bridge or jump into traffic.it's totally humiliating."
] | 238 | No puedo sacudir la ideación suicida he luchado de vez en cuando con la depresión para toda mi adolescencia, y he logrado hacer frente a los últimos 6 años sin medicamentos y los últimos 3 sin terapia. ha sido importante para mí dejar el aire de estar bien ajustado.Soy un buen estudiante en una buena universidad, con buenos amigos y buenos pasatiempos.todavía, nunca he sido capaz de pasar completamente de pensar en el suicidio: en el mejor de los casos, es distante y divertido-a-pensar, en el peor de los casos es un recurso seriamente considerado. simplemente no puedo parecer satisfecho por ninguna de mis relaciones, ninguno de mis logros. incluso aunque imagino por la mayoría de las cuentas que sería considerado una persona feliz, sociable, muy me gusta, me siento como si simplemente quisiera unir mis responsabilidades, distribuir mis cosas, y perderme. casi inconscientemente, me imagino la sensación de un cañón en el techo de mi boca, o lo que me gustaría saltar de un puente o saltar en el tráfico. |
Can somebody talk to me?There is shit in my life that I need to just talk about, but also maybe need some help with...
But I don't want to do that publicly, idk why... I just don't | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Can somebody talk to me?There is shit in my life that I need to just talk about, but also maybe need some help with...But I don't want to do that publicly, idk why...I just don't"
] | 49 | ¿Puede alguien hablar conmigo?Hay mierda en mi vida de la que solo tengo que hablar, pero también puede que necesite ayuda...Pero no quiero hacer eso públicamente, idk por qué... |
Police Visit UKThrowaway due to obvious reasons.
Last night I made a decision to significantly harm myself with the intention to end my life.
As a last ditch attempt I text Crisis Text Line.
After some back and for I had calmed down and decided to get out of the house. I left everything including my phone.
Once I managed to recoup my thoughts I gathers my things (including my phone) and went to my parents.
In the meantime, Crisis has contacted the Police and they tracked me to my parents house. This led to an encounter where I had to discuss everything in an open dialogue and I was strongly advised to stay at my parents etc.
I’m concerned with what the repercussions are now with Police (including my police records, contact with my GP/medical records and employer). | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Police Visit UKThrowaway due to obvious reasons.Last night I made a decision to significantly harm myself with the intention to end my life.As a last ditch attempt I text Crisis Text Line.After some back and for I had calmed down and decided to get out of the house.I left everything including my phone.Once I managed to recoup my thoughts I gathers my things (including my phone) and went to my parents.In the meantime, Crisis has contacted the Police and they tracked me to my parents house.This led to an encounter where I had to discuss everything in an open dialogue and I was strongly advised to stay at my parents etc.I’m concerned with what the repercussions are now with Police (including my police records, contact with my GP/medical records and employer)."
] | 165 | La policía visitó UKThrowaway debido a razones obvias.Anoche tomé la decisión de hacerme daño significativamente con la intención de terminar mi vida.Como último intento de zanja, envié un mensaje a Crisis Text Line.Después de un poco de vuelta y porque me había calmado y decidí salir de la casa.Dejé todo, incluyendo mi teléfono.Una vez que me las arreglé para recuperar mis pensamientos, recojo mis cosas (incluyendo mi teléfono) y fui a mis padres.Mientras tanto, Crisis se puso en contacto con la policía y me rastrearon hasta la casa de mis padres.Esto me llevó a un encuentro donde tuve que discutir todo en un diálogo abierto y me aconsejaron fuertemente que me quedara con mis padres, etc. Me preocupan las repercusiones que tienen ahora con la policía (incluyendo mis registros policiales, contacto con mi GP/regists médicos y empleador). |
I'm fucked. All of this is an illusion.Ive recently lost someone i felt like was a brother to me, and i realized that he was one of the only people who actually wanted to spend time with me and made an effort to.
Im so tired of being the friend who asks.
Why are people constantly so selfish?
Last night i tried to end everything.
it didnt work and honestly the only person who knew and "cared" has left me completely alone the whole day, not talking to me at all and then promises to fix things when i ask for them to do something about it, but they never do.
its probably stupid but theyre in a band, and they have always said to me "you could be the singer, or the pianist (i play piano) or the bass player" and all three of those have been taken and i feel like a fucking failure.
I used to be such a bad friend. but now km getting what i deserve in life.
It just keeps happening and im so tired of this cycle.
I got kicked out of my therapy even after i begged to stay in.
I havent been one day clean.
When will it end? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm fucked.All of this is an illusion.Ive recently lost someone i felt like was a brother to me, and i realized that he was one of the only people who actually wanted to spend time with me and made an effort to.Im so tired of being the friend who asks.Why are people constantly so selfish?Last night i tried to end everything.it didnt work and honestly the only person who knew and \"cared\" has left me completely alone the whole day, not talking to me at all and then promises to fix things when i ask for them to do something about it, but they never do.its probably stupid but theyre in a band, and they have always said to me \"you could be the singer, or the pianist (i play piano) or the bass player\" and all three of those have been taken and i feel like a fucking failure.I used to be such a bad friend.but now km getting what i deserve in life.It just keeps happening and im so tired of this cycle.I got kicked out of my therapy even after i begged to stay in.I havent been one day clean.When will it end?"
] | 242 | Estoy jodido.Todo esto es una ilusión.Recientemente he perdido a alguien que me sentía como si fuera un hermano para mí, y me di cuenta de que él era una de las únicas personas que realmente quería pasar tiempo conmigo y se esforzaron por hacerlo.Estoy tan cansado de ser el amigo que me pregunta.¿Por qué la gente constantemente es tan egoísta?Anoche intenté terminar todo.No funcionó y honestamente la única persona que sabía y "cuidó" me ha dejado completamente solo todo el día, no me habla en absoluto y luego promete arreglar las cosas cuando les pido que hagan algo al respecto, pero nunca lo hacen.Es probable que sea estúpido pero están en una banda, y siempre me han dicho "podrías ser el cantante, o el pianista (toco piano) o el bajista" y todos esos tres han sido tomados y me siento como un maldito fracaso.Solía ser un amigo tan malo.Pero ahora km conseguir lo que merezco en la vida. |
Considering killing myself, the depression just keeps strangling me.I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, since i was a little kid i've been this way. This winter my abusive girlfriend left me and i still can't get over her completely. The weekenid i had now was the best in such a long time, the issue is that i met a girl and i felt attracted to her, she's too young tho, only 18 and i'm in my late 20s and i feel shame for that. Nothing happened between us, we barely spoke but we were in the same company over the weekend and i had a great time but now the weekend is over and same old shit week after week continues. It's like a post-great-weekend-depression on top of my regular depression that i somewhat can hande most days. I hate that i can't have fun without going into deeper depressions afterwards, i don't know why that happens and yeah, feeling this attraction to a 18 year old girl is shit aswell. | [
"selfharm"
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"Considering killing myself, the depression just keeps strangling me.I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, since i was a little kid i've been this way.This winter my abusive girlfriend left meand i still can't get over her completely.The weekenid i had now was the best in such a long time, the issue is that i met a girl and i felt attracted to her, she's too young tho, only 18and i'm in my late 20sand i feel shame for that.Nothing happened between us, we barely spoke but we were in the same company over the weekend and i had a great time but now the weekend is over and same old shit week after week continues.It's like a post-great-weekend-depression on top of my regular depression that i somewhat can hande most days.I hate that i can't have fun without going into deeper depressions afterwards, i don't know why that happens andyeah, feeling this attraction to a 18 year old girl is shit aswell."
] | 221 | Considerando suicidarme, la depresión me sigue estrangulando.Siempre he luchado con la ansiedad y la depresión, desde que era un niño pequeño he sido así.Este invierno mi novia abusiva se fue mezquino que todavía no puedo superarla completamente.El fin de semana que tenía ahora era el mejor en tanto tiempo, el problema es que conocí a una chica y me sentí atraída por ella, ella es demasiado joven tho, sólo 18 y estoy en mis 20 y siento vergüenza por eso.Nada pasó entre nosotros, apenas hablamos pero estuvimos en la misma compañía durante el fin de semana y lo pasé muy bien pero ahora el fin de semana es más y la misma mierda vieja semana tras semana continúa.Es como una depresión post-gran fin de semana encima de mi depresión normal que de alguna manera puedo entregar la mayoría de los días.Odio que no pueda divertirme sin entrar en depresiones más profundas después, no sé por qué sucede y sí, sentir esta atracción a una chica de 18 años es una mierda también. |
Welp, here we go again. Hey hey! Guess who got their bank account opened... And has no idea how to use it because school is dumb and only teaches you how to count money and not actually use it- damn I love life! | [] | [
"Welp, here we go again.Hey hey!Guess who got their bank account opened...And has no idea how to use it because school is dumb and only teaches you how to count money and not actually use it-damn I love life!"
] | 53 | Welp, aquí vamos de nuevo.Hey hey!Adivina quién consiguió su cuenta bancaria abierta...Y no tiene idea de cómo usarla porque la escuela es tonta y sólo te enseña cómo contar dinero y no utilizarlo realmente-maldita sea que me encanta la vida! |
hey liam, is you are have beans? ??????
nevermind, it's too late now. | [] | [
"hey liam, is you are have beans? ??????nevermind, it's too late now."
] | 29 | Hey liam, ¿está usted tiene frijoles? ???????No importa, es demasiado tarde ahora. |
what ways is there to help and support other teenagers and young adults? what ways can u come up with to help young adult and teenagers ?
I'm trying to get ideas for a project of mine.
15 male | [] | [
"what ways is there to help and support other teenagers and young adults?what ways can u come up with to help young adult and teenagers ?I'm trying to get ideas for a project of mine.15 male"
] | 43 | ¿Qué maneras hay de ayudar y apoyar a otros adolescentes y adultos jóvenes?¿Qué maneras puedes encontrar para ayudar a adultos jóvenes y adolescentes?Estoy tratando de obtener ideas para un proyecto mío.15 hombre |
Never EndingI’ve been going through shit this past year. My mental health has plummeted these past months and I’ve been fantasizing about self-harming all year. My oldest sister has been going at it with my mother and they sometimes get into heated arguments. My sister referenced her wanting to end it all after a fight with her boyfriend but the only thing my mother & father said was that people go to Hell if they do that. That’s the only thing that matters to them. For me, the road to Heaven is already ruined because of my sexuality. If I’m going there anyway, what’s the point of waiting? This isn’t the first time she referenced this before. My mother has seen me look depressed and thought it would be best to tell me that if I commit suicide, I will burn it Hell. I was to self-destruct. I see why people take drugs. I need to feel. Dreaming about slitting my wrists only soothes me for so long. I can’t wait to get away. 21 years of living and no one has ever loved me. I’m a worthless closeted homo and I feel that world is laughing at me. I will finally get the last laugh once I hang myself. Didn’t want to ruin Christmas but now since Christmas is over, I have nothing holding me back. My depression has turn into anger. Most days, I feel rage and isolation. Nothing really brings me joy in this life. | [
"selfharm"
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"Never EndingI’ve been going through shit this past year.My mental health has plummeted these past months and I’ve been fantasizing about self-harming all year.My oldest sister has been going at it with my mother and they sometimes get into heated arguments.My sister referenced her wanting to end it all after a fight with her boyfriend but the only thing my mother & father said was that people go to Hell if they do that.That’s the only thing that matters to them.For me, the road to Heaven is already ruined because of my sexuality.If I’m going there anyway, what’s the point of waiting?This isn’t the first time she referenced this before.My mother has seen me look depressed and thought it would be best to tell me that if I commit suicide, I will burn it Hell.I was to self-destruct.I see why people take drugs.I need to feel.Dreaming about slitting my wrists only soothes me for so long.I can’t wait to get away.21 years of living and no one has ever loved me.I’m a worthless closeted homoand I feel that world is laughing at me.I will finally get the last laugh once I hang myself.Didn’t want to ruin Christmas but now since Christmas is over, I have nothing holding me back.",
"My depression has turn into anger.Most days, I feel rage and isolation.Nothing really brings me joy in this life."
] | 290 | Mi salud mental ha caído en picado estos últimos meses y he estado fantaseando con autolesionarme todo el año.Mi hermana mayor ha estado yendo con mi madre y a veces se meten en acaloradas discusiones.Mi hermana se refirió a su deseo de terminar todo después de una pelea con su novio, pero lo único que mi madre & padre dijo fue que la gente va al infierno si lo hacen.Eso es lo único que les importa.Para mí, el camino al Cielo ya está arruinado debido a mi sexualidad.Si voy allí de todos modos, ¿cuál es el punto de esperar?Esta no es la primera vez que se refiere a esto antes.Mi madre me ha visto deprimido y pensó que lo mejor sería decirme que si me suicidaba, lo quemaría Infierno.Yo era autodestruirme.Veo por qué la gente toma drogas.Necesito sentirlo antes.Dreaming abouting sliting my muñecas me calmaría por tanto tiempo.No puedo esperar a conseguir nada lejos.Veo por qué la gente toma drogas.Yo necesito sentir que la gente se está riendo. |