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https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-mymommylovesme-the-kind-of-friends-we-used-to-be/

mymommylovesme The kind of friends we used to be to my best friends shannon and kaylee Publication Date: March 28th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-mymommylovesme

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-yanae-dozier-stepfather/

Yanae Dozier Stepfather what do i do mixed emotions My name is Haydn i'm 15 and i live with my mom and her new boyfriend he's nice  i think he wants me to start calling him dad but ima stick to james for a litttle while longer. My mom just got this new job at this hospital so shes always working ,but tonight we are all having dinner which is weird because we never eat dinner togrether.                                                          LATER THAT NIGHT I walk into the kitchen smelling the chicken in the oven my stomach screaming for food. I see james cooking I knew it had to be him because my mom can't cook she finds a way to burn everything. i Don't see my mom which is weird because she told me this was a family thing. " Where's my mom?" james turn around scared as if he didin't see me standing here "She had to work so she said me and you can just have dinner". I looked at him as if he just spoke french.  " Its almost most done" he said with a big smile on his face. This is going to be a weird dinner and im really hungry so i can't say im not and skip out. I went to sit at the dinning room table and wait paitently while he prepares the food. A couple secounds later hes walking into the dinning room with two steaming plates he sits my plate infront of me and sits across the table with his plate infront of him. Im so hungry I didnt realize he was staring at me waiting for me to compliment his food. " The food is good James"  -me  "Thanks im glad you like it but you can call me dad you know if its not weird or anything"   -james  " UH yea thats kinda weird james"  -me  " I understand you are so like your mother, you'll let me in one day"  I try to avoid anymore conversation so I pick up my phone and start looking at my boring intagram feed.  "So do you have a boyfriend yet?" -james  "no" -me  "why not you are a pretty you should have all the boys" -james  "Im just not interested in boys my age they are all stupid, dinner was great but im full ima go get ready for bed"-me  " well i understand goodnight love"     That was the weirdest conversation ever but he's cool i guess he just wants to know me better. I put my plate in the sink and head to my room so I can get in the shower i turn on the water all the way hot how I like it i get in and i feel so relaxed i close my eyes and just go into a deep relaxing state. Then i hear the bathroom door open I open my eyes and open the shower door. James is standing there completely naked. I stand there in shock not know what to do.  " I think you are really prettty i really like you haydn you said you don't like guys your age and figured why not me i'll never hurt you I care for you"  -james  He gets into the shower and rubs his hands down my body i back away and Almost fall. I try to get out but james pulls my back in he pulls me closer to him and i felt his dick agianist my stomach and it turned me on. I knew this was wrong but i kinda wanted it he was hot and ive been so..... well teenage girl lately.  Publication Date: April 26th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-yqe61a7b7443e65

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lexie-danger-bad-girl-in-town/

Lexie Danger Bad Girl in town Chapter 1 Follow Me I am Lexie Danger but my friends call me Danger. I am a bad bitch and I know it. I live with my brother and his 3 friends. I am 5'8 I have curly long bright red hair. Also I am in a gang and drive a motor cycle. My brothers friends are all 16 like me and there names are Jesse James Xavier and my brothers name is Zander(we all go to the same school).   Today is Wednesday  and  all but me and Xavier are gone. Me and Xavier are best friends he is the only on who is not a player.  At the same time me and Xavier both are receiving a text message from my 2nd in command (I am the gang leader) telling us to get our asses to school   I Xavier  Said "oh shit we have school" so we both jump up and hop on our motercycles  this is our first day at our new school because me and Xavier got expelled from our last one.    So when we pull up I do a big stunt on my bike and everyone is clapping when I get of my bike I take off my helmet and let my hair down so to everyone's supersize I was a girl (I wore a leather biker jacket and short shorts with a black choker)    so so let's skip to lunch I was about to sit down with Xavier when a girl cleared her throught and said "that's my table" and I said "we'll find a new one cause I'm sitting here fake ass bitch"  then she said" don't you no who I am and this hottie next to you ovi loves me"  thats when I lost it and I said " Fake ass hoe this is now my table move your ass before I beat your ass" she said" this is over fight me in the court yard after school "  and then I said " bitch please we both no I will kick your ass and said fine 3:00 bitch   when we sit down to eat Xavier says "Danger your going to beat her ass ain't you" he says with a grin i say" fuck yah I am " then we both bust out laghing    After lunch i start heading to my locker on my way to my locker I see Zane blocking it (schools 5 bad boy after my brother and his friends  i say "Zane move your fat ass " he says " don't tell me what to do bitch"  then I say "then  is danger not bitch  and second move before I move you" then he says "you punch like a baby anway by this time in our fight people had gathered and were yelling fight and in the frount were my brother and his 3 friends xavier jesse and james yelling woop his ass danger. So thats what i did i socked him in the face and when he was about to throw a punch a grabed his fist and layed him flat on his ass and wispered "next time you should just move you no so friendly advice". hey baby Its after school and i am getting ready to fight even though we all know i gonna kick her ass she said "bring you and your squad " so i said "it wouldent be fair i will fight you 1 on 3" she said "suit yourself bitch   The Fight  is from xaivers point o veiw until further notice    My friends and i knew Danger was goona win come on the police debated regestering her hands as a lethal wepon.haha. Danger is not some one to fuck with you can either be by her side,in here way, or a bitch chose wisley cause danger will  you up is you cross her.this girl brionna was about to get the fuck beat out of her and i was goona have to jump in to keep from danger killing the bitch. so the fight is starting and this is how it goes down Brionna throws the first punch when danger catches it and throws her on her back the puches the shit out of her then brionnas right hand girl comes out with a stick and danger grabs her blad and breaks that stick with on swift move then throws a series of punches and kicks till shes on the ground then the last on standing mages to hit danger twice in the face before danger kick the shit out of the bitch. everyone was clapping then we all left me , danger, jesse, james, and zander   dangers point of veiw   xavier said "Damm girl you were like a blazing figher out there them bithch thought they could beat you" zander said " hell yhea they didnt no what hit them" jesse said  " damm baby the were so scared" james said " baby that was hot as fuck   Danger said " i scared the fear of god into them" haha   alright lets go watch a movie i say we all get there and ther are no more seats so i sit on james lap after the movie everyone but me amd james went to bed so i put in a nother movie and we watched it together  near the end of the movie i start to move in james lap and james says "you otta stop moving onless you want to do something" i laugh then i say okay lets make out  There was no pause, no decision to be made, no slow approach. James moved in, and his mouth consumed mine. He tasted like tequila and lime…and something sweeter, darker. His tongue swept out against my lips and I let him in, begged him in. He filled my mouth, stroking the most sensitive spots and retreating only to return. I couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped as his mouth slanted over mine again. I arched into him, bringing my breasts in contact with his chest, and he made a sound like a growl and suddenly without warning he slips his hand under my shirt massaging my breast I moan into his mouth.After that I could not hold back I took of his shirt him working off my shirt we throw them to the ground as he worked off all my other clothes now we were exposed laying on each other he trusted 3 times and then he entered me 1 finger the 2 then 3. Then he exited and he put his you no what in and thrusted I moaned softly, then I started playing with his hair then he moaned I flipped him over so I was on top and whispered "your sexy when you get angry and with all his might he switched positions and I was on the bottom I traced his 6 pack.  causing him to growl lowly. Then he thrusted and I moaned to loudly . Danger are you okay everybody said from upstairs. "Yah "I said in a groling voice cause James was thrusting into me and using both hands to rub me all over and was making out with me all the while. The Zander said "No your not I'm coming down there" "Zander I am fine okay"I said. "Okay"Zander. Goodnight everyone said from upstairs. With that me and James when upstairs and layer in my bed and gave another couple of thrusts and fell asleep inside eachother   Danger is Leathal I wake up saturday morning and take a shower. Then i put on my zebra print short shorts and a black top with my gang leather jacket and a white choker. Today me and James have some gang buissnus to take care of so i put my 3 prized knives and 3 prized guns on seperate sides of my hips.  I go down stairs to see everyone eating the they all stop and ask me why i was moaning last night. Me and james just bust out laghing and then they relize that james was the one making me moan. Everyone notices my jacket and knives and guns so they ask what i am planing on doing     I said in my most innisont voice "James and I have to help lead a gang raied into other gang territory called the devils.Then Zander says "Once the get a glips of you they will kill themselves." Then i say "well they have my hands regaserted as lethal.   I am one of the 5 badass bitches in our town and everyone knows not to fuck with me. Zander and everyone laghed hard. T hen Zander says "Sis i have to admit you are one badass bitch." then everyone laghes. "Dude  your sister is one of the most feared gang leaders in the country even the cops are to scared to arrest her."said jesse (btws are gang is called the black reapers we kill or serve great harm to anyone that mess with us we are also the most feared gang in kansas. ) "Dude Danger just keeps it real with anyone and anything".said Xavier."Come on Xavier we have to go" I say.   I hop on my bike and take off, I ride stag wich means no protection. When we get there, We only brought 10 people and there were 20 bikes so we think finally a challenge.We all can tell they are ready for a gun fight so we are going to give it to them. So here is how it when the down.   Bullets tore through the door, sending splinters flying. Windows shattered, spewing glass shards everywhere Bullets gouging the walls Spray of bullets tore through the line of front windows, striking a side wall, shattering a beautiful gilded mirror The man had seen James's  shadow, seen awhisper of movement and dove to the ground. Jack’s bullet went tinto a tree and spewed up a whirlwind of leaves Ignoring the pain in his thigh, the blood seeping from the cut in his left arm and tried to move as quickly and quietyly as possible for her gun. Shoot the smell off a skunk at a hundred yards Some were home by now having their first drink before dinner. Maybe looking at the paper. Probably none of them were planning to shoot it out with a bunch of Gand members but that's what they got.We tried not to hurt the bystanders but some interfeared, but left after they saw me He lunged for My  gun, but I rolled his hands down and away with a minor wing chun deflection, and snapped the Python up hard into the bottom of the man’s chin, popping his jaw like a rat trap. The Python flicked again, and this time, I hit him in the Adams’ apple. The bagman clutched at his throat, choking. His face turned bright red Opened up with sharp, recise three-round bursts, their fire guided by the infrared dots visible through their monoculars. Carver’s reaction was subconscious, automatic. He fired at the James and the backup who came after him. I never turned his back on a wounded man. We all felt the fight but at the end we won with only 2 ingerned 3 counting me. After James and I were Badly bruised, lacerations, and at least one of his teeth had recently been knocked out My hands were sore. I stumbled out into the kitchen and put ice cubes in a bowl and ran some water and put my hands in to soak. We killed 5 of them out—what’s wrong with that—nothing except there were 8. Me and James were fine my brother was pissed but I calmed him down                                                                                                                                                      The party  My best friend in the gang besides james. Lilyla and I were throwing a party we had everything Weed, Beer, ETC. We envited everyone we could think Cameron, Willam, Hunter, James, Xaiver, Everyone at the house, etc.                                Heres how the party happened  Publication Date: December 6th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-yt5ececea3e3f75

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-carolin-joiner-10-days/

Carolin Joiner 10 Days Prolog What would you do if you knew you have only ten more days to life? I bet you'd make big plans: spent every second with the people you love and tell them goodbye. Fulfill a wish you always had. Tell your boyfriend that you love him. Tell your friends they're the best friends of the world. You would probably also visit some parties. Watch a movie you always wanted to see. And do things like eat red mead, smoke some weed, skip school and do all the other things you were never allowed to do. All the things that would influence your future. A virgin would have sex. A vegetarian would eat meat. An ex-alcoholic would start drinking again. And I, I would search for my father. Yeah, that's what you would do, if you knew you have only ten more days to life. But I didn't know. T H E D E A D E N D Publication Date: April 10th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-allicraft

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-tieteona-griffin-wrong-love/

Tieteona Griffin Wrong Love Not all love ends well. 13 year old Becka Livery, lives with her workaholic mother who never seems to pay attention to her. Becka wishes that her mother would notice her, so to spend her time she joins an online worldwide chat room where she can speak to whomever she pleases. Becka starts an online relationship with a guy she does not know. She falls deeply for this person, but when they meet they both find out about the huge age difference they have. 19 year old John Blake still has deep feeling for her and its the same for Becka, but Becka's mother looses her job and until she finds another one she plans to spend time with Becka. Now that Becka's wish has come true, she wishes she could take it back. In this heartbreaking drama Becka has to struggle to keep her relationship with John alive as she tries to keep her now concerned mother from finding out... Publication Date: August 17th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-tie.tie1

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jolynna-jean-pierre-quotes-of-the-drift/

Jolynna Jean-Pierre Quotes of the Drift Life as Charlette.C.Jackson table of contents chapter 1- lets begin chapter 2- run for it chapter 3- Memories chapter 4- The unexpected Proposal chapter 5- The wedding   Chapter 1- Let’s begin Hello. My name is Ms.C.jackson. C stands for charlotte, but friends call me cc. I work as a divorce lawyer in an office, which stands in the center of downtown, Atlanta. I’ve worked for a couple of famous people, like Kim Kardashian, Will Smith, etc. I can’t say that I’m rich nor wealthy, but for 1 year, I earn at least up to $100,000 to $200,000 annually. I work for the firm of Atlanta divorce lawyer / family attorney in Atlanta, Ga. For me, if you should ask, life is great. I’m engaged to a famous NFL player, Tony Brasting. When we met, it’s like I knew that he was the one. So…you want to know his description, huh? Well, I’ll tell you. He is tall, light skin, light brown eyes, and a smile and winks that would make a girl faint. Yes, it does sound adorable,tho. Okay…back to me. Everyday, I wake up feeling fresher than the other days. I even some times memories my whole schedule for a week. But as time roll by, you just cant help but to ask yourself, “If I was single, would I be doing all this?”Whenever I ask myself that question, I would have the same response, which is yes. Don’t know about you, but life is happier when you have a helping hand. As life strolls through memory lane, you can view all the stuff that you’ve could’ve sworn you forgot about. Like I could’ve sworn I forgot about my lovely ex from high school. His name, don’t even think its important to say, is David Lovith Jr. I would call him DJ. I rarely think about going to my fiancé’s games because I know that I will run into DJ, because DJ plays on the same team my fiancé plays. Truth be told, I am not all that innocent, and neither are my sisters. I have two sisters before me, and a brother before them. So in other words, I’m the baby of the household. I am 24 years old. Yeah, I know what you are thinking…she is too young to be working as a divorce lawyer. I use to think that was the case, but not at all. My sister’s names are Natasha, and Becky Jackson. My brother name is Brian Jackson. My brother is 30 years old. Natasha is 28 years old. Becky is 26 years old. All of us are 2 years apart. My sister Natasha is 7 months pregnant, and she is having a girl. Her baby shower is next month on June 2nd. I have a meeting @ 7:00 am tomorrow about the court cases, and its progress. Okay, let me see…I’m getting paid Friday, have to go to fiancé’s game Saturday, family’s dinner Sunday morning… I think I got it, yep, that’s it. (Ring…ring)  “Hello?” I answered. “Yes, is this Ms.C.jackson?” answered the responder. “This is she…may I ask who is speaking?” I responded. “This…is…um…was…your secret admirer from high school” answered the responder. “Okay…what is your name?”I responded. “My name is Adrian Davis” he replied. Omg, I thought. What will I say? I haven’t seen or heard from this man in 4 years. But to be real, his real full name is Adrian “D” lovith. Yep. That is Dj’s brother. Sadly, I turned him down at prom junior year. Well, he is 25 years old. I have no clue of why he would be calling me because the last time we talked, we were talking about getting him a job. “Um…hey, how you’ve been?” I asked, “Got a family yet?” “No…not yet, but I found me a job, I start tomorrow”Adrian said. “Cool…maybe when you’re finish, we could go celebrate” I responded. “That sounds nice…I’ll call you later, bye”  Adrian said. “Okay, bye” I said, while hanging up my phone. Wow, so he finally found a job, that’s great. I’m actually happy for him. Well, I’m going to bed.  Wednesday morning (Beep…beep…beep)   The alarm went off at 6:30 am on the dot. I got up, got dressed, and headed downstairs. Before I left, I gave my fiancé a kiss on his forehead. As I went into the kitchen, I made me a cup of coffee, which is usually a large cup. I quickly jumped into the car, opened the garage door, and headed out to work. My fiancé and I have 3 different vehicles put together. I have a BMW 2013 convertible, and my fiancé has a cherry red w/ black strips motorcycle, also a black coated pries hybrid. Sometimes, we would switch cars depending on the occasion. I made it to work at 6:45am, which gave me enough time to go to the breakfast bar. I was practically at my desk, waiting for them to say, “Meeting starts in 2 minutes”, but instead another announcement came, saying,  “Ms.Jackson, please come to the conference room”. I was kind of shocked, like why me, but I had no choice. As I walked inside, everyone started clapping and shouting with cheer. Then my boss walked up to me, shakes my hand, and handed me an award saying, “Let’s hear it for this years 2013 head lawyer”. I was so shocked to the point of me crying. Before he sat down, he quickly told me, “ As head lawyer, you will have to spend 4 months straight training our newest member of the work force, Adrian Lovith”. As I looked up, Adrian was sitting in the chair next to mine.    For some reason, I knew he recommend that I train him. When I sat down, I was more focused on the meeting than him, not noticing that he was feeling on my leg. The meeting ended at 1:00pm. I had enough time to get him settled down for office work. My office was big enough for 2 people, so I had put Adrian’s desk facing my desk. The only things separating us were the walkway of my office, and the doorway. I wrote on a sticky note my email address, and phone number, just in case, he had any questions. I had placed it on the face of his computer screen. As Adrian was putting his stuff down, he noticed the note, and quickly looked at me smiling, which made me blush a little. Adrian came to my desk with his chair, and sat down next to me. The thing about my office is that my windows and doors are sound proof, and my blinds are always down and closed. I have a sign on my door that says, “in order to come inside, knock 3xs, and wait for my response”. As he sat next to me, he noticed that my coffee cup was between my legs. Adrian gently removed the cup from my legs, and took a sip. I glanced at him for a second than headed back to my work. Adrian whispered something in my ear, which was, “For these 4 months, I’m your friend with…huh?”  Adrian sat up straight while I went to see who was at the door. To my surprise, it was my brother and sisters. “OMG, Brian, Natasha, Becky, I didn’t expect to see you until your baby shower”, I exclaimed. “Yeah…see that’s the thing…” Natasha said. “Wha…what’s wrong?” I asked, while bringing them into my office. Becky saw Adrian sitting at my desk and looked away. And then, I suddenly stopped, and turned around. I walked over to Adrian, and said in his ear, “Ask questions later, but right now it’s a family matters, I know and hope you understand”. Adrian shook his head, and slowly walked out of the office.  “Now, tell me what’s wrong?”  I asked. Natasha looked aside crying.  “Natasha, please, I can’t help you, nor Brian and Becky, if one of you doesn’t start spilling out your minds” I pleaded. “Okay, you want to know why we are here today?” Brian yelled, frustratingly. “Yes! I do…I mean I am your sister, who cares and love this family too much to throw you away” I responded. Brian had put his hands into mines and said, “Lil sis, I’m sorry that I’ve come on such short notice, but mother died last week in the hospital due to a heart attack” I had let go of Brian’s hands, and headed out of my office. Adrian saw me coming out of office, barely able to walk.  Adrian quickly grabbed my arm and lifted me up and took me outside for some air. Adrian took me to the back part of the building. There he laid me down softly on the ground. As I woke up, I started crying like crazy. Adrian sat beside me and started stroking my hair back and forth. He told me something to help me calm down, which was, "Life comes and goes but you shouldn't let that kill you, and just know that i'm always there". I looked at him with eyes full of tears. I gave him a hug as a thank you. I recieved a text on my phone. I read the text, which says, " sister, this is becky, i have to talk to you. I am still in your office waiting for you. Brian and natasha had headed home to get the funeral place ready. The funeral is @ 8:00 am".  I looked at adrian and  said " take me back to my office". I could tell that adrian was mad when the text came up. Adrian took me to the room, and sat down on the bench that was outside of my office,and started whipping my lipstick off of his lips. Before i entered the room, i took a deep breath,and then walked into the room. Becky came running to me because she felt bad the way natasha and brian told me the news. She looked me in the eyes and said,"listen, no matter what, you will always be my bestfriend,and my little sister. Nay nay and brian was loves you, but they didn't feel that they should hurt me with the news". I pushed away. "Hurt me...hurt me, becky, thats my mother we are talking about here. Okay, answer me this, if they truly loved me, why did they keep this from me?", i yelled. Becky had no answer. She just kissed me on my forehead,and said,"just remember, what i said, okay". Becky walked out of my office, and Adrian walked in. I looked at him,and he looked at me. I went to my desk,and sat down. Adrian went to his desk and got on his computer. I was looking through my email suddenly I got an email.I opened the email, and there was a picture of my mother in the hospital, sleeping in death. All of a sudden, i threw up in the trash can. Adrain rushed over to check on me, he saw the email,and quickly closed it out. I got up and started running for no reason. I grabbed my purse, phone, and keys. I jump into my car, and I rushed home. I rushed inside and ran upstairs. I didn't notice my fiance downstairs watching tv. Tony got up, and closed the front door, and headed upstairs. "hello", tony calls out. There was no response. The bedroom's door was open. Tony grabbed the nearest object,and looked around the bedroom. He heard the water runningin the bathroom. He opened the door and looked around. He slowly opened the shower door and saw me crying, lying on the shower floor. Tony quickly turned off the water,and carried me off the floor. Tony quickly took my clothes off, and dried me off with a towel. He quickly grabbed a dry pair of pjs,undies,and socks. He dressed me,and carried me downstairs. He jumped into the kitchen,and quickly made me some dinner. He came to the dan with the food.He feed me, and gave me something to drink. I came out of nowhere,and started saying,"the last time, i seen my mother was when I handed her $25,000 outof my income check, which of course got slightly seperated between the kids". Tony looked at me. Then he said," how long ago was this?". I looked at him, and said,"it was about 4 years ago". Tony shook his head. I added on," then she had the nerve to die a week ago in the hospital." Tony stopped shaking his head. He slowly tried to hug me, and i looked at him as if he was disturbed. "Babe, what's wrong?",i asked, while whipping his tears from his face. He said,"My mother died 2 years from cancer,and the last thing she told me was that as she die, she wanted to die proud because she knows that i am happy." I hugged him tightly because i know that was a sad memory for him. Then suddenly, i had let go of him. Not the type that means i cant stand him,but the type that means how dare me act this way.The man's mother left earth 2 years ago and he still held strong,but mines just left a week ago and im acting like a baby. "I'm...im sorry for being this way",i said, while walking away from him. Tony stood up,and said something so strong that he felt from his heart, which was " when my mother told me to be happy, here i am happy with the one i love...with you." I stopped. "You don't mean that", i said. " Every word of it is true",he replied,"...and i love you." Then he added on,"Do you love me?" I froze. I'm thinking to myself...out of all themes why would he choose this scene to be the cheeses. "Yea..i love you but dont take it to the head."Say-ing that you love someone and actually be in love is two total opposites. I fell in love,and got hurt so many times, i can't even count,but in the end, love will find you. "We're getting married", tony shouted, which startled me a little. "Yes...yes, we are", i replied,"well, im gonna go to sleep". "Alright, see you honey", tony replied. (thursday morning) I woke up 10 minutes before the alarm rung. I did exactly what i did yesturday,but a little slower. I took my fiance's motorcycle today. The weather said it was going to be alittle bit chilly,but great later on. I arrive to work 20 minutes early today. To my surprise, adrian was in the office before i was. Adrain looked a little more anxious then yesturday. I wanted to ask what's wrong,but i didn't feel like talking. Never once did he explain to me, what was the exact reason of why he did what he did yesturday,and so i questioned him. "Why did you kiss me?", i asked. "Huh?",Adrain asked back. "I said why did you kiss me the way you did yesturday?, i repeated. Adrian paused from what he was doing,rubbed his beard,and then looked at me. Then said,"Because of 2 reasons...1: i wanted to, and 2: you needed it." Without thinking or speaking, i started walking toward the door. Adrian jumped up,and pleaded for me not to go. I stopped. I looked back at him,and started back to my desk. I got on my computer,and started checking my email, checking for anything new. I saw that I recieved an email. I was kind of nervous on whether i should or should not check my email. But knowing me, i try to be strong ,and opened it. There was a page with the background of hearts,and ther was a note on the page. I read the note, which says, "No matter what, you are always my baby, and i love you". My response was kind of kiddesh,which was a loud "awwwwwwww". I thought it was from tony,but then i saw the words "no matter what". I dont get it. I glanced at adrain,who was smiling at his computer screen. I quickly texted back, saying"very nice,but who is this?" He texted back saying,"look across the room". I looked,and saw adrian looking at me. I got up,and went towards his desk. I sat on the edge of his desk. I quickly said," I'm getting married within 7-8 months from now,and you dont love me, do yah?!" Adrian looked at me,and said," I loved you ever since i first layed eyes on you. You never noticed me but i noticed and took interest in you". Then it came to me. How could i be so stupid. Those 4 years, he was in law school in california, moved  down here after graduating, asked every law job site if i worked there,and once he found this one, he signed up immediately. "We can only be employees toward each other,im sorry...that's it...nothing more", i said, while heading for my desk. He jumped up,and said,"I do understand,but i dont care. You see...my passion for you is uncompariable to any ther person. I mean i would die for you. I know that somewhere deep inside of you..you are saying if i was single, i would being saying the same thing,aren't you?",adrian said, while coming towards me. I didn't answer because i knew that if i said something, he would only try to kiss me again. The thing is that people think i am sensative. (ring...ring) "Hello?",i answered. "Hey girl, its jessica",she said,"Hey girl, what are you doing later on today?" "Nothing really, why?", i responded. "How would you like to have a 1 day get-away?", jessica asked. " I would love it,Okay meet me at my house @ 5:50 because i'll be ready then",i responded, while packing my stuff in my purse. "Tay..t...ta,bye",jessica said. "La..le..la, bye", I responded, while hanging up. I quickly looked up. "What time is it?", i asked. " It's 7:42 am", why?", adrian asked. I quickly started to undress myself. I ran over adrain's desk,and scrabbled through the closet. I quickly grabbed my black laced dress and hat. I looked at adrain. Adrian122 was about to fall out his seat. "Adrian...Adrian!", i said. Adrian quickly snapped out it. Adrian started saying," Were...were you just clothless?" "Yes, im rushing and so should you!", i yelled. "What im rushing for?", adrian said. I quickly put on the dress and started for the door. I pushed adrian out the office while grabbing my purse and keys. Becky was out in the front of the building. I loaded the motorcycle onto her car. Once I closed the door, Becky sped off. Becky looked at me,and then looked at adrian in the top mirror. And then she suddenly said something," So, why did you want to come with my sister?" Adrian was kind of out of words,but then he said,"I came to give your sister support in this sad time as her collige." Becky looked at me,and started smiling. " what are you smiling for?", i asked. Becky kept smiling. "what?!", i said, this time wanting to know eagerly. "You guys are so cute together, i mean instead of being engaged to a 27 year old, you have an adorible 25 year old man, right here! Now i'm 26 years old, Okay, i could take Tony and you could take adrain. Here's the ages: Charlette-24, adrian-25, me- 26, and tony-27. Do you hear what i am saying?",Becky said."What are trying to say?",i asked, while slick getting mad. "Now, you remember when you had to go somewhere,and you had asked me to to your place?", becky asked. "Okay...umm...yeah,but where?",i said. "To tony's game",becky said. "yeah, why?", i responded. "well,when i was there,tony kept looking at me smiling",becky said. "Okay, probably he was happy that you came", i said. "I dont think so", becky said. We arrived to the kingdom hall a few seconds before it had started. Adrain and i sat in the first row along with my brothers and sisters. Tony arrived a few seconds before me. I didnt notice tony at all until he held my hand so tight that i had let go of adrian's hand. I looked at him,but didnt dare look back at me. I whispered to him,"you're hurting me". He still didnt let go. I was getting frustrated because i hate being held on to. I started yanking my hand out of his. I yanked so hard that my hand sled right out of his,but my engagement ring slipped off my finger into his hand. I started rubbing my hands because they were finally free. Tony openned his hand. As soon as i saw the ring, i quickly grabbed the ring and slipped it right back on my finger.Then that was when he looked at me, and I didn't dare look at him, but instead I looked around. In the far roght in a corner, I saw DJ and his mom sitting together."The thing about Sister C. Jackson was that she loved Jehovah and his son, Jesus Christ. Before she died, she told me to pray for her children,and for jehovah to resolve their issues that they have love toward each other. Also, she wanted to tell her baby girl, Charlotte, that she loves her soo much,and the same to natasha, Becky, and Brian. She leaves behind her children: Natasha(David) 'brickett' jackson, Becky jackson,Brian Jackson, and Charlotte Jackson, Grandchildren: Angel,and Jacob. Brothers: David, louise, Carmon, and Kalvin. Sisters: Charleatte,Beckia,Nakasha, and Danayalle. Ciarra was the youngest of 9 children, and the first of the 9 to have a baby", said Bro. Johnson, who was the elder of east point congregation. After the funeral, Tony was no where to be found. Natasha came to me and said,"I wanted to tell you that I am sorry abiout how I acted in your office. Like it was totally rude, do you accept my appology?" I looked at natasha, and said,"I could never stay mad at you for too long." I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. I turned around.  To my surprise, it was my aunty charleatte."Aunty Charleatte, how you doing?", i exclaimed. "I'm fine", aunt Charleatte replied, while holding her daughter's hand. Cousin sara looked and saw that it was me, and gave me a hug. I walked around with sara for a while. "how old are you, now?", I asked. "I'm 24, and you?", sara replied." I'm 24",I replied. Sara quickly walked away because her mom was leaving. "So..you just couldn't stay away from me, huh?", said a voice that sounded familar. I quickly turned around. To my surprise, it was Dj. "Oh my god! How are you?", I said, forgetting about the question he just asked. We hugged for a while. "I'm fine", Dj responded. "I know you are", i whispered. "What was that?", Dj said, while smiling. " Oh nothing, Hows things with your team?", i asked. "It's good , we are actually 10-0", dj said. "Wow, that's great", i exclaimed. Dj pulled me to the side, and told me," heres my # just in case, you get bored or you just someone to talk to. Oh, by the way, i actually do miss what we had back in high school, I realize that i was a fool for letting you go". Dj also told me that i stay on his mind. I walked over to him, and said,"I can't believe it took you 5 whole years to realize that...its good seeing you, dj". I went into the bathroom, and quickly changed my clothes. In the stale next to mines, i thought i heard becky on the phone. " Becky!!...is that you?!", i yelled out. It was quiet for a while, and then there was a response. " Yeah, what is it?", becky answered. " Becky, why in the world would you choose a bathroom stale for a telephone conversation?", i said, while getting out the stale. Becky didn't respond. I walked out the bathroom. Adrian quickly grabbed my hand,and took me outside. Dj was outside too. I was about to scream. Adrian got on the motorcycle,a dn told me to get on. Once i got on, adrian zoomed off. As soon as we reached the office, i jumped off and ran inside.Adrian parked the motorcycle,and then ran inside after me. I ran into my office. A few seconds later, adrian came in. Adrian closed the door. I took my keys and headed to the door. Adrian pushed me to the door really hard. I struggled to get up. As soon as i got up, adrian pushed me onto the wall. I tried to move but adrian held me strong against the wall. I thought i saw adrian reach for his pocket. I quickly started acting buckwild. I quickly used all my strength to get adrian off of me. I quickly grabbed my purse, and keys.I quickly opened the door,and ran. I was so scared that i didn't even dare look back. As soon as i got on my motorcycle, i zoomed off. I quickly dailed up dj. " hello?", said DJ. "...why...why me?", i said, while crying. "wha...what you mean?", Dj asked. " i mean out of all the people in the world, why does it have to be the person I train that tries to hurt me?", i responded. " Adrian did what to you?", dj yelled. One thing about DJ, he respects girls, and their personal space. "Yes, he tried to hurt me. I mean a few seconds before we arrived to the funeral place, he texted me saying," I have a surprise for you, are you ready? Dont try to hide because i'll know!", i responded,crying even more. I could tell by his voice that he was very angry. "Okay, where are you right now?", dj asked. "I'm 50 minutes away from my house,why?", i responded. "Ummm...meet me at the Papa's golden grill, okay",Dj said. I thought to myself, " in a moment like this, this man got the nerve to think about food". " Okay",i said, while hanging up the phone. Papa's golden grill was two blocks from where i was. One thing i didn't know was that when adrian grabbed me, he placed a tracking device on my engagement ring. Dj came with a doffel bag. "Why did you do that?", i asked. " Do what?",dj said. " Why did you bring that doffel bag?", i repeated. "Oh, you'll see later", Dj said. I started looking at my ring. " Hey, do you have a magnified glass?", i asked. "Yeah, why?",Dj asked. "Let me see it", i said. "Okay,here", dj said.  Chapter 2- Run for it As soon as Dj handed me the magnified glass, i quickly looked at my ring. "humph...this is one weird ring my fiance gave me", i said, underneath my breath. I handed it back the magnified glass to dj. " Now...I still can't believe that adrian tried to rape you", dj said. (beep) I looked through my purse,and grabbed my phone. When I turned on the screen of my phone, it said you have 5 new messages, 3 new voice mails, 3 missed calls,and 1 video messages. I said to myself now i know i haven't been gone for that long. As usual, i looked through my text messages first. First message was from becky, which said," I'm sorry...lil sis :( :(". Second message from Tony which said," Times hard,and i don't really think that we have that fit bound, i'm sorry :/ :(". I looked around. I looked at the video message. In the video, it was becky and tony drunk inside the same room. I jumped out of my seat, and i headed for the door. Dj quickly grabbed his duffel bag, and ran after me. Dj could tell that i was pissed off. I locked the wheels to the motorcycle with heavy chains. I jumped inside of dj's car, and said, "take me to this address". Without answering, dj quickly pressed the gas, and sped to that location. Once we got to becky's house, someone was throwing a block party. I opened the door, and quickly went inside. I ran up the stairs. I kicked the door open. Tony and Becky quickly jumped up. I got so angry that i grabbed the nearest thing I could see. *grabs a bamboo switch* "arrrggghh" I swung at becky and tony with all of my strength. When i was finished, becky and tony was twitching on the ground. I take a deep breath and starts to walk out the door. I run down the stairs and jumps inside of dj's car. "Are you alright?""Just shut up and drive" I throw my ring out the window as dj starts to drive off. I stare out the window while tears fall from my eyes. As dj starts to drive off, I heard two loud gun shots. *car stops* *gasps* I quickly think to myself. I jump out of the car and starts to run towards the building. "Becky!!!"I ran so fast that i couldn't even feel my feet. *enters room* Adrian looks at me. "H..." Before he could even say hi, i tackled him out the window. *crash* I start to punch the mess out of adrian. Dj quickly got out of the car and grabbed me off of adrian. He seats me inside the car. I kept screaming and crying.  Chapter 3- Memories I stopped,and took a picture of the house. I finally realized that i was no where near my house. I saw someone walking down the hill. I got his attention. "umm...excuse me...ummm...can you tell me exactly where i am?", i asked. The man looked at me, and then said," well,miss...you are in buckhead...basically saying"welcome to the ghetto". "Umm...thank you", i said.I started to jog back up the hill. (back at the house)     chapter 4- The unexpected Proposal HI chapter 5- The wedding H( Text: 2013 Images: 2013 Editing: jolynna jean-pierre All rights reserved. Publication Date: November 4th 2019 https://www.bookrix.com/-jojo24

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-vampirebund-sliver-eyes/

vampirebund sliver eyes love stands its self this is a dedicated to purple eyes Text: cold Images: jones Editing: carl Translation: english All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 19th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-vampirebund

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-claissa-romero-lolly-the-heart-breaker/

CLAISSA ROMERO LOLLY THE HEART BREAKER LOLLY THE HEART BREAKER LIE ONES APONE A TIME LIVED THIS GIRL NAMED SHADOW.SHE WAS AN ABNORMAL GIRL.SHE DIDNT HAVE MUCH FRIENDS.AND IF SHE HAD ANY FRIENDS THEY WERE GUYS.NOT REALLY GIRLS.BUT ONES IN A WHILE SHE'LL FALL IN LOVE.BUT IT NEVER WORKS OUT.SHE ALWAYS HURTS THEM. LIKE THIS ONE GUY THEY CALLED JOKER BIRD.HE DIDNT TRUST HER SO HE KEPT BREAKING UP WITH HER.THEN HIS FRIEND WICKED TOLD HER HE DIDNT TRUST HER.SHE WAS MAD BUT HELD IT IN.THEN THEY WERE GOING OUT DURING THE SUMMER.LETS JUST SAY THAT DIDNT QUIT WORK OUT. THEN THERE'S THIS GUY NAMED JJ. WHO LOVED HER WITH ALL HIS HEART.BUT SHE NEW SHE WAS GOING TO HURT HIM.SO SHE KEPT BREAKING UP WITH HIM.TO GO BACK OUT WITH JOKER BYRD.SO AT THE END OF THE YEAR SHE WAS WITH JJ.BUT HE WAS GONIG TO MOVE SO THEY HAD TO BREAK UP. REAL AND DURRING THE SUMMER SHE WAS WITH JOKER BYRD.BUT THEN SHE KEPT SAYING HE WAS CHEATING ON HER.SO HE DUMPED HER.AND IT KILLED HER.SO AT THE BEGNING OF 7TH GRADE SHE WROTE THIS LETTER.AND TOLD HIM THAT IT WAS FROM HER FRIEND LOLLY FROM MEXICO. THEN HE STARTED TO GET PISSED FOR NOT KNOWING HER.BUT SHE KEPT WRITEING THEM. UNTILL SHE REALILIZED THAT IF SHE KEPT WRITING THEM.IT WOULD KEEP TARING THERE FRIENSHIP A PART. SO ONE DAY AT LUNCH.SHE WAS REALLY PISSED AND ASKED HIM “IF HE WONTED TO NOW WHO LOLLY WAS”. AND OFCORSE HE SAID “YES” AND SHE SAID “I'M LOLLY, JOKER BRYD”.HE WAS SO PISSED AND STOPED TAKING TO HER FOR THE LONGEST TIME. THEN AFTER LIKE HAFT THE SCHOOL YEAR.HE STARTED TO TALK TO HER AGAIN.I MEAN ITS NOT LIKE SHE WAS HAPPY.WHEN SHE'D SEE HIM IN THE HALL AND HE WOULDN'T SAY HI.THEN SHE BEGAIN TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. END SHE LOVED HIM.SHE ALWAYS TOLD HIM SHE WAS SORRY.ALL HE SAID “ITS OKAY JUST FORGET ABOUT IT” SHE SAID “OK”.AFTER THEY GOT OVER IT THEY DISITED THEY'D JUST BE FRIENDS.AND PROMISE NOT TO HURT ONE ANOTHER LIKE THAT AGAIN. WELL THEY STILL TALK NOW BUT NOT AS MUCH AS THEY DID BEFORE.I GUESS THEY'RE RIGHT HIGH SCHOOL CHANGES EVERYONE SOME TIME.I GUESS IT WAS THERE TIME TO CHANGE.WELL THATS THE STORY OF LOLLY TGHE HEART BREAKER.HOPE YOU LIKED IT.THIS IS A TURE STORY ITS BASED ON ME AND MY FRIENDS.I HOPE NON OF YOU GUYS THAT READ IT DO THE SAME IT WILL MESS UP YOUR LIFE. Publication Date: April 24th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-bullet789

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-amy-lockhart-once-upon-a-dream/

Amy Lockhart Once Upon A Dream A Gambler's Nightmare I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven And by some chance I had brought my dice along And there I stood And I hollered "Someone fade me" But the passengers, they knew right from wrong. For the people all said sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat People all said sit down Sit down you're rockin' the boat. And the devil will drag you under By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat, Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, Sit down you're rockin' the boat. I sailed away on that little boat to heaven And by some chance found a bottle in my fist And there I stood,Nicely passin' out the whisky But the passengers were bound to resisist For the people all said beware You're on a heavenly trip People all said beware Beware, you'll scuttle the ship. And the devil will drag you under By the fancy tie 'round your wicked throat Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down Sit down, you're rockin' the boat And as I laughed at those passengers to heaven (laughs) (gasps!) A great big wave came and washed me over board! And as I sank And I hollered "someone save me!" That's the moment I woke up Thank the lord And I said to myself, sit down, sit down, You're rockin' the boat! Said to myself sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat And the devil will drag you under With a soul so heavy you'd never float, Sit down, sit down, sit down Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat (Long Gasp) What a horrible nightmare! Better go find Nathan. He will need me to help him set up for the big game. Publication Date: June 4th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-piggylover101

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-kayle-mcfarlane-mohawk/

Kayle Mcfarlane MOHAWK tyrihfnjdfnwjtrhnejn y higtfytregyjoykykrtirejtiojprojtepotjeprojptorje Text: tfutyutyuru Images: tutyutyuyu Editing: tyyuyutyuty Translation: yyyutyutyutytyu All rights reserved. Publication Date: November 23rd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-lilliey6

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-hugs-and-kisses-welcome-to-your-so-called-insanity/

Hugs.And.Kisses Welcome To Your So Called Insanity Chapter 1 Chapter 1 It Begins: The Towers After Life, comes Death. Before Death, there is Life. There is no in between. Life and Death are defined by clear lines. But what if the line between the Living and the Dead was blurred? That, dear readers, is what we are here to find out. For the line was blurred one stormy Halloween with the birth of one girl. Her name is Aubrey Peterson, later to be known as Aubrey Skellington, and in the distant future, as the ruler of Halloween Town, her name changing once more. But our story begins long before our Pumpkin Princess was royalty, when her heart still beat with every breath she took. This story begins while Aubrey still walks in the land of the living, when nightmares filled her sleep with terror and monsters taunted her from the shadows. And so, it begins… November 1, 2000; 11:31 p.m. Rachel Peterson woke up to screams that had grown all too familiar over the past five years. "Mom, Aubrey's doing it again!" Her fourteen-year-old son Ryan yelled. Rachel threw her covers back and slipped out of her bed, her hand wrapping around a bottle of pills on her nightstand. She opened it as she ran down the hall, stopping at the door of her youngest daughter's bedroom. Her oldest children were in there already, pinning a much smaller figure to the single bed. This figure was their eight year old sister, Aubrey, who was thrashing in her older siblings' grip like she was having a seizure, her mouth screaming out incoherent words. The shattered remains of a lamp lay strewn across the opposite corner, a headless doll lying in the middle of the mess. Rachel dumped two of the pills into her hand and forced them into Aubrey's mouth, covering it until she felt her daughter swallow. A minute ticked by. The screams grew quieter and quieter until they were silent, and the violent thrashing gradually decreased into nothing. Aubrey was asleep again. Emily looked over at her mother, her blonde hair pulled back with the headband she slept in, a light perspiration dotting her forehead. Her soft features were worried. "Aubrey's going to be all right now, isn't she?" Rachel nodded, hugging Emily and Ryan. "She's just sleeping now." She kissed the top of both her children's heads. "You two get back to sleep." They both nodded and walked off to their separate rooms. With a sigh, Rachel walked back to her room and sat down at her computer desk. Her finger hovered over the power switch before she pushed it in. Once it was on, she opened her e-mail and began scanning the list. She double clicked on one whose subject read 'Aubrey'. 'Rachel, I've been going over our sessions for hours and I still can't tell you why Aubrey is experiencing these nightmares. The hypnosis therapy still seems to be holding up, and she seems to be doing well at school and at home. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but we may need to have a serious talk later. Jenny' Rachel quickly looked at the time sent. 11:27 p.m. She moved the mouse over the 'reply' button and clicked. Quickly, she typed out a reply. 'Jenny, She just had another one. The pills are working, but I think she's starting to build up a resistance. I've had to start using two instead of one. I'm starting to get really worried. What if the therapy is wearing thin? Rachel' She folded her hands nervously on her lap, staring at the screen. She looked up as a 'ping!' sounded from her speakers. She opened the e-mail, her hands shaking. 'I'll set up an appointment for tomorrow. We'll talk afterwards.' Rachel shut off her computer and shoved her chair away from her desk. Lying down on her bed, she closed her eyes and tried to get to sleep. But alas, it eluded her. She was too worried about what was going to happen the next day. Talking to her daughter's psychiatrist, best friend or not, never brought good news. November 2, 2000; 1:03 p.m. Aubrey walked into Jenny's office, shutting the door behind her with a quiet 'click.' Jenny looked up from her laptop. "Hello Aubrey." "Hi." Aubrey walked over and sat down on the cushioned, wooden chair in front of Jenny's desk. Jenny smiled at her, flashing a bright, slightly crooked smile. "I'll be done in just a second. Too much paperwork." Aubrey nodded and sat back in her chair, studying the face of the woman in front of her. Jenny had a cute, cherub-like face framed by dark, wavy amber hair falling from the cute, high resting ponytail on the top of her head. Wide, violet-blue eyes sat above a small, cute nose and cute, pouty lips. All in all, Jenny had a cute face with the body of a pro-athlete. But she was a therapist. Why? Because it paid better, and caused less sweating. "So," Aubrey blinked, realizing that her session had started, and started to pay attention, "How is everyone?" Aubrey shifted in her chair. "Ryan made three touchdowns in his last football game." "That's nice. And Emily?" "I... I think she has a violin recital in a couple of weeks. I've been hearing her practice for at least a month." Jenny smiled at her. "You must be excited about that." Aubrey nodded. "I like hearing Emily play. She's really good." Jenny folded her hands and rested her chin on them. "And what about you, Aubrey? Have you done any more drawings?" Aubrey's gaze drifted to the floor. Jenny put her hand down on her desk and leant across it slightly. "Aubrey, I asked you a question. I'd like an answer." A mumbled reply. "Eye contact, please." Aubrey raised her eyes from the floor and back to Jenny's face. "My mom took my sketchbook away. She said my pictures were 'disturbing'." "I'll see what I can do about getting it back. How about you go get something to eat from the cafeteria while I talk to your mom?" "Nn'kay." Aubrey slid out of her chair and walked out the door. "Mom, can I have a couple of dollars?" Rachel nodded and pulled three dollars out of her purse. Aubrey took them with quick thanks, and her mother walked into Jenny's office. "So?" Rachel asked, sitting down. "Well, for one thing, you shouldn't have taken Aubrey's sketchbook away." Rachel reached into her purse and pulled out a drawing pad with a black cover, 'Aubrey's Sketchbook' written across the front in surprisingly neat handwriting. "Have you seen what she draws, Jenny?" Jenny reached over and took the book from her. "Yes. They're almost professional quality." She began flipping through the pages, stopping on the last one. "I realize that, but they terrify me! And has she told you about the doll?" Jenny arched an eyebrow curiously. "The doll?" Rachel buried her face in her hands. "I bought her a new doll for her birthday. Yesterday morning, she cut its head off. She said it was for the monster under her bed. She's sleeping with a headless doll, Jenny!" "Did you take if from her?" Rachel looked across the desk at her best friend from between her fingers. "No. It was gone this morning. She said the monster wanted the rest." Jenny closed Aubrey's sketchbook with a sigh. "Rachel… look, I don't know any other way to say this. I believe Aubrey has a mental illness called psychosis dementia." Rachel took her head out of her hands. "You think she's insane?" "I think that it would be best for everyone if you had her… institutionalized." Rachel stared at her, shocked. "You want me to send my daughter, my eight-year-old daughter, in an asylum?" "There are children's hospitals that can help with these things, Rachel. If you don't commit Aubrey now, it may get worse when she's older. There may be no way to cure it. Catching it early is the best way." Rachel bit her lip, tears coming to her eyes. "God… Jenny, I can't…" "Rachel, I know a good place. They've got the some of the best doctors around. They'll take good care of Aubrey, I promise." "How am I going to afford it?" "I can sponsor her. And…" Jenny bit her lip. "And if, after they examine her, they declare her clinically insane, then no one will have to pay for it." Rachel grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. After a moment, she looked up. "I… alright. Alright, I'll do it. What do I have to do?" Jenny smiled at Rachel sympathetically and grabbed three papers off of her desk, handing them over the desk. "Just fill these out. I have to make a phone call." November 5, 2000; 8:57 a.m. "Mom, why are we here?" Emily asked, tugging on Rachel's shirt as they climbed out of the car. Ryan smirked at her. "It's a nuthouse." Rachel shushed him. "Ryan!" She looked down at Aubrey, who was clutching her sketchbook to her chest. "Come on sweetie." She offered Aubrey her hand. Aubrey looked at it like it was going to bite her. "Emily, could you…?" Emily walked over and took Aubrey's hand. Rachel sighed, walking toward the clear doors at the building's entrance. Emily held Aubrey's hand tighter as Rachel walked over to the desk at the front. "I'm here to see Dr. McIntire." The receptionist looked up. "Do you have an appointment?" "Yes, it should be under Rachel Peterson." The sound of clicking filled the room for a minute. "Ah, yes. Dr. McIntire is expecting you. His office is just around the corner." "Thank you." Rachel walked off, leaving Ryan, Emily, and Aubrey to follow her. "Dr. McIntire?" She asked, stepping into his office. The man at the desk was around thirty years old, with black hair that was pulled back into a ponytail that rested against the nape of his neck. Muscles that showed that he clearly worked out, and often, covered his arms, showing through his coat. He had a square jaw and statuesque features. "Ah, you must be Rachel Peterson." He stood up, offering her his hand. He was at least six four, maybe six five. "Welcome to The Towers." Rachel nodded. "Thank you." She shook his hand, up to her wrist disappearing in his grip. He released her hand and turned to the three kids. "And you must be Aubrey." He smiled at her. She shrunk away, behind Emily. He laughed. "Don't worry, I don't bite." Aubrey smiled a little, and her eyes drifted to a shadowed corner. Her expression turned to one of fear and she slid a little farther behind Emily. Dr. McIntire raised an eyebrow and straightened back up. "Why don't I give you the tour?" Rachel nodded. "That would be nice." They walked out of the office and turned down the hall, heading away from the receptionist's desk. "Aubrey will be staying on the second floor with one of my other patients, Sandra Williams." Dr. McIntire told them. "The first floor is where the staff offices are, and the patients who require twenty-four hour care or who have greater needs." He nodded to a thin boy being pushed around in a wheelchair by a woman in a nurse's uniform. His legs were missing from the knee down and an eye patch covered his left eye. The boy smiled at him. Dr. McIntire smiled back. "Hello Bobby. Are you going to the dayroom?" The boy nodded enthusiastically, and the nurse wheeled him away. "That poor boy…" Emily murmured. "Bobby was trapped in a blizzard. Frostbite took both his legs, and his eye and tongue had to be cut out. He can't speak." Emily and Ryan both winced and looked down at Aubrey. They lagged behind their mother and Dr. McIntire as they talked. "Ryan, I don't want to leave Aubrey here." Emily whispered. Ryan glanced down at Aubrey. She was watching the back of the nurse who had wheeled Bobby away. Looking back up at Emily, he said, "What choice do we have? If we don't send her now, it's just gonna get worse. Mom can't keep forcing those dream suppressants down her throat. No one knows if they'll have any side effects, and they're just too expensive. The only thing we can do is get her some professional help." Emily pouted and turned away from her brother. "That doesn't mean I have to like it." She looked down as Aubrey stopped walking. "Aubrey, what's wrong?" Aubrey shrank away from the door they were walking by. "It's here." She whispered. Rachel turned around to see Emily kneeling down next to Aubrey. Dr. McIntire did as well. "Emily, what are you doing?" Emily looked from her sister to her mom, and then let go of Aubrey's hand. The little girl didn't move, just continued to look at the closed door. "She won't go past that door. She thinks something's in there." Dr. McIntire frowned. "One of our critical patients was in there a few days ago. He died two days ago." He walked over to Aubrey and knelt down next to her. "Aubrey, what do you think is in there?" Aubrey looked over at him, her red eyes scared. "It." "What's it?" "The thing that killed my dad." He nodded. "I see." He walked over to the door and unlocked it. Pushing it open, he said, "See, Aubrey? Nothing." She didn't say anything, just walked over to Emily and took her hand again. After Dr. McIntire had shown them around, all five walked back to the entrance. Rachel knelt down and kissed Aubrey's cheek before walking out. Emily and Ryan followed her, the prior giving her one last look over her shoulder before climbing in the backseat. Dr. McIntire put a hand on Aubrey's shoulder. "Why don't I show you your new room? All your things have already been brought up." "Sure." Aubrey replied, following him up to the second floor. They stopped in front of a door with the number '319' written on it. "Here we are." He knocked on the door. "Sandy, I'm coming in." Pushing it open, he nudged Aubrey forward. She stumbled into the room, looking around. The room was painted a dull, off-white, with gray tiled floor. The fluorescent lights on the ceiling had cages around their covers, and thick bars were bolted onto the windows. There were two hospital beds in the room. One was neatly made up, obviously Aubrey's, and the other had a figure sitting on it. She was only about four seven, and didn't look very old. Deeply tanned skin was stretched just a little too tight over her frame, and dark black hair was cut to her shoulders, framing a slightly-round face. Dark emerald eyes framed by thick lashes studied both of the people who entered the room. A slightly large, rounded nose sat above thin, pink lips. "Is she my new roommate?" Her voice held a slight Spanish accent. Dr. McIntire nodded. "Sandy, this is Aubrey. She'll be staying with you." He patted Aubrey's shoulder and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Sandy walked over to Aubrey. She was about six inches taller than her. She bent down a little so she could look Aubrey in the eye. Sandy smiled. "Hi, I'm Sandy. What's your name?" "Aubrey." She answered hesitantly. "You really don't have to be scared." Sandy told her. "The people here might be crazy, but they're harmless." She walked over and sat back down on her bed, patting the spot next to her. Aubrey walked over slowly, hopping up next to her. "Can I see your wrists?" Sandy asked. Aubrey blinked, startled, but set her sketchbook in her lap and held out her wrists. "Well, you're not a cutter. That's good; we probably don't need two in one room." Aubrey noticed the pale scars on the bottom of Sandy's forearms. Sandy looked at her neck. "And you didn't try to hang yourself. What am I saying, of course you didn't. You're only, what, seven? Eight?" "I turned eight six days ago." Aubrey told her quietly. "So your birthday's on Halloween, huh?" Sandy smiled. "I bet you like all kinds of spooky stuff, huh?" Aubrey nodded. Sandy put a hand under her chin, looking in her eyes. "Well, you obviously don't abuse drugs." She dropped her hand and looked at Aubrey. "So why are you in here?" "I… I have nightmares. And I see things." Sandy nodded. "Hallucinations? Huh, I haven't seen a case that didn't involve drugs before. You don't have an eating disorder or something do you? I mean, you eat all your food at meals and stuff, right?" Aubrey nodded. "Just making sure. You're pretty skinny." "My mom said I have a fast metabolism. It means that my body processes the food to fast and I can't get fat." Sandy blinked. "You're pretty smart for an eight year old." She looked at the sketchbook in Aubrey's lap. "Can I see that?" Aubrey handed it to her warily. "You probably won't like it. Everyone else thinks my drawings are disturbing." Sandy flipped through the pages, looking at the pictures. The first was a car, driving on a deserted road. The next was of a shadow with a pair of leering eyes and a wide mouth. The next was of the car flying off of a cliff. Then of the car's crash at the bottom. The driver's face had been burned off, leaving just the skull. "What is this?" "How my dad died, I think. He crashed off a cliff." Sandy pointed at the burning skull. "So, that's him?" Aubrey nodded. Sandy flipped the pages. The next was of a pair of glowing red eyes sitting above a mouth full of crooked fangs. "What's this?" "The monster under my bed. He let me see him because I gave him my doll. He likes to eat dolls. But I couldn't see anything other than his eyes and mouth." Sandy looked at the next pages. They all featured monsters and such. She stopped on the last page. The drawing consisted of a large room, with glowing neon lights in every corner. Bats consisting of glowing yellow bones hung upside-down from chains across the top. There were skeletons held in chains and in between huge clamps. The center was blank, though, the edges of the picture ending abruptly. "That's a room from my nightmares. I've never seen that part." She pointed to the blank spot. Sandy paused for a moment. "Wait… if that's a place from your nightmares, then… you've actually seen all these things?" Aubrey nodded. "Except my dad's crash. That's just what I think happened." Sandy handed her the book back. "This thing… these are amazing. I mean, I haven't met anyone who could draw so well. Not even the professional stuff that the doctors have hanging in their offices…" "Yeah, everyone in my family seems to be talented. My older brother Ryan, he's fourteen, can play just about any sport you throw at him. He's been MVP on almost every team he's ever played on, and of course he's been on the varsity since he got into High School. He's, like, the only freshman. And my sister Emily, she's thirteen, can play the violin, piano, flute, clarinet, trumpet, and drums. And she's learning saxophone and trombone." Sandy touched Aubrey's hand. "What about you?" Aubrey bit her lip. "I can draw and sing." Sandy smirked. "Hey, that's better than me. I can doodle stick figures and I'm completely tone deaf." Aubrey smiled at her sadly. "What's wrong?" Aubrey shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. "I don't wanna stay away from my mom." Sandy hugged her, and Aubrey cried into her shoulder. "Shh… it's okay…" She soothed, rocking the younger girl back and forth. "Everything's going to be okay. You'll like it here." She smiled, stroking Aubrey's hair in an almost motherly way. "I'll take care of you whenever you need me." Chapter 2 Chapter 2 New in Town "All right girls, lights out!" Came the loud call of the night nurse, ringing a bell that barely sounded over her call. Aubrey watched as Dr. McIntire tied a rubber tourniquet around her upper arm. "Now, this may hurt a bit." He warned, pushing the IV into the popping vein in her hand. Sandy watched in amazement as Aubrey's face remained stoic. "This'll help you go to sleep easier." He told her, taping it. He walked over to Sandy's bed, pulling a bottle out of his pocket. He opened it and slid a pill out, popping it in her mouth. "Swallow." She did, opening her mouth to show him that it was gone. He nodded, satisfied, and walked out. Sandy made a strained face, and then spat a wet pill into her hand. Aubrey watched this with an interested look. "How'd you do that?" "Lots and lots of practice." She replied, pulling a box out from under her bed. Tossing the pill in, she set it back down and kicked it under. Aubrey blinked as her vision started to blur. Sandy smiled her face distorting. "Looks like your anesthesia's kicking in. See you in the morning." Aubrey's head fell back to her pillow, her eyes closing before she even hit the pillow. .o0o. "Unhh… my head…" Aubrey raised a hand and placed it over her temples. She shivered and reached for her blankets with the other one, her eyes snapping open as her hand ran over what seemed to be hard ground instead of her thin, uncomfortable mattress. She sat up, looking around. Dead trees surrounded her, shadows dancing beyond their reaches. The ground that she sat on was hard-packed dirt, devoid of any plant life whatsoever, and a chilled wind blew past the dry branches. Aubrey stood cautiously, turning slowly to look at her surroundings. "What kind of freaky dream is this?" Her eyes fell on the center of the clearing she was standing in. A giant tree stood there, its roots weaving in and out of the ground around it. The topmost of the branches seemed to be reaching almost to the sky, and decorating the trunk was a grinning jack-o-lantern, its smile sinister and twisted, bordering on the edge of insane. Aubrey walked over to it, climbing over the giant roots to reach the trunk. She ran her hands over the wood, surprised to feel that it was as smooth as the ground. She let out a surprised gasp as her fingers ran over the pumpkin's nose; it was warm. Pulling her hand back, the nose followed, rising from the bark. "It's a doorknob." Aubrey whispered, closing her fingers around it. But she quickly took her hand away. "What am I doing?" She muttered. "This is just a dream, there's no way that this is real." She paused, considering this. "But if it's not real… then it couldn't hurt to open it, right?" Aubrey reached for it again, and then hesitated. "But if I do, I could just be driving myself deeper into my psyche, completely shattering it, and making myself really insane." She paused. "And now I'm psychoanalyzing myself." Studying the door, she threw her hands in the air. "What the heck. I'm gonna open the crazy psycho door." Grabbing the handle, Aubrey twisted it and pulled it open. It gave surprisingly little resistance, opening with hardly any effort. Aubrey peered inside, only to see black. There was nothing on the other side of the door. Or was there? Were Aubrey's eyes deceiving her, or did she see movement in the shadows. Instinct told her to run, but her feet remained glued to the spot. Dozens of wispy black hands shot out of the darkness, wrapping around Aubrey's tiny form, and yanking her towards the door. That snapped her out of whatever trance she had been in, and Aubrey began fighting against the hands' pull, screaming and attempting to pull away. Her hands slipped off the edges of the smooth tree trunk when she tried to use it to stop herself, and she plunged headfirst into the shadows. .o0o. "Is she dead?" "I don't know. She sure looks it." A cold hand touched Aubrey's throat, searching for a pulse. The hand's owner let out a surprised yelp when they found one. "She's still alive!" Shuffling footsteps. "Yeah, she's breathing." A smacking noise. "No duh, Barrel. I just checked for a pulse, you idiot." "I'm not an idiot!" The sound of a fight reached Aubrey's ears, pulling her back into reality. She opened her eyes wearily, feeling like they were weighted with lead. Her blurred vision saw splotches of black, red, and purple. The voices she'd been hearing were coming from these splotches. The purple one smacked the red and black ones, who were rolling around on the ground. "Would you two shut up for one minute?" Aubrey shut her eyes, praying that whoever these three were, they'd just leave her alone. "We need to figure out what to do with her." A moment of silence. Aubrey risked opening her eyes again, her vision much clearer this time. The 'splotches' that she'd seen were three kids who looked her age. But they were all in Halloween costumes. One was dressed as a devil, another as a skeleton, and the last as a witch. The devil crossed his arms. "Let's take her Oogie Boogie!" Aubrey felt herself stiffen at those words. Even though she'd never heard them before, she felt an incredible, intangible terror as soon as the devil spoke them. She focused her gaze on the three. They were standing away from her, and none of them appeared to be paying much attention. Quietly, she started to crawl away. But she had barely made it a few feet when she heard a loud "Hey!" from behind her. She leapt to her feet and took off running, nearly slipping on the ground, which was the same smooth substance the tree had been. "Get her!" Shock ordered, running after her, Lock and Barrel not far behind. .o0o. Jack laughed quietly to himself as he heard the Mayor calling his name frantically. He really didn't like to worry the poor man, but he needed a break! Halloween was barely a week ago, and the Mayor already had him planning for next year. Not that Jack hadn't expected it; this was how it was every year. But Halloween was starting to lose his interest. Let's face it: Jack Skellington, the all powerful Pumpkin King, was bored. Very bored. He lifted his head as he heard a scream. "Leave me alone!" "Ha! Not a chance!" "Run faster, she's getting away!" "Not for long she isn't!" Jack frowned. The first voice he hadn't recognized, but the last three he sure did; they belonged to Lock, Shock, and Barrel. He ran deeper into the Hinterlands. Whatever those three were up to, it couldn't be good. Jack stopped as he saw a small, pale figure burst out of the trees in front of him, frantically looking over their shoulder. So frantically, in fact, that they didn't see the tall figure standing in front of them and slammed right into Jack's legs. Aubrey fell back onto her but, holding her head. She looked up to see what she ran into, her mouth dropping slightly as her eyes took in the bony form of a skeleton. She turned around as footsteps ran up behind her, shrinking back as the three that were chasing her ran up. They stopped, though, when they caught sight of the skeleton. For a moment, nothing was said. But the devil stepped forward, his arms crossed defiantly. "Hand her over, Pumpkin puss. We found her first." Lock growled, trying his hardest to seem scary. "Yeah!" Shock and Barrel chorused. "We've got dibs!" Shock told him. Jack crossed his arms. "You can't call 'dibs' on a person, Shock. They aren't property." Barrel put his hands on his hips. "Doesn't matter! We found her, and we're taking her to Oogie Boogie!" Lock smacked him in the back of the head. "Shut up!" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Oogie Boogie? Not a chance." The trio reached into their pockets, pulling out almost identical slingshots. "Alright, but you asked for it." Lock warned. All three pulled back on the rubber bands. Jack's eyes narrowed. Taking a deep breath, he let out a terrible roar, one that sent the crows flying from the trees. All three of the trio dropped their weapons in fear. Shock glared at Jack from behind her mask. "We'll be back, Jack!" She cried, grabbing her slingshot and running off. "Yeah, what she said!" The boys yelled, doing the same. Jack let out a sigh and looked down at the figure at his feet, expecting them to be scared out of their mind. Instead, they were laughing. "Would you do that again?" They, obviously a girl, asked. He raised an eyebrow and offered her a hand to help her up. "Weren't you scared?" She shrugs. "Terrified. But that was cool." Jack couldn't help smiling. "What's your name?" "Aubrey. Aubrey Peterson." She replied. "I'm Jack Skellington. It's nice to meet you." He shook her hand. He pulled back, surprised to find that her touch was warm. "Aubrey, you aren't dead, are you?" Aubrey shook her head. "I don't think so. I'm really not even sure where I am or how I ended up here. I thought I was dreaming, but…" Jack sat down, motioning for her to do so as well. "Why don't you tell me what happened?" Aubrey found herself nodding and sitting down next to Jack without any hesitation. She felt like she could trust him, unlike those other three that had found her. And when she opened her mouth, everything seemed to just spill out. Jack listened patiently, interjecting with a question every so often. He was silent for a few minutes when Aubrey finished. Then, he looked over at her. "Well, I think that the only way to get you back is to find this door of yours. Do you have any idea where it is?" Aubrey shook her head. "I was just trying to get away from those three." Jack smiled at her and stood up. "Don't worry; I'll help you." He offered her his hand again. She took it gratefully, holding onto it as they walked back into the Hinterlands. "Let's see, you came from that way," Jack pointed in the direction that Aubrey had crashed through, "So let's head there first." She just nodded and followed Jack, her small hand still entwined in his long fingers. After searching for almost an hour, Aubrey spotted a flash of orange in the dead, brown-grey trees. "Hey, there it is!" She ran over, letting go of Jack's hand. He followed after her, examining the door. 'This looks almost like the Halloween Town door.' He mused as Aubrey turned the pumpkin's nose. She hesitated in pulling it open though, and looked up at him. "What if I come back tomorrow night?" Jack paused to think. "I'll tell you what; I'll send my dog Zero to stay here and wait for you, how's that?" Aubrey nodded and tugged the door open, hopping back through. It shut behind her with a quick snap, leaving Jack no chance to look and see what was lying behind the door. He studied the doorknob curiously. 'I really shouldn't.' He thought, reaching for it. He tugged on it fruitlessly. Jack frowned. "Odd." He muttered, releasing his hold and walking away, back toward town. If it was locked, then how in the world did Aubrey get through? .o0o. Aubrey groaned. "Ah… my head…" She sat up, lifting her hand to her head. She felt a slight tug, and stopped short. Opening her eyes wearily, she saw the blurred outline of the IV tube that Dr. McIntire had placed in her arm. 'I'm… back?' Looking around, she saw Sandy, sound asleep on the bed opposite her's. Glancing at the clock on the table in between them, Aubrey saw that it was barely two thirty. Her eyes started to close, and she fell back to her pillow. .o0o. Sandy yawned as the loud dinging of the nurse's bell sounded through the hallways of The Towers. She looked over at Aubrey, surprised to see the younger girl already awake and dressed. "When did you get up?" "About two thirty. I couldn't fall back asleep." Sandy looked at the dripping IV dangling from its stand. "But the anesthesia…" "Doesn't work as well as they thought, apparently." Sandy walked over to Aubrey's bed and sat down. "Is something wrong?" After a moment of thought, Aubrey smiled at her. "I'll tell you later." Chapter 3 Chapter 3 Halloween with presents Sandy sat wide-eyed and enraptured as Aubrey recounted the events of her 'dream'. "Wow. That's a very detailed dream." Aubrey shook her head. "That's just it. I don't think it was a dream. The only dreams I've had since I was four are the kind that terrify me into waking up screaming in the middle of the night." "But there's no way that it could've been real, Aubrey. Places like that just don't exist." "I know, and that's what I thought at first too. But look." She held up her hands and pulled up her jeans to show Sandy the cuts and scrapes there. "These are from when I fell. I didn't have them yesterday." Sandy still looked skeptical. "I dunno…" Aubrey smiled. "I'm going back tonight. Or I'm going to try to, anyway. That'll prove it isn't a dream." -That night…- Aubrey opened her eyes, grinning widely as the leering face of a wooden jack-o-lantern greeted her. "I knew it! I wasn't dreaming!" She scrambled over the roots, pulling the door open and jumping inside. "Ow!" She stood up, her hands over her butt. "That landing really hurt… well, at least I wasn't unconscious this time." She looked around nervously. "But… where do I go?" A high barking reached Aubrey's ears, and she looked around, trying to locate the source. A semi-transparent white dog floated up in front of her face, panting happily. Aubrey let out a surprised shriek, which was met by the dog's surprised yelp. It flew behind a nearby tree. Aubrey put a hand over her racing heart and took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. After she began breathing normally and her heart rate slowed down, she walked over to the tree that the dog had flown behind. It shrunk away a bit. "It's okay; I won't hurt you, I promise." She soothed, holding her hand out. "You're Zero, right?" The dog barked happily and flew out, licking her hand and rubbing his head against it. Surprisingly, he felt very solid. "Well, well. Look who's back." Aubrey jumped up to see Lock, Shock, and Barrel standing behind her. Zero flew through Aubrey's chest, giving her chills, and barked at the three of them. Shock glared. "Ugh, it's Bonehead's dog." She swiped a hand at him. "Move it, mutt!" Zero growled and bit Shock's fingers. She yelped and pulled her hand back. Zero flew in the other direction, yapping at Aubrey to follow. She did, turning and chasing after him. "Shock, you okay?" Lock asked. "Go get her!" Shock snarled, holding her hand. Lock and Barrel glanced at each other before chasing after Aubrey. "Hey, I see her!" Barrel shouted minutes later. Lock braked quickly. "Yeah, and I see Jack waiting for her at the gate!" Both boys turned and ran back the way they came. Jack looked at the forest line, waiting for Zero to come out. He'd whistled for him almost five minutes ago; where was he? A happy barking reached Jack's (nonexistent) ears and he smiled as he saw his dog emerge from the trees. His smile widened as the timid figure from last night. "Aubrey!" He waved at her. She walked over. "Hi Jack. So… I'm back." Jack chuckled. "Well, if this is going to become a nightly adventure, I believe I should show you around." He offered her his hand. "Are you sure?" "It's my job; what kind of ruler would I be if I didn't show my guests around?" Aubrey laughed and grabbed his hand, walking into Town. "Is that a guillotine?" "Yes. That would be why it's called Guillotine Gate." -November 1, 2001- Aubrey looked around, searching for Jack's bony figure amongst the Hinterland's trees. "Jack?" Zero flew up, licking Aubrey's face. "Down Zero, down boy!" She laughed. Zero backed off, still smiling in that odd little way dogs can. "Oh, I see. The Mayor already has Jack busy?" Zero shook his head. "Then what…? Ah well. I guess I'll see once we get to town, huh?" xXx As Aubrey passed under Guillotine Gate, she was surprised to see the square almost empty. "Aubrey!" She looked up to see the Clown riding toward her. "Hi." She waved. "Where is everyone?" "Jack called a meeting." 'A meeting?' Aubrey thought. 'Since when does Jack call meetings?' Obviously, he could tell what she was thinking, because he gave her a smirk. "He said it was important." He nodded his head toward the town hall and rode off. After a moment's consideration, she followed after him. Aubrey wasn't really surprised to see that the decorations from the night before had been removed. Looking around the crowded hall, Aubrey frowned as she saw that there weren't any seats left. She let out a gasp as she felt a pair of bony hands grab her waist and felt herself get lifted up. After a brief moment, she grabbed onto the branch above her head and pulled herself up, settling in to get a better view. She smiled down at the Hanging Man that had boosted her up, and then looked over to see Sally on the Hanging Tree's other branch. She waved at the rag doll, who smiled and waved back. Both turned their attention to the stage when Jack stepped up to the microphone. The spotlight in the rafters clicked on, sending the bats who were roosting there flying. "Listen everyone. I want to tell you about Christmas Town. There were objects so peculiar, they were not to be believed, all around, things to tantalize my brain. It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen and as hard as I try, I can't seem to describe like a most improbable dream. He began to walk away from the podium to the other side of the stage as he continued. "But you must believe when I tell you this; it's as real as my skull and it does exist. Here, let me show you." Aubrey let out a little gasp, as did everyone else in the hall, as Jack tugged on the cord to open the curtains, revealing a (quite dead) tree covered with Christmas lights and two stools. Jack picked up a brightly wrapped box off of the one closest to him; a Christmas present. "This is a thing called a present. The whole thing starts with a box-" "A box?" The Harlequin demon interrupted. The devil stood up to get a better look. "A box? Is it steel?" "Are there locks?" The werewolf jumped in. "Is it filled with a pox?" The Harlequin demon called out again. The devil laughed. "A pox? How delightful, a pox!" Jack gave a slight cough, drawing everyone's attention back to the stage. "If you please. Just a box with bright-colored paper. And the whole thing's topped with a bow." Hazel and Zoë flew over the crowd's heads, floating around Jack. "A bow?" Zoë questioned. "But why?" Hazel continued. "How ugly. What's in it? What's in it?" They asked unanimously. Jack pulled the present away from the witches' prying eyes, and fingers. "That's the point of the thing, not to know!" Jack blinked as Clown, who had somehow gotten a seat up front, used his extendable arm to take the box from him. At this point, the audience began to try and guess what was in the box. "It's a bat!" Clown yelled. "Will it bend?" The Creature Under the Stairs, who was seated next to Clown, asked. "It's a rat!" Clown guessed again, moving the box away from the C.U.t.S as he tried to touch it. "Will it break?" "Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake!" The swamp monster spoke up. Jack seemed to be getting frustrated as he took the present back from Clown. "Listen now, you don't understand. That's not the point of Christmas land." Confused murmurs broke out among the crowd. They couldn't seem to grasp the fact that not everything in the world was scary. "Now pay attention." Jack ordered. He set the present back on its stool and turned to the other stool, picking up a stocking. "We pick up an oversized sock. And hang it, like this, on the wall." Jack proceeded to demonstrate this action. But just as he got started, he was interrupted yet again, this time by Mr. Hyde. "Oh, yes, but does it still have a foot?" He inquired. His hat lifted up, revealing his medium counterpart. "Let me see, let me look!" His hat lifted to reveal the smallest of the Mr. Hydes. "Is it rotted and covered in gook?" Jack bit his lip. "Um, let me explain." Mr. Hyde, all three of them, sat back down, slightly embarrassed. "There's no foot inside, but there's candy. Or sometimes it's filled with small toys." At the words 'candy' and 'toys', the children were suddenly paying attention, and had to put their two cents in. "Small toys?" The mummy, Tut, and winged demon, Bart, cried in unison. "Do they bite?" "Do they snap?" "Or explode in the sack?" "Or perhaps they just spring out and scare girls and boys!" Corpse Kid giggled from his father's shoulders. And in came the Mayor, who was manning the spotlight. "What a splendid idea, this Christmas sounds fun! I fully endorse it, let's try it at once!" He slipped at 'let's try', knocking the spotlight askew. Jack tried to get the now excited crowd back into a calmed state as the light danced around the room as he walked back to the podium, setting the stocking in his hand down on the way. "Everyone, please now, not so fast! There's something here that you don't quite grasp." The crowd murmured confusedly again, too excited for Jack's words to have any effect. Jack sighed and turned away from a moment. Aubrey knew that when Jack had to contemplate something, especially something like this, it couldn't be good. When he turned back around, his signature 'Pumpkin King' grin was on his face. The lights illuminating the tree and stools behind him died down as he started, leaving only the brightly colored lights visible, as well as the faint outline of the tree they hung on. "But the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last, for the ruler of this Christmas land," Jack was no longer on stage, but walking down into the aisle between the seats, "Is a fearsome kind with a deep mighty voice, least that's what I've come to understand." 'What is he saying?' Aubrey thought to herself. A quick glance over at Sally let her see that she wasn't buying a word of Jack's new attitude. But everyone else seemed to be eating it up eagerly. "And I've also heard it told that he's something to behold, like a lobster, huge and red," He pulled out Behemoth's tongue for emphasis, letting it go as he finished the sentence, "When he sets out to slay with his rain gear on, carting bulging sacks with his big great arms! That is so I've heard it said. And on a dark cold night, under full moonlight, he flies into the fog like a vulture in the sky!" He jumped back on stage, crouching there for a brief moment before turning back to the crowd. "And they call him Sandy Claws." The stage lights turned red as Jack finished, giving him a, most likely, desired effect of creepiness. He chuckled darkly as the crowd cheered. Aubrey jumped off of the Hanging Tree's branches and walked out of the building, Sally not far behind her. "Aubrey!" The little girl stopped and turned around. Sally knelt down next to her. "That isn't what Christmas is like at all, is it?" Aubrey shook her head. "That first part, the happy, jolly part; that was all true, like Jack said, but-" "Ah, Aubrey!" Both girls looked up to see Jack walking toward them. "Sally." He greeted courteously. Sally nodded, looking embarrassed. "If you'll excuse me…" She muttered, walking hurriedly toward Dr. Finklestein's lab. Jack stared after her for a moment before turning to Aubrey. "Well, did you like it?" "Jack… that… that wasn't Christmas. You turned it into Halloween with presents." She reprimanded. He looked hurt. "Yes, I know… but I had to give them what they wanted-" "But what you gave them isn't Christmas." She restated. Jack knelt down so that he was eye-level with her. "I know, I know. But I would appreciate your support, of all people's, on this." Aubrey bit her lip, gazing at the ground. With a sigh, she looked back up at Jack's face. "All right. I still don't think this is a good idea, but I'll try to help." Jack smiled brightly at her. "Good, because I need your help on a few things…" He stood up, walking with her over toward Skellington Manor. .o0o. "Jack, this really just looks… weird." Aubrey said, looking at their nights work. The thing that Jack needed her help with was decorating his room in a Christmas-y style. Considering that it was already decorated with gargoyle heads, spider webs, and an electric chair, it wasn't an easy task. "Well, I think it looks wonderful." Jack stated proudly, with a glance at his clock. "Whoops, look at the time! Come on, we'd better get you home." It was almost midnight; which meant it was time for Aubrey to go home, and Jack to go to bed. Aubrey nodded and followed Jack down the stairs. When she woke up, back in The Towers, it was almost five a.m. She shook her head. She'd long since stopped trying to figure out how time could move so differently in Halloween Town; she'd fall asleep at ten, which was when Dr. McIntire put her anesthesia IV in, but when she arrived in Halloween Town, the sun would just be setting. And when she left, no matter what time it was there, it would hours later here. It was just plain confusing. With a sigh, she reached under her bed and pulled out her book light, then grabbed her book off the table. It was a Goosebumps book, one that she'd read almost seven times now, but it was one of the only 'scary' books that The Tower's library stocked, so she'd have to deal. "Back already?" A groggy voice called from across the room. Aubrey looked over to see Sandy sitting up in her bed, rubbing her eyes. She had gotten skinnier in the past year, probably because she really wasn't eating much. The doctors were beginning to think that she had an eating disorder. "Yeah." Aubrey replied, going back to her book. It was somewhat pointless to talk to Sandy when she was like this; she'd actually taken her pill the night before, which made her sleepy and stupid when she woke up. "Anything fun happen?" She asked with a yawn. "Jack's trying to take over Christmas." Sandy yawned again. "Oh. That's nice." She muttered, slumping back down to her pillow. xXx "So, Aubrey, any more nightly ventures last night?" Dr. McIntire questioned. Aubrey rolled her eyes. Ever since Sandy had accidentally mentioned Halloween Town in one of their 'group sessions', Dr. McIntire wouldn't leave it alone. "Yeah. I met the Tooth Fairy." She replied sarcastically. Dr. McIntire frowned. "Aubrey, I've asked you before not to use that tone with me." "Yes, and I've asked you not to bring up Halloween Town in our sessions, but you've yet to do so." She replied. Dr. McIntire frowned. Aubrey may have been only nine years old, but she was brilliant. He'd even planned on giving her an IQ test to see just how smart she really was. "Yes, but I am the adult here. And talking about this fantasy world of yours-" "It's not a fantasy." Aubrey interrupted with a harsh snap. "Aubrey, it's a town full of, from what you've told me, dead people. I think that you're trying to tell me something." Aubrey raised an eyebrow, confused. 'Trying to tell him something?' She thought. 'What the hell would I be trying to tell him?' Dr. McIntire leaned over his desk, peering at her over his reading glasses. "Aubrey, do you want to die?" "No." 'But I wish you would.' She thought evilly, glaring at him. 'I wish you would die so I wouldn't have to deal with these stupid meetings about my sanity anymore.' Dr. McIntire sat back in his chair, blinking. "I'm sorry; I seem to be getting a migraine. You can go." He waved her out, rubbing his eyes. She stood and walked out, still angry. Sandy looked up as Aubrey slammed the door to their room. "What's wrong?" She questioned as the younger girl flopped down onto her bed. "He asked me if I wanted to die." Aubrey grumbled into her pillow. Sandy was silent for a minute. "Do you?" Aubrey shoved herself up, looking at Sandy in shock and disgust. "No!" "Then don't let it bother you. If they see that it bothers you, they think that they've touched on something that's going wrong." Sandy flashed an almost cheeky grin. "Don't let 'em see ya' sweat." Aubrey nodded, lying back down. Really, what Dr. McIntire said hadn't really bothered her. It was the fact that she almost said yes. Chapter 4 Chapter 4 The Nightmare Before Christmas: Part 1 Life got increasingly weirder from then on. By the end of November, Jack had decided that not only was he going to celebrate Christmas, but that he was going to take it over! This was the last straw. "Jack, this is going too far!" I protested. "You're the Pumpkin King! You rule Halloween, not Christmas!" He shook his head. "Not anymore I don't. From now on, it's Christmas." I crossed my arms and looked away from him. "Santa isn't going to be too happy with that." I muttered. Jack paused, and scratched his head. "Hm, you've got a point there. I'll just have to tell Sandy that he can take a vacation this year." I sighed. Nothing I said could convince Jack not to go through with this. Or that it was 'Santa Claus', not 'Sandy Claws'. I sighed and looked down at the paper I was sketching on. My drawing was finished. Well, in all reality, it was actually just a tracing of Jack's favorite picture of himself (he's not vain; it's just a really good picture): the one of him standing out by Spiral Hill however many Halloweens ago, a pumpkin in his hand, the full moon casting eerie shadows over the scenery behind him. But my new picture wasn't of the Pumpkin King. Oh no, it was of Jack, but in a Santa Claus outfit, and Jack was now referring to himself as Santa Jack. Not Pumpkin King Jack. Santa. In my picture, Spiral Hill and the pumpkin patch were covered in snow, and Jack's terrifyingly evil expression was one of happiness, with the jack-o-lantern in his hand replaced by a Christmas present. "All right, I'm done." I sighed. Jack took the picture and beamed at me. "It's perfect, Aubrey!" Honestly, I really wasn't sure whether to take praise in that statement or go and shoot myself for helping Jack with this crazy plot of his. I looked up at his clock. It wasn't even eleven-thirty yet. "Jack, what do you need this for, anyway?" I asked. "Sally's already making your Santa- Sandy Claws outfit." He was about to answer when a scream cut through the air. Someone was at his door. "Hm, that must be the Mayor." He said cheerily. "Would you mind getting it Aubrey?" I sighed once again. It seemed to be all I did when I came to Halloween Town lately. "Yeah. Sure." 'Better than sitting up here and helping you destroy Christmas.' I added to myself. I slid down the last half of the banister, jumping off at the end and landing on my feet, if not somewhat unsteadily, on Jack's living room floor. After I regained some of my balance, I made my way to the door. Reaching for the knob, I heard high-pitched giggling, and stopped. Sneaking over to the window, I peered out to see Lock, Shock, and Barrel standing there. My eyes widened. The four of us weren't on the best terms in the world, mainly because they had tried to kidnap me so many times that I finally fought back. The more serious end results were Barrel's bloody nose, Lock's black eye, a large cut on Shock's forehead where I hit her with a tree branch, and my split lip. The less serious ones included, but were not limited to, bumps, bruises, scratches, bite marks, and one possible concussion when Barrel tripped over Lock (who I'd just pushed down). Needless to say, we didn't like each other much. I felt Jack put a hand on my shoulder. "Something wrong?" "It's Boogie's Boys." I told him with disgust. "What are they doing here?" "I invited them." Jack told me simply. I stared at him, my jaw dropping slightly. "Don't worry, they'll behave themselves here." He opened the door and the three of them walked in. Lock caught sight of me first, stopping and glaring at me. Shock and Barrel saw me a second later and did the same. I crossed my arms over my chest, returning the looks. A small smile of satisfaction flitted across my features when I saw that I was taller than all three of them. Jack had told me that Oogie had most likely placed them under a 'no-age' spell, so that they'd stay the age that they had died at until Oogie himself died. And according to Jack, it was going on almost three hundred years. Jack stepped between us, stopping the impending fight. "Aubrey, would you stay here while I talk Lock, Shock , and Barrel?" I nodded begrudgingly, and sat down next to the table in the middle of the room, picking up the pencil Jack had left there and beginning to draw on the paper in front of me. He ushered them into the kitchen. Oh yeah, like I wasn't going to hear him in there. "The job I have for you three is top secret. It requires craft, cunning, and mischief." Shock giggled. "And we thought you didn't like us, Jack." "Absolutely no one is to know about this. Now…" I couldn't hear what Jack said to them as he started to whisper, but a moment later, the four of them walked out. I purposely turned my gaze to the paper on the table in front of me, continuing to draw. If there was one thing Lock, Shock, and Barrel hated more than my presence, it was having me ignore them. Jack stopped them as they started to walk out the door, catching Lock by his tail and tugging him lightly back in. "And one more thing- leave that no account Oogie Boogie out of this!" The three of them had their masks on, but I could almost see the sickly sweet, obviously fake smiles on their faces that came through in their voices. "Whatever you say, Jack." Barrel chuckled. "Of course, Jack." Shock added. "Wouldn't dream of it, Jack." Lock assured him. I looked up to see that all three had one of their hands behind their back. I rolled my eyes as they ran out and Jack shut the door. "Maybe those three aren't as bad as I thought." Jack mused to himself. "You're joking, right?" I questioned. "They had their fingers crossed, all three of them!" "Oh, nonsense." He waved it off. I shook my head, blinking away the tears that were starting to form. Just in time, too, because Jack walked over and looked at my picture. It was another one of the little projects he had me doing; a drawing of my ideal room, Halloween Town style. Honestly, I didn't know why, but I did it anyway, just to keep him happy. Besides, it was better than drawing him in a Santa Clause outfit. "Almost done?" He asked. I nodded, handing him the picture and standing up. "I'm going over to Dr. Finklestein's for a while." I told him, walking outside. He nodded, examining my picture. "I'll come and get you in a little while." I opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind me and going down the stairs. I stumbled on the last step, falling on my hands and knees. I stood and looked at my stinging palms. "And now I'm bleeding. This must be a really great day." I muttered, walking off toward the Acid Works. After shoving open the heavy gate, I slid inside, making sure not to step on any of the doctor's many frogs that were hopping everywhere. I shut it just as quickly, making sure that none of the amphibians tried to escape. Dr. Finklestein's frogs weren't exactly normal; they could spit acid, hence why they lived in the Acid Works. Last time one had escaped, it melted the handle of the ax in Behemoth's head. He wouldn't come out of the Pumpkin Patch for almost two weeks. I knocked once before walking inside. Dr. Finklestein would never hear me anyway. I climbed the winding ramp that led up to his lab, peeking inside. The skeleton reindeer Jack had asked him to build were lying on the table, lifeless. Well, technically, they were never actually going to be alive, but I'm not going to get into technicalities. A whirring noise behind me made me turn around to see Dr. Finklestein. "Ah, Aubrey. I didn't hear you come in." I smiled at him. "You usually don't." I moved to the side so he get to his work table. "So, no luck with the reindeer yet?" I asked. "Not yet." He confessed, tinkering with one's skull. I sat down in a chair sitting in the corner. "Well, you still have a bit… Christmas is still three weeks away." Dr. Finklestein turned and looked at me. "Aubrey, Sally is in her room. You're free to go talk to her." I smiled sheepishly at him out and over to Sally's door, not bothering to knock before running in. Sally looked up from her sewing machine and smiled at me. I grimaced at the red fabric before running over and climbing in her lap. She stroked my hair in an almost motherly way. "No luck, huh?" I shook my head. "He's not even listening to me. Jack's taking this too far, Sally. He gave Boogie's Boys a 'special' job! Boogie's Boys!" Sally wrapped me in a hug. Her fabric-like skin was a welcome change from Jack's stiff, bony hugs, which had become very rare as of late. "It's all right. Look." I slid off of her lap, letting her stand and walk over to her door. Peeking out and looking around, she pulled her head back in with a satisfied smile. Walking over to the center of her room, she knelt down and slid one of the floorboards away. Then, she pulled out a large bottle labeled 'Fog Juice'. "What is it?" I asked curiously. Sally smiled at me, almost impishly. "A bottle of Fog Juice. If I poured this into one of the fountains in the square, it would make a fog so thick that there would be no way for Jack to take off." I grinned at her. "Do you really think it'll work?" "I don't know, but we can certainly try, hm?" Sally said soothingly, smoothing down my hair again. I nodded and rested my head on her shoulder. "Yeah." .0o0. The next day, I was helping Sally with some shopping at the Witches' Shop, considering Jack was too busy overseeing the development of the 'presents' he was going to deliver. There was a loud commotion outside the shop. "What the heck…?" I muttered, running outside. I heard Sally shouting behind me, but I was already halfway to the square before she was even out of the shop. Lock, Shock, and Barrel had ridden up in their bathtub, a large sack wriggling in it. The trio jumped off, running toward Jack. I, on the other hand, hid behind the wall that almost closed off the shop from the rest of the square. "Jack, Jack! We caught him, we caught him!" Jack turned around, a delighted grin on his face. "Perfect!" He strode over to the bathtub. "Open it up, quickly!" Lock and Barrel tugged open the string tied around the mouth of the bag and out shot… a very large pink rabbit? Who was carrying a basket of eggs… the Easter Bunny? What were Lock, Shock, and Barrel doing with the Easter Bunny in a sack? Jack frowned. "That's not Sandy Claws." In that moment, I realized that Jack had finally gone over the edge. Santa? He'd hired Boogie's Boys to catch SANTA? "It isn't?" Shock asked. Barrel looked over at the rabbit. "Then who is it?" That question was answered by Behemoth, who the bunny was sniffing curiously. "BUNNY!" He yelled, not purposely scaring him into leaping back into the sack with a startled 'eek!'. "Not Sandy Claws." Jack restated, motioning to the quivering bag. "Take him back!" Lock shrunk away. "We followed your instructions-" "We went through the door-" Barrel offered, trying to be helpful. Jack put his hands on his hips. "Which door? There's more than one! Sandy Claws is through the door shaped like this." He held out a cookie in the shape of a Christmas tree. Shock turned to Lock, smacking him with her mask. "I told you!" Jack, who was obviously getting very annoyed, turned away. When he turned back, he was making a face that terrified me from yards away, letting out a terrible roar. The three stopped fighting, Lock and Barrel hiding behind Shock, who spread her arms out somewhat protectively in front of them. After glaring at them, he turned toward the bag in their bathtub. "I'm very sorry for the inconvenience sir." He apologized politely. Turning back to Boogie's Boys, he ordered, "Take him home first! And apologize again!" They nodded, running off, the tub following them. "Be careful with Sandy Claws when you fetch him. Treat him nicely!" "Got it!" One, Lock, I think, called. "We'll get it right." Shock added. "Next time!" All three chorused. As they disappeared on the turning path beyond the gate, Jack turned back to the citizens standing around the square. "All right everyone, let's all get back to work! There are only a few weeks until Christmas!" Everyone cheered and went back to making their 'toys'. I bit my lip and buried my face in Sally's dress, tears burning trails down my cheeks. "This time… this time…" The song began behind me. I had to get out of there before I broke down completely. "I'm going home." I told Sally, sobbing as I ran off. The song followed me, all the way out to the Hinterlands. And of course, I couldn't see very well because I was crying, so I ended up tripping. Over what, I don't know, but I did, and I could taste blood in my mouth. I sat up, wincing as I fingered my split lip. That was going to hurt in the morning. Standing, I looked around. After a year, I'd pretty much figured out how to navigate the confusing Hinterland woods. But since I hadn't been paying much attention to how I'd been running, I was lost. Looking up, I watched the crows. They were all flying directly to my left, which meant that's where the door was. I followed the bird's path from the ground, watching them leave back to their usual roosts once I'd reached the door. With a sigh, and after wiping as much of the blood off my face as I could, I turned the pumpkin's nose and hopped through. I was right; the first thing I felt when I woke up was my throbbing lip. I touched it gingerly. Pulling my fingers back, I examined them closely in the dim light. 'Well, at least there isn't any blood.' I sighed and snuggled deeper under my flimsy sheets, closing my eyes, even though I knew I wasn't going to get anymore sleep. But I couldn't even fake sleeping, for a second later, the lights in our room clicked on. Letting out a groan, I placed my pillow over my head, but it was rudely yanked away a moment later. "Aubrey." Sandy's voice whispered next to my ear. I groaned and swatted blindly at her. A thin hand grasped my wrist. "Aubrey, I know you're awake. Please. It's important." I sat up as I realized that Sandy's voice was trembling terribly. "Wha's goin' on?" I asked, yawning a little. "Dr. McIntire died last night." I froze mid-stretch and stared at her face, her emerald eyes wide with terror. "Say what now?" "He died last night. It was from internal hem… hemorging…" "Internal hemorrhaging?" Sandy nodded. "Yeah, in his brain." My breath hitched in my chest. Do you want to die, Aubrey? No, but I wish you would. "They said that it must've been happening for weeks. He was complaining that his head hurt and just keeled over. Betsy, you know, the girl down the hall who thinks she's a bird? Well, she woke up and saw it and she had to be sedated, but she woke like half the building up while they tried to calm her down." I'm sorry; I seem to be getting a migraine. You can go. 'Oh my god…' I thought, clutching my sheets, my nails digging into my palms through the thin cloth. I took a shuddering breath. "I killed him. It's my fault." "What?" Sandy asked. I hadn't realized that I'd spoken. "I killed him." I repeated. "I wished he was dead, and now he is." "Aubrey… you didn't kill him. It's not your fault." Sandy pulled me to her chest and hugged me tightly. "There's no way you could have done anything." For some reason, that didn't make me feel better. The next day, we had a new doctor. His name was Mitchell Anderson, and he didn't look much younger than Dr. McIntire had been. His orange-red hair had streaks of silver in it, and there were fine lines around his eyes and across his forehead. But I had bigger worries than a new doctor. Jack was actually succeeding in every aspect of his plan, including the reindeer. Dr. Finklestein had gotten them to 'live' and to fly, so on December twenty-fourth, tonight, they would be ready to pull Jack's coffin sleigh. Yes, COFFIN. The day started with the denizens of Halloween Town loading up his sleigh with the presents that they'd created. Jack was having Sally make the final adjustments to his Sandy Claws suit. I was sitting on a stool to the side while she fixed the white cuff on his right sleeve, and she was trying one more time to convince Jack to stop this before it got any worse. "You don't look like yourself, Jack, not at all." She sighed, pushing the thread through the red fabric. Jack smiled at her. "I know, isn't it wonderful? It couldn't be more wonderful!" Sally held up his picture, the one that I had traced for him. "But you're the Pumpkin King!" She protested. Jack took the picture and broke it over his knee. "Not anymore. And I feel so much better now!" Sally sighed and picked up her needle, continuing to sew. "Jack, I know you think something's missing, but-" "Ow!" Jack stuck his finger in his mouth; Sally had pricked it with the needle. "Sorry!" Sally apologized quickly as Jack looked in the mirror next to him. Studying his appearance carefully, he scratched his head. "You're right, Sally. Something is missing. But what? I've got the beard, the coat, the boots-" He was cut off by three very unwelcome (in my book) voices chiming, "Jack, Jack! This time we bagged him!" Everyone in the square looked up as Lock, Shock, Barrel, and their bathtub walked into the town square, a very large, plastic bag sitting in the bathtub. "This time we really did!" Lock said proudly. "He sure is big Jack." Barrel sighed from his spot on top of the sack. "And heavy!" Shock whined. "Let me out!" The person in the bag yelled. The trio pulled open the strings and out poked the head of the one and only Santa Claus. Jack looked like he had been sent to Heaven. "Sandy Claws… in person! What a pleasure to meet you!" He took Santa's hand to shake it, looking surprised. "Why, you have hands! You don't have claws at all." I was dumbfounded; I couldn't believe that Jack believed his own lie. Santa pushed his hat out of his eyes, looking around confusedly. "Where am I?" "Surprised, aren't you?" Jack asked excitedly. "I knew you would be. You don't have to worry about Christmas this year." That startled him. "What?" "Consider this a vacation, Sandy. A reward. It's your turn to take it easy." Jack told him. "But there must be some mistake!" Santa protested. Jack either was too busy with his daydreaming or just ignored his protest. "See that he's comfortable." He ordered Lock, Shock, and Barrel. He stopped them before they shoved Santa back in the bag. "Just a second fellows!" He studied the old man for a second. "Of course! That's what I'm missing!" He swiped the hat off of Santa's head. "But you can't just-" Santa started before he was shoved back in the bag. "Where are we going?" He questioned as the three walked off. I turned to Sally as Jack started practicing his 'ho ho ho'. "I'm going after them." I told her. Sally's eyes widened. "What? But you can't! It's too dangerous." "I have to Sally. I have to find out where they're taking him." After a moment, she nodded and hugged me, sending me off. Jack didn't even notice me when I went passed him, even though I purposely bumped into him. I caught up to Lock, Shock, and Barrel just before they reached the Hinterlands. "Where are we taking him?" Barrel asked, still sitting on top of the sack. "Where?" Shock repeated, since she obviously didn't know either. There was a thoughtful pause. "To Oogie Boogie, of course. There isn't anywhere in the whole world more comfortable than that and Jack said to make him comfortable, didn't he?" "Yes, he did." Shock and Barrel giggled. "Haven't you heard of peace on earth and good will toward men?" Santa called from the sack. "No!" The three of them replied. I heard someone chuckle, and then whisper something. All three laughed evilly, and started walking again. I ran after them, hiding (somewhat poorly) behind the dense trees whenever one would stop to look back. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that they were a little paranoid. I made a mental note to remember to laugh at that later; right now, I couldn't risk making ANY noise. Twenty minutes later, I found out where they were taking him. A crooked, twisted old tree with a crude looking tree house stuck in its branches. Slowly, I back away from the path, running back to town. I could just see the gates when the fog began to float out of the fountains like smoke, curling around the citizens, who were to busy listening to the Mayor to notice yet. I ran around the edge of the crowd to Sally, who was standing apart from the crowd, near on of the smaller fountains. I smiled up at her. "It's working!" She nodded, happily, and both of us looked up to Jack, who was now just barely visible through the thick fog. The Mayor tried to continue his speech, despite the shrinking visibility factor. "You who have eh, devastated the souls of the living..." Jack finally seemed to realize how bad the fog was. "Oh no! We can't take off in this. The reindeer can't see an inch in front of their noses." Traitorously, I smiled in glee. It had worked! Disappointed murmurs cut through the crowd. "This fog's as thick as… as…" One of the Vampire Brother's started. "Jellied brains!" The Cyclops finished. "Thicker!" The Vampires corrected. Jack laid his head in his hands. "There go all of my hopes, my precious plans, my glorious dreams…" "There goes Christmas." Corpse Kid snuffled, wiping at his sewn up eyes. That's when I heard a bark, and saw a bright light flying over the crowd. I gasped. "Oh, Zero, no…" I groaned. "No Zero, down boy…" Jack sighed, before doing a double take. "My, what a brilliant nose you have… the better to light my way! To the head of the team, Zero! We're off!" "Jack, no!" Sally protested, but she was unheard over the crowd's cheers as Jack's sleigh lifted into the air. Chapter 5 Chapter 5 The Nightmare Before Christmas: Part 2 Sally closed her eyes and turned away as Jack's sleigh faded into the distance. "Goodbye Jack. My dearest Jack. Oh, how I hope my premonition is wrong…" She sighed, walking off. Aubrey watched as Jack's sleigh completely disappeared into the black sky before following after Sally. The band had started playing their usual tune, instead of an off-key Jingle Bells, and she could hear Sally's voice. "I sense there's something in the wind that feels like tragedy's at hand. And though I'd like to stand by him, can't shake this feeling that I have." Aubrey peered around the stone archway to see Sally looking up at the moon through the Graveyard gate. "The worst is just around the bend. But does he notice my feelings for him. And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be." Sally slipped through the openings in the gate's bars, and Aubrey ran after her. "What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then? And though I'd like to join the crowd in their enthusiastic cloud, try as I may it doesn't last." The black cat meowed and Sally knelt down, letting it jump into her lap. She let out a sigh as she ran her hand along its back. "And will we ever end up together? No I think not. It's never to become. For I am not the one." Aubrey bit her lip, contemplating whether or not she should go and talk to the rag doll. But a cheer from behind her made her run back to the square. Everyone was gathered around what appeared to be Hazel and Zoë's cauldron, watching it intently. Pushing through the crowd, she peered over the rim to see an image of Jack flying through the night air. After a moment, it switched to a news desk. "Reports are pouring in from all over the globe that an impostor is shamelessly impersonating Santa Claus, mocking and mangling this joyous holiday." Cheers rang out from around her as she fought to hear what the newscaster was saying. "Police assure us that this moment, military units are mobilizing to stop the perpetrator of this heinous crime." Aubrey gasped. "The military? Oh no, Jack! Someone has to help him!" No one around her seemed to have heard her, too enthralled by the images on the 'screen'. Aubrey shoved back through the crowd, looking around frantically. Who, who, who could she get to listen to her? "Sally!" She gasped suddenly, running for the Graveyard. Sally jumped up as she heard her name being called. "Aubrey?" The girl ran through the graveyard gates, slipping between the bars much like she had earlier. "Aubrey, what's wrong? You're bleeding!" Sally gasped, seeing a long scratch on Aubrey's leg. Aubrey shook her head. "There's no time! Jack's in trouble! The military is going to shoot him down! He needs help NOW, Sally." Sally bit her lip, thinking. "Where'd they take that Sandy Claws?" She asked after a moment. "I'll show you. C'mon!" The two girls took off deeper into the Graveyard, heading for Spiral Hill, the little known shortcut into the heart of the Hinterlands most often used by Lock, Shock, and Barrel. It didn't take long to reach the Tree House, or to find an entrance to the Boogeyman's underground lair. Aubrey and Sally stood at the edge of the broken bridge that had obviously once led into the base floor of the tree house. In front of them swung a rope that descended deep into the earth. Sally turned to Aubrey. "Aubrey, stay here. If anything happens, go back to town and try to get help." "But-" "No buts." Sally cut her protest short. Kissing Aubrey's forehead, she began to lower herself down the rope. Aubrey sat down next to it, listening carefully. After several minutes of waiting, a feminine scream sounded throughout the pipe. Aubrey jumped up. "Sally! Oh no, what do I do, what do I do?" She bit at her nails nervously, staring at the rift. Sally had said to go back to town, but what if something happened to her? She jumped again as she heard a siren drawing close to her. "The king of Halloween has been blown to smithereens." The Mayor's voice echoed through the area. "Skeleton Jack is now a pile of dust." Tears welled up in Aubrey's eyes. "No… Jack… oh, this can't be happening…" She sat back down, burying her face in her hands. Her resolve hardened as she stood back up, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I've got to help them!" She looked at the rope warily, and then leapt onto it, clinging tight as it swung back and forth. Aubrey's eyes lit up as a plan hatched in her mind. Swinging back and forth on the rope, she leapt off at its highest point, landing on the other side of the chasm. She swung her arms as she stumbled backward, toward the edge of the ravine, but regained her balance and ran toward the tree house. 'Oh, this is such a bad idea…' Aubrey thought to herself as she began to ascend the crooked staircase inside. Carefully, she opened the door, and, not seeing any of the trio, slipped inside. "Now, if I were Lock, Shock, or Barrel, where would I leave something that could be useful against Oogie?" She searched the room quickly, and not finding any doors or weapons, ran up the next staircase. Aubrey froze as she heard three very familiar voices laughing. She crept up the rest of the stairs and walked over to the door that she could hear the voices coming from. Crouching outside, she listened closely. "One… two… three… four, five, six, seven!" Aubrey gasped as she realized that the voice she was hearing could only belong to Oogie Boogie. She pressed her ear against the wood, not hearing the creaks and moans it gave as she did so. Sally shrieked, which was soon followed by a moan from old St. Nick himself. "This can't be happening!" Someone, probably Lock, chuckled. "Yes it can, old timer!" Aubrey rolled her eyes. Yep, that was Lock. Oogie laughed again. "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Ooh, I'm feeling weak—with hunger!" Now, at this moment, the creaking and moaning of the door turned into a loud 'crack', which signaled that the rotten piece of wood had finally fallen off its hinges and with it, Aubrey. Lock, Shock, and Barrel jumped around to see what –or who, as the case was- dared to intrude into their tree house. "You!" Shock cried as the dust cleared and she saw Aubrey lying there. Aubrey's eyes widened and she attempted to push herself up. Instead, she let out a pained cry as a sharp pain shot up her leg and made her realize that part of the doorframe was pinning her right leg to the ground. "Oh no…" The trio in front of her grinned. "Oh yes." Shock hissed gleefully, grabbing a mace off of the wall. Aubrey stared at the spiked head with fear. They were seriously going to kill her! Of course, they had planed on feeding her to Oogie the first time they had met… Lock and Barrel didn't seem to sure of Shock's plan. "Uh, Shock? I know that we really don't like Aubrey, but don't you think that this is a little extreme?" Barrel asked, pulling the sucker out of his mouth. "I mean, if we kill her, won't Jack get more than a little mad?" Aubrey sighed and flopped back down on the floor. "No. Even if he had been paying attention to me lately, he's dead too. He got blown up." She realized that, as soon as those words had left her mouth, she had lost her one and only chance at freedom. Shock voiced this fact quite well. "Do you realize how stupid you are to have told us that?" Aubrey shrugged. "Go ahead." The three of them stared at her. "What?" "I said go ahead. Kill me. My life honestly cannot get any worse right now. I mean, you guys turned over Santa Claus to Oogie Boogie, who's probably about to eat him as we speak, Jack's dead, Sally's about to be dead, and I live in an insane asylum in the real world, so please. Kill me. You'd be doing me a favor." Lock, Shock, and Barrel looked at each other, confused. Normally, people would be begging for mercy at this point. But this little human was ASKING to die? Something wasn't right here. Shock quickly shook off her confusion and raised the mace over her head. "Whatever gets you out of my hair." "Hello, Oogie." All four froze as Jack's voice drifted out of the pipe. "You said he was dead!" Lock hissed at her. "Hey, I was just relaying what the Mayor was spouting off." Aubrey realized how stupid that sounded, but it was true. Then, under her breath she added, "I don't know how you three DIDN'T hear it." "Jack? But they said you were dead!" Aubrey smiled at them smugly, her expression clearly reading 'I told you so'. "You must be double dead!" A loud whirring echoed up the pipe. Lock smirked. "Jack's dead for sure now. No way can he survive Oogie's roulette wheel." "You obviously don't know Jack very well." Aubrey smirked. "If he can survive a missile, how hard do you think it'll be for him to trounce Oogie?" Lock and Shock looked at each other nervously, while Barrel stuck his lolly back in his mouth. "And, if I remember correctly, Jack specifically ordered you three to leave Oogie out of this, didn't he? He'll be pretty pissed when he finds out you didn't." "What are you suggesting?" Lock asked, his arms crossed. Aubrey propped herself up on her elbows. "Well, if you went to Halloween Town and told everyone that Jack was alive, maybe, maybe, he'll forget that fact. I can't really speak for him, in all honestly, but it should be enough to get you guys off the hook." "What about…?" Barrel pointed toward Shock. More specifically, the mace she still held. She quickly dropped it. "Take me with you and I won't even mention it." None of the three looked to happy with that suggestion. "You'll need me to come with you anyway. Do you really think that anyone in town's gonna believe you three?" They pondered this for a moment before Lock and Shock went over and pushed the crossbeam off her leg. "Thanks." She muttered, carefully standing and placing weight back on her leg. She winced, but didn't fall. "So…" Aubrey started. "A temporary truce, then?" She held out her hand. The three nodded and shook her hand in turn. "Now let's get going!" Shock ordered, running out. Lock and Barrel followed her, Aubrey chasing after them. When they reached the playroom at the top of the tree, Aubrey asked, "We're not taking the bathtub, are we?" Lock and Shock grinned at her over their shoulders, and Aubrey gulped. "Hey, Shock." Lock whispered. "Will it hold all four of us?" She thought about it for a moment. "It should. It carries like seventy pounds of weapons and us whenever we use it." She shoved Barrel into the tub and hopped in herself, followed by Lock and Aubrey. The bathtub lurched, throwing those not experienced riding in it forward, i.e. Aubrey, while those who were experienced (and therefore holding onto the rim) snickered. She pushed herself up, her face flushed, and settled herself at the end of the tub farthest away from the trio. "Hey…" Aubrey started as they exited the tree house. "Why do you three work for Oogie?" She noticed that all three of them grew very still and quickly tried to fix whatever it was she had said. "I mean, if it's personal or something, you really don't have to tell me, it's just that… you guys seem so loyal-" "We are NOT loyal to that…" Lock started, stopping abruptly. Aubrey raised an eyebrow but let the subject drop. They rode in silence for a long while, until they reached town, where the Mayor was just climbing out of his car, his sad face turned forward. "Mayor!" Aubrey yelled, climbing out of the tub. He turned, looking surprised. "Aubrey? I'm sorry, but I'm really not in the mood to talk-" "Jack's still alive!" Lock, Shock, and Barrel interrupted. Murmurs passed through the crowd. Jack? Alive? But that was impossible! The Mayor shook his head. "Jack was blown to smithereens." Aubrey shook her head. "No, it's true! He's fighting Oogie Boogie right now! We have to hurry!" After a moment of consideration, the Mayor seemed to realize that if Aubrey was agreeing with Lock, Shock, and Barrel, then Boogie's Boys were telling the truth (for once) and waddled back to his car. The four kids followed, Aubrey sliding into the passenger seat while Boogie's Boys hopped onto the roof. The return trip to the Tree House was much faster than the trip to Halloween Town had been, considering the Mayor's car had quite a bit more speed than the bathtub. "Well?" The Mayor asked as they arrived, stepping out of the car. "He's down there." Aubrey pointed down the crevice. Aubrey turned to the trio. "How do we get down there, exactly?" The three glanced at each other, then nodded and slammed down the lever next to them. Slowly and with much protest, a rusty, spiked cage that doubled as an elevator lowered to their level. "You and the Mayor first." Lock told Aubrey. "Not a chance. What's there to stop you from cutting the rope and killing us both?" The white haired girl questioned. Shock looked at Lock. "I hadn't thought of that… she's good." Lock rolled his eyes. "Fine. Shock, go with the Mayor. Barrel and I will go with Aubrey." The witch grumbled for a minute before stepping into the elevator with the two faced politician. It lowered, and then stopped. Lock waited a minute before pulling the lever back up to reveal an empty elevator. Barrel stepped inside, but Aubrey stayed put. "Are you coming?" Lock asked. "I'll stay here." She said after a moment. Lock shook his head, his eyes rolling behind his mask. "Whatever. Then pull the lever to get us down." He ordered, running into the cage and pulling the door shut. Aubrey walked over to the rusted lever and pushed on it. It stuck, but after a moment it gave way, and the elevator lowered. 'And Lock made it look so easy.' She thought, staring at the lever. Going over to the rift, she sat down and listened, but failed to hear anything. After a couple of minutes, she jumped as the elevator began to raise itself. "Jack!" Aubrey cried excitedly as the skeleton, along with Sally was brought into her vision. He hopped off the top of the cage-like travel system and, after helping Sally down, was promptly hugged by Aubrey. He hugged her back, then pushed her away and knelt down to her eye level. "I'm sorry, Aubrey. I should've listened to you." "Duh." She said, smiling to show that she was only teasing, then hugged his neck tightly. Jack smiled and picked her up. "We need to go back to town." Sally said. "Everyone still thinks your dead, Jack." "Not anymore they don't." Aubrey smiled. "How else do you think we could've gotten the Mayor out here?" Jack raised a non-existent eyebrow. "'We'?" He echoed, looking from Aubrey to Lock, Shock, and Barrel. His eyes narrowed. "You three are in big trouble…" He looked from the trio, who looked terrified, to Aubrey, who kind of half-smiled. Jack sighed. "But since it IS Christmas, I suppose I can let you off the hook." The three of them looked utterly dumbfounded, then grinned. "It should be Christmas more often!" Barrel laughed. Aubrey laughed softly. "You know, for once I agree with them." Jack shook his head, smiling as he set Aubrey down and walked over to the Mayor's car. Sally followed, but Aubrey looked back at the trio standing behind her. "Aren't you guys coming?" Lock gave me a 'you're joking, right?' look. "Why?" "Well, you guys are pretty much the town heroes. There's got to be some kind of reward for that, dontcha think?" The three of them looked at each other. Jack chuckled. Aubrey knew just how to push Lock, Shock, and Barrel's buttons, which was probably why they started fighting most of the time. The mad excitement of the town when they saw that their Pumpkin King was almost overwhelming for everyone, save Jack who was used to it by now. Aubrey laughed as Lock, Shock, and Barrel blushed when someone started up a cheer for them, but they returned the favor by cackling madly when Sally scolded her for it. The band started playing happily, and it didn't take long for a song to start. "Jack's okay, and he's back, okay! He's all right, let's shout, make a fuss, scream it out, whee! Jack is back now, everyone sing in our town of Halloween…" Jack smiled as he looked down at the citizens from the steps of the meeting hall. "It's great to be home!" He called, causing another cheer. Aubrey looked up at the ever-full moon and gasped. "Jack, look!" She tugged on his pants leg and pointed up. This, of course, meant that everyone turned to look as well. "Ho-ho-ho! Happy Halloween!" Santa called. Jack's grin widened and he waved to the spot crossing over the moon. "Merry Christmas!" As Jack waved, small, white flakes began to drift down from the sky. The citizens of Halloween Town, having never seen snow before, were immediately confused, and murmurs of 'what's this?' rose throughout the crowd. "What's this? What's this?" "I haven't got a clue." "What's this"? "Why it's completely new!" "What's this?" "Must be a Christmas thing." "What's this?" "It's really very strange." Aubrey laughed as the citizens immediately adapted to the new condition, and hockey games, snow 'angels', and snow-monsters were begun. Then something cold hit her in the face, and familiar cackling filled her ears. Aubrey wiped the snow off of her face and glared at the perpetrators. "Oh, that's it! Truce over, I hereby declare WAR!" She shouted, leaping down the steps and gathering up a snowball to chunk at Lock. It hit him in the side of the head, causing him to yelp and wipe the freezing substance off. Shock and Barrel laughed harder, until Aubrey hit them both as well. Jack chuckled as the four of them disbanded any 'alliances' and began to just hit whichever one happened to be closest to them. This lasted for another ten minutes, until all four were exhausted and red faced, too tired to run or throw any more snow at each other. The skeleton stopped watching the four children as another figure caught his attention; Sally, slipping into the graveyard unnoticed. He followed after her, shutting the gate silently behind him. "I'm… going to get you…" Shock panted, glaring at Aubrey. "Just as soon as I can feel my fingers." "Yeah right." Aubrey giggled, rubbing her hands together, trying to warm them herself. "What I wouldn't give for a pair of gloves…" She muttered. "Wimps." Lock teased, not looking cold in the slightest. Aubrey, Shock, and Barrel all looked at each other. "Another truce?" Aubrey inquired. Shock and Barrel nodded. "For now." They replied, gathering snow in their hands. Lock stepped back nervously. "Uh, guys? What are you- HEY!" He yelped, holding his arms in front of his face for defense. But, this only lasted for another minute or so, exhaustion still present in their half hearted tosses and threats. "Okay… I am in serious need of a nap." Aubrey groaned, leaning back up against the fountain. "Careful, my precious Jewel." Dr. Finkelstein's voice cut through the air. All four got on their knees and looked over the fountain to see the good doctor being wheeled out of his lab by what looked strikingly like a female version of him. Lock blinked. "That's creepy." "That's REALLY creepy." Aubrey agreed. "Hey, where's Sally?" She questioned, looking around. Barrel pointed at the graveyard. "She and Jack both went that way about five minutes ago." They all were silent for a moment before scrambling over to the gate and squeezing through the bars. "Ewww…" All four muttered as they saw Jack and Sally sitting atop Spiral Hill with their arms around each other. "Hey Lock," Shock grinned, "Betcha can't hit Jack's head from here." She held up a snowball temptingly. The devil grinned evilly, taking the snowball after he pulled out his slingshot. Aiming carefully, he let the snowball fly. Jack let out a yelp and jumped up as something cold and wet smacked him in the back of the head. He turned to see Lock, Shock, and Barrel jump behind one of the gravestones, as Aubrey had hidden before Lock had hit him. He grinned. "So that's how you want to play, huh?" He ran down the hill, scooping up several snowballs as he did. "Crap, run!" Lock yelled, running for the exit. Shock and Barrel weren't far behind him, but Aubrey chose the safer route and ran up the hill to sit next to Sally. The rag doll shook her head and hugged Aubrey close. "That was very brave, what you did." Sally smiled, stroking Aubrey's hair. Aubrey shrugged, laying her head on Sally's shoulder sleepily. "They aren't so tough…" She murmured, her words slurred. Jack walked back up the hill, smiling at the half-asleep Aubrey. "Hold on. You haven't gotten your Christmas present yet." She sat up, blinking the sleep from her eyes somewhat successfully. "You got me a present?" Jack blinked, somewhat surprised she thought he hadn't. "Of course I did!" He laughed, scooping her up. "Do you think I made you do all those drawings for nothing?" Aubrey's eyes widened. "You mean…?" He smiled. "Come on." "Oh, Jack! I love it!" Aubrey squealed as Jack opened the door to reveal her present. Jack smiled. "I thought you would. If you ever decide that you want to stay, you're always welcome here, Aubrey." She smiled with a happiness that Jack had never seen in her before, then ran over and began to bounce on the bed. "All right, all right, let's get you home." Jack admonished, catching her mid-bounce. "Aw…" Aubrey whined as Jack carried her down the stairs. "Bye Sally." Aubrey reached over and kissed the doll on the cheek. "I won't keep Jack for too long." Sally looked at the floor, an embarrassed smile on her face. "That's enough out of you." Jack said, ruffling Aubrey's hair playfully as he walked down his stairs. Aubrey laid her head on his shoulder, smiling mischievously. "You know I'm never going to let you live this down, right?" "Yes, Aubrey, I know." Jack sighed, somewhat happily. When I came to in my room, the first thing I heard was, "Aubrey! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, way-" It was about then that my hand shot up and covered Sandy's mouth. "Why are you sitting on me?" Sandy rolled her eyes exasperatedly and pushed my hand away. "If you had woken up earlier, you would know." She climbed off of me. "It was all over the news." "Oh, you mean Jack's Christmas takeover." I said calmly. She nodded. "Yeah. What happened?" I opened my mouth to tell her, then saw the pile of boxes in the corner. "I'll tell you right after we open presents." It took about fifteen minutes for us to completely eviscerate the poor boxes that used to contain our gifts, which were now either strewn across the floor or shoved into the back of the closet (the latter happened to be the gifts from my mother and brother), and for me to explain the crazy events that happened last night. "Wow. So, what, have you four made up or something?" "Tch, no. We'll go back to hating each other tonight." Under my breath, I added, "I'll get Lock for shoving snow down my shirt." Sandy sighed. "Ah, young love." "Oh, yuck! How can you even suggest that me and… and that little…!" I stopped before I was forced to say a particularly bad word. Sandy laughed. "Okay, okay. I was just kidding, calm down." Her eyes traveled behind me and she tilted her head, confused. "Hey, there's something under your pillow." I turned around to see the corner of something black and somewhat shiny standing out against my white sheets. I crawled over, pushing my pillow to the floor to reveal a box about the length of my forearm and about five inches thick wrapped in a shining black wrapping paper. I'd seen that paper before… Carefully, I pulled off the paper and opened the box, then gasped. Inside was a small doll. "Oh, Aubrey, that's so pretty!" Sandy gasped. I pulled the doll out gently. She had pale skin and silvery white hair, with bright red eyes and pale, smiling lips. As I held her in front of me, I noticed the feathery white wings protruding from her shoulders. That's my eyes fell on her clothes; the smooth black dress with a spider web pattern on it and flowing, tattered sleeves. It was the costume Sally had made for me on Halloween. "Hey, there are notes in here." Sandy said, pulling the papers out of the box and handing them to me. I unfolded the first one. In neat, tiny letters (obviously Sally's) it read: 'To Aubrey, my little angel. Love you always, Sally.' "Sally made it for me…" I said softly, touching the doll's felt skin. I unfolded the second note, curious as to who had written it. As I read it, I started to laugh. "Who's it from?" Sandy asked curiously. I giggled. "Here, I'll read it for you. Aubrey, I believe that since you and Sally tried to do me such a great favor, you deserved to receive this special gift. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed delivering it," Here I had to look up and grin at her, "Santa Claus." Sandy snatched the note out of my hands and stared at it for a moment, before looking up at me with a pout. "You get to have all the fun." I just laughed. Chapter 6 Chapter 6 Growth Spurt? -March 15, 2002- "AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" Lock and Barrel looked up as a scream of pure and utter fury rocked through the Tree House. "Lock… what'd you do?" Barrel asked. "Me?" Lock yelled. "Why do you think I did something?" "Because you ALWAYS do something." Barrel replied, just as Shock ran down the stairs, a tattered piece of violet cloth in her hands. "Which one of you did it?" She hissed, her eyes narrowed dangerously as they flicked back and forth between the other two occupants of the room. "Um, Shock?" Lock asked, pointing at the violet in her hand. "Is… is that one of your dresses?" "What happened to it?" Barrel asked, trying not to snicker. "IF I KNEW DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE ASKING YOU IDIOTS?" Shock screeched. Lock and Barrel winced. "It… uh… it looks like it ripped." Lock offered, trying to be helpful. Shock's glare turned to Lock, and the devil gulped. "No. Freaking. Duh. You imbecile!" "Did it rip while you were trying to get it on?" Barrel asked, curious. Lock looked at him like he was completely insane. "Barrel, we've worn these costumes for over THREE. HUNDRED. YEARS. There is no way that they would just all of a sudden stop fitting." Lock's hand shot to his mouth as Shock and Barrel gaped at him. Then there was a snicker. Then another, and another, until the other two members of Boogie's Boys were rolling on the floor laughing, Shock's anger forgotten. "Wha-what was THAT?" Shock giggled uncontrollably. "Shut up!" Lock growled… or at least attempted to before his voice cracked again. Hence, the attempt at sounding scary just resulted in Shock and Barrel laughing harder. Lock glared at them and didn't say anything further, just sullenly crossed his arms and sulked for several minutes. "Okay, okay. We're done." Shock gasped, still giggling slightly. Then, as if she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be angry at her two cohorts, she glared at them both. "But who messed with my dresses?" "Shock, neither of us touched your clothes." Barrel sighed. He ran up the stairs, coming back down a moment later, holding up a pair of his black skeleton pants. Said pants were sporting a rather large tear in the… eh… rear area. Lock snickered. "Someone needs to lay off the sweets." He muttered, just in case his voice was still acting weird. "What did you say?" Shock asked. "Nothing, just that Barrel needs to lay off the sweets." Lock repeated. "Hey, my voice isn't cracking- crap". "You don't think that we could honestly be…" Shock started, stopping to glance at Lock and Barrel "Maybe we should ask Sally to make us new costumes?" Barrel suggested. Both Lock and Shock grimaced at the thought of asking Jack's girlfriend for any favors, but it was obviously becoming necessary as Lock tugged at the sleeves of his shirt, which were about three inches too far up his arm. "I guess… we don't have any other choice…" Shock groaned, stalking toward the door. Lock and Barrel followed after her. Not long after, they ran into problem number two. "Ow, Barrel, you're on my foot!" "Yeah, well Lock has his elbow in my side!" "Oof! Don't hit me, Shock's already got me pressed up against the side of the cage!" "Are you calling me fat?" "YES!" The ensuing fight sent all three tumbling out of the elevator and back onto the rickety wooden platform. Once all of the violent urges had been worked out of the three children's systems, they looked at the elevator. "There's no way it could've shrunk, is there?" "It's metal stupid." Shock sighed, smacking Barrel with her mask. "It's been here way longer than us, so why would it start to shrink NOW of all times?" "Guess we'll just have to go down one at a time." Lock muttered, pulling himself off the ground. After another fight over who would go down first, the three set off toward Halloween Town. "Aubrey, how many times have I told you not to slide down the banister?" Jack scolded. Aubrey paused for a moment. "You've told me not to slide down the banister three hundred and twenty-seven times as of last week." She stated proudly. Jack shook his head. "Behave for Sally, won't you?" "I always do." Jack smiled at her and tugged on her hair lightly. "I know. I just wish you'd do the same for me." He walked out, giving Sally a kiss on the cheek as he passed her at the door. He strode down the steps of Skellington Manor and out into the town square when three colored blurs ran past him. "Hold it you three!" Lock, Shock, and Barrel froze. "Yes Jack?" They asked sweetly. Jack frowned. "What did you three do now?" "Us?" Lock asked innocently. "Why, nothing Jack." Jack looked around and, seeing that nothing was falling down, broken, and there weren't any angry citizens, sighed. "Fine. But I'm keeping an eye on you three." He then promptly turned around and walked off. Great job at keeping an eye on them, Jack. Oops, sorry. Going back to telling the story now… The trio waited until Jack was quite busy with the Mayor before continuing toward Skellington Manor. A scream rang out through the house as Sally ran a brush through Aubrey's silvery blonde hair. "I'll get it!" Aubrey yelled, running out of the kitchen. She peered out the window and grimaced when she saw her least favorite people standing on the step. "Aubrey?" Sally called, stepping into the living room. "Who is it?" "A trio of pain in the butts." She replied under her breath. Sally walked past her and opened the door. "Oh, hello." She smiled. Aubrey glared at the three, who glared right back. 'Something's different…' Aubrey thought, examining the three. Barrel broke off the contest first. "Sally, we need your help with something." "What is it?" The rag doll asked. Barrel nudged Shock, who was still glaring at Aubrey. She hesitantly offered up her tattered dress. Sally smiled. "I thought this might happen. Follow me." She walked into the kitchen, Shock and Barrel following. Lock, however continued to glare at Aubrey. Though it wasn't really a glare, it was more like a suspicious scan trying to disguise itself as a glare. "Lock, come on!" Shock called from the kitchen doorway. He turned and walked out of the living room, and Aubrey suddenly realized what was so different about Lock. He was taller than her. After half an hour, the trio all had new (and fitting) costumes, which looked exactly the same as their old ones, if not less worn and torn. "Thanks Sally." The three of them called as they ran out the door. Jack stepped to the side as Lock, Shock, and Barrel ran down the stairs. He stared after them for a moment, then smiled slightly and walked inside. "I'm back." "He's taller than I am." Aubrey blurted out, still looking a bit shocked. "When did Lock get taller than I am?" "Since he, Shock, and Barrel gained three years." Jack smiled at her and patted her head. "Oogie's dead now, and that means his spell is broken." "But I thought you said that they'd been like that for over three hundred years. Shouldn't they look like, I dunno, Doctor Finkelstein?" Sally let out a surprised laugh. "Aubrey! The doctor isn't that old." She paused. "I think." Jack chuckled. "Aubrey, that wasn't very nice." "What? He's got to be one of the oldest people in town." Aubrey muttered. "That's not the point." Jack half-scolded. "And no-age spells are tricky. No one can really determine the outcome when it wears off." Aubrey paused to think about this. "So… how old are they now?" After a moment of thought, Jack replied, "Well, I believe that Lock and Shock are about your age, and Barrel is nine." "That's not right!" Aubrey protested, stomping her foot. "They shouldn't be able to do that!" Jack sighed. "Aubrey, magic isn't reasonable. You can't tell it what or what not to do." She pouted and sat back down on the couch next to Sally. The rag doll smiled and brushed Aubrey's hair out of her face. "Aubrey, it's really nothing to get upset about. So they're a little older, what's the problem? Maybe they'll even grow up a little bit." "I doubt it." She muttered, but smiled anyway. "But how can I tease them if they're all the same height as me?" Jack and Sally just laughed. Chapter 7 Chapter 7 Unexpected Hero -Skellington Manor; May 1, 2002- "So…" Aubrey started, staring at Jack from across the table. "Have you asked her yet?" Jack groaned. "Aubrey, not now." "You've got to ask her eventually! I'll even help!" "That kind of help I could do without." Aubrey smiled, unfazed. "I'm sure that was supposed to be an insult in some way, but I really don't care." Seeing as he wasn't about to win this battle, the Pumpkin King changed tactics. "Didn't Emily come to visit today?" "Yes, she did, but you're changing the subject." Aubrey snapped, irate. "Jack, you have the ring, you've practiced the speech seventy-six times, you have GOT to ask Sally already." The door creaked open. "Ask me what?" Jack jumped up. "If you'd… like to go for a walk with me around town." He rushed. Aubrey rolled her eyes, hitting her head against the table. "Ow…" She muttered, rubbing her forehead. Sally peered around Jack. "Are you alright, Aubrey?" "Fine." She chirped, ignoring the throbbing spot in the middle of her eyes. "I'm gonna head home early, 'kay Jack?" He nodded, motioning her out. She kicked him lightly as she passed. "Ask. Her." She hissed before walking out. Jack glowered at the back of the door before turning to Sally, a nervous smile on his face. "So, shall we?" He asked, offering her his arm. She smiled up at him and linked her elbow with his as they walked out. Aubrey weaved in and out of the dead Hinterland trees, looking around. "Ugh, where did those stupid birds go?" She muttered, referring to the crows that constantly flew back and forth from the door and the rest of the Hinterlands. She sighed and stomped her foot. "Great, now I'm lost. Now what?" After looking around again, Aubrey lifted a hand, pointing in front of her and closed her eyes. "Eenie, meenie, minie, mo!" She opened her eyes to see that she was now pointing to her right. "That way it is then." She set off, not knowing that she was being watched. Lock walked through the Hinterlands, chuckling as he unwrapped the candy in his hands. "This'll teach Shock to break my plunger." He said, popping the mini-chocolate bat in his mouth. He grimaced as he swallowed. 'But she's gonna re-kill me when she finds out I ate all of her chocolate bats.' He shrugged. 'Oh well. Maybe I can blame Barrel.' "Ugh, where did those stupid birds go?" Lock looked up. He knew that voice… Lock walked over to the trees and peered around one. Aubrey was standing in the clearing just beyond the tree line, searching the sky. She let out a little huff of frustration and stomped her foot. "Great, now I'm lost. Now what?" She glanced around again, and Lock ducked back behind the tree. After a minute, he heard, "Eenie, meenie, minie, mo!" Lock peeked back out to see Aubrey pointing in the direction opposite the one he'd been coming from. "That way it is then." She sighed, walking off. Lock turned to leave, but stopped as the trees behind him creaked and moaned… without wind. Lock whipped around, and saw that the trees were actually arching their branches TOWARD Aubrey. Lock remembered that Shock had a bag of Tree Poison. Nothing to do with poison, really, but it did make the Hinterland trees very… well, homicidal. A perfectly harmless little prank to pull on people that were already dead… but deadly for someone living! 'That stupid girl's going to get herself killed!' Lock thought. Then, he shook his head. 'Why do I care? Good riddance!' Lock froze in place, mid-step, as a scream ripped through the forest. It was only too obvious whose. Before he even realized it, Lock had turned around and sprinted down the path. It took less than ten seconds for him to locate Aubrey. A tree root had curled up around her legs and waist, and was slinking higher like some demented bark-covered snake. Sharp branches were lowering towards her, ready to lift her off the ground, which would've just left her with a few scrapes, if the thick root (roots by this time) hadn't been anchoring her firmly to the ground. If the branches grabbed her now, they'd rip her arms off. Aubrey was so busy trying to break free of the tree roots, which were stronger than she had expected –more like steel than wood- that she hardly noticed Lock until he'd stomped on the roots slinking around her body and pushed her to the ground. Stars exploded in her vision as her head slammed against the ground. A whimper escaped her lips, but immediately ceased as Lock clapped his hand over her mouth. "Shut up!" He hissed. "Do you WANT to get killed?" She shook her head. "Than be quiet and hold still." Lock looked over his shoulder. The trees seemed confused. Their prey had seemingly disappeared. The branches retreated to their usual positions, and the roots sunk back into the ground. Lock let out a sigh of relief, then… "AAAAHHH!" Aubrey let out a shriek as the trees attacked Lock, viciously ripping into his back and arms. It all came to a sudden halt nearly a minute later as the trees stiffened into their usual looming positions, unmoving. Aubrey quickly scooted out from under Lock, her eyes widening as she saw the tears in his back. "Holy shit…" She whispered. "That bad?" Lock asked, groaning as he tried to get up. Hesitating, Aubrey knelt down and pulled one of Lock's arms over her shoulders. "Let me help." Lock looked up at her, startled. "What?" She flashed him a soft smile. "You just saved me, so I figure this is the least I can do." She slid her other arm around his chest. "Okay, this is probably going to hurt." She warned, pulling him up with a grunt of effort. Lock winced as he stood up. Once Aubrey was sure that Lock could stand on his own, she pulled her arms away, wiping of the blood from Lock's back off of her arm with her jeans. "Are you alright?" "Yeah, of course. Just peachy." Lock answered sarcastically, supporting himself with one of the trees that had just pummeled him. He let out a yelp as he felt something wipe his back, going over one of the cuts painfully. He turned around to see Aubrey standing behind him with what looked like a washcloth in her hand. "What are you doing?" "Seeing how bad the cuts are." Aubrey retorted. "I don't care if you're already dead, it can still get infected." Lock knew that was true; god only knows how many times one of Boogie's Boys had to go to Dr. Finklestein because they'd let an open wound fester to long. "Now turn back around." Lock did so, and Aubrey went back to wiping away the blood, apologizing every time Lock so much as winced. "I'm telling you, someone set it off." Lock froze. That was Shock's voice! "Yeah, but can't we just wait to hear about it later? I mean, it's already obvious who did it, so why get ourselves actually caught?" "Barrel, you're such a wimp." Lock grabbed Aubrey's wrist and shoved her down underneath a tangle of roots that protruded from a nearby hillside. "Stay here." He hissed. She nodded, having heard Shock and Barrel's voices as well. "Lock?" Shock asked incredulously. "YOU set off my trap?" The devil winced as he shrugged. "Yeah, what of it?" "God, you're such a moron! I told you which part of the woods it was!" Lock snorted. "Forgive me for forgetting which of the EXACTLY IDENTICAL trees you cursed." The witch threw her hands into the air. "Ugh! Stupid boys…" "Hey!" Barrel protested, running to catch up with her. "Shock, wait up!" Lock didn't let out the breath he'd been holding until both of them were out of sight. He walked over to Aubrey's hiding place and helped her out. "You were going to that tree, right?" He asked. She nodded. "C'mon then." He started walking off. Aubrey didn't move. Lock turned around. "Do you want to get out of here or not?" Aubrey hurried to catch up with him. "There it is, see?" Lock pointed at the tree, which was sitting peacefully in its clearing as usual, having no idea what had just happened to its user. Because, well, it's a tree. Lock turned to walk away. "Hey, Lock?" He stopped and looked over his shoulder at Aubrey. "What is it now?" Aubrey's gaze fell from his face to the ground and then back to his face. "Thanks. For doing all that for me today." She said before turning and running off toward the tree. Lock watched in a stunned silence as she pulled the door open and climbed through. She had thanked him. Lock had never had ANYONE thank him for anything, ever. And, of all the people, it was AUBREY. The girl who he prided himself for hating more than he did Shock. The girl who'd given him a black eye with her delicate little artist hands (instead of tripping him onto the floor with his own tail like Shock and Barrel did). He turned back toward the Tree House. "You're welcome." He muttered as he walked off. Chapter 8 Chapter 8 Dead, not Blind -Aubrey's POV- All I could think about was why; why did Lock, of all the people, risk getting hurt to save me? Lock hates me. We've made that fact very clear: Lock, Shock, and Barrel hate me, and vice versa. It's an unspoken, mutual agreement, and Lock was TOTALLY ruining it. I suppose that I wasn't doing much to reinforce it. I said 'thank you,' but what else could I do? I mean, he had just SAVED MY LIFE. Isn't thank you what you usually say when someone does something nice? Ooh, Lock and nice. There are two words I don't usually use to describe each other. Sandy wasn't much help either. She just smiled at me all weird and when I asked, all she said was that I would 'find out in due time,' whatever the hell that means. So that night, when I got to Halloween Town, I wasn't really paying too much attention to the clearing until I heard, "Hey, brat." I whipped around to see Lock standing there, and I immediately began looking for Shock and Barrel, dropping into a crouch so I could do that 'fight or flight' thing. Hey, this wouldn't be the first time they ambushed me… Lock gave me a weird look. "What… what are you doing?" After another moment of searching, I straightened up. "Alright, I give. Where are they hiding?" "Where're who hiding?" I rolled my eyes. "Oh, stop playing dumb. Shock and Barrel. You three are practically attached at the hip." "They aren't here." I blinked. This was new. "Don't tell me you came here to fight me all by yourself." If I wasn't seeing things, then Lock was turning slightly pink. "Look, I'm not here to fight!" After a moment of consideration, I relaxed. About an inch. "Okay, I'll bite. Why are you here then?" Lock seemed relieved that I believed him. "I'm taking you to Halloween Town. Shock used that spell on the trees again, and I don't feel like risking my tail to make sure you don't get killed again." "Then why not just let me?" "'Cause…" Lock paused, blinking. Art mine eyes deceiving me, or doth I see a wee bit of a blush on Lock's cheeks? Yeah, don't ask about the Shakespearian speech, I don't know either. "'Cause if you get killed, Jack'll return the favor to me, Shock, an' Barrel." He answered finally. "Oh." I said, feeling a little disappointed. Wait, what the hell? Stop it Aubrey, stop it RIGHT NOW! "Well, um, can we go then?" Lock grunted and walked off, leaving me to chase after him. Soon, it fell into a pattern. I got used to seeing Lock waiting for me at the tree, to lead me down the 'safe' paths of the Hinterlands, and I even eventually stopped thinking that he was just leading me into a trap. It was kind of weird… but also kind of nice, you know? I mean, yeah, it's LOCK, but it was still nice to have someone my age to talk to in Halloween Town. …even if it was one of my mortal enemies. "Hey, Aubrey?" Lock asked suddenly as we were walking through the trees. He had dropped the 'brat' title a couple of weeks ago. I looked over and up at him. I'll admit, I still kind of resented that he was a couple inches taller than me. "What is it? Are we going the wrong way or something?" "No, I… I need to tell you something. You know how I've just been doing this because Shock was hexing the trees?" "Yeah. You said you didn't want to risk your tail to make sure that I didn't get killed again." Lock nodded. "Yeah, I remember. Well… she ran out of tree poison two weeks ago." I actually stopped walking to comprehend that. "But that means that none of the trees would…?" "Yeah." "And you've been…?" "Lying." He admitted. I blinked. Several times, in fact. "Oh. Um, why?" Lock looked away from me, and this time I KNEW he was blushing. "Because… because I like you. Walking with you!" He corrected hastily, his face even redder. "I like walking with you." "O-oh." I managed to get out, my face probably turning just as red. I swallowed down the blush, willing the heat away from my cheeks. "Then why didn't you just say so, you moron?" Lock frowned at me. "Oh gee, I don't know. Mortal enemies, the mutual, unspoken 'we hate each other' agreement; Jack absolutely despises the three of us… need I go on?" "Well…" I flustered. He put up a VERY good argument. "Jack can just deal with it, now can't he?" This was obviously not the reaction Lock was expecting, because he stared at me for two-and-a-half minutes (seriously, I was timing) before smiling. "Yeah, I guess so." Oh, and did Jack deal. The moment he saw me walk through Guillotine Gate with Lock, he stormed over, grabbed my shoulder and dragged me off. Sorry, let me correct myself: He began dragging me off, but I then dug my heels into the pavement and nearly took off his arm before he stopped. Haha, disadvantage of not having any connective tissue; I'll pull his arm out of its socket before he can do it to me. "Jack, would you stop and tell me what the heck is on fire?" Jack crossed his arms firmly over his chest. "Aubrey, the only time I've ever seen you and Lock walking together without trying to kill each other is when I've got a firm hold on both your ears and you've ALREADY tried to kill each other." I spread my arms out and did a little twirl. "Does it LOOK like I've tried to kill or be killed?" "No, but-" I smiled at him evilly. "Don't give me that look. I thought you and Lock hated each other." Biting my lip, I racked my brain for an answer. "Yeah… well… I've had a change of heart." Okay, lamest excuse EVER. "Besides, it's just Lock. How much trouble could I possibly get in?" Jack inspected me for a moment before letting loose a sigh, shaking his head. "Alright, but if this is a trick…" "You'll be waiting there with an 'I told you so' that I completely and totally deserve. I got it, okay?" I told him, running off. Lock was looking from me to Jack suspiciously. "What was that about?" "Jack doesn't like you." I told him. "Well I KNOW that." Lock told me with a smirk. "Hey Jack!" Lock called, running through the square with Aubrey hot on his heels. He waved a bony hand at them, glad for the small distraction from the Mayor's unstoppable planning. It had been about a month since Lock had started hanging around Halloween Town with Aubrey, and it really wasn't as bad as Jack thought it was going to be. Shock and Barrel had hardly even been seen lately, not even anywhere around town. "Where are you two going?" "Graveyard!" Aubrey called, disappearing around a corner after the red blur known as Lock-on-a-sugar-high. "Lock, slow down!" She called, running through the still swinging gates into the graveyard. Lock, who had already made it up to Spiral Hill, sat down and grinned at her. "Problem?" "Yeah, no more chocolate bats for you." She told him, sitting down next to him. Lock rolled his eyes, knowing full well that there was no way in hell that Aubrey was taking any candy away from him. "Doesn't that mask ever get annoying?" She asked, gesturing to it as it hung from his waist. Lock shrugged, digging through his pockets. "Not really. Ah-hah!" He held his slingshot up triumphantly. "Pick a target." Aubrey sighed and looked around at the gravestones. She finally pointed at the crest of the gate entrance. Lock smirked at her and took aim. "Watch and learn." There was a resounding 'ping' as the pebble hit the metal. "I will never understand how you do that." Aubrey muttered. "It's not hard." She scoffed. "Yeah, for you maybe." She frowned as Lock stood up. "What?" "I can teach you." Barrel winced as there was another explosion from the upstairs torture chamber, a.k.a Shock's room. He was sorely tempted to go up there and ask what exactly what the hell it was that she was trying to make, but quickly thought better of it. Last time he went up to Shock's room to ask what she was doing, she quickly made it her business to beat the living shit out of him. So, he was going to sit down here, and pretend that Shock wasn't making something that had a good chance of being deadly and/or evil upstairs. Well, try to pretend. He sighed and tossed another card at the dish he was using to keep himself entertained. Then a door slammed. Barrel froze, the card in his hand slipping to the floor and through a crack. Looks like he'd be playing forty-seven pick up later… footsteps stomped down the rickety and all together not in great shape stairs of the Tree House. "Um, problem Shock?" Barrel asked innocently as she walked into the living room area. Haha, pun! You know, 'living' room? And they're dead? … alright, I'm shutting up. "We're going to the Witches Shop." Barrel blinked. "Huh? Why?" "Because I said so. Where's Lock?" A shrug. "I dunno." Shock turned around, glaring at Barrel suspiciously. "What do you mean you don't know?" "He left earlier and hasn't come back yet. He's been doing this for the past, like, month." 'Which you would know if you'd come out of your room more often.' He added in his head. The witch let out a groan. "Fine, then we'll find him on the way. C'mon, Barrel." "Here you go Shock." Hazel handed Shock a bag of ingredients Barrel didn't even want to ask about. "Yeah, thanks." She muttered, handing her the soul coins. Hazel and Zoë were the only two people Barrel had ever seen Shock show respect to, and that's just because they were the elder witches and could zap her ass into a newt if they had half a mind to do so. Thankfully for Shock, Hazel and Zoë were both peaceful (most of the time) and didn't do much newt zapping. "Come on Barrel." "Are we gonna go look for Lock now?" Barrel asked, scampering after her. "Lock?" Zoë asked. "He's in the Graveyard." Shock and Barrel gave each other a questioning look before running out. "What the heck's Lock doing in the Graveyard without us?" Shock muttered. Both slowed to a walk as they heard voices drifting over the fence and out into the square. "Yeah, aim down your arm like that." "Lock, I feel really stupid right now…" "Well that's good, because you look really stupid too." "Ah! Hey! Meanie!" Barrel looked over at Shock, whose face was growing dark green with rage. "That… that sounds like…" "Aubrey." Shock hissed between her teeth. Lock laughed as Aubrey threw his slingshot at him. "Your aim still sucks!" "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Both whipped around to see Barrel and a very angry Shock standing there. If Lock could've gotten any paler, he would have. "Er, Shock, I can explain-" "Oh, please do. I REALLY want to hear this." Lock's mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out. "Okay, so maybe I can't explain." He finally said. Shock let out something that sounded like a very furious scream of rage and tossed her hands up in the air. "You are such a moron!" She turned on her heel and stomped out of the Graveyard. "Come on Barrel! We'll just leave Lock and his new friend alone!" Barrel looked between Lock and Shock several times before running after Shock, stumbling over something hidden in the tall grass. "Shock, wait up!" Lock glared after them before turning to Aubrey. "I've gotta..." He started apologetically. "Yeah. Go." She said, picking up his slingshot and handing it to him. Lock pocketed it and turned to walk off. Aubrey looked down and saw something black and shiny in the grass. She picked it up carefully, looking inside. "What is all this stuff?" A clawed hand took it from her. "Potion ingredients. They're probably Shock's." Aubrey smiles suddenly. "Hey, maybe if you brought this back to Shock, she'd forgive you. A little." "Shock's not to big on the whole 'forgive and forget' thing…" Lock murmured thoughtfully. "But, it might help." He bit his lip. "Thanks Aubrey." He hesitated, then leant in and pressed his lips to her cheek before running off. Aubrey blinked, her mind hitting the brakes with a loud screech. Lock had just kissed her. On the cheek, true, but he had KISSED her. Shaking, she touched the spot, her face flushed hot beneath her fingers. But the spot still felt cold, and it tingled. Biting back a smile, Aubrey made her way back into Halloween Town, still touching the spot softly. Barrel looked up as the creaking of the elevator chain reached his ears. It stopped after a minute, and the door opened, revealing Lock. Barrel blinked, quite astounded that he was stupid enough to come back after Shock's little performance, a fact which he voiced. "Dude, are you crazy or stupid?" "What d'you mean?" Barrel pointed at the floor above them. "Shock's going weapon hunting. She's going to kill you when she finds out you're here." Lock smirked at him with that cocky, all-knowing look that Barrel hated. "Relax," He assured him, patting the bag at his side, "I come bearing gifts." "Ooh, lemme see!" Barrel was scampering over at the word 'gift'. Lock kicked him away. "Not for you, stupid! They're for Shock!" "What's for me?" Shock asked, standing at the foot of the stairs with a mace in her hand. Lock eyed it warily, holding the bag out in front of him like a flimsy paper shield. "Peace offering!" He cried, dropping the bag and diving behind the couch as a just in case precaution. Shock walked over and peered inside the bag. "Hey, this is my stuff from the Witches' Shop!" "Yeah, you dropped it in the Graveyard." Lock called, peering over their beaten sofa. He decided not to tell her that it was Aubrey's idea to bring it back. That would probably end badly. Actually, screw probably. That would end in a bloody mess for both parties. Shock frowned looking from the bag to Lock several times before resting the mace on her shoulder and picking the bag up. "Yeah well, don't expect me to let you off so easy next time." Lock let out a sigh of relief. "Hey, Shock?" He asked, following her up the stairs. "I looked in the bag and… well, those aren't your usual potion ingredients. What the heck are you making?" The witch paused and grinned back at him. "Oh, nothing much. Just our surprise for next Halloween." Lock caught the underlying nastiness in her tone and grinned. This was gonna be FUN. Chapter 9 Chapter 9 The Spider Incident -October 31, 2002- "Sally, come on! They're gonna start the song soon!" Aubrey called, hopping up and down at the bottom of the stairs. Sally walked down the stairs and the girl let out a delighted squeal. "Ooh, Sally, you look so pretty!" Sally's usual patchwork dress had been replaced by a crimson corset with a tattered skirt with an overskirt of black spider webs. A shawl of the same dark material rested over her shoulders, accenting the red ribbon choker around her neck decorated with an obsidian spider. A silver ring with a gleaming black gem sat on her finger. Sally smiled, embarrassed. "You really think so?" Aubrey 'humph'ed. "Sally, I may not act like it a lot of the time, but I AM still a girl, and I do have some sort of a fashion sense buried up here somewhere." She tapped her head. "And it is screaming 'pretty.'" Sally smiled again and took Aubrey's hand. "Do you think Jack will like it?" Insert eye roll here. "Sally, Jack would like it if you were wearing a burlap sack. The man is totally in capital l-o-v-e love with you." Sally giggled slightly. "Now come on. Hazel promised me a ride on her broomstick before the song starts, and I've wanted to ride that thing since I was eight." "Shock, hurry up! We're missing out on trick or treating!" Lock hollered up the staircase of the Tree House. He growled and turned around, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently. "What the hell is she doing up there?" "Girl stuff?" Barrel asked. But the words had no sooner left his mouth than Shock came running down the stairs, something oddly box-like in her hands, and flew past the boys without the slightest pause. Lock and Barrel glanced at each other briefly before following after her, just in time to see Shock toss the box over the edge of the Tree House. "Shock, what…was… that?" Lock began to ask, stopping as there was a loud rumble from below. The two boys ran over to the edge and peered down below, smiles spreading over their faces as they realized what Shock's 'surprise' was. "And they award for most scares in one night goes to Jack!" The Mayor announced, making the crowd burst into cheers as their Pumpkin King took the stage. "Thank you, everyone. This has been one of the greatest Halloweens of the yet!" Aubrey let out a laugh as another cheer went up. Jack ALWAYS said that. As Jack continued his speech, she looked around, a strange noise reaching her ears. It sounded like a spider's scuttling, only… bigger. And louder. And getting very close. Looking around, she couldn't see anything, but her paranoia proved to be true when someone let out a scream. Everyone turned toward the graveyard to see a giant, arachnid-esque figure approaching, and rapidly. And it was only getting bigger by the second. "Everyone get out of here!" Jack ordered, and the citizens scrambled for the gates. Sally ran up next to Jack on stage. "Jack, what is that?" She asked, horrified. The Pumpkin King turned to her. "Sally, get Aubrey and hide in the manor. Go!" Sally nodded and ran down the stairs, grabbing Aubrey's hand. Aubrey followed, stopping as they reached the gates of Skellington Manor and three high-pitched giggles reached her ears. She looked back as Sally tugged her up the staircase, gasping at what she saw. A giant black spider had stepped over the graveyard gate, its bulbous black eyes surveying the empty town square. Pincers as long as Jack was tall clicked as it let out a loud hissing noise. It stood as high as the town hall, the roof of which Lock, Shock, and Barrel were now sitting on, laughing madly. "Where'd everybody go? We just wanted to introduce 'em to our new pet!" Lock cackled. "Yeah! Jack, meet Fluffy!" Shock screeched with laughter. "Fluffy, meet your lunch!" Lock looked over at Shock. "Uh, Shock? Isn't that taking it a bit far?" He asked her quietly. Shock pulled off her mask, giving Lock a look that clearly read 'you're kidding, right?' "Don't tell me you're going soft on us, Lock." "Course not!" He protested, crossing his arms. "It's just that if Jack survives, we'll be in a lot of trouble." Shock grinned over at him evilly. "That's why we'll make sure he DOESN'T. The only thing that I've trained Fluffy to do is kill Jack." "Great." Lock muttered, the enthusiasm of Shock and Barrel's delighted cheers and cackles lacking in his voice. His eyes flickered from Jack, who was dodging blows from the giant spider's front two legs, to the stairs of Skellington Manor, where a white blur was running up the steps with unheard of speed with Sally behind it. "Aubrey, what are you doing?" Sally asked as she stumbled up the crooked steps of Skellington Manor behind me. "I'm helping Jack! I know he told us to go and hide, Sally, but he can't fight that thing alone!" She called, running inside and up the stairs. Nearly tripping on a loose floorboard (Jack could at least fix up SOME of them!), she stumbled into her room and pulled open the top drawer of the bedside table. Reaching inside, she pulled out a simple, wooden slingshot and a small sack that bulged full of whatever ammo was inside it. Speeding back to the staircase, she leapt onto the hand rail and slid down, flying off and landing in an ungraceful- and quite frankly painful looking- pile. After moaning for a moment about her now scraped elbows and knees and hands and head, Aubrey stumbled up and raced for the door. She was surprised when she didn't fall head first down the stairs and break her neck or something. Jack was always warning her about that… Oh, right. Jack. The idiot she was supposed to be helping. Speaking of our skeleton king, he was playing a game of tag with Fluffy. He was also wondering why SHOCK of all the corpses, would name a pet spider Fluffy. But that was at the back of his mind. At the front was the fact that this spider was destroying his town and trying to eat him. "Hey, ugly!" Jack nearly tripped. That would have been disastrous. THE one and only Pumpkin King, tripping over himself? Shameful. Which he really shouldn't have been worried about, because he recognized the voice that dared to insult a giant-spider-that-was-ten times-her-size, and he knew EXACTLY what was coming. It was times like this that Jack really hated being so incredibly perceptive. But, thankfully, the spider didn't recognize any of the human language except for 'kill', 'maim', 'rip', 'tear', etc. Oh, and 'lunch'. So, it was still set on chasing after its supposed-to-be next meal… until something small and pebble-like smacked one of its bulbous eyes. Fluffy reared back, letting out a high-pitched noise somewhere between a roar and a shriek. Scuttling around, it looked for the source of this unaccustomed pain, getting its answer as another rock smacked another one of its eyes. All twenty or so of them focused on the little figure in white standing in the archway leading to Skellington Manor. Aubrey dropped the slingshot (and the pebble she was loading into it) as the huge arachnid focused its numerous eyes on her. 'Great job, Aubrey. You've got its attention, but NOW WHAT?' Needless to say, Aubrey was somewhat surprised when a hand grabbed hers and began to pull her away. "S-Sally?" She asked, confused. "I'm not just going to sit back and do nothing while you put yourself in danger, young lady." The rag doll told her sternly, smiling none the less. The smile faded as a large shadow passed over their heads and Fluffy landed right in front of them. Both let out a shriek of surprise, and Sally pulled Aubrey closer, holding her protectively. Fearful tears streamed down Aubrey's face. 'Oh god, I'm so sorry I brought you into this, Sally…' She thought, hugging the rag doll's waist tightly. Fluffy's pincers opened wide and it began to bend down toward them… Only to stop as a blur of red appeared from above the two girls and buried something that made a vile noise in between the spider's main two eyes. Blood spattered across both Sally and Aubrey as the insect fell, its legs twitching spasmodically as it let out a high keening. Aubrey's gaze flickered from the handle of what appeared to be an ax that stuck out from the dead spider's head, to the one who put it there. "… Lock?" (a/n: who ELSE would it be?) The devil opened his mouth to say something, stopping as Jack stormed over and grabbed him by the color. "You have a lot to answer for, Lock." He growled. "All THREE of you." Jack looked over at Shock and Barrel, who were struggling in his other hand. Lock looked away from them, Jack and his friends, with an expression that was akin to shame. "I know." Jack blinked, surprised, but was quickly all business again. "At least you admit it." He muttered, releasing Lock and grabbing Barrel with his free hand and pulling the two toward Skellington Manor. A light hand touched Lock's shoulder. He turned slightly to look at Aubrey. Taking her wrist gently, he removed her hand. "Sorry." He muttered, walking dejectedly after Jack. "The three of you will stay here until I can decide on a fitting punishment." Jack told Lock sternly. The devil sat dismally on one of the many spare beds in one of the guest rooms in the Manor, staring down at the floor, with an utterly torn look on his face. Jack began to shut the door, stopping when it was almost closed. "I expected better of, at the very least, you, Lock." He said with a soft sigh, shutting the door. Lock flinched at the click of the door being locked. With a sigh, he laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. Lock had a feeling he was going to be here for a while… What felt like hours later, though it could've just been minutes, there was the sound of someone fiddling with the doorknob outside the room Jack had shut me in. It opened after a moment of silence, and boy was I surprised to see not Jack standing there, but Aubrey. We didn't say anything for a moment, and the silence was so tense you could've cut it with a knife. "Aubrey, I-" "Please tell me you had no idea what Shock was up to." She cut me off with a soft plea. "I didn't! Well, I did, sorta, but I had no idea about the giant spider!" I immediately offered up, knowing how incredibly PATHETIC my excuse sounded. "You believe me, right Aubs?" She looked away from me, her crimson eyes guilty. "I… Lock, I don't know who to believe any more." I hopped off the bed and went over to her. "Believe me! We're friends, remember?" I grabbed one of her hands. "We… we are still friends, right?" I asked, looking at her face. "Right?" Aubrey swallowed, hard. "… I'm not sure." I dropped her hand. First Shock and Barrel- hey, I know those two. I just got us all in some seriously deep shit. They were more likely to send me back into the grave then call me 'friend' anytime soon- and now Aubrey. How could this get worse? That's when I saw the slingshot in her hand. "Here." She said quietly, her voice hoarse, extending her hand toward mine. "Keep it." I said flatly. "I can't." She told me, her voice wavering. "Jack won't let me." Jack… wouldn't… let her? I turned back around to see Aubrey focusing her gaze on the floor, and her shoulders were shaking. "Is that why you said we aren't friends?" Aubrey nodded slowly. Oh, well, I felt a little better. Great to know that Jack hates me enough to ban me from being friends with people. Could he do that? "Can you even ban someone from being friends with people?" I repeated aloud. "I don't think that's legal." There was a slight giggle, and Aubrey looked up at me, wiping tears off her face. "Like you would know." "Hey, I've broken plenty of rules. I don't think that's one of them." I grinned at her slyly. "So… does this mean we can be friends again?" Aubrey nodded slightly, biting her lip but smiling nonetheless. Woohoo, points for me! A minute later, we were sitting on the bed, Aubrey telling me what was happening outside. Apparently, I'd been locked up for about forty-five minutes. "Jack's just got a meeting called together. He wouldn't let me in." "Figures." I muttered. Aubrey would've stood up for me, at least. "How'd you even get in here? Jack locked the door." She grinned, almost mimicking my earlier one, holding up a white key. "Skeleton key." She said. "Ooh, bad pun." "Jack gave it to me a while back. Guess he just forgot. I almost did too, 'cept it was underneath the slingshot." She looked down at the floor. "Lock… I'm probably not gonna be able to see you any more after this." I nodded. "Yeah, I know." I nearly jumped out of my skin when Aubrey turned and quite abruptly hugged me. Hugs were not something I was used to. Hell, physical contact that wasn't painful was something I wasn't used to. After sitting there like a retard, I carefully wrapped my arms back around her. We sat like that until the sound of the front door creaking open below us made us jump apart. "I have to go." Aubrey whispered, walking over to the door and shutting it. I heard the lock click shut, then light, barely audible footsteps running down the hall. "Aubrey?" Jack's voice called faintly. "In my room." She responded flatly. I heard Jack's footsteps coming up the stairs, then a door click shut. Voice conversed for a few minutes, Jack's switching from sympathetic to angry quite a few times, while Aubrey's stayed firmly mechanical. She deserved an award for this little act… Finally, Jack said something about taking her home, and after their footsteps faded, there was nothing but silence. I sighed and flopped back down on the bed. The afterlife really sucks… Chapter 10 Chapter 10 Final Decision -November 1, 2002- "Lock!" Aubrey cried as she tumbled through the door- it would still be a few years before she could actually come through that thing without falling all over herself- and saw the devil-costumed boy waiting for her. She hugged him tightly, letting go and holding him at arm's length before he had a chance to respond. "You're alright." She sighed, relieved. "Still in one piece, anyway." Lock said with a slight chuckle. Aubrey attempted to smile and failed miserably. "What'd Jack do to you three?" Lock grimaced behind his mask and pulled it off as he sat Aubrey down. "We've been banished. We can't leave the Hinterlands, otherwise we'll be severely punished." He said these last words as though he was already imagining the 'severe punishments' already. "But that's not fair!" Aubrey protested. "You saved me and Sally, and you didn't know about the spider!" "Yeah, well, the witch trials weren't fair either. Anyone close to the 'witch' went down with 'em, remember?" Lock told her blandly. "That isn't gonna stop me from giving Jack a piece of my mind." She growled, her fists clenching. Lock couldn't help laughing at this tiny, fine boned little mortal girl taking on the Pumpkin King, the Master of Fright, the Knight of Nightmares. Though for some reason, he did have a feeling that she might actually get through to him. "Aubrey?" Speak of the skeleton devil himself, Lock thought. Jack stepped through the trees, smiling. "I thought I heard…" He stopped abruptly as his eyes fell on Lock, narrowing into a glare as he reached forward and grabbed Aubrey's pale wrist and pulled her away. "Ow! Jack, let go, that hurts!" Aubrey protested, squirming and pushing at his hand. Jack ignored her, not stopping until they'd reached Guillotine Gate. He released the child and turned to face her, angry and serious and quite scary. Well, quite scary to anyone who hadn't seen this expression a thousand times, granted that it had never been directed at her. "Aubrey, you can't see Lock anymore. Ever." "What?" She asked, as though she wasn't hearing him right. "What do you mean I can't see Lock anymore? We're friends!" "I told you last night, I forbid you from associating with him anymore!" Jack yelled, his voice raising, catching the attention of several passing citizens. Aubrey glared up at Jack, her pink-red eyes tearing up. "You can't tell me what to do, Jack. You're supposed to be my friend, not my dad! (a/n: Oh, the irony!)" She screamed right back, running off toward the graveyard. Jack just closed his eyes and turned around, making his way back to Skellington Manor. Citizens stepped out of his way hurriedly, not wanting to risk their King's wrath. Well, all except one… "Jack, what's wrong with Aubrey?" Sally asked, catching the skeleton at the gate to the Manor. Jack looked away from his fiancé. "Nothing, Sally." He lied quietly, pulling his arm gently out of her grasp before pushing open the gates. "She's just working some things out." 'Working things out' was a very light way of putting what Aubrey was doing. Sitting on the top of Spiral Hill with her knees hugged to her chest with hot, angry tears spilling down her cheeks, Aubrey had never felt more angry at her soon to be ex-friend. In fact, she almost never felt angry at Jack. Except for that Christmas incident, she hadn't ever, EVER, been mad at Jack. "First time for everything." She muttered, wiping tears off her cheeks. "Lots, actually." Aubrey jumped up to see Lock standing behind her. "You're the first mortal to ever actually get to Halloween Town, there's another one." "What are you doing here?" She asked, looking around to make sure that there were no stray ghosts around that could tell Jack. Lock shrugged. "Can't stand hearing girls cry, I guess." Skepticism flashed through Aubrey's worry. "What about Shock?" Lock rolled his eyes. "Alright, cute girls then. Besides, the day that Shock cries is the day I put on a pink leotard and hop around doing ballet." Aubrey flushed slightly at Lock's comment. "You… you think I'm cute?" He blushed a furious red, almost more so than his hair, as he realized what he said. "Well, you're cuter than any of the girls here." He quickly covered, though the damage had already been done. She smiled and hugged him. "Thanks Lock." She whispered softly, and Lock couldn't help smirking as he hugged her back lightly. "Don't get used to it." Aubrey laughed as she pulled away from him. "I wouldn't dream of it." I decided that going back to Halloween Town wouldn't help my temper any, and Lock was hell bent on staying away from the Tree House, so the two of us walked back to my tree's clearing and sat and talked about how unfair Jack was being and how stupid this was and other random stuff (we actually started debating on what tree in the Hinterlands looked deadest for a few minutes.) until the sun began to peak through the cloudy night sky. "See you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully, one leg already hoisted over the door's edge. Lock paused to think about this. "Maybe. Not if Jack's waiting for you though." "Definitely not." I agreed. I smiled at him. "He can't stay mad forever, Lock. I'll make him see reason." "Yeah, right. Like you could actually take down bonehead." He scoffed, but he was smiling anyways. "See ya'." "You too." I said, turning and jumping through the portal back to my body. Jack couldn't stay mad forever. Besides, how could it possibly get any worse? The End Publication Date: December 4th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-hugs.and.kisses

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-joanna-the-gods-and-goddesses-lover/

Joanna The Gods and Goddesses Lover I would just like for it to be known that this is my first attempt at a decent enough story and I do try to make it as interesting as possible and if you like it then I thank you for support. Chapter 1 It All Began With a Dream The desire. The rush. The intensity. You can’t escape from any of it. It will follow you until you accept it. You can’t deny it. It is your birth right. When the moon engulfs the earth and all is in hell, blood shall take place of the earth and fear will be our ruler. My face felt hot. Like on a summer day when the air conditioning is broken and all you have is an old fashion fan to cool you down. I was standing on a black surface no one around. A woman appeared in front of me. She had long black-olive hair. She looked-from my distance- very pale and her features really stood out. Her eyes were as dark as night and yet, even in the surrounding darkness, her eyes somehow sparkled. The face didn’t even look like that of a human; it looked as if she was a marble statue. She had a long white dress that appeared to be torn into shreds at the bottom. The top had lacy designs around the neck-line all the way to back. It had long sleeves which were also in shreds. I saw her ruby red lips moving as if she was trying to tell me something. I was too far away that I couldn’t make out everything she said. All I could her were four simple words that sent a violent chill down my spine: “There will be blood.” I asked her for her name and all did was smile her perfect shaped lips at me and suddenly vanished.”Karina?! Karina! Come on, Karina! Wake up! I’m so sick and tired of waking you up myself when your alarm clock is going off like crazy!” I didn’t recognize the voice that seemed so upset with me. All I knew was that it felt familiar and warm. It was nice. “Get up already! If I’m late to work just because you’re having a good dream I will never forgive you! Do you hear me?!” I still didn’t understand why this person was so upset with me. I knew I was forgetting something and it would all come back to me if I just woke up, but part of me didn’t want to remember and just stay in sweet slumber. Suddenly, I felt a slight tugging on my leg. I escaped the first attack but the second attack was fiercer. I couldn’t move my legs no matter how hard I struggled. "I am getting you out of this bed if it’s the last thing I do!" The familiar voice started becoming more rasp and cold. Almost like a growl. Then, finally, when I didn’t have the strength to fight it off, I let the strength take me away. My head started to throb and pound like a non-stop drum. When I opened my eyes there was this blinding light that shone brighter than anything I’ve ever seen. My eyes ached and it was killing my eye sight. Suddenly, there was a tug on my arm so strong that it lift me straight to my feet. “Ok look, how long do you intend on staying asleep, you start school today don’t you now hurry up and do as you’re told. Man, why are you so hard to deal with?!" Then there was nothing and the harsh voice disappeared behind a large slam! I felt so dizzy and weak and searched for water to help me wake up. “GOD, I hate mornings. Why does big brother always have to be so reckless?" I started walking towards the bathroom down the hall and turned on the faucet. I filled my hands with water and splashed my face and raised my head to look at the mirror." Man, I look like hell that was destroyed by a tornado and trampled by a stampede of horses." I quickly took my shower and got dressed in my new uniform. I had to change schools because I changed towns. Before we moved, it was me, my brother, and my mother. My father died in a bank robbery it’s a pathetic way to die, getting stabbed in the back while trying to be the hero and I never really forgave him for that. He left us with very little and because of that mom had to work 2 jobs and barely had time to see us. It made me feel like both of my parents died and all I had was my brother. After awhile, I couldn’t take it anymore and I begged my brother if we could live somewhere else and not tell mom. At first he thought I was being overly dramatic but one night he heard me crying and telling God to please give me back our dad so he can fix mom and we can be a family again. Then the next morning we left while mom headed out for work." I think it’s been over 5-6 years since that day, and yet I still feel no guilt nor regret from leaving that house." I ran out the door with breakfast in my mouth trying not to spit out my toast. I finished my toast while I was only 5-6 minutes to the school so I decided to just walk the rest of the way. “Looks like my high school isn’t going to be an easy life, is it, Dad?" I said to myself. I looked at the watch and realized I only had a couple more minutes to get to school. Geez, I can be such an idiot sometimes. I ran at top speed to get to my class and said hello and good morning to all the teachers I passed and I was just about to make it to class when I opened my class door I ran into something and I was bounced off and I hit the wall. “Holy crap, that hurt. Hey what the hell is your-" I was about to tell off whoever or whatever I ran into when I realized I ran into the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen. Even though he was lying on the ground I could tell that he was at least 4 or maybe even 5 inches taller than me. He had short black hair but I could have sworn I saw some blue in it. I was completely hypnotized by his deep blue eyes and his face was like marble. Hell, even his scent was amazing; it reminded me of old vintage clothing. It was like gazing at an angel or a god. His skin looked nearly flawless. He quickly stood up and walked over to me and helped me up. I thought it was strange. His hand it felt kind of cold or maybe warm. I thought he didn’t have a sense of touch at all. Like he was dead. “Hey. Are you ok? I didn’t mean to run into you." I totally lost consciousness once I heard his voice. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s my fault. I wasn’t looking at where I was looking. Sorry."I tried not to faint at the sound of his voice. It sounded rugged yet peaceful and warm and, somewhere in there, was a sense of darkness. I wanted to keep holding his hand even though it had no feeling it just somehow felt so right to be with him somehow. I looked into his eyes and notice that there was something there, very deep in there; it told me that there was some sort of lose or discomfort. I wanted to ask him if anything was the matter when the school bell rang. Crap! “Well, I better get to class. It was nice meeting you. Whets your name?" he asked e so quickly "K-Karina. Karina Petrolia. Whets your name?" "Ryan. Ryan O’Dell. As a matter a fact I think we're in the same class together. Well, for home room I think." Alright! Thank you karma. I realized a little while later that he came out of my class room, and he was right he was in my home room class. The teacher wasn’t there so we had a sub (on the first day of school) and the sub didn’t know what to do so he gave us a self-study period. I decided to get up the courage and ask Ryan if we wanted to hang out with me after school. I know it’s stupid to ask a guy you just met today to hang out even though you hardly known each other for an hour, but, to be honest I just wanted to be with him. "Hey, um, Ryan." I stuttered. He was actually taking a cat-nap so I felt sort of guilty about waking him up, but I’m glad he did wake up." Oh, hey, Karina. What’s up? Need anything?" he asked while doing a very big yawn. I was about to ask him when I realized that his hair was a bit messy, so I made a little giggle. Ryan looked at me confused but I stopped laughing and asked him directly. "If you have time after school, would you mind hanging out with me after school?" I wanted to say it fast just to get the rejection over with, but I wasn’t rejected." Sure fine by me. I got loads of free time. Besides, you’re the only person here that I know and trying to make new friends randomly on the first day of school is a bit stupid. Wanna meet by the gate?" It happened again. His voice completely consumed me from the inside out. "Cool! I'll see you then!" I said almost turning into a shriek of happiness. I had to control myself around him. Seeing an handsome guy like that happens once in a million years and just being able to see and talk to him every day is good enough for me. Chapter 2 One World Too Many Coincidences I was so relieved when the school bell rang I looked for Ryan and he was already at the door waiting for me." Are you ready to go? I can’t stay like this forever, ya know." he smirked. He acted so stuck up that it was cute "Yea, yea I know I’m coming." I grabbed my stuff and went to the door and we walked together out of the school. We reached the gate, and then Ryan stopped for some reason. “Ryan, what’s the matter? Why did you stop?" I asked. He was silent for a second then out of nowhere he started hitting himself in the head and kept calling himself an idiot over and over again. I rushed over to him and begged him to stop and I asked what’s the matter. "I just remembered that we were supposed to meet by the gate and not at the door." he mumbled. I almost lost my balance. What’s the difference between meeting at the gate and meeting at the classroom door? There’s really no difference if you ask me. I patted him on the back" It doesn’t matter, does it? We're here now so let’s get started on the shopping. Ok?" Ryan smiled and looked up at me with a face that said he totally agreed with me. I turned around and started walking (trying to hide the fact that I was completely blushing). Ryan ran up beside me and held my hand. My face felt so hot, but the funny thing was that his hand had a sense of touch. They were warm. The kind of warmth you need on a cold winters night. It made me feel happy. All of a sudden, Ryan started running-dragging me behind him- I almost fell because he caught me by surprise. "So what’s the first thing on the list?" he asked. I tried to tell him but it was kind of hard to do it while I was running to keep up my balance. So, I summed it up in one word “Dinner". "Why do you have to buy dinner? Doesn’t your mom cook the food?" I almost didn’t want to answer that question, but I had to tell somebody. Besides, I feel like I can really trust Ryan. “I don’t live with my mother that’s why." Ryan stopped running and turned around, still not letting go of my hand."You don’t live with your mom? Then who are you living with, you father?" I sort of flinched at the word "father". I took in a very breath." My father’s dead." I said quietly, almost a hush. I felt Ryan’s body sort of jump. He tightened his grip on my hand. He hid his face from me for a couple minutes. "However" I said to break the quietness" I am living with my older brother, so don’t worry about it." I heard my voice sort of crack. Ryan didn’t say anything for awhile as we walked into town, but he was still holding onto my hand, like a scared little kid holding his teddy bear. The first store was the market. I had to buy meat, lettuce, carrots, broth, and some tomatoes. Big brother wanted to have a simple meat meal, but he needs more than just meat. “I swear my big brother can be so childish sometimes. I hope one day the two of you can meet each other." I grinned "Yeah sure." Ryan’s voice started to turn cold. What did I do to upset I wonder? I really want him to smile right now. Seeing him all gloom and doom it just doesn’t fit him somehow. The entire time I was picking out stuff for dinner, I thought up of ways to cheer him up. 1. Give him a joke 2. Scare him from behind the corner and 3. Surprise him with an invitation for dinner with me and my brother tonight. Out all of them 3 sounded the most promising. I mean if I did give him a joke how will I know if he hates it or if he thinks that was just unnecessary. Scaring him might end up giving him a heart attack because he might have a heart problem and I would’ve killed him. So when we got to the register I asked him directly-with no hesitation- if he wanted to have dinner with me and my brother. I expected just a simple nod or a sure or an ok, but I was way off. Ryan turned his head towards me and looked at me with a scornful face but it slowly turned softer and kinder. He grabbed my waist and lifted me into the air as if I weighed nothing. He smiled his goofy smile a practically hollered “Are you kidding? I would love to come! Should I come now or later?" he started swinging me around and around in circles and people started to stare. “Ryan, put me down! People are watching us! It’s embarrassing!" I hissed at him. He got the message and put me down. People were still watching and I quickly paid the cashier, grabbed my bags and dashed out the doors with Ryan on my heels. When I thought it was safe enough, I stopped running and tried to catch my breath. I stopped for five minutes and realized that Ryan was nowhere to be found. "Aw, crap! Where did he go? He was catching up to me when I ran out the store." I looked around me to see if he was hiding anywhere. I decided to wait for him a few more minutes. After twenty minutes, I decided that he left me and walked back home. “Well that’s a shame. I wanted him to try my cooking. Maybe he wills next time." I muttered as I was walking I stared at my hand and remembered how long Ryan had it in his grasp. The feeling of his hand against mine sent chills down my spine. I never thought that he would actually come with me to the market. If I asked any other guy that he would tell me “Are you crazy?" or “Why would I go with someone who I don’t even know?" Somehow, I didn’t know how exactly, Ryan seemed different from the rest. He’s special. Completely different from the rest. I couldn’t get his face out of my head. What was it about him that I liked about him anyway? Was it his smile? The way he talked to me? The way he looked at me? What was it? I thought about this the entire time I was walking home. I would’ve kept walking if my brother hadn’t yelled out the window. " Hey Karina! Hurry up and get inside! I’m hungry! Where’s dinner?!" My brother is so annoying. I don’t even know why girls love him so much anyway? I turned to face him and waved at him and pointed to the bag in my my other hand. "Its right here, Ken! I hope you like it! We're going to have steak tonight!" I hollered my brother practically drooled out the window like a dog. " Hurry up inside, then. Our company is getting pretty hungry too, ya know?!" "Company?" I didn’t remember then if we had company or not, but I sure wish I did. I walked into the house and closed the door behind me. I took off my shoes and headed into the leaving room. Our living room isn’t that great but it does suit us. It has a red couch to match the wall paper and a small table next to the couch with sunflowers. Every day, we have new flowers from the part-time job Ken works at. I love it. The living room has a door that leads to the kitchen. Our kitchen is pretty much simple. A marble counter, a sink near by a small window with cream colored drapes. Next to that are the 2 cabinets that hold all the spices and oils. On the opposite side of the drapes there are two more cabinets but they hold snacks and tea bags that were always sweet (just the way I like it). I looked around to see where Ken was but couldn’t find him anywhere. " Ken! Where are you?! Where’s our guest?!" I hollered " He should be in the living room! If he’s not just check outside! He said he wanted to water the plants!" "Thanks!" I headed towards the garden which was surprisingly around the corner from the living room. I put on my outdoor sandals and put the bags down on the side. "Karina?" I stood up immediately and turned around to see that our guest was actually Ryan! “Ryan? What are you doing here? How did you get here? Better yet, how do you even know where I live?!" I hissed on the last part. But how else was I supposed to act?! I mean come on the guy I have a huge crush is in my house! Ryan was holding a small green watering can that we used on the roses and tulips. He slowly put the can done and walked inside. I was still in so much shock that I couldn’t move. "Karina, listen. While I was chasing you I tripped over a rock and lost consciousness for I don’t know how long and when I woke up I was in your house. Your brother was on his way from work when he saw me on the street and brought me to his house. I had no idea this was your house too! You’ve got to believe me." I could tell that his voice was very sincere and meant every word. I took in a deep breath and smiled at him kindly "I believe you. Come inside. I’m about to fix up dinner and I think Ill need some help." I said Ryan walked inside and slipped the outdoor shoes off. He and I walked to the kitchen and took out all the groceries and got started on making dinner. It turns out Ryan isn’t that bad when it comes to cooking. He’s very good at it, but he had a weak point. Ryan almost cut himself countless of times. We were working on the carrots and celery for the soup. I was cutting the celery and Ryan was cutting the carrots. I had to check on him every 2 minutes. My neck nearly snapped right off my shoulders from all the times I had to look over my shoulder to make sure he’s ok. After about cut 7 I walked over to help him "Ryan, you really are a klutz, you know that? Haven’t you ever cut a carrot before? Here let me help." I said I put my hands on hips and helped him hold the knife correctly and the carrot. "I-its ok, Karina, besides I’m not worth the trouble he mumbled "What are you talking about? You're no trouble at all. Now just follow my hands ok?" I said Ryan just nodded his head and followed my every direction. He messed a couple times but after awhile he finally got the hang of it and when I let my hands go he was still doing a great job. " See?! I told you you could do it. All you needed was some self esteem and a good coach. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to get started on the meat. After you’re done with the carrots just put them in the pot with the celery and watch it until it starts to boil. OK?" When I was finished talking it sounded like I was a chef or maybe just a very bossy cook, but Ryan had no complaints. He just stood there with a big smile on his face and said, loudly, "Yes!" From the preparation of the dinner to the eating of the dinner I was wondering when I would tell Ryan that I like him. Immediately my brain said NOT RIGHT NOW YOU IDIOT!!!!! WAIT A COUPLE MONTHS THEN TELL HIM and I totally agree. When dinner was over, Ken plopped on the couch and started watching the Eagles V.S. Packers game. My brother is a huge fan of the Packers and he really wants to win, but I have my money on the Eagles. "Thank you for the great food, Karina, it was great. As much as I hate to say it I have to go home. I’ll just grab my jacket and head out the door." he said Ryan grabbed his jacket and threw it over his shoulder while still holding it by the strap inside. Man he looked so hot!!!!! "Here I’ll walk you outside." "Sorry about that" he scratched his head "Don’t worry about it" I walked him to the door and opened the door for him and waved to him as he left and he waved back. "Ill sees you tomorrow at school, right?" I smiled at him " Of course. We're friends aren’t we? See you tomorrow, princess" "Yeah se you to- Wait. What-what did you say??!!!!!!!" I was about to ask him again what he just said but he was already gone. "Did he just call me 'princess'?" WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!! Publication Date: October 25th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-joanna72

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lpsrfun123-cat-hero/

Lpsrfun123 Cat Hero Book 1: Me a Cat The comic seris Amulet give me the idea. I remeber when I was just a little kid or baby nine years ago. My parents and everyone died, but I survied. The only problem is now that I am the last; also I am unwelcomed in any city, because of who I am. I live in Adlesa, and I am wanted. "Wow this place is exquisite." "What is exquisite, Su?" asking her baby brother Brandon "It means pretty" Su said kida of meanly. "Kids be nice and remeber we do not own this part of land.' Emily said Emily is a stonekeeper fro, the book Amulet. So giving credit to author! "Ms. Emily are you sure it is safe here. I mean, we are stangers here." Said Misket worriedly. They had not been out for a very long time that he gets concerned for every little thing. "My little pink robot like bunny Miskit no worriers we are safe the King and Queen are sure it is very safe, and talk about how rich their country is." Emily sid trying to soth misket. Miskit looked out the window; and he saw an amazing view it was like riding on a magical pony or something. "I guess you are right Emil-" Misket Said. "Mommy HELP! Su is pushing me of the ship!!!" said poor little Brandon. "Shut up Brandon! You said you want to fly and be just like Uncle Navin didn't you say so your self?!" Su said trying to push here brother off. "Ahhhhh! Brandon was falling and the ship was about to land. Emily ran to use her necklace, but it was to late... Some young girl caught him. Emily could hear Brandon crying. "Su come here right now Emily said sternly. "What MOM! You know I want to go down to see if you know who is dead." Su said unpatiently "You are not getting the Amulet. Your brother is. Unless you you grow up some and take care of your brother. But so far you are not getting it. Plus forget about going to the party tonight! You are staying on this ship with Cogsley. Also you need to prove to me you can have the amulet and that is final!" Emily said with the seriuos/sad/i mean it tone. "What! That is not fair!" Su said in protest "What is not fair Miss Su?" Leon said "My mom will not let me go to the party." Su told Leon in a inocent voice. "What happened this time Emily?" Leon said turning to Emily "Tried to kill her brother for the 1,000 time!" Emily said "You mean 1,001. Any way we need to get off right now so are you coming?"Leon said. The girls did not repiled they just walked off the ship. The little boy I caught was crying. I could not bear it so much. So I sang a sothing songf, but to my suprise people where coming of the ship. Stop those tears you are fine Resting in my arms with butterflies And stars fly, so stop those sad sad tears. And make a smile and make everything smile. "Wow you are a good singer." a random person said. I turned around slowly and saw a pink bunny. Itried not to lick my lips, because the bunny had tuna suace all over his face. "Why thank you, do you know who this child belongs to?" I said kinda fast. "Yes I do he lives with me." said the pink bunny. I put the boy to the ground and he ran to the bunny. "Well... Bye!" I said and ran of. But then I could not move any more. Ek I thought they are going to kill mde, but then I remebered about my stone in my heart and broke the shield. I turned around and saw a women with an amulet on. I gulped. She was going to see the king and queen... This was bad, very bad. The king and queen could be here right now. "Thank you very much for saving my son, Brandon. You can call me Emily or Miss Emily." said Emily Soon after that I was put in jail and the people who put me in jail. Helped me out and I told them, "My peopleare not treated fairly. We are not free. We need your help." They helped and now we are leaving in peace for now.... Sorry for ending the book like that I promise it would be better in book 2.. Publication Date: July 29th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-lpsrfun123

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rachelblack123-lost-sister/

rachelblack123 *Lost Sister* Happy love Publication Date: May 24th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-rachelblack123

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rain-the-lust-junkie-039-s-diary/

Rain The Lust Junkie's Diary Publication Date: March 18th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-rain1983

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chalen-d-039-s-amy-d-rampage-rylie-039-s-view/

Chalen D's AMY D. Rampage Rylie's view THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN BY LITTLE SISTER AMY D. ALWAYS BE YOURSELF EVEN IF IT DAMNS YOU. i really didn't beleive in the word love. everyone says it exsists, but i don't think it does. i have been alive for 15 years and i have never seen a good relastionship. they all fall apart. my mom and dad where together for three years. they always fought so they got divorced. he moved to ohio and she moved to california. my little sister, joey adn i lived with my mom. every weekend we went to see him. i love living with my mom. she's the best. okay, i'm lying. she's horible. she never lets me go to high school parties. she thinks i'm going to get raped or something. she never let's me have any friends over, except dani, who i've known scince the 7th grade. she thinks that they would steal. dani says what's on her mind, and i'm more of the quite type. we're the perfect pair. she always tells me that i don't stick up for myself, so she has to be out spoken. i just laugh and say whatever. she's the wild party type. she always sneeks out of her house to go to parties her mom told her not to go to.once in a while i go to her house to spend the nightand really just go there to sneak out. i almost got caught once. but anyways dani, is very tall. she's thin with semi thick legs. her hair is blonde and every long. her eyes arelight blue with green and gray woven into them.she's very pretty acourding to the guys in our school.she can pretty much get any guy she wants.i have a fewadmirers, but im not interested. they are all just affter one thing.and i'm not going to fuck some guy, and then have him totaly ignor me the next day.or have aids or something. puls what if the condom breaks. i am way to young to have a baby. i don't want to go through the kind of stress that dani went through when she got pregnant.she had to get an aborsin though, cause of her dad. if her mom found out she would kill dani. our mom's don't know about our secret lifes. they know the fake us. the us that always gets good grades,always makes good choices and never gets into trouble.basicly they know us as goody goodies, but the real us is on the wild side. we sneak out to parties. sleep with guys... well she does i dont. we drink all the time, and get drunk off of our asses. like last week dani got a tatto from this seventeen year old, at this party, then fucked him after to repay him for it. the tatto said, live it up drink it down and party till you hit the ground. that was at this guys party out in beaumont. we live in hollywood(la). my mom is a famous photographer. she has a lot of money. she always makes sure, me and my little sister joey, have money on us. my little sister is 2 grades lower than me. she's in the 8th grade, which means i'm in the tenth grade. she's got long bleach blonde hair like mine. her eyes are green like my mothers. my eyes are navy bule, with a tint of gray. she's thin and comes up to my chin. i like to hang out with her sometimes with dani. but when i go to parties i leave her out. i just pay her my money to tell mom i'm at dani's house spending the night even though i'm at a party. she does a good job, of backing my ass up. if she has something to hide, i would back her up too. it's the sister's code. i feel kinda bad for leaving her alone all the time. but knowing joey she can have lots of fun by herself. she's crazy and funny like dani. she doesn't fuck do drugs of drink like dani does. joey tells everyone that she's dani's sister instead of mine. she's embarssed of me, because, i'm normal and she's not. but any ways, this weekend i have to go to my dads, which i don't mind. i can actuly go to parties and drink when i'm with him. he knows about all the things i do with dani. he doesn't care as long as we use pertection. he's in a band and leaves all the time, but tells my mom we're at home all together. it's a long drive to ohio. i usually sleep and eat, th whole ride there. joey listens to her music on her lap top and eats. usually when we get there my mom gives my dad a rude look and starts to cry when we say goodbye. then she leaves, and we eat and talk. "so rylie hows school?" my dad asked. "it's okay. still getting thoughs good grades." i said, with a smile. "that's good. and joey, i heard you never pay attention, in class, and still never fail. that is amazing." he said, grinning. "yes. yes it is." joey said, taking a mouth full of mash potatos. "i'm proud of you honey, for not failing." he said, grabbing his coat. "well, i'm off to my gig. i would offer you guy to come but i know you aren't really into it. love you girls." he said, walking out the door. we said love you too. i cleaned up the dishes, and went to the bathroom. joey followed me and sat on the toilet, watching me put on makeup. "where you going?" she asked. "i'm going to our cousins party." i told her, as i put on eyeliner. "wchich cousin?" she asked. "bailey. she's going to be here in an hour, to pick me up." i said. "your going by yourself?" joey scoffed. "no, i'm going with bailey and dani." i said, putting on lip gloss. "wait how's dani here in ohio?" she asked, perking up. "bailey picked her up, and brought her here." i said. "okay, and rylie?" joey said. "no more question's joey, untill i get back please." i said, looking at her. there was a honk outside. "oh i have to go love you joey." i said, as i patted her head, and ran out the door. i ran out to meet dani at the edge of the lawn. we ran to the big gray truck. as we jumped in i noticed that my cousin bailey wasn't there. instead it was a guy. he had black hair, and his eyes where a light blue. he had angel bites and gadges. he was some what cute... he kept glancing at me. when we got there dani thanked him for the lift and grabed my hand and led me to the house. ther was flashing colorful lights everywhere. the place was crowded. dani went to some room with some guy. my cousin was in the room with two guys doing god knows what. i felt sick all of the sudden. i walked out to the back yard and put my feet in the pool. i closed my eyes, and heard a voice. "hey!" the voice said. i turned around to see the guy who drove us to the party. "hi." i said. "i'm sorry i didn't get to intorduce myself erlier. i'm tyler." he said. "you are?" he asked with his hand out. i stood up and took his hand. "i'm rylie." i said, with a smile. "nice to meet you rylie." he said, still holding my hand. "nice to meet you too." i said, wondering when he would let my hand go. "do you want a drink?" tyler asked, with a smile. "yes, i would like that."i said, as he let my hand go, and went to go get some drinks. i was sitting on a chair outside when he walked up, with the drinks. he gave me one, and we did cheers. we sat there telling eachother about our selfs. "rylie, your a pretty cool, person, you know that." tyler said, looking at me. "i'm not really that cool." i said. "i have never met anyone that made me have fun, except for my best friend dani." i said, looking at the ground. "well i think that's about to change. how would you like, to go for a ride?" he said, stroking my cheek. i texted dani, and asked her if it was cool, if i left with tyler. she said, to have fun and to be careful. i looked at him, and said, "lets go." he grabbed my hand and we ran to his car. he parked the car at a park. "rylie do you have a boyfriend?" he asked. "as suprising as this sounds, i don't." i said. "oh well, have you had, one before?" he asked. "well not exactly... it was more of a makeout buddy." i said, as i giggled. "oh so i take it, your a good kisser?" he said. "well i don't know." i said, my cheeks feeling hot. "well i can find out, if oyu let me." he said, looking at my lips. i sat still as he put his hand on my cheek, and kissed me. i kissed him back with my eyes closed. "wow." he said. "what?" i asked. "you are a pretty good kisser." he said. "thanks you are too." i said, smiling. "do you want to go some where for the night?" he asked. "we can go to my dad's house." i said. "isn't that kinda wiered?" he asked, with a wiered look on his face. "no, my dad is not going to be back untill tomorrow, and my little sister told me she's going to my other cousins house." i said. "okay lets go." he said,l turning the car on. soon enough we where at my dads house. we went up to my bedroom. we sat on my bed and talked. "rylie i like you." he said, slightly blushing. "well, i like you too tyler." i said, as i ran my fingers through his hair. "no i mean, i really like you." he said. before i could say something else, he kissed me. this time he shoced his tongue into my mouth. as we kissed he layed me down on the bed. i kinda wanted him in that way, but just couldn't right now. i wasn't prepared. he got on top of me and gabed my hips still kissing me. as he kissed my neck i pushed him off. "i'm sorry... did i come on to strong?" he asked. "no i just don't want to do this..."i said. "oh is this your first time?" he asked. "no. i have done this before." i said. "then what is it rylie?" he asked, in a sweet voice. "i have two reasons. one beacuse i don't want you too break my heart. two, i don't have pertection." i said. "ok it's fine. i wont rush you, or break your heart, i'm not like that." he said, as he kissed my shoulder. "let's go watch a movie." i said, as we walked to my door. i stoped and locked my door. "rylie what are you..." tyler was saying. i kissed him. as i looked at him, he asked. "are you sure?" i nodded. even though i had sex before this time it was perfect. Publication Date: April 27th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-chalen

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-nicole-white-the-life-i-used-to-live/

Nicole White The Life I used to Live A deep tale Knowing the real you Why does life have to be so cruel? What does it mean to be hated? loved? Well soon you'll know. It all started like this..... " Hey Bridget!,I was wondering if you could do my spanish homework for me." asked Todd,the school jock."Sure Todd, what else to I have to live for?" said Bridget. "Exactly, you don't have a life, so finish it by 3:00 you dutch!" said Todd. " What's a Dutch?" asked Bridget. "You" Todd said. Bridget was pissed. She couldn't believe that the nicest guy on earth was treating her like gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. "You know what Todd,do your own homework you dumb Jock!" " What? do you realize that I can ruin your pathetic little life?!" "Do what you want, my life sucks here anyway". "Fine,I'll get my babe to beat you up". "Just great,thought Bridget, now he is getting his girl Nina". Nina was the capitain of the volleyball team. No suprise there. "At least I stood up to that dumb jock" Bridget said to herself. Just then Nina appeared out of no where, and punched Bridget. "Don't you ever speak to my man like that again, do you here me hoe! said Nina furious. Bridget was pissed. She was tired of everyone picking on her. So she got up, and slapped Nina square in the face. Nina was stunned. No one had ever hit her before. She felt so ashamed, and humiliated. The side of her face was black and blue. "Aha, Nina just got pimp slapped by a nerd" someone shouted. "Yo, we got mad respect for you now Bridget" someone else said, as Nina ran away. 10th grade was going to be good from now on,thought Bridget, I know the real me. Life is good From then on, Bridget started dressing cool, and hanging out with the popular crowd. However, Nina had to sit with the freaks and geeks. " Hey Bridget, said a familiar voice, do yo wanna go out with me? Bridget turned around and looked at him with "are you serious?" eyes. " Todd,you are dating that ugly Nina, and you were rude to me so hell no" "But I broke up with her for you" said Todd in a sad voice. " That's bull spit!" said Bridget. "Bridget, it's true he did" said her new friend Deleware. " Really, are you sure Todd?" " Well du- I mean of course I did. "Okay let's go out" said Bridget. And there you have it. They went out exclusively. Nina, of course knew, and was not happy about it. So she decided to get revenge. But she couldn't. Bridget had a crew to protect her at all times. She was totally doomed. HELP! she thought. Nina was sitting at home, when her mind went into genious mode. She thought of the most perfect plan in the universe. Soon she will have the popularity crown once again. What Just happened? My life is over, thought Bridget. In minutes, I'll be gone. No one will ever hear from me ever again. Bridget had been rushed to the hospital. Se had been run over by a steam roller truck. Her body flatened, and torn into two. Why? What had she done to deserve this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No one cared that she was in a hospital, not even the people in the hospital. She wondered who called the ambulance. Just then, her answer walked in the room. "Hello Bridget, did you have fun getting run over by me?" " Sir, a doctor said, did you just say you ran her over"? " Yes I did." " Todd, you did this to me? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!, I am dying over here!" " Well, it's like this: Nina called me last night and asked me for a favor. She needed to get rid of you, because she wanted her popularity back. So she said she'd give me 15,000 dollars, and my first expirience in driving a veichle, if I tried to kill you. Her dad owns a steam truck buisness, and it was a perfect opprotunity for me to drive. I couldn't refuse"! " Did it ever occur to you that maybe you could have made your own money and by a car by being a proffesional football player or something? You are taking away my life because you wanted money and to drive"!said Bridget. " You get to live, do you know what I wanted to do in life? but I can't since I am dying? My life is over sobbed Bridget. " You know what, you are dumb. I hope no one loves you again." sobbed Bridget harder. " Well, I don't care. Hope you had a nice life. Just then, the police walked in with hancuffs, and arrested Todd. Bridget had just died. This is so sad. Why her? Why? Nina, and Todd had been sentenced to all eternal life in prison. Nina's no so popular now is she? R.I.P Text: Nicole White All rights reserved. Publication Date: December 14th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-gingerale5555

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lexie-roberts-school-of-faith/

Lexie Roberts School Of Faith. Not all is true... Starting the faith. There was this girl. Her name was Kelly. She was a freshman in high school and she was 14. But her life wasn’t perfect like most. She went to sunshine high school. But it wasn’t all sunshine. There was this gang. Three girls, Ashley, Brittney and the meanest one of all Jennifer. In the morning Kelly picked out a white t-shirt and black ripped skinny jeans. She went to the bathroom to brush her beautiful brown hair. She put on lip gloss. Ashley put on a yellow belly button shirt and light blue shorts. She crimped her golden hair. She also put on pink lip stick. Brittney put on a ripped blue shirt that said “Don’t mess with me.” She had brown hair with purple at the ends and she put on makeup. Then the meanest of the all, Jennifer put on a shirt that said “Hey there mister.” And the shirt was blue. She also put on blue shorts. She put on a rubber band and tied it in the back so that her belly button would show. She had golden blond hair with hot pink streaks in it. She said “Ha ha Kelly won’t get anywhere today he he.” When they got to school Ashley rode in her yellow bug car, Brittney had a charger that was silver, and Jennifer had a mustang. The strips were hot pink and the rest is black. Kelly rode the bus. Jennifer came up to her boyfriend, Jake. Jake had brown hair that was well kind of long and swept across his face and kind of blocked out his eye. Jennifer and Ashley and Brittney walked into school fashionably and everyone looked at them and like whispered “Wow.” They walked to their locker. Then Kelly came and they giggled. They said to everyone “Hey look at the loser!” They all laughed and pointed. Kelly just kept looking down and went to her locker. She met up with her two friends, Maya and Mackenzie. Kelly said “Yeah bully alert.” “Of course.” Said Maya. Jennifer saw Jake coming to her. They kissed. Then the bell rang. Kelly and her friends went to math. They giggled. Maya said “No reason to be afraid. You have faith in you.” She smiled. Jake told Ashley “See you later babe.” She kissed him on the cheek. She said “Bye bye baby.” After first class was over Brittney tripped Kelly. She also dropped her books. Jake made sure Ashley wasn’t looking and helped Kelly pick up her books. When she looked up at him she said “Why are you here?” Jake said “Not all mean girls boyfriends have to be mean.” She smiled. Got all her books and said “Thanks.” Then walked away. "Ugh what were you doing over there with her Jake!!" Jennifer said. "You don't have to always boss me around. I have a life. You don't. All you do is make fun of people and just be mean. Well i'm not like that so give up Jennifer!! It's over so bye!" Jake walked away. Everyone gasped. "Oh no he just didn't." Said Jennifer. "Well I guess he did. You don't need him. All you need is just keep ruling the school and be mean to Kelly." Brittney said. Publication Date: November 15th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-lexiebrooke12

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-marionette-fantome-outcast/

Marionette Fantome OUTCAST Onyx To my loveliest friend, for your gorgeous and unique drawings always manage to give me inspiration for my writing. Chapter 1 How many times was I going to listen to girls giggle and fawn over me? Honestly, it was getting rather annoying, and these girls already knew that I was dating someone: Myra. She was the only girl for me and nothing anyone said could change that. She was cute, beautiful, and sexy all at the same time. I could talk about her all day if I wanted. I mean, her only flaw was her obsession with her looks…and having control over people. But, she was really cool once you looked passed that. The only problem I had with everything was that every single guy seemed to go after her, even though they knew that she was with me, the captain of the football and soccer teams. It was pissing me off, but I couldn’t start anything, especially when I was looking at sports scholarships. Myra and I were heading to class when some guy approached her with a bouquet of roses. Did he not see me at all? I scowled at him and she giggled at me, placing a kiss on my cheek. “I have every reason to be annoyed.” “Don’t be, babe.” She looked at the admirer. “Sorry, man, but I’m not interested.” “Yeah, so beat it, bub.” “Scott.” “Myra, you know I get jealous. I’d rather voice my opinions instead of showing them.” “I understand.” Her eyes trailed off to a person who I recognized to be an acquaintance of hers. I only recognized her by her hair, which looked to be multicoloured. Myra always went to her just to see if she could tutor her. But, that was what I was here for. “I’ll meet you in class. ‘Kay babe?”  “Yup.” I watched her skip towards the girl and continued to class. A lot of girls would take this opportunity to approach me, but I would just ignore them. I entered the classroom and sat down at my desk. As soon as I was able to relax, I felt a firm slap on my shoulder and I turned to find David, a good friend of mine. “Did another guy attempt to steal your girl?” “Yeah.” “Why don’t you just make it known?” “And start drama? Hell no.” “It’s better than sitting on the sidelines.” “Dave, I know Myra won’t fall for any of those idiots. I trust her.” “Dude, I know you do, but I think you should seriously reevaluate your relationship with her. Actually, better yet, her. She’s not all that she says.” “Not this again.” “I’m serious, Scott. I get that you love her and shit, but have you ever thought about how other people actually see her?” “Nobody really thinks she’s all that bad.” “Are you listening to yourself right now? I have one prime example: Indigo.” I blinked at him. “What does a colour have to do with this?” “Not a colour, a girl.” “Who the hell names their child Indigo?” “Hey, I think it’s pretty cool. Anyway, Myra always targets her because she was never…a part of this school. She’s real quiet and a loner. The only reason why I noticed her is because of Myra. She likes to make her feel like shit because she just might be prettier than her, especially with that body.” “What kind of body does she have?” “Kind of plus-sized, super curvy. It’s fucking hot actually.” “You’re a pig. And Myra doesn’t do that.” “If you don’t believe me, then fine, but don’t come crying to me when you find out that she isn’t your perfect little girlfriend.”   <><><>    My eyes were trained on the smartboard, attempting to comprehend the math problem in front of me. I furrowed my brow as I noticed a mistake in my calculation and decided to restart. Myra was playing with her phone yet again, and I sighed. She never really liked to get her work done. No wonder she needed tutoring. Once I finished the problem to my satisfaction, I heard someone walk up to the desk. I looked up to find one of the students that sat in the back. She was short and kind of plump, but not overly so. Her hair cascaded down her back in tamed multicoloured curls. I could never remember her name, but I always recognized her. Myra always went to her in the morning and they just talked about stuff. I didn’t know what really. I did always tried to fit the chick in somewhere, but couldn’t. She wasn’t a band geek as far as I could tell, and she wasn’t a nerd or a hipster. I just didn’t know. She just didn’t fit…anywhere. Nowhere… I almost smacked myself in the face when I realized who she was. She was the girl David was talking about. Indigo, was it? Honestly, why would Myra pick on her? She’s nothing special, just another one of those loners that haven’t grown out of their scene phase. She did nothing to deserve anything ill on her, so there’s no way Myra would even waste a foul breath on her. “Scotty, you okay?” “Hm? Yeah.” “You sure? You’ve been staring at that girl for a bit. You’re not planning on cheating on me, are you?” “That’s a stupid question, of course not. David had this stupid thing about you. He said that you harass her.” She chuckled. “He’s just upset that I rejected him and now he’s starting rumours about me. You know that I’m not like that.” “I know. He’s just being an asshole.” “Yeah.” “Love you.” “Love you, too.”   <><><>    Friday at 7:37 pm: Dude   Friday at 7:37 pm: wht?   Friday at 7:38 pm: sry, man.   Friday at 7:38 pm: for?   Friday at 7:40 pm: talkin shit bout Myra   Friday at 7:41 pm: im still kinda pissed   Friday at 7:42 pm: ik. Hey r u gonna go 2 tht rave tonite?   Friday at 7:42 pm: nah, hw   Friday at 7:43 pm: it’s Friday u nerd   Friday at 7:44 pm: college man. Need the gud grades   Friday at 7:45 pm: but u need 2 relax. U deserve it   Friday at 7:45 pm: i don’t wanna go   Friday at 7:46 pm: but Onyx is gonna b there   Friday at 7:46 pm: Who?   Friday at 7:49 pm: omg u rly do liv under a rock! Onyx is a kickass musician & dj. Almost like skrillex, but hottr   Friday at 7:50 pm: no. not interested   Friday at 7:50 pm: srsly?   Friday at 7:50 pm: yup   Friday at 7:51 pm: U buzzkill   Friday at 7:51 pm: G2g   Friday at 7:52 pm: L8r   I felt guilty for lying to David. I knew who Onyx was, everyone knew. It was just…I didn’t want to go raving, especially when she was the deejay because people just went crazy over her. Everyone loved her music, but I didn’t. I just thought it was the same as dubstep and just flat out noise. And…I never knew who she really was. That was a deal-breaker for me. I sighed and looked over my calculus homework. Onyx came from out of nowhere and now everyone loved her. She had her own CDs and merchandise that David owned, and I’m annoyed by it. I just thought that there was nothing to her “music”. And now because of her, I couldn’t concentrate on my damn homework! I set my pencil down and got into bed. The rest of the homework could wait until tomorrow. At that moment, I was too tired to think. Chapter 2 Today was hell. Honestly, how could a person go through several bad situations in one day? I dealt with stupid prissy bitches and other bullshit that just gave me a headache. I needed to escape, but I couldn’t just up and leave in the middle of the day. It went against what I stood for. But, seriously…who the hell did she think she was, thinking that she could harass me like that? She was lucky that I was too nice to cause any bodily harm to her. I really didn’t understand how Scott could be with her. He’s so oblivious to what she actually does. I knew she had a history with half the soccer team as well as the basketball team. I seriously hated her. I lied in bed thinking about what she said to me. She was way too paranoid. I wasn’t really interested in Scott, and did she really think he would actually be interested in me? I wasn’t his type. I was short, chubby, and a nobody. Did he even know that I exist? Probably not. Who really did? Anyone that actually noticed me were those from the football team, and they only noticed me because I was…thicker than most girls. They also believed that I had a big ass, which I didn’t believe. They were just being perverts. I only had a few hours until I had to go to work, and doing nothing wasn’t gonna get me anywhere. I decided to do my chores like my parents had asked. Being the world-renowned doctors they were, they never had time for me. I did everything I could to get their attention, to get them to say something to me…to notice me. Hell, I dyed my hair in order to be reprimanded. Instead, they said it was a nice change and I was free to do whatever I pleased. It was because I wasn’t like the others…their little geniuses. Four older siblings that they adored. My eldest sister, Alice, was an astrophysicist, and Matthew, my eldest brother, was a well-known mathematician. The next one, James, was an anthropologist. And Danica…she was a successful surgeon. And who was I? The outlier. I was a disgrace because I wasn’t as brilliant as they were, any of them. My parents rarely called to check up on me. I was always alone. I wondered if they would care if I killed myself. I mean…I was half-way there with the number of scars I carried. I bet they wouldn’t even mourn for me. They would be sad, of course, but they would move on. They would most definitely care if it was one of the others. If I died, would they forget me?   <><><>    My body pulsated to the beat. It was loud, yes, but damn, was it soothing. It was all I had. I watched as everyone moved to the sounds that I was producing, hypnotized by the odd melody. Those hanging by the walls found themselves being pulled in, becoming tangled in the trance. This was my safe haven. Up here with my mix tables, I controlled everything and everyone. My music told everyone how to dance, and I enjoyed this power. I pushed the limits and it was great. I decided to kick things up a notch. As the music got heavier and crazier, everyone danced in anticipation and excitement. I was also getting ready for it. Getting ready to be rid of all my inhibitions. It was coming, I could feel it. Everyone could. Here it comes…   The bass drop.   All limitations disappeared. Bodies mixed together as the music completely took over. Even I danced along, becoming as hypnotic as my music. My body pulsed and swayed and my hair danced its own entrancing dance. Anyone watching me were taken by my movements, unable to look away. I loved that I had this effect on people. I ruled this place. I was the queen. And no one could do anything about it.   My zone.   Onyx.   Onyx.   Onyx.    That was all I heard. My name being chanted like a spell. I was the revolution. No one could make anyone feel like shit here. All outcasts were welcome.   <><><>    Breakfast was quiet. Mother and father read the paper as I picked at my food. It was rare for them to ever be here so early in the morning, let alone take a day off work. That was why it shocked me when I smelt sausage and pancakes when I woke up. They didn’t even call to tell me. And here we were having breakfast together, but they didn’t even bother to look at me, nor did they bother to strike up conversation. They knew I was never going to do it. That was until my father asked: “So, Indigo, how is school going for you?” “Fine.” “Are you keeping your grades up?” “Yes, father.” “That’s good. We cannot have you tarnish this family’s perfect grade point average.” “Of course. I make sure to focus on my schoolwork.” “That’s good,” mother said. “Oh, your siblings plan to join us next week for Thanksgiving.” That caught my attention. Us? “You’ll be here for break?” “Oh, not the entire break. Just from Thanksgiving Day to that Saturday. It’s been so long since we’ve had the family together. I bet you had someone invite you for Thanksgiving last year.” “Yes.” No. I was alone then. And on Christmas. “Well, we’ll be a family again, and have fun, alright?” “I can’t wait.” Yes, I can.  It wasn’t going to be fun. It was going to be dry, and I was going to be left out like always. I was going to be alone again. The Saturday was odd and unpleasant. My parents were home, but they were still working. I just locked myself in my room and did whatever homework I had. Lunch was eaten in solitude, and dinner was the same as breakfast. Sunday, my parents left early, but not without leaving breakfast for me and a note.   Indigo, We’re sorry that we could not take off for today, but we made breakfast for you. I hope you a lovely day and don’t forget to do your homework.   -Mother & Father   Of course they would say that. Couldn’t tarnish the family name.   I went through my usual routine, and the left for a walk. I watched as young parents and their children smiled and laughed. Siblings played and giggled, and included their younger ones, and I thought of my older siblings. They never included me in their games because I was deemed “not smart enough”. And once I was able to understand everything, they still wouldn’t let me play with them because I was inferior to them. Alice wouldn’t even let me near my own niece and nephew. The same with Matthew and his three sons. I was a disgrace. I ran back home after seeing a particularly touching moment between a couple and their daughter. I locked myself in the bathroom. If I killed myself, would they truly care?   <><><>    “Hey, fatass,” Myra sneered. I fucking hate her. How could anyone really want to be with her? How did Scott love her? He had to be a saint. I would’ve killed her already if I was in a relationship with her. “Fatass. I’m talking to you.” “Yes?” “Have you done my homework yet?” “No.” “What? Why not?” “Because I have no reason to. And I was busy this weekend.” “Like what? You don’t have a life.” “Believe it or not, I do. I go to work, unlike you.” “Yeah, right. Who would hire you? Your own family doesn’t want you.” She was right. No one even cared for me. “I—” “Save it. I better have it by lunch, or you’re gonna meet some friends who have been itching to get a hold of you.” She wouldn’t dare. She would let the football team get to me…would she? “Fine.” I hated her. She hit a low point. I hated myself. I allowed this to happen. I was worthless. I walked to class with an aching body and a damaged mind, but that was normal and no one seemed to care. I always looked like that. I really didn’t care, just as long as no one bothered me. I heard the constant whispered insults towards my physique. Everyone made sure to make it known to me that they were disgusted by it. They made sure to make me know that I didn’t belong in their world. I sat in class, oblivious to the lesson, but listening at the same time. I needed to escape, and the lessons were the only things that could keep me from that other world where I often drift to. I felt eyes burning into me, I ignored them all. I didn’t want to face the pain again. After class, I was approached by David, Scott’s best friend. However, I noticed that their friendship was becoming more and more strained by the day. I bet it was Myra again. How many friendships has she ruined? I looked up at him and he greeted me with a smile that almost charmed my heart. Almost. “Yes?” “How you feeling? I saw Myra talking to you. She was being a bitch again, huh?” I sighed and nodded. “I really don’t know why everyone hates me. I didn’t do anything. I guess my existence disgust everyone here too.” He blinked at me. “Not everyone hates you. I don’t. Scott doesn’t either. Everyone’s just intimidated by you because you’re a junior taking college level courses. Hell, I’m scared of you. You’re too good to be here anyway.” “I doubt it. I should disappear. No one would really care.” “Don’t say that. Your family would.” He didn’t know that. “I highly doubt that.” “Why? Your parents love you. They would be an absolute wreck if you ‘disappeared’. I know I would.” My parents didn’t love me. They have never once said that they loved me in my entire life. “Thanks, but I just don’t think so. I’ll see you another time, David.” I left him to think about what I just said. I went to my second period of science: physics. That was what happened when you allowed your parents to choose your courses. I was happy enough to have orchestra and psychology as electives, but I had to persuade them to allow me to keep the more musical of the two courses. I enjoyed them both immensely, and I had peers that didn’t mind me so much, which was a refreshing change from my everyday life. “Miss Campbell?” I looked up at Dr. Barnes, my physics teacher. “Yes?” “How is your family? Specifically, your eldest sister?” “Oh.” Of course he would ask about her. “Alice is doing well.” I think. “I haven’t had contact with her for some time. She’s awfully busy.” “I bet, being such a famous astrophysicist. Are you going to follow in her footsteps? You have the brains for it.” No, I didn’t. Not like her. “Maybe. I may be a surgeon, actually. Following Danica.” No, she would have hated it. She even said I could never be like her. “Ah, a great career choice. Well, carry on.” “Yes, sir.” I’ll try now that I knew who you like in the family. Who was I to everyone? Was I really that intelligent? Did I really have that potential like my family?   No. I did not.   <><><>    I lied in bed, cradling my wrist. It wasn’t deep enough. I would have to try again another time. I couldn’t bring myself to continue, so I put it down and laid there and waited for the bleeding to stop. It always did. But…I wish it didn’t. Chapter 3  Myra walked back to me after talking to Indigo. She looked a little too satisfied for my tastes, which made me wonder what it was that they actually talked about. “Why do you always talk to her?” “Who?” “Indigo. Why do you always have to talk to her?” “She gives great advice for projects and homework schedules. She also gives advice on how to deal with test anxiety.” Bullshit. Myra never has test anxiety. And her voice was too sweet, even for her. Why was she lying straight to my face? The idea of her lying to me made my blood boil. Don’t tell me that David was right and she was harassing poor Indigo. “Oh, I see.” “You okay, Scott? You look stressed.”  “Yeah, I guess I am kind of stressed.” Because of you. “Aww…maybe a nice massage after school will help you? How about it?” Sex. Not in the mood. “No, it’s nothing too serious. I’ll be better by tomorrow.” “You sure?” No. “Positive. Alright, babe, I gotta get to class.” “Okay.”   <><><>    English was quite possibly the only class I enjoyed in my entire schedule. I loved the works that we got to read, like The Great Gatsby . But nothing beats poetry. Except for work that we had to do for it. We were looking at Robert Frost. I mean, I like Frost, but when we had to do projects for his poems, I despised it. My motivation to do something so tedious was almost non-existent. What was worse was being partnered with someone of the teacher’s choice. Mrs. Statia always paired me with some incompetent idiot who couldn’t make sense—or at least try to make sense of any of his poems. For this particular project, she thought it would be okay to stray away from Frost and choose a poem. I was happy with that, but she was still picking our partners. I really hoped that I wasn’t going to be paired with Jackson. Anyone that couldn’t pronounce the word “conscience” shouldn’t be put within a foot of me. As Mrs. Statia called out names, I looked around anticipating the person that I was doomed to work with. Then, I heard my name, and another that I didn’t expect. I was going to work with Indigo. At least I had someone who was smart. I turned to look at the junior and found her staring at me, but she turned away once we made eye contact. “Scott?” I turned to my English teacher. “She’s really shy, so I want you to be patient with her. I paired her with you because you are the least likely to judge her too quickly. Her therapist said that she needs to be social and open up. No one in here can help her do that except for you, so please?" “I gotcha.” I got up and approached Indigo, but as soon as I got within two feet of her, the poor girl started shaking. She really must have been anti-social to react like that. I didn’t think she would be this shy. “Hey, I’m Scott. I hope you don’t mind working with me.” She just sat there, still shaking. I had to be patient or there would be problems. There was no way she was gonna say anything. That was until she opened her mouth. “I-I…don-don’t mind…” She was so quiet, I had to strain to hear her, but I still managed to pick up her response. I heard from her previous partners that she can go through an entire assignment without uttering a single word. She just did the work and said nothing. People got so annoyed by it that they’d request a group change, and she’s often working alone. It was pretty sad. “Alright. So…what should we do?” “O-Oh…m-maybe one of S-Shakespeare’s sonnets? I-I was th-thinking ‘ Shall I compare Thee to a summer’s Day’? O-Oh, but it may be a little too sappy for you. Ah, ‘My Papa’s Waltz’ by Roethke? You can interpret it in many ways. I-I personally found it heartwarming. Maybe something by Neruda? O-Or Lord Byron? Emily Dickinson is good. Hmm… ’The Torso’… oh, dear no! That one may be a little…risqué for this project. Ah, how about—oh, Christ…I’m rambling.” Was she rambling? I had to admit, it was pretty cute. That was the first time I’ve ever seen her be so animated about anything. “I don’t mind. At least you’re talking. Hey, how about something with a grittier background to it?” “Hmm…I like that idea. War poems are good. If we work on it, we could do something really cool with it. Maybe some type of visual interpretation? Ah, but I understand if that may be a little out there for you.” “We’ll work that out later. First, the poem.” “Okay. What do you suggest?” “‘Le Déserteur’ by Boris Vian. It’s in French, but the meaning behind it is actually really good.” “I know of the poem. It is very good. We can use that.” “Cool. So…where do you wanna continue?” “Wh-What?” “Where are we gonna meet for the project? Your place or mine?” “I don’t know if your place would be okay because of Myra, and my home is a little out of sorts at the moment. Not to mention that I may have visitors, but I doubt that they would remember to actually come by and--” She stopped as soon as I placed a hand on her shoulder. I didn’t expect her to react by turning beet red. Maybe nobody ever touched her much. It was endearing, actually, to know that she’s simply very pure. “My place. If you’re worried about Myra, then I can deal with her.” I had to anyway. I needed to know what she has been doing to Indigo. “O-Okay…okay.” “Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine, I promise. All you have to do is come over.” “Oh…um…I don’t know where you live.” “Yeah? Then, I’ll drive you. Today sound good?” “Yes, it’s perfect.” “Great.” At that, the bell rang and she got up with her things. “Oh, your fourth period?” “Orchestra.” “Alright, I’ll meet you there.” She nodded and I watched in awe at how quickly she was able to disappear in the crowd, becoming invisible to the eyes of the cruel society of this school. I turned back around to find David coming up to me with a knowing smile plastered on his face. “Well?” I sighed in defeat. “Alright, I admit she’s cute.” “How cute?” “Pretty cute.” “‘Pretty cute’? Scott, Myra is nowhere to be found. I think you can be honest now.” “Fine…she’s so cute that it should be a sin. How the hell is she single?” Did no one seriously ever think to ask her out? Was it because she wasn’t part of a major clique? “I’m not sure, but I’m gonna change that. I’m gonna ask her out.” I blinked at him. I wasn’t expecting that . “What?” “I wanna ask her out. She’s easy pickings and super sweet. Not to mention that killer body. That’s something I wanna do all night long.” I felt my eye twitch. He really was a pig. “Really? That’s why you want her? Just for sex?” “And she’s sweet.” “Wow, David, you’re an ass. She’s too good for you. She deserves someone who could make her feel better about herself, and you’re just gonna make her feel cheap. You’re no better than the rest of the football team.” “Ouch. You’re that offended?” “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.” “Then, do something about it.” “What?” “Act on it. Do something. You’re probably the only one that could get through to her.” “What do you mean?” “I think she’s suicidal.” “David, don’t say stuff like that.” “No, I’m being serious. I was talking with her yesterday after Myra harassed her again—which Indigo confirmed, by the way—and she got all depressed. She said some really messed up things like she should disappear and that nobody would care. I told her not to say that and that her family would miss her, and she completely shot that idea down. Dude, she wasn’t joking around with that. She was really contemplating it. And I’ve noticed that she had been wearing longer sleeves. She always wore short sleeves. They covered her hands, and don’t tell me that she was cold because the temperature hasn’t even dropped yet. I’m worried, Scott.” “I’m sure it’s nothing.” David scoffed at that. “Why does everyone say that? I know when a person’s thinking about throwing in the towel. My sister did it, Scott. Remember?” I remember. I wished I didn’t. “I just don’t want another person to do that, especially when I could’ve done something. Now, I want you to take care of her, and make sure she feels loved because I think that’s what she needs.” “Dave, you know I can’t do that. Myra--”  He snapped. “Fuck that whore! She’s been sleeping around behind your back!” “What? No, she wouldn’t do that?” “Oh, my god, Scott! How fucking stupid are you?! She would do that! She did that! She got half the soccer team—you can ask them—the entire basketball team, and she’s working on the football team! Why the hell do you think that guys keep asking her out?! I’m tired of you constantly siding with her even when you’ve noticed that she’s not who you think she is! Dump her!” He sighed, taking a moment to collect himself. “Myra isn’t worth your time or affection. Indigo is. Since you won’t let me date her, then you do it. Love her like you’ve never loved before because it may be the last time you ever will.” It was my turn to sigh. “David, it’s not that easy.” “Do it for Indigo. Think about her. If you date her, you could stop whatever bullshit is going on in her life. It doesn’t have to be right away, but start with today and getting to know her. Be slow about it.” I growled. Him too, huh? “I know. Why do people think I’ll hurt her?” “Because you’re her last hope.”   <><><>    She was playing the cello when I found her. She looked so at peace and serene, it was too pretty for me to look away. I hope she didn’t mind me listening. Not so sure about the staring. It was astonishing how talented she was. She was in AP Physics and took AP Calculus with the rest of us. Not to mention her vast knowledge of English Literature. Even Statia didn’t know as much as she did. What was she playing? It sounded so familiar. Once she ended, I clapped and she dropped her bow. Oops. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. That was beautiful. I thought you played the violin. I never expected you to play cello.” “O-Oh…thank you. I do play violin, but not often. I’m the first chair cellist for the orchestra.” “I figured. What were you playing?” “Cello Sonata No. 1 in E Minor, op. 38.” “That was beautiful. I should hear you play more often.” “Oh…well…I’ll allow it for you only.” “Really? Wow, I feel honoured.” She giggled at that, which made my heart tremble. What I would do to make her make that sound again. “I guess I should pack up and get ready.” “Yeah.” I watched her do that and sighed. David was right. She was wearing longer sleeves. She didn’t even bother to roll them up to play her cello. She must be hiding something. Once she was ready, we set out to my car and drove to my place. I hoped Myra wasn’t there already, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to face her. Maybe Indigo knew about it. I could ask her. She wouldn’t lie about it…would she?   Chapter 4  Scott's house was nice and comfortable, however, I didn't expect it to be so large, which made me feel even more inferior. My home was nothing to scoff at due to my parents' occupations, but it was nothing compared to this. He opened the door and led me inside to one of the sitting rooms, which was lavishly furnished, yet still held that simplistic charm. "Make yourself at home. Mi casa e su casa." "Th-Thank you." "Do you want anything to eat? Or drink?" "O-oh, I don't want to intrude." He tsked at me and gestured for me to sit. "You're not intruding. Besides, I've got plenty of food that my mom and sisters won't eat because they're on a diet. You can have whatever they're not eating." "Are you sure?" "Positive. Tell you what, let me get you some snickerdoodles that my brother baked earlier. You can eat that. Do you want some water?" "Yes, please." "Alright." He hurried to thee kitchen and I waited patiently for him. As I did, I looked at the various pictures of a young Scott and his siblings, all laughing and smiling. Did we have any photos like that? I couldn't recall a time a where my entire family was happy. He came back with a plate of cookies and water and set them on the coffee table. "Go ahead and dig in. Don't worry about me, I'm not that hungry." "Okay." I took a cookie and ate it slowly, and my eyes widened as a blush painted my face. These were... "They're that good, huh?" Scott chuckled. My face grew darker at his response. I nodded. "They're fantastic. I don't recall ever having snickerdoodles this good." "Well, my brother would be happy to hear that." "Um...forgive me for asking, but how many siblings do you have?" "Six. I have an older brother, Leonard, two older twin sisters, Allison and Mikayla. Then, I have two younger brothers, Lucas and Mark. Last, is the baby of the house, Jessibelle. She's four years old." "Aw, how precious. So, you're the middle child?" "Yeah. It's rough, but I love them. How about you?" "I have four older siblings, two brothers and two sisters." "That sounds fun." I looked down at my lap. It was never pleasant to talk about my family. "Not particularly." I didn't realise I said it until I was met with only silence. "I shouldn't have said anything." "Hey, it's okay, you can tell me. Why not?" I looked at him, my beginning to water. "Because...Because they don't love me." He blinked. "That's ridiculous. Of course they love you." "No, they don't. Ever since I was young, they had always treated me like I was not their child. I was the odd one out. I didn't hold the same talents as them, and they saw me as an outlier. The ugly duckling, so to speak. Everyone was a prodigy, but I wasn't. I didn't hold such a knack for science or math like they did. My parents surgeons. The eldest, Matthew, is a mathmatician. The second one, Alice, is an astrophysicist while the next one, James, is an anthropologist. Lastly, Danica...she decided to follow in my parents' footsteps and became a surgeon, and is as famous as them. And here I am. A complete waste of genetic material. I am nothing." "You're not nothing." "They have told me that I will never compare. I wasn't as smart as them, and I never will be. My parents forget me, and I'm always left alone. Always. It never helped that they always jabbed at my weight. I remember I was left at a store, and no one came back to get me. I walked home.  Walked.  Do you know what it's like for a seven-year-old to walk  alone  in the  dark?  And they didn't care." "Indigo..." "I try to please them, but they never noticed. It's come to trying to get their attention. I dyed my hair for them to yell at me, but they just brushed it aside. They have never once told me that they loved me, and--and--" I felt arms around me. They pulled me into a strong embrace. It was...warm, and sincere. "Is that why you're hurting yourself?"  My eyes widened. "H-How did you--" "David noticed. Then I noticed. You're wearing long-sleeved shirts. You know, you're not a disgrace. You're probably one of the smartest people I've ever met. You're you. A fan-fucking-tastic human being, and nothing anyone ever says should make you think otherwise. I--" "Scott, stop." Please stop. Don't force yourself. "Stop what? Telling the truth? I don't think so. You're not alone anymore. I'm here now. I know I may not seem like much, but I'm willing to be the start." "But...Myra..." She'll kill me. "Apparently, she's been cheating on me." So he found out. "I wanna know if it's true. I bet she's threatened you about telling me, huh?" He could see right through, couldn't he? "Yes." "I thought so. Indigo, I want you to come to me from now on. I don't care about Myra right now. From now on, it's gonna be you that I give my undivided attention to. You and I are gonna spend time together. Alright?" "But--" "I'm not taking no for an answer." He was something else. No wonder he was so sought after. He was stubborn, too, but, he meant well. But...should I let him in? What if he used this against me? What if this was all a joke? I looked at him...and melted. He was almost as much of a mess as I was. "A-Alright." "Good. Now, let's get started on this poem, shall we?"   <><><>   After three hours of work, Scott drove me home. "I hope you're okay with this." I nodded. "I am, just as long as you are." "I am definitely okay with this. So...same time tomorrow?" "...Y-Yes." "Awesome." He pulled me in for a hug, prompting me to tense. "I know it's a lot to deal with...to take in, but bear with it, okay? Just know that you have people that care about you. Come to me when you feel lonely, or upset, or if you just wanna hang out. Yeah?" "Yeah..." He was doing so much for me, and it was overwhelming. I sucked in a breath and he rubbed my back. "I got you." I pulled away and smiled, and he chuckled at my bashfulness. Did I dare say he was enchanting? Yes, I did. Enough that I want to kiss him? Absolutely, but I held myself in check. He hadn't officially broke up with Myra and it was way too soon to start any romantic relations with him or anyone for that matter.  I gathered myself and went inside to find no one home. Figures. I put my stuff away and decided to call it a night. But, I couldn't sleep. Not when the afternoon's events played through my mind. I practically spilled my guts to Scott and look where it got me. A potential ticket to getting attacked by the football team. If Myra found out--which she most certainly will--I'm not sure that Scott would be able to protect me. I knew he meant well, but what if it wasn't enough? I was already in enough trouble as it was with the amount of blood I lost in the past. I doubt he would be able to stop my only coping method that I had. But, I had to try...for him. He planned to end a relationship with the most popular girl in school for the likes of me. It was the least I could do. How could I even begin to thank him? He was too good for me. His heart was made of gold. How could I go to him when the need arises? He was everything that could get him anything that he wanted: handsome, smart, athletic, a sweetheart to boot. He had smouldering eyes, a melting smile, a laugh that was music to my ears, and a face that entranced and frightened me. It was interesting. I couldn't describe the feeling he left in me. "Scott, what are you doing to me?"   <><><>   Myra apprached me completely livid, accusing me of making Scott break up with her. She then accused me of telling him, which wasn't entirely true, but wasn't entirely false either. Then, she vowed to get revenge on me when I least expect it. I bet she was going to let her "friends" get a hold of me. I went to tell Scott and he pulled me to his side, refusing to let go, especially in front of watching eyes. He wanted everyone to know that no one was allowed to lay a finger on me. How did Myra ever manage to keep this wonderful creature? David noticed walking together and decided I was in need of another "bodyguard", even though I was against it. This interesting predicament caught the attention of everyone, and I found myself attempting to recede into the depths of obscurity. However, Scott refused to let that happen and opted for a more daring choice: taking ahold of my hand and walking to class together. "I could care less about what people say or thought of me. I'm more worried about you. I'm gonna protect you from the cruelty of everyone. Now, sit here with me. No more sitting in the back. Alright?" "Okay." We sat and I instantly felt self-conscious. My god, I never thought that I would be sitting with the most desired guy in the school. I could practically feel the glares burning holes into me. Whispers of insults toward me reached my ears, but I chose to ignore them. However, Scott was having a difficult time doing the same thing. Before the lesson began, he turned towards the harassers and sent a death glare their way. "Do you guys have a problem? Because I can't seem to see how our personal lives seem to be yours to talk about. Honestly, so what if I dumped Myra? It's not just because of Indigo. It's because she was a bitch that harassed her about her weight, which is actually perfect for her. You're just jealous because you can't compare to her. Now, how about you do us all a favour and shut the fuck up?" He turned and pressed his hand into mine, helping me release the breath that I didn't know I was holding. I didn't realise that he was so angry about it until I looked at him. "You know, you didn't have to bother with me. I deal with stuff like this all the time." "But, you shouldn't. I'm gonna put a stop to this. You deserve repect and I'm gonna make sure you get it. No  more bullshit from everyone, understand?" "Yes." "Good. Now, can I get a hug because I think I need one." I blinked at him. He's oddly emotional, which made me worry. He was gonna sprout gray hairs at this rate. I pulled him in for an embrace, and I felt the tension he was holding dissipate. I squeezed for good measure and released him, a small smile present on my face, and I held his cheek. He returned my smile with a slightly larger and maybe a little sheepish one. I needed to make sure he didn't have to worry about me so much or it was gonna make stressed. He was way too sweet for this. I knew it was only a day, but I couldn't help myself. I was becoming infatuated with him. I was falling for Scott. This couldn't be good...could it?   <><><>   We were in his room this time. We were translating the poem and at the same time, analysing it. It was quite powerful, and I enjoyed it. Scott seemed to be taken by it as well. "That last stanza always gets me. Jesus, it's fantastic." "I agree. This soldier is telling you to shoot him because he doesn't want to fight in the war. That's quite a statement." "Yeah." Before he could say anything more, he heard the front door unlock, and he swore under his breath. "What's wrong?" "My family's home." I blinked. "D-Do they know I'm here?" "Yeah, but they're gonna bug you about it. They love to embarass me." I giggled. "Don't worry. I bet it'll be fine." "Sorry." "What for?" "What they're gonna do to you." Chapter 5 We decided to go downstairs to greet everyone, even though I knew better than to let Indigo encounter my family. My siblings were a pain in the ass, and so were my parents. So, there was a very logical reason as to why I groaned when Leonard asked if Indigo was my new girlfriend, which Lucas and Mark proceeded to tease me about. How did they already find out about Myra? "Damn, you work fast," dad chuckled. "Jesus, dad, no. This is Indigo. She's my partner for that project I told you about." "As long as I don't see that two-timing slut around here, I'm good." "Oh, but Indigo's awfully cute," Allison said, but Leonard beat her to the point. "How do you feel about dating older men?" "Oh, my god! Bye, all of you! Indigo, let's just go back up and work." "Don't forget protection!" That came from Mikayla. "Shut up!" I tugged her back upstairs and we sat in my room, processing everything that had just happened. I must have had the most embarrasing blush on my face, because next thing...Indigo was on the floor, laughing. Actually laughing. It must have been funny for her to watch me get so flustered, but I didn't find it the least bit amusing. So...why couldn't I keep myself from laughing along? Because it was so damn ridiculous not to. Once she calmed down, she sat back up, still smiling and giggling. "I'm--I'm sorry, bu-but your face throughout the ordeal was priceless." "I bet. I never was like that when they met Myra, but then again, they didn't like her." "They only embarrass you when they like the person?" "They're all a very good judge of character. But, the only reason why they dealt with her was because I was happy. I guess her parents told mine that I broke up with her, so yeah. But, since my family tried to pretty much ruin my life, they definitely like you and would probably bug me about you." "Ah, Allison and Leonard..." "Yeah...Ally's a lesbian. Sorry I didn't warn you about that. Or that she goes for sweet and quiet girls, so you're in danger. Leonard was actually being serious. He may try to court you. When he takes interest in something, he makes sure everyone knows it." "Oh...Oh dear." "Yeah. Sorry." "No, it's fine. You have a colourful family. And they care about you. My parents hardly remember me, and my siblings never care to even call." I swear if she's this lonely, she's gonna live with me. I couldn't bear to see her this depressed. Where was that smile I just saw?   <><><>   After much begging on my part, I convinced Indigo to stay for dinner, which my mom was delighted about because she was already fond of her small talk. Leonard and Allison still made advances towards her, which she cleverly shot down, earning my dad's favour all over again. But, I think she had a huge impact on Jessibelle, who wouldn't leave her alone after dinner. She might've become Indigo's favourite as well. She even managed to get her to loosen up around us. And everyone knows Jessi likes a person when she falls asleep in their arms. Indigo looked so at peace with her like that, adoring her like a mother would her own child. I thought she'd be like that. "Please tell me she's gonna be my daughter-in-law," mom said. "Mom, we're not even dating." "But, you might as well be. I've seen the way you look at her. And I think she needs it. I know when a child is cutting. I'm surprised her parents don't know." "Her parents...aren't around much. She's not really on good terms with her family, actually." "I see...That's why she looked so sad earlier. Bring her over as much as possible. She needs a family, and I want us to be that family." Always a saint. "Me too, mom. Just gotta keep Ally and Leo at bay." "Oh yeah." I watched as dad carried the youngest to bed and I approached her. "Let's get you home." She looked a little disappointed but nodded all the same. "Okay." On the way to her place, I noticed her mood change. She was a little glum, completely different from earlier when she was happier. I guess it would be a good idea ot have her over more. Maybe for Thanksgiving?  "Thanks for the ride." "No problem. You know, you're more than welcome to come over. Jessi loves you, and my mom does, too. It's actually nice to have you around. And it seems like you like it there, too. Better than being alone." "Yeah..." "Listen, we're more than willing to be your family. We'll listen to you and we'll help you. My mom kinda figured out your problem, and she's more than willing to help. All you gotta do is say yes." She nodded, her eyes watering. I pulled her in or a hug. "Thank you, so much. I don't know how to repay you." I kissed the top of her head, surprising myself with the action. "You don't have to. But...if you want to...you better keep that cute smile on your face." And there it was. That smile that had my heart going a million miles a minute. Was I falling hard? Maybe. And I couldn't find it within myself to care that I just broke up with Myra yesterday. I wanted to be with Indigo. But, I didn't want to scare her off. But, I was gonna work to make her mine. And make sure no one hurts her.   <><><>   English was rather pleasant. We had finished with the translation and analysis, and now we were trying to figure out the actual presentation. A powerpoint was too mainstream, so we decided to do something unique. I found out that Indigo was good at dance, so we could do a choreography in response to it. She could teach me, and it would be cool, but I doubt everyone would appreciate it. I didn't care, as long as we do well on it and get a good grade. After class, Indigo left with a smile, and I waited for David to come up to me. His face was a mixture between knowing satisfaction and jealousy. "You managed to break through her walls. How the hell did you do that?" "I was honest, and believe it or not, my family helped out. Especially Jessi." "She met them? Including  Allison?  And she's still talking to you?" "And she met Leonard. They both got a thing for her, and mom is already begging for her to be her daughter-in-law." "Wow, already hearing the wedding bells." "Yeah. They adore Indigo. And...I think I should make things official." "You mean...actually asking her out on a date?" "Yeah. I want her as my girlfriend." "Perfect date: Onyx." "No." "Come on, it's awesome. I mean, it doesn't have to be just you two. I can come along as the third wheel." "I'm not even sure if she likes Onyx." "Everyone does. And the new music she's been making is kickass. It's completely different from her usual stuff, and everyone's eating it up. And she only performs on Fridays, so it's perfect. This rave is gonna be the best one yet." "No, David." "Just ask her about it. If she wants to go, then take her, and you'll both have the experience." I groaned. There was no reasoning with him. "Fine. I better be impressed, or I'll kick your ass." "I know."   <><><>   The choreography was simple and complex at the same time, and I couldn't help but feel a little foolish at my part. Indigo encouraged me and kept praising me, which made the entire thing worthwhile. I swear, she was too sweet for her own good. Then, there was the issue of my siblings. Allison and Leonard were too busy watching Indigo, but Mikayla, Lucas, and Mark made it their  duty to make fun of me for everything, which earned a scolding from the junior. "How would you like to try? Dance is not as easy as some make it seem, and since this one is for a poem, it is definitely going to be difficult. Scott is actually doing a good job for a beginner." The three groaned and nodded, ceasing their antics. My mom laughed after hearing that, saying that she could use Indigo around here more often just for that. I agreed. After I finally got half of my part down, we took a break and I made use of it. "So, Indigo...I was wondering...would you like to go out on a date with me?" Smooth. But, it was more than enough to make her stumble ungracefully while she practised a bit of her dance, and gaped at me, the reddest blush I had seen on her yet painting her face. "E-Excuse me?" "Do you wanna go on a date with me?" The look on her face was too cute. She was so shocked and flabbergasted, it was too much. This couldn't have been the first time anyone asked her out. "I...I don't know." Kind of expected that. "How come?" "No one has ever asked me out before. And I'm not sure how everyone would feel about a relationship between us. Myra is already after me, and the football team is trying to make sure that I don't show my face around school again. And your parents might disapprove." "Indigo..." Her insecurities ran deep. But, how deep? "My parents have already accepted you. They like you, and they would love to have you around more often. And everyone at school thinks that we're together. Might as well make it official. Myra and those dicks, I'll handle them, but don't worry about them. So? How about it?" She thought about it. "Where shall we go?" She didn't say yes, but it was a start. "A rave. Onyx is supposed to be there." "O-Onyx?" Did she like her, too? "Yeah. Is that a problem?" "I'm not entirely sure. I am one of her helpers, so I don't know if it would conflict. But, I'm alright with it. Just give me some time after she starts and we'll be able to meet up. Is that okay with you?" "It's perfect." "And maybe after, we can get something to eat." "Sounds good." But, I'll have to listen to Onyx. But, Indigo will be there, so it's not all that bad. "So, Friday?" "Yes." She said yes. I got a date! I really hope I don't fuck it up and ruin the delicate relationship we already had.   <><><>   I came back after dropping her off and met with a knowing smile from my dad. "She really likes you. And you're head over heels for her, son. You better do a good job in keeping her smiling." "Did everyone figure her out this quickly?" "It's alright that you missed it at first. But, her happiness now makes up for it. I'm glad she's part of this family, and I hope you're gonna make it official someday." "Why do you and mom keep saying that?" "In due time, son. In due time." My parents were never this cryptic. So, they knew something that I didn't, and they won't tell me. Whatever it was, it better be good and better be life-changing. But, what if it wasn't? Would I even be able to handle it? Because, I doubt I would, no matter what it was. Not when it involved Indigo. I might just break. I really didn't want it to hurt for me too. I wasn't strong enough for that. Publication Date: August 9th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-marionettefantome5

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Hannah S. Found myself in chains of Love Chapter 1- “Ugghhh.” I tried to turned over, “owwwww.” My head was throbbing, and that’s not an exateration, it seriously hurt! I tried to get up but my body wouldn’t let me. “Ughhh…” That’s all I could manage out. My mind was screaming but my lips thought otherwise. “At least I’m alive. I think.” Wow even my mind doesn’t know where I am. Just then I heard faint voices, I could hear some of the words but I couldn’t make out any of the sentences. “Sleeping...medicine...time...money...home…” That’s when I stopped listing at the words home. Home….Home… Now I noticed I’m not home, I now noticed that this is not my bed, I now noticed that I have spots of blood on me, I now noticed that there are no loud noises like at home, I now noticed that I’m all alone now. The noises left, my thoughts stopped racing, and my soul left me… The only thing still working is my heart I know that because it is pounding so hard! Even though its not a huge heart full of love, it’s still pumpping blood through me. But I’m scared. But how? I’ve never been scared in my whole life! Why now? My heart rate is picking up speed and before I knew it, I was...dead. Or at least I thought I was. Well okay, I was dead a second or a minute, no I think it was maybe an hour or two, but now I’m alive. But I’m dead. Well I’m dead on the inside. But after seven years, I was loved again. It was hard because of that...that…,that memory. That memory was about nine years ago, that was my first love, unfortunatly, well let’s just say he wasn’t exactly the “good” type of guy. He got me in a lot of trouble, actually LOADS of trouble, and he also got me killed. But thank goodness this random guy came and rescued me, (I don’t even remeber his name) then he shot the two voices I heard tallking outside and then, well my first and last love. At least I thought it was my last love, but I thought wrong. Okay before we get into so much of this period of time, let me tell you when this “love” thing started while I try to get out of wherever I am at. Chapter 2-   “Hay Tiff! Wait up!” Janie ran up to me. “You shouldn’t make me run to you after I just had cheerleeding practice, I didn’t stick my landing perfectly, so coach made me run laps after practice.” (As you can see, she talks a LOT!) “Mhmmmh ya…. How fun.” The truth was that I wasn’t listing to her. If you had a friend that talked a lot just tune her out because it’s most likley that she is going to say some pretty weird stuff that you won’t want to hear like, “There are rumors about Jack and Jill kissing! And umm.. like did you see what Shalie was wearing! OMFG that was terrible….” And so on. But the last part was a little funny, but it’s mostly like the first thing she said. Hey! She’s a cheerleader, what do you expect. After a few seconds of walking in the halls one of the football players whistled, “oh my god! That is sooooooooo annoying. Even though I know they aren’t doing it to me, but to Janie, it’s still so annoying.” But as always Jamie is boy crazy, she waves and does a backflip. “Ugghh show off. I can’t even do a summersault.” But I kept on walking like I didn’t care, but I did. She is better than me at like everything, except at school. But then she did the splits. But I grabbed her of the floor and growled in her ear, “Get up and let’s go!” She did as I said and waved to the football players one more time then turned the corner to meet me. “You are so boy crazy!” I said as soon as she approached me. “And that’s a problem?” She asked, “Well yes, and you’re a show off!!” I pressed back. “Well it’s not a problem for me or anyone else here. Is it? Hmmmmm, Hmmmm?” She got really close to my face that I could smell her Cherry bubblegum. Since I couldn’t find anything else to say to her because I knew that she was right, I turned away and walked all the way home. I walked beacuse I usually ride with Janie in her Ferrari.  Chapter 3- When I got home of course it was soooo loud! There was a lot of screaming, crying, fighting, and some eating also. But it all stopped when I walked in. This always happens  I don’t know why. But if you were wondering there were no boys, just girls. Yes, girls. I’m at a home for troubled girls. But the weird thing is that I’m not troubled or mean or anything. You could say that I’m the “perfect” daughter that everyone wants, I do everything that they tell me, I clean a lot, but still I’m at the house for troubled foster girls. My parents gave me up because they said that they didn’t need any children. They abused me because I was crying for them, they didn’t feed me very well, I always had to wear the same clothes everyday. And we weren't poor we were the exact opposite! I know right, awful, horrible. I know you feel bad for me, but don’t, there is no need to. So now you know why I always clean and gets good grades to impress my parents. But now I don’t have any. “Um...Hi?” Whenever they stare at me like that I kind of get a little nervous. When they didn’t say anything back, I slowly started for the stairs. The creepy part was that their eyes followed me but their bodies stayed put. As soon as I got to my room all the commotion started up again. What is with these girls? Oh well I guess I’ll never know because I heard the best news ever! I’m finally being adopted, yeah it’s kind of weird for someone to want a daughter that came from the troubled girls foster home. Oh well that doesn’t matter to me anymore! “Do you have to go?” Someone asked me. I turned around to be standing with Kiera. “Awww.” I really felt bad for her, I was her only friend, because she was a huge bully and she wouldn’t stop until they kicked her out, then she had a huge attitude with her parents, and her parents took her here, and now she’s the one that’s getting bullied and now she’s gone soft. “Yes I have to leave. This is my dream to be with a family that will love me no matter what.” I felt soooo bad for Kiera. “But will you love me no matter what?” She asks so many questions but I still love her. “Of course I will still love you no matter what, Kiera.” I knelt down on my knees as I said this. Then I hugged her and she started crying, like I said she is now a softy. “Oh don’t cry! It’s all going to be okay, I will come and visit you, and maybe when I grow up and you don’t have a family still, I will adopt you okay?” Man I hate lying to her. When I grow up I’m probably not going to adopt her, she seems like a little… much. “Hey! Wanna help me with packing my bags?” As soon as I finished saying that she shot straight to our (we share a room with each other) closet while I got the bags. “Alright! Let’s get packing!!!!!!” Chapter 4- After Keira and I were done packing the dinner bell rang. But I got called up to Ms. Lana's office. *Knock Knock* "Come in!" Said a cheerful voice from the other side of the door. But I know it's fake, just like the rest of her. When I opened the door I saw what she was wearing, and omg! For not being a big fashoin person, I knew this outfit was absolute HIDEOUS!!!! I almost gaged as I walked in. She was wearing a pink wool pantsuit with a huge brown beehive! "Oh god! Shoot! Did I just say that aloud! Frick!" "Uh..," Ms. Lana looked a bit flustered. "Oh.. Uh.... oh.... ummmmmm...... Tiffiany!! Hi! Here are your ummmm...... Foster parents!!" She pointed to a  perfect looking couple. Maybe a little too perfect. But the women had a short bob with different shades of blonde and brown in it, and not to mention, a gigantic dimond on her wedding ring. The man had dark brown hair with wedding ring with pure gold on it. I stared at them in awe.   Publication Date: January 28th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-naee33701b39255

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TheRoost The Strongest One The Next Disney Princess The blasting monotone of I.V. drippings and droppings are the first things Kayla hears in the morning and one of the last things she hears at night. Her eyes, an unchanged and unchangeable Fruit Loop green, flutter open, taking in the starch white hospital walls that glared at her from her bed. She sighs a happy sigh. Today was not a day for sadness. Her mother, Marie, must have thought the same thing, because she entered the room wearing her rare, pretty smile. Her long sunny hair was swept under a baseball cap, and Ed hazel eyes were fighting back stubborn tears. Her voice, nearly suffocated with emotion, choked out a "Hello, sweetie." "Hello, Momma," Kayla replied eagerly. Her multiple needles and tubes prevented a close, or long, embrace, but any was better than nothing. "Is Papa coming to see me today?" Marie seemed to swallow something back as she stared at her eager daughter: it seemed to be both pride and a deep, unthinkable pain. "Papa can't come until tonight, baby. I'm so sorry, but you know how Jodi is." Kayla nodded; she did, in fact, know how Jodi was. She was a mean, heartless woman who ran a very big bank for a very rich an, and was well paid for it. So was her father, but most of the money was spent on Kayla now. Marie ran a hand on her daughter's forehead as the familiar tap-tap-tapping of nurses' shoes echoed in the still and empty hall. "Darling, listen to me, okay?" Kayla looked up, her attention on her mother, while her silent and impassive tears raced down her cheeks. Her mother continued, never once leaving her daughter's carefully pain-concealed gaze. "You are the bravest, kindest, most pacifying girl I know. You do know that, don't you?" Kayla sighed, happy, vague memories floating through her mind as she replied with a simple, silent nod. The nurse burst in then, shattering the moment, the day-dream. With the check of a chart and the click of a pen, she patted Kayla's head, which once held locks of woven gold, but now lay bare and cold. "Looks like you're in Chemo-Therapy today, honey," the nurse said sweetly, adjusting the bed to easily push her down the sweeping, twisting corridors. "Are you ready?" With a squeeze from her mother's hand and a nod from the girl herself, the three walked down the halls where they had walked a thousand times before, and would walk a thousand times again. And when they reached the room that killed off the cancerous cells, and the healthy ones, Marie leaned in and whispered "Happy 6th birthday, my Angel." Publication Date: August 11th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-theroost

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Lexie Gray яσѕєѕ αяє яє∂ (gєяιтα) BOYXBOY prσlσguє My dear Italy,   I have gone, but I will return.   I will return, Italy.   I will come home to you someday. We will be together again someday. We will be married someday. We will see each other someday. Someday, I will be Mr. Vargas.   Someday.   But for now, you must wait. I promise, Italy.   I never got the chance to say this to you, so I will say it to you here. I wish I was with you right now to say these words.   But Italy...   I love you.   Holy Roman Empire   ρι¢тυяє ρєяfє¢т   " Oi, fratello ! Are you up?"   Lovino Vargas switched the light on his twin brother, Feliciano Vargas's bedroom. The Italian was sound asleep, cuddling with a stuffed cat he owned since he was a child. He snored peacefully, rolling over to his side.   An impatient Lovino stormed over to his fratello's bed, yanking the blanket up. "Kya! Germany, I'm awake!" Feliciano cried, sitting up instantly and saluting. Lovino huffed in annoyance, rolling his eyes and his hands were placed on his hips. "I'm not the Potato Bastard, vi idiota !" The grumpy twin brother of Feliciano snapped, now arms across his chest. "Get up, already; it's eight in the goddamn morning!"   Feliciano stopped saluting and nodded sadly. Lovino's hostile and cold glare softened, as he noticed his twin's sudden change of mood. "Hey... what's wrong? Not that I care," Lovino mumbled (he actually did care, but he was quite too stubborn to admit), placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.   Feliciano shook his head slowly, "Nothing is wrong, mi fratello ." He replied with a small, sad smile. Lovino raised a brow and scrunched his nose a little. "Something is obviously wrong. You're not asking for pasta again for breakfast this morning."   "I don't... really want pasta today," Feliciano looked down. Lovino gasped, "What?!"   " Si. I'm just not in the mood today."   "Do I need to take you to the doctor? Are you sick?!" Lovino placed a hand on his brother's forehead, before moving them to the left side of his face. "You don't seem to have a fever, but you do look pale."   Feliciano turned away, " Sono buona, fratello. "   "Fine. If you say so. I guess I'll have all the pasta in the fridge!" Lovino smirked, while Feliciano only nodded. "Go for it! It's all yours, Lovi!"   "Don't call me L– what ?"   "You can have the pasta. I'm not hungry." The Italian replied, and he went to lay back down.   'Fratello's acting weird,' the older twin thought. 'I never thought that I would say this... but I'll have to go see Francis with him later on after Feli leaves the meeting.'   Publication Date: January 24th 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-vl35338d93e7885

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Briahna Williams Why Me? Marcy Humpton This book is dedicated to all the people with hurt and sorrow built inside. I love you Lauren H. "Come on honey, you can handle it,you have been here many times before, why not now?"Said Mrs.Raford. Hi, i'm Marcy Humpton and i'm diagnosed with Sarcoma. That lady, Mrs. Raford, she is my advisor or also known as my "Cancer Coach". The reason i'm being called is because today, April 14, 2007 is the day of my Bone Marrow transplant. I am not ready, not even close. Please enjoy my life story. "Ring!!!!" Went the bell. Last period of the day and lunch. As I walk to my table two cold clamy hands rapped around my eyes,"I know who this is, I reconize those hands anywhere." I claimed. Brent. Brent is my wonderful boyfriend! He knows I have cancer. " Come sit, how has your day been?" I asked. " "Awesome, yours?" "Good, but i've been feeling weak." "WEAK, we need to get you to a doctor now!" "Calm down, calm down, Mrs.Raford said it would be a side affect for the new medication i'm on. (If you have not noticed Brent gets really worried when I tell him what i'm feeling). "Well come over tonight and maybe we can go to a movie or something?" I said. "O.K i'll call you. Brent said." Last period, finally! My favorite too: English. "Okay class pull out yesterdays notes on the famous writer Meshuicke Halteryon." Said Mrs.Haun. "Bye, yeah see you tomorrow, ok bye" I yelled as I stepped outside. "Brent are you outside?"I yelled. "Yeah, over here!" he called. "Don't forget call me." Text: May be used as inspiration. All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 9th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-writerluvr7

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bahd-diva1102-janesport-high-character-book/

Bahd Diva1102 Janesport High character book Drama To every one who likes this book. friend request me i'll except and if any suggestions for putting in the actually book I might use and give a thanx to you. Jack Winchester This is Jack the all time Quarterback. Jack Winchester lives with his father who is a bad influence on Jack, Jack's mother had cancer and his father flew all around the world to find the best doctor. Once she died Jack's father had been focusing on his work,Jack and his mother were very close so once she died he was so devastated. Jack's father had told him to focus on his main career and no one else. His father also told him to always do a girl and have a couple others just in case that 1 girl finds out. Jack is known as a cute player at the school but the girls don't care,some of them think he can change but they are wrong. Chloe Rochelle   This is Chloe she is consider a nerd because she is so smart and is the teacher pet in every class she has even the P.E. teacher loves her. Chloe also likes Jack and she knows she has know chance with him anyways. Jack and Chloe were bestfiends in 4th and 5th but he changed after his mother died. Jack's mother and Chloe's mother were best friends since pre-K. Even though Chloe has a crush on Jack she is stubborn and hard to get.She acts cool around her crushes but when it's your ex bestfriend she does not know what to say or do. Jack hangs around the "cool" group and Chloe is not even close from being that group. Chloe dosn't like to be put in a catorgorie.  The "Rich" Olsons  These girls are the rich Olsons they are spoiled and their daddy owns the school. The blonde in the middle is the meaniest and likes to call what ever she sees hers so if you dare go for it she will humiliate  you and tare you down and that means if Jack is in a serious relationship with you she will manipulate you and tell Jack all of your secrets and I do mean all. Her to sisters on the side just follows her lead. The boyfriend????? All I'm going to tell you is that his name is Charlie Lynch  Jasmine Rochelle (The twin)  This is Chloes twin sister Jas (Jasmine). Most people say they look alike others say no. Jas is consider a thot because she is always sleeping with a different guy twice a week. One time she almost got pregnant and you would think that God is giving her a sign to keep it steady with one guy and listen to the sign, but nope once she found out that she wasn't pregnant she started sleeping with guys 3 days later. She says she'll change but every one knows she is not going to change. Phill "Silly boii" rochard  This is Phill Rochard he is called Silly boii most of the time because... well because hes funny.He is the funniest boy in the school. Every one who new him knew he will be a comedian one day. Phill met Chloe in Pre-K, he was suppose to introduce himself to everyone on the first day of school instead he went around telling who is ugly and who looks gay. When he stopped at Chloe he gave her a plastic ring and told her that they will soon get married together. Everyone laughed at him even though he called most of them gay or ugly. Mia Rochelle  Mia is Chloe's and Jas's Older sister who is 19 and got pregnant at 16. Mia was just like Jas once but once she got pregnant she became much mature. She is trying to help Jas not make a mistake just like her but Jas dosen't seems to not care. Monique Rose Davis (Niq Niq)  This is Monique Rose Davis but you can call her Niq Niq (Neek Neek). This is Mia and Jakob's daughter. Monique is 7 years old and Jas love her more than anything! Jakob Davis                                    This is Jakob Davis who is Niq Niq's father and Mia's boyfriend. Jakob was once just like Jack but he changed once Mia gave birth to Niq Niq   The New Boy This is the new boy, Danille, he has been transfered to 5 different schools because of his behavior. he had gotten held back and was accused of murdering his own brother. 5 Y E A R S L A T E R ! 5 YEARS LATER!!!!!!!! Elizabeth and Diana Winchester   This is Chloe and Jack has twin baby girls! In this story Mia will get pregnant! The teacher Publication Date: November 22nd 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-qx433834bb00545

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lenka-filicka-madness/

LEnka Filicka Madness This is my first book written in english . I dedicate it to all people. Chapter 1 Sadness... Madness... Crying..... One bad decision and all we ever wanted is gone. "Carly" i heard someone calling. I was covered all in blood but i didn't feel the pain. ....after that i fell down. When i woke up i was in a hospital. Everyone was in white suits. Going up and down the hall. I couldn't move with my legs I was like paralyzed. This numbness was driving me crazy.... i wanted to ask what happened but my mouth didn't let me....Oh what is going on ? i asked myself i was anxious i knew this isn't good at all. "Carly. You are in a hospital. You had a car accident." "She won't answer you. No use." said man in white suit. Mum.... Where is Peter? Why isn't he with you? "She must rest. She is very tired and it will last time till she is able to go home" I was left alone in a room. not something i was used to.... I started to wander ....back to times when i was still dating Peter. "You look beautiful. Don't put that make up on pls" "I must be pretty or you will find a replacement" "I will find the replacement if you put on that make up " "Honey. Don't make decisions for me. I m old enough to know what's best for me." " I was thinking about us a lot." said he. Oh no he wants to end this. I should have known....to pay attention ... " Carly? Are you ok? you look pale." " I'm fine. Go on. PLs" " i wanted to ask if... you know we know each other for quitte a long time... and i was thinking maybe you should move in... it's best for both of us..." I was relieved....hmm being histerical ......again.... "Oh i dont know what to say... i must think it over at first. " "I know. If you think i push you into something you don't want. It's not like that...." " i don't want you to feel forced to do ...anything " he added. "I'm fine. Peter. I just need a little time. That's all." "I love you so much. When you aren't with me... I miss you so much.. that would be great living with you." Dusk fell down and i was getting sad and sadder. I was lonely without mum, Peter or anyone near me..... The day has come and i was still in same room. Nurses taking care of me. Feeding me. Cleaning me. Same routine all over again. I was getting tired of it. I wanted to cry but i dare not. " Carly why are you crying?" I was crouched upon sofa and hugged my knees. When he came in, i lifted my head. He came near me and dried my tears. "My dog passed out. He was sick ...." "I'm sorry. I'll buy you a new one." "i don't want a new one. I want her....." "Look. I'm here for you. I know what it's like. Time will heal the ache. Believe me. " I couldn't sleep. Again. Oh God. Help me. Pls..... This room was a really scary place for me. I didn't feel very comfortable in it..... I missed my teddy ..Peter... mum everyone... Fear ..... Fear of unknown overcame me....Creature with red eyes watching me .... right in the corner... getting closer.... and closer....suffocating me ... paralyzing me.. I wish someone could help or save me. Anything. I would make anything to have Peter near me. The sun beams illuminating the room. Sky was blue and temperature very high. I didn't know if i was ever going to speak or move my body again. The new day has come and i was helpless. Peter won't stay with me. He needs healthy, young woman. Woman that will bring up his children. Woman that will kiss him or talk to him. I won't ever be that woman to him. My life has changed. I'm different. I know that i'm left in this world alone. In the world of loneliness, damnation.....Nothing to be said or done.... It's the end for me.... "Carly .. Darling. Don't put your feets on the table pls." Always commanding me. That's her. I thought to myself. She never express her feelings as if she was strained by some unvisible force. She's cold like ice, distant like sky above me. Only thing she ever cared about was her dog or work. She works as real estate agent. I always tell her to spend more time with me and Tom. " Mum i was thinking ... maybe we should go on trip to Rome" i started " you know...we haven't been there for like ages..." " I don't have a time for this...not right now... I got some work to do....i'm sorry " "Fine" said I. I was angry but didnt want her to notice that. I must not give up... never give up... I heard voice saying.... I felt someone touching my hand. I opened my eyes. Peter was sitting on the bed and talking to me. How i wish i could speak out and tell him i'm sorry for everything that happened between us. " I'm here for you. I will always be here with you. I know you can hear me. I love you so much. This is just a temporary situation. Doctor said that there is a chance you will be normal again. You must rest a lot." "You remember when we met for the first time?" said he with anxious look on his face. He was not like this. It wasn't him. He used to be so carefree, optimistic. Man that was near me has changed so much. It was 5th May 2005 when i met Peter for the first time. I was sitting on the bench, reading newspaper. Sun was shining and i had days off. People passing by. Smiling.... Frowning... Hurrying ... not to miss their chance for something new....Everyday is like that..... When we have everything we crave for more... and in the end we find ... we don't want that all....because it all doesn't mean anything....when we don't have anyone to share our happiness with. I was the richest woman in the world. I was daughter of billionaire....I was used to live in comfort .... in a golden cage.... I couldn't go out without permission of my father and without security. My life was like that i was watched all the time. "Hi. I'm looking for GoldenStreet. Do you know where is it pls?" " Hi. I can show you. My name is Becky ." "My name is Peter. Nice name... Becky" " Thanks." " Why are you looking for this street?" " Friend of mine lives there. He got married and i decided to pay a visit to them." "That's great. Friend like you are precious." i said." It's here you go straight and you will find it." I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was so attracting and hot man. " I was thinking Peter... are you free this night?" "Hm ... i will watch tv ....cook dinner.. hm you asking me on date?" said he and his eyes lighted up suddenly. "No. I just can't cook very well and i want to eat something delicious finally." "I bet. That's the only reason why. heh" Publication Date: September 28th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-rf3f08c9f079065

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ashley-jordan-explaining-abby/

Ashley Jordan Explaining Abby What is her true story? I dedicate this to my friends, Caroline, Destaney, Sarah, Haylee, Raven, and Marcella. Thanks for proofreading it and helping me with ideas for characters. I love you all so much. You all have inspired me Some of the characters might seem like you. (Hint, Hint) So Thank you! You all enspired me for this serious. So You each will recenize your characters, hopefully. Some come in the next book. Thanks Alexis for helping me with ideas. You are amazing. So thanks for the help, you rock! All stories have a beginning Hi, I am Abby. My full name is Abby Darling. Yes, Elementary sucked with my last name. So I am five foot five. I have red hair to my hips. I am pretty much going to tell you my story. Advice to go by, life sucks. Here’s why.   So this is me. I am the quite girl, who doesn't say a word. I keep my mouth shut and try not to talk to people. So if I am trying to let someone in before I enter I use the gesture. I got picked on all the time in elementary, so I never talk so they can't bully me or mess with me. They don't see me because I am practically invisible. I went to my first party three months ago. So I guess I will tell you the story up to today. The girls said to go upstairs, to see the view. The house had this gorgeous balcony. In the back yard they had this pool, hemic and lovely decorations. Well, next thing I know I am getting tossed off the balcony and into the pool.    Now, for some of you it seems like a normal party. Like it would be funny. Yes, well try being me. So you’re thrown into a pool, and you can't swim. At this point life sucked. I went to the bottom. I tried to swim I couldn't reach the top. In fact I was still at the bottom. I could feel myself crying in the pool. I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't swim, and of course that’s what’s going to kill me. Of all things the fact that I can't swim, is what kills me.   I felt someone’s hand going around my waist. We were going toward the surface. I was going to live I might just make it to see age fourteen. I get to see my sister again, and my parents. Life felt good till we hit surface. I realized during all my praises I was trying to breathe water. I felt stupid. So when we hit surface, I was bent over coughing up what felt was half the pool water. I heard every one whispering, and gasping. I then heard someone get out of the pool after me. I looked.    Then I saw the person who had just saved my life. I thought to myself and just couldn't believe who saved my life. The most popular guy in the ninth grade. The most popular guy in ninth grade saved me, I couldn't believe it. I was well me. He was well you know him. I then realized the people were whispering about how he was a hero and saved some kid. I may not be popular, but I can still eavesdrop.   Then off course the guy walks over and says "Hi, are you ok?" It took me a few seconds to realize he was surprisingly talking to me. "Yes, thank you for saving me life." I said half coughing up water. He looked at someone in the distance. I realized he was trying to look for someone. Who would want to talk with me? I am just a pesky kid as some people say. I am........    My thoughts were interrupted. "My name's Dan. what's yours?" I stood up straight hoping I was done coughing up water. "I'm Abby." Dan looked at my leg. "Oh, god, did that happen when you got thrown in the pool?" I looked at my leg. I had a cut on my leg. It was from mid-thigh to my ankle. "I guess I didn't have it before the party.   My older sister Alyssa then emerged from the crowd. She is by the way the most beautiful girl I know. She is about five foot eight. She has green eyes and blond hair, with natural red high lights. "Abb’s are you ok?" I looked at her she looked so scared. I love how much she cares for me. "Yes, I'm fine. Dan saved my life." I gestured to him. She turned to him as he’s saying, "It was not a problem." Alyssa Smiled at him and said "Thank you" She sounded so relieved. I mean if it was her thrown in a pool. I would be crying tears of joy! She just goes thanks. I feel so loved!   Alyssa had me say goodbye to Dan and walked me back in the house of the party. She had me sit on the couch and rapped my injury. “Where are the girls that tossed you in the pool?" I looked around and pointed to them. She gestured for me to stay there. Alyssa walked over to them. I knew what was coming up and it felt pretty good having my sister.   She is so protective. I love her for this. I don't know what I would do without her. She is my best friend. She's Always there for me. She's just amazing. How could I ever live without such an awesome sister? Alyssa's strong, protective, and beautiful.    She tapped them on the shoulder and they just turned around took one look at her, and then turned back around. She grabbed them by their arms and forced them to face her. Their jaws were practically dropped to the floor. “How dare you touch us?” This chick that looked as if she were a queen told Alyssa. “How dare I?! How dare I?! You threw my little sister off a balcony and into a pool! She can’t swim, she could have died! If anything it’s how dare you! Are you Crazy?” The girls looked as if they were going to hit Alyssa. “Well, if you think we’re going to listen to you then you’re wrong.” They smiled as if they actually accomplished something, which they did. Being the stupidest person I have ever seen to try to talk to my sister like that. Piece of advice don’t mess with my sister, she gets well, violent. The girl that hadn’t said a word yet then tried to punch my sister. Big, no huge mistake! My sister wrapped her hand around the girl’s throat and pushed her back against the wall. She slowly started raising the girl toward the ceiling. The girl looked horrified. Alyssa might as well have fires in her eyes. The other chick got a brain and decided to run for dear life. Alyssa still had the other girl against the wall, and feet of the floor. She got nose to nose with this girl and tightened her hand around her throat. “If you ever do something stupid like this again you and your friend will find yourselves in this position you’re in right now! Which is pretty close to death, got it?!” The girl nodded really fast in terror. When Alyssa put her down the girl booked it away from her.   Then Alyssa walked back over to me. “Ready to go home?” She asked with a smile on her face. I chuckled. “Yes, my leg is killing me!” Alyssa got to my side with the cut leg. She walked me out and all the way home.   When we entered the door our parents looked at us, then quickly to my leg. "What happened Abby?" I answered sarcastically. "Nothin much, I only got tossed off a balcony and into a pool, by to other girls." My parent’s mouth's dropped open. "You got thrown off a balcony!" My mom screamed. "Then into a pool." I responded. My mom then glared at me. "Stop acting like this is ok Abby!" My mom sounded extremely annoyed. "I'm fine!" My dad then said something. "Abby those girls did the just walk away or did you say something?" I was about to shake my head no when the phone rang.    "Hello." I heard muffling sounds on the other end. "She did what?" My dad looked at Alyssa. Then more muffles. "Yes I will talk to her. Good-bye now." My dad shook his head and sighed. "Alyssa, you wrapped your hand around the girl’s throats? Then did what exactly?" Alyssa sighed, "I told them to leave Abby alone or they will find themselves in this position again, I only had my hand around one girl’s throat." I finished what we both were thinking. "The other chick got smart and left before Alyssa could." We all burst out laughing. "Alyssa I'll let this slide, but next time you’re going to be grounded. I know you’re trying to protect Abby." Alyssa smiled at Me.; I then smiled back at her. "Now go to bed." My dad said, half laughing. We chimed together "Night."   After the fact So it is saturday, the day after the party. I felt exausted. I ached on the whole right side of my body. I blame the injury on my right leg. I forced myself out of bed. I went down stairs. With every step I felt like I was going to calapse. It hurt so much. It felt like someone was pushing on my leg.    I got down stairs no one else was up yet. I felt so tired  I sat on the couch. I felt like falling over. I was exausted. I goy back up and headed to the kitchen. I got some breakfast and I drank some milk. I tried to go to the couch, but I was aching even more. Then again I am me. If I want to go to the couch I will.So I tried to. I got in the living room, when Alyysa came in she was at my side in an instant catching me before I could fall to the floor. She walked me to the couch, and sat next to me. "you shouldn't be walking around. You got cut pretty bad. Thats why mom and dad are taking you to the hospital today. Just try to stay off your feet. We don't know how much blood you lost." Alyssa stood upp and headed toward the kitchen. Then the phone rang.   Alyssa answered it. She was whispering to the person onthe phone. I couldn't reach the phone in the living room to eavesdrop. When I finally could Alyssa was already off the phone. "So who was it?" Alyssa turned on the T.V. "Who was what?" I let out a sigh of annoyance. "Who was on the phone?" Alyssa still looking at the T.V. said, " Just a friend." I knew she was hidding something just not sure what. She usually tells me everything. The phon calls had started A week before that party. Which she avoided telling me why she was at a ninth grade party.    My parents entered the living room. "Good morning girls, how are you?" My mom said just like every saturday. Then in response just like every saturday, "Good." We said. Alyssa went to her room after that. She looked so upset. I couldn't figure out why. I went to follow her, but my parents stopped me. " Where do you think your going?" My dad asked. "I'm headed to my room." Lie. If I told them they would say stay out of her buisness. "You are to stay off your feet. We have to take you to the doctors first." My mom said. What is this gang up an Abby day. I just want to see if my sister is ok! "Sit now!" my dad said. I had to sit.   Later after the doctors. I was in my room trying to think whats going on with Alyssa. I could walk to her room and ask sense I can be on my feet. She would probly just send me off or tell me a lie. What if she has a boyfriend. I mean it makes sense. She gets phone calls all the time. She whisperes on them to. She is always out of the house. She is rarly home on a school night until like nine o'clock. It makes perfect sense. She gotta have a boyfriend.    I relized I sat there thinking of this for hours. It was already ten, I was probably gonna sleep all tomorrow. Alyssa is never gonna tell me is she? I thought to myself. When is she gonna tell me what's up? I love Alyssa, She has green eyes with blond hair with red high lights. All natural.  Where did she go? The next day after school I went home and walked inside to set my stuff down. When I heard someone crying I went to find who. My older sister was in her room crying. I heard my parents whispering. I knocked on her door, "Alyssa, are you ok?" I heard her walk to the door. When she opened it she looked at me and said "I'm fine." She pushed past me and went down stairs. I followed her and tried to get her to look at me. "Alyssa why were you crying? Alyssa looks at me!" She turned around and looked at me and said "Abby I'm fine. Just stop pushing me to tell you, you don't need to know."    Then I went to my parents. It seemed everyone knows what’s going on, but me. I knocked on the door. "Mom, Dad, Is everything ok?" I asked them. They whispered some more and then responded. “Yes sweetie, go get a snack or whatever you want to do." This just got weird. When would someone tell me what’s going on. I love my family, but sometimes I wish they would tell me what’s going on.    The next day was Wednesday which means half way through the week. So When I got home I waited on the porch. I waited for hours. When it started getting dark out, my parents called me inside. "Mom and Dad, Alyssa's not home yet!!!" They still made me come inside. "Sweetie, she probably is just out late."    The next morning she wasn't back. My parents looked so upset. I felt so upset. My parents were trying to hold back tears. I was trying not to break down and cry my eyes out. Where could she be, we live in New York. So she couldn't go far. What if she ran away? What if it's my fault she ran away? What if I pushed her away? Alyssa ran away because of me.    After a year of searching and no luck. I started coming home crying every day. Everyone always asking where’s Alyssa or did you find her. It is just too hard. My parents decided we are moving to California. Since they would come home crying too. They think it is a good idea and I agree. So we leave tomorrow. I am pretty excited. I got packed and now I am just sitting around doing nothing.    When I got to the airport the next morning we were all hungry. So we stopped to eat. Then I heard someone call my name. "Abby, Ha, Wait up!" I didn't know who it was so I turned to look. I didn't see anybody. Then I saw Dan. The guy that saved my life. Yes, that guy. He looked like he was headed somewhere too. He had a suite case, blue jeans, an old t-shirt, and his normal self. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Then he is six foot three. "Hi Dan." I responded. "Hi, how are you?" "Good, I guess. How about you?" I smiled my fake smile. "I'm doing well. So where you headed?" I looked around. "I'm headed to California, well, moving to California." Dan handed me something. I reached for it. It was a piece of paper. It had his number on it. "Where are you headed?" I asked knowing he has been trying to talk to me since my sister disappeared. So trying to stay off that topic. "I am headed to Texas, then Organ." I nodded. "Cool. So um... “Dan put a hand on my shoulder.”Abby, are you ok? You look like your about to just shedder into pieces." I then burst out crying. He pulled me close to him and gave me a hug. I then just cried.    My flight was called to be boarded. "Bye Dan." Dan grabbed my hand before I left. "Abby, do you mind if I come visit you later." I thought it was kind of creepy. Then I relied he was trying to be nice. "Sure." He then nodded. "Bye Abby." I then waved. I walked on to the plane, and found my seat. I then started listening to music, and then the first song came on. It was one me and Alyssa would sing to all the time. It was Life is the Highway by Rascal Flats. I started tearing up. The last time I sang this with her was in our mom's minivan. We sang it at the top of our lungs, we were so weird. Its only a Dream I then got off the plane and walked with mom and dad. They rented a car to drive to the house they bought. When we arrived, I saw a girl sitting on the porch. She was crying, I walked over to her. She didn't even look at me. She got up and walked to the back yard. I followed her. "Who are you?' I asked the girl. The girl looked up at me. She had a mask on. One that you would wear to a dance. It was blue and purple, sparkly to. I reached for her. She ran and jumped the fence. I followed. The weird thing is when I jumped the fence I saw a high school, and students. Only one stood out the most. That was me, I saw me. I was standing in front of a school, with me also attending it. I didn't know what to do. I then wish I could scream. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned I saw the masked girl, "Why did you bring me here?" I started crying. The girl pointed to some one behind me. "Abby! Abby!" I turned. I dropped to my knees crying. I was staring into my sister’s eyes. "Alyssa?" I asked to make sure. "Abby we don't have much time. I am ok. Now listen closely, someone is going to go after you when your sixteen," I interrupted her. "What do you mean they will come after me?" I asked her. "Abby listen, let me finish. He will try to threaten everything you love, they will try to use me to get to you, saying he has me, but he doesn't, I am safe. Just don't trust anything he tells you. I don't have much time; I hope I see you again one day! I love you!" Alyssa was whisked away in dust and she was gone. I was still yelling to her. "What do you mean by him?! Where are you?! Alyssa!!!"   I jolted up in my plane seat. "Abby, are you ok? You were crying in your sleep sweet heart. What is it?" I took heavy breaths. I know it was a dream, but it felt so real. "I'm ok." I said under my breath. I got up to go tithe bathroom in the back. I looked in the mirror. I looked as if I had seen a ghost. I couldn't believe it, I was about to think I was talking to my sister in a weird sisterly bond, brain, thing. I wish it was my sister. What I don't get is the girl in the mask. She was in a short in the front long in the back green skirt. A black short sleeve with a black with red designed butterfly pattern. A red cloak, and a sash that I couldn't quit read. She had red hair to her hips too. She was scare. I am scared of that chick.  She was just so amazingly scary.   When we got off the plane I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I felt mortified. After the dream I had I was wiped. I kept looking for my sister, and for the red head. I think till I know her name I am just going to call her Blue. She had a blue sash and mask, it makes sense. Any ways. We got to the house and strangely it was the same one in my dream. I walked in the house. The movers had already finished putting our furniture up. I went to find my room. I went upstairs and checked every room. When I found it I was excited. I had a bathroom to myself, and a huge balcony. Just Amazing! "Abby go to bed you start school tomorrow." I looked out my door. "Ok, Dad. Night." I yelled down the hall. "Night sweetie pie." Oh, god please tell me I heard wrong. He did not just call me sweetie pie! First day of school "Abby Darling! Get your butt down here you’re going to miss the bus!" My Dad yelled from down stairs. I got up out of bed. I threw on my blue jeans, a t-shirt that said Bring it, and some sneakers. I ran down stairs. I grabbed quick breakfast, then grabbed my bag and went out the door. I ran to the end of the street. The bus was about to leave. Oh, great I miss this bus I have to run to make it on time. I just barely made it on the bus. I walked to a girl with an empty seat. She had dark hair and brown eyes. She looked at me and turned to her window. I just put on a smile. I went to sit down, but she threw her bag in the seat and said "Saved." I just responded with "Sorry good-bye then." I found an empty seat and sat down. When we got to school that chick and I were both sitting alone. I got my locker number and went to go put some stuff up. So while I am putting this all up I hear someone say something behind me. "Oh no, not you! No we are not being locker neighbors. No way in this life time!" I turned around to see the chick from the bus. "I'm sorry do you have a problem with me?! I know you have problems, I just need to know if some of them have to do with me!" She just turned and walked of. So I headed to history. I have Mrs. Anita. She said to pick out some partners, so I just waited there, I mean hello, I'm the new girl! "Hi, I'm Jack Blake, You must be new?" I looked up. He was around Six foot. He had blond hair and blue eyes. He was not too shabby either. "Hi, I'm Abby Darling, and yes I am new. Thanks for asking." I said. He Smiled. "Will you be my partner?" I smiled back at him. "Yes, I will."   Jack then walked me to my next class; He told me if I needed some friends to come hang out with him at lunch. So I walked in to art class and found myself a seat. Our teachers name was Mr.Valcon. Yes, I am series. That is his name. So I sat down and he asked us to paint something that means something to us. So I grabbed my paints and my brush. I then started to paint Alyssa. When the teacher came around and got to me I was scared. "Who is this?" I looked at him then to my picture, then back to him. "It's my older sister who disappeared a year ago." I said in what might as well be a whisper. He patted me on the back and said "Never give up on family." I then half smiled and finished the painting.   Weekends It was Friday after school I was waiting for Jack and Cara when I saw her. The girl from my dream. She wore the green skirt, black top, red corset, red cape, the blue sash, and her hair in a ponytail. She was still wearing her purple mask. I chased after her, she ran. I followed her to a garden. The trees swayed, the leaves swirled around me, and they formed a girl. One that I knew. "Alyssa?" She smiled "Alyssa is it you?" There was a man’s voice in the distance, she turned toward it. She waved good-bye, and was gone. I felt tears going down my face. They were out of anger, frustration, and sadness. I was horrified. The girl re-appeared she smiled at me, she beckoned me to her. I took one step, unsure of what to do. I then followed her. She led me to a forest. I looked around. I was unsure of what she wanted. I felt so unsafe. She looked at me as if she was inspecting me. She stood in front of me then smiled. "Who are you?" I asked curiously. She smiled "I would tell you if I could. I will tell you what I can. I am from the future. I was sent back to help you get on the right path. So you can find your destiny." She looked at me to see if I understood. "Who are you though?" she smiled. "I can't tell you..........Yet." She smiled widely. She looked to the left of her as if hearing something. "Run! Their coming!" I looked to my right, her left, I saw nothing. "Who?" She turned back to me. She then had an arrow go into her arm. "Run Now!"   I shot up in my bed, shaking my head realizing it was a dream. I went to the bathroom. I washed my face, and then I went to my room. I walked to my balcony. I looked into my backyard. I was only in my pajamas. I was in purple pants, black tank, and my hair in a ponytail.  I looked across the yard hoping that no one could see me. I brushed my hair back with my hand. I felt like my layers were taking over my face. I walked back inside my room and changed into some jeans and a t-shirt. I brushed my hair and put it in a braid. I walked down stairs and ate some lucky charms cereal. I finished up my cereal and went to the couch. I laid down felling tired. I ended up asleep.   I was back in the forest. The girl was on the ground, she was trying to stand up. I rushed over to her and tried to help her up. She was so weak. She was unbalanced. She grabbed the arrow and pulled it out of her arm and put her hand over it. She was trying not to scream. She gestured for me to sit her by the tree. She started to wrap her arm. "Why are you back?" I looked puzzled. "What do you mean? I only see you when I fall asleep." She looked so confused. "What do you mean?" In the real world I am asleep on my couch." She looked at her hands and then looked at me. "Well, I guess you are safer there." She said. I looked around. "Who were the people that did this?" I asked terrified. She looked at me upset. "The same people that took Alyssa." She looked at a tree in the distance. I could tell it had a carving. I walked over to it. I couldn't believe it. It read Alyssa and Abby sisters forever. I was reading it, but I knew we never have been to the forest. "Where am I?" I asked the girl behind me. She looked at the tree frowning and then to me. "The future." My jaw dropped open. I was not in the future, was I?  I couldn't believe it. The girl looked at me. "Don't cry, you can still get on the path that gets you and Alyssa back together." She grunted out of pain of her wound. "Never lose hope, never give up, and you will be ready." I looked at her puzzled. "Ready for what?" I asked her in fear. She smiled at me. "To see who I am." She looked down and removed her mask and handed it to me without looking up. Then I woke up.    My parents were in front of me and watching TV. I got up off the couch and headed up stairs. I almost saw who it was. I owe her, she was saving my life. She was trying to help me. She was trying to get me with my sister; I guess I'll have to wait till later. She is trying to show me who she is. I remember the dream perfectly.   I walked back to the garden behind my school. She was there. The girl in the Purple Mask. She looked at me. "Hello Abby." She smiled brightly. "How did you know my name?" I asked frightened. She looked at me confused. "I deliver you messages from Alyssa; of course I know your name." I looked down at my feet. "Oh, sorry. When do I get to know your name?" I asked inpatient to know her name. "I can't tell you my real name. It is risky. It puts both of us in danger. You can call me N.Y." I looked at her. It sounded kind of cool. Catchy too. "As in New York?" She laughed so hard. "No, it stands for something else." She walked to me. "Abby you need to be careful of who you tell of Alyssa's disappearance. There are the people who shot me with the arrow, that don't want you knowing too much. They would willingly kill you. So just be careful." I then feared for my future and sister. "Ok, I will." She smiled. "Abby in order for me to tell you everything, you have to find something out. Until then there is very little I can." She frowned. "Like I said I am from the future, I came to keep you on the right path, and help you find your destiny. There is more. That has to wait for you to figure this one detail out." I looked away and closed my eyes. What was it? I looked at her again and she looked at me. "I have to go." I gestured to the direction to my house. A firework shot from my hand. "What the?! What was that?!" I looked at N.Y. She smiled. "The small little detail you needed. You are special. You have to train later. You are a huge deal to your people. I was sent back to help you control that. Your power." I looked at her. How could she help me? "Don't look at me like that! I have to teach you so you can protect something in the future, so don't even." she snapped. "Ok, Who are you? You said I would get to know that." She smiled. "I am Baby New Year. I can remove my stupid mask now too." She reached for her mask and pulled it off. I couldn't believe who it was. She continued “Hi, I'm you, Abby Darling."  Text: Ash-angel-890 Images: Ash-angel-890 Editing: Care, Dez, Sarah, Raven, Haylee, and Jan Translation: Ash-angel-890 All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 10th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-wx90f45045a9725

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lucy-patel-dat-boi-becomes-president/

Lucy Patel Dat Boi becomes president dat boi Dat boi ran for prez. he was sad. dat boi  so he died. Of cancer because he smoke weed. Text: youdfr Images: fghsvegh fm Cover: djguefshfgvh Editing: dat Translation: pepe All rights reserved. Publication Date: January 19th 2018 https://www.bookrix.com/-fp8005239f255a5

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-perry-productions-kewl-kats-vs-noobs/

Perry Productions Kewl Kats VS Noobs The Biggest War To my Kewl Kat friends on Handipoints who hate noobs. Chapter 1 The Warning One day, I sat down to watch Regular Show when a Handiland News warning came up. "Scientists predict that noobs will destroy Handipoints and Kewl Kats." Said a news person. I ran outside to the Hood to tell ALL my Kewl Kat friends. "Hey Perry!" Said Bella and everyone. "Hey guys! Listen up! There's gonna be an invasion of noobs!" I said. "Yeah right!" Laughed Issy. "Shut up!" I said. Good thing I caught it on video. "I CAUGHT IT ON VIDEO!!!" I yelled. I took out the camera and showed them. "This is just Regular Show!" Complained Kitkat. "Just shut it and watch a little more!" Everyone watched a little bit more. Then, they saw the news warning. "He's teling the truth!" Skittlez whispered to everyone. I nodded. Then, a noob came. Chapter 2 The First Noob "ATTENTION KEWL KATS! WILL TAKE OVER HANDIPOINTS AND TURN IT INTO NEWBIEPOINTS AND DESTROY THE SPECIES OF KEWL KATS FOREVER!!" Announced the noob. "He seems like a LOSER!" I laughed out loud. All my friends replied with "I know right". "Guys we gotta defeat the noobs!" Said Taco. I walked away and lined up. "ALL KEWL KATS LINE UP HERE!" I blurted out. Every single person in the Hood that was cool lined up. I was in the Kewl Kat group because im the Kewlest dude in Handipoints. Chapter 3 More Noobs Another noob came. By 5 seconds there were about 10 noobs! We had more than 10 Kewl Kats! We have won the first war! Chapter 4 The Foolish Noob A noob walked up to me. "Hi!" She said. "NOOB!!!!!!" I screamed. "What's a noob?" She asked. "You!" I said. "Yay I have a nickname!" She cheered. Then she walked up to the front of the Hood. "HI EVERYONE I'M NOOB!" She announced. All the Kewl Kats laughed. Chapter 4 Noobs On Kewl Kats All the noobs came outta the line. I thought they were going away. But they weren't. They stood on top of the Kewl Kats! Chapter 5 A Cat-tastrophy! More Kewl Kats came. It was a cat-tastrophy to the noobs. They knew we were winning. Pretty soon, Jana came. Jana is one of my friends. Every Kewl Kat on Handipoints was my friend. Pretty soon, ALL the noobs were gone. Chapter 6 Freddy Noober We all cheered. Kitkat then went to the woods to go camping. Issy told her a myth about a dude named Freddy Noober. She then dreamt about him for the past few nights. Issy said he was gonna get her because she dreamed about him. A night later, she just stood there in the Hood. Then, she saw the noob she was describing in her dream. It was Freddy Noober! "AHHH!" She screamed so loud that Handipoints shook. Chapter 7 Issy's Prank Victory The Freddy Noober dude laughed! Kitkat recongnized that laugh. She then ripped off Freddy Noober's face. It was a mask! She then saw Issy. Issy laughed. "Fooled ya!" Issy bragged. Kitkat was upset, but it was Halloween. She just laughed along with Issy. THE END! Text: ALL PHOTOS ARE OWNED BY PERRY PRODUCTIONS! All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 31st 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-perryproductions

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ashleigh-corbett-you-were-the-one/

Ashleigh Corbett You Were The One The Start of it All I'm sitting on my cold bedroom floor crying and thinking of the start of it all.Where did i go wrong?Where did we go wrong?Whats happening to us i mean me?I'm going to tell you from the start now pay very close attention because it's very confusing.It started about 5 years ago I was in third grade.I was sitting in class waiting for recess to start today we had 3 hours of recess since it was the end of the year.My teacher told us that we have to be carefull playing on the playgroud since some stupid kid broke his arm the day before on the monkey bars.Then we all ran outside,everyone gunning for the last swing and little me sat down on the steps waiting for my best friend Carly to come outside.This guy Logan cane up to me and asked if I have ever kissed anyone (in this time everybody was cussing and kissing) I said no and why.He was like "come over here for a sec Gwen".I ran around the tall ass building we both sat on the back porch of the unfinished part of the school he grabbed my waste,pulled me closer and leaned in.By that point I had no clue what life could be like if I hadent did the impossible.We started to kiss I mean kiss kiss full on lips and tounges it was so exciting I wanted more but i'm glad we didn't i was only 8 even thought i've had my period by then.I ran back aroud the building to find Carly looking for me everywhere i told her to chill i just had my first kiss.Carly was pissed she yelled saying "girl you are to young to be kissing boys we are only 8 we still have stuff to learn!".She's got a point but still I know all I need to know I have an older sister who back then was 14 and she told me everything.Logan came over to me and said "you ran away what you didn't like it".I loved it Logan so does that mean we are? "yeah it does" logan said.I went with Logan and Carly to the 3 remaining swings but since Logan decided to go tell his budds we were a 'thing' he pasted up his offer so instead i got stuck swinging next to Owen the big fat boy.He pissed in his pants when he saw Logan come this way wow what a fucking loser.We swang if thats a word for a little while longer and then here comes Logan she pulls me up to his friends to comfirm the kiss i was like yeah we kissed and then i walked away without a care in the world.Two weeks past and me Logan still going out and it was the last say of school and he walked me to my bus."bye sweetheart i love you.""love you to Logan".I got on my bus waved goodbye to him.Two years later i'm 10 in the fifth grade,loving Logan still,he has beautiful brown eyes that go on forever.The school stayed as is so it was still not finished by not finished i mean our school is huge but there is an abandoned part that needs fixing to match the other part of the school.All the kids say its haunted well who gives a fuck i think its pretty damn kool!Logan came up to me and said "lets go down to the abandoned part of the school.".Of course we went I loved it down there.We walked there and skipped the rest of our classes.Logan said "lets go to an old kidergarden class room".I had know clue why at first then we got there.It looked the same since the last time i went in their,I saw some nap time matts laying in the bigger half of the room they looked comfortable.Logan snagged some strawberrys for me I love strawberrys. Publication Date: April 14th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-peacedancelele

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-megan-color/

Megan Color Heart I am Anna and I am going to share a story about a little girl with a big heart. Her name was Morgan. We go back to 1985 where Morgan entered a very disturbing high school. Morgan may have only been 10 but she had a huge brain under her brunette hair. When I say disturbing I mean there where kids doing drugs, kids spiting spitballs at teachers, trash all over the place, but the one that bothered her the most was there were no recycle bins. There was another girl who was Morgan’s sister who agreed with Morgan that they should try to change the school. The other girl was Morgan’s sister. The first thing Morgan had to do was ask the school board if she could but recycle bins in the school. The school board said yes but they said she had to set everything up. So Morgan did all that she had to do to get the recycle bins. Next she had to stop the behavior in the school so she started a discipline rubric so that way if the kids did anything inapporite then they would get in trouble depending how bad they did. That stopped most of the kids of doing bad things. The only thing she had to do left was stop the kids from doing drugs. She had a very good plan by talking to the kids. But she never got to finish that plan for 1 and 1 reason only because a drunk guy came in to school one after none. Morgan and her sister were both about to have the speech when the drunken man came up and shot Morgan in the head and then shot himself in the head. Morgan never finished what she wanted to do but her sister did. Now you ask me how I know all this and how I know that Morgan got shot in the head? I Morgan’s sister. I finished what she started. Publication Date: June 23rd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-sorry411

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bridget-kathleen-strange-imaginations/

Bridget Kathleen Strange imaginations This story is dedicated to anyone with a strange mind and who have wild imaginations and are too afraid to put them out there. He goes nothing. Holding nothing back. Enjoy. Chapter one: Strange attractions   When I first saw him, Zalor Kain, he was dancing on top of a table with two other girls under both his arms. His golden blonde hair was a mess and pulled back, his bangs sticking to his sweaty face and his deep blue eyes looking tired as he moved his head this way and that. The music was uncomfortably loud and annoying. Why had I come to this party in this first place? A lot of these people mad fun of my small, soft bunny ears and my upturned pink nose. It wasn't normal for my race to have such small ears. The bigger the better, as they always say. Having small ears or a small tail, like, not being fluffy enough, meant that you were not bred right and if that happens then you bring shame to your family, which is ridiculous, because how is someone capable of controlling that sort of thing? Each race is different, though. Sometimes being small is a good thing, and sometimes it's important to be really big. For me, my race is complicated: having a small nose is good, well, I got that down, but having small ears is a bad thing. Having big feet is another good trait, but I unfortunately posses small feet. I'm lucky if I find shoes my size in my age group. Some of us are far off worse, though. But calling me a bunny would be considered an insult. We all have specific names. Zearos which means rabbit/rodant, that's what I am. Rambios, the reptile family. Jabos, the cat family. Teltos, the dog family. Mandos, fish family. Xeos, bird family. Geotos, which are races that have been mixed. That's something that is not smiled upon in most places.   There is one race, though, the fool of all of us, no matter if you're a Geotos: The monkey. The monkey is the fool among all of us, the trickster, the joker, which is exactly what Zalor is. Born from a long line of Geotos he has strangely found his way here to this party. I currently lay bent over on the floor after being pushed, my hands getting sticky from the food and drink that has been spilt on the floor. That's when I looked up and saw him dancing with those girls. The table shook hard and finally it broke. The three of them went tumbling backwards with a loud cry from the girls. For a moment I was worried and thought for a second if I should go see if they were ok, but sure enough the two Jabos girls stood up laughing and pointing at Zalor and then just walked away, leaving him there. Zalor was the type to bring the laughs, he was definitely the joker, but also the fool seeing how after awhile the others didn't think much of him. He wasn't exactly the life of the party, but he did bring people together. Too afraid to get back up, I crawled over to the broken table where Zalor lay half awake and drunk on carrot juice. He was a complete mess and talking nonsense. I didn't understand a word that came out of his mouth. I leaned over him, looking at his complex face. He had a fine jaw that was thin and smooth looking, a straight nose not too long or too short and it wasn't too thick or thin either. Zalor had a very pretty complexion and if done right he could easily wear make-up to make himself look like a girl, but his boy-ish body would give himself away at once with a second glance. He was lean and muscular from what I could tell and had really big feet. Hmm...did Monkeys have that big of feet? I stopped looking at his feet and went back to looking at his face. He was a pretty boy and I felt my cheeks get hot. Oh no! Zalor shot up and bonked me in the head with his. I fell back and he completely knocked himself out.   It was then that I heard the sirens and loud horns of the police. Everyone started to scram then and I was still on the floor. I was about to make a run for it too but when I saw Zalor still lying there I knew there would be serious trouble for him if he was caught, especially for who he was. So, I did all I could do and grabbed his arms, pulling him. I managed to pull him out of the house and on to the back yard just as everyone was leaving. For being a Zearos, we have strong legs, so pulling Zalor along was a piece of cake for me, besides falling all the time from everything on the floor and ground. I managed to get us behind a bush and waited until the police left. For being such a big party I figured there would be more police. I considered myself lucky and looked down at Zalor who was just starting to wake up. I put a finger to my lips to hush him and he continued to lay there just looking up at me with sleepy eyes. When the police left I looked back down at Zalor, that was when I introduced myself to him. All he did was smile and say to me, "Nice ears." I was absolutely appalled by his rude behavior and bonked him on the head. He fell back on the ground, passed out again. For some reason I felt bad after hitting him; I guess I just don't know my own strength and I reached out to touch his face but held my hand back. It was getting late and I needed to get home and I felt terribly stupid for going to this party. Of course I felt bad for leaving Zalor there passed out behind a bush in someone's back yard, but what was I suppose to do? I didn't know who to call and there was no one I knew who knew him well enough to help out. I figured this was the best place to keep him. I did manage to save him from the police even if he won't remember. The truth is, I helped him simply because I found him absolutely fascinating. ________________________________________________________________________   It was a Monday morning and I had just arrived to my homeroom class on the third floor of my high school. I was on my second year and no longer holding the title of a little Freshman, but unfortunately my ears would have something different to say. I wore blue ribbons in my hair to help hide my ears; my brown hair didn't help much either seeing how my ears were completely white. Tired from last night I walked to my seat next to the window on the first row. I stopped suddenly when I saw him, Zalor Kain. He was here earlier than me and the few kids in the class paid no attention to him, probably because of who he was. I stared at him for a few seconds as he continued to stare out the window, his head resting in his palm. The opened window blew in some fresh hair, pushing his hair back a little. "Excuse me," I said, finally walking up to him. "That's my seat." Zalor turned to look at me, not surprised at all. "Can I have my seat back, please?" Now he seemed shocked. "You're asking me?" I nodded. "Asking?" he questioned. I was a bit confused and looked over to the group of kids on the opposite side of the room. They were looking at us but only for a second and then went back to their conversation. I looked back at Zalor and gave him a quick smile. "Uh...yes?" I answered him. Zalor sat back in the chair and crossed his arms. "I didn't know we had assigned seats."      "We don't," I started. "I just really like sitting in the front. Most of us find seats at the beginning of the year and just stay there." I explained. Zalor nodded a few times. "Ok. Fair enough." He stood up and that was when I noticed that his white uniform shirt wasn't tucked in and his tie was lose underneath his collar. "You might want to tuck in your shirt." I told him. He ignored me though and took a seat right behind my desk and continued to look out the window. I hung my book bag behind my chair and took out a book to read for the next twenty minutes.   As the classroom began to fill up the teacher, Mr. Greystone, walked in and everyone took a seat. He cleared his throat and gestured a hand to my side of the classroom. "We have a new student here with us today. Everyone meet Mr. Kain. Zalor Kain why don't you stand up?" I placed my book down in front of me and looked behind to see Zalor standing up. He looked extremly uncomfortable.      "My name is Zalor Kain. I'm from Gratos," he stopped talking for a moment seeing how a few kids were whispering with each other. Mr. Greystone didn't even bother to stop them. "I know what you are all thinking and it doesn't bother me. I'm only here because I have to be. I don't plan on making a lot of friends. Besides, I'm not very good at introducing myself so I'll just leave it at that." Zalor sat back down, leaving everyone in the room speechless. He said he was from Gratos, a dangerous place to live at least from what I've heard. I could tell that Zalor wasn't from the city from the moment I saw him and heard him speak. He was very different from the rest of us and not just because of his race but because of his personality. I guess you could say that was what sparked my real interest in him. He wasn't afraid of the others, at least that's how I saw it. He spoke his mind and didn't care what people thought of him. I found that to be a really admirable thing. Mr. Greystone cleared his throat again. "Mr. Kain, you might want to re-think the way you are dressed." he eyed Zalor's un-tucked shirt and then sat down. Zalor didn't say a word, only tucked his uniform in. ________________________________________________________________________   As the day went on I dressed for gym class and because it was such a nice day we were outside. I pulled up shorts and tucked in my shirt and double checked to see if my shoes were tied nice and tight. I walked outside, already stretching my arms behind my back. That was the usual routine in gym class. Our teacher, Mrs. Kent, blew her whistle, singling us to line up so she could tell us what to do next. I knew what was coming and I didn't need to listen to her to know what she was going to say. Like always, on nice days, us girls were always split from the boys. "Track season is coming up, and I figured we can get a head start from all the other local schools and start practicing at least three times a week. Being outside gives us that advantage and will make it easier. So, hop to it and start warming up your legs. Girls one side and boys on the other." We were given our order and we did just as she told us to.   Everything was going smoothly until Zalor made his grand appearance. He was late and still had one shoe untied and he quickly tied it in a double knot. He was informed right away by Mrs. Kent about what we were doing. My heart was beating fast now and my stomach started to turn. "You going to be ok?" my friend, Grace, put a hand on my shoulder. "You look sick all of a sudden." Grace is a Teltos, and so it's natural for her to be concerned and know when something is wrong with a friend or family member. I guess Teltos' can just sense that sort of thing. I finished up my leg stretches and said, "Yeah, I'll be fine. Just hungry." She laughed a little. "Good thing lunch is next." I nodded and glanced over at Zalor. He noticed I was staring at him and he turned his head away from me. Was he looking at me first? I was so confused and wished this feeling in my stomach would go away. I lined myself up later on with a few other girls in my class and did a practice run around the track. I kept up with them for about half the track until I started to get tired. Ah dang! I didn't pace myself, so now I was making up for it and quickly becoming last in place and I did end up finishing last. This was an on-going thing so I was used to it. I was a sprinter, not a long term runner. As I was catching my breath I looked over at the boys who seemed to be doing better than us girls and Zalor was on his own. That's when I noticed how big his feet really were as he stood there in shorts rather than long jeans to cover up most of his big feet. He looked over at me and this time I was staring at him first. His long monkey tail moved from side-to-side and he smirked at me. I felt my tail get stiff and my ears perk up. My stomach rolled again and I bent over to hold it.      "Are you sure you will be ok?" Grace handed me a bottle of water. I gladly took the water and drank half it. I wiped my mouth with my arm and handed the water back to Grace. "That helps...a little."      "I think you should just stick to stretching today." Grace suggested. I laughed. "Nah! I got this. I feel that water working through me already. I'll be fine." I went back to start another lap and this time reminded myself to pace.   As I ran around the track at a regular pace, keeping my breathing level and steady I looked over to the boys side and some of them were just starting to line up on the track, one of which was Zalor. He got on his mark like the rest of them did and one student stood off to the side to let them know when to go. The boys always took it to the next level; always pushing themselves. As the boy gave them the go they took off fast. They would be coming up on me fast seeing how I was only half way around the track on my third and last round. Zalor was keeping up really well with the guys, in fact he was tying first place with one other student. It looked like he wasn't going to go down so easily and surprisingly enough he was passing the boy he was running beside. Zalor came up behind me fast on the track next to me, I felt the wind rush past me. Dang was he fast! The boy he ran beside passed me just seconds later and then all the rest came running by me in a bunch. Zalor's first place victory was short-lived though and the boy he was racing with walked right up to him and punched him right in the face. I stopped running and held my hands to my mouth. "Stop!" I surprised myself when I heard my voice yelling to stop. It grabbed the rest of the attention of the class including the teacher. The boys who just got done running circled Zalor and the other boy. I found myself running again to the group of boys and so did the rest of the class. The teacher was yelling, telling everyone to step aside, but I didn't and tried to break the circle apart. I was shoved back and fell right on my butt. I saw Zalor pick himself up and throw a punch at the kid. Ooh...bad move on his part. The teacher made her way inside the circle and broke the two boys apart. I knew what was going to happen next and Zalor would be taking the full blame for it.      "What are two thinking?" Mrs. Greystone yelled. "Just because we are outside it does not give you a reason to knock each other out. This is still school and this is still a classroom!" Everyone went silent. She turned to the boy who hit Zalor first. "What reason do you have to be in this fight, Norman?" The boy, Norman, touched his lower lip, which was bleeding now and glared at Zalor. "He punched me...for no reason at all." Zalor got a pissed and annoyed look on his face. He was about to say something but Mrs. Greystone stopped him. "Is this true?"      "Well...yeah, I did punch him, but he punched-"      "Enough!" she yelled. "I've heard enough." She pointed a finger at Zalor. "Go get yourself cleaned up and take yourself to the office." she then turned to Norman and said, "As for you...I want ten laps around this track before you can leave." she blew her whistle and everyone went off to practice again.   I watched Zalor leave, his shoulders slumped. I felt so bad for him and I knew what was waiting for him in that office and it wasn't pretty. My stomach pintched in pain again and I bent over. "Oh ouch!" I said. I walked over to Mrs. Greystone and told her what was happening and she allowed me leave to the restroom. This was all going better than I had planned. I wasn't sure if what I was doing was such a good idea, but it was the right thing to do. I ran right pass the girls locker room where the toilet was and headed straight to the office. I could hear Zalor starting the shower in the boys locker room as I ran passed it. I only had a few minutes to explain myself to the principle what really happened and then get back to class.   When I came rushing into the office the principle was busy on the phone but he saw my worried and tired expression he told whoever he was talking to over the phone that he would call them back. "Mr. Robertson!" I began.      "Calm down and take a seat." he brushed his white hair back and itched one of his long bunny ears. I couldn't though and I continued to stand.      "Something happened in gym class just now and the boy that is about to see you is not the one who started it. I saw the whole thing. It's Norman Pierce who is to blame. He got mad because Zalor Kain got first place on the track." I paced the room from side-to-side as I explained everything to him. He sat there quietly and listened to me and nodded, understanding.      "I will see to this mess is cleared up. Please, Anya, return to class now." I bowed and turned to open the door. When I did Zalor was standing there, his hand reached out to open the door. He was just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. I felt my cheeks flaring up and I walked past him quickly, returning to class.   When lunch came around I found myself more hungry than ever. My tray was stock piled high with taco salad and two chocolate cakes, a chocolate and white milk and some apple sauce. Grace took a seat next to me and gave me a weird look when she saw my tray. "Hungry much?" she commented. I shoved half of my first piece of cake into my mouth with one bite and then drank some chocolate milk to wash it down. "Ah! Yep! Sure am." I smiled and finished the rest of my cake. I looked up suddenly, feeling like someone was watching me and sure enough someone was. My mouth was full of cake when Zalor walked passed me with his tray of food. He was looking right at me, no question about that. I had a feeling he knew what I told Mr. Robertson.      "Anya?" Grace said. "You have cake all over the side of your mouth." she laughed and handed me a napkin. I stopped looking at Zalor and wiped my mouth. After taking her first bite of food Grace turned to me again and asked, "What do you think of that new kid? What was his name again? Zavor? Zator?" I shook my head. "No, it's Zalor."Grace shrugged her shoulders.      "Oh. So that's his name? I was kind of close. So, what do you think of him? I mean, he is...you know..."      "A monkey?" I said. Grace nodded slowly. "The last time we had a monkey come to this school it was ten years ago. It was a girl and I heard she was picked on until she was forced to leave because it got so bad." I started digging into my taco salad now. "What happened in gym class today was not Zalor's fault." I started. Grace seemed surprised. "Oh really? Why do you think that?"      "Because I saw the whole thing with my own two eyes, that's why." Grace took another bite of her taco salad. "Hmm. Well, if you ask me, I think he's hiding something." she glaced behind her shoulder where he was sitting. I rolled my eyes and finished my chocolate milk. "We're all hiding something." I stated. Grace didn't have much to say after that and we finished our lunch in silence. ________________________________________________________________________   Later on that same day I sat in the library working on some assignments during my last hour of school which was basically like another homeroom only it was forty minutes instead of twenty. I tapped the end of my pencil on the table where I sat, away from the others so I could concentrate better on my work. I was working on history, learning about the time when they were fighting to end the separation of mixed races and monkeys and us pure breds. They built an entirely new region for them during that time so that they would have a place to live. Gratos is only a few miles from there, where Zalor is from. His background is so much different from mine and the other kids here. I can't even begin to imagine how life was for him growing up in such a place. Perhaps Gratos and the neighboring city's are not as bad as some say it is? But now a days you see more mixed races walking about the city these days because of that fight to end the separation, Zalor is the first monkey I have ever personally laid eyes on. I've only ever seen pictures or videos of them, but never in person. Perhaps that's why I find myself so attractive towards him. He's so different and I really can't see the bad in him...if there is any. I sighed and sat back in my chair. I was at a stopping point and stood up to look for a book on the separation. There were only ever a few books printed about it and they usually lied somewhere in the far back of any book store or library. Some of us still think that the separation never happened and refuse to believe that they are living among the mixed. The real face of society is truly ugly indeed and I hope I never become one of them.   The back of the library is full of dusty books that have been sitting there for who knows how long as I followed the letters of the books and worked my way down to the one I needed. When I found the book I needed I snatched it up right away as if someone was going to take it from me. The dust flew up into my nose and made me sneeze. "Excuse you." I heard someone say.      "Thank you." I told them and turned around, expecting to see someone but I didn't. Just then, from the corner of the book shelf I saw Zalor leaning on it. His hands were shoved into his pockets and he had a little grin on his face. "Uh..." I wasn't sure what to say. He started walking towards me...oh no...he started walking towards me?! "We have three classes together. Homeroom, gym and study hour." I nodded. "Did you find what you needed?" he asked politely and I nodded again. "What's wrong?" I shrugged. "You scared of me?" I shook my head fast. "Then say something." he almost begged.      "Hi..."He laughed a little but kept his voice down just enough not to be too loud.      "Hi back. My name is Zalor Kain, incase you forgot."      "No, I remember who you are."      "Oh? I'm flattered." Zalor walked up to me fast and I put my book up in front of my face, my back hitting the bookshelf. He raised one arm and rested it on the shelf above my head. For the longest time all he did was look at me, his eyes serious and then quite suddenly he raised both his brows in a high arch and smirked; I gulped. He was so close to me that I could smell him and his scent made me weak in the knees. "I knew you looked familiar." he said to me. "You're that bun bun girl that saved me from the police at the party. By the way, thanks for helping out of that sticky situation in gym class. The principle let me go with a warning. Without your help, I'm sure I would have been sent home. Thanks!" Bun bun? My cheeks went red and I wanted to slap him but I couldn't bring myself to do it. For some reason I knew he meant it to be no insult to me, more like a nick-name.      "I'm a Zearos." I told him from behind my book. He chuckled a bit and placed a gentle hand on top of my book. "What was that? I didn't quite hear you." I couldn't back up anymore so I sank to my knees and he followed. "Aww. Don't hide from me." he begged, giving me the pouty face. All I could do was stare at him with a straight, tight face that was quickly going red and getting hot. I felt myself sweating. Why was I attracted to him? He was a monkey and I was a Zearos. Even being in the company of this boy would get me in trouble. My lame features got me into enough trouble as it was, yet I couldn't bring myself to walk away from him. I liked his voice and wanted him to speak again. "You sure you're not afraid of me?" he asked. I nodded. "You afraid to be found with me?" he then asked, a little more serious now. I glanced over at him. He was no longer smirking and the look on his face was more somber. I regrettably nodded, still behind my book. Zalor stood up and sighed, his hands on his hips. "I don't blame you. Almost everyone is uncomfortable to be shown around me, least pure breds like you. I guess I'll see you around then? I just wanted to thank you properly for saving me that night and for today. That was brave of you. No one has done that for me before. See ya." he began to walk away from me and I knew in my gut if I let him walk away from me now I may not have the courage to face him again.   Something in me sparked and I stood up. "Wait!" I whispered as loud as I could for being in a library and even then I surprised myself. He stopped thankfully and turned, he raised one brow out of curiosity. "I just...I just wanted to say...that you're welcome!" he smiled. "And also," I could not believe that I was saying all this. "I want to see you again. I don't care if you're not a pure bred." he seemed shocked at first and then he smiled. "Is it also ok to say that I find you really interesting?" This time he chuckled. "Well, I'm flattered yet again." I became extremely flustered after that. I never meant to blurt that out. "Er...what I meant was, I don't see the harm in seeing you again." Zalor walked up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "After school, meet me on the top roof on the south side. You know how to get up there?" I nodded. "No one ever goes up there, though." He winked at me "Exactly. I'd like to show you something."      "A surprise?" I said hopeful. He grinned back at me. "A big surprise. You will love the taste of it. I have a lot of different flavors to put on it and try it out that way. It's best if you suck on it first though to get the full taste. More enjoyable that way." What was he talking about? Food? I wasn't sure, yet I was curious to find out. "Yeah...sure, ok. After school then." ________________________________________________________________________   After school I met Zalor on the roof on the south side of the school. There was only a light breez and the sun was out so it was nice and warm. There I saw Zalor sitting on a blue blanket with a brown bento box sitting in front of him. When he saw me he waved me over and I cautiously walked over and knelt in front of him with the bento box sitting in-between us. "I came up here once before when I was being shown around the school. I like it here." I smiled a little. Zalor cocked his head to one side and said. "You know, I think that's the first time I've seen you smile." I blushed a little. "Uh...thank you?" He laughed. "No need to be formal or shy. It's just the two of us." That's just it though, I thought. Just the two of us. Besides, I don't know how else to act.      "I'm sorry. It's how I've been brought up." He nodded to this. "Have you always lived in this city?" I nodded. "Ah. Wow...so much for you to see still. Don't ever let anyone drag you down before seeing the world first. In fact, don't let anyone bring you down even if you've seen the world a hundred times over." he opened the bento box and there inside were tasty treats, like bean paste buns, cream filled cakes, sweet and sour tarts and even some gummy fish with strawberry and cherry flavors. My eyes beamed with yummy goodness that awaited me. I was so happy that Zalor wanted to share this with me. "You want to share this with me?" He shrugged. "Why not? I can't eat this many sweets on my own. I guess my mom thinks I can down a whole bento box full of sweets like I used to when I was younger."      "Nothing wrong with that." I told him as he handed me a rice ball. "Are you sure? Its the only one." He nodded and chuckled a bit. "I snuck one during lunch, couldn't help myself." I brought the rice ball up to my face and licked the tip of it before eating it. Mmm. Sweet lemon flavor. I munched down and relaxed myself some more. Zalor took one of the gummy fish and threw it in his mouth. "You're different from the others." he said, grabbing another gummy fish.      "Good or bad thing?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "Good thing, of course!" I was relieved. "I don't mean to sound rude or anything but..." I started. "But you are the first monkey I have ever seen in real life." Zalor was about to take a bite of his bean paste but stopped. "Oh really?" I nodded. "I hope I haven't offended you." Zalor took a bite, some of the powder remaining on his lips. He wiped it off with his sleeve and then said, "Don't feel bad. In fact, I'm honored that I'm the first." "You are?" I asked. He nodded and finished his bean paste. "Yeah. It's totally fine. Also, you're the first girl who is a pure bred to talk to me...normally that is." "I don't think it matters what background you come from. We are all beings living in the same world. We all make mistakes and so, no one is perfect, so why judge others so harshly just because they don't meet societies standards?" I took another bite of my rice ball and then gasped, almost choking. I coughed a few times and then took a breath.      "You ok?" Zalor asked. I nodded, swallowing hard. "How rude of me." I said.      "How are you being rude?"      "I haven't told you my name yet. Its Anya. Anya Green. I'm a second year here." Zalor laughed again. "I knew that." "You did?" I was a bit surprised. Zalor explained himself more. "Today in homeroom when you placed your book bag on the back of your chair, your name is on it and what year you are. I'm sure your home address is on there too somewhere." I blushed again only this time from embarrassment. "Oh...You are observant."      "I'm observant in a lot of other things too." he said and winked at me. I bit my lower lip. "Hahaha! Don't worry." he told me. "I'm just messing with you." I was relieved...just a little, though. I looked down at my remaining rice ball and said, "I have a weird request." "Oh yeah? What's that?" "Can I...touch your tail?" This time Zalor looked surprised and then stood up. He turned to the side and I watched his tail wave back and forth like I had seen Grace's tail do so many times before, only it seemed to move more delicately. I stood up and slowly reached for his tail. "Careful...it can be jumpy." I looked at him, a little confused as he laughed at me. "No worries." I reached for his tail again and it moved each time from my grasp. It was turning into a game of catch now and I found myself enjoying it. I hardly even noticed Zalor laughing at me. Finally, I caught his tail. It was so soft...and thick; not thin and brittle like I imagined it would be. I pet it a little and felt silly for doing so. "You like it?" he asked. I stopped messing with his tail and stood up straight. "It feels different than how I imagined it would be."      "How did you imagine it?" he asked, sitting back down. I followed him and rested my hands on my lap. "Thin and easily breakable." Zalor grinned. "If that were the case I wouldn't have a tail anymore. You know how many times I hurt it? Too many to count."      "Have you ever broke it before?" He nodded. "Only once before when I was really little. My mom says the reason why I don't remember much of it is because of the pain."      "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." He shrugged. "It's all in the past now. I don't even remember what I was doing to have that happen to me."      "I guess it's better that way." I told him. I looked down at the watch on my wrist and saw the time. I had been sitting here longer than I thought. "Oh no!"      "What's wrong?" he asked and I stood up quickly.      "My parents always expect me back at certain time everyday after school unless I tell them otherwise. I have ten minutes to get home."      "Ok. I'll walk with you. I'm sure your parents won't mind you being a little late. How far is the walk?"      "Seven blocks." I told him. He gathered up all his stuff and stood up. "Stop worrying so much. You'll get there in time. C'mon, let's go." _______________________________________________________________________   Zalor walked me all the way home. We stopped two houses away though before we parted. "Thank you very much for walking me home." I bowed. Zalor scratched the back of his head. "You're welcome. By the way, you don't have to bow to me all the time."      "But I..." He shook his head. "Anya, stop worrying. I realize it's how you've been brought up. But just remember that when you are around me, you don't have to be so formal. Just be yourself. Ok?" I nodded and he smiled. "Ill see you tomorrow at school." he waved me good-bye and I watched him go until he turned the corner.      "Good-bye..." I whispered to myself. That was just it though, what Zalor told me. I didn't know how to be myself. I've always watched everything I do, so worried about doing the wrong thing and getting in to trouble and letting others down. Zalor was already teaching me so much and I could already see myself changing. Chaper two: Strange encounters   It wasn't normally like this: running down my neighboring streets on my way to school. I had been up late last night thinking about the day before and Zalor Kain. I was tying the last blue ribbon in my hair and holding a piece of butter toast in my mouth as I ran. I felt like a dork as my heavy book bag jumped up and down on my back. I stopped suddenly at a cross-walk as a car nearly ran me over. The loud honk made me scream and I lost my toast. I moaned because I had only taken two bites out of it and because my ears were ringing now. "Hey, watch it!" the man yelled from inside his car. I gave him an apologetic smile and went on my way, careful to not get almost hit again. If you're wondering, I woke up late, like I said before, I was up late last night for obvious reasons. I slept through my alarm clock and awoke to my mom shaking me and wiping my face with a cold wet rag. Thankfully I made it to my homeroom just in time. In fact, because of all my running, I made it there with a few minutes to spare. I saw Zalor sitting at the desk right behind mine and I noticed a few eyes were looking at me, but I paid no attention to them and I took to my desk and rested my book bag on the back chair and pulled out my book to read. I could feel Zalor looking at me and the rest of the class, but I kept to my book, feeling very uneasy. "You read really slow." I heard Zalor speak behind me. I blinked once, then twice. "Huh...?"      "You haven't turned a single page for three minutes." he commented. I turned the page out of embarrassment. I wasn't reading, I was just staring at the letters with a blank mind, worrying about what everyone was thinking. I did befriend a monkey yesterday and even stood up for him. Could it be that people are now looking down on me for doing so? "I guess I am a slow reader." I said to Zalor.      "Hmm," I heard him reposition himself. "You don't seem like the type to be slow."      "People can surprise you." I said. I knew he was grinning, only slightly, though.   The bell rang and the teacher walked in seconds later. He quickly took attendance and sat at his desk with his face in some papers, paying no attention to us kids. "Pst! Hey...Anya?" I heard Zalor whisper my name. I set my book down, putting my book mark in to hold my place. "Yes?"      "My mom made me more sweets...would you like to join me after school again?" I suddenly remembered my photography club. My mind had been so busy and thinking about other things I almost forgot. "I'm sorry." I told him. "I have photography club after school today. Maybe tomorrow?"      "Oh. Yeah, that works." he seemed a bit disappointed. "Guess I'll just make myself sick by eating it all to myself." I smiled a little at this.   Word was quickly getting around about me being nice to Zalor. Why was it so bad to be nice to a monkey? Yes, they were known as the fools and jokers, but why exactly? In history books they never fully explained WHY. I'm not sure people really remember the reason why anymore only that everyone has ostracized them for so long that it has become like second nature to ignore them when it comes to the pure bred. Maybe there was something wrong with me? When lunch came around Grace still sat with me. She had less food on her tray today. "Not hungry?" I asked. It was burger day and I had already taken a big bite out of mine and shoved a few frys in my mouth as well. Grace shrugged. "I need to stay in shape for the track season. I can't be eating food that will put me under." I sighed, knowing that wasn't the only reason. She was always afraid of gaining weight seeing how most of her family was following that pattern and she was scared to fall into it. I didn't blame her though. As for me, I could eat just about anything and lose it all within an hour and be hungry again. Zalor came up and sat with us at the lunch table. Grace was more than shocked by this and she scooted her tray closer to me. "Excuse me?" she said. Zalor looked at her and said, "What?"      "There are other places to sit." she told him. Zalor thought about this and nodded and then said, "I know, but I chose to sit here. Problem?" I quickly chimed in. "No. Not a problem." I eyed Grace and then went back to eating. All she did was sigh and slowly eat her fruit. Soon Norman took a seat next to Zalor, his tray slammed on the table loudly, spooking Grace a bit.      "Must you do that?" she said, irritated. Norman paid no attention to her though and looked dead straight at Zalor. I watched it all. "Hi, Zalor Kain. What brings you to our school?" he ate a fry.      "Better education." Zalor said, keeping things civil.      "I'm sure there are plenty of other school out there with decent education to obtain."      "This one is the best, though."      "I still don't understand." Zalor finished eating the bite he took out of his burger and then spoke. "I studied very hard to get into this school. I could have gotten into any other school that is beneath this one, but I chose to go here. Doesn't everyone want a fair chance at a good education?" he had a valid point and spoke the truth, clearly. Norman wasn't sure what to say. The feathers on his back were puffing up and he ate more of his food. "Two days, Zalor. You've been here for two days. It's only going to get harder, trust me."      "Oh, I don't doubt that." Norman took up his tray and sat else where. I was relieved that no fight broke out. It seemed, though, that Grace had lost her appetite completely and went to dump her tray. I expected her to come back but she never did and I was sitting there alone with Zalor. "How long is your photography club?"      "An hour and a half." I answered.      "I can wait for you...if you want that is." I chugged down my chocolate milk. "Hmm. Yeah, I don't mind."      "I can save the sweets for the walk home then." He picked up his empty tray and left. I looked down at my half eaten food and sighed. For the first time in a long time I wasn't able to finish my lunch and I pushed it aside, a bit disappointed in well...everything. ________________________________________________________________________   After photography class and heading out to the front of the school to walk home I saw Zalor waiting there for me; his little brown bento box resting in his hands. When he saw me he smiled and waved, greeting me. "Did you seriously wait out here for this long?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nah. I did some walking around the school. Ya know, it's a lot bigger than I imagined." I giggled a little. "How did you imagine this school?" Zalor opened the bento box and let me have first pick. I picked up a cream puff and started munching on it. "I imagined it being about this size. Different color and shape though. More pointed and dark looking, but no. It's more flat than anything, and very bright." "Your imagination of the school sounds a bit scary." I told him, wiping some cream off the side of my lips with my thumb and licked it away. "So, is what you told Norman really true?" He nodded. "Of course. I have no reason to lie. My mom has brought me up better than that." I smiled a little. "You talk about your mom quite a bit. I'd like to meet her and your dad...if that's ok." Zalor seemed surprised to hear this. "Why, Miss Anya, you should at least take me out for dinner first before trying to get yourself in my house." he started laughing and grabbed a rice cake. I blushed again and grabbed some jelly beans, popping them all into my mouth at once. "But uh..." he started. "My dad isn't in the picture. It's always been just my mom and me. She has taught me everything I know." I felt real sheepish after that. "Oh...uhm. I'm very sorry. Please, forgive me?" Zalor waved a hand in front of his face as if to swat a fly away. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure my mom would love to meet you." Suddenly a very loud sound like a car screeching as it turned a corner came up from behind us. We both turned to look and sure enough Norman had half his body out the window and a drink in one hand. I knew what was coming and I was still too slow to react. A strawberry milk shake with banana bits in it splattered all over me. My ears twitched as I heard Norman yell, "Geotos monkey lover! Go to the outer cities where you belong!" he laughed and drove off with his friends, the car screeching the whole way down the street. I stood there, bewildered and pissed and shamed. If my ears were long enough they would probably be drooping right about now, but instead, banana bits slid down them and on to the side walk. I tried to wipe the milk shake off my face but the more I tried the more it got in my eyes and soon I just shut them and bowed my head.      "Those bastards." I heard Zalor say. "Let me help." He took a napkin from his bento box and cleaned the milk shake off my face the best that he could. I was able to see again so that was good enough for me. "Here." he handed me another napkin and and ate a banana slice off my shoulder in the process, as for me, I tried to clean the goop out of my hair and clothes.      "Ugh. It's everywhere." I said in defeat. "I can't go home like this."      "Why?"      "I don't want my parents to start asking questions. I also don't need them calling the school and storming in there. It would only make things worse." Zalor scratched the back of his head and looked to both his sides. "I think you should tell your parents." I shook my head quickly. "No. Trust me." Zalor sighed and then said, "Ok. Come to my house. My mom will wash your clothes and that way you will finally be able to meet her." It was a good idea and I was willing to risk being late. All I knew was that the longer I stood in these sticky clothes the worse my mood got. ________________________________________________________________________   Zalor lived way farther than I expected. In fact we ended up taking a bus to get back to his place. He paid my way of course, but I felt extremely silly sitting on that bus with a strawberry milk shake sticking to me. When we arrived to his home I wasn't exactly surprised to find out where he lived. It wasn't terrible, just small. A tiny apartment complex next to a small park where a few Jabos little kids were playing. They waved to the both of us. My only guess to this friendly jester was because they had not fully come to terms about the truth of all races. They were still young and innocent at heart, not caring who anyone was as long as you were nice. Zalor invited me into his home, the smell of cookies came rushing at me. "You first." he insisted. I walked inside half expecting to see something a little more run down. Now who was being the judgmental one? I felt ashamed of myself and booted those nasty thoughts out of my head. "I'm home, mom!" Zalor called behind me. He took my book bag and set it by the door and led me farther into his home. His mom came round the corner and we nearly collided. "Oh dear!" she said. "Who is this, sweetie?" Zalor looked just like his mom. Her golden blonde hair was done up in a messy bun and her ears were round and cute. Her tail on the other hand was much bigger and more fluffy than Zalor's. I now knew who Zalor took after by his moms petite body type; she was still a little bigger than me, though. She then realized the messy state I was in. "Oh uh. My...you're a mess. What happened?"     "Someone threw a milk shake at her after school as I was walking her home. What they said to her was worse though. This is Anya, mom."She smiled. "It is so nice to finally meet you. I didn't think it be this soon though. Still, I am glad. Come, this way. Let's get you cleaned up. By the way, my name is Rebecca." I followed Rebecca to the bath room where I saw a family sized bath tub. I hadn't seen one is years and very surprised to see one in this tiny apartment. I'll bring you some of my clothes while I wash yours. You just think about getting into that bath and clean yourself up." Rebecca was a very nice lady and the smell of those cookies were making me hungry again.   I sat in the huge tub with a bunch of bubbles surrounding me. I had washed my hair before getting in and just focused on relaxing for a few minutes, letting my body lather in all the nutrient salts I put in. I scooped up some of the bubbles with both hands and blew on them, watching them fly. I giggled, remembering that I had not done this since I was six. When it was time to get out I took up the long blue towel Rebecca left for me and dried myself off and rubbed at my ears a few times, making sure they were nice and dry; same with my tail. I put on the clothes Rebecca had left for me also. They were soft and very comfy, leaving me feel like I was wrapped in a cloud. As I stepped out I heard the two talking. I didn't want to spy on them so I made myself known right away, seeing a plate of cookies on the table with a table cloth over them. There was only one chair in the living room and a coffee table. Zalor and his mom knelt down at the table, waiting for me.      "Are you hungry, dear?" Rebecca asked. "I'm making carrot soup. It's almost done. You are welcome to stay and eat with us and then you can enjoy some cookies with us later on too if you like." I smiled a little, very pleased and happy to be invited and gladly took a spot at the table with Zalor on my left and his mom on my right. "Thank you very much. I would love to join you."      "Wonderful!" Rebecca clasped her hands together and then stood up. "I'm sure the soup is done, so I will get just that. I'll be right back." I looked to Zalor. "Your mom is very nice." Zalor nodded. "Yeah. Thanks. She works too hard though. I'm surprised she's still up. She gets up at five every morning to catch the bus to get to work and she doesn't get off most days until five or six. I guess she finished her work early today."      "Where does she work?" I asked.      "Oh, various places. She cleans a lot. She used to cook, but that became too much of a hassle once we moved here. Now she just sticks to cleaning houses in the rich neighborhoods. It's the only place that pays well."      "Is it good money?" He nodded. "Yeah. We get by. Finding work in the cities outside this one is almost impossible." he sighed. "Life is better though, no matter the new struggles. We can take it." he smiled and just as he did Rebecca returned with our bowls of soup and a stick of celery on the side to dip it in.   This tiny and clean apartment left a homey feeling in my heart. I enjoyed it here not matter how little I had spent here in this quite little neighborhood. Despite the fact that I would be returning home late, Zalor had shown me once again many great things and had taken farther around the city than I have with my family or friends. He has opened my eyes to so many things, left me with questions I can't even begin to ask because I'm afraid I won't be able to stop once I start. I have lived such a simple and quaint life until he came into my life.      "How is the soup, dear? You like it?" Rebecca asked. Some of the soup slipped off my lower lip and back into the bowl when she asked. I licked up the remains of it and smiled. "Yes, its very good."      "Zalor tells me you befriended him right away." I bit my lower lip and reached for my celery. I nodded. "Yes, I did." I glanced over at Zalor. "He was sitting in my seat in the homeroom class. I asked him politely to move." I looked back to Rebecca. "We don't have assigned seats or anything, we just choose where we want to sit and usually stay there."      "Zalor told me. Thank you for asking nicely. Others don't normally do that." I dipped my celery in the soup and munched in it, chewing it carefully before I spoke again. "Its because of your race...isn't it?" I saw Zalor reposition himself from the corner of my eye. He always did that or scratched his head when something or someone made him feel uncomfortable. Rebecca only nodded once and took a spoon full of her soup before talking again. "We came here for a better life. Well...we found it." She smiled, but only for a moment. I remembered then about the schools' festival and I spoke on it right away to lighten the mood. "Oh! I just remembered." They all looked up from their food and looked to me. "The school is having a festival for its fiftieth year of being open!"      "When is it?" asked Zalor.      "Next week. They always hold it during the second semester. Don't ask why, 'cause I have no idea. Just how they do things, I guess. But, would you like to go? I'll be going with my friend Grace, of course. She won't cause you any trouble, I'm sure. People look to have fun at these kinds of events. There won't be anybody there picking a fight." Zalor thought about it for a moment and then looked to his mom. "Well, what do you think?" he said to her."I don't think its a bad idea. In fact, this will give you a chance to meet people on a good occasion. It just might be easier for you to make friends during this. I say go for it. You can always come home if something goes wrong." Zalor looked to me, but only for a second and then said, "I'll go. Next week, right?" he went to finishing his soup. I nodded, glad to be hearing this. "Uh huh. Next week on Friday. It starts at seven and ends at twelve-thirty."   Rebecca reached to turn on the radio sitting on a little book shelf. She messed with it some to get a station to come in and soon enough music started to play. "Oh, I love this song! Zalor, get up and dance with me." she got up even before she finished talking and started pulling on her sons arm. Zalor reluctantly got up with an embarrassed smile on his face and started to dance. I laughed, grabbing a cookie. I watched as Zalor lightly carried his mom around the room in a circular motion, humming to the music. Rebecca's face lite up like a bunch of tiny stars grouped together. She was happy in this moment and I saw for the first time what Zalor truly cared about: his mom and making her happy and always trying to make her life just a little bit easier even if it was just a simple dance. Suddenly Zalor hit the book shelf on their second time around and they stopped. The empty flower vase sitting beside the radio scooted to the edge. "Oh, careful, Zalor." cautioned Rebecca.      "Ooops. Sorry." He made a silly smile and pushed the vase back in place with his tail. The song was coming to an end, though, and Rebecca went to turn it down. They both sat back down and grabbed a cookie and joined me in consuming the sweets. "What year are you, Anya?" Rebecca asked me.      "A second year, Ma 'am."      "Oh? So the same as Zalor. I should have guessed. And how old are you?"      "Seventeen. I was born in May." Rebecca giggled a little. "You're seven months older than Zalor." I looked to Zalor. "Born in December huh? I hear being born during the winter brings good luck Especially during the first snow fall.      "And during the new years." he added, grabbing another cookie.I looked to the clock resting on the wall and gasped. "Shoot! Its almost seven-thirty. I need to get home!" Rebecca checked the clock just to make sure and she started cleaning up the mess seeing how late it was getting.      "Do you want me to take you home?" Zalor offered.I was about to say yes, but at the same time I thought about calling my parents, but what would they say and do when they'd find out where I was and who I was with? I stumbled on my words. "I-I don't want you to have to take the bus all the way back home alone and I would never ask your mother to come along. I'm sure she's tired."      "Do you just want to call your parents then?" he suggested. I looked to see if Rebecca was out of the room and she was, cleaning up the mess in that tiny kitchen. I kept my voice down low. "My parents don't know about you."      "So?"      "If they knew I was with a monkey we could both get into serious trouble. More you than me. And the fact that I am so far from the main city would only raise their anger and questions. I don't want to bring that down on you...or your mother." I wasn't trying to be rude, I really wasn't. I only wanted to protect Zalor's feelings.      "Then just stay."      "What?" I was taken aback by his sudden offer.      "Just tell them you are staying with a friend for the night and not to worry. I don't know, make something up."      "You mean...lie?" I had never lied to my parents before. It felt like a major crime to me. Zalor nodded and shoved his hand in his pocket, pulling out a first generation cell phone. "Use my phone." He handed it to me and it laid small and flat in my hand. "Wow...I can't remember the last time I saw one of these. They actually still make these?" I said in wonder. Zalor sighed with some annoyance in his voice. "Just call." he said. I started dialing but the number was not my parents, it was Grace's. I needed to call her first to make sure I had a reasonable alibi to go by just incase my parents happened to call her. The phone started up and four rings later Grace answered her phone in question.       "Grace? Its me, Anya. I need you to do something for me."      "Like what? Whose phone are you calling from? Are you ok?"      "I'm fine. Just say I am with you incase my parents call."      "Why? What did you do?" I laughed nervously. "Nothing, I swear," It was more of what I was about to do. "Just tell them I am staying with you if they call, ok?"      "Who are you with?" I rolled my eyes. I wasn't sure how long I could keep this conversation going. "Just do this for me, ok? I will give you my fruit for a week if you do this."      "Make it two weeks."      "Deal." ________________________________________________________________________   Zalor moved out of his room for the night and agreed to sleep on the chair in the living room. Rebecca was already informed and completely passed out in her room. I for one laid awake again, staring up at the ceiling which had glow-in-the-dark stars. Zalor's bed was not as comfy as mine but I was getting used to it. It smelt like him, obviously, and I regrettably admit to liking it. My little tail wiggled for a second as I tried to deepen myself into his bed. I closed my eyes and tried hard to fall asleep. I felt so foolish, yet happy to be here and doing what I had done when it came to lying to my parents. Zalor was definitely bringing something out in me I never thought I had. Tomorrow I would be arriving to school with Zalor; that would definitely raise some eye brows and I was beginning to not care anymore. Publication Date: June 26th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-bridgy

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-georgia-the-end-of-the-begining/

Georgia The End of The Begining The End of The Beginning I woke up to the sound of screaming and banging on my bedroom door, and I could smell something that smelt burnt. Right then I knew the night has come for those punk kids down the block to set my house on fire. I ran to the door but the handle was too hot to open. I had to let the person know that was banging on the door that I was awake and going to jump out the window so I could be safe. I layed on the ground yelling to the person on the other side. I didn’t think they heard me but I was choking on the dry air I was breathing in and out, and I knew that meant I needed to get out before I passed out and dyed in my house. I ran to the window and tried to open it but I was too weak. I grabbed my chair and through it at the window and it went flying out. I ran to the window and jumped right out. I landed on the ground with a huge thump. I knew I had to go find my mother and see if she was ok. She’s the only one I lived with and I just couldn’t lose her now. When I went to get up I got dizzy and fell again then everything went black and quite. I woke up in a bright white light and I noticed I was in a hospital. I was scared and I didn’t no why I was here so I started screaming for my mom and I sure didn’t get my mom. Five doctors came running in. Once they got me to settle down they told me what had happened. On the speakerphone someone had screamed code blue in room42. All the nurse ran out of my room to the one next door. I had to no what was going on so I unhooked all the tubes that were connected to me and ran to the other room. When I got in the room ten nurses stood around this one bed. I was dying to know who was in that bed and what was going on. I broke throw all the nurses and there was my dead mother lying there with her beautiful eyes shut. Her arms burnt black from the fire. I ran into my room and then remember when someone was banging on my door trying to wake me up. That was my mother! I couldn’t deal with this guilt of not trying harder to tell her I was going to jump out the window. I was filled with way to many questions! Where am I going to live? I kneeled beside my bed and started praying hoping he could some how bring my mom back to life. But I just knew, sadly, that wouldn’t happen. A young man walked into the room and asked if I was ok to talk about how my life was going to be now that I had no mother. He told me they had found my dad and he said he would take me since we could get in contact with any of my closer family. I was scared when I heard that because I had never met my dad. My mom and him got divorced when I was really young. I think I was about four or five months old. Every time I asked my mom why I didn’t have a father she just said he left for a trip when I wasn’t even one. I would always wonder about him so i would go into the attic and see if my mom had any pictures of him inn the big boxes. But she had none. The young man showed me a picture of my dad and gave me some papers that my dad had written about himself just for me. He sounded like a very nice man but he had put in he had remarried three years after my mom and him got a divorce. I didn’t want to go to with him and then have him tell me to call his girlfriend mom. I don’t want to be rude and say no I won’t but calling her mom would give me bad feelings. The man left the room and I layed down and started crying. I was wishing I could be with my mom and tell her how much I love her. My life is now ruined now that’s she’s gone. Maybe living with my dad wont be as bad as I imagine it. But no one could be sure of that. I thought about everything for about an hour then got tired and decided maybe sleeping could help so I went to sleep. My dream I had woke me up running out of my room and down the halls. A nurse stopped me and held my arms and asked where I was going and why was I running. I told her I needed too go stop my mom. She asked for my last name and I told her. She told me there was no way to stop my mom she was already dead. She gave me a hug and I started crying my eyes out. The nurse picked me up and carried me back to my room and she sat with me for a long time. I asked when was I going to leave the hospital she told me she would go ask. When she came back she said my dad was on his way. The nurse handed me a box and inside was make up. She put some on me and said you deserve to look very very pretty to meet your dad. When the doctor called for me I walked to the front desk and he said my dad was in front waiting for me. The doctor walked me to my dad’s car and he introduced himself to me. The doctor gave me a card that had the hospitals number on it. I was guessing this was the number I would call if my life with my dad wasn’t going so good. My dad open the car door for me and buckled my seat belt. Once we got on the road he asked what school I went to and my favorite stuff to do. I felt like I was with a best friend and not my dad because you dad should know stuff about you but I guess you can’t say that about my dad because we just met. When he was done asking all of his questions I asked him about his girlfriend and if he had any animals at his house. He told me a lot of things about her. And he told me he had no pets but he said after a couple of weeks if I were still lonely he would buy me a puppy! That’s something my mom would of done if she was in this spot of taking a new child. I was so glad to find out my dad wasn’t as bad as I thought he was going to be. It’s just right when I saw his girl friend I had a bad feeling. She was short and had brown hair with a lot of blonde high lights. She wore so much make up. But she was beautiful. I just hope she was really nice, and there was only one-way to find out........... Publication Date: July 3rd 2009 https://www.bookrix.com/-koukla

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-marissa-perkins-tell-me/

marissa perkins tell me dedicated to my dad Publication Date: January 29th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-mysterywriter

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-desmond-young-track-and-field-meeting/

Desmond Young Track and Field Meeting I remember it as if it was just a year ago. I had had a bad day at school, but that very day was the day I was going to throw the shot put for the second time. I was so happy that I was going to be able to throw, even though I had had a bad day at school, I was still going to stay positive. The night before the day of the Track Meet I had called my Big Bro. Daniel and had asked him to come and see me throw. A little bit after school I headed outside with the team and got warmed up. Then we went to the discus ring. I then sat down while everybody else started to throw the discus (the reason I wasn’t throwing the discus was because the coaches said that I could just throw the shot put if that’s what I wanted to do!). After a long time of sitting there by myself and not doing anything Daniel came walking onto the field and sat next to me. A little bit later we went to the shot put arena and the team and I started to practice throwing the shot put. I had thrown at least three or four times before the shot put part of the meet even began. I had felt that I actually stood a chance of doing pretty well in the whole meet. Finally the shot put part of the meet started and I was throwing first. So I picked up a shot put and threw it as hard as I could. The outcome was that I had thrown 32-34 feet all of my three to four throws and I had placed 8th out of sixteen in the shot put part of the meet. Then my Big Bro. left and my mom asked if I could leave, but I really didn’t know and so I had to ask the coaches. Then the coaches said,” Yes, you can leave.” So I left. After we had gotten into the car my mom said that,” We are going out to eat to celebrate my big accomplishment. As soon as we had gotten to the light right before McDonalds the car broke down. My mom didn’t even have to tell me to get out and push because as soon as the car died I had already started to get out of the car to push it. At this point in time I was still wearing the Track and Field shorts. While I was pushing the car I had looked back behind me and seen a older guy looking at my butt and I mean he was just starring wantonly at my butt. So then we were at McDonalds and then my mom tried to start the car and it worked. So then we had driven to the Subway. While we were walking towards the Subway and a bunch of girls seen me in the Track and field shorts. They just couldn’t help but to laugh at me and at that time I wished that I had of put on regular pants. After getting laughed at and being starred at by an older man I had finally made it into the Subway. My family and I had ordered a lot of stuff because I was really hungry after burning off so many calories by sweating and just being physically active. I ate like a hog and then we left subway and headed home. We made it home finally and since I had had a really busy day I went straight to bed. That night I didn’t have to worry about homework because before the Track and Field Meet I done my homework. So right as soon as I went to my room and got onto my bed I fell right asleep. While I was asleep I dreamed about that exact same day I had just had, but in my dream the day went so much better because in my dream I had went up a couple of spots in the shot put part of the Meet and when the car had died I was wearing pants and there was no older dude looking at my butt. Then in my dream when we had finally made it to the Subway I still had on pant and so that means that there was no girls laughing at me, instead the were just standing there and so I went over to them and started to talk to them. We were all having a blast. After a long time of talking I went into Subway and joined my mom and sisters and ate dinner. Then we went home and as soon as we stepped foot in the door I had woken up from my dream. And that ended up being my day and night. It might have been a long day and night, but it was my favorite day and night. It was as good as a school day and night could ever get. Publication Date: July 31st 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-desmond.paper

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-julia-the-life-of-the-icon-039-s/

julia The life of the ICON's The Life of the ICONs ch.1 Hey everyone!! I just wanted to say that there are some people at ICON that are rude in my story. They aren't like this in real life! Please don't hate and enjoy! =) Characters: julia, vinny, nick, madison, louis, thomas, jason, mikey, nicolette, zan,Geo,Beth julian, katie, alexis, gianna, brittney, mikayla, sarah (more will be added later) Vinny's POV: Yes! Finally its March! We get to find out which dancers are getting picked to go to abdc. My heart was beating so fast I could of passed out. I hopped in the car with Alessandra and we picked up mikey, nicolette, jason, and julia. I don't know why but sarah doesn't like us too much so she went with her best friend mikayla. Jason: whad up playyaaa?? Vinny: nothing much bro, I'm so excited for this I hope I get chosen! Nicolette: Vin your an amazing dancer, I'm sure you'll get picked! Julia: yeah seriously I'm so scared I want to be picked so bad! Mikey: let's all "praise da lawd jesus" that we'll be picked. *they all look at eachother and bust out laughing* Alessandra: well guys call me if you need a ride *they head into ICON* Geo: ok everyone that is in company meet in zone 1 (that's the big studio at ICON if your wondering) and we'll be discussing big things, change into blue and white or silver please. *all the girlz go to zone 2 to change* Julia's POV: omg omg omg! This is actually happening! I'm so scared I don't think I'll be good enough. Zan: I don't really want to leave nj for a few months so I hope I don't get picked. Katie: zan! You have to try! We all love you. Alexis: yeah I love you the most. Britany: ok I'm freaking out, I still don't know what to wear! *this is what they are wearing, I usually am going to describe instead of putting polyvore's* Julia: white shorts with ICON on the butt, with a blue ICON shirt that hangs off the shoulder, white and blue knee high's, and white sneaker boots with a blue bandana tied around the leg. Zan: blue shorts with ICON on the butt, a blue sparkly tank top, and silver nike's with blue thigh'high socks. Nicolette: blue and silver icon crop top, silver shorts, with white and blue nike's Gianna: white shorts, with a blue ICON cut off and a white tank underneath, white sneaker boots with blue laces and a red bandana tied around the leg. Brittney: blue sparkly shorts, with a matching shirt, and white sneaker boots with a red bandana, Alexis: silver shorts with a blue shirt that hangs off the shoulder, and the same sneaker boots as brittney but with silver laces. Katie: ripped folded jean shorts, a shredded ICON tee and the same sneaker boots as brittney. *back to the story* Katie: we all look so good now let's all just straighten our hair. *10 minutes later and there done* ??: well look who it is the ugly girlz of ICON Who could that be? Stick around to find out!! The Meeting Gianna: mikayla why do you have to be so mean? Mikayla: your just so ugly, all of you are. Me and sarah are going to make it and the rest of you can go cry in a corner. Sarah: yeah seriously and you guys look disgusting, quit being slutty Zan: sarah and mikayla just quit bothering us, out of everyone you two don't deserve to go to abdc. Mikayla: shut up zan, you suck at dancing anyways. Nicolette: then why did zan, katie, and gianna win ICON of the year? Sarah: because geo and beth feel bad for them. *all the girlz except mikayla and sarah walked to zone 1* Louis: hey there sweet thang! Alexis: louis I told you to stop calling me that Thomas: brittney beth said to go to zone 2 and grab her duffel. Brittney: ok, gianna come with me *they leave to go get beth's bag. Nicolette: guys let's go sit with everyone Julia: ughh... I'm so nervous I'm going to lose it Katie: julia your one of the best dancers just relax. Alexis: ayoo Mara! Come over here. Nick: what up ladyzz?? Nicolette: shut it mara your making us nervous. Jason: julia did you bring your bags?? Julia: yeah and thanks again jason. Madison: why do you need your bags? Julia: my family is moving to detroit and they say its best for me to stay in jerzaaayy!! Mikey: so are you staying at jason's? julia: yeah because our parents are very close and have been close since they were kids. Zan: at least you get to stay! I could never live without julia! Julia: thanks zan! *everyone takes there seats and the parents, geo, and beth come in* Beth: thank you all for everything as you all know were having the kidz try out for America's best dance crew this year. Geo: we will be having two crews compete, this is not going to be a matter of favoritism but we've been watching the kidz for the past couple of months. This is there last shot to show us any new tricks that make them deserve a spot. Beth: crew #1 will consist of... who do you think will make it in? And do you like the story so far?? the crews The Crews Beth: gianna please hand me my bag Geo: beth can I please tell them! I can't stand waiting anymore Beth: whateva geo take it away! Geo: crew #1 is going to be katie fasbach, julian deguzman, gianna marretta, nick rubiano, alexis hargrave, john do'frino, nicolette fusco, britney joseph, and zan bongiovi. Beth: crew #2 will consist of vincent castronovo, nick mara, louis dippipa, mikey fusco, jason smith, madison alamia, thomas miceli, and julia h- Mikayla: what?? Me and sarah didn't get it? Uncle geo my dad said I'm in one of the crews. Geo: sorry mikayla we chose people that will pick up on choreography its nothing personal again I'm so- Mikayla: I'm telling my dad you guys all suck at dancing. *mikayla and sarah storm out* Beth: well congrats to all who made it, go home and get some rest, auditions are tomorrow. Everyone please wear your black ICON sweat pants and your matching t-shirts. Wear any type of sneakers. Geo: we'll meet at ICON then we'll take a bus to new york where the auditions will be held. *they did a photoshoot then packed up and went home* --do you guys like it so far? And I'm not hating on sarah and mikayla, I did this randomly by picking cards for the mean people. Please give me your feedback it makes my writing stronger. Publication Date: December 5th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-minijhabhab23

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-nichole-hall-flowers/

Nichole Hall Flowers Wilted   It’s a bit funny to think I had a chance at keeping the jasmines alive after planting. Their sad, yellows leaves droop and the actual pedals stopped blooming. In my defense I did try everything humanly possible. Planting the jasmines in five foot block of soil surrounded by decaying brick, they did have a chance. I followed the instructions word for word and even got plant food. Sprinkling the actual flowers with water everyday and pouring just the right amount of water into the soil, which by the way was not cheap to buy. Yet, here they are, withering away and my failed attempts to keep them alive are the highlight of my day, my week, hell even my year.   Nothing ever wants to stay alive around me and planting these flowers just proves the point. Dropping the now will be never used again garden gloves and tools near the dying flowers, wiping the sweat of my forehead, I give up and head back into the house where a fresh glass of lemonade awaits, and jokes at my expense.   The screen door that has to be thirty years old and really does nothing to keep the flies out or even intruders announces my reentrance into the old dusty house. Grandma says dust builds immunity to the allergens in the air though the sneezing from the both of us never stops. One time I tried dusting when she went out to the grocery store, she noticed. Oh boy, did she notice. A five foot nothing, cane using hunched over grandma with the greyest permed hair scared the living crap out of me that day. Okay, lesson learned. Choose sneezing over grandma’s fury, dully noted.   “Are they alive, Willow?” I follow the direction of the voice finding grandma sitting at the big brown, polished oak table (the only dust free item in the house), originally hand carved by my grandfather. He was a carpenter, taught my father and was supposed to teach me before but he passed away before he could. My parents didn’t have much time to teach me, with my mother waitressing and my father trying to keep his carpenter skills alive and learning basic business skills, there wasn’t much time to teach me anything. Then four years ago, when i was just thirteen and hitting that puberty age of liking boys and getting ready for high school, a drunk driver took my father’s life and my mother bailed out of town. Since she had no family in the nearing area and grandma was the last living relative, I have been living with her ever since. It hasn’t been all that bad, but sometimes a girl wonders what she did wrong in her previous life to have to be in this situation? “Girl, you in there?”   Grandma shakes off her reading glasses, setting the newest book in one of her romance novel series.   “Yeah-I mean no, they are dying.” Taking a seat across from her at the twenty foot table, grandma hides her smirk, just barely. Her lips twitch a bit, and soon to follow will be an offer of some lemonade to cool down the soul. “I’ll grab you some lemonade.” Reaching over she pats my twisted hands, grabs her cane and inches slowly into the kitchen through the connecting door. No matter how capable I am of getting my own, grandma insists on doting on me any chance she gets. Secretly, I think she is holding on to whatever physical youth she has left. Other times I wonder if it’s because she gives me pitying looks when she thinks I am not looking before offering a glass of lemonade, snack, food, money or whatever I need.   The rubber sole of the cane slithers across the hardwood floor. Grandma pats my head from behind. “Lemonade to soothe the soul child. Lord knows you worked too hard for those flowers to die.” And the cackling starts at my expense. A doting grandmother with jokes, that’s something new.     Strawberry and Vanilla “Okay, so did you see the last episode of Parenthood? OMG!” Mandy bounces along my bed frame, also carved by my grandfather, from one foot to the other. Mandy is that type of person so full of energy, and in small town she needs something to keep her entertained most times. That would not be me, but Monica Potter who once lived here in Arab, Alabama years ago. She is Mandy’s idol for my best friend’s pursuing acting career.   “Whew! It’s hot in here.” Mandy fans her face, still unable to even sit down. “Humidity kills.” Mandy nods her head. We have been banished to my simple bedroom away from the air conditioner due to grandma’s knitting club.    “Come on, let’s go to the ice cream parlor. Everyone will be there.” Before I can even reject that idea, Mandy grabs my hand and soon we are out the front door, Grandma simply waving her hand for a goodbye before we hop on our bicycles heading into town.   The ice cream parlor has not changed in years. They still carry those big tubs of ice cream rather than simple ones like at Baskin Robins in a cooler where there is ample amount of selections. This place keeps it old school and simple with three flavors: vanilla, strawberry, chocolate. Not much to choose, but in the humidity, it’s a nice break from the sweltering heat. Once Mandy and I finish leaning our bikes against a railing, we enter the nice AC shop where our sweat drops from the ride over freeze in spot.  The place is packed as usual and most of the kids from our school are lingering about at the bar stools or in the red booths. We are lucky when a mother and her son leave from two bar stools near us. We don’t hesitate to swoop in. “Hello there girls.” “Hi Mickey.” We respond in unison. Mickey gives Mandy a friendly smile, it slips just a bit when he looks at me. There it is, the sympathy look. At first when they started happening from everyone in this small forsaken town, it was embarrassing. Then the looks grew irritating, now I just try my hardest to brush them aside.  “Vanilla and strawberry mix?” We both nod. Mickey smiles and starts making our concoction. Mandy turns around in her bar stool with her elbows leaning on the counter top so she gets a better view of everyone in here. She can’t stand having her back turned on people. I’ll never understand why, but that’s her choice.  The ice cream begins melting right away even in the cold room, Mandy and I don’t hesitate to dig in. “Ohhh, there’s Kevin and his little minion.” I turn my head just a bit, taking in Kevin and his best friend Charlie. Kevin and Charlie are the most popular guys in our high school. While Charlie is known for what we teenagers say a “man-whore,” Kevin is the total opposite of untouchable.  “What I wouldn’t do to have one night with him.” My best friend whispers dreamily.  “Good luck with that.” “Do you think he’s gay?” Mandy blurts out, eyes wide open as if she just made a revelation. I take another look at Kevin and Charlie who have found seats at the far end of the bar top. While Charlie has that all american good boy look with blonde hair and blue eyes, Kevin...well Kevin is not. He isn’t sexy or hot or whatever girls say to describe him, but Kevin just has the aura of masculinity and dominance that just doesn’t go unnoticed by the female population. I mean he may not be the whole adonis god like gorgeous male, but his dark short cropped hair and hazel eyes aren’t too bad in the looks department. While his nose has a nip in it, like its been broken a few times, he has that square jaw. Both Kevin and Charlie walk straight and tall, pride shining through their eyes. “Nah. Maybe he just doesn’t like the small selection here.” Mandy rolls her eyes. “Gee, thanks.” “Look if anyone could catch him, it would be you. Although I think you and Charlie both with blonde hair and blue eyes would make some pretty cute babies some day.”  Mandy starts gagging as I continue chuckling. Charlie’s reputation really is not a secret. Nothing really ever is here.  We finish our ice creams in silence, Mandy observing everything and everyone while I stare at my empty bowl wondering how to fix the broken flowers.  “Ready to go?” I ask Mandy. The sun is beginning to settle and grandma worries about me riding this late at night. “Yeah, I guess.” As we leave the cool into the melting pot outside, we both climb unto our bicycles. Searching for my phone that’s normally in my back pocket of my shorts, I come out empty handed.  “Crap, I left my- “You looking for this?” Immediately Mandy is in flirty mode. Flipping her braid behind her shoulder, she climbs off her bike sashaying towards the two males, one of whom holds my cell. Grabbing the phone from Kevin’s hand, I look up to see that he actually isn’t paying attention to my friends antics but staring back at me waiting for a response. “Yes, thank you.” Both Kevin and Charlie smile, which is enough for Mandy to start fanning her face in more of hot flashes from hot male approach than the humidity. Charlie turns around, walking backwards staring at us while he and Kevin walk the opposite way of our destination.  “See you at school, Mandy.” For once, my best friend is frozen to one spot.  Dead Flowers, A new Beginning It’s official, my flowers are dead. No more. Just pitiful branches with no leaves or blossoming white petals filling up the surrounding area with their wonderful calming smell. It’s been a week since I figured out they were dying. Deep down, I hoped they would live to fight another day, but they gave up. I want to plead and beg for my flowers to please, please live. Don’t let me down now, please. “Honey, you can stare at them all day but that ain’t gonna do nothing but make you look like some crazy person. Now go on and give them up.” So says my grandma, as she tends to her living and thriving vegetable garden not three feet away. “You don’t give up on your vegetables.” In her long flowery dress, bending on her knees, with a straw hat to shade her face, Grandma keeps on pulling out weeds near her vegetables. She glances at me, with the pity look before returning to her side of the garden. “Honey, you can’t make something stay if they don’t want to.” Words of the wise woman. She isn’t just talking about flowers anymore. For so long, I was convinced my mother was coming back. She never showed signs of depression or an illness, my father and her got along well. Sure, they had their fights, but so does every couple, so divorce was out of the question. There really wasn’t any warning either. One morning I woke up and she was gone. Bags packed, bedroom nearly empty with a few remaining clothes in the closet that belonged to my father, and no note. Nothing. I guess the worse part about her leaving was that right there. She never gave a reason. So I held unto to hope, to a fighting chance that she would come back and want me, but she didn’t. Once a month a check is sent with the old address printed on it, with no postal stamp on the envelope leading to any clues of where she might be. Just a check addressed to me, almost like child support. I give grandma the check every month, too hurt to touch that shame money.  “Go get some lemonade to soothe your soul, honey.” Somehow, lemonade can’t make up for the fact that my mother never wanted me or that she wasn’t there to help all of us deal with my father’s death. My grandma was already deep into her growing age, then my father died and she took it hard. A few days later, I’m at her doorstep with bags full of clothes. I didn’t cry when it happened. In fact it took almost two weeks for the pain to really hit. And it hit, hard and long.  After the glass of lemonade and a cold shower I feel like Mandy, anxious and pacing all over the bedroom. No use in denying that grandma opened a can of bad memories that will forever haunt me.  In some sort of attempt to clear my head I call Mandy, hoping for a distraction. Another description of Monica Potter’s life sounds better right now than anything else. “Helloooo?” “Hey.” Pause. I hear some shuffling and doors closing in the background. “What are you doing?” “Getting ready for Clarissa’s pool party.” “Oh.” Mandy keeps in loop with all the neighboring parties and town gossip as I try and stay out of the limelight of things. So it isn’t unusual for her to go to these things without me. Well, so much for a distraction. “Oh? Don’t tell me you aren’t ready yet. Our ride will be here in like five minutes to get me and then we are coming to get you!” Mandy practically screams. “Our ride? Get me?” I sound like a blubbering idiot. “You forgot.” She sighs. “I told you, like last week when you were crying over your dead flowers.” “I wasn’t crying.” “Whatever. Get ready, like now.” “Okay, okay. But, who’s picking us up.” I can feel the evil smile from Mandy before she even speaks. “That’s for me to know.” Click. Well then.  My choices are limited in the bathing suit department. Really there are only two choices and neither of them are really appealing. A one piece black suit that covers everything, or a red bikini that Mandy called sexy and bought for me. The little triangles cover most of my cleavage, and the bottoms while are low riding on the hips do cover my butt cheeks. The problem lay in just how much it reveals, leaving very little to the imagination. Knowing Mandy, she will march me back up here and force change me into the bikini. So really, there is no choice.  Once the suit is on and the feeling of being naked doesn’t evaporate as I had hoped, I cover the suit with cut off shorts and a loose tank. Throwing my frizzy brown hair into a pony tail, I declare myself ready. Just in time to hear a honking.  Running out the door with a backpack full of necessary items, I call to my grandmother that I will be back later. She yells back to call and check in later, but nothing else. When my eyes lift from the side gate to the car waiting at the curb, my jaw drops to the floor and my feet stop moving. Really there is a good reason for this reaction as my flirty best friend sits in the front seat of a Ram truck waving crazily.  “Hurry up Willow!” Mandy calls after rolling down the window.  On their own accord, my feet travel towards the back door which is already propped open for me. I slide into the leather seat making an ugly noise.  “Hey Willow.” My best friend has lost her mind, or her flirting knows no bounds.  “Uh, hey Charlie. Kevin.” Kevin smiles next to me and Charlie turns around in the driver seat, slipping sunglasses back over his eyes before shooting the monster truck forward.    Mandy kept up the chatter enough for the ride not to be too awkward. See, she has this ability to be a chatter box, but she also has the ability to carry a conversation that doesn’t revolve just around her life like most girls do. Her enthusiasm and excitement soon caught on to Charlie, who wouldn’t stop smiling our laughing at anything Mandy said. If he wasn’t such a slut, I would think he actually had a thing for her.  We arrive at the pool party as it is in full swing. Many upcoming seniors like the four of us are here. None of them I really talk to, at all. Mandy and Charlie disappear to the drink section while Kevin is immediately surrounded by females thriving for his attention. While Charlie is the one to flaunt his appreciation for the opposite sex, Kevin hides his. Sure, he is smiling at all the attention, but deep in his eyes his discomfort is noticeable.  I take a seat on a lounge chair close to the pool waving Kevin over in order to give him some excuse. My actions are beyond words in my mind, but deep down it’s selfishness on my part. I want a distraction, and since Mandy has dissipated into thin air, Kevin is my last hope. He doesn’t deny my requests. He does, however, slowly strut over to the empty lounge chair next to me as his arms slowly reach over and take over his shirt. Bad mistake. Now I have joined the asinine club of female gawker.  “Thanks, for you know.” “Uh-yeah. Sure.” When our eyes meet, Kevin winks and a blush takes over. I was just caught oogling. Great.  “You going to take your clothes off? You’ll get a bad tan that way.”  Kevin leans back on the lounge chair, pulling his arms behind his head. With one simple flick, his sunglasses slip falling over his eyes. I look down at my raggedy clothes, pulling at the loose tank top.  “Maybe in a little.” “Your choice.” Kevin shrugs like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He probably doesn’t either.  Reaching into my backpack, I pull out my own pair of glasses and some sunblock. I have pretty tan skin, but that’s because I am a smart person and actually put on sunblock so my skin doesn’t burn instead. The only problem now is that in a normal person’s world, applying sunblock usually means stripping down to the bathing suit. Turning my back to Kevin and quickly standing up, most of the clothes are discarded and folded at the edge of the lounge chair. As the application process of sunscreen has started, there’s just one tiny problem, who will do my back? Mandy, the ever faithful best friend is usually in charge of that part. I leave my back for last, buying time to see if Many reappears. No such luck. My head whips back and forth in search of her, but there is no sign of blonde hair and blue eyes in a green two piece.  “Here, let me.”  Kevin leans up, showing off just how many muscles the guy really does have. Holding out his hand, he shakes it impatiently at me. My mind snaps back to reality knowing i just caught twice in the matter of ten minutes checking him out. The pitter patter of my heartbeat refuses to slow down, and a heat deep down ignites some really hormonal feelings, but I act it off handing the lotion and turning around. There’s a squirt noise, and a snap of the lid being shut closed. The anticipation of feeling his hands on me starts another accelerated breathing process. My chest rises up and down in quick sessions. Just as his hands begin their connection, my skin wants to scream for more. Slowly, the rough hands massage their way over my back side. Starting from my shoulders in slow circular motions, down the sides and just above the top part of the bottom bikini. Once there, Kevin teases my back dimples with a tiny pinch. I near let out a groan of wanting. “Hot damn! Willow, you look hot enough to eat girl.” My eyes snap open. Mandy approaches from the right, carrying two plastic red cups. I push myself up and away from Kevin and his seriously alluring, captivating and spellbinding touch. Oh God, what is wrong with me? Me attracted to Kevin? No, no, no. Cannot and will not ever happen. Mandy stops in between both lounge chairs. Her bandeau top pushes up her C cup breasts, and two tiny strings on the side hold up front and back triangle bottoms. She even is wearing a matching green belly button ring. In other words, Mandy is the one to look hot enough to eat, not me. “Here.” She pushes a red cup full of slosh in my hand. I look up at her in question. “Margarita time. Charlie has yours Kevin.” Before I can deny the requests of not wanting it, Mandy turns around taking a seat near Kevin’s feet engaging him in conversation. I look down at the slosh and think why not? In the last few summers, Mandy and I have had our moments of drinking the night away into oblivion. Most of the time is when I couldn’t stop thinking about why my mother left, the other time was my father’s two year death anniversary. We didn’t do it every anniversary per say, but we did it whenever those times just grew too unbearable. And didn’t I want a distraction?  “Bottoms up.” Charlie salutes his own cup, I salute back. The day only starts to begin from there.  Super Troopers The white ball soars through the air landing perfectly in the last cup with a simple splash that goes unheard by the roaring crowd. Mandy, using my back for support, jumps up and down yelling incomprehensible drunk words. I think she meant to say “you suck” at one point, but all that came out was “y’sssook.” “We won!” Mandy shouts, more clearly this time. “Because of me.” I smirk. Mandy, too drunk to do anything than cheer, had been no help in the floating beer pong game. “Number one cheering squad. Ah!” Charlie swoops up Mandy in the pool, swaying her around like some sort of princess. I can’t help but wonder what games he is playing at. Maybe Mandy is his next victim? Last week she was gagging at him making a move on her, two seconds later she is swooning outside the ice cream shop, and now they are full blown making out in a crowded pool in front of many of Charlie’s previous conquests. Whom, at the moment, are not looking too happy. “Get a room.” Kevin saunters over. The water is never ending waves and ripples from constant motion. Someone removes the floating beer pong table out of the pool, creating more space for people to splash and swim about.  Charlie and Mandy finally break apart and there’s that look Mandy has. The one that says she has drunk way too much and is about to blow out the entire contents of her stomach. I grab her hand, pulling her to the steps of the pool and leading her out. Once on cemented ground, it’s harder to keep her upright. Putting an arm around her waist, I holster more of her weight on me. We pass Clarissa passing out more drinks on the way. “Where’s the bathroom?” Clarissa takes one look at Mandy shaking her head. “She is not blowing chunks in my bathroom.” She then proceeds to walk away. Mandy drops her red cup, swaying even more and the moment is nearing by the seconds. I really am not feeling up to cleaning puke off myself. When I look over my shoulder back at the pool, Charlie seems blind to the little melodrama going on with his date talking with a bunch of senior guys that I don’t even know their names, but Kevin is watching us with an eagle eye. We make eye contact as he takes a sip of his drink, never breaking it. Kevin has been on and off all day. One moment he seems nice and easy to talk to, the next shut off from the world. Contrary to what I previously thought, he is a major flirt. The only things is, Kevin doesn’t sleep with these girls. Why? I break the eye contact and look back at Mandy, remembering there are more important problems to be dealt with.  “Don’t feel so hot, Willow.” “I know.” What I really want to say is DUH, and next time CONTROL YOUR DRINKING. But I don’t. Instead, I keep walking Mandy through the backyard to the gate where we first entered from. Bushes align the outside part of the wooden gate. To hell with Clarissa, if she won’t let Mandy blow chunks in her bathroom, then it’s happening in the bushes. Mandy drops to her knees and the gagging starts. Being the good friend I am, as she continues to let out the contents of her stomach, I pull back her hair and hold it while holding my own breath as well.  Ten minutes later, my best friend is snoring on the sidewalk and I am at a lost of what to do next. I don’t want to bother Charlie and Kevin to drive us, especially because they have been drinking. Add to that, all of our stuff is inside the backyard and while Arab can be trusted enough to not have some random stranger walking by and kidnap Mandy or worse, I don’t want her to wake up and freak out because I am not there. The snores continue. Well.. this blows. Mandy groans, pushing herself into a fetal position.  “Hey Mandy, I’ll be right back okay?” Another groan. I’ll take that for an okay in drunken terms. I hop up in a quicken pace and start heading towards to gate all the while taking in the bushes. Now the only situation problem is the driving. How are we going to ge-”Umph..” My body bounces off another one, just more hard and much more taller. The consequence sends me flailing backwards. Two feet from the ground and strong hands grip my wrists pulling my back. The person steps out of the shadows as my beating hard slows down, and then Kevin’s face appears and the beating accelerates. Images of him applying the sun tan lotion earlier flash, with a dozen more from the day. Mostly of him giving me some sort of stare that seemed to hold me frozen in place each time. Weird and unnatural.  “Forget this?” I try not to laugh at the fact that Kevin has stated that to me twice in one week, but I fail. When Kevin holds up two bags containing our contents, I nod still laughing. His lips twitch, but nothing else reveals behind the mask of his. He’s smiled sure, like in the car, but now those smiles seem so guarded. Unlike last time, he doesn’t have to wait for the thanks. Kevin only nods in reply. “Who’s taking you two home?” “Why?” Kevin steps closer, I take a step back. “Because Mandy and Charlie were supposed to crash at my house, but are completely trashed.” The tone is low and feral. Kevin is pissed and taking out at me. While this might intimidate others, what Kevin doesn’t know is that living with my grandmother is more intimidating. “Since when is Mandy on friendly terms with you?” He steps back, I feel myself breathing again. “Since she and Charlie have been hanging out all week.” Kevin smiles smugly at my wide open mouth. “Didn’t know did you? Aren’t you supposedly her best friend?” “Not supposedly and what my friend does with her love life is no business of mine.” Yes, it is and she sure as hell is getting a storm in the morning. Keeping it secret would only last so long. Eventually news would spread and Mandy knows that I would have given her crap for even thinking that Charlie was the dating or settling down type. “Right. I’ll believe that when me shit turns purple and tastes like rainbow sherbert.” “Did you just quote Super Troopers?” Kevin bursts out laughing. This one is real and unguarded like ones before. His demeanor from hostile to joking in seconds flat is giving me whiplash.  “Okay Willow, you surprised me with that one.” Moans echo from behind. We both turn around in flash as Mandy uprights herself shakily, looking around in a confused haze. “Go. I’ll be back.” Kevin takes the stance again, leaving before a response can be formed. I walk back over to Mandy. On all fours she looks me, then the bushes, and back at me. “Oh God, did I...?” “Yup.” “Did Charlie see?” “Yup.” Mandy ducks her head in shame. “What did he say?” “That you are stupid for thinking that your best friend wouldn’t find out about you two. What are you thinking Mandy? You are better than that!” I stomp my foot to add an emphasis on just how upset I am that she kept this secret. My best friend keeps her head down, slow tears drip down her face. I want to feel bad, but honestly I can’t say that I do. It’s not because of her dating Charlie, it’s because she lied about it. Wouldn’t come clean. Now here she is, drunk and crying. Yeah, she would win an oscar for sure.  “Hey, come on.” Kevin reappears with Charlie who is not much better off than Mandy. Charlie attempts at helping Mandy into the car but two drunk people do not make a half sober one. Kevin ends up hauling Mandy by her waist and throwing her in the back seat. Charlie slides in next to her, while I take the front. Soon two sets of snoring are sounding from the backseat.  When Kevin passes the street that turns into my house and heads straight through town I ask him where he’s going. “All four of us are drunk. Do you really want your grandmother to smell your booze breath?” Looking at the clock reading only nine pm, Kevin makes a valid point. All of our parents would be up and that would be fun one trying to explain. “If you don’t want to spend the night, I’ll drive you home once you are sober.” “Yeah, that works.” Still clad in only a bathing suit, I wrap my arms around my torso feeling the nakedness all of sudden. Kevin passes through main street and heads towards the very end where his infamous house lives. With his old lineage connected to Arab’s founder, his family has the biggest house. On about eight acres of land and a four story home that cannot quite be defined as a mansion nor the suburbs, he was born to one of the wealthiest families in town. Speaking of families. “Where are you parents?” After some lip thinning and jaw bunching, Kevin responds. “Out of town.” “That’s convenient.” “It’s always convenient.” He says under his breath. When his knuckles start turning white and the grip on the steering wheel tightens, it’s clear that parents are a no-go topic here. Fine with me, I really wouldn’t want to get into about my parents either. About two minutes later, we are pulling into a long gravel driveway lined by red bricks. The greenest grass of the town moves for miles until Kevin finally stops in front of a wraparound porch. I look back Charlie and Mandy, both asleep. Mandy with her head on Charlie’s lap while his he rest on her back. “Leave them. Too much dead weight to try and carry.” Shocked at his words I try and protest but Kevin only shrugs shutting the car door and entering his house. With only snores keeping me company, I jump out and follow. Entering the darkened house means seeing the inside for the first time really is not that wonderful as to be expected. Kevin only lights enough for the entrance hallway which is all marble tile and leads the way down back into a den area. A bar stands at the very right of the wall, giving any real bar in this town a run for their money in the selections department. Three large black leather couches create three fourths of a circle. Where the fourth part would be lays a large entertainment system and a flat screen television that takes up nearly the entire wall. The center of all of this a clear glass coffee table that sparkles and shines brighter than my teeth.  “Here.” Kevin hands over a glass cup. A few pieces of ice rattle inside the red liquid. “What is this?” “Cranberry and vodka.” Taking a seat in the center of the three couches, Kevin kicks up his feet sprawling out and clicking on the tv. His abs shimmer in the dim light and then I remember my own state of undress. While he feels completely comfortable in just board shorts, I don’t in a bikini. Good thing I brought my bag with me.  After the clothes from earlier are over my now drying bathing suit, I take a seat next to Kevin. My drink remains untouched while his is nearly empty. When Super Troopers pops out on the screen, I can’t help when a big grin comes across my face. Making eye contact, Kevin smiles too. Then the smile fades. Oh, what now? “Not drinking?” “You said you would drive me home when I was more sober.” “You didn’t specify the time. Besides you swear like your grandmother is ignorant to what happened at the pool party.” True and true. But still... “And do you really trust us with Mandy alone?”  “Wow, when you put it that way.” As if some secret passes, Kevin smiles knowing he won this round. Taking a deep breath, my fingers type my grandmothers phone number. “Willow.” She greets automatically. It isn’t a very nice greeting either. “Hi, grandma.” I try for a fake cheery voice. She doesn’t fall for the trick. “Where are you?”  “Um, at Kevin Gardley’s house.” For some reason, the feeling that she is shaking her head in an okay gesture pops into my mind. Her next words only confirm. “Good, he’s a good boy.” Uh, what? “Is it you or Mandy?” “You know everything don’t you?” “Honey, I am not an old unwise woman. I’ll take it that it is that Mandy girl. Bring her over for breakfast in the morn and be safe.” “Okay..” “Goodnight, honey.” Click. How was that so easy? And how does she know everything? God, she is like the people whisperer.  “Let me guess, she’s okay with everything?” The bitterness in Kevin’s tone doesn’t go unnoticed.  “Uh, actually yeah.” There was no way I am giving him an ego boost with my grandmother’s false misunderstanding words of him being  “good boy.” Kevin Gardley is anything but. “Do you not like my grandmother or something?” Kevin shoots me a dark look. His eyes have gone cold and shut down, his demeanor stands on guard, straight and arrow his body shoots up. “I’m going to bed. Feel free to use any of the guest bedrooms on the second floor.” After he leaves the den, a loud crash echoes into the den sounding familiar to a class cup breaking. Whatever is going on between his alter ego’s, he needs to get them in check. One moment he is easy to talk to and the other a cold monster comes out throwing class cups for no apparent reason. Everyone Knows Something After Super Trooper’s ended, I decided it was time to take that offer on one of the guest bedrooms. First things first, the intention is to get Mandy up and at it so she can take a bed too. I am not that messed up of a friend to leave her sleeping in a car all night long. Following the same path back to the front door, the car is in the same spot as before. The only problem is when I look in, neither Charlie nor Mandy are fast asleep in the back seat. A chill crawls over my skin and worry hits my stomach, notting into a dozen butterflies flying around in fury. Where the hell are they? Standing there like a shocked idiot doesn’t help, so I turn back around and run into the house. With minimal light and even less knowledge of where Kevin’s bedroom is, I am at a loss of what to do. The only thing possible is to start checking bedrooms.  I start on the second level since that is where Kevin suggested all the guest bedrooms might be. It’s a maze at first climbing one of the two set of stairs. To the right are six doors and to the left five. Being closer to the right, I start opening the doors and turning on the lights only to find empty bedrooms and one empty half bathroom. Once I have reached the end I turn around and head the other direction. Much of the same this time except no half bathroom. With one door left all the way at the far end, I pray that those two idiots are in here sleeping away without misery, because internally I am freaking out. Okay, Charlie may not be some psychotic teenager, but he could be a horny one trying to get Mandy to sleep with him.  My hand reaches out to the door knob just as it turns and the door swings wide open. To my dismay, a sleepy Kevin is standing in front of me. I try, keyword try, not to notice how his hair is in disarray making him look so innocent and cute, or how he only wears boxer briefs to bed, showing off his muscular and tan build.  “Can I help you?” He snaps. “I can’t find Mandy or Charlie.” I snap back. Kevin rolls his eyes, walking past me. With nowhere else to go, I begrudgingly follow his lead. He walks down the stairs cutting to the left, passing through a display living room, rather than one where people actually sit down and converse in. Two more sets of doors, one on each side of opposite walls are there. Kevin opens the one on the right, swaying his arm as to say “look.” I peek my head in. There they are. Both completely snoring loudly this time. Charlie has his arm wrapped around Mandy as her backside is completely pushed to his front. Little smiles paint their faces. They seem so content. Slowly backing out, Kevin shuts the door. “Happy now?”  “What’s got you in a pissy mood?” Or your panties in a twist. Figuratively of course, his briefs are looking pretty stretched at the moment. On their own accord, my eyes trail back to the bulge in front.  “You.” His word snaps me back to reality. “Sorry I am such a dishevel to your life. If you would have-” Kevin doesn’t let me finish, only stalks away completely cutting me off. Now what the hell did I ever do to him? Today is the first day we have ever talked to each other. I remember his pinched smiled in the car ride over to the party. Does he really hate me that much? Whatever. Nothing I can do about it, and it’s not like I care. Right? Right. “Are you coming?” His voice booms causing me to jump three feet in the air.  Standing at the top of the second level with his arms crossed over his chest, a feeling of meeting the calvary pops into my head. When I reach him, Kevin turns right opening the first door on the left. Clicking on the light, I shield my eyes from the sudden brightness. The rooms is bigger than the kitchen and dining room at home put together, also more lavish. A four poster bed sits in the middle of the room. Oak night stands on each side and on the far left side is a couch. Another door sits next to the couch. “There’s a bathroom in here. Towels are under the sink.” Then I am alone. Wasting no time, I head to the shower. My skin is dry from the chlorine, my clothes have dried stiff on me and my hair is a tangled mess of waves. Awesome. The steamy shower feels great and soon after the cold water starts running I hop out and cover myself in towels. My clothes lay in a discarded heap on the floor. Without thinking, I pass those and head back into the bedroom with the full intention of sleeping in towels.  That doesn’t happen though. Kevin sits on the bed, his eyes trained on one of the oak night stands. I follow his gaze inspecting the handy work. It clicks that this was one of my father’s. Shocked to the core and unable to do anything but walk over to the night stand and caress it, it feels like a piece of him comes back. Four years ago he died and I have never felt so close to him than when touching one of his works of art.  “It was your fathers.” I nod. “Here.”  Pushed into my hands are clothes. A pair of black sweatpants with our high school emblem on them, a plain white shirt and surprisingly, a bra. Inspecting the bra, it is my exact size. “I guessed you were a B cup.” My eyebrows arch high. “Who’s is it?” “Who knows?” Kevin smiles smugly.  “So you aren’t gay?” I blurt. The words were out of my mouth before I could even think about the consequences. Fearing some sort of outburst, I am surprised when Kevin bursts out laughing. Standing up still laughing he heads to the door with my question unanswered. Just as he closes the door with just two inches left. The side of his face smirks at me. “I don’t do relationships, Willow. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my fun either.” Ew. Shutting the door still laughing, I stand there in a daze. So Kevin is a manwhore, he just doesn’t flaunt it like Charlie. It takes awhile to decide if that’s a good or bad thing. When my eyes finally shut for the night, I am still undecided.     ***** The next morning Charlie was the one to drop Mandy and I off. Mandy kept rubbing her temples in attempt to get rid of her pounding hangover. Grandma had breakfast just about ready when we walked in. With glasses of lemonade and water, and a cup of coffee, that table was set up for three. Once breakfast was served, pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns and sausages, we all sat down to eat. Grandma had to keep chiding Mandy to eat her food. “Lemonade to soothe your soul Mandy, and grease-y food to help the stomach. Eat it all now, child.” Mandy learned early on that you don’t argue with grandma. I scarfed down my food in no time, sneezing more frequently than usual. It didn’t feel like a cold was coming on, but usually if I stay away from the house for more than a day the dust bunnies get to me.  “Good job, Willow.” Grandma pats my head after all the food on the plate is now sitting inside my full belly. She then sends Mandy and I to my bedroom to go take a nap. Grandma, the hangover guru. Just as we stand up from the table she voices her opinion. “Next time the two of you decide it’s a good idea to drink into oblivion, think again.”  “God, how do you know everything?” Mandy repeats the same question I asked grandma last night. “I ain’t no child. I am an old wise woman, you best remember that, girl.” Mandy’s eyes bulge wide causing me to crack up laughing. She thinks she’s seen my grandmother at her best, but she hasn’t seen a thing yet.    The day passes by quickly and Mandy left after the three hour nap we took. Grandma recruited to me help with her garden vegetables. It seemed at first as some type of punishment. Showing how her garden lives and mine died, but then she seemed so content with me helping pulling out the weeds and planting tomato vines. Yes, I know, tomato is a fruit, but grandma’s tomato’s are legendary size.  “Fruit and vegetable roots mixing creates bigger results.” She says. I don’t know how much i believe that. It could be we have good soil here.  We continue to pull out weeds, plant new seeds and take out old vegetables that didn’t survive. Hey, her plants thrive, but not every single one lives. We also pull out vegetables that are ready to be cleaned and eaten. Two hours into the work, and none of us have said anything yet. Sometimes gardening is my own soothing the soul technique. Of course, my dead plot would say otherwise. “You register this week for school, honey.” Grandma finally breaks the silence.  “I know.”  “Good. How many classes you got this year?” Pulling out a deep rooted carrot, I grunt in exasperation before answering. “Only five. The AP classes gave me extra credits.” “That’s my smart girl.” Grandma smiles in appreciation, either at the huge carrot or my hard work in high school. An image of Kevin and his ugly, disdained face from last night creeps up.  “Grandma, why did you say Kevin is a good kid?” “You don’t think so, Willow?” We both quit our current pulling and sit down in the shade. Grandma wipes some sweat off her forehead with the back of her long sleeve shirt. Both of our pants are stained brown and green from the amount of time we spend out here every week. We use the same gardening pants so we don’t ruin any other clothing. Our long sleeves keep in the heat, but protect our skin from the sun. While Grandma also insists on wearing her straw hat, I just keep sunglasses on.  “He just seems so...” I trail off, hoping for her to finish my sentence. No such luck.   I try again. “He just acts so standoffish. He is so hot and cold one minute from the next, I can’t keep up with his mood swings. What’s his problem?” “Willow.” Her chiding voice is back. I groan out loud as she swipes her hand against my arm in a weak slap. “You can’t judge that boy anymore than he can judge you.” “He does though! God, he talked to me yesterday like I was no better than the dirt underneath his shoe.” Grandma smiles that all knowing smile. “Honey, you just haven’t read his story yet.” “But you have apparently, so tell me.” With a sad smile, Grandma shakes her body off with dirt. Standing up, I follow the same pattern before entering the house. Immediately Grandma goes the cupboard, pulling out two glasses. Before she even has to ask, I reach into the fridge pulling out the carafe of lemonade, made fresh every morning. When Grandma needs a cup for herself, it’s never a good sign. Grandma leans on the countertop. She hates gardening with her walker nearby, reminds her of her old age she says. Her legs must be tired and sore. Pretty soon, she will have to take a nap to rejuvenate. When her eyes linger outside the window, I know it’s something pretty important wheeling around in the mind of hers. “Grandma, what’s the big secret?” Her sad smile returns. “Willow, give the boy a chance.” “Grandma?” I ask confused. “It’s time for my nap, honey.” Holding out her arm for me, I guide her to her bedroom. She remains quietly content on the slow walk. My mind turning circles as I help her take off her shoes and hat. Pulling back the covers for her, she slides in gracefully for her age.  “What are you keeping from me?” With tired eyes, she sighs. “Somethings are not meant to be told from me, but the source itself.” “So Kevin is the source?” The way she is talking in lingo, it’s like everything is directed at something hidden from me. What exactly could that be? Maybe, they’ve seen my mother or know where she is at. In that case, I would like to know. Just so I could approach her and ask what exactly she thought she was doing leaving me at the house by myself. What if I had gone into shock and no one found me? Or what if something had happened because I was freaking out at her absence? Did she even bother to check up on me, at least secretively? “He just understands, Willow.” Her breathing deepens as her exhaustions takes ahold. What exactly can a boy that I’ve hardly had contact with, understand?   **** We sit at a booth this time in the ice cream shop. Ignoring Mandy all week had been a task, one that grandma was obviously not blind to. When registration day had come, just four days before school starts for our senior year, grandma forced me to go with Mandy. But she wasn’t alone. No, Kevin and Charlie were with her. Hence the reason for the ignoring.  The two lovebirds sit across from me, Kevin to my right. The four of us haven’t really talked much as a group, rather in pairs or trios. Kevin and I haven’t talked directly to each other yet.  After the gardening day, my mom and dad had been on my mind all week. Rehashing the old pain didn’t help any, but only brought more questions to my mind. What exactly did Kevin understand about me? And why does he talk with so much apparent hatred towards me? That does not equal understanding in my book. Grandma has officially lost her touch, or she’s delusional. I’m going with delusional.  “What do you guys want?” Charlie finally asks. “I know what Willow wants.” Charlie and Mandy share a look. “And I know what Kevin wants.” They smile at each other and exit the booth. When I turn my head at Kevin, he avoids all eye contact with me. No time like the present to confront him. “My grandmother seems to think you are a good kid.” He only offers me a brief glance. “She also seems to think you ‘understand’ me.” I add finger quotes to emphasize my point. Kevin straightens up in his seat. “I know more than I’d like to know.” Intrigued, I pull Kevin’s sleeve to face me. He shoots me a nasty look, but doesn’t say anything. “Just what do you know, Kevin Gardley?” “What everyone in the town knows.” He shrugs, I slap the back of his head for playing stupid.  “Don’t do that again.” He growls. Of course, I do it again. “Willow..” His voice has taken on a warning tone. “Or what? You are playing evasive so I am playing dirty. Tell me, what do you know? Have you heard from my mother? Is she in town, hiding?” I can’t keep the enthusiasm out of my voice, nor do I want to. Shaking Kevin this time, he growls even louder until his forehead is pressed against mine. Eye to eye he speaks.  “I know nothing. Drop it.” Golden flecks scatter around the greenish brown eyes. My breathing hitches up a notch. His is no better. Both of us are panting like dogs in heat. Boy, does it feel like I am heat. My stomach starts doing somersaults as chills spread all around my body head to toe. A deep need pools between my legs, at first I am confused at this reaction. When it hits like a brick to the head, I pull back with wide eyes. Kevin seems to understand that reaction perfectly and offers a quick smirk. “Do I turn you on, little one? Does my ferocious tone and heated gaze bring wanting?” Strategically placing his hand on my stomach, just above my crotch, Kevin pulls in face to face again. Pushing his hand inward, my skin jumps at the desire and need to be touched by him. By Kevin Gardley. Oh hell. Words get stuck in my throat, I swallow a few times in attempt to talk. “No.” I rasp out. Turning his head, his hot breath catches at the nape of my neck trailing up towards my left ear. The panting from both of us had increased tenfold. Closing my eyes, I try taking deep breaths to calm the sudden urge to jump his bones. Really it does nothing other than catch a whiff of his cologne and body masked together. The same smell of his clothes that I borrowed and yet to give back. It does strange things to my senses, nearly having me salivate all over his shoulder. “Liar.” He whispers and whips back to his original straight sitting position. A veil once again over his face, masking whatever just happened there. With cold eyes, he turns to my direction. “I told you before I don’t do relationships.” “Why do you feel the need to reiterate?” It comes out husky and full of wanting. Okay, Willow stop it. You can stop right now. But I can’t, not even when his sharp demeanor is once again pointed at me.  “We both want each other. Enough said.” “Whew, hot today and hot tomorrow.” Mandy slides in the booth, handing over the cup of ice cream. Immediately I dig in, trying to cool off the burning in me.  Kevin and I both know it’s not from the heat in the weather.  New Friends School starts early on a hot Monday morning. Mandy called and requested an over the phone help to pick out her outfit. I could really care less in my shorts and scoop  neck shirt. There is one new development, until Mandy gets a car, Charlie is our new ride to school. Every. Morning. Oh goody. They arrive exactly at seven fifteen, forty five minutes before school starts so we can “hang” out with everyone else. In another time, Mandy and I would barely arrive at school on time and make into our classes before the bell rang. Now, we are hanging out with people who we have had no affiliation with in the last three years of school.  It’s a small miracle that Kevin is not in the car, but drove his own. After the whole ice cream day, my hormones around him had been on overdrive. The logical part of my brain would shut down in his presence, and instead my body craved his touch. The whisper of his lips against my own, hands roughened caressing my back inch by inch until they lower to my two little back dimples, then they would move forward and start with my “Hey, you are quiet back there Willow.” Charlie glances in the backseat through the rearview mirror. “Nervous about the first day of school?” He continues.  No, I am just having a hot and bothered fantasy with your best friend that has some kind of pre-notion hatred against me. “Ha! Willow isn’t nervous. She lives for school.” If I didn’t know any better, there seemed to be a bit of underlined loathing in Mandy’s words. We still hadn’t approached the Charlie topic since the pool party. Sure, we hung out a lot in the last week, but always with Charlie and Kevin. Always. “Babe...She’s just a smart girl.”  “Right.” Again, with the sarcastic hostility. “No, I am just a loser who spends all her time doing her homework and studying. Right, Mandy?” She remains silent. The tension in the air thickens. Charlie fidgets, glancing between my best friend and I, trying to gauge the situation.  We arrive at school in silence. I am the first to hop out of the car only to land next to Kevin’s white Tundra and Clarissa. I bite my lip in attempt to keep the groan in. Clarissa only offers a brief glance in my direction before turning her attention back to Kevin, who leans against his truck like some sort of male goddess. Why hadn’t I noticed before how much his aura of authority really does affect the female population?  When I look back into the car, Mandy sits with her arms across her chest and Charlie speaking to her. He doesn’t seem to happy with her and it gives me hope that maybe he is not such a bad guy if he is sticking up for me with one her bitch fits. They come, they go. He will have to learn that sometime. But, it’s still nice for someone to stick up to her with one of her tantrums than be like me and just ignore them until she cools down.  “Willow.” Kevin flicks his head to come over. My feet follow on their accord. Brain shut down in process, body craving in overload. Taking a spot next to Kevin against the car, I readjust my backpack so I can lean next to him. Clarissa in short jean skirt and white tank, flips her short blond hair behind her back, only to have it fall back in perfect place. Ah,  the female flirt attempts. Good thing I suck at those, because then I would look like an idiot like her. Oh wow, since when did I really care about Clarissa and her damn hair flipping? I look at Kevin, oh yeah since him.  “So anyways, my parents are going to be gone this weekend...” Clarissa trails off, letting Kevin fill in the meaning himself. Not hard to figure out that Clarissa falls under one of those “fun times without a relationship” category.  “I’ll think about it.” Clarissa pouts, shooting a glare in my direction. “Hi.” I wave awkwardly. She only offers an eye roll and literally stomps away. It’s hard to keep in a laugh, so I don’t. Kevin’s lips twitch in humor. “You know, if I have to keep saving you from unwanted attention I should deserve a reward.” Oh my God, that so came out more insinuating than anything else. Worse than Clarissa’s obvious attempt.  “Who says it’s unwanted?” “Okay, go get em tiger!” I move my arms in a shooing motion, suddenly angry.  “What’s got your panties in a twist?” You. “Nothing.” “Right.”  Silence threatens us for a few more minutes until Charlie and Mandy finally climb out of the monster truck. Mandy approaches with her head down. “Sorry, Willow. You know I didn’t mean it.” Yes you did. “It’s alright.” Suddenly feeling tired of all the snaps so early in the morning, I begin to walk away. Going to class early seems smarter than standing there brooding. “Willow!” I wave with my back still turned to them. So much for barely being on time.   The first day of school, there really isn’t homework assigned. Only get to know you papers after the whole introduction to the syllabus. So boring yes, time for more thinking, definitely. Once lunch finally rolls around, I want to hop in the air doing some victory dance. After lunch one class left and then I get to go home while everyone else has two classes after that. Lucky me at being the “smart girl.” Passing my locker, I throw the assigned books in there from the first four classes. Mandy’s locker is on the opposite side of the courtyard, but somehow Charlie and I are locker neighbors. Just as I slam my locker from the morning’s pent up frustration, Charlie smiles. I scream and jump in the air like some maniac.  “Ready for lunch?” Oh yeah. We are sitting with him and his friends now. So, not really. “Sure.” I mumble. Charlie turns around and I follow like a good little lap dog. Mandy meets us halfway to the cafeteria, automatically Charlie holds out his hand to her and they connect leaving me behind as the lonely, sad third wheel. Another body joins us, fortunately, it’s Luke. “Heya, Willow.” “Hi Luke.” Luke is one of those gangly looking kids. Tall and skinny, just waiting for that summer when all his muscle fills out his length to make him well not gangly looking.  “How’s the first day of school?” He is also one of those genuine always happy kids. One where you don’t know whether to snap at him, or appreciate him. I’m at the borderline right now. “Eh, same as every year. Syllabus and ‘who are you’ worksheets.” Luke shakes his head. Funny now that I always knew Luke, we did have some classes together and some class projects, but we never hung out. Now Charlie is dating Mandy and I am automatically inserted into their little group by association. High school and their popularity groups. Sadly, high school will always have them and has always had them.  “When’s your last class?” We just approached the cafeteria doors, where Kevin and Clarissa wait. A few more of their friends do too, but I am not real familiar with their names.  “That’s Trina.” Luke points to a girl with long black hair, in clothing similar to Clarissa’s. She stands with her arms across her chest with a scrunched up face. When she looks over at us approaching, her eyes seem to only look for me. Doing the once over on me, the thing where girls look up and down your outfit deciding whether your are worthy or not, she turns back to Clarissa whispering. They both find their heads towards my directions giggling. “Don’t mind her. She is Clarissa’s right hand man.” “Why didn’t I see her at the pool party?” “She was out of town. Those two guys next to Kevin are Lucky and Herman. Lucky’s real name is Lucky, but Herman goes by his last name. Don’t ever say his first name, he hates it. Other than that, they are two pretty laid back guys. If you ever need some back up, they will be behind you no matter what.” “I don’t even know them.” “Yeah, but Kevin and Charlie cleared you.” “Cleared me?” I ask, obviously offended. Luke takes a step back at my humiliation, which he mistakes for horror. “Don’t worry. Some people try to get in our group to use the guys. We all hang out together, because honestly we all come from wealth.”  “Why are you telling me this, Luke?” He shrugs. “You don’t seem the type to care about labels, but people, mainly Clarissa and Trina, will give you a hard time. If they do, ask one of us and we can shut them up immediately.” Oh God. This is not looking too fun.  Mandy comes from upper middle class too, which makes sense why they aren’t giving her a hard time. Other than me, they all really are wealthy and most everyone here, whether they know by name or personally, know about my family problems. They also know, Grandma and I don’t qualify under the wealthy department. Don’t get me wrong, Grandma gives me anything I want or need, but nothing is ever extravagant. I have never really minded it, and I refuse to now just because two girls think I am lower class than them. “Hey guys.” Luke proceeds to do the male handshake, which is a hand bump, hug, slap on the back thing. Weird.  “Lucky, Herman, this is Willow.” Kevin introduces us. Still unsure, I only give a small wave. Lucky isn’t having any of that. Throwing an arm over my shoulder, he pulls me close. “We do hugs.” He exclaims. Lucky has the sandy blonde, dark brown eyes thing going on. Automatically he is the goofy one, where Herman is all muscle. Born to be a linebacker type of muscle. When he hugs me, it’s like hugging a giant teddy bear. “Don’t mistake Herman for a rough and tough guy, he’s actually really soft inside.”  Lucky’s joke eases the tension in my shoulders. I notice the two take each of my side as we walk into the cafeteria, effectively blocking Trina and Clarissa. Luke was right, they would protect me, no questions asked. I wonder who gave them the warning. Luke or Kevin? “So what are we having today big guy? Salad?”  “Cheese burgers.” Herman’s voice is deep, but when he sends me a wink I know that he really is a softy. I guess I was so used to just Mandy and I, that it never made sense to make more friends. Now in this situation, I am glad for her and Charlie getting together. Well minus the female part of the group. These guys seem really cool and protective over me.  And we just met.  I don’t know if that qualifies me as shallow. Things just happened and friends didn’t make sense at the time. Then again, this group would have never given me a second thought if it weren’t for Charlie and Kevin. A Ride Home Lunch was funny and full of laughter. It seems as though Lucky doesn’t just crack jokes on Herman. He even did a few at my expense. It was easy to see how nobody took offense to his words. It was all in the name of fun and nothing was ever serious. Except for Kevin, of course. Sure he would crack a smile here and there, but he never laughed. Like ever. Even when the moment called for it. I found myself laughing so hard a few times that tears came to my eyes and my stomach started hurting.  When I didn’t understand a joke, Luke would whisper in my ear what it was really meant to be. Herman was the silent type, but at least he laughed. It was straining, but I kept my eyes off Trina and Clarissa. Mandy and I really didn’t talk either, which I think Charlie could still sense the tension between us. When he would try and lure me into a conversation, Mandy would say something to gain his attention right back. It was obvious that she thought I was trying to take Charlie’s attention away from her. She had never acted like this before with a guy or me, so this was all new territory. I brushed it off with a shrug whenever Charlie would look at me with apologetic eyes.  As the bell rang ending lunch, we all stood up. “Which class do you have brainiac?” Lucky again. I smile anyways, he means no harm with his words. “Physics.” “No way! Me too. Lead the way.” Lucky bows. “Now who’s the brainiac?” “Still you, my dear.” Lucky turns around looking for someone.  “Yo Kevin, smarty pants over here has class with us. Let’s go cheat off her.” See what I mean? Never a serious moment with Lucky, which is a nice break for once. Kevin breaks apart from a whispering moment with Charlie and heads over to our direction. Lucky throws an arm over my shoulder. He seems to have no understanding of the word boundaries, but then again nothing is ever serious with him. So no harm, no foul. When the three of us are ready we head towards the direction of the math and science building. What I really want to know is what Charlie and Kevin were discussing back there. I bide my time, knowing so early on that Lucky will most likely take up the room for talking.  As we continue walking, Kevin shoots a glare at Lucky and almost instantly his arm drops from my shoulder. If I were any other girl, my mind would be racing with what that means and over thinking just about everything. But I am not.  I slap Kevin behind his head. “Be nice.” Lucky stops walking, his mouth completing a perfect circle. “Willow..” Kevin growls. We’ve been through this before. Turning around, I start walking backwards.  “You guys coming or what?” I turn around again not waiting to see if they join me. Lucky’s laughter permeates the halls. “Dude, you got a strong willed one there.” I hear a slap on the back and Kevin say something along the lines that he is going to kick my ass. In your dreams buddy, in your dreams.  Class has assigned seating. Lucky’s name tag is stuck on a desk in the very front. He tries grabbing it, but the teacher catches him. Looking defeated he sits down with sad sigh. I couldn’t help but laugh, that is until the teacher shot me a glare leaving me scrambling trying to find my name.  Willow Hart On a folded white notecard in the back lays my card. Guess who’s name is next to mine?  Kevin Gardley Why do teachers insist on boy, girl classroom seating arrangements? The bell rings and already on the teacher’s bad side I jump into my seat as Kevin leisurely sits in his. Leaning back, he crosses his arms behind his head like he is ready to take a nap. This is one of the first times he has ever seemed at ease. Usually straight backed and sitting properly, Kevin acts like a tight ass. Now in his element, it seems that he can relax for once. This demeanor is dangerous. It makes him seem available and touchable. So easy for me to slide my finger down the contours of his face, mesmerizing my touch to his skin. My fingers twitch and in response I grip the table turning my fingers white.  “Willow, you are staring.” I don’t feel embarrassed at all, surprisingly.  “Yeah well, you seem so content for once. I want this in my memory so I know you aren’t always a hard headed jerk.” “Class!” The teacher’s voice booms, effectively shutting everyone up. My gaze snaps to him and for the next forty-five minutes that’s where it stays.  The bell rings, signaling the end of the day for me. It brings a grand smile to my face seeing most of the senior students walking towards their next class. Lucky waits for  us outside the door. “Man, I think I fell asleep.” “Yeah, the dried drool on your lips thinks so too.” “Checking out my kissable lips, brainiac?” Lucky puckers his lips only for me to send a light slap on them. “My hand was itching for some contact.” He laughs. Once Kevin has joined us we begin walking again. “What do you have now?” “Home. That’s my last class.” I shoot a thumb over my shoulder. Lucky nods, then salutes Kevin and I. “Go to go. Don’t kill each other.” And he’s off.His sandy blonde hair bounces with every step, every once in awhile through the prong of bodies he finds a hand and slaps it. Man, he has so much energy.  “Want a ride home? I am done for the day too.” My feet stop working at that moment. Kevin offering a ride home without being drunk? Kevin being nice to me? My hand reaches out to his forehead. “What are you doing Willow?” “Seeing if you have a fever. Follow my finger.” When I use my index finger to swipe back in forth in front of his eyes, his lips turn down and his eyes remain on mine.  “Do you want a ride home or not?” Oh yeah, there’s the snappy Kevin I know. “Sure.” Pushing me forward towards the parking lot, Kevin stays behind me the whole time. His fingers dig into my shoulder, which would have been really nice if they were moving and massaging. The closer we got to his car, the deeper they dig in. Usually, when I fantasize about our touching, it doesn’t involve pain. “Kevin you are hurting me.” I try wiggling, but come on he is stronger than I am. “Just keep walking.” Once the bodies clear out, and we are out the front doors, Kevin pushes me harder. The urgency in his steps increases my own panic.  “Kevin-” “Willow. Shut up. Please.” He adds more sincerely. Even though his touch hasn’t loosened one bit, and there will be bruises tomorrow, somehow it doesn’t frighten me. At first it did, but now it feels almost like protection. Just how Lucky and Herman were at lunch. So if Kevin feels the need to protect me, then I wonder just from who? My mother? Trina or Clarissa?  Walking over a pouch of grass cuts some time off instead walking the cemented path. His car is now only a few feet away.  “Kevin! Wait up!”  Clarissa.  I think this time we both let our groans be heard. Kevin pushes his keys into my hands, “Go to the car.” He whispers in my ear. Like hell, I am. I want to watch what happens. Shooting me a ‘you will pay later for this’ look, he says nothing else turning around. Clarissa saunters up. With no preamble, she slides her fingers down his chest. I can just see her imagining him naked, hey I have before. Yeah, okay. I am no better than her. Well, I am because I am not so obvious. Right? Right.  “So have you given anymore thought about Saturday?” “I can’t this Saturday.” No sorry, nothing. “Why?” She pouts. Enter me. “Sorry we’ve got plans with Charlie and Mandy this weekend. All weekend.” I don’t grab for Kevin or rub up next to him. I stand my ground from where I am at, trying to show her there is no love or sex interests between Kevin and I. My fluttering stomach says otherwise when Kevin agrees.  “Come on.” She purrs like a cat. “You can always hang out with your friends afterwards.” “No.” Kevin pushes Clarissa off and heads towards the car, snatching the keys out of my hand. Clarissa’s mature response is to bare her teeth at me.  “You should trying choosing friends over sex sometime. Obviously you aren’t getting the release of endorphins you so need. Laughing more might help.” i smile sweetly before walking away. “You bitch.” She mutters. I wave with my hand behind my back for the second time that day. This time, it feels much more exhilarating.  Necessary Distraction The rest of the school week goes off much of the same. After the ride home on Monday, in which Kevin sternly told me, “I can take care of myself,” and I responded with, “Yeah, sure seemed like it,” we’ve been at each other’s throats.  I slap him in the back of the head and he growls and gives me threats. Lucky finds it all amusing, creating ways to set us off. Herman and Lucky both sit on each side of me at lunch still, now acting even more protective as Trina and Clarissa don’t try and hide the whispers to each other while staring at me. Or the laughing in my face or even the snide little comments here and there.  Mandy hasn’t stood up for me, nor has she joined their little posse. She remains silent, in her little Charlie bubble. Charlie is the one who usually says to knock it off or cut it out. Because of that, my appreciation for Charlie seems to have grown. He isn’t such a bad guy after all. Kevin sits spine straight, but doesn’t come to my defense either. Jerk.  Even with all of this going on, he is still insistent on giving me a ride home from school everyday. Which, in all honesty, I am superbly grateful for. Nothing beats walking in the heat like sitting with someone in a nice air conditioned car with electricity zipping around molded from constant bickering.  Grandma is suspicious. Not about Kevin dropping me off, no she still insists that he is a good boy, but about Mandy not coming around as often. I still stick to my school habits of going straight home and doing homework with a bit of studying the next chapters. At night fall is when Mandy would deem safe from my brainiac moments to come over and chat, but she hasn’t. She won’t even call or text me. Which I guess goes both ways, though she is the one acting paranoid and like a jealous feline. I now understand the concept of women not liking women because they understand how each other thinks. Sometimes, it just grows to be annoying and worrisome. I still consider Mandy my best friend, but I don’t know if she feels the same way. That hurts, more than I will admit out loud.  Friday comes and it’s a different day. Fed up with Clarissa and Trina’s constant blabbering I tell them to shut it at lunch. Trina more or less looked taken aback from my outburst, Clarissa, the sneaky girl she is, now knows she is getting to me. Even more shocking, Kevin stands up for me this time.  “You guys have something to say about Willow, fucking say it. If not, shut up already.” Clarissa turned beet red, especially when Lucky and I used each others shoulders to hide our laughter. Our shaking stomachs were dead give aways.  In physics, I woman up and tell Kevin thanks for sticking up for me. He doesn’t seemed too pleased with my thanks, but it’s all I can give. Maybe he is upset that I am setting up walls between the group. Charlie, Lucky, Herman, Luke (when he is present) and I against Clarissa and Trina with Kevin and Mandy playing Switzerland.  Class ends, we walk to his car in silence. Once the AC is on and I can feel the coolness reaching every pour, it seems as the appropriate time to ask him. “Kevin, do you feel I am disrupting your group mojo?” “My what?” His glasses shade his eyes, which are usually the hints to his emotional states. “You know, you were all a tight knit group and the comes along the poor girl with no parents, disrupting that natural setting of your group.” This is the first time I have ever voiced the white ghost in the room. My parents.  “Willow..” Kevin sighs. “Your home life has nothing to do with what’s going  on there. Besides there was no group mojo. We let Clarissa and Trina hang out with us because usually they don’t bring drama.” “Until now. Until I entered the picture.” Looking out the window, I feel like a burden everywhere I go. Hey grandma, mom ditched me, so here I am to live with you. Hey Mandy, I have no friends, be my friend? Hey Kevin, Luke, Herman and Charlie accept me as a third wheel into your group please? Most of all, my mother. Except, she was the one brazen enough to actually up and leave. To be the one and say with more actions than words, that I was truly a burden to her.  Before I know it, tears are dripping down my face. Quickly they are wiped away. If Kevin notices, he doesn’t say anything. Which sends a slight tingle of appreciation his way.  The car stops at the curb of Grandma’s house. Hopping out Kevin calls out my name.  “What?” I can’t make eye contact with him, instead looking at his center console. My voice is full of hurt and pain, raspy with unshed tears. “Come over tonight.” My eyes snap to his, which are still covered. For some reason, I feel angry. Angry at him for even suggesting what he is, even though a shiver of anticipation disagrees with that. He sits, waiting and waiting some more. Anger and wanting both fifty fifty fighting each other to see who wins. I don’t do relationships, Willow. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my fun either.  “Call Clarissa for your fun.” I slam the door stomping in the house.  “Honey, I have some lemonade over here for you.” Oh good lord, what now? Throwing my backpack on the ground, I sneeze before following grandma’s voice. Sitting at the small kitchen table, rather than the large wooden one just outside the kitchen, two glasses of lemonade stand on coasters. One half empty, the other completely full. My stomach drops to my toes, dread and fear all at once have me breaking out in a full sweat of terror. Lemonade, two glasses, one already somewhat gone. Something bad has happened, and I have no idea what it could be. “Take a seat, Willow.” Everyday her voice sounds more tired and tired. It kicks the old worry in me that I am losing time with her, leaving me alone in this world. I take a seat next to the full cup of lemonade. “Spit it out, grandma.” Usually she would reprimand my harsh tone, she only shakes her head. “It’s hard Willow, to tell you what I have to.” I swallow a thick lump of nothing into my deserted throat.  “What is it?” “I want no reaction or outburst and no interrupting until I have finished, do you understand?” I can only nod, because undeniably I want to know and secondly, she will stick through with her unspoken threat. “Your mother called today.” An emptiness fills my stomach. If she had my grandmother’s cell number, she definitely could have mine. Yet, she didn’t call me directly. I am still a burden to her, even after four years of freedom. “This isn’t the first time she has called me to check up on you Willow, I want you to know that. It is, however, the first time she has acted in her real selfish form. As of last month Willow, your mother signed over her guardianship to me. I know, it seems a little late to do this considering your eighteenth birthday is just two months away, but it has been done. She called today, to let me know it has been finalized.” This time, I let out the tears willingly. A range of emotions overwhelm me, sadness, hate, fury, but also happiness and relief. At least one person in this world wants me around, and I have to be grateful for that, no matter the meaning of how we got here in the first place.  “How you feeling, sweetheart?” “Honestly, all over the place. Today has been...a really emotional day for me.” “Something happen at school?” Yes. “No.” Grandma takes a seat, pulling me into a hug where I let out all of my years of frustration and tears caused by the person who gave me birth into this world. “Grandma, are you sure you are okay with this?” Grandma pulls me back in pure fierceness.  “Willow Alexandria Hart, how dare you think so little of yourself. Not only are you my blood, you are my last connection to my son and therefore to me. Don’t you ever think that you do not belong in my home with me. Ya understand?” “Okay.” But it’s not, not really.  After most of the tears subsided, I grabbed my glass of lemonade taking it to my room. Grandma has knitting club tonight, in which I insisted she still attend. My mother has wreaked enough havoc into our lives, no reason to let her miss this day that my grandmother loves.  The door shuts softly a few hours later, where I have remained in my bed staring at my far empty wall. The pain is still there, so are the water works. It really begins to piss me off. Why should I care when my mother so obviously doesn’t? Why do I even feel so much pain with just the thought of her? That’s the problem, feeling. I don’t want to feel the bad pain anymore. I want the good kind. I want Kevin. Running out of my room, grabbing my backpack and then discarding it again once I’ve reached the item I have been looking for, I start pacing. No thinking Willow, just do it. And I do. Is the offer still on the table for tonight?  I wait a few minutes for a return text. My nerves kick until my phone vibrates. Are you sure? Yes. Amazingly, I had no hesitation with that last text. My phone starts singing and I throw it caught off guard. I catch it before hitting the ground and answer. “Willow.” No hello. “Are you sure?” His breathing is hitched, and no matter our everyday fights, I know he wants me just as much as I want him. “Yes.”  “You know my rules, no relationships.” “I don’t want one, either Kevin. I just need to forget, will you give me that?” Unsure about how much of it is a lie of not wanting a relationship and how much is true, I go with it. He did warn me, and that’s all there is to it. If I fall for Kevin, God help me if I do, than that will be my problem to deal with. Right now, I just need him and his body. “I’m leaving right now.”  I stare at the phone in shock for a full sixty seconds. My mind kicks into gear and I run towards the shower to clean up. Kevin is coming to get me to help me forget. I need this, but I also crave him like nothing before. My body hums with excitement. No fear, no terror, no worry. All bad things exit. This has to be my best idea yet. **** “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Only you. “Some water.” This is not how I planned the night would go. The anticipation in the car was near unbearable. Both of us stayed quiet, but the adrenaline rush pounded through me. Kevin stayed still as a statue, driving in the quiet night. Humidity permeated the night air. The only break from sweating was the air conditioner in both his car and his ginormous house. Now here we sit, in the den where he flipped out the first time and broke a glass cup. Where everything first started, that was only two weeks ago. Time flies and yet I felt I knew nothing about him other than the fact that grandma has no problem with me hanging out with him. That she trusts him for some reason and believes he can help me. Well, he can. Just not in the way she wants. Instead all this buying time is making me lose confidence. The lost of confidence will make me back out, and then I will go home and cry. Yeah, not going to happen. When Kevin brings over the water bottle and nothing else, I take it and throw it across the room. It lands softly against the leather couch. Not really the effect I was going for, but it will do. He arches his eyebrow in response.  “Kevin.” “Willow.” “Stop stalling.” Strong arms pull me from the seat. The next thing I know, my legs wrap around his waist in a tight fit, keeping him close to me. Eye to eye, my breathing comes out in quick sporadic movements. His lips barely graze mine, not a full kiss, not even a peck. Just a graze. It sends my body into haywire, sending off electric shocks in between my thighs pulling our bodies closer.  “I.” A quick peck. “Am.” Another. “Not.” This one just a second longer. “Stalling.” Our lips collide, my eyes close and my hands find his short hair pulling his head closer to mine. Inching back just a little, his tongue swipes across my upper lip asking for entrance. I give it to him. Our tongues mesh in some sort of dance, a moan slips out so feral it took more kissing to realize I kept making those noises. He wasn’t quiet either. I feel movement underneath. Kevin walks us up the stairs, but we never break contact. I feel myself soaking underneath my jeans unto my lacy booty shorts. Playing with myself doesn’t measure to this amount of want and need. Just his kissing has me aching for more. A door shuts and locks, my back is pushed against a wall.  One of his hands grip my bottom, squeezing it. The other softly caresses my chin, in a firm but gentle squeeze he moves my face away from his. Slowly trailing kisses along side my jaw, he pulls me closer. The bulge in his pants calls out my name. I grind my pelvis along his erection, groaning the whole time. Kevin’s teeth find my ear and nibble with enough pressure to make me cry out.  Next thing I know we are on the bed with Kevin on top of me. My legs are still wrapped around him as he slides a hand inside my shirt, his other hand joins and soon I’m in only a bra and jeans. I lost my sandals somewhere along the journey to his bedroom. There’s some movement on the bed before a click and light illuminating the room. Kevin crawls back on top, with a leg on each side of my hip bones eating up my body in his gaze. Those hazel eyes sparkle, trailing up and down in slow, unhurried fashion.  “Willow...” There’s uncertainty in there, almost like he knows. It is Kevin though, and he is a watcher. Unknowing to other people, Kevin stays quiet but sees everything around us. Just his conversations prove it. No one else caught on or doesn’t care, but he knows. “How do you know?” “I just know.”  Not wanting any other ways to defect me, my arms move from my sides and slither up Kevin’s stomach. Inch by inch his shirt creeps up as my fingers glide along his abs. Our eyes never break from each other. Only when the shirt is pulled over his head we lose contact. Once his gaze penetrates my own again, do I speak. “I’m sure, Kevin.” Quickly our mouths are dancing again and in one quick movement my bra is snapped and off. His tongue and lips break away once more, slithering down my neck to the crevice between my breasts. Watching him dance around sends thrills all along my body, my harsh breathing has returned, but disappears underneath Kevin’s body. Still his mouth lowers until it has reached the button of my jeans. Kevin looks up asking for permission, I shake my head yes. Once the jeans are unsnapped and pulled down, Kevin follows suit for his own state of undress. Now with both of us naked, Kevin crawls up, one hand staying turning circles on my spot, another tangled up in my hair as we once again begin kissing. A tension builds up inside, so good, so much better than anything I have ever done to myself.  “It’s going to hurt. I am going to make it quick to hurt less, okay?” My response is bunch of blubbering incoherent words. A drawer slams, a packet is ripped and Kevin replaces his hand with something much larger. I swallow, hoping it doesn’t hurt too much. When my eyes lock with his, he pushes in. There’s a slight pop that goes unheard underneath my screams. The pain shoots out every orifice of my body, but I want to continue. Kevin reenters slowly and deeper this time, I let out another scream, but this time of ecstasy. The pace continues until the pounding inside is asking for more, causing me to scream at Kevin, “faster” and “harder.” Our bodies intermingle with sweat. The tension builds up, even larger this time. It asks for release, begging for it. I squeeze my pelvic bone creating more and more, getting me closer and closer. My legs are still wrapped around Kevin when I pull his face down to mine. Just as our mouths close together, it hits and his mouth catches my scream of release. Kevin follows two pumps later as the aftershocks send me into another downward spiral.  It takes a few minutes to calm down our breathing. Kevin still lays with his head between my shoulder and my neck. Giving a gentle bite, he pulls up and out. When he does, my eyes go wide. Blood. Not a lot, but not a small amount either. “It’s alright. Happens when you get cherry popped.” Kevin laughs while winking. I grab the pillow behind my head aiming it towards his face. This is the Kevin I know. The one who purposely pisses me off. “Come on, let’s take a shower.” Showering sore in hot steam helps with the aches. I didn’t realize how many muscles are used during sex. No wonder people say sexercise is the best work out. Kevin showered with me. When it came to cleaning the blood off, he saw my hesitation, taking the body wash out of my hands and lathering his own. As the soap bubbles and his fingers made contact causing my whole body to flinch, Kevin sent a flutter of kisses along my stomach as he massaged the area. Soon afterwards it no longer hurt and I was moaning from the touch. After that we both scrambled out of the shower like hell on our heels only to make it to the carpeted floor. This time, I was on top. For Two Days Somehow we both fell asleep on the floor after the fourth time, I think. Honestly, after the second time counting how many times Kevin was able to get it back up and in me was miraculous. We just kept going and going, and now the soreness has doubled, but it was worth it. So worth it.  My eyes flicker open with a small smile played across my face. Kevin has an arm behind his head and another draped across my stomach. His lips are slighted parted, but no noise comes out. Without a guarded face, his sleeping seems so calming. Just what is Kevin Gardley hiding?  Taking in the room, since there was a major distraction before, Kevin leaves everything bare. No momentums or pictures scatter or are placed in frames anywhere. Just random pieces of clothing here and there, mostly ours from tonight. Black bed sheets and a comforter take precedent in the room. A futon sits on the far wall, and a desk lap against the bed are the only furniture. There’s another door by the futon, which only can be a closet since there isn’t a dresser in here. It’s like he doesn’t even stay here, only to sleep. There isn’t even a television like most guys his age would have. One particular item stands out with blinking red lights. It sits on the bedside table reading to the world that it is well past one in the morning. “Shitttt!” I screech. Kevin jumps up from his sleep, looking around the room sleepily as I gather my clothes. The only item thus far found has been my bra. I laugh thinking if I went home only wearing that. Yeah, grandma wouldn’t hold such high hopes for Kevin after that. “What are you doing?” “Running a marathon. What does it look like?” “Ugh, Willow.” “Kevin, it is almost two in the morning. My grandma will flip if she sees me coming in.” Finally he gets up, help me in gathering clothes. He doesn’t put his own back on and instead just puts on basketball shorts with no shirt. Of course he catches me staring at him with only a bra on. I’m quickly snatched up and thrown on top of the bed. “What’s another thirty minutes?” He asks. I can’t find it in myself to argue.  We repeat the same scrambling process after we catch our breaths. My underwear go in my pocket because honestly putting them back on would be disgusting. The only items left to be found are my cell phone and shoes. We find one sandal on one of the steps and another in the hallway to the den. My cell phone, thank goodness, wasn’t really lost. Just sitting on the black leather couch. I remember texting grandma I was at Kevin’s. When I look at my phone, there’s only a text saying have fun. Yes, my grandmother can text. Which is cool, most of the time. After Kevin pulls out of his driveway, still only clad in shorts and sandals, I flip down the visor. With wide eyes I stare at my crazy sex hair and swollen lips. Note to self: If and when this happens again, bring a brush and some chap-stick. Those words catch me off guard. Will this happen again? Kevin doesn’t seem like the type for repeat offenders. Don’t think about it Willow, that’s what this was all about. In the end, I know sometime this week it will haunt me in my thinking process. One day I will wonder and keep wondering until I get my answer.  Not halfway home Kevin speaks. “What happened?” It’s hard to say what the right answer to that question would be, since there are plenty of what happened moments tonight, but what Kevin is really asking is why I changed my mind. Taking his eyes off the road, he glances in my direction. Call me crazy, but something about his current demeanor says he will understand anything I have to say. Or maybe grandma is just getting into my head. Either way, I answer. “My mom gave my grandmother full guardianship.” I was right. His eyes don’t hold the pity look everyone else has, they just accept it for face value.  “Your mother is a bitch.” So much venom in those words, yet they ring true. It’s nothing I could ever say, but Kevin isn’t me and he just did. “Yeah.” I let out a bitter laugh. The one thing I was trying to forget earlier plagues my thoughts. Why, why and why?  Kevin parks a few houses down so his loud machine doesn’t wake my grandmother up. He offers to walk me but I point out his state of undress and the rumor mill if anyone sees him walking me home like that. Let’s not try to make this obvious, shall we? “Willow.” Kevin catches my arm as I exit. I look up with questioning eyes. “Tomorrow?”  Biting my lower lip to hide the smile, I say, “Yeah, I think I can pencil you in.” **** She is trying to kill me. Really, she is. Grandma isn’t even allowed to legally drive anymore, and here she is riding cars asses because they are driving to slow. We are going fifteen over the speed limit.  So, why are we driving around in the next town? Grandma had to get her planting soil from the nursery over here because the nursery in our town isn’t good enough.  “Did you have fun last night?” Luck was on my side last night, grandma had been snoozing away when I came home. I was even able to sneak in a late night shower. Going to bed full of sex and sweat may sound steamy, if I was going to bed with Kevin. But, I was in my own bed, which has been sex free for seventeen years. No need to taint it.  “Yeah, we just watched movies.” “Did it help take your mind off things?” She asks with more concern. Oh did it. “Yeah, I really didn’t think about it.” At all.  “Good, I am glad. See, Kevin is a good boy. Ya just gotta give him a chance.” Grandma pats my leg. “Come on! Move faster, the day is a wasting.”  Yeah, I am hoping I live to see tonight.  We make it back three hours later, alive and unharmed. Pulling the old cadillac into the driveway, grandma hops out, and when I mean hop it is a literal translation so she can reach for her walker.  “Get the bags will ya, honey?” I blow out a deep breath. They are bags alright. Three twenty pound bags full of soil and organic plant feed.  Just as I reach the trunk, and pry it open with a screwdriver (don’t ask), someone calls out my name. Someone, named Kevin. My smiles almost drops when I see he isn’t alone, but with Charlie. So much for just the two of us tonight.  The two approach from Charlie’s truck as I plaster on a fake smile.  Really I do try hard and focus on both their presences approaching, but Kevin is just so...there, taking up all the space in my mind. With his confident, shut off from the world walk, the way his v-neck shirt shows his lean abdomen but is tight on the muscular arms. He doesn’t adorn glasses today, which makes it much harder to shut off my screaming libido as his eyes eat mine up. Desire is written all over them and just knowing I do that to him even after all the times last night, is yelling at me to jump his bones here and now. Instead, I grip the trunk as tight as possible to keep my hands to myself.  “What are you doing?” Charlie reaches me first. Kevin sends a secretive smile my way. In response, need pools between my legs.  I have to clear my throat a few times to answer. Kevin covers up his laugh with a fake cough. “Um, getting these bags to the garden.” My shaky hands make it hard to point the exact direction, so I lean on my head nodding skills instead.  “We’ll help.” Moving out of the way, Charlie reaches in first with Kevin just behind. They each grab a bag leaving one for me. When I reach in a hand tickles across the back of my thigh. My eyes snap wide. Turning around quickly, Kevin is already only one step behind Charlie towards the side of the house. That was definitely not my imagination. Or was it? Nope, I felt it. Oh did I. Grandma is directing the boys where to put the bags when I finally approach huffing and puffing. Charlie takes sympathy on me and takes the bag out of my arms.  “Honey, you okay? You been walking a bit stiff today.” Oh God. The blood drains out of my face for a good minute before my mind plays catch up, yelling to come up with an excuse. “Yeah, I think I might have slept wrong. My back is killing me.” “Alright. Go grab some lemonade and some aspirin.”  When Charlie enters grandma in a conversation, I look to Kevin expecting him to be laughing. His face says otherwise. It’s blank, but there’s a small emotion playing on it. Close to concern, I think. Without being able to tell him I am fine in words, I wink hoping he gets the point. Obviously, I am sore today, but nothing my body cannot handle. Besides, desire will win out either way.  After the lemonade and pills a shower calls my name. Once that is done and in clean clothes, I approach the kitchen as an older, raspy voice echoes. “She looks to be getting more muscular. Do you know if Willow is working out Charlie?” “I don’t think so ma’am.” My pace quickens after that.  Grandma sits on the wooden table, with Kevin and Charlie on each side.  “You guys ready?”  “Go on you three. Have some fun.” She shoos us out the door, waving until we get into the car. Charlie drives up to Kevin’s home, without Mandy being present. Something about this situation is off. It gets answered when Kevin and I climb out, but Charlie stays yelling out a thanks before driving off.  “Okay, what was that?” Kevin continues walking up the stairs into his house, leaving no choice but to follow. “Mandy’s parents have date night. They needed an excuse and cover up story.” Kevin shrugs like he is doing his friend a favor. “Ah, and does he know you are screwing his girlfriends best friend?” I shut the door, only to be scooped and pressed with my back against it. Pulling his mouth towards mine we do our rounds of kissing, moaning and hardly breathing.  “Food now or later?” He asks in between pecks. “Definitely later.”  With his question answered, no more talking is necessary.    Female Lingo Monday rolls around. With Mandy and I still on the outs I didn’t expect Charlie to still be picking me up, but there he was bright and early in the morning. Morning classes were boring except for the pop quiz in history. Yesterday had been study day. Kevin, no matter the convincing techniques, was not able to persuade me to hang out. Mostly, I did study, but at some points my mind would wander and think about who he chose for Sunday’s conquest. Was it Clarissa? Internally, I was kicking myself for even conjuring up those thoughts in the first place. The studying did help with acing the quiz, though.  At lunch Lucky approaches more giddy than normal, throwing his arm over my shoulder as per usual, he cannot keep the happy glow from his face. Finally, I give in. “Okay, who is she and when can I meet her?”  “Friday. Party at my house.”  “Okay, I was kidding, but who is the girl? We take a seat at the lunch table. I can’t help but wonder if Clarissa and Trina will keep their comments to themselves today. Especially if Kevin was with her yesterday. No matter how many times I tell myself to stop thinking like that, it’s the truth of the matter. Kevin and I hooked up for the weekend. He never made any promises of more days and not to hookup with other girls. Therefore, I would rather not play ignorant to the situation and be told the truth upfront. That’s assuming if Kevin would tell me. “Hello. Anyone home?” Lucky taps my forehead. I swipe his hand away giggling,  “Sorry, moment of brain relapse. Continue.” “There is no girl. Just a party at my house Friday.” “Okay.” I bite into my sandwich. Lucky and Luke look at me like I’ve got two heads. “What?” “In female lingo, okay has many different meanings.” Luke explains.  This causes me to roll my eyes. “My okay means, okay I will be there.” “Whoop, whoop!” Luke and Lucky high five, then turn to Herman to include him on their little man celebration.  “Awe, so cute.”  Tingles spread down my spine, my Kevin radar is going off, notifying me he is nearby. Looking down to avoid looking around is the best solution. It works until he takes a seat, right next to Clarissa. What’s worse is the way she inches closer to him, whispering in his hear. Dread spreads, making me nauseous.  “So, last night was fun.” She definitely didn’t try to keep that a whisper. It’s like the whole table freezes at her words. Avoiding their direction altogether, I look up from discarded sandwich to find Charlie scrunching his eyebrows in my direction. He looks at Kevin, then back at me, no longer scrunching them but raising them in question. My mouth pops open just enough, to where realization hits. Charlie knows about us. He knows and he is not happy that Clarissa and Kevin are still hooking up too. Oh man. “Are you going to eat that?” Lucky points to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich missing one bite. “Go at it.” “So are you going for sure on Friday, Willow?” Mandy asks. I look up at Charlie trying to decide whether or not he told her. As he flicks his head to the left, it calms me down a bit. Yelling at Mandy for dating a guy who slept around and then going and being one of those girls with his best friend, is way more than hypocritical. It would be like pointing my own “I told you so” back at my face. “Willow?” She tries again. “Damn girl. You are all spaced out today.” I try laughing it off to convince them there is nothing wrong. “Scatter brains, what can I do? And to answer your question, yes.” “Cool, want to get ready together? Maybe we can find you a hot date for the Halloween Dance.”  “Uh yeah. Sounds good.” “Psh, like she can get a hot date.” That girl, really that girl. Trying to be the bigger person, I stay quiet this time not even bothering to look in that direction but keeping my focus on Mandy. The comebacks to Clarissa before were because of her unidentified bitchiness to me, now I know if I snap it will be because of Kevin. Who, honestly, probably isn’t worth it. Tell that to the pain below, though.  I stay quiet on the ride home. It would have been too obvious if I refused a ride. This past weekend I wanted a distraction and got it, maybe that’s why he called me over on Sunday. He knew what happened. Man, why did I have to go and tell him? Mandy doesn’t even know yet.  “Are you really going to party on Friday?” “Why doesn’t anybody believe I will go?” I growl in frustration. Seriously though, Lucky and Luke asked at least ten times during lunch if I was still going.  “Because you have never before.” True. “I said I would go. That means yes in my book.”  It’s been hard, but doable not looking at Kevin all day. Even now, with only two feet separating us, my stare has been out the window with my back to him. Kevin makes a sharp u-turn, turning away from my house and back into town. “Where are you going?”  He doesn’t answer. Inner fury wins out, forcing me to face him. A knife, dagger or bullet couldn’t unveil the mask he wears.  “Kevin, take me home.” Still, no answer. His foot presses on the gas pedal harder, our bodies are pushed back from the force as he races through town, passed his gates only to stomp on the brakes flying me forward, in front of his house.  Calmly, he takes the keys out of the ignition and gets out. I watch as he swaggers in no hurry to his front door, unlocking it and leaving it open as he disappears inside.  Scrambling out, even more irritated before I walk through the foyer to find him sitting in the den. With legs kicked up and the remote in his hand he seems like nothing is to bother him. “Are you going to stand there all day or sit down?” The nerve. “I want to go home. Now.” “Shouldn’t have taken the ride home then.” “Whatever, Kevin.” That’s the word females use when they are done arguing and feel depleted, Luke would say. “I’ll call Charlie.” Kevin is up so fast, if he were a normal person, he would have gotten dizzy. “What do you want from me, Willow? You knew the rules coming into this.” What a mistake that was, I wish I could say. Being honest though, it wasn’t. Whether or not his intention was to make me feel better about my situation and myself, it did. This whole weekend did. Sad, but true. “Willow, look at me.” It was no easy task removing my fake gaze at my phone to Kevin, because the fear that nothing is in his eyes scares me the most. As if in slow motion, my eyes flicker up and up until meeting his. They are empty shells of coldness.  “Are you going to answer me?” “What do you want me to say? That everything is fucking peachy with this situation? Why did it have to be Clarissa of all people Kevin? You know that skank will throw this in my face, you know she will give me hell for this.” Still, nothing flickers in his eyes. It’s hopeless. “Look at us, we can’t even get along together. This was a mistake. This whole weekend should not have happened.” Even though the words don’t ring an ounce of truth, the fear that one move and somehow we would end up sleeping together. Kevin would find that as a way of it beings okay. Which it isn’t, not with Clarissa. Not with Kevin sleeping with other girls, but especially not Clarissa. I keep reminding myself that I came into this knowing everything, it’s my own fault. Yet, part of the blame falls on Kevin. It’s a toss up if that is fair to him or not.  Charlie comes fifteen minutes later. The gate was left open and I didn’t want to be seen walking out of Kevin’s home from the town. More rumors about my family don’t need to be spread. He doesn’t say anything when I get in. He didn’t say anything but, “I’m on my way,” when I called for a ride. He doesn’t have to. I messed up. “Don’t tell Mandy, please.” I whisper. “I won’t.” Charlie takes a deep breath, offering a brief glance before turning back to the road. “You shouldn’t have gotten mixed up with him.” “I know, trust me.” “I don’t think you really do Willow.” He sounds so disappointed. In me or in Kevin? “What are you trying to say Charlie?” “Kevin is just different. We all have our issues and deal with them differently. Kevin does his dealing by never getting into relationships where people can love him. Friendships are even hard for him. Out of all of our friends, Kevin tells me the most. Which isn’t much to begin with. Willow, Kevin needs someone to fight for his love, to fight for him in general.” “Well, Clarissa can have the job. He clearly goes back to her anytime he feels an itch he needs to scratch.” “Did you even ask him if he did screw her?”  Well, not in so many words. Charlie takes my silence as a no.  “Charlie, it’s Kevin.” “That’s my point. It is Kevin, and Kevin may say one thing, but his actions read otherwise.” Those are Charlie’s parting words before stopping at my house. With nothing left to say, I mumble a confused and awkward thanks. Take that, Charlie Tuesday and Wednesday I waited for Charlie to get out of school for a ride home. During those forty five minutes, I would duck out of class early and go straight to the library. Studying is something I know how to do, dealing with boys is whole other situation.  Sitting next to Kevin in class always left me pent up in frustration, but also need. The boy oozes sex appeal, and I am not immune to it. In front of our friends we acted normal, we throw words at each other with underlying meanings while everyone else thinks we are just at each other’s throats as normal. I haven’t slapped him in the back of the head though. Just the thought of us touching in anyway sends shivers all over my body. How can one weekend with him become so addicting? It isn’t until I get home on Wednesday that grandma notices something is off. “Sit down, child.” I do. She walks around the dusty couch, taking a seat on the coffee table directly across from me. “Okay, is it your mom?” I want to lie, really, but she will see right through it. So, taking a deep breath I ask a question that’s never been asked before. “How long did you know grandpa before you knew you were in love with him?” A faint smile crosses her face, her eyes zero in on the roof, lost in a memory. “Oh child, I knew the first day we met.” “Will you tell me?” Eagerly she nods. I don’t know why it’s never occurred to ask her before. “We were sixteen and in school. The war was raging on and I was an anti-war protestor. Your grandfather was waiting for the day for him to be drafted. It was 1941, the first year of the US officially entering. Oh honey, we despised each other at school, making snide and rude comments from across the hall. We created our own war in school, just he and I. When he left to go fight, I always checked up on him through his parents. He came home injured, did you know that?” “No, was he alright?” Grandma sadly nods. “A gunshot wound to the arm, but his head wasn’t all there." Using an index finger, she taps her temple. "It took years for him to get over the nightmares. I stayed by his side the day he came home until the day he was declared mentally sane. We got married a few months later.” “Did you ever talk about what happened?” “Willow, men at war have a hard time. If they talk, it’s tidbits here and there and you don’t ask. It’s not easy for them to talk about it. Creating art through wood was his outlet, and at first a hobby became a career for him. A career he loved and passed to your father.” The oven dings. Grandma hobbles up, patting my shoulder on the way. “Making my baked mac n cheese. Pre-heat is ready.” She continues on to the kitchen, still leaving unclarity to the situation. **** Thursday morning Lucky and Herman walk over to Charlie’s car. I love Herman’s hugs, they are so warm and comforting, always making my morning. Today doesn’t disappoint. “You’re coming tomorrow right?” He asks in that deep monotone voice.  “Of course. You going to protect me from the creeps?” “That’s my job.” Lucky bounces up, taking me from Herman’s arms into his. Swinging me around from behind, Lucky continues in circles until I have to scream at him stop. A dizzy spell makes me stick out my arms like a drunk person trying to walk. Hands grip my waist from behind, without thought I relax against the body behind. It’s familiar scent, the familiar muscles caressing every inch of my body bringing it higher and higher. Why can’t things be simple for us?  Kevin keeps his hold on me, even when Clarissa and Trina join. Either none of our friends take notice, or think it’s natural for us to be like this. Which it isn’t. Kevin has never been the touchy feel-y type in public that I’ve seen. “We need to talk.” Warm breath caresses the back of my neck sending shivers along my body. Turning just a bit, Kevin notices the effects he has on me. His laughing eyes tell me we aren’t over, not a by a long shot. Letting out a deep breath, “okay.” “I’ll take you home today.”  “Okay.”  The bell rings, Kevin and I move apart from each other. I instantly miss the warmth of his touch. Knowing that thinking about this all day will distract me, I chose not to during my classes or even at lunch. I pay full attention in all my classes, even physics where my nemesis sits right next to me, even when Lucky puckers his lips after class and I slap them away.  Not until we are heading towards nowhere in particular, is the facade dropped. It took me awhile, but I realize that I have been acting like the jealous girlfriend, without a right to do so. My eyes graze over Kevin as he drives with one arm, leaning his head on his other on the window. Looking so relaxed and carefree, it’s a no wonder I went for him in the first place. His personality washed on me this past weekend, helping me to forget and continuing to forget those feelings of unwanted, and hurt. He helped me get over my own stupid pity party. “I’m sorry.” I blurt out, before losing my nerve. Kevin doesn’t say anything, just pulls over into a deserted road, parking about another mile inland. Climbing out of the truck, he grabs a blanket from the backseat placing it in his truck bed. Lowering the hatch in the back, he nods his head to join him. With no other choice, I follow suit until we are laying on our backs staring at the blue sky. A comfortable silence washes over. We stayed like that for almost an hour, not talking, just breathing in the day air as the sun crossed across the sky heading more westward. Some trees scatter around and in the light breeze the swaying of the leaves, and the sound of birds chirping every so often fill in the quiet.  “I feel like I can breathe out here.” With his arms behind his head and eyes closed, it’s hard to telling the meaning behind his words. “Do you feeling suffocated in town?” His eyes pop open, almost vulnerable. It throws me back a bit, unsure where this conversation is going. “Sometimes.” Pulling up and forwards, with my legs together I lean my head on knees and wrap my arms around them. Did you ever ask if he did screw her? “Did you have sex with Clarissa on Sunday?” I knew I had to be specific, because he has had sex with her before. When I glance back at Kevin, everything is shut off again. “I hate when you cut yourself off.” Still nothing fazes him. This conversation is digging a hole fast.  “Yes.” Crap. The blow hurts, and the emotions swirling inside are confusing.  “If it had been any other girl, would you be acting this way?” “Honestly, I don’t know.” Slowly the sky turns to an orange purple color. Soon the sun will set and the moon and stars will light up the sky.  “I can’t promise you a relationship, Willow.” Pursing my lips, I look back at Kevin. Even with his guarded disguise, emotional turmoil shows on his face. Making a bold move, I climb over to him, straddling my legs on each side of his stomach. “There.” I point to his eyes. “You cut yourself off from everyone, even Charlie, but I see it Kevin. I see the pain and suffering, the vulnerability and the want. What I don’t understand is why we,” my index finger stabs his chest first, then my own, “happened so fast and we can’t learn to control it.” “You can’t control everything in this world. You may be able to control your grades, who and when you go out, what you say, but not all things are controllable.” Leaning in to where we are only inches apart, “That is a lame excuse for not being able to control your urges. If you wanted too, you would.” Pushing back in attempt to gain some distance doesn’t work. Just being this close to him is sending my heart pounding, my insides yearning for skin to skin contact. This is fogging up my intentions, so I try to climb off. Kevin applies pressure to my legs. “Wait.” His eyes plead with me, I give in and stay in the current position. “I come from a family of cheaters. My mom and dad have cheated on each other before, but my uncle takes the cake. He cheated with a married woman on his fiancé, resulting in a child. That’s why my parents are gone every weekend, gone visiting his child he never got to see before his death.” Grabbing his chin tight, I force Kevin to look at me.  “Because they cheat doesn’t mean you will.” “No.” His lips squished together look so cute as he tried to talk. “It doesn’t mean I won’t either. I won’t sleep with Clarissa anymore.” I shake my head. “Not good enough.” So we come to a stand still. Gold flecks mixed with green and brown stare at me in curiosity. My brown eyes gaze back in solidarity. “I am not good with ultimatums.” “I am not good with being second best.” It’s like Charlie’s voice popped in my head, fight for him Willow. Charlie said those things to me in the car because he believed I wouldn’t be strong enough to fight for Kevin, yet here I am, fighting for what I want. “Charlie knows. He said you needed someone to fight for you, and may have insinuated that it might not be me. If you believe that Kevin, I will let you go and have your fun.” Kevin swallows. “And if I don’t?” “Then you give up the other girls. No relationship status, but monogamy is a must. Just you and me, we will figure everything else out on the way, but I need to trust you Kevin.” I let my words hang in the air for a moment and climb off. Kevin allows it this time. I figure if he needs a few days to decide, then he can have them. After all, we have only been friends for a month now. Enough to know how each other works, enough to know we like to set each other off.  The truck shakes and groans in protest as Kevin jumps off. He doesn’t pace, just stands there with his back to me. Hands in his hair, I can see the deep breathing pattern as his back inflates and deflates with every gulp of air. I open my mouth, but no words come out. What can I really say? I’ve put my foot down on the situation, now it’s all his decision. With all this time to myself, what if he decides that he won’t go without the other girls? Then we are back to square one, and he will be booted from my life. My mother and best friend have already pushed me to side, I won’t let the guy I have feelings for do the same, treating me like a rag doll he can use when he feels necessary. I deserve better than that, and he deserves a chance.  “You don’t ha-” “Okay.” Kevin turns around with determination set into every feature. “Okay?” I ask wearily. “You and me, only you and me.” Slowly my feet drag until the edge of the truck. Kevin holds out his arms, I jump into them sliding down until we are face to face. Grabbing my hair in one hand as the other holds my body weight, Kevin pushes our noses together. The sincerity in his actions makes me smile, I try not jumping around a like a giddy little girl. “You have to be patient with me Willow.” I nod, still smiling like an idiot. Maybe that’s the story grandma was talking about. She and grandpa never got along, but she knew there was something worth fighting for in him, so she stuck by his side even after his temporary insanity. Maybe all along, she knew about Kevin and I, sharing the parts where they would effect me the most. Whatever her reason, I now understand that it will be a continuous fight between Kevin and I, but if I never decided to fight for him, then how do I know what might happen in the future for us? Our lips touch, creating that explosion of electricity between us. We both are smiling and laughing between pecks until Kevin grows serious. His scrutiny envelopes me, I cannot look away. As our lips touch again, they are less hurried and more serious, more tender, deeper than any kiss Kevin has offered before. Take that, Charlie!   No Rest for the Wicked “What’s up, sleepy head? Using your brain too much last night?” More like my body, and then my brain later which left very little time for sleep. “Nothing, just up late studying last night.” I try covering a yawn, but it’s no use. I have been sleepy all day, even as we head to our last class and I slept almost all through lunch, only awake enough to see Kevin took a seat next to Mandy. It made me smile, and then my eyes closed again.  “You better be awake for this party tonight.” Lucky turns around, walking backwards. Kevin stays to my left as we laugh when Lucky keeps hitting people from behind.  “I will, I will.” I wave a nonchalant hand at him. “Sooooo, did Mandy find you a hot date yet?” Uh. Not looking at Kevin, I shrug. “Not yet.” A hand pinches my butt hard enough for me to screech out. I swap at Kevin’s head. He ducks, just barely. “Ass.” “No hot date?” He arches an eyebrow. It’s hard to decipher if he is teasing or really upset.  “I knew it!” Lucky’s voice booms and other stragglers stop to stare. Kevin walks up pulling Lucky into a headlock. Other’s see the display and move on, while I stay rooted to the spot. How would Lucky know? Does that mean everyone knows? Ah crap, Kevin is going to flip and we just got back on good terms. “Shut it, man. If you value your life.” Lucky pulls up his arms in surrender. Looking between Kevin and I, he can’t resist the urge to grin, or waggle his eyebrows.  “Let him go, we’ll be late.” I act bored. “Listen to your girl.” He is asking for it, really asking for it.  “Lucky, seriously..” Other words fail me. It’s hard to contrive a good explanation at just what Kevin and I are, because we definitely aren’t in a relationship nor are we allowed to see other people. So that means, “we are just dating.” “And no one needs to know right now, okay?” Kevin adds. “I’ll keep you my dirty little secret.” Lucky singsongs, it’s a struggle not to laugh at his antics. In the end I fail miserably. We finally make it to class, Lucky still whistling that stupid song and Kevin stiff as a board. Personally, I find it funny. So when we take our seats in the back, I tell Kevin to relax. He gives me that don’t even start look. Patience, right. Only the second day and he is asking for my patience.  “Miss Hart!” The voice booms, startling me awake. Mr. Wilcox stands at the front of the class, a pen in his hand not looking too happy. “Care to explain to me just how you ace all your tests, but can’t seem to stay awake during my class?” Oh the response I can give him. You know something along the lines of I study outside the class, hence the reason I am tired, but that’s just asking for more trouble than I already am in. Even Kevin gives a slight warning by squeezing my knee. Lucky is no help, just waggling his eyebrows. Wilcox awaits an answer, impatiently tapping his pen against the cheap desk. “Sorry, won’t happen again.” Satisfied, he turns around and continues writing notes on the overhead.  “Keep me awake.” I whisper. Kevin’s idea of keeping me awake is to rub his hand all along my thigh. From the tip of the knee to just below the sweet spot. Yeah, it works.  The last bell rings, and freedom and a nap call my name. At least, I thought they did. My legs are barely working at this point, and I can’t even keep my head up to look around.  “So tired.” I groan, to no one in particular. Lucky waits for Kevin and I, bouncing around in his usual hyper self. “You down, Kevin?” “Yeah, we will meet you guys over there.”  Too confused and exhausted to ask what they mean, I just raise my hand. Lucky approaches, but Kevin steps in front blocking Lucky and facing me. “Want a piggy back ride?” I want to laugh at how immature it sounds, but walking all the way to the parking lot seems like a task in itself.  “Uh-huh.” Kevin hands over his bag to Lucky, turns around and lifts me up to his back. Lucky follows along to the side. My head literally feels like a hundred pounds so I let if fall against Kevin’s back. “Why aren’t you going to your class?” My words are slightly mumbled. “Everyone is skipping their last classes. We are going to go set up, brainiac. And guess what? You are helping too!” I groan, swatting at Lucky. “Stop being so energized around me, it’s depleting me more.” Kevin’s car alarm beeps. Our friends voices surround us, but not even the touch from Kevin is keeping me awake any longer. He places my body in the front seat, even buckling my seatbelt. My head falls to the glass window, with a just a centimeter of eye opening to see what’s going. Everyone is talking, Kevin says something to Charlie and Charlie looks in my direction with wide eyes. Hmm, I wonder if he just barely told his best friend. Mine doesn’t even know so there’s no reason to be angry, and honestly I am not. Shutting my eyes for good this time, Kevin hops in the car blasting the AC. The cold keeps me in the state between knocking out completely and awareness. Where you cannot keep your eyes open, nor can you turn your brain off. It sucks.  “Come here.”  Kevin waves his arm that is resting on the center console. Moving over, I place my head in the crook of his right arm as he uses the left to drive. Fingers start running through my wavy hair, massaging my scalp. “Mmm, feels good.” The drive to our destination doesn’t take long. Soon Kevin is ordering food and a iced coffee, something strong. “Here.” I take the coffee sitting up partially and taking a sip before going back to my earlier position. It feels better that way. “How long did you stay up last night?” “Passed three.” Kevin mumbles something about Lucky having good reason to call me a brainiac. The fingers stop moving and the arm slides underneath my head. We must be close to Lucky’s. I sit up, taking the coffee with me and draining all of its contents just as we arrive.    *** The guys are playing Tetris with the furniture. No joke. Lucky said his parents would freak if anything got scratched. So they each volunteered to help move all the stuff into one spare bedroom. They didn’t account for how much stuff would actually be in the house though. Mandy and I were put on cleaning duty. Thank God, Trina and Clarissa stayed in the kitchen getting the drinks ready as we swept and wiped away.  “So, can we talk?” I grab the swifter wet jet, waving my hand in a continue gesture. Making eye contact will be hard, especially since I am just not quite yet ready to tell her about Kevin. “Look, I am sorry, okay?” With my back still to her, she sighs and continues taking a deep breathe going on with one of her Mandy rants. “I was jealous at first, at how all the guys took a liking to you. It was me who is with Charlie and there you are walking with Luke and Lucky comes swiping in hugging you, only to be followed by Herman.” Lie, lie, lie. “Mandy, your attitude started long before the first day of school.” The wet jet makes that eery noise when spraying the liquid unto the floor. Spray, push, spray, push. Making a pattern of cleaning seems a lot easier than having a conversation about this. Odd, because it’s easy to talk to Kevin about my mom, but I can’t even face Mandy about why she suddenly is jealous of me, of all people.  “Will you look at me please?” The wooden broom stick slams against tile flooring, giving off that crackling sound like something broke, but really didn’t. I turn around, facing Mandy. Standing there with one hand on her tilted hip, the other with a white knuckled grip to the broom, she looks ready to fly off as the wicked witch of west. Only with blonde hair. “You are so perfect, Willow. Look at Willow, she’s so smart. Look at Willow how she can hold her alcohol but never parties. Look at Willow taking care of her best friend and then having her grandmother cook hangover remedies. You never do anything wrong, you never say the wrong thing, it’s so intimidating to be your friend sometimes.” “Are you kidding me?” Looking at Mandy only stirs an already boiling pot of anger. Standing there like I am the one causing problems when all I have done is sit there and try and be there for her. Sort of. These past two weeks, I can be honest and say we both have not been the greatest friends to each other. Not trusting Charlie or Kevin at first was the initial problem, but it became clear that Mandy didn’t see that as our drifting excuse. Funny now I trust both of them more than Mandy.“I am so far from perfect it’s scary.” Walking slowly towards Mandy, I let her know just what the real problem has been. One that should have been clear from the get-go, but I was too stunned that my friend would stoop to such levels to gain such attention. “But let’s talk about why our friendship is dying. You want to fit in Mandy, always have, always will. You pretended to gag and laugh at Charlie’s known behavior but flirt with him the first chance you got. Now look at the happy couple, but wait you are pissed because I became their friends too. The attention was off you and on me, for one reason and one reason only.”  Near nose to nose, Mandy doesn’t back down, which I give her credit for. “And what’s that, oh smart one?” “Because I am not fake. When I laugh it’s genuine, when I hug Lucky, Herman, Luke or Charlie it’s because they are my big teddy bears, when I fight with Kevin it’s because I fucking care. You slept with Charlie to gain popularity points, I hang out with those guys because they are real people with happiness, sadness, contentment and quietness. They don’t give a shit about money or their looks, which is why they hang out together and which is why I am their friend.” An evil look takes over Mandy’s face. Slowly, she creeps up to me. “So is true then that you think Kevin will choose you over every girl in this town, or the neighboring towns that he has already had knowing you for what? Only a month?” She purses her lips in what she thinks as a total slap to the face. Which only has me laughing, and then laughing harder. When had our friendship taken such a shitty turn? When had Mandy become such a bitch? Mandy, not looking too pleased starts spitting off curses. “You are right, I used Charlie but he uses me too. For the sex. Uh-oh cover your virgin ears, Willow, wouldn’t want your perfect soul to go to hell for hearing just how hot and steamy we get every night possible.” Ha, Kevin and I go anytime possible. “But back to the Kevin scenario. Word from Clarissa is he just had her over on Sunday.” Knew that, still she continues thinking that all of this is punching some kind of hole in my gut. In actuality, I’ve learned that in the last week that most of this stuff has happened, nothing really hurts like a mother leaving her daughter after raising her for thirteen years. Almost makes a person feel invincible to other emotional wounds, almost. “Clarissa will be the one to lock him down, and you will soon be left as the loner Willow without any friends. Too bad, so sad.”     CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.   “Great speech Mandy, can we all hear it this time around so your friend Clarissa here can catch up.”  Charlie saunters into the living room at total ease. The hallway entrance he just came through holds a throng of bodies. Luke and Herman, look at each other and duck out, both not really ones for confrontation. My eyes wander past an excited Lucky, past a red faced Clarissa, or genuinely shocked Trina. They land right on my target, whom is staring back at me. So much rage and desire run through me, even the look I send Kevin knocks his defenses down a bit. He feels it too, the time for the air to come clean, the time for us to all face the facts that people in this room are a lot shadier than what they led on. It pisses him off, so much so his jaw clenches. Before the logical part of my brain kicks in, I take a few steps in that direction only to stop myself. People don’t need to know our business, especially since Mandy aired out enough today.  “Charlie, baby, I can explain.” Mandy’s sweet talking voice exclaims. Charlie spreads his arms wide, laughing a humorless laugh, looking just like Kevin does when he shuts down. Interestingly, Charlie wears evidence of hurt. Falling for Mandy is so easy, I am sure, that he never thought she would be one of those “girls”. Probably ruining him for future relationships. “Look, Clarissa told Trina and I that Kevin wanted a relationship with her, but Willow was saying bad things about her to Kevin. In result, it was just giving Clarissa a bad image. So Clarissa asked me today if I could get Willow to admit the things she saying in front of you. Baby, I lied about using you and all that other stuff. Don’t you see?” “Why would you need to lie? The truth is, I did use you for sex.” Charlie grabs Mandy’s face hard, pushing their lips together with enough pressure their teeth clank on impact loudly. “But now, I think I’ve satiated my need for the hopeless female.” “Baby-” “Hey Mandy. GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. You two also!” Charlie points in my direction, but then I turn around and see Trina and Clarissa making a beeline for the door, Mandy not too far behind. And then there was one female left, with no best friend and no mother, but that didn’t matter, because I have these guys.  When there’s a loud inhumane roar somehow coming out of Charlie’s body, the other four boys appear at his side. Kevin only offers a brief glance. I mouth the words go   to him. He nods, and the four of them disappear into the kitchen with all the alcohol.  Underestimated ch. 15 In the name of guy time, I walked home. Ten miles to be exact, in hot and humid weather. Not that I am complaining, okay yeah I really am. It was a bad idea to wear pants today, but at least they were loose enough to roll up just below my knees. Wearing shoes, now that was a smart idea. By the time I walked through the front door, sweaty and tired to the bone, grandma took one look at me, set a glass of water (more like slammed) in front of me at the table saying one word, “explain.” No use in lying to her, so she got the whole story. Even the cuss words and to my surprise, she didn’t flinch once. She just nodded her head the whole time like she understood what happened, and that she really expected it. When the entire story was finished, she took a seat across the table and looked at me, really looked at me. “How do you feel about all this?” “You sound like a therapist.” “Willow.” She chided. Okay, okay. It’s clear she has something up her sleeve, so I go along. “Honestly, I am mad and not mad at the same time.” True. “Mad about what specifically?” It takes a moment of pause to dig deep inside and find out if Mandy upset me because of how she treated me or how she used Charlie. In the end, I concluded that in all honesty, I wasn’t the least bit taken back about how our friendship ended. That says something, but I just don’t know what. So I told grandma, hoping for some clarification. Instead, I get another question. “Are you upset at how that girl used Charlie?” “Yes.” “And you figured it out, just too late?” “Yes.” She smiles. “Willow, I think you have known all along that the friendship between you and Mandy has been artificial, at best.” I open my mouth to argue that she was always there for me when I broke down about my dad and mom, but grandma raises her hand to shut me off. “Think about this way Willow, when did you always call Mandy?” “When I needed a distraction.” I say without pause. “But..” I did the same thing with Kevin, so is this thing with him artificial too? Or is it because I feel he is hiding something, deep and connected to me somehow and I want to know? “But what, dear?” I look into her pity gaze, wishing it wasn’t there and trying to decide just how to tell her my previous thoughts. “What’s the difference between Mandy and Kevin, if I called him last week to distract me?” She doesn’t answer right away, only points first to her chest and then her head. “You’ll see the difference one day.” Sliding back the chair, grandma reaches for her walker and heads towards the kitchen. Early dinner night because of knitting class. Just as she reaches the entrance, grandma pauses. “Remember what I said about Kevin being able to understand you more than you know?” “Yeah.” “Well, who invited whom first last Friday?” She doesn’t give me a chance to respond, just keeps walking through the kitchen. A few minutes later some pots and pans move around and chopping sounds follow. I stay glued to my chair.  It was Kevin who asked first.  **** Kevin called and said he’ll pick me up by nine. With grandma’s riddle, which is so unlike her to not give what she wants to say straight out, I thought long and hard about my friendship with Mandy. True, every time I felt suffocated and wanted to forget, I’d call her. We would raid her dad’s hidden stash of liquor and drink into oblivion, but other than that we shared few memories. The ice cream parlor is the only thing we always did together. Then again, the way Mandy always turned around to survey the room made more sense. She was always looking for an in, and found one with Charlie that day I left my phone. I caught on though, and she was thrown to the wolves. An outcast. No longer Charlie’s girlfriend, and no longer with our group. No doubt she will form some kind of bond with Clarissa over shared hatred of me, but the thing is, who really gives a shit? As the day progresses on, it’s quite clear, that I am not one suffering from this. I throw on a black halter top and some shorts after the shower, abruptly forgetting all about Mandy and her posse. The black halter dips low enough my back dimples peek out. With one stretchy, thin string cutting across mid back to hold up the girls in front. My jean shorts are rolled up high, not where my buttcheeks are showing, but enough to make a boy drool. More specifically, Kevin. I throw on some quick mascara and eyeliner and pink tinted lip gloss from MAC, leaving my hair down in it’s natural waves. Black strappy sandals complete the outfit, just as a horn honks outside. Grandma is already gone to her knitting club, every Friday night as usual.  I step outside only to stop shortly and quickly before continuing. Charlie awaits in his truck, alone. He gives me a long appreciative glance at my outfit, adding a whistle before driving on. We stay quiet for a little, but the anger against Mandy for treating Charlie like crap wins over.  “I’m sorry how she treated you, and that I didn’t learn about it until later.” Charlie chuckles. “What?” He shakes his head still laughing. “I asked Kevin if I could pick you up so I could say ‘thanks.’ He said you would blame yourself before I got the chance.” “That boy is too observant.” I grumble. “Yeah, he is.” Charlie checks out my outfit again adding a wink. The insinuation is not lost on me. “You are a good person, Charlie. I’m sorry I doubted you from the beginning when it should have been Mandy.” He pauses. “Can you do me a favor Willow?” “Sure.” Charlie’s eyes bore into my own, nothing other then determination lingers there. “Don’t give up on Kevin. We both underestimated the fight in you.” He gives a lopsided grin, pulling into the driveway of Lucky’s house. The party isn’t quite a party yet. These things don’t start until well past midnight, but the guys wanted to pre-game and get as much alcohol use as a possible before it’s all gone. Lucky swirled me around when I walked in. Herman gave me his big bear hug that I adore. Luke just gave me a normal side hug, but Kevin. Kevin ate me alive with his eyes. It literally stopped me in my tracks. The burn in them, it seriously made my shorts wet within two seconds of being there. And Charlie didn’t lie, Kevin observed every inch of my skin. Slowly perusing from head to toe, the shine in his eyes burned brighter and brighter until he finally pulled my arms to him. Lifting up my legs to wrap around his waist with one hand, and pulling my hair with the other, he starts walking us to an unknown destination. “We’ll be right back.” He says to no one in particular.  There’s a bunch of “uh-huh’s” and “sure’s” that follow.  “My hair.” It’s a weak protest at best. Golden flecks laugh at those words. “Don’t worry, you look better with sex hair.” Kevin locks the door to a guest room. It’s nothing like the ones in his house. Instead this only holds a bed and desk lamp on the ground. No couches, not very much room, but very homely and lived in. Setting me down on my back in no rush, Kevin crawls on top. My legs wrap around his waist again as his lips meet mine in soft, unhurried motions. My fingers find his back, caressing and squeezing, wanting him closer and closer. Our tongues finally meet, and even their dance today is the tango. Nothing fast, everything slow and nerve wracking. My need for him builds and builds, but Kevin does nothing to satisfy my thirst. His teasing kisses cause my pelvis to repeatedly rub against his hard on. I moan and moan, yet all of our clothes still remain on and our lips never stop touching. Kevin leisurely pulls away. Our accelerated breathing takes precedence over the speakers now playing music. Reaching out, Kevin caresses my left cheek. Just the notion has me closing my eyes in comfort more than anything else.  “Willow...Look at me.” I do. Shirtless, Kevin leans over starting to scatter kisses along my jaw and neck knowing just how much that turns me on, how much it makes me moan and yearn from more. I scratch at his back, asking for more but he shakes his head just as a soft peck lands on my shoulder. This tender side of Kevin during sex is new. Usually our sex is fast paced and hungry, but this one...we aren’t even close to being done. “We are going to make this one last long.” He whispers. Oh-oh. Long I can most definitely do. He nibbles on my ear, causing me to whimper. “Slow and unmeasured, Willow. Every time you will come close to exploding, I am going to pull out and make you start all over again.” “Oh God.” I croak. Kevin lifts himself back up, only leaning on his elbows this time and nowhere near touching me like I want. Our eyes meet, Kevin unguarded shows heat and longing, only turning me on more.  “You are beautiful, Willow. Remember that.” “Okay.” I rasp.  Those words didn’t sound like they came from me, but a starved lion waiting for her dinner. Eventually, she gets the longest, most delicious feed of her life. I like the way you move “What’s your favorite color?” I lay across Kevin’s naked chest. Some of his fingers interlock with my waves, twirling them around and sometimes teasingly pulling. His gaze is focused on the wisps of hair. “I know what you’re doing, but I’ll answer anyway. Gold.”  Leaning my head on my elbow, “why gold?” His eyes flicker towards mine. There’s an internal struggle in there. Kevin isn’t used to opening up, even justifying simple questions like what his favorite color is. Even though our sex life is great and today, for the first time we had passionate, toe curling love making, it still seems we fight more than we talk. I hold my ground, waiting. “It’s the color of my cousin’s eyes. What’s yours?” He quickly evades the oncoming question about which cousin. Simple enough to figure it out that it’s the child of his dead cheating uncle. “Hmm, can’t really say.” “If you had to choose.” “Purple.” Kevin lets loose a carefree laugh. I rest my chin just below his collar bone, enjoying just how that small enough answer made him loosen up a bit. “Why purple?” “Red and blue I like the most. If they mix, it creates purple.” I add sweetly. Kevin shakes his head with laughing eyes. “Leave it to you Willow, to make a favorite color so complicated.” “Hey!” Slapping his chest, I crawl to straddle him. “I am not a complicated person. In fact, I like to think I am simplified version of the female race.” Rough hands grip my waist, urging me to make small movements back and forth. The friction creates the build up of heat asking for more and more. I can never get enough of him, which is scary sometimes. What if he gets enough of me?  “You have such a one tracked mind.” I tease. The laughing eyes shut down. One hand leaves the comfort of my waist to cradle my face. Instinctually, I lean into the caress, sending fluttering kisses along the palm of his hand. “I won’t get tired of you Willow.”  He is the king of reading people. The hand continues to move backwards, playing with strands of hair again. Smoothly, he tugs my face so our lips can connect. Our movement is slow, full of unspoken words and emotions. Something is growing between us, and I like it, a lot. Just as we break for some air, Kevin pulls us back together, flipping our bodies to where he now leans over me. My hands do their usual searching and prodding, trailing from the muscles of his lower back up to the thick growing hair.  “Willow..” Soft whispers against my lips have my eyes fluttering open. Just half an inch away and the concern is palpable all over. “How are you doing?” My lips do not tremble with sadness, my heart doesn’t ache with unforgiving, but pain does ricochet inside, just not for myself. “I feel bad for Charlie. She did a number on him in just a month and now...” I trail off, because it goes without saying. Charlie is going to go back to how he was before, but now he won’t trust a single female in his path.  “Hey!” Fists pound against the door. “Are you two going to come join the festivities or what? The party is raging on without you!” Lucky’s booms over the pounding music. Kevin lets out a string of curses that have me cackling. “Shower first.” Picking me up, he walks us to the shower where we spend another forty five minutes memorizing each other’s bodies.  **** We emerge mostly dry. My hair now finger combed and my face without make up, minus the lip gloss I brought, Kevin holds my hand through the hallway. Just as we are met with dim lighting, the thump of music vibrating against the walls and throngs of bodies leaving very little wiggle room, Kevin turns around kissing my forehead. “Going to find Charlie. I’ll meet up with you later.” “Okay.” Just as he walks away, I notice the slight bulge in his back pocket where my underwear now sits. Hey, I told you before that I hate putting on used underwear. Just the thought sends the creepy crawly feeling all over.  Eventually the sight of Luke and Herman leaning against a wall near a DJ booth with Lucky behind that marked off by doggy dates, comes into view. Pushing past dancing bodies, and groups just standing and drinking in the middle of the designated dancing area, I reach the two. Luke’s shoulders drop in relief as Herman edges his away from the wall. A girl with short dark brown hair block’s the body view of Luke. When they both nod for me to join, the girl turns around. Nancy Jones. ASB president, leader of almost all the clubs at school and the most hyper, chipper girl you will ever meet. She also never shuts up.  “Hi Willow!” Nancy salutes with a red cup.  “Hey Nancy. You guys having fun?” I shoot Luke a look of hidden laughter, he shakes his head. Help me , he mouths.  “You guys want to dance?” Herman looks mortified at the offer, and Luke just about ready to say yes, suddenly changes his mind. When a cup appears in front of me full of juice, the answer is clear.  Kevin.  Only handing me the cup he nods at me and then his friends before disappearing into the massive bodies again. Tentatively taking a sip, the ratio of alcohol is strong but good.  “So Willow, you don’t come to parties very much. Like ever, and now you hang out with these guys? What’s the deal girl? It’s like you are finally opening your eyes to the world around you senior year!” While trying to formulate some sort of response, Luke and Herman start slipping backwards, both gurgling down their own concoctions, probably in unease.  “Yeah, they are my friends now.” I lamely reply.  Stepping closer to me, because Lucky has the base so loud from the house music that all the walls are thumping and my cup is vibrating from the sound waves, Nancy shouts near my ear a little too loudly. “So, what happened between you and Mandy? I never see you guys stuck to each other anymore. It’s like she and Charlie are attached at the hip.”  None of your business.  I can only offer a shrug, and try hard to come up with some lame excuse to get out of her line of vision. Looking around, trying to spot someone of more possible interest, I see Charlie. Staring at nothing particular, he leans on a beige wall next to a family picture, a cup in each hand.  “Hey Nancy?” “Yeah?” “Can you get me another drink?” The girl is gone so fast, all of us finally relax. Lucky starts playing the David Guetta song “Titatnium” when I pull Luke and Herman to the dance floor. While Luke dances along with me in the center of the dance floor where more people have seen to migrate, Herman stands perfectly still. Holding a now empty glass, his eyes are wide with fear. “Herman has a fear of public dancing.” Luke sashays behind me.  Moving my hips, careful not to spill the drink and cautious of not getting my toes stepped on, I work towards Herman. Taking the cup from his frozen hand, and grabbing the other I drag him back to Lucky’s booth. Hopping over the stupid doggy dates, Lucky bounces his head with headphones covering only one ear as he messes with music on his laptop. Low and behold, lays a bottle of tequila next to his feet. Snatching up the bottle, Lucky yells out “hey!” “Be right back, getting Herman drunk first.” I don’t know if he heard me, just fill up Herman’s glass with a shot. “Drink it.” He does. I fill it up again, adding the same command. Once this happens about five or six times, and Herman is no longer standing there like he has got a stick up his ass, I return the bottle to Lucky. He sends me a wink, I blow him an air kiss. “Ready?”  The big guy still cautious, follows the path back to Luke. I put my hands on his waist and start dancing and moving with him. First, he moves with stiff movements with his hands on the crook of my elbow. When Luke takes a spot behind me, sandwiching me between the two, he loosens up a bit.  “Come on Herman, dance like you mean it and we may get laid tonight.” Luke’s words drift over to two drunk girls grinding on each other. They take a look at Herman, then Luke and lastly landing on me. I throw my hands up in the air.  “All yours ladies.” Without pause they push me out of the way. A blonde grabs Luke by the neck pushing her front body on him while her friend, a brunette uses her backside dancing skills on Herman. The boy lucked out, she is doing most of the work.  Without anymore needed help, I slither away still dancing by myself. No big deal, sometimes it’s more fun. Swaying around, Charlie still leans near the family portrait. Only he is about ten feet away and now looking at me. I crook my index finger and wave him over. No luck. Alright, he wants it the hard way.  Determination sets in my stride. Charlie looks both ways for an exit, but the room is crammed, adding to the stuffy, hot sauna feeling of parties.  “Come dance.” “No, Willow. Not tonight.” The words cause so much pain inside, just the hollowness in them is enough to make want to slap Mandy into next week.  “Just with me Charlie. No other girls. Just friends tonight, please?” Our eyes hold for a little. I grab the front of his crew neck gently pulling. Pushing off the wall, Charlie creeps with me back to the dance floor. I turn around, waving my hands in the air like a maniac trying to get Lucky’s attention. We need continuous upbeat music, something happy and fun. Something so cliche at dances, but nonetheless still entertaining. Yelling at Lucky isn’t really working. I try a few times and am not trusting of Charlie to stay in this position if I do leave to go back to Lucky. Finally he looks and catches the words by having me mouth him. Sending a sneaky smile, he nods.  “Where’s your drink?” Charlie asks as the dancers wait for the next some to come on. I think back to where I last saw it. The DJ booth. Instead of going for a new cup, I take the one in Charlie’s left hand. “I wasn’t drinking that, at all.” “Don’t worry, you need your hands for this song.” It’s time get Funky. Funky. Clap. Clap. Clap your hands.  Oh yeah, the Cha Cha Slide. Old school, but never gets old.  Charlie tries to hold in his smile. He bites his lip ferociously, but it slips. When the lyrics continue to belt out, Charlie and I take our stance in the crowd as the group of bodies moves in synchronization to the words. Herman and Luke perform the moves in the line in front. Whenever I glance at Charlie, he is shaking his head laughing. Soon the four of us end up in line together, giggling like idiots and joking between words. Drinks are splashing all over the tile floor, my feet keep slipping in the sandals, and Herman keeps bumping into my left side not quite sober anymore. Whoops, that was my fault, but overall Charlie is having a good time with his friends.  The song ends too soon, but the four of us stay together in a group dancing around each other. Herman starts getting sloppy, real sloppy. Maybe the tequila shots were not a good idea. At one point when he almost face plants it, and the buzz the three of us have going only means we stand there laughing like true friends. Then Kevin reappears. “Come on big guy, let’s get you to a bed.” Even being twice his size, Kevin takes most of Herman’s weight, exiting back into the darkened hallway. Once they’re out of sight, blondie and brunette are on Luke and Charlie.  Leaving them to take Charlie’s spot on the wall since they both don’t wear the faces of people who are bothered, I take a look around. It’s crazy how living in a small town people may know me by whispers and rumors, but hardly any of these familiar faces come with names. Nancy was right, I hid out when high school started. Before then actually. In eighth grade, out of sight out of mind was my motto. Stay in the shadows to be hidden from the stares seemed like a better way to live. Now here I am, with four guy friends, one guy that my mind and body can’t get enough of, and no Mandy. Life has a funny way of turning things around on you and it doesn’t bother me one bit, not in this situation. Because if I had come out to parties and the social life earlier, would these awesome guys be my friends? Would Lucky dance up to me everyday at lunch and give me a smothering hug? Would Herman be my big teddy bear of protection? Would Kevin even be interested in me as he is now? Those thoughts are swiped away, like an eraser to paper. Kevin approaches, the same look in his eyes when I first arrived. My back straightens up, my toes curl in anticipation and just when he reaches two feet in front, he stops. I have to tilt my head up to reach his gaze. Moments pass away and we cannot look away from each other. Neither of us reaches out to each other, nor do we move away. It may sound corny, but time freezes us in that picture. Just standing. Staring.  “Alright ya’ll! Now this song is a baby making song, but no baby making on my floors! Nothing like an oldie but goodie to set the mood right.” Lucky’s voice booms over the microphone. His words are taunting and the song that follows pulls Kevin and I closer together, still not touching.  He begins walking backwards, I step forward. Step by step we take, until we are in the middle of the crowd again, right next to his best friends. Not once have our eyes disconnected. An invisible string tightens and tightens until we are face to face. A hand slithers just at the edge of the shirt on my backside, teasing and trickling until it reaches the skin underneath. Warmth spreads, but sends a cold shiver all over. My free hand wraps around Kevin’s neck, tugging softly. Our faces, now nose to nose. Another hand smoothes down my bare skinned leg, lifting it higher until it wraps around his waist. Then we start moving in slow, grinding movements.  My body waves forward as his does, connecting pelvis to waist, chest to chest. Body contact creates friction, turning into burning heat. Desire courses through my veins. The world is tuned out. In our little bubble, the movement of body to body continues. Fingers start slithering their way upwards, refreshing air soothes my steaming back. Steam could be coming out, but there is no distraction in this world. No, only Kevin and I.  Dance moves match the rhythm and pace, words echo of grinding. Continuous and continuous, my eyelids start lowering in pure lust filled need. Just as the final beat is coming, the final words quieting down into promised whispers, both of my legs have found themselves wrapped around his waist, still pumping more intensely by the second. His head dips slightly to the side, dodging my lips. Placing a feathered kiss just below the ear, I moan and Kevin whispers, “Thank you.” Publication Date: August 27th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-gl632d6d692cd35

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-marissa-luckett-the-life-of-marissa-ann-luckett/

Marissa Luckett The life of Marissa Ann Luckett Alexis Chavers, Matthew, My mom & my dad,All My family May 9th Thursday 2013 This book is completly unedited all LOLS,and OMG'S included,inless i feel like editing it and all that but this book is complely from the teenage point of view. :)  Ok so let me tell you about my self. Im 13 and yes my life seems not so complicated,but i just sometimes need to take a brake calm down and breath. So yes this is none edited and stuff. This is all my privitethoughts lol so if people on my facebook are actually smart and read my post they can be able to read all this. But i dont care. My lifes my life, and i feel like im a care free person, so if it happens it happensnothing can ruin me. Well actually it can, the thoughts really get to my head real lately. So ive just been thinking alot. So i mean i guess you can kind of say this thing is like my diary but its more thoughts then feelings so i wouldnt call it that. So im going to try to write as much and im pretty sure im going to write alot. Since its one of my hobies. Lol well not exactly a hobie since i dont write it i just type it. So this is my update well not update but whats going on in my head know. So ive been dateing the best bf in the whole world his names matthew :) ive been dateing him for two weeks & a dayknow. But i kind of feel like its not going fast enough a good thing but a bad thing. See i have a habit of trying to hard, moving to fast, and getting hurt to easily. But I like him, i cant officalysay i love him yet, because i think it but thats how i think with every guy ive dated. But I STONGLY like him. Im just afraid of it either going to slow,going to fast, or he just one day wont feel the same wayabout me. But i kind of feel like hes the one. There may not always be the aww moments but ive known him since like 2nt grade, and hes only asked me out once before and i said no becausei was like 10 and you know 10 year old think eww codies and stuff lol so i wasnt that smart to see he was like my best friend & the love of my life all in one. So I also have a little relief the one thingthats good is that he cant be stolen away from me because if he at least remembers the littel things that i do then he will at least think "hey shes to beutiful to let go of". But you can only wish. I've beenthrough enough heart brake. But the funny thing is, i feel like a really strong person not phsically but mentally. Because after all the heart brake,embarisment, and disaster, i still put up with it,i dont"take a brake" i dont "cry"(in front of people). I stay strong. Just the only thing thats not strong about me is I cut. Well at least i used to cuz i quit for  a while then i did it some more. And thats just all. I think alot and i swear some times my head might blow up! But i still think alot about him (matthew) i LIKE HIM ALOT..i think about him all the time..haha and write know as i type im thinking abouthim but im to lost in thought to call him. I just love quotes and stuff. As i type this i got my spotify,facebook,notepad,and all this open . And i read on facebook, "When the world says "GIVE UP" hope wispers"try one more time". And i love that type of stuff. I can spend a life time dweling on stuff like that but yet still be fasinated by other things and my mind just goes on and on switching from this to that.Well im kind of tired of typeing but thats all for today. A little part of me hopes alot of people read this but the other doesnt really give a fuck lol so yh i cuss  a little bit sorry bout that :* bye haha ttyl Publication Date: May 9th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-jp709b73973e515

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-erin-diane-emily/

erin diane Emily This is another book that i made I hope you will like it. Chapter 1 I am walking going back to my house. It was a long evening I can still hear the loud music coming through my ex- girlfriend’s birthday party, Amy even I’m already in the second road. I look up and I don’t know everything seems so dark like the sky. I wanted to be better but something is stopping me, right now this life is full of bad shit. Why? First my bull shit parents left me in my grandparents and of course I don’t know why? Still I’m one hell lucky because grandma and grandpa were so good to me. Second school, I hate it even I’m the hottest, bad boy in school and all the girls are lining up just to see me every morning it still a fuck. What’s the use of that anyway? What I wanted is to have a private life with my friends is that hard? Last in my list what I hated the most is college, Yes it is! I don’t care in my future anyway. What’s the difference going to college or not if my life is already a shit one. I drank my beer in my hand to forget all this things. “Whoa!!!”  I shouted. I’m 18 I’m strong, healthy and importantly good. It doesn’t matter what happen to me all I know as long as I’m living and happy I’ll live for the rest of my life. This will be my last week of vacation. Next week I will be going back to my hell life yes to that school. What’s the name? I forgot already anyway, it just 10 months right. I reach my house safely and run through my bedroom. Finally! Lying in bed is the best thing I done in my bed. I look at the clock and it’s already 3:30 am. “Good morning Marcus!”  I greeted myself, inch by inch heavy fogs coming through my eyes until I couldn’t see anything. Chapter 2 Vacation was over not long enough to enjoy my time unlike wasting minutes in school. I park my car and run through my friends. Near in the entrance Billy, Ned, Zack together with his girlfriend Janine and Amy my ex. Billy and I done our usual handshake, he’s the closest friend I have ever since grade 5. “So, what’s new bro?” Billy asked “Nah…” I said. All of us began to laugh, Zack making funny expressions adds on the fun. “Really?” Ned asked “Bro, look I think you’re just waiting for another girl to be fuck up.” Zack added. Amy scowled at Zack that made me laugh very hard. I look at my watch and it’s already time for my class. “Guys I have to go now and Amy stop glaring Zack were over, right.” I said. Amy’s was surprised what I had just said and I leaved. While I walk to the corridors something caught my attention. She was wearing an old cream sweater with long nanny dress like my grandma’s, black shoes with white socks and tied brunette hair. She’s new I guess. I look at her face and whoa! It so beautiful, that's unpredictable I walk towards her to meet her. “Hi! Are you lost? I can help you.” I asked “Am, no it’s alright I’m good thanks.” She said. Those green eyes were so mesmerizing, when I stared at it I can feel hope? No, this girl everything is new? I can see her lips moving but I couldn’t understand was it saying something, those lips look so soft. Then before I know it, she was leaving already. I need to get her name but when I tried to follow her she was already gone. Who is she? I glance at my watch and I’m already late. ”Shit!” I run as hard as I can but I was smiling and remembering the new girl’s face.   It was lunch time already, I went to the same spot and as I expected my friends were already there. Zack and Janine were kissing as the usual, Ned and Billy were laughing then Amy chit chatting to a girl next to our table. I walk towards them and give a wave, Amy’s face brightens up then it becomes red. What’s the matter on this girl? I don’t know. “So how’s first period?” Amy asked me. “Good, still the same old boring science, math and history and whatever.” I said “Do you hear the news, there’s a new girl in here. They said she was the daughter of the new teacher in here Mr. Jackson.” Ned said “Oh, yeah… I heard that she’s beautiful they said but she’s like a nun not a student.” Billy added and began to laugh. Then I remembered, yes that one who caught my eye. Right now I’m thinking her and as I can see, she is standing in front of the door with her book. “Is that her?” Ned asked “Yeah…” I said She walks towards to the center table or the rejected area as we called it. She sat there bringing out her lunch then continued to read. I stared at her until Janine noticed what was I dong. “Hey! You might melt her.” She teased “Ah… sorry Amy, looks like Marcus found a new girl you’re totally thrown up.” Zack added “Shut up Zack! Janine stop it, Marcus will not like that girl.” Amy scowled The couple began to laugh anyway, I don’t care anyway. I stand up in my sit and walk near her staring at her angelic face. She didn’t bother to look up or stop reading at that damn book of hers. Everything was so quiet I look at her waiting for her to notice me. “Aren’t you going to sit? You can be tired on what you doing” she said while reading. I sat beside her, “Thanks.”  I look back to see my friends reaction and as I can see they were giving me all thumbs up while as the Amy glaring at me or otherwise questioning me. “What are you reading?” I asked so that it won’t be boring here and hoping we could start a conversation. “Tuck’s Everlasting, by Natalie Babbit. Why?” She said. she take a sip of her soya milk then goes back to her book. “Nothing… I’m just wondering.” I said. I was surprised when she smiled, it was so breath-taking. “Can I know you’re name?” I asked. She stops reading and looked at me. Her expression was blank or should I say unreadable. Did I say something offending? Silence occurred between us, she looked at her watch before she speak. “Umm… I have to go I’m late in my class, sorry.” she said. She stood up in her sit and packing her things. I was staring at her then I observed she’s so pale like no color. When she was finish she left while I was left hanging. Weird, but at least I saw her smile then before I know it I was making small chuckles already. Chapter 3  I replay all the things that happened yesterday in my mind, I can’t stop worrying about it. Ned told me that everything will be okay but I don’t know. When I look at her there is something different at her she’s not like other girls particularly in her dressing style but what I mean is something bright is in her. I can’t stop thinking her until I bumped someone who’s this stupid person “Damn it!” I shouted. I look at it and it was her, all the things she was carrying I think was in the floor. She stared at me blankly and I don’t know what’s in her mind. “Sorry…”She said, she pick up her things while I staring at her. She was wearing a green jumping suit same style hair do and in ballet shoes. I help her because I’m so embarrass, this is the first time I’m feel like this in front of a girl. While my mind was floating I heard a soft chuckle coming from her? What’s this? Is she laughing at me? I gave a questioning look and asking for an answer. “Sorry. I just couldn’t stop.” She said still laughing, I found myself joining her. It feels good when I’m talking to her it so refreshing. We finished gathering her things in the floor. “Thank you.” She said afterwards then she smiled at me. “You’re welcome.” I said absently my mind still floating in the air because of her smile. She waved her hand while I returning the gesture. Shit! I forgot to get her name for the third time. “Damn it!” I look down kicking the floor because of frustration. I heard someone was shouting a female voice, I look up and it was her. “It’s Emily, Emilia Jackson!” while smiling at me. “Marcus, Marcus Lanther!” I returned back then she was gone. So it’s Emily, an innocent name perfect for her. Now, I’m relieved this will be a good day. I shrugged my shoulders then left the gym.   “So bro, did you finally get her name?” Ned asked me while we were in the party. It was Zack’s birthday the man was already 19 old is it? “Yeah!” I raised my glass containing beer. Then I smiled at myself replaying all what happened that afternoon. Everything was so colorful loud music, noisy people and etc. I glanced and saw Zack and Janine kissing in the bar stool. “Get a room!” I shouted at them. They stop kissing then both of them laugh, “Asshole!” Zack returned. I gave a wave then return my attention back to Ned. “You’re the men! So, what now?” he yelled “I don’t know!” I shouted, “She’s different bro, not like other girls.” I added “That’s new!”  He teased, I shrug my shoulders then we both laugh, “Happy birthday Zack!” Ned shouted “And to you my good friend I hope you will know what you’re going to do. Cheers!” he added. “Cheers!” I joined him, we drank our beer until the last drop. I went home not that drunk, I can still clearly see the roads somehow. While driving my car I saw Emily walking through the small forest of our city. I stop the car, go down and follow her. This is new even we were in the forest it’s not really that dark maybe because of the light given by the moon and the stars. I follow her until we reach a bared place. The place was so bright because of the light surrounded by the trees. I can hear the movements of the river until she stops moving, I hide under the bushes like a child playing hide and seek. “I know you’re there. Come out or moths will bite you.” She said. I didn’t make any move until silence fills the air. “Got you!” she shouted on my back. “Damn it!” I yelled. She laugh, “I told you to go out in there. Anyway, why are you here?” she asked. “I think I should ask you the same question. You’re supposed to be in your house not in here.” I exclaimed She’s just smile at me, “Since you’re here care to join me. I was hoping I could see the sunrise.” She stated. “Sure.” I answered then smiled at her. I help her to build a tent afterwards we sat there waiting for the sunrise.  She played her violin, the music was a combination of happiness and solitude. “Why are you doing this?” I asked her out of the blue. She finishes her music before answers. “It’s in my list.” She said. “You have a list, why?” I asked “I can tell you but after that you will never talk to me.” She stated “Never mind” I replied quickly. No, that will be the last thing I wanted to do, I don’t want to stop talking to her. Emily whispered in my ear, “Sleep”. She plays again her violin while I listening into the music, it sounds like a lullaby. My eyes were beginning to be heavy I fight with it but I can’t take it anymore. I fell into a deep sleep together with Emily playing a music “For you.” I heard her telling those 2 words. Chapter 4 It’s already afternoon when I woke up, I’m hungry. I went down to kitchen and saw my grandma, she was reading something. I kiss her cheeks, after that I grab something to eat, it was tuna sandwich. Yum! “Where’s grandpa?” I asked, I was enjoying my sandwich playing the mayonnaise in my finger. “He’s outside.” She replied, a small silence fills the air until she asked me without looking, “So, who’s the girl that brought you?” Then I remember last night, no this earlier morning I was with Emily in the small forest. She brought me here how come? And then I remembered I was so drank that time she never awaken me. I’m grateful that she brought me here either leaving in that peaceful land. I spent morning with her, without noticing I was smiling to myself. My grandma make a cough to get my attention, “Are you with me?” she asked. “Yeah, I’m here. She’s, umm… new in school. I caught her earlier this morning going to the small forest and we just stay there waiting for the sunrise.” I said “And?” she questioned. “Don’t worry grandma we didn’t do anything we just sat there.” I said quickly “Really? That’s the first time.” She said. “She’s different and she makes me different when I’m with her.” I said, yes she did that every time were together. Yes, there’s affection but I don’t know. Silence again fills the air, that’s the first time my grandma was so quiet maybe what I said was so unbelievable. I finished my food and went off in the kitchen, “Bye grandma.” I said then run off. I was walking outside but I don’t know where will I go. Then, I decide to go in the park stay there for a while perhaps. As I went nearer, I can feel already the green air, it was so refreshing at the same time it’s so peaceful. When I arrived, I was alone in here the feeling was same as I was in the small forest, I close my eyes until I heard someone was calling me, it was a familiar voice. “Lanther.” She said, I opened my eyes and it was Emily. Her green eyes were shining; she was wearing her cream sweater and sun dress I guessed and she was smiling at me that made me also smile. “Hey, Emily.” I said “May I join in?” she asked “Yeah, sure.” I replied She sat beside me still smiling, this girl can be a commercial model at the same time she was blooming. I noticed she was carrying something, it seems her violin or something. Then I remember I should thank her for earlier this morning. “Umm… thanks for bringing me home” I said “It’s alright, but next time don’t drink too much if you can’t.” she teased, and then she laughed then I was joining her. This girl can make me laugh a lot, it feels good when I’m hanging around with her. “Hey, umm… are you free this weekend?” I asked, for the first time I felt very nervous it’s really different with her. Silence occurred between us before she answers. “Sorry, I can’t I have to do something.” She said “Oh, no it’s alright…” I said disappointedly “Sorry it’s just…” she paused then, “complicated” I look at her curiously waiting for an answer, she’s hiding something but I don’t know, I think it’s really difficult for her to tell. Even I’m disappointed I tried to understand her it’s the least I can do. Right? She stood up and as I could see she looks like disappointed as well. “I need to go now…” she said “Okay. It’s alright maybe next time we can hang-up right?” I said and gave her a smile Her gloomy face begins to brighten up then she smiles and nod. When she left she goes back while I look at her curiously. “Did you left something?” I asked She gave me a nod and then suddenly in my surprised she kissed me in the cheeks then I started to flush. “It takes to much courage to do that.” She said and left. I just stared at her while she walks away, I don’t know something is wrong with me this feeling is new and weird but it felt too much joy to me. Even it is new, I wanted to feel like this always, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had which means I wanted to be with her always. “Emily.” I said her name and then I was smiling already, it takes me a second to look at the sky which is now different it was bright before I know it. Chapter 5 It’s another day, well its end of the week or should I say its Friday, my favorite day. I went to my locker and saw my friends Billy, Ned, Zack, Janine and Amy. I give them a wave to acknowledge my presence as I go nearer Billy and I do our usual handshake. Janine nod at me while Amy in her biggest flashy smile just for me, was waiting I just smile to tell her that I notice her but it irritates me when every time I see her. Anyway, as I scan the whole corridor I can’t find her I mean it's early but something is not right she is usually early in her class. “You’re looking for something?” Amy asked still smiling “Correction? Someone not something…” Billy teased “He’s right.” Ned joined him Amy glared at them while all of us were laughing. We heard the bell rang it’s time to go to our stupid classes. But maybe I can see her at lunch, I look at my watch and again I’m late in my first period classes. “Amy stopped that okay, Ned, Billy stopped that and yes both of you are right not something but someone. So, Amy back up we are finished okay. See you guys later.” I said and then left. Its lunch time already she’s not present. She’s not sitting in the rejected table as we called it. Why is she absent? Is she sick? Does she need to attend in a very important matter? Many thoughts came in my mind and I’m really worried. I cannot concentrate in my food so I stood up and left the cafeteria, I went to her teachers and ask them. All of them told me she was absent and the same time they don’t know why. All I do all day was to think of her I cannot focus in the stupid lessons, in my friends and anything. After school I went straight home even I wanted to see I can’t because I don’t know where she lives even were in the same place. Funny right? This day is different I mean when it’s Friday I was always happy now I feel gloomy or rather lonely. As I went inside my house my grandpa was there reading something. He looked at me and I give him a nod which isn’t the usual because when we see each other I will hug him. “Are you alright Marcus?” he asked worriedly “Yeah… it’s been a long day.” I answered. I sat opposite him and look at him, he was reading a book about ancient history. What’s with people reading books is boring? I get a magazine near my chair and instead of reading it I stare each picture. “It’s the first time I saw you like that is it about a girl?” he asked again I stop looking at the pictures and stare at him. I nod at him I was speechless and yes he was right. “What happened? Did you embarrass her or do something wrong?” he asked again “No, pa it’s just I’m worried I did not see her today what I mean is, it’s very unusual for her to be absent.” I said, my grandma came in together with a hot tea and biscuits which she baked earlier this morning. She distributed it to each one of us, my grandpa nod and smiled same as me. “Don’t worry Marcus, she will be fine. Maybe next week you can see her and she was smiling at you things like that or what should I meant is be positive okay.” He said then ate his one piece of biscuit. “You grandpa is right Marcus.” My grandma added maybe I was just too hysterical it’s just only one day right. I nod at them and smile to the both of them. They were the best persons I’ve known. After that, as the day pass I dream Emily her green eyes were staring at me while her lips were curving into a bright smile. She was wearing a floral sun dress and both of us were in the beach enjoying ourselves with the view. As we watch the sunset she said something but it was somehow blurred but as I can see in her face she was sad or gloomy after that scenario I saw her lying in the sands lifeless. I woke up cold sweats were rushing me, weird am I having nightmares if I am I hate it I remembered I experience it when my parents had left me to my grandparents. “I don’t want to lose her.” I said to myself then I laid myself calmly as the things gets darker and darker. Chapter 6 Another week passed quickly and I’m getting worried each day for her. My friends told she will be alright same as my guardians but I can’t stop thinking it’ been a week. While I was travelling, all my thoughts were in my dream last Friday what does it mean? I tried to focus in the roads until finally I saw Emily with someone. A man was trying to help her as I watch them, the man was holding her affectionately while Emily was very stiff is she scared? As I observed more she was really pale not the ordinary one but it’s different. I watch them one more time and man peck her cheeks which she becomes stiffer. I go down in my car and walk towards them. When Emily saw me, at first she was surprised then her lips curve into a smile. She holds my arms which I don’t know why? I look at her and her green eyes turns to life. “Nathan you can leave now. Thank you for your help.” She said quickly without looking at his eyes. So that’s the name of the guy. I look him and his face turns into a range. “Emy, who is this?” he asked furiously “It’s none of your business.” She said, I can feel her hands trembling and I know she was really scared but why? “Emy, look I know I become a jerk to you but don’t do this please. We can still work things, we can be the same again.” He said “No we can’t and you know why. At the first place I don’t want us to end like this but you persuade things and look at us you’re the reason why we have scars right now.” She said, her face was emotionless, she shake my hands and look at me as I understood she was asking me that we leave this place, I nod at her and we started to walk. As my last glance to Nathan his hazel eyes were already teary and I also tried to glance at Emily she was emotionless she did not say a word. We enter to my car still silence occur in the air. Then I thought she needs air and space to think so, we went in the forest were we spend our night together. When we arrived, she look at me and I just smiled at her we walk in the woods until we reach our spot. The sun was bright, the river was clear and everything seems peaceful, perfect for the situation. We sat there as we feel the dance of the wind around us. I look at her, both her green eyes were closed like me she was enjoying the time. When I’m here it feels timeless everything seems perfect, free from worries, problems and etc. and I’m grateful to Emily for letting me to see this beautiful place. “Thank you for saving me.” She said suddenly “No problem.” I replied quickly Again, silence occurred between us. The sounds of the chirp of birds, the running water and even the trees were so perfect. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked out of the blue, is she opening up. I stared at her for a while then I nod. I put all my attention to listen to her, for now she needs a listener not something else as the same time the one who can understand her. “Nathan, the guy you met earlier was my fiancée…” Shit! She’s getting married already no.no.no… it can’t be, “I know what’s in your mind okay. Before you think of something else listen first okay.” She reassures, I nod then she continues, “As what I’m saying, the reason why we were engage because of a certain matter but I can’t tell you okay. I don’t want to marry him because I don’t love or even like him it’s just I see him just a person nothing else. At first I told to myself maybe I need him to give a chance but as our relationship progress he dumped me in the middle of it that’s why I hated him for doing that. Then after 2 months his coming back to my life to resume our relationship, he told me he loves me but as you can see my face earlier you know the answer. So, any questions?” Is this the Emily I know, I mean she is amazing she is so strong or should I say brave, she amazes me every time were together but wait if they are in a relationship that means… “Umm… did the two of you do that or something else?” I asked. At first she looked at me at surprised then she laughs very hard before she answers, ”No we didn’t, even kissing we didn’t do it that’s why he ditched me.” Really she never had her first kiss that a revelation and thank God she is still a virgin. “Why?” I asked with my curiosity. “Because I don’t want it, no he doesn’t deserve it. That’s why you’re lucky you are the first man I kiss in cheeks except my parents.” She said, yeah I’m lucky, she smiled at me and I returned back. Then a thought came in she has another secret but what is it? Anyway, I hold her hand and kiss her head. She put her head in my left shoulders and then we gaze the sun as it gives shine to us. It was beautiful same as the girl beside me then I realize my life begins to have sense and one of that is to make happy Emily and protect her. I wanted to be better for her but particularly for myself, I make a small laugh and she just smiled. Text: erindiane@2013 Images: bookrix Editing: none Translation: none All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 26th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-nc2e091053ced15

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Peaceout Alone Knowing that he was gone forever, didn’t make me hurt. I felt no pain as I watched his loved ones cry, but wasn’t I supposed to be one of them? He was my best friend and now he just left me here to fend for myself. What do I do? My savior was no longer going to catch me when I fell, defend me when someone else insulted me, hold me when I cried. He was in a better place and yet I couldn’t cry, but only anger. He left me here alone, so I can only hate him now. Publication Date: August 27th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-peaceout

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Eva K The life of a teenage girl This is A book about a teen girl. Who hates Mondays. And has to go through some tough challenges that she has to over come. This is a book about the days of the week and how stressful it might be to be a teenager. This my not happen to everyone and they might not be this lucky but these things do happen to rich people thew. This story takes place in first person form and has one main character but she does not say her name at all I might edit so she does but i will tell you guys when i go but thanks for reading.-Eva K About the author: My name is Eva (not ava) and my favorite book is dairy of a wimpy kid. I love drama and romance and graphic novels o and comedy. Also you can follow my instagram @erpk2003 I hope to write more books and i hope you lke this book to. My friends have read it and thought it was cool so i hope you like it to. This is my first book. This is all YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Monday Monday I wake up, exhausted, angry, grumpy, mad. I HATE MONDAYS. I mean I am not just saying that I do really hate mondays. If you went through what I go through on mondays you would hate it too. First I have to get up really early. The I have to go to school from 7:00-3:00. 8 miserable hours of my life. Then I have tons of homework. That takes me 2 hours. Then I have to choirs for 2 hours. Next I eat then I have to go to bed by 8:00. And that is why I hate mondays. I will right some more tomorrow morning got to go to bed it’s monday. Tuesday   Tuesday Thank God it is not monday it is only tuesday I like tuesday because it is only 4 days away from the break of this misery they so call the week. Wednesday   Wednesday I <3 (love) Wednesday sometimes (as you probably notice i highlighted sometimes) because i always have the best thing to do like this wednesday (today) I get my new iphone 5c in blue which is going to be the best. Thursday   Thursday I am glad that it because it is only one more day until friday! YAY!!! I went to school today with my iphone 5c and everyone was super jealous and thought it was cool. FRIDAY!   FRIDAY OMG IT IT IS FINAILLY FRIDAY YAY!!!!!!! got to go it is friday party at my house. Saturday   Saturday It’s morning my party went on to till about 3 in the morning and I’m still in my party dress but what I did not tell you is that I got a boyfriend and I kissed him. Got to go texting him right now. Sunday   Sunday I am going to go to the mall with my friends but before that I might need to say some things about me.       My name is Winter. I live in Washington in a ranch house, I love Washington and all but there is nothing exciting about old Washington, I mean the only exciting thing is that they used to film Icarly here, but that is an old show now they film Liv and Maddie in WISCONSIN I so wanna move to Wisconsin but my parents think it is silly “That I want to move to Wisconsin and not stay here in “Fun Exciting  Washington” “with all my friends” And all I say is they can come with me. And they just laugh. I get really MAD I love to write books like this one. Publication Date: April 24th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-vt313d2d61d1945

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Briahna W******* Why Me? Marcy Humpton (part 2) Dedicated to those who have hurt and sorrow built inside. I love you Lauren H. "Ahhh..." Said Marcy as she changed into her jumpsuit and tennis shoes. "Riiiiinnnng!" Went the flamingo pink phone Marcy had next to her bed. "Hello." Asked Marcy. "Hey honey,you ready." Asked Brent. " Yeah, come on over i'll be waiting for you, oh and what movie do you want to see?" "Ummm, how about that new one about the girl who was emotionaly depressed and she found true love?" "Wow that probably would have been a movie for a girl to suggest but I like it and I think it's called Broken and Fixed." "Okay I should be there in 15 minutes bye." "I'll get the popcorn you can get the drinks." Marcy said. "All around the theatre all you can hear is,"shhhhhh!!!" Marcy said. "I have to go to the restroom i'll be right back." Marcy said. 1 HOUR AND 10 MINUTES LATER: "Marcy, Marcy where are you?"Yelled Brent. "HELLLP SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE THERE'S A GIRL IN HERE SHE'S NOT BREATHING!!!" Brent rushed to the left of the building..... THE GIRL WAS MARCY HUMPTON!!! TO BE CONTINUED....... Text: USE FOR INSPIRATION ONLY! All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 10th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-writerluvr7

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Trish Orengo Covered Series Book 1 Publication Date: July 12th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-tmo526

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Danielle Zuber Me My Life sjflkasdjhflsakjf Chapter One: Me My name is Danielle, I am 5'5" and I am not super skinny. I love to watch tv and eat junk food all day. So far, my life has been a complete mess when it comes to family and friends. My parents don't trust me and think I'm like the worst kid they have ever seen. My boyfriend barely shows any affection and my friends basically don't trust me because I can't keep my mouth shut. But hey, who needs them? Oh right, me, so I am going to tell you about all of my drama and problems and all of the shit in my life. if you don't want to hear it, then don't continue reading, I won't use fake names for the most part unless it's necessary. So enjoy. Chapter Two: Family My family isn't the closest at times but it's not like we don't speak to eachother. I hate my father, he is a complete ass, he thinks he's always right and everyone else is wrong. My mother is a goody-toe-shoes and thinks everyone should be as good as her. And my sister? Fuck her. All she does is make a mess for me to clea up, literally. She has no responsibilty in my house and my parents don't do anything about it. She is 19 and lives with us, mooches off of us, and is a total bitch to us, especially me. Honeslty, I would be ok if she died today, I would be upset for a little, but that would make my life easier.   Publication Date: May 10th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-danilicous6290

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Mark Lauck Doreado Publication Date: July 29th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-fantasynerd

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-nghi-montero-duong-sadness/

Nghi Montero-Duong Sadness What is it? It is what makes us whole. It makes our lives better. It is needed to grow. It is hated. It is hard to understand. It is sadness         The Feeling There are different kinds of pain. There is the kind of pain that numbs all your senses and there is also the kind that sends all your senses into overdrive. The pain that makes you mad is the latter. I understand what the pain that sends you into overdrive feels like. It makes you think things you originally wouldn't. You would feel unimportant even though you are. You would start to think about how easy it would be to let go of this life. It wouldn't be easy at all for those around you. They would mourn your death and wonder what had changed. While many would find the release into death terrifying, with the pain of sadness putting your senses into overdrive or numbing them, you would find it a warm, comforting answer to the pain. For those who have made it this far even with the most terrible and terrifying of experiences, I want to say I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm apologizing for in the least, but as I'm typing this I start to understand. I'm sorry for not being able to help and talk to you.     The Loss Being dragged down by the weight of the sadness matches the weight of being dragged to the bottom of an ocean by an anvil. When someone close to you commits suicide, you are engulfed by a strong current of emotions and questions. Feelings, Questions And Realisations Anger. They had left you without a second thought. How could they? Sadness. They are no longer here. Confusion. They didn't seem that sad. Don't they understand how much they meant to me? Was I the reason? Fear. What if someone else is thinking about suicide? Is it someone else I know?   The biggest question that comes up the most is why? .   While I want to say that I know, I don't. This is the horrible thing about being alive. You never know when you or someone else could die. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I condone the idea to take your own or another's life. I just think that that's the ironic part in life. While others spend their time think of the future, others choose to think of the past. What brings the tears in my eyes is that those with their minds in the future sometimes no longer get to have a future. Those that think of the past end up thinking about how terrible one mistake that they made was and cut the thread that led to their future and happiness. I won't lie. I have thought of ending my life when things got tough. I've thought 'Maybe if I end this now or just cut myself, I'll feel better!' . Even though those thoughts have crossed my mind I would always think that I don't want to die or be hurt. And that is true. No one wants to be hurt or die. I'm not saying that cutting yourself is good or healthy but, I just can't help but think that those that do are pretty brave. I don't have much courage. It takes alot out of me to even write or voice out my opinions. I just don't know what to say or think. This is pretty short but I just don't think that I can keep writing this book. I can't help but think of all my friends and everyone I care about when writing this. I had to think of the pain and feelings of those who hurt themselves while writing them and I just can't handle it. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to help. If you want to talk to me about anything though, you can. I just want to be able to help. This may just be my selfish side talking to make up for those that I couldn't help or didn't see hurting, but I want to help. Please come to me if I can do anything. Please. Publication Date: May 3rd 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-go5965e46fd2525

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lakya-wyche-burning-flame/

Lakya Wyche Burning Flame Introduction Hey guys my name is Lakya. This is my first book yayyy!! Feel free to comment, like, and share this book. Let me know how you guys like this book. Also if you have cover ideas for this book just any inbox me. So nice to meet you all of you guys and enjoy this book. Chapter One * Good Morning my fabulous frenzies this your home girl Aminta once again. I'm going to do this blog a bit different today. You know how I always give you guys advice on a particular situation that might be going on. Well today I'm going to be talking about this girl name Jasmine I swear she always give me the dirtiest looks in school sometimes. It's the first day of school today and it's about to be a mess. She always acts like I stole her man or something. Damn I wish I could he's beyond sexy his name is Donaven. I mean he's delicious looking. He's tall about 6'5, nice curly black hair, green eyes, teeth so pearly and white, and a deep husky voice that makes you want to jump on him and never let go. Don't get me started on his smell. He smells so good everyday I mean he wears Versace Eros cologne everyday. he is hers and I'm by myself which is ok lol. Tell me what should I do about this chick? Hit me up you know how to get in touch with me. Hit me up on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Alright my frenzies Goodnight* Well hello guys my name is Aminta Hope Jackson. I'm from Los Angeles, California home of the beautiful people. Recently my family moved from California to Boston since 2008. I kind of miss back home but I have met amazing friends up here as well. I have one of the best blogs in the world that I have started about 2 years ago just being bored. It has picked up over the course of time and I am none known on the social media world today. I am your average black girl. I have black long hair, brown eyes, nice full lips, a adorable baby face, and a body that makes the women jealous and the men to come bow down at my knees. I am not conceited but I'm hella confident. I have the best two best friends that the world can ask for there names are Rosa and Jordan. They have always had my back since I moved to Boston. I'm not rich at all but I do say my mom does good for herself and so does my dad. They work hard every single day and I'm lucky because I have such amazing parents and I'm the only child. I love my life but hoes sometimes get in my way. They know how to get under your skin but I don't let them. Especially Jasmine I swear that girl practice voodoo and worship the devil because I don't know how she got with Donaven he must love crazy because that chick is straight loco. Well enough about me lets get this started. * 5:30 in the morning* *Beep Beep Beep* Omg why don't that phone shut up. Like damn it's Monday already. Well let me get ready. I got out my outfit for today which included a black and white crop top, a black leather skirt, and black converse sneakers. I took a shower, brush my teeth, and put on my outfit for today. I did my hair in a bun with my bangs out and put on some of my moonlight path perfume from bath and body works. I went downstairs and grabbed an apple and waited for my mom so she can drop me off at school. Mom:Hey sweetheart   Publication Date: March 8th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-kaikai8991

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sam-scott-when-i-moved/

sam scott When i moved When I moved I just moved here to New Jersey. I'm seventeen years old. I have blond hair and green eyes. I'm in love with nature so I spend most of my time outside. I have no mom or dad. They died in a car crash. I live with my uncle ken. I went to walk around my new neighborhood, when I tripped over a huge willow tree root. I couldn't get up. I looked down at my legs and ankles. I couldn't see my left ankle bone. I started to scream because I was so freaked out. I tried to get up but when I got to my feet I feel and heard a loud pop. Then I looked at my ankle and I could see the bone. I screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The last thing I remember was a loud slam. Then I fainted. where am I?? I woke up in a strangers house. With a wrap on my ankle.I got up on one foot and hop to the flight of stairs. I hear a guy's voice, " Ms. are you ok?" I tried to hop as fast as I can put the guy grabbed me before I hopped down the first step."I wouldn't do that if I was you." It sounded like a threat to me. He picked me up and carried me down stairs. I started to cry. Where am I. Well at my house duh. Why am I here and wheres my uncle? Well I heard you scream. I saw you right outside my house and you were just laying there. So I picked you up and saw your bone and let my mom fix you up. Shes a doctor. "Ok. that leads to another thing." I said. Whats your name? Damen. What's yours Sasha. Well lets get you home Sasha. Before he step on the porch I passed out. All I could remember was his warmth. I woke up in my bed this time. I thought to myself "Damen." Josh or Damen Publication Date: January 3rd 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-lovley.flower

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-wayneswife-torn/

Wayneswife Torn Torn His Brillant Blue eyes, His carmel Brown eyes, Mine Hazel torn into pieces Publication Date: October 25th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-wayneswife

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sarah-daniels-love-of-a-maid/

Sarah Daniels Love of a Maid To all the Maid-Sama Fans in the world Chapter 1 Usui's POV    "How many times have I told you Usui you can't hang out in the student council room and has anyone seen Yukimura" Misa came in yelling I looked around and seen the terrifed looks of everyone else I sighed and stood up from where I was sitting which was the edge of Misa's desk I grabbed my girlfriend's wrist and pulled her into me moving a couple of fingers under her chin I tilted her head up and softly pressed my lips to hers she tensed so I wrapped my free arm around her waist in turn freeing her wrist she moved her hands to my shoulders and tried to push me away so I pulled her closer I deepened the kiss when she parted her lips she quietly moaned before I let her go "you were scaring everyone so I was trying to find a way to calm you down" I explained she glared at me before going and roughly sitting down in her chair "whatever stupid Usui" she muttered crossing her arms under her chest, blushing deeply "Miss President I wanted to ask you about the boxing clubs habits again" Yukimura said walking in "fine i'll go handle it in a minute" she snapped standing "sorry Yukimura, I didn't mean to snap at you" she sighed "she'll handle it later if that's alright with you" I said to the green haired boy he nodded and went to his seat "what do you think you're doing" Misaki asked me "nothing come with me" I said grabbing her hand and pulling her behind me I took her up to the roof and locked the door behind us "I have to get back" she said slowly "they can handle themselves without you for a couple of hours which is how long we have free from class" I said going to sit on the edge "fine then" she sighed coming to sit next to me "why did you kiss me" she asked quietly "two reasons one I wanted to and now I can cause i'm your boyfriend" I said grinning "pervert" she muttered "what's the other reason" she added "I found that to be the quickest way to shut you up" I said she reached up to hit me before gasping and clutching her side "Misa are you okay what happened" I asked worried "nothing i'm fine just a small incident at the cafe that's all I promise" she tried assuring me "take you shirt off" I commanded "what no I will not you stupid pervert" she clutching her blazer closed "I don't want you to take it off for whatever reason going through your mind I want you to take it off so I can see what's wrong" I explained softly "oh" she said moving her hand and doing as I asked once she was sitting with her shirt open a little she moved to the centre of the roof I walked over next to her as she fully removed it "Ayuzawa why didn't you tell me" I asked running my fingers over the bruise sitting just below the bottom of her bra "because I didn't want you to worry" she said closing her eyes and wincing "can I ask you something" I asked "you're going to anyway" she murmured grabbing her shirt again I put a hand out to stop her "what happened yesterday" I asked helping her get it on "some guy wasn't happy with something and I happened to be the closest person to him is all" she whispered "that's not what happened Erika called me and told me everything" I lied "what was I supposed to do he was going to hit her and I just reacted" she said "who was going to hit who" I asked she looked at me with wide eyes "Erika never called you did she" she asked me getting angry "no but I didn't know what else to say" I defended myself she growled but answered my questions anyway "Erika's ex boyfriend came to the cafe yesterday he tried to hit her and I got in between them he got me in the ribs as you can see" she explained quietly gestering to her ribs "why didn't you go to a hospital or at least a doctors clinic Misa you're really injured" I said buttoning her shirt and tying her bow "I can dress myself you know" she joked "I know" I murmured softly before wrapping my arms around her waist "what's with you you're acting really mushy" she asked blushing and avoiding my eyes "how can I not with a beautiful girl like you as my girlfriend" I whispered kissing her forhead "stop it it's weird" she said laughing I pulled away and chuckled myself before going and unlocking the door opening it to let Misaki through once I shut the dor she reached over and tangled our fingers together I glanced over and seen she was blushing a little I pulled my hand away and wrapped it around her shoulders she leaned her head on my shoulder pulling away only when we neared the student council room I let go when she began moving away a flash of disappoinment crossing over her face before she steeled her experession she went in leaving the door open I stood just outside waiting for her but not actually going in "hey what are you doing out here" Sakura asked coming up to me with Shizuko "waiting for Misa to finish up she yells at me for going in so I decided to wait out here instead" I explained we all turned when a bang startled us Yukimura came over and started begging me to help that Prez had gone crazy again "why can't you guys ever handle it on your own" I complained walking in and grabbing Misa's hand and her bag I walked out pulling her with me "did you two want to come see my place" I called back to her friends.   Misaki's POV   I glared at Takumi's back as he pulled me along behind him "stop it Misa" he said I glared harder before gasping as he twisted me around and held my wrists against the wall "what is your fasanation with pinning me against walls and such" I asked smirking "I asked you too stop glaring at me now I will ask again will you please stop glaring at me" he asked me I rolled my eyes but agreed "fine" he let me go and we kept walking "where are you taking me" I asked "home" he stated not looking back I stopped walking and leaned against the nearest wall until he noticed he stayed facing forward but stood still "no my mother will be worried if i'm home early" I said "that's why we're going to my place not your's" he replied turning his head to look at me "no absolutely not" I said shaking my head "tough you're stressed out and biting anyone and everyone's head off today so stop being such a baby and come on" he said "no" I said "for crying out loud Ayuzawa you need a break i'm not trying to do anything to you except help we can go to my apartment or I can ask your mother if I can take you away from everything for a while" he said "fine your place just leave my mother out of this" I snapped storming past him I went and changed my shoes before walking out of the school "I have to call the manager and tell her what going on" I said to him as he came up next to me "I already did she said take as long as you need" he answered "damn it" I muttered walking in the direction of his apartment. 20 minutes later we all walked into his apartment "pardon the intrusion" all three of us girls said "am I allowed to change out of my uniform" I asked sarcastically "yes Misa that's fine" he sighed I went into his bedroom and put my bag down next to his bed "crap I don't have any spare clothes" I muttered turning and walking back out to where the rest of them were "weren't you going to change clothes" Takumi asked "no apparantly i'm not I don't have anything I can wear here" I complained dropping onto his couch "you could borrow something of mine" he offered "fine" I grumbled getting back up and going back to his room I grabbed a shirt and a pair of pj shorts I went into the bathroom and closed the door I changed and stuck my things in the basket by the bath "did you want to stay over tonight" I heard the others talking "yeah sure why not" Sakura said happily Shizuko just nodded and stepped closer to Sakura "let's play truth or dare" I suggested the girls nodded and sat down on the couch Takumi came and sat down on an armchair I seen no spare seats so I wen over and sat down on Usui's lap blushing faintly "if you're so embarrassed about it then sit on the floor" he said "that's not why i'm blushing it's what I can feel that's making me like this" I said quickly I squealed as he quickly got up and I landed on the floor "Taku" I whined pouting "why don't you sit on the chair i'll sit on the floor and don't call me Taku" he said smiling "why should I Taku" I teased "nevermind" he said sitting down next to me I moved my legs to the side and leaned my head on his shoulder like I did at school "Misaki truth or dare" Sakura asked me "dare" I answered "I dare you and Takumi to go to second base tonight" she leaned over and whispered in my ear "what no way he would be my first time" I hissed back "what" she asked I reached over and grabbed her wrist getting up and pulling her into Takumi's room I shut the door roughly "i've never had a boyfriend before Takumi is my first everything boyfriend, kiss and if I go through with it he'll be my first time" I said quietly "come on it's a dare you have to do it I can't take it back the rules haven't change since middle school you know" she commented "fine" I muttered going to walk out "i'll need some kind of proof as well" she quietly said "fine whatever how much do you want" I asked "i'll know tomorrow" she chirped before walking out I groaned before following her out.   *2 months later*   Misa's POV   "Sakura just leave it alone okay" I said to her "no it was a dare you were supposed to do it" she replied "I can't help it if he was stupid and said something to make me mad" I snapped "what did he say to you know-" she trailed off "piss me off so bad" I finished she nodded and Shizuko started paying attention to the chat intently   "Takumi Usui transferred to Miyabigaoka High Shool three weeks ago" I yelled starting to cry I took off running and didn't stop until I was on the school roof. Chapter 2 Usui's POV   "Hello Mr Usui" Tora said coming over to the table I was sitting at "Mr President" I replied harshly "come come Takumi you don't need to be so formal with me" he said smirking "I am a student and you are the president of the school so yes I do" I said coldly "how is that beautiful girlfriend of yours doing" he asked "I don't know we went our seperate ways and I haven't spoken to her since" I answered getting up and collecting my things "very well why don't you go speak to her now" he suggested "I will in fact no matter my family's opinions I am transferring back to Sekia High this isn't where I belong and no-one can make me come here ever again" I snapped walking out. 30 minutes later I was in my old uniform and walking up to Misa's classroom I got put in her class when I came back because they had already filled my spot in my old homeroom I seen Sakura crying and Shizuko trying to calm her "it's fine she'll calm down and then everything will be fine for a while again" she was saying I started to get worried because something didn't feel right "hey what's going on" I asked coming up to the Sakura quickly pulled away from Shizuko, she stepped off to the side and Shizuko stepped forward I had imagined them being sort of happy seeing me but also very mad that I had left but I couldn't have ever prepared myself for what happened next Shizuko glared at me and moved away as Sakura took her place I stared confused until she pulled her hand back and then brought it forward and slapped me hard I raised my own hand to the sting in my cheek "she's up on the roof get up there and fix this before she does something stupid" she snapped "what" I asked "you broke her heart and now she's miserable because of you now go before I hit you again" she yelled I nodded before sprinting up to the roof I opened the door and seen Misaki sitting on the edge "oh Misa" I whispered there was a strong wind blowing so I knew she didn't hear me I watched frozen as she stood up on the edge I was horrified when I figured out what she was going to do "MISA NO" I yelled at the top of my lungs I started running over to where she was she looked back at me tears streaming down her cheeks she seen me and went to come over momentarily forgetting where she was I yelled her name as her eyes went wide and her footing slipped she fell over the egde just as I got there I reached down and grabbed one of her hands "stupid baka" I said helping her back up we collapsed on the ground panting for our breaths "why would you do that" I asked angrily "I can't do it, it hurts too much" she said crying "what hurts too much" I asked I was extremely confused right now "being without you" she whimpered I hugged her close to me gently "i'm so sorry for leaving and for everything I said that night" I apologized quietly she leaned up and kissed me hard "promise that this will never happen between us ever again please" she begged pulling away "I promise" I said pulling her closer for a softer kiss "do you think that we could do that dare of Sakura's tonight my mom wouldn't have a problem with me staying at a friend's" she asked me softly as I pulled away and rested our forheads together "are you sure" I asked "please I just want to be close to you" she pleaded I nodded and we both leaned forwards for another kiss we broke apart and I opened my mouth to ask Misa something but she beat me to it "will you be my boyfriend" she quickly asked "nothing in this entire world would make me happier" I told her honestly she blushed and smiled before leaning forward to kiss my cheek we stood up just as her two friends came running through the door "oh my god don't ever do that again Misaki" Sakura "why would you even do that" Shizuko asked calmly Sakura whacked her arm "how can you be so calm about this" she asked "she's not if you look at her eyes you can see the worry" I said "oh thanks" Sakura muttered "and as to why I did it, it turns out i'm more in love with this perverted alien than I realized" Misa said I put my arm around her waist and held her close kissing the top of her head "I want to amend my promise" I said to her she looked at my with wide eyes scared I was going to take it back "I promise I won't leave again if you promise you won't ever try to kill yourself again" I asked of her she nodded "I promise" she whispered softly "why did you leave in the first place" the other two girls asked "I was asked a while ago to come to Miyabigaoka but I said no and then on the night you gave Misa that dare I brought it up and Misa and I started fighting in the heat of the moment she told me to get out of her life and then went home so the next day I went to Miyabigaoka and asked if the spot was still available and they said yes it took them a little bit to get everything set up so I just stayed home for a while and then three weeks ago they got everything together and I was able to start I stayed out of Misa's life as long as I could but then the pain of missing her became unbearable so I transferred back to Sekia" I explained quietly "oh well no-one can say anything bad about you two anymore" Sakura said while Shizuko glanced to her before looking at me I gave her a knowing look "so are you actually dating this time or is it still complicated" they asked us quickly "nope he's my boyfriend" Misa said smiling and pointing to me "congratulations did you two want to come to karaoke with us tonight" Sakura asked I was about to say yes when Misaki spoke "no thank you we actually have plans tonight" she said blushing a little "huh what plans" Sakura asked "well I asked Taku if he wanted to go through with the dare tonight about my first time" Misaki murmured "oh sorry nevermind did you still want to come" Sakura asked Shizuko I felt Misaki tense a bit at her answer "I wouldn't miss a date with you for the world" Shizuko said quietly both girls seem to suddenly remember that they weren't alone "oh god what um no you didn't hear um i'm sorry" Sakura said quickly bolting into the stairwell Misa laughed and turned to Shizuko "does she make you happy" Misaki asked "yes more than anything else in the world" Shizuko answered "then I don't care if you two date" Misaki replied shrugging her shoulders Sakura slowly came back out "really" she asked timidly Misa shook her head and smiled "as long as you keep each other happy and keep your fights between yourselves and act normally around me then no I don't care" she said "you called me Taku again" I said pouting "yeah and you're just realizing this" she teased me we all jumped as the bell rang for the end of school "let's go home" I whispered she nodded and said bye to her friends "wait what about your job" I asked "I kinda quit after the first week of you being gone" she said sheepishly "we'll get it back for you tomorrow" I said jogging to keep up with her as she grabbed my hand and stared walking fast towards my place. I unlocked the door when we got there and pulled her in after me she kicked her shoes off in the doorway and leaned up to kiss me without breaking the kiss I kicked my own shoes off and dumped my school bag down I pulled hers off her shoulder and put it next to mine before leading her to the couch thankfully my apartment was so high up no-one could see in even by accident I pulled away and she laid down allowing me to climb on top of her "just so you know this is my first time too" I said moving a hand down to caress her breast "so how are you so good" she asked breathlessly "an uncle could never keep his mouth shut about details so I know excatly how to please a girl" I said kissing her neck and squeezing my hand as if to prove a point she gasped and closed her eyes "can we take it further now please" she asked shy suddenly "how much" I asked "all the way" she murmured I nodded and helped her get her tie and shirt off "wait" I said she looked at me confused "um I- I uh don't have a condom" I said quietly blushing deep scarlet and rubbing the back of my neck "oh" she said sitting up with me she crossed her arms over her bust "well we could always try to you know stop before anything happens" she said quietly I leaned forward slowly capturing her mouth in a deep kiss I began taking her clothes off again she pulled away to catch her breath so I moved my head down to her bust reaching underneath her I undid the clasp on her bra waiting for her to tell me to stop at anytime she took the bra off before reaching down to the waistband of her panties as well I took my shirt off because it was starting to get tangled I looked down at Misaki completely naked underneath me "stop staring it's embarrassing" she said softly, cheeks deep red she reached between us to undo my belt and pants shortly after they came off as did my boxers "this will hurt did you still want to do it" I asked her she nodded "if it doesn't happen tonight then it'll happen in the future either way it'll hurt" she said I nodded and slowly pushed into her stopping when she cried out "don't stop" she whispered I pulled out and got off her "I can't hurt Ayuzawa ever" I said quietly "please Takumi I want this" she said sitting up and wincing she pulled her knees up together and crossed her arms over her chest "I just don't like seeing you in pain is all Misa" I said "I know but the pain will fade I just- I want you so bad" she said quietly I sighed and leaned down to kiss her "if you don't take my first time then i'll have to ask someone else" she said smirking "you wouldn't" I said she nodded and pulled me down to her again I settled myself between her legs again slowly pushing she bit her lip as the tears welled up we each took a deep breath once I was hilted in her before I slowly started moving she looked in pain for a while but then she started moaning softly and thrusting her hips up to meet mine I pulled her up so she was straddling my hips she moved slowly at first adjusting to the new feeling she placed her hands on my shoulders as she got closer I could feel her walls clenching around me, I groaned and meet her thrust for thrust as we both approched climax I reached my hand up and rubbed one of her nipples with my thumb while I began sucking on the other we came at the same time I grunted and pushed into her as far as I could go while she dropped her head back and screamed my name when our orgsams stopped she leaned her head down on my shoulder panting though I can't say that I was much better my hands reached for her thighs and I carefully went to lift her off me she moaned quietly as I rubbed against her "just give me a minute to calm down" she asked I nodded and held her close after a while our hearts went back to normal and so did our breathing she climbed off my lap and pulled me down with her we fell asleep like that after I moved the blanket from the back of the couch to drag over us.   Misa's POV   I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door "Taku wake up" I mumbled tiredly shaking my sleeping boyfriend's shoulder he muttered something before burying his face in my hair more and returning to a peaceful slumber I carefully untangled myself from him as the knocking continued "come on guys we know that you're awake if you don't hurry up we'll be late for school" I heard Sakura call out "school I forgot it was a school night" I groaned getting up and putting on Takumi's shirt that was on the floor next to my feet she knocked again louder "geez alright i'm coming" I said going over and opening the door "I take it you couldn't find your own clothes Misa" Sakura asked smirking "well if someone had of been a little more patient when knocking to get our attention I would have gotten dressed into more than just my boyfriend's shirt" I grumbled allowing them inside "sorry but if we don't hurry up we'll all be late" she complained closing the door behind her and Shizuko I walked over and climbed onto the couch straddling Takumi making sure that my legs were either side of his hips before leaning my lips down to his ear "if you don't wake up right now I swear i'll tease you until I have you begging" I whispered he groaned and opened his eyes "Jesus Misaki" he muttered moving his hands to grasp my hips as I tucked some of my hair behind my ear before leaning down to softly kiss his pouting lips "get up or we'll be late" I said removing his hands from where they were slowly making their way to my backside "and behave" I added getting off him smirking as he sat up and made a grab for me only succeeding in allowing his fingers to brush the shirt hanging loosely around me "hurry up we have school" I said slapping his hand away from trying to grab at me again he yelped as he fell off the couch and landed on the floor with the blanket tangled covering him at least "going to get up now" I asked he looked up at me or more up the shirt earning himself a hard smack on the head "idiot pervert" I muttered grabbing a spare uniform on of the girls had thought to bring over and going to take a quick shower, by the time I was done Takumi was dressed and waiting for me "come on let's go already" he said grabbing my hand. Chapter 3 Takumi's POV   Publication Date: August 24th 2019 https://www.bookrix.com/-oedb39b18ba1795

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rebekah-pell-sisters-death/

Rebekah Pell Sisters Death The Starting This all started with a curse that was put on the starling family.No one knew about it up until 3 years ago.Ellen starling (Emily starlings big sister)told about the curse.One day she was on top of a 5 story building and someone shot her and she fell of the building along with it.I think whoever knew of the curse thought that if they killed everyone in the starling family that the curse would be gone forever."But it cant be this way.""I cant die."said Emily.Emily was 16 years old.She was just the same age as Ellen when she got shot.It had been 6 years since Ellen had gotten shot.She was 16 and now Emily was 16.I made a brave move that very same day."I will go kill the man who will soon kill all of my family." Publication Date: March 24th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-rebkah

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-stevie-wright-p-invation-of-the-evil-alien-and-the-attack-of-the-blind-grandma/

stevie wright :P Invation of the evil Alien and the attack of the Blind Grandma The invasion of the Evil Alien and the Attack of the Blind Grandma "I've got you now," John whispered to himself as he ran swiftly through the old and rotting leaves. "OWW! My arm!" Jim yelled as three paintballs slammed into his left arm. "Now I only need to get Bill then I will have won the paintball war challenge," John thought. John ran to the other side of the wood, hoping to find Bill. "Got ya!" yelled Bill as he fired 27 rounds all aimed at John but John saw Bill shooting and dived out of the way before carefully shooting Bill in the chest. "Looks like I win eh boys," John shouted triumphantly. "Yes but now we'd better get back to school before the teachers realise we are missing," replied Bill. "Look, there they are. Get them!" "Oh no, the teachers have found us," said Jim, "you see, I told you running away from school was a bad idea." Suddenly a big light lit up the sky and what seemed to be a green meteorite crashed into the city. "What the hell was that?" asked Jim. "It looked like a green meteorite," replied Bill. "Come on guys, let's go check it out," said John enthusiastically. As they walked towards the city they heard people screaming about a big alien. "What happened here?" asked Bill. As they walked closer to where the meteorite landed they saw a huge slimy alien eating people! "We are all going to die!" someone shouted. The alien jumped into the air. Suddenly, eight arms shot out of his slimy body and at the end of the long skinny arms a two metre blade was slicing through the air. "Ok guys I have an idea," said Bill, "we all scream and run around in circles!" "Bill, that's a stupid idea!" yelled John. But when all hope seemed lost Ben Hammond, an ordinary 10 year old, jumped out of a gardening store holding a rusty chainsaw. "Get off plant Earth you piece of crud or else!" shouted Ben. A sigh of relief could be heard as Ben jumped off the roof of the gardening store and sliced the alient's head off but as blood poured out of the monster's neck, three more heads replaced the old one. "Oh poo," said Ben as the monster gobbled him down. "Now no one can save us!" a woman screamed. "Hmm, I think I will start doing evil things just like this alien," said Jesse ,a well known idiot, who was hiding in the crowd. Two hours later ... "This is the BBC here with an important news flash. The evil alien has destroyed more buildings and the really bad news is that a boy called Jesse has been committing criminal acts like bank robbery and he even knocked a blind grandma off her wheelchair." On the other side of town in a flash apartment the old blind grandma had climbed into her Mercedes. "You have been messing with the wrong grandma you Jesse boy so you'd better watch out. Bring on the Mercedes!" yelled the blind grandma as she drove until she was a hundred metres from Jesse. "Jesse, you have been messing with the the bull, now here come the horns!" shouted the blind grandma. She drove as fast as she could and ran Jesse over but kept driving and crashed into a brand new five star hotel. "Oh dammit my insurance has run out," said the blind grandma, "oh well, taxi!" A cheer came out of the people in the crowd as the alien fell over and landed on the blind grandma's Mercedes. "What? How dare you destroy my Mercedes because only I can destroy my Mercedes, so take this and this!" the blind grandma ranted as she started shooting it with her BB gun. The alien shrieked with pain as the blind grandma dropped the BB gun and started shooting the alien with her shotgun. There was a crash and the alien's dead body fell to the floor. "Wow! I do not believe that the blind grandma killed that alien," said John. "Me neither," replied Bill and Jim. "So is anyone up for another game of paintball war?" asked John. "Oh no," said Bill and Jim as they started to run away from John's paintball gun which was now pointing at their heads. "Ready! Aim! ......." To be continued in The Return of the Blind Grandma. Publication Date: May 5th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bookzrawsome

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-skylar997-runaway-1/

Skylar997 Runaway Blood Tears pt.2 Trapped The car tried to stop but it was too late. Before i blacked out i saw my dad laughing. When i got to the hospital he refused to pay the bill. Im so lucky my friend's parents paid. My dad really hates them. I was so happy when Skylar walked into the room,"thank u so much Sky, you are a life saver". She smiled and responded,"It's no problem Ava, but i will tell my parents you said that". When she walked out of the room my smile went away as my dad came in. He could almost see the fear in my eyes. He smiled and when nobody was looking he started to choke me. My best friend Sky was looking. She was about to come in the room and kick his butt, he deserved it but i didn't let her. I couldn't breath but luckily i had the courage to kick him in his guts. He fell down saying,"AAWW, im going to kill you". He got back up and i hit him with a nearby plate. It was plastic, so it didn't hurt. I then shouted,"NURSE HELP MY DAD IS TRYING TO CHO"! I couldn't finish because i couldn't breath. The nurse came in and man she threw him off of me and boy that looked like it hurt. "Are you okay Avalon don't worry i called the police. I was still trying to catch my breath when my dad grabbed her and started choking her. I got up and i tackled him. I then pinned him to the ground and slapped him one time. The police came in and saw him. They tranquilized him and i blacked out. The next day he was put in jail but i had to be put in foster care. I didn't want anyone else to adopt me. When i was dropped off to the adoption center Skylar and her parents showed up. Skylar smiled and said,"SIS"! My mouth dropped open as they signed the papers. I hugged her and we both did our handshake. We were dancing like five year old children in a sixteen year old body! I went back to there house and Skylar's house we started jumping on this bed. I had a broken arm but it sure didn't seem like it. The next day when we went to school Sky and i were the center of attention. Everyone signed my cast and then Brooklyn showed up. She always hated me and when she saw my cast she slapped me. Everyone else gasped and some even yelled at her. You see that is rare at this school because she never gets yelled at,EVER. She then punched my arm and then pushed me on the floor. She then shouted to me very loudly,"SO YOU NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING, YOUR WEAK. YOUR THE MOST PATHETIC KNOWITALL IN THE WORLD. WHEN I SAW THE NEWS THAT U GOT RUN OVER, I LAUGHED LIKE CRAZY. ALL YOU ARE IS A BIG, FAT, PSYCHO PATH. I JUST WISH YOU DIED WHEN YOU GOT RUN OVER". I got up and looked at my other arm and slapped her back. I then kicked her and threw her across the room. I was so angry i shouted across the room," SHUT UP, ALL YOU DO IS PUT PEOPLE DOWN BECAUSE YOUR AFRAID THEY ARE BETTER THEN YOU. WELL HERE IS A NEWSFLASH THEY ARE. IM SO LUCKY IM NOT YOU BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE DAY YOU CRUSH SOMEONE'S SPIRIT BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS COOL. WELL ALL YOU ARE IS A BIG FAT LYING JERK AND I HOPE YOU ONE DAY FINALLY REALIZE YOUR DOING SOMETHING WRONG. YOU MIGHT BE PRETTY ON THE OUTSIDE BUT YOU ARE HECK OF A JERK INSIDE. SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT HUH. I CAN'T HEAR YOU, SO JUST LEAVE EVERYONE AALLOONNEE"! She looked at me and everyone else started to cheer me on. I felt bad but she got what she deserved. When i was in class she framed me for cheating. Good thing we weren't taking a test because she just looked stupid at that point. I looked at her and smirked. She looked at me and acted like she was choking her self and whispered,"you are soo dead". When class was over she pushed me out of the classroom. She dragged me across the floor where the teachers weren't looking. She screamed at me,"I told you, your weak". She took my hand and was about to flip me but i grabbed her by her wrist and flipped her. I then pinned her and she pushed me off. She smacked me almost as hard as my dad did, i acted like it didn't hurt. Yet inside i was screaming like a baby. Jocks came up behind me and pinned me down. She then starting slapping and punching me. I got so mad and i kicked her off and gently stomped at the jocks, i didn't want to hurt them, even though they deserved it. I then started to walk away, i didn't want anymore trouble. The next morning, it was a Saturday. My friend said,"Oh my gosh Avalon, you sure are a good fighter. You could join my karate class". I then smiled and said,"thanks but i will stick on my own path". She smiled and said,"Come on, please just come as a guest". "Okay but only as a guest, you did literally save my life when u adopted me". She smiled and took me into her room. She gave me a karate "outfit". I smiled and happily said,"OMG i love it i love it i love it"! The next day i went to go get the newspaper when i saw that my dad had been free'd from jail. My smile went away as a tear dropped. My friend came outside and read the newspaper,"Avalon, im so sorry. I also have something else to tell you, we are not moving till next month". Publication Date: June 25th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-skylar997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-shykeria-king-scars-tell-a-different-story/

Shykeria King Scars Tell a Different Story Publication Date: December 9th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-swagg.3

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rwby-lover-kirito-039-s-surprise-part-14/

RWBY lover, Asuna Yuuki Kirito's Surprise part 14 The proposal Kazuto woke up that morning with one thing on his mind as he woke up Gal and looked at her "will you marry me" as he asked her on one knee smiling at her as she started crying "yes i will" she scream with excitement as kazuto's aunt came running in "whats wrong what happened" she said with a concerned look "Kazuto asked me to marry him!" she screamed with excitement and kazuto's aunt looked at them with a smile as she shut the door and went back down stairs "kazuto just asked her to marry him, dont worry silica there ok" she said to silica as she just nodded and looked at her "kazuto and Gal walked down the stairs hand in hand as kazuto's aunt just grabbed kazuto by the hand and whispered in his ear "so what are you going to do for a wedding" she askd as Gal answred "a very nice one in the back of the house" kazuto's aunt smiled and hugged them both "im happy for you both" kazuto's aunt said with a smile and silica just smiled as she standed there infront of them as he kissed Gal klien and elisbeth wre at the door knocking, Gal opened the door as they came in "guess what Gal and kazuto are doing you two" silica said with a smile, "they're getting married" she said with a big smiles on her face "huh kazuto getting married" klien said with a surprised look on his face. "yup and its going to be big to" kazuto said with a smile as he kissed Gal again "well talk to you guys later me and her are gunna go plan for the wedding" he said as he grabbed Gal by the hand and walk up stairs with her. The wedding supplies The next day kazuto and Gal went out to buy cakes and took silica with them. "hey this one looks pretty" Gal said with a smile as it was pink and white, "ill get anything you want my dearest Gal" kazuto said with a smile as he kissed her and he went off by him self buying flowers as he came back to her giving her them as she smiled and jumped with excitement. when they finished Gal and silica went to go look at wedding dresses as Kazuto and klien went to look at tuxedo's "your going to be my best man klien" kazuto said with a smile as klien nodded and they went into the tuxedo shop as kazuto and klien got fitted in his black tuxedo. later that day kazuto klien gal silica and elisbeth met up to go eat as kazuto's aunt came along smiling "lets go get dinner guys" kazuto's aunt said with a smile "good cuz im starving"kazuto said with an exhuasted look on his face as Gal kissed him, "i love you  kazuto" she said with a smile as kazuto stood up and forgot about it "i love you two Gal" as they all went to go eat and ended the day for tomarrow the wedding will happen Publication Date: October 11th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-dnf10382a424525

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-j-hall-give-it-to-me-or-give-it-to-god/

J. Hall Give it to me or Give it to God Harlem New York is a place well known for its night life and big time star attractions however like every hood in America there‟s an undercurrent where drug-lords and crime reign havoc on the city. In a city like New York, with all its glamour and glitz, problems run rampant. One of those problems is named Antoine "Trouble" Mitchell. He was dubbed Trouble by friends and foes alike because wherever trouble could be found he was sure to have a front row seat. Trouble was introduced to the streets at an early age. Raised in a house full of dope pushers and prostitutes, he was forced to go it alone. His mother was one of the many in the household addicted to heroin. Even though the apartment belonged to Trouble and his mother, it was the dope pushers who set policy. All the fiends were designated to one room while Trouble was left to roam free. The dope pushers found it amusing to blow weed smoke in his face and they even got him drunk from time to time. They all would roll with laughter as Trouble staggered around the house. This form of abuse happened daily with no interference from any of the adults in the house. This wasn‟t the only abuse on display within the home. Trouble‟s mother would trick several times a day to support her escalating habit. One night an argument broke out between two of the dope pushers about whose turn it was to make a sell. Trouble‟s mother was forced to take sides. After siding with one of the pushers, the other pusher pulled out a gun and shot her in the chest, killing her instantly. Trouble was only seven years old. This dramatic life changing event would set the tone for his adult life. In the days that followed, Trouble was rescued by a lady affectionately known as Mama Rose. ............ A couple of weeks passed and Crime felt it was time to put the plan into motion. While Crime was scoping out Sal‟s, he learned the money man Joey made two drops a day, but on Friday he made three to four drops. Crime figured the biggest drop was the last, because Joey always had three or four bags, rather than the normal two, therefore Crime chose the last drop on Friday to rob, plus by the time of the last drop most of the traffic died down from people trying to play their lucky numbers. With me, Crime, and the girls going over the details a couple of hundred times, the time finally had arrived. Meleeka was at the corner, Dawn was parked in the back, and Crime and I were also in the back holding our positions. Crime knew Sal boys always came out every hour to canvas the area, so it was a waiting game. About forty 5ive minutes elapsed before one of Sal‟s boys came out. To us, forty 5ive minutes seemed like an eternity, but it was our time to shine. Me and Crime pulled our ski masks down over our faces. With his adrenalin pumping and his palms sweaty Crime nodded to me. We had been through this drill a hundred times, but the unsettling feeling of not knowing our fate was always the same. We emerged from the shadows with guns drawn. I grabbed Sal‟s boy from behind and put my gun to his head, "If you even breathe wrong I‟ll blow ya fucking head off. Now with ya right hand I want you to show me how many of Sal‟s boys are inside," I instructed. Sal‟s boy put up four fingers. With that information Crime took the lead as we entered the building. Joey was sitting off to the side counting money and putting rubber bands around each stack. Sal and two of his body guards were playing cards, totally unaware that certain death awaited them all. "Everybody down on the fucking floor!!!" ............... Text: J. Hall All rights reserved. Publication Date: December 20th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-fenom21

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sarah-nagle-i-dont-have-a-title-yet-if-you-any1-can-think-of-one-please-let-me-know-thanks/

sarah nagle i dont have a title yet if you any1 can think of one please let me know thanks Before I start this story I would like to introduce myself. My name is Amilia Loneheart. I am a junior in high school. But unfortuntally I still have to live and go by my parents rules because I still live in there house. They said when I get my own house I can go by my own rules. I on the other hand don't have to choose to obey them. One day not to far ago my parents got divorced and I got to pick which one I had to live with. I chose my mom. My mom knew almost everything about girl issues. So every other month I got to go stay with my dad if I wanted to. Sometimes I didn't really want to but other days I just wanted to live by myself. The crazy thing is that I got to go to two schools. I have two seperate lives. One month I can be one thing and one month I can be another thing it really don't matter much. But truthfully I always knew who I was and who I wanted to be. That night after I ate dinner I headed up to my room to get ready for school in the morning. I jumped in the shower. Then put my pj's on. I got into my bed and was half asleep when I heard a sound come outside my window. I got up and went to the window to see who it was and it was my best friend throwing rocks at my window to get my attention. "I can't come out tonight, James." I said sadly. " that's not why I am here. I am here to see if I can stay over on your couch." James asked. "I don't see why not but I have to check with my parents ok hold on let me ask go to the front door in a couple minutes." I said. I turned and walked towards my door before I heard rocks again. "What is it this time." I asked. " I really need to go to the bathroom may please come in." James pleaded. "Yes I guess but make it quick." I replied. Then I called for my mom came up and asked me what was wrong. "I was just wondering if James can stay the night on the couch?" I asked. "Sure but both of you have to go to school in the morning and he has to stay down stairs." Mom stated. "ok, thanks mom I love you." I said. "James my mom said it is ok but you have to stay on the couch and we have to go to school in the morning." I said. I went over to my bed and finally fell asleep. James went downstairs and went on the couch and turned on the tv and layed down after that soon feel sleep. I feel woke up and looked at the alarm clock to see what time it was and it was 3:30am and I was wide awake so I walked downstairs towards the couch. Of course he wasn't there. I looked all over the damn house and found him in the kitchen. That's exactly where I should have looked first. I didn't know why I was so stupid he is a guy and he loves to eat. "What are you doing up so early?" I asked. "I just woke up and I was in the kitchen eatting." Publication Date: August 8th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-jacksongurl1990

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chamudi-semini-what-a-lose-you-are-the-one-who-is-reponcible/

chamudi semini what a lose, you are the one who is reponcible i dedicate this book to my father and mother drama [This is a situation which was occurred in a shop regarding some sales item] Scene 1 Characters-the shop keeper Wilson, the one who came to by the refrigerator also owner of another shop Thusath [In a large shop which sells refrigerators and other items] Wilson-good morning Thusath-good morning, as I’ve informed you earlier I’m here to by few refrigerators to sell my shop. Wilson-ahh, oh Thusath, I’m Wilson [Thusath says nodding and while examine the refrigerator] Thusath-how much will be the price of these goods over here Wilson-oh they are about 60 000 rupees Thusath-that much, oh man I’m also doing a business here Wilson-oh but regarding the cost which cost me for the ingredients you will be great full to have the refrigerator at that money Thusath-oh but as it looks this refrigerator would not cost that much money Wilson-oh now you are speaking to me like that all the cost I’ve input to this refrigerator is 54 000 rupees Thusath-oh it’s not even fair I’ll buy this for 56 000 rupees and also just don’t remember that I’m buying several refrigerators also Wilson-oh it’s not fair, I’ll sell it to you for 58 000 rupees when regarding the labor cost its fair Thusath-ok then deal then as I’ve mentioned earlier I’ll buy 5 fridges Wilson –ok then saman [Calling a sevent boy] Wilson-pack five fridges of this size [While giving the money] Thusath-ok then here is the total money [Wilson counts the money and become happy] Wilson-oh thanks sir, saman hurry [Thusath says while looking at the people] Thusath- he is such a moron. He has a profit of 4000 each and I’ve bought 5 already and he has a 20 000 rupees of profit.   Scene 2 Characters-Thusath, his servant boy Gayan [The refrigerators have bought to the shop and Gayan is examine it] Gayan-oh this refrigerator looks very good. Sir this time you had done a good job choosing the refrigerators Thusath-oh it’s no big deal. But this time they had increased the price of the refrigerators. [Gayan while acting cool and shows that he understands every bit] Gayan-oh it is a very sad thing to be heard of. How much sir was their profit sir [Thusath tells while taking a very sad expression and a very hurt sound] Thusath- oh he had 4 000 rupees each. And I bought 5 and that moron even didn’t had a little discount. Gayan-oh sir that is a very sad thing indeed. What was his selling price sir? Thusath-oh don’t even talk about that it was 58 000 rupees. [Gayan doesn’t understand even a bit which Thusath was saying. He asks the watching people] Gayan-oh my, I doesn’t even understand a bit of what he is saying but I also must show him that I’m not a fool [Gayan speak with Thusath and also act’s like he understand the all] Gayan-oh then he had a 20 000 rupees of profit [Thusath now looks little happy and speaks to the watchers] Thusath-oh this boy Gayan, this is the best way to tease him [There is a wicked smile sat across Thuath’s face] Gayan-so sir what was the cost of the refrigerator maker. Thusath-oh Gayan as you have succeeded this much I think you already know the cost of his [Gayan answers without thinking a lot] Gayan-oh then it probably is 38 000 rupees Thusath-oh no what a fool are you. You don’t even know how to subtract something from another number. Gayan- oh it is 34 000. [ Again tells looking as he has understood the question] Gayan-you know sir the selling price is 58 000 rupees and the profit he had is 4 000 so as I’m a bright one I can simply tell the answer is 54 000 rupees Thusath-ok ok I know that you are a bright one from the beginning. So mark the price of these refrigerators keeping a profit of 7 000 rupees Gayan- ok sir it is probably…………….. [Gayan thinks for a few minutes and takes the calculator] Thusath-oh you fool it is probably 65 000 rupees [Gayan looking little astonished by Thusath’s sudden reply .reply back to maintain his status] Gayan-oh, I was about to answer Thusath-ok ok no need of remembering. I know you are the brilliant here. Make a display board and write the price. I have an important call.   Scene 3 Characters-Gayan, Thusath, the ones who come to take the refrigerator, costumers Thusath-this refrigerator hasn’t been sold out [Thusath asks Gayan] Thusath-Gayan do you know the reason for this refrigerator to not to be sold out. Gayan-oh actually I wasn’t paying attention to that refrigerator. But all the other fridges were sold out Thusath-then Gayan pay attention to what the costumers say about this refrigerator Gayan-ok sir I’ll pay attention   Next day’s morning [Some customers have come to the shop and Gayan is showing the items to them.] Gayan-oh sir this is a new refrigerator and it is also cheap. There were five of this type and they all were sold out. Costumer-oh is it so but this is an old type there are many new types of refrigerators [Gayan thinking to himself] Gayan-so this is the reason for not to people buying this refrigerator [Gayan looking back at the costumer] Gayan-oh then would you like to see another items. We have rice cookers and also other items. Costumer-oh no I’ve been here before. I was on my way to the workplace. Gayan-thank you sir and come again.   In another part of the shop talking to Thusath [Gayan tells while shouting] Gayan-sir I’ve found the reason for not to being our goods sold. Thusath-just don’t shout like you are Arkimidis. [With a face covered with embracement] Gayan-ok sir I’ve found the reason for not to being the refrigerator sold out Thusath-yes then tell me the reason. Gayan-what else, because it is an old module Thusath-then if that is the reason we must put it on sale. Gayan-yes sir then how much would be the discount percentage would be Thusath-like 5% or 6% but make sure not to get over the bought price. We would have a lose Gayan-got it sir Later on Gayan is speaking to him self Gayan-so if the discount is 5% the price will be ……………………………………. If it is 6% the price would be …………………………………………. So the perfect percentage would be 6% Gayan-sir I think it would be appropriate if we put 6% as the discount. [Thusath looks overboard. So he asks] Thusath-Gayan tell me the way you got this answer. Gayan-it’s so simple the way is that ……………................................................................... ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. [Looking impressed] Thusath-ok than put on a sales board. Gayan-ok sir   Scene 4 Characters- Gayan, Thusath, the lady who comes to by the refrigerator Shyla, her friends [There is a sale board which all the people can see, in this time on a corner of the stage we can hear a sound of giggles and pretty girls appear from the corner of the stage] Gayan-oh these girls are pretty. [While he expresses his thought in that manner the girls stop in front of the shop and chats about the refrigerator and enters the shop] Gayan-oh good morning [Girls giggle] [Gayan looks a little embraced] Gayan-ok then what were you girls looking at [Another giggle from the girls, but this time the most beautiful girl among them speaks] Shyla-oh we were looking at the refrigerator which was mentioned on the board. [The girl speaks with a very nice twinkling voice, Gayan looks like he is in a dream] Shyla-excuse me I was …. Gayan- oh the refrigerator mentioned on the board is this refrigerator Shyla-oh it is very nice. What is the discount? Gayan-oh it has 20% of discount Shyla-oh is it so I’m going to buy it [A lot more conversations and the girl pays and leaves]     Back at the shop Gayan is speaking with Thusath Thusath-oh it seems like that the refrigerator has been sold out Gayan-yes of course sir. Thusath-what was the price Gayan- it was …………………………… rupees Thusath-you moron what was the discount I thought that it was 6% [Gayan looking a bit astonished and little bit later as he remembered everything he become very scared] Thusath-[nearly shouting] tell me at once what the discount was Gayan-it is 20% [Thusath I now barely controlling his anger and shouts at Gayan] Thusath-do you know how much did I lost because of your foolish thing lost ………………… this much are you stile telling that you calculated rightly. You are the foolish boy that I have ever met. [There is a lot more discussion about percentages in this drama.]     -By Chamudi Semini Athapaththu                                         Publication Date: February 24th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-ps5056e1af34d45

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-moodyslibary-the-things-that-change-us/

moodyslibary The Things That Change Us. when you get older things changes, the world changes Burdens and secrets Something’s don’t appear to what they really are; there are secrets that we may never know. But when we know, what do we do with it? Can we go on living with it, how can we deal with it? The things we soon find out can change our perspective on anything. It’s strange how things change so quickly when you’re grown up. Its best to know the challenging and surprising things when you’re grown up, you really think about things and it’s also easier to handle the change better. Like losing a loved one, or having a broken heart, finding out about a death threatening disease that you have that shortens your life, or looking at the news on TV and looking at a terrible tragedies that happen hours ago, being cheated, and realizing the world is not always as bright and happy as it seems. I wonder what’s harder finding out the secrets or keeping them from your friends, family, and doctor. All of this is the burden that we hold in our lives. These are the things that change us. When we keep these it all depends on how we handle it that changes us in way that molds our future. Text: moodyslibary Editing: moodyslibary Translation: english All rights reserved. Publication Date: June 29th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-moodyslibary

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-mercades-licht-promise/

Mercades Licht Promise Bad karma here, there, everywhere. Chapter One My name is Ginger Sans and as with my name I am a ginger. People say redheads have tempers, that they have no soul, that there evil, that they are cursed and back in the old days they were accused of witchery. I can for a fact say that I am not evil, I'm 100% good and I don't exactly have a temper, I'm not a witch that I'm a aware of, but I can say that I'm cursed. Cursed with bad Karma. My sister and I made a pact when we were little, that if we did something that accidentally injured the other person, that we would give an oath to do something for the rest of our lives if we were the cause of the accident. With my bad luck, I had to promise all the time. And then a really bad accident happened and I was sort of the cause of that, and it put my sister in a coma for a few days. At first everything was okay, my sister was a player and the most popular in school and I like one of the guys, couldn't get a boyfriend because they only thought of me as a sister, but my sister got every guy she wanted,  even the guys I had feelings for and would never get. I wish I wasn't cursed with this bad luck streak that I have going on, if it wasn't my fault my sister wouldn't of been badly hurt, making me have to swear to an oath that I might not ever pay off because of my stupid-carma ideotic mistake. Because of it I might not ever be able to fall in love since apposed from my sister, every guy I've dated and started to think I might have found the "One" until he meets my sister then that unfortunate thought flight right back out the window, where it should have stayed. The "Family ruiunion" with my sister meeting my boyfriend almost always has the male lusting for her, with her long dark blond hair, tane skinny figure, pretty lips that draws all males to have to stare at them (I've noticed), pretty high cheekbones, light green eyes, and the way she likes showing off her body so much has almost every male and lesbian population staring at her with lust as she walks by. Me, I don't like dressing up and making myself look pretty just to make guys want me (the few times I've tried it, it just didn't seem to matter to my friends, I was still there sister.) A different apperance doesn't change your personality. I can't get a guy that I like to drule over me or to even like me and think of me as more than a sister. Yes, I've gotten a few boyfriends but they where just blind dates I've gone on because of my brothers from another mother because they know about the Oath and want to try to make me have a happy relationship that ends well instead of bad. It no use though, either the guy doesn't like me that way and wants to be another "Brother" or he does want to date me just to try to gives us a chance and see where it leaves, or he meets my sister and wants her (which I let him go without a fight because its no use to try to stop them) or the Oath comes into play.  Like I said, my sister always gets what she wants. Including the guys.   5 Years Ago   "Brittaney! Come on we need to go!" I shout to my sister over the really loud music as I grab a hold of her arm and start pulling her away from the guy she is curently locking lips with and grinding against. I barily surpress a heave as I pull her along with me. "Ginger, let me go! I'll see you in the morning!" Yells Brittany as she trys to escape my grasp and go back to the guy she was dry humping just a few moments ago. I don't release my hold on her even when she digs her nails into my skin. I feel a sticky liqued start to trickle down my hand, but ignore it as I manurvour us through the crowded house to the front door. I'm jerked to a halt when someone yanks from the other end. I jerk around to see the guy that was trying to get it on with my sister just moments before I jerked her away. "Hey baby! Where you think your going?" He hallors to Brittany when she couldn't hear him the first time over the loud pounding music, pulsing through the speakers. "No where!" Brittany yells back as yanks me with her so she closes the gap between her and Tall dude. When I jerk her back torwards me and try to tell her that its time to leave, Tall Dude grabs my wrist and sqeezes. My hand starts to ach and I clench my teeth when I feel a sharp pang go up my arm but I keep my grip. My sister smiles drunkenly at me as she whispers something to Tall Dude and what ever it was it made him squez my wrist harder. My hand grows numb and I fight to keep my grip on my sister, when Tall Dude suddenly jerks my hand to the side and then back making me cry out and let go of my sister and cradle my right hand to my chest. I wiggle my fingers a tad bit and hope that he didn't break my wrist. I hear a giggle and look over at my sister and see the blond guy has grabed her by the ass and pulled her against him and then they lip lock. I try in vain to pull my sister away from him (being the only one sober sucks when the only person you know at a party is drunk and doesn't want anything but sex.) After a brief whisper from her to him, I see the blond guy let go of her and thinking that Brittany reluctantly told him to had to go, I start to pull her with me through the see of drunken bodies when out of no where a hand comes into contact with my face, jerking it sideways, backing me up a few inches into a couple where I bounce off the male and fall to the floor. Pain hits me, not so much from the slap as from the person who delivered it. I look up at my sister when she walks torwards me, even if I wasn't on the ground she would've still toward over me (I may be older, but I always seem to be the youngest compared to her.) She sqates down to my level and yells, "Your my sister, your supposed to act like my friend not my boss! Our parents are dead because you and you seem so happy about it too! You need to learn how to stay out of my afairs and leave my damn ex's alone, I'm done letting you have my left overs! Now leave before I have him do the same thing to your other hand!" This last part she yells with a tilt of her head towards the Tall blond. Scared I scramble backwards on my one good hand and try to pick myself up off the floor. After a few attemps I get up, craddling my right hand, and take off running in the opposite direction. I don't get very far before someone sticks out their foot and trips me, knocking my feet out from under me to were I crash to the floor. I throw both hands out to catch me as the ground rushes up to meet me and then cry out when smack the ground with my right hand. Instead of trying to get up I just lay there, folding into myself and craddling my right hand to my chest as I sob. The people around me make a small circle, but, it was like they didn't see me, even though they made a small space around me. Sobbing, I lift my head up a bit and stare at me sister, but she's already resuming what she was doing before. Closing my eyes I let the tears fall and try not to make a sound. What feels like a few hours, which must've only been a few minutes, I feel strong hands slid under the back of my knees and the other around my waste and lift me up. Not opening my eyes to see where the person is taking me I just bury my face in the crook of his kneck and clutch at their shirt as I sob. The person sits down in a chair somewhere (or its a couch) and wraps their arms tightly around my, cradling me close to thier chest. I feel my hair being brushed aside and then cheek brushes up against mine and a voice starts to whisper soothing words into my ear. Even though I already assumed it was a guy I get confirmination when I hear his musculin voice whisper to me that everything is ok, that he won't let anything bad happen to me. I know that what he says is a lie, but its comforting hearing the words. Publication Date: October 26th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-scaredbydarkness

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-soontobefamous-dear-diary/

soontobefamous Dear Diary. (a girls life that comes plumiting down on her) Dear Diary, when i asked my friend to ask this new guy named kevin to see if he liked me when she went to go ask him she came back giggling she told me that he said he didnt like me because i looked like a walking king kong. then after kimberly had her laughing fit i ran out of the cafeteria and went into the girls bathroom and started crying. but i need to look for a way to lose wait in alittle bit of time. ~ Elana looks on the internet to find ways to lose weight and quickley. and then she sees this girl who weighs like 2 pounds! and she stuck her finger down her throat and regirgatates her food so she wanted to try it out for a month to see if it would work on her. so that night after she had dinner she went into the bathroom and did it. although she felt horribble she claired that she had seen a difference in herself but she knew she was fooling herself. ~ Dear Diary, i tried this new thing to help me lose weight. so far i think its working! i can see improvements already when my my friend melony comes over i am SO gonna show her!!!!!!!!! ~ Elana s friend melony came over and she told her all about it. but she had to go to the bathroom real quick while she was in the bathroom melonny look through the drawers and found elana s diary when she read it she JUST had to tell everybody TO BE CONTINUED..................... Publication Date: June 13th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-soontobefamous

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catt7700 love I love him and I love me Publication Date: August 10th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-cat7700

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-megan-bretbrunner-twitanic/

megan bretbrunner twitanic chapter one omg Rpov. I was sitting making pottory when so ething caught my eye a drawing of a young woman witch was me I emediatly called the station "hello I was sundering if you have found the heart of the ocean," I asked. "Ok you have my attention fan you tell me who the woman in picture is?" He asked. "Oh yes the woman in the picture is me," I said. The next thing I know I was ion my way to the boat then we land. "Hello," he said. They took me too our room. We got on the sub when John said. "Can you tell us what happened on the titanic?" He asked . "Are you going to tell?" I asked. "Yes," he answered. "Then I cant tell you," I said. "Why?" He asked. "I promised I wouldn't tell a soul abount me or jack," I smirked. Then suddenly I Skipton on a puddle and got soled l. Ten seconds later I grew my golden tail. "Fine since you just found out my secret I'll tell you but you have to promise not to tell what you here," I said. They nodded. ... 84 years ago... I got out of the carrege "I don't see what all the fuss is about," I said. We walked to my room. "Mom I have something to tell you," I said. "What," she asked. "You know how I have been acting strainge for a while?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "I'm a...a...mermaid," I said. "Stop kissing," she said. "I can show you," I said as I grabbed a glass of water and poured it on me. Ten seconds later I grope my golden tail. "Oh my," my mom said shocked. "Don't tell," I told her. She nodded. "Now I have something else to show you I clenched my fist and steam came from my tail. Then when I was dry I looked at her she had a scared loook on her face. "Don't worry mom its not bad I was just heating yup my tail," I said. "How?" She asked. "I can heat things that's my power," I told her, I could even make things boil and I can make things catch on fire and make lightning," I told her. " show me," she said. I made a fist and our douche fought on fire. "How is this possible?" She asked. "Well I was exploring then when I was in the ocean I found this cave when I surfaced there was a full moon above me then the water started to glow then the next day I found out," I said. I'm going to go out side," I told her she nodded. I went to the Rim of the boat I leaned over then I started to climb over so I could drop as you asked the cold does not effect me since I'm calf fish. As I was a about to dive in I heard someone behind me say, "don't do it!" He shouted. "Why not," I said. "Well ma'am you'll die," he said. "No I won't it's just like cliff diving," I said. "I know but it's just it's fourth degree water," he said. "You don't know me," I said. "Fine," I said I grabbed his hand. Suddenly my high heal slipped I was now hanging off the ship he finally pulled me over I landed on him I heard a poof and were the man was was a small orenge cat. "Omg!!" I screamed. "Oh crap the cat said,". "Oh my gosh it can talk," I screamed. "Will you shut up," I t said to me. "Uh who are you," I asked him. "Jack sigma," he said. "Rose dewhimpeycater. "I'll have to write that one down," said the cat or jack. "Uh why did you turn into a cat when I landed on you" I asked. "Its called the sigma curse whenever someone in the family gets hugged by the opposite sex or get weak we turn into a animal of the twelve zodeacts, " he said. " uh by thee way I'm a mermaid," I said to him as if I was talking about the weather. "Really," he asked. There was another poor and a naked jack. "Were are my clothes?" He asked. "Over there" I said covering my eyes. "Ok so show me. Your tail," I said. "Say please," I teased him. "Fine please," he said. I spit on my arm and then my tail appeared I fell to the ground. "Wow," he said. "I could say the. Same thing about you," I told him. He laughed. "Wanna see my powers I'm going to use one right now," I told him and he nodded. I clenched my fist and dried my tail. "And that was heating I can also set things on fire and make lightning," I said he gasped l. chapter two a spark. Jpov I looked at her I had never met anyone that didn't freak out that I was a cat I looked at my bract. Let she would If she saw my true form. "Hey rose wanna go for a walk," she asked. I walked with her and we both explained about what we were thought I kept my true form a secret we talked about how she turned and how good the weathers been. When she looked at me and said. " I thought I was the only one who was different," she said smiling at me then went to hug me I hugged her back then suddenly I hear a poor then I remembered. She picked me up I crisped onto her shoulder and licked her nose she laughed. "Hey stop it tickles jack," she said laughing. " sorry," I said. "I don't like water either," I told her. " why?" She asked. " it comes from being born with the cat," I told her. I better get off her shoulder in case I transform. I leaped onto the bench. I transformed and saw a embarrassed. Rose sitting next to me. We talked for a little while longer then I invited her to a party she said yes. I came to get her. We went down to third class. We sat at a table while everyone else danced I wish I could do that dance but it involves hugging rose. I ordered a beer so did rose. Then we got drunk and I said. " follow me," I said drunkly. " ok," she said. We walked to edge of the boat, " have I shown you my I asked her. "No," she giggled. "Look," I giggled as I slid of the bracelet then I snapped back in reality I started to transform she gasped. "Don't be af raid," I told her. "Ok," she said. Then she did something no one would ever do she hugged me when I was in my true form I I kind of looked like a brown mister but I still could use my arms so I hugged her back I had never felt this happy suddenly I transformed back into a person but safely we were still hugging so I turned into a cat. She was still very drunk but then she whispered in my ear "I love you," she giggled. I licked her. On the cheek. I transformed back soon we went back to the party. "Hello," she shouted every one went silent. "I wanna show you something" she giggled. She grabbed a mans water and poured ot on her self I dashed to catch her then I repose I kind of hugged her there was a poor we both transformed at the same time. chapter 3 exposed. Publication Date: February 12th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-megangirl23

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Malia Tyree Wonders Wonders Of A Girl To my sisters, brothers, and mother!!! Publication Date: July 1st 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-mousie1031

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ireland-shaye-our-world-today/

Ireland shaye our world today our world today Dedicated to my mom and big sis Chasity for helping me in life while i live in our world today! Our world today is trashy and horrible with nudity and demans is that all that matters no none of that should even exsiset we should go for god not nudity we should go for the lord anot demans we shouls nice and go to heaven instead of being rebellious and going to hell I am here to teach about todays stars and why they are bad for your lives and how web all need ato change our ways Publication Date: July 9th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-shayelyne

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-adriana-vass-poems/

Adriana Vass Poems... "REFLECTION"   Come home from school and immidately undress, Stand in front of the mirror, So fat from all the stress, "Why cant I be perfect?" I whisper to my reflection, "No more food" I say, Looking at my pale complexion,   Get dressed and hurry to my isolation, My room is my savior from all this devestation, Hide under the covers that console me, Mom will be home soon, She will try and make me eat, So I turn out the lights,  And pretend to be asleep,   Footsteps and yelling, Oh no not again, Moms yelling at dad, She never was good with men, She opens my door and I try not to move, But she knows im not sleeping, My acting needs to improve,   I sit up and shes sad,  But i stay silent, The reflection keeps playing in my mind, My mind becomes violent, Thoughts burn, Eyes teary, She grabs me,  She looks weary,   I get up and run to the demon that i hate, the reflection that has ruined me, My cries are blate, "You cant define me!!" I yell louder than expected, Dont look in your reflection, Because you too will be infected.                 "HATE" "I hate you" I whisper,   My eyes grow watery, Though im talking to myself, Have I gone crazy?, Hate is filled within me, I begin to wonder if things have changed,   Maybe im not the same, Maybe the person that I see in the the mirror is fake, Im pretend, My life is a lie, I think everything is okay until I finally break, I get up and wander around a room I once found happy, But now is a place of sadness and grief,   "I hate you" I repeat as I look in the mirror, I guess I have gone crazy, Im alone with no one, My thoughts engulf me, I begin to think this is all a dream, Can I wake up?, This is a nightmare,   I roll up my sleeve and see the lines of my past, Did I do this?, Im my own monster, I hate what I have become, My head pounds, Im angry now,   "I HATE YOU" I yell at the top of my lungs, I grab the mirror, My thoughts race as the hate rises, I throw it to the floor, I am crazy, But only for one reason, Hate.       "ADDICT" Little colorful pills, Oh how you make me happy, You take me from reality, And make me feel less crappy, You let me resist the urge to seek reality, I let you take my stability,   You almost let me die, But its okay because im back, Only to take more of you, My vision goes black, I see colors, Almost as beautiful as you,   You control me, My emotions and all, You let me laugh at things that hurt me, Like when I stumble and fall, You let people take advantage of me, Why?, You were supposed to keep me safe,   Guys all up on me,  But you dont let me care, As long as im numb, And can only feel my shallow breaths of air, They take advantage and a tear rolls down my cheek, But later i'll take more of you, To erase what happened this week,   I stumble to the bathroom, for just one more line, I fall to the floor, You take what was mine, My thoughts and emotions, Are yours to control, I grab my weed, And pack my bowl,   I hit hit hit until I cant breathe, I feel cold, The line was laced, Its about time, My reality was finally erased.       "SUICIDE"   8 years old: You lay your head on the window, with a cup of tea in your tiny hands, along with your stuffed bear, watching the tree's blow in sync with the wind, knowing your getting sleepy so you climb into bed, you keep an eye on the window, watching the stars dance in the sky.   12 years old: You come home with tears in your eyes, with the feeling of hurt in your heart, you throw yourself onto your bed, caressing the one stuffed bear you kept no matter how baby-ish it is, your breathing slows down,  and your mind starts racing, you feel like you no longer belong.   16 years old: Your laying on the bathroom floor, with blood-stained wrists, and the stench of alcohal on your clothes, you bring the bottle to your lips, to make the memories of being hurt just disappear, you lie restless with bags under your eyes, and grab the glass once again to feel numb.   20 years old: Your watching from above, more sad then before, you thought you were hurt then but you just wanna go back, whats done is done, you tell god to watch over your family,  and for him to forgive them for hurting you all these years, you continue to watch people lay roses, daisies, and lily's on your grave.         Publication Date: October 20th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-tje8e1a48c23065

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-christal-forbes-teenragers/

Christal Forbes TeenRagers Girls only... My typical school friends are nothing like the friends in this book but i know my one friend Sharlvera Browne who would be a bit like them! Thank You all for your support! Text: Do Not Thief My Wrtings Please! All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 1st 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-christwixie1996

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-diamond-forte-hear-my-cries/

Diamond Forte, DIAMOND WASHINGTON HEAR MY CRIES THE REAL TOCCARA I DEDICATE THIS BOOK TO MY SISTER Wow I hate my Life kinda Today was like any regular day I wake up to hear my mom and dad yelling and cussing at each other. Untill I heard my dad say " IM LEAVING AND IM NOT COMING BACK FOR NONE OF YOU DUMB  B!@$ #*. I couldnt help but cry and I have to go to school this morning and be the only kid with the most horrible life. I hopped out of bed and  jumped in the car to get a ride from my friend Kimberly who goes to the same High School as me John F. Kennedy and we both are still loving HS as long as it lasts. Do I have to see you go My dad left and I dont think he will be back today so the only thing I can hear is my mom yelling my name Toccara. Im getting kinda annoyed. My mom looks so depressed and I really don't like her looking sad because when my mom looks sad I have to deal with it. Kimberly is coming over today to help me with my math homework and text this boy named Marcellus. I know Marcellus likes me all we do is stare at each other and have these dreamy eyes. I DO OR DO I HAVE A CHOICE I have to go to bed at 10:00 o clock but me and Marcellus keeps talking and I dont know if I should tell him that I like Him or If he should tell me. Marcellus is that type of guy that its gonna take a while before he gets the guts to tell you anything. I can't believe that I have this dumb crush on him and he likes me to. This feeling made me feel happy but it also makes me feel like im loved by someone. OH NO HE DIDN'T I showed up at school with Kimberly, Talaya , and Chenelle and we all piled out of the and did our YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME CUZ IM TO FLY FOR YOU TO TOUCH walk down the parking lot of our school when I seen that ugly little girl and skank TIA talking to Marcellus and I know that me and Marcellus aern't together but it's as though that we are. So I instantly walked over there and said WASSUP ARE YOU BUSY OR CAN I ASK YOU IF YOU WANNA GO TO THE LIBARY AFTER SCHOOL I NEED HELP ON MY MATH?!?!?!? Marcellus looked at me and started to smile at me and said that YEAH I CAN DO THAT AFTER SCHOOL YOU KNOW I AIN'T BUSY WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO YOU. I could't help but smile and TIA didn't like that so she said DO YOU HAVE ANY TIME FOR US TOGETHER? I could tell he wanted to say something to hurt her feelings but he just said  WHAT DO WE HAVE TOGETHER? YOU AND ME ARE THRU AND THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN ME AND YOU I JUST WAS FEELING SORRY FOR YOU BECAUSE NO BOY WANTED TO DATE YOU. I didn't know what to do but look at her like aern't you going to say something. But she just stood there in disbelief and tears filling her eyes. I wanted to laugh so bad but I knew that would be wrong so I just laughed inside and played it off on the out side. Next TIA  stormed away and thought Marcellus was going to run after her but he just sat there laughing and saying things like IF YOU WERE MY GIRLFRIEND. I told KImberly ,Talaya , and Chenelle what he was saying and they were looking at me as if they were high or drunk or something then Kimberly said  IS IT OFFICIAL. I said that I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW THAT YET. OMG YOU NO IT :) So me Jalaya , Kimberly , and Chenelle was on our way out the school door when Marcellus stopped us and we looked at him like YES. Marcellus said TOCCARA IS IT OK IF I CAN TALK TO YOU ? I said SURE. WHAT YOU WANT? Marcellus said ARE YOU SINGLE? I was like YES. Marecellus said WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO WITH ME? I said OMG YOU KNOW IT. Know you no my friends cant keep up with me because all they do is call me but im busy but on Monday Marcellus be acting like he is always busy doing something when ijust saw him at school. I know he has a liife but he doesnt even call on monday we talk in school and chill on our way home when he drops me off but then he wont even say call me later he just says by and he pulls off. But I love him so Im not goning to let that come between us. He asked me if I wanna move with him but I dont exactly know that answer to that question yet. I do wanna move wth him but then thats going to bring drama to my mom and she has enough drama in her life. YOU SURE Marcellus asked me again today but if he wants me to then maybe Ill give it a chance. I wont think it will be a problem with me living with someone I love. Marcellus doesnt know that I love him yet Im scared to tell him. Text: YES Images: NO Editing: YES Translation: ME All rights reserved. Publication Date: June 4th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-oq30226323c4a15

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-reylinn-sutcliff-let-039-s-rant/

Reylinn Sutcliff Let's Rant! All of my fellow ranters! =Welcome= Hello all! So, some of you may have read some of my books before. Some of you may actually know me and we talk frequently. And some of you may have NO idea what you are doing here or how you got here. But no matter who you are or why you are here, I want to welcome you! This book is going to be filled with random ranting and sometimes just complete randomness in general. Anyhow, you already know that if you read the description. This first chapter isn't actually a rant. It's basically everything you need to know about me sooooo; Me name is Rey. My age is irrelivant. My location is irrelivant as well. I LOVE anime. My favorite anime is Black Butler. I also love music. My favorite bands are SLeeping with Sirens, Black Viel Brides, and Hollywood Undead. I skate. Skateboard, ice skate, roller skate.... it's all awesome. I wear black a lot. Not because I am emo or goth but because.... I dunno. Cx I love horror anything! Games, music, movies.... I live for Halloween. People always flirt with me *sighs* A lot. All the time. It annoys me but do they care? NOPE. Oh, and I am really sarcastic, if you haven't noticed. I am currently leanring Japanese, German, French, and Spanish.   And my looks? Reeeeally long brown fluffy hair, blue eyes, black glasses, and usually random bracelets are all over my wrists. And I also wear beanies a lot cause I sometimes just don't feel like fighting with my hair.... ehehe.   Ah, and I like roleplaying! It is totally fun.   Anyhow, enough about me. Let's get to ranting, shall we? Respect Alright, so most of you have probably heard the words, "Respect your elders." I know I have heard it. All the time people tell me to respect my elders. But you know, my elders don't respect me. So why should I respect them? Anybody else run into this before? I mean, I am walking down the street, and I notice this old lady glaring at me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it is because I am wearing all black. Probably. Most people have issues with the colors I wear. Pray tell, why would she glare at me? Does she know me? NOPE. So, remembering the words "Respect your elders" I force a smile at this crow-looking woman and do you know what she does? SHe glares at me a little more, then turn around and walks away. No smiles back. Nothing. Just more anger for no reason.   Alright but wait I have more. What about when people call you names, (whore, slut, hoe) even though they don't know anything about you? So much for respect. Man, I think I just saw respect fly out of the window. These people don't even have the word respect in their vocabulary. So I have this little story. I have a friend, right? He is totally cool. He and I hang out a lot, usually with my brother, his sister, and a couple friends. Well one day we are all hanging out, and he tells me his older sister called me a whore.   Best part? I have never met his sister- and she has never met me. And I also found out why she called me a whore. Can you guess why? It's because she thinks I like her brother (my friend.) How petty is that?   Ridiculous. Guys, people like these are haters. They ain't got any respect for anybody or anything. And you know what you say to these people? "Deuces." Can You Not  I am so tired of people being so arrogant.   I know this guy, right? His dad is a lawyer, so growing up, this guy basically had the world handed to him on a silver platter. Now, he works with his dad sort of, but he is trying to get his "five seconds of fame" and he thinks he is so talented and cool. He even made an album. He thinks he is gonna be some famous singer- the next Fall Out Boy or whatever. But this dude can't sing. I am so serious right now.... this guy has the worst voice in the world. He isn't gonna be even a little famous. But he doesn't listen to anybody. And this guy thinks he is better than everyone else. Always acting like a know-it-all and making sure you know when you are wrong. (Which is almost all the time). And if you prove him wrong? Better watch out. This man throws tantrums like a two-year old little girl. Ah, and another great thing about him? He thinks he can get any girl he wants to sleep with him. He has been chasing after a friend of mine for a while now. About two years? I think he sees her as a challenge because he wont leave her alone.   And I told him to back off of my friend. I told him a lot of very mean things. (Note, I am very mean to him. All the time. He hates me. I hate him.) And do you know what he did? He plastered this stupid smug smile on his face and said over and over again, "Calm down, dearie." (Mind you, he knows I hate it when he says "dearie" cause that used to be my word."   This guy is just the worst person to deal with. Him and every other human like him. They seriously need to carry a potted plant around with them to make up for all the oxygen they are wasting.     Sorry, that last part was a little harsh. Spelling I know we all make mistakes. And many of those mistakes are spelling mistakes. Especially now that we have autocorrect- that jerk who follows us around and decides to make fools out of us. But then there are the times we make fools out of ourselves. Because we apparently don't have the common sense to look up a word or ask how it's spelled. And we end up saying things like, "I want to watch anime without subtittles."   Subtittles, guys. She wanted to watch anime without sub tittles.   Now, being myself, right after I read this persons statement about wanting to watch anime without subTITTLES, I died of laughter. I found myself laughing so hard I couldn't breath. (Most of you probably think that was immature of me. You are totally right. But do I care? Nah.)   Because I think all of you guys are great, I want you to do something for me so you never embaress yourself like this. I want you to ALWAYS READ WHAT YOU WRITE BEFORE YOU SEND IT. ALWAYS. Because in complete honesty, I have made myself look like an idiot due to spelling errors as well (Although it was autocorrect both times).   Here are some things that might make you laugh (Yes. All of these are things I have said. Except for the second one... that was my friends spelling error.) "I'll be back in a sex." "OMFG DO NOT READ THAT I MEANT SEC." "My mom told me to shit it off." "WOW. I mean *****SHUT" "Dads masturbating the lawn right now." "Mowing. Seriously autocorrect?! Masturbating the lawn?!"   So again. Always read what you type before you send it. Girls+Fighting  Most girls can't fight. Most girls are too dainty and girlish to get their hands dirty.   That is just a fact of life.   But if a girl says she will beat you up, why not believe her?   Okay so you see, this kid decided he had the audacity to call my brother "gay". My brother, not really being the fighting type, came and told me. So I go outside and tell this kid to back off before I hurt him. And you know what this kid says? He basically tells me that I wont.... no wait, I can't do anything because I am a girl. Hm. Because I am a girl. Ohhhh yeah, which means I don't know how to throw a punch, right? WRONG. My father has taught me self defense, my uncle has taught me ways to bring down grown men with only a knuckle. Please do not ever tell me that I can't hurt you because I am a girl. Or else you will find yourself in a very uncomfortable postion, much like the one that the kid in this story found himself in.   I just love it when people say I can't hurt them. It brings me great joy to prove them wrong. Moral of the story? Don't cross me and then say I can't hurt you. Actually, don't cross anyone and say they can't do anything to you. Because there is a 67% chance that they actually can fight way better than you. Flirting  I am so sick of flirts. They are every where. And the worst part? They are like cockroaches. Where there is one, there is many. I get it, though. You see a "pretty girl" with long hair, black combat boots, black jeans, and a hoodie and your first thought it, "I should say some derrogatory things to make this girl want to beat me up." Am I right? No? Oh, well that is what SEEMS to go through your mind.   I mean, again, where is the respect these days? You don't bark at a girl unless you want her to flip you off. You dont respond with "Anytime any place" when a girl says "Fuck you." You don't catcall. You politely, like a gentleman, open a door for this young lady, or you nicely ask her name. You don't act like a sex driven douche bag who wants nothing more to get in someones pants.   I mean seriously. To all you males out there: start thinking with your upstairs brain. Your penis should not make desicions for you. Girls (at least the ones that are worth something) do not like perverted guys. I mean, if you are dating a guy and he is a bit of a perv, that's one thing. But when a random guy comes up to you and decides he can just puts his hands all over you, that's a TOTALLY different thing. Do something like that, and you will find yourself with broken fingers, my friend.   Be Honest  Alright, let's have some straight up honesty here. What do you guys think of me? Because recently, I have found out (from rumors, mind you), that I- 1.) Am a slut 2.) Need a better music tatse (I hate this one. I love my music, thank you.) 3.) Too tall (Whatever that means) 4.) Flirt with everyone 5.) A dork cause I like anime (I honestly think this one should be a compliment) And a few other things. Now, see, I know I am cocky. I know I am mean, and violent. I know I am soooo very sarcastic and have a very dark sense of humor. I know I act a bit like a guy and hang around males more than females. *shrugs* Sue me. That's just who I am.   So anyhow, what are your guys' opinions? Honestly? I am sick of secrets so ._. Those Kind of People That Just....  Okay so recently, and amigo of mine contributed a couple of rants to this book. Here is one. "I have a fellow classmate in high school who will bitch about anything and everything. The weather, the temperature, how many times he jacks off? Seriously? NO one needs to know that. This guy is like the stereotypical teenage girl to the extreme. And if anyone dares to try to stop him or contradict him in any way, he will say "Person, Imma slap you so hard." This makes me want to give him a foot long to the face. But that's not all. He will probe into your life, and ask you questions from if you've had a phone to if you've watched porn! Seriously? This makes me wish it was the 60s so i could knock his block off and they'd say "Boys will be boys." "   ......Can we just have a moment of silence for this friend of mine? I mean, dealing with people like this and having the self control to NOT hurt this dude.... that's talent, right there.   But seriously, on to the ranting. First of all, this guy my friend mentioned (we are gonna call him.... Pedo. Cause he seems like one.) Alright so Pedo needs to realize that NOBODY CARES HOW MANY TIMES YOU JACK OFF. If any of you reading this feel the urge to tell people how many times you jack off, please go sit in a corner and think about life because NO. THAT IS JUST A WHOLE LOT OF NOPE RIGHT THERE. It's great and all that you jack off, but-news flash- nobody cares! I know that may come as a shock, but it's true! Second, the whole "Person, imma slap you so hard" comment? Reeeeeeaaaaally? Are ya sure? Cause you seem like the type of guy who is all bark and no bite. I mean, do you even know how to throw a punch correctly? Probably not. Also, if someone is telling you about a problem they got with you, you don't say things like that. You listen. And if you don't like what they have to say, you walk away. Stop with the empty threats and obnoxiousness. Third..... Dearest Pedo, if you are reading this by any chance- YOU DO NOT PROBE INTO PEOPLES LIVES. Doing things like that just screams "I am immature, creepy, probably worship Selena Gomez, and am very insecure." I mean, if you have known the person a while or whatever, it's not as weird. But just popping off with questions like "So, hey. You watch porn?" is totally not cool. Actually, that is a good way to get beat up (at least it is if you live where I live.)   So, my lovely readers, I ask you to step back and take a good look at yourself. If you are ANYTHING like Pedo, you may want to make some serious changes. Or not. I mean, I guess it's up to you. You could either be cool, or a totally gross freak. Your choice completely. Arrogant Idiots Alright so first, some of you know that I am learning Japanese. Well, there is this guy. We will call him "Dick" for now, because that is exactly what he is- an arrogant dick. So, I am in a class session and Watanabe Sensei is letting us speak so she can hear our intonations, and Dick wont turn off his mic! He keeps trying to teach /with/ sensei! Well this guy was in karate. So because Dick was in karate and has learned some Japanese, he thinks he somehow knows more than us peasants.   Bro. I have been watching anime for a while now. I spent my summer break studying Japanese. I spend a lot of time working on the intonations and hand writing. Where do you find the AUDACITY to act like you are better than me somehow? I mean, you can HEAR the arrogance in Dicks voice. I just can't STAND THIS GUY. Just..... why do people have to be so arrogant? Relationships  OKAY SO RECENTLY I HAVE NOTICED THAT LIKE NONE OF THE WORLDS POPULATION KNOWS WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS. A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT HAVING A PERSON TO TOUCH AND KISS AND USE AS AN ACCESORY OR SEX TOY. IF YOU THINK THAT IS WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS, YOU NEED HELP.   I am sorry guys but I am SICK and TIRED of seeing people be in a relationship for two days, exchange "I love you"'s like those three words don't mean anything, and then leaving eachother because they got "bored" or whatever. No No No No No Okay so first off, never ever ever ever ever EVER say "I love you" to someone unless you mean it with your entire being. You don't just like that person, you would DIE for that person. You know a lot about the person, you TRUST that person with your heart, you would do anything for that person, you love that persons good qualities AND their flaws you LOVE THEM. You don't just say it cause you're in a relationship! You say it cause you mean it! And you don't just throw those eight letters around whenever. You- again guys- say it WHEN YOU MEAN IT. Second, a relationship is so much more than what society makes it. It is having another half- a best friend. A person to share everything with and be with and never get tired of. The word "relationship" is not just a status. It's an actual /thing/ and it's amazing. Relationships are amazing if you are with the right person. I know because I have seen people in the right releationship before and it is one of the most beautiful things ever to exist. Oh, and, in a relationship, you should NOT try to make your significant other jealous. If you feel the need to do that, you are obviously not mature enough for a relationship. If you feel jealous because your boyfriend or girlfriend did something that made you jealous, TELL THEM. TELL THEM AND IF THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND, THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT. Another thing that shows they aren't worth it- if they cheat on you, look at other people, flirt with other people, or anything like that. Guys, do not stay in a relationship if you constantly feel jealius and insecure cause your companion is being a player. Those relationships are really bad for you. And if you have to act like someone else to make your significant other like you, again, they are not worth it.   So seriously guys, put some thought into your relationships. Don't just leave people cause you get bored, don't jump into a relationship without thinking, and don't be stupid.   Sorry if this chapter has a lot of typos. I feel a little under the weather today and I don't feel like proof reading it~ Singing In Japanese  This may come as a shock to some people, but it isn't easy to sing in Japanese! So yeah, go ahead and laugh as I fumble through Vocaloid lyrics, but how about YOU try to sing both parts of "Suki Kirai" by Len and Rin?! (For the record though, I totally nearly have that song down ^-^)   Seriously. I mean, thanks for saying I am weird for listening to Vocaloid and J-Pop, but would ya PLEASE take your opinions and rude remarks and annoying stares ELSEWHERE?!   *sighs* Short chapter, but serious anger. Tired of being judged cause I am not like the others. I am not with the "in-crowd" or whatever. My bad! I am soooo sorry that I can't stand half the songs they replay over and over again on the radio! I apologize for not wearing Uggs, hating flower print, and flower crowns, and not taking selfies.... I am so sorry!..... not. I like who I am. So go copulate with yourself. "Looks"  Okay, so a lot of people say I am pretty. A lot of people. I personally don't like myself. At all. I don't think I am pretty, funny, cool, I hate my voice and laugh, and I just.... don't like myself at all ._. But I don't go fishing for compliments, always saying I am ugly or denying stuff when people say I am pretty. But you know.... I wonder what would happen if I did like myself. I mean, honestly. I have noticed some things. When people say "Omg I am so ugly", everyone goes "Whatever! You look great", but when people say "Wow, I look good", people say "Chill your ego."   ???? I dunno, this just has me confused. I guess people are just never satisfied and we are all destined to whine about everything. Ye. I LOVE THESE SONGS  So I have recently come to love these songs (Yes, I am aware this chapter isn't a rant. Get over it.)   Isolation Thanatos- Rin Kagamine Balsam- Kaai Yuki Cover Handbeat Clocktower- Kaito   So yes these songs win at life Publication Date: November 27th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-rs1eab1d2e9ec55

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rosealie corsent i made a mistake the beginning It all started when my mom said hey what did u learn today at school? oh abunch of math. (i actually went to malindas,my friend) umm dont lie i got a call from ur school!where were u!? mom said. ok ok i went to malindas. my dad had just pulled in the driveway hi daddy i said hey cupcake,hey lisa (my mom) whens dinner? umm five? ok great its 4:54 said dad 5:00 came uh mom? i said yes,hun said mom can i speak with you outside sure she said (we go outside) what am i going to say im pregnat im sorry if i tell you will you get mad? i said of course not sweetie she said but, how can i trust you wont get mad because remember when i call malinda madlinda? i said of course i remember (but she didnt remember) well you got mad about that. i said ok so?she said wellits a little bigger than that. i said ok so whats the matter? she said im preagnat?! i said nervisly oh my gosh im so happy! she said what! i said oh wait your pregnat! she said (acting mad) will you tell dad? i said of course i will? i said she tells my dad and ignored me the rest of the night The next morning ill have to tell steve (the father) *ring ring* hello he said hey wanna come over we need to talk? i said sure how about 6ish? he said ok sure. i said steves reaction that night at 6 *nock nock* hey gabrialle. he said hey steve i said lets go now he said mom, im leaving now ok sweety at dinner hey umm steve yeah hun im pregnat what yeah cool so.. so what do you want to raise this baby with me if you dont you need to leave me! no im glad your pregnat ok so your not leaving me no i would never leave you! ok good TO BE COUNTINUED........ Publication Date: October 11th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-tickledpink9900

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shanta bernard The Truth Hurts *the breaking point* CHANEL While I sit here and think of all the bullshit that I've been threw with this man, He cheated mentally abused me maybe physically but not that  much and I stood by his side 100% ride or die and he is having a baby with someone else after he KNOWS that I cant have any kids. I dont know how to feel about the situation I am numb as I look at the clothes I burned in the front yard......But you know what, I am better than that this I need to let him go 6 years of drama and its time for me to do me let loose imma hit my girls up and go out for some drinks before I do something that I would regret in the long run. As I sat here on the phone with keesha explaining once again how he fucked me over and why I can't forgive him like I said fifty million time before to her, and also forgave him. She has been my friend since 8th grade I'm 38 now so she know all the details and the tribulations that we've been threw...Kees girl he did it again this time i am threw girl you know  that chick that live on the eastside we saw him with a couple of months ago that he said that was his 'HOMEGIRL" from school why she pregnant....."OMG" keesha said,  he crossed the line this time I understand that sometimes you think you should stick in there with him and lord knows chanel you've been there I have been that shoulder you cried on and he have the nerve to get the chick pregnant THIS NEEDS TO STOP imma need you to let his ass go. Than its his falut why you can't conceive if he wouldn't pushed you down the stairs a couple of years ago than you could of had a baby already.  Keesha started to cry.... I watch him destroy your life chanel and never said anything your too beautiful inside and out for him to be doing you like this Chanel. Keesha I know... when I said im done im done for real this time it is time for me to move on you know how many niggas holla  at me that have money cars which life is not about all of that but he dont have half of that. While I'm talking to keesha my heart just hurts its pounding im getting all kinds of flash backs, Keesha seriously I dont even wanna discuss it anymore i just wanna go to the mall shop for something to wear so we can go out tonite girl out with the old in with the new. The Past 2 Years Ago Where are you going, why everytime your friends calll you your up and running like you dont live with me and you dont have a relationship you was just out there five damn mintues ago when am I going to be able to spend some time with you. Glen I cannot be in this relationship with you and we dont spend no time together you run the streets all god damn day when I come home from work your not here I call you nonstop and you dont answer see you the next GOD DAMMIT AFTERNOON saying "you was chilling with your friends  last night got to drunk and past out" like I never heard that before. I am tired you think I'm fucking playing you can go, we've been together for four years already and it has been rocky you can get out I take care of my bills on my own i dont need you here..... Bitch shut the fuck up first off I dont be running the fucking streets I be taking care of business trying to hustle and keep money in both of our pockets you think I like you working and taking care of the bills by yahself when I had a job and cant get back on my feet... NO thats why if I can get any kind of money I'm on it 24 hrs a day before I met you I was a hustler and working I changed I calmed down for a minute but guess what I need to make money. I see you everyday sometimes a nigga nuts need to breathe you never give me no space chanel everytime we talk you either talking about some shit that I did to you in the past or what the fuck I'm  doing to you now(GLEN GO INTO HER FACE) but the funny shit is u never speak about what you did to me like I forgot... bitch if you don't like it leave me the fuck alone when I leave and dont come back dont fucking call me looking for me. Than you are  annoying all you do is complain and than wanna know why I dont wanna spend no time with yah nagging ass....(CHANEL)you just gonna walk out on me like that huh like I dont mean nothing to you, (GLEN)yes I am I have shit to do like I said you popping all that shit like you so better than me HUH WELL YOU NOT you fucked up worst than I did and you will never leave me thats why you been here all this time while I fucked you over and you never left cause you know nobody want you so sit yah ass down and chill out while I go out and take care of this business oh and give me the keys yo yah car ..... and so i did and I watched him walk out of the house I cried all night and like usual he didnt come home damn.....                                                  GLEN   Whats good yea I'm outside come on. As he sits in the front of this yellow house a dark skinned woman thick in the waist with her pink skirt on and white halter top holding her fendi back her long jet black hair pulled back in a ponytail as she walk down he's looking at her like damn. She gets in the car, what the hell took you so long I called you over an hour ago and you now just coming glen looks at her. Tiffany you know I just can't come and hop to when you want you know I'm with Chanel that shit be a fight and a half to get out the damn house. You call me all day everyday for dumb shit you wanna go out to the store, or to eat to chill like I still gotta woman at home even tho she not my wife I've been with for six years and I still gotta answer for this shit. Do I look like I care about yah girl at home I told you I like attention when we first met if you wasnt with giving me that attention than you can keep it moving I'm way to fly and have too many niggas that wanna get with this so if you cant get on the back of that bus than leave it alone. I am not holding no gun to yah head telling you we need to be together or feel like imma kill myself if you leave me(smurking) that's what chanel is for.. the drama I dont do...... I cause it and keep it moving so we going out or not cause?  If not I'm dressed I can find someone else that wants to go out that is not complaining about there bitch at home. As I sat there jaw dropped wanting to slap the shit out of this bitch but I cant she too damn fine and that pussy be wet like a motherfucka when I'm tearing that shit down everyday. Ma let me explain something to you first off dont fucking talk to me like that and yes we going out an yea you did let me know that you needed attention but damn not this much you better be glad you fine with some good ass pussy cause if not girl I would of went off on yah ass like 15 minutes ago.  Where you wanna go anywhere pick a place we can chill all night. Baby I wanna go to the bar on Cladon ST get me some wings and some drinks dance a lil bite with my daddy than come home and take care of that ass as she took her clean manicured nails and ran it from my ear lobe to the back of my neck sent chills down my spine. Aight ma we can do that. As we drove down Main st I had to stop and get me some dutches from the store so can i smoke me something before i get to the bar cause there's nothing like some drunk and high sex its not gonna take this bitch too many drinks before she fucked up so let me get myself prepared. Babe imma bout to run in this store real quick before we get there you want something from the store, yea imma go and get me something to snack on real fast didnt eat anything today and need to fill my stomach before i start to drink. So we gets out the car and my man chad n them on the strip getting that bread i slapped them up copped me another ounce of that loud while shorty was in the store im just asking my boys hows shit going in the hood. When she got out the store we went straight to the bar ready to turn up..... while were in there she dancing to lady saw "got yah man" she on her third drink i realize shorty dont got on no panties in the middle of the bars floor whinning singing the song ass just moving like some jello in a cup i wanna eat... damn as I am looking at her my dick is hard as i mothafucka i go walk up to her in the back and grab her small ass waist and put my dick print in the middle of her ass daddy ready to go we in the moddle of the floor just dancing and some bullshit just blew my high. This chick name keesha comes up to me "my girls bestfriend" all up in my shit like who is that where is chanel she asked me i told that bitch to mind her damn business, its all good glen cause imma tell chanel all thats going on. Tiffany ass turns around and tells her dont worry boo im just borrowing him she ll get him back after he eats my pussy tonight as soon i turn around keesha slaps the shit out of her and tiffany goes flying to the floor as soon as she goes running to jump on tiifany the bouncer is carrying her ass up outta here man i dont know what to do, imma have to go home and hear this shit from chanel  keesha gonna fuck everything up for me but right now i cant think about that i need to figure how tiffany gonna let me slide my dick in the wet pussy tonite before i go home and have to deal with before i go home and deal with this shit imma have to hear....sheesh the mistake ***GLEN*** Ok I may sound messed up to yall yeah I do chanel messed up I think about all the wrong doing I have done to her but she have done something to me that I just could not let go. Better yet it wasnt like I couldnt let it go I could't forget and yeah she said it was a mistake and yea I told her that we was good but at the end of the day see what yall female dont get is a woman reguardless if she is ugly or not she don't need to work hard for a nigga she can look like SHIT its gonna be some nigga out there that is going to wife her up tear that shit down all day. Now with a man we gotta work...lie to these bitches make them seem as if they the number one and only in your heart if not you not getting nothing so Chanel when we first met I had to work hard as a bitch for her and she made me wait months for some pussy. Man she was bad I remember when I first saw her I worked at international bank on Main ST and she came in with her stone washed jeans on with her fly ass mui mui shoes on in red and black and her red and black prada bag and her red valentino shirt with red lip stick to match her hair blown down and yes it was real. When I mean I remember this day I remembered this day to the T when I saw her she was like looking at an angel the fell from the sky...she was thick in all the right places she was 34,24,38 man I never seen nothing like this chick she didnt have on no makeup at all. She was beauitful inside and out just lip stick to make them full lips shine.so she comes up to me and wants to take money out of her account I'm just stunned when she talks she is humble not rachet like them bitches im used to. we exhchanged numbers for the next couple of weeks all we did was talk on the phone all day and night when she wasnt at work.  We learned so much about each other i found out that she was a lawyer and worked at one of the most top law firms for the city and she does not go out like tha,t she has no kids, shes been single for five years since her last man left her all she worried about was working an trying to own her own law firm one day she did it so much that she secluded herself from going out enjoying herself and the finding love. When i found all this out about her i was kiind of ashamed being that i was a NIGGA that lived in the hood worked at a bank so i can put the money away i was getting in the streets, that was my cover up it was a good job but it was nothing like the money i was getting from hustling i didnt know how to break my life down to this woman whether if she was going to accept me for me or if she was going to just throw me back where she found me at. I decided to take it slow learn more about her before i could bring the real me into this relationship. The first date we go out to one of the famous restarants there is you know a nigga trying show you not the only one with money. I take her to chops lobster bar being earlier in the week while we was talking that she said she loves seafood we order and get drinks and talked about the past and the future what we like about each other. She tells me the horrible growing up she had without her mom and her dad was a hustler from the same hood i get money in. How he loved her so much she lived so i 'LAVISH' life when she was younger he gave her anything and everything that she ever wanted until that day came he was taken from her.  He was killed in the street shot in the head, when you getting it hard out here envy is going to be on everyones mind and you can get laid out and thats what happened. When they finally caught the dude that killed her dad he wasnt served with anytime cause he claimed it was a self defense plus he had so much stuff on people in the hood that they cut the nigga a deal. From that day on she knew she couldnt let stuff like this happen to our black community it dont matter if he was the biggest drug dealer in the world she felt like no one has the right to take someone life thats up to the system to decide. while she was speaking to me i knew she was the one that i wanted to share the rest of my life with. Yeah she was sexy as hell and yes i wanted to tear her down but it wasnt about the sex at this time it was about me learning her in the inside. While im getting to know her we chilling almost everyday we have off but when we finally made love it was like heaven her ass was round perfect u sweeze it it was like pillow in her hand her pussy was so when and smelled like flowers as i licked her clit from top to ass back i lover evey moment of it her titties was so round and perfect they was like a 36 c cup and she rode me all night and it was like some white people shit i seen on tv how she moaned and the first time i made love to a bitch. For months eveything with chanel was going well i eventaully told her about my life and how i was a drug dealer and she respected it she just stayed a distance from my part of town cause of her reputation i had the best of both worlds i have my classy lady that was down and loved me more than life itself cause i was all she had and she was all i had. I eventaully let her meet my sister and my mom they fell in love with her instantly and i was in love. One year past i stopped going out hustling had my man rob hold down the fort cut him a percentage and just worked at the bank full time now we moved in together and i was ready to buy her that perfect ring that she had showed me in the store. Yea it was 15k but you know what nothing was too expensive for chanel money didnt buy this relationship cause she had her own and i save so that i had my own also so we didnt have any issue on that side. For days chanel was working late for about a month she was working on this big "CASE" a woman was killed by the poilce by accident when they was trying to catch a man  running when he was on the corner selling drugs. They was chasing him and simone the woman that was killed was in her early twenties and just had a baby and brought her first house with her newlywed husband she was coming out of the grocery store and she sees this young man running right past her. He throws something on the floor and the cop shoots thinking he is pulling out a gun instead of him hitting the man the young woman got shot in the chest and dies 3 days later. So chanel have been working with her husband to try to get justice for his wife. Day and Days she is in the office til 3 am some days than some days i dont even see her ass at all, only she comes and changes and go back to work me being who i am and knowing that we had the best relationship i didnt think nothing of it until the trial was over but she is still missing for some reason our relationship was on the fence she were arguing non stop she doesnt communicate with me anymore i feel like she sheltered me out of her life and im sitting here thinking what the hell did i do to her. I loved her more than life itself and i was confused i stopped a lot of my shit and made too many sacrafices for this chick. So i decided that i wanted to take her back to the place that we first fell in love at. while were sitting there it was quiet dead slience most weirdest feeling that i felt with her. I felt like i was sitting with a stranger. While she was eating her food im asking her how her day is going and she is giving me short answer no type of conversation where sipping our wine she is looking at the time like she has somewhere to be. See i am a very observant man and this shit is not right but you know what whatever it is will come to light either way. I sitting here asking her whats going on why have she been acting distance from me so we can just get straight to the point. But as usual bitches be lying nothing wrong im good just a lil tired thats all with this fake ass smile on her face. As im looking at her facial expression i already knew she was lyin. So i went off why the fuck is you lying for bitch for the five months you been acting wild stupid crazy and while im going off it hurts me cause i never seen myself acting this way towards her she was my heart. But i had to unless she wouldnt of never said anything to me. Her jaws dropped she never expected for me to go off and i kept on going. Letting her know how i have been watching her ass go in and out of the house hardly come in dont say nothing working late all fucking night and than she just broke out in tears and told me everything and my heart fell to the floor i sound like a bitch for saying this but yes she fucked me all up. But yea she been fuckling with this nigga for almost 3 months just chilling . After all that we've been threw and having such a good time all she can do is look me in my face and cry saying she so sorry she didn't mean for this to happen i just looked at her with hate this was the most hate that i felt in a long time for a bitch.I took that ring i purchased from the store and fucking threw it at her and told her thanks very much for fucking my life up not for just you but for every bitch that comes in my life in the future, it dont matter if i treat you like a queen or like shit which i should of but i thought i had something different and you know what i didn't you just another thottie ass bitch that live in the suburbs and drive a fly ass car and got hella dough you not better than no one bitch fuck you suck my dick and never call me again. I took me a while to get over her but like i said i bounced back but was doing me hard fuck bitches was my new model getting paper and pussy was on my mind not falling in love or even coming close to starting a relationship with anyone and i was happy with that and i had the perfect person to thank for that and it was chanel. The Healing   CHANEL   Yea i did it i made a mistake and fucked up bad with glen i didn't mean it. I just happened so fast that i didn't even notice that the relationship would of spiral out of control like it did. First it was a healing for homeboy, one night it he was  grieving and i was his healing i didn't mean for it to be sexual and for us to have this mental connection and i know for a fact that he LOVED his wife i think he was just hurt more than anything and didn't have anyone to turn to. Where i went wrong was i let myself get caught up in something that i cannot get out of. So now Glen is ready to purpose he is such a great man every since i met him i felt like i would never ever love someone as much as i loved him. When i really think about it i never did love someone and even with this crazy mistake no one ever compare to what we had or ever had. So as im sitting at this tabel at dinner i can't even look him in his face because it dawn to me at the last minute that i actually fucked up. Glen did not deserve for me to be with him and he needed to know the truth even though it was a mistake i needed to get it off of my chest it killed me for months to know i was living this double life that i didn't want it just fell into my lap and i couldn't control the urges of making love to jahiem even though the feelings was not like that but the sex itself was incredible dont get me wrong glen is great but the experiences with jahiem and the way his hands and tounge move and place kisses all over my body sometimes i couldn't wait to see him so he can just take tension out of my body. While im sitting here pouring my guts out to glen he does the unexpexted and goes off the charts on me i could't blame him for being mad cause if he would of done it to me i would of felt the same way. As i sit here in shock that he talked to me like that but hardly diappointed at him i just walked out crying my heart out how could destroy someones life the way i just did its not in me usually i need help learning how to love someone cause i was taught everything has to be handed to me. My dad never said no and If he did ill throw attitudes until i got what i wanted and thats how i always worked in relationships and usually im by myself cause i dont know how to compromise with anyone. The only thing i can thank my dad is  teaching me these things cause it caused me to be as successful as i am. I am now working hard to get what i wanted but money dont mean nothing to you when your alone and dont have anyone to share it with. As i go home hours later after i left the bar getting my thought together and drinking everything in the sun my house is clear of all of glen things and reality hits me that it over and no coming back. i sit on the couch see the empty space that once was filled with pictures of all the fun things we did that we always hung up on the wall was not ripped up into pieces on the floor. While im sitting here my phone rings hoping and praying that it was glen that was calling me to understand and forgive me for what i did but it wasnt it was jahiem. so drunk all i wanna do is numb out of this drama maybe getting laid will help me with that as i answered the phone this deep sexual voice is asking me how im  doing. I couldn't help but to start to cry and let him know that i told glen everything how its been eating me up for months for me to tell him what was going on. While im explaining the situation to this man i hear silence i already know when you hear silience why your talking about something so serious thats not a good thing. I asked him say something i hate speaking to someone and i feel like im speaking to a wall. jahiem comes back and say chanel i think you are a great beutiful kind hearted woman and i thank you so much for being there threw the pain that i've been threw knowing that i lost my wife and have a son at home that i need to care of and make a strong man on my own he has no mom. You was always there to comfort me reguardless if it was physically or sexually you was there but I was wrong my wife haven't been dead for almost a year and im out sleeping with other woman thinking that is going to heal what i was going threw cause when your not here i need to deal with it on my own I need to learn and get over this hurt on my own I need to be there for my son i think we rushed things way to fast. I didn't mean for this to happen and for this to destroy that beautiful relationship that you had with homeboy cause i feel like it shouldn't even went that far. I hope that we can be friends you know cause your a great person at heart but this gotta stop i got mad love for you but what i want you to do is go an try to make this shit up with yah man. DAMIT....DAMIT can this night get any worst i confess on some shit i knew i was taking advantage of and now he snapped his ass back into reality. All i could do is hang up no response to what he said and he knew that because he nevered called me back. I just laid on the couch and curled into a big ball wishing my dad was here to comfort me and guide me the right way I woke up the next day with the crazy hangover mouth very dry and wishing what had happened yesterday was just a dream. But when i looked around and seen the missing stuff i knew i wasn't dreaming in wish i could turn back the hands of time and try to change how this shit played out. Waking up late had court this morning hurried up called the office so one of my co workers can take my place or push the date back for me so i can get myself together and of course my good friend jake was more than happy to assist me with my cases today. I laid around all day didn't have anyone to talk to i was ashamed of myself my deepest dearest friend i couldn't even called i sat here had to call glen about 100 times in 4 hours and no answer. I ordered chinses food and stayed home and watch these emtional ass chick flicks on lifetime all day trying to figure out how am i going to fix this problem. One more last call i didnt text him didn't leave one message cause i needed to hear his voice to see if he could understand and wanna discuss thing with me over some drinks or something and that last call i made for the night it says his phone was disconnected. I cried i though i had everything in my life balanced but i didnt i just laid on the couch and past out. I cant focused sitting in this office trying to get myself together for court. I pulled myself out of work for a couple of weeks gave all my cases to jake so he can take care of them for me i needed some peace in my life and didnt have not once ounce of it in me right now. Got to my car and drove and drove and dorve all around until i looked i was sitting in the parking lot of the bank that glen worked at. I didn't even know what to do should i go in or just drive away he probably is going to act a fool in there but he has never did anything like that until the other night. you know what imma take my chances what else can i loose right now i already lost him and im damn near loosing my mind with it. As i wiped my face trying not look like i was crying all day eyes all red and got out of my car. i look around in the bank to see if he was there and he is with another customer didnt realize that i was there or even walked in. as i stood online waiting for the lady to walk off the other teller is asking me if they can assist me and im nodding no thanks. While im standing there waitng im thinking i should just walk out the lady eventually leaves the desk and he sees me i can see the hate he has in his eyes. I go walk over to him and look him in his face and say hello sir may i ask what your name is you look like you a sweet kind hearted loving man that was hurt by someone that made a huge mistake and need someone to take the hurt off of you and love you the same am i correct?. He looks at me and say you think your just going to walk in here and make it seem like nothing happened the other day and i supposed to be ok with it. If you really wanted to know how i felt you should of came by my house cause i cant even go into details of how i feel at this point of time with you and that serious this is my job and you know i have nothing to support myself with cause remember i gave up a lot for your ass. So what i need you to do is walk right out of the same damn door you came in and please dont come back to discuss anything with me unless your taking money out of your bank account or depositing money into the account and im dead fucking serious with you. I was shocked i looked at him tears started to build up my heart is feeling heavy. Glen you dont understand im sooo sorry even if your not with me at least can we get past threw this i made a huge mistake all i want us to do is be friends can we a least be that?. I am not sure yet imma let you know and if i want us to be friends i know where you live you forgot that we just currently lived together.....i know your number you dont need to come threw my job to make a scene. I just looked at him i am not going to sit here and beg you know what kills me is that a man can make mistakes and fuck up and just apologize and there is woman out there that would just forgive them for whateva they do but im not going to beg i know i messed up but i need to deal with it and if he come around than fine if not this is going to be ONE thing im going to live with and regret all my life. I walked out of that bank with my head up high and just kept it moving. 2 months later as i getting up with my homeboy to get drinks after work im enjoying myself were just discussing life talking about the big case he won today how proud he was and i was also he worked on this case for months even when i was down n out after the breakup with me and glen and he handled my load for like a week until i was able to get myself together and come to my damn senses. I am not going to front about it i miss him so much but im kinda mad at myself that i broke down like that but love make do some crazy shit but i've been good getting my work done more focused thinking about moving cause this house have way too many memories for me and i dont wanna deal with anymore. I put so much stuff out of the house that made me depressed i let alot go but I've been meeting up with a realtor so i can see if i can find a condo to my liking. As i sit at this bar listening to this music sound good jake asks if i wanna dance see i dont really know if he like me i hope not cause i look at him like a good friend nothing more nothing less but lately after he knew about the break up with glen we've been hanging homies chilling at the movies eating dinner just hanging out and i thank him for it cause without his company i probably wouldnt have made it. So we get to the dance floor listening to this music coming out the speaker maxwell woman worth me and jake was dancing and just talking. I am really enjoying myself which i havent really done in a while we dance nice and slow threw the whole song that is one of my favorite song and jake looks at me and tells me i dont know my worth..... Now im confused he is like your such a good woman and beauitful you make mistakes which everyone does chanel but you gotta learn from them your too smart for you settling for anything and just doing whateva come to your head see i never wanted to say anything to you about what's going on with you cause your grown. But i love you like a sister and i want you to do better you deserve it to the fullest your a successful black woman that made it out and have a great head on her shoulders i wish the best for you baby girl and i mean that from the bottom of my heart. When he said that my heart fell to the floor and everything just rushed to me how things in my life love wise was just not there and i realized that i havent even try pick myself up and move on after what happen to glen i just looked and started to cry at jake. You know sometimes you make mistakes and try to learn form them when your put back in this situation that your were in before or a new one that you still should know right from wrong and youlll still doing the wrong thing. I know GOD has my back cause i make my mistakes but if it is the person i supposed to be with then we will rise up out of that mistake and move on and put it past us. Now thats what i call love not saying what i do is excusable but i need someone there so when i do make that mistake we can work threw it together....tell how to be a better woman for them and myself not saying that i have issues with myself but im not perfect no one is but if i keep on getting someone that is ready to run out on me instead of TRYING dammit that all i ask for to TRY casue if a man would do somethig that would hurt me and you know from mike that i would stay there and try my best to work thing out until there is no more trying left. I need a back bone i think god didnt send me that back bone yet and im going to wait and keep making my mistakes and hopefully learn from them so i can be strong for my husband when he comes my way. Some mistake i wish i could take back like glen but you know what if i cant have him i will always wish him the best. I'm happy that your in my life jake cause you've been my supports for as long as i needed you i look  at you and your wife and get jealous at time not because your a great man because you guys been through so much and keep that strong bond that i wish i had jake you've been such a great friend to me and i cant ask for anything else from you. Jake gives me a kiss on my forhead and let me know that any time i need him he is there. As we danced and enjoyes ourselves time was going by so fast. As i look up i see Glen coming threw the door with one his closest friends...My heart dropped feel like i just gain 100 pounds extra i cant believe this is happening. were sitting so close to the door i knew he was going to see us sitting there i told myself even if he sees you dont get emotional chanel its been a while your fine.as he walk to the bar right by me and jake we meet eyes. I turned around so quick and looked down jake was confused. Chane whats wrong with you you look like you seen a ghost. i gave him a fake smile you see that man right there thats glen....i havent seen him since the incident that happened in the bank and he seen me sitting here we locked eyes. jake looks at me if you feel that you wanna speak to him than go over there. But i couldn't do it i looked at jake and let him know if it was met to be that faith would bring us together like i said lets just act like i didnt see him come and and thats exaxtky what i did me and jake still enjoyed our night until his wife came to get him because he was way too drunk to drive and all that time i can see glen just eyeing me but what is a girl to do when i tired months ago and you didnt want to talk. The Forgiveness Glen   So me and my mans thought to go out to a bar and just chill for a minute. No females no hustling just us being niggas at the end of the day sometime i need a peace of mind of my own even though me and chanel haven't been speaking for a few months i still was thinking about her everyday sometimes i could be good and sometimes i thought of all the hate that i had for the woman. I wish that the whole situation would of played out better than what it did but you know what you can think and hope for the best dont mean its going to happen. So me and dave is at the door and i peep chanel sitting there giggling and chatting shit up with some clown ass looking nigga. Iam not gonna lie it kinda make me feel some type of way so yea while i walked by i made sure we met eyes so she knew i see her. She aready found another nigga she probably already had him before we even started knowing each other. I try not to even look her way even though she looked beauitful as usual i wonder if she even seen me come in cause she acted like she didnt. For some reason as im sitting here all the feeling came rushing to me like they was new even though i know she messed up when i look at it it was more good that happened that i didnt even stop to think about before i deciding to make the decision to leave her alone. I didnt want her to know i was looking at her cause she was sitting chilling with the next nigga but i know she still got that same number and hopefully stay that the same crib i decided to make it my business to go and see her tomorrow just to check and see if she is good or not. I am not sure if it going to open a new door but i do know i wanna check on her to see where her mind is at. The next day I woke up with so much on my mind just think about chanel and how i saw her that brought back so much memories for me. As im sitting her thinking my phone been ringing off the hook since last night cause i did a MIA on people. I'm looking at my phone like damn how many time this bitch gonna call me she been calling me since last night non stop i had to have 50 missed call from this chick i answer the phone sounding groggy like i just woke up hello, why haven't you been answering yah fucking phone for i been calling you since last night you was supposed to come over and you never answered. I thought something was wrong its not like you to be missing for a whole night glen where the fuck was you at fucking some other bitch huh.... I stopped katrina dead in her tracks first off were not together i dont know how many times i can say that to you you not my bitch were just fucking buddies i told you that before we started you act like you understood what i said now all of a sudden you catching feeling calling me non stop like im your nigga that you keeping tabs on. really nigga thats how you feel for a month we been dealing with each other and you still wanna call me your fucking buddy really thats all you see in me, Bitch it has nothing to do with what i see in you it is what it is so if im fucking the next bitch its not your business cause were not on it like that, dont get me wrong i like you you cool to chill with i like fucking but were not together and serious im tired of explaining that to you. If i wanted a girlfriend i would have one but i dont so you either get it or you can keep it moving and loose my number no love lost seriously. Fuck you glen you not even that fly for me to keep fucking with you everytime we chill getting high and drinking you always talking about yah shady ass ex girlfriend anyways than act like you dont know your doing it i can get dick from any nigga i want i dont needs yours fuck outta her matter of fact you loose my number CLICK. Did this bitch just bang it on me.....oh well i got other shit to deal with anyways my connect acting up on the reup... My job cut my hours back and right now im missing the shit out of chanel. When i finally get myself together i remember today is wednesdays chanel always worked half of days after her meeting in the office i decided to drop by to check on her and make sure she was good after i seen her yesterday. So i go to the store grab some lunch from the chinese spot that she likes and get a botlle of wine so we can discuss as adults and hash everything out at least we can remain freinds cause right now i dont wanna build no kind of relationship because i cant trust her and im not going to throw myself at her so she can fuck me all over again. its was about 5 pm i pulled up in front of the apartment building that we one shared together and i sat there hoping that her car was going to be in the parking lot i spotted it and got out. I didnt know what to expect when i got out the car if she was gonna be with ole boy or not. So i knocked on the door i hear her soft voice just a minute i can hear her shuffling in the house and im smirking cause i know she only wears panties and a shirt and she scrambling to find some pants she did it all the time. Than she opens the door and i just look at her in the back of my mind im thinking damn she look good as hell   Chanel So im now just getting off of work and someone is at my door. I am tryinh to find something to throw on cause really no one comes over and the people that i know knows that im moving. As i open the door my heart dropped once again it glen standing at the door i just looked at him he asks me may i come in of course i open the door for him to come in he has been on my mind since i saw him last night seem like faith is finally working with me or great minds just think alike. he came me told me he grab some food and wine when i saw him open up the chinese food i saw him get what i loved to eat the chicken and brocoili. I asked him so i see you remembered he looks at me and say how would i forget its only been a couple of months. Before i even grab something for us to eat in because most of the things in the kitchen was boxed up because no one be here and i always eat out i stopped cooking didnt feel the need to cook since i was the only one. Thank god i had some spare plates from a gathering we had when we lived together. I had to come to reality and see before we gotten any closer glen what is trhe reason for this visit i saw you last night and you didnt feel the need to speak to me so what changed your mind as i stand there with my hand on my hips looking at him confused. Glen said I am not gonna lie to you when i saw you last night a lot of shit came rushing to me chanel.....i wanted to come over and check on you to see how you was doing...maybe we can hash things out cause we did leave things on a bad note. I just looked at him im shocked that he is even standing here and trying to speak to me. ok i feel you so i opened the wine and make me a plate of food and sit on the couch. He is looking around so you moving? yea i am i told him there is way too many memories i wanted to kind of start over you know turn a new leaf you know. He looked at me confused but what the hell did he expect like we share this place together were not together so i need to move on with myself.   Glen  So she is telling me how she is moving and the reasons i thought damn i wonder if she was thinking about me  these months like i've been thinking of her. So how have you been doing ? I've been fine I won most of cases at work and i lost two of them but its ok sometimes you loose some you know.  so as were sitting there talking just laughing talking about the past and whats going on in our lives now. I didnt realize how much i enjoyed talking to her and how she can relate to what im saying even though she wasnt about that kind of life. So lets get to the bottom of the case at hand that had us depart. Now i know that you made a mistake and no i don't want to argue with you about it what was done was done i just wanna ask was it worth it for you and why?. She looked at me with tears in her eyes just explaining how things happened and how she never met for it to go down like that. She is explaining to me how everyone make mistakes i asked god to forgive me for the things i did and ask him to guide me the right way....All i can do is ask for you to forgive me for the things i've done to you i truly didnt mean any of it. I looked at her i could respect it. But was I ready to forgive her like she wanted to me to no I was not. I let her know chanel I still have strong feeling for you and I will always have a place in my heart while I sat here and talked to you for these couple of hours I realized on how much we connected and I kind of missed those days. You fucked up for what you've done to me yes you was especially after I changed myself and gave you all of me. I would rather be cool with you than anything take shit slow cause I don't know where your mind is going and to be quite honest with you I dont trust you like that. You already know how I get down once you fuck me over that first time I would never give you the chance to fuck me over again. it sounds harsh because I never thought I would be sitting here with you after the incident that happend but I'm a real ass nigga and I am not going to lead you on either. I  understand what you mean and I'm glad that we had this conversation at this time I would like to take things slow as a friend because I want to show you while you was gone I realized what I've lost and it took A lot of me to try to get over you. I know trust is always the hardest thing for someone to gain back with someone that broke it so let me show you that my feelings are real and I would never want to jepordize anything that we have even if its just a friendship that fine with me. The Friendship   Chanel Things have been going great with Glen, we talk to each other every other day and hang out every other weekend. Being that were just friends I still can't see myself being with no one else. Even though the time that he is giving me is not enough in my eyes but I cannot complian because were basically starting from the beginning. So tonite were supposed to be going out for drinks. I decided to get my nails, hair and find me a new dress cause I haven't got none in a while and I am ready to get this hot box fill with some good loving. So I go and buy me a marc jacob black dress with my back all the way out to the arch of my back and it has a open spilt in the front that goes to my belly button area, found me some red and black stuart weitzman shoes to go with my dress and a black leather marc jacobs bag. I went to the hair salon and added some length to my hair so it can touch my ass, when i was dressed and ready to go I looked in the mirror and my pussy automatically got wet just looking at how fine i was. Instead of me driving I got a personal driver for the night because i knew I wanted to get drunk and just dance my ass off and I don't wanna put my hopes up and be going home alone like he been doing me for the last few weeks we've been talkiing. So I am prepared, He finally called me and told me to meet him at prohibition which I always wanted to go to. It's like some secret code to get in and its supposed to have some type of old school theme and play some decent music so I was ready to enjoy myself with my "friend" that I wanted to suck the sweetness out of my juice box so bad cause I really needed it. So I get to the front of this Famous phone booth and I am waiting on Glen to get here as I am standing here I see him coming threw the door and stop at the bar tender to ask for two drinks one for me and him. Dammnnn he looking finer than usual now don't get me wrong he alwayed dressed nice. When he worked he had some nice looking suits on and when he hit the streets he was fly as fuck and turned me on with the thug look. But tonite he took it to another level I am looking him up and down cause if anyone knew fashion that would be me and I am checking his wardrobe to see what he has on a Brooks Brothers suit on in black and white with brooks brothers men shoes in black on and a scent that was so sensual that fill the whole room when he came in it . As I'm waiting for him he is just looking at me and smiling and I'm looking at him like he a lolly pop that i wanna take iin my mouth and suck all night.So he approaches me and give me my favorite drink which he still remember from when we first me which is a white russian I could drink that all day and just be good in the morning. He goes into the booth and give them the code and they let us in the bar. Come to find out this bar was more of a smoking cigar bar which I should of known being that he loves to smoke. We found a booth in the corner and just sat there and talked all night. When I turn around I on top of him after 5 driinks down kissing his neck while i have on of hands rubbing his groan area and yess it was rock hard. I was ready to go I wanted to go home and just lay him down and take his whole manhood into my mouth until I felt his juices splashed in the back of my throat. But I know he said he didn't want it like that but how I am set up right now it dont matter I want him in my bed with my legs spread and have my clit throbing like not other and I am demanding to get that I want and I know for a fact that he wants me to. (GLEN) So I meet her at the bar that I wanted to take her to first I just wanted to tease her and show her how much she fucked up so I went out and brought ma a fly ass suit show her a different part of me that she is going to be surprised to see. So I'm going to sit in the car and wait for her to go in first so I can see what she has on cause I know she looking good especially that she been trying to throw hint on me fucking her and I shut her down everytime or left before I gave up . Now she got some good ass pussy don't get me wrong but I wanted to teach her a lesson before I made any kind of moves just because I am from the hood don't mean a nigga gotta act like they from the hood cause I clean up real nice if I want to. So I see a truck pull up and she jump out of it so I automatically knew what her intentions was for tonite and she looking good as fuck maybe ill give her some of daddy dick. I meet her inside and we go downstairs we found a booth and for hours we sat there and talked like we just met each other. I turned around and she is on top of me grinding while I am rubbing the arch of her back. Dman her ass feel so good and I know she don't have on any panties now it got me wondering how that thing feel like being that I haven't even touch that in a minute. So i decided to tease her while she girnding her pussy on my shit I take my finger and slide it under her dress and start to play with her clit. Now she moaning and holding on to me tight while kissing the side of my neck. I stick one of my fingers in her hole and the juices coming out is heavy and warm got me thinking how good that would feel if I had my dick all the way in there. So I whisper in her ear ask her do she wanna go home and she was ready so were staggering to her car and the personal driver pulled up and opened the door for us. We get in and immediately she pulls my dick out and start sucking it. Damn I forgot how good she sucked dick I could't wait to get her upstair in the house and really give it to her. meanwhile in the back of my mind I hoping that I am making the right moves. As soon as we pul up to her house she looks at me we go upstairs she opens the door and turns music on and starts to strip dance for me... while im sitting on the couch looking at her my dick is rock hard she get on her knees and take my whole shit in her mouth i put my head back enjoyig this great head game that i kinda miss. I pull her up carry her to the room and spread her legs out and start to suck all of the nectar out her fruit box it taste so good and she is moaning and i start to stick two fingers in her pussy while i lick her clit which i knew she loved and she started to girate on my fingers all i hear her say is im cummin daddy that shit feel so good her moans is getting louder and i stopped, she looks up at me and ask me why i stop i put my fingers in her mouth so she can taste the juices from her pussy and she suck the shit of of my fingers while moaning i turned her around and sucked my dick in this wet warm pussy and it felt good ad hell she had her hair out i wrapp it aroud my hands and pulled it while i fucked her from the back and she cum over and over again and i enjoyed every moment of it. When we was done she got up its 5am and unwrapped some of her pots that she had packed up and made some of those famous burgers that i loved and homemade fries and we layed there and watched movies until we passed. this is what i didnt want to happen but hey it is what it is. can i say were a couple again i not sure well see  The Drama  Glen   So me and chanel is a couple again for a couple of weeks. I didn't move back in with her yet I dont think im ready and for a while when we was not dating i had a side piece that i was messing with called kasey. I was kind of feeling her my feeling for her was nothing compare to what i felt for chanel but she was cool peoples.  Kasey had a great job working in the hospital, she had no kids, she lived not that far from my crib and she just had a good head on her shoulders she kind of reminded me of chanel. Being that me and chanel was on it again i still chilled with her from time to time she will come over and ill give her some dick and we will chill and just talk until i was ready to go to chanels house. Right now chanel didnt know that i was working part time because i didnt get a chance to tell her so these time when i was supposed to be at work i was chilling with her. So one day I woke up and kasey was at my front door. I felt bad cause i knew that she had strong feelings for me and i didnt want to lead her on so I let her in She had brought me breakfast from the store and she came in I didnt even accept it i just asked her to sit down so i can talk to her. I told her chanel and me was back together and i didnt want to lead her on because i knew that she liked me and i didnt want to continue the relationship. It was only right for me as a man to tell her the truth cause shit like this get out of hand and i dont want to do the same shit to chanel that she did to me cause i knew how the shit felt. She just put her head down and said i knew you was back with her because u stopped talking about her with me and u became very distant. But she than surpised me by saying that she didnt care she liked me dicking her down she knew her place and she still wanted to fuck with me. Now me being a ngga if you can yah cake and eat it too with no conflict than why not but instead of me thinking with my head i thought with my dick. So here I am balancinig both of them i kept chanel from by my house i made sure that i was aroud her most of the time when i was ready to go home i chilled with kasey. I was cool I felt like the fucking man cause i had everything in the bag until I slipped up and got caught this one fucking night.   *CHANEL*    So me and glen is back on it, things are going pretty well for us he still is kind of distance but I know he still probably feel like he don't trust me but i still can,t blame him because we still fresh on it. He have been coming over here every night and chilling but some nights he will go home saying it closer to his job to communte back and forth so I am not thinking nothing of it. One day he came and surprised me at work and took me out for lunch on his lunch break and I was slammed with a case that I was working on so instead of me just telling him i cannot go i took my folders and while we was on lunch i was looking threw all the evidence that was given to me. We enjoyed lunch glen always knew what made me happy a good conversation with some good food. So while he is driving me back to work I forgot me folder in the back of his car I was trying to call him to bring it back but he was not answering after i just left his ass that annoyed me cause ever since he got back together sometimes he wouldn't answer the phone I'm assuming that he must of had ton of things to do. i just left the folder with him and told myself when i get out tonite ill get the folder from his house grab some seafood and wine and surprise him cause I've have been kind of busy lately and so have he. I stayed at work for a while looked over the rest of the information i had on the case I left about 7:30 pm so i can make sure i made it to the store to pick the things up before they closed. I brought some lobster tails, crab legs some shrimps, and some seafood melody for my famous rice that he loved so much. ran to the liquor store and picked up a red wine for us to drink. when i got to his house i was knocking cause i never asked for any keys i dont even come over here like that because of me trying not to put myself in a bad situation with my job and all. so i go to the door and knock and it takes him a while to come to the door so i call him and he is not answering his phone. I know that he is there because i see his car so i hear him shuffling in the inside of the house he finally came to the door and he is just standing there looking at me. hey babe surprised i with some dinner that i wanted to cook and i have wine for us to drink tonite i tried to call you because i felt my file in your car but you didnt answer the phone so i just came to surprise you plus you've been busy so have i so let just hang out and chill tonite. He is looking at me and says i didnt know you was coming because i would of cleaned up my house is a mess ill throw something on and we can chill at yah house. I was confused as hell because i know i didnt drive over here for nothing so i asked him to let me in ill wait for him to get ready he looks at me and says no im looking fucking confused because i know everytime he comes to my house i let his ass in so now im mad i hear shuffling in the house i pushed him over and bust open the door and a light skin red bone is trying to sneak out the back with her shit.....         AND THIS IS WHEN THE SHIT STARTED  Publication Date: April 3rd 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-xsacc037b193e35

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-anime98-kouru-and-his-princess-for-life/

anime98 kouru and his princess for life volume 1 to all who love ouran highschool host club.and welcome princesses Text: google.com and funimation pictures All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 18th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-anime98

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-cat7700-words-i-couldn-039-t-say-by-leightto-meewter/

cat7700 Words I couldn't say (by Leightto meewter Enter your text here by copying it from any text ediIn A Book, In A Box, In The Closet In A Line, In A Song I Once Heard In A Moment On A Front Porch Late One June In A Breath Inside A Whisper Beneath The Moon There It Was At The Tips Of My Fingers There It Was On The Tip Of My Tongue There You Were And I Had Never Been That Far There It Was The Whole World Wrapped Inside My Arms And I Let It All Slip Away What Do I Do Now That You're Gone No Back Up Plan, No Second Chance And No One Else To Blame All I Can Hear In The Silence That Remains Are The Words I Couldn't Say There's A Rain That Will Never Stop Fallin' There's A Wall That I Tried To Take Down What I Should Have Said Just Wouldn't Pass My Lips So I Held Back And Now We've Come To This And It's Too Late Now What Do I Do Now That You're Gone No Back Up Plan, No Second Chance And No One Else To Blame All I Can Hear In The Silence That Remains Are The Words I Couldn't Say What Do I Do Now That You're Gone No Back Up Plan, No Second Chance And No One Else To Blame All I Can Hear In The Silence That Remains Are The Words I Couldn't Say ting software (e.g. M.S. Word). Publication Date: March 24th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-cat7700

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-angelina-mosqueda-darkest-hour/

Angelina Mosqueda Darkest Hour Chapter 1 "Your one of us," the voice whispered darkly through the air. "Find us and join the life you were born into. The voice faded into the darkness of the room and was replaced by a chilling breeze through the hole in the wall. My mind was so sbudued with fear that I almost missed what was right in front of me. The room I was confined in was too dark for human eyes to see but my vampire eyes never missed a thing. Well, until almost now. Somewhere in that little clear space of my mind some rationality seemed to plant itself there, letting me see there was a hole and a little light seemed to escape through it and vaguely brighten up the room. The little light's revealment meant there was a possibility the wall around it was a little weaker than the stronger areas and I could probably break out of my confinement. The strength, brought along with the vampiric immortality I was born with, was strong and it seemed like I could take it down in less than a second. (Literally.) The only thing standing between me and freedom was that wall. (Haha, it was literally standing in place because it's a wall.) I broke the chains that clasped my hands and feet to the chair and then stood up. A snarl rose up my throat and I leaned into a defensive crouch. I could see the tinge of red clouding up my vision as I focused on letting the monster inside me rise to the surface. A smirk played along my lips, curving them upward and I flew at the wall with great force. The collision was faster than a normal human's speed and the wall crumbled down below my feet. Unfortuantely, I didn't think of the consequences of my actions until a second after I decided my move. My breath came out for deep gasps of air from the energy it took out of me. The one thing that sucked about being deprived of blood is your lack of energy. As soon as my breath caught, I stood up straight and was facing a crowd of scarlet-eyed vampires. No emotions were set on their pale faces and I cringed back until I saw who they held in their grasp. A fierce snarl rose up my throat and I leaned into another crouch. They had Rosalie. I was about to attack her captors but the same voice stunned me into place. "My darling Nathaniel, when will you finally join where you belong?" The voice whispered through the breeze and my head whipped around crazily, trying to look past the bodies of emotionless vampires. "Nathaniel," a voice called faintly and my head whipped around, trying to spot my human mother. I couldn't find her. "Nathaniel, you need...." Her voice faded as I woke with a start. It was just a dream. A scary, vivid dream. One dream I wouldn't forget. "Nathaniel, are you listening to me?" My mother's voice sounded impatient but excited. I yawned heavily and blinked the sleep away from my eyes and looked at my mother. Her complexion was a light tan. In the sun you could definitely notice the white side of her jeans but the dark, original hair color told you she was Mexican as well. Publication Date: January 20th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-angiemosqueda18

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-joanna-life/

joanna life dedicated to everyone i lost, i love you and miss you chapter 1: tragedy #1 my life isn't perfect i made more mistakes than anything else, there has been more bad than good. sometimes i wish i wasn't even here. i wonder what life, and the world would be like without me around. my life started going down hill when i was about 8 years old the first tragedy i had in my life was when my mother passed away. my mother had breast cancer the first time she was diagnosed with cancer she beat it then 2 years later it came back, it killed her. it was fathers day me and my brother were sleeping, my dad did the usual shopping in the morning. out of no were my mom started yelling my brothers name. he ran to go see what was wrong i followed him. are mother had collapsed on the floor she was too weak to get up. she asked my brother to call are dad,so he did. are dad rushed home and tried helping her up but she was in to much pain. i never seen my father so scared. he called 911 immediately and told me and my brother to wait in the living room. then the paramedics came i was so scared i had no idea what was going on. one of the paramedic guys was my dads buddy he saw how upset and scared me and my brother were. after they took my mother he got down on one knee and told us she was going to be okay shell be home soon. i could tell from the look in his eyes she wasn't okay she was ill. after the paramedics left my dad dropped us off at my uncles house for a little bit then came back for us. before he took us to go see her he told my aunt and uncle the doctors don't think she's going to make it through the week. they were right.. on june 18th,2002 at 1:15 pm my brother and i were in the room with her when she flat lined. i had no idea what was going on, neither did my brother. i remember asking my dad if mommy was okay, for the first time i actually saw my dad cry. he took us out of the room so the nurses can try to bring her back. but it was too late are father cried and told us mommy went to heaven she's with god she's not coming back.. i broke down crying so did my brother i tried going back to her room but my dad wouldn't let me. her funeral was two weeks later thats when my dad gave me and michael her last gift to us. she gave me a teddy bear named hope and gave michael a dog named rex. i take hope everywhere she the only thing i have left of her. i was 8 when she passed away i didn't know her that well. if there one thing or two that i know its that she had a smile that could light up the whole town and a personality that was loved by everyone chapter 2: tragedy #2 about a year after my mother passed away i met someone ill never forget. his name was alexander brandon medina. he was my one and only love he was my best friend. me and him met in ms.mathis 4th grade class. he was the new kid are teacher at the time asked me to show him around so i did. as i started showing him around at recess we got to know each other, we had so much in common. we hung out every day and talked to each other all the time. at the end of 4th grade he told me he was moving to texas for a little bit. a few years went by, then one day when i decided to go for a walk i ran into him. i didn't notice him at first until he called me peanut lol. peanut was his nickname for me in elementary. i was so happy to see him again we exchanged numbers and caught up with each other. he told me he missed me and that he's glad he ran into me. he asked me out that night, i said yes [of course]. we dated for two years, on are two year anniversary he took me to the movies and walked me home before the movie started he gave me heart necklace that said love on it with another heart over it. i still have that necklace i haven't took it off since he gave it to me. what happened after the movies still gives me nightmares. as we walked home these two guys came out of no where and started harassing alex and me one of the guys pushed me down. thats when alex got mad. he ended up getting jumped. as soon as alex hit the ground one of the guys pulled out a gun and shot him 5 times he died instantly. all i could do was cry i was so scared then the guy with the gun looked at me, grabbed me and put the gun to my head, he told me if i say anything that he will kill me then he threw me to the ground and ran off. i stayed there with alex holding him i was terrified. i didn't say anything, i never told the cops what happened that night until that day came i was a witness i had to say something know matter how scared i was i told the court what i saw. i never knew why they came after alex until i talked to his cousin. it turns out alex's older brother messed with the wrong people, to get to him they took his little brothers life. he was killed in a drive by two weeks later. ill never forget alex, ill never forget staying up late talking on the phone. i remember two nights before that day came i snuck him into the house will my dad and brother were asleep we stayed up on the roof all night just looking at the stars and talking. he looked at me and smiled gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me he loved me, and that he wants to marry to me. he gave me a ring and told me know matter what happens he will always be here for me, that i will always have a special place in his heart. i loved alex, i always will know matter what happens in life he will always be in my heart. chapter 3: tragedy #3 this tragedy happened my freshman year in high school. i made some good friends and bad friends i done things i swar i would never do. alex and my mother would be so disappointed. the summer before freshmen year i had a job. i was a receptionist at my aunts hair salon. one day this guy came in as usual was getting a hair cut. we were busy that day so as he waited me and him talked and laughed he was so funny and cute. it turns out me and him were going to be at the same school that year he was going to be a sophomore and i was a freshmen. he showed me around the school on my first day and hung out with me. we ended up exchanging numbers that week and stayed up all night on the phone. i went to bed with a smile every night. he reminded me of alex. i miss him so much it hurts. two days later he asked me to the movies i said yes. i had a lot of fun with him. i can't help but smile every time i saw him. he liked me to as we sat in starbucks he asked me if i liked him and if i would go out with him i said yes. we dated for about 4 months. i have no idea what went wrong things were so good in the beginning. on are 4 month anniversary we decided to take are relationship to the next level. so we did, he got m pregnant and broke up with me after i told him. 6 months later on july 11th,2009 i had william . the only time i was ever truly happy was when i was holding my first born. he was two months premature, he had breathing problems, about two months later he stopped breathing. i blamed myself for the longest. i miss holding him so much he never saw his first birthday. what did i do wrong... after my son passed away the father finally decided to come back into my life. when he found out what happened he showed up at my house drunk he got down on his knees and told me he's sorry for everything and that he wants to make it up to me i just slapped him and slammed the door i haven't talked to him since then. i was 15 he was 17 how could i be so stupid.. chapter 4: tragedy #4 the death of my mother, the love of my life and my son. was to much to take. to make things worse two weeks after william my best friend was killed in a shooting. me and lisa been best friends since kindergarden. me and her ended up getting in a horrible fight the day before she was killed if i had a chance to go back in time i would take it she ment everything to me we werent best friends we were sisters. if i could i would take back everything i said i would take back every punch and every hurtful thing i said. i miss her she was the main reason why i didnt slit my throat when alex died the reason why i didnt kill myself through all the bad times she was my guardian angel. it was on april 23rd,2010 at 3:30 am i got a phone call from her sister asking me if i seen her sister if i knew were she was and if i can call her. i told he calm down that i would do my best to contact her. i knew something was wrong when she didnt answer her phone even though we had a horrible fight the night before she always answers her phone.i called her multiple times asking her to call me asap. she never calle back teo hours later i got another phone call it was lisa's little sister she was crying her eyes out she asked me to come over asap. so i snuck out and went over to her house, since she just lived down the street from me. as soon as she answered the door she ran to me and cryed her eyes out and said lisas dead, lisa was shot, i cant believe shes gone. i held her baby sister tight and broke down crying i told her shes in a better place now shes in heaven shes gods angel know. she stopped crying and told me lisas are angel not gods. she was ares first. she was an angel she was my sister are sister and she wants her back. i stayed with her for a week then went home. if i could go back in time i would i should o never said those things to lisa i shold of never left her sister. the day after i left her she hung herself and left a note. saying lisas her angel shes going to be with her angel. i cryed when i saw that note not only was i going to my best friends funeral i was also going to her baby sisters. i miss them so much i blame myself sometimes as much as i want to change the past i cant, i wont. chapter 5: the end as much as i want to change my past i cant, i wont. my past is what made me who i am today and i wouldnt change that for the world.they never found her killer and they released alexs killer two years after it happened. just when i thought everything was going to be okay that everything was almost back to normal i screw up. i messed up so many times i dont even know who i am anymore i changed for the worse. i dont even know the person looking at me i should, i need to find her who knows how long that would take im always finding someone to blame, when truth be told the only person to blame is the girl in the mirror. i need to change my ways, i want to change. im 16 years old i cut myself every night, i wish i was dead. i wonder what life, the world would be without me around. my life isnt perfect i made more mistakes than anything else, i have done more bad then good. i am who i am i wouldn't change that for the world. Publication Date: July 17th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-brittneyjo

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-johannes-diderik-bierens-de-haan-faust/

Johannes Diderik Bierens de Haan Faust ChapaterI(DE KLACHT VAN FAUST) De famulus Wagner, de begrensde mensch. Nauwelijks verschijnt ons de figuur van Faust of wij vernemen zijn klacht, een klacht zoo zeer uit de geheele persoonlijkheid opgeweld, dat wij Faust niet kennen, zoolang wij de klacht niet verstaan. En door in haar te verwijlen, zoodat de snaren onzer ziel meetrillen, verstaan wij haar. Niet slechts muziek of roman willen genoten worden door medeleving, maar ook de wijsheid, en ook datgene wat aan de wijsheid voorafgaat. Terwijl wij nu de klacht van Faust zullen uitspreken, en bepeinzen wat zij inhoudt--zie daar ontmoeten wij een mensch in Faust's omgeving en met wien hij elken dag verkeert: zijn eigen famulus, den helper bij zijn natuurkundige proeven, Wagner. Hij is een mensch (of zeggen wij: hij is "de" mensch) die de klacht van Faust niet kent en haar niet begrijpt en die te dezen opzichte het niet verder brengt dan tot een schamele verzuchting. Het is langs den famulus Wagner, dat wij tot Faust naderen; het is door tegenstelling dat wij de beteekenis van Faust's klacht duidelijk maken.   "Reeds weet ik veel doch gaarne wist ik alles" (Zwar weiss ich viel, doch möcht ich alles wissen). Met deze woorden treedt de famulus Wagner uit Faust's studeercel af; zij zijn kort en wel de prachtigste karakteristiek van een benepen mensch. De man wien deze woorden in den mond gelegd zijn, is voorgoed belachelijk en met hem het heele ras der zijnen; de kordate weetvastheid van zoo'n schepsel, zijn beslist voornemen om de weterij van dag tot dag te vermeerderen, en de volkomen argeloosheid van zulk gemoed zijn zoo heerlijk bijeengebracht in dat ééne volzinnetje, dat wij Goethe den oprechten dank onzer harten schuldig zijn, die zoo treffend de heele bent van weetwijzen heeft gekarakteriseerd. Deze menschen hebben éen eerbied, en die is groot, voor degenen die nog meer weten dan zij; zij hebben één verlangen en dat is groot: hun medewetenden voorbij te streven of althans in te halen; hoe gaarne zouden ze twee honderd jaren oud worden, wanneer dat hun hielp om alles te weten. Zij zijn het die de opstapeling der leervakken hebben uitgevonden en de vergelijkende examens. Wagner is de begrensde mensch. Maar waarin bestaat dan wel zijn begrensdheid, terwijl toch zijn verlangen zóo ver reikt? Tevreden met halve maatregelen vinden wij hem niet en de hoeveelheid weten, door hem verzameld, is hem nooit genoeg, daar hij immers tot de al-wetendheid toe zou willen voortwerken. Respektabel is de kennis der Wagners, en zij gelijken in hoeveelheid van opgezamelde wetenschap op musea. Hun vatbaarheid schijnt onbegrensd. Zijn zij niettegenstaande dit een begrensd type van menschen, waarin ligt deze begrensdheid dan? Zij ligt in een eigenschap huns geestes waardoor zij den zin en beteekenis van hun eigen weten misverstaan. In een misverstand ligt hun begrensdheid; en het misverstand is van dien aard, dat hij die het opeens inziet, tot de klacht van Faust vervalt. Maar ook van dien aard is het misverstand dat men slechts krachtens geestelijke beperktheid daarbij blijven kan en dat de ware, ruime en diepe geest niet anders kan dan het misverstand ontsluieren en dus komen moet tot de klacht van Faust. En deze klacht verwoest de vorige vreugde en spreekt het vonnis uit over de schoone illusie van voorheen. Wat de famulus Wagner niet verstaat is: dat al deze kennis een nadering is tot het Onbegrepene. Ja: de diepere waarheid der kennis ligt hierin--een waarheid die vooralsnog verbijstert en verblindt, zooals ze aan Faust doet, maar die later wordt verstaan, wanneer het Onbegrepene niet zonder meer on-begrepen blijft. De Wagners echter verstaan niets van dezen geestelijken zin en wonderbare waarde der menschelijke kennis: hun is het te doen om de verzameling der weetzaken. Zij kloppen begeerig aan de deur van Faust's denkvertrek "om met hem te treden in geleerde overweging," maar niet om wijsheid. De vrees, die hen een enkelen maal bij hun wetenschap overvalt, is niet de vrees of ook al het weten de toenadering is tot een ontzaglijk geheim, te groot voor menschenhart. Maar hun vrees is dat het korte leven niet genoeg zij om de hoeveelheid der weetbaarheden te verzamelen: "de kunst is lang en kort het leven" "eer de halve weg is afgelegd moet een arme drommel misschien sterven." De kwantiteit van het weetbare verontrust hen soms; en zoo ze ooit over de begrensdheid onzer kennis hebben nagedacht, dan is het om deze grenzen verkeerd te stellen: de begrensdheid onzer zintuigen en van ons geheugen en der werktuigen die wij aanwenden, de kwantitatieve onvolmaaktheid van het menschelijk verstand is de eenige grens, die zij zich indenken: maar dat mogelijk het verstand zelf (ook het ver-reikendste) niet levert wat wij ons inbeelden, dat het verstand zelf voert tot het onbegrepene ; dat aldus het verstand eindigt niet bij het doel, waarvoor wij 't inspanden, maar bij de ontkenning des doels--dàt te verstaan is verre buiten het vermogen der famuli Wagner. Zoo verstaan zij ook niet wat wèl de zin der verstandswerking mag zijn. In hun mond past de volgende lofspraak: Wij hebben met nauwlettendheid de bewegingen van gemoed en verstand gadegeslagen, geklassificeerd en ingedeeld onder psychische wet. Wij hebben de bronnen der historie van volken en geslachten geopend en bestudeerd. Wij hebben de aarde opgegraven en daar de archieven aangetroffen voor de prae-historische geschiedenis der menschheid; wij hebben door geologische onderzoekingen den ouderdom van onze aardsche woonplaats berekend en een algemeene voorstelling harer wordingsfazen verkregen; de afstanden vastgesteld in het stelsel der planeten; onze blik reikt tot eindlooze verten heen; de richting is aangewezen waarin het menschelijk verstand nog jaren en jaren zijn onderzoekingswerk kan voortzetten: zwar weiss ich viel, doch möcht ich alles wissen! Oefent de verrukking der Wagners niet zekere verlokking uit en zou men haar uitspraak niet liever aanhooren dan de klacht van Faust, de bittere en doodelijke klacht: "Ik zie dat wij niets kunnen weten" (ich sehe dass wir nichts wissen können)? "Nu heb ik, ach, filosofie, rechtswetenschap en medicijnen, en ook helaas theologie met vurigen ijver bestudeerd. Daar sta ik nu, een arme dwaas en ben zoo wijs als bij 't begin. Ik heet Magister, Doctor zelfs en trek nu al een tiental jaren, omhoog omlaag en scheef en krom scholieren bij hun neuzen rond en zie dat wij niets weten kunnen: dat brandt mijn hart met felle pijnen." Aldus luidt de klacht, waarmeê Fausts nachtelijke alleenspraak in de studeercel aanvangt en waarvan geen famulus Wagner iets verstaat. Voor dezen is wetenschap nog niets anders dan lofwaardige geleerdheid, streelend voor het menschelijk gevoel van eigenwaarde. Dat wereld en leven raadsel zijn vermoedt hij niet. Tegenover de klacht van Faust klinkt zijn tevredenheid als onbewuste bespotting van zichzelf: "het is een groot genot zich in den geest der tijden te verplaatsen, toeziende hoe voorheen een wijs man heeft gedacht, hoe heerlijk ver ten laatste wij gekomen zijn."   Wetenschap is herleiding tot het Onbegrepene. De klacht van Faust betreft niet de kwantiteit van het weten: het te weinig aan kennis. Deze kwaal ware wellicht door den arbeid van duizend jaren te verhelpen, waarna de klacht kon worden te boek gesteld als bewijs van het te kort in een voorafgaand stadium der menschelijke ontwikkeling. De klacht van Faust houdt in dat de kennis een nadering is tot het Onbegrepene. Dit is het wat hem kwelt: hoemeer deze schipper zijn vaart bespoedigt, zoo dichter nabij den kolk wordt hij gedreven, waarin elk vaartuig vergaat. Juist het tegenovergestelde van wat hij wenscht bereikt hij; het licht waarnaar hij versmacht blijkt duisternis. Tevoren, toen hij als onwetende door het leven liep, was hij niet ongelukkig; zijn behoefte aan kennis hield nog de belofte in eener toekomstige vervulling. Thans echter is hij de kennis deelachtig en ziet: het kennen drijft hem ijlings in de ellende: het Onbegrepene is voor zijn oog verrezen. Het is alsof nevels den horizont onzichtbaar maken zoodat wie kunnen leven zonder horizont, tevreden zijn met het beperkte bestaan hun gegund. Maar zij, wie de beperktheid het leven benauwt, doorwaden de nevelen en wat zien zij? Monsters die het bestaan bedreigen. Wij willen uit het begrip der wetenschap, de wetenschap van natuur en zielsleven, nagaan waardoor Faust tot zijn klacht gedreven is. Faust heeft op alle gebied van het menschelijk weten zijn kennis uitgebreid: wat wil het zeggen: de uitbreiding der kennis? Het wil zeggen dat de waargenomen stof, die eerst een voorwerp was voor de tuchtlooze fantasie, al meer onder algemeene gezichtspunten des verstands gebracht wordt: de zonnekar met de vurige rossen en den kloeken menner, die eertijds de fantastische behoefte der jeugdige volken bevredigde, heeft de plaats geruimd voor een mechanische wet van beweging naar de eischen van het tucht-lievend verstand. Nu zijn wij verstandiger en wij zijn vooruit gegaan; wij hebben voldaan aan den eisch onzer eigen bewustheid. Maar begrijpen wij nu? Het voorbarig "ja" als antwoord op deze vraag past in den mond der famuli Wagner. Ons verstand leert ons de bizondere gevallen begrijpen uit het algemeene; den val van een steen begrijpen we uit de algemeene wet der aantrekking; het ontkiemen van een zaad begrijpen wij uit de algemeene wet der organische ontwikkeling. In zoover kan men zeggen dat wij door het verstand iets begrijpen. Maar zal dit begrijpen volledig zijn en niet een verwijzing naar het onbegrijpbare, dan moeten wij ook het Algemeene begrijpen--en dat kunnen wij niet. Zoo is er dan deze reden, om welke ons verstand niet in staat is tot wezenlijk begrijpen: dat het verstand de waargenomen wereld der bizondere gevallen (verschijnselen, gebeurtenissen) herleidt tot het Algemeene (algemeene wetten) en het Algemeene is voor hem onbegrijpelijk.   Voorbeeldig in ijver werkt het verstand voort aan zijn matelooze taak, om de veelvormige en veelvervige stof der waarneming te brengen onder de tucht van het Algemeene. Maar bij nadere bepeinzing wordt ons duidelijk dat wij niet vermogen raadsels op te lossen, doch te klassificeeren. Wij herleiden de raadseltjes tot raadsels; de bizondere raadseltjes tot algemeene raadsels; het bizondere raadseltje van het vallen eener steen tot het algemeene raadsel der aantrekkingskracht. Ons verstand is de ondernemer van een dierentuin, die zijn kooien in regelmatige orde bouwt naast elkaar en geleidelijk den toeschouwer door de opklimmende rang-orde der dierenwereld voortleidt; elke kooi draagt een welgeschilderd opschrift, waar geslacht en soort van het vertoonde schepsel te lezen staat. Maar het wezen zelf dat als representant der soort zich hier voordoet, is een onoplosbaar raadsel. Hier is de tijger, felis tigris, gevaarlijk roofdier, exemplaar der katten-familie; orde: roofdieren (carnivora); onderklasse: eigenlijke zoogdieren (monodelphia); klasse der zoogdieren (mammalia) en behoorend tot de eerste type van het dierenrijk: de gewervelde (animalia vertebrata.) Maar ik vraag u: wat loert in dat oog? Zoo gij mij dat dier wilt vertoonen, bij de goden leg mij uit wat de natuur is, dat zij zulke wezens schiep en wat de zin der schepping is, waarin dit dier zijn plaats heeft en: wat beteekent de tijger in de rangorde der wezens die gij mij zoo keurig benaamdet? Of zie dien dommen papegaai, bij welken de uil waard is vogel van Athene te zijn: wat wil de natuur dat zij dezen papegaai in haar bosschen laat. Zonder raadsels kwam ik in uw dierentuin, waarin ge mij de wereld zoudt vertoonen gekatalogiseerd: ik zou uitgaan als een begrijpende; maar gij hebt mij alleen vertoond geklassificeerde raadselen. Ons verstand is de ondernemer van dien dierentuin. Het heeft een tweeledigen arbeid: vooreerst de klassifikatie (schematisatie) der waargenomen voorwerpen naar hun eigenschappen. Wanneer wij een slak, een olifant en een nijlpaard beschouwen, blijkt al dadelijk, dat de eigenschappen der laatste twee meer onderling overeenstemmend zijn dan der eerste twee. Zoo ontstaat een indeeling der waargenomen wereld in verscheidene rangen: de anorganische wereld; de organische (plantenrijk), de bewuste wereld (dierenrijk) en de wereld der redelijke wezens. De tweede taak van het verstand is: het leven der voorwerpen van elke klasse na te sporen; herleidend het verschil der eigenschappen tot verschil van levensfunktie: in de anorganische wereld is dit leven tweeërlei: chemische verbinding en ontbinding der stoffen èn mechanische beweging; in de organische wereld is dit leven: groei (voeding, procreatie, sterven); in de bewuste wereld: bewust-zijn; in de redelijke wereld: denken en wil. En wanneer wij nu de gekompliceerde verschijnselen, die zich overal voordoen, herleid hebben tot de enkelvoudige algemeene gevallen (wetten) van het leven eener toebehoorende klasse, dan mag ons verstand even voldaan zijn als de famulus Wagner. Maar nu begint de klacht van Faust: want, het algemeene geval der aantrekkingskracht of van den groei of van het bewust-zijn of van den wil: dat is juist het onbegrepene. In het eerste zijn wij voldaan. Zoolang wij de waarnemingswereld voor oogen hebben zijn wij voldaan met de wetenschap, dat de veelvuldige werkingen, elk met hun eigen aanschijn, berusten op een zelfde algemeenheid; de groei van deze lelie gaat evenzoo als de groei van honderd andere planten, die gij reeds kent; bevruchting en voeding hier geschieden gelijk als daar. Herkennen wij in het aanschouwde natuurverschijnsel een algemeene wet, dan bevinden wij ons in een aangename situatie daar tegenover; wij zijn niet verbijsterd als tegenover het ongewone; wij weten heel wel het verschijnsel te plaatsen. Te zijnen opzichte zijn wij voldaan als Wagner.... Totdat we gaan peinzen over dat Algemeene! Over den groei zelf; over ontstaan en bevruchting en voeding en sterven. En nu niet meer over een bepaald geval ervan, maar over deze dingen zelf; hier helpt geen analogie noch verwijzing naar iets anders, tenzij naar een hooger Algemeene, dat alsdan aan uw verbijsterd oog zich vertoont. Staat ge nu niet met uw aangezicht voor het Onbegrepene? Een steen valt.... ziedaar de bizondere verschijning van het algemeen geval: de (wet der) aantrekking. Ge noemt het algemeene: de aantrekkings kracht . Kracht beteekent mysterie. Wilt ge u verwonderen? Aanschouw gindsche pompoenstruik; voor drie maanden ging een nietig zaad in de aarde. Thans staat daar een plant van vollen en schoonen vorm; de groene hoekige stengels dragen fraaie en breede bladeren, sierlijk generfd en zacht-behaard; oranje bloemkelken pronken tusschen het groen en reeds begint zich een geel en groen gevlekte vrucht te ronden. Bedenk nu niet de analogie met andere gevallen van gelijken aard: bedenk het Algemeene,--den groei; de verbandstelling tusschen het nietig ovaalvormig zaadje, dat gij nederwierpt èn deze schoone volle plant; er is niet één overeenkomst; het is even wonderlijk als dat een krokodil een eikeboom werd of een paddestoel veranderde in een mensch. Wij zijn er aan gewoon ; maar het gewone is even groot wonder als het ongewone; het Algemeene is puur mysterie en ondoordringbaar voor ons wetenschappelijk verstand. In het Algemeene (de algemeene wet) is niets geschied dan de vereenvoudiging van het bizondere; het verwarde beeld, dat door de aanschouwing voor onze oogen komt, is er tot zijn enkelvoudigen vorm, d. i. tot denkbeeld, gereinigd. Het verstand, tot zijn grens genaderd, heeft principieel en duidelijk het onkenbare voor den dag gebracht, dat zich bij de onoverwogen aanschouwing der dingen alsnog verborgen hield. Wetenschap is een herleiding tot het Onbegrepene. Vandaar de klacht van Faust: Zij die van haar de openbaring der waarheid verwacht hadden en teleurgesteld uitkwamen, hebben gesproken van haar bankroet. Volkomen ten onrechte; wat zij ondervonden hebben is het bankroet hunner verwachting. Het positivisme heeft zijn belofte niet gehouden waar het de wetenschap tot een religie maakte. Maar de menschheid, van welke Faust lid is, behoeft de verheldering van het innerlijk en deze is het die zij op den moeilijken weg der wetenschap heeft gezocht. Konden nu maar de Fausten inzien dat het Algemeene een poort is, wel gesloten, maar aan den ingang van het rijk der Waarheid gebouwd, dan zouden zij, op den weg van hun nadenken voortgeschreden hun klacht uiten met berusting, maar nu ten einde raad, klagen zij "dat wij niets kunnen weten." De scepticus houdt bij dit inzicht halt, en acht het wijsheid . Zijn karakter brengt den eisch van intellektueele zekerheid niet voort; het negatieve besluit is hem te meer welkom, omdat hij nu met handhaving zijner verstandelijke reputatie het deel des gemaks kan kiezen in het leven. En zeker: de klacht van Faust klinkt als wijsheid tegenover de wetenswaan der Wagners; maar toch is zij op die wijze niet bedoeld. In den mond der kleinere geesten is Faust's klacht de uitspraak van het zelftevreden intellekt, dat nu met zijne wetenschap van het niet-weten een eindpunt heeft bereikt. "Que sais-je" vraagt Montaigne en wordt door zijn onwetendheid niet verontrust. Hij was een verstandig mensch en een elegante geest, niet zonder bekoring; maar hij was geen Faust. Ook de groote zoekers van ons geslacht, Socrates zoowel als Paulus, hebben beleden dat de kennis waarop een menigte van halfwetenden zich verhoovaardigt, voor den dóórschouwer een oorzaak der vertwijfeling zou zijn, zoo hij niet tot nog hooger gezichtspunt klom. Van Paulus is de uitspraak: zoo iemand meent iets te weten, die heeft nog niets gekend gelijk men behoort te kennen. En Socrates zegt: ik, daar ik niets weet, zoo meen ik ook niet te weten. Doch de God is wel in waarheid wijs en meent dat de menschelijke wetenschap weinig waard is, als zeide hij: Deze o menschen is de wijste van u, die, gelijk Socrates heeft ingezien, dat hij niets waard is in wetenschap. Faust is geen scepticus, geen twijfelaar tevreden met zijn twijfelkunst. Het hoogere gezichtspunt, waarin de waarheid opengaat, is hem alsnog gesluierd. Zijn klacht klinkt tegen het gewelf van zijn studeercel in deze nacht van onderzoek en versmachting. Hoe zal deze man aan zijn klacht ontkomen?   Een weg der ontkoming is er en die niet maar de vlucht is van een moedelooze. De tot twijfel en vertwijfeling vervallene kan vluchten in den schoot der moederkerk; maar een echte ontkoming ware dat niet: veeleer een insluimering, het moede hoofd op zijden kussen neergelegd, terwijl de groote klokken der beschermende kathedraal de gedachten bedwelmen en het gelijkmatig rythme den slaap begeleidt. Maar de vlucht is voor Faust de weg der ontkoming niet. Hij zal niet ontkomen, maar te boven komen. De weg, dien men niet aanstonds vindt is deze: het leven zelf samenvatten en verheffen tot zedelijke daad en op die wijze van binnen uit met nieuwe energie het denken sterken. Het denken, door de zedelijke daad des levens tot redelijkheid verdiept, heeft het richtsnoer der waarheid in zich. Is de beschouwing over de wereld, natuur, en historie uitgeloopen in de klacht der onwetendheid, dan zal nu de aandacht, van deze "buiten"-wereld afgeleid, zich tot den denkenden mensch zelf bepalen en binnen-in-zich zal men werkelijkheid vinden en een geestelijke levensbeschouwing wordt gewonnen. De wereld blijft dan het kleurig gordijn, waarvoor zich het leven afspeelt. In eigen boezem wordt werkelijkheid wat daarbuiten tot tastlooze onzekerheid versplinterd is: "gij hebt haar verwoest de schoone wereld, in eigen boezem bouw haar op". Zoo komt de geest zijn twijfel te boven en vestigt zijne zekerheid; hij komend tot de innerlijkheid des levens, komt tot de redelijkheid van het denken en de klacht wordt omgezet in gejuich. Er is noodig een omzetting des levens, die niet in éen moment, maar in een innerlijke geschiedenis zich voltrekt. Niet een "bekeering" maar een verdieping en bevinding onzer innerlijke waarde.   Faust zoekt ontkoming bij de magische fantasie. Maar zoover is Faust nog niet, en juist de pogingen om tot waarheid te geraken éer hij zich in het leven werpt, zoekend naar zijne daad--juist zijn voorafgaande pogingen hebben een enorme bekoring. Want daarin komen groote en zinvolle vermoedens van het menschenhart tot uitspraak. De waarheid, door het verstand niet bereikt, wordt misschien bereikt door.... de fantasie? En ziehier de gedachte vleugelen aandoen om fantastisch in de geestelijke waarheid der wereld op te stijgen. Mogelijk wordt het mysterie der natuur aldus geopend? Mogelijk heeft de fantasie den gouden sleutel der poort, waarvan 't verstand niet anders vermag dan de konstruktie te bestudeeren. De vooruitgang der kennis is geweest een gaan van de fantasie tot het verstand. De oude mythologische verbeelding verklaart de natuurverschijnselen door goden en nimfen, terwijl het latere verstand de natuurverschijnselen verklaart door het algemeene (de algemeene natuurwetten). Het in de aarde geworpen zaad ontkiemt volgens een algemeene wet van organischen groei, zoo leert het verstand; maar de mythologische fantasie houdt het daarvoor, dat een fee des nachts met haar tooverstaf de zaden aanroert en het leven eruit opwekt, zoodat ze ontkiemen. Wanneer dan de mensch, ten einde des verstands en uitgekomen bij de klacht der onwetendheid, eens vàn het verstand tót de fantasie terugkeerde? Of neen niet terugkeerde, maar vóórtging: een nieuwe mythologie, een natuurfilosofische mythologie uitvond, waarin de resultaten der wetenschap omgewerkt werden in mythologischen zin? Het algemeene des verstands omgezet in het persoons-beeld der fantasie? De algemeene werkingen der natuur toegeschreven aan de energie van geesten?.... Ziehier een weg, die schijnt een weg der ontkoming aan de klacht. Het onpersoonlijk-Algemeene was de troostelooze uitkomst van het overdenken der natuur; tegenover het Algemeene staat de mensch als tegenover het steenen aangezicht der Sfinx. Maar deze uitkomst wordt blij-eindig omgezet, indien het Algemeene niet meer het troostelooze einde onzer gedachten is, doch daarin een verwantschap aan onzen eigen geest wordt vermoed. Heeft ook Schiller niet in zijn gedicht "Die Götter Griechenlands" met weemoed deze orde der fantasie verheerlijkt en uitgeroepen: "Schoone wereld, waar zijt Gij? Keer terug o bloeiende jeugd der natuur! Ach slechts in het feeënland der dichtkunst is uw fabelachtig spoor thans te herkennen. Uitgestorven treurt het zaadveld en aan mijn blik vertoont zich geen godheid meer" ....wanneer zich nu wèl in het zaadveld een god vertoonde en de wereldkrachten geestelijke machten waren, die mijn voetspoor omringden.... Gij weet wat het is.... magie? Zij is niet hetzelfde als de mythologische fantasie en wanneer misschien aan den Faustischen mensch de dichterlijke en mythologische fantasie een oogenblik het brein doorkruist, dan wijst hij haar toch af voor die andere: de magische , zooveel zinvoller dan haar zuster. De mythologische fantasie zingt, maar de magische fluistert; de dichterlijke fantasie speelt, maar de magische werkt. Zij verheft zich, belooft, bezweert en dreigt. Zij is vol angst en vol belofte, geheimzinnig als de slaap en majestueus als de dood. Verzeker dat de aantrekkingskracht liefde is, en noem de electriciteit ijver; blijf niet bij deze verklaringen in het algemeen, maar vat alle natuurwerking op als streven van geestelijke oer-wezens. Zeg dat de liefde een liefde is van elementen-geesten en dat een geheimzinnig huwelijk de tegengestelde krachten verbindt.... Zeg deze inzichten tot uzelf in het half-duister van den maannacht, in uw studeercel. Zeg ze tot uzelf, o Faust, te midden der oude perkamenten, retorten en instrumenten, terwijl ge onrustig in vergeten geschriften bladert.... en bevind dan de uitwerking uwer gedachten, terwijl de smeulende lamp knettert en de nachtwind door het geopende hooge venster steunt. Om u heen bewegen de ritselingen van opgeroepen geesten. Het is de Neo-Platonische en -Pythagoreische mystiek, die aldus het geheim der natuur wilde lezen. In de eerste eeuwen onzer jaartelling, toen de menschelijke gedachte een bewegelijkheid had als nooit tevoren en op alle wegen uitging om waarheid te zoeken, vond ook de magie grooten aanhang. Jamblichus (± 300) had een beroemden naam als filosoof, maar ook als wonderdoener en bezweerder der geesten en van hem vertelde men, dat hij Eros en Anteros, geesten van liefde en wederliefde, in levende gestalten uit twee bronnen van zijn syrisch vaderland te voorschijn riep. In den tijd der Renaissance, toen het kerkelijk systeem was losgemaakt en het denken ongehinderd op vrije wegen ging, was ook aanstonds de geesten-theorie gevonden als middel tot doorgronding van het bestaande. Heel de natuur is een werk van geestelijke machten welke men kan leeren kennen en op welke men kan invloed oefenen door de magie. De naam Paracelsus zegt genoeg: maar er is een andere naam, die in verband met Faust meer zegt: Agrippa von Nettesheim († 1535), want deze man is niet slechts een belijder der natuurmystiek, maar is ertoe gekomen langs den weg van Faust. En terwijl zijn eene geschrift den titel draagt: "over de onzekerheid en ijdelheid der wetenschappen" heet het andere "okkulte filosofie"; de weg dóór het verstand tot de klacht "ik zie dat ik niets weet" en vàn de klacht tot de fantasie. Nu is voor Faust de wereld veranderd en de kennis geen herleiding meer tot het Onbegrepene. Ons eigen streven begrijpen wij: tenminste is het feit onzer eigen strevende natuur ons zóó vertrouwd, dat wij hier geen geheimenis achter zoeken, dan welke wij rechtstreeks verstaan. Hetgeen aan ons streven verwant is en tot vorm van streven kan herleid worden, achten wij ook begrijpelijk. Welke nieuwe zienswijs, wanneer op eens de geheele natuur met haar werkingen wordt voorgesteld als aan ons streven verwant! "Wanneer de natuur u onderwijst, dan gaat de zielenkracht voor u open en verstaat ge hoe de eene geest tot den andere spreekt"; "de geestenwereld is niet toegesloten; uw verstand is toe en dood uw hart. Rijs op leerling! En baad onbezwaard uw aardsche borst in het geestes-morgenrood." Bij de aanschouwing der magische teekens, waardoor de beschouwer in rechtstreeksche aanraking komt met de aangeduide geestelijke kracht, vloeit zaligheid door alle zintuigen, een jong en vernieuwd levensgeluk stroomt nieuwgloeiend door Faust's zenuwen. Is het een God die in het magisch teeken die macht heeft neergelegd? Is hij, Faust, zelf een godheid? Hem wordt het tot licht van binnen en de werkende natuur ligt voor zijn ziel geopend!   Faust's klacht herhaald (verschijning van den Aardegeest). Deze toenadering tot het wezen der natuur, en waarbij de magiër niet slechts de natuur bedoelt, maar het hart der wereld en der werkelijkheid zelve, heeft het kenmerk der voorbarigheid. Wat Faust van het daglicht der wetenschap verzekert, kan ook van het nachtlicht der magie gelden: "De geheimenvolle natuur laat in het licht des daags zich van haar sluier niet ontdoen en wat zij niet verkiest aan uw geest te openbaren, dat ontwringt gij haar niet met hevels en met schroeven". Ook voor de magische fantasie opent zij haar geheim niet. De geestesverrukking van Faust, als hij uitroept "o welke weelde welt in dezen aanblik" is begrijpelijk. "Welke weelde vloeit door al mijn zinnen! Ik gevoel jong en heilig levensgeluk gloeiend door zenuwen en aderen stroomen. Was het een God, die deze teekens schreef, die mijn innerlijke bruising bedaren, mijn arme hart vervullen met vreugde, en met geheimzinnigen drang de krachten der natuur rondom ontsluieren? Ben ik een God? ik gevoel mij zoo licht!" De geestesverrukking van Faust is begrijpelijk, omdat zij de opstijging der ziel is uit de neerslachtigheid tot de hoop. Terwijl plotseling de klacht staakt en een nieuw vergezicht geopend wordt, trilt de aandoening door alle zenuwen en wordt de gang der gedachten rythmisch; de ziel is alreeds door het nieuwe licht omstraald--zoolang de opwekking duurt. Weldra zal de weg der fantasie een pad van vergissing blijken, wanneer het spiedend oog ook daar de richting kwijt raakt. De denker Faust zal ontwaren, dat deze wereld niet de gelijke is van den menschegeest en dat het Onbegrepene ook hier mensch en wereld uit elkaar scheidt. De droomen der magie voeren eerst recht het Onbegrepene tot vlak nabij en ontstellen den geest, die waarheid zoekt. Het was de vraag om wereld en natuur te begrijpen uit verwantschap met den menschengeest: dan zou hun zin ontsluierd zijn en het geheim der dingen openbaar. Maar het spreekt vanzelf, dat deze verwantschap, al bestaat ze ook, dieper ligt dan ons bewustzijn . Maar zou er sprake zijn om wereld en natuur te begrijpen uit verwantschap met den menschengeest, dan zou deze verwantschap bestaan moeten juist met ons bewuste zieleleven. Wat hielp het, zoo de natuur verwantschap aanwees met de onbewuste gronden van ons menschelijk wezen? Maar zie: het kleine gebied van ons innerlijk leven, dat met onze eigen lantaren wordt toegelicht, is niet meer dan een oppervlakte: afgronden liggen in ons en berghoogten verrijzen, waarvan nu en dan een vermoeden en zelfs een innerlijke ervaring in ons ontwaakt. Wij die onszelf niet kennen, ontberen die zelfkennis, waarbij het heelal wordt toegelicht, en waardoor God, wereld en natuur voor ons kenbaar zijn. Uit verwantschap met onzen onbewusten en diepen geest zou de groote wereld door ons begrepen worden.... zoo wij niet beperkt waren tot het kleine land van ons eigen bewustzijn. Hier blijkt de magie met haar verbeelding van mensch-gelijke krachten in de natuur, een fantasie van kinderlijke dwazen en gevaarlijk misbruik onzer krachten. De volledige zelfkenner zou de ware Magiër zijn, die alsdan de magie zou verachten en in de spiegel zijns eigenen geestes de eeuwige wereld kennen zou zonder toovermiddel. Maar deze zelfkenner is onder de menschen niet te vinden, en met de groote teleurstelling staat Faust voor het Onbegrepene. "Hoe voel ik mij u nabij" durft Faust den Aardegeest toeroepen, die het leven en den zin der historie van aarde en menschheid in zijn werking samenvat. "Uw gelijke ben ik!"--maar deze moed is overmoed, of het is de moed der wanhoop die op dit ééne oogenblik alles te winnen of alles te verliezen heeft. Het antwoord is verpletterend "gij gelijkt den geest dien gij begrijpt , niet mij".... en de geest verdwijnt. Zoo eindigt de eerste weg van Faust, waar hij begon, hij eindigt bij de klacht; en het einde is smartelijker dan het begin; de tweede klacht overtreft de eerste; zij is roerender en dieper; zij heeft geen melancholie en geen droefheidshumor; zij heeft alleen verschrikking: "Ik gelijk niet u? Wien dan? Ik, evenbeeld der Godheid.... ik gelijk niet eens op u!"   In diepe neerslachtigheid blijft Faust achter, wanneer de geest der aarde, door zijne magische fantasie opgeroepen, hem verlaat.... "o gelukkig wie nog hopen kan aan deze zee van dwaling te ontkomen. Wat men niet weet, dat juist kan men ontberen, en wat men weet is overbodig."--Zoo spreekt hij tot zijn famulus Wagner, die tot geen hooger gezichtspunt stijgt dan van het interessante. De onbewust-komische kracht van deze Wagners is een troost, waaraan de Fausten zich laven een kortstondig oogenblik. ChapaterII (FAUST EN MEFISTOFELES)   Het eeuwige in den mensch (de proloog in den Hemel). De denker Faust wil een kennis van het absolute. Met niets minder is hij voldaan, want wat in hem leeft en beweegt is de oneindige drang . Faust is eeuwigheidsmensch. De oneindige drang is het wezen zijner menschelijkheid. Hiermede is Faust niet "Uebermensch" maar mensch . Hij is, zoo ge wilt, de geniale mensch. Maar het genie is niet een menschensoort, die, buiten de kondities van het menschelijke bestaan levend, een eigene roeping vervult en eigen karakter heeft. Het genie is de mensch in zijn volheid, en bestaat in een zuiverder uitdrukking van het mensch-zijn. Het genie is zich op dieper wijze van het algemeen en waar menschelijke bewust. Zoo ook Faust: hij is zich bewust van den oneindigen drang, die ongeweten ook in Wagner werkt. Hij is zich bewust van de eeuwigheid in hem en daardoor streeft zijn denkerschap naar het allerhoogste. In dit opzicht zijn wij aan Faust verwant. Waarlijk, noch Faust, noch zijn streven zouden ons belang inboezemen, zoo wij ons niet aan hem verwant wisten en zoo niet in zijn lot een beeld van het onze geschilderd was, hoewel in blinkender kleuren. Het loutere verhaal boeit slechts kinderen; de geschiedenis van iemands worstelingen zonder meer houdt ons eenige uren bezig; maar wat in het Faust-gedicht een eeuw lang de lezende en denkende menschheid geboeid en verwonderd heeft, is de aanschouwing van haar eigen streven en haar eigen levensdrang in dichterlijk beeld. Zoo is de oneindige drang het wezen ook onzer menschlijkheid. Tot het begrijpen van de Faustfiguur dalen wij af naar de gronden onzer menschelijkheid; de dichter zelf heeft ons dezen weg gewezen door aan het optreden van zijn figuur een "proloog in den hemel" te doen voorafgaan. Hier zien wij God op den hemelschen troon gezeten en door engelen omringd. Wij hooren het gezang der aartsengelen, verheerlijkend de werken der natuur, den omloop der zon, die instemt in den reizang der planeten en haar dagreis met donderslag voltooit. De engelen ontvangen sterkte uit dezen aanblik en de onbegrijpelijk verhevene werken Gods zijn heerlijk als op den eersten scheppingsdag. Ook de aarde wentelt in de ruimte met haar pracht in snelle beweging om en de helderheid als van het paradijs wisselt af met diepe huiveringwekkende nacht; de zee schuimt met haar breede vloeden; rots en zee bewegen mede in de omwenteling der planeet, en stormen bruisen, een verband van ingrijpende werkingen uitoefenend en bliksemende verwoesting vlamt vooruit op het pad des donders. Maar Gods boden verheerlijken het zachte wandelen van den dag. Terwijl aldus de Aartsengelen als wereldmachten de kosmische werkzaamheid Gods verkondigen, verschijnt Mefistofeles met zijn ironisch beklag over den mensch. Hij kent ze de menschen, wezens die zich aftobben, bedeeld met de rede, die een valsche schijn is van het hemelsche licht en waarvan ze niet anders kunnen dan misbruik maken. Een hunner is de doctor Faust, die in zijn onbevredigd zoeken de schoonste ster van den hemel vordert en de hoogste lust van de aarde. Al het verhevene, dat God in dien mensch ziet, is niet anders dan dwaze waan: zoo Mefistofeles hem maar eens mocht meenemen op zìjne wegen, zou hij volgaarne afstand doen van zijn dusgewaande hoogere natuur. Welaan! zoo spreekt de goddelijke wijsheid over dezen mensch: hij zij overgegeven aan Mefistofeles om van zijn oorsprong te worden afgerukt; hij worde omlaag gevoerd op Mefistofeles' weg: eindelijk zal de verleider beschaamd staan wanneer hij moet erkennen: een goede mensch blijft in het duistere gedrang zich van den rechten weg welbewust. En hieraan voegt de goddelijke wijsheid toe: al te licht verslapt des menschen werkkracht en bemint hij de onbepaalde rust; daarom geef ik hem den medgezel, die aanspoort en drijft en die als duivel zijn moet in gestadige werking. In dezen "proloog in den hemel" wordt dus Faust genoemd in een ander verband dan van zijn studeercel. Eerst worden ons het kosmisch leven en de groote werkingen der wereldmachten voor oogen gevoerd en aanstonds daarna wordt de mensch herdacht als lid in dit wereldgeheel. Het is God zelf, die na het gezang der aartsengelen den naam van Faust uitspreekt. In de groote werkingen des heelals is hij ingedacht; hij heet onafscheidbaar van zijn eeuwigen oorsprong en treedt ons dus voor oogen als eeuwigheidswezen. Niet maar een vergankelijk deel der aardsche verschijning is hij, maar een door God met hoogeren inhoud toegeruste; en terwijl Mefistofeles hem vatbaar waant voor verderf en ondergang, weet God, dat in hem een kracht woont, door geen verderf aantastbaar. In den mensch is het oneindige; krachtens den onuitputtelijken, oneindigen drang is hij mensch . In iederen mensch is het bovenpersoonlijke , algemeene en kosmische. Het wereldgeheel is in hem vertegenwoordigd, zooals de val van een voorwerp de aantrekkingskracht in het algemeen beduidt, en zooals in een enkele plant de geheele natuur werkzaam is.   De verstorende macht. Faust dan is vergezeld door Mefistofeles . Reeds in den proloog is deze figuur toegelicht; te duidelijker blijkt zijn wezen waar hij zich aan Faust onthult in de studeercel en in den omgang, dien hij met zijn geleider pleegt. De inkleeding der Mefisto-gedachte is evenals het Gods- en hemelbegrip in den proloog aan de Middeleeuwsche voorstelling ontleend; maar de gedachte zelf is mijlen ver van het Middeleeuwsche geloof verwijderd. Het Middeleeuwsche geeft hier zijn magisch-dichterlijken glans af: de booze geest in een zwarten poedel geïnkarneerd, loopt op Faust, die met Wagner langs de velden wandelt, in al nauwer kring toe, een vuurspoor achterlatend. Daarna in de studeercel van Faust meegekomen en door magische spreuken gedwongen, onthult hij zich als Mefistofeles in de gedaante van een reizend scholier, zooals de Middeleeuwen ze bij menigte telde en aan wier reputatie vaak een geheimzinnig verdachte bijsmaak was. Welke nu is de beteekenis van Mefistofeles in het Faustgedicht? Want deze figuur heeft een zeer bepaalde beteekenis voor Faust. De dichter heeft in het Middeleeuwsche beeld de Middeleeuwsche gedachte verlaten, niet bedoeld een persoonlijken duivel, boozen geest of zelfstandig wezen, maar een faktor van Faust's menschelijkheid zelf, een element in den menschegeest. Geen wezen naast Faust maar een wezen in Faust. In Faust vindt, gelijk ieder mensch, de goddelijke geest (die het menschelijk wezen zelf is in zijn hoogere Algemeenheid) eene belichaming, en Faust is zich hiervan als van een oneindigen drang bewust. Dit hoogere en algemeene wezen is in ons een aanleg, die zich moet verwerkelijken. Niet in eens zijn wij die wij zijn . De majesteit van ons wezen is nog omhuld. Het is nog niet openbaar wat wij zijn zullen, zegt de apostel Paulus. Dit beteekent dat de bepaalde persoonlijkheid, die wij zijn, een grond en diepte verbergt, die eerst in de voltooiing des levens tot volle verschijning komt. Deze oneindige drang nu verwerkelijkt zich door eerst zijn tegendeel te stellen en in zich zijn tegendeel te overwinnen. Is niet de mannelijke wijsheid veroverd op de dwaasheid der jeugd en wordt niet de innerlijke vrijheid gewonnen na het bewustzijn van benauwing en onmacht, zoodat alle schoonheid en waarheid onzes geestes tot stand komen door een overwicht over het leelijke en over de leugen? Het licht schept de duisternis, die niet anders is dan een tegenstelling des lichts, maar daarna zal het licht de duisternis overwinnen. Daar nu de mensch een kosmisch wezen is, doorleeft hij dezen wereldstrijd in zichzelf; zijn oneindige drang, een werkende en scheppende macht, roept zijn eigen tegendeel, het begrenzend en verstorend element te voorschijn. In de triomf over dit zal de oneindige natuur zich verwerkelijken. Faust brengt zijn Mefistofeles voort om over hem te triomfeeren. Bij de onthulling in de studeercel verklaart Mefisto, dat hij is een deel van die kracht, die steeds het booze wil en het goede voortbrengt. Hij is het Faustisch deel van deze; de kracht zelve is het duister element dat de Goddelijke scheppingsdrang voortbrengt uit zichzelf, afscheidt en overwint; deze wil ten kwade wordt tot het goede aangewend. In de menschelijkheid van Faust heeft hetzelfde plaats. Faust's titanisch wezen, werpt een duistere schaduw van zich af, gelijk iedere mensch zijn schaduw heeft. En gelijk een schaduw met ons is totdat ze verbleekt, zoo is Mefisto de reisgezel van Faust. Mefisto is de negatieve zijde van Faust's wezen. Ook het denken van Faust is een kamp tegen Mefistofeles. En hier is Mefisto de ontkenner van de waarheid. Tegenover den wil tot waarheid, stelt hij de ironie en den twijfel. De twijfel is zijn beginsel omdat daarin de oneindige waarheidsdrang is verloochend en om den waarheidsdrang te fnuiken leert hij tevens een pedante voldaanheid met het beetje ordinaire wetenschap, alreeds verzameld.... bij welke voldaanheid het hooggestemd gemoed zal inslapen en ten gronde gaan. De verstandsheld is met zijn wetenschap tevreden en bemerkt niet eens, dat het denken zijn grenzen heeft. De famulus Wagner met zijn beperkten geestesaard is nog steeds aan het verzamelen van feiten. De grazende koeien zijn zich niet bewust, dat de natuur, die hen van gras voorziet, mysteries in haar schoot omvat. Wie chemische formules toepast op de stof vindt werk en bemerkt van geen grond des geheims in deze formules zelf omsloten. Maar de eeuwigheidsmensch die ook den lust kent van het nijvere weten, en de verleiding om zich daaraan te vergasten, onbekommerd over diepte, hoogte en mysterie--de eeuwigheidsmensch heeft toch verkozen de klacht over de onkenbaarheid der wereld en wil worstelend naar de verborgen waarheid zoeken. Voldaanheid met minder dan het volstrekte zou voor hem een ontkenning van de waarheid zijn, een verderving van zijn hoogste verlangen, een Mefistofelische leugen. Zijn eigen hoogere wezen ware daardoor getroffen en te gronde gericht. De titanische natuur van Faust verlangt geen gemakkelijke voldaanheid, maar streven. De onvoldaanheid van Faust, die een bewustzijn is van onze oneindigheid, wie heeft haar niet op eigen wijze nagevoeld? Zelfs de famulus Wagner zuchtte eens: ach God, de kunst is lang en kort is ons leven, ook hij besefte de ons opgelegde taak te groot voor verwerkelijking. Als wij teleurgesteld zijn om het onbereikbare, of mismoedigd ons werktuig neerleggen, over het werk ontevreden, dat wij toch niet opgeven; als onze hoop met vreeze is vervuld.... telkens weder schrijnt de onvoldaanheid onze worstelende natuur. Zooals een laat-zomer-avond ons met zijn melancholie overvalt, zoo stort het leven een droefheid om het oneindige in ons uit. Ons bepalen bij de genoegens en voldoeningen, die het menschelijk bestaan meebrengt kunnen wij niet. Zoo wij onszelven toestonden voldaan te zijn, het ware een onderwerping aan Mefistofeles. Mefistofeles is een verleider, die ons poogt af te leiden van onze hooge menscheroeping; maar zijn oogmerk ligt verder dan een verleiding zonder meer; de verleiding is niet meer dan middel en het doel, waarheen hij streeft is verstoring . Hij wil verderven, te niet doen. Hij wil den waren levensdrang vernietigen. "Ik ben de geest die steeds ontkent" roept hij tot Faust. Wel is waar is het onmogelijk om louter ontkennend te zijn en niet anders dan ontkennend en verstorend te werken; want de ontkenning staat in dienst van een erkenning (nl. de erkenning van het tegenovergestelde)--maar dit is bewijs te meer, dat Mefisto niet als zelfstandige grootheid bedoeld is, maar als een deel van Faust's persoonlijkheid. Van zijn standpunt uit "is alles wat bestaat waard om te gronde te gaan". Immers al wat bestaat, bestaat krachtens een drang van leven, en deze drang zelf wordt door Mefisto verstoord. Hij, die in allen menschelijken arbeid het teeken ziet van den drang ten leven, acht het beter dat niets ontstond; en daar het booze de verwoesting is van het levensgeluk, noemt hij het booze zijn eigenlijke element. Let wel: niet om het kwaad als zoodanig, maar om de verstorende uitwerking daarvan. Met plechtiger gebaar dan men van dezen ironischen verwoester verwachten zou, redeneert hij tot Faust: "Ik ben een deel des deels, dat in den aanvang het al was: een deel der duisternis, waaruit het licht geboren werd, het trotsche licht, dat nu aan zijn moeder de nacht den ouden rang en plaats misgunt." Ja, Mefistofeles is het tegendeel der goddelijke scheppingskracht, en waar deze uit den chaos het licht als levenskracht doet verrijzen, daar zal eens, gelijk hij hoopt, het licht tot den duisteren chaos terugkeeren en alle schepping des lichts zal zijn vergaan.   Mefistofeles: ontkenning en ironie. Wij komen hier nog eenmaal terug op onze bewering, dat Mefistofeles een deel is van Faust zelf. De oneindige levensdrang stelt zijn tegendeel om in de overwinning hierover zichzelf te bevestigen, en aldus het oneindige en eeuwige in ons te verwerkelijken. De zin tot hoogste waarheid moet eerst den twijfel doorleven en deze komt niet van elders, maar is een voortbrengsel van ons eigen wezen. Worstelend met haar eigen negatie komt onze diepe menschelijkheid tot de overwinning. Is het raadselachtig, dat Faust-zelf zijn Mefistofeles voortbrengt? Zeker niet, wanneer wij bedenken dat in de wereld tegenstrijdige beginselen noodwendiglijk met elkaar verbonden zijn, en dat het eene de ontkenning is van het andere. De oneindigheid is ons wezen en wij leven onder eindige voorwaarden: zoo moeten deze laatste zich tegen ons keeren. Wij bestaan uit eindige faktoren, al onze daden zijn pogingen, onze liefde is maar betrekkelijk en ons kunnen is begrensd; geen kunstenaar die in eigen werk meer ziet dan de halfgeslaagde uitdrukking zijner idee. Het werk keert zich tegen hem en al onze pogingen verschijnen ons als een ontkenning onzer oneindigheid. Op hoeveel hooger trap onze levensuitingen bedoeld zijn, zooveel te meer zijn ze mislukt: is er één godsdienstige vorm, die niet jammerlijk achterblijft bij de religieuze idee? Zoo ooit dan treft ons hier de Mefistofelische ironie, die onze hoogste bedoelingen verstoort. De menschegeest is een oceaan, die moet omvat worden in een vijver: de eindigheid onzer levensvoering keert zich als een verstorend geweld tegen ons hooger ik. Dat in onze levensvoering een ontkenning schuilt tegenover ons hoogere wezen, is voor iedereen ondervindbaar, die niet, als de heroën, alle verleiding te boven is. Maar wij menschen pogen het eindige met het oneindige te verzoenen; wij regelen voorloopig onzen wil naar ons vermogen, aldus den oneindigen levensdrang niet ontkennend, maar hem tijd gevende en een toekomst belovend, om zijn vollen aanleg te verwerkelijken. Daarbij komt, dat de geestelijke verrichtingen, die het meest dien drang aanzetten, natuurbewondering, kunst, wijsbegeerte, godsdienst, dezelfde zijn, die hem bevredigen, zoodat een geleidelijk te vervullen taak, die zich tot in verre verschieten verlengt, de gelukkige afleiding is voor een al te hevig innerlijk konflikt. Maar toch blijft de tegenstelling bestaan en zoo ons eeuwige wezen zich bedreigd weet door de Mefistofelische verleiding, rijst het op en keert zich tegen Mefistofeles en zijn arglistige ontkenning, ja keert zich tegen alle zinnelijke voldaanheid, als waarin zich Mefistofeles met de bedoeling om het oneindige te belagen, vermomd heeft. De Indische leer der begoocheling, die de geheele zichtbare wereld als onware schijnwerkelijkheid verwerpt; de Neo-platonische leer, dat de ziel zich in deze wereld bevindt als in een gevangenschap; het christelijke ascetisme, dat alle zingenot verwerpt; de mystische versmachting van een heilige Theresia; het oneindigheidsverlangen der duitsche Romantiek en niet het minst de wijsgeerige benadering van het Absolute, waarbij de menschegeest zich van de eindigheid der ervaarbare wereld bevrijdt--zij alle zijn de poging van den oneindigheidsdrang om de aardsche begrenzing omver te stooten. Zij zijn een tebovenstijging boven de aardsche voldaanheid, door Mefistofeles aangepraat en waarmeê hij ons innerlijke wezen verstoren wil. De hooggestegen geesteskracht getuigt alsdan tegen maatschappij, bestaanden godsdienstvorm, overlevering, zede, instelling, kerk, eigendom, huisgezin, zinnenschoon. Alle voorwaarden der gewone levensvreugd moeten het ontgelden, omdat Mefistofeles zich in hen heeft vermomd als vijand onzer oneindigheid. De oneindigheidsdrang zegeviert; verscheurt de begoocheling, bevrijdt de ziel en verzaakt de wereld, met alle historisch gegroeide en betrekkelijke werkelijkheid in botsing. Het absolute bevestigt zich door het nietige en betrekkelijke te verstoren. Zoo overwint de oneindigheid in ons den Mefistofeles. Maar voorloopig is de verhouding nog andersom en kant zich Mefisto met verstorende bedoeling tegen Faust, Meesterlijk hanteert hij de ironie, dit ideëele middel om de waarheid omver te loopen; de ironie rukt alles uit zijn hooge verband en brengt het verhevene tot het alledaagsche terug. Zij is het vuur van den wereldbrand, de verwoestende vlam, dienaresse van het Niet. Mefisto zegt, na zijn uitspraak dat uit alle wereldelementen het leven ontspringt: "had ik mij niet de vlam voorbehouden, er ware niets eigens voor mij overgebleven." Dat echter de ironie wondt, maar niet kan dooden wat leeft, dat zij geen macht is, maar een onmacht, is niet aan Mefistofeles, maar wel aan Faust bekend. Op juiste wijze karakteriseert Faust het vergeefsche werk van zijn tegenstander: "Zoo heft gij tegen de eeuwig werkzame heilzaam-scheppende macht de koude duivelsvuist op, die gij boosaardig balt, doch vergeefs".   De weddenschap van Faust en Mefistofeles. Maar Faust zal eerst gaan op den weg van Mefistofeles, alvorens hij zijn tegenstander overwint. Hij die in het zoeken naar de absolute kennis is teleurgesteld en geschokt is in het bewustzijn van zijn oneindige menschewaarde, is te meer vatbaar voor de Mefistofelische verleiding. Mefisto acht dat Faust op dit oogenblik gaarne een weinig zinnenroes als surrogaat voor zijn oneindigheidsverlangen zal aanvaarden en dat dan de oneindigheidsdrang wel bezwijken zal. Inderdaad is Faust, ook al zal hij met Mefisto meegaan, zich van de onverstoorbaarheid zijner hoogere natuur bewust, zooals in den proloog verklaard werd: een goede mensch is in het duistere gedrang toch zich van den rechten weg bewust. Nooit zal Faust bevredigd bij den zinnenlust, die de negatie zijns wezens is, verwijlen. Nooit zal hij de oneindigheid vergeten. Werd hij inderdaad bevredigd, dan zou hij verzinken in de macht van het onwezen, dat tot hem sprak: al wat ontstaat is waard om te gronde te gaan. Hier ligt de beteekenis der weddenschap tusschen Faust en Mefisto. Uit Mefisto's oogpunt schijnt het mogelijk den levensdrang van Faust in de ontkenning te doen ondergaan. Immers zoodra hij met bevrediging in het betrekkelijke en in den zinnenlust verwijlt, doet Faust afstand van zijn ware menschelijkheid. Mefisto, de negatieve, acht dit mogelijk, daar hij den inhoud van het menschelijk wezen niet begrijpt. Indien maar Faust's geest zich een weinig beperken wil, meent hij, is het geen reuzenwerk hem te voeren tot die zelfvoldaanheid waarmee hij ten ondergaat. Met verleidende woorden poogt Mefisto den oneindigen drang te binden. "Wat gij wilt, zoo spreekt hij tot Faust, het al-tegelijk, dat is slechts voor een God gemaakt. Gij zijt tenslotte.... wat gij zijt, ook al zet ge u een pruik van millioen lokken op het hoofd en zet uw voet op hakken van meters hoog." Faust daarentegen ontkent bij zichzelf de mogelijkheid van vernietiging; hij weet dat de oceaan niet in een drinkbeker kan geledigd worden en dat het oneindige bewustzijn niet bevredigd wordt in een oogenblik van zinnenlust. Daarom durft hij zonder aarzeling de weddenschap met Mefisto aan: "wanneer ik ooit bevredigd mij op het bed der traagheid neerleg, zoo zij het met mij gedaan; kunt gij mij door vleierij beliegen en mij bedriegen door het genot, zoodat ik mijzelf behaag, dan zij mijn laatste dag aangebroken. Wanneer ik tot het oogenblik zeg: blijf, want gij waart schoon genoeg, sla mij dan in boeien, want dan mag ik te gronde gaan. Deze weddenschap ga ik aan met u!" De zinnelijkheid, eensdeels het uitingsmiddel onzer geestelijke natuur, is anderzijds een ontkenning onzer hoogste waarde. De mensch als geestelijk wezen is zich van de ontoereikendheid en onmacht der zinnelijke natuur bewust. Krachtens dit hooge besef durft Faust de weddenschap met Mefistofeles aan. ChapaterIII( FAUST IN DE WILDERNIS)   Zelfverlies in den zinnenlust Faust heeft door zijn klacht om het hoogere weten het geloof betoond aan zijn oneindige wezenheid. En toen zelfs de magie hem niet tot het inzicht der waarheid leidde, heeft hij waarheid gezocht bij den dood. Faust wil sterven opdat de dood hem wijs make: hij wil dat duister ingaan, dat bij het binnendringen misschien zich als het geopenbaarde geheim onthullen zal. Door den dood heen grijpen naar het absolute. Vandaar dat hij plotseling in jubel uitbreekt: de aardgeest heeft hem verbijsterd, maar desniettegenstaande heeft hij zelf den weg der waarheid gevonden. En waarlijk niet in wanhoop, maar in den triomf begroet hij den giftbeker: "ik groet u gij kristallen schaal, die ik nu met eerbied aanvat; in u vereer ik menschelijk vernuft en kunst. Gij samenvatting der zoete sluimersappen, uittreksel aller doodelijke krachten, bewijs thans uw gunst aan den meester! Ik zie u, de smart verzacht; ik vat u aan: ik voel mijn jacht verminderen; de vloed des geestes gaat over in eb en wijst mij naar de volle zee henen; het spiegelende water glanst aan mijne voeten en tot nieuwe oevers lokt een nieuwe dag.... bereid gevoel ik mij op nieuwe baan het luchtruim te doordringen naar sferen van nieuwe werkzaamheid. O hooge leven, o godenweelde! Te voren nog een worm en nu reeds verdien ik deze. Keer vastbesloten den rug toe aan de aardsche zon; vermeet u slechts de poort te openen langs welke ieder mensch het liefst voorbijsluipt! Hier is het oogenblik gekomen om door daden te bewijzen, dat mannenwaarde niet voor godenhoogte terugwijkt!" Nochtans bezwijkt dit doodsenthousiasme voor den zang des levens, die stroomend van de Paaschklokken in Faust's studeercel binnendringt. De weg door den dood tot het mysterie is op eens versperd. Een andere weg moet zich openen. Deze ligt van de studeercel in de menschelijke samenleving . De oneindige drang, welke Faust's natuur is, zal hier niet ondergaan, slechts anders gericht worden. In het leven waar hij nu ingaat, geldt zijn weddenschap met Mefistofeles. In de menschenwereld, waarin Faust door Mefisto geleid wordt, had zijn oneindigheidsdrang zich kunnen voordoen als een Napoleontische heerschzucht of als de zucht naar apotheose, zooals der Romeinsche Caesaren; zelfs had hij naar het wonderbaarlijke kunnen streven gelijk Apollonius en Cagliostro. Immers op deze wijze kon Mefisto gepoogd hebben aan zijn hevige verlangen te gemoet te komen. Maar de oneindigheidsdrang onder Mefisto's leiding openbaart zich in een onstuimige zinnelijkheid : "de draad van het denken is doorgebroken; van alle wetenschap walg ik: laat ons in de diepte der zinlijkheid gloeiende hartstochten stillen! Storten wij ons in den roes des tijds en in de wenteling der gebeurtenissen!" Meen echter niet dat Faust in deze razernij een voldoening zoekt en zich aan Mefistofeles zal gevangen geven. Veeleer zal hij als een stormwind alle geluk en geluksvoorwerp uiteen blazen en eerste stort hij zich in het niets dan zich te vleien met begoocheling. Vandaar ook zijn schrikwekkend woord: "ik vervloek alles wat de ziel omspant met lokwerk van begoocheling! vervloekt zij de hooge illusie van den menschelijken geest, vervloekt de verblindende schijn; vervloekt de bedriegelijke droom van roem en bezit, van vrouw en kind en knecht en heer; vervloekt het balsemsap der druiven en vervloekt de zaligheid der min; vloek over de hoop en over het geloof en vloek voor alles over het geduld!" De zinnenbegeerte van Faust is geheel anders dan Mefistofeles bedoelt. Zij stamt uit den oneindigen drang naar zielsverzadiging en kenmerkt zich door voorbijstreving van haar doel. Zij wil niet genieten, maar zich verliezen. Tevoren was Faust's leven ontbering; nu wil hij niet-ontberen en zijn geweldig streven tot het uiterste der gevoels-spanning voortzetten en in zielsverrukking sterven. "Zalig wien de dood in den glans der overwinning de bloedige lauwers om de slapen windt; zalig wien hij na de razernij van den dans in de armen van een meisje aantreft." Of anders verkiest hij een snerpende ontgoocheling, die met zijn geestesaard beter overeenstemt dan de voldoening welke Mefisto belooft: "Hebt gij spijs die niet verzadigt, rood goud dat als kwikzilver mij in de hand ontloopt; een spel waarbij men nimmer wint; een meisje dat aan mijn borst gelegen, zich reeds met het wenken der oogen aan mijn nabuur verbindt; de godenlust der eer die als een meteoor verdwijnt--geef ze mij! Toon mij de vrucht die verrot eer men haar plukt!" Faust wijdt zich aan de dronkenheid en het genot dat met smarten zegent, aan den haat der liefde, aan het verdriet, dat de ziel verkwikt. Voor geen smart gesloten, wil hij genieten wat toebedeeld is aan de gansche menschheid, haar vreugd èn jammer; zijn eigen zelf tot het zelf der menschheid verbreeden, en met haar wil hij ten onder gaan. Ziehier de zinnenbegeerte van dezen titanischen mensch. Het is geen genot dat hij zoekt. "Gij hoort toch: om vreugd is het mij niet te doen." Het is zelf-verlies; gelijk hij door een teug uit den giftbeker zichzelven gewelddadig wou inslingeren in het mysterie des doods, zoo werpt hij zich thans in de zinnelijkheid met de onstuimigheid van zijn rusteloos gemoed. Hoe zou het mogelijk zijn dat Mefistofeles dezen stormenman in zijne bedwelming ving! Onder de leiding echter van zijn verstorende macht is het voor Faust niet anders mogelijk dan te vertoeven in een wildernis. Het omslaan uit den weetdrang naar den zinnenlust heeft vele lezers van Goethe's gedicht verwonderd; het kwam hun voor dat de Faust van den eersten monoloog, de uitspreker van de klacht, èn de Faust, die Gretchen verleidt niet meer gemeen hebben dan den naam, en dat wij in waarheid een geheel ander karakter voor oogen hebben hier en daar. Bij deze beoordeeling vergeet men echter dat de Faust geen psychologisch persoonsdrama is, gelijk in de school der Fransche klassieke gegeven werd; maar een symbolisch gedicht. Racine had zeker van den Faust niets begrepen en hem uit een oogpunt van dramatische kompositie dubbel en dwars afgekeurd. De eenheid van gedrag des hoofdpersoons is ver te zoeken. Faust is geen bepaalde persoon; maar hij is de mensch en de mensch in verscheidene fasen van het oneindigheidsbewustzijn; de tafereelen van het dichtstuk hangen niet samen als voorvallen uit het leven eener bepaalde menschenfiguur. Het geestelijk leven kan zich verjeugdigen. Het kan zijn dat een grijsaard voller idealist is dan een jonkman, die zijn levenslust verloor; men kan eerst oud zijn naar den geest en daarna jong. Zoo verschijnt Faust in het begin als bejaard man en in de Gretchen-episode als een jeugdig kavalier. Hier zijn geestelijke fasen in beeld gebracht. De verjongingsdrank, dien de dichter aan zijn held in de heksenkeuken te genieten geeft, is niet anders dan de aanwijzing van overgang tot nieuwe geestesfase. Moge hierdoor het Faust-drama een onwaarschijnlijkheid hebben en verwarring stichten voor een uitwendigen verstaander, de inwendige toedracht is zoo geheel waar en de inwendige eenheid des poeëems zoo onbestrijdbaar, dat de verbazing over verschillende gestalten van Faust allen grond verliest.   De onmacht van Mefistofeles (Faust in Mefisto's leiding) De wildernis waarin Mefistofeles Faust vergezelt heeft verschillende gebieden; Faust vertoeft tusschen de drinkende boeren in Auerbachs wijnkelder, bezoekt de heksenkeuken, verwijlt in de zoete vreugde van Gretchens liefde en komt te gast met de heksen in Walpurgisnacht. Alleenlijk het verkeer met Gretchen oefent een schoone verleiding uit en daarin schijnt het soms als zal Faust de weddenschap verliezen door tot het oogenblik te zeggen: houd stand, want gij zijt schoon genoeg. Voor Gretchen misschien zal hij den oneindigheidsdrang verloochenen. Is zij niet het toonbeeld der lieve onschuld van het aardsche geluk? In haar is de wereld op haar schoonst, gelijk in den bloei der vruchtboomen op een zonnigen Meimorgen. Zoo er onbetwist geluk is en zijn mag, en zoo wij met de wereld en het leven ons verzoenen, en de vraag naar het oneindige met reden tot zwijgen gebracht wordt--het is bij de aanschouwing eener zoo landelijke en vredige lieflijkheid, als wij in hare verschijning belichaamd zien. Maar ach, nu Faust's oneindigheidsdrang in Mefistofeles' leiding tot een verstorend geweld werd en nu zijn begeerte zoo hevig brandt als te voren zijn drang naar kennis, nu kan het niet anders of het geheele geluk van Faust en van Gretchen moet als tot een wildernis vergaan. Het meisje, wier leven door den storm van Faust's hartstocht verwoest wordt, staat niet als een vreemdeling buiten Faust, maar houdt verband met de aardsch-nederige en tevredene zijde van Faust's eigen karakter. Het levensproces eens menschen is een proces in de ziel en de dichter stelt het in beelden voor en laat het dus buiten den mensch voorvallen. Maar in deze beelden ligt de aanduiding van de worstelingen des karakters. Faust's karakter heeft de lieflijke, humane zijde evenzeer als de titanische, maar zij is geen hoofdeigenschap en zal dus door den oneindigen drang worden aangestormd. De behoefte aan levensgeluk is hem gelijk allen menschen eigen. Hoe vrij heeft hij geademd in de voorjaarsnatuur van den Paaschmorgen, terwijl de vroolijke menigte de wegen vult. Te midden van deze heeft hij zich mensch gevoeld en zijn recht op het leven erkend. In de liefde voor Gretchen eindelijk werden de teerste snaren van het menschelijk gemoed aangeslagen. Het konflikt tusschen den oneindigen drang en den aardschen vrede, is een konflikt, waarmede wel de bestaande orde der maatschappij wordt aangetast, maar dat ten slotte in de ziel van dien titanischen mensch zelf wordt uitgestreden. De woede der titanische zinnelijkheid komt aldus Faust, in het beeld van Gretchen, op een ondergang van alle aardsche vreugd te staan; hij verstoort zijn aardsche bestaan door den drang der oneindigheid en eindigt hier met nog heviger klacht, dan welke hij ophief na de verschijning van den aardgeest; een klacht welke ditmaal een aanklacht is tegen de macht der verstoring: "Hond, afschuwelijk ondier, word o slang veranderd in de hondgestalte waarin gij mij verscheent; verander in uw lievelingsbeeld en kruip op den buik in het stof, en ik trap u met den voet, verworpeling. Ellende, door geen menschenziel te vatten, dat meer dan éen ziel in de diepte van zulken jammer verzinken moest...." "O ware ik nimmer geboren." Het einde van dezen weg in de wildernis van het leven bereikt Faust in zijn wilden dans met de heksen op den Blocksberg in Walpurgisnacht. Alleenlijk deze fantastische spookwereld blijft nog over, nu Faust in Gretchens omgang het verlangde oogenblik der voldaanheid niet heeft beleefd. Mefisto zal hier hem tot het laagste punt des levens heenvoeren. Mogelijk dat het walgelijke aan zijn titanischen drang voldoet, nu hij het bekoorlijke verwierp. Aan den heksendans is tenminste een diabolisch genot te beleven, en daar niets anders overblijft zal misschien Faust zich hier gewonnen geven. Bereidwillig laat hij zich meevoeren. Door een dwaallicht geleid, schrijden Faust en Mefisto de tooversfeer binnen, de rotsen hebben menschen-neuzen, spookvogel, kievit en ekster zijn wakker gebleven en de hagedissen kruipen met de muizen door het struikenbosch, terwijl boomwortels uit den bodem steken en glimwormen een verwarrend geleide geven. Onderwijl draait het geheele landschap en is het alsof rots en boomen gezichten trekken; vuurgloed en lichtstrepen maken de wereld geheimzinnig; vonken storten zich uit als fonteinstralen en de geheele rotswand is verlicht. Onderwijl steekt de storm op en schudden de denneboomen, wier takken afbreken al krakend; gegier, gesis en geraas doorblaast de lucht en langs den geheelen berg stroomt woedend een tooverzang. Een menigte van heksen nadert door de lucht varende, zoodat Mefisto voor Faust ruimte moet maken opdat hij niet worde omvergeworpen. Zij wijken ter zijde en terwijl bij uitgegloeide kolen een klein gezelschap van oude heeren zitten, vinden zij weldra twee heksen, een oude en een jonge; en terwijl Mefisto de oude grijpt voor den dans dwingt hij Faust om met de jonge om te springen. Dit oogenblik is het dieptepunt der leidingen van Mefistofeles. Hij meene echter niet, dat de Faustische geest hier iets anders zal beseffen dan afkeer. Reeds zoovele malen is Mefisto's onmacht gebleken om Faust te verderven. Elke periode zijner werking eindigt met een zelfbevrijding. In den wijnkelder van Auerbach, heeft Faust het gansche schouwspel met onverschilligheid bijgewoond, en wanneer ten slotte de lustige drinkers uitroepen "wij voelen ons heelemaal kanibalisch lekker gelijk aan vijfhonderd varkens" heeft hij nog slechts éen wensch te uiten: ik verlang nu heen te gaan. In de heksenkeuken wordt Faust geboeid door het in den spiegel aanschouwde beeld van Helena: een nieuw verlangen wordt in hem levend, maar voor het overige vindt hij in al het gedoe dezer onsympathieke wezens niets dan smakeloos bedrog. Daarop volgt de Gretchen-episode. Ongekende gevoelens van teedere bekoring stillen de machtige levensdorst van Faust; en misschien zou hij hier het gevaarlijk oogenblik bereiken, zoo niet een geheimzinnige aantrekkingskracht hem uit de oase naar de woestijn terugtrok. Deze vreugde moet eindigen in wanhoop; ook terwijl Gretchen zijn gemoed en zinnen bevredigt, verkeert Faust in de wildernis, die weldra zich in groot onheil openbaren zal. De scala der aandoeningen van Gretchens gemoed teekent deze afzinking naar het jammer, waarin Faust aan Mefisto ontkomt; terwijl de genotsbevrediging hem aan Mefisto zou hebben overgeleverd. Bezorgdheid is de grondtoon van haar liefde, sedert haar ontboezeming "mijn rust is henen, mijn hart is bezwaard" en het klagende lied voor het beeld der Mater Dolorosa is zóo van leed vervuld, dat wij hier het ergste voorzien: "help en red mij van smaad en dood! ach buig gij smartenrijke genadig uw aangezicht tot mijn ellende neer!" Het leed van Gretchen zal het leed van Faust blijken; het is niet anders dan de afspiegeling van zijn titanische natuur, die alle aardsche verhoudingen verbreekt en wiens geluk vanzelf in ongeluk omslaat. Wanneer dan Gretchens broeder Valentin in een tweegevecht met Faust is omgekomen, nadat ook haar moeder, niet zonder schuld der gelieven, gestorven is en bij den lijkdienst in de domkerk het dreunend orgel den donkeren choorzang begeleidt, den zang van het goddelijk oordeel--dan is niets meer te wachten van levenslust of liefdevreugd en aan Mefistofeles zal zeker de macht over Faust ontgaan: in déze wildernis des gemoeds weet geen Mefisto den weg. Maar nu de Walpurgisnacht op den Blocksberg: terwijl Faust zijn tijdelijke laagten doorwaadt in vergetelheid van Gretchens liefde en haar ongeluk, wordt hij plotseling door de gedachte aan haar opgeschrikt. Weelde en wanhoop doorkruisen zijn gemoed en terwijl hij van de bepeinzing niet scheiden kan doorflikkert de gedachte aan dood en straf zijn overdenking. "Een in lange niet gevoelde afschuw, de gansche ellende der menschheid grijpt mij aan. Hier toeft zij achter vochtige muren", roept hij uit, staande voor de gevangenis, waarin zij om den in waanzin gepleegden moord op haar kind geworpen is; "haar misdaad was het verkeeren in zoeten waan. Gij aarzelt tot haar te gaan? Gij vreest haar weder te zien! Voort! uw talmen brengt haar dood naderbij!" Zoo verscheurt Faust het net dat Mefisto over hem heenwerpt. Het woord uit den proloog in den hemel wordt bewaarheid: de goede mensch blijft in het duister gedrang zich van den rechten weg bewust. Bij alle omdwaling in de wildernis blijft Faust de ware richting des levens beseffen en zijn verheven menschelijkheid gaat niet ten onder. ChapaterIV( DE WEG VAN FAUST)   De nacht van uitrusten voor den nieuwen morgen Zoo Goethe aan zijn Faust-drama den ondertitel "een tragedie" heeft toegevoegd, is deze benaming toch niet in eigenlijken zin aangewend. De onmogelijkheid om dit gedicht bij een der bestaande dichtsoorten in te deelen, verontschuldigt de halftoepasselijke aanwijzing. In een tragedie traden van oudsher figuren op van grootscher bouw dan die van het dagelijksch leven; de beweegkrachten en ondervindingen waren eer heroisch dan gewoon en het levenslot dier "helden" was het lot der enkelen die naar het uiterste streefden. In zoover kan Faust een tragische figuur heeten. Maar in de tragedie is de held tot den ondergang geroepen: zijn grootsche aanleg, grootsch in deugd of ondeugd, bestemt hem tot een lijden, dat zich niet meer te zijnen gunste wenden laat. Van den beginne af hangt over zijn leven het noodlot. In dit opzicht waarin juist het tragische der tragedie bestaat, kon het Faust-drama niet bij deze dichtsoort worden gerekend; wat niet voor den tragischen lijder, maar wel voor Faust bestaat is: de weg der ontkoming aan de wildernis. Evenmin als om de helsche ondervindingen van Dante de Divina Commedia een tragedie is, evenmin is Faust zulks om het eerste deel des gedichts; en het tweede deel, dat "den weg van Faust" bezingt, is niet maar een toevoegsel, waarin de oorspronkelijke opzet van het poeem verloochend wordt, maar een van den aanvang af bedoelde voortzetting en de uitwerking der grondgedachte waarmee het gedicht opent: een goed mensch blijft in het duister gedrang zich van den rechten weg bewust. De kontinuïteit der beide gedeelten is onmiskenbaar. Toch is het verschil tusschen den tweeden Faust en den eerste op vele manieren groot: een andere toon wordt vernomen, een andere omgeving geschapen, andere figuren treden op. Een veel meer bedachte kompositie, een verstandelijker konstruktie kenmerkt het tweede gedeelte tegenover het eerste. Terwijl de eerste Faust den indruk maakt van een gedicht uit des levens bloeitijd, schijnt de tweede een gedicht van den ouderdom. Is het ook niet begrijpelijk, dat ouder wijsheid den weg vindt, terwijl de jeugd avontuurt in de wildernis ? Faust II heeft kunstmatigheid waar het eerste gedicht vrijheid heeft.   Faust II is een heden na het gisteren van Faust I. Tusschen beide gedeelten van het Faust-poeem ligt een nacht , een nacht van vergetelheid en diepen slaap. Het geheele Eerste Deel kan beschouwd worden als een avondgebeurtenis na een voorafgeganen dag van zware inspanning en overladen werk. De monoloog, waarmede het eerste Faustgedicht aanvangt, geeft aanstonds een blik op dezen voltooiden en vermoeienden werkdag: "nu heb ik ach, filosofie, rechtswetenschap en medicijnen en helaas ook theologie grondig bestudeerd met vurigen ijver." Ziehier de al te zware dagtaak, welke Faust achter zich heeft, wanneer wij met hem kennismaken. Op dit oogenblik gaat zijn geest den avond in, den avond met zijn geheimzinnige aanspraak tot het menschelijk gemoed, een avond reeds aangekondigd in den "proloog" met de schildering van de zon, die haar voorgeschreven dagreis met donderslag voltooit. In dien zielsavond neigt hij tot de wereld der geesten met hun duistere wetenschap en verlangt hij naar den dood, die een hooger licht dan het aardsche daglicht over hem zal uitgieten. De dood wenkt hem verlokkend toe uit kristallen schaal. De magische heksenkeuken, het spiegelbeeld van Helena zijn verschrikkende en verteederende avondfantasieën. De zucht naar weelde en genot herleeft: de zinlijkheid bekoort met haar schaduwzwarte diepten; Faust verlangt het al der wereld te doorleven en zijn ziel daarin te laten vervloeien. Gretchens liefde is zijn avondweelde en avondtroost en in haar nabijheid verdoezelt zich zijn godsdienstig gevoel tot pantheïsme, avondgodsdienst zonder omtrekken, welks leuze is: naam is klank en rook; wees in gevoelens zalig en noem het zooals gij wilt: geluk, hart, liefde, God. De zachte stemming èn vreemde fantasie zijn de terugwerking op een dag van vruchtelooze moraliteit des werks. De vergeefsche inspanning van den harden werker verkeert zich tot deze maatlooze zieletoestanden. Maar het einde des avonds, en waar hij tot nacht wordt is zwaar en van jammer vol. Het is de wilde spooknacht der wroeging en der radeloosheid, die met waanzin dreigt. De hevigste onrust als van een heksendans op den Blocksberg is het laatste loon van dezen langen dagtijd vol ondervinding. Het zestiend'eeuwsche Faust-gedicht laat Faust ter helle varen; de hel is het hopelooze en onherstelbare, en het schijnt wel of na Faust's ondervindingen geen anderen uitweg bestaat. Immers, wat is er te herstellen voor een man, die zoowel in het denken als in het verkeer, in het waarheidsverlangen als in de liefde op ellende uitkwam? Nu staat de strever naar het hoogste voor het Niet, het ledige Duister der sterrenlooze middernacht. Maar na de middernacht breekt de na-nacht aan, en de na-nacht zal Faust's rusttijd zijn. Nu is het spookuur voorbij en hoogere geesten onder leiding van Ariël, den geest der lucht, hebben den vermoeiden lijder opgenomen en op een bloemenrijken grasgrond uitgestrekt; zij zingen hem in slaap en zweven om hem heen, terwijl zij de rust in zijn gemoed herstellen: "Nu is de nacht neergezonken en heilig verbindt ster aan sterre zich; groote lichten, en kleine glinsteren nabij en ter verte, glinsteren weerspiegeld in het meer, glanzen in de heldere hoogten des nachts. Het geluk van diepe rust wordt door de volle pracht der maan bezegeld." Onder deze zegening slaapt Faust een slaap, die tijden duurt; hij doorslaapt het tijdperk der nacht; het is de periode der uitrusting uit welke men niet met wroeging of ellende ontwaken zal. De zwevende geesten verteederen zijn afgepijnd hart, genezen de wonden van het zelfverwijt en reinigen zijn innerlijk bestaan van het doorleefde tumult.   Nu kan de nieuwe Morgen komen en hij zal geen morgen van nieuwe zorgen zijn. Met welk morgenlied ook vangt het tweede deel van het Faust-gedicht aan! Het eerste deel was met den zang der aartsengelen ingeluid. Zij zongen het avondlied van de zon, die haar dagreis voleindigt, en van de aarde in wier wenteling paradijsglans plaats maakt voor diepen nacht--maar de geesten, die het tweede gedicht openen, zingen het lied van de juichende ontwaking des Lichts: "Schouw, zoo roepen zij tot den slapenden Faust, naar den glans, die ginds verschijnt! Slechts lichtelijk zijt gij met slaap omvangen: slaap is als een schaal, werp haar af; verzuim niet u te verkloeken, terwijl de menigte talmend aarzelt: alles vermag de edele mensch, die verstaat en snel handelt." En bij dit woord verkondigt een geweldig gedruis de nadering der zon: "hoort o hoort naar het aanstormen der Horen; voor geestes-ooren blinkend wordt geboren de nieuwe dag." Met dezen aanroep is Faust ontwaakt.   De nieuwe zedelijkheid (zedelijk streven en zelfbevrijding). En hiermede begint zijn nieuwe weg. De inhoud van het tweede Faust-poëem bevat meer dan de vertooning en verbeelding van dezen weg; geheel het denken van Goethe's tijd en vooral de natuurfilosofie voeren er het dichterlijke woord; maar wij laten dit ter zijde en zoeken te bepalen den weg dien Faust ging. In het eerste deel hebben wij Faust, teleurgesteld in zijn oneindige verlangst naar kennis, zich zien storten in het levensgenot: door de oneindigheid, die hij in zich beseft, heeft eerst zijn natuurweten schipbreuk geleden. Daarna in het leven gekomen, leed zijn genieten dezelfde schipbreuk op de onvoldaanheid zijner hoogere natuur. Faust heeft den oneindigen eisch gesteld en daarop is zoowel zijn kennis als zijn levensvreugd gestrand. Niets was bestand tegen dezen drang naar het absolute, die tegen alle beperktheid stoot en voor welks aangezicht alle levens-vrede tot verwoesting keert. De vraag, welke wij thans stellen, is: welke weg blijft voor Faust over na dit twee-ledig bankroet? Er is een mogelijkheid van klein te eindigen, nadat men groot begonnen is. De aanstichter van een nieuwe wereldbeweging kan mislukken in zijn grootschen toeleg en--na eenige jaren teruggevonden worden als vreedzaam burger van een klein dorp bij de grenzen; na het eerste hoofdstuk van den nieuwen bijbel der menschheid geschreven te hebben, is de vlaag der genialiteit gedoofd, en men biedt, na wat verpoozens, litteratuur van derden rang. Indien Mefistofeles den Faust geschreven had, ware er geen ironischer vervolg van het eerste boek geweest dan den held te laten optreden als gevierd middelpunt van een dorpskring, bemind op sociëteit en letterkundigen krans. De overmacht van de negatie had zich dan bewezen in de uitsterving van dien oneindigen drang, die Faust's wezen uitmaakt. Zoo er echter een weg voor Faust is, moet het een weg zijn, waarop hij zijn wezen bewaart en tegen Mefistofeles de geheele diepte van zijn menschelijk karakter volhoudt. De weddenschap blijft gelden: zoodra Faust het mindere aanvaardt als voldoend en zijn oneindigen drang ontkent, is hij verloren; maar dus ook: zoolang hij wezenlijke mensch blijft en zijn eeuwigheidsnatuur door eenig voorloopig resultaat van zijn streven niet wordt vervuld--zoolang is zijn streven zelf zijn levensweg. Het oneindig streven is de weg van Faust. Deze uitspraak gelijkt op rhetoriek, maar zij bevat een diepen inhoud en is vol wijsheid. In haar is de nieuwe zedelijkheid uitgedrukt in tegenstelling met de oude.   Met oude zedelijkheid bedoel ik de levensopvatting der Zeventiende Eeuw; met nieuwe zedelijkheid het begrip van persoonlijkheid en leven, dat in de Negentiende Eeuw is gangbaar geworden. Faust is geen zeventiend' eeuwsche, maar een moderne mensch. De oude zedelijkheid is Israëlitisch gestempeld, en door ontkoming aan het Israëlitisme is Faust een mensch van den nieuwen tijd. De tegenstelling, die hier geldt is een andere dan de vaak genoemde tusschen de twee geestelijke standpunten: Israël en Hellas. De Israëliet is vooral zedelijke mensch, doch in dezen bizonderen zin van te staan onder de zedewet, waarbij het schuldgevoel des menschen tegenover de heiligheid Gods de grondtoon der geheele gezindheid bepaalt. Deze mensch weet niet dat in hem een goddelijk licht brandt: hij kent zich als zondaar en ontleent uit een geschreven wetgeving den maatstaf der zelfbeoordeeling. De Helleen daarentegen is aesthetische mensch, die geen onvoorwaardelijkheid kent op zedelijk gebied, geen zedelijk gebod, maar een zedelijke intuïtie; in schoonen arbeid geniet hij het geluk zijns levens. Deze tegenstelling nu kan niet rechtstreeks op die tusschen oude en nieuwe zedelijkheid worden overgedragen, al is er overeenkomst: de oude (zeventiend' eeuwsche) zedelijkheid is Israëlitisch gestempeld; de nieuwe is aan Hellas verwant doordat zij het recht der vrije persoonlijkheid erkent. In den oud-Germaanschen vrijheidszin is de nieuwe zedelijkheid voorgeschaduwd. Reeds Parzival, de Germaansche held, wordt uit zijn verwildering gered, doordat "in hem een vaste zin was en onversaagde mannenmoed, die niet gebroken werd door harden druk." Zijn zedelijkheid was de vastberadenheid van een streven, dat de vertwijfeling overwon. Faust is een tweede Parzival, de vernieuwer dezer Germaansche zelfbevrijding. Aan het einde van zijn levensloop wordt over hem gesproken: "wie altijd strevend werkzaam is, dien kunnen wij verlossen" (wer immer strebend sich bemüht, den können wir erlösen). Het onderscheid van oude moraliteit en nieuwe bestaat hierin, dat de oude moraal het zwaartepunt der deugd buiten den mensch legt, de nieuwe moraliteit stelt het in ons; d. i. in de menschelijke persoonlijkheid, genomen in den vollen en diepen zin van dit begrip. De Zeventiende Eeuw is, binnen de nieuwe Geschiedenis gelijk wij zeiden, de vertegenwoordigster der oude zedelijkheid, hoewel juist toen een der groote scheppers der nieuwe leer geleefd heeft: Spinoza. De oude moraal stelt de zedelijkheid in deugden, plichten, werken, die als meer of min afgepaste en aangewezen geestelijke grootheden door een zedelijke wetgeving zijn afgekondigd en gekodificeerd. Dat alle deugden, plichten en werken de openbaring zijn van éen innerlijk levensbeginsel, en dat er dus geen zedelijkheid is dan als een verwerkelijking van dit; dat zedelijkheid de verwerkelijking is van het eeuwige zelf des menschen, vermoedt zij niet. De oude zedelijkheid is gedrag volgens de zedewet, en deze zedewet is een goddelijke instelling , geen opwelling uit het menschenhart zelf. De Zeventiende Eeuw heeft het mechanisch denken tot overwinning gevoerd; zij stelde de mechanika vast als methode der natuurleer, en bestreed de Middeleeuwsche opvatting, volgens welke de natuur met verborgen eigenschappen en geestelijke krachten werkte. Het mechanische denken rekent met uitwendige oorzaken alleen en behandelt alle gebeurtenissen in de natuur als toepassingen van algemeene wetten, die wiskunstig moeten berekend worden. De astronomie is het zuiverste voorbeeld van mechanische natuurwetenschap. Huyghens, Harvey en zoovele natuurkundige ontdekkers der 17de en 18de eeuw hebben door de mechanische methode de natuurwetenschap tot haar hoogte gebracht. De wiskunde is het hart der mechanika en Cartesius had de wiskundige methode van denken ook op de geestelijke wetenschappen van toepassing verklaard. Zoo is dan ook de opvatting dat zedelijkheid een gedrag is volgens de ingestelde zedewet, de vrucht van een mechanisch denken: de zedewet werd evenals de natuurwet geacht door den schepper der wereld te zijn ingesteld. Aan deze voor de levensleer noodlottige opvatting beantwoordde het Calvinisme, deze algemeen geldige geestelijke richting des tijds. Het Calvinisme is een herleving van den Israëlitischen geest in het Christendom, gekeerd tegen de idee der vrije individualiteit volgens Grieksch en tegen die der zelfberaden persoonlijkheid volgens Germaansch begrip. Het Calvinisme immers hield de zedelijkheid voor een gehoorzaming aan een zedewet, van bovenaf aan de menschen gedekreteerd op het ontoegankelijkste rotsgebergte, de Sinai, alsof de zedewet van ergens anders stamde dan van onze menschelijkheid zelf! De Zeventiende Eeuw is theologisch: het aanvangspunt van denken is er de tegenstelling tusschen God en mensch. Spinoza, die haar niet erkende, werd voor atheïst gescholden. In deze tegenstelling komt de mensch ontledigd tegenover God te staan, waarbij een negatief begrip, het zonde-begrip, het uitgangspunt der levensbeschouwing wordt. Het dwars-verkeerde dezer beschouwing is niet meer goed te maken. Zij berooft den mensch van de waarheid zijns wezens. De heilsleer der Zeventiende Eeuw is hetero-soterisch; d. i. de krachten die het leven tot heil brengen werken van buiten af. Calvinisme, Piëtisme, Lutheranisme zijn in dit opzicht gelijk. Deze hoofdstroomingen der Zeventiend' Eeuwsche levensleer mogen onderling verschillen als meer intellektualistisch of meer empiristisch gekleurd--in de levensleer is aller opvatting op het door ons genoemde punt gelijk. Inzonderheid het Piëtisme, dat aan Lutheranisme en aan Calvinisme de gemoedswarmte gaf en een religieuze ervaringsleer kan heeten, heeft in zijn heilige boek Bunyans Pilgrims Progress een uiting geleverd, die de zedelijk-religieuze opvatting des tijds op het duidelijkst uitsprak. Het Engelsche Piëtisme dat in dit boek tot uiting komt, heet gewoonlijk Methodisme. Bunyans "Christenreize naar de Eeuwigheid" is het Zeventiend' Eeuwsche heilsboek; het heeft zijn verdienste in groote menschenkennis en is het tegendeel van Faust . Geen boek ter wereld is zoozeer in tegenspraak met de moderne levensopvatting. De mensch is er ongeniaal, uit zichzelf voelt hij alleen onmacht en ellende. Uit een boek, dat hem van elders in de handen komt, leest hij den beteren levensweg; andere wezens leiden hem; alles komt van buiten behalve de zonde; in zichzelf is hij negatief. Hij is geen persoonlijkheid, hij is alleen maar behoefte. Het Piëtisme is de leer eener reeks van gevoelservaringen, die doorloopen moeten worden, en die niet uiting zijn van eigen geestelijk streven, maar waar de mensch, de lijdelijke, wordt doorheen-geleid. Het geestelijk leven als stroomend uit den eigen innerlijken bronwel en zijn rijkdommen uit zichzelf voortbrengend--dit nieuwer levensbegrip is er onbekend. Dat zedelijkheid niet is een gehoorzaamheid aan een wil die van buiten af beveelt, maar des menschen eigen aspiratie, wordt door deze oude leer niet bevroed. Maar ziehier juist de kern der nieuwe levensgedachte. Spinoza reeds had de stelling uitgesproken, dat des menschen "streven om in eigen zijn te volharden" het eenige fondament der deugd is. In deze uitspraak klinken de bazuinen der nieuwe levensleer. De mensch, aan banden eener ingestelde zedewet vastgelegd, zal opnieuw ontwaren, dat zijn eigen wezen de zedewet inhoudt. Dat beteekent: de geestelijke natuur van den mensch zelf is de grond aller deugd, en er is geen andere deugd dan deze: onze geestelijke natuur verwerkelijken; zich- zelf -zijn. Voorheen gold de zedewet door bedreiging en belofte, als door dwangmiddelen; des menschen vrijheid beteekende de vrijwilligheid, waarmeê hij dezen band verdroeg of niet verdroeg: nu geldt de gedachte andersom: er is geen ander beginsel van zedelijk leven, dan de idealiteit onzes wezens: de zedewet niet heerschappij voerend over den mensch, maar de mensch als voortbrenger van de zedewet. Deze moraal is die der vrije persoonlijkheid, die de zedewet niet boven zich, maar in zich heeft. De levensopvatting, hier geldig is niet de mechanische, maar de organische . Terwijl de steenen op elkaar gezet worden en uitwendig door de kalk saamgebonden tot een muur, volgens het plan van den metselaar, die ze behandelt--groeit het zaad tot een plant niet door uitwendige toevoeging, maar krachtens een innerlijk beginsel en volgens een wet, die in het leven en den groei des zaads is vervat. Het geestelijk leven als de oprichting van dezen muur te begrijpen is de mechanische opvatting der oude moraliteit: maar dat het zedelijke aan een innerlijke levenswet, veeleer op den groei der plant gelijkt, organisch, is de Negentiend' Eeuwsche gedachte. Het Nieuwe Testament heeft menige uitspraak in deze richting; de middel-eeuwsche mystieken en Luther hebben dergelijke tonen van hun instrument doen klinken; in geen tijdperk der Christelijke kultuur-geschiedenis heeft de stem der zedelijke vrijheid geheel gezwegen: maar de andere opvatting heeft deze nieuwere telkens overstemd en de "oude" zedelijkheid heeft zich als de kettermeester der nieuwe gedragen. Goethe's Faust vertoont deze levensleer op de meest klare wijze in het dichterlijke beeld. De Faust is een kultuurboek, waarin niet slechts de geest van Goethe, maar vooral de geest der aangevangen Negentiende Eeuw zich spiegelt. De dichter van Faust heeft den overgang tot den nieuwen tijd in zich meegeleefd en de groote revolutie gadegeslagen. Nu is zijn gedicht breed geworden, encyclopaedisch van opzet, daar het den nieuwen mensch vertoont in zijn zedelijk streven en dit streven naar alle zijden ontwikkelt: de nieuwe zedelijkheid heeft haar verhouding tot staat en maatschappij, kunst, natuur en godsdienst.   Het besluit tot daden. "In den beginne was de Daad", zoo heeft reeds in zijn studeercel Faust gefilosofeerd. Er staat geschreven: "in den beginne was het Woord", maar het woord kon hij zoo hoogelijk niet vereeren; evenmin de rede, ook niet de kracht. Het zedelijk streven, waarin hij Mefisto zal te boven komen, zal voor Faust bestaan in het uitoefenen van de levende daad. In het eerste Faust-gedicht overheerscht de negatie, Mefistofeles. Faust wordt er door Mefisto geleid en geeft zich aan zijn inspraken over; alleenlijk bewaart hij zichzelf tegen dien leidsman, zoodat hij nooit ten onder gaat. Zijn leven is nog bewogen door den levensnood; de passie overheerscht, de levensgang is verwilderd. Dit is de noodwendige aanvang van elk zedelijk leven: het leven begint in laagtestand en gaat door het heilsgemis naar het heilsbezit, evenals in Carlyle's Sartor Resartus Professor Teufelsdrökh door het Everlasting No heen moet om het Everlasting Yea te bereiken. Maar hiermee is het leven niet verloren: zijn de negatieve wateren doorkliefd, dan komt het schip in positieven stroom. Mefisto heeft zich aan Faust onmachtig gemaakt, doordat Faust in de volgzaamheid aan zijn leidsman, zichzelf tegen hem heeft vastgehouden, de weddenschap op geene wijze verliezende. Eindelijk is het positief beginsel in Fausts natuur voldoende tot eigen kracht van daden gerijpt, zoodat Mefisto niet meer den weg behoeft aan te wijzen, doch alleen als Faust's dienaar kan blijven geduld. In het tweede poëem is Faust zijn eigen meester en betreedt door eigen streven den weg van het levensheil. Faust's moraliteit is dus: zichzelf te zijn, en het aktueel beginsel van zijn streven is het besluit tot de levende daad . De daad is uiting der inwendige aktiviteit; in haar betoont de mensch zichzelf; zij is niet wat de oude moraliteit bedoelt: een gedraging of werk volgens de zedewet; geen "werk der dankbaarheid" of wat ook, waarbij een handeling uitgevoerd wordt, die reeds tevoren was voorgeschreven in een kodex van deugdwerken; neen maar de daad als getuigenis . De daden waartoe Faust besluit, zijn pure uitingen van inwendigen drang; zij zijn niet te voren bij eenige zedelijke wetgeving bepaald; zij zijn de betooningen van den zedelijken mensch die zijn moreele persoonlijkheid doet gelden: "dit aardegebied verschaft nog ruimte tot groote daden; tot het doen van koene en verbazingwekkende werken voel ik de kracht." Misschien acht menigeen zulke ideëele moraliteit geen degelijke zedelijkheid te zijn. Het schijnt of het Faust-poëem het lied is van den aesthetischen mensch Goethe, die zichzelf bezingt. Men wil een meer geëikte deugd. Het besluit tot daden, niet eens tot bepaalde en als zedelijk goed voorgeschrevene, maar het besluit tot zelf-uiting in de daad schijnt den menschen, die aan konventioneeler deugd gewend zijn, nevelig en onbestemd. Zij begrijpen niet dat er geen vruchten zijn dan uit de groeikracht van den boom en dat er evenmin deugden, plichten, werken, zedelijke handelingen zijn dan als levensopwelling van een menschenhart zelf. Er is misschien voor een dogmatisch verstand geen houvast aan een zedelijkheid, die van binnen stamt, gelijk er een zeer gemakkelijk houvast is aan zedelijkheid, die een bestaande wetgeving opvolgt. De Muzelman heeft aan zijn trias van aalmoes doen, bidden, vasten, een algemeen begrijpelijker deugdsysteem, dan de Germaansche strever aan zijn besluit tot de loutere daad. Dit verhindert niet dat de zedelijkheid in laatstgenoemden vorm de ware is. Aan Faust's besluit tot daad (het positief moreel princiep) gaat vooraf het berouw . Het berouw is de reaktie na het verblijf in de wildernis. Als de negatie is doorgemaakt, blijft een nijpend gevoel van leegheid over; de mensch beseft de laagte, waarin hij heeft geleefd en klaagt zichzelf aan om zijn verblindheid. Deze negatieve moraliteit volgt op het negatieve levensgedrag en is de weerslag op Mefistofeles' leiding, de terugschrik na de zelfherkenning. Het Piëtisme zou dit zedelijk moment, het berouw van Faust, hebben doen aanzwellen tot hoofdbelang; in litteratuur kon het in 't breede geëxploiteerd worden als tijdperk van zelfverwijt en zelfontreddering; de Zeventiend' Eeuwsche moraal althans had met voorliefde op deze negatieve zijde van het zedelijk leven de schrilste lichten geworpen--Goethe is te zeer menschkundig om het berouw te ontkennen in zijn heilzame werking, te schoon van geest, dan dat hij er zwaarder gewicht aan gaf dan als overgang uit lager tot hooger levensstand. Het berouw van Faust wordt ondervonden in de diepte van het naar binnen gekeerde bewustzijn, aanvaard als krisis des inwendigen levens. Zoo volstaat Goethe ook met een fijnvoelige vingerwijzing, die den begrijpers genoeg is: in den aanvang van het tweede Deel spreekt Ariël tot de geesten: "brengt den grimmigen strijd zijns harten tot rust, verwijdert de scherpe pijlen van zijn zelfverwijt; en reinigt zijn innerlijk van doorleefden schrik." Hier is het geestelijk herstel van Faust geteekend. En als hiermee de negatieve faze zijns levens (de wildernis) voorbij is, zie! daar ontwaakt "een krachtig besluit om volhardend naar den hoogsten levensstaat te streven."   De klassieke beschaving als leerschool.--geestelijke vorming.--de idee der schoonheid. Faust heeft dan besloten tot de zedelijke daad, d. i. tot de betooning zijns innerlijken wezens. En waarin deze ook besta--een streven rechtstreeks naar het absolute, gelijk hem eenmaal vervulde, is niet meer te wachten: hij getuigt dat het geestenlicht hem heeft verblind, en roept nu uit: "den waterval, die het rotsrif doorbruist, beschouw ik met toenemende vreugd; in duizend en meer dan duizend stroomen giet hij zich uit al nederstortende, zijn schuim in de lucht spattend. Die spiegelt het menschelijke streven af; overpeins hem en begrijp dat wij het leven hebben in den kleurigen weerglans der zon." De waterval werpt zich in de aardsche wereld, en weerkaatst in zijn stralen het zonlicht, zonder het licht te gemoet te streven: zoo zal Faust doen; hij zal zijn drang naar het absolute verwerkelijken in de lichtende daden van zijn hart. Ziehier zijn weg. Faust zoekt op dien weg te komen; maar hoe? Wij vinden hem aan het keizerlijk hof genoodigd wegens den roem zijner geleerdheid. Het keizerlijk aanzoek heeft hij opgevolgd in de hoop aldaar gelegenheid te vinden tot heilzame daden. Maar het is niet in deze omgeving dat hij slagen zal. De toestand van het Keizerrijk is verre van fraai; uiterlijk vol glans is het rijk innerlijk krachteloos en vervallen; de keizer zelf leeft voor het genot in de grootste verkwisting en de schatkist is tot den bodem geleegd. Faust, die nog naar zijn weg zoekt, moet in deze omgeving tot inzicht komen, dat de zedelijke daad des menschen vrij is tegenover alle bestaande ordening. Voor den Jood uit Jezus' tijd is het godsdienstig volks-instituut de sfeer, die het zedelijke bepaalt; voor den oud-Indiër de kaste; voor den Griek het staatsverband, zoodat hij zedelijk mensch is in dit opzicht, dat hij zijn arbeid doet voor het staatsgeheel. De Middel-Eeuwer, over 't algemeen genomen, acht zich zedelijk handelend volgens voorschrift van en in dienst aan de kerk. Zijn barmhartigheid, eedstrouw en gerechtigheid zijn een verplichting, die de kerk hem oplegt. Voor Faust echter zal al zulke instelling wegvallen. Geen bestaande ordening zal als verplichtende macht zich aan hem voordoen: in de sfeer van het keizerrijk valt voor hem niets van zedelijke beteekenis uit te richten. Tegelijk blijkt hem, dat deze keizerlijke staatsordening (en daarmee alle "instituut") de echte nooden der gemeenschap niet lenigt, en een van boven opgelegde figuur is, die met het ware leven der volkeren in geen verband staat. Wie zedelijk werken wil, doe het niet ten dienste aan eenige instelling of organisatie, maar doe het voor de menschelijke schare, dat is voor het gemoed der menigte, want dit is voor zedelijke weldaden ontvankelijk.   Maar om tot machtige daden bekwaam te zijn moet Faust een scholing doorloopen. Het "strevend in werking zijn" (strebend sich bemühen) moet voortkomen uit een welgeordenden en evenredigen geest, want anders is het werk chaotisch, vormeloos. Faust moet nu niet in een wildernis rondwaden, maar zich een weg banen in het leven, en de dichter van Faust acht, dat hiertoe geen betere scholing is dan het verkeer met de klassieke Grieksche kultuur en hare schoonheid. Door deze zal Faust de mateloosheid van zijn strevenden drang te boven komen en dien louteren. Immers, zooals het moderne, Germaansche, romantische streven zich uitleeft , zoo wil het Grieksche zich inhouden . Werther is de romantische mensch, subjektief en onbegrensd in zijn aandoeningen; maar hij zou in de Grieksche zelfbepaling tot vruchtbaarheid zijn gekomen, terwijl hij zonder deze kwam tot ondergang. Faust zal niet als Werther lijden, maar hijzelf weet welke leerschool hij behoeft. Het verkeer van Faust aan het keizerlijk hof wordt bekroond met een maskerade, waarin de krachten en faktoren van het menschelijk leven en der maatschappij in symbolische gestalten worden vertoond: een schouwspel, waarin Faust een tegengestelde houding aanneemt, dan die hij in het leven wil voeren: hij is er werklooze toeschouwer. De keizer ziet de fraaiheid van de vertooning, maar de aldus gesymboleerde werkelijkheid heeft veel onschoons en op 't einde gaat de geheele maskerade in vlammen op. De keizer, wiens lust naar schoone vertooning aldus ontstoken is, wil zich nog meer vermaken en wenscht het meest uitgezochte voorbeeld van menschenschoon te zien vertoond: Paris en Helena uit het doodenrijk te voorschijn geroepen, moeten voor zijn oogen verschijnen! Deze vertooning is voor hem niet meer dan een lichtzinnig amusement. Maar in Faust heeft de gedachte aan de klassieke schoonheid, in Helena vertegenwoordigd, een horizont van inzicht geopend. Hijzelf zal naar de diepte der wereld afdalen en door de macht zijns geestes de Helena-gestalte te voorschijn roepen. Waarheen zal hij afdalen? Men daalt slechts in zichzelven af en deze afdaling heet de bezinning , maar de bezinning brengt den bezinner tot de algemeene gronden waar het leven, waar elk geestesleven, ontspringt. In de dichterlijke voorstelling heeten deze gronden: de Moeders en van hen wordt met plechtig geluid verzekerd: "godinnen tronen verheven in hun eenzaamheid; rondom hen is alle Ruimte opgeheven, geen Tijd is daar; over hen kan niet gesproken worden: de Moeders zijn zij. Welke weg leidt tot hen? geen weg! De weg tot hen gaat in het onbetreden en niet te betreden gebied; door geen navraag vindbaar: zijt gij bereid? geen sloten en geen grendels behoeven weggeschoven; door eenzaamheden wordt gij heen gedreven: hebt gij begrip van het verlatene en van de eenzaamheid?" Het is Mefistofeles, die deze aanwijzing geeft, en zij is gegeven uit zijn zienswijs: de levensdiepte geldt voor hem niet; maar met kloeke verzekerdheid antwoordt Faust: "in uw Niets hoop ik het Al te vinden." Wanneer het aan Faust gelukt om uit de diepe bezinning op het leven de idee der schoonheid op te roepen, staat hij aan den aanvang zijner geestelijke scholing. Wat hij gedaan heeft is bij zichzelf de noodzaak en onmisbaarheid der leerschool vaststellen, die hij doorloopen moet. Uit de diepe gronden zijns levens brengt hij de idee der schoonheid te voorschijn, maar de enthousiaste omhelzing daarvan werpt alsnog de idee zelve in verbrijzeling. Faust verliest Helena terwijl hij haar aangrijpt. Niet als bloote gedachte lichtend voor hem uit, doch als duurzame levenservaring moet de schoonheid aan zijn bestaan deelnemen: daartoe neme Faust de klassieke beschaving in zich op: het huwelijk met Helena zal hem tot de zedelijke daad bekwamen. Maar de klassieke beschaving moet recht begrepen worden. Ook zij heeft haar excessen en verwarringen. Geen kultuur is feitelijk volmaakt, en het is niet meer dan de geest en de idee der klassieke beschaving, welke Faust zich eigen make. Hij moet zich beschermen tegen de spookgestalten, die ook hier zich voordoen; in de "Klassieke Walpurgisnacht" moet hij tot het inzicht komen, dat niet overal waar Griekenland is Helena woont. Niet de spookachtige fantasie, die griffioenen, sfinxen, sirenen, centauren, pygmaeën en wat half-dierlijks er meer zij, voortbracht--maar de klare en zuivere geest, die de gestalte van Helena opriep, is de ware geest der Grieksche beschaving. Om Faust rond te leiden in de spokenwereld, daartoe is Homunculus, een kunstmatig menschje, in chemische retorten bewerkt, voldoende: voor zijn huwelijk met Helena drage hij zelf zorg.   Het huwelijk van Faust en Helena. Harmonie en maat. De schoonheidszin is van het geestesleven een integreerend deel. Geen geestesleven is gaaf zonder deze. Aan de "oude zedelijkheid" heeft de schoonheidszin ontbroken; de Calvinist heeft nooit beseft dat er verband is tusschen het goede en het schoone. De theologische, mechanische aanleg van het Zeventiend' Eeuwsche denken, sluit den schoonheidszin eer buiten dan in zich. Het Piëtisme is vaak vijandig gestemd tegenover hem, daar het de wereld verwerpt; zelfs Spinoza heeft zich zeventiende-eeuwer betoond door van hem niet te gewagen. Onze groote schilderkunst heeft geen verband gehouden met het zedelijk bewustzijn des volks, en het zedelijk bewustzijn heeft zich niet geopend voor de kunst noch voor de aesthetische ontroering. Eerst het geslacht, waartoe Goethe behoorde, begreep het verband tusschen schoonheid en levensbestemming. Faust treedt in het huwelijk met Helena, en dit huwelijk is een noodzaak tot zijn volmaking. Het is hier niet te doen om een aesthetische beschaving in de plaats der ethische, een oppervlakkig schoonheidsbehagen, dat met de diepe gronden des levens zich niet afgeeft. Zulk aestheticisme, dat de kunst tot zijn godsdienst heeft, is in de Negentiende Eeuw opgekomen; maar het huwelijk van Faust en Helena heeft diepere waarde: het is de scholing in de klassieke kultuur, de vorming van den zedelijken mensch door harmonie, klaarheid en innerlijke orde. Faust heeft aanraking met den geest der Grieksche beschaving. Het huwelijk met Helena is voor den zedelijken mensch noodig, omdat hij, naar de nieuwe opvatting, de wet zijns eigenen wezens te vervullen heeft. Moet de mensch zichzelf verwerkelijken, dan loopt hij daarbij het gevaar eener redelooze emancipatie en afzondering uit het geheel. Zoo hij de nieuwe moraal als een wil tot macht opvat en meent, dat aan zijn eigen wil alles geoorloofd is, ware het beter dat hij nog onder het toezicht der oude wetgeving stond. Met dergelijke Nietzschiaansche op de spits drijving zijner individualiteit is de wonderbare harmonie des bestaans verbroken. Wie slechts eigen macht erkent is tyran en tyranniseert de wereldorde, in welke wij omvat zijn en waarin ons leven redelijkheid bezit. Juist daar de wereld-orde in ons bewustzijn inwoont zijn wij onszelf ten wet. Zoo behoort de mensch der nieuwe moraliteit van de idee der orde en harmonie doordrongen te zijn. Geen wild-romantieke vrij-machtigheid besture zijn daden. De student, die in Faust's studeercel kwam verkondigen, dat hij persoonlijk het superieure subjekt der wereld was, en dat het op- en ondergaan der zon van zijn denken afhing, vertoont de nieuwe moraliteit als karikatuur. Maar Faust zal innerlijk rijpen en zich van de idee van orde en wet doordringen, opdat zijn streven niet romantisch zij. Het altijd-durende streven gaat verloren, zoo daaraan de rust der zelfbeheersching ontbreekt; de fantasie vindt willekeurige slingerwegen maar niet den weg tot het doel. Zoo moet het streven zich scholen door de schoonheid, die niet anders is dan de evenredigheid en algemeene orde der wereld. Griekenland heeft de wereld als "kosmos" opgevat. De schoonheidszin is uit Griekenland geboren. Overal liggen zijne voorteekenen verspreid: Indië, Egypte, Assyrië, Babel, Israël, Phoenicië, Germanië zijn vol voorteekenen die de geboorte van den schoonheidszin aanzeggen; maar eerst Hellas heeft de schoonheid geweten en het vormelooze verworpen voor de erkenning van harmonie en maat. Eerst Hellas heeft dit inzicht tot beginsel eener geheele kultuur gemaakt. Dit is dus de vrucht van Faust's scholing door de klassieke kultuur, dat hij leert innerlijk maatvol zijn, en dat zijn strevende werkzaamheid daardoor planmatig en doelmatig wordt.   Maar het huwelijk met Helena is leerschool en niet meer. Evenmin als een leerschool is het tot bestendigheid beschikt. Zal Faust tot uitvoering der zedelijke daad komen, dan moet dit huwelijk achter hem liggen, al is ook de leering, daarin ondergaan, van blijvende beteekenis. Zoo zien wij Helena aan Faust's armen ontzinken. Wat zij hem verwekt heeft is de poëzie . Immers deze is niet anders dan maatvolle gedachte en Goethe noemt haar Euforion. Voor hem was de poëzie niet een kunstvol spel, maar een innerlijk vermogen, om het leven en de werkelijkheid als een kunstwerk te zien en te beleven; zij was hem een scheppende macht, die zich uitte in denken en doen. Zal Faust tot zedelijken werker worden, dan moet hij door de poëzie bezield zijn tot dienst aan de wereldorde en door haar tot maatvolle wijsheid zijn bekwaamd. Deze vrucht zal blijken, wanneer de huwelijkstijd met Helena voorbij is; tijdens het huwelijk zal zij hem verschijnen als lichtende beeld. De lichtende gestalte Euforion, in het huwelijk van Faust en Helena verwekt, blinkt voor beider verwonderde oogen, maar gaat als een meteoor voorbij, waarna ook Helena's oogenblik van verscheiden is gekomen. Wanneer zij aan Faust ontzinkt, blijven als aandenken, kleed, mantel en lier achter. Dit beteekent dat de nieuwe zedelijkheid de sporen bewaart van hare scholing in de klassieke kultuur, maar dat zij toch een andere is, zelfstandig, en uit haar leerschool is verrezen als een vrije macht, stichtster harer eigen beschaving.   Stichting eener vrije wereld. Waarde en ontoereikendheid der zedelijke daad. Het oneindig streven, Germaansch van oorsprong maar geadeld in de leerschool der klassieke beschaving; de zedelijke zelfbetooning, door het besef van maatvolle orde verhelderd--ziehier den weg van Faust : op deze wijze zal hij zijn Mefistofeles te boven komen. Maar waarin bestaat het dat Faust Mefisto te boven komt? Indien hij in het zedelijk streven, dat toch ook naar bepaalde doeleinden uitgaat bevredigd wordt, is dan de oneindige drang, deze richting naar het Absolute, niet tòch verloochend? en wie heeft dan overwonnen: Faust, die beweerde met niets te zullen bevredigd zijn, of Mefisto die daar al te gemakkelijken raad op wist? Ziehier de vraag, die de ontknooping van het Faust-drama beheerscht. De zedelijke daad, die Faust uitvoert is grootsch, bovenal zoo zij in haar symbolische beteekenis doorzien wordt. "Mijn oog was gericht, zoo spreekt Faust, naar de hooge zee; zij zwol op om in zichzelve omhoog te streven--dan zonk zij in en schudde haar golven om daarmede de breedte der vlakke oevers te bestormen. En dat verdroot mij, gelijk de overmoed door zijn hartstochtelijk opgezweepten zin den vrijen geest, die slechts het recht waardeert, ergert. "Ik achtte het toeval, scherpte mijn oog: de golf stond op en rolde dan terug, trok weg van het trotsch bereikte doel; het oogenblik komt en hij herhaalt zijn spel. Dan sluipt hij weer aan op duizend plaatsen, de onvruchtbare, om overal onvruchtbaarheid uit te strooien. Het is een zwellen en toenemen en uitstorten over het woeste gebied, en dan weder terugtrekken en er is niets volvoerd. Mij beangstigt dit schouwspel tot vertwijfeling; doellooze kracht van bandelooze elementen! Hier waagt mijn geest het boven zijn macht te streven: hier wil ik strijden en hier wil ik overwinnen! En dit is mogelijk: zoo vloedend als zij is, golft de zee langs elken heuvel heen; al beweegt zij zich nog zoo overmoedig: een geringe opgeworpen hoogte weerstaat haar trots en een geringe diepte trekt haar machtig tot zich neer. Toen heb ik snel in mijn geest het plan gevormd: verwerf het kostelijk genot om de heerschzuchtige zee van den oever af te sluiten, het gebied dier vloeiende massa in te krimpen, en haar diep binnenwaarts terug te dringen in haarzelf. Van schrede tot schrede heb ik mij het plan voor den geest geroepen: dit te volvoeren is mijn wensch, waag het de uitvoering te bevorderen." Faust wil de zee aan banden leggen en het onvruchtbaar zeegebied herscheppen tot vruchtbaar land; daar wil hij een door menschen veroverde woonplaats stichten, een vrijen grond voor een vrij volk, dat zich in vrije werkzaamheid oefent. Het veld zal vruchtbaar zijn, een land als een paradijs; laat aan zijn buitenkant de vloed den dijk bestormen: de samenwerking eener schare is haastig bereid om de kleinste scheur te versperren. De symboliek dezer Faustische daad is duidelijk: de zee is de negatie der vruchtbare aarde; terwijl deze uit een onbegrensden levensdrang het leven voortbrengt, plant, dier en mensch ontspruiten doet, en uit haar schoot de delfstoffen opwerpt--doet de zee niets dan verzwelgen; in haar diepte schuilen monsters en de kolk van gevaar blijft zij voor ieder, die zich op haar bedriegelijke vlakten waagt. De zee is het verstorend element; zij is de Mefistofeles in de aardsche schepping; van den oer-chaos overgebleven. Nu zal Faust de zee terugdrijven. Zinrijke daad! Ziehier het heilswerk, in eigen geestelijke vrijheid uitgedacht en volvoerd, geheel anders dan de "goede werken" voorgeschreven door een gekodificeerde moraal. Deze daad beteekent Faust's overwinning over Mefistofeles. Een bekoorlijk tafereel schildert het welslagen dezer daad van Faust: een vroeger schipbreukeling, eenmaal aan deze kust gespoeld en verpleegd in de hut van Philemon en Baucis zoekt nu, jaren later, zijn weldoeners op, en aanschouwt van hun in 't duin gelegen woonplaats af, geen zee maar een vruchtbaar land: hetgeen u grimmig mishandeld heeft, de zee met haar schuimend wilde golven, ziet gij in een tuin herschapen: een tafereel als een paradijs! Koene knechten van verstandige heeren groeven en dijkten de zee in, verminderden haar rechtsgebied en werden heerscher in hare plaats. Zie toch hoe weide naast weide groent, beemd, tuin, woud en dorp! rechts en links over groote uitgestrektheid is het gebied dichtbevolkt!   Maar is Faust nu voldaan? en heeft in deze daad zijn oneindige drang, d. i. zijn drang naar het Oneindige vervulling gevonden? Indien ja, dan is eenerzijds Mefistofeles overwonnen, omdat niet in de verlokkingen van dezen, maar in Faust's eigen gevonden en geschapen taak zijn drang vervuld is. Mefisto heeft Faust in de wildernis gevoerd.. Nu heeft hij zelf uit de wilde zee een bewoonbaar en vruchtbaar land geschapen! Anderzijds heeft toch Faust een voldoening gevonden beneden het Oneindige. Eenmaal heeft hij het wezen der wereld gezocht met het denkend intellekt; de magie is door hem te hulp geroepen; hij heeft den dood gewild om langs dezen weg in de eeuwige waarheid in te dringen; diep en ontroerend was de klacht over zijn onvermogen; in zijn ongeleschten kendorst dreigde hij te zullen bezwijken, en heeft gezworen dat niets hem ooit zou bevredigen: "zal ik ooit gerustgesteld mij neerleggen op het bed der ledigheid, dan zij het tegelijk met mij ten einde; kunt gij mij zoo beliegen dat ik mijzelf behaag, mijn laatste dag zij aangebroken; zal ik tot het oogenblik spreken: blijf toch want gij zijt schoon genoeg, dan wil ik te gronde gaan." Faust is voldaan.... maar zóo dat hij het niet is. Dat is: hij heeft de daad gedaan die de meest zuivere omzetting is van zijn oneindigen drang in de aardsche omgeving. Maar deze daad is op elk oogenblik nog slechts een betrekkelijke uitdrukking van zijn drang, en om haar volledig te denken, denkt hij haar verlengd in het toekomstige. Bovendien: aan het werk zelf heeft Mefistofeles deel en zoo is het een onvolkomen werk. Wat dit laatste aangaat: in het werk mengt zich onrecht; dus houdt het een bewijs zijner onvolmaaktheid in. De Faust-dichter schildert deze ongerechtigheid in den aanval van Mefisto met drie gevaarlijke gezellen op het huisje van Philemon en Baucis. Faust ergert zich aan het oud-modisch klokgebengel, waarmeê deze oudjes nog steeds den verleden tijd dienen. Hij heeft hun in 't nieuwe gebied een beter woning en welvarender landgoed aangeboden; maar vond slechts weigering. Mefisto volgt Faust's wenk op eigen manier en.... de hut gaat in vlammen op, terwijl de bewoners omkomen. Voor Faust geeft deze handeling stof tot bepeinzing. Ook de werken van zedelijke bezieling, naar bepaalde doeleinden uitgaand, kunnen de eeuwigheidswaarde van den mensch niet vervangen; zij zijn eindige grootheden, heilzame doch begrensde gewrochten en zij houden den mensch binnen zijn eindige levensvoorwaarden besloten. Evenmin als de opstapeling der wetenschappelijke resultaten, bereikt de vermenigvuldiging der zedelijke daden het eeuwige. Waar de Wagners juichen zijn de Fausten onvoldaan. Dat de zedelijke handelingen den mensch niet vergoddelijken bewijst het onrecht dat ongewild ook daarin binnensluipt.   Toch heeft Faust zijn weg gevonden. Maar de weg is niet het doel, doch het middel. Na de scholing door de oude kultuur heeft hij in een nieuwe zedelijkheid zich tot het hoogste voorbereid .   Nog is, gelijk wij zagen, Mefistofeles niet geheel overwonnen. In beginsel is zijn macht over Faust gebroken, hiermeê dat Faust in de zedelijke daad zijn ware zelf verwerkelijkt. Niet meer leider maar dienaar van Faust is hij, maar ook in deze verhouding is hij nog de medgezel. Weldra doet zich het verstorend element zijns persoons aan Faust gelden; want reeds in den proloog in den hemel is deze onontkoombare waarheid over hen uitgesproken: de mensch dwaalt zoolang hij streeft. Voor den strevenden mensch is er geen mogelijkheid om de negatie, de verstoring, het kwaad, den Mefistofeles te niet te doen--zoolang hij streeft. Maar in beginsel is hij, zoodra zijn strevenden wil zich verheft, hem te boven. Nu nadert tot den oud geworden Faust een gestalte, die lang afwezig is gebleven, maar toch op hem geloerd heeft zoolang Mefisto met hem ging: de Zorg. Is iemand hier? vraagt Faust. De vraag vereischt een ja, antwoordt zij.--En gij wie zijt gij dan?--Ik ben nu hier.--Verwijder u!--Ik ben ter rechter plaats.--Neem u in acht! zegt Faust, en spreek geen tooverwoord! En zij: al zou mij geen oor vernemen, toch weerklink ik in de harten; op wegen, op de zeetochten ben ik de steeds beangstigende medgezel. Steeds gevonden, nooit gezocht, ik wordt gevleid en gevloekt. Hebt ge nooit de zorg gekend? "Uw macht erken ik niet" roept Faust haar toe, maar zij blaast haar adem over hem uit en Faust wordt blind. Hij buigt zich niet voor de tegenstandster, zooals hij zich niet buigt voor Mefistofeles; hij is zichzelf en handelt uit aansporing van zijn eigen wezen, maar tegelijk vervult hem zijn grootsche daad met onbevredigdheid. "Nog heb ik mij niet opgeworsteld tot de vrijheid" roept hij uit; en: "de mensch doorreize zijn aardschen dag; als geesten spoken ga hij zijn vrijen gang. In het voortschrijden vinde hij smart en geluk, hij, onbevredigd elk oogenblik." De beperktheid van zijn kunnen en het te-kort van zijn zedelijk streven wordt aan den mensch te ondervinden gegeven door de macht, die zich tegenover hem stelt. Maar in zichzelf vindt hij zijn streven en de geestelijke kracht, die hem daarbij geleidt. Faust wordt door de zorg weerstaan, maar in zichzelf beseft hij den aandrang tot voortzetting zijner grootsche daad en voor zijn innerlijke oogen spiegelt het vizioen der voltooiing. Terwijl Mefisto's gezellen bezig zijn het graf te delven, waarin hij Faust hoopt te vangen, (want vernietiging acht hij het einde ook van dit leven), hoort de blindgeworden strever in het geklank der spaden het werk der arbeiders, die hij geroepen heeft. Immers een kanaal graven zij om een moeras af te leiden en aldus de gezondheid der streek voor haar bewoners te verhoogen? Het volk dat hier in vrijheid woont, zal zich uitbreiden. Het gevaar kennend en afwerend zal jeugd, manschap en grijsheid hier zijn lange leven in noeste werkzaamheid volvoeren! Deze gedachte is het die Faust vervult en als vizioen voor zijn blinde oogen zweeft, en in het licht daarvan roept hij uit: "nu waag ik tot het oogenblik te zeggen: blijf, want gij zijt schoon genoeg. In aeonen kan het spoor van mijn aardsche dagen niet vergaan. In het voorgevoel van zulk verheven geluk, geniet ik thans het hoogste oogenblik." Deze woorden zijn de laatste en Faust zinkt stervend op den grond. Dat hij de weddenschap met Mefistofeles slechts naar den klank des woords verloren heeft, is duidelijk. Hij zelf, aan Mefisto ontgroeid, is van hem vrijgekomen. Hij heeft zijn oneindig wezen tegen den ondergang bewaard.... maar niet verwerkelijkt. Het zedelijke streven is niet het hoogste bereik der menschelijke persoonlijkheid. "Wiens geest altijd strevend werkzaam is, dien kunnen wij verlossen" zal van Faust gelden: dat de zedelijke streving zelve de voltooiing van het menschelijk bestaan inhoudt, is daarmee niet gezegd!   V FAUST'S VOLEINDIGING   De liefdemacht. God en mensch. Overschrijding der begrensdheid. "God kennen is de hoogste deugd" leert Spinoza. Dit "hoogste" noemt hij summa virtus, hetgeen nog iets anders beteekent dan "hoogste" nl. toppunt der deugd. Het begrip "hoogste" duidt aan iets betrekkelijks, zijnde de uitkomst eener vergelijking; het beteekent niet, dat het nòg-hoogere is uitgesloten; slechts over het thans-voorhandene doet het uitspraak. Maar "toppunt" beteekent het logisch uiteinde der opstreving, waarbij het nòg-hoogere niet gedacht kan worden. Hier is het streven ten einde in zijn bereikte doel. De oude zedelijkheid erkende niet dat het geestesleven zijn (natuurlijke) voltooiing had in de eenheid met God en op deze eenheid was aangelegd. Zij geloofde aan de tegenstelling tusschen mensch en God (door de zonde) en hoopte te eindigen bij een verzoening. Dit is de oude religie, die uitgaat van het zondebesef, en met alle middelen de overtuiging hunner onwaardigheid bij de menschen aankweekt. Maar de ware religie, die zoo oud is als de beschaving, al bleef ze in het verborgen, beleed de fundamenteele identiteit des menschen met God (zooals de zonnestralen fundamenteel één zijn met de zon) en erkent dat in de bewuste eenheid met God het leven tot zijn waarheid is gekomen. Deze eenheid met God is een verheffing des bewustzijns, waarin het betrekkelijke is overwonnen; zij is onze vereeniging, die door de mystische denkers zelfs "vergoding" (theosis) is genoemd. De religieuze zielkunde handelt over haar in een diepzinnig hoofdstuk en het is deze vergoding als een voleindiging van het geestesleven, welke de Faust-dichter in de slot-scène van het gedicht heeft in beeld en klank en woord gebracht. In haar is geen Mefistofeles die het bewustzijn der oneindigheid tracht af te leiden of uit te dooven. Een bergwand rotsachtig met kloven en met bosch begroeid; niet bewoond dan door eenige kluizenaars; een geest van diepe geheimzinnigheid hangt daar; de berg is in lagere en hoogere gebieden verdeeld; geestelijke wezens zweven af en aan, en een koor van zalige knapen beweegt zich kringvormig om den hoogsten top; engelen van mindere en van meerdere volmaking gaan zingend om, terwijl zwevend de Mater gloriosa nadert op den aanroep van haar grootsten vereerder. Zalige vrouwen onder wie eene (weleer Gretchen genoemd) aanbidden haar, terwijl het onsterfelijk deel van Faust door Engelen wordt opwaarts gedragen en het geheele tafereel met een mystisch koor eindigt, waarin de eeuwigheid als voltooiing van den tijd bezongen wordt. Dit alles heeft de beteekenis van aanwijzing van een hoogere werkelijkheid. Deze berg is onttrokken aan de aardsche natuur en natuurwet; de wezens, die er vertoeven, zijn in zwevende beweging en de geheele berg is een heilige schuilplaats der liefde. Ook het streven en de zedelijke strijd bestaan hier niet. Wat in de wereld niet geldt, geldt hier: het is de almachtige Liefde die alles vormt en alles koestert. In deze sfeer wordt het wonder voltrokken der voleindiging van het geestesleven. De voltooiing moge een logisch gevolg zijn van de voorafwerkende krachten, zoodat het geestesleven uit zichzelf naar haar heenwijst--toch is haar werkelijkheid een nieuwe daad. Beter nog: in de voltooiing komt aan het licht welke kracht in het geestesleven verborgen was: de liefdekracht van God. De zedelijke houding van Faust was een strevende zelfwerkzaamheid, en het is dit streven, dat hem tot de volmaking voert ("wie altijd strevend werkzaam is, dien kunnen wij verlossen" zingen de engelen)--maar nu blijkt dat dit menschelijke streven nog een andere waarde heeft dan het streven van een mènsch te zijn: het is de ervaarbare keerzijde der Godskracht: de eeuwige scheppingshandeling Gods draagt het geheele leven, gelijk zij draagt de geheele wereld en waar wìj van zedelijk streven gewagen is 't in waarheid deze groote kracht, die zich in menschen openbaart. De groeikracht, waarmee de plant zich uit den aardbodem opheft, is niet haar speciale eigendom, maar is de Natuur zelve in haar werkzaamheid: zoo is het niet anders dan de Kosmische Liefde, die zich in Faust voordeed en vermomde als zijn eigen strevende wil. Zoo lang de mensch nog in zijn streven is bevangen en de Mefistofeles hem begeleidt, weet hij niet anders of het is zijn eigen zedelijke natuur die handelt.... maar dit wordt anders in de voleindiging. Ja dit is de voleindiging dat hij zich bewust is van de Godskracht als zijn eigen wezen. Op eens aanschouwt hij in zich niet zijn eigen persoon, maar het groote Wezen. Dit is de Godskennis waarvan Spinoza zegt dat zij het einde is der deugd, God schouwende met een helderheid als waarmee wij te voren van ons eigen streven bewust waren. Want de mensch leeft in het Wereldgeheel en de geheele wereldorde, die is de geest van God, woont in hem. Deze is de "eeuwige Liefde die alle dingen vormt" en in de voleindiging des levens hebben wij niet het partikuliere zelfbewustzijn, maar het bewustzijn van God, dat is van de eeuwige Liefde. Wij zìjn ons bewust van de Oneindige Tegenwoordigheid. Als "de Liefde van boven aan ons deelneemt roept de heilige schaar ons het welkom toe." De Pater Seraphicus, langs den berg zwevend, roept op tot deze ondervinding: "Stijgt opwaarts tot hooger gebied, groeit ongemerkt, want hier versterkt u de zuivere tegenwoordigheid van God. Dit is het voedsel der geesten, regeerend in het vrije hemelruim; dit is de openbaring der eeuwige Liefde, die zich in ons tot zaligheid ontvouwt." De beteekenis van Faust's oneindigen drang wordt nu verstaan: wat hem drong is het Oneindige zelf: zijn strevende natuur is van den beginne aan niets anders geweest dan de oneindige kracht Gods in haar menschelijke keerzij: datgene waarvan de Wagners onbewust waren, werd door de Fausten beseft; maar met een vóórbesef dat zich nu eerst tot levend inzicht voltooit. Nu eerst.... De mensch streeft zoolang hij leeft en zoolang hij streeft dwaalt hij en is door Mefistofeles vergezeld. Faust wordt voleindigd door den dood heen. De ingang in het groote Mysterie is de voorwaarde tot de voleindiging. Faust zelf heeft nog in zijn laatste levensstonde verzekerd, dat het "uitzicht naar boven" hem is afgesloten en dus de kennis van het oneindige, waarnaar hij tevoren zoo vurig smachtte, niet verkregen is. Maar het onbekende is niet het onwerkelijke, en gelijk hij eenmaal den dood heeft willen roepen om hem in het mysterie in te wijden, zoo komt nu de dood met het mysterie en wijdt hem in. Slechts de dood geeft die zuivering waarbij de geest des menschen tot zichzelven komt, de uitwendigheid der wereld aan de aandacht ontzinkt. "Reeds is hij schoon en groot van heilig leven" zingt over Faust een schare van zalige knapen. Het zedelijk streven van den mensch is, in zijn grond beschouwd, niet eigen werk, maar de Godskracht in hare werkzaamheid; want naar ons wezen zijn wij het Algemeene, en de Geest des Geheels heeft hier zijne inwoning. Het streven opwaarts is, alzoo beschouwd, de aantrekkingskracht die van boven werkt, en de Faust-dichter noemt deze aantrekkingskracht: het eeuwig-vrouwelijke . "Het eeuwig-vrouwelijke trekt ons opwaarts" luiden de slotwoorden van het Faust-gedicht: "Das ewig-weibliche zieht uns hinan." Wat is de beteekenis dezer uitspraak? Naar ons voorkomt deze: tot nu toe kenmerkt Faust zich door de strevende werkzaamheid. Het streven is het eeuwig-mannelijke; deze drang tot werken, deze voortschrijdende daadkracht is de scheppende macht, gewrochten voortbrengend en van den eenen tot den anderen arbeid voortgaand. Maar, "wie immer in strevende werking is dien kunnen wij verlossen"; hetgeen beteekent dat niet deze mannelijke gezindheid zelve de verlossing is: in haar wordt Mefistofeles geleidelijk overwonnen, maar het eindpunt der overwinning wordt niet bereikt. Doch in 't einde moet de mensch inzien, dat niet hijzelf, dat is niet zijn individueele eigen-persoon, de voleindiging toebereidt, maar dat hij haar verwerft krachtens de Godheid die zijne werkende macht is. Hij, als eigenpersoon, geeft zich over . Hier treedt het passieve moment in, dat de aktiviteit bekroont. Wat hem tevoren werk toescheen schijnt hem nu rust. Daarom is de Godheid in dit opzicht dat zij het geestesleven voleindigt, voor hem niet de werkzame Man, maar degene in wien het werk ten einde is en bij wien de mannenkracht uitrust: zijn tegendeel: het eeuwig-Vrouwelijke. Man en Vrouw, Mannelijkheid en Vrouwelijkheid zijn symbolische namen en symbolische begrippen om de goddelijke werking aan te duiden. In dit opzicht van ten einde zijn des werks en van overgave onzer persoonlijkheid aan den Voleinder is het goddelijke vrouwelijk gedacht. Hier is een innigheid die tusschen man en man niet bestaat. Wat de Middeleeuwen in de Maria-dienst, wat de Griek in de Aarde-moeder nabij was, deze aflegging van den menschelijken eigen-wil en van het eigen-bewustzijn, vindt Faust in zijn opstijging, aangetrokken door het eeuwig-Vrouwelijke der goddelijke Liefde. Hier is niet bedoeld een onderdompeling in het onbewuste onzer zinnelijke natuur, gelijk men heeft verklaard, maar een opstijging boven het bepaalde bewustzijn van ons verstandelijk daglicht.   Het menschenleven voleindigt zich door inkeer tot zijn grond; het eindigt bij zijn aanvang. Het Faust-gedicht begint in den hemel d. i. in de sfeer van God en vindt er zijn einde. In het einde is de eeuwige Dag aangelicht. De eerste Dag van Faust was het vale, voorbijgezwoegde tijdperk zijner vergeefsche inspanning, eindigend in de klacht. Daarna de avond met mysterieuse diepten en zinnelijkheid en eindelijk de voornacht bespookt door wroeging en verwijt. Deze eerste Dag is het eerste Deel des gedichts. De na-nacht brengt kalmte en geeft den strever geestes-rust. Nu verschijnt de nieuwe Morgen van arbeid, de morgen van het groote streven en deze morgen geeft zich over aan den Eeuwigen Dag. Publication Date: November 8th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-dhe51a0383f3435

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Just.Us.Friendz 29 Days By Just.Us.Friendz 29 Days 29 days What happens when you die? Is there a life after death? Does it just end on your final heartbeat? Questions like these have been asked for generations, but the answer is unclear still to the day. We do not know what is past the final moment of life and we will possibly never know till we are there. But when you are dieing you think about these questions and it makes you wonder.My name is Jamie Friday and I am only 16 years old, and a 29 days ago Doctors predicted that I would live a month at best because of a deadly disease. I am writing this so when I am gone you will know about my final day and my final month on this so new world that I was still an infant on. My story begins two months before hand. I was out with friends playing football down the local park. I have never been the sporty type because I guess I was too lazy and did not have the energy to keep up with the pace. But saying that I am fitter now than I used to be. I used to weigh 18 stone and could not walk up the stairs with out being out of breath, but health was great. I was normally always out with my mates going to parties and just hanging out. Never in problem with the law but I cannot say the same for some of my friends, but I was just normal till one day when I noticed something different. I went for a tackle while playing football and suddenly a pain spread across the whole of my chest and pulled me to the ground. I did not take much notice of it and got up again and continued playing. The pain appeared more and more often after that and started to hurt and affect my way of life. I told my parents and they took me to the doctors at the local hospital to run some tests on me. I felt like a lab rat and they were taking all these weird samples of blood and DNA and they explained it,though the use of long words that I did not understand like Haemoglobin and Red Blood Cell count. It was a long day and I spend most of it worrying about it because the doctors had that look, the look saying it was not going to be good. The waiting was the worst part because I could not move because of all the leads and cables connecting me to a machine. I felted like a mouse on a computer being pushed about to allow an input into a program and just being ignore by the operators. After the final test they sent me home and gave me a date to come in and collect the results. It was two weeks time. So I went to school the next Monday and my friends were asking questions about what was wrong with me or was I faking it? We joked all day about it on the Monday but by Thursday, it began to sink in that this thing could be serious! I may have to spend two months in hospital or have multiple operations just to lead a normal life. The two weeks went fast and I was back in the GP office but it seem to be only a couple of days ago I was in the bed in the hospital with pipes and cables connected to my arm. The GP got my notes out and opened then. His body language was uneasy and I knew he was going to say something, was it serious or just was he having a bad day. He looked at me and said, "Right there is no easy way of saying this so I am just going to tell you straight and I am not going to confuse you with medicinal jargon." He signed and looked at the notes again and then looked up and straight at me again. "You are dieing and we cannot do anything about it. You have a thing inside of you which is affecting your heart, it may kill you if it ends the heart or it could miss it and we will be able to remove it from your body." The thought of death came across me. I had done nothing in my life and now I was told that I could be death sooner than I wanted to be. I wanted to live until about fifty or even sixty years old and to travel the world and to meet so many new people. "How long I said" Once I had overcame the thoughts. "Up to a month, if it moves into your heart, you may live a maximum 29 days, or if it does move out of the heart region you will live to the end of your natural death." "So with all this new technology you have, there is no way to remove this thing in side of me?" I said in an angry voice. "No way until it is clear of the heart." The doctor added "Thats not good effort" I said as I stood up and ran out of the office and out of the hospital.I felt like I nevr wanted to go back there ever again. I spentthe rest of that day sitting on a hill looking over the town which I was born and only had just started to discover its hidden treasures. I watched the Sunset on the horizon before I got up and started to walk home. As I walked along the street, all the streetlights came on and lit my path. I walked past a nightclub and said to myself why not. If I was only to live another 28 days I might as well embrace the world while I can. And from the first dance on the dance floor to the next 28 days I lived out my life the way I wanted to finish my life and existence in a peace statue of mind and now I am sitting back on that hill looking over my town, the pains had got worst over the last couple of days and now they were at there worst and the pain was unbearable. I was starting to feel sleepy and I could feel my body starting to shut down and I looked at the horizon and saw the sun set for the last time. I closed my eyes and I saw the sunset as my mind went blank and all went silence as my watch hit the 29 days! "As a sun sets on one life and meaning, The sun rises on another life, And the cycle is complete, And it starts on it journey again!" The End Of The Story The Start To A New Life Ahead Thanks For Reading Publication Date: November 20th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-just.us.friendz

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littlebit the gurl who got chased by a ............ you will find out wat she got chased by in the book... the girl who got chased by ........... A girl,her name was abby, she was walking home from school but she lived all by herself, her parents died in a strang car accadent.well when she was walking home from school she always took a short cut through the woods. but one day when she was walking to her home,if she should call it howm,she hear a growl behind her she did not know wat it was.she went running through the woods as fast as she could but it was not fast.then she felt something slice her back open she fell head first to the forest floor. she didnot know wat it was but she new it could kill her..... Publication Date: October 30th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-littlebit06914

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-kc-wheeler-a-leap-for-the-sky/

Kc Wheeler A Leap For The Sky A Leap For The Sky Chapter One Her ears forward, her gait steady, Gypsy didn’t falter for a moment. I counted my strides, one, two, three , and leaned forward as Gypsy sailed into the air, clearing the large fence with inches to spare. “Wahoo! That was awesome!” my friend, Lucy, shrieked excitedly as we hit the ground. I gave Gypsy a gentle, rewarding slap on her hot, sweaty neck. “Good girl, good girl, good girl,” I repeated happily. I turned to Lucy and grinned. “1.35 metres; no problem for Adele and Gypsy! Showjumping champs, here we come!” I exclaimed. “You’re going to rock!” Lucy cried. I dismounted my horse, loosened her girth, and walked her slowly around the rubber-chip arena, letting her cool off. It was a hot Summer’s day and Gypsy had worked incredibly hard for me. Her coat was thoroughly streaked with sweat, dark against her golden coat. I tied her next to Lucy’s horse, Bugs, and quickly untacked Gypsy before hosing her down. Hot steam rose up from Gypsy’s back. “I bet that feels good, aye girl?” I murmured. Bugs pulled hard against the lead rope, sticking his face through the water flow. “He wants a drink!” Lucy laughed. “Bugs is a strange horse.” I giggled and aimed the hose at Bugs whose upper lip curled as he drank. Gypsy watched, her eyes wide with interest. “Gypsy thinks he’s strange too!” I stated. Lucy was my best friend and had been for ten years since we discovered we were both totally into horses at age seven. Even today, we were often lectured for discussing horses in class when we were meant to be working. Tall and slender with brown hair, I thought she kind of looked like her horse. Bugs was an athletic-built, plain bay Thoroughbred gelding who like Lucy, was very tall. At 16.2-hands-high, Bugs positively towered over Gypsy who stood a mere 15-hands-high. Unlike Lucy, I looked nothing like my horse. I thought I was very plain looking with thick brown hair and grey-blue eyes. Gypsy was a beautiful, rich chestnut mare with a thick blaze and four white stockings. Part Quarter horse, part Thoroughbred, Gypsy stood not only short but quite stocky, being an unusual candidate for an excellent jumping horse. Though bred for Western, it was as though Gypsy was born to jump- She’d even been seen jumping freely by choice in the paddock! While her dressage was merely average, she made up for it with a super cute jumping style, scope to burn, and the heart to clear any obstacle she was faced her with. My parents had given me Gypsy three years ago on my fourteenth birthday, as a nine-year-old mare with wins and placings up to 90 centimetres in showjumping. I was also told Gypsy had successfully given birth to a beautiful colt. My fourteenth birthday was the best day of my life, and Gypsy was by far the best present anyone had ever given me. Gypsy and I clicked from day one and she had quickly become my best friend; alongside Lucy of course. Gypsy also gave me ever-growing confidence to move up the heights in showjumping. In one week from now, Gypsy and I were to enter and compete in our first ever 1.25 metres showjumping round at the 2015 Showjumping Championships. Lucy and I led the horses to their paddock. We both grazed our horses at Ridgewood Stables. It was a great place with a large arena dotted with professional-looking show jumps, a small numbered dressage arena, 70 acres of turn-out grazing, and the stables. The beach was a ten-minute ride away and the roads were quiet. The owner, Michael, was very kind and obliging, and we were yet to encounter any serious problems with the boarders. I slipped off Gypsy’s halter. “Off you go.” Gypsy stood there, ears forward, staring at me. She made no attempt to move. Bugs however, took off in full gallop, letting loose a gleeful buck before halting and dropping to his knees in the centre of the paddock. He grunted as he rolled onto his back, hooves pointed loosely towards the sky. Gypsy stepped towards the gate where we stood and stretched out her neck, blowing hot air at my hands. “Sorry girl. I don’t have a treat,” I told her, softly touching her velvet-nose. As if she understood, Gypsy stretched further, nosing at Lucy’s pocket. “Ohhh, you’re too clever!” Lucy laughed. She pulled a carrot stick from her pocket and Gypsy gratefully took it between her teeth. She crunched down the carrot then reached out, hoping for more. Lucy pulled at her pocket so it was inside out. “No more. Sorry Gypsy!” Lucy and I giggled as Gypsy sighed loudly. She turned around and plodded over to Bugs, where she too dropped to her knees and rolled, her heavy body pressing into the dirt. She stood, shaking dust from her coat, and the two horses slowly wandered side by side towards the water trough. “Are we jumping tomorrow?” Lucy asked me. I thought for a moment. “How about we ride down to the beach tomorrow? The horses could do with a day off jumping.” “Sounds like a plan. Can we meet at around ten tomorrow morning?” Lucy asked. “Mum wants us to go shopping for new school shirts and socks,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I am not looking forward to going back to school!” “Sure, ten is fine; and me neither!” I told her. “I’d much rather be riding. I keep telling Mum that I plan to show-jump for a living, so technically I’m better off practicing my jumping than wasting time at school.” I sighed. “But she keeps insisting that I stay at school for the last year anyway. ‘Just in case’ she says. She doubts my ability to turn my passion into a career, though she doesn’t quite word it that way.” Lucy nodded knowingly. “Well, we have Showjumping Champs before school starts back again, so let’s just focus on that. Talking about school is sort of depressing,” she said, screwing up her face. I perked up. “Every time I think about Showjumping Champs I get so excited!” “Me too. I’m really nervous too though,” Lucy admitted. Lucy and I had been planning for 2015 Showjumping Champs since last year’s Showjumping Champs. Not only was it to be my first class at 1.25 metres, but it was Lucy’s first class at 1.05 metres. She had previously owned an old schoolmaster named Jock, who could no longer jump competitively over 95 centimetres due to mild arthritis. But now she had Bugs. At only seven-years-old Bugs was young and fit. He had a big, effortless jump that had improved immensely since Lucy had owned him, and had won his last two classes at 95 centimetres. Schooling over technical courses up to 1.10 metres at home, I knew Bugs would find the 1.05 metres class within his capabilities. “Bugs is an honest jumper,” I replied to Lucy. “I bet you guys will do great!” I wasn’t nervous but I knew I was likely to be when the time came. I was so lucky to have such a reliable, talented horse to carry me, and my nerves, around the course. “How was Gypsy today?” Mum asked me at dinner. Mum and Dad sat opposite me at the table and my eleven-year-old sister, Natasha, sat beside me. “She was amazing!” I exclaimed with a mouth full of spaghetti bolognaise. “We jumped 1.35 metres. You should have seen her! She didn’t even hesitate and she cleared it by miles!” Dad frowned. “Be careful on that horse, Adele,” he said. He was such a worrier, but I was the only one in the family who was interested in horses and was lucky to have such supportive parents. “That’s great, honey,” Mum smiled at me and lifted her fork to her mouth. “You guys have kept the 17th free, right?” “What’s on the 17th?” Dad joked. “As if you haven’t reminded us of the date enough times,” Mum muttered. Then she glanced at me. “Yes, we’ll all be there to watch you. Even Natasha.” Natasha screwed up her face. “Boring!” Sometimes I wondered how I could be related to someone who disliked horses so much. I zoned out as Natasha started discussing her day with Mum and Dad. I kept fantasizing about Showjumping Champs. I could almost feel Gypsy’s smooth canter beneath me as we approached the first fence. I leaned forward slightly in my chair as Gypsy took off in my mind. A rider habit. Chapter Two It was yet another hot sunny day. The horse’s shoes clonked on the tarsal road as we rode North towards the beach. I loved that sound. “So, Larissa has a new horse,” Lucy was telling me. “He’s a Selle Francais Warmblood and apparently he cost her parents over thirty-thousand dollars!” she exclaimed. Larissa was not our most favourite person in the world. Larissa was so perfect that it made me sick. She was very pretty with long black hair and bright green eyes. There weren’t as many Equestrian males as there were females, but any that existed were guaranteed to be chatting up Larissa at horse events. Despite being a horse rider, she managed to keep long pedicured nails. This was because she didn’t take care of her own horses. She didn’t feed them, she didn’t groom them; she didn’t tack them up before riding, and she most definitely wouldn’t be caught dead with a pitch-fork. Her parents hired stable hands to do all the hard work for her. They even had exercise riders to keep the horses fit since they continued to buy Larissa new, expensive horses without selling on Larissa’s previous main mounts. Larissa’s only responsibility was attending the lessons her parents scheduled for her, which were of course with highly rated grand prix and even Olympic riders. She was also expected to perform well at competitions, which she always did on her expensive well-schooled horses. Larissa always won. Always. Admittedly, yes, we were a bit jealous of her; though I’d choose my Gypsy horse over any other horse in the world. But the reason we disliked her is because although sickeningly sweet to anybody she felt worthy of her presence, she treated those she believed not, like complete and utter crap. Apparently Lucy and I were not worthy of Larissa’s presence; probably because our horses weren’t Warmbloods and our families were middle-class. “Larissa is competing her new horse in the 1.25 metres class at Showjumping Champs,” Lucy explained. “Imagine if you beat her!” she exclaimed. “I’d love to see the look on her face!” “Well, there’s no chance of that happening,” I muttered bitterly. “You never know,” Lucy said slowly. “Her new horse might be a good jumper, but so is Gypsy.” “Her new horse is probably, like, 17-hands!” I cried, thinking of the advantages such a big horse would have over Gypsy. He’d have the ability to go around at a slower, more collected gait while still beating Gypsy’s time with his massive strides. 1.25 metres would require little effort for his long legs as opposed to Gypsy, who jumped cleanly, but with the fence high above her belly would not succeed without giving it her all. “Height doesn’t always matter!” Lucy insisted. “He won’t be able to cut corners the way Gypsy can. She’s nimble and excellent at jumping from odd angles.” I smiled as I pictured my little, fat, part-bred Quarter horse beating a thirty-thousand-dollar Warmblood. If only. While it was a pleasant fantasy, I’d be happy if Gypsy just did her best. And Gypsy always did her very best. The track to the beach came into view and we could clearly hear the rush of the ocean. The horses now strode out and walked with a purpose, their heads held high. We trotted down the beach track and into the soft sand. I always loved how a horse felt beneath me on the beach. Their movement always felt so soft; so floaty as they sunk down into the golden sand. It was like riding on a ghost-horse, gently bobbing above the ground. We slowed to a walk and headed towards the water. Bugs, typical of the Thoroughbred breed, jig-jogged sideways, his eyes wild with excitement. Lucy was a nice, quiet rider and sat calmly in the saddle, her body so still despite Bugs’ bouncy movement beneath her. Gypsy eagerly carried me into the sea, stopping to sniff, then paw, gently at the waves. Bugs had been race trained at the beach and the sea was no threat to him either. Soon Bugs settled down and we rode side by side through the shallow water. “Adele?” Lucy said, squinting at me beneath her helmet. “Hmm?” “You know how you want to show-jump for a living?” I stared at her. “Yeah?” “Well,” she glanced down at Bugs’ neck. “Basically, I was wondering what will happen when Gypsy can’t take you any higher?” Lucy asked quickly. “She jumped 1.35 metres yesterday,” I said. “Yes, but it’s different jumping just one jump as opposed to a course. And even if she can compete at 1.35 metres, that’s only 10 centimetres higher than what you’re competing next week. If that goes well, you could be up at 1.35 metres in no time.” I stared at Lucy, confused. “You say that like it’s a bad thing!” “What I mean,” Lucy spoke slowly now, as if explaining herself to a child. “Is what if she isn’t comfortable competing over 1.25 metres? Or even 1.35 metres… Whatever. I mean, she is only small.” “You said just before that height doesn’t always matter!” I cried, annoyed. Lucy looked away. “She’s not exactly bred to be a high level jumper either though. I mean, how many Quarter horses do you see competing at huge heights?” “She’s half Thoroughbred!” I spoke shrilly. “But she’s built more like a Quarter horse.” I twirled a piece of Gypsy’s mane around my finger. I knew Lucy had a point, and to be honest I didn’t see Gypsy taking me much higher than 1.25 metres in the competition ring. I knew deep down that she was nearing the peak of her potential, but Lucy knew I never wanted to sell Gypsy so why was she so insistent on making me think about that right now? “I’ll have to get a new horse,” I said finally. “But I won’t be selling Gypsy. I’ll have two horses.” “How will you afford to buy a new horse then?” Lucy asked. “You and I both know that not just any old horse will be capable of living up to your expectations.” “I’ll get a part-time job. You know, until my riding career kicks off.” I smiled, satisfied and relieved with my answer. I had reassured myself that everything was going to be okay. “Maybe I can find a cheap ex-race horse like Bugs to train up,” I said. “A lot of off-the-track Thoroughbreds have made it big in jumping,” I added thoughtfully. Lucy grinned. “Well, Bugs has turned out to be pretty brilliant.” At that moment, Bugs threw his head in Lucy’s face and began to jig-jog again, the water foaming around him. “Well, he can be a bit naughty…” Lucy mumbled. “He’s probably not going to the Olympics either. But there are nicer Thoroughbreds out there who would put Bugs to shame,” she admitted. She then leaned forward and covered Bugs’ ears with both hands, causing him to chuck his head again. “You didn’t hear that Bugs.” I smiled, calm again, and grateful to be riding such a laid back horse in comparison. “Do you mind if we canter?” Lucy asked suddenly. “It’ll be good for him to let off some steam!” “Sure,” I answered. Lucy slid her leg behind the girth and Bugs leaped high into a canter, yanking hard at Lucy’s hands before giving in and lowering his head. Gypsy calmly popped into a canter behind him, her usually smooth gait, rough in the ocean. Waves crashed against us, throwing water into my riding boots, soaking my leggings and socks. Gypsy’s short copper mane flew up with every stride. With a burst of speed, we were now beside Bugs and Lucy, closest to the shore, her canter small and quick in comparison to Bugs’ long, ground-covering strides. Bugs, still a race horse at heart, pinned his ears flat and tugged against the bit. Lucy leaned forward and gave with her hands, allowing Bugs full freedom of his head and neck. I followed suite and stood in the stirrups as both horses increased their pace. We veered left onto the wet, compact sand where both horses sped up once more. Faster and faster we went until both horses reached full gallop. Despite her size, Gypsy managed to keep at Bugs’ heels for a while, her legs moving wildly beneath me. However, although an average race horse among other race horses, Bugs was still a big, long-legged Thoroughbred, and Gypsy was still a short, stocky crossbreed; so with the subtle cue from Lucy, Bugs lengthened his stride once more and ate up the ground, leaving Gypsy and me for dust. My hair blew wildly into my face and damp salty air burned lightly at my skin. The ocean flew by in a blur of green. I stood in the stirrups, perched low over Gypsy’s back, a handful of mane in one hand for extra balance. I gazed through Gypsy’s ears, which kept flickering back as she listened to my heavy breathing. We were going so fast, yet Bugs and Lucy appeared to be a speck in the distance and I silently vowed myself to ask for a gallop on Bugs next time. Fit from full work, Gypsy continued on strong and I wanted to shriek with glee as her hooves thundered upon the hard sand. Besides showjumping, I couldn’t think of anything more amazing than this; the freedom, the speed and the bond between Gypsy and I left me exhilarated. All too soon, Bugs and Lucy appeared nearer and nearer and I realized they were walking now. I slowed Gypsy to a canter, a trot, and finally a walk. She took the contact and lowered her neck, stretching out towards the ground. “That was fun aye girl?” I murmured. “It was amazing!” Lucy exclaimed. “Bugs is very fast!” I commented. Bugs walked calmly now, blowing hard, his thin coat lightly glistening with sweat. “Yup; all he needed was to blow off some steam,” Lucy said matter-of-factly. Chapter Three I felt so tired after our big beach ride. However, when the time came to go to bed, I was wide awake. I switched on the bedside lamp and grabbed my book, The Horse Whisperer. I was halfway through The Horse Whisperer and I had been enjoying it thoroughly, but tonight I struggled to get into it. When I found myself reading the same line repeatedly, I shut the book and placed it back on my bedside table. I then leaned over and reached beneath my bed where I kept my photo album. This album was full entirely of horse photographs and I intentionally kept the album there for nights like this. The first photo was of me mounted on Missy, a fat, grey Welsh pony I rode when I started riding lessons as a six-year-old, with a lady named Mel. Missy would have been lucky to be 12-hands-high, yet I looked so small up there in my pink jodhpurs and miniature jodhpur boots. I wore a huge, happy grin upon my face. Missy on the other hand, stood half asleep with her head lowered and both ears out to the side. It was just another day for Missy. Day in, day out, Missy carted around kids as they bounced on her back, struggling to follow Mel’s instructions. Such a patient pony was Missy. I flicked through a couple more photos of Missy and I; one of me learning to trot, my legs so far forward that my foot touched her shoulder; and one of us standing between two chestnut ponies mounted by Deanna and Kirsty, two girls who attended riding lessons with me. The next image showed me at my first horse show. I was eight-years-old here and had moved onto a more advanced pony named Tiger. Tiger was a truly stunning animal. He was part Arab and had an elegant, dished head with a huge white diamond beneath his forelock. Lean and athletically built, he was a picture of health, his bay coat forever shinning in the sunlight. This was a picture-perfect photo. Unlike Missy, his ears were forward and his bright alert eyes were looking directly at the camera. He had a neck full of ribbons. I sat with the same happy grin I had in the photo of Missy. I remembered feeling so pleased with myself. I continued to flick through the album, stopping to study showjumping images. Unfortunately, Mum was my regular photographer and it was rare that she managed to take an image at the peak of the jump. Instead, I flicked through photograph after photograph of Tiger a stride before take-off, and a stride after landing. I’d started showjumping on Tiger and discovered I absolutely loved to jump. At every riding lesson I’d ask, “Can we jump today?” I was always disappointed when Mel said, “Dressage is the base to good jumping,” and we had a straight dressage lesson instead. I finally reached an image of Gypsy. She stood grazing at Ridgewood stables behind a wire fence. Leaning against the fence stood a large cardboard sign; it read, “Happy Birthday, meet Gypsy.” I smiled at the memory. I remembered feeling confused. I didn’t dare hope she was for me until Dad confirmed it. “It’s not every day you get a horse for your birthday, is it?” he’d laughed. I had burst into tears, tears of pure joy. I’d hugged both of my parents and then rushed to the paddock to hug Gypsy who had at first seemed taken aback. Still, she stood there quietly as I cried into her mane. Just as I finally managed to stop the happy tears, she’d rested her head affectionately on my shoulder and I had found a new river to cry. I came to a professionally taken image of Gypsy and I showjumping together for the first time. The fence was only 80 centimetres, but Gypsy sailed above it a lot higher, her knees tucked tightly to her chest. Anybody could see the enjoyment jumping gave her in this image. Her dark eyes shone bright, searching for the next jump. Her ears were pricked forward. You could vaguely see the smile beneath my helmet. My eyes were hidden behind black-rimmed glasses- Once or twice I’d come close to losing them in a jumping round and I was glad I wore contacts now. I remembered I was having the time of my life. I had been so nervous prior, and Gypsy had been sure to take away any doubt from the moment we entered the ring. Though forward and excited beneath me, she waited patiently for the cue to canter. She did not rush on approach, nor fight me as some showjumping horses do. Respectful and trusting of me, she gave me a safe, tidy round to finish off in third place. It was after midnight. I forced myself to shut the album, sliding it carefully back under my bed. I switched off the bedside lamp and lay on my back. A white strip of light shone through the window and danced across the ceiling. All was still and quiet. I closed my eyes and silently willed sleep to come. When fifteen minutes later I was still wide-awake, I climbed out of bed and switched on the light. I picked todays clothes up from off the floor and pulled them on. I then headed down the stairs, walking lightly on my feet, careful not to wake anybody. I stopped at the front door to step into my gumboots. Ridgewood stables was fortunately just a five-minute drive away, so I found myself with Gypsy very quickly. It was a mild night. The air was still and thousands of stars dotted the dark sky, promising the sun for tomorrow. Not a sound was to be heard; I felt alone in the world; just me and the horses. Bugs stood alert, staring at me through the darkness. He snorted as I approached, his body tense and ready to flee. I spoke softly to him and instantly he relaxed with recognition and started to graze. While Bugs had been very surprised to see somebody at this hour, Gypsy didn’t act fazed. She lay, her legs tucked beneath her. She nickered softly as I sat down cross-legged beside her in the dampened grass. “Hey girl. I couldn’t sleep,” I whispered, gently stroking her thick white blaze. Gypsy sighed and lowered her head into my lap, warming me both inside and out. I was so content with Gypsy, beneath the stars, surrounded by her sweet, horsey scent. I didn’t know how long I sat there. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. I was overwhelmed with a new sense of peace and when I went back to bed, I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Chapter Four The 17th finally arrived and both horses had been performing brilliantly on the lead up to it. Full of excitement, I slid out of bed as soon as my alarm went off at 7am. I happily tugged open the curtains. And groaned in disappointment. Dark, menacing clouds filled the sky. A light drizzle came down, disappearing into the mist that hovered above the ground. The trees, their leaves glistening with rain drops, swayed gently in the slight breeze. The weather forecast had stated sunshine with light cloud and winds forming in the evening. How unlucky. I pulled the curtains shut again, and stared glumly at the peach coloured material. I knew that Showjumping Champs would still go ahead. It would take incredibly severe weather for it to be canceled, but it meant I’d have to put studs in Gypsy’s shoes for extra grip, and ride slowly and very carefully. By the time my round starts, the ground will be muddy and chopped up, I thought unhappily. I pulled on white jodhpurs, then an older pair over top to keep the first pair clean until my showjumping round. I then trudged down the stairs and into the empty kitchen. Everybody was still in bed. I was meeting Lucy and her dad, Steve, at Ridgewood stables. Using his truck and their old float, Steve would tow us to the showgrounds. My parents and Natasha were coming later to watch my round. I grabbed a blueberry muffin and headed out the door where I was greeted with a cold chill. I then double checked I had everything I needed in my car. I’d bought home my horse gear for oiling and cleaning last night after bathing and grooming Gypsy to perfection. Lucy and her dad were already at Ridgewood stables when I arrived. Lucy was heading to the stables where the horses slept last night, two lead ropes in her hands. I hurried over to her. “Hey!” Lucy greeted me. She handed me a lead rope for Gypsy. “It’s a shame about the weather, huh?” “Yes!” I cried. “I was so disappointed when I looked outside this morning.” “At least Showjumping Champs doesn’t cancel very often. I don’t think I could handle it if they canceled.” “I couldn’t handle it either,” I agreed. “We’ve been waiting for this day for so long.” Gypsy nickered happily when she saw me. She didn’t appreciate being cooped up in a stable. Even in Winter she much preferred the freedom of the paddock; but she was always stabled to stay clean before competitions. “Showjumping Champs today!” I told her. I snapped the lead rope to her halter and reached for her hay net to take to the showgrounds. “Cut it out!” I heard Lucy growl angrily. She leaned against Bugs’ chest, forcing him to back up. “He gets so pushy after he’s been stabled!” Lucy mumbled. She walked forward again and Bugs bounced along beside her excitedly. Bugs really could be a handful at times. Once my tack and the horses were loaded up, we were away on the one-hour journey. “I feel like I’ve forgotten something,” Lucy said thoughtfully five minutes later. “Do you have your show gear?” I asked. “Yes,” Lucy said uncertainly. “Saddle and bridle?” “Tick.” “Saddle pad?” “Tick.” “Studs?” Lucy’s face went pale. “Don’t worry, I packed you some just in case,” Steve assured her. Lucy was lucky. Her dad rode up until he in was in his late twenties, so was extremely helpful and relatively educated on horses and riding. “Oh yay, thanks Dad,” Lucy said, the colour returning to her face. “I have hay for Bugs, jumping boots for his legs… Um… There’s a bucket in the float for water. I have Bugs’ breastplate and I think the martingale is still on it… It better be, he needs that,” Lucy said frowning. “Stop stressing,” Steve grinned through the review mirror. “The only thing you’ve forgotten is your confidence.” “I’m definitely not feeling very confident,” Lucy admitted. “Bugs has been jumping so well though,” I said. Lucy closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat. “It’s not him I’m worried about.” The weather hadn’t seemed to keep anyone away for the showgrounds were full of uncountable floats and horse trucks. I noticed Lucy’s eyes widen with fear as she scanned her surroundings. But she bit her lip and said nothing. We pulled into an empty spot beside a big horse truck. Then we realized who we were parked beside. “No Dad! We have to move; we can’t park here!” Lucy cried. “Can we leave?” she begged, panicked. “Please?” Larissa sat texting in the front seat of her parent’s truck, a new Holden Colorado. A groom in muck-out boots and a green rain jacket, was carefully plating the mane of her new Warmblood. I was unable to see his body due to his cover, but I was able to see he was a rich bay with a handsome face, and a long, well-muscled neck. He stood tall as I expected, even taller than Bugs. “Don’t be silly Lucy. This park is in a great spot.” Steve said. “But… but… Larissa!” she stammered, pointing. “Oh. The girl you don’t like,” he said calmly. “Well, imagine how much more she’d hassle you if she realized she was able to drive you away from a perfect park.” Steve smiled smugly and opened the driver’s door. “Let’s unload these horses.” Lucy looked at me in horror. I didn’t particularly want to be parked next to Larissa either, but the look on Lucy’s face was so mortified that I had to swallow a laugh. “Just ignore her,” I said. “She’s not worth worrying about.” Lucy’s mouth dropped open like she couldn’t believe what I’d said. Then she sighed. “Let’s help Dad then.” Bugs came scrambling off the float and peered around, his eyes near popping out of their sockets as if he couldn’t believe where he was. He let out a loud, shrill neigh. A husky neigh in the distance answered his call. Gypsy who had been in a competitive environment many times before, slowly backed out from the float and gently pulled at the lead rope, asking to graze at the lush grass. We tied the horses to the side of the float furthest from Larissa, and hung their hay-nets within their reach. Bugs took a quick mouthful and then stopped chewing, the hay strands hanging loosely from his mouth. He called out again, a high pitched noise that hurt my ears. “Oh I just know he’s going to be naughty today!” Lucy held both hands to her face, staring hard at her horse as he fidgeted on his feet. “He’s been to a few competitions now. He’ll calm down.” I assured her. “Not a competition as big as this! There’s three times the amount of people and horses than there was at our other shows.” Lucy did have a point. I saw bays and chestnuts all around- the most common horse colours. There was also a fair amount of greys and blacks, a handful of pinto horses, duns and palominos, and I spotted a couple of roans. A leopard-spot Appaloosa grazed across from us. There were horses so finely built they made Bugs looked heavy, and horses so heavily built they made Gypsy look fine. Many people were already mounted and warming up for the lower classes. The heights for Showjumping Champs began at seventy-five centimetres. Some horses worked nicely on the bit while others bucked and pranced around, ignoring their rider’s aids. Laughter and chatter surrounded us completely. Horses called out and answered each other from all different directions. I could see why Bugs, and Lucy, were overwhelmed. “You don’t have to get on for a long-while yet. He has plenty of time to settle down,” I said. “And plenty of time for me to worry,” Lucy added; but she forced a smile to her face. “I’ll be proud of myself once it’s over, and I’ll be so glad I did it.” “Exactly!” I agreed, relieved to see her taking a more positive approach. At that moment Larissa got out of the truck and strutted towards us confidently. “Well, he looks very stressed!” she commented, pointing at Bugs. “Are you sure you should be jumping him today?” Lucy’s face dropped. I jumped to her defense. “He will be fine once Lucy’s on!” I insisted. “If you say so,” Larissa replied doubtfully, a frown on her heavily made-up face. At that moment Bugs called out again, spinning his hind end into Gypsy. She half-heartedly lifted a back leg as warning, while continuing to graze. Larissa smirked. “And you’re STILL on that pony? Aren’t you seventeen now?” she demanded. Rules were that once a rider turned seventeen they were unable to competitively show-jump a pony, sized 14.2-hands-high and under, with the exception of pony club competitions. “Gypsy isn’t a pony. She’s 15-hands-high,” I told her, though I was sure she already knew. “Right. Well she looks like a pony,” Larissa spoke smugly. “Especially when you’re on her.” “I fit her fine!” I argued defensively. “You have long legs Adele. You should really sell that nag and look for something closer to sixteen-hands.” I scowled at her. I did have long legs, but Gypsy was wide with a large girth area, meaning my legs did not exceed her. “Well, good luck!” Larissa enthused. “You’re going to need it,” she added, glancing once again at Bugs. Lucy and I watched her wander away. Larissa waved to a girl who eagerly ran over to talk to her. “She’s right,” Lucy muttered. “I’m going to do awful. Bugs is just too anxious today.” I sighed, annoyed that Larissa had ruined Lucy’s new-found confidence. “Ignore her! You know she’ll say anything to put you down; that’s just what Larissa’s like!” “But look at him!” Lucy cried. Bugs had been digging at the ground with his front hoof, making a large hole. Wet mud dripped down his foreleg. I started to gasp; he was destroying public grounds. But I stopped myself. “Um,” I thought for a minute. “I know!” I reached into the back of the truck for the feed I’d made Gypsy, tipping some of it into a blue bucket. “This might keep him quieter than the hay,” I hoped. To both of our relief, he began to eat, pulling his head from the bucket just occasionally to look around. “Should we go over and wait until we can walk the course then?” Lucy asked. She pulled her jacket tighter around her. Wet, dark hair stuck to her face. “Yes, let’s go,” I agreed. Chapter Five Luckily the course was set appropriately for the wet ground, wide with no technical angles or sharp turns required. Lucy was expressing concern about the upright with a wooden box beneath it, painted like a brick wall. Lucy knew she needed to ride strongly and confidently into fences with fill; Bugs was still a little green and did tend to baulk at these fences. I was a little concerned about the double. It was set for two strides for a big horse. I couldn’t decide whether to push Gypsy for a long stride, or whether to collect her up and pop in a third. I decided I’d see what other riders on smaller mounts did. Bugs had finished his feed but calmed down immensely by the time we arrived back at the float. While still alert to his surroundings, he stood quietly, resting a hind leg. Lucy gave him a scratch on his head. “Thank goodness you’ve calmed down.” After what felt like forever we were heading towards the practice jumps, Lucy mounted and me walking because it was too soon to bring Gypsy out. “Relax,” I told Lucy. She sat tense from nerves on Bugs’ back. He danced beneath her, head held high. “He’ll relax if you relax.” Lucy looked at me, her eyes full of worry. Lucy had always been anxious at competitions, but today was the worst I’d seen her. Possibly both the poor weather and the new height were tipping her over the edge. Steve was up ahead, speaking to one of the judges. He’d proven very helpful today, helping to groom, plat, and tack-up both horses. The drizzle had eased off for now, but the dark sky promised more rain. They were nearing the last of those competing in the 95 centimetres class, which meant Lucy would be on soon. “I’m going to go and warm up,” she told me. She smiled faintly. “Maybe he’ll calm down once we’re actually doing something.” Bugs didn’t need any encouragement to trot; he took off like a Standardbred racing in harness. I had a lot of time to spare. I turned to face the ring, staying on both feet, the grass too wet to take a seat. Steve walked up beside me. “How is Lucy doing?” he asked. “She’s pretty anxious,” I admitted. Steve nodded knowingly. “I might go and see how she’s doing.” “Okay.” I watched a lean, grey horse pop cleanly around the course. His rider was well aware of the ground conditions and rode him accordingly. A few slick, skid marks led up to each jump, especially the wall jump- probably from horses skidding into refusal. Wet, slippery mud. I bit my lip, concerned. It was not the best day to be competing at a new height; I’d have to ride this course very, very carefully. The next rider rode on too tight of a rein, causing her beautiful Arabian to fight for his head. She sat rigid. While holding him back, she also urged him forward with her spurs. The poor little horse was clearly very confused. He had no choice other than to leap into his fences. Without the freedom to use his head over the fence, he crashed down the top rail of the first jump. The rider responded to this by tightening her reins even further, causing the Arab to throw his head further back to avoid the pressure of her hands. Fighting her abruptly, he bounced into the next fence. Naturally, she held on tighter. Head to his chest, he plunged into the air in attempt to clear the fence. While his hind hoof hit the back pole, it miraculously managed to stay up. The little horse bolted forward towards the next fence, mouth open wide against the Dutch Gag. I cringed as she sat back, her weight against his mouth. I caught a glimpse of her fearful face and wished for the horse’s sake that she’d retire. Give him his head! I wanted to scream. But of course, I didn’t. I watched with worry as they approached the third fence, an oxer. It appeared extra muddy in front of this fence. Unable to use his head and neck for balance, he slipped and slid straight into the jump. There were gasps all around. Poles clattered loudly, scattering the ground. Helpers hurried to re-build the fence. I watched, my anger growing, as the rider gave the frightened horse two hard smacks with the whip. He jumped forward, the whites of his wild eyes showing, his mouth foaming. She trotted him around, waiting for her second chance to attempt the oxer. While she did so, she lengthened her reins slightly. I could almost hear the Arab sigh with relief as his eyes softened and he lowered his head. He trotted around obediently, stretching his stiff neck down towards the ground. The bell rang and she re-tightened her reins. His head shot back up. The rider kicked him harshly into a fast, uncollected canter. He approached the fence with his ears flat against his head, tossing up mud as he ran. He again, skidded to a halt, his front hooves tapping the fence. Luckily this time the jump stayed standing. By the third attempt both rider and horse had given up. The rider merely sat there, her legs still and ineffective. The little Arabian stopped metres out from the jump. Three refusals. They were eliminated. The girl rode out. Her face red beneath her helmet, I could see that she was crying. The horse looked simply relieved to be leaving the ring and I felt relieved for him also. The fences were then put up to 1.05 metres. There were just two riders before Lucy was due on. The first rider rode too quickly, taking down three rails. Lucy appeared beside me. Bugs’ warm up had definitely transformed him- He looked half asleep! “He looks calm,” I commented, rubbing beneath his forelock. “He actually jumped really well in the warm up,” Lucy said. “I’m still so scared though. I’m sick with nerves; totally sick!” “Maybe you should have entered 95 centimetres too,” I said. “Then you would have been more relaxed for your 1.05 metres round.” “Well it’s too late now!” Lucy snapped in reply. I raised an eyebrow at her, a smile playing on my lips. I was use to Lucy’s outbursts in situations that stressed her out. “Sorry, I’m just so stressed,” she muttered apologetically. I turned back to the ring. The current horse and rider had gone clear for the first round, but when the bell went off for the jump-off, in a desperate attempt to get a fast time, he pushed his horse too fast and he slipped, taking a rail. “Lucy, go really slow. Don’t worry about time faults. A lot of people are taking rails because they’re going too quick. It’s too risky with the wet ground, both for the sake of taking rails and for the sake of Bugs,” I told her quickly. Lucy didn’t reply. Her face tight with fear, she wandered slowly into the ring. Poor Lucy. I felt bad for her. I hoped she’d do well. “You’ll be fine Lucy!” Steve called after her. Bugs had luckily remained calm- for now. He pottered around at the trot, softening into the bit as they waited for the starting bell. Ding! I crossed my fingers as Lucy sat back and asked Bugs for a canter. She collected him up and they approached the first fence. It was impossible to see Lucy’s face from here, but I could imagine she’d look terrified. Bugs on the other hand, pricked his ears, tucked up his knees and cleared the first fence confidently. He sped up on the other side, eager for the next fence. Lucy must have taken my advice for she half halted him back to a slower canter, barely faster than a collected dressage canter. He tugged at the bit slightly, fighting to go faster, but relaxed as they approached the second fence, clearing it with ease. They continued forward like this, Bugs occasionally fighting Lucy between jumps, but giving in to her when faced with each fence. They cleared the double with no problems, two perfect strides. As they turned the corner towards the wall fence, Bugs’ hind legs slipped out beneath him. “Uh oh,” Steve murmured. My heart skipped a beat. But he picked himself up and continued forward. I held my breath as they approached the wall fence. Lucy sat back defensively. “Ride him forward Lucy!” I hissed quietly. Bugs lowered his head, staring wide-eyed at the wall as he found himself being driven towards it. He started to back off, slowing his pace. But Lucy felt it. She closed her legs and urged him forward with her seat. He responded, and then it was too late for him to stop. He had to go over. He appeared to panic for a moment, switching his canter lead right before take-off. He plunged high into the air but Lucy was prepared and sat the leap well. He wasn’t touching that wall! “Yes!” I cheered under my breath. Bugs landed in a disunited canter. With no time to correct it, they were facing the last fence. Unbalanced, Bugs slipped going into the fence, nearly landing face first. I knew he was going to take a rail. The odds were not in his favour this time. But no. To my amazement, Bugs twisted his body and scraped over the fence, the rail still intact. “Wow! He’s such an honest horse!” I exclaimed to Steve. “She did well staying on that one!” Steve laughed. “Look, she’s lost one of her stirrups!” I hadn’t realized. Lucy corrected herself just in time for the second bell. She increased her speed only slightly for a safe and tidy jump-off. She trotted over, a huge grin on her face. “He was amazing!” she exclaimed happily. She dismounted and wrapped both arms around his neck. “You were both amazing!” I corrected her. “Well done champ!” Steve congratulated her, patting Bugs’ sweaty neck. “I want to do it again!” Lucy exclaimed excitedly. Steve looked at me and rolled his eyes. He turned back to Lucy. “Before you weren’t sure you wanted to do it even the one time!” “I know… But I feel differently now,” she replied, poking out her tongue. “I’m going to take Bugs back to the float. Are you going to get Gypsy now?” “I might as well. After your class there’s only five riders in 1.15 metres and six in 1.25 metres- Although I am last on,” I replied. “I thought there would be more riders.” “One of the judges said a few riders have pulled out due to weather conditions,” Steve told me. “They are probably smart,” he added chuckling. His face turned grim. “We’re lucky it hasn’t rained again for a bit, because the ground is bad enough without it.” Chapter Six Finally, the 1.15 metres class came to an end. My family had arrived to watch my round, and I had bridled and mounted Gypsy, who felt sluggish beneath me. “Come on girl! Wake up!” I laughed. I gently asked Gypsy to soften at the poll, and popped her into a trot. She did as she was told; slowly. Usually she was a forward moving ride before showjumping, excited for what lay ahead. I decided she must have spent too long standing around; or perhaps the weather was putting her off. Using more leg than usually necessary, I collected her up a bit more and asked for a canter. She obliged. But she felt different. Gypsy cantered like the Western horse she was bred to be. Asking to stretch forward and down, she cantered ever so slowly, her gait flatter than usual. The warm up area was churned up like the showjumping ring, and I wondered if she was simply being cautious to balance herself. I pointed her at one of the warm-up fences; a simple straight bar. To my relief, she picked up impulsion at the sight of the fence. Her ears pricked forward. She took off nicely but stumbled on landing and I near face-planted on her neck, grasping her mane. I’d left out a small piece of Gypsy’s mane. I often held onto it for extra balance over fences when required. It was a good way to ensure I didn’t accidentally pull on her sensitive mouth. “Larissa is in now!” Lucy came running over to me. “You’re next!” she hopped from one foot to the other. She acted like her horse as much as she looked like him. Either excitable and happy, or stressed and anxious, depending on the situation. Sometimes hanging out with Lucy was like hanging out with two different people. Disappointed to be entering my round on a bad note, I slowly followed Lucy. Larissa had gone clear and was starting her jump-off round. Her new horse was definitely impressive to watch. He had an enormous canter and a jumping technique to die for. Larissa however, always under pressure to win, was too focused on speed. Her horse slid on his feet a few times, but expertly re-gathered himself, until the last fence where Larissa rode him like her life depended on it. Sensing her determination, he excitedly put on a burst of speed, sliding a stride out. It was too late to correct himself and so he took the back rail with his front feet. Larissa rode out cursing under her breath. She dismounted and shoved the reins into the hands of a groom. “Oooh, she won’t be happy about that,” Lucy mused, just loud enough for me to hear. She looked up at me, her brown eyes sparkling. “Well. Go get ‘em!” I smiled at her. But I was nervous. Our warm-up had knocked my confidence. The dark sky looked menacing above me. A drop of rain landed on my glove. As I trotted around the jump course, I realized just how terrible the ground really was. The ground felt squishy, giving me a similar feeling to riding in deep sand. The weight of the horses had left deep hoof prints in the soft ground. The grass had been rubbed raw, a prominent line of uneven mud leading up to each fence. What was left of the grass still glistened with water. Another rain drop hit my glove. And another. I frowned as doubt clouded my mind. Is this such a good idea? It’s so slippery. Maybe I should pull out. What if I mess up? I thought. But everybody else has managed to go around safely, I argued with myself. Although, they went before me. The ground has worsened with every round. I focused on Gypsy, staring down at her darkening neck. The rain was falling rapidly now. What’s taking them so long? I asked myself. Maybe I should pull out… The bell rang. I glanced at my parents, who stared back expectantly, sheltered under a large umbrella. Lucy gave me a thumbs up. I couldn’t read Steve’s expression. I gave Gypsy the cue to canter. She obliged, this time enthusiastically, and I steered her into the first fence, holding my breath. Gypsy didn’t falter despite the ground conditions. I was so lucky to have such a careful, sure-footed horse. As we landed on the other side, all doubt escaped my mind. She cleared the next few just as nicely, her wet neck reaching up to greet me. The rain was coming down hard now, but it didn’t matter. We maintained our rhythm and she jumped each one as effortlessly as the last. Gypsy saw the double and sped up, flattening her stride. I cursed under my breath, realizing I’d forgotten to pay attention to how other riders on smaller horses took the double. I bit my lip and closed my outside rein, asking Gypsy to come back to me. “It’s too slippery,” I told her. Gypsy pulled gently against me, disagreeing with my decision. But she reluctantly slowed down. It was when we neared the fence that I realized my sweet little horse knew what she was doing. Gypsy had been going for the long stride I’d been considering earlier, and I was a fool not to have let her. “Sorry girl!” I sat and waited. I knew we were going to take down the second fence to the double and there was nothing I could do about it. But Gypsy had other ideas. I counted my striding on approach. One, two, three, four … I prepared for take-off, but to my surprise Gypsy kept going for a fifth stride. The double was right there. We were in too deep. Cringing, I sat back to ensure I wouldn’t go flying when Gypsy crashed through the jump. And I got left behind. I didn’t know how she did it. I’d never know how she did it. Somehow Gypsy sprung over, her body sailing with her front legs following. She popped me up and out of the saddle. My feet flew back deep into the stirrups. I let the reins slip through my hands to ensure Gypsy had full freedom of her head and neck. Gravity pulled me back into the saddle as her front feet hit the ground. I landed hard on her neck, grabbing the loose piece of mane as she sailed clear over the second part of the double. I slid to the side, and Gypsy slowed down allowing me to correct myself. Gypsy had just done the impossible. My hands shook violently on the reins. My heart bet wildly in my chest. “You are one crazy mare,” I said in a shaky whisper. She didn’t argue for the rest of the course. She didn’t need to. She knew she could clear the other fences from a slow rounded canter; this horse had springs in her feet. Gypsy cleared the wall and finished the round clear. She was so clever on her feet that she hadn’t slipped once. The bell for the jump-off rang and Gypsy sprang back into canter. I didn’t need to ask; she knew the second bell was the cue for to start the jump-off. She quickened her pace but I asked her to go slow. Her ears flickered towards me as she collected back up into a slow canter. I knew she’d be feeling confused. She flew over the first fence, stretching her neck out as we sailed through the air. My heart was positively soaring. She sped up again on landing and this time, I gave in to my insecurities and I let her. This horse had saved me so many times. She’d covered my mistakes, clearing rails I considered a definite goner. She’d prevented me from falling in every way a horse possibly could. She taught me something new every time we competed. She’d bought me this far… Who was I to question her? “I trust you,” I murmured. She cleared the next fence, slipping slightly on landing. However, she quickly regathered herself and carried on contently, so I continued to let her choose her pace. I felt so free. It was just Gypsy and I. Everybody else was forgotten. At the second to last jump, everything went wrong. Gypsy sped up. Her usually smooth canter turned bumpy. Her head shot up high as she bounded towards the fence, each stride jarring my back. Despite the increase of pace, everything seemed to go in slow motion. Suddenly, I could feel the rain pelting down on my back. I could hear it, thundering onto my helmet. I could feel the cold, damp water seeping through my gloves. Pouring… It was pouring… I heard voices; people talking. It wasn’t just me and Gypsy anymore. Did I hear shouting? My mind clouded over and I was hit with a wave of dread. Gypsy took the jump long, hollowing her back. She touched the rail, but it remained. She stumbled as she landed and I heard a crack, ever so quietly that I could have imagined it. That gentle sound filled me with apprehension. She scrambled back up and continued forward. Her gait so rough; her head so high; her ears so flat. I felt her body trembling just slightly as she ran. I heard someone screaming. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. The words chanted in my head, a continuous wave of anxiety. I pulled hard on one rein, struggling to turn Gypsy away from the incoming fence. But it was like she wasn’t there. Ignoring me, she continued on. We were a stride out from the final fence. It was too late to pull her out safely. Terrified, I tensed and prepared for the worst. Gypsy leaped high into the air. Up… up… up… I grasped desperately at her mane as both stirrups were lost. For a brief moment it was as though time stood still. I felt frozen in midair, high above the fence, my stomach turned over in fear. Then we plunged down. Down… down… down… She scrambled along the ground; frantic. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Gypsy seemed to vanish out from under me and I felt myself sail through the air. I landed hard on my back, the wind knocked out from inside of me. Pain shot through my body. I was too stunned to make a sound as I saw Gypsy above me; only she was falling. I was about to be squashed. Unable to move, I jammed my eyes tightly shut and waited for further pain. Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm roughly, hoisting me out of harm’s way. A moment later I felt a whoosh of cool air followed by a deafening thud as Gypsy’s body slammed onto the ground, just inches from where I lay. For a moment all was silent. My body in shock, I’d temporarily lost my sense of hearing. I was so confused. I knew everything was wrong; I knew it was bad; but I couldn’t process what had happened, or why it had happened. Then suddenly, I could hear again. “Adele! Adele, honey, are you okay?” Mum’s distressed voice. I heard squeaky footsteps as they approached me quickly through the wet mud. “Is she okay?” Lucy’s voice. So loud. I heard whispers and soft murmurs all around. I thought I heard crying. The thundering rain had lightened back down to a weak drizzle. I heard a man’s voice. “Call the vet. The horse is going to need put down,” followed by a loud gasp. That’s when I forced myself back to reality, launching myself up to a sitting position so fast that I screamed in agony. My back! It hurt so much! Such a sharp, sharp pain, all down my spine. “Lie back down,” Mum placed her hand on my shoulder, encouraging me to get back down. But I ignored her. Mum, Dad, Lucy, Natasha, Steve, and one of the fence judges stood surrounding me. Everybody else stood back, watching and murmuring sadly from the sidelines. My eyes flew to the area Gypsy had fallen. She must have gotten to her feet whilst I was in a daze for she stood a few metres back. Her ears pricked forward, she gazed around contently. I sighed with relief. She was okay. What was that man talking about? That’s when I saw it. Her right foreleg; it dangled loosely from the joint. A wave of nausea rolled over me and I swallowed hard, forcing away the taste of vomit. My body began to shake violently. This is a nightmare. This isn’t real. Then I was screaming; screaming and crying. My physical pain forgotten, I threw my body around, wailing uncontrollably. My head pounded and my vision blurred through my never-ending flow of tears. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no…” I thought that maybe if I said the word enough times, this wouldn’t be real. Then Mum was crying. She grasped me in a tight hug. “It’s okay honey, it’s okay,” she murmured. I don’t know why people say it’s okay even when it’s clearly not okay. It’d never be okay. I pulled away from her and dragged myself to my feet, waving slightly. I had to be with Gypsy. I approached her and threw my arms around her neck, sobbing loudly into her matted mane, her sweet horsey scent faint beneath the smell of wet-horse. Gypsy still looked so content and I didn’t understand why. Doesn’t it hurt? “I’m s… so sorry. I’m so sorry, so sorry, so sorry…” I was worried about the ground conditions, but I’d jumped her anyway. I’d risked her life… For what? Now she had a broken leg… And now… “You know what this means, don’t you Adele?” a voice said behind me. Dad’s voice. I turned. His voice was calm, but his eyes were wet. “The vet is on the way.” I knew this had to happen, but hearing it finalized everything, and my already broken heart shattered completely. I couldn’t handle this. “It… it’s all my fault…” I stammered. “No honey. Accidents happen,” Mum reached for me again. “It’s not your fault.” Lucy, who had vanished to the car, came back with Gypsy’s feed. “I’ll see if she wants to eat while we wait,” she said quietly, her eyes fixated on the bucket. Then she glanced quickly at me with her tear-streaked face. “I’m so sorry,” she choked out. Gypsy buried her face in the bucket, gratefully eating the feed offered. “Why doesn’t she look sore? M… Maybe it’s not as bad as it looks… Maybe we can save her,” I cried hopefully. “Her body has gone into shock. You don’t need to worry, she’s not in pain for now. But that’s a clean break. I’m sorry,” a man with shaggy dark hair answered beside me. The fence judge. “That’s right,” Dad agreed apologetically, placing his hand on Gypsy’s shoulder. “I’ll untack her,” Lucy offered. Gypsy hungrily finished her feed and tossed the bucket away. I rubbed beneath her forelock in gentle, circular motions, watching her big brown eyes soften. She sighed and lowered her head, resting her nose upon my thighs. I cried quietly. No words could describe the sadness I experienced. These were my final moments with my beloved horse; all because I took a stupid risk. Everybody stood watching in silence, lost for words. There was nothing anybody could say to make this nightmare any easier. All too soon the vet arrived- a short, wiry, little man with glasses. He drove a red truck, towing a big trailer. The trailer was to remove Gypsy’s body once she was euthanized, I knew. Once she was killed. Dead. A fresh flood of tears exploded to the surface, and I once again buried my face into Gypsy’s neck. “Such a shame,” the vet spoke in a surprisingly deep voice for his petite size. “How did it happen?” “She slipped showjumping,” Dad spoke under his breath, as though trying to stop me from hearing. I didn’t understand why. I knew she’d slipped showjumping. I knew it was all my fault. “Hmm, yes. It’s not the best day for it,” the vet replied. He stepped up beside Gypsy and I. “Is she your horse?” he asked me. I nodded without looking at him. “She’s a very nice mare,” he commented. “Not for long,” I said hastily, my voice cracking. “This happens more often than you’d think,” he said. “We should probably do this quickly. I think the pain is starting to kick in.” I gasped and grasped her tighter, afraid to let her go. “This won’t hurt her a bit. I promise. It will just be like she’s going to sleep,” the vet assured me. Except this time, she won’t wake up… I thought. Trembling, I took a step back. I didn’t ever want this moment to come, but the idea of the pain coming on made me terrified for her. I didn’t want her to suffer… I owed her that. And as I looked at her, I knew I was making the right decision; the time was now. She appeared to stand hollow, her ears drooped to the sides. Her head was lowered and her beautiful eyes looked sad; so sad. I whimpered softly, over-whelmed with guilt. “Can everybody please back away?” the fence judge called out to all those watching. “Give these guys some privacy please. Go back to your vehicles.” Mum smiled gratefully at him. I didn’t care either way. Whether there were strangers watching, or only us, we got the same result- Gypsy’s death. I stood stroking my mare, unable to speak; unable to say goodbye. As her legs waivered and collapsed beneath her, I too, fell to the ground still stroking her warm body. I lay against her, ignoring the mud seeping into my clothes, and I cried. Everybody else was forgotten once again. It was just Gypsy and I. Then it was just me, stroking the corpse of which once was my horse. The rest of the day went by in a blur. A man in a forklift had to hoist Gypsy’s body onto the trailer. I didn’t know who had arranged that. Plans had been made for her to be buried at Ridgewood stables. The rest of the competition was called off. Lucy had placed second on Bugs, but it was no longer a day worthy of celebrating. Sorry people kept glancing my way as I headed to my parent’s car; I was traveling home with them. Even Larissa had nothing rude to say as I grabbed my gear from Steve’s truck. The drive home was morbid and quiet; even Natasha didn’t speak. As soon as we arrived home I climbed the stairs to my room. I refused dinner and got into bed where I cried, occasionally falling into a light sleep to escape agony, not only emotional but physical, for my head pounded with a bad headache. I’d escape for a little bit only to wake up again and cry some more. I even managed to sleep for a straight hour and when I woke up again, just for a moment, I’d forgotten that anything bad had happened. For just a moment everything was okay, only to have the day’s events flashing back to me, horrifying me once again. The day quickly turned into night. Tossing and turning, the day’s events repetitive in my head, I somehow found a way to cry myself to sleep. Chapter Seven The sun shone through the gap in the curtains, warming my face and awakening me the next morning. I opened my eyes groggily and cursed myself for not shutting the curtains completely. I longed to close my eyes and disappear once again, to a world where yesterday was unknown to me; but the fresh pain washing over me meant that was not an option; I was wide awake. I reached over to my dresser, gasping as a sharp pain thundered down my back, and read the time on my cell phone. 9.05am. Today Gypsy would have had a day off riding as a reward for her hard work the day prior. I would have headed out to the stables, given Gypsy a small feed with all the vitamins and minerals she required, then groomed her until her coat shined. I would have spoken quietly to her as I always did, talking about absolutely anything that crossed my mind. The radio would have been playing quietly in the garage beside us. Gypsy would have stood contently, enjoying the feel of the brushes bristles gently massaging her skin. Now, Gypsy had forever off riding. Never again would her golden coat glisten. Never again would she be there to listen. Tears filled my eyes. I knew today was going to be a long and horrible day. Maybe the rest of my life would be. I lay back down; I might have been wide awake, but I felt too devastated to do anything at all. I cried until I had nothing left, then I curled into a ball and simply lay there, forcing my mind into a blank state. I longed for a drink of water and a wheat pack for my back, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed. I must have drifted back to sleep. I woke an hour later to a gentle knock on the door. Mum wandered in with a plate of pancakes and a big glass of water. “Hungry?” she asked softly. “No,” I replied, but reached for the water. How could anyone be hungry at a time like this? “Well I’ll leave these here for you. Is there anything else I can get you?” “Um… My back is still really sore,” I mumbled. “I’ll go and heat you up a wheat pack and bring you some paracetamol.” She left, re-entering the room five-minutes later to pass me two paracetamol tablets and the wheat pack. “I struggled to sleep last night,” Mum told me quietly, making me guilty that I’d managed to sleep. I placed the wheat bag onto my bed and lay down on my back so the heat was applied to the painful area. It soothed it, and I felt a mild sense of relief. Mum sat down on my bed brushing a piece of hair from out of my eyes. She sat there, simply watching me. I ignored her and closed my eyes. After a while Mum stood back up. “Let me know if you need anything,” she said. I lay there all day, Mum occasionally coming to heat up my wheat pack. I had a sense of ‘not being’ and I welcomed this as opposed to the sadness I’d felt so much of. By 6pm my stomach rumbled loudly, and guilty that I could feel hunger in my grief, I reluctantly picked up one of the now-cold pancakes. I was munching away when Lucy opened my bedroom door and peered at me. “Can I come in?” “Mm,” I mumbled in reply, propping myself up against the wall. She sat down on the bed beside me. “How are you doing?” she asked. She looked so uncomfortable, fiddling with her hands. I looked down and shrugged. “Your Mum told me to tell you we plan to have the burial tomorrow,” Lucy murmured. Sadness rushed over me, drowning my blank state of mind. I blinked back tears; I didn’t want to cry again. I wasn’t ready to face the burial of my horse; but then I’d never be ready. “I…” I tried to speak. “I don’t want to be there.” But I knew I’d go. It was my last chance to say goodbye. Lucy placed a hand on my knee and looked at me with sad eyes. “It’s not your fault. You know that, right?” I shook my head. “No Lucy. It is my fault. The ground was so wet and so muddy… so slippery.” I stared at her solemnly through tear-blurred vision. “I risked her life.” “You didn’t know… It was a freak accident; it could have happened to anyone,” Lucy insisted. “The worst part is, a moment before the bell rang, I had doubts. I had doubts Lucy; but I rode her anyway. If I’d listened to them, Gypsy would still be alive today.” A hot tear ran down my cheek and I furiously brushed it away. I hated myself. “There’s no point thinking ‘what if?’ Adele. We’re only human, and not all of our choices can be the right ones. I competed Bugs despite the grounds… So did everybody else there. Does that make us wrong too ? Am I… I mean are we all, bad people?” Lucy cried. I didn’t reply. I didn’t know how to. “It could have happened to any of us Adele…” “But it happened to me. The grounds weren’t as bad when it was your turn. By the time it was my turn, it was so much worse,” my voice cracked. Lucy sighed. “It doesn’t really matter now.” My face flushed and I glared at her. “My horse is dead , and you say it doesn’t matter now?! It will always matter Lucy! I’ll always be carrying this guilt, and I’ll always miss Gypsy! Always!” I shook my head in disbelief. How could she say that? “I… I didn’t mean that,” she stammered. “I only meant it doesn’t matter whose fault it is… It doesn’t matter what you could have done differently. She’s gone and there’s nothing that can be done to change that.” My anger was quickly taken over with the all-too-familiar feeling of sadness. The idea of Gypsy really being gone was too much to comprehend. The fact I’d never see her again hurt more than words could ever describe. Only technically, I would see her again; her body; her empty soul-less body dumped into the ground and covered with dirt. Lucy smiled at me suddenly. A sad half-smile. “Did you know she won for you?” I stared at her in confusion. “You guys got first. You won your first ever 1.25 metres class,” she explained. An un-readable expression crossed Lucy’s face. “She carried you to a win with a broken leg.” Chapter Eight I stood staring into the huge, deep hole. My family was there. Lucy and Steve were there. Michael, the owner of Ridgewood stables, stood with us too. The hot sun shone shot brightly above us. A gentle, warm breeze played gently through my brown air. The weather didn’t fit the atmosphere at all. It was a reminder that while everything felt so broken to me, the world would keep spinning; with or without my happiness. It had been a struggle to get out of bed; a struggle to face what lay ahead. My face was blotched with pink and my eyes were rimmed red. All else was silent as Gypsy’s body was lowered into the Earth. Natasha appeared unable to watch, her head buried deep into Mum’s coat. All faces were serious, with the exception of Michael who stood so contently that from his expression alone, you’d never have guessed him to be at a funeral. “Does anyone want to say something then?” Michael asked cheerfully. Too cheerfully. All eyes were on me. “I… I can’t,” I stammered, my eyes filling up with tears. “It’s okay,” Lucy whispered, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. “Anybody?” Michael asked. Silence. Then to my surprise Dad spoke up. “I will.” He shuffled closer to the grave, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He cleared his throat. “I don’t trust horses,” he started. “When we bought Gypsy for Adele I was anxious. I know horse riding can be dangerous, and I kept expecting Adele to get hurt. Over time that horse allowed me to worry less and less, because I knew that Gypsy was looking after my daughter. Adele loved Gypsy from the very first moment she saw her, and do you know what? I think that horse damn well loved her too!” Dad paused, glancing around the solemn faces. “The partnership between the two of them gave me an appreciation for horses. Thank you Gypsy, for helping and looking after my daughter. Rest in peace.” He bowed his head. My pain was mixed with love at this moment; love for my father and his kind words. Everybody repeated, “Rest in peace.” “Shall we bury her then?” Michael suggested. “Um,” I muttered. “Could I have a moment alone with her?” I asked shyly. I had to say goodbye to my beloved horse. I couldn’t merely walk away. “Do you all want to come in for a coffee?” Michael gave me a quick smile, and I smiled through my tears in appreciation. “You just come and get us when you’re ready, honey,” Mum said. I watched as everybody followed Michael towards the house, leaving me alone. I turned back to the grave and stared down at Gypsy’s lifeless body, wondering where she was now; if she was anywhere at all. I couldn’t bear the thought of her simply not existing. I knelt down beside her grave. “I’m so sorry girl. I didn’t mean for it to happen,” I whispered. “You’re crazy you know. You didn’t have to keep going for me. You won for me though. Lucy told me yesterday that you won for me. We even beat Larissa,” I told her. “But I’d be happy to never win again, if I could only keep you with me. “You are the best horse in the world. I could never, ever find a horse like you because you are one in a billion. Living without you is just too much for me to comprehend. The only thing that could ever keep me going, is the thought that one day I’ll see you again.” No longer hysterical, I felt calm, as though floating upon a lake of sadness, comforted by my own words. “I love you Gypsy. Goodbye for now.” Days passed by in a blur. I ate little, rarely left my bed, and spent my time sleeping, or flicking through images of Gypsy, our memories fresh in my mind. I lacked motivation to do anything. Life just seemed so pointless without Gypsy to ride and care for. I no longer had goals, ambitions, or a happy place. I cried on and off throughout the daytime, and thanked God for keeping her out of my dreams. One afternoon Lucy came over. “Are you ready for school next week?” “What day is it?” I asked. I’d lost track of the days. They had no meaning anymore. “Monday,” Lucy replied. “Today?” “No… School starts on Monday,” Lucy raised an eyebrow at me. “Today is Friday.” I groaned. I knew school would be starting again soon, but I hadn’t realized just how soon. “I’ll never be ready for school,” I moaned. “At least it’s only one more year,” Lucy said. “I’m not looking forward to it either.” “I just want to stay here forever,” I mumbled, yanking the duvet up over my head. Lucy reached for it, pulling it back off my face. She looked at me, her face serious. “It’s nearly been a week since Gypsy’s funeral. You should come outside and get some fresh air. It’ll make you feel better,” she insisted. I glared at her. Nothing would make me feel better. “Or, why don’t we go see a movie or something?” Lucy suggested. “We could go shopping… Or go out for tea. You need to get out of the house!” “No thanks,” I replied sharply. “How about we go and ride Bugs?” she spoke casually, rolling a piece of hair around her finger. Anger rushed over me and I struggled to push it aside. “No!” “Why not? You don’t have to jump him if you’ve lost confidence. Flat work would do him good; or you could ride him on the road and I’ll walk. I don’t mind.” “I haven’t lost my confidence!” I snapped. “I’m not riding Bugs. Not now, not ever!” Lucy looked hurt. “What’s wrong with Bugs?” “You don’t get it, do you?” I spoke carefully through gritted teeth. “I’m not riding Bugs because I’m not riding any horse ever again!” I surprised myself a little. The decision had lingered at the back of my mind since the day Gypsy died, but not only was this the first time I’d told Lucy, it was the first time I’d admitted it to myself. Lucy gasped, her eyes wide with surprise. “But riding means everything to you!” she argued. “Well it doesn’t anymore.” “What about your showjumping career?” she exclaimed. “Luckily Mum made me stay at school. For the first time ever I understand what she meant by ‘just in case.’” “But what will you do?” Lucy’s voice softened. “I have a year to figure that out.” I thought for a moment. “Maybe I’ll just work in a supermarket. What does it matter anyway?” Lucy stared at me in disbelief. I stared back, challenging her to push the subject further. She looked away and climbed slowly to her feet. “I know you’re upset about Gypsy, Adele. The thing is that she’s dead, and there is nothing you can do about it,” she spoke bluntly. “You need to get on with your life.” I looked at her in horror. “It hasn’t even been a week!” I shouted. “Gypsy was everything to me! And I killed her Lucy! I killed her!” I felt so hurt, so angry. “So forgive me if I haven’t forgotten that she ever existed after six days, Lucy!” I finished, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting her,” Lucy said calmly. A small half-smile crossed her face. “Just remember, she is just a horse.” With that, Lucy turned the door handle and stepped out of my bedroom, leaving me in a state of shock, for I did not know Lucy could be so cold-hearted. I puffed up my pillow and snuggled into it. I felt too furious to cry, so I lay there trembling with anger until eventually I calmed down. I don’t need Lucy anyway, I told myself. The truth was, deep down I needed her more than anything. Chapter Nine Monday morning arrived far too quickly. “You’re still not up! You need to get up right now,” Mum insisted. “You’re running late!” I groaned and shuffled deeper beneath my sheets. The truth was, I wasn’t tired. I was simply not ready to face school, nor the people. I wasn’t ready to face discussing what happened to Gypsy with my school friends. I wasn’t ready to face Lucy… Mum yanked the blankets off me, and I was hit with a wave of cool morning air. I looked at her with pleading eyes. “Please don’t make me go,” I begged her. “Please.” Mum sighed. “You’ve been in bed for over a week now. I think today will be good for you.” “I’m not ready; I’ll break down about Gypsy in front of everybody!” I cried. “I’m sure people will understand,” Mum replied, throwing me my school uniform. “Imagine how much worse it’d be turning up to school days after everybody else has already started.” I knew Mum was not going to give in. I rolled off the bed onto the floor, and began to slowly get dressed, starting with my school socks. Not long after, I was hustled into the car, a piece of banana cake in my hand. I had no time for a real breakfast. I didn’t even have time to brush my hair. But I didn’t care; my appearance held no significance to me. I entered the classroom just as the bell rang. I had English first and my new English Teacher, Mrs. Baird, was writing her name on the whiteboard. Lucy was in my English class and I spotted her in the front row, a text book on the desk in front of her. She glanced briefly at me before returning to her text book. I sighed, and chose a seat in the middle row next to a quiet girl named Anna. I didn’t feel like conversing with anyone. The day dragged by slowly and I tried desperately to focus on my school work, but never-ending thoughts of Gypsy crossed my mind, distracting me. When the bell rang for lunch, I headed outside. It was another nice Summer day. I headed towards our usual lunch spot, a couple picnic tables shadowed by a large tree. I spotted my two friends, Danielle and Izzy. Between them sat Lucy. I hesitated, then continued towards them. Danielle and Izzy were my friends too. A little conflict between Lucy and I wasn’t going to keep me away from them. I did not like the idea of eating lunch alone- I still had some dignity. As I neared, I heard Lucy and Danielle’s conversation. “I’ve got Bugs on this new formula to help him build muscle,” Lucy was telling Danielle. “I swear I can already see an improvement, and he has only been on it for a week!” Danielle nodded. “That sounds really good.” Danielle, like us, loved horses. She didn’t own her own horse yet, but got fortnightly lessons and went horse trekking on a gelding named Casper at her auntie’s farm. Izzy looked up from the orange she was peeling. “Hi Adele,” she greeted me. “Did you enjoy your holidays?” I felt surprised that Lucy hadn’t filled the two of them in about Gypsy. Danielle gave me a quick smile, then turned her attention back to Lucy. Lucy didn’t even glance at me. “Unfortunately no,” I replied honestly. “At least not the second half.” Izzy looked at me questionably and I quickly explained what had happened, leaving out the part that it was all my fault. My heart lurched as I went through the story again, and I wondered how many times I’d have to tell it in this lifetime. “I’m so sorry!” Izzy cried. She was genuine, but I knew she wouldn’t truly understand. Izzy didn’t like horses. She wasn’t a fan of many animals at all for that matter. She feared practically anything that moved, and obsessed her life around her boyfriend. Danielle who had overheard me, threw her hand to her mouth. “Oh man. I couldn’t bear it if Casper died. That sucks! That really, really sucks.” I nodded. What was I supposed to say to that? Danielle wasn’t great with words. Not much of a talker, she was the listener in all of her friendships. Danielle was the type of person who appeared to lack emotion; nothing fazed Danielle much. She brushed off her repetitively bad grades, and never let her solid figure or face of freckles get in the way of asking out a guy she fancied. She was relaxed and full of confidence, and I envied her for that. Despite appearing careless, she was deep down a gentle soul who loved horses and animals of all shapes and sizes. Once when I went to squash a big spider on my desk in class, Danielle had calmly said, “Wait,” and had cupped her hand around the spider, placing it on a tall branch outside the window. Myself and half of the class were practically freaking out. I personally could not bring myself to hold a spider! Lucy who had remained quiet during my explanation of what happened to Gypsy, quickly returned to her conversation about Bugs’ diet, and giving me an apologetic smile, Danielle leaned forward to listen. Both offended and relieved at how quickly the subject of Gypsy’s death was dropped, I pulled a bag of chips out of my bag. “What did you do over the holidays?” I asked Izzy. “Not much,” she replied. Izzy appeared deep in thought, so I didn’t push for further conversation. I sat eating, my mind contentedly blank. Admittedly it was nice to be outside under the sunshine. “Do you want to come?” Danielle asked me suddenly. “Huh?” I looked at her. “Lucy and me are going on a trek at my auntie’s farm. She’s bringing Bugs, and you could ride my auntie’s other horse, Fudge. She’s bay with a blaze and…” “Adele doesn’t ride anymore,” Lucy interrupted. Danielle appeared lost for words. She unwrapped a muesli bar, and Lucy jumped into another conversation, saving Danielle from having to respond. While school hadn’t been at horrible as I thought it’d be, I was still happy to get home. Mum was sitting on the couch talking on the phone when I walked in. “Uh huh,” she murmured into the receiver. “Oh, I will be! Thank you very much for this information.” Mum turned to face me as she spoke. “I’ll be in touch. Bye.” She pushed the end button and stared at me thoughtfully, chewing her bottom lip. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked. Mum sighed. “That was a lady who saw our incident at Showjumping Champs,” she told me. She stood up and hooked the landline to its charger. I waited patiently for her to continue. “She happens to know the people we bought Gypsy from.” Mum sat back down and stared hard at me. “I’m happy to inform you that it was not your fault that Gypsy broke her leg. I am unhappy to discover we were conned.” I took a seat across from her and reached into my bag for my uneaten sandwich. “It’s good to see you eating. You’ve lost weight; anymore and you’ll vanish completely,” Mum commented. “Anyway,” she began again. “Gypsy had a paddock accident with the previous owners which resulted in a large crack to her leg. They gave her time to recover, and she did faster than expected. They then put her in foal to give her further time to strengthen that leg. They were strictly informed by the vet that while she should be sound enough for dressage and hacking, they were to no longer jump her. Obviously they ignored the vet’s advice. They show-jumped her a couple more times then sold her to us without mentioning the injury.” My mouth fell open. A sense of relief washed over me for I was no longer to blame; however, overwhelming that was the hatred I felt towards the previous owners. “The lady on the phone, Beth, her name is, she said this is not the first time they’ve lied about a horse for sale.” Mum ran her hands through her hair. She appeared tired; defeated perhaps. Her facial features showed no sign of the anger I felt within. “I should have got her vet checked,” Mum added. I stared at her, temporarily speechless. “Is… Is there anything we can do?” “Well, Beth did say she has a few people to back us up. Beth and the old owners aren’t the only people who knew about Gypsy’s cracked leg; and I did one good thing when we bought her.” Mum smiled at me. “I took a screenshot image of Gypsy’s advert. In court that will come in very handy because nowhere in that advert does it mention her injury. It also outlines her as a showjumper.” She winked at me. “I think we have a good chance of winning this case. It’d be nice to have the money to help your father and me out with buying you a new horse.” Court? Money? A new horse? “They deserve to be caught out for their lies,” I said slowly. “And you should definitely try and get your money back. But I don’t want another horse.” Mum looked surprised. Then she quickly straightened up. “I’m sick of you moping around in your bedroom. Horses have kept you out of trouble and given you something to be happy about for the majority of your life. And you were doing so well on Gypsy; you can’t just give up,” she insisted. “Now that you know Gypsy’s death was not your fault, you don’t need to feel guilty. There’s no reason for you not to get another horse.” Her blue eyes flashed. “Plus, you have a showjumping career to follow.” I threw my arms, exasperated. It always seemed when you finally agreed with someone, they changed their views on the situation. Mum was the one who had spent the last few years doubting the possibility of a showjumping career. “Unless you can bring Gypsy back from the dead, I don’t want a horse!” I hissed. I spun on my heel and marched up the stairs. “There’s an envelope on your bed for you by the way!” Mum called out from behind me. The envelope was hand addressed to me in tidy, linked writing. I ripped it open and discovered a card. A palomino foal was pictured on the card, with the words, ‘Sorry for your loss’ printed in pink. Inside the card was a red first place ribbon. The inside of the card read in that same perfect, linked writing: Dear Adele. I’m truly sorry for the loss of your horse. She was one incredible jumper. I promised I would pass your ribbon from Showjumping Championships onto you. Larissa xx. I closed the card, surprised. I wondered why Larissa had collected my ribbon, and I wondered what had changed in her to send me a card. I thought Larissa hated me. I straightened out the ribbon; the very last ribbon Gypsy and I would ever win together. I lay down on the bed, stretching out my tired legs. I had a lot of new information to process. Chapter Ten It was Friday afternoon. The week had consisted of less tears over Gypsy, although the longing for her remained. I wasn’t getting over the loss of my beautiful horse; more so, I was reluctantly learning to live without her. What choice did I have? Things were still awkward between Lucy and I. We spoke only if necessary, usually ignoring each other among our small group of friends. I missed her, but I still felt offended by her words. I’d just gotten home from school. Mum and Dad sat side by side on the couch, talking quietly. “Where’s Natasha?” I wondered. “She’s at a friend’s house,” Mum replied. I stared hard at my parents. Usually Dad was still at work, and the way they sat on the couch with the television switched off was unusual. Mum smiled cheerfully at me. Dad looked nervous. “What’s going on?” I asked suspiciously. “We have a surprise for you,” Mum replied. “Let’s go now,” she said, glancing at Dad, who nodded. They got to their feet and headed towards the door, Dad’s car keys dangling from his closed fist. I held back, nervous. “Where are we going?” Mum grinned. “It’s a surprise.” I considered refusing to follow until they explained where we were going. But curiosity got the better of me. And I’d already lost Gypsy; what was left to be afraid of? I climbed into the back seat of Dad’s car. We drove in silence. Within minutes we were pulling into the driveway of Ridgewood stables. I felt too stunned to utter a sound. I didn’t understand why we were here. I looked out the window, gazing across towards where Gypsy was buried. My heart leapt in my throat. Dad bought the car to a stop. That’s when I saw her. Frozen in shock, I stared ahead, struggling and failing to understand what was going on. She’s dead, I told myself. I was there when they put her to sleep. I watched her body lower into the grave. Her lifeless body… I had convinced myself there was nothing to fear, but I was terrified, my body rigid. There in the distance stood Gypsy. Alive. She was alive. Alive… Alive… Then I realized. I was an idiot; a fool. Gypsy couldn’t be alive. I knew very well that Gypsy was dead. I let my breath out in one big whoosh. Mum and Dad exited the car, and silently I followed. As we neared Gypsy’s look-alike, I noticed this horse had only three stockings, unlike Gypsy who had four. His narrower blaze veered off to the left unlike Gypsy’s, and he was much slighter in build; a more athletic type. As we reached the gate, I realized this horse also stood nearly a hand taller than Gypsy. The horse held his head over the gate, poking his nose out towards us. He had a cheeky expression on his face that practically begged you to pet him. I ignored him and spun angrily to face my parents. “Why are we here?” I demanded. Dad didn’t reply. Instead he scratched the horses nose. The horse had an ‘in your face’ personality and appeared to lap up the attention. Mum appeared oblivious to my unhappiness. “Honey, this is Coby.” “So?” I replied bluntly. “He is yours.” “I don’t want him,” I snarled at her. My face grew hot; I felt furious. “I told you I didn’t want a horse. How could you buy me a horse when I clearly told you I didn’t want one?! What’s worse, is that you chose a horse that looks like Gypsy as if that would make everything okay. This isn’t Gypsy! He will never replace Gypsy!” Mad and upset, I collapsed onto the grass and let out a sob. I couldn’t believe my parents would do this to me. Nobody understood how I felt, and I felt so alone in my grief. “But Adele,” Mum kneeled down beside me. “You don’t understand.” “No. You don’t understand! I don’t want this horse! I don’t want any horse!” I cried. I glanced up at Coby. He resembled Gypsy far too much. “I don’t want a horse that reminds me of Gypsy every time I look at him; and I don’t want to ride anymore!” I swallowed hard, trying to force away the overwhelming emotion that filled me within. Dad left Coby leaning against the gate. “What your mother is trying to say is, this is Gypsy’s son.” I furrowed my brow in confusion. “Huh?” “We were planning to take Gypsy’s previous owners to court. I spoke to them on the phone. To say the least, they weren’t happy and tried to talk down her injury as though it was nothing. After much debate they offered us Coby on the condition we didn’t take them to court,” Mum explained. “Coby is Gypsy’s son. He is five-years-old. He is broken in but hasn’t done a lot, so you’ll need to produce him. They did say that he is by a big Thoroughbred stallion making him Three-parts-Thoroughbred, and apparently he has shown tremendous jumping talent.” “They reckoned the stallion was a showjumper too,” Dad added. Mum nodded in agreement with Dad. “He’s a better height for you too,” she commented. “How can you even believe a thing these people have told you?” I scoffed. “For all we know, he has a hidden injury too.” “Now, we did learn something Adele,” Dad said. “We had him vet checked.” “Well you wasted your time,” I told them. “Because I’m not keeping him.” “Think about it honey; he’s just perfect for you!” Mum gushed. “He’s very friendly too,” Dad added, stroking Coby’s face once again. I couldn’t meet the eyes of either of my parents. I turned towards the car. “I’d like to go home now.” That evening, I headed down to the kitchen for a drink. Mum sat at the kitchen table reading. She glanced up from her magazine. “Lucy will be looking after Coby in the meantime,” she stated casually. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I hadn’t told Mum that Lucy and I weren’t on speaking terms. Next week at school would be very awkward. I was not looking forward to seeing Lucy. Not at all. Chapter Eleven Like a coward, I avoided Lucy entirely. I spent my lunch times in the school library, flicking through books that I’d never dream of reading. Previously the only books I enjoyed reading were horse novels, but I had no interest in reading those anymore. I’d fallen into a cycle. At school I’d work my very hardest in class, going straight upstairs to my room after school. I ate my dinner alone in my room, lost in my thoughts. Thoughts of Gypsy and now Coby would enter my head continuously, and I’d struggle to block them out. My lack of a life meant I didn’t exactly have much else to think about. I thought about Lucy too. I wondered if we’d ever go back to normal. At night, I’d fall asleep easily. While my dreams were still free from Gypsy, Coby entered them a couple of times in ways that made no sense, my unconscious mind expressing the guilt that lurked within. But you told them you didn’t want a horse. It’s their fault, not yours, I’d tell myself. Sometimes I dreamed I was with Lucy. We were content in my dreams; the argument had never occurred. Usually a year rushed by too quickly, yet the last few weeks felt like a lifetime. So much had changed in so little time. I was still processing all of the change and I felt unsure of what to do next. So far, my plan was to survive the rest of the school year; then I’d go to university, or perhaps go straight out in the workforce. I hadn’t a clue about what I wanted to do as a career. I’d move out of home, and there, I could sit up in my room grieving all I wanted without disturbance. Was I depressed? I didn’t know. Lucy and I had always planned to flat together after high school; it was something we both looked forward to. We’d always discussed the late nights we’d spend together, eating junk food and watching movies. We planned to take turns driving us to our horses where we’d spent numerous hours riding together, like we always did. We agreed that if either of us ended up in a relationship, that we’d never let it get in the way of our friendship. I found that easy to promise as while I’d had crushes on boys, and one relationship with a guy named Jarred for a few months last year, I was too busy obsessing over horses to obsess over a boy. Lucy had had numerous ‘boyfriends’, but the longest relationship she’d managed to have was only about three weeks. Now, I was obsessing over a horse that no longer breathed, and I didn’t have Lucy. I wondered for the first time in my life if finding a boyfriend would help me to live my life without horses. It was a five weeks after Gypsy’s death. I still thought about her constantly, and although I still cried for her some nights, the pain was no longer so fresh, and my sadness was lined with memories that made me smile instead of cry. Lucy and I were still barely speaking, and my parents hadn’t even mentioned Coby to me. I assumed Lucy was still caring for him. I could only assume my parents had made the decision to sell him by now, although I didn’t care to browse online to see if he was listed. Part of me just couldn’t bear to know. I still had a guilty conscience as I knew deep down my parents were trying to help me, not hurt me. Beyond that, there was something else I couldn’t explain. The night prior when Coby visited me in my dreams, I’d ridden him. In my dream I had no resentment, nor fear. I mounted him as though he’d been my horse forever, and we took off cantering around the arena, his gait like a rocking horse. In my dream I’d felt happy. I was enjoying myself immensely. I faced him towards a huge jump, bigger than I’d ever jumped Gypsy. We were approaching it, me waiting in anticipation. Just before his hooves left the ground, I’d woken up, annoyed at myself for dreaming of riding. Tonight, I was having another night where I couldn’t fall asleep. Luckily nights like these were the minority of my nights. I’d looked through my photo album numerous times, bringing each image of Gypsy to life in my head. I decided that next week, I’d get printed copies and make a collage of her for my wall. Gosh, I missed her so much! Being a Saturday, I wasn’t too worried that I couldn’t sleep, but I was bored and had no reason to stay awake. I wished Gypsy was alive so that I could visit her. I imagined touching her warm body; running my hands over her fine Summer coat, tainted black in the darkness. I could almost smell her, the scent of horse; the scent of life. The thought of standing next to Gypsy nearly exceeded my imagination now. It was hard to believe I’d ever been that close to her at all. I pulled off my shorts, stripping down to my underwear and a singlet, and slid under the covers. I rolled onto my side, reaching for light switch, planning to simply wait for sleep to come. My arm brushed the book on my bedside table. The Horse Whisperer. I was halfway through it and hadn’t read any further since Gypsy had passed away. My hand hovered over it. I didn’t want to read about horses; I was trying to leave that part of my life behind me. But I was curious to the know the ending, and the night would be so long if I simply just waited for sleep to find me. With a sigh of defeat, I picked up the book and began to read. I began to finally feel drowsy only a few chapters away from the end of the book, but I had become engrossed in the story, so I fought to stay awake. I was too close now. When finally, I read the last page, I didn’t go to sleep. I sat up in bed and ran over the storyline in my head. In the book, Grace, a thirteen-year-old girl, and her friend, end up in an accident on their horses when faced with a large truck. Grace’s horse, Pilgrim, rears up in front of the truck, tossing Grace to safety. Unfortunately, Grace’s friend and her horse do not make it. Grace survives with the amputation of one leg, and her horse, Pilgrim, is still alive, but physically in a bad state and mentally disturbed from the accident. The vets encourage Grace’s mother to put Pilgrim to sleep; but her mother refuses to because she feels he’s required to help Grace to be happy once again. Grace is depressed, angry, and shut-down from the accident. She encourages her mum to put Pilgrim to sleep, but again, her mother refuses to. Grace rebels against her mother; she has no intention to ride again and feels like Pilgrim would be better off euthanized. Despite this, when Pilgrim is back to a physically healthy state, Grace’s mother drives Grace and Pilgrim across the country to a horse whisperer. In a nutshell, over time the horse whisperer mentally heals Pilgrim. Pilgrim and Grace learn to trust one another again, and Grace rides him, happy for the first time since the accident. The character, Grace, reminded me of myself in a way. My friend didn’t die, nor did her horse. I still had both legs. But I was angry and I guess you could say a little shut down. I didn’t want to ride, but my parents were convinced it’d help me to move on and be happy again. What if they were right? Chapter Twelve I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. I felt lighter somehow. The sun lit up the curtains; it was another nice day. Summer had been living up to its expectations this year. I pulled on my shorts from yesterday, and a black t-shirt, and headed downstairs. Natasha sat at the kitchen table with crayons and a colouring-in book. She hummed a tune as she coloured. Mum lay on the couch watching some talk show on T.V, and I assumed Dad was still in bed. Mum glanced over her shoulder at me. “Did you wet the bed?” she joked. “It’s 9am, what are you doing already up?” I just shrugged and poured myself a bowl of Rice bubbles. “ I’m going over to play with Jenny today,” Natasha boasted, as if I’d care. “We have to check with Jenny’s mum first, honey,” Mum called. “Cool,” I mumbled. I hurriedly gulped down my cereal. “I’m going for a drive,” I told Mum. Mum smiled, probably happy that I wasn’t spending the day in bed for once. “Are you going to see Lucy?” she asked. “Uh… Yeah,” I lied. I slipped out the front door before she could ask any further questions.   I was relieved to find Ridgewood stables empty. Even Andrew’s car wasn’t in the houses driveway. Crickets chirped in the distance. I spotted Coby grazing where I’d met him in the front paddock, his golden coat shinning. I felt a pang of sadness, for in the distance he still could have been Gypsy. I headed over to the tack shed and opened the door, where I was greeted with the sweet scent of horses and leather. I inhaled deeply, a sense of security overwhelming the sadness deep inside. I felt at home among the saddles and bridles. Like a wild bird set free from captivity, I felt where I belonged; and I wondered how I ever believed I could stay away. I reached for the halter and lead rope, hesitating as I realized it was last on Gypsy’s face. That’s when I noticed a new-looking blue halter and lead rope hanging right beside it with a new grooming kit below. I realized my parents must have bought them for Coby, and I felt grateful for that. I grabbed both the halter and lead, and the grooming kit, and stepped back outside into the warm summer air. It was going to be a hot day. Coby nickered and wandered over to the gate when he saw me coming. He appeared happy when I slipped on his halter, almost relieved for some attention. Coby had been kept paddocked alone, and I wondered why Lucy hadn’t put him in with Bugs. I stroked the blaze on Coby’s nose, narrow compared to Gypsy’s thick one, which was the width of nearly her face. I tied him loosely to a piece of twine on the gate and stood back to look at him properly for the first time. Coby looked at me with interest. He had a more defined head than Gypsy, daintier to match his finer frame. He had a well-muscled, arched neck on sloping shoulders. He had the higher wither and long legs of a Thoroughbred, and a short back, finishing off with the large and strong hindquarters of a Quarter horse. Overall, he had taken more to the Thoroughbred side of his breeding, the opposite to Gypsy. He was a nice type, standing approximately 15.3-hands-high. He was certainly a picture to look at. I walked back over to Coby, who sniffed at my leg. I noticed that two of his white hooves were lightly cracked, and noted to arrange for him to get shod. I unzipped the grooming bag and pulled out a soft body brush. The ground was dry and Coby was already clean. Coby, the definition of ‘friendly’, kept turning his head around to look at me as I gently brushed his summer coat. He then stretched, pulling against the lead rope, and took the brush in his teeth. I gasped in surprise as he pulled the brush from my hands. The strange animal nodded his head up and down, the brush bouncing from the bristles as he went. “Hey, give that back!” I laughed, grabbing for the brush. But Coby tossed it over the gate, causing me to laugh harder. I decided to forget the brush for now. I untied Coby and opened the gate, leading him down towards the arena. Coby walked excitedly beside me, a spring in his steps. Luckily, unlike Bugs, he had the training and respect to stay at my shoulder despite his eagerness. I stopped at the tack shed, and holding the rope by its end I stepped in, reaching for my lunge line. To my surprise, Coby decided to walk in after me, his head nearly hitting the top of the doorway. I smiled and backed him out. “Well at least you’re brave!” It was proving impossible not to like Coby’s full-on personality. Once in the arena, I hooked the lunge line to Coby, and using my arm, I sent him off around me. He strode out, gazing with interest around the arena. I gave a gentle tug on the lunge lead, encouraging him to bend to the inside. Without a bit in his mouth, Coby ignored the cue and continued to walk quickly around me, distracted by his surroundings. I took a different approach and asked him to trot. He rushed in his gait at first, circling around me in an uncontrolled manner. I calmly asked him to slow down, and after a few attempts, he obliged. It was then I could see that he had an impressive, elastic trot; balanced for his five years of age. His canter was large with round and bouncy, ground-covering strides. He’d obviously inherited his movement from his father. After I’d lunged him on both reins, I was quite impressed. I kept glancing over at the jumps, my curiosity begging me to see how he jumps. The previous owners had claimed he had a big jump, but after the secrets they held about Gypsy, who could know if their words were true. Beyond the curiosity I was a little worried that Coby might not be a jumper at all. I’d finally decided that I couldn’t live a life without horses; I couldn’t live a life out of the saddle, and with that, my heart was in showjumping. I wasn’t ready to be disappointed. I pulled Coby in. He lowered his head and I scratched him beneath his forelock. “Can you jump?” I whispered. I slowly lead him towards the jumps. I decided I’d simply see how he reacted. The first step was to see if he’d even seen a pole before, let alone been jumped for real. As we neared, he quickened his pace, ears forward with interest. Beneath his pricked ears, his eyes bulged in excitement, or perhaps uncertainty. He snorted softly, blowing warm air against my arm. “Have you seen poles before, boy?” I asked softly. Coby cautiously lowered his head, sniffing at the first pole. Then he lifted his feet and followed me over it. I petted his neck, then stood back, allowing him to lunge at walk over the pole. He did this happily without another glance. When he broke into a trot, I let him. He trotted over the pole, lifting his feet carefully, then veered sideways, rudely tugging against me. “Hey!” I cried. I gave the lunge-line a quick jab, and he gave in to the pressure, coming around to the pole once again. This time he started to canter after the pole, and again, he pulled hard against my arm. Annoyed, I tugged back, glancing over to the direction he was persistent to go to. There were no horses in that direction, nor was the gate we’d came in; there was no reason for him to be acting like this. All that stood in the direction he wanted to go was a couple of jumps. When he did it a third time, I considered grabbing a bridle from the tack shed. With a bit in, I’d have more control of him. I knew if I let him away with this behavior, he’d continue to do it. I decided first to change what we were doing to give him a chance to think, rather than predict exactly what was expected of him. With a bit of extra force than preferred, I managed to bring him to a halt. Leading him, I carried another pole and set it in front of the first one so that Coby would have two in a row to trot over. I then lunged him in the opposite direction to before. Coby willingly trotted over the poles. Ears forward, eyes bright, he appeared to be enjoying himself, which was a positive sign. He was very careful with his feet and was yet to touch a pole. However, as before, he proceeded to tug sideways towards the other jumps. I thought for a moment. Pushing him on, I was prepared for the next round. As he cleared the poles, I loosened the lunge line and stepped towards him, this time encouraging him towards the other jumps. It was my choice now, and he more than willingly obliged. He eyed up the little cross bar, and appearing keen with not an ounce of uncertainty, I allowed him to line up to the jump. Coby broke into a slow, but impulsive canter. He was ready. Taking off at exactly the right moment, Coby tucked his knees tightly to his chest and sailed into the air, much, much higher than was necessary to clear the small cross-bar. Stretching out his neck, he showed a relaxed, easy technique in behind, and landed smoothly on the other side. He cantered around me and over the jump once again. I stood, gob-smacked for this horse could fly, and over that little fence he could have easily been mistaken for Gypsy. Again, he showed the jump of a true athlete, continuing on to jump the fence again. He needed no encouragement from me. Coby was jumping from free will, and appeared to be having the time of his life while doing so. “Wow!” a familiar voice said from behind me. I jumped slightly in surprise and spun around to see Lucy, her eyes wide in amazement. “Is he impressive or what?!” she added. I spoke softly to Coby, and reluctantly he came back to a walk. I gradually shortened the lunge-line, allowing him to walk in a small circle around me to cool off. I was so happy with Coby that I temporarily forgot Lucy and I hadn’t been talking. “He’s amazing!” I exclaimed. “He has what it takes.” “He has what it takes for what?” Lucy wondered. “I think he may have what it takes to take me to the top! He can help me achieve my dream.” I was mesmerized in the moment. Lucy raised an eyebrow, then a big grin broke out on her face. “You’re back!” she cried. I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly lost for words. Lucy too, shoved her hands in her pockets and stared at the ground. She peeked up at me. “I’m sorry Adele. I’ve been really unfair to you. I guess I just wasn’t sure how to handle Gypsy’s death or your grief.” Lucy’s eyes filled with tears and she wiped them away with a sleeve, fixating her gaze on the ground once again. “I should have tried to be more understanding; I should have been there for you… I’ve been selfish, and a really horrible friend. I’m so sorry.” Lucy’s words were true. She had been a little selfish, and she hadn’t been a very good friend; but I knew it must have been hard for her too, and the apology was sincere, so I forgave her immediately. “I’ve really missed you,” I admitted. “I’ve missed you too. So much.” Lucy replied. “Thank you for looking after Coby,” I told her. And I meant it. I was glad now that my parents had gotten him for me. In a way, I felt like a part of Gypsy lived on in him. “It’s fine! Your parents knew you’d come around. And so did I,” Lucy smiled at me. “Also, I didn’t have to do much. I basically just had to put his cover on when the weather was bad.” I realized in my distraction that Coby had stopped. He stood, staring at us as though waiting for his next command. I giggled. “Sorry boy.” I asked him to come in and rubbed his blaze, mixing stray white hairs into his chestnut coat. “I’m so happy that we’re friends again,” Lucy murmured. “Who said we’re friends again?” I joked. Then I added seriously, “I’m glad too. We have lots of adventures to live. You, Bugs, me, and Coby.” Lucy nodded vigorously. “We sure do! In fact, we should ride together tomorrow. You can have your first ride on Coby!” I stared into Coby’s big, brown eyes. “How does that sound Coby? We’d better do some dressage,” I said slowly. “It’s important for you to learn… But after that, maybe we could try a jump because I know you’ll love that! Your mother loved to jump too. She was very good at it just like you. The last time I rode her, she jumped so high. She took a leap for the sky.” My eyes filled with tears, but this time it didn’t hurt so much. I’d found my silver lining. I stroked Coby’s neck softly, and gazed above at the blue and cloudless sky. “And she made it.” Publication Date: August 15th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-nq2a159b4581b75

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-kala-spruill-keep-running/

kala spruill, makala spruill Keep running Game on My typical teenage life changed this year. I graduated high school and planned on going to college. I was 19 but the world had other plans for me.... Last year I witnessed my friend Everleenas death. It was a robbery gone wrong. I just hope this year is better.  I was sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend Killian. I felt sick today and so I was cuddling with him on the couch.  "I am going to go upstairs and go to bed", I said.   "Okay I will check on you later", Killian said. I kissed him on his cheek before I swaddled my way upstairs. Once I made my way up the stairs I crawled into bed. I then pulled the covers over my body and relaxed. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up Killian was beside me wathcing t.v.  "Can you go get some medicine from the store for my stomch?", I asked.    "Sure", Killian said as he kissed my forehead and threw the covers back.   He then slipped on his white nike flip flops. Then he grabbed the keys and made his way downstairs. I heard the door shut as my eyes shifted to the t.v. I was watching some weird t.v show. It's pretty sad that I didn't know what my own boyfriend was watching I know but ya. I wanted some sprite so I threw the covers back and slipped on my slippers. I shuffled my way downstairs to the kitchen. I grabbed the handle to the refridgerator and opened the door and grabbed the sprite. I shut the refridgerator. I jumped,  I was absolutely horrified by who I saw. It was him. The guy from Everleenas murder. He was in a skii mask. This made my heart drop and made me drop the sprite.    "Get away from me", I said as I grabbed a knife. Just as quickly he snatched it out of my hand slicing it. I ran up the stairs tumbing on every single stair. I run to the bathroom and shut and lock the door behind me. I heard him make his way upstairs. He tried opening the door and when it wouldn't open he kicked it in. Wood flew everywhere making me blink.  "Get back", I said as I pulled out my pocketknife. Then he grabbed that from me too.  "Ahhh", I said as the knife slit my hand. He started slashing at my clothes, my hair, and eveything. Then he grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head back and forcing it into the ground. He did this 7 times. Once  he stopped I notcied that my nose and mouth were bleeding. Then I got up and tried rushing past him and he grabbed me by my shirt and threw me against the wall. I hit my leg on the toilet seat knocking the air out of me as my mouth hit the ground. He then rushed over to me and grabbed me by my hair and threw me against the window. I hit my head on the window  as glass was scattered everywhere. My vision was blurry but I could just barely see him walk away. I let out a sigh. I hope killian will be home soon I thought as I tried to get up. I couldn't move my leg though so I couldn't get up. I looked down at my leg and there was a piece of glass still in it making my leg bleed. So I reached down and pulled it out of my leg. Then I let my head fly back onto the ground when I let my body relax. Then I noticed blood rushing everywhere areound my head too. 10 minutes later I heard the door open and shut downstairs.  "Jessica I am home", Killian shouted from downstaris.  "Kil...ian", I said as I heard him rush up the stairs. He was franticallly looking for me. He then appeared into the doorway and He looked terrified and worried. He first noticed all of the blood.  "What the hell happened?", he asked as he helped me up.  "It was him", I said. "The guy from Everleenas death" So even though Killian was willing to take risks to protect me from this guy. There is always a limit. So what this guy did crossed the line. To Killian this was game on.  What a life  I was all bandaged up in the hospital from blood loss.  I couldn't leave until tomorrow. I didn't see Killian in the room when I woke up. I looked around the room and the t.v was on. I had some type of tray cart on my right with food on it but I was way too worried about Killian to eat right now.  Then suddenly I turned to the door because it had opened and shut. It was Killian.  "Hey your up", he said as he cautiously approached me.  "Ya can you get the doctor my head hurts", I said.  "Ya sure" He kissed my forehead and then he was out of the room. Then like a minute later the door opened and shut.  "Hey jessica we ran some tests and everything and we heard you have been puking a lot and everything and I want to know if you would let us do an ultrasound.", the dr said.  "Sure", I said as the doctor moved my bed into the ultrasound room. He grabbed the hand piece thing. He then lifted up my shirt and he put the gel on my stomach. It was cold. He then moved the thing around and it showed up on the screen.  "Jessica look", he said. I looked and I saw it. No freaking way! I thought.  " Jessica your pregnant", he said as he wiped the gel off and put my shirt down.  "How many months?", I asked. "3", he said.  "Okay take me back to my room I would like to talk to Killian alone", I said as the doctor pushed my bed back into my room and left.  "What the hell this is bad timing I don't know if we can do this", I said to killian.  "We can Jessica", he said to me. As he grabbed my hand and entwined his fingers into mine and put his hand on my stomach.  I don't exactly know how this happened. It only could have happened one night when we were at a party and we got drunk and ya....... So I don't know how this will turn out this really was a bad time for this to happen. But you know what they say everything happens for a reason. We will see how this will play out.  Me and killian layed down on the bed together and he put his arm around my waist. We fell asleep like that. Not everything in the world is horrifying.    Complicated I walked into the kitchen. My mom and dad were standing there talking to 2 other guys. My moms brown hair shinging like a star.  Then out of nowhere one of them pulled out a knife and stabbed my dad in the lower abdomen. He immediately dropped to the floor. His forever blank eyes starring back at me. Mom bolted but just as quickly was caught by her hair and stabbed then fell to the floor. I could see here still breathing but I guess the 2 guys didn't. Then her eyes shifted over to me like she was signaling me to run. I bolted I made it to the living room but was caught. The guy took out his knife and .....Ahhhhhh.   "Ahhhh", I yelled as I jolted up with sweat streaming down my face. I wiped my forehead.  I heard a voice behind me and it made me jump. "What is wrong?", Killian asked.  "Just a horrible nightmare again the same one.", I said as I layed back down.   "I think im going to puke", I said as I ran to the bathroom. For some reasong my wounds weren't hurting anymore. once I vomitted I walked back to bed, Then I layed down. I grabbed the remote and turned on the t.v.    "Jessica seriously talk to me", Killian said as he laid his hand gently on my shoulder.    "What theres nothing to talk about", I said.   "The bad dreams Jessica there not nightmares are they?" He asked.    "No", I said quietly. As I tuned around to face him.    "What are they then?" He asked.   "They are memories", I said.   "Memories of what?" he asked.    "When my mom and dad were killed?", I said quietly while rubbing my blanket.    "Tell me about it", He said.   "Well some of their friends were....over at our house and Then out of nowhere one of them pulled out a knife and stabbed then and.....uhh they saw me and chased after me and ugh the police got there just in time and so ya....", I said. Killian didn't say anything for a minute. It looked like I gave him too much information at one time and he had to take a second to take it all in.  "Why did't you tell me this If you would have told me I wouldn't have been so terrified when you scream at night and toss and turn at least I would know", He said.    "I don't really want anyone to know and Im sorry that I scared you", I said as I kissed him very passionately on his lips.  "I don't want to ever hurt you like that again I love you and now we have to learn to get along", I said as I pointed at my stomch.  The world ain't always going to be perfect. Life will throw challenges at you. You will have to say things you don't want to say. You just have to accept them.  Going home I got to go home today. I am excited I am tired of the hospital. I want to go home and lay down with killian all day and relax. I miss home. I got out of bed and got all my things together. Then we talked to the doctor and left. When we got home I called my best friend and wanted to know if the guy went after her but It was just me.  Publication Date: October 4th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-at1f1c45a1c4a35

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-c-philio-the-care-and-feeding-of-lunatics/

C Philio The Care and Feeding of Lunatics I don't know how any of us escaped, and wonder if any actually did. I always say that I got out before it was too late because after I left things got worse. All night novenas with everyone on their knees around the statue of the virgin and a candle praying for God knows what. The trips to the safeway dumpster with a look out at each end of the alley. The spiral into worse and worse areas of town in an attempt to spend less on rent (leaving more for booze) and "fly under the radar". Living in the no doctor zone, enlisting the youngest to care for the sickest. I could go on but then I'd just be repeating myself later. I have a hard time believing some of the stories, but the previous history lends credibility. We really were doomed from the git, grandma on moms side, mom, grandma on dads side, dad, throw in a lot of valium from the military docs and as much booze as dad could afford without actually letting us starve or go naked and you have an idillyc childhood. How did we not get taken away? I mean really there were five of us by the time I was nine its not like we were invisible. Grandma on moms side spent a lot of time in "the home" especially after mom was born. They never bonded well and mom developed some issues of her own. Grandma on dads side went thru husbands like socks and spiked her morning coffee with brandy. Dad, well the military triggered him. Personally I believe dad faked it to get out but it ended up being more than he could handle. Dad came home with a diagnosis of paranoid schitzafrenic, a lot of valium and was well on his way to becoming a serious alcoholic. Mom and Dad were both catholic when I was little and there was only one birth control as far as they were concerned and since there are six of us we should assume that it didn't do much to prevent pregnancy. Mom in her turn spent a lot of time at "the home" after a couple of the kids the one I remember most was after the youngest girl. Mom was changing a diaper and she had fuzzy slippers on her feet a dirty diaper in one hand and pins in the other. She started downstairs to get a clean diaper and slipped on the carpeted stairs, stabbing the pins into her hand, dropping the dirty diaper (that was a mess) and hitting her head on the post at the bottom. She spent at least two weeks in the home that time and it wasn't because she had a concusion. That was the first time I remember her being gone, according to dad though it was just one time in a long line of times. But to be fair I really only have his word for it and he was not the most truthful person I've ever known. As I got older I did see more proof of her issues although dads were always much more apparent. There was a pattern in my house, mom would read to the exclusion of all else, dad would drink until he couldn't function, and I would see to the younger kids. I would literally have to take the book from moms hands to get any help from her and dad just delegated whatever he didn't want to deal with. When I was 15 the youngest son was born and mom was exhausted, so I tended to him. I used to make believe he was mine and cared for him like he was. When mom would go to sleep and not wake up to his crying (even though he was right next to her) I did eventually wake up (three rooms away with the door shut). On one occasion I went out to get the baby and smelled something odd in the vacinity of the kitchen. I went to see what that was and tripped over dad who was laid across the kitchen between the sink and stove on a chair with his head in the oven. The gas was cranked and the pilot light on the water heater (not five feet away) was a happy little flame just waiting for the fumes to get that far. Being the closest thing to a practical adult, I turned off the gas and removed my father from the oven. It took a bit to get him to safety, (a mattress a few rooms away from the kitchen). Go give the baby a bottle, rock him back to sleep and sit vigil in the kitchen...just in case. Is it any wonder I smoked a little smoke, drank what I could get my hands on and eventually found my way to the drug of the day? Nobody really noticed when I started showing up stoned, mom was busy with a book or the baby and dad was too drunk to recognize. Then one day I was passed out in my room when the bed really started rocking, I came around slowly more because the sun was really bright in the front yard and asked where we were going with my mattress. My younger brother shushed me--don't you want to go on the picnic?--oh yea sure--and I was out til we were almost to Pueblo. Hell of a long way for a picnic. We had developed a tradition in our household it has come to be known as the Humble Bug Out. (Mom was a big fan of MASH). It just meant that what ever made it to the vehicle of the day before it was full was what was going with us to the next new home, (I use that term very loosely). Publication Date: January 16th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-cphilio

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-shy-ward-complacency-work-in-progress/

Shy Ward Complacency (Work in Progress) Endings and Beginnings This book obviously is not finished but it's been sitting in my hard drive for a little while now so i thought I'd give a test run. Thanks in advance to for taking the time to view it! Waking Up She thinks she can feel her heart breaking. Literally piece by piece is splintering and spreading throughout her chest. It feels overwhelming, almost panicky. This could be an overactive imagination from feelings of insecurity, not even reality; or even a dream, a compulsive nightmare trying to swallow its victim. Aliyah pinches her skin, wanting to wake up from this nightmare, break away from this depressing, smothering feeling and breathe, feel her pulse so that her heart feels back to normal. Her skin is numb, she can’t feel its normal sensation. Pinch harder…..nothing. Panic is rising, desperate for some feeling, desperate for this to be a mind over matter emotional nightmare, she runs to the kitchen and picks up a knife. Rational thinking has gone out the window because this is a dream. It has to be a horrible dream. Almost in tears with so much pressure in her chest and wanting out she quickly decides to slice the inside of her thigh.   “Ahhhh! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!” is her reaction.   She runs to the bathroom and searches for peroxide and bandages. Sitting over the side of the bathtub, she pours the alcohol and cringes in pain and the unbelievable reality that she cut herself. “Who does this,” she thought, “Oh my God, I must be going insane.”   He left me, he really just left me. What went wrong, I don’t understand, a month ago, I was his world and he knew he was going to marry me. What happened? What am I going to do? He just left with this bullshit excuse! What really happened? What really went wrong?! Oh my God, I have changed everything for him! Okay, calm down, calm down, get cleaned up and don’t fucking cry. If I lose it, it’s going to be too hard to snap back. Aliyah bandages her leg, shaking her head at what she just did. She just wanted to wake up from a nightmare, not scar herself and think that she’s gone crazy. A lesson learned, deal with it without taking drastic measures. There’s vodka in the cupboard, but its Wednesday and with this new job having her on probation for another three weeks, she couldn’t afford to oversleep. Opting for a Nyquil to ease her into sleep and fighting against tears, she went to bed, ignoring everything around the room that was his. Ten Years   Eric Dent had a lot of time on his hands now to think about everything and everyone he did wrong. When he heard that gavel slap down and those words that seemed like they came out of the judges mouth in milliseconds, T E N Y E A R S, it was like his heart stopped. He couldn’t even think of how lucky he was to not have gotten thirty, because that’s what he had been facing. It was such an unusual case though. A man who had maintained a job and went to work every day for the last ten years on kingpin status is definitely an unusual case. With quick thinking, he skimmed the courtroom for his son and his woman, making eye contact and seeing the look of shock on her face, he mouthed, “I love you.” He wanted her to know, not to forget him and he needs her to stand by him. Not seeing his wife or his daughter, he walked out in handcuffs and all that was on his mind is how to do the time.   At intake, his nerves were eating him up. He wanted to make a phone call. He needed to talk to the one person that could ease his mind, if only for a few minutes. All the thoughts of how much of the ten years he would have to do, his children growing up without him, Leanne moving on. He needed to call Leanne badly. He was already feeling like a different man, a one woman man, you can depend on me, I’ll never leave you or hurt you ever again man.   He did her so dirty, so damn dirty, she doesn’t even know just how dirty. What will he do if she finds out how dirty? She’s the only one he trusts. All he could think of was how he left things with too much in the way to break the ice to discovery and not a damn dime in her bank account. Caught with over a million in his attic and the NYPD got every bit of it, plus the flat screens, cars, jewelry and the diamond engagement ring right off her finger. He could have made sure she had a nest egg, but controlling the money while offering luxury is the best way to keep anyone in line, especially if she has your baby.   He wouldn’t get a call until he got to his permanent cell placement. He was going to have to wait this out. In the meantime, enjoy not having a cell mate. Taking a look in the mirror, he saw the criminal he never really acknowledged over the years. There he was, pushing him to do his time like a man. “I guess it’s my time to pay,” he says to the criminal in the mirror.   Leanne:   Oh my God, oh my God, what am I going to do?! Ten years? Ten years? Ten M-F-ing years?! I just want to curl up in my bed. Who is calling my phone? Nosey people, that’s all, pretending to care and be all sympathetic because they heard the news. I could snap if I answer that phone. I wish I could throw it out the window if I had money to replace it. Oh yeah, I can’t cause my man was so damn selfish and controlling, he didn’t leave a damn dime to me and my kids to get through this if he ever got busted. My house, my car, my livelihood is on the damn line and I still love him. What is wrong with me? They even got my ring. I could have at least pawned it. Leanne cannot feel her tears sliding down her face due to the full capacity of seemingly a thousand different emotions and thoughts electrocuting her body at that moment. She wanted someone to talk to, but she couldn’t control herself right now. She needs a few days alone, without the kids. Tomorrow she will send them with family, just a favor with no explanations and no talking. She needed to cry it all out, alone, in bed, no phone or outside interferences on his side of the bed. She needed to cry her way back to reality in order to get herself together and she didn’t want her children to see that pain, especially her daughter. She didn’t want to teach Natalie the way to be weak for men who make decisions that split up families. She didn’t even want her to date men like the ones she dated. That fast money man, greedy, lying and manipulating. He’s loving too, a great provider, sweet, jealous, emotionally unstable at times. Thinking of it all was a head ache, keeping her thoughts together seemed like a task for a corporate executive or something. She felt like she would pay someone to sort this all out for her if she could.   “I just need some time to figure this out,” she said aloud.     Single Man   Terrance Andrews was chilling. He had a few days off, he was single, a few drinks with the fam, football. It was cool. Earlier that day he thought it was crazy that he was even thinking about his ex. Why she hadn’t attempted to contact him since the break-up. He knew she was devastated. She loved him, was in love and he knew it. She never failed to show how she felt. It was the many things that he had loved about her personality.   It had been almost three weeks, and nothing. He thought it would be easier for her to handle if he didn’t lead her on in any form or fashion, so texting and emailing to see if she was alright had been out of the question, but now, he wanted to. He wondered about whether she was just taking it so hard and depressed or what if she didn’t care at all. Worse, what if she already moved on, which means, there had to be someone else on the side in the first place.   Thinking that Aliyah may have been dealing with someone else hurt Terrence’s pride at the thought of it, he felt a little jealous and pissed, until he realized that he shouldn’t even be caring, and why in the hell is he hurt, jealous or pissed when he left her.   “Go Cowboys!” Yeah! Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about baby! Terry, get in here! You missing this instant replay! Beat them Skins!”   He was thinking too much about his ex that he lost focus on the game. Grabbing four beers from the fridge, he headed back to the den. Still, he hadn’t even cared to give her a thought in the past three weeks while enjoying being single and walking out on his share of the bills. She would figure it out, that’s the type of woman she was. She wasn’t the one to drown when things got down, she’d figure out how to float until she could swim the distance. Terrance loved that about her.   ‘What’s up with you man, shake it off, get in the game,’ he thought to himself.   He still couldn’t help to think about the fact that she didn’t call. Then came the thought of his clothes and shoes that were still left at the house they shared together. Did she trash them, bleach them, burn them? If she didn’t, were the locked changed so he couldn’t get in to retrieve them? Why hasn’t she sent a text for him to come get his stuff like the angry woman who just got left by her man with all the bills after jumping the gun and moving 500 miles from any other support?   Terrance began to feel like crap. Thinking of all that was making him feel like less of a man and more of a coward for not at least taking into consideration that a woman who loved him flipped her whole life to accommodate him and he just bounced without paying the rent. It wouldn’t even be weighing in on him if she had at least been a bug-a-boo and attempted to contact him, at least then he really would have validation of the reason he felt he left. Now, he wasn’t sure. He wondered what she was up to. Not even knowing the real reason for it, he began to feel jealous and a little desperate to find out if she had moved on with her life. Test   The beds were hard, floors cold, food awful, space non-existent. To top it off, Eric was afraid to go to sleep. They were on full lock down after a deal gone bad on the tier earlier. Just to the right of him, another man had is face beaten in by a locked placed in a sock and used as a weapon. They just simply call that contraption a lock-in-a-sock. Eric hadn’t even seen the man coming. Blood splattered all over, it was all over his shirt, face and hair from sitting to close to the target. He had been cool, staying to himself, not really bonding, just feeling his surroundings and talking to his counselor when he could. He wanted to get qualified for as many of the programs as he could that would help him get out of there sooner than later. The whole reality of seeing the violent reaction to a man beaten bloody by another angry man over a tasty cake was a wake-up call. He just wanted to do his time and go home, not trade snack packs, cokes and noodles and get messed up over filling or no filling.   His eyes where still irritated due to the misty pepper spray used by the guards to break up the fight and control the situation. He had promptly backed away and removed his top shirt when he saw a group of them enter the unit. He removed his shirt because, regardless of whether he was involved or not, there was evidence on it and he would at least be taken into the Lieutenant’s office for questioning. He definitely wasn’t going to be labeled as a snitch, nobody knew him and right now, there would be nobody to back him up that he wasn’t a snitch. That obvious fact t that he would be considered a white boy snitching would probably make it worse, at least that is what he assumed. To avoid everything, let the shirt go, trash it.   Both the attacker and the victim were handcuffed and taken out of the unit. One of them was going to need serious medical attention. The Unit was locked down. He wondered how long this would last, especially since the bagged meals that came down were peanut butter and jelly, an apple and milk.   No phone calls would be made while on lock down. Even when let out a few at a time for showers, the phones were cut off. What if I wanted to call my girl instead of taking a shower, eric pondered. His mind started wandering, wondering what she was doing, if she were even home, who she might be with, or if she was patiently waiting on his call. "A" Game   Looking in the mirror, the face I see looking back at me is the face of a broken girl. Her caramel skin was missing her glow, eyes missing the light. She stood behind a mask now adding what was naturally missing underneath make-up so that when she walked into the business meeting all that stood before her team was a woman who was radiant and confident, with a smile on her face that says “life is good,” her "A" game.   In this new environment and in this new place of New York City, there is no one who can tell that Aliyah silently condemned herself because of the signs she missed, and the moves she made to uproot her life for someone who didn’t turn out to be the person he was supposed to be. At the same time, she had found a wonderful job which could possibly be a great career if only she chose to stay. She was only still in this City because she didn’t want to run back home to North Carolina as a failure. Everyone told her to stay, don’t go. There were people, family and friends that looked up to her and she didn’t want to admit, she made a bad decision even though she felt it before she left home. Nobody knew the things she kept hidden, her secret battle within herself that had nothing to do with a relationship, but herself.   Alright young lady, let’s get out of here and go run this camp.   Michelle, I’m not telling you that I couldn’t use a little help in my office. What I am telling you is that I have no time for a sand bagging kid, who thinks that being an A+ student and getting minimum wage just to buy a pair of the hottest Jordans working in my office, temp or no temp, I don’t have any children and I don’t wipe snot noses or asses. Get me an adult!!   I was frustrated, since becoming the top Advertising Accounts Executive at my company, I had been on a roll, but once I lost my assistant who decided to go to school full time instead of part time night courses, good help was hard to come by. I have no time for babysitting interns. I need someone who can take instructions, follow them and doesn’t need 50 damn confirmations while I’m in between meetings, or my five minute coffee break. Every minute counted and I don’t want to include any headaches. I’m a scheduler, it I wasn’t, it would be easy to lose control and fall apart. It took time to develop the skills and efficiency that I have acquired in the time I acquired it and the circumstances that I came from. Life is good. The pay…yeah that’s good too, although I hardly had time to enjoy its lucrative advantages. I was on my "A" game, at 26 years old and I was definitely well put together by now.   It’s been 5 years since I moved to New York City with my self- absorbed boyfriend at the time and he broke my heart, left me high and dry with the rent note in the ghetto, minimal knowledge of the subway system or any clue as to survive in what I would call the unofficial capital of the world. I was so fascinated by this City when I first came and quite intimidated by the thought of living here and it not just being a weekend trip or a short vacation. I was going to live amongst this crazy diversity of people who depended on taxis and subways and knew their way around the blocks, streets and avenues. Yes there is a difference. It’s just one complete huge grid, it’s a maze. Coming from Winston-Salem North Carolina, I am a country girl and oh my the culture shock from South to North was difficult to adjust to, especially since that asshole left me to fend of myself in a city where cabbies don’t just take advantage of tourists, but anyone who is not paying attention. Never say yes to taking the FDR, never. You have to watch yourself being alone, unknown and unfamiliar in a place where everyone jaywalks, the streets smell like piss, and stealing cabs is a mission of snooze you lose. You must walk fast and go with the flow of the crowd and don’t bother to complain about pushy people, bumping shoulders and no one has time to say or even thing about excuse me, please and thank you.   All of this was annoying and had me ready to bash a few people’s heads in, but once I realized that it’s the culture and either I had to adapt or be swallowed, I chose adaptation and I have loved it ever since. Once I was past the site seeing and tourist stage, the break up the heart ache, got a new job, I was on a roll; new home, Mercedes, and even a favorite designer. I was a hot market for political campaign advertising and shall I say sweet on the eyes. Initially, that’s how I acquired my first political commercial. A police chief, running for City attorney had his eye on me during an advertising planning meeting where I was on the board. He wanted a date, I wanted a top account to prove that I had what it took to be an executive, I needed a pay raise and some well-deserved respect. Once he realized I wasn’t just a pretty piece of meat and that my first mini campaigns resulted in favoritism of him winning the seat. He stopped hitting on me and told me to go to work. I got some great recommendations and support once I wedged my foot in the door. Besides we just didn’t match and I didn’t need anyone thinking that I had slept my way into business. It was strictly business, however I can say a year prior to that, the forty extra pounds I had on me probably would have gotten me looked over. Now that I am in a position of respect and power, keep your eyes in check though. It’s sad to say, but it’s the truth. Looks help.   “Diana, what are you doing for lunch”, I asked my assistant. Diana looked young, although she was a year older than myself. She was bi-racial, light brown skin, shoulder length dark semi kinky curls. She stood at 5’2 and was a bubbly refreshing presence in the office each day. I was a little jealous of her slim physique, although, I loved my hips, they were a constant distraction within my wardrobe and the attention of many googly eyes when I walked into business meetings. Buying my outfits two sizes bigger only showed me to be desperately trying to hide my hips and shamefully noticing that it didn’t work.   “Oh hey, Patrick is meeting me for pizza at Vinny’s.” She smiled. “What are you doing?”   “Oh, well okay, girl, I will just grab a snack down the hall, “ I replied disappointingly.   I liked Diana, that was my roll dog and at times, I lived vicariously through her whenever I had some down time and could catch up at work. She would often invite me out for drinks, but I was always too busy. Plus she liked the buddy system. Meeting a guy and having him bring his guy friend, punching up.   I’m not too old for a punch up……or am I. I mean being 21 and punching up with your girls is fine, but 26….I’m supposed to be weening out the corn nuggets from the full course meal. My stomach growled.   “You wanna come,” Diana interrupted my thoughts. I was hungry, but lately Diana has been talking up this Patrick guy a lot and they had been spending a lot of time together. She liked him and could very well label them as dating. I didn’t want to intrude, so I declined the invitation. The phone rang on my desk and I scurried from the doorway to answer it. I couldn’t believe the voice I heard on the other end.   “Hi, Liyah? It’s been a long time. How have you been?”   A Mismanaged LifeStyle Terrence Pov   I had made some horrible mistakes in my lifetime. I have deceived women, victimized them with my words, charm, mannerisms. I may be a womanizer but I am also a gentleman. Regardless, I have sexualized them, told them everything I knew I wanted to hear, bag them, use them, leave them. Worst of all, there was one that was a good girl, I did her dirty. I had a lot of good girls, who had something going for themselves. They were faithful, trustworthy and loving. Sweet girls, no not girls, I had come across and had a chance at some good women. I did a lot of them dirty, all of them I did dirty; disrespected them, ran around on them. There were women who I could have married and they would have made great wives.   There was one though that I could never seem to shake. When I left her, I expected it to be just like all the rest. She would bug me, wonder what she did wrong, give up the ass until she forced herself to not be used like a piece of meat, entice me. She did none of that.   She didn’t ever bother me once, and she didn’t let me come trump back up into her life either, once I didn’t get the satisfaction of feeling as though she couldn’t live without me. She let me drop the flag, and then she made a conscious decision to burn it and not tuck it away. RESPECT. Why couldn’t I have gotten myself together and married that girl. She had given up everything and ignored every advice in the world against me to move upstate to be with me. I left her and she still never blamed herself. She found her way and I know for a fact she was doing well for herself now without running back home. She conquered in the Big Apple.   I was good at making women feel like they were in the wrong. Men could make many mistakes and expect women to forgive them, and they usually did. Women had no room in society to make mistakes. Women rule the world, and they don’t even know it. Pussy is everything and could unite nations together or tear them apart. Men know this, but we pull on, hold and then sabotage the very weakness in women, their unconditional love, devotion and nurturing for her male counterpart. That’s the only way to control a woman, pull at her heart strings.   “Olivia, what’s going on, I’m sort of busy right now.”   “Hey Terrence, we need to talk.”   “I told you I’m busy Liv, I’ve got to go,” I pulled the phone away from my ear to look for the button to end the call.   “I’m HIV positive.   ”What? I know I didn’t just hear that. I paused and raise the phone back against my ear.“What did you just say to me?”   “I’m so sorry Terrence, I just found out that I am HIV positive.”   “When the…what the fuck? When?”   “I’ve known for about two weeks now.”   “It’s three months since we slept together. So what, you caught it after us,” I depended on this answer from Olivia. She was a good, faithful girl. Once she confirmed that she had unprotected sex with someone else after we stopped sleeping together then I would tell her that I’m sorry, and ask her if there was anything I could do. Act concerned, even though I wouldn’t lay a forefinger on her.   Harsh, well I’d hug her.   I had never been in love with her, but I cared for Olivia. I cared enough to deal with her for about a year and some change. We continued to sleep around once I walked out on her after she caught me cheating after she showed up at my place unannounced one Sunday morning to surprise me.   She didn’t know I lied to her about my business trip and had only left town for a day. She thought I was gone for the whole weekend. The look of shock on her face, man, I thought she was going to kill me. I had been in these situations before, been caught in other women’s beds before with other women.   Olivia, though she was a classy female, she was still born and raised in the hood, and she carried a registered firearm in her glove compartment. Luckily for me, once the chick laying beside me got the piss beat out of her and I broke them apart, I pulled her into me. I held her and told the other woman to leave. I looked Olivia in her eyes told her how I was unhappy and had been unhappy. I was still with her because I was waiting for her to change.   It was a screaming match and did cause me to get the crap slapped out of me, but once she broke down and started to cry and pleading for some answers, I went alpha male. I took the attention off of me and placed it on her. It was her fault I couldn’t be faithful.   Told her she didn’t make me feel like a man should feel, sex was a problem, her male friends she still had saved in her phone, little shit that didn’t make any sense in the first place. Things that after she got over the heart break, she would realize they were just excuses to keep her in love with me for however long it lasted and to keep her from breaking my nose and fucking up everything in my apartment. I had done it, flipped this on her not satisfying me and pushing me away as a way to justify what I had done to her. Women want to please. They question their ability to please you and they beat themselves up. She wasn’t strong enough for a man of my character.   “I can’t be sure. It could have been while we were together, but that doesn’t mean you have it.” she stated hurriedly. “I’m sorry T, I’m so sorry, I just thought that I’d tell you instead of letting the clinic call you.”   “You were sleeping around on me?” I didn’t call women bitches, that wasn’t in my nature. I’m a lover, not a fighter, but she deserved it, I really should have. First, I thought she was a decent woman and I trusted her, and to find out she was cheating on me. I only picked good girls. I looked for qualities like that. Good, clean women. This one had me fooled. All kinds of things were running through my head. Everything but the most important thing. When did she find the time to do it, who, how many. Did she play me instead? I could dish it, but I couldn’t take it?   “You are a whore ass dirty slut! Don’t call me anymore and I’m not playing either Liv!” I slammed the phone down, cracking my iphone screen. I didn’t care.   ***      Mr. Andrews? I heard the nurse call my name. “The doctor is ready to see you now.” I was shaken. It took me two days to make the call to my physician. I got in pretty quick. The doc and I are pretty good friends and without a shadow of a doubt, I knew he would keep this information confidential if I were infected. My nerves were bad. I hadn’t slept well nor answered any calls, texts or even to work. I had called in, told them I was ill and would be in when cleared by my doctor. I stepped in the room. The nurse did not take my vitals, doc told her, he would take care of it and to get the next patient ready. Dr. Jeff Norton, we were old friends and brothers. He was the only white man I ever trusted, and my closest friend.      He didn’t say a word while checking my blood pressure and temperature. I wanted to break the tension so badly. This was my boy. It was tense, while he was playing nurse all I could think about was what could be going on through his mind. I knew he was disappointed in me. Jeff told me time and time again, “protect yourself, just cause they look clean and act innocent and like you mean the world to them, doesn’t mean they don’t have a past. Women trust men not to hurt them as well when it comes to being intimate. If she is messing with a man like you, who sleeps with multiple women and she doesn’t know it, then she has probably slept with someone else like you. Stop using idealizations and character traits as a form of protecting yourself from diseases man. I see these type of mistakes every day in this profession. “   A phlebotomist came in and drew my blood. I held my breath the entire time. I was scared of what that dark red liquid floating inside that tube was going to tell Jeff about me. I was petrified. When the phlebotomist left, Jeff finally spoke.   “You know, it’s not 100% guaranteed that you will catch HIV from have sex with an infected person. It doesn’t mean you are immune, just means you were lucky this time.” Was he rubbing an " I told you so" in my face? If he is, I’d knock him the fuck out right not.     “Terrence, your test may be negative. If it’s not, well you know HIV is not a death sentence. It’s not AIDS Terrence.”   I looked at him, hopped off the table and walked out. He told me so.     Ghost from the Past Aliyah    Ghost from the Past**Aliyah** “Hi, Liyah? It’s been a long time. How have you been?”   The voice on the other line was startling. It was so familiar, but it couldn’t be. How had he found her and what nerve he had to contact her after so many years after he did what he did?“ This is Aliyah Kelly, how may I assist you today?” I knew this voice, but didn’t believe it. It couldn’t be.   “Liyah, baby, it’s me, Terrence.”   “Terrance?”   “Andrews, it’s Terrence Andrews. How have you been?”   “Well…..hello Terrence Andrews. It has been a while. I am very well, thank you.”   “That’s good, that’s good to hear. Listen, I know I was wondering if maybe you would like to have coffee with me Saturday morning, you know just to catch up.”   “Terrence, its been five years and you call me up and ask me out for coffee? How did you get my contact information anyway?”   “ Haha…..sorry, I’m not laughing at you, its just that I found your profile on Linkedin and saw you were working in advertising, so I kind of started going through the phone book and called around to human resourse departments and um, yeah, that’s how I found you.   What in the entire hell? Did this man just admit to stalking me? Okay it was his first time contacting me since he found out I trashed and burned all his belongings five years ago, the ones I couldn’t sell online and down at the flea market that is.   “Okay, well I cannot meet you for coffee, is there something else I can help you with?”   “Well why not? I just wanted to see how you’ve been. You’ve been on my mind on and off for the last five years, I regret we didn’t end on better terms and stay friends.”   “So you want to meet me at a coffee shop to tell me that after you up and left me alone after I shifted my whole life for you with the help of no one in a city all alone that you wished we were still friends? I don’t think so Terrence. I’m glad you are well and if you don’t mind, I need to be getting back to work.”   “Li-Li I”   “Goodbye Terrence.”   I hung up the receiver, ha nice try, contacting me after so long to say sorry, the nerve of him.It’s not that I was angry with Terrence. I was not angry at all. As a matter of fact, he did me a huge favor. Without going through what he put me through, I wouldn’t have thrived as well as I was here in this big city. I was so in love, I was blinded, but I got myself together, found my dignity and got back to making sure that I was the sole purpose in my life, my happiness and found a great career. He would have held me back. Yes, I was very grateful to him for breaking my heart and flying out the door. It was definitely his loss and my total gain. Time Passed and Here I AM Leanne   "Heyyyy babe, I'm going to have to cancel dinner tonight, my son isn't feeling well."   I was lying, I prayed God would forgive for using my son to get out of seeing Shane.  I had been seeing him on and off for the past five years.  He was a player, in and out ot jail for petty distribution, on work release I saw him alot cause he worked for his father's company, at least on paper he did.  He had to be back to the jail by 8 pm, so from 6 am to 8 pm three times a week he was with me.  He was due to be out soon in the next month but I had a change of heart, I didn't want his no good ass.  It was all fun and games while I got used to being single since Eric went to jail.  I didn't want him either, but deep down inside, I was still in love with him....I think.   "Aww dang I hope he feels better, you want me to just come over and keep you company then?"   "No, I'm going to call it a night, plus my sister is coming by and you know to talk and stuff, so I will just see you another time," I lied.   "Alright then."   "Alright bye," I quickly hung up before he could suggest something else, forcing me to lie to him again.   My sister wasn't coming, she doesn't care for him too much so throwing that out there was a way to discourage him from wanting to come.   Eric was on my mind, its been five years and over that course of time he had divorced his wife and proposed to me for the third time with a third ring.  I had three engagement rings and he dropped a hefty penny on this last one that I still wasn't wearing.  His parents were good to me and my kids, even though my daughter wasn't his child.  They helped out a lot and even though he got popped with $750 grand in his car, he somehow still had hidden money that they could access to help me out with the kids.  I still didn't understand why he didn't just give me primary access to these funds though.  I had a little that started as $50,000 in a safe deposit box, but for someone who was carrying around more that half a million dollars in the trunk of his car, why was I holding such a small ration that I didn't even touch unless I needed to.    I had to move, get a new car with payments because the car he bought for me was repossessed because he didn't put the title in my name because he wanted half the money he paid for it and found out that he had a slew of women he was taking care of on the side that had cars that he bought!  Bastard!  I had is son and he thought that I was going to stick around forever.  Well news flash baby, I been doing my thing while he's been crying for my attention every phone call.   Now he was coming home in 2 weeks and I was beginning to feel confused.  I didn't let him know that though, as far as he was concerned, I didn't want him and I would keep it that way until he spent his last trying hand on earning me back.  I was preparing for his return, even though he will be staying with his parents, thank goodness, I was going to get me some me time while he spent many days making up for lost time with my kids.    The phone rang. "Hello?"  "Yes I accept the collect call." It was Eric.  I lay back on my King sized bed and reach under my pillow for my vibrator.  I've been waiting for his call all day.  I'm going to sleep good tonight. The Opportunity Eric:   " Mr. Dent, I have checked out all the information on your references and your home plan.  It seems that you have completed all your program requirements to be considered for early parole release.  What I am concerned about is your ability to re-enter society and not end up on the statistical end of recidivism.  Are you absolutely ready to leave behind your old ways and become a productive citizen of society.  Is there anything that you would like to add today in consideration for your parole decision?" "Yes ma'am.  This is my first major incarceration.  I have received no infractions since it has started and yes, I have completed all program requirements.  My parents have been very supportive of me and as you can see that is who I've listed as my home plan.  I already have a job waiting for me on the outside and I have a family of my own.  A son that I have missed out on potty training and starting his first day of school and many other things.  Prison has not been a playground for me, it has kept me away from a lot of important mile stones in both my life and the life of my son and quality time with my family.  I'm ready to go back, I've lived a normal uncriminal life before, and to prevent my return to prison and my son becoming a statistic, I'm done with my old life.  It wasn't about not being smart enough to not get caught, it was about realizing that I have a responsibilty as a father and positive role model to my son and I'm ready to catch up with that and be that man.  That's that most important job that I will ever have is to be a father, so today, I'm hoping that the board will give me that opportunity to do that.  That is all I have to say." The panel of parole officers seemed optimistic about his statement.  He had no institutional record since his incarceration.  Eric spoke with enthusiasm and of high intelligence.  He felt that the parole hearing was positive and he would soon be free on parole.  He would see his son and his soon to be wife and his step daughter.  Everything he missed out on would soon be replaced by positive memories and a happily ever after.  He was ready.  Prison was not for him.  He was ready for a new life, regardless of the challenges.  He was going to win back Leanne's love.  He would finalize his divorce from his first wife and he was going to marry Leanne.  There was nothing stopping him from getting what he wanted and making it up to her. Turned Down to Turn Up Terrence Pov   There was a time when I wouldn't have cared if I was turned down for a coffee date or any other date, matter of fact, maybe I would have since it didn't happen often due to a woman despising my presence.  "I really messed up" , I thought to myself. Aliyah didn't want to see me, but I needed to see her.  After my recent scare after talking to Olivia, it had scared me straight.  Jeff had given me a call about my test results.  Usually the nurse did that, but since we were childhood friends, I knew that he wanted to deliver the news personally.   "Hey man, how you feeling", Jeff said on the other line.   "How am I feeling?  What do you mean how am I feeling?  What's Up Jeff?"   "I just wanted to give you a call and see how you are doing man?"   "Jeff, stop playing with me man!  Did my test results come back?  I need to know and you are playing with me right now!  This is serious man, I haven't slept in days!", I shouted over the phone while pacing my living room.   "Calm down my friend, your test results were negative."   A huge side of relief poured over my body.  I felt my heart sputter and chills fell over my hands and feet from the anxiety that had built up.  My skin was clammy from sweat.   "So I'm HIV negative?" I needed to him to reaffirm what he just said.   "That's what negative means Terr."   "Aww man, thanks, but don't play with me like that, man, I just thought it was going to be the end of my life just a minute ago.  You got me sweatin over here."   "Well, I'm glad that you are good and you won't be dying off from the bug, anything else, I can't help you with," Jeff joked.   "Ha ha ha, very funny.  So what's up with you, it's a Friday night, let's go out and celebrate these chains that just fell off of me.  I want to go to $pin, and have some drinks on me."   "Alright man, hit me up around 8, I should be done with all this work and home by then."   "Yeah man, alright, see ya later, and thanks again."   Jeff hung up the phone and so did I.  I hadn't realized I had stopped pacing and even sat down to the bar separating my living room and kitchen.  I just sat in silence for a while, taking in the absolutely relieving conversation that I had just ended.    I can't believe how close I came to death, I mean, I know people live long with it with the right care and medicine but I never thought it would be me that would have to depend on the answer to that situation.  Dang, I'm lucky.....no not lucky, I'm blessed.  I know there's a God, with my history, there has to be a God.       ******   "  What's up T?"   "Heyyy Jeff!  My man!  Whatchu drinkin, I'm buying!  Hey honey," Terrence called out to the bartender, "Anything he wants through this whole night, put it on my tab."   "You got it cutie," the bartender smiled.  It wasn't just an ordinary, friendly customer service smile.  Terrence blushed, she was sexy, who wouldn't.   "And um, another for me and her is a tip in advance for your trouble sweetie."  He handed her a fifty dollar bill.  She placed it in her cleavage, blew him a kiss with her red sparkling lips, turned around slowly and walked away.  Her white latex looking dress was tight and accentuated all of her curves.  Terrence was in lust.  She wanted it and he wanted to give it to her.   "Hey man, the bartender, really?  Didn't you just clear your head of headache earlier?  Now you want to screw the bartender that you have known of of 20 seconds, and don't even know her name!"  Jeff proclaimed.   "Nobody said anything about screwing her.  I was just admiring a beautiful woman.  Come on, we are out having a good time, I gave her a tip.  Hell, she deserves it the way she is working that dress with that body in it."   "Yeah and a fifty dollar tip, sounds like you are buying her admiration to me."   "Jeff, you sound like a broke hater, and I know you getting paid doctor, Dr. Jeff Norton."   They laughed as the bartender brought their drinks to the counter along with a slip of paper with a phone number and the name Selah.  Selah smiled and licked her lips while turning away and helping another customer she wasn't so friendly with.  Jeff placed the number in his pocket.   "Terrence you need to throw that away.  Besides, I see something on the other side of the room that you may be more interested in over there in V.I.P."   Terrence turned around after taking one more look over of Selah's sexy figure to look toward V.I.P.   "I don't know what you are talking about, that bartender is the sexiest thing I see so far......damn.....is that Aliyah?"     He lost his train of thought before seeing her.  There she was, the woman he dealt the Joker card to when she should have had the Ace.  He'd been thinking about her for five years and of all the women, he couldn't get her out of his mind.  He'd found out where she worked, where she lived, called her up and couldn't even get her to agree to meet him for a cup of coffee.   There she was, in the V.I.P. looking sexy and sophisticated all at the same time with bottles and wine glasses dancing with some women he didn't know.  There were a few men in the circle.  He felt jealous.  Who were those men?  Who was the one all up in her face that she was turning up with?  Is he the reason she turned him down?  He was losing his mind and felt as though he was about to explode in a fit of rage.     A Good Time  Aliyah I was ecstatic to hear Leanne's voice when she called me at my office earlier today and asked me out for lunch.  It had been a while since I had chatted with her.  She was my very first friend that I made once I got myself somewhat together after moving to New York.  I was still living in the hole that I had shared with Terrance when I first moved up here and bumped into her carrying her groceries and a car seat with a baby and another little one closely behind her.  She dropped her bags. "Excuse you," she bellowed angrily.   I wasn't about to let a hood rat get all out of pocket with me over an accident that I was just about to apologize for, but it just so happened that I looked at her and changed my opinion of her in that moment.  She was very well dressed with nice designer clothing, but not hood looking, except her big earrings that is.  Her makeup was flawless and so was her hair.  Her children looked very well kept.  I didn't just notice her dress, what really caught me was her eyes and the look in them.  She looked as if she was distressed, very sad, but angry at the same time.  She looked like the hell I saw looking back in the mirror at me just eight months prior.  At that moment, I decided that I wouldn't be a snout and rudely address her just as I felt she did me. "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry.  Please, if you don't mind, I will help you with your bags."   She looked up at me from the ground where she was collecting her groceries and softened her eyes a little.  "I would really appreciate that," she whispered.   I carried all the groceries behind her up to her third floor apartment while she carried her baby and the over sized car seat.  I thought of how much work that must be, a job rather carrying her children up and down stairs with groceries added, trying to take as much as possible so you don't have to make so many trips. "I'm Aliyah, I live on the second floor,"  introducing myself as I sat her bags onto her kitchen counter. "Thank you for the help, and sorry for snapping at you, I know you didn't mean it, I've just had a rough day......I'm just tired." "So what is your name?" I asked. "Ha ha, yeah, right, I'm Leanne and this is Pia and Prince." Pointing to her daughter and baby boy in the seat. "They are adorable!"   From that point on, we became like sisters, supporting each other, helping each other move into new homes, celebrating holidays, birthdays and her children were like my children.  There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her or them. At lunch, Leanne and I caught up, talking about work, my non existent love life, and her very complicated love life, the phone call I'd recieved earlier from Terrance, and the idea that her son's father would soon be leaving prison.  "Girl, I'm tired of talking about these men, how about we go out tonight and have a little fun," Leanne quizzed. "I'm all for it, I have the next three days off, and I'm due for it," was my response.   **************************************************************************  Club $pin was spinning tonight!  Leanne was dressed in a black fitted dress with fish net leggings, black and gold high heeled thigh high boots with gold jewelry and long locks of hair surrounding her perfectly made up face with flesh colored lips against her caramel brown skin.  Since it had been a long while since I had dressed for a night out, I primped through my closet with all the fresh price tags on them and pulled out a red dress.  It fell just above the knee.  It was opened in the back, exposing a lustful area of flesh and a front split beneath my breast that was designed as a peakaboo for a little tease.  I put on my black red bottoms with my vampire red lipstick and brown eyeliner, swooped my long, overly thick massive curls in a top ponytail just so they would fall to the side of my face but expose my neckline with no necklace to make it look very kissable.  My bottom looked like that of an african princess in this dress and heels.  I knew I was destined for V.I.P. with no funds on me tonight.   "God, you are beautiful", Aliyah heard a deep voice behind her. "Well hello Jonathan, long time no see."  It was Jonathan Ashe, the account executive for Ames Enterprises, a top headliner for a real estate agency that owned condominiums and sold extrvagant homes to A listers.  He was handsome, with a medeteranian look, sharp jawline, pearly white teeth, strong chest and back, tall and exact from head to toe with a short cut, edged up perfectly and deep dark brown eyes.  He was a pretty boy, and no matter how sexy and attractive Aliyah thought he was, she was turned off by pretty boys, but she couldn't help wanting to be in his presence and going home with him from time to time.  She just thought they weren't relationship material.   "Aliyah, I never have been able to figure out why you wouldn't give me a chance, and now here we are again.  So how about I buy you and your friend some drinks a bite to eat and all I ask is the priviledge to enjoy your company and share your V.I.P. with me tonight so we can maybe catch up or just have a good time."   Aliyah, smiling lustfully into Jonathan's eyes saw a bit of distraction just over his shoulder.  One angry and jealous looking Terrance stepping from the bar, walking slowly toward VIP and stopping dead in the middle of the dance floor while watching her every move.  Aliyah, then looked back into Jonathan's eyes and pulled him closer, whispering in his ear, "We can talk about it at your place in the morning."         Publication Date: June 16th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-njoyabl

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-karo-wirth-red-and-black/

Karo Wirth Red and Black Kopiere den Inhalt Deines Textverarbeitungsprogramms (z.B. MS Word) und füge ihn hier ein. Pro neuem Kapitel öffnet sich ein neues Eingabefenster. Mach Dir also keine Sorgen, wenn der Text aus dem vorherigen Kapitel nicht im Fenster erscheint, wenn Du ein neues Kapitel anlegst. Publication Date: March 9th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-preciousangel

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-madi-c-p-runner/

Madi C-P, Abi A.P Runner Maybe running away is'nt as great as she always thought... EVERYONE WHO HELPS US WITH IDEAS!! :) xx Chapter 1 ~Becky~   "Becky!" The she devil called from downstairs. "Right on time" I muttered to myself quietly, throwing the covers of reluctantly. Shoving my black ripped skinny jeans, white cami, my favourite black over sized hoddie and topped off with my black vans. "Becky! you better have that fat ass of yours out of bed!" She screamed at me from downstairs. "I'm up!" "you better fucken be, or i swear to god..." She threatened. "Or what ma? You gonna beat me again?" "Don't be fucken lippy kid!" "Arrrrg!" I growled fustrated. Why must she always do this?   ~Derek~   "You got the shit?" He sneered at me. I've always hated this part of the job, i tried to avoid it but it comes with the job" "yeah, i got it. You got the cash?" I replied trying to hide the slight shake in my voice. Not gonna lie this dude kinda freaked me out a bit. Bulky build, shaved head, dark eyes and covered in tattoos, pretty much your typical thug. But i had to pull through, if not for me then for jimmy. "Alright then, hand it over" He growled at me through clenched teeth, his hand held out expectantly. "Nah mate, hand for hand" "Wat, dont trust me kid?" "Not at all" i stated smirking. God why why do these people always have to be so bloody difficult? Swap the money for goods and leave. Why all the freaking talking? "Smart kid" He mused, sounding slightly pissed off. Good, maybe now if theres a next time we can just get straight down to buisness instead of wasting my bloody time with this stupid chitchat. We made the exchange, and then i was out of there back in the direction of home...if you could call it that.     (A/N Hey sorry guys this is kind of a short chapter, but its just a tease really. If we can think of anything else to add into it we will, we are definitely up for any sugestions you may have so justr leave us a comment thanks :) xx) Chapter 2   ~Derek~   "Jimmy? Come on bud, time to get up for school" I said gently while nudging his shoulder. "mmm 5 more minutes please Dek" He mumbled sleepily. "No, 5 more minutes and we'll be late" I laughed while pulling him out of bed. "ohh" he sighed in defeat, "What did you get for lunch today?" He chirped happily, how this kid is so happy with the life he has i have no idea. "I'm sorry bud, i dont get paid till this afternoon so you gonna have to make do with an apple and a couple of jam sandwiches" I said looking at him apologetically. "Okay Dek" "Okay then were gonna be late if you dont hurry up so be quick" I said as i walked out the door, "I'll wait for you in the kitchen" "Okay Dek" He replied while rushing around getting ready for school. I walked the short distance to the kitchen and started making jimmy some breakfast and lunch.   As i was shutting his lunch box he raced into the kitchen. "Done" he said. "Toast is on the bench" I mumbled around my mouthful of food, putting his ice-cream container of a lunch box in his bag and zipping it up again. "Gonna have to walk and eat again bud, don't want you to be late" "Sure" He said around the mouthful of food he had in his mouth. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Even though Jimmy and i had both tried to cut down on time back home i was still late. I had to sprint the medium distance between Jimmy's primary school to my hell-hole of a high school to get to school before first period ended, and even then there was only 5 minutes of english left.   Running down the seemingly endless twists and turns of the halls, i ran right into someone. A girl. She didn't say sorry, hell she hardly even acknowledged me apart from steadying herself by grabbing onto my muscular frame, she just turned  and walked off, ducking into the bathrooms. I just shrugged and walked off, as if telling myself to not worry about it.   ~Becky~   Class was let out early so we were free to roam the school. With class being out of the way i set up a hook-up with the amazing James Kerridge in the far girls bathroom. I made my way towards the bathrooms on the other side of the school. I turned the corner, running directly into a hard chest. Grabbing their shoulders, i steadied myself then ran towards the bathrooms.   Text: A.C-P Family xx Images: Google Tumblr pics xx Editing: Madi & Abi xx Translation: Madi & Abi xx All rights reserved. Publication Date: January 10th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-te82823dee8b245

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-brian-doswell-the-last-white-rose-of-summer/

Brian Doswell The Last White Rose Of Summer the last supper The Last White Rose Of Summer by Brian Doswell The house was built in 1932, just after the roaring twenties. For those who could afford it, it was a period of extravagance, just long enough after the first world war to have escaped any thoughts of austerity and before the sobriety of the depression years came into view. I suspect it was a time of high hopes and supreme self-confidence when anything was thought to be possible, much as would happen again two generations later in the swinging sixties. The term ‘Art Deco’ was coined much later, but the very notion of a period when art and decorative design was paramount was indicative of a period when the people felt that these, somewhat ill defined, values were worth spending time and effort on. It was late autumn when I first saw the house. Leaves were strewn across a curving driveway that had lost its edges in an unceasing battle with the ever encroaching weeds. An octagonal sunken rose garden looked more like a land fill site, liberally dusted with empty crisp packets and debris blown in on the wind. The house had stood empty for almost three years following the death of its previous occupant. The estate was supposedly managed by a distant relative, somewhere in New York, who had provided for a house keeper and a gardener, but clearly no one had been near the house for several months, maybe longer. It was actually a case of mistaken identity. I had set out to find another address and followed the estate agent’s instructions, or so I thought, but I suppose that I must have missed a turning somewhere in an unfamiliar town. There was no sale board to advertise the property and yet it was clearly unoccupied. A five-bar wooden gate was not so much open as collapsed on it’s one remaining rusted iron hinge, not exactly inviting me in, more that it was too tired to resist my entry. My car ploughed through the sea of leaf mould that was the drive up to the front door. Two tall Palladian columns framed a substantial oak door set into a porch with some of the most decorative brickwork that I had ever seen on such a town property and, in hindsight; I was hooked from then on. I had no keys but I was able to walk around the house and its gardens which backed onto woodland separated only by a low post and wire fence that had also known better days. I tried five different estate agents in the town before I found the one that admitted to acting for the current owner. It seemed that the previous occupant had been a local character, the widow of an industrialist and local councillor who had built the house in 1932. As a comparatively wealthy widow, she had become something of a recluse and taken to demanding services from the town such as she might have enjoyed in the thirties. I imagined her perhaps seeing her butler riding into town on his bicycle to bring back her daily newspaper to be ironed and placed by her side, doubtless with a glass of port. Ah, Golden days. Armed now with the keys and the estate agent, I inspected the house but in truth there was no need, I knew that if I could afford the asking price then I would buy the house regardless of surveys or any other questions. This was definitely a ‘coup de coeur’. A year later my wife and I were installed in our new home. The drive was cleared of leaves and the lawns mowed. Newly imported Asian lilies floated serenely on the pond beneath the willow trees. All that remained was for me to revive the lost rose garden. Although I’m not really a gardener I felt a personal need to do this myself. The debris removed, I set to work on the backbreaking task of changing the old topsoil for a ton of new specially imported rose soil delivered directly from the National Rose Gardens at Wisley. My wife and I toured the local specialist rose growers and scoured the internet until we had found the most perfect combination of pale cream and white roses which I planted over the course of two gruelling weekends. At last everything came together. We had no way to know for sure but we felt that we had created a rose garden equal to anything that might have been there in the 1930’s. This labour of love became my pride and joy. Each morning before leaving for the station I gazed with pride on the Lazarus-like miracle we had brought about. Each evening I would take my pre-dinner drink into the garden and gaze on the beauty of the roses that filled my beautiful octagonal rose bed. Until that is, until the evening of the dinner party. It must have been a Saturday. Dinner parties were always on Saturdays because the last train from town during the week was far from being as predictable as the train operating company would have you believe. It was also late summer and I recall that although the weather was still warm, we had chosen to insist on gentlemen wearing dinner jackets and black ties. The ladies always go to such efforts to look their best on these occasions that it seems only fair that the gents should have a good wash and brush up. George had been in on Friday to see to the lawns and trim the edges along the drive so that everything was looking just right for the party. The menu had been discussed in great depth and had been agreed by the home team, although I suspect that most of it was really sorted out by my wife and the town butcher. Champagne cocktails on arrival, with an assortment of nibbles, to be served in the logia. I don’t much like champagne myself but it does always get an evening off to a good start. A terrine of wild hare, shot by the members of the local Conservative club, and then Osso Bucco, which literally means ‘bone with a hole’, a favourite Italian recipe of veal shin braised in white wine with onions and tomato. In deference to the late summer I planned to serve a chilled white wine, also from Italy. I had stumbled on Orvieto just a few years before, during a holiday in Umbria. Orvieto is a rich and wonderful wine made from Trebiano blended with Verdello, Grechetto, Drupeggio and Malvasia Toscano grapes and, I have to say, is well worth its price in the local supermarket. The hall clock chimed seven times as stood at the bedroom mirror to tie my tie. I refuse to wear one of those clip-on things but I must admit to a certain degree of frustration with the damned thing that always seems to have a mind of its own, especially when one is late getting dressed. Determined not to be defeated by a silly piece of ribbon, I persevered until it all fell neatly into place. At last, a perfect bow. I stood back to admire this perfection in the mirror and foolishly allowed my eye to look over the polished antique wooden mirror frame, through the newly installed, leaded windows and into the garden where should have been my perfectly manicured octagonal rose bed. I came down the extravagantly restored, art deco, oak staircase two, no, three at a time but it made no difference. My roses were gone except for one single remaining white bloom. Of the rest, there was nothing left but stalks with a few lost and scattered petals lying on the neatly mulched earth like confetti on a church path after the bride has gone by. Furious would be an understatement. Who could have done such a thing? My wife, taking a few roses for a table decoration perhaps, but this bordered on criminal damage. The culprit must be caught and publicly lynched, preferably now and definitely before the guests arrive, and the clock was ticking. I must have called out on my way to the garden because my wife arrived just moments after me, equally horrified by the carnage that lay before us. Had they been there at the time, a good team of divorce lawyers would have had a field day while we amicably discussed who might have been so neglectful as to allow this to happen, on this of all evenings. But, we were no so daft as to realise that what was done, was done. What next? What was to be done to repair the damage? Was there time to call the florist in the town and selotape cut blooms onto the severed stalks? Clearly not. We would just have to tough it out. Perhaps we could casually ask our friends if they had also suffered from the South American rose weevil, known to be rampant in these parts this summer? Better still, we could forego the champagne on the logia and settle for meeting everyone with a glass of champagne at the door, then herding them straight into the dining room so that the octagonal rose bed remained out of view. My wife is always the one to come up with the best ideas at a time like this. ‘Bugger the roses, let’s have the champagne anyway,’ was her admirable and much welcomed suggestion. With less than thirty minutes to go before our guests were due, there seemed no better option. Hold the cork and turn the bottle. My father taught me that when I was a boy and it really does work. The cork popped and I filled our glasses, we drank and then I filled them again. We sat together, glass in hand, in the over stuffed garden armchairs on our logia, admiring our neatly trimmed lawns with their tidy box hedge borders, our weeping willow with its branches dipping down into the pond below and to the side a neatly set, octagonal rose bed with one its one remaining white rose holding its head proudly against the verdant green background of laurel hedges. I remember that it was a still moment such as only happens in an English summer garden. Neither of us spoke as we sipped our champagne. The last of the evening sun was resting on the tops of our hedges before sinking gently into the woods beyond; nothing moved. Well, almost nothing. We both watched in continued silence as the hedge appeared to part like a theatre curtain and a young fawn strode purposefully across our lawn, round the pond, under the trailing willow branches and then straight towards the sole remaining white rose. The fawn paused, for just the briefest of moments, and then I swear it looked directly at us sitting in our armchairs, before biting the head off the last white rose and chewing it to shreds. I have never seen such big brown eyes or such an enchanting face. Bambi was a cartoon, but this was a real, live, rose-eating baby red deer; and it was in our garden. We dared not move or speak least we might scare this prettiest of animals while it finished its meal and then wandered around the garden looking for more. We were both equally struck by the instant contact that the young of any species creates in those of a parental age. How could we remain angry at the loss of a few roses when there was such an appealing cause parading around in front of us? It was almost half past seven, our guests would be arriving at any minute but now the thought of serving veal or any other big brown-eyed baby animal was totally impossible. This would just have to be our first black-tie dinner to feast on vegetables alone. I suppose that evening was at least four years ago and we have been vegetarians ever since. Oh!, and by the way, the Orvieto Classico is still the best buy on the white wine rack in Tesco’s. Publication Date: June 8th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-briandoswell

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-arnold-bennett-the-title/

Arnold Bennett The Title A Comedy in Three Acts CHARACTERS MR. CULVER MRS. CULVER HILDEGARDE CULVER } their children JOHN CULVER } TRANTO MISS STARKEY SAMPSON STRAIGHT PARLOURMAID ACT I An evening between Christmas and New Year, before dinner. ACT II The next evening, after dinner. ACT III The next day, before lunch. The scene throughout is a sitting-room in the well-furnished West End abode of the Culvers. There is a door, back. There is also another door (L) leading to Mrs. Culver's boudoir and elsewhere. ACT I ACT I Hildegarde is sitting at a desk, writing. John, in a lounging attitude, is reading a newspaper. Enter Tranto, back. TRANTO. Good evening. HILDEGARDE (turning slightly in her seat and giving him her left hand, the right still holding a pen). Good evening. Excuse me one moment. TRANTO. All right about my dining here to-night? (Hildegarde nods.) Larder equal to the strain? HILDEGARDE. Macaroni. TRANTO. Splendid. HILDEGARDE. Beefsteak. TRANTO. Great heavens! (imitates sketchily the motions of cutting up a piece of steak. Shaking hands with John, who has risen). Well, John. How are things? Don't let me disturb you. Have a cigarette. JOHN (flattered). Thanks. (As they light cigarettes.) You're the first person here that's treated me like a human being. TRANTO. Oh! JOHN. Yes. They all treat me as if I was a schoolboy home for the hols. TRANTO. But you are, aren't you? JOHN. In a way, of course. But--well, don't you see what I mean? TRANTO (sympathetically). You mean that a schoolboy home for the hols isn't necessarily something escaped out of the Zoo. JOHN (warming). That's it. TRANTO. In fact, what you mean is you're really an individual very like the rest of us, subject, if I may say so, to the common desires, weaknesses and prejudices of humanity--and not a damned freak. JOHN (brightly). That's rather good, that is. If it's a question of the Zoo, what I say is--what price home? Now, homes are extraordinary if you like--I don't know whether you've ever noticed it. School--you can understand school. But home--! Strange things happen here while I'm away. TRANTO. Yes? JOHN. It was while I was away they appointed Dad a controller. When I heard--I laughed. Dad a controller! Why, he can't even control mother. HILDEGARDE (without looking round). Oh yes he can. JOHN (pretending to start back). Stay me with flagons! (Resuming to Tranto.) And you're something new here since the summer holidays. TRANTO. I never looked at myself in that light. But I suppose I am rather new here. JOHN. Not quite new. But you've made a lot of progress during the last term. TRANTO. That's comforting. JOHN. You understand what I mean. You were rather stiff and prim in August--now you aren't a bit. TRANTO. Just so. Well, I won't ask you what you think of me, John--you might tell me--but what do you think of my newspaper? JOHN. The Echo? I don't know what to think. You see, we don't read newspapers much at school. Some of the masters do. And a few chaps in the Fifth--swank, of course. But speaking generally we don't. Prefects don't. No time. TRANTO. How strange! Aren't you interested in the war? JOHN. Interested in the war! Would you mind if I spoke plainly? TRANTO. I should love it. JOHN. Each time I come home I wonder more and more whether you people in London have got the slightest notion what war really is. Fact! At school, it's just because we are interested in the war that we've no time for newspapers. TRANTO. How's that? JOHN. How's that? Well, munition workshops--with government inspectors tumbling all over us about once a week. O.T.C. work. Field days. Cramming fellows for Sandhurst. Not to mention female masters. 'Mistresses,' I ought to say, perhaps. All these things take time. TRANTO. I never thought of that. JOHN. No. People don't. However, I've decided to read newspapers in future--it'll be part of my scheme. That's why I was reading The Echo. Now, I should like to ask you something about this paper of yours. TRANTO. Yes. JOHN. Why do you let Hilda write those articles for you about food economy stunts in the household? TRANTO. Well--(hesitating) JOHN. Now, I look at things practically. When Hilda'd spent all her dress allowance and got into debt besides, about a year and a half ago, she suddenly remembered she wasn't doing much to help the war, and so she went into the Food Ministry as a typist at thirty-five shillings a week. Next she learnt typing. Then she became an authority on everything. And now she's concocting these food articles for you. Believe me, the girl knows nothing whatever about cookery. She couldn't fry a sausage for nuts. Once the mater insisted on her doing the housekeeping--in the holidays, too! Stay me with flagons! HILDEGARDE (without looking round). Stay you with chocolates, you mean, Johnnie, dear. JOHN. There you are! Her thoughts fly instantly to chocolates--and in the fourth year of the greatest war that the world-- HILDEGARDE. Etcetera, etcetera. TRANTO. Then do I gather that you don't entirely approve of your sister's articles? JOHN. Tripe, I think. My fag could write better. I'll tell you what I do approve of. I approve of that article to-day by that chap Sampson Straight about titles and the shameful traffic in honours, and the rot of the hereditary principle, and all that sort of thing. TRANTO. I'm glad. Delivers the goods, doesn't he, Mr. Sampson Straight? JOHN. Well, I think so. Who is he? TRANTO. One of my discoveries, John. He sent me in an article about--let me see, when was it?--about eight months ago. I at once perceived that in Mr. Sampson Straight I had got on to a bit of all right. And I was not mistaken. He has given London beans pretty regularly once a week ever since. JOHN. He must have given the War Cabinet neuralgia this afternoon, anyhow. I should like to meet him. TRANTO. I'm afraid that's impossible. JOHN. Is it? Why? TRANTO. Well, I haven't met him myself yet. He lives at a quiet country place in Cornwall. Hermit, I believe. Hates any kind of publicity. Absolutely refuses to be photographed. JOHN. Photographed! I should think not! But couldn't you get him to come and lecture at school? We have frightful swells, you know. TRANTO. I expect you do. But he wouldn't come. JOHN. I wish he would. We had a debate the other Saturday night on, Should the hereditary principle be abolished? TRANTO. And did you abolish it? JOHN. Did we abolish it? I should say we did. Eighty-five to twenty-one. Some debate, believe me! HILDEGARDE (looking round). Yes, but didn't you tell us once that in your Debating Society the speakers always tossed for sides beforehand? JOHN (shrugging his shoulders. More confidentially to Tranto). As I was saying, I'm going to read the papers in future, as part of my scheme. And d'you know what the scheme is? (Impressively.) I've decided to take up a political career. TRANTO. Good! JOHN. Yes, it was during that hereditary principle debate that I decided. It came over me all of a sudden while I was on the last lap of my speech and the fellows were cheering. And so I want to understand first of all the newspaper situation in London. There are one or two things about it I don't understand. TRANTO. Not more? I can explain the newspaper situation to you in ten words. You know I've got a lot of uncles. I daresay I've got more uncles than anybody else in 'Who's Who.' Well, I own The Echo,--inherited it from my father. My uncles own all the rest of the press--(airily) with a few trifling exceptions. That's the London newspaper situation. Quite simple, isn't it? JOHN. But of course The Echo is up against all your uncles' papers--at least it seems so. TRANTO. Absolutely up against them. Tooth and nail. Daggers drawn. No quarter. Death or victory. JOHN. But do you and your uncles speak to each other? TRANTO. Best of friends. JOHN. But aren't two of your uncles lords? TRANTO. Yes. Uncle Joe was made an earl not long since--you may have heard of the fuss about it. Uncle Sam's only a miserable baron yet. And Uncle Cuthbert is that paltry insect--a baronet. JOHN. What did they get their titles for? TRANTO. Ask me another. JOHN. Of course I don't want to be personal, but how did they get them? Did they--er--buy them? TRANTO. Don't know. JOHN. Haven't you ever asked them? TRANTO. Well, John, you've got relatives yourself, and you probably know there are some things that even the most affectionate relatives don't ask each other. HILDEGARDE (rising from the desk and looking at John's feet). Yes, indeed! This very morning I unwisely asked Johnnie whether his socks ever talked. Altercation followed. 'Some debate, believe me!' JOHN (rising; with scornful tranquillity). I'd better get ready for dinner. Besides, you two would doubtless like to be alone together for a few precious moments. HILDEGARDE (sharply and self-consciously). What do you mean? JOHN (lightly). Nothing. I thought editor and contributor-- HILDEGARDE. Oh! I see. JOHN (stopping at door, and turning round). Do you mean to say your uncles won't be frightfully angry at Mr. Sampson Straight's articles? Why, dash it, when he's talking about traffic in honours, if he doesn't mean them who does he mean? TRANTO. My dear friend, stuff like that's meat and drink to my uncles. They put it down like chocolates. JOHN. Well my deliberate opinion is--it's a jolly strange world. (Exit quickly, back). TRANTO (looking at Hildegarde). So it is. Philosopher, John! Questions rather pointed perhaps; but result in the discovery of new truths. By the way, have I come too early? HILDEGARDE (archly). How could you? But father's controlling the country half an hour more than usual this evening, and I expect mamma was so angry about it she forgot to telephone you that dinner's moved accordingly. (With piquancy and humour.) I was rather surprised to hear when I got home from my Ministry that you'd sent word you'd like to dine to-night. TRANTO. Were you? Why? HILDEGARDE. Because last week when mamma asked you for to-night, you said you had another engagement. TRANTO. Oh! I'd forgotten I'd told her that. Still, I really had another engagement. HILDEGARDE. The Countess of Blackfriars--you said. TRANTO. Yes. Auntie Joe's. I've just sent her a telephone message to say I'm ill and confined to the house. HILDEGARDE. Which house? TRANTO. I didn't specify any particular house. HILDEGARDE. And are you ill? TRANTO. I am not.... To get back to the realm of fact, when I read Sampson Straight's article about the degradation of honours this afternoon-- HILDEGARDE. Didn't you read it before you published it? TRANTO. No. I had to rush off and confront the Medical Board at 9 a.m. I felt certain the article would be all right. HILDEGARDE. And it wasn't all right. TRANTO (positively). Perfectly all right. HILDEGARDE. You don't seem quite sure. Are we still in the realm of fact, or are we slipping over the frontier? TRANTO. The article was perfectly all right. It rattled off from beginning to end like a machine-gun, and must have caused enormous casualties. Only I thought Auntie Joe might be one of the casualties. I thought it might put her out of action as a hostess for a week or so. You see, for me to publish such an onslaught on new titles in the afternoon, and then attempt to dine with the latest countess the same night--and she my own aunt--well, it might be regarded as a bit--thick. So I'm confined to the house--this house as it happens. HILDEGARDE. But you told John your people would take the article like meat and drink. TRANTO. What if I did? John can't expect to discover the whole truth about everything at one go. He's found out it's a jolly strange world. That ought to satisfy him for to-day. Besides, he only asked me about my uncles. He said nothing about my uncles' wives. You know what women are--I mean wives. HILDEGARDE. Oh, I do! Mother is a marvellous specimen. TRANTO. I haven't told you the worst. HILDEGARDE. I hope no man ever will. TRANTO. The worst is this. Auntie Joe actually thinks I'm Sampson Straight. HILDEGARDE. She doesn't! TRANTO. She does. She has an infinite capacity for belief. The psychology of the thing is as follows. My governor died a comparatively poor man. A couple of hundred thousand pounds, more or less. Whereas Uncle Joe is worth five millions--and Uncle Joe was going to adopt me, when Auntie Joe butted in and married him. She used to arrange the flowers for his first wife. Then she arranged his flowers. Then she became a flower herself and he had to gather her. Then she had twins, and my chances of inheriting that five millions (he imitates the noise of a slight explosion) short-circuited! Well, I didn't care a volt--not a volt! I've got lots of uncles left who are quite capable of adopting me. But I didn't really want to be adopted at all. To adopt me was only part of Uncle Joe's political game. It was my Echo that he was after adopting. But I'd sooner run my Echo on my own than inherit Uncle Joe's controlling share in twenty-five daily papers, seventy-one weekly papers, six monthly magazines, and three independent advertising agencies. I know I'm a poor man, but I'm quite ready to go on facing the world bravely with my modest capital of a couple of hundred thousand pounds. Only Auntie Joe can't understand that. She's absolutely convinced that I have a terrific grudge against her and her twins, and that in order to gratify that grudge I myself personally write articles against all her most sacred ideals under the pseudonym of Sampson Straight. I've pointed out to her that I'm a newspaper proprietor, and no newspaper proprietor ever could write. No use! She won't listen. HILDEGARDE. Then she thinks you're a liar. TRANTO. Oh, not at all. Only a journalist. But you perceive the widening rift in the family lute. (A silence.) Pardon this glimpse into the secret history of the week. HILDEGARDE (formidably). Mr. Tranto, you and I are sitting on the edge of a volcano. TRANTO. We are. I like it. Thrilling, and yet so warm and cosy. HILDEGARDE. I used to like it once. But I don't think I like it any more. TRANTO. Now please don't let Auntie Joe worry you. She's my cross, not yours. HILDEGARDE. Yes. But considered as a cross, your Auntie Joe is nothing to my brother John, who quite justly calls his sister's cookery stuff 'tripe.' It was a most ingenious camouflage of yours to have me pretending to be the author of that food economy 'tripe,' so as to cover my writing quite different articles for The Echo and your coming here to see me so often. Most ingenious. Worthy of a newspaper proprietor. But why should I be saddled with 'tripe' that isn't mine? TRANTO. Why, indeed! Then you think we ought to encourage the volcano with a lighted match--and run? HILDEGARDE. I'm ready if you are. TRANTO. Oh! I'm ready. Secrecy was a great stunt at first. Letting out the secret will be an even greater stunt now. It'll make the finest newspaper story since the fearful fall of the last Cabinet. Sampson Straight--equals Miss Hildegarde Culver, the twenty-one year old daughter of the Controller of Accounts! Typist in the Food Department, by day! Journalistic genius by night! The terror of Ministers! Read by all London! Raised the circulation of The Echo two hundred per cent! Phenomenon unique in the annals of Fleet Street! (In a different tone, noticing Hildegarde's face). Crude headlines, I admit, but that's what Uncle Joe has brought us to. We have to compete with Uncle Joe.... HILDEGARDE. Of course I shall have to leave home. TRANTO. Leave home! HILDEGARDE. Yes, and live by myself in rooms. TRANTO. But why? HILDEGARDE. I couldn't possibly stay here. Think how it would compromise father with the War Cabinet if I did. It might ruin him. And as accounts are everything in modern warfare, it might lose the war. But that's nothing--it's mamma I'm thinking of. Do you forget that Sampson Straight, being a young woman of advanced ideas, has written about everything, everything--yes, and several other subjects besides? For instance, here's the article I was revising when you came in. (Shows the title-page to Tranto.) TRANTO. Splendid! You're the most courageous creature I ever met. HILDEGARDE. Possibly. But not courageous enough to offer to kiss mamma when I went to bed on the night that that (indicating the article) had appeared in print under my own name. You don't know mamma. TRANTO. But dash it! You could eat your mother! HILDEGARDE. Pardon me. The contrary is the fact. Mamma could eat me. TRANTO. But you're the illustrious Sampson Straight. There's more intelligence in your little finger than there is in your mother's whole body. See how you write. HILDEGARDE. Write! I only began to write as a relief from mamma. I escaped secretly into articles like escaping into an underground passage. But as for facing mamma in the open!... Even father scarcely ever does that; and when he does, we hold our breath, and the cook turns teetotal. It wouldn't be the slightest use me trying to explain the situation logically to mamma. She wouldn't understand. She's far too clever to understand anything she doesn't like. Perhaps that's the secret of her power. No, if the truth about Sampson Straight is to come out I must leave home--quietly but firmly leave home. And why not? I can keep myself in splendour on Sampson's earnings. And the break is bound to come sooner or later. I admit I didn't begin very seriously, but reading my own articles has gradually made me serious. I feel I have a cause. A cause may be inconvenient, but it's magnificent. It's like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it. TRANTO. Cause be hanged! Suffer be hanged! High heels be hanged! Champagne--(stops). Miss Culver, if a disclosure means your leaving home I won't agree to any disclosure whatever. I will--not--agree. We'll sit tight on the volcano. HILDEGARDE. But why won't you agree? TRANTO (excited). Why won't I agree! Why won't I agree! Because I don't want you to leave home. I know you're a born genius--a marvel, a miracle, a prodigy, an incredible orchid, the most brilliant journalist in London. I'm fully aware of all that. But I do not and will not see you as a literary bachelor living with a cause and holding receptions of serious people in chambers furnished by Roger Fry. I like to think of you at home, here, in this charming atmosphere, amid the delightful vicissitudes of family existence, and--well, I like to think of you as a woman. HILDEGARDE (calmly and teasingly). Mr. Tranto, we are forgetting one thing. TRANTO. What's that? HILDEGARDE. You're an editor, and I'm a contributor whom you've never met. Enter Mrs. Culver (L). MRS. CULVER. Mr. Tranto, how are you? (Shaking hands.) I'm delighted to see you. So sorry I didn't warn you we dine half an hour later--thanks to the scandalous way the Government slave-drives my poor husband. Please do excuse me. (She sits). TRANTO. On the contrary, it's I who should ask to be excused--proposing myself like this at the last moment. MRS. CULVER. It was very nice of you to think of us. Come and sit down here. (Indicating a place by her side on the sofa.) Now in my poor addled brain I had an idea you were engaged for to-night at your aunt's, Lady Blackfriars'. TRANTO (sitting). Mrs. Culver, you forget nothing. I was engaged for Auntie Joe's, but she's ill and she's put me off. MRS. CULVER. Dear me! How very sudden! TRANTO. Sudden? MRS. CULVER. I met Lady Blackfriars at tea late this afternoon and it struck me how well she was looking. TRANTO. Yes, she always looks particularly well just before she's going to be ill. She's very brave, very brave. MRS. CULVER. D'you mean in having twins? It was more than brave of her; it was beautiful--both boys, too. HILDEGARDE (innocently). Budgeting for a long war. MRS. CULVER (affectionately). My dear girl! Come here, darling, you haven't changed. Excuse me, Mr. Tranto. HILDEGARDE (approaching). I've been so busy. And I thought nobody was coming. MRS. CULVER. Is your father nobody? (stroking and patting Hildegarde's dress into order). What have you been so busy on? HILDEGARDE. Article for The Echo. (Tranto, who has been holding the MS., indicates it.) MRS. CULVER. I do wish you would let me see those cookery articles of yours before they're printed. TRANTO (putting MS. in his pocket). I'm afraid that's quite against the rules. You see, in Fleet Street-- MRS. CULVER (very pleasantly). As you please. I don't pretend to be intellectual. But I confess I'm just a wee bit disappointed in Hildegarde's cookery articles. I'm a great believer in good cookery. I put it next to the Christian religion--and far in front of mere cleanliness. I've just been trying to read Professor Metchnikoff's wonderful book on 'The Nature of Man.' It only confirms me in my lifelong belief that until the nature of man is completely altered good cooking is the chief thing that women ought to understand. Now I taught Hildegarde some cookery myself. She was not what I should call a brilliant pupil, but she did grasp the great eternal principles. And yet I find her writing (with charm and benevolence) stuff like her last article--'The Everlasting Boiled Potato,' I think she called it. Hildegarde, it was really very naughty of you to say what you said in that article. (Drawing down Hildegarde's head and kissing her.) TRANTO. Now why, Mrs. Culver? I thought it was so clever. MRS. CULVER. It may be clever to advocate fried potatoes and chip potatoes and saute potatoes as a change from the everlasting boiled. I daresay it's what you call journalism. But how can you fry potatoes without fat? TRANTO. Ah! How? MRS. CULVER. And where are you to obtain fat? I can't obtain fat. I stand in queues for hours because my servants won't--it's the latest form of democracy--but I can't obtain fat. I think the nearest fat is at Stratford-on-Avon. TRANTO. Stand in queues! Mrs. Culver, you make me feel very guilty, plunging in at a moment's notice and demanding a whole dinner in a fatless world. I shall eat nothing but dry bread. MRS. CULVER. We never serve bread at lunch or dinner unless it's specially asked for. But if soup, macaroni, eggs, and jelly will keep you alive till breakfast-- HILDEGARDE. But there's beefsteak, mamma--I've told Mr. Tranto. MRS. CULVER. Only a little, and that's for your father. Beefsteak's the one thing that keeps off his neuralgia, Mr. Tranto. (With apologetic persuasiveness.) I'm sure you'll understand. TRANTO. Dear lady, I've never had neuralgia in my life. Macaroni, eggs, and jelly are my dream. I've always wanted to feel like an invalid. MRS. CULVER. And how did you get on with your Medical Board this morning? TRANTO. How marvellous of you to remember that I had a Medical Board this morning! I believe I've found out your secret, Mrs. Culver--you're undergoing a course of Pelman with those sixty generals and forty admirals. Well, the Medical Board have given me a new complaint. You'll be sorry to hear that I'm deformed. MRS. CULVER. Not deformed! TRANTO. Yes. It appears I'm flat-footed. (Extending his leg.) Have I ever told you that I had a dashing military career extending over four months, three of which I spent in hospital for a disease I hadn't got? Then I was discharged as unfit. After a year they raked me in again. Since then I've been boarded five times, and on the unimpeachable authority of various R.A.M.C. Colonels I've been afflicted with valvular disease of the heart, incipient tuberculosis, rickets, varicose veins, diabetes--practically everything, except spotted fever and leprosy. And now flat feet are added to all the rest. Even the Russian collapse and the transfer of the entire German army to the Western Front hasn't raised me higher than C 3. MRS. CULVER. How annoying for you! You might have risen to be a captain by this time. HILDEGARDE (reflectively). No doubt, in a home unit. But if he'd gone to the Front he would still have been a second lieutenant. MRS. CULVER. My dear! TRANTO. Whereas in fact I'm still one of those able-bodied young shirkers in mufti that patriotic old gentlemen in clubs are always writing to my uncles' papers about. MRS. CULVER. Please! please! (A slight pause; pulling herself together; cheerfully.) Let me see, you were going in for Siege Artillery, weren't you? TRANTO. Me! Siege Artillery. My original ambition was trench mortars--not so noisy. MRS. CULVER (simply). Oh! Then it must have been somebody else who was talking to me about Siege Artillery. I understand it's very scientific--all angles and degrees and wind-pressures and things. John will soon be eighteen, and his father and I want him to be really useful in the Army. We don't want him to be thrown away. He has brains, and so we are thinking of Siege Artillery for him. (During this speech John has entered, in evening dress.) JOHN. Are you on Siege again, mater? The mater's keen on Siege because she's heard somewhere it's the safest thing there is. MRS. CULVER. And if it does happen to be the safest--what then? TRANTO. I suppose you're all for the Flying Corps, John? JOHN (with condescension). Not specially. Since one of the old boys came and did looping the loop stunts over the school the whole Fifth has gone mad on the R.F.C. Most fellows are just like sheep. Somebody in the Sixth has to be original. I want to fight as much as any chap with wings across his chest, but I've got my private career to think of too. If you ask me, the mater's had a brain-wave for once. Enter Mr. Culver, back. He stands a moment at the door, surveying the scene. Mrs. Culver springs up, and Tranto also rises, moving towards the door. MRS. CULVER. Arthur, have you come? CULVER (advancing a little). Apparently. Hello, Tranto, glad to see you. I wanted to. (Shakes hands with Tranto.) MRS. CULVER. What's the matter, Arthur? CULVER. Everything. MRS. CULVER (alarmed, but carefully coaxing). Why are you wearing your velvet coat? (To Tranto.) He always puts on his velvet coat instead of dressing when something's gone wrong. (To Mr. Culver.) Have you got neuralgia again? CULVER. I don't think so. MRS. CULVER. But surely you must know! You look terribly pale. CULVER. The effect of the velvet coat, my dear--nicely calculated in advance. MRS. CULVER (darting at him, holding him by the shoulders, and then kissing him violently. With an intonation of affectionate protest). Darling! JOHN. Oh! I say, mater, look here! MRS. CULVER (to Culver, still holding him). I'm very annoyed with you. It's perfectly absurd the way you work. (To Tranto.) Do you know he was at the office all day Christmas Day and all day Boxing Day? (To Culver.) You really must take a holiday. CULVER. But what about the war, darling? MRS. CULVER (loosing him). Oh! You're always making the war an excuse. I know what I shall do. I shall just go-- CULVER. Yes, darling, just go and suggest a short armistice to the Germans while you take me to Brighton for a week's fondling. MRS. CULVER. I shall just speak to Miss Starkey. Strange that the wife, in order to influence the husband, should have to appeal to (disdainfully) the lady secretary! But so it is. CULVER. Hermione, I must beg you not to interfere between Miss Starkey and me. Interference will upset Miss Starkey, and I cannot stand her being upset. I depend upon her absolutely. First, Miss Starkey is the rock upon which my official existence is built. She is a serious and conscientious rock. She is hard and expects me to be hard. Secondly, Miss Starkey is the cushion between me and the world. She knows my tender spots, and protects them. Thirdly, Miss Starkey is my rod--and I kiss it. MRS. CULVER. Arthur!... (tries to be agreeable). But I really am vexed. CULVER. Well, I'm only hungry. Enter Parlourmaid. PARLOURMAID. Cook's compliments, madam, and dinner will be twenty minutes late. (Exit.) (A shocked silence.) CULVER (with an exhausted sigh). And yet I gave that cook one of my most captivating smiles this morning. MRS. CULVER (settling Mr. Culver into a chair). She's done it simply because I told her to-night that rationing is definitely coming in. Her reply was that the kitchen would never stand it, whatever the Government said. She was quite upset--and so she's gone and done something to the dinner. CULVER. Surely rather illogical of her, isn't it? Or have I missed a link in the chain of reasoning? MRS. CULVER. I shall give her notice--after dinner. JOHN. Couldn't you leave it till after the holidays, mother? HILDEGARDE. And where shall you find another cook, mamma? MRS. CULVER. The first thing is to get rid of the present one. Then we shall see. CULVER. My dear, you talk as if she was a prime minister. Still, it might be a good plan to sack all the servants before rationing comes in, and engage deaf-mutes. MRS. CULVER. Deaf-mutes! CULVER. Deaf-mutes. Then they wouldn't be worried by the continual groaning of my hunger, and I shouldn't hear any complaints about theirs. MRS. CULVER (to Hildegarde). My pet, you've time to change now. Do run and change. You're so sombre. HILDEGARDE. I can't do it in twenty minutes. MRS. CULVER. Then put a bright shawl on--for papa's sake. HILDEGARDE. I haven't got a bright shawl. MRS. CULVER. Then take mine. The one with the pink beads on it. It's in my wardrobe--right-hand side. JOHN. That means it'll be on the left-hand side. (Exit Hildegarde, back, with a look at Tranto, who opens the door for her.) MRS. CULVER (with sweet apprehensiveness). Now Arthur, I'm afraid after all you have something on your mind. CULVER. I've got nothing on my stomach, anyway. (Bracing himself.) Yes, darling, it's true. I have got something on my mind. Within the last hour I've had a fearful shock-- MRS. CULVER. I knew it! CULVER. And I need sustaining. I hadn't meant to say anything until after dinner, but in view of cook's drastic alterations in the time-table I may as well tell you (looking round) at once. MRS. CULVER. It's something about the Government again. CULVER. The Government has been in a very serious situation. MRS. CULVER (alarmed). You mean they're going to ask you to resign? CULVER. I wish they would! MRS. CULVER. Arthur! Do please remember the country is at war. CULVER. Is it? So it is. You see, my pet, I remember such a lot of things. I remember that my brainy partner is counting khaki trousers in the Army clothing department. I remember that my other partner ought to be in a lunatic asylum, but isn't. I remember that my business is going to the dogs at a muzzle velocity of about five thousand feet a second. I remember that from mere snobbishness I work for the Government without a penny of salary, and that my sole reward is to be insulted and libelled by high-brow novelists who write for the press. Therefore you ought not to be startled if I secretly yearn to resign. However, I shall not be asked to resign. I said that the Government had been in a very serious situation. It was. But it will soon recover. MRS. CULVER. How soon? CULVER. On New Year's Day. JOHN. Then what's the fearful shock, dad? MRS. CULVER. Yes. Have you heard anything special? CULVER. No. But I've seen something special. I saw it less than an hour ago. It was shown to me without the slightest warning, and I admit it shook me. You can perceive for yourselves that it shook me. MRS. CULVER. But what? CULVER. The New Year's Honours List--or rather a few choice selections from the more sensational parts of it. Enter Hildegarde. MRS. CULVER. Arthur, what do you mean? (To Hildegarde, in despair.) My chick, your father grows more and more puzzling every day! How well that shawl suits you! You look quite a different girl. But you've--(arranges the shawl on Hildegarde) I really don't know what your father has on his mind! I really don't! JOHN (impatient of this feminine manifestation). Oh, dad, go on. Go on! I want to get at the bottom of this titles business. I'm hanged if I can understand it. What strikes me as an unprejudiced observer is that titles are supposed to be such a terrific honour, and yet the people who deal them out scarcely ever keep any for themselves. Look at Mr. Gladstone, for instance. He must have made about forty earls and seven thousand baronets in his time. Now if I was a Prime Minister, and I believed in titles--which I jolly well don't--I should make myself a duke right off; and I should have several marquises and viscounts round me in the Cabinet like a sort of bodyguard, and my private secretaries would have to be knights. There'd be some logic in that arrangement anyhow. CULVER. In view of your political career, John, will you mind if I give you a brief lesson on elementary politics--though you are on your holidays? JOHN (easily). I'm game. CULVER. What is the first duty of modern Governments? JOHN. To govern. CULVER. My innocent boy. I thought better of you. I know that you look on the venerable Mr. Tranto as a back number, and I suspect that Mr. Tranto in his turn regards me as prehistoric; and yet you are so behind the times as to imagine that the first duty of modern Governments is to govern! My dear Rip van Winkle, wake up. The first duty of a Government is to live. It has no right to be a Government at all unless it is convinced that if it fell the country would go to everlasting smash. Hence its first duty is to survive. In order to survive it must do three things--placate certain interests, influence votes, and obtain secret funds. All these three things can be accomplished by the ingenious institution of Honours. Only the simple-minded believe that Honours are given to honour. Honours are given to save the life of the Government. Hence the Honours List. Examine the Honours List and you can instantly tell how the Government feels in its inside. When the Honours List is full of rascals, millionaires, and--er--chumps, you may be quite sure that the Government is dangerously ill. TRANTO. But that amounts to what we've been saying in The Echo to-day. CULVER. Yes, I've read the The Echo. JOHN. I thought you never had a free moment at the office--always rushed to death--at least that's the mater's theory. CULVER. I've read The Echo, and my one surprise is that you're here to-night, Tranto. TRANTO. Why? CULVER. I quite thought you'd have been shoved into the Tower under the Defence of the Realm Act. Or Sampson Straight, anyway. (Hildegarde starts.) Your contributor has committed the unpardonable sin of hitting the nail on the head. He might almost have seen an advance copy of the Honours List. TRANTO. He hadn't. Nor had I. Who's in it? CULVER. You might ask who isn't in it. (Taking a paper from his pocket.) Well, Gentletie's in it. He gets a knighthood. TRANTO. Never heard of him. Who is he? HILDEGARDE. Oh, yes, you've heard of him. (John glances at her severely.) He's M.P. for some earthly paradise or other in the South Riding. TRANTO. Oh! CULVER. Perhaps I might read you something written by my private secretary--he's one of these literary wags. You see there's been a demand that the Government should state clearly, in every case of an Honour, exactly what services the Honour is given for. This (taking paper from his pocket) is supposed to be the stuff sent round to the Press by the Press Bureau. (Reads.) 'Mr. Gentletie has gradually made a solid reputation for himself as the dullest man in the House of Commons. Whenever he rises to his feet the House empties as if by magic. In cases of inconvenience, when the Government wishes abruptly to close a debate by counting out the House, it has invariably put up Mr. Gentletie to speak. The device has never been known to fail. Nobody can doubt that Mr. Gentletie's patriotic devotion to the Allied cause well merits the knighthood which is now bestowed on him.' JOHN (astounded.) Stay me with flagons! TRANTO. So that's that! And who else? CULVER. Another of your esteemed uncles. TRANTO. Well, that's not very startling, seeing that my uncle's chief daily organ is really a department of the Government. JOHN. What I say is-- HILDEGARDE (simultaneously with John). Wouldn't it be more correct--(continuing alone) wouldn't it be more correct to say that the Government is really a department of your uncle's chief daily organ? JOHN. Hilda, old girl, I wish you wouldn't interrupt. Cookery's your line. HILDEGARDE. Sorry, Johnnie. I see I was in danger of becoming unsexed. CULVER (to John). Yes? You were about to say? JOHN. Oh, nothing. CULVER (to Tranto). Shall I read the passage on your uncle? TRANTO. Don't trouble. Who's the next? CULVER. The next is--Ullivant, munitions manufacturer. Let me see. (Reads.) By the simple means of saying that the cost price of shells was eighteen shillings and ninepence each, whereas it was in fact only ten shillings and ninepence, Mr. Joshua Ullivant has made a fortune of two million pounds during the war. He has given a hundred thousand to the Prince of Wales's Fund, a hundred thousand to the Red Cross, and a hundred thousand to the party funds. Total net profit on the war, one million seven hundred thousand pounds, not counting the peerage which is now bestowed upon him, and which it must be admitted is a just reward for his remarkable business acumen.' TRANTO. Very agreeable fellow Ullivant is, nevertheless. CULVER. Oh, he is. They're most of them too damned agreeable for anything. Another prominent name is Orlando Bush. TRANTO. Ah! MRS. CULVER. I've met his wife. She dances beautifully at charity matinees. CULVER. No doubt. But apparently that's not the reason. TRANTO. I know Orlando. I've just bought the serial rights of his book. CULVER. Have you paid him? TRANTO. No. CULVER. How wise of you! (Reads). 'Mr. Orlando Bush has written a historical sketch, with many circumstantial details, of the political origins of the present Government. For his forbearance in kindly consenting to withold publication until the end of the war Mr. Bush receives a well-earned'-- TRANTO. What? CULVER. Knighthood. TRANTO. Cheap! But what a sell for me! CULVER. Now, ladies and gentlemen, the last name with which I will trouble you is that of Mr. James Brill. TRANTO. Not Jimmy Brill! CULVER. Jimmy Brill. TRANTO. But he's a-- CULVER. Stop, my dear Tranto. No crude phrases, please. (Reads.) 'Mr. James Brill, to use the language of metaphor, possessed a pistol, which pistol he held point blank at the head of the Government. The Government has thought it wise to purchase Mr. James Brill's pistol--' TRANTO. But he's a-- CULVER (raising a hand). He is merely the man with the pistol, and in exchange for the pistol he gets a baronetcy. TRANTO. A baronetcy! CULVER. His title and pistol will go rattling down the ages, my dear Tranto, from generation to generation. For the moment the fellow's name stinks, but only for the moment. In the nostrils of his grandson (third baronet), it will have a most sweet odour. MRS. CULVER. But all this is perfectly shocking. CULVER. Now I hope you comprehend my emotion, darling. MRS. CULVER But surely there are some nice names on the List. CULVER. Of course. There have to be some nice names, for the sake of the psychological effect on the public mind on New Year's Day. The public looks for a good name, or for a name it can understand. It skims down the List till it sees one. Then it says: 'Ah! That's not so bad!' Then it skims down further till it sees another one, and it says again: 'Ah! That's not so bad!' And so on. So that with about five or six decent names you can produce the illusion that after all the List is really rather good. HILDEGARDE. The strange thing to me is that decent people condescend to receive titles at all. MRS. CULVER. Bravo, Hildegarde! Yes, if it's so bad as you make out, Arthur, why do decent people take Honours? CULVER. I'll tell you. Decent people have wives, and their wives lead them by the nose. That's why decent people take Honours. MRS. CULVER. Well, I think it's monstrous! CULVER. So it is. I've been a Conservative all my life; I am a Conservative. I swear I am. And yet, now when I look back, I'm amazed at the things I used to do. Why, once I actually voted against a candidate who stood for the reform of the House of Lords. Seems incredible. This war is changing my ideas. (Suddenly, after a slight pause.) I'm dashed if I don't join the Labour party and ask Ramsay Macdonald to lunch. Enter Parlourmaid, back. PARLOURMAID. You are wanted on the telephone, madam. MRS. CULVER. Oh, Arthur! (Pats him on the shoulder as she goes out.) (Exit Mrs. Culver and Parlourmaid, back.) CULVER. Hildegarde, go and see if you can hurry up dinner. HILDEGARDE. No one could. CULVER. Never mind, go and see. (Exit Hildegarde, back.) John, just take these keys, and get some cigars out of the cabinet, you know, Partagas. JOHN. Oh! Is it a Partaga night? (Exit, back.) CULVER (watching the door close). Tranto, we are conspirators. TRANTO. You and I? CULVER. Yes. But we must have no secrets. Who wrote that article in The Echo? Who is Sampson Straight? TRANTO (temporising, lightly). You remind me of the man with the pistol. CULVER. Is it Hildegarde? TRANTO. How did you guess? CULVER. Well; first, I knew my daughter couldn't be the piffling lunatic who does your war cookery articles. Second, I asked myself: What reason has she for pretending to be that piffling lunatic? Third, I have an exceedingly high opinion of my daughter's brains. Fourth, she gave a funny start just now when I mentioned the idea of Sampson Straight going to the Tower. TRANTO. Perhaps I ought to explain-- CULVER. No you oughn't. There's no time. I simply wanted a bit of information. I've got it. Now I have a bit of information for you. I've been offered a place in this beautiful Honours List. Baronetcy! Me! I am put on the same high plane as Mr. James Brill, the unspeakable. The formal offer hasn't actually arrived--it's late; I expect the letter'll be here in the morning--but I know for a fact I'm in the List for a baronetcy. TRANTO. Well, I congratulate you. CULVER. You'd better not. TRANTO. You deserve more than a baronetcy. Your department has been a striking success--one of the very few in the whole length of Whitehall. CULVER. I know my department has been a success. But that's not why I'm offered a baronetcy. Good heavens, I haven't even spoken to any member of the War Cabinet yet. I've been trying to for about a year, but in spite of powerful influences to help me I've never been able to bring off a meeting with the mandarins. No! I'm offered a baronetcy because I'm respectable; I'm decent; and at the last moment they thought the List looked a bit too thick--so they pushed me in. One of their brilliant afterthoughts!... No damned merit about the thing, I can tell you! TRANTO. Do you mean you intend to refuse? CULVER. Do you mean you ever imagined that I should accept? Me, in the same galley with Brill--who daren't go into his own clubs--and Ullivant, and a few more pretty nearly as bad! Of course, I shall refuse. Nothing on earth would induce me to accept. Nothing! (More calmly.) Mind you, I don't blame the Government; probably the Government can't help itself. Therefore the Government must be helped; and sometimes the best way to help a fellow creature is to bring him to his senses by catching him one across the jaw. TRANTO. Why are you making a secret of it? The offer is surely bound to come out. CULVER. Of course. I'm only making a secret of it for the moment, while I prepare the domestic ground for my refusal. TRANTO. You wish me to understand-- CULVER. You know what women are. (With caution.) I speak of the sex in general. TRANTO. I see. CULVER. That's all right. TRANTO. Well, if I mayn't congratulate you on the title, let me congratulate you on your marvellous skill in this delicate operation of preparing the domestic ground for your refusal of the title. Your success is complete, absolute. CULVER (sardonic.) Complete? Absolute? TRANTO. You have--er--jockeyed Mrs.--er--the sex into committing itself quite definitely against titles. Hence I look on your position as impregnable. CULVER. Good heavens, Tranto! How old are you? TRANTO. Twenty-five. CULVER. A quarter of a century--and you haven't learnt that no position is impregnable against--er--the sex! You never know where the offensive will come, nor when, nor how. The offensive is bound to be a surprise. You aren't married. When you are you'll soon find out that being a husband is a whole-time job. That's why so many husbands fail. They can't give their entire attention to it. Tranto, my position must be still further strengthened--during dinner. It can't be strengthened too much. I've brought you into the conspiracy because you're on the spot and I want you to play up. TRANTO. Certainly, sir. CULVER. The official letter might come by to-night's post. If it does, a considerable amount of histrionic skill will be needed. TRANTO. Trust me for that. CULVER. Oh! I do! Indeed I fancy after all I'm fairly safe. There's only one danger. TRANTO. Yes? CULVER. My--I mean the sex, must hear of the offered title from me first. If the news came to her indirectly she'd-- Enter Mrs. Culver rapidly, back. MRS. CULVER (rushing to him). Darling! Dearest! What a tease you are! You needn't pretend any longer. Lady Prockter has just whispered to me over the telephone that you're to have a baronetcy. Of course she'd be bound to know. She said I might tell you. I never dreamed of a title. I'm so glad. Oh! But you are a tease! (Kisses him enthusiastically.) CURTAIN. ACT II ACT II The next day after dinner. Culver and Parlourmaid. CULVER (handing Parlourmaid a letter). That's for the post. Is Miss Starkey here? PARLOURMAID. Yes, sir. She is waiting. CULVER. Ask her to be good enough to keep on waiting. She may come in when I ring twice. PARLOURMAID. Yes, sir. Enter Mrs. Culver, back. MRS. CULVER (to Parlourmaid, stopping her as she goes out, dramatically). Give me that letter. (She snatches the letter from the Parlourmaid.) You can go. (Culver rises.) (Exit Parlourmaid.) MRS. CULVER. I am determined to make a stand this time. CULVER (soothingly). So I see, darling. MRS. CULVER. I have given way to you all my life. But I won't give way now. This letter shall not go. CULVER. As you like, darling. MRS. CULVER. No. (She tears the envelope open, without having looked at it, and throws the letter into the fire. In doing so she lets fall a cheque.) CULVER (rising and picking up the cheque). I'll keep the cheque as a memento. MRS. CULVER. Cheque? What cheque? CULVER. Darling, once in the old, happy days--I think it was last week--you and I were walking down Bond Street, almost hand in hand, but not quite, and you saw a brooch in a shop window. You simply had to have that brooch. I offered it to you for a Christmas present. You are wearing it now, and very well it suits you. This (indicating the cheque) was to pay the bill. MRS. CULVER. Arthur! CULVER. Moral: Look before you burn. Miss Starkey will now have to write a fresh letter. MRS. CULVER. Arthur! You must forgive me. I'm in a horrid state of nerves, and you said you were positively going to write to Lord Woking to-night to refuse the title. CULVER. I did say so. MRS. CULVER (hopefully). But you haven't written? CULVER. I haven't. MRS. CULVER. You don't know how relieved I am! CULVER (sitting down, drawing her to him, and setting her on his knee). Infant! Cherub! Angel! Dove!... Devil! (Caressing her.) Are we friends? MRS. CULVER. It kills me to quarrel with you. (They kiss.) CULVER. Darling, we are absurd. MRS. CULVER. I don't care. CULVER. Supposing that anyone came in and caught us! MRS. CULVER. Well, we're married. CULVER.--But it's so long since. Hildegarde's twenty-one! John, seventeen! MRS. CULVER. It seems to me like yesterday. CULVER. Yes, you're incurably a girl. MRS. CULVER. I'm not. CULVER. You are. And I'm a boy. I say we are absurd. We're continually absurd. We were absurd all last evening when we pretended before the others, with the most disastrous results, that nothing was the matter. We were still more absurd when we went to our twin beds and argued savagely with each other from bed to bed until four o'clock this morning. Do you know that I had exactly one hour and fifty-five minutes' sleep? (Yawns.) Do you know that owing to extreme exhaustion my behaviour at my office to-day has practically lost the war? But the most absurd thing of all was you trying to do the Roman matron business at dinner to-night. Mind you, I adore you for being absurd, but-- MRS. CULVER (very endearingly, putting her hand on his mouth). Dearest, you needn't continue. I know you're wiser and stronger than me in every way. But I love that. Most women wouldn't; but I do. (Kisses him.) Oh! I'm so glad you've at last seen the force of my arguments about the title. CULVER (gently warning). Now, now! You're behaving like a journalist. MRS. CULVER. Like a journalist? CULVER. Journalists say a thing that they know isn't true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true. MRS. CULVER. But you do see the force of my arguments! CULVER. Quite. But I also see the force of mine, and, as an impartial judge, I'm bound to say that yours aren't in it with mine. MRS. CULVER. Then you've refused the title after all? CULVER (ingratiatingly). No. I told you I hadn't. But I'm going to. I was just thinking over the terms of the fatal letter to Lord Woking when you came in. Starkey is now waiting for me to dictate it. You see it positively must be posted to-night. MRS. CULVER (springing from his knee). Arthur, you're playing with me! CULVER. No doubt. Like a mouse plays with a cat. MRS. CULVER. Surely it has occurred to you-- CULVER (firmly, but very pleasantly). Stop! You had till four o'clock this morning to deliver all your arguments. You aren't going to begin again. I understand you've stayed in bed all day. Quite right! But if you stayed in bed merely to think of fresh arguments while I've been slaving away at the office for my country, I say you're taking an unfair advantage of me, and I won't have it. MRS. CULVER (with dignity). No. I haven't any fresh arguments; and if I had, I shouldn't say what they were. CULVER. Oh! Why? MRS. CULVER. Because I can see it's useless to argue with a man like you. CULVER. Now that's what I call better news from the Front. MRS. CULVER. I was only going to say this. Surely it has occurred to you that on patriotic grounds alone you oughtn't to refuse the title. I quite agree that Honours have been degraded. Quite! The thing surely is to try and make them respectable again. And how are they ever to be respectable if respectable men refuse them? CULVER. This looks to me suspiciously like an argument. MRS. CULVER. Not at all. It's simply a question. CULVER. Well, the answer is, I don't want Honours to be respectable any more. Proverb: When fish has gone bad ten thousand decent men can't take away the stink. MRS. CULVER. Now you're insulting your country. I know you often pretend your country's the slackest place on earth, but it's only pretence. You don't really think so. The truth is that inside you you're positively conceited about your country. You think it's the greatest country that ever was. And so it is. And yet when your country offers you this honour you talk about bad fish. I say it's an insult to Great Britain. CULVER. Great Britain hasn't offered me any title. The fact is that there are a couple of shrewd fellows up a devil of a tree in Whitehall, and they're waving a title at me in the hope that I shall come and stand under the tree so that they can get down by putting their dirty boots on my shoulders. Well, I'm not going to be a ladder. MRS. CULVER. I wish you wouldn't try to be funny. CULVER. I'm not trying to be funny. I am being funny. MRS. CULVER. You might be serious for once. CULVER. I am serious. Beneath this amusing and delightful exterior, there is hidden the most serious, determined, resolute, relentless, inexorable, immovable man that ever breathed. And let me tell you something else, my girl--something I haven't mentioned before because of my nice feelings. What has this title affair got to do with you? What the dickens has it got to do with you? The title isn't offered as a reward for your work; it's offered as a reward for my work. You aren't the Controller of Accounts, I happen to be the Controller of Accounts. I have decided to refuse the title, and I shall refuse it. Nothing will induce me to accept it. Do I make myself clear, or (smiling affectionately) am I lost in a mist of words? MRS. CULVER (suddenly furious). You are a brute. You always were. You never think of anybody but yourself. My life has been one long sacrifice, and you know it perfectly well. Perfectly well! You talk about your work. What about my work? Why! You'd be utterly useless without me. You can't even look after your own collars. Could you go down to your ridiculous office without a collar? I've done everything for you, everything! And now! (Weeping). I can't even be called 'my lady.' I only wanted to hear the parlourmaid call me 'my lady.' It seems a simple enough thing-- CULVER (persuasively and softly, trying to seize her). You divine little snob! MRS. CULVER (in a supreme, blazing outbreak escaping him). Let me alone! I told you at the start I should never give way. And I never will. Never! If you send that letter of refusal, do you know what I shall do? I shall go and see the War Cabinet myself. I shall tell them you don't mean it. I'll make the most horrible scandal.... When I think of the Duke of Wellington-- CULVER (surprised and alarmed). The Duke of Wellington? MRS. CULVER (drawing herself up at the door, L). The Duke of Wellington didn't refuse a title! Hildegarde shall sleep in our room, and you can have hers! (Exit violently, L.) CULVER (intimidated, as she goes). Look here, hurricane! (He rushes out after her.) Enter Hildegarde and Tranto, back. HILDEGARDE (seeing the room empty). Well, I thought I heard them. TRANTO (catching noise of high words from the boudoir.) I fancy I do hear them. HILDEGARDE. Perhaps we'd better go. TRANTO. But I want to speak to you--just for a moment. HILDEGARDE (moving uneasily). What about? TRANTO. I don't know. Anything. It doesn't matter what ... I don't hear them now. HILDEGARDE (listening and hearing nothing; reassured). I should have thought you wouldn't have wanted to come here any more for a long time. TRANTO. Why? HILDEGARDE. After the terrible experiences of last night, during dinner and after dinner. TRANTO. The general constraint? HILDEGARDE. The general constraint. TRANTO. The awkwardness? HILDEGARDE. The awkwardness. TRANTO. The frightful silences and the forced conversations? HILDEGARDE (nods). Why did you come? TRANTO. Well-- HILDEGARDE. I suppose you're still confined to this house. TRANTO (in a new confidential tone). I wish you'd treat me as your father does. HILDEGARDE. But of course I will-- TRANTO. That's fine. He treats me as an intimate friend. HILDEGARDE. But you must treat me as you treat papa. TRANTO (slightly dashed). I'll try. I might tell you that I had two very straight talks with your father last night. HILDEGARDE. Two? TRANTO. Yes; one before dinner, and the other just before I left--when you'd gone to bed. He began them--both of them. HILDEGARDE. Oh! So that you may be said to know the whole situation. TRANTO. Yes. Up to last thing last night, that is. HILDEGARDE. Since then it's developed on normal lines. What do you think of it? TRANTO. I adore your mother, but I think your father's quite right. HILDEGARDE. Well, naturally! I take that for granted. I was expecting something rather more original. TRANTO. You shall have it. I think that you and I are very largely responsible for the situation. I think our joint responsibility binds us inextricably together. HILDEGARDE. Mr. Tranto! TRANTO. Certainly. There's no doubt in my mind that your father was enormously influenced by Sampson Straight's article on the Honours scandal. In fact he told me so. And seeing that you wrote it and I published it-- HILDEGARDE (alarmed). You didn't tell him I'm Sampson Straight? TRANTO. Can you imagine me doing such a thing? HILDEGARDE. I hope not. Shall I tell you what I think of the situation? TRANTO. I wish you would. HILDEGARDE. I think such situations would never arise if parents weren't so painfully unromantic. I'm not speaking particularly of papa and mamma. I mean all parents. But take mamma. She's absolutely matter-of-fact. And papa's nearly as bad. Of course I know they're always calling each other by pet names; but that's mere camouflage for their matter-of-factness. Whereas if they both had in them a little of the real romance of life--everything would be different. At the same time I needn't say that in this affair that we're now in the middle of--there's no question of ratiocination. TRANTO. Of what? HILDEGARDE. Ratiocination. Reasoning. On either side. TRANTO. Oh no! HILDEGARDE. It's simply a question of mutual attitude, isn't it? Now, if only--. But there! What's the use? Parents are like that, poor dears! They have forgotten! (With emphasis.) They have forgotten--what makes life worth living. TRANTO. You mean, for instance, your mother never sits on your father's knee. HILDEGARDE (bravely, after hesitation). Yes! Crudely--that's what I do mean. TRANTO. Miss Hildegarde, you are the most marvellous girl I ever met. You are, really! You seem to combine all qualities. It's amazing to me. I'm more and more astounded. Every time I come here there's a fresh revelation. Now you mention romance. I'm glad you mentioned it first. But I saw it first. I saw it in your eyes the first time I ever met you. Yes! Miss Hilda, do you see it in mine? Look. Look closely. (Approaching her.) Because it's there. I must tell you. I can't wait any longer. (Feeling for her hand, vainly.) HILDEGARDE (drawing back). Mr. Tranto, is this the way you treat father? Enter Mr. Culver, back. CULVER (quickly). Hilda, go to your mother. She's upstairs. HILDEGARDE. What am I to do? CULVER. I don't know. (With meaning.) Think what the sagacious Sampson Straight would do, and do that. (Hildegarde gives a sharp look first at Culver, and then at Tranto, and exit, back.) CULVER (turning to Tranto). My dear fellow, the war is practically over. TRANTO. Good heavens! There was nothing on the tape when I left the Club. CULVER. Oh! I don't mean your war. I mean the twenty-two years' war. TRANTO. The twenty-two years' war? CULVER. My married life. Over! Finished! Napoo! TRANTO. Do you know what you're saying? CULVER. Look here, Tranto. You and I don't belong to the same generation. In fact, if I'd started early enough I might have been your father. But we got so damned intimate last night, and I'm in such a damned hole, and you're so damned wise, that I feel I must talk to you. Not that it'll be any use. TRANTO. But what's the matter? CULVER. The matter is--keeping a woman in the house. TRANTO. Mr. Culver! You don't mean-- CULVER. I mean my wife--of course. I've just had the most ghastly rumpus with my wife. It was divided into two acts. The first took place here, the second in the boudoir (indicating boudoir). The second act was the shortest but the worst. TRANTO. But what was it all about? CULVER. Now for heaven's sake don't ask silly questions. You know perfectly well what it was about. It was about the baronetcy. I have decided to refuse that baronetcy, and my wife has refused to let me refuse it. TRANTO. But what are her arguments? CULVER. I've implored you once not to ask silly questions. 'What are her arguments' indeed! She hasn't got any arguments. You know that. You're too wise not to know it. She merely wants the title, that's all. TRANTO. And how did the second act end? CULVER. I don't quite remember. TRANTO. Let me suggest that you sit down. (Culver sits.) Thanks. Now I've always gathered from my personal observation, that you, if I may say so, are the top dog here when it comes to the point--the crowned head, as it were. CULVER. Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. At least, it did last night, and I shall be greatly surprised if it doesn't to-night. TRANTO. Naturally. A crown isn't a night-cap. But you are the top dog. In the last resort, what you say, goes. That is so, isn't it? I only want to be clear. CULVER. Yes, I think that's pretty right. TRANTO. Well, you have decided on public grounds, and as a question of principle, to refuse the title. You intend to refuse it. CULVER. I--I do. TRANTO. Nobody can stop you from refusing it. CULVER. Nobody. TRANTO. Mrs. Culver can't stop you from refusing it? CULVER. Certainly not. It concerns me alone. TRANTO. Well, then, where is the difficulty? A rumpus--I think you said. What of that? My dear Mr. Culver, believe me, I have seen far more of marriage than you have. You're only a married man. I'm a bachelor, and I've assisted at scores of married lives. A rumpus is nothing. It passes--and leaves the victor more firmly established than ever before. CULVER (rising). Don't talk to me of rumpuses. I know all about rumpuses. This one is an arch-rumpus. This one is like no other rumpus that ever was. It's something new in my vast experience. I shall win. I have won. But at what cost? (With effect.) The cost may be that I shall never kiss the enemy again. The whole domestic future is in grave jeopardy. TRANTO. Seriously? CULVER. Seriously. TRANTO. Then you musn't win. CULVER. But what about my public duty? What about my principles? I can't sacrifice my principles. TRANTO. Why not? CULVER. I never have. TRANTO. How old are you? CULVER. Forty-four. TRANTO. And you've never sacrificed a principle? CULVER. Never. TRANTO. Then it's high time you began. And you'd better begin, before it's too late. Besides, there are no principles in married life. CULVER. Tranto, you are remarkable. How did you find that out? TRANTO. I've often noticed it. CULVER. It's a profound truth. It throws a new light on the entire situation. TRANTO. It does. CULVER. Then you deliberately advise me to give way about the title? TRANTO. I do. CULVER. Strange! (Casually.) I had thought of doing so, but I never dreamt you'd agree, and I'd positively determined to act on your advice. You know, you're taking an immense responsibility. TRANTO. I can bear that. What I couldn't bear is any kind of real trouble in this house. CULVER. Why? What's it got to do with you? TRANTO. Nothing! Nothing! Only my abstract interest in the institution of marriage. CULVER (ringing the bell twice). Ah, well, after all, I'm not utterly beaten yet. I've quite half an hour before post goes, and I shall fight to the last ditch. TRANTO. But hasn't Mrs. Culver retired? CULVER. Yes. TRANTO. May I suggest that it would be mistaken tactics to--er--run after her? CULVER. It would. TRANTO. Well then? CULVER. She will return. TRANTO. How do you know? CULVER. She always does.... No, Tranto, I may yet get peace on my own terms. You see I'm an accountant. No ordinary people, accountants! For one thing they make their money by counting other people's. I've known accountants do marvellous stunts. Enter Miss Starkey, back. TRANTO. I'll leave you. CULVER. You'll find John somewhere about. I shan't be so very long--I hope. Miss Starkey, kindly take down these two letters. How much time have we before post goes? (Exit Tranto, back.) MISS STARKEY. Forty minutes. CULVER. Excellent. MISS STARKEY (indicating some papers which she has brought). These things ought to be attended to to-night. CULVER. Possibly. But they won't be. MISS STARKEY. The Rosenberg matter is very urgent. He leaves for Glasgow to-morrow. CULVER. I wish he'd leave for Berlin. I won't touch it to-night. Please take down these two letters. MISS STARKEY. Then it will be necessary for you to be at the office at 9.30 in the morning. CULVER. I decline to be at the office at 9.30 in the morning. MISS STARKEY. But I've an appointment for you. I was afraid you wouldn't do anything to-night. CULVER (resigned). Very well! Very well! Tell them to call me, and see cook about breakfast. (Beginning to dictate.) 'My dear Lord Woking'-- MISS STARKEY (sitting). Excuse me, is this letter about the title? CULVER. Yes. MISS STARKEY. Then it ought to be an autograph letter. That's the etiquette. CULVER. How do you know? MISS STARKEY. General knowledge. CULVER. In this case the rule will be broken. That's flat. MISS STARKEY. Then I must imitate your handwriting. CULVER. Can you? MISS STARKEY. You ought to know, Mr. Culver--by this time. CULVER. I don't know officially. However, have your own way. Forge the whole thing, signature and all. I don't care. 'My dear Lord Woking. Extreme pressure of--er--government business has compelled me to leave till last thing to-night my reply to your letter in which you are good enough to communicate to me the offer of a baronetcy. I cannot adequately express to you my sense of the honour in contemplation, but, comma, for certain personal reasons with which I need not trouble you, comma, I feel bound, with the greatest respect and the greatest gratitude, to ask to be allowed to refuse. (Miss Starkey shows emotion.) I am sure I can rely on you to convey my decision to the proper quarter with all your usual tact. Believe me, my dear Lord Woking, Cordially yours.' (To Miss Starkey.) What in heaven's name is the matter with you? MISS STARKEY. Mr. Culver. I shall have to give you a month's notice. CULVER (staggered). Have--have you gone mad too? MISS STARKEY. Not that I am aware of. But I must give a month's notice--for certain personal reasons with which I need not trouble you. CULVER. Young woman, you know that you are absolutely indispensable to me. You know that without you I should practically cease to exist. I am quite open with you as to that--and as to everything. You are acquainted with the very depths of my character and the most horrible secrets of my life. I conceal nothing from you, and I demand that you conceal nothing from me. What are your reasons for giving me notice in this manner? MISS STARKEY. My self respect would not allow me to remain with a gentleman who had refused a title. Oh, Mr. Culver, to be the private secretary to a baronet has been my life's dream. And--and--I have just had the offer of a place where a peerage is in prospect. Still, I wouldn't have, taken even that if you had not--if you had not--(controlling herself, coldly). Kindly accept my notice. I give it at once because I shall have no time to lose for the peerage. CULVER. Miss Starkey, you drive me to the old, old conclusion--all women are alike. MISS STARKEY. Then my leaving will cause you no inconvenience, because you'll easily get another girl exactly like me. CULVER. You are a heartless creature. (In an ordinary voice.) Did we finish the first letter? This is the second one. (Dictates.) 'My dear Lord Woking'-- MISS STARKEY. But you've just given me that one. CULVER (firmly.) 'My dear Lord Woking.' Go on the same as the first one down to 'I cannot adequately express to you my sense of the honour in contemplation.' 'Full stop. I need hardly say that, in spite of my feeling that I have done only too little to deserve it, I accept it with the greatest pleasure and the greatest gratitude. Believe me, etc.' MISS STARKEY. But-- CULVER. Don't imagine that your giving me notice has affected me in the slightest degree. It has not. I told you I had two letters. I have not yet decided whether to accept or refuse the title. (Enter Mrs. Culver, back.) Go and copy both letters and bring them in to me in a quarter of an hour, whether I ring or not. That will give you plenty of time for post. Now--run! (Exit Miss Starkey, back. Culver rises, clears his throat, and obviously braces himself for a final effort of firmness. Mrs. Culver calmly rearranges some flowers in a vase.) Well, my dear, I was expecting you. MRS. CULVER (very sweetly), Arthur, I was wrong. CULVER (startled). Good God! (Mrs. Culver bends down to examine the upholstery of a chair. Culver gives a gesture, first of triumph, and then of apprehension.) MRS. CULVER (looking straight at him). I say I was wrong. CULVER (lightly, but uneasily). Oh no! Oh no! MRS. CULVER. Of course I don't mean wrong in my arguments about the title. Not for a moment. I mean I was wrong not to sacrifice my own point of view. I'm only a woman, and it's the woman's place to submit. So I do submit. Naturally I shall always be a true wife to you, but-- CULVER. Now child, don't begin to talk like that. I don't mind reading novels, but I won't have raw lumps of them thrown at me. MRS. CULVER (with a gentle smile), I must talk like this. I shall do everything I can to make you comfortable, and I hope nobody, and especially not the poor children, will notice any difference in our relations. CULVER (advancing, with a sort of menace). But? MRS. CULVER. But things can never be the same again. CULVER. I knew the confounded phrase was coming. I knew it. I've read it scores of times. (Picking up the vase.) Hermione, if you continue in that strain, I will dash this vase into a thousand fragments. MRS. CULVER (quietly taking the vase from him and putting it down). Arthur, I could have forgiven you everything. What do I care--really--about a title? (Falsely.) I only care for your happiness. But I can't forgive you for having laid a trap for me last night--and in front of the children and a stranger too. CULVER. Laid a trap for you? MRS. CULVER. You knew all about the title when you first came in last night and you deliberately led me on. CULVER. Oh! That! Ah well! One does what one can. You've laid many a trap for me, my girl. You're still about ten up and two to play in the trap game. MRS. CULVER. I've never laid a trap for you. CULVER. Fibster! Come here. (Mrs. Culver hesitates.) Come hither--and be kissed. (She approaches submissively, and then, standing like a marble statue, allows herself to be kissed. Culver assumes the attitude of the triumphant magnanimous male.) There! That's all right. MRS. CULVER (having moved away; still very sweetly and coldly). Can I do anything else for you before I go to bed? CULVER (ignoring the question; grandly and tolerantly). Do you suppose, my marble statue, that after all I've said at the Club about the rascality of this Honours business, I could ever have appeared there as a New Year Baronet? The thing's unthinkable. Why, I should have had to resign and join another Club! MRS. CULVER (calmly and severely). So that's it, is it? I might have known what was really at the bottom of it all. Your Club again! You have to choose between your wife and your Club, and of course it's your wife that must suffer. Naturally! CULVER. Go on! You'll be saying next that I've committed bigamy with my Club. MRS. CULVER (with youthful vivacity). I'm an old woman-- CULVER (flatteringly). Yes, look at you! Hag! When I fell in love with you your hair was still down. The marvel to me is that I ever let you put it up. MRS. CULVER. I'm only an old woman now. You have had the best part of my life. You might have given me great pleasure with this title. But no! Your Club comes first. And what a child you are! As if there's one single member of your Club who wouldn't envy you your baronetcy! However, I've nothing more to say. (Moving towards the door, back.) Oh yes, I have. (Casually.) I've decided to go away to-morrow and stay with grandma for a long holiday. She needs me, and if I'm not to break down entirely I must have a change. I've told Hildegarde our--arrangements. The poor girl's terribly upset. Please don't disturb me in the morning. I shall take the noon train. Good-night. CULVER. Hermione! MRS. CULVER (returning a little from the direction of the door, submissively). Yes, Arthur. CULVER. If you keep on playing the martyr much longer there will be bloodshed, and you'll know what martyrdom is. MRS. CULVER (in a slightly relenting tone). Arthur, you were always conscientious. Your conscience is working. CULVER. I have no conscience. Never had. MRS. CULVER (persuasively, and with much charm). Yes you have, and it's urging you to give way to your sensible little wife. You know you're only bluffing. CULVER. Indeed I'm not. MRS. CULVER. Yes, you are. Mr. Tranto advised you to give way, and you think such a lot of his opinion. CULVER. Who told you Tranto advised me to give way? MRS. CULVER. He did. CULVER. Damn him! MRS. CULVER (soothingly). Yes, yes. CULVER. No, no! MRS. CULVER. And your dear, indispensable Miss Starkey thinks the same. (She tries to kiss him.) CULVER. No, no! (Mrs. Culver succeeds in kissing him.) Enter Miss Starkey. (The other two spring apart. A short pause.) CULVER. Which is the refusal? MISS STARKEY. This one. CULVER. Put it in the fire. (Miss Starkey obeys. Both the women show satisfaction in their different ways.) Give me the acceptance. (He takes the letter of acceptance and reads it.) MRS. CULVER (while he is reading the letter). Miss Starkey, you look very pale. Have you had any dinner? MISS STARKEY. Not yet, madam. MRS. CULVER. You poor dear! (She strokes Miss Starkey. They both look at the tyrannical male.) I'll order something for you at once. MISS STARKEY. I shall have to go to the post first. CULVER (glancing up). I'll go to the post myself. I must have air, air! Where's the envelope? (Exit Miss Starkey quickly, back.) (Mrs. Culver gently takes the letter from her husband and reads it. Culver drops into a chair.) MRS. CULVER (putting down the letter). Darling! CULVER. I thought I was a brute? MRS. CULVER (caressing and kissing him). I do so love my brute, and I am so happy. Darling! But you are a silly old darling, wasting all this time. CULVER. Wasting all what time? MRS. CULVER. Why, the moment I came in again I could see you'd decided to give way. (With a gesture of delight.) I must run and tell the children. (Exit, L.) Enter Miss Starkey back. MISS STARKEY. Here's the envelope. CULVER (taking it). Tell them to get me my hat and overcoat. MISS STARKEY. Yes, Sir Arthur. (Culver starts.) (Exit Miss Starkey, back.) CULVER (as he puts the letter in the envelope; with an air of discovery). I suppose I do like being called 'Sir Arthur.' Enter Hildegard and John both disgusted, back. JOHN (to Hildegarde, as they come in). I told you last night he couldn't control even the mater. However, I'll be even with her yet. CULVER. What do you mean, boy? JOHN. I mean I'll be even with the mater yet. You'll see. HILDEGARDE. Papa, you've behaved basely. Basely! What an example to us! I intend to leave this house and live alone. CULVER. You ought to marry Mr. Sampson Straight. (Hildegarde starts and is silent.) JOHN. Fancy me having to go back to school the son of a rotten baronet, and with the frightful doom of being a rotten baronet myself. What price the anti-hereditary-principle candidate! Dad, I hope you won't die just yet--it would ruin my political career. Stay me with flagons! CULVER. Me too! CURTAIN. ACT III ACT III The next day, before lunch. Hildegarde and John are together. JOHN (nervously impatient). I wish she'd come. HILDEGARDE. She'll be here in a moment. She's fussing round dad. JOHN. Is he really ill? HILDEGARDE. Well of course. It came on in the night, after he'd had time to think things over. Why? JOHN. I read in some paper about the Prime Minister having only a political chill. So I thought perhaps the pater--under the circs-- HILDEGARDE (shaking her head). You can't have political dyspepsia. Can't fake the symptoms. Who is to begin this affair, you or me? JOHN. Depends. What line are you going on with her? HILDEGARDE. I'm going to treat her exactly as she treats me. I've just thought of it. Only I shan't lose my temper. JOHN. Sugarsticks? HILDEGARDE. Yes. JOHN. You'll never be able to keep it up. HILDEGARDE. O yes I shall. Somehow I feel much more mature than I did yesterday. JOHN. More mature? Stay me with flagons! I was always mature. If you knew what rot I think school is...! Well, anyway, you can begin. HILDEGARDE. You're very polite to-day, Johnnie. JOHN. Don't mention it. My argument 'll be the best, and I want to keep it for the end, that's all. HILDEGARDE. Thanks. But I bet you we shall both fail. JOHN. Well, if we do, I've still got something else waiting for her ladyship. A regular startler, my child. HILDEGARDE. What is it? Enter Mrs. Culver, back. JOHN (to Hildegarde, as Mrs. Culver enters). Wait and see. MRS. CULVER (cheerful and affectionate, to John). So you've come in. (To Hildegarde.) You are back early to-day! Well, my darlings, what do you want me for? HILDEGARDE (imitating her mothers manner). Well, mamma darling, we hate bothering you. We know you've got quite enough worries, without having any more. But it's about this baronetcy business. (Mrs. Culver starts.) Do be an angel and listen to us. MRS. CULVER (with admirable self-control). Of course, my pet. But you know the matter is quite, quite settled. Your father and I settled it together last night, and the letter of acceptance is in the hands of the Government by this time. JOHN. It isn't, mater. It's here. (Pulls the letter out of his pocket.) MRS. CULVER. John! What-- JOHN. Now, now, mater! Keep calm. This is really your own doing. Pater wanted to go to the post himself, but it was raining a bit, and you're always in such a fidget about his getting his feet wet you wouldn't let him go, and so I went instead. HILDEGARDE. Yes, mummy darling, you must acknowledge that you were putting temptation in Johnnie's way. JOHN. Soon as I got outside, I said to myself: 'I think the pater ought to have a night to think over this affair. It's very important. And he can easily send round an answer by hand in the morning.' So I didn't post the letter. I should have told you earlier, but you weren't down for breakfast, and I had to go out afterwards on urgent private business. MRS. CULVER. But--but--(Controlling herself, grieved, but kind.) Your father will be terribly angry. I daren't face him. JOHN (only half-suppressing his amusement at the last remark). Don't let that worry you. I'll face him. He'll be delighted. He'll write another letter, and quite a different one. MRS. CULVER (getting firmer). But don't I tell you, my dearest boy, that the affair is settled, quite settled? JOHN. It isn't settled so long as I've got this letter, anyway. HILDEGARDE. Of course it isn't settled. Mother darling, we simply must look the facts in the face. Fact one, the letter is here. Fact two, the whole family is most frightfully upset. Dad's ill-- MRS. CULVER. That was the lobster. JOHN. It wasn't. MRS. CULVER. Yes, dear. Lobster always upsets him. JOHN. It didn't this time. MRS. CULVER. How do you know? JOHN. I know, because I ate all his lobster. He shoved it over to me. You couldn't see for the fruit-bowl. HILDEGARDE. No, mamma sweetest. It's this baronetcy business that's knocked poor papa over. And it's knocked over Johnnie and me too. I'm perfectly, perfectly sure you acted for the best, but don't you think you persuaded father against his judgment? Not to speak of our judgment! MRS. CULVER. I've only one thought-- HILDEGARDE (caressing and kissing her mother). I know! I know! Father's happiness. Our happiness. Mamma, please don't imagine for a single instant that we don't realise that. You're the most delicious darling of an old mater-- MRS. CULVER (slightly suspicious). Hildegarde, you're quite a different girl to-day. HILDEGARDE (nods). I've aged in a single night. I've become ever so serious. This baronetcy business has shown me that I've got convictions--and deep convictions. I admit I'm a different girl to-day. But then everything's different to-day. The whole house is different. Johnnie's different. Papa's missed going to the office for the first time in eight months. (Very sweetly.) Surely you must see, mamma, that something ought to be done, and that you alone can do it. MRS. CULVER. What? What ought I to do? HILDEGARDE. Go upstairs and tell dad you've changed your mind about the title, and advise him to write off instantly and refuse it. You know you always twist him round your little finger. MRS. CULVER (looking at her little finger). I shouldn't dream of trying to influence your father once he had decided. And he has decided. HILDEGARDE (sweetly). Mamma, you're most tremendously clever--far cleverer than any of us--but I'm not sure if you understand the attitude of the modern girl towards things that affect her convictions. MRS. CULVER (sweetly). Are you the modern girl. HILDEGARDE. Yes. MRS. CULVER. Well, I'm the ancient girl. And I can tell you this--you're very like me, and we're both very like somebody else. HILDEGARDE. Who's that. MRS. CULVER. Eve. JOHN. Come, mater. Eve would never have learnt typewriting. She'd have gone on the land. MRS. CULVER. John, your sister and I are not jesting. HILDEGARDE. I'm so glad you admit I'm serious, mamma. Because I am--very. I don't want to threaten-- MRS. CULVER. Threaten, darling? HILDEGARDE (firmly, but quite lightly and sweetly). No, darling. Not to threaten. The mere idea of threatening is absurd. But it would be extremely unfair to you not to tell you that unless you agree to father refusing the title, I shall have to leave the house and live by myself. I really shall. Of course I can easily earn my own living. I quite see that you have principles. But I also have principles. If they clash--naturally it's my place to retire. And I shall, mamma dearest. MRS. CULVER. Is that final? HILDEGARDE. Final, mummy darling. MRS. CULVER. Then, my dearest child, you must go. HILDEGARDE (still sweetly). Is that final? MRS. CULVER (still sweetly). Final, my poor pet. JOHN (firmly). Now let me say a word. MRS. CULVER (benignly). And what have you got to say in the matter? You've already been very naughty about that letter. Do try not to be ridiculous. Give me the letter. This affair has nothing to do with you. JOHN (putting the letter in his pocket). Nothing whatever to do with me! Mater, you really are a bit too thick. If it was a knighthood, I wouldn't care. You could have your blooming knighthood. Knighthoods do come to an end. Baronetcies go on for ever. I've told the dad, and I'll tell you, that I will not have my political career ruined by any baronetcy. And if you insist--may I respectfully inform you what I shall do? May I respectfully inform you--may I? MRS. CULVER. John! JOHN. I shall chuck Siege and go into the Flying Corps. And that's flat. If you really want to shorten my life, all you have to do is to stick to that bally baronetcy. MRS. CULVER. Your father won't allow you to join the Flying Corps. JOHN. My father can't stop me. I know the mess is expensive, but the pay's good, and I've got L150 of my own. Not a fortune! Not a fortune! But enough, quite enough. A short life and a merry one. I went to see Captain Skewes at the Automobile this morning. One of our old boys. He's delighted. He gave me Lanchester's 'Aircraft in Warfare' to read. Here it is. (Picking up the book.) Here it is! I shall be sitting up all night to-night reading it. A short life and a merry one. MRS. CULVER. You don't mean it! JOHN. I absolutely do. MRS. CULVER (after a pause). John, you're trying to bully your mother. JOHN. Not in the least, mater. I'm merely telling you what will happen if father accepts that piffling baronetcy. MRS. CULVER (checking a tear; very sweetly). Well, my pets, you make life just a little difficult for me. I live only for you and your father. I think first of your father, and then of you two. For myself, I am perfectly indifferent. I consider all politics extremely silly. There never were any in my family, nor in your father's. And to me it's most extraordinary that your father should catch them so late in life. I always supposed that after thirty people were immune. (To John.) You, I suppose, were bound to have them sooner or later, but that Hilda should go out of her way to contract them--well, it passes me. It passes me. However, I've no more to say. Your father had made up his mind to accept the title. You want him to refuse it. I hate to influence him (Hildegarde again hides a cynical smile) but for your sakes I'll try to persuade him to alter his decision and refuse it. JOHN (taking her arm). Come along then--now! I'll go with you to see fair play. (He opens the door, L, and Mrs. Culver passes out. Then stopping in the doorway, to Hildegarde) Who did the trick? I say--who did the trick? HILDEGARDE (nicely). Pooh! You may be a prefect at school. But here you're only mamma's wee lamb! (She drops on to the sofa.) JOHN (singing triumphantly). Stay--me--with fla--gons! (Exit John, L.) Enter Tranto, back, shown in by the Parlourmaid. TRANTO. How d'ye do, Miss Hilda. I'm in a high state of nerves. HILDEGARDE (shaking hands weakly). We all are. TRANTO (ignoring what she says). I've come specially to see you. HILDEGARDE. But how did you know I should be here--at this time? I'm supposed to be at the Food Ministry till one o'clock? TRANTO. I called for you at the Ministry. HILDEGARDE (leaning forward). That's quite against the rules. The rules are made for the moral protection of the women-clerks. TRANTO. They told me you'd left early. HILDEGARDE. Why did you call? TRANTO. Shall I be frank? HILDEGARDE. Are you ever? TRANTO. I wanted to walk home with you. HILDEGARDE. Are you getting frightened about that next article of mine? TRANTO. No. I've lost all interest in articles. HILDEGARDE. Even in my articles? TRANTO. Even in yours. I'm only interested in the writer of your articles. (Agitated.) Miss Hilda, the hour is about to strike. HILDEGARDE. What hour? TRANTO. Listen, please. Let me explain. The situation is this. Instinct has got hold of me. When I woke up this morning something inside me said: 'You must call at the Ministry for that young woman and walk home with her.' This idea seemed marvellously beautiful to me; it seemed one of the most enchanting ideas that had ever entered the heart of man. I thought of nothing else all the morning. When I reached the Ministry and you'd gone, I felt as if I'd been shot. Then I rushed here. If you hadn't been at home I don't know what I should have done. My fever has been growing every moment. Providentially you are here. I give you fair warning that I'm utterly in the grip of an instinct which is ridiculously unconventional and which will brook no delay. I repeat, the hour is about to strike. HILDEGARDE (rousing herself). Before it actually strikes, I want to ask a question. TRANTO. But that's just what I want to do. HILDEGARDE. Please. One moment of your valuable time. TRANTO. The whole of my life. HILDEGARDE. Last night, why did you advise papa to give way to mamma and accept the baronetcy? TRANTO. Did I? HILDEGARDE. It seems so. TRANTO. Well--er-- HILDEGARDE. You know it's quite against his principles, and against mine and Johnnie's, not to speak of yours. TRANTO. The fact is, you yourself had given me such an account of your mother's personality that I felt sure she'd win anyhow; and--and--for reasons of my own, I wished to be on the winning side. No harm in that, surely. And as regards principles, I have a theory about principles. Your father was much struck by it when I told him. HILDEGARDE. Namely? TRANTO. There are no principles in married life. HILDEGARDE. Oh, indeed! Well, there may not be any principles in your married life, but there most positively will be in mine, if I ever have a married life. And let me tell you that you aren't on the winning side after all--you're on the losing side. TRANTO. How? Has your-- HILDEGARDE. Johnnie and I have had a great interview with mamma, and she's yielded. She's abandoned the baronetcy. In half an hour from now the baronetcy will have been definitely and finally refused. TRANTO. Great Scott! HILDEGARDE. You're startled? TRANTO. No! After all, I might have foreseen that you'd come out on top. The day before yesterday your modesty was making you say that your mother could eat you. I, on the contrary, insisted that you could eat your mother. Who was right? I ask: who was right? When it really comes to the point--well, you have a serious talk with your mother, and she gives in! HILDEGARDE (gloomily). No! I didn't do it. I tried, and failed. Then Johnnie tried, and did it without the slightest trouble. A schoolboy! That's why I'm so upset. TRANTO (shaking his head). You musn't tell me that, Miss Hilda. Of course it was you that did it. HILDEGARDE (impatiently; standing up). But I do tell you. TRANTO. Sorry! Sorry! Do be merciful! My feelings about you at this very moment are so, if I may use the term, unbridled-- HILDEGARDE (with false gentle calm). And that's not all. I suppose you haven't by any chance told father that I'm Sampson Straight? TRANTO. Certainly not. HILDEGARDE. You're sure? TRANTO. Absolutely. HILDEGARDE. Well, I'm sorry. TRANTO. Why? HILDEGARDE (quietly sarcastic). Because papa told me you did tell him. Therefore father is a liar. I don't like being the daughter of a liar. I hate liars. TRANTO. Aren't you rather cutting yourself off from mankind? HILDEGARDE (going straight on). For the last day or two father had been giving me such queer little digs every now and then that I began to suspect he knew who Sampson Straight was. So I asked him right out this morning--he was in bed--and he had to acknowledge he did know and that you told him. TRANTO. Well, I didn't exactly tell him. He sort of guessed, and I-- HILDEGARDE (calmly, relentlessly). You told him. TRANTO. No. I merely admitted it. You think I ought to have denied it? HILDEGARDE. Of course you ought to have denied it. TRANTO. But it was true. HILDEGARDE. And if it was? TRANTO. If it was true, how could I deny it? You've just said you hate liars. HILDEGARDE (losing self-control). Please don't be absurd. TRANTO (a little nettled). I apologise. HILDEGARDE. What for? TRANTO. For having put you in the wrong. It's such shocking bad diplomacy for any man to put any woman in the wrong. HILDEGARDE (angrily). Man--woman! Man--woman! There you are! It's always the same with you males. Sex! Sex! Sex! TRANTO (quite conquering his annoyance; persuasively). But I'm fatally in love with you. HILDEGARDE. Well, of course there you have the advantage of me. TRANTO. Don't you care a little-- HILDEGARDE (letting herself go). Why should I care? What have I done to make you imagine I care? It's quite true that I've saved your newspaper from an early grave. It was suffering from rickets, spinal curvature, and softening of the brain; and I've performed a miraculous cure on it with my articles. I'm Sampson Straight. But that's not enough for you. You can't keep sentiment out of business. No man ever could. You'd like Sampson Straight to wear blouses and bracelets for you, and loll on sofas for you, and generally offer you the glad eye. It's an insult. And then on the top of all, you go and give the whole show away to papa, in spite of our understanding; and if papa hadn't been the greatest dear in the world you might have got me into the most serious difficulties. TRANTO (equably, after a pause), I don't think I'll ask myself to stay for lunch. HILDEGARDE. Good morning. TRANTO (near the door). I suppose I'd better announce that he's died very suddenly under mysterious circumstances? HILDEGARDE. Who? TRANTO. Sampson Straight. HILDEGARDE. And what about my new article, that you've got in hand? TRANTO. It can be a posthumous article, in a black border. HILDEGARDE. Indeed! And why shouldn't Sampson Straight transfer his services to another paper? There are several who'd jump at him. TRANTO. I never thought of that. HILDEGARDE. Naturally! TRANTO. He shall live. (A pause. Tranto bows, and exit, back.) (Hildegarde subsides once more on to the sofa.) Enter Culver, in his velvet coat, L. CULVER (softly, with sprightliness). Hello, Sampson! HILDEGARDE. Dad, please don't call me that. CULVER. Not when we're alone? Why? HILDEGARDE. I--I--Dad, I'm in a fearful state of nerves just now. Lost my temper and all sorts of calamities. CULVER. Really! I'd no idea. I gathered that the interview between you and your mother had passed quite smoothly. HILDEGARDE. Oh! That! CULVER. What do you mean--'Oh! That!'? HILDEGARDE (standing; in a new, less gloomy tone). Papa, what are you doing out of bed? You're very ill. CULVER. Well, I'd managed to dress before your mother and Johnnie came. As soon as they imparted to me the glad tidings that baronetcies were off I felt so well I decided to come down and thank you for your successful efforts on behalf of the family well-being. I'm no longer your father. I'm your brother. HILDEGARDE. It was Johnnie did it. CULVER. It wasn't--I know. HILDEGARDE (exasperated). I say it was! (Apologetically). So sorry, dad. (Kisses him). Where are they, those two? (Sits). CULVER. Mother and John? Don't know. I fancy somebody called as I came down. HILDEGARDE. Called! Before lunch! Who was it? CULVER. Haven't the faintest. Enter John, back. JOHN (proudly). I say, good people! New acquaintance of mine! Just looked in. Met him at the Automobile this morning with Skewes. I was sure you'd all give your heads to see the old chap, so I asked him to lunch on the chance. Dashed if he didn't accept! You see we'd been talking a bit about politics. He's the most celebrated man in London. I doubt if there's a fellow I admire more in the whole world--or you either. He's knocked the mater flat already. Between ourselves, I really asked him because I thought he might influence her on this baronetcy business. However, that's all off now. What are you staring at? CULVER. We're only bursting with curiosity to hear the name of this paragon of yours. As a general rule I like to know beforehand whom I'm going to lunch with in my own house. JOHN. It's Sampson Straight. HILDEGARDE (springing up). Sampson Str-- CULVER (calmly). Keep your nerve, Hilda. Keep your nerve. JOHN. I thought I wouldn't say anything till he'd actually arrived. He mightn't have come at all. Then what a fool I should have looked if I'd told you he was coming! Tranto himself doesn't know him. Tranto pooh-poohed the idea of me ever meeting him, Tranto did. Well, I've met him, and he's here. I haven't let on to him that I know Tranto. I'm going to bring them together and watch them both having the surprise of their lives. CULVER. John, this is a great score for you. I admit I've never been more interested in meeting anyone. Never! Enter Parlourmaid, back. PARLOURMAID. Miss Starkey, sir. CULVER (cheerfully). I'll see her soon. (Pulling himself up suddenly; in an alarmed, gloomy tone.) No, no! I can't possibly see her. PARLOURMAID. Miss Starkey says there are several important letters, sir. CULVER. No, no! I'm not equal to it. HILDEGARDE (confidentially). What's wrong, dad? CULVER (to Hildegarde). She'll give me notice the minute she knows she can't call me Sir Arthur. (Shudders.) I quail. Enter Mrs. Culver and Sampson Straight, back. (The Parlourmaid holds the door for them, and then exit.) MRS. CULVER. This is my husband. Arthur, dear--Mr. Sampson Straight. And this is my little daughter. (Hilda bows, John surveys the scene with satisfaction.) CULVER (recovering his equipoise; shaking hands heartily). Mr. Straight. Delighted to meet you. I simply cannot tell you how unexpected this pleasure is. STRAIGHT. You're too kind. CULVER (gaily). I doubt it. I doubt it. STRAIGHT. I ought to apologise for coming in like this. But I've been so charmingly received by Mrs. Culver-- MRS. CULVER. You've been so charming about my boy, Mr. Straight. STRAIGHT. I was so very greatly impressed by your son this morning at the Club that I couldn't resist the opportunity he gave me of visiting his home. What I say is: like parents, like child. I'm an old-fashioned man. MRS. CULVER. No one would guess that from your articles in The Echo. Of course they're frightfully clever, but you know I don't quite agree with all your opinions. STRAIGHT. Neither do I. You see--there's always a difference between what one thinks and what one has to write. MRS. CULVER. I'm so glad. (Culver starts and looks round.) What is it, Arthur? CULVER. Nothing! I thought I heard the ice cracking. (Hildegarde begins to smile.) STRAIGHT (looking at the floor; simply). Ice? MRS. CULVER. Arthur! STRAIGHT. It was still thawing when I came in. As I was saying, I'm an old-fashioned man. And I'm a provincial--and proud of it. MRS. CULVER. But my dear Mr. Straight, really, if you'll excuse me, you look as if you never left the pavement of Piccadilly. CULVER. Say the windows of the Turf club, darling. STRAIGHT (serenely). No. I live very, very quietly on my little place, and when I feel the need of contact with the great world I run over for the afternoon to--St. Ives. MRS. CULVER. How remarkable! Then that explains how it is you're so deliciously unspoilt. STRAIGHT. Do you mean my face? MRS. CULVER. I meant you don't seem at all to realise that you're a very great celebrity in London; very great indeed. A lion of the first order. STRAIGHT (simply). Lion? CULVER. You're expected to roar, Mr. Straight. STRAIGHT. Roar? MRS. CULVER. It may interest you to know that my little daughter also writes articles in The Echo. Yes, about war cookery. But of course you wouldn't notice them. (Hildegarde moves away.) I'm afraid (apologetically) your mere presence is making her just a wee bit nervous. HILDEGARDE (from a distance, striving to control herself). Oh, Mr. Sampson Straight. There's one question I've been longing to ask you. I always ask it of literary lions--and tigers. STRAIGHT. Tigers? HILDEGARDE. Do you write best in the morning or do you burn the midnight oil? STRAIGHT. Oil? MRS. CULVER. Do sit down, Mr. Straight. (She goes imploringly to Hildegarde, who has lost control of herself and is getting a little hysterical with mirth. Aside to Hildegarde.) Hilda! (John, puzzled and threatening, also approaches Hildegarde.) CULVER (sitting down by Straight.) And so, although you prefer a country life, the lure of London has been too strong for you in the end. STRAIGHT. I came to town on business. CULVER. Ah! STRAIGHT. The fact is, business of the utmost importance. Perhaps I may be able to interest you in it. CULVER. Now we're getting hotter. STRAIGHT. Hotter? CULVER. Go on, go on, Mr. Straight. STRAIGHT. To tell you the truth-- CULVER. Always a wise thing to do. STRAIGHT. One of my reasons for accepting your son's kind invitation was that I thought that conceivably you might be willing to help in a great patriotic scheme of mine. Naturally you show surprise. CULVER. Do I? Then I'm expressing myself badly. I'm not in the least surprised. It is the contrary that would have surprised me. STRAIGHT. We may possibly discuss it later. CULVER. Later? Why later? Why not at once? I'm full of curiosity. I hate to let the grass grow under my feet. STRAIGHT (looking at the floor). Grass? (With a faint mechanical laugh.) Ah yes, I see. Figure of speech. Well, I'm starting a little limited liability syndicate. CULVER. Precisely what I thought. Yes? STRAIGHT. The End-the-war Syndicate. JOHN (approaching). But surely you aren't one of those pacifists, Mr. Straight! You've always preached fighting it out to a finish. STRAIGHT. The object of my syndicate is certainly to fight to a finish, but to finish in about a week--by means of my little syndicate. CULVER. Splendid! But there is one draw-back. New capital issues are forbidden under the Defence of the Realm Act. STRAIGHT. Even when the object is to win the war? CULVER. My dear sir, the Treasury would never permit such a thing. STRAIGHT. Well, we needn't have a limited company. Perhaps after all it would be better to keep it quite private. CULVER. Oh! It would. And what is the central idea of this charming syndicate? STRAIGHT. The idea is--(looking round cautiously)--a new explosive. CULVER. Again, precisely what I thought. Your own invention? STRAIGHT. No. A friend of mine. It truly is the most marvellous explosive. CULVER. I suppose it bangs everything. STRAIGHT (simply). Oh, it does. A development of trinitrotoluol on new lines. I needn't say that my interest in the affair is purely patriotic. CULVER. Of course. Of course. STRAIGHT. I can easily get all the capital I need. CULVER. Of course. Of course. STRAIGHT. But I'm not in close touch with the official world, and in a matter of this kind official influence is absolutely essential to success. Now you are in touch with the official world. I shouldn't ask you to subscribe, though if you cared to do so there would be no objection. And I may say that the syndicate can't help making a tremendous lot of money. When I tell you that the new explosive is forty-seven times as powerful as trinitrotoluol itself-- CULVER. When you tell me that, Mr. Straight, I can only murmur the hope that you haven't got any of it in your pocket. STRAIGHT (simply). Oh, no! Please don't be alarmed. But you see the immense possibilities. You see how this explosive would end the war practically at once. And you'll understand, of course, that although my articles in The Echo have apparently caused considerable commotion in London, and given me a position which I am glad to be able to use for the service of the Empire, my interest in mere journalism as such has almost ceased since my friend asked me to be secretary and treasurer of the syndicate. CULVER. And so you're the secretary and treasurer? STRAIGHT. Yes. We don't want to have subscribers of less than L100 each. If you cared to look into the matter--I know you're very busy, but a mere glance-- CULVER. Just so--a mere glance. Enter Tranto excitedly. HILDEGARDE (nearer the door than the rest). Again? TRANTO (rather loudly and not specially to Hildegarde). Terrible news! I've just heard and I rushed back to tell you. Sampson Straight has died very suddenly in Cornwall. Bright's disease. He breathed his last in his own potato patch. (Aside to Hildegarde, in response to a gesture from her) I'm awfully sorry. The poor fellow simply had to expire. MRS. CULVER (to Tranto). Now this just shows how the most absurd rumours do get abroad! Here is Mr. Sampson Straight. I'm so glad you've come, because you've always wanted to meet him in the flesh. TRANTO (to Straight). Are you Sampson Straight? STRAIGHT. I am, sir. TRANTO. The Sampson Straight who lives in Cornwall? STRAIGHT. Just so. TRANTO. Impossible! STRAIGHT. Pardon me. One moment. I was told there was a danger of my being inconvenienced in London by one of these military raids for rounding up slackers, and as I happen to have a rather youthful appearance, I took the precaution of bringing with me my birth-certificate and registration card. (Produces them.) TRANTO (glancing at the card). And it's really you who write those brilliant articles in The Echo? STRAIGHT. 'Brilliant'--I won't say. But I do write them. TRANTO. Well, this is the most remarkable instance of survival after death that I ever came across. STRAIGHT. I beg your pardon. TRANTO. You're dead, my fine fellow. Your place isn't here. You ought to be in the next world. You're a humbug. STRAIGHT (to Mrs. Culver). I'm not quite sure that I understand. Will you kindly introduce me? MRS. CULVER. I'm so sorry. This is Mr. Tranto, proprietor and editor of The Echo--(apologetically, with an uneasy smile) a great humourist. STRAIGHT (thunderstruck; aside). Well, I'm damned! (His whole demeanour changes. Nevertheless, while tacitly admitting that he is found out, he at once resumes his mild calmness. To Culver.) I've just remembered an appointment of vital importance. I'm afraid our little talk about the syndicate must be adjourned. CULVER. I feared you might have to hurry away. (Straight bows as a preliminary to departure.) (John, deeply humiliated, averts his glance from everybody.) TRANTO. Here! But you can't go off like this. STRAIGHT. Why? Have you anything against me? TRANTO. Nothing (casually) except that you're an impostor. STRAIGHT. I fail to see it. TRANTO. But haven't you just said that you write those articles in my paper? STRAIGHT. Oh! That! Well, of course, if I'd known who you were I shouldn't have dreamed of saying any such thing. I always try to suit my talk to my company. TRANTO. This time you didn't quite bring it off. STRAIGHT. Perhaps I owe you some slight explanation (looking round blandly). CULVER. Do you really think so? STRAIGHT. The explanation is simplicity itself. (A sudden impulse.) Nothing but that. Put yourselves in my place. I come to London. I hear a vast deal of chatter about some articles in a paper called The Echo by some one calling himself 'Sampson Straight.' I also hear that nobody in London knows who Sampson Straight is. As I happen to be Sampson Straight, and as I have need of all possible personal prestige for the success of my purely patriotic mission, it occurs to me--in a flash!--to assert that I am the author of the famous articles.... Well, what more natural? CULVER. What indeed? STRAIGHT (to Tranto). And may I say that I'm the only genuine Sampson Straight in the United Kingdom, and that in my opinion it was a gross impertinence on the part of your contributor to steal my name? Why did you let him do it? TRANTO (beginning reflectively). Now I hit on that name--not my contributor. It was when I was down in Cornwall. I caught sight of it in an old yellow newspaper in an old yellow hotel, and it struck me at once what a fine signature it would make at the bottom of a slashing article. By the way, have you ever been in the dock? STRAIGHT. Dock? TRANTO. I only ask because I seem to remember I saw your splendid name in a report of the local Assizes. STRAIGHT. Assizes? TRANTO. A, double s (pause) i-z-e-s. STRAIGHT. I can afford to be perfectly open. I was--at one period of my career--in prison, but for a quite respectable crime. Bigamy--with extenuating circumstances. MRS. CULVER (greatly upset). Dear, dear! STRAIGHT. It might happen to any man. CULVER (looking at Mrs. Culver). So it might. STRAIGHT. Do you wish to detain me? TRANTO. I simply haven't the heart to do it. STRAIGHT. Then, ladies and gentlemen, I'll say good morning. HILDEGARDE (stopping Straight near the door as he departs with more bows). Good-bye! (She holds out her hand with a smile!) And good luck! STRAIGHT (taking her hand). Madam, I thank you. You evidently appreciate the fact that when one lives solely on one's wits, little mishaps are bound to occur from time to time, and that too much importance ought not to be attached to them. This is only my third slip, and I am fifty-five. (Exit, back.) MRS. CULVER (to Hildegarde, gently surprised). Darling, surely you need not have been quite so effusive! HILDEGARDE. You see, I thought I owed him something, (with meaning and effect) as it was I who stole his name. MRS. CULVER (utterly puzzled for a moment; then, when she understands, rushing to Hildegarde and embracing her). Oh! My wonderful girl! JOHN (feebly and still humiliated). Stay me with flagons! HILDEGARDE (to her mother). How nice you are about it, mamma! MRS. CULVER. But I'm very proud, my pet. Of course I think you might have let me into the secret-- CULVER. None of us were let into the secret, Hermione--I mean until comparatively recent times. It was a matter between Hilda's conscience and her editor. MRS. CULVER. Oh! I'm not complaining. I'm so relieved she didn't write those dreadful cookery articles. HILDEGARDE. But do you mean to say you aren't frightfully shocked by my advanced politics, mamma? MRS. CULVER. My child, how naive you are, after all! A woman is never shocked, though of course at times it may suit her to pretend to be. Only men are capable of being shocked. As for your advanced politics, as you call them, can't you see that it doesn't matter what you write so long as you are admired by the best people. It isn't views that are disreputable, it's the persons that hold them. CULVER. I hope that's why you so gracefully gave way over the baronetcy, my dear. MRS. CULVER (continuing to Hildegarde). There's just one thing I should venture to suggest, and that is, that you cease at once to be a typist and employ one yourself instead. It's most essential that you should live up to your position. Oh! I'm very proud of you. HILDEGARDE. I don't quite know what my position is. According to the latest news I'm dead. (Challengingly to Tranto.) Mr. Tranto, you're keeping rather quiet, nearly as quiet as John (John changes his seat), but don't you think you owe me some explanation? Not more than a quarter of an hour ago in this very room it was distinctly agreed between us that you would not kill Sampson Straight, and now you rush back in a sort of homicidal mania. MRS. CULVER. Oh! I'd no idea Mr. Tranto had called already this morning! HILDEGARDE. Yes. I told him all about everything, and we came to a definite understanding. MRS. CULVER. Oh! TRANTO. I'm only too anxious to explain. I killed Sampson for the most urgent of all possible reasons. The Government is thinking of giving him a baronetcy? CULVER. Not my baronetcy? TRANTO. Precisely. MRS. CULVER. But this is the most terrible thing I ever heard of. TRANTO. It is. I met one of my chaps in the street. He was coming here to see me. (To Culver.) Your answer was expected this morning. It didn't arrive. Evidently your notions about titles had got abroad, and the Government has decided to offer a title to Sampson Straight this afternoon if you refuse. CULVER. But how delightfully stupid of the Government. TRANTO. On the contrary it was a really brilliant idea. Sampson Straight is a great literary celebrity, and he'd look mighty well in the Honours List. Literature's always a good card to play for Honours. It makes people think that Cabinet Ministers are educated. HILDEGARDE. But I've spent half my time in attacking the Government! TRANTO. Do you suppose the Government doesn't know that? In creating you a baronet (gazes at her) it would gain two advantages--it would prove how broad-minded it is, and it would turn an enemy into a friend. HILDEGARDE. But surely the silly Government would make some enquiries first! CULVER. Hilda, do remember what your mother said, and try to live up to your position. This isn't the Government that makes enquiries. It's the Government that gets things done. TRANTO. You perceive the extreme urgency of the crisis. I had to act instantly. I did act. I slew the fellow on the spot, and his obituary will be in my late extra. The danger was awful--greater even than I realised at the moment, because I didn't know till I got back here that there was a genuine and highly unscrupulous Sampson Straight floating about. MRS. CULVER. Danger? What danger? TRANTO. Danger of the Government falling, dear lady. You see, it's like this. Assuming that the Government offers a baronetcy to Sampson Straight, and the offer becomes public property, as it infallibly would, then there are three alternatives. Either the Government has singled out for honour a person who doesn't exist at all; or it has sought to turn a woman (glancing at Hilda) into a male creature; or it is holding up to public admiration an ex-convict. Choose which theory you like. In any case the exposure would mean the immediate ruin of any Government. HILDEGARDE (to Tranto). I always thought you wanted the Government to fall. CULVER. Good heavens, my gifted child! No enlightened and patriotic person wants the Government to fall. All enlightened and patriotic persons want the Government to be afraid of falling. There you have the whole of war politics in a nut-shell. If the British Government fell the effect on the Allied cause would be bad, and might be extremely bad. But that's not the real explanation. The real explanation is that no one wants the Government to fall because no one wants to step into the Government's shoes. However, thanks to Tranto's masterly presence of mind in afflicting Sampson with a disease that kills like prussic acid, the Government can no longer give Sampson a title, and the danger to the Government is therefore over. TRANTO. Over! I wish it was! Supposing the Government doesn't happen to see my late extra in time! Supposing the offer of a baronetcy to Sampson Straight goes forth! The mischief will be done. Worst of all, supposing the only genuine Sampson Straight hears of it and accepts it! A baronetcy given to a bigamist! No Government could possibly survive the exposure. MRS. CULVER. Not even if its survival was necessary to the success of the Allied cause? CULVER (gloomily, shaking his head). My dear, Tranto is right. This great country has always insisted first of all, and before anything else whatever, on the unsullied purity of the domestic life of its public men. Let a baronetcy be given, or even offered, to a bigamist--and this great country would not hesitate for one second, not one second. TRANTO. The danger still exists. And only one man in this world can avert it. CULVER. You don't mean me, Tranto? TRANTO. I understand that you have neither accepted nor refused the offer. You must accept it instantly. Instantly. (A silence. John begins to creep towards the door, back, and Hildegarde towards the door, L.) MRS. CULVER (firmly). John, where are you going? JOHN. Anywhere. MRS. CULVER. Have you still got that letter to Lord Woking in which your father accepts the title? JOHN. Yes. MRS. CULVER. Come here. Let me see it. (She inspects the envelope of the letter and returns it to John.) Yes, that's right. Now listen to me. Get a taxi at once and drive to Lord Woking's, and insist on seeing Lord Woking, and give him that letter with your own hand. Do you understand? (Exit Hildegarde, L.) The stamp will be wasted, but never mind. Fly! JOHN. It's a damned shame. (Mrs. Culver smiles calmly.) CULVER (shaking John's flaccid hand). So it is. But let us remember, my boy, that you and I are--are doing our bit. (Pushes him violently towards the door.) Get along. (Exit John, back.) TRANTO (looking round). Where's Hildegarde? MRS. CULVER. She went in there. TRANTO. I must just speak to her. (Exit Tranto, L.) MRS. CULVER (with a gesture towards the door, L). There's something between those two. CULVER. I doubt it. (With a sigh.) MRS. CULVER. What do you mean--you doubt it? CULVER. They're probably too close together for there to be anything between them. MRS. CULVER (shakes her head, smiling sceptically). The new generation has no romance. (In a new tone.) Arthur, kiss me. CULVER. I'm dashed if I do! MRS. CULVER. Then I'll kiss you! (She gives him a long kiss.) (The lunch gong sounds during the embrace. Startled, they separate.) CULVER. Food! MRS. CULVER (with admiring enthusiasm). You've behaved splendidly. CULVER. Yes, that's what you always say when you've won and I--haven't. (She kisses him again.) Enter the Parlourmaid, back. PARLOURMAID. Miss Starkey is still waiting, sir. CULVER. Inexorable creature! I won't--I will not--(suddenly remembering that he has nothing to fear from Miss Starkey; gaily). Yes, I'll see her. She must lunch with us. May she lunch with us, Hermione? MRS. CULVER (submissively). Why, Arthur, of course! (To Parlourmaid.) Miss Starkey can have Master John's place. Some lunch must be kept warm for Master John. (As the Parlourmaid is leaving.) One moment--bring up some champagne, please. PARLOURMAID. Yes, Madam. (Exit Parlourmaid.) CULVER. Come along, I'm hungry. (Leading her towards the door. Then stopping.) I say.... Oh well, never mind. MRS. CULVER. But what? CULVER. You're a staggering woman, that's all. (Exit Culver and Mrs. Culver, back.) Enter Hildegarde and Tranto. HILDEGARDE (plaintively, as they enter). I told you my nerves were all upset, and yet you ran off before I--before I--and now it's lunch time! TRANTO (facing her suddenly). Hilda! I now give you my defence. (He kisses her.) Enter Culver, back, in time to interrupt the embrace. CULVER. Excuse me. My wife sent me to ask if you'd lunch, Tranto. I gather that you will. CURTAIN. Publication Date: August 19th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.bennett

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Genni Burke Mother Mirage A Short Play Publication Date: April 4th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-genniburke1996

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Kennedi Mathis The Confessions of a Not So Popular Teenage Girl Madison Dad Mom Prologue Not everyone is the same. People expect me to be like everyone else, but guess what. I AM NOT. I hate trying to fit in. It’s all a bunch of bullshit. I don’t play well with others. My dad thinks it’s because my mother is gone. But honestly I could care less. I don’t hate my life just everyone in it. I have had boyfriends, but I haven’t found one that will stick around. Believe it or not I’m kind of a bitch. For now I’m good with being alone. At least I have my brain on my side. I’m smart and that will help me farther in life then giving it up to a guy. Chapter 1: Boring Mornings and Annoying Gym Classes    I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock on my phone. I got in the shower and washed my medium length brown hair. I put body wash on the Loofah and washed my body. I am five foot seven. So I’m not short but not extremely tall either. I wear size 15. But I have a forty c cup bra. I got out of the shower, put on my bra and underwear(I don’t wear thongs they are disgusting and I hate the way they feel, I usually wear boy shorts.) Then I put on a pair of leggings, my black tank, and a hoodie. I took my hair out of my towel and I took the blow dryer and started to blow dry my hair. As soon it was dry, I took my crimper and crimped my hair. I then grabbed my makeup and put on foundation, concealer, and powder. I then drew a black line on my tight line top and bottom then I put some mascara on and no eyeshadow. Then I brushed my teeth. Finally done getting ready, I grabbed my backpack. Then went into the kitchen for some Lucky Charms. It’s only seven ten so I have twenty minutes until the bus gets here. “Morning Dad,” I said as I was getting my cereal. He is a stay at home dad, so we are kind of poor.   I run out to the bus. (The only ride I have to school.) It’s almost the end of the year. I’m excited for summer. I’m a Freshman in High School. I go to John F. Hodge High School. I’m fourteen and I don’t really have a lot of friends. I have two really good friends(Madi and Prosser.(I’ll talk about him later.)) and then everyone else is just an acquaintance. The school is just for Freshman through Seniors. So there isn’t that many people that go here. Probably about 400 if that, and I know that there are only  100 in my grade. I’m not sure about the other grades. I went to my locker and grabbed my tennis shoes. (Cuz sadly I have PE first hour because the Counselors don’t know how to make a good schedule.) The bell rang. I went to the bathroom to change. (Honestly I hate girls looking at me get dressed.) When I was done dressing I went to the gym of course today was the day we had to run the mile. Fuck. Chapter 2: Algebra and Daydreaming   Second Hour came along and I sit with Cameron and David, I’m the only girl. Unless you call Cameron a girl. (Well he is too gay to function.) Anyway, we had to take a test over Quadratics. Fuck. I didn’t study what so ever. FML. As we took the test. I kept glancing at Trenton.(Who is absolutely gorgeous.) Anyway we had a flirty thing. Then Cameron ruined it with obsessing over Cade and how he wasn’t there. Damn that  boy gets on my nerves(Cameron). As I ended my test I thought “Yep I bombed it.” Not to mention I was daydreaming about Prosser(told you I’d talk about him later). He’s blonde, has amazing blue eyes, and 6 foot.   Thing about Prosser is he flirts way too hard and is really obnoxious. Which is how every sixteen year old guy is. I trust him but I don’t think I’d trust him with my heart. He is kind of has commitment issues. Which is not a good thing. He also is going to Prom with Merideth. I thought he liked me but I guess not. The life of an unpopular teenage girl. It is unfair how people who are popular get what they want.  It's absolutely ridiculous it's like the first class on an airplane. Only rich bitches get popular.    Chapter 3: People Issues  My parents split when I was nine and until I was thirteen I had to live with my mother who never gave me any real attention. She always made me feel like I wasn’t enough and I wouldn’t get her attention unless I was a whore like her. So July of last summer I decided to move in with my dad. I felt like it was better, but I didn’t realize my brother Adam was hanging around dad again but to me I didn’t care much for him, he raped me when I was little and ever since then my life has been hell. My dad also had a girlfriend named Anita. ( I honestly hate that bitch, she always gets me in trouble, it’s really aggravating.) Other than that I have a pretty normal life except for an annoying bitch named Anna that follows me around everywhere and asks like we are best buddies when in reality I want to slit her throat. Let’s just say I don’t play well with others. It's been really hard dealing with her and my mother. They are exactly the same person some how. All they want to do is hurt me. Which leads me to my next chapter.  Chapter 4: Suicide Attempts and Hatred  I used to be really bad about cutting and self harm but I never really knew why. I also tried to commit suicide but couldn’t really find the heart to do it. Cutting was kind of an escape from the normal world and just see the blood rush down my arm like a waterfall. I found it soothing. I never thought anyone actually gave a shit about me. Just because of what went down with my mother. Let’s just say we argued and basically she kicked me out and told me I’d never be able to live with her again. She thinks orgasms help her forget about what she has done in the past. When really it just scars me and tears me down to the point of suicide. I normally just take her yelling and end up crying away my eyeliner and mascara. In other words I'm weak and she is strong. That's the way she has always wanted it to be. Even my sister is the same way. Me and my Mother will never be close. It's the same thing with Prosser I have to guard my heart and myself.(She's my mother I should be able to trust her.)  Chapter 5: Best Friends and Music  The only escape for me is my Best Friends and Music. To me music has been there for me my whole life. It's the only thing I can go to without feeling like an Outsider. It makes me comfortable. In other words it's the only thing that hasn't left me or forsaked me. Best Friends help too. They are always there when you need them the most. Madi was there for me when I was battling with cutting and she's always there no matter what. It's kind of refreshing.  Chapter 6: Am I a fool when it comes to love? I thought he was different. He liked me. Or at least I thought. He said he'd never hurt me. He said he'd be there. It was all lies. Lies. Slander. Betrayal. That's all he ever did to me. I thought he changed. He said he could finally be mine. Player. Dick. Asshole.(Not a gay term.) He said he'd never leave. What the fuck happened? She happened, she stole him with faster than you could say slut. I thought he was with me. He never loved me. I was just a comfort zone. We're just friends thats all we'll always be. Him, he stole my heart with those blue dreamy eyes. He fooled me. It has never felt so real. What will I do now that he's gone? It'll be awkward now.   Chapter 7: Aftermath He acts like it is nothing. He acts like we are still friends. We are not friends. I fell so hard. What the fuck happened to guarding myself? I guess it was his eyes or was it his ability to see through me. I will never know.    We're in a dark room. He walks towards me. I start yelling at him.  He grabs me and kisses me hard, making me be press against him. (Nice way to shut me up.) I try to pull away but he just keeps ahold of me. I calm down and he lets go. He then says in his calm voice, " What's wrong, kid?" I hate when he does that, I'm only a year, two months, and thirteen days younger than him. "I'm fine, I'm just done with dumbass guys." I start to walk away and go towards the door. He grabs me. I pull back. He kisses me again more passionately. I try to get out of the kiss. But I can't, it's too unbearable. How do I get out of this? He starts to caress my breasts.    My alarm goes off. What the fuck was that?  Chapter 8: The Kiss Tonight Prosser comes over to have dinner with me and my parents. Dad is making dinner. So me and Prosser go into my room to watch a movie on my laptop. I start to walk to my bedroom and he grabs my hand. We walk to my room and when I close the door he starts kissing me. I tell him to stop and he says "Why?" "I'm just not ready lets watch Big Hero 6. "Sure." he says with a disappointed voice. Big Hero 6 is about to get good when my dad hollers for me. Then me and Prosser walk into the kitchen to eat. My Dad and Anita make us sit across the table from each other. Then dad starts with his questions. After dinner he helps me with the dishes. Dad then says " I like you. You and my daughter can hang out alone. I trust you." After me and Prosser do the dishes he has to leave.  So I walk out with him and he kisses me passionately. (Mind you this is my first kiss.) He then says, " See you Friday." "What's Friday?" I say. "You'll see." he says with a grin. He walks to his car and pulls out of the driveway.  Chapter 9 : My First Time Friday is here. He picks me up at 7 and we go to the movies. After the movies we go to his place. (His parents aren't home.) We walk to his bedroom and he lays me on the bed. We make out and he starts to go down to the top of my jean shorts. He asks " Can I?" I say "Yes" not thinking about it. He pulls my shorts down and starts to tease me. He then pulls my underwear down. "Just enjoy it" he says. He then eats me out. I moan he continues and I suddenly feel overwhelmed with pleasure. He then moves up and caresses my breast and kisses me. Then he stands up and pulls down his jeans and boxers. He then lays on top of me and starts to go inside of me and I moan. He then goes faster and faster finally I cum and he cums. We then get dressed and cuddle and watch a movie.  We finally pull into the driveway. The clock on the dashboard says 9:58. Two minutes before curfew. I start to get out of the car and he pulls me in and kisses me. I then say "Thanks for an awesome date." Then I get out of the care and head toward the door. When I walk in the door Anita and Dad are asleep. I lock the door and head to the bathroom to take a shower. When I'm done with my shower I walk to my room and brush my hair. Then lay in my bed and go to sleep.  Chapter 10: Morning After I wake up and feel sick to my stomach. I rush to the bathroom and vomit. Then Madi shows up and I tell her everything that happened with Prosser and she tells me to go get a Pregnancy Test. So we walk to the dollar store and walk back home and I take the test. It comes up positive. I then have to find out a way to tell my parents, and Prosser. Fuck.    You actually thought I was gonna leave you hanging. God. What kind of person do you think I am? Oh ya I'm a bitch.      Check out my next book.       Preggers and Dealing with it.  Text: BookRix Images: Kennedi Mathis Editing: BookRix Translation: Kennedi Mathis All rights reserved. Publication Date: April 13th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-iu392e405a04f35

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perla vegas My Story The rush of the wind as I pushed forward, it was becoming very painful but if I didn’t keep on pushing it would become even more painful. They were right behind me I knew it. I felt them behind me trying to catch up. I knew what they wanted but I couldn’t give it to them I didn’t have it yet. I tripped I struggled to get up then I saw them the 2 pairs of feet I was running from. I open my mouth but nothing came out. It all happened so fast the gun shot the sirens blood and then I woke up in the hospital. I felt numb then I blacked out again. When I woke up again I wasn’t in the hospital any more I don’t know where I was. I heard laughter talking and footsteps. I tried to get up but there was something holding me down then I realized I was chained to a pole. I took a look around for any clue as to how I got there but there was nothing there but me a pole a chain and stairs. There were no windows so I must have been in a basement. I racked my brain to remember what happen but I had no idea no clue nothing as if my memory was erased. Thick footsteps came down the stairs. Everything came flashing back as soon as I saw his face. There he was the guy that was chasing me, the guy that shot me, the guy that checked me out the hospital and dragged me here. I knew what he wanted but I didn’t have it yet and I don’t know when I was going to get it for him. “Where is it?!” he asked in that deep husky voice I use to adore. “Where is what?” I tried to play stupid but he knew that I knew exactly what he was talking about. “Mel baby you know I love you I would never want to hurt you but if you’re giving me no choice what am I supposed to do?” his husky voice turned into a dark pit of despair. I started thinking maybe it wasn’t his fault I was here maybe someone has forced him maybe he has to do it no matter what, weather he likes it or not. To correct my thoughts I asked “Don’t you have a choice aren’t you the one going after me” I tried to sound unafraid confident but all that failed I sounded weak and frail. Tears started falling onto the ground. He bend down and looked like he was about to hug me but instead he slapped me. “Don’t be so stupid Melody no wonder we didn’t work out stop being such a baby just give me what I want and you won’t ever have to see me again or even hear about me anymore.” He started laughing as if he had said a joke and I missed it. “But I don’t want to lose you. I want to be the cute couple from a month ago the couple voted most likely to stay together. The couple voted most likely to have a family together.” I started to quiver and the tears started flowing out like a river. At this he laughed even louder. “Am I missing something because there is something you find really funny and I want to know what it is. Is me wanting us to be together that funny?” I couldn’t anymore I broke apart a month ago we were a happy couple he was the perfect boyfriend and then she came into his life, Annabelle. He broke up with me and wanted me to give him everything he bought and every cent I borrowed from him back. All my life I had lived in the projects. I couldn’t afford anything, so when he told me that I fell to pieces. All day and night all I thought about was how I was going to get him his stuff and money back. I knew if he didn’t get his money back, there would be trouble for me. He was part of a gang and had a lot of people to defend him and to stand behind him no matter what the situation was. It has been a month since then and now I will pay for what I couldn’t get to him. ”Give me another chance please I’ll give everything you need just give me more time I promise please I’m begging I’ll get it to you just give me more time.” I was on my knees and crying he had to have some sympathy for someone he used to love. “Did what we have mean nothing to you?” I was really curious about this question was this all a game to him? Did he really ever love me? Or was I just his little game. “Darling of course you meant something for me but it’s all about my way of living, forgive no one have sympathy for no one.” He was serious he would pick his way of living for the person he loved. At that point I was furious and I was annoyed. “Just unlock me and I’ll give you all your stupid stuff. I’ll give you your money back every cent even more if you want just unlock me and get me out of here!” I was shouting at the top of my lungs and I had no intention to stop until he unlocked me. “Fine but I better have my money by next week or instead of me looking for you it will be my men and if my men are after you they will have no sympathy.” I knew he wasn’t lying about that so I promised him I would get him his stuff and money by next week. When he released me I ran. I didn’t know where I was going but I wanted to get far away from him. When I got home I ran into my room and began searching everything that I found that was him I threw in a bag. I found all his stuff but I didn’t know where to get the money from. The next day I went to the bank and asked for a loan. I didn’t know how to explain why I needed the loan but I had to say something I needed that loan and fast. When they denied the loan I asked my mother for money and when that didn’t work out I went to look for a job. That didn’t go so great so I asked people from my hood to help me get a job as a drug dealer I had no experience with that and I didn’t know which drug was which so I sucked but by the end of the week I had enough money to pay back and still have money to spend. I paid him back his money and I was much happier. I even kept my job as a drug dealer I earned a lot of money and I was getting good at it. I had an encounter with the police but I kept selling. It was as if selling drugs was my drug. After a while I was put in jail after that I learned my lesson jail was hard. All people talked about were hurting other people. For any little thing they would beat someone up. That was a horrible experience and I learned from my mistake. Now I got a job. I’m working at a rehab center. To my surprise people with the same problem I have come in every once in a while I guess I’m not alone, and neither are they. Publication Date: January 7th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-elmox3kitkat

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C.j. Makenenski Subtle Deception To my wonderful Russian pirozhiki-fairy, Jess; who's been through hell and back to get here. Prologue In the last few years, the very idea of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is dredged up only as a final resort when the alternitive options of deception, threat, and bribary have all been exhausted. -Michael Musto Chapter One More than once have I wished that I could feel regret for any wrongdoing I'd done in my life. Unfortunately, it's just not possible for me. Doctor Nueman says I'm a sociopath, and that I need medication, while Doctor Potzdam said that I just need to grow into my emotions, and figure out what "regret" and "empathy" are. No matter how many psychiatrists, or nuerologists we go to, they always agree on one thing: that I am completely and utterly incapable of feeling remourseful or empathetic towards anyone, including myself. I like to think of it as being "laid-back" or "self-dependent". However, this isn't my story. You might think that I'm the main character - most likely from the blurb the author wrote on the back of the book making me look like the protagonist, and because I'm the one narrating - but I, in fact, am a supporting character. Someone who backs up the main character; kind of like Batman and Robin. This is actually a good friend of mine's story, and I'll reveal whom later. Right now, let's start with the very beginning, starting with with why I think I'm the way I am. I was born on a Sunday, at three-o'-clock in the morning ("Witching Hour", as they call it), on the thirty-first of December. My mother was seventeen when she got pregnant, and I was, as some would say, and unwelcome intrusion. As I grew up, I gradually understood that the only person who really cared about me was my Grandma, Mam-Mam. She'd gone through the same thing Mom did, and felt some sympathy for me - but not much. After she past away, I had no friends and no-one who could comfort me in my grievance, so I just stopped caring about people, finally settling on the decision that everyone on planet Earth - including me - only looked out for themselves So, another five or six years went by like this. And then Ricky showed up. Text: C.j. Makenenski Editing: C.j. Makenenski All rights reserved. Publication Date: July 12th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-wtfdudewhoareyou

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Charles Dufresny The Double Windowing CHARACTERS, four men, six women: The Countess, an imperious woman of no particular age Mr. Bramble, her steward Widow, Bramble's wife Tuneless, the Countess's butler who composes music Desmond, Mr. Bramble's nephew, a sentimentalist in love with Arabella Arabella, the Widow's niece, a rationalist in love with Desmond Maid, the Countess's maid Lucy, the Widow's maid Mr. MacPherson, a servant of the Countess Mrs. MacPherson, his wife The scene is set in a room in the Countess's country house. The time is the early 18th Century. Lucy I am delighted to see you return, sir. I've been looking for you all over the place, in the gardens, everywhere. Desmond Good day, Lucy, good day. Lucy You've come at just the right time. The Countess, and I, and all the house have been waiting for you to return with great impatience. But, quickly--tell me news of your uncle-- Is Mr. Bramble dead or alive? Desmond I know nothing of it. Lucy We are in the same incertitude. Only Mrs. Bramble is certain. We've told her he's dead for sure--to make her fall into the trap we've set for her. She thinks she's a widow, and it's on that belief that we build our little project of your marriage, sir. Desmond What's that? Lucy I told you, that to facilitate your marriage with Arabella, the Countess, who protects you both, has pulled a thousand strings to prove to my mistress that your uncle is dead. Mrs. Bramble is so sure of being a widow that she put on mourning yesterday, sir. Desmond What are you telling me? Lucy I'm telling you business that concerns both of us. For the thirty gold crowns you promised me has the same appeal to me that Arabella has for you. Listen to me, then--. To help us, you must hide from our widow the love you have for Arabella, for if she suspects you love her niece-- Desmond I know all that. I've been through it just now with the Countess. Lucy Sir, pardon my useless talk. I ought first to talk of the charms of this young beauty who-- Desmond What charms she has, Lucy, what charms! She has so many! Lucy The most pretty little charms. Not fifteen years old, these charms, and new ones added every day. And, you will marry all of them soon. Desmond It's the greatest misfortune that can happen to me. Lucy A misfortune to possess something you love so much! Here's one of your bizarre refinements. You are the most reasonable gentleman in England--but you've no common sense. Speak to me reasonably: do you wish to marry her? Desmond Do I ever wish it! Lucy If you wish this marriage ardently, let's work in concert. I hope Arabella will be your wife today. Desmond Alas, that's what I fear. Lucy Again! Oh, you exaggerate. Is this crazy love or simply craziness? Desmond No, Lucy, no--it is not caprice, it is not exaggeration. I fear with my mind that which I want with all my heart. I am well aware that I cannot live without the adorable Arabella. But, I foresee we will be unhappy together. In a word, we are unable to agree about anything. Lucy And, what is it necessary to agree about to get married? Desmond If you knew the reception she just gave me-- Lucy She was wrong-- Desmond She received me with an air-- Lucy Is it possible? Desmond After eight days absence. Lucy She received you coldly? Desmond She received me shouting, dancing. I saw her jump about with happiness. Lucy My word, you're not wise. What! You despair because she's delighted to see you? Desmond Delighted to see me! I cannot compare that dissipated delight with the sensitive pleasure and passion the sight of a loved one should inspire. For example, from the moment I saw her I stood immobile, seized by a languor--my heart beat, my eyes clouded. Ahh! That's the way to express passion. But she is incapable of such a solid, passionate love--which is the only kind that can content me. Lucy If I was a man, I'd choose for my wife a woman who was always gay, never moody or sensitive. Desmond I want sensibility. Lucy In a mistress--but in a wife, shame! Desmond It's all an amusement. Lucy It's an amusement very dangerous for the husband. Desmond One can have feelings and be virtuous. Lucy Virtue doesn't always make a woman faithful. I'd like a woman better who had no passions rather than one who is governed by them. (Enter Arabella, singing.) Arabella La, la, la, la--la, la, la, la, la. Desmond Do you hear, Lucy, do you hear? Lucy She has a nice voice, doesn't she? Desmond After having seen me before her overcome by emotion-- Arabella La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Desmond (walking away) I am outraged to hear that. Arabella Hey! Here you both are-- You don't see what's going on here because you're wrapped up in your somber mood. Desmond My emotion is well justified. Arabella You are angry to see me laugh, and I am laughing to see you angry. Desmond Is this a way to talk of love? Arabella As for love--will yours always be so afflicted? Desmond If I had less refinement-- Arabella You would be more reasonable. Desmond Is there anything more reasonable than my complaints? Arabella Oh, your exaggerations are always full of reason. But they don't make you happy. Desmond What a conversation. Alas--how different your character is from mine. Arabella Marriage will solve all that. Desmond There, Lucy, I ask you to judge-- Lucy I have nothing to gain by judging. Judge yourselves. I am going to get my mistress up. Arabella Dress her up quickly, for the Countess wants to see her right away. Lucy Your aunt Bramble is not yet awake--and between the wake up and the coming down of a middle aged woman, there are numerous ceremonies of the toilette. (Exit Lucy.) Arabella We've got to get some money from my aunt. It's essential. Desmond The essential thing is to find out if we're going to be happy together. Arabella Nice question! With this type of humor we're going to get along fine; and I'm going to get rid of all your peculiarities. Desmond I am not being peculiar, when, after quiet reasoning, I conclude that your frivolousness-- Arabella Oh, my frivolousness, my frivolousness; I believe that my gayety ought to prove my tenderness. Here's how I think you ought to have reasoned, knowing me, and my fear of marriage because it is sad. I naturally fear marriage. I see they want to marry me to you--and I show no emotion. Well--to be gay under these circumstances--doesn't that prove I love you? Desmond That's not to hate me. Arabella If you don't want me to hate you, don't anger me any more with the tone you're taking. Seems to me, I love you passably well. Desmond Passably--there's a very touching expression. "Passably." Arabella Oh--I wish you could count the joys I feel. Desmond That joy would be properly expressed if you were sure our marriage will succeed--but in the situation we are in, you ought to tremble. And if you were in love, you'd be like me: ill at ease, agitated, in a cruel uncertainty, languishing, sighing, trembling. (Enter the Countess and her Maid.) Countess Well, Arabella, I am working to marry you--aren't you delighted? Arabella On the contrary, Madame, I am ill at ease, agitated, and in a cruel uncertainty, languishing, sighing, and trembling. Is that how I should love, sir? Countess Enough, Arabella, enough. Desmond, it was I who told her to tease you a bit over your emotionalism. It's not that I don't esteem you highly; the interest I take in your marriage proves that. But today, I've resolved to laugh, and to ridicule all those who happen to be around me. I have nothing but a boring day to pass in the country, and I am gong to amuse myself at the expense of anyone who happens to be around. So beware. Our widow will be the principal subject of my diversion--and the way I intend to get the money out of Mrs. Bramble is a comedy which will amuse me immensely. Arabella If you are able to get money out of aunt Bramble, don't mock her. We must pity the afflicted. Countess When her husband's death was announced to her, I perceived that only her facial expression showed any signs of affliction. Desmond Maybe so, but I beg you to spare her. For if her affection was false, that of my uncle was true enough. And my uncle had the honor to be your steward. Countess Oh, Bramble's enriched himself at my expense--and now I will laugh at the expense of his widow. After all, it's an outrage. She wants to disinherit her niece--who's my godchild--in a word, she hates what you love. Why manipulate, if it weren't for love of you? Desmond If she's done it from love of me, it's an inexcusable folly. Countess A less excusable folly is the speed with which she took to mourning yesterday. (to Maid) Miss, tell me how she has been able to find so much crepe in the country? Maid I heard this morning from Lucy, that she's always kept a mourning outfit hidden in her trunk, so as always to be well prepared for the unexpected death of her husband. She says every well-ordered wife ought to do the same, so she can celebrate her misfortune from the very first moment of widowhood. Countess And you don't want me to ridicule such an affectation? There, Desmond! Go, put on mourning, too--to prove that your uncle is dead. Arabella I am also going to put on black, to make it all more touching. (Exit Arabella and Desmond.) Countess Miss, you will have to sing a little aria in the opera that Mr. Tuneless is preparing for me. It's right that my servants contribute to my amusements today. Maid I wish your Scotsman were here. He sings well. His wife is also a good singer and dances well for a highlander. Countess Here she is now. What does she wish to tell me? (Enter Mrs. MacPherson.) Mrs. MacPherson Rejoice, Madame, my husband has just returned from Tunbridge Wells. Countess I am delighted. He will tell us if Mr. Bramble is dead or alive. He hasn't already told you, has he? Mrs. MacPherson My husband never tells me his secrets. He's right, for I am too much of a gossip. I like it better when he tells me nothing, because he's so pompous when he tells me a secret. He has such long oaths, so long that I would as soon listen to a hundred sighs from another man. Before he will tell me one word! Countess Why doesn't he come then? Mrs. MacPherson Madame, to appear to you in his proper attire, he has gone to have his wig curled and powdered. Maid He's rouging also. For he went to the Wells to lighten his skin. Mrs. MacPherson Don't mock him before her, mam. He went to the waters to improve his health. And to please me, for he loves me, and I am determined that he be healthy. Countess I am delighted to see you in such good humor. Mrs. MacPherson I am happy because my husband has returned. And also, because your servant has been slipping us a little wine--discreetly. Women from my country are born for wine, like the French are born for love. Each to his custom and often enough the one does not impede the other. Maid Here is Mr. MacPherson, Madame. You are going to hear an interesting speech, because he's erudite, your Highlander. MacPherson (entering) Madame, Madame. Countess Don't waste your time bowing. Tell me--is Bramble dead? MacPherson I know all about these matters--in extreme exactitude. Countess All these things consist in one word--he's dead, or he isn't. MacPherson It is necessary to explain all these things to you by direction. For, when I left you, you directed that I should bring you a report of all the circumstances of our trip in writing. Countess Very well. What I want to know is written in your journal. MacPherson My journal consists of words without paper. For I have written in my mind--in three little chapters--our departure, our trip, our return. Countess Here's a well-ordered explanation. MacPherson With regard to the first, Mr. Bramble was very ridiculous, very ridiculous. He said he'd been married to his wife for ten years without children, and it was to cure sterility that he was going to the waters. So much for what he said as soon as he arrived. Countess If this story wasn't so funny, it would make me very impatient. MacPherson In the second chapter, your bailiff was also very ridiculous. For I like wine, and he went to the waters to drink water, and in this water, he found, in place of virility--illness-so much illness, that he is dying. Countess Now, we're at the point. Bramble thought he was dying and is not dead. Listen, you must tell his wife that when her husband was dying--he died. MacPherson Ha, ha, ha. When one finds the widow of a living man, we'll have a good laugh. Countess When is he coming? Where did you leave him? MacPherson I left him yesterday, about thirty leagues from here, when his coach broke down. Go on ahead, he said, for I'm likely to be sick here until tomorrow, and my coach won't be ready till Monday. I will come on Tuesday. (Exit MacPherson and Mrs. MacPherson.) Countess According to that, he won't be here until tomorrow--and cannot disturb our project today. So, Miss, tell my dancing women to prepare for the wedding I intend to celebrate today. Maid We will do all our best to please you, and though I sing poorly, I can sing a sad song about being a widow. Countess It's Tuneless who is getting everything ready. He wants to be a music master, my Butler. Maid He's an original. Look here. I believe he's composing--for he's walking to the beat. Hold, hold, Madame, the spirit torments him--he's possessed by the demon of music. Countess Shh! He doesn't see us. Let's give him the pleasure-- Tuneless (entering) Nothing's going right, dammit. La, la, la, la. I can never find a completely new idea. (slowly) La, la, la, la, la--no, that opening's in Lully. La, la, la, la, la, la--Lully again. La, la, la, la--Lully again. That Lully everywhere--everywhere I turn. I am very unfortunate not to have been born before him. Everything I have in my head is useless because they say I plagiarize him. La, la, la, la, la--good there. La, la, la, la, la. Admirable. La, la. Marvelous. And the second, lower--la, la, la, low tone, what invention. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la--what reflections of genius. The notes are coming to me--write them down quickly. (with one knee on the ground, he writes on some paper on the other knee, until, perceiving the Countess, he takes off his hat in this position and continues to write) (singing) Pardon me, Madame, oh pardon, Madame, da, de, da, de da, Madame. I note the last tone. (rising and bowing to the Countess) It's a duo for an aria about widowhood, as you have commanded. (giving her a paper. Wait, Madame--you know how to sing without a book. Countess I see Mrs. Bramble in the gallery. I must speak with our widow. Tuneless Let us sing together, and that will serve as a rehearsal. (Exit Countess.) Tuneless (to Maid) Now you will represent the widow. Carefully imitate the affliction of widows. Cry with your eyes down in your chin. Lucy (entering) Retire. My mistress approaches. She's coming here to cry on the way. She needs practice. Tuneless Exactly. Soon she'll be crying for her money. Real tears then. Lucy Don't joke. I'm afraid all this may be dangerous for her. Tuneless Why is that? Lucy I'm sorry for her. When the Countess guaranteed she was a widow, it was like a knife thrust in her heart. Tuneless What? She felt the blow? Lucy Think what she's going to feel when they undeceive her. The loss of her delightful status of widowhood will cause her to die. Tuneless Let's come to the business. Tell me truly, now that she believes her husband is dead--is she in love with Desmond, and does she plan to marry him? Lucy She thought about it even while she was alive. And I always thought she prayed the nephew would outlive his uncle. Tuneless >From the confidences her husband has made to me, I have often thought he destined his niece for the post of her aunt. He was quite explicit that Arabella was the niece of his wife only in the third degree. Lucy My mistress wishes that Desmond was not her husband's nephew. Tuneless These sentiments astonish me in a woman so careful of the proprieties. Lucy She's proper in public, but with certain women, public morals and private morals differ as much their faces do from the time they get up and the time they go to bed. Tuneless Everything considered, I judge that these two are perfectly matched in all the arts of conjugal hypocrisy. Lucy They love each other, in proportion to the wealth they hope to obtain from each other. Tuneless Yes, self-interest by itself produces more false love in some families than true love produces in all the sincere lovers in London. Lucy I admire the wisdom of our law which permits spouses to disinherit one another. For only the hope of inheriting is the dike that can prevent a torrent of family quarrels. Go quickly. Here is my mistress. To gain her confidence, I am going to help her out of her sorrows. (Exit Tuneless and the Maid. Enter from another direction, the Countess and the Widow Bramble.) Countess Save your tears, Madame, save your tears. To tremble, to sigh, to sob. All these demonstrations of sorrow are worse than sorrow itself. Widow Alas. Countess Don't avoid the offer I'm making you any more. Respond to me exactly. You don't like to have your niece around. I'm going to take her off your hands and marry her off in the country. Won't you give her some wedding present? Widow This is the fourth day of my widowhood--the fourth day isn't it, Lucy? Lucy The fourth, yes. Widow (to Countess) Well, Madame, since then I haven't had any nourishment at all. Lucy We are nourished only by affliction and black tea. Widow Everything I eat rests on my stomach like lead. Lucy We eat hardly anything, and what we eat suffocates us. Countess Answer me, then Madame, agree. Widow No, I won't be alive in four days. Countess Live, and don't cry. Widow Ah, I will cry more than thirty years. Lucy To die soon and cry forever is our final resolution. Widow I don't know what I'm saying, Lucy. Lucy I see it plainly. We haven't the strength to marry Arabella. Countess While your husband was living, you gave the excuse that you hoped to have children. Now, your hopes and excuses are dead with your husband: you are mistress of your estate. You must marry Arabella, or tell me that you don't wish it. Widow I cannot make up my mind to marry Arabella. Really, I don't wish her so much ill as to expose her to marriage. Countess To hear you speak thus about marriage, one would think you didn't like it. Widow On the contrary, it was because my happiness was so perfect, that I don't wish to marry my niece. Countess That's a reason to marry her. Widow I had a very loveable husband, and I don't want her to have one. Countess Explain yourself! Widow She will be too overcome if she loses him, to marry her would be to expose her to the risk of becoming a widow. (cries) And, to unhappiness like mine. Ah, Madame, in the abyss in which I find myself--retreat and solitude--that's the road my niece ought to take. Countess Solitude doesn't agree with Arabella. Widow Don't speak to me anymore about it. I am too afflicted. Countess And, in a word--your niece? Widow No, no--I am too afflicted. I intend that she spend her life in a convent. Countess >From the bad reasons you give me, I discern the good ones you keep to yourself. You wish to protect your money, so you can remarry. Widow Me! Me, remarry! Countess Listen, to undertake a second marriage, you need the great wealth your husband left you. And, this great wealth, having been earned in managing my affairs--I could--I haven't yet signed off on your husband's accounts--. That's why I beg you not to refuse the ten thousand crowns that you have in your strongbox. I beg you, I really do. (Exit Countess.) Widow (ill tempered) I beg you, she says, I beg you. Lucy She begs you with a certain air-- Widow Taking on a tone-- Lucy Of people of quality who-- Widow Believing that their prayers-- Lucy Are a sort of command. A great lord who asks a citizen to do him a service is like a banker respectfully asking payment on a promissory note. Widow She speaks as if one was in great fear of her. Lucy You'd have less reason to fear if your husband were alive. For he was as clever in protecting his prey as he was in catching it. Widow Alas, I am indeed lost. Lucy Madame, the Countess could easily cheat you. You may say that she cannot cheat the widow of an honest steward, who enriched himself as everyone does by entangling his affairs with hers. But, now she is going to take from you unjustly that which your husband earned on the fair and square. Widow That's what I'm afraid of, Lucy. Lucy They ought not to oppress widows--because they have lost their main support. Widow Their support. That's very true, I am without support. Lucy Without support! That's why you ought to pacify the Countess. That way you would peaceably obtain your husband's wealth. Then, find some young man to be your support. Widow Ah, Lucy. If I think of accommodating the Countess, it is not to gain peace. But, before I give her anything, I wish to consult with some smart man. Lucy (low) Like Desmond. (Aloud) Some smart fellow who-- Widow Some man of good counsel. Lucy Very good. Widow A man with a head. Lucy By the way, Desmond came this afternoon. Widow Desmond's come-- Lucy Yes, Madame. He's a smart fellow, Desmond. Widow Assuredly. Lucy A man of good counsel. Widow Without a doubt. Lucy A man with a head. If you told him your difficulties-- Widow He knows my husband's business-- Lucy Yours will be in good hands. Widow Go--tell him that he can find me in the garden. Lucy Right away, Madame. Widow A wise person ought to take advice. Lucy You will follow Desmond's. What wisdom. What wisdom. [Curtain in the original. End of Act I.] Widow Ah, Lucy, how ashamed I am to tell you of the distant vows I have made to Desmond. Lucy So long as those distant vows don't come too soon, I approve of them. Widow If I were less virtuous than those ancient wives who could envisage no other consolation except to swallow the ashes of their husbands! Lucy You see in your nephew the living features of your husband, his uncle. Catching the possessor of those features will cure you of your scruples. Widow Lucy, do you suppose Desmond misunderstands my motives? Lucy Not at all. I'm sure he understands them perfectly. But, be discreet. A man understands a widow's hint. Widow I have always spoken to him with an indifference, a frigidity-- Lucy See the fate of virtue-- Widow I have expressed all the ideas of tenderness with perfect circumspection, but--shrewdly, delicately, with refinement. Really, without these precautions, I would expose myself to continual remorse. I would imagine, without end, that the soul of the departed reproached me. Yes, even in this moment, I hear his complaints, the sound of his voice, actually in my ears. (Enter Desmond, after Lucy has signalled him to do so.) Desmond Madame. Widow Ah, Heaven, shh! It's you, Desmond. You've frightened me. I thought I heard the voice of my husband. Desmond Really, there's quite a resemblance in our voices. The whole world used to mistake us. Widow My husband had a very agreeable voice. Desmond Let's talk business. Widow The resemblances in families is remarkable. You've got your uncle's manners--even his brusqueness. Desmond Following the advice I have given you-- Widow You have his gestures, his manner, his way of looking. I love most your way of looking-- Desmond Let's think about finishing. Widow What still charms me in my husband is your softness, your wit, your entire person. Desmond Madame, I've spoken to the Countess, and I think it's important that you pacify her--but you are not honoring me with your attention. Widow With my attention! It's you who don't listen to me. Desmond But really, it's wise to give in to her-- Widow You urge me to give away all my wealth? Desmond Only a small part of it. Otherwise, you jeopardize-- Widow You don't know how much better it would be if I keep it. It would be better for you. Desmond For me? Widow For, in the future--you understand, sir. I could really, for you-- Right, Lucy--I can't explain any more, sir. You understand, don't you-- Desmond I-- Widow Because propriety prevents me from saying to you-- Lucy You've told him that already. Widow I will say only, that having reflected on what the Countess didn't say, I fear that the husband she intends for Arabella is none other than yourself. Desmond Me, Madame? Lucy The gentleman would be wiser to go to the source of the wealth. Widow I believe it, but from the fear that the Countess will give you, in spite of yourself, to Arabella, I have resolved not to give my money until the marriage contract is signed--and a husband other than yourself is the lucky man. And, I have a thousand other good reasons to communicate to you about this. But, I can't say a word now. Follow me, Lucy. (Exit Widow.) Desmond Lucy. Lucy Sir, I have to go. (Exit Lucy.) Desmond What to do now? (Enter Arabella.) Arabella Tell me quickly--how did your conversation go with my aunt? Desmond I think I've convinced her that she should let me arbitrate between her and the Countess. Arabella That's funny. Desmond She's disposed to agree to whatever I suggest, and--in a word--she's working for our marriage, without even knowing it. Arabella Without knowing it. That makes me delighted. Desmond Do you understand what our happiness is? Arabella You will judge against her interest. Nothing could be funnier. It charms me totally. Desmond You are pleased by the joke. The humor of it is what touches you. Your first sensation ought to be a passionate feeling of happiness. Arabella Happiness touches me, too. Desmond Too, too. You have a delightful choice of words--very revealing. Arabella Oh, don't quibble with me. I am going to have a good laugh with the Countess. Desmond What! Leave me without witnessing-- Arabella I will witness you wonderfully. (Enter Lucy.) Arabella Ah, Lucy, everything is going wonderfully. You see me in joy. But, in recompense, Desmond is angry. I believe he almost wishes that our marriage should be prevented, and that he will run into some obstacle. Lucy Then he can rejoice, for the obstacle has come. Your uncle is returned, sir. Desmond My uncle, ah Heaven, I am in despair. Arabella All our schemes are ruined. Ah, Desmond, why do you love me so much? It always makes you so unhappy. Really, I feel worse than you--no hope--I am desolated. Desmond Desolated, you say? Arabella Desolated, desperate. Desmond What? You suffer? Arabella Oh, how unhappy I am. Desmond Ah, what a joy for me! You have feelings. I am loved. I don't want anything else in the world. I want only your heart. Lucy You won't have that either. Desmond But Lucy, is it really true that my uncle is back? What, in the very moment I was convinced we'd be happy forever. Ah Heaven, is there a misery equal to mine? (Enter Tuneless.) Tuneless The steward is back. What a reversal. He took an express coach and returns just in time to desolate us. His wife's rage is going to rebound on us--for she already knows. Lucy For me, I wish them both what they deserve. To the wife, a dead husband. To the husband, a dead wife. At least their desires will not be accomplished quickly.-- You will never be married. Desmond Here's my uncle coming now. Arabella What shall we say to him? Lucy What role to play? Tuneless I don't know at all. (Enter Bramble.) Bramble Listen, what's this all about? Vainly do I question everybody. Each one turns his back on me, without any response. Everyone in mourning. Nephew, why are you dressed in mourning? Desmond (bowing and exiting) Sir-- Bramble Another fleeing mute. And you, Arabella, what have you to tell me? Arabella (curtsying) Not a thing, sir. (Exit Arabella.) Bramble Again--hey, I beg you, Lucy, ease me of my uncertainty. Why the mourning? Lucy For a costume party. (Exit Lucy.) Bramble And you, Tuneless--won't you explain to me what I already begin to suspect. If it were the Countess who was dead, then everybody would be in mourning--right? My dear Tuneless, hide nothing from me. You are my only confidant-- Tuneless Well, but-- (aside) What the devil am I going to say? Bramble What ought I to think in seeing all this? Tuneless In seeing all this black clothing, you ought to think they are dressed in black. Bramble Hmm! I doubt-- Tuneless Tell me. What are you worried about? I will tell you if it is true. Bramble It must be, but I don't believe it. Tuneless Nor I, sir. Bramble My heart tells me enough. (hands over his eyes) My wife is dead. Tuneless (aside) This give me an idea. Let him believe it. He is in love with Arabella, that's good, too. (aloud) Yes, my word, sir. There's no keeping it from you. One divines immediately what one fears or wishes most. You've guessed it. Your wife is--dead. Bramble I've observed that no one dared tell me the news. Tuneless It jumps right at you. I dared not tell you. I am certain you are strong enough to bear it. Bramble It happens to everybody. Tuneless You take it like a Caesar. Bramble I bet she died Saturday night. Tuneless Right. Bramble 'Cause I woke from a dream with a terrible start. Tuneless You see the sympathy between those two who love each other. Bramble I sensed a cold hand. Tuneless And, she told you goodbye. Bramble I saw an invisible phantom. There--who disappeared. But, how did her death occur? Tuneless I am going to tell you, sir. You know that Saturday night-- Bramble Yes? Tuneless In the moment she appeared to you--death took her. But the ghost already told you-- Bramble What happened? Tuneless Death took her. I don't like to tell sad tales like these. Bramble Tell me some circumstances. Tuneless If you absolutely wish to know the circumstances, I'll tell you right away that she died suddenly. Bramble Of apoplexy? Tuneless No, sir--of--of emotion. They just told her you had died at the wells. Suddenly, a seizure came on--and the faint turned into a coma--and you are now a widower. Bramble (drawing out a handkerchief) If it is true she died of sadness, I am obligated to weep. (low) But, how shall I manage it? Boo hoo. Tuneless Don't weep any more. I've got important business to discuss. Bramble Really, I've suffered an irreparable loss. Tuneless That can be repaired, sir--for-- Bramble She was the best of wives--boo hoo. Tuneless Listen to me, please-- Bramble Easy going--affectionate--boo hoo. Tuneless Listen, will you! Bramble Tender--boo--sincere hoo--honest boo--the best heart--the best heart-- hoo--hoo--hoo. Tuneless (aside) If he's going to weep forever, he'll mess up my plans. (pulling Bramble by the arm) Sir, you make me feel compassion for you. The woman didn't die of sadness. I told you at first to console you. But the truth is--as all the doctors agree--she died of pure joy! Bramble I cannot believe she wished my death. Tuneless To wish your death, no, but she hoped you wouldn't live as long as she. Bramble Oh, as to that, I believe it, indeed. Tuneless She wished to inherit your wealth. Bramble Ah! Self-interest. Tuneless Interest rendered her soft and caressing. But, at the bottom she had a hardness for you. Bramble Ah, that's a bad heart. Tuneless You remember, one day, enraged against you, she had such self control she was able to embrace you. She almost split. She told her maids all the injuries she wished, but didn't dare to express to you. In her mind, she was strangling you. Bramble A bad woman. Tuneless Malicious. Bramble Secretive. Tuneless Darkly so. Bramble If I were so indignant-- Tuneless Malign-- Bramble Outrageous. Tuneless Demonic. Bramble So extravagant. Tuneless She was a devil. Bramble If she hadn't died, I would kill her. Tuneless Therefore, cry no more. Recollect the tenderness you have for Arabella--remember you told me of it? In confidence, of course. If you still love that little Arabella, I warn you, the Countess intends to marry her today. Bramble Today! Tuneless >From friendship, that's what I wish you to prevent. But, before going into that, it's essential that you avoid the Countess until we have taken certain measures with Arabella. But, hide yourself quickly in these apartments while I go to Arabella. Bramble You upset me. Tuneless Go in, quickly. (pushing him out) Because I will lead Arabella to you instantly. (Exit Bramble.) Tuneless My idea is good; he's fallen into the trap. A weak little genius wrapped up in his business affairs--and stupid in everything else. One sees many like that. Now to prevent-- But, if someone should undeceive him-- (going, then stopping) Still, I have to go. (returning) Better stay. How to begin-- (Enter Mr. MacPherson and Mrs. MacPherson.) Mrs. MacPherson Ah, sir. Mr. Bramble is returned. What a misfortune! MacPherson He came post haste. That's the trouble. Mrs. MacPherson There's the trouble. MacPherson If his wife sees him, she'll know he's not dead. Mrs. MacPherson No more marriage. MacPherson No partying--no wedding. Mrs. MacPherson No drinking. MacPherson Nothing. Tuneless Listen to me--if you what to celebrate, we must make him believe his wife is dead. MacPherson Ho, ho, ho--both dead. Mrs. MacPherson And both widows. Tuneless If he asks you--say no more than "She is dead."-- But when? But how? But why? MacPherson She is dead. Tuneless Very good. But that's not the only thing. We must prevent these two from meeting, and to do that you may have to counterfeit drunkenness. Mrs. MacPherson I'll take care of that. We will drink despite him. Tuneless Yes. Watch him for me until I come back. (Exit Tuneless.) MacPherson We have to say "Your wife is dead, and we're drinking our sorrows." Mrs. MacPherson Maybe he can hear us. Sing something about his dead wife. MacPherson That's a fine idea. A fine idea, Hem, la, la, la. My wife is dead, my wife is dead, And my heart, it feels like lead--Ooh! (Enter Bramble.) Bramble What's this? Do you rejoice in my sorrow? MacPherson Your wife is dead and we're drinking. Mrs. MacPherson And we are drinking. Bramble These rogues are drunk. (trying to leave) MacPherson (stopping him) Drink away your sorrows. It's the only way. Bramble (trying to pass) What's all this? Mr. and Mrs. MacPherson Console yourself. Sit down in this chair. Bramble (forced to sit) The devil! Mrs. MacPherson You wife has left us. It's sad. We must drink until she returns. MacPherson If my wife dies, I will get drunk for her epitaph. Bramble I'm getting nothing from these drunks. I'd better wait till Tuneless returns. Mrs. MacPherson While we're waiting for Tuneless, we'll sing you a little song to chase your sorrows away. Bramble Death. Mr. and Mrs. MacPherson Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to the funeral we'll go, heigh ho, heigh ho-- (Enter Tuneless and Arabella.) Tuneless Silence. Get out. There Miss, come on in. (Exit Mr. and Mrs. MacPherson.) Arabella Here he is. I'm going to play my part wonderfully. Bramble Ah--they're gone. Let's join Tuneless. Arabella I come to ask your bounty, sir. I am desolate. Bramble Console yourself, my dear child. I will prevent the Countess from marrying you. Arabella She wants to marry me to a man with no money at all. That's what distresses me. Tuneless No money at all. Sir, you know she has nothing. And, when one marries without money--it makes for a lot of sad children. The Countess said this fellow had a fortune. Arabella I don't believe in fortunes, except when I see them already in existence. Tuneless She said he is young. Arabella Then, he will be unfaithful. Tuneless The older a man is, the more likely you'll love him for the rest of his life. Arabella I always wanted a husband with a settled disposition. Tuneless Who has been previously married. Arabella Who always indulges his wife in a thousand ways. Tuneless Like you, for example. Arabella Unfortunately, I will never be as happy as my aunt was. Bramble I like the prudence, the wisdom, and the good taste of this tasty little person. Arabella It's my natural taste, you know, sir. I am incapable of loving a young man. But, I am capable of a real affection for those who treat me right. Bramble Noble sentiments, noble sentiments. I am so charmed, so delighted, that I am going to see the Countess right now. Ah, there she is in the gallery. I am going to speak to her this moment. (Exit Bramble.) Arabella It's not going badly. But, if my aunt should come in-- Tuneless Fear nothing. These two departed will not meet so soon. For Desmond is keeping the widow in the garden, and we are keeping the husband here. The Countess is in on the plot, and is going to keep him in his apartment, one way or another. Arabella Hurry then, to do on our side as well as Desmond has done on his. Tuneless You must make your contribution by making the old widower in love, while Desmond does the same with the widow. (Enter Steward, Countess, Lucy.) Countess Love doesn't hide itself, sir, and you have accosted me in a manner that convinces me you have a great deal for Arabella. Bramble Not at all, Madame, but with respect-- Countess I have only one word to say to you about the matter. If you don't want me to marry off Arabella, and to keep her to console you in your grief, and then later marry her--then you must do something for your nephew. You know how highly I think of Desmond. I have spoken to you a hundred times for him--uselessly. And I am going to take this opportunity--the solicitor is downstairs--I am going to marry Arabella, before your very eyes, if you don't transfer some of your wealth to Desmond. Bramble I am a reasonable man. Countess We'll go see. But, come to my apartment to agree on the contract. Follow us, Arabella. Your presence will facilitate this little accommodation. (Exit Bramble, Countess, Arabella, and Tuneless. After a moment, enter Desmond and Lucy.) Desmond Well, Lucy? Lucy They are about to tax your uncle. What have you done to hasten the liberality of our widow? Desmond I pressed her in a lively way. But she was pressing me in a lively way, also. Lucy Her love presses. Desmond I pretend not to understand her passionate talk. But the less I seem to understand, the more she reveals. I can't hold her back. I had to leave her alone in the garden--where she stayed to hide her confusion. She sighs, she excites herself-- Lucy A declaration is coming. It wants to come forth. She will unburden her heart. She is meditating some passionate declaration which may be obscure--or plain enough. Desmond All too plain, I fear. I see her coming. I am not going to wait to hear this. (Exit Desmond.) Widow (entering) Where did he go, Lucy? Lucy (pointing her in the wrong direction) That way, I think. Widow Desmond. Desmond. I must talk to you. (Exit Widow. Enter Tuneless.) Lucy Ah, Tuneless, everything's a mess here. Tuneless Ah, Lucy, everything's even worse on the other side. Lucy Truly, she really wants to make a gift. Tuneless In truth, he wants to make a gift. Lucy But, Tuneless-- Tuneless But, Lucy-- Lucy But first, she wants to assure herself that Desmond-- Tuneless He wishes to be first secure of Arabella. He will give, when the contract is signed. Lucy In signing the contract, she says. Tuneless I can't see any hope. Lucy My genius is exhausted. Tuneless Our intrigue falls of its own weight. Lucy She's too sly. Tuneless He's too clever. Very well. Lucy, let us at least have the pleasure of dashing their hopes of this double marriage. Lucy What you suggest will do no good as far as I can see. I haven't the audacity to laugh about it. They'll be furious. (Exit Lucy.) Tuneless Me, I always have the courage to amuse myself. Let's see what will become of this. The husband is left alone in his apartment--his wife is alone in hers. They are both saddled for the race. Let's see who will win. Good, here's the husband. I also see the wife. Let's turn out the lights so as to make this double widowhood last a bit longer. (Tuneless turns out the lights. Bramble enters.) Bramble The Countess thinks she's found her dupe. She intends to get me to give my money to Desmond, and then marry Arabella to whoever she pleases. But Arabella would be in despair not to marry me. I told her to meet me here so we could take some precautions. She's on her way. Let's wait here. (stepping into the shadows) (Enter Widow.) Widow I can't find Desmond anywhere. Someone turned out the lights. He couldn't have given Arabella a rendez-vous here? Bramble (aside) If Arabella agrees, I will marry her, in spite of the Countess. I've only to take her away secretly. But, what's happening? Widow It's Desmond, waiting for Arabella! Bramble Arabella is following me. How lucky I am, that she's promised to marry me. Ah! Widow How he sighs for her. The little traitor! Bramble It's Arabella who's looking for me. Here I am. Widow The resemblance of their voices always astonishes me. How I love one and hate the other. Bramble Am I the one you're looking for? Widow His voice makes me tremble-- But, I am crazy--it's Desmond's voice that sounds like that. I'll pretend to be Arabella. I've come to our rendez-vous, my dear, Desmond. Bramble Desmond--what, is it Desmond you come to see, after having promised never to be with anyone but me? Widow Ah! It's the true raging voice of my husband. Bramble Ingrate! Liar! Widow His ghost reproaches me. Bramble To betray me thus. Widow His ghost returns. Let's get out of here! (runs and falls into a chair) My legs have betrayed me! Let me call for help. Ah! My voice fails me. Bramble You wish to marry Desmond? Widow I didn't say that. Bramble What! Didn't I hear right--"Isn't it Desmond?" Widow Oh, no. I will never have another except you. Bramble Bah! Never have another-- Widow No, no, husband, no. Bramble She trembles and calls me her husband. She fears the Countess. There's only me here--don't be afraid. Follow me. Widow Ha--a, a, a-- Bramble (taking her hand) Where are you then? Widow (fainting) Ah. Bramble Don't be afraid--it's me who's got your hand. Widow I know it's you. Bramble Yes,--while you call me your husband, you will be my wife. You will love me a little--right? Hey--modesty renders her silent. Hmm. How much more delightful this hand is to kiss than that of my late wife. Hers was rough, this is soft. But don't lose any time. Come with me. (pulling her) What is it? What's wrong? Widow Ah, Desmond-- Bramble What do I hear? (Enter Tuneless with a candle. The Widow and Bramble see each other, scream, and exit in different directions.) Tuneless I turn the thing into raillery. Now, we shall see. I have an idea that I must communicate to Lucy. (Exit Tuneless.) [Curtain in the original. End of Act II.] (The lights darken, indicating the passage of time. Enter Arabella and Lucy.) Lucy Mr. Bramble is outraged not to be a widower. He curses the Countess who has given him his false joy--but, he doesn't break with Tuneless, because he's afraid Tuneless will inform his dear lady of his infidelity. He still loves you, but he's still more amorous of inheriting from his wife. This should make it easier for Tuneless to bring him round. Arabella Really, what good can all this do? Lucy It may help--with luck. But frankly, I don't think it will help. Let's retire. I'm going to see in what shape my lady is in. (Exit Lucy and Arabella. Enter Tuneless and Bramble.) Tuneless Yes, sir, it's dissimulation that keeps society going between men-- civil and matrimonial. Bramble Ouf! Tuneless Under the shelter of dissimulation, courtiers embrace each other, women compliment each other, and authors bow to each other at a distance. Dissimulation creates new friendships and smoothes over old hatreds. Bramble Ouf! Tuneless Without dissimulation, how many secret separations would grow into public divorces. But dissimulation gives wisdom to men, joy to husbands--that's why there are so many happy families at present. Bramble Ah, my dear Tuneless-- Tuneless You begin to dissimulate--. You hide from me your fear that I might reveal to your wife your passion for-- Don't worry, I am discreet, and she herself cannot prove, even if she suspects, that you took her for Arabella--for you spoke low and she fainted. Bramble I am furious when I think-- Tuneless That she didn't faint? Bramble The liar. Tuneless It's with lying that you find the way to dissimulate. Bramble What! All the caresses that she gave me for ten years were only to have my wealth. Tuneless While you permitted her to caress, so you could have hers. Bramble A woman who hopes to outlive her husband is very unnatural. Tuneless For a man to wish to live longer than is wife is very--natural. Bramble To have a criminal passion for my nephew. Tuneless While you have an innocent tenderness for her niece. Bramble Heaven will punish her and all those who wish the death of others. Such people always die first. Tuneless Good. You will both predecease the other. Bramble Now, I must dissimulate to keep the peace at home, and to preserve my honor before the world. Tuneless Very good. But, remember the essential thing. Send your nephew to the Indies. Bramble To the Indies. I will spare nothing to get him there. Tuneless Here--begin your dissimulation with the Countess. Go joke with her about the trick she played on you, and joke in the faces of all those who do nothing but laugh behind your back. Bramble That's the role I've got to take. (Exit Bramble. After a moment, enter Lucy from another direction.) Lucy Well, Tuneless? Tuneless I've brought him to the point at which I want him. He will dissimulate. But, I had trouble calming his rage. Lucy The rage of my mistress is very violent. To soften it, she fainted twice. Tuneless It's the strength of women to have such little weaknesses ready at their command. For when these great accidents occur--the attack is very strong--and a woman saves herself by fainting or weeping. Lucy She fortifies herself in this way against reflections, and when she gets her strength back, there are tirades of abuse against her husband--but she leave the name blank. Tuneless Let's finish. It's time to manage the interview. Lucy Yes. Here's the lady--bring on the husband. Tuneless I'll go fetch him. (Exit Tuneless. Enter Widow from another direction.) Widow Where are you at, Lucy? You've abandoned me in my rage. I am furious against the Countess. Lucy That is to say, against your husband. Widow To deceive me, to betray me. He wanted me to die--the cruel man--the traitor. Lucy Oh, yes, more a traitor than the Countess. But, your husband also deserves your rage. First of all, because he is alive--and because he is unfaithful. But for fear that he may realize you are also unfaithful, feign, Madame, as I have told you. Widow I tremble with fear that he suspects me. Perhaps, in my mourning, I innocently called on Desmond. Lucy Innocently, of course. But now virtue and propriety insist, that in the batting of an eye, change your love into esteem. And, if your husband should eventually die, you may, in another bat of an eye, change your esteem into love. Widow Your advice is so wise. I will follow it. And send Arabella a hundred leagues from here. Lucy So. Let's go, embrace your husband as if nothing happened. Widow It will be very hard to hide my anger. (Enter Tuneless and Bramble.) Lucy Here he is. Recall all the feelings you had on your wedding day. Widow I do. I'm freezing. My blood is like ice. Lucy It's conjugal tenderness thawing. Tuneless Force yourself. Let no rancor show on your face. Lucy Courage, Madame. Tuneless Make an effort, sir. Lucy Strength. Tuneless Go on, now. (Bramble and the Widow look at each other and run to embrace. As they hug, their faces show outraged grimaces.) Bramble I see my dear wife again. Widow And my equally dear husband! (They embrace and separate several times, breathing like divers who surface for air, nauseated.) Bramble Ecch! Widow Ouf! Bramble (turning to his wife with a joyful, but somehow tortured look) My joy is so great that it's frightful--ah-ecch! Widow My delight is too much to bear--yuck! Bramble Why is it that your joy appears troubled? Widow Emotions of rage come over me--against the Countess. In making you believe I was dead, she exposed you to a possible seizure. You might have died. Bramble You?--she would've enjoyed to make me die. Widow Thank God's Mercy, you look--well. You appear healthy. I am furious with--that woman. Bramble All this has merely redoubled my feelings for you. I can't really express them. Widow I feel, also, that my love for you--I don't know how to say it. Huh-- how I hate the Countess. Bramble This is like a renewal of the feelings I had for you when we first met. Widow Yes. It's like a second honeymoon. Tuneless A posthumous marriage. Bramble A renewal of my love. Yes, I also wish to take these little precautions that will assure you are cared for properly when I die. Widow I want you to survive me to enjoy my wealth. All that you deserve of it. Bramble As, so as to no longer have to put up with the presence of anyone around me who might take something from you when I die, I've decided to send my nephew to the Indies. Widow (with surprise and spite) And, for the same reason, I--I am going to marry Arabella a hundred leagues from here. Bramble You tell me that with a little spite. It's innocently that I speak to you of separating from Desmond. Widow And, I have nothing but pure good intentions in separating from Arabella. (Enter the Countess's Maid.) Maid Here is the Countess, coming to rejoice. We are going to sing and dance all night. It's not only for the three marriages I see on the agency, WE are ready for a wedding, you see. Bramble What's that about three weddings? Maid Yours first--for the Countess regards all this as a new marriage. Widow She's right. But not one made in Heaven. Bramble And the two others? Maid Don't you know? Didn't you know the joke was to get money from you to marry Desmond in Wales. And you, Madame, understood, of course, that the money asked from you was to marry Arabella in Scotland. But, since you refused to give it, the Countess is bearing the expenses herself. Widow (low, to Lucy) Desmond in Wales! Lucy Keep a straight face--virtue. Bramble Arabella in Scotland! Tuneless Shut up, sir. Dissimulation. (Enter the Countess, Arabella, Desmond, and the MacPhersons.) Countess I come to share your joy in being reunited, in seeing each other again, like Orpheus and Eurydice. And to celebrate the two marriages I've made. Now, enjoy yourselves. (The MacPhersons start to sing: La, la, la--) Countess Stop the singing. I perceive that instead of rejoicing you, something saddens you. There's something here I don't understand. When I marry a nephew who displeases you so much that you are sending him away-- Bramble Send him away, Madame, that's what I wish-- Countess And, when I take your niece off your hands-- Widow You please me greatly, Madame. Countess Arabella will leave tomorrow for Scotland. Widow I consent, but-- Countess And your nephew to Wales-- Bramble That's what I want--but-- Countess Why then, are you both irritated, when I do what contents each of you? Lucy Madame doesn't want to be separated from her only niece. Tuneless The gentleman always wishes to see his dear nephew. Countess I don't believe that you love them at all. Yet--your tenderness for them gives me an idea. It would keep them here. I'll marry them to each other--if you give your consent to it. Tuneless This marriage would enrage your wife, and--Arabella would always be where you could get at her. Lucy This marriage would punish your husband, and someday, with Desmond about, you might-- Countess You hesitate at this second proposition. That makes me suspect-- Widow Not at all, Madame. Bramble You deceive yourself. Countess What then made you stop? Widow Because, Madame, having destined my wealth for a husband who is unspeakably dear to me-- Bramble Yes, Madame, and to protect mine for a loving spouse-- Countess Oh, I'm delighted to be deceived in my suspicions. I see the point that causes you hesitation. I ask nothing for them. Leave your money to each other, and let them take from the survivor. That way, they will ultimately get all your wealth, and you will take proper care of your spouse. Desmond (to Widow) Madame, prevent them from separating me from your presence. Arabella (to Bramble, low) Sir, will you let them take me away from you into Scotland? Bramble What determines me is the fear of--of displeasing my wife. Widow The fear that I have of angering my husband-- Countess Then, the marriage is made. Give your hands. Tuneless Such a pretty marriage merits a complete Opera. But unfortunately, we have neither musicians nor dancers. And, in the town they have only peasants. Be content, therefore, to listen to the little cantata I have composed. We are going to rehearse it in your presence. And, while we lack musicians, I myself will sing it for you. La, la, la. (While Tuneless is getting ready, they all run away.) CURTAIN Publication Date: May 20th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.dufresny

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rwby-lover-kirito-039-s-surprise-part-12/

RWBY lover, Asuna Yuuki Kirito's Surprise part 12 Gal's love Gal woke up with kazuto laying in the hospital bed as the nurse comes in "tell him when he wakes up that we are releasing him right as he wakes up" she said with a smile as Gal nodded at the nurse just looking at kazuto as he slept silently as he started to say Gals name as he sleeps "i ... i love you gal" he mutters as he wakes up jumping up fast as he saw Gal sitting there next to him holding his hand "hi there kazuto kun, guess what your being realesed today from the hospital as Gal helped him up out of the bed as she walked out side as he got dressed and opened the door as Gal looked at him smiling "lets go Gal" he said with confidence as he kissed her, when they got outside kazuto couldnt walk so they gave him a wheel chair untill he could walk again as she took him home to care for him on her own as they got there they noticed everyone was gone, "imma make you breakfast kazuto" he stood up as he almost fell back but caught himself as he went to the couch and layed down on it as Gal put on the apron and smiled at him "i love you kazuto - kun" she said with a smile as she saw he was asleep already as she continued to make breakfast for him, "kazuto kun she whispered into his ear as he opened his eyes looking at Gal as he smiled "i made breakfast for you as she helped him up and into the chair so he could eat" as he took one bite "this is delicious" he said with an amazed look on his face as kazuto's aunt walked into the house as she smelt food when she walked in as silica walked in behind her bringing in bags of grocerys as gal smiled at them "you made breakfast" kazuto's aunt said with a smile on her face as she sat next to kirito and so did silica as Gal gave them both a plate of what she made as they both took a bit and there eyes widened with excitement "this is really good" they both said with a smile on there face, after break fast kazuto and Gal were walking up the stairs as she tried to hold him up trying to make shure he doesnt fall as they got to his room she put him on the bed as they layed there so kazuto could go to sleep as he hugged her and held her as he fell asleep and she did the same and fell asleep. Gal's love part 2 Silica was laying on bed in her room as she got up and walked out and went to kazuto's room to knock on the door as she just opened the door as she saw kazuto and Gal asleep as she closed the door quietly as she walked down stairs " ill be back in a little bit imma go meet up with elisbeth" she said to kazuto's aunt as she walked out of the house, Gal awoke looking at kazuto as she smiled and kissed him on the nose as he woke up looking at her "hi" Gal said with a smile "hi" kazuto answer'd as he kissed her and got up as he stretched as kazuto's aunt knocked on the door "kazuto and Gal come out, lets go shoping i wanna buy you two something special since silica went to go hang out with klien and elisbeth" she said with a smile on her face as they opened the door and walk out side to the car as kazuto's aunt drove them down to the mall and dropped them off and gave kazuto 5000 yen (50 dollars) as he grabbed gal by the hand and they walked into the mall as kazuto went into the jewelry part and baught this really expensive diamond ring "she'll love this" he put it in a white box and put it in his back pocket as he 'walked bk to gal and showed her the ring as she gasped and jumped for joy as she opened it and she blushed as she kissed him on the lips "thank you kazuto kun. they left the mall and went home as kazuto's aunt asked what he baught her as Gal showed her the ring "oh my god" she said with excitement "i know right, i love it to" kazuto smiled as he kissed her "with that ring i love you for forever and ever" he smiled as he said it and kisses her again "well good night aunt were going to bed" kazuto said as he grab Gal by the hand and walked up to his room with her as they both lay in there bed falling asleep. Publication Date: October 11th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-dnf10382a424525

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bethany-farner-how-come-i-didn-039-t-see-it/

Bethany Farner How Come I Didn't See It? How Come I Didn't See It? Sometimes in life the world will give you signs that you're doing something worng or, something isn't right. Though sometimes the most obvious signs can come out blindly. It's our job to make sure that they don't come out blindly. Let's just say I didn't do my job correctly. "Gabriel! Wait Up!" I yelled running through the schoolhalls trying to keep up with my best friend Gabe. Once i got close enough I jumped on his back wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. "Oof!" He said stumbling back a few feet before regaining his balance. "Well Hello to you to!" He said chuckling grabbing my legs to help support me. "Guess what?" I squealed as he gave me a piggyback ride to the lunch room. "What?" He smirked. "Jon Lucas just asked me out!" I said smiling. He smiled back "That's great" he said as I jumped in his arms to give him a hug. Sign one: When I was hugging Gabe I didn't notice the hard angry look on his face. "Can you believe it Gabe? He's like the hottest guy in school!" I Exclamied to him as we were in the lunch line. He laughed softly "Nope! Can't believe it" "I've been crushing on him since 8th grade! 8th grade and now me Ella Borst gets to date the Jon Lucas!" I said. I was so excited that the star quaterback Jon Lucas had just asked me out on a date with him this Saturday that I didn't see the disapointed look in Gabe's eyes. Text: (Pictures from Google) All rights reserved. Publication Date: November 23rd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-bethany456

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-hugs-and-kisses-to-walk-among-the-dead/

Hugs.And.Kisses To Walk Among The Dead Chapter 1 Chapter 1 The Towers Room 319 Patient: Peterson, Aubrey (77012E) Date of Birth: 10/31/1992 Date of Admittance: 11/05/2000 Condition: Suffers from sever hallucinations and delusional fantasies of a place called Halloween Town. Notes: No progress Patient: Williams, Sandra (78360Y) Date of Birth: November 25, 1988 Date of Admittance: 03/07/1996 Condition: Schizophrenic cutter. Under severe emotional stress, reverts to 'Sandra' personality, who feels no pain and cuts not only self, but anything within reach. Has developed bulimia over past several years. Notes: No progress Leon Jacobs looked over his new assignment sheet. "Heh, lucky you." One of his coworkers, Shawn Grouse, chuckled. "You're still stuck with craziest in this place." He patted Leon's shoulder and walked off. Leon looked at the sheet again. Working in an asylum meant that all the patients were crazy. He hadn't even heard of these two, so how bad could they be? xXx I woke up to see a pair of emerald eyes staring at me. "Sandy, get off me." The girl climbed off my stomach. "You didn't wake up. I thought you'd missed it." "I was busy." I muttered, sitting up. Sandy Williams had been my roommate since I had been taken to The Towers five days after my eighth birthday. She was very skinny; her bones showed through her deep tan skin everywhere, and her gown hung on her like a tablecloth. Black hair fell to her butt, thin, stringy, and lifeless. Pale scars crisscrossed the bottom of her arms. At sixteen, she was four years older than me, it'd be three in a few months, and the closest thing to a caring mother I'd had in the five-and-a-half years I've been here. "Making goo-goo eyes at your boyfriend?" She asked with a disproving tone. I rolled my eyes. "Sandy, Lock isn't my boyfriend. And no, I was helping Sally pick some Witch Hazel. She was out." "Oh. That's okay then." She sat down on her bed. "We've got a new doctor." I looked up. "So we finally scared off Anderson then?" She smiled. "He's two rooms down." I laughed. She took on a more serious tone. "But I don't think we can get rid of this one. He's very good. He's the one who fixed Candace." "Candy? He fixed Candy?" Candace Jones was a suicidal pyromaniac who'd set herself on fire and tried to hang herself after she'd slit her wrists open. You think that would've killed her, but no. The flames burned up the rope and set off the fire alarm. The rope snapped, the fire was put out by the sprinklers, and the paramedics got there in time to save her from the blood loss. Then, she got sent here. Lucky her. She'd been released two months ago. Sandy nodded again. I smirked. "Well, he can't fix something that's not broken. Neither of us is broken, so we're simply not fixable." The doors opened and our nurse, Juliet, walked in. She was always bright and happy; she definitely shouldn't have been working here. "Breakfast girls." She set the trays on the swiveling tables attached to our beds. I stared at mine like I expected it to jump up and bite me. Which, knowing this place and its food, it very well might. "I know you don't like eating, Aubrey, but try today, okay?" I grunted. She just sighed and walked out. I watched as Sandy scarfed down her food at a sickening rate, and then finished off whatever I hadn't eaten. How she managed to do that and stay skin and bones amazed me. Seconds later, she ran to the bathroom, and I could hear her puke. Right, that's how. xXx Leon knocked on the door of room 319. "It's open." A voice from inside called. He opened the door to see a pair of girls sitting on one of the regulation beds in the room. "You're a lot more polite than Dr. Anderson was." One said. "You must be Sandra." He smiled warmly. Her face grew icy. "It's Sandy." He nodded. "I see. I apologize, Sandy. So that must be Aubrey, right?" He gestured to the other girl, who was hunched over, concentrating on something. "She won't say anything until she's done." Sandy told him, her eyes on the other girl's face. "Done? With what?" He walked to Aubrey's side to her working on a drawing that seemed to be of a skeleton and a rag doll. "I see. Do you mind if I sit down?" Sandy shrugged. "You're the one in charge." Leon pulled a chair over and sat down, examining the girls. Sandy was very tall and lanky, even sitting down. She was probably near his height, which was 6'2", but barely had more meat on her than the skeleton in the drawing. Her face was hollow, but her emerald eyes burned with strong emotion. Her skin was dark tan and her hair was ebony black and hung around her like a veil. He guessed she was part Mexican. Aubrey was quite the opposite. She was skinny, though nowhere near the twig-like state of skinny Sandy was. Her hair was short and messy, as well as an interesting shade of silvery blonde. Her skin was, he thought, barely a shade a way from becoming translucent. She put the pencil down suddenly and looked up at him with startling reddish-pink eyes. 'She's albino. That explains it.' He thought to himself. "Doctor, I'm sure you didn't come here simply to chat with us, so what is it you want?" Her voice held a slight tone of authority, as though she was saying, 'crazy or not, I'm still better than you'. He smiled nonetheless. "Actually, I came to tell you that both of you are to come to mandatory sessions with me every day from now on." Neither looked pleased. "For how long?" Sandy demanded angrily. "Until we make some progress." He smiled again and left the room. xXx Sandy jumped off my bed in rage and began pacing the floor. "Just who the hell does he think he is! 'Mandatory sessions'. Oh please!" I added a few more shadows beneath Sally's left eye. "Watch it, Sandy. We don't need you snapping again. You punched out two orderlies got stuck in solitary for a week last time." "Yeah, I know. But come on!" I set the book down on my knees and looked up at her. "I don't like it either, but we don't have a choice." Sandy pouted. And she was supposed to be the mature one? "But Aubrey-!" I shook my head. "I'll talk to Jack tonight, okay? We'll get rid of him, just like we got rid of the last two. Until then, we'll go to the sessions." I picked the book back up and went back to my drawing. There were a few minutes of silence. "Aubrey?" "Hmm?" I darkened a few of the pinstripes on Jack's coat. "Will you... will you take me to Halloween Town sometime?" I looked up, a bit startled by her sudden request. "I- I don't know if I can, Sandy. I mean, I hardly know how I get myself there." She leant towards me a bit. "But if you could... if you found a way?" I sighed. "If I find a way, Sandy, then I'll take you to Halloween Town." She smiled happily. "Promise?" "I promise you. Now, let me get back to my drawing. I need to get it finished." Chapter 2 Chapter 2 The First Session Username: jacobsl Password: a3bd2ern2suy2 ACCESS GRANTED Patient file #77012E PROCESSING REQUEST... Patient: Peterson, Aubrey (77012E) Date of Birth: October 31, 1992 Date of Admittance: November 5, 1998 Condition: Suffers from sever hallucinations and delusional fantasies of a place called Halloween Town. Notes: No progress. x-Two weeks later-x "I got a phone call from your sister yesterday after you left." Aubrey didn't react to this statement. She instead chose to stare at the clock above Leon's head. "She's made an appointment to come and see you tomorrow. Isn't that nice?" "Doctor, please stop talking to me as though I'm an infant." She finally replied. Leon frowned. "You didn't answer my question, Aubrey." She sighed and met his gaze, unblinking. "It would be if my mother didn't put her up to it. She won't come out here herself to check up on me, so she sends Emily." "Really." Leon asked curiously, writing this down in his notes. Aubrey continued. "And she only comes on two days: the first of May, which is tomorrow, and my birthday." Leon jotted something else down. "Doesn't that make you sad that your family doesn't want to come visit you? Is that why you created Halloween Town?" Aubrey groaned in frustration. "I've already told you, I didn't create it. It's always just been there." "But before your father killed himsel-" "My dad didn't kill himself!" She jumped out of her seat, enraged. "It was a car accident. I don't care what anyone says, he was murdered!" She ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Leon smiled. They were making progress... xXx I couldn't get to sleep fast enough that night, even with an IV pumping anesthesia into my bloodstream. When I opened my eyes again, I was standing in front of a dead tree with a pumpkin shaped door on it. I turned its nose, the doorknob, shoved it open, and jumped through, landing, quite painfully by the way, on my butt. "You're late." I looked up to see a grinning devil's mask staring at me. "Where's Jack?" Lock 'tsk'-ed, trying to sound annoyed. "Glad to see you too, Aubrey." "I'm sorry. Hi Lock, great to see you, where's Jack?" I asked, grinning. He helped me up, and I began dusting myself off. Not like there was really any dust in the Hinterlands, it was just something to do to get Lock talking. "Busy. Doctor F's latest experiment got loose." I stopped dusting myself off. "You didn't...?" "Shock, Barrel, and I are banished, remember?" I looked at him skeptically. "That hasn't stopped you before." He groaned. "It wasn't me this time. I cross my little black heart." I laughed and hugged him. Hey, I didn't lie to Sandy. Technically, Lock isn't my boyfriend. Also technically, I wasn't supposed to be seeing him at all. "So where are Shock and Barrel anyways?" "Shock's locked herself in her room again, and Barrel's probably watching the experiment try to destroy the town, even though he's not supposed to be there and is going to get all three of us in trouble." He shook his head. I couldn't help smiling. Lock had... matured, I guess would be the only word for it, since Oogie died. Unfortunately, he was the only one of the three. Don't get me wrong, he was still just as nasty with his pranks, but he now had the common sense of when enough was enough. That didn't stop the spider incident though... I sat down, tugging him next to me. "So do they still hate me?" Lock shrugged. "Barrel's coming around, I think, but Shock..." "Not so much?" He nodded. "God, what did I ever do to her to make her hate me?" "Well, you're alive for one thing. And you stole me." I pouted. "I didn't steal you, you come here of your own free will." "Not in her eyes." He laughed. I frowned. "You know I hate talking to you with that mask on. I can never tell what you're feeling." And so, to remedy this problem, I did the obvious thing: I stole it. "Hey!" I scrambled as he grabbed at me and ran behind a tree. "You have to catch me if you want it back!" "Not much of a challenge." I jumped as he appeared next to me, but then stubbornly stuck the mask behind my back. "Aubrey..." Lock growled, crossing his arms. I grinned, if you'll excuse the pun, devilishly. "You've gotta pay up first." He leaned down, he was a few inches taller than me, being a guy, and a year older, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "Now, can I have my mask back?" I nodded and handed him the mask. "Aubrey?" Jack's voice called. Lock looked over his shoulder. "I'll see you later." I nodded. "Bye." He ran off, back towards the tree house. Jack came over the hill. "Ah, so you're here already. Sorry I'm late, I'm afraid Dr. Finklestein's latest experiment malfunctioned and broke out." "Ah." Was all I could think to say, considering that was old news to me. He put a bony hand on my shoulder. "Is something wrong?" I growled. "It's that new doctor I've got. He's such a... a prick!" I stopped myself from cursing just in time. Jack was always telling me to watch my language. Jack, forever wanting to be a helpful skeleton, just had to offer his help. "Want me to come give him a good scare?" I shook my head. "No. He'd dismiss is as a nightmare. Nothing short of you and Oogie Boogie would get rid of this guy. Too bad that bag of bugs isn't around." That may have surprised Jack a little. Normally, I would never wish Oogie's presence on anyone. He smiled anyway. "Well, I have something that may take your mind off it. Zero! C'mere boy!" The ghost dog flew up, barking happily... right before he happily flew up to lick my face. I laughed, futilely attempting to avoid him. That dog could cheer anyone up. xXx Chapter 3 Chapter 3- Guess who? "Mom, why do I have to go visit Aubrey?" Emily asked, clearly upset. "Don't start this again, Emily. You know why." Her brother replied, placing a hand on their mother's. She didn't even look up from her cross stitching when she pushed it away. "The doctor said that to much stress is bad for mom. Driving out to The Towers and seeing Aubrey in... well, it would be too much for her." "But then why do I have to visit her? Why can't you Ryan? She wouldn't care whether or not any of us came to see her anyway." "No..." Her mother whispered. "Aubrey is getting better. She'll come home soon. She... she will." Emily jumped up. "Mom, she's just doing this to get attention. She just does this to upset you!" Her mother didn't look up. "No, Aubrey's a good girl. She'll come home." She suddenly took on a different personality. "Emily, you need to get going if you want to be back in time for dinner. We're having spaghetti. Your favorite." Emily sighed and walked out the door. "Spaghetti is Aubrey's favorite, mom." Her mother didn't hear her, just went back to her stitching. xXx The window in me and Sandy's room looked out over the gate and forest that surrounded The Towers, so when Emily's bright red Mercedes rolled in (mom spoiled the little brat rotten. Well, okay, she's really not so little, she's nineteen), I figured it was time to make myself somewhat presentable. Don't get me wrong, I loved my big sister to death, but she didn't believe me either. Besides, I think she'd take my standard, insane-asylum-white gown as an insult. So, by the time she got up here, I had changed into a light-blue tank top, baggy, white shorts, and flip flops. She, however, put me to shame. With her short, shimmery hair combed straight back, pale lip gloss, light-blue eye shadow on her lids, and a hot pink tank top over a white shirt and a black miniskirt, she looked radiant. As usual. "Pretty dressed up to come visit your crazy little sister." I commented. "I have a date later, if you must know." She said, sitting down. "Scott still?" "Yes." She beamed with pride. I don't know why, though it was probably because she had a boyfriend and I didn't. Like I'd date any of the guys here. I crossed my legs. "How's mom?" Emily shrugged, tossing a few strands of hair back over her shoulder. "She's really worried about you, you know." "Oh is she?" I asked, my tone dripping anger. "Then why won't she come down here to visit me herself?" "Aubrey, you know it kills her to see you here." Emily said sadly. "She'd probably have a breakdown." "Good, I'd have some company." I muttered sarcastically. Emily's expression had changed from a look of half-assed happiness to a look that rested somewhere between shocked and horrified. "Aubrey!" "It's a joke, Ems. I was just kidding." I assured her. And I was… mostly. "It wasn't funny." She smoothed down her skirt. "So how've you been?" I scoffed. "I'm locked up in an asylum. How do you think I've been doing?" Emily sighed. "Aubrey, I really wish you would stop insisting with these fantasies-" "Halloween Town isn't a fantasy!" I growled. Then, under my breath, I added quietly, "Dad would've believed me." But as quiet as I was, Emily still heard me. "Aubrey, please. I know you were traumatized by dad committing suicide, but you need to get over it. You're thirteen now; it's been ten years! You're not just punishing yourself here; you're punishing the entire family, especially mom!" "Dad didn't kill himself!" I yelled, becoming slightly hysterical. "It was an accident!" At that moment, Dr. Jacobs- or Leon, as he asked us to call him- walked in. "I'm sorry to cut your visit short, Ms. Peterson, but Aubrey has a session with me." Emily stood. "Oh, yeah, sure. I'll see you in a few months, Aubrey." She stood and walked out quickly. I didn't move. "We've already had our session." "Well, we're having another one. Now come." I growled. I was not a dog. But it was either you come willingly, or you get dragged there by security. The second option left bruises, so I stood up and followed him out. xXx "You were making quite a scene back there." I didn't answer. "Aubrey, why do you insist your father didn't kill himself?" "It was a car accident." I growled through clenched teeth. I could feel a headache coming on. Dr. Jacobs- sorry, Leon- looked through a few papers on his desk. "According to these reports from the police-" I sat up, surprised and, duh, angry. "I thought police reports were supposed to be confidential." "I have quite a bit of power, Aubrey. If it's to help a case, I can get my hands on just about anything." He smiled at me. I glared in return. Yep, there was that headache, and it certainly wasn't going to help my mood. "Now, according to these reports, he swerved off an empty road and over the edge of a cliff. The blood tests proved that he wasn't drunk, so it must have been deliberate." "Shut up." I hissed. My head throbbed once. He rested his chin on his hands. "Aubrey, I believe your father's death is what's causing you to make up these fantasies. If you could just come to terms with it, I believe we could finally make some progress." "Shut the fuck up, damn you!" I screamed, clutching my head. "I'm not making things up, Halloween Town is real, my father didn't commit suicide, and I'm not crazy! I... I..." The room was spinning and the edges of my vision were going fuzzy. I felt myself fall out of the chair I was in, and pain laced through my skull, then everything went black. xXx Lock rubbed the side of his head. Shock had really good aim when she was mad. At least he wasn't bleeding again. And Barrel asked him why he liked Aubrey instead of Shock. Aubrey wasn't abusive, she didn't threaten to turn him into a toad whenever he said something wrong, which was becoming more and more frequent, actually, and she was- dare he say it?- cute. Other than the small facts that she could only be in Halloween Town from after sundown to right before sunup and she was alive, she was as close to perfect as possible. He shook his head. When did he get so mushy? Thank god Oogie wasn't around any more, or he'd have probably been eaten already. He shuddered. Not a fun way to die. Again. A bug suddenly crawled across his path. Lock glared at it. He'd had a serious dislike of bugs since Oogie tricked him into working for him. He lifted his foot to smash it, but stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Behind his mask, his eyes widened in fear. "What did I say about stepping on bugs!" Oogie roared, holding a squirming, eight year old Lock by the tail over the "fryer" pit in the center of his roulette wheel. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He cried, trying desperately to get out of the Boogeyman's grasp. "It'll never happen again, I promise!" Oogie threw him against a wall. "See that it doesn't." Shock and Barrel, who had been standing at the end of the stairs, in the shadows, ran over and helped him up. "C'mon Lock, let's go." Shock said, helping Barrel to half drag him up the stairs. "Lock?" The devil turned around to see Jack Skellington standing there, not Oogie Boogie. He pushed his mask up. "What do you want?" He snapped, annoyed that he'd been scared by Jack. The Pumpkin King crossed his arms. "Wondering why you're wandering around without Shock and Barrel." "What, are we supposed to be attached at the hip now? I was just taking a walk." Jack raised his eyebrow... or he would've if he'd had eyebrows, when he saw the bruise on Lock's pale cheek. "Quite a nasty little bruise you've got there. What happened?" That earned him another glare and Lock pulled his mask back down. "That's none of your business. Can I go now?" "Actually, I needed to talk to you. After that incident with Dr. Finklestein's experiment-" "I already told you it wasn't me!" "I didn't say it was." The skeleton assured them. "After we caught the experiment, the doctor found some of the parts had malfunctioned because they were too old to work properly." "And what does that have to do with me, Shock, and Barrel?" Jack put a hand over his eyes. "Yes, yes, I was getting to that. The doctor is in need of some assistance to find new parts." "And you were gonna ask us." Lock supplied. "Exactly." "Have you lost whatever brain you had, bone head?" Jack held up a bony hand. "Let me finish. If you three did help, and didn't purposely mess up the experiments, it would end your banishment from the town." "It was one spider!" The teen protested. "We've done worse!" "That one spider nearly ate half the town." Jack reminded him. Lock crossed his arms. "I'll ask, but don't expect a pleasant answer." He ran back toward the graveyard. Jack sighed and headed back toward Guillotine Gate. "I wouldn't dream of it." xXx "Shock, what are you doing?" Barrel asked, eyeing the witch nervously. She was wielding a large, spiked mace. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to knock some sense into Lock's thick head when he gets back." She snapped. Barrel shoved some candy into his mouth. "Maybe he won't come back." "Where else is he going to go? And don't talk with your mouth full, I don't want to see that." Barrel thought about this, then shrugged and continued stuffing his face with candy. The Playroom door banged open, and Shock turned around. "There you are." She raised her weapon. "I didn't want to have to do this to you Lock, but-" She stopped and gasped, dropping the mace with a thud. Barrel looked up, a sucker in between his teeth. "Shock? What..." He, too, gasped in shock (no pun intended, really), his mouth hanging open. The spider berry sucker shattered on the floor. "M-Mr. O-Oogie Boogie!" Shock stuttered. The bogeyman grinned, showing his squirming teeth. "Surprise." Chapter 4 Chapter 4 The Nightmare Begins Again Both teens were too stunned to speak. "Your silence tells me that you're a bit too surprised to see me." He patted Barrel on the head, chuckling. "Well don't worry. I'm quite real." He looked around, frowning slightly. "It seems one of my boys is missing. Where's our favorite devil?" Still, only a stunned silence. "Where's Lock?" He demanded, taking on the tone he got when his dice, which were conveniently in his grip, turned up snake eyes. Shock snapped out of her trance. "Probably off waiting for his little living girlfriend, Aubrey." Oogie grinned at her, again revealing his bug teeth and snake tongue. "Did you say... Aubrey?" Shock shrank back a little. She never had liked it when Oogie grinned like that. It always meant something bad was going to happen. "Y-yes." He cackled loudly. "You're joking! Ooh, this is just too good to be true!" He grinned down at the two. "You aren't to tell Lock that I'm back." "Why not?" Barrel asked, finally regaining his voice. Oogie's grin got even wider. "It's... a surprise." He vanished, and the door slammed shut with an echoing slam, making both jump. Shock turned to Barrel. "We both saw that, right?" He nodded. "Good. Just making sure." "Sh-should we tell Lock? That Mr. Oogie Boogie's back, I mean." Shock smacked him with her hat. "No, stupid! Didn't you hear him! He specifically said not to tell Lock!" "But... it's Lock. We tell him everything." Barrel pointed out, sounding a bit like a whiny toddler. The door opened again, and they both jumped around. "Geez, what's up with you two?" Lock asked, shutting the door behind him. "Nothing." Barrel answered quickly and, if Lock wasn't mistaken, a bit nervously. "Shouldn't you be out with your girlfriend?" Shock asked venomously. "One, Aubrey's not my girlfriend. Two, the sun's still up. Anyway, Jack needs a favor." That definitely didn't help. "What does that pumpkin head want?" Barrel asked, popping a new sucker in his mouth. "The crazy doctor needs help rebuilding his experiment." Shock picked the mace up off the floor, taking up a bit of the floor with it, and stuck it back in its place on the shelf. "And why should we do this? We don't owe Jack any favors. May I remind you, he's the one who banished us in the first place!" "Jack said if we helped, and didn't screw it up on purpose like we usually do, then he'd un-banish us." Shock and Barrel glanced at each other. "No way!" They said in unison. "That town's full of losers anyway." Shock said. "Yeah. And if you go, we'll... we'll..." Barrel stopped to think. "Kick you out of the tree house!" Shock finished. "And Boogie's Boys!" The younger boy added hastily. Lock glared. He'd yet to figure out why they kept using that name even after Jack got rid of Oogie Boogie. "Fine, then ya know what? I quit!" He stormed out, slamming the poor, nearly broken door once more. Shock ran over to the window. "Good riddance!" She yelled at his retreating back. He yelled something quite a bit more rude back and she slammed the window shut with a huff. "What did we just do?" Barrel questioned. Shock wasn't sure she was talking to her or just to himself and didn't answer. "We... we just got rid of Lock, didn't we?" Shock 'hmph'-ed. "We don't need 'im." "That's where you're wrong, my dear." Oogie appeared in the middle of the room. "Wrong? Why do we need Lock?" Barrel asked "Yeah. He's gone soft." Shock said. Oogie chuckled. "I'll tell you soon enough. Now, is my casino still in working order?" xXx "Stupid Shock. Stupid Barrel. Who needs 'em!" Lock yelled over his shoulder as he stepped out of the elevator. Dr. Finklestein would have to make do with just his help. Lock kept walking, stopping when Guillotine Gate came into sight. Did he really want to do this? The entire town hated him, Shock, and Barrel for… well, everything that they had ever done. Then he remembered another problem: he was BANISHED! If he so much as set foot inside that gate, no one would so much as hesitate to kick his ass to Christmas Town and back. Lock jumped as the gate creaked open and Jack's tall, skinny figure walked out. "So, what was the answer?" "A very solid no." Lock told him. "I see." Jack turned around and started to walk back into town. Lock's hesitant voice stopped him. "So Dr. Finkelstein will have to make due with just my help." Jack turned and smiled at Lock as the teenager ran to catch up with him. The smile faded as he saw the worry on Lock's face. "What's wrong?" Lock looked up at him. "You mean other than the fact that everyone in town hates me?" The Pumpkin King chuckled. "Don't worry about that. No one can hold a grudge forever. Besides, you saved everyone in the end. Now come on." Jack gave Lock a little nudge in the back through the gate. It shut behind them as they walked into the square. Jack smiled a little as he noticed how close Lock was staying to him, nearly hiding behind him. Lock looked up at him and noticed the sympathetic smile and stepped back out from behind him, choosing to walk next to him instead, stomaching the glares instead of trying to hide from them. When Lock tried to turn toward Dr. Finklestein's Lab, Jack stopped him. "Why don't we go get something to eat first, hm?" Lock's stomach answered for him, and the devil blushed a little. xXx Jack opened the door of Skellington Manor and stepped aside to let Lock in. "First time I've ever been in here and not been ready to get yelled at." Lock muttered. Jack laughed a little. "Sally, I'm home!" Sally walked out of the kitchen and smiled at Lock. Lock smiled back, if not somewhat sheepishly. "Hi Sally." "Hello Lock. I've got a place all set up for you." She walked over and gave Jack a kiss on the cheek. "Hazel and Zoe need some help with a new type of bone biscuits. Apparently, it isn't going well." "Have fun." Jack called as she walked out the door. Lock looked up at Jack as they walked into the kitchen. "How did she…?" Jack smiled at him. "Sally's power of premonition has gotten a lot stronger over the past few years. Wish I'd listened to her back when I was trying to take over Christmas." He laughed. Lock couldn't help laughing a little too as he sat down and took a bite of the sandwich Sally had made for him. "Wow, this is way better than the stuff Shock cooked…" Lock trailed off, staring moodily at his plate. "'Cooked?'" Jack asked. "Why past tense?" Lock grimaced. "We… uh, Shock, Barrel, and me, we kind of had a fight." "That's not unusual for you three." "They kicked me out of the tree house and I quit Boogie's Boys." Jack set down his own sandwich. "You mean you don't have anywhere to stay?" "Pretty much." Lock told him, taking another bite of his sandwich. Jack paused. "You could stay here if you wanted." Lock choked on the bite that he had been trying to swallow. "Are you serious?" Jack shrugged, as if he hadn't just suggested that one of the trio that he had banished four years ago for nearly destroying the town, and eating his fiancé, with a giant spider stay in his house. "It's not like there isn't enough room. There are more rooms in this house that Sally and I can use." "I… I… sure, if it's okay with Sally, I mean." Lock stammered, trying not to sound as excited as he felt. Though he'd never admit it, he had loved Skellington Manor from the moment he set foot in it. Of course, he'd never been past the living room, but that really isn't the point. "Actually, Sally was the one who suggested it." Jack nodded toward the staircase. "Go ahead and pick one." That was all Lock need before he took off toward the staircase. xXx Aubrey woke up screaming. Her arms wouldn't move, and she couldn't sit up. Her eyes flicked around the room wildly. It was to dark to clearly identify where she was. "Sandy?" She called her voice and throat rough, scratchy, and dry. She didn't receive an answer. "Sandy?" Silence. She attempted to sit up again, her effort failing. Why wouldn't her damn arms move! She could feel them, crossed across her chest... Wait. Across her chest? Oh no. She wasn't. She looked down to see that she was indeed in a straightjacket. Which meant she was in solitary confinement. Well, that answered where she was and why her arms wouldn't move, as well as why Sandy wasn't there. That just left one little thing. Why was she in solitary? The door opened, flooding the room with light and momentarily blinding Aubrey. When her eyes adjusted, she saw the spongy, padded, white walls of a stereotypical asylum room. "Hello Aubrey. I see you're finally awake." It was Leon. "How long have I been in here?" Her voice was still hoarse. "Only a couple of hours; the sun hasn't even gone down yet." She coughed. "Why am I in solitary?" He knelt down in front of her. "After you collapsed in my office, you went into a fit." He saw her eyes widen a bit. "Did I say anything?" "Yes. We did eventually manage to sedate you, but you kept screaming the same thing over and over." Aubrey gulped. "What was it?" "'He's back'." xXx I felt my heat skip a couple of beats. When he mentioned the fit, I feared the worst. But the 'he' Leon had mentioned could only be one person. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Aubrey, do you know who 'he' is?" I nodded. "Who, Aubrey? Who is it?" "Oogie Boogie." xXx "Really, Aubrey, the boogeyman? This is just getting silly." "Hey, you asked." I defended. "Oogie was the one who dragged me to Halloween Town in the first place." "And Jack saved you. Yes, I know. We've been over this already." I rolled my eyes. "Look, it was obviously just a nightmare, so can I go?" Leon looked like he was about to say no, but then sighed. "All right. Tell Sandy to come in to see me after lunch." "Sure." I walked back to my room, where an obviously worried Sandy had been waiting on me. "What happened?" She asked, rushing over. "Leon said they put you in solitary." "They did." I told her. "Oh, poor baby." She hugged me. Her hugs felt like Jack's: all bones. "It was that nightmare..." I muttered. She pulled away with a gasp, her hands still on my shoulders. "But... but you haven't had that dream in almost five years! Not since Jack beat Oogie!" "I know. That's what scares me." xXx Jack frowned as I recounted the dream. "That is strange." Sally put an arm around my shoulders. "Are you sure it was the same dream?" I nodded. "Positive." I saw the worry on Jack's face increase. "But it may have just been the stress. I mean, I did pass out." "I suppose..." He muttered. I stood up. "C'mon, Jack. Oogie isn't coming back anytime soon, or anytime at all. He got squashed, remember?" He smiled. "You're right, of course." "Good, so we can forget all this, you can go back to planning Halloween for the next hundred and eighty days, and I can go outside." He laughed and patted my hair. "Go on, then. Wouldn't want to keep you cooped up in here." I ran into the town square and heard, "No, no, that won't do at all!" I walked toward the lab and opened the door quietly. "Dr. Finklestein?" I called, shutting the door with a click. His wheelchair whirred to the top of the stairs. "Aubrey, my dear. Could you spare a moment?" "Sure. What do you need help with?" I walked upstairs and followed him into his lab and caught sight of a familiar devil. "Lock?" He turned around. "Aubrey?" Dr. Finklestein smiled a bit. "Ah yes, you two used to be good friends. I'd forgotten. Lock is my new assistant." Lock turned a little red as he said this. I stopped myself from laughing, but just barely. "So, what did you need help with?" "Ah yes. I'm in need of some assistance rebuilding my experiment, and have turned up a bit shorthanded." I grinned. "Sure. I'd love to help. What do you need me to do?" xXx "Shouldn't you be hanging out with Jack or something?" I asked Aubrey as we sorted through a pile in the doctor's junkyard to find parts. She grinned. "Oh, I've already reached my 'bug Jack' quota for the day. Besides, he has planning to do. Only one hundred and eighty days 'til Halloween you know. I think the better question is, though, what in the world are you doing here?" I rolled my eyes. "Jack said- jeez this is heavy- that if we helped Doctor F. fix his experiment, he'd end our banishment." I tugged on the offending part again. It didn't move. Aubrey reached over to help. "So where are Sho-oof!" A final tug removed the part, and sent both of us falling backwards on our butts. And, in my case, my tail. I mentally cursed and stood back up, helping Aubrey up next. "Thanks. So where are Shock and Barrel then?" I paused. "They... didn't come." Apparently that pause was enough to alert Aubrey that something was wrong, because she touched my arm lightly. "Lock? What happened?" I sighed. It was impossible to lie to her, she could always tell. "I quit Boogie's Boys and… Shock and Barrel kicked me out of the tree house." "What?" She asked, obviously startled. "Hey, it isn't important. Oogie's not around anymore anyway." I bent back down to search through the pile again. I heard a sniff and looked back up, then stood quickly. "Oh no, don't start crying Aubrey." She turned away. "I'm not crying." "Yes you are. Aubrey, it's not your fault I quit." Her shoulders slumped. "Before I got here, you three were best friends. And as soon as we started liking each other, you guys started fighting all the time." I forcibly turned her to face me. "Aubrey, listen to me. Shock's a jealous bitch and Barrel follows whoever he thinks has the most power. Obviously, thinking is not his strong suit." She giggled a little bit. "Much better. Look, either Shock can get over the fact that I like a girl who's not her, or we'll just stay on non-speaking terms. End of discussion." She smiled at me, but then looked worried again. "But where are you staying?" I grinned. "Actually, I'm staying with Jack and Sally now. Their house is HUGE!" I couldn't help boasting a little. Aubrey laughed. "I know, stupid, I've practically been living there every day since I was almost nine. Jack's got a room all set up for me too, in case I ever decide to stay here permanently." She teased. I smirked. "Yeah, I saw it. Sally do the decorating?" She blushed. "Oh, shut up. I was eight when I told her what I wanted in there!" I leant over and kissed her on the cheek. "Calm down, I was just teasing you. Now, let's get this," I kicked the piece that we had both fallen on our butts getting out of the junk pile, "Up to the lab." "I'm sure Igor would be more than happy to if we gave him a bone biscuit or two." Aubrey said. I grinned at her. "To the Witches' Shop we go!" I grabbed her hand and pulled her out, through the acid works and through the square, over to the shop. Hazel frowned a little as she saw Aubrey and I holding hands. Aubrey blushed, again, but didn't let go. "Zoë, we need a box of Bone Biscuits for Igor. Do you have any?" Zoë smiled. "Of course. You know where to find them." Aubrey let go of my hand and ducked down behind the counter, emerging with the box in her hand. She set a couple of soul coins on the counter before we ran out. We did manage to get Igor to drag the big piece of equipment up to the lab, he's a lot stronger than he looks, while Aubrey and I brought up some littler objects, bolts, engine pieces, stuff like that. The sky was beginning to turn pink as we finished up. Well, technically, we'd finished up two hours ago, but we'd stayed up the rest of the night talking. Not my brightest idea, but I could deal with being tired for a little while. I didn't usually sleep much anyway; that's not very smart when Shock's usually pissed off at me. "Damn, if I could get there myself, I'd kick this Dr. Jacob's ass for you." Aubrey laughed as we entered the clearing where the door stood. "Thanks Lock." She kissed my cheek, slipping her hand out of mine. "Get some sleep, okay?" She called as she passed through the door. I rolled my eyes and turned back toward town, biting back a yawn. Maybe getting some sleep wasn't such a bad idea… Chapter 5 Chapter 5 Sandy was sitting by my bed when I woke up. "You were crying earlier." She stated bluntly. "It was nothing big, don't worry. I was just getting worked up over nothing." I assured her. "Is breakfast here yet? I'm hungry." "You're hungry? Who are you and what did you do with my Aubrey?" She laughed. The laugh quickly turned into a cough, and blood spattered across my white sheets. "Sandy?" She stared at the blood with reverence, an odd smile on her face. "Sandy, what did you do?" "I swallowed glass. Then put an air bubble in my bloodstream. It should reach my heart soo-" She stopped and retched up at lest a cupful of blood, then fell out of the chair, her head hitting the tile with a thunk. I slammed my fist down on the 'call' button, and then scrambled out of bed, my IV yanking out of my hand painfully. Pulling Sandy into my arms, I couldn't have cared less about the blood right now, I saw the empty needle in her arm, and the shattered picture frame shoved under her bed. Her fingers were cut and wet with fresh blood. She couldn't have done this more than a few minutes ago. 'She wanted to see me wake up.' I thought, tears cascading down my face and dripping into the blood that was slowly covering the white-gray tiles. I looked into her glassy emerald eyes and saw the face of a scared little girl in them. My face. Just mine. I let out another sob. "Sandy... I'm sorry..." I looked back into her eyes again and gasped. This time, behind my face, I saw the flicker of eerily shaped lamppost lights, tall, dark buildings, and a guillotine. A smile crept onto my face and I smoothed her dark black hair back, out of her face. "So you did make it..." I barely looked up as two orderlies rushed in, taking Sandy out of my arms and laying her on a steel gurney. They pulled a white sheet over her head and wheeled it out. I sat there, watching, as all of this happened, until Juliet walked in and pulled me up. "Let's get you cleaned up, sweetie. Leon wants to see you as soon as you can manage." I pushed her off of me. "I'm fine to go now." Juliet shook her head. "First, let's wash all this blood off and get you in some clean clothes." I didn't bother with anymore protests, considering they'd just be ignored. xXx It had only been three hours since Sandy had died, and I'd spent one-hundred and thirty-five minutes of them in Leon's office. "So you're saying she somehow got hold of a needle, filled it with air, and pumped it into her bloodstream?" "After she shattered her picture frame and swallowed the broken glass, yes. I've already told you everything I know!" I protested for the fifth time. "Do you have any idea how she got the needle?" "It wouldn't be very hard. Some of the orderlies aren't very careful about things like locking doors and keeping track of their keys." Leon sighed. I hadn't been the greatest of help, for good reason, but he wasn't exactly asking unique questions. Just the same things over and over. "Aubrey, do you have any idea why she would kill herself?" 'She's insane, remember? That's why we're all here. It's an asylum.' I thought, looking down at my lap. "She wasn't happy here." Leon leaned over his desk. "And she is now?" I sighed. "Yes. She got where she wanted to go." "And where would that be?" At this moment, I should have just kept my mouth shut. But my tongue moved faster than my brain, and I answered, "Halloween Town." Leon slammed his fist on the desk. "It isn't real, Aubrey! Halloween Town doesn't exist!" I, surprising both of us, stayed calm. "Yes. It. Does. Whether or not you believe in it is no concern of mine, but it does exist." Then, I simply walked out, leaving him in a stunned silence. A month went by before Lindsey came. Leon simply walked her in, told me she would be staying with me from now on, and walked out. "Hi," She chirped. "My name's Lindsey Nathans. Who are you?" I looked her over. "Aubrey." She giggled. "That's a funny name." 'And Lindsey isn't?' I thought. She was short, almost as short as me, had bright blonde hair, blue eyes, and really bright, white teeth. I started to wonder why she was here, but then saw the big, ugly rope marks on her neck. "... like him. He's cute." I looked up, thinking she was talking to me, but then saw she was happily conversing with the plastic plant in the corner. WTF. In a week, I learned more about Lindsey than I'd ever care to have known. She was eighteen, had three siblings; all girls, two older, one younger, gone through three, yes, THREE boyfriends in the last year, was abducted by aliens, and tried to hang herself because the implant in her head told her to. And they thought I was crazy? Ha, ha, and again, HA! Life only got weirder from then on. I never managed to find Sandy in Halloween Town, but the good news was that with Lock and me helping, Dr. Finklestein's experiment was working again, and now we were just fine tuning. And that meant playing with really freaking big explosions. "I love dynamite!" I laughed, twirling around like an idiot. Lock, who was walking behind me, just laughed. "So I've noticed. You're getting me in trouble, by the way." I stopped twirling to look at him. "I told Doctor F. that I was the one who was tossing the extra explosives in." I leaned up against a tree to look up at the sky. The horizon was starting to get lighter, signifying the sun was going to rise soon. "Maybe I should just... stay today. Just not go back and stay here." Lock looked down at me, surprised. "Can you do that?" I sighed. "Probably not, and that sucks." He leaned back next to me and I put my head on his shoulder. He stiffened up for a moment, then relaxed. I couldn't help letting out a giggle. Lock still wasn't used to a lot of non-painful physical contact. Though living with Shock and Barrel, this was only to be expected. "Have you talked to them yet?" I asked. "No, and I don't plan to." I looked up at him. "Lock, they're your friends. You need to get things worked-" "There you are Lock!" Both of us looked up to see Barrel standing on top of a hill. "Shock, I found him!" The witch walked up next to him, obviously not happy to see me there. "I should go." I kissed Lock's cheek, then whispered, "At least try to talk to them Lock," In his ear before going off toward the tree that led back to my body. xXx I turned to Shock and Barrel. "What do you two want?" Barrel scuffed a foot awkwardly. "We want you to come back to the tree house." "Tempting, but no." I shot, turning away. "Aw, c'mon Lock! It's no fun being the only guy! Shock even said she'll give Aubrey a chance!" That stopped me. "Did you actually say that?" Shock nodded. "She can't be any worse than Barrel." "Hey!" I stopped to consider this for a moment. "All right, I'll come back. But either of you try to something stupid to her, I'm outta there." "Okay, we've got it. We won't do anything to your girlfriend." Barrel snickered, walking off behind Shock. "She's not my- oh forget it." I muttered, running to catch up with them. xXx Username: JacobsL Password: a2bd2e2iln2rsuy2 ACCESS GRANTED Patient File #973122X PROCESSING... Patient: Nathans, Lindsey (97312X) Date of Birth: November 12, 1989 Date of Admittance: June 20, 2006 Condition: Suffers from severe schizophrenia Notes: No progress xXx "How do you like Lindsey?" "She's only been here for three months, how am I supposed to like her?" Leon frowned. "Aubrey..." "Yes?" She asked innocently. "You're purposely trying to frustrate me, aren't you?" "Finally figured that out, have you?" Aubrey smirked in contempt, her gaze drifting to the clock above his head. "Well, I believe our hour is up, Doctor Jacobs, so I'll be going." She walked out of the room, the evil smirk still on her face. Lindsey was sitting outside the door, chatting happily to... a plastic tree. She gave Aubrey an odd look, then went back to her conversation. "Yeah, she is crazy. We all know skeletons and vampires and stuff like that doesn't exist." A pause. "Of course six foot tall, blue and pink fuzzy aliens exist. How do you explain the implant? And anyway..." Aubrey turned a corner and Lindsey's voice faded. Aubrey chuckled to herself. 'Even the crazy people think I'm insane.' xXx "Hey, Sally!" The rag doll turned around to see Lock. She smiled. "Hello Lock. I haven't seen you around much since you moved back to the Tree House." Lock smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry. But I need to ask you something." "Ask away." "What do girls like to get for their birthday?" Sally smiled. "Well, it matters who the girl is." Behind his mask, Lock blushed. "Just... a girl." Sally paused. "A necklace." "'Kay thanks!" He started to run off. "Oh, and Lock?" He turned around. Sally was smiling again. "I'm sure Aubrey would like anything you got her." Then she turned and walked back toward Skellington Manor. xXx 'How'd Sally know I was talking about Aubrey?' I asked myself. I played the conversation over again in my head, then smacked my forehead. Well, my mask's forehead. I said birthday. No one in Halloween Town celebrates their birthday. Half the residents of Halloween Town can't even remember their birthday. We celebrate deathdays. 'Or it could be the fact that you practically obsess over the girl.' I thought to myself. I looked down at the bag in my hand. I just hoped she actually liked it. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, being careful not to mess up my bangs. 'Men should NOT be allowed to shop for their… girlfriends.' There, I said it. My hand was on the tree house doorknob when I heard Shock yell, "How much longer do we have to do this! We've had to fake liking this girl for more than four months!" My temper rose. They'd what? I was about to storm in, but I heard an all too familiar laugh and my hand froze just on the doorknob. "Patience, Shock. We just need to wait until tomorrow night. Then she'll be no trouble to anyone." With a gulp, I walked over and peered through a window to see a familiar burlap body. "What about Lock?" I heard Barrel ask softly. "If he resists, then-" I didn't stick around to hear the rest, making a bolt for the elevator. I had to tell Jack that Oogie was back! The cage door was in my grasp when someone grabbed me by the tail. I let out a howl of pain and relinquished my grip on the steel bars. I looked up to see the one and only Oogie Boogie with one of his hand... things wrapped around my tail. Shock and Barrel stood behind him. Oogie turned to Shock. "You know what to do." Shock nodded and raised a hand toward my face. "Night-night Lock." She said, almost happily. I gulped. I was screwed. xXx Oogie dropped Lock after he'd gone limp in his grasp. "Good job. Just put him up in your playroom." He ordered, walking off toward the entrance to his game room. Shock kicked Lock in the side. "Get up stupid." Lock got to his feet, about as steady as Sally after reattaching a leg. "Is he okay?" Barrel asked, poking Lock. "He's fine. It's just a puppet spell. C'mon Lock. She walked back toward the playroom, Lock following obediently. Barrel followed hesitantly. He didn't like this, not one bit. He looked down when he kicked something. A black bag was lying on the ground. 'Where'd this come from?' Reaching inside, Barrel pulled out a small, velvet covered black box. He lifted it to eye level to see there was a tag hanging out the back. He flipped it over and read it. 'Aubrey, Happy Birthday! Love, Lock' Barrel grimaced at the card and opened the box. His eyes widened. "Holy shit…" "Barrel! Get up here!" Shock poked her head out of the Playroom window and looked down at him. He quickly shoved the box in his pocket. "Keep your skirt on, I'm coming!" He ran up the stairs, barely dodging the chair thrown down at him. xXx I was incredibly happy when I woke up. Other than the fact that Lock was nowhere to be found, my night had been great! It was Halloween, not to mention my birthday, and it was a so far perfect day. Then, I looked out the window and saw a familiar red Mercedes. I frowned, confused. Why was she here so early? I got dressed and went down to the visitor's area, careful not to wake Lindsey up. "Emily?" She looked up at me. "It's like nine in the morning." "I had to come early. Mom's throwing a party tonight." "Oh." I looked at the three boxes in her lap. "Those for me?" She handed them over. "Open them." The first one was from mom, and had a cutesy pink dress in it. That was going in the back of the closet. The second one, from Ryan, had jeans, a T-shirt, and a bunch of little accessories; a brush, comb, makeup, bracelets, earrings, etc. The third was a Halloween costume. Emily smiled at me when I looked up at her, now even more confused than I had been earlier. "To clear things up, I do believe you, you know." I felt my eyes fill with tears, for some stupid reason, as I hugged her. "Thanks Emily." xXx That afternoon, Lindsey had a session with Leon, so I had the room to myself. I had gotten dressed in my costume, and was looking at myself in the mirror. The costume was a sleeveless, gray-white dress that reached from my collarbone down to my knees, with a black-threaded corset like top and the ends where cut in ragged, uneven spikes. The gloves that came with it were so long that they were even with the top of the dress. The ends were cut up like the hem of the dress and covered my hands. Emily had added in a pair of white almost ballet-like slippers. I grinned at my reflection. "I look like a ghost." A cold wind blew through the room and I shivered. Wind? I whipped around to see that the window was open. The window was never open. It was impossible to open. It was tripled locked from the outside and bolted shut with steel bars protecting the glass on the inside. I walked over and, carefully, shoved my fingers underneath the frame and shoved it up, expecting a thousand alarms to go off any second. It was dead silent. I slipped out, glancing around carefully. The yard was empty. I slid off the roof and hung onto the edge. It was a six-foot drop. Nothing too serious, maybe a twisted ankle at the worst, would come from letting go. So I let go. I landed pretty easily, stumbling and falling back a little, but uninjured. I turned to face the gate. Not even lady luck would help me this much. I walked over to it, looming, black, and ominous looking. The one thing that separated me from getting out of here. Now, a number of things could happen at this point. One: I could get spotted and dragged back to The Towers and stuck in solitary forever. Two: I touch the gate, get electrocuted, and get brain damage and/or die. Three: I climb back inside and pretend this never happened. Or four: I pull open the gate, don't get electrocuted, don't get seen, and run for it. Option one was obviously out. If someone was going to catch me, an alarm would've sounded already. Three was also ruled out. No way was I going back there willingly. That left two and four. Well, it was a fifty-fifty chance. I liked those odds. I grabbed the gate... and felt cold metal. No shock, no voltage coursing through me and frying me, nada, sip, zilch, nothing. There was also an option five wherein the gate was locked, but it was quickly ruled out as the gate inched open. I squeezed through as soon as I could comfortably fit. My legs, now completely dependant of my brain, started running. I was free. Chapter 6 Chapter 6 My legs were tired and sore, but I couldn't stop running. I needed to be somewhere. I just didn't know where that happened to be. I did know, however, it was far away from The Towers. And anywhere that was far away from that place was fine with me. I looked up through the tree branches to see the moon peeking through, even though it was still the middle of the afternoon; full, round, and an eerie shade of orange. 'Like a pumpkin.' I thought absently. I gradually slowed down to a walk as the grass in front of me became dry and dead, and eventually faded into dirt. Glancing around, I saw a clearing completely devoid of any life. Even birds were avoiding flying over it. In the center stood a dead tree displaying a bright orange pumpkin with a horrible face carved on it. It was the door to Halloween Town. My door. I walked forward until I stood directly in front of the pumpkin's twisted grin. I'd never physically stepped through the door. Would it even open for me now, because I was alive? 'Do it.' A little voice urged. 'You know you want to.' My fingers curled around the pumpkin's nose. 'Open it!' The voice ordered. I turned the doorknob, closed my eyes, and pushed. xXx I opened my eyes to see the Hinterland's landscape surrounding me. "It worked." I gasped, astounded. "It really worked! I've got to go find Jack and-" "What's your rush?" I looked to my left to see Lock emerge from the trees. I ran over, ecstatic. "Lock, I found it! I found the tree that connects Halloween Town to my world! And I escaped from The Towers!" I paused. "It was really weird, almost like someone was-" "Opening all the doors for you?" I looked over Lock's shoulder to see Shock and Barrel. Shock had a smile of pure, almost malicious, grin on her face. Barrel just looked like he'd rather be someone else. "Wh-what?" I asked. What was going on? "What do you mean Shock?" "Grab her." She ordered. I felt Lock's claws dig into my wrists. "Ow! Lock, that hurts." I looked up at his face. Instead of their normal yellow, his eyes were pure black. "Lock?" I asked in a fearful whisper. Something was very, VERY wrong. I heard Shock laugh. "He can't hear you. Well, he can, but he won't listen. Come on. The boss is waiting on us." My eyes widened as Lock picked me up and followed Shock. "Lock, don't do this, please!" I begged. For a moment, a wisp of gold entered his eyes, but it disappeared just as fast. "If you don't shut up, I'll happily knock you out." The witch called. I stayed quiet while hot, angry, betrayed tears poured down my face. After the elevator ride, Shock grabbed me from Lock. "Wait out here you two." She ordered, dragging me inside. The room was completely sealed up, save a few holes in the ceiling that let in some of the sunlight. She shoved me forward, and my knee slammed a table. I cursed violently but quietly, rubbing the throbbing spot. Something in the shadows moved, and I froze. "Long time no see, Aubrey." I looked up in horror, my sore knee no longer important. "Oogie Boogie." I whispered, the same intangible fear I'd felt the first time I'd ever seen him rising up in chest. He put his mit/hand things over where his heart would be, if he had one. "I'm touched. You remember me." "You… you're supposed to be dead. Jack destroyed you!" He chuckled. "Now Aubrey, you should know better. You can't get rid of the bogeyman." I tried to straighten up and stand tall, but my knee wouldn't allow it. I fell back into a beaten up chair that was, quite literally, on its last leg. "What- what do you want?" "The door to the human world." He leered at me. "Then just go through it!" I yelled angrily. His grin faded. "Oh, I've tried that. But you see, I seem to be... missing a few parts." He walked into the stream of sunlight pouring through the badly patched roof. I muffled my shriek, but just barely. In the shadows, Oogie looked normal- well, as normal as a burlap sack filled with bugs could- but in the light, splotches of his body were transparent like a ghost's. "You... you're… you're a..." "A ghost of my former self?" He asked, walking closer, out of the sun. The patches darkened, making him look solid again. I clutched the armrests of the chair. "What does this have to do with me?" Oogie leaned in so his face was inches from mine. "Haven't you ever wondered why you could cross over to Halloween Town?" In the back of my mind, I realized I had, but I didn't respond out loud. Oogie glared at me, his empty eyes boring into mine. "You were supposed to die that day. But that stupid fool intervened!" My fear was replaced by confusion. Well, mostly. "What? What are you talking about?" He patted my head. I shied away from his touch. "Ah-ah-ah. Curiosity killed the cat you know, and I don't want you to die. Yet." He nodded to Shock. She pulled me out of the room and practically threw me at Lock. "Chain her up in the Playroom. You watch her Barrel." "Why do I have to?" He whined. She gave him a look and he followed behind Lock, grumbling under his breath. xXx Lock tightened the chains around the Aubrey's wrists until she let out a cry of pain. An unexpected pang of something- what was it? Guilt? -cut through him. He shook his head and left the room, leaving Barrel to do his job. "What's wrong with him, Barrel?" Aubrey asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "What's going on?" He could hear the tears in her voice, though he couldn't see them on her face because her head was down. Barrel shifted uncomfortably. He peeked out the door, then shut it and knelt down in front of Aubrey. "If Shock or Oogie finds out I told you this, I'll be next on the list, but I don't care anymore. This is going too far." He shoved up his grinning skull mask, showing the genuine worry on it. "What do you want to know?" Aubrey looked up at him pleadingly, tears sliding down her face. "What is Oogie planning to do with me?" "He's going to kill you, Aubrey. Your soul is the thing that holds the key to the door. You saw the condition Oogie is in. I-I think he's been feeding off the animals around here. I've been finding a lot of dead animals around the entrance to his casino." Aubrey tried to comprehend what Barrel was telling her. "So... if he absorbs my soul, then he'd be..." "He'll probably be completely rejuvenated and have the ability to go between worlds whenever he wants." Barrel finished. Aubrey shook her head. "But I can only come at night." "That's only because you never physically found the door before now. You could only go through at night because you were asleep and your body didn't need your spirit." "I see." She murmured. "But... what about Lock? What's wrong with him?" "Shock has him under a puppet spell. She's got complete control over him." A tear leaked down Aubrey's face. "Don't worry. There's a way to break it." "Then why don't you do it if you know how?" She demanded. "Are you nuts? If Shock even thought I was saying the reversal, she'd slugify me!" "Then what was the point of even telling me that?" Barrel put a hand over her mouth. "Sshhh!" He ran over to the door and opened it slightly, listening for footsteps. When he heard none, he went back over to Aubrey. "Listen, I've got an idea. Oogie always, and I mean always, asks his prisoners if they have any last words. The reversal words are 'All hail Jack Skellington the Pumpkin King.'" Aubrey nodded. "Something that would never get said around here." "Exactly. Oh, and I think this is for you." He pulled a small box from his pocket and placed it in her restrained hands. "Barrel! Get down here!" Shock yelled. "I've got to go." He ran out of the room, shutting the door behind him. With quite a bit of difficulty, Aubrey pried open the box. A bright crimson, oval-shaped stone set into a silver pendant of the same shape fell to the floor. "Oh Lock..." After another five minutes of fumbling, and dropping it three times, Aubrey managed to lock the clasp around her neck. She held the stone tenderly, letting the sun reflect off it. In the sun it seemed to be burning, flames dancing through the stone in the light. Aubrey smiled. Trust Lock to try and make fire romantic... and succeed. She looked down at the slip of paper that had fallen to the floor and picked it up, reading it. Tears filled her eyes again and she crumpled it up in her fist, dropping it to the floor. She looked out at the pumpkin sun, leaning up against the wall despairingly. It was going to be a long day. xXx I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up to Barrel nudging me softly. "Wake up, Aubrey, before Shock comes in here to wake you up her way." I opened my eyes. The Playroom was dark, the only illumination coming from the torch in Barrel's hand. I tried to push myself up, but my muscles protested painfully, pins and needles paralyzing my calves. "My legs are completely numb. I can't move them." Shock walked in as I finished my sentence. "Ugh, pathetic. Lock!" He walked in behind her. "Help her downstairs." He pulled me up and carried me out, bridal style. 'I could do it now.' I thought. 'I could say the reversal now and get out of here.' I looked over Lock's shoulder at Barrel. Should I do it now? I mouthed. Even behind his mask, I could see his eyes widen. He sent a quick glance at Shock and shook his head. I understood completely. She was too close to be safe. Looks like I was going to have to wait. I hate waiting. Chapter 7 Chapter 7 'I can't believe he's making us take her down there personally.' Shock thought. Why they couldn't just dump Aubrey down the tube and get it over and done with was beyond her. "I want her in perfect condition," Oogie told her. That meant no shoving her through the makeshift pipe that they hadn't used since the Christmas incident. Well, except for that on time she and Lock shoved Barrel down as a prank. She looked back at Lock, who was still carrying Aubrey. Shock may have hated keeping that brat in one piece, but she still harbored a fear of Oogie Boogie from when she was younger and almost nothing would get her to go against his orders. Younger... she had used the term loosely since her death. When had the three of them actually started growing up? They'd stayed the same age they'd died at for... however many years it had been. It was just like that; she and Lock were always seven, and Barrel was always six-and-a-half. It was only after Aubrey had come that things had started changing. The first obvious sign was when they couldn't all fit in the elevator at the same time. Then their costumes, which they'd had for forever, didn't fit right and they'd had to get Sally to make them new ones. Lock's voice had started changing, boy was that funny, and then she'd started... liking him. Liking him less in a sisterly way and more as... as just a girl. Her thoughts pulled themselves together as they reached the door of Oogie's casino. She knocked twice and it slid open. It had been three years since any one of the trick-or-treaters had set foot in Oogie Boogie's game room, but it was the same as they remembered. Creepy, and even creepier in black light. Oogie walked out of the shadows, took Aubrey from Lock, and unchained her hands before shoving her onto the roulette wheel. She landed painfully on her arm, then stood and glared at him. His grin just widened. "Any last words?" Aubrey smirked. "Glad you asked: All hail Jack Skellington the Pumpkin King!" Shock turned to Barrel angrily. "Traitor!" She socked him in the face, jumping on him and knocking him to the floor. Lock shook his head a few times. "Wha...?" "Too little, too late!" Oogie cackled, wrapping his hand around the lever that would activate the power. He never did pull said lever, for as he began to pull back, he found himself being rammed in the side by everyone's favorite devil. Lock jumped down onto the roulette wheel. "Are you okay?" Aubrey nodded. "I'll be fine." "Good." He pulled her over to the drainpipe that led out of the casino and boosted her up. Once she was in, Aubrey turned around. "Give me your hand. I'll pull you out too." She leant over as far as she could, trying to reach Lock's outstretched hand. Their fingers barely brushed each other. "Almost... there..." Lock grunted, the muscles in his arm strained to their limits. "I don't think so!" Oogie roared, finally pulling himself over to the controls and yanked the lever down toward him. "Nobody betrays the bogeyman!" The wheel started turning, throwing Lock off balance. "Lock!" Aubrey yelled. "I'll be fine, just go get Jack!" He ordered. She bit her lip and nodded, climbing up the pipe. xXx I burst out of the elevator before it even reached the ground. Falling straight down five or six feet is a lot faster than I realized. Pain laced through my left arm; I'd landed on it again. I ignored it and got up, running off toward Guillotine Gate. I ran through the gate as the mayor started handing out awards. I found Jack easily; he was standing offstage. I ran over to him, shoving through the crowd. "Aubrey? What's wrong?" Jack asked as he caught sight of me. I must've looked worse than I thought. "Jack, there's no time, we've got to go-" "Aubrey, I can't just leave. It's Halloween! I'm sure whatever it is can wait." "No it can't!" I told him, pulling his hand again. "Oogie's back and he's got Lock trapped on in the game room!" Seconds later, I was on Jack's back and he was running top speed toward the tree house. xXx Lock wasn't faring well. One of the buzz-saws that occupied the roulette wheel had just made another pass over him and nearly clipped off his tail. 'Aubrey, hurry up.' He thought, dodging a round of bullets from the cowboy robots. Shock watched in horror as a bullet clipped Lock's shoulder. Enough was enough. Hurting Lock definitely qualified as one of the 'almost nothing's that could get her to betray Oogie Boogie. "Leave Lock alone!" She jumped onto Oogie's back, pulling him away from the controls. Barrel, who was over in a corner recovering from Shock's wrath, ran over to help. "Yeah, you tell him Shock!" He yelled before biting Oogie on the leg. "Aargh! You little brats!" He pulled both of them off with ease. "If you two are so eager to join Lock in his doom, you should've just said so." A sly grin returned to his face. "On second thought, I'm famished." Both of their masks had fallen off, so Oogie could see the terror on both their faces. "Ladies first." He threw Barrel into the wall head-first, resulting in immediate unconsciousness. Oogie started to inhale and Shock screamed. Faintly, she could see a weird white vapor coming off her body and going into the bug-man's mouth. Her screams grew softer and softer as more and more of the mist was swallowed and her energy faded. "Put her down!" Oogie turned around to see Jack and Aubrey standing there. "Ooh, it's big, scary Jack. Back off, bag of bones." Oogie growled. Jack took a step forward. "I said put Shock down, Oogie." He shrugged. "You can have her when I'm through with her." He turned back around. Aubrey growled and pulled a torch out of the wall. "Maybe Jack wasn't clear enough. Put Shock down NOW!" She slammed the unfortunately unlit torch over Oogie's head. He let out a howl of pain and dropped Shock, falling unconscious himself. Aubrey helped the witch sit up. "Shock? You okay?" "Why... why are you helping me?" She muttered, her head dizzy. Aubrey shrugged. "No one deserves what Oogie was planning. Besides," She smiled. "Girls need to stick together with idiots like Barrel and Lock around." She gasped. "Oh my god, Lock!" Jack ran over to the control box and pulled the 'off' switch. How did he know it was the off lever? Simple: it was labeled 'off'. Oogie wasn't the brightest bulb in the bunch. Aubrey jumped down, back onto the wheel. Lock was lying on the floor, holding his bleeding shoulder. "Are you okay?" She asked, helping him stand. "Yeah." He winced and clutched his shoulder. "No." "Move your hand." She ordered. He did so, and she sighed in relief. "Good, it's really shallow." She hugged him, making sure to avoid his shoulder. "You're an idiot, I hope you know." He tugged her hair with his uninjured arm. "So I've been told." He looked down. "Are you crying?" "Yes. I was really worried about you Lock!" "I'm fine Aubrey. My shoulder hurts like hell, but I'm not going to die again." She sniffed. "Yeah, I know. I have stupid human emotions to deal with, remember?" Lock had no answer to that statement that didn't make him sound like an idiot or a sap, so he stayed quiet and hugged her back. Jack climbed down to the wheel. "You four need to get out of here. I'll deal with Oogie." He boosted both of them off the wheel, then started pulling himself up. It's good to be tall sometimes. Before he could get all the way up, the wheel started spinning at top speed, and one of the cowboy's guns caught Jack's leg and pulled him back down. "Jack!" Aubrey cried, turning around. Lock grabbed her arm to stop her from jumping back down. "Aubrey, jumping down there won't help anyone. Shock, can you get the controls?" No response. "Shock? Barrel?" He turned around to see Shock lying next to Barrel, unmoving. Oogie, however, had disappeared. Aubrey clutched his arm suddenly. "Lock?" She whispered, her voice quavering. He whipped back around to see Oogie Boogie standing behind him, grinning insanely. Oogie slapped Aubrey away and grabbed Lock by the throat. "No one betrays the boogeyman!" He growled, one of his hands slipping over Lock's mouth. Lock bit down on Oogie's hand, sinking his fangs deeper and deeper until he could feel the bugs inside the bogeyman's hand crunch between his them. Oogie let out a howl of pain and rage before dropping Lock to nurse his wound. The devil glared at him and Oogie's other arm started to smoke, then burst into flame. Oogie ran around the room like some sort of odd, ugly, featherless bird until Jack, who'd finally climbed off of the roulette wheel, slammed his fist into Oogie's face. "That won't keep him down for long." Jack warned them. Lock grabbed Aubrey by the shoulders. "Aubrey, listen. Get back through the door to your world and destroy it." "How?" She asked. "There's no way I can do it myself." He stood up. "Look at the back of the necklace. I'll help Jack wake up Shock and Barrel and stall Oogie." "Right." She nodded and stood up as well. "Um, Lock?" "Yeah?" He turned to face her and Aubrey pressed her lips against his. "I love you. Good luck." She turned and ran up the stairs, leaving a surprised Lock standing there. Until Jack's voice calling for him to help wake up Shock and Barrel reminded him that he had a job to do. He ran over to Barrel. "Barrel, wake up you idiot!" No response. Lock paused to think. "Barrel, Shock just stole one of your spider-berry suckers." Barrel sat up so fast that Lock barely had time to move back. "Gimme my sucker!" He blinked and looked around. "Er... where are we?" His eyes fell onto Oogie's stirring form. "Never mind, I remember." Jack was pulling Shock up when Oogie stood suddenly. His eyes narrowed into slits as he gazed at the four in front of him. "You think you can stop me?" "I've done it once by myself, Oogie." Jack reminded him, though it sounded more threat-like than reminder-like. Oogie let out another growl and slammed into Jack faster than the three trick-or-treaters had ever seen him move. Jack flew up against the wall with a loud 'crack', and fell to the ground. All three stared in shock. Before they realized what had happened, he had Barrel by the scruff of his neck. "Hey! Put me down!" Shock lifted a hand up. "You heard him." Lock copied the motion. "Put him down." Oogie laughed. "Ooh, I'm shaking." Shock glared. "Not a bad idea." Her lips moved silently and the ground under Oogie started to crack apart. "What!" Oogie yelled, starting to lose his balance. His grip on Barrel loosened enough to let him slip away and run over to hide behind Lock and Shock. "When did you learn to do that?" He asked. "What do you think I do in my room all day, think up new ways to torture you two?" She asked. "Yeah." Both boys answered at once. She shook her head. "Boys are so stupid." She looked back up. "Hey, where'd Oogie go?" At least, that's what they thought she was about to ask. She only managed to get out the "Hey, where'd-" Before she was thrown into the wall and landed on top of Jack. Lock and Barrel looked up at Oogie, who was standing in Shock's previous spot. "Surprise." He chuckled, grabbing them and slamming their heads together. He dropped the limp boys next to Shock and Jack. "Now, to finish what I started." He slammed a large, red button topped decorated with a skull and crossbones. "Self-destruct countdown started. Ten minutes and counting. Nine minutes fifty-nine seconds. Nine minutes fifty-eight seconds. Nine minutes..." Oogie chuckled. "If you'll excuse me, I've got bigger fish to fry." He walked over to the stairs and disappeared up them." Chapter 8 Chapter 8 Aubrey ran through the tree house, back up to the Playroom. 'A weapon. I need a weapon.' She thought as she shoved the stubborn door open. The fight down below echoed through the pipe on the left side of the room. Aubrey could barely hear Shock's 'tsk'. "Boys are so stupid." A pause. "Hey, where'd-" "Surprise." Oogie laughed. Aubrey heard Lock and Barrel let out a cry of surprise, then silence. "Now, to finish what I started." "Self-destruct countdown started. Ten minutes and counting. Nine minutes fifty-nine seconds. Nine minutes fifty-eight seconds. Nine minutes..." Oogie chuckled again. "If you'll excuse me, I have bigger fish to fry." Silence greeted Aubrey's ears. Then, a cackle floated through. "Aubrey..." "Shut up!" She growled, her fingers curling around a spiked mace. She smashed the pipe into the ground. 'Oh, brilliant Aubrey. Now he knows you're still in the Tree House!' She berated herself. 'How do I get out of here?' Aubrey's eyes fell onto the cooked window on the far side of the room. The thick chain that raised and lowered the elevator hung outside it, swinging loosely. 'I must be insane.' She thought, attempting to shove the window open. Then she noticed the nails hammered into the frame. Swinging the mace hard, She shattered the window, reaching out and grabbing the elevator chain swinging outside it with her free hand. She glanced at the mace, then the chain, then back at the mace before tossing it behind her and gripping the chain with both hands. "This is such a bad idea." She muttered to the air before warily climbing out and sliding down. xXx 'Lucky the elevator was down.' Aubrey thought, running through the forest. Behind her, she faintly heard the sound of the elevator being raised. Her fear sped her up, the entire left side of her body screaming in protest. She ignored it and kept her fast pace, reaching the tree in record time. The doorknob turned easily and she jumped through, landing, quite painfully, on her knees. She scrambled around and pulled the amulet out from under her dress, then flipped it over. There, carved in small, flowing script, were two words. 'Dragon's Breath.' Aubrey unclasped the necklace looked from the bright stone to the door. Carefully, she pointed the gem at the tree. "Dragon's breath." A jet of flame shot out of the pendant, covering the tree in flickering orange and white fire. After a minute, Aubrey realized that the tree wasn't burning. The fire had consumed the branches and everything three feet above the door, but the fire just crackled around the trunk, sitting there as though the tree were fireproof. Her mind racing, Aubrey tried to think of a reason for this phenomenon. Then, she smacked her forehead. "The trees are connected. To get rid of the door, both have to burn." She groaned, staring at the pumpkin's grin. It seemed to be taunting her. "I have to go back through." Aubrey reached through the flames, crying out as the flames seared her hand, and gripped the doorknob. Tears rolled down her face and she bit her lip as the metal of the knob made her skin sizzle painfully but turned it nonetheless and shoved the door back open. Flames licked at her as she jumped through, landing in a pile on the other side. The cool air was a relief on her skin, but she couldn't sit and enjoy it for long; she had to finish it. She shoved herself up and made sure that the pendant was still firmly in her hand before raising her arm, wincing painfully as the burned skin stretched, to aim the pendant once again. "Dragon's brea-" Something clapped over her mouth before she could finish the 'breath', rough fabric scrapping her lips. She was forced to stand up, then was lifted off the ground "I can't let you do that Aubrey." Oogie chuckled, wrapping his other hand around the necklace in her hand and pulling it out of her hand and throwing it to the side before moving it to her neck and gripping it. Aubrey followed it with her eyes, the ever full moon illuminating its path as it bounced away. She thrashed angrily, doing all she could to make him drop her. She pulled and kicked at Oogie fruitlessly, until something that felt like a strand of hair brushed her arm. A loose thread! Aubrey wrapped it around her finger as Oogie pinned her against the door. "Don't hold your breath." He chuckled as he tightened his grip on her throat. She couldn't breathe, only make little choking noises. It was now or never. Aubrey tugged on the thread, and the seams in Oogie's right side came undone. He dropped her in an unceremonious pile to stop the bugs from escaping. She had to move fast. Hard to do when you're injured. She dove for the necklace and her fingers closed around the chain. Pulling it into her hand, she flipped it over and aimed at the grinning pumpkin. "Dragon's breath!" The jet of fire hit the jack o' lantern's crooked teeth dead on, and the flames climbed up the dry, dead wood like it was covered in gasoline. "You lose, Oogie!" She yelled triumphantly. The bogeyman let out a roar of pure fury before running over and grabbing Aubrey by the neck with his right hand, the left occupied with covering the hole in his side. "You'll pay for that!" He slammed her against the burning tree. "I'll still kill you!" Aubrey screamed in pain as the fire ate through the fabric of her costume and skin. Her hair caught fire and her scalp started to burn. The necklace dropped to the ground as the flames burned through the muscles in her wrist. "Hey, Oogie!" He turned to see Lock, Shock, Barrel, and Jack standing behind him. Lock had a torch in his hand. "Open wide!" With the expertise that could only come from tossing javelins, axes, maces, daggers, plungers, and other weapons at his fellow trick-or-treaters, Lock tossed the torch down Oogie's big, never fully closed mouth. Time for an actual lesson: bugs are NOT fireproof. If you've ever taken a magnifying glass to an ant, then you already know this fact of nature. And from his earlier incident with Lock, we know Oogie's 'skin' isn't either. And because no part of Oogie Boogie is fireproof, it only took seconds for him to burst into flame, burning from the inside out. Jack, having the longest reach and nothing to burn on his person but his sleeves, reached into the fire and grabbed Aubrey. It was bad. Most of the back of her costume had burned off, as well as her skin. Her hair had been singed to almost an inch from her scalp, most of it burned black. The burns spread over not only her back, but her arms, legs, chest, and almost three-fourths of her head. Her breathing was ragged and bruises were visible through the burns on her throat. "Let me see her bonehead." Shock ordered. Jack set Aubrey down in front of the witch. "Shock, what're you going to do?" Lock asked. He obviously didn't trust her still. "Relax. I'm not going to hurt her." She assured him. Shock muttered something under her breath and snapped her fingers over Aubrey's back. The various shades of red burns covering her body receded, leaving smooth skin. "Can't do anything about her hair or costume." She said, looking over the unconscious figure before her. Shock swayed slightly. "Ooh... dizzy..." She started to fall back. "Shock!" Barrel ran over and caught her before she hit the ground. "Get off me!" Shock shoved him away. "I can stand on my own. I'm just tired. That's all." "That's enough." Jack ordered, picking Aubrey back up. "This is no time for fight-" The last syllable was cut off as a loud explosion shook the Hinterlands, and they turned in the direction of the tree house. A large amount of smoke was drifting into the sky. Lock groaned. "There goes the tree house." Barrel glanced from Lock to Shock. "Where are we supposed to go?" Shock turned to him, ready to scold and/or yell at him, but stopped as she realized he was right. Their home had just been blown into smithereens. Jack smiled at all three of them. "Lock, you still have a room at Skellington Manor, and there are plenty of rooms for the two of you to choose from if you want." "Whatever." Shock grumbled. "Can we just go? I feel like I'm about to pass out." xXx When I opened my eyes, I was surprisingly warm and comfortable. "About time you woke up." I looked around to see Shock standing in the doorway. "Where are we?" I murmured. I felt like I should have known, but my head was fuzzy and I couldn't remember. "Your room in Jack's house. You've been asleep for two days." She told me, sitting down in the chair next to my bed. "Oogie?" I questioned. The fuzz was starting to clear now. "Went up in smoke with the door." Everything that had happened last night, or two nights ago if I'd been asleep as long as Shock said, rushed back to me. I sat up quickly, expecting to be in horrible pain. "I healed all the burns, if that's what you're about to search for. I couldn't fix your hair or costume, though, but Sally took care of it." "Why?" Shock shrugged. "Because even after everything I'd done to you, including helping Oogie Boogie try to kill you, you'd actually been concerned about me. You saved my afterlife." She smirked. "I guess I finally realized you really hadn't done anything to me." "So... does that mean we're friends now?" She laughed. "I wouldn't go that far. Buddies, maybe. Not friends." There was an unspoken 'yet' behind her words as she shook my hand. "So where are the boys?" I asked, standing warily. My caution was pointless, though, for my balance was fine. "I dunno, probably downstairs trying to kill each other. We'd better stop them before Jack and Sally have to again." "Again? What did I miss?" We walked toward the door. "Nothing much. They just like to egg each other on." There was a crash. "Ah crap, here we go again." She ran downstairs ahead of me, leaving me to catch up. xXx "Geez, I leave for a little while and they turn into animals. How old are you two again?" Lock and Barrel looked up from their wrestling to see Shock at the end of the stairs. Aubrey walked up behind her and laughed. "Well that's certainly an interesting position." Lock was sitting on Barrel's back and bending the younger boy's leg toward him, probably trying to break it, while Barrel had Lock's tail in his hands and was about to bite it. "Aubrey!" Lock tugged his tail out of Barrel's hands and ran over to hug said girl. "Hi Lock. Um, I kind of need my ribs unbroken." "Oh. Sorry." He let go of her. Barrel snickered behind him. Lock blushed. "Come on, let's go talk outside." He half-pulled Aubrey out the door. As soon as it shut, Barrel burst out laughing. He stopped as a rock hit him in the side of the head. "Ow!" "Shut up." Shock ordered, walking back upstairs while tucking her slingshot back in her pocket. Barrel scrambled up and went after her. There were several concessive thuds as Barrel rolled back down the stairs, with Shock trying to strangle him. xXx Aubrey smiled as she held onto Lock's hand. "I've never seen Halloween Town in the daytime." Lock smirked. Aubrey was acting like a kid in a candy shop. He should know. He acted like that every Halloween. Well, except this last one, but that didn't count. He was hypnotized for most of it! "And?" "It's a hell of a lot less scary." She confirmed after a moment. Lock laughed. "Better not let anyone hear you say that. You'll hurt their feelings." She shrugged. "Whose feelings? Yours?" She asked teasingly as they passed under Guillotine Gate. "Maybe." He muttered. "Aha! So you admit you have feelings!" She laughed, letting go of his hand to point an accusing finger at him. "I admit nothing." She giggled and hugged him. "Ah, you aren't scary to me, Lock." He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not, huh?" He let out a low growl and walked toward her, claws raised. Aubrey let out an undignified shriek before turning and running. She didn't make it far before Lock caught and tackled her. "You were saying?" He asked, grinning down at her. "That you are an incredibly terrifying monster." "Thought so." He climbed off of her and helped her up. Aubrey looked deeper into the Hinterlands. "So... is it really gone?" Lock blinked. "Is what gone?" "The door. Is it gone?" He took her hand. "You can see for yourself." xXx I heard Aubrey gasp as we walked into the clearing where the door once stood. "Woah..." She let go of my hand and walked forward, crouching down at the edge of the ash pile that was surprisingly still sitting there. I walked up behind her. "Aubrey, you know that you can't go home now, right?" She nodded slightly. "Yeah. I know." She replied quietly. "It's not like I had much to go back to. IV needles, therapy I didn't want or need, and a family who doesn't give a damn about my well being." I sat down next to her. "Consider yourself lucky you have a family." I shut up immediately. My life was not a fun subject for me to remember. Why I'd even brought it up, I didn't know. I felt Aubrey squeeze my hand. "You don't have to talk about it, Lock. I know it bothers you." She kissed my cheek. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Come on, let's head back. We don't need Shock strangling Barrel." She pulled me up and back toward town. "Hold on." I pulled the necklace out of my pocket and put it back around her neck. "I wanted to be able to give it to you at least once since Barrel had to do it for me the first time." She smiled. "Thanks." Chapter 9 Chapter 9 1 month, 20 days later... (that means it's December 22) "I hate high school." Lock muttered. Shock smirked. "You're just mad 'cause you had so many detentions that they lasted into vacation." I laughed. "Maybe if you hadn't tried to make the science lab explode..." "Twice." Shock interrupted. "Then you probably wouldn't have had detention in the first place." I finished. Yes, Jack had enrolled all four of us in high school. Well, actually, Barrel was in middle school still, but that's not the point. We were on vacation because Jack had declared that we got Christmas break, and since he's the Pumpkin King, his word is law. Lock looked at Shock and I warily. "Stop agreeing with each other. It's weird." "You're weird." We retorted. I looked around. "Hey, where's Barrel?" "Snowball fight!" Barrel called from behind us, and we all turned around. As soon as we did, he chucked a snowball at Lock. I laughed as it smacked its intended target in the side of the head. "Hey, whose side are you on?" Lock growled. "Sorry Lock." I giggled. "But you have to admit it was a pretty good shot." "Thanks a lot." He muttered, bending down and grabbing a handful of the white powder. "Get back here Barrel!" He yelled, chasing the black clothed boy. Barrel just laughed and ran faster. I sat down on the fountain's edge. Shock joined me. "You gonna sit this one out?" I asked. She nodded. "It's not worth the energy." "That's not like you." She shrugged. "What about you?" I shook my head. "I'll let the boys beat each other senseless by themselves. I, however, am freezing to death, pun definitely intended, and am going home." As I stood, a flash of dizziness and fatigue overtook me, and the frost covered ground rose to meet me as the world whited out. xXx "Aubrey!" Shock yelled, shaking her. She didn't get a response. "Would you two idiots get over here and help?" Me and Barrel looked up, and then ran over. "What happened?" Barrel asked, picking up her arms. "I don't know, she said she was going home, stood up, then passed out." Shock told him. "You're going to hurt her idiot." "Move. I can get her." I told him, picking her up easily. She was way to light to be natural. "Come on, we need to get Jack and Sally." All three of us took off toward Skellington Manor. "Jack! Sally!" Barrel yelled, scampering up the stairs ahead of us. The door opened. "Barrel, is something wrong?" Sally asked. Jack was behind her. "Something's wrong with Aubrey." He panted, pointing back at Shock and I, who were about halfway up the stairs. It's not that we were slow, I was just afraid of tripping on the broken steps and dropping her. Jack rushed down to meet us and examined Aubrey. "What happened?" Shock explained again. "She didn't say she felt sick or anything?" We all shook our heads. "She seemed fine when we were walking back from school." Barrel muttered. "She was laughing when I hit Lock with a snowball." Sally touched Jack's shoulder. "Maybe the doctor would know what's wrong." Jack nodded. "Right. Lock, take Aubrey up to her room. I'm going to get Doctor Finklestein." He said and walked between us, Sally following him. All three of us scaled the stairs and went inside. xXx "Do you know what's wrong with her?" Jack asked Dr. Finklestein. Doctor F. looked worried. "Jack, Sally, I need to talk to you privately." He wheeled out of the room, Jack and Sally following behind him. Jack shut the door after him. The door to the next room opened and closed. Yeah right, like that was gonna stop us. All three of us pressed our ears to the wall. "Now, when Aubrey entered Halloween Town over a month ago, she was still very much alive." "Doctor, we already know that." Jack said, exasperated. "Don't interrupt Jack!" Dr. F snapped. "Her physical body is holding up perfectly, but her spirit is... deteriorating." The three of us looked at each other, mouthing the word. How does your soul 'deteriorate'? Sally voiced our question. "Deteriorating?" "Let me explain. Our town is built for the dead. Aubrey's soul is living, and the energy of the town is trying to fix her by destroying it." "But if she dies, wouldn't she just end up back here?" Jack asked. "I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. When a soul comes to Halloween Town, it is still completely, or mostly at least, intact from the time it was separated from its physical body. If Aubrey's soul continues to be destroyed like it is, she will die, but she won't get back up." "How long until that happens?" Jack asked worriedly. The fact that he, Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, Halloween Town's ultimate scare-master, was worried scared the hell out of me. "A week, maybe two. It depends on Aubrey's will. I'm surprised she hasn't been displaying any signs of weakening yet." I suddenly thought of all the times at school where Aubrey had seemed incredibly tired, nearly passing out a few times. And she'd been getting sick a lot lately. I looked over at her. Her breathing was rhythmic, but it was ragged, almost forced. She was paler than usual and had gotten a lot thinner. "Isn't there a way to stop it?" Sally asked. "Not anymore my dear. The only way to reverse what is happening would be to get Aubrey back to the living world. But that feat is now impossible since the door is gone." I pulled away from the wall. "Lock?" Barrel asked. "You okay?" "No, Barrel, I'm not okay!" I snapped. "How did I not notice something was wrong?" "Lock, chill. Aubrey didn't want us to know. She always said she was fine, how were we supposed to know?" Shock crossed her arms. "Personally, I blame our uniforms. They're so baggy that you wouldn't be able to tell that she was getting so sickly skinny." I hit my forehead. "I should've known, though! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I hit my head against the wall with every "stupid." "Stop it Lock!" Shock said, pulling me away from the wall. "It isn't your fault and beating yourself up won't do anyone any good! The best thing we can do is try to help find a way to living world." "How?" I asked. "The door's gone." "Sandy Claws!" Barrel exclaimed excitedly. "What?" Shock and I asked. He rolled his eyes. "Sandy Claws. He goes to the living world every year. Maybe he could take Aubrey back." Shock and I looked at each other. "You know, that's actually a pretty good idea." Shock muttered. "Then let's go tell Jack!" I ordered, running to the door. We ran into Jack's study, which is conveniently located right next to Aubrey's room, ecstatic. "Jack! Jack!" "What is it?" The skeleton asked. "We've got an idea." Shock grinned. "It was my idea, I wanna tell him!" Barrel whined. "Well?" Jack asked, crossing his arms. I rolled my eyes and clapped a hand over each of their mouths. "What if you asked Sandy Claws to take Aubrey back?" Jack brightened immediately. "That's a wonderful idea! Sally, you come with me. You three watch Aubrey. If she shows any sign of getting worse, one of you come get me. Doctor, thank you for your assistance." He and Sally walked out quickly, Doctor Finklestein not far behind them. "Lock?" A quiet voice called. I took a step toward the door, and then turned to look at Shock and Barrel. Shock shoved me out of the room. "She asked for you, not us." I walked into the room and shut the door. Aubrey was sitting propped up against a pillow and the bed's headboard. There were three or four tear tracks on her cheeks. "You were awake?" She nodded. "Since 'our town is built for the dead'." I sat down next to her on the bed. "Why didn't you tell us, Aubrey?" I asked. "We might've been able to help!" "I don't know. I thought it would just go away." She 'tch'-ed. "Shows how much I know." "You know plenty. You just don't use it sometimes." I told her. She bit her lip. "I'm scared, Lock. I don't wanna die, but I don't wanna leave either!" I hugged her. It was the only thing I could think to do. I felt her grip my shirt. "If I had to choose, I think I'd rather have you live and never see you again than have you die and never see you again." "What's the point?" She muttered into my shoulder. "Both of them end with 'and never see you again'." "Yeah, but at least with the first one I know you're okay." She pulled out of my hug, but was still holding onto my shirt. "You wouldn't know. If I go back, I could get another boyfriend and you'd never know." "But you wouldn't." I told her. "How do you know?" I grinned. "Aubrey, you've dated me. Any other guy would pale in comparison." She smirked. "I don't know, they don't get much paler than you." "Your wonderfully cynical sense of humor's back, you're okay." I said, loosening her grip and getting up. She pulled on my arm. "No, stay here. Please? We haven't had a chance to just talk in a while." She smiled. I sat back down. "Okay. I know exactly what to talk about." The door opened and Shock and Barrel peeked in. "Is the mushy stuff over?" Barrel asked. I frowned. "You've been eavesdropping, you should know." "No, I've been eavesdropping. And let me tell you, I nearly lost my lunch." Shock said. "Do you want us to leave?" I shrugged. "You can stay. I was going to tell Aubrey how we ended up meeting." Shock cackled. "Ooh, I want to help with this." Barrel sat down. "Yeah, you'll just screw it up." I rolled my eyes. "Fine, you two can help. But don't interrupt!" "We won't." They both promised with oh-so-obviously fake sincerity. I sighed and started anyway. "I was born about three centuries ago in London. If you thought that it was bad from reading about it, I can tell you honestly that the book version is highly censored. It was a hellhole. You didn't even want to walk the streets in the daytime, let alone at night. Especially if you were a girl. That's how I came around. "My mom wanted me, she really did, but her parents threw her out of the house 'cause they thought she was a whore. They said, 'If you ever want to be accepted in this house again, get rid of him.' She kept me until I was three, but couldn't take poverty any longer after that. She ditched me at the 'Arlem's Home for Orphans' and probably ran back to her parents, begging forgiveness. "Let me tell you, growing up in that place was not fun at all. I in the four years I lived there, I tried to off myself at least four or five different ways. When all my other attempts at getting rid of myself failed, I decided I was going to make sure I did it right this time..." "You were going to kill yourself?" Aubrey interrupted. "And you were NINE?" "Orphanages back then were like child labor camps. Killing myself seemed like a kindness." I explained lamely. "It wasn't like anyone would've cared- they were all sure that I was possessed by a demon or something, and when they figured out that's just how I was, it just got worse. They threw me into a lake, bound and gagged, reading from the bible just to top it off." The look on Aubrey's face was somewhere between really pissed and horrified. "Anyway, I snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, wrote out a suicide note, and headed out to the lake." "Which is when he ran into us." Barrel said. Aubrey frowned. "Wait- what were you two doing out there?" "Trying to sneak out." Shock explained. "We'd just gotten pulled off the streets." "Yeah, you guys hit me in the face with a branch." Lock said dryly. Barrel crossed his arms. "Well, you DID sneak up on us..." "You yelled 'ZOMBIE' and smacked me with it." Aubrey giggled a little. "Anyway, we all introduced ourselves-" "Waitwaitwait." Aubrey interrupted again. "With your real names?" I frowned. "Yes with our real names, what'd you- oh. Oh no, not telling." "Please, Lock?" She begged. "I don't care if she knows." Barrel said. "Mine was William. William Rigrew." Shock rolled her eyes. "Fine. Sarah Collens." I remained stubbornly silent. "Lock, c'mon... please?" Aubrey stuck her lower lip out a bit. I closed my eyes. "Lock!" "His name was Louis DuVall." Shock finally answered for me. "Shock!" "Thank you Shock." Aubrey said. I grumbled and crossed my arms. "Oh, Lock, it's not that bad. I like it." I smiled, feeling a little appeased. "Yeah, well... anyway, I got talked out of killing myself, they got talked out of leaving, and we basically became inseperable." Aubrey hugged me. "Aww, that's cute. Not the part where you were going to kill yourself, that little end bit." I rolled my eyes and put an arm around her shoulders. "No, really? I thought the knife I stole was the cutest. I even named it." "Whatever. So how did you guys end up here?" All three of us grimaced. "Arlem's caught on fire. We got trapped inside." Shock laughed. "Trapped? Those bastards probably locked us in!" "It's possible. But for all we know, they could've-" I stopped as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. The door opened, and Jack and Sally walked in. "Aubrey! You're awake." Jack said happily. "Lock, Shock, Barrel; we need to talk to Aubrey." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, we get it. C'mon guys." I mouthed 'bye' behind Jack and Sally's backs before walking out. xXx "You had us very worried, Aubrey." Jack scolded. "Why didn't you tell someone?" "I didn't think it was serious. I thought I had a cold or the flu or something." Jack sat down on the bed. "I suppose they filled you in?" She nodded. No need to tell him that she'd been eavesdropping to. "I have to go back, don't I?" She asked, her eyes wet. Jack nodded. "Sandy- er, Santa Clause is going to take you back." Aubrey blinked. "But… that means I've only got a day left here." "Well, then you'd better make the best of it, and you certainly won't do that in here." Jack told her, smiling. "Go find Lock, Shock, and Barrel and go have some fun." Aubrey didn't need to be told twice and ran downstairs, where the three trick-or-treaters were waiting. All four walked down to the Hinterlands, more precisely, the spot where the door used to be. They needed some privacy, and this was the best place to get it. xXx "So you're going to be gone tomorrow?" Lock asked. Aubrey nodded. Shock and I stayed quiet. We had both really started to like Aubrey. She wasn't an official trick-or-treater, but she helped us pull off some great pranks! An idea suddenly came to me. I tugged on Shock's sleeve. "We need to have a quick meeting. Lock, come on." He gave me a look that clearly said he'd rather not. "Come on! It'll just be for a minute." He sighed and walked over behind Shock and me. Another sign something was wrong. He usually was fighting with Shock to be in front. I explained my idea. Shock agreed with me. "We've gotten her in trouble with Jack so many times, she's definitely qualified." Lock's usual grin had returned. "You two are great." Shock groaned, but you could tell she appreciated the comment. "Don't get all mushy on us; just go get your girlfriend." He ran over to Aubrey and dragged her back to us. "What is it?" "We've decided that…" I started. "Since you're leaving and we can't do a proper initiation on Halloween like we're supposed to…" Shock continued. "That we're gonna make you an official trick-or-treater!" Lock finished. Aubrey's eyes widened. "Seriously?" "Would we lie to you?" Shock asked. Aubrey nodded. "Well, would we lie to about something as important as this?" She laughed. "I'd hope not." Lock looked around. "Either of you got something sharp?" Shock and I both checked our pockets. "Nope." "Me neither." Lock groaned. "Of course. When we actually need it…" "Well, this was sort of an impulse based thing." I reminded him. Aubrey pulled something out of her costume. "Will this work?" She held up a pin. "Sally was hemming my sleeves yesterday. Guess she forgot about it." Shock took it and scratched her palm. A blood leaked out quickly. "Yeah." She passed it around to me, then Lock, and he cut Aubrey. "Ow! I could've done it myself, Lock." She muttered, staring at her hand. "I'm sort of surprised you guys still have blood." "Just press your hand to each of ours before they heal." Shock ordered, pressing her bleeding palm to Aubrey's. Lock and I did the same, though Lock had to cut himself again because it was already starting to heal. Shock muttered a healing spell and Aubrey's cut sealed too. "Hold on." Aubrey took the pin again and pricked her finger. She squeezed it until a drop of blood hit the ground. "It's a blood oath thing. I did it with Emily once. It's sort of like a promise, only more powerful and binding and crap." "What are you promising?" I asked, curious. She grinned. "That when I die, I'll end up here, in this spot." Lock took it and copied her. "Okay, then I promise when you die, which better not be anytime soon, by the way, I'll be here waiting." "Ooh, ooh, me too!" I took the pin and did the same. Shock took it next, which surprised me a little. "Me too. Trick-or-treaters stick together forever, right?" "Right!" Lock and I responded, grinning. xXx That night in the room Lock and me shared, Lock wasn't doing so well. Jack had just left with Aubrey to take her to Christmas Town. They had spent a lot of time alone together since we got back, but he still looked miserable. "It isn't fair, Barrel. Why does she have to go back? What did we ever do that was so wrong? I… oh god." "Lock?" I asked. He wasn't acting like himself. "I think I'm actually in love with her, Barrel." It was killing me all over again to see Lock like this. Normally, I'm the one who came to him with problems. "I guess...sometimes... love just isn't enough." I didn't know what to do. I'd never been in love before, and normally I wasn't the one giving advice to my older "brother". "But, it's for the best, right? And we'll see her again." There was a silent 'eventually' at the end of that sentence. I couldn't be sure, but I could've sworn I heard Lock mutter, "I hope so." Chapter 10 Chapter 10 A Christmas Epilogue December 25, 2:56 a.m. Somewhere in The Towers' hospital wing… Aubrey Peterson had been in a coma for almost two months. Or, at least, that's what the staff at The Towers and the rest of the world thought, courtesy of one Mr. Nicholas Claus. So when she woke up very early Christmas morning, everyone was amazed. Especially Leon Jacobs. At noon, he went to visit his patient. "Hello Aubrey." Aubrey looked over at him. She was sitting up in her bed, eating her lunch of macaroni and cheese. "Hello Dr. Jacobs." He smiled. "I'm glad to see that you remember me." She swallowed her mouthful of noodles. "Why wouldn't I?" Leon sat down in a chair next to her bed. "You took quite a fall, Aubrey. Tripped on one of Lindsey's books and slammed your head against three-inch steel bars. You don't remember?" She shook her head. "What about Halloween Town?" Aubrey remembered. Santa had told her he would implant false memories into everyone's mind. She asked one thing. Don't tamper with Emily. He'd agreed. Emily was smart. She'd figure something out. She remembered sneaking out. She remembered living in Halloween Town for the past two months. She remembered Jack taking her to Christmas Town so Santa could take her back. Aubrey remembered everything. But she couldn't go back to Halloween Town. Not for a very long time anyway. It was lost to her. So, looking Leon straight in the eye, she replied to him, "What's Halloween Town?" xXx It took five days to get all the paperwork done that would allow me to go home. Leon had declared me completely sane, saying that the bump on the head had gotten rid of my delusional fantasies. I played the part of the confused girl, and said I didn't remember anything. You get really good at lying after a couple weeks of hanging around with Lock, Shock, and Barrel. So, as I waited for Emily to come pick me up and take me home, I reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out the amulet. I'd hid it under my robe when I'd woken up. I doubt Santa had made up an excuse for it, and I didn't need to manage another lie. I hooked it around my neck just as Emily's Mercedes pulled up. She leaned over and opened the door for me after I'd put my stuff in the trunk. "Looks like we've got some catching up to do." I said. "And six hours to do it in." Emily grinned back. "We're taking the long way. I'll take you to lunch." I couldn't help but grin. I was so craving some greasy fast food. As she drove through the gates, she told me that mom and Ryan had suddenly started babbling about how you'd fallen into a coma. I thought I was going crazy, because we'd known since your birthday that you'd disappeared from The Towers." "It was Santa." I told her. She shrugged. "Wouldn't doubt it. So… where did you go?" I smiled, almost dreamily. "Halloween Town. I can't ever get back, though. The door's gone." "You'd better start from the beginning." Emily told me. And so I did, starting from the very first time I'd gone, to when mom stuck me in The Towers, to getting rid of Oogie Boogie, to getting enrolled in High School there, finishing with coming back here. "You got to ride in Santa's sleigh? Cool." Emily admonished. I was quiet for a minute. "Em, why'd you suddenly start believing me?" I saw my sister's grip on the steering wheel tighten, making her knuckles go white. "I was looking through some of our old medical records, you know, from back when dad died." She gulped. "Mom had hired a… a hypnotist of sorts. For two treatments." It took me a second to absorb the information. "Me and you. Oh my god. What for?" Emily pulled into a parking lot of a burger place. "I'll tell you over lunch." When we had our food and were back in the car, she continued her story. "I looked this guy up and set up an appointment with him. When I told him I wanted him to undo whatever he did, and he did it…" She leaned her head against the steering wheel. "We were in the car when dad crashed, Aubrey." My fry dropped into my lap. Oh. My. God. I remembered now. xXx We were just coming home from the special Halloween circus. It was my third birthday. Emily was eight. Mom and Ryan had stayed home, so it was just us three in the truck. We were listening to a kiddie songs tape. Dad was laughing as I tried to remember the words to 'The man on the flying trapeze.' Then…then a huge shadow popped up in front of the car. Dad swerved out of surprise, slamming into the guardrail. The shadow laughed, a laugh that chilled me to the bone. A laugh I knew far too well now. The truck was teetering on the edge of the cliff. Emily and I were both crying and had cuts all over our bodies from the shattered window in front. Dad reached back and unbuckled us both, then shoved open the back window that led into the truck bed. "Climb out, both of you." He had ordered. We did so, but the sudden shift of weight made the truck topple over the edge. We sat in the back, screaming as the truck flew down the side of the cliff, landing with a crunch and throwing us out of the back. When I woke up, the truck was burning, with dad trapped inside. Almost all of his skin and muscle was burned off his face, showing the bone underneath. I started screaming again. xXx "Oogie killed dad." I whispered. "I knew I wasn't crazy." "He was trying to kill all of us, Aubrey." Emily told me. "All three of us. If dad had waited even one more second, we would've still been inside the truck when it fell." She pulled me into a hug. "We could both go to Halloween Town at first. We both heard the voices. We both saw the monsters in the closet, and under the bed. "Mom didn't hire a hypnotist until a year later, your next birthday. I took to it a lot better than you. The guy made you forget the accident, but you still saw the monsters. Now you just didn't know why. Mom couldn't handle it. So after that incident on your eighth birthday, she had you committed." "Oogie… that's what he meant. We weren't supposed to die that day with dad. I was." I sobbed into her sweater. "The reason I couldn't forget was because I had the key to the door. I couldn't forget because I helped to connect us with Halloween Town." Emily hugged me tighter. "It's not your fault Aubrey. No one blames you. Everything's okay now, all right? Let's go home." She started up the car again and started to pull out as I took a bite of my now lukewarm burger. "So… what's up with you and this Lock dude?" "Emily!" xXx "Lock, come on!" Shock called up the stairs. "You're gonna make us late!" "So?" Was all she got as a response. She turned to Barrel. "Will you go talk to him?" Jack walked up behind them. "I'll talk to him. You two get going." "Okay. See ya' Jack. Come on Barrel!" "Bye Jack! Bye Sally!" Barrel called, running after Shock. "Hey, wait for meeee!" Sally walked out of the kitchen. "Give Lock a few days, Jack. He's still probably confused himself." Jack nodded. "I know." He sat down in his high backed chair. "It's so quiet without Aubrey helping them to cause trouble. They haven't tried to pull anything in almost a week." Sally hugged him. "We all miss her, Jack." The End Publication Date: December 4th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-hugs.and.kisses

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lpsrfun1234-far-from-love/

Lpsrfun1234 Far From Love Why this happened I sighed to myself. I know that my dance group was not doing the dance right and they knew too. We were trying to act like... Oh mind my manners my name is Zul. Back to the story. The king and queen was coming around. we then all ran off to get notebooks to act like we were studying. The queen hates dance and music. I never expected it will end me up here. As soon as they left we started the dance routine to the song My Dream by Tiffany (i forgot her last name). Then we heard a knock on the dance door. We froze again. As I walked quietly and very poiletly opened the door I saw the guard for the choosing your team. "Good afternoon. Kids today you are going to choose your teams or what ever you kids call them. Here come the queen and King." the guard that... Well you know said unhappily. "Good afternoon kids as you know I am your queen. Queen Hope. And today it is time to choose your teams, but I will choose for you... You all go to prison!!!!!!" the queen said. "What. I cannot go my dad will kill me! For real!" said Jen and Bob in a scared toned. "You two are going to get killed today, so guards get them now!" the queen said in an angry tone. "Now every one get into the truck. And fast the moon is about to be out." The queen said. Oh my bad I forgot to tell you this town/countroy is a werewolf country. We all ran to the truck, and the guards closed the door. "I am so sorry team. I do not know why we are getting sent to jail or prison. Can you forgive me." I said "We can Lyall. It is not all your fault." said Gueatbowolf "I know why you guys are going to jail. The queen hates you all, not for dancing. Just she is jealous of something." said a wise stranger. Then a big whoosh happened and the wise stranger was gone. The truck stopped and made a loud screech. We are at our destination. We all stayed quite as the doors opened. The guards got Jen and Bob. Soon they got us. They walked to the killing room with us all and forced us to sit down. They put Jen and Bob in the machine. With all clear windows. Water, gas, chemicals, and poison going in it and then a rope came out of no where and got Jen and Bob and the got hung. We all sat in horror. "Now take them away. Also give them their suites." Queen Hope said. What happened to us? Publication Date: July 13th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-lpsrfun1234

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-hannah-ritchie-beyond-and-back/

Hannah Ritchie Beyond and Back To my family who have helped and supported me through everything Publication Date: March 25th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-ohioextremecheer

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-hopedieslast-marry-the-night/

hopedieslast Marry the night Meeting the neighbors "Abel, hurry" Ashley Carter, a petite blonde, said. She was dragging a tall, handsome boy, named Abel Gonzales, by his wrist along the sidewalk. Suddenly she stopped. Abel could see what she was looking at. It was the widow, Ms. Donell, whose husband had died under mysterious circumstances, leaving her all his money. She was the neighborhood gossip and took joy in destroying others reputation. She was sunbathing in a bikini that was three sizes too small. They hid behind the spruce tree in the Jeffreys yard. After a few minutes Ms. Donell got off her chair and went inside her house. Ashley let out a breath and Abel pulled her out from behind the tree. "Let's keep going" Abel said. Ashley was one step ahead and was almost running to the new neighbors house. "Ashley, wait for me" Abel yelled out running after her. When he finally caught up to her he was tired from running in the boiling sun. "Why are you in such a rush" Abel asked, out of breath. "I'm just excited to meet the new neighbors. With that Ashley turned to the door and knocked. There was a bit of noise and then the door opened. A tiny woman appeared at the door. She was about 5'2 with dark hair, dark eyes, and pale skin. She carried an air of elegance that intimidated Abel, though the woman was half his size. The woman beamed at them. "Hello, what may I help you with" the woman said in a thick spanish accent. Ashley smiled back. "We wanted to see if you needed any help unpacking" Ashley said. When she said this the woman smiled even wider and pulled Ashley into a big hug, then pulled Abel into a hug. She finally let them go. "That would be lovely, thank you" she said, "my name is Azuscena Dominguez." "My name is Ashley Carter" Ashley said, "and this is Abel Gonzales" she added gesturing towards him. "Come in, come in" Azuscena said pulling them inside. They walked into the house and looked around. The place had a homey feel, even when it was half empty. "So where did you move here from" Abel asked looking at Azuscena. "From Mexico City" she said smiling. He was interested as his grandparents lived in Mexico City. "Who's that" Ashley asked pointing at a figure laying by the pool in the backyard. "That's my daughter" Azuscena said opening a box, "Ashley, would you be a sweetheart and tell her to come inside." Ashley stood up and opened the sliding glass door. When Ashley was gone he and Azuscena sat in silence. "So, how do you like it here" Abel asked breaking the silence. "It's nice but a bit overwheleming, seeing as we had to move on such short notice" Azuscena said. The glass door opened and Ashley and another girl walked through. He studied her for a moment. The girl was truly beautiful, with her long chocolate brown waves and her slighty lighter eyes. She was tall, about 5'7 and slender but with nice curves. She was the type of girl you saw on magazines or movie screens. She went to stand by her mother and it struck him how different they looked. While Azuscena was petite and slender her daughter was tall and curvy. Azucena's hair was almost pitch black and her daughter's was brown. The only similarities he could find were the long lashes and the almost porcelain color of their skin. Vaguely he noticed the girl had a beauty mark on her right cheek. "This is my daughter, Viviana" Azuscena said proudly. "Mother, I can introduce myself" Viviana said huffing. She smiled at the two guests. She pulled Ashley in for a hug just as her mother had and then pulled Abel in for a hug. This hug felt different, though. "Nice to meet you" Viviana said. "Ashley, would you come help me in the kitchen?" Azuscena asked. The two women went into the kitchen and he just stood there watching Viviana. He caught her eye and quickly looked away. He turned back and saw she was smirking at him. She brushed past him and started up the stairs, then stopped. "It was really nice to meet you, Abel" she said. Them she continued up the stairs. The rest of the day passed in a blur of unpacking. The Dominguez home was succesfully unpacked and at around 10:00, Ashley and Abel left. He repeated his encounter with Viviana and then he realized. He never told her his name. Publication Date: January 7th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-hopedieslast

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jojo-my-world/

jojo My World nada i dedicate this too.... nah no one really. i did this just for fun, bruh :) LETS DO THIS. Impossible. This is impossible. “OLIVIA, GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE AND ON THIS TOILET SEAT! YOU SHALL BE TRAINED, MY PUP!” I yelled. I heard a giggle. Immediately, I stand up and go into the laundry room. I look around and get a small cover. I go into the kitchen and set it under the sink. I stomp my feet and slam the door that leads outside. Quickly, I climbed on top of the counter and crawl to the sink, getting myself ready for the cue. The cabinet door, underneath me, slowly opens. I see two little hands come out, then a head full of blond curly hair. She crawls on to the cover and sits down for a minute. I jump down and grab the four ends of the small cover. I start off to the restroom. I go to the potty chair and release the cover. Olivia plops down on her butt, and looks at me with wide green eyes. I look at her. “Now, bee, it’s time to get on the potty. Unless you want to learn how to go potty outside.” I say. She made her eyes go wider and shakes her head no. I smile at her. I take her diaper off and set her on the toilet seat. She just sits there. Finally, I hear dripping sounds. She looks at me and smile. “Mama, I powy!” she yells happily. “I know! Your such a good girl, bee!” I say. I heard the front door open and close. I finish up in the restroom and put Olivia in her highchair. “Mommy!” Isaac yells. I see him running towards me and I grab him. “Hey buddy.” I said. He looks at Olivia. “Hi, bee!” he said. Olivia stops playing with her cereal and looks at Isaac. “Hi!” She says. Scylla walks in with Conner. Oh god I hate that dude. He looks at me and winks. I give him my death glare. He just smirks at me. I walk over to Scylla and give her a hug. “What’s up?” I ask. She walks over to Olivia and picks her up. Then she looks at me. “Nothing much, bored.” She said. I nod my head and go to the bathroom. I tried to close the door but there was a foot in the way. Dammit to hell! I open up the door and glare at Conner. “What the hell dude?! I need to pee!” I yelled. He shut the door and locked it. He looked at me. “I need to talk to you.” He said. I rolled my eyes and flicked my fingers. He was out and I went pee. As I was going pee, I started to remember my fiancé. It’s been a year and a half since he died. Since my life wasn’t crazy. I figured out what happened. He was supposed to go to the army in the US army. NOT the supernatural army. I didn’t even know that existed. We are at war with the fairies. I thought fairies were sweet. But know. Them mother fuckers are evil. And you know something? Its ganna stop. Because I’m finally HERE. SHIT. So it’s June 17th. And it is freaky hot. I’m walking around my house in Dora underwear and a blues clues bra. I can’t find my Dora bra. Anyways, Isaac has little boxers on and Olivia has a diaper. I am not going to put close on my children when it’s this hot out. Nope. Not at all. So right now I’m making home made chicken dumplings. My grandma’s recipe. Olivia walks into the kitchen and sits in the middle of the floor. She turns into her pure white wolf. “Olivia! Do you want to have a heat stroke!? Change back…NOW!” I snap. She changes back quickly. I turn back to my luscious dumplings. The front door opens and closes. I already know its Scylla and Conner. They walk into the kitchen and look at me. I look at what there wearing. Scylla has on an orange T-shirt and jeans on. Conner has a blue T-shirt and black shorts on. Scylla is looking at me like I’m crazy and Conner… Conner is the same horny dude so what do you think? I look at them. “It’s my house. If you don’t like my luscious body, then get out.” I said to them. Scylla smiles and shakes her head. Conner won’t stop staring. I rolled my eyes. Then I stopped when I noticed something. He had a tattoo. One that looks like mine. I don’t know what it is yet. But I’ll find out. I look into his eyes. He has a confused face on then it turned into worry when he saw I seen his tattoo. I just shrug. I take out five bowls from the cabinet and but the food in it and Walla! Dinner is servi (served in French). I put Olivia in her highchair and Isaac next to me. Scylla and Conner are sitting across from me. I feel eyes on me while I’m eating. I CANNOT stand when people look at me while I’m eating. It makes me feel fat. I look up and look at Conner. I found the creeper. “So what’s been up in the hood?” he asks. I look at him and snicker. He’s trying way too hard for a white guy. You can tell he’s faking it. “Nothing. Hey hook me up with some those greens by you. I’ve been bashing for them. You feel me?” I asked. It just comes natural for me. Conner looks confused now. I rolled my eyes and look at Scylla which is trying not to laugh. She reaches by Conner and gets the broccoli and hands them to me. I smiled. “That’s what’s up.” I said. I look at Conner and laugh. He looks like a chiweeny (chiwawa). I look at Olivia and laugh harder. She has her bowl on top of her head and trying really hard to pick up the little piece of chicken with her baby spoon. I stopped laughing wants I realized something. I have to clean up that mess. SHIT. Text: this is my book bruh. dont still my shiz! you feel me? :) Images: photos belong to google Editing: lala Translation: lala All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 21st 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-jojo14

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jordan-mcdonald-punk-toilet-sadness/

Jordan McDonald Punk Toilet Sadness Little Johnny's Adventure Publication Date: August 25th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-jordanmcdonald

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-abigail-weedbrook-senior-year/

Abigail Weedbrook Senior Year Chapter 1. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. “ugh not again,” I get up and turn my alarm clock off, sadly it’s the first day of school. My last year at high school before I move away for university. I’m kind of excited for the next chapter in my life but mostly scared; it’s starting to kick in, I get this overwhelming feeling like soon I’ll be an adult. I will have to support myself throughout university. I will have bills to pay and groceries that I will have to shop for and soon enough I’ll be finished with schooling completely and ready for the work force as a nurse or midwife. Then who knows I may find my prince charming and end up getting married within the next ten years, I highly doubt that but I’m hopeful. It’s just all so overwhelming, its happening too quickly and I’m not sure if I’m ready for this, everyone says I’m more than ready but I’m not too sure now.   Sorry I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Sapphire Rose Chivers, I’m 17 years old and I live with my mum and dad in Perth along with my older brother, Jacob who is 19 and twin younger brother and sister, Charlotte and Robbie who are 15. I don’t really get along with my siblings I think that’s because I’m the odd one out, you could say I’m the nerd of the family. My sister Charlotte is very popular she is tall with olive skin, chocolate coloured hair and hazel eyes. She’s models on weekends and already has an agent who says she is going be a very famous model one day. As for my brother Robbie, he and Charlotte look alike with the olive skin, chocolate coloured hair and hazel eyes, but other than that they are completely different, besides they are both popular and always pretend like they don’t know me. Robbie is the football teams captain and is taking after Jacob and dad with the football legacy in our family. As for plain old me I take after my mum with my light olive skin, black hair and green/grey eyes. I’m the academic leader for this year as I get straight A’s at school and have since I started kindergarten, it’s believed that I will also get valedictorian at the end of year when I graduate.   “Hurry up Sapphire I need to get to school!!” I snap out of daydream and run down stairs with my school bag and car keys, the twins shot me an aggravated look for making them wait when I was actually waiting for them. When we arrived at school the twins made sure to not be seen with me by anyone. “Oh Sapphire don’t worry about me this afternoon my agent is picking me up I have a shoot this afternoon” Charlotte whispered so no one knew she was talking to me. “Oh and don’t worry about me either I have football training for my game tomorrow so I’ll just walk home after practice” Robbie also whispering before running off to his team mates.     Publication Date: February 6th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-kg5cc4d11702435

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sammi-scott-what-if/

Sammi Scott What If Chapter 1 I was sitting on my bed in a black tank top and short shorts. With my favorite boot-slippers. Right by my bed is my window. On the other side is a side table. My head was ont the window. I just couldn't help but think "What If." The worst two words of my life. What if I was the one. What if I was the one he was crazy about. What if he hates me. What if i'm not good enough or never will be. I know it's just a dream. Nobody can ever love a ugly, pathetic girl like me. I had felt tears coming. I just couldn't help but cry. By the time I was donr crying my eyes were all red and puffy. I heard a knock at my window. I looked out my window and on my roof was my best friend. His name is Bruce. He has light brown hair and deep dark brown eyes. He is way taller then me. Everyone is pretty much taller then me.  I bent over and unlatched the latch. He climbed in from the roof. He looked at at me for a moment studying me. Then gave me the look. The look is where his eyes look like a puppy and he wasn't smiling or frowning. Then he rolled his eyes. "Tiffney what's wrong?" he asked.  He bent over and gave me a hug. I started to cry again. He stroked my light brown hair. I tried to get out of the hug, but of course he wouldn't let me. Which made me cry even more. [More coming soon] Publication Date: April 21st 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-lovley.flower