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###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Physical Punishment, the prompt/s are - The parental slap has saved countless children from seriously jeopardizing their safety or their social acceptability and here is the essay: Anxious, distress, helpless it seems that no matter how hard, how many times you have tried in vain to explain the issue to the child, they never can get it. There are things that they shouldn’t do. They should know that they shouldn’t cross the road when the traffic light is still red in color, as this act may result for them being hit by cars; they shouldn’t put everything reachable by them into their mouth, as this may lead chocked…etc. Those examples are just the tips of the iceberg, there are tremendous more acts that would also result to a dreadful consequence. It is important to make sure the children know it before they have to suffer it. Given the consequences of doing those acts is too big for them to be bear with.
Surely not all physical punishments are acceptable. There are serval criteria which parent should bear in mind when using it as a tool to educate their children. The first one is, it is used for the sake of the children. The reason why many people deeply against the usage of physical punishment is because it can be misuse easily to become a brutal and violence act. Consider that when you perform the physical punishment to a child, the child has no ability to against it. The other criteria for this type of physical punishment is that it should not create any irreversible mental or physical damages to the child. Since the main purpose of exercising the physical punishment to not the hurt the child but to let the child to understand her or she has just did done and to make sure that the child won’t perform those acts again.
Physical punishment is more useful than reasoning in order to saved countless children from seriously jeopardizing their safety or their social acceptability. This is because children’s reasoning ability are not yet fully developed, so that’s why they may not understand the logic behind why they couldn’t perform those acts or the detrimental consequence that may result due to the act. According to the operant conditioning, human learn by consequence. It is the consequence itself that determent the frequency to those acts. If such act gives you a pleasant feeling, then it will increase the likelihood for one to perform the act again. Whereas on the other hand, if the act gives you an aversive feeling, it will decrease the chance for one to perform the act. By exercising physical punishment can prevent the children to perform the act again, as the child would have associate doing that act will resulted to an aversive feeling for instance being slap by his or her parent. Even the child is too young to understand the reason why he or she will be punished, somehow it is more important for them to know what act can be done or can not be done, in order to protect them.. ###Response: 40-44 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Gossip, the prompt/s are - Whoever gossips to you, will gossip of you and here is the essay: What is the best way to fit into the group? In before, I always think that gossip is the answer. Most of the time when we gossip about someone, there is usually there is by no mean wanting to insult, humiliate to that person. The reason is just because it is fun to say it, by having the same secret as your friends help to strengthen the bond plus, it helps to improve your self-esteem by stepping down others.
I always like to hang out with friends that will tell me a lot of gossip of different things, no matter whether it is the person who I am familiar with or the person who is a completely stranger. Knowing those gossip not only broaden my horizon it also makes me feel that I am really being trusted as if not, how will they want to tell those things to me. In order to prove that I also trust about them, I will also share my gossip with them. Since I never intend to say something to hurt others, I only say things that I think it is funny, just want to joke around.
But whoever gossips to you will gossip of you.
I never imagined that one day I was being talk behind the back, and the people who gossip of you is not your worst enemy but your friends. Words that I used to think that has no harm now turns back to me, hitting me like an arrow. It is true that you will only realize how hurtful those words can be when you become the victim. I was deeply hurt by those gossip, nonetheless, I never hate those who gossip about me. Consider, I have did those things also, so I have no reason to blame them for doing the things that I have done also.
Even until now I still think gossiping with each other is the quickest way to blend in with others, however, I try not to do it. Consider that, I know gossip hurts, even the person who start the gossip has no intention of it, nonetheless, it all depends on the receiver. Even for the same thing, for instance a glass of water half full, some people may think it is half full, some may see it as half empty, as a result, how the deliver think or it and how the receiver interpret can be completely different. I think I am quite a self-fish person, because the reason why I stop to gossip about others, is because I don’t want to be being talk behind the back again, to be gossiped.. ###Response: 40-44 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Elephant Conservation, the prompt/s are - Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game ~ Paul Rodriguez and here is the essay: African elephants are in grave danger. Paul Rodriguez's quotation accurately identifies the inequity that exists between animal and man in the hunting game. However, while the arguments of anti- hunting proponents have some merit, Rodriguez fails to recognise the very real potential of hunting for saving African wildlife like the elephant from extinction. Understandably, it is a counterintuitive approach but it is one worth exploring. This can be exemplified by two main points. First, trophy hunting could have the triple effect of improving conservation efforts by ensuring land does not succumb to development by commercial farming, reducing curb illegal poaching and directing much needed funds into conservation initiatives. Second, trophy hunting could provide rural communities with a form of income and a purpose to ensure the protection of wildlife in their area. That said, there are evidently practical and political realities that could inhibit the achievement of these objectives.
Many of the nations that are home to Africa's rapidly dwindling elephant population are both heavily indebted, rife with state corruption and rely on agriculture for imports and food security. Successful Trophy hunting programmes could mean funding is directed towards conservation initiatives and large sections of wild land are not pillaged for commercial farming which has a huge ecological footprint. The implementation of such a programme is rare but has been witnessed in Namibia, where elephant numbers have been on the rise. The programme grants communities the power to manage wildlife on communal land and to work with private companies to develop their own tourism markets. This empowers the community to safeguard their local wildlife instead of engaging in illegal poaching where they benefit monetarily only in the very short-term and by eating the meat to sustain themselves. Further, hunting relies on animals being abundant. Therefore, it has the potential to improve employment and income in rural communities as one hunting expedition can fund anti-poaching security forces for up to almost a year.
Rural communities in most African countries receive little or no funding. Trophy hunting could provide the much needed revenue to improve community life, development and education. The International Union for the Conservation of Nature, the internationally recognised organisation that sets the conservation status of species, ratifies this idea: ''Well-managed trophy hunting can provide both revenue and incentives for people to conserve and restore wildlife population and protect animals from poaching.'' In Namibia the income to communal conservancies has risen from $165,000 to almost $2,000,000 in the last six years. Households participating increased their incomes by 15 to 25 percent. While there is a small trickle-down, the programme has strengthened anti-poaching attitudes, as many know that illegal poaching undermines their financial security. As well as this, rural councils who have been underfunded can now improve community infrastructure and food security. Thus, the benefits of a carefully regulated and thought-out trophy hunting programme should not be too hastily excluded.
Despite Namibia's success, valid concerns remain about the plausibility of the successful implementation of these programmes on a wider scale. The corruption of the governments is most pressing. In Zimbabwe, the takeover of land by political elites has coincided with surges in organised illegal poaching syndicates. Additionally, trophy hunting efforts in Mozambique have seen the funds earned from hunting not returned to the community at all. Further, there are worries that under- the-counter deals will be made on hunting expeditions where, for an extra small fee that stays off the books, hunters could kill two or more elephants.. ###Response: 45-49 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Youth, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Perhaps, being young isn’t all that it’s cut out to be? The third claim by an anonymous author alludes to the obsession society has with being and appearing youthful. His claim that it is the tragedy of modern society is correct, and this can be explained through two points. First, young people are subject to extreme amounts of pressure to succeed and appear a certain way. Second, the attention and senses of the younger generation are perpetually saturated, leaving them overwhelmed and attention scarce.
The younger generations of today are fixated on being accomplished, amassing wealth and looking akin to the Instagram model. This is due largely to the accessibility of social media; these platforms have enabled their users to showcase their lives and achievements in such a way that is extremely public, all for the purpose of getting likes. For example, a study conducted by Standford Univeristy found that 73% of Instagram and twitter users under twenty-five, both male and female, felt that they needed to make surgical adjustments to their bodies for them to ‘feel confident’. The study’s results also found that over half of the participants were completing college courses in fields that they did not actually enjoy, but they believed the job prospects would make them wealthy. This study reflects the current values of our youth today. Further, it is a dark indicator of the issues that have evolved since the dawn of social media, such as low self-esteem and body dysmorphia. It is important to understand that these issues can also translate into very serious health and mental illnesses further down the line if they are not kept in check.
Despite technology advancements streamlining activities, young people are claiming that they busier than ever before. It appears that they are being saturated; their attention spans resonating between the iPads, iPhones, laptops, social media, work and academia. The research is telling us that the consequences of this are devastating: depression, anxiety and suicides are at the highest levels they have ever been across most western and Asian nations. This is likely to pace of our current society and the immense pressures young people take on and feel. They are more ways to measure ourselves against others than ever. They are perpetually bombarded with advertisements inviting them to improve upon their lives and appearance in some way. It is also known that these results are now becoming apparent in developing nations, where almost every individual has access to the internet.
It is apparent that being young today might not be as great as society would have you believe. Young people are subject to extreme amounts of criticism from themselves and others, both in person and online. The pressure to collect personal wealth is perhaps is being felt like never before. Moreover, their attention is being pulled in a multitude of directions, encouraging episodes of depression and anxiety that many nations have not seen before. Does youth still sound as appealing as it did before?. ###Response: 45-49 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Gender and Identity, the prompt/s are - Love has no gender and here is the essay: In this growing 21st century, equality or non-discrimination based on gender has been a one of the major problems, where men and women do not enjoy equal privileges. The nation can only progress when every individual gets equal opportunities and rights. People should look for your equalities rather than physical appearance and their sexual preferences. People need to understand we all are from humans and from the same planet. We all should learn how to treat people with love, doesn’t matter if it’s for men or women.
In general, there is still a lot of discrimination exists between humans based on their gender, sexual preferences, or colour. It is quite a prevalent in the entire world. Same-sex couples can be looked down upon as un-natural. Furthermore, some of countries legalized same-sex marriage including UK, United States of America, and Australia. Although we-re still waiting on many countries around the world to catch up. Furthermore, one of the most famous same- sex married couples, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi have been together and married for more than 10 years now. In a way we can say that people will only accept you when you get famous, which is very sad.
I believe anyone can love anyone they choose, and I find it infuriating to be against love just because of gender. Government should introduce more same-sex marriage seminars to educate people about love and what it is all about. If we don’t act now it might be too late as new generation is pretty much against it without even knowing the reason.. ###Response: 45-49 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is The Passage of Time, the prompt/s are - Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow as well and here is the essay: In this modern era, time is very precious and priceless for everyone. Time management is an important part of individuals routine. If you are bad with time management you will struggle to keep up to date with your tasks. In my opinion, time is most important than anything is else, for instance, money can be earned again but time cannot. So we should never spend our time without purpose and meaning at any stage of our life.
Furthermore, One of the above quotes stood out for me is “you may delay, but time will not”, this can explained different ways. One of the way is for instance, If you are planning to do a new research, you should start as soon as possible without wasting any time. As if you put it off time will not wait on you and someone else might think of the same research and roll it out before you do.
The time you spend on something less important is time wasted. For example, if you spend all your time on time watching TV or playing video games rather than studying in important times of your life. Time that you have wasted on such things will never come back again and most of us realize that early 20s.
In conclusion, do not do anything without particular aim. How much time you spend on studying and playing will determine your future. We all should have a balance routine to keep our mind fresh.. ###Response: 45-49 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Responsibilities, the prompt/s are - You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today and here is the essay: Shall we run away from responsibility?
There is no doubt that human beings are the complex creature that evolution has produced. We possess advanced intelligence compared with other species and have complex needs and desires that are required to be fulfilled. Among all these needs, everyone has his or her own responsibilities in life. Since the day we were born, we are bound to have our own responsibility in this world, we will not be able to escape from our responsibilities until the day we die. Is there any good of having responsibilities?
To begin with, no matter what life stage you are right now, you will have your own responsibilities. For students, their chief task will be finishing their studies, looking for their careers, and fulfil their social roles. And for retired persons, their responsibilities would be to look after their health and lifestyles which they neglected during their career. Even though for each individual, some of their responsibilities can be quite challenging sometimes, however, being able to meet your obligations and task can make you better person, and help you grow and life through hardships and challenges.
With this rapid changing world and busy daily lifestyles, life can be challenging, expectations will grow and so does our responsibilities. Every job has its roles and responsibilities, and sometimes more expectations will add to your role. For examples, providing this current Covid-19 pandemic, health care systems around the world have been put under the strain and stress, resulting more demand of responsibilities from the health care professionals. This is especially hit the hardest for those health care providers in the underdeveloped nations, due to the very limited resources like masks and personal protective equipments and ventilators, and more patients loads. Pressure on to the health care providers is enormous,
We all want to do our best to meet our expectations, and do our jobs well. However this can be challenging, if we can fulfil the task, we will have satisfaction from our jobs and get respect and praised from other people. The distasteful emotions and feeling will be ensure if we fail to do our roles and not meeting our responsibilities. For instance, the divorce rate are increasing nowadays especially in the west, when the couple break up, they tend to point fingers on each other and say that the other half is not doing his or her duty. In any successful relationship, deal breaker is based on how the responsibilities are being taken.
In light of above discussion, it is undeniable that we all have our responsibilities since the day we came to this world. With the rapid development our world, we are bound to have more task and duties whether in our career or in our social life. There is no way we can escape from all these responsibilities, even if we possessed the speed of life. We just have to do our best to meet the expectation, and in the meantime, we must not forget to live a life.. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Identity, the prompt/s are - We don’t need to worry about being different from or the same as others, we need to worry about being ourselves. and here is the essay: Have you ever asked yourself about your own life and the way you choose to live? Do you pave your own way and choose the path you want to walk? Unfortunately, most of us have not ever considered ourselves about our way of lives. We just want to fit in with the people around us, and we want what other people have. Since young we were judged and compared by people that we should do this and that, and we were discouraged to be different. Hence this laid a foundation in our inner core of our consciousness that by being the same with others is the must. And we are rarely being encouraged to strike for our own, be whoever we want to be and do whatever we desire in life.
This the sad reality that we all live in the bubble of life of others and so called “common society”. We don’t actually know what we want, and we always do what other people want of us. If we cannot meet expectation and live up to the standard like other people, that result in low self- esteem and lack of confidence in ourselves. No wonder many young people are getting depressed when they cannot adhere to this fast pace and competitive society. This is a very sad phenomenon especially for many Asian families. Speaking from personal experience I had encountered a very tragic story from my teenage life. My friend, David committed suicide in high school, due to the excessive pressure from family and relatives’ high hope and expectation on him. He was a very intelligent kid and always got A in his school reports, even though his passion was to be an artist, but his parents had already decided that he could only become a surgeon, that’s all. It was such a horrific tragic that a young boy who lost his life due to expectation of others.
On the other hand, if we all the same, the world never see the improvement that we have today. All the advancement in technology, science, medicine and engineering are due to the people who dared to think differently and innovate in their jobs. For example, for thousands of years, we, human used to think that the earth was the centre of the universe and the sun went around the earth, however merely about 500 years ago, those individual like Copernicus challenged this belief and suggested that sun is the centre of the universe and earth is orbiting the sun. This idea was harshly rejected by the society and the church, and he was condemned to death. His theory was proved to be true by Galileo, and even Galileo was challenged for proving this theory. This shows that our society are not willing to accept the difference and if you want to fit in you must not think differently
In addition, do not measure yourself with other people’s stick yards, as each stage of life and background is different. Just be yourself, do whatever you want in life, and don’t ever compare with others. In any stage in your life, no matter whatever age you are, you can become and do what you desire. You can even go back to school even if you are in sixty years of age, and there is no age limit in learning. For instance, a grandfather, Marugae from Kenya at the age of 74 years old had finally fulfilled his dream of finishing primary school. When the government promised free primary education for all the citizen, he registered and went back to school to learn to read and write, as he didn’t have opportunity to study when he was young. Even thought he was being challenged by society and community that school is not for old man, but he managed to tackle the obstacles and pursuit what he always wanted.
In summary, there is never too late to do whatever you want. We should not ever try to change ourselves in order to fit in the society, and should never be afraid to be different. As long as you just be yourself, it doesn’t matter that you are the same or different from others. Choose you path that your heart desire, in the end it is your life you live for. So why worry?. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Censorship, the prompt/s are - Censorship is to art as lynching is to justice ~ Henry Louis Gates and here is the essay: Censorship of the female body is widespread even in the 21st century. Censorship involves the suppression of information or photos in mainstream or social media, which may ‘offend’ or go against current societal values. By censoring the female body, we continue to perpetuate stigma around female issues such as menstruation and breast feeding. It is only through the removal of censorship, that we can help normalise female issues, and foster societal progression.
Even in the 21st century censorship of the female body is commonplace on social and traditional forms of media. Instagram, one of the most widely used social media platforms in the world, censors content by removing posts that feature female nipples. Male nipples, however, do not breach community guidelines, and are not removed, thus promoting inequality of the genders. Although Instagram aims to provide a ‘safe’ space for all viewers, by controlling and mitigating the spread of pornography, they ultimately remove all photos including nipples, thereby also hiding normal acts such as breastfeeding. Instagram has further to be shown to remove images showing period blood, reiterating their censorship of female issues. Considering that young women and men, are the largest audience of Instagram, this limited exposure of the female body and its function to the audience continues to uphold these issues as ‘taboo’. Censorship of the female body, therefore, hinders the acceptance to and normalisation of the female body, thereby slowing societal progression.
The censorship of the female body and its functions perpetuates the stigma surrounding issues such as menstruation and breastfeeding. In many third world
countries, period poverty is a pertinent issue, whereby menstruation is still largely stigmatised, resulting in high unattendance rates at school. This stigma is likely due to the limited exposure and information around menstruation, which is further perpetuated by the media censoring such issues. Similarly, many women feel ashamed breast feeding in public, with many women only doing it at home, despite it being a natural phenomenon. Both examples illustrate that stigma still exists in the 21st century around normal female body functions, and how censorship of these issues on media platforms, stifles awareness and can hinder progression of attitudes towards the female body.
In order to allow progression of attitudes, it is therefore necessary to increase exposure of female issues to the public, by removing censorship. Libra, in their most recent TV campaign, showed red period blood instead of the traditionally used blue dye in TV commercials. This campaign aimed to address the censorship of period blood on TV, conveying that it was a normal part of life. Although this ad was highly controversial, it succeeded in starting a much-needed conversation around why period blood is taboo. By promoting discourse and awareness around such issues this helps to normalise and progress attitudes towards taboo issues, allowing societal progression.
Censorship of female issues still exist today, which have facilitated in perpetuating stigma around these issues. However, through greater exposure on social and mainstream media, by removing this censorship, we can create discourse around and awareness of currently ‘taboo’ female issues. This helps to normalise the female body, and remove the stigma around female issues.. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is The Body and the Self, the prompt/s are - The woman's body is the terrain on which patriarchy is erected ~ Adrienne Rich and here is the essay: Traditionally the patriarchy has leveraged itself by controlling women’s bodies. The patriarchy does not only include the men in society, but also the societal structures built by men - government, law, medicine. The underlying patriarchy that exists in all these systems have been able to control women and their bodies to assert power. Despite this, women are resisting the patriarchal control by using their bodies. Both the free-the-nipple campaign and the natural birth movement have exemplified this, with their bodies empowering women and helping them resist the patriarchy.
The exposure of women’s bodies has been dictated by men throughout time. Whether women have been sexualised for the purpose of the male gaze or concealed due to conservatism in society and male disinhibition in the face of female of exposure, all has been controlled by men. This was recently seen by the rapper TI who disclosed that he annually checks his daughter’s hymen to test her virginity. Whilst not a common practice among the western World, it highlights the traditional belief that men are able to own and control the female body and limiting their sexuality. Similarly, the censorship of female nipples on social media platforms such as Instagram reiterates the idea that women’s bodies should be covered up and aren’t suitable for exposure to the community. This censorship makes women’s bodies seem shameful and taboo, reiterating the power that the patriarchy has over the exposure of women’s bodies. By controlling the female body, this has allowed the patriarchy and its values to exist.
Despite the patriarchal control over women’s bodies, an increasing number of women are using their body to empower themselves and resist the patriarchy. The free the
nipple campaign and march in NYC in 2019, where women walked the streets topless, shows how women are using their bodies to draw attention to the censorship and inequality existent in social media and in society. Through exposing their bodies, and subverting the status quo, they bolstered their cause and promoted widespread awareness. Similarly, the natural birth movement acts through a similar medium, whereby an increasing number of females have opted for a natural birth outside of the patriarchal structures of the hospital. Women of this movement opt for a more women- centred birth without interventions in order to take control of their own bodies during birth and empower themselves through resisting existing patriarchal structures. In the wake of the patriarchal resistance, women have been able to regain power and autonomy over their body by normalising and desexualising the female body.
The long-held control of the patriarchy over women’s bodies have helped sustained the existence of the patriarchy. However, the free the nipple campaign and the natural birth movement have highlighted the increasing subversion of the patriarchy, by using their own bodies. The use of the body has allowed many women to feel empowered, ultimately helping them free the constraints of the patriarchy.. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Education, the prompt/s are - It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it ~ Aristotle and here is the essay: Jean Piaget once said: " The goal of education is not to increase the amount of knowledge but to create the possibilities for a child to invent and discover, to create men who are capable of doing new things. " I believe that education is the foundation of growth and prosperity for any country. Employing a successful education system will produce generations capable of critical thinking, problem solving and having a vision for success and development.
In the past when I was student, the education system was relying mainly on huge amount of information without giving much attention to how you can put such knowledge in practice. It was easy to know every word in the book and write as much information as I can in the exam even if I don’t fully understand the concepts, this way I can achieve high grades which was good at that stage. The exams were not anywhere near assessing my understanding of the concepts or my ability to apply such concepts in real life. When I started my career, I realised how much that education system has disadvantaged me. I can find myself stuck with a problem at work that I cannot handle because I really do not understand how to apply what I have learned to solve that problem. I decided to work on myself to learn how to critically think, how to improve my problem-solving skills and how to apply knowledge in real life situations. It is hard and demanding process that requires will, time and dedication. It is not easy to fix the consequences of an unsuccessful education system.
If a successful education system is in place, you will see better outcomes in the students. Looking at my daughter’s education now, the school teaches her how to think of different ways to achieve results. For example, she can use five different methods for addition and understands each method. The five methods are knowledge but the difference with her education system is that she learns how and when to apply it. Once she came home so excited that part of her homework was to write about the five longest rivers in the world and compare between them. I thought that was a hard task for a kid her age to research and get information and compare between different things but she surprised me with the outcome. It was well-designed table with a lot of information that I had never heard about before. She was able to perform well in that task because the education system teaches her the basics of research skills and how to utilise that in researching any topic. Through my daughter’s progress, I can see the huge difference that a successful education system can have on students.
Although some people might say that the old education systems that relied mainly on knowledge developed so many great scientists, philosophers and litterateurs. I disagree with that opinion because most of those scientists, philosophers and litterateurs succeeded because they worked hard outside the educational system to improve their critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Albert Einstein who developed the theory of relativity and a Nobel prize winner was expelled from school because his teachers thought he was not a smart and developing very slowly. The education system was not able to discover his legacy because it was not focusing on the areas that might interest Einstein.
A good education system is the one that focus on developing new generations capable of making a difference in their lives and in their countries through critical thinking, research and problem-solving skills. Education is one of the most important pillars of a great nation.. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Dreams, the prompt/s are - Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity ~ Khalil Gibran and here is the essay: Dreams are the creator of our goals. We choose most of our goals in order to make our dreams come true. As Jesse Owens once explained that dreams need a lot of dedication and effort to come into reality. I agree that we need to be devoted to our dreams and do whatever it takes to achieve our goals and in turn, our dreams.
Dedication is key for achieving our dreams. If we want to reach our dreams, we need to be enthusiastic about it and sacrifice time to reach our dreams. Many children dream of being famous soccer players, but only a few get their dream into reality. Only those who spend a long time in training and who are full of enthusiasm can be successful and professional soccer players. Those who succeed in reaching their goals have a different mindset than others; they believe in their dreams and are willing to do anything in their capacity to become the persons they are dreaming of. They enjoy every minute spent towards reaching their dreams. Dedication is an essential factor for living our dreams.
Effort is another tool that we need if we are to get closer to our dreams. We can be dedicated to our dreams but we are not taking any steps to reach it. Effort is a major step towards our dreams. The effort can be in the form of planning, thoughts and creativity to achieve our dream. For example, if I want to build my dream house, I will need to put a plan to achieve the required budget for the building process and put this plan into action. I will need to think about every single detail in the design to fulfil my dream. I will need to think out of the box and be creative to overcome any obstacles I might face through the process. The process will not be easy; I will face many challenges but visualising my dream will give me the push I need to overcome any obstacles. I can then enjoy my house, the physical version of my dream. Effort is a major part of our action to reach our dreams.
We all value our dreams but we need to work towards achieving our dreams. To enjoy living our dreams, we need dedication and effort. Without effort and dedication, dreams will forever remain dreams.. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Crisis, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Our global population has seen an exponential growth of 6 billion people over the last 200 years. In this period , our world has become more interconnected, with educational, economic, social and political systems becoming more standardised. However, inequity perpetuated by these systems are realised, in one form, through observing the ever increasing population of homeless individuals and understanding the harsh reality of their lives. The crisis that is homelessness, degrades the quality of countless individual's lives globally, exposing the ingrained structural violence within our modern world.
The reasons for individuals becoming homeless are of varied, however these individuals' similar experiences of dehumanisation and regular struggle for basic survival reflect an ongoing humanitarian crisis. Individuals who are homeless, are significantly more likely to be exposed to physical health compromising conditions such as infectious diseases, nutritional complications and bone fractures alongside developing mental illnesses such as depression, insomnia and are at greater risk of sexual harassment. These stem from homeless individuals having a lack of shelter, lack of access to food and water and social support from other individuals. These are basic needs for any human, to have a roof over their heads and feel safe, to be able to eat nutritious, filling meals and to have regular, healthy interactions with other humans. When such basic survival needs are not met for all in a society, it only suggests of an insufficiency within the systems that govern such a society. As we can see, the quality of living for homeless individuals is far from acceptable, and far from humane, clearly calling for the crisis of homelessness to be adequately recognised and addressed.
The expansive population of homeless individuals and their experiences leading to homelessness, exposes the harm resultant from the inequality perpetuated by socio- political and economic systems, defining structural violence. The leading causes for individuals to become homeless are unemployment, poverty, lack of affordable housing, lack of access to adequate medical care and drug/alcohol abuse. More often than not, individuals who become homeless are affected by more than one of the aforementioned causes. Unfortunately, individuals' race, class and gender still have a tangible impact upon the level of care and attention they receive from these social systems. For instance, in hospitals in the United States, statistically it has been shown that African-Americans and Latinos are significantly less likely to receive immediate attention for necessary treatments, which eventually have carry on effects for their health and lifespan. Likewise, a lack of educational opportunities for children from low socioeconomic backgrounds further contribute to their likelihood of experiencing the aforementioned causes, which potentially lead to homelessness in later life. If all individuals in a society received the same social advantages that presently only a certain half do, then the resulting structural violence from present inequality would be significantly reduced, ensuring less individuals to lead a life homeless. Hence, it is recognised how structural violence embedded in social systems plays a large role in creating inequality in many aspects of people's lives, leading to many becoming homeless.
Overall, the socio-political and economic systems that govern societies of the world play a large role in shaping individual's lives - the opportunities, support and experiences they have. The experience of homeless is one that is immensely dehumanising and one of a low quality life, which should not have to be experienced by any human. Through recognising the systems that enable structural violence to put individuals into such situations, we can make steps towards a more just, egalitarian world.. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Money and Corruption, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: For many, money can be a blessing within our lives and equally if not more of a burden too; a burden upon our ethical state of mind. When considered in large scale sums, money not only has an individual impact, but also has the power to drastically change socio-political environments, stipulating change in society. Such influence and power, when placed in the hands of those whose morality and ethics may be challenged and inconsistent, can result in scenarios of corruption having carry-on effects upon the institutions that help foster peace and unity within our society. Thus, it is arguable that money plays a conflicting role in society, where corruption by those in power is a realistic outcome, and has a hand in driving identity politics.
Humans by nature are genetically geared towards survival. A reflection of such primitive instinct is human selfish need, in pursuit of one’s own wellbeing. When humans are even subtly conceptually exposed to money, whether it be in conversation or reading text involving money, Harvard psychology research (2013) suggests that humans shift to a cost-benefit analysis mindset, centred on individual benefit. It is hence understood, naturally humans view money as an almost direct factor in achieving their individual wellbeing. Thus, it not surprising that money is quick fire starter for conflict between humans, where both individual’s pursuit of wellbeing is at stake. Time and time again, history and literature has shown us of the powerful and corruptive nature of money over an individual. Many in order to achieve their well-being, sacrifice their sense of morality and ethics, and in many cases at the cost of others’ harmony and peace too. As such, money which we think of typically as assisting us in creating a more comfortable life for ourselves and others, can also be the very reason for discord between humans, deteriorating our human connections with one another. Thus, money is a conflicting force, which proves challenging to access and utilise to everyone’s benefit.
Such is the allure of money and the potential it carries for individual satisfaction, it can be abused by those with institutional power to fund and market their ideologies onto broader populations. White identity politics as promoted by the Trump administration is one such powerful message, that is inadvertently facilitated though corruptly acquired finances. White identity politics incorporates messages and ideas targeting select citizen audiences, whilst undermining others, effectively furthering division within society instead of fostering inclusivity, tolerating and appreciating diversity. It is counter human nature to promote such notions that do not promote and facilitate social harmony. As such, human greed for money and power, achieved through corrupt and unethical means, only has a debilitating effect upon all.
Ultimately, money is a challenging aspect of our lives that all individuals must approach, but abuse of money for corrupt intent not only deconstructs an individual’s set of morals and ethics, but also has the potential for drastic impact upon lives across broader society.. ###Response: 50-54 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Privacy, the prompt/s are - There is something worse than being ignored – not being ignored and here is the essay: Consumer privacy in Australia and the right to be ignored
Being known by corporations represents an unreasonable intrusion into our private lives and makes us vulnerable to powerful marketing and the impacts of data breaches. Australians have the benefit of strong privacy laws and regulatory oversight that could prevent corporations from dealing with our personal information in ways that we have not agreed to. We have, in one sense, the right to be ignored. Instead, many Australians hand over personal information freely, or exchange for small benefits. This may be because we are naïve about the ways that corporations collect personal information from us, or the way that this information can be used against us. Regardless, Australians can and should understand how this information is collected and used, and the inherent risks.
Australian companies collect personal information (information about an individual from which their identity is reasonably apparent) from customers and potential customers every day. Supermarket rewards schemes collect information about our preferred brands, average weekly spends, whether we have children, live alone, buy pet food. Free fertility tracking apps collect information about how often we have sex, how long it takes us to fall pregnant and whether we miscarry. Almost every interaction with a company involves some collection of personal information. To stay within the law, companies must collect personal information with consent. So, a corporation needs (1) for you to opt in to their collection or (2) agree contractually for your information to be used and disclosed. Since many consumers do not opt in, corporations often use online competitions, the promise of a discount or customer loyalty programs to gain consent for the collection and use of this information. The terms and conditions of these competitions provides the consent and bind the entrant.
For Australian consumers, the consequences of the collection and use of this information can be significant. Seemingly innocuous information like an email address can be combined with data from powerful technologies such as cookies and APIs. These technologies (which often do not require consent to be used in Australia, unlike other jurisdictions) track our web activity. (If you’ve ever looked at a pair of shoes and had them follow you on targeted advertising for weeks, that’s the technology doing its job.) The combination of personal information and information from cookies and APIs allows corporations to know us, to build a profile about our likes and dislikes, our relationship status, friends and whether we have children or pets. The information we disclose is then combined with data about our browsing history to leverage powerful and effective marketing tools that drive consumer spending by constantly reinforcing our desires for products, perfectly targeted to our age and life stage. In a recent US example, data from a free fertility tracking app was provided to Facebook to target ads for products and services depending on the timing of a women’s menstrual cycles.
The large amounts of personal information collected by Australian companies also poses security risks to Australians when it is sold to third parties. Consent to disclose this information is usually given as the term of a contract. As a result, information we are handing to corporations free of charge becomes an asset to them that can be bought and sold for profit. Where these third-party purchasers are overseas they are mostly outside of the reach of Australian privacy law. Consumer’s ability to take action against overseas companies for data breaches is almost non-existent. This leaves Australian consumers vulnerable to data breaches with no legal recourse.
It is clear that something needs to change. We know that overwhelmingly, Australians are concerned about their privacy. This is clear from the many millions of Australians have not downloaded the potentially life-saving COVIDSAFE app due to fears of government surveillance. However, there is a serious disconnect between our desire for privacy and our willingness to agree to legal collection and disclosure of our personal information. To overcome the disconnect, and ensure that Australians’ privacy is protected, we must increase education about the way personal information is collected and used by Australian companies. Australians that corporations do not offer us seemingly endless chances to win, join their exclusive club or receive discounts simply because they are nice and because we deserve it, they do it to collect our personal information. Overwhelmingly we must take personal responsibility for our online decisions and understand that, if something is being offered for free, being known probably the price that we will pay.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Censorship, the prompt/s are - The first condition of progress is the removal of censorship ~ George Bernard Shaw and here is the essay: Censorship underpins society, removing it means chaos.
Far from being the prerequisite to progress, removal of censorship would fundamentally destroy society as we know it. Censorship involves submitting, to some greater authority. Taking power away from individuals and putting it in the hands of others. Of course, some forms of censorship, like silencing minorities, impedes societal progress. However, the notion that removal of all forms of censorship is necessary for progress if fundamentally flawed.
Underpinning much of the progress of the human race in modern times has been the ability to organise, to function not as individuals with unlimited freedom, but to exist as groups, tribes, families, schools, nations and alliances. These structures, which have allowed for sharing of knowledge and resources for some greater good are not possible without some form of censorship. After all, families, nations, alliances cannot function if each member is allowed to submit to their own free will. They all involve some concept of giving up freedoms and power in exchange for the protection of the group.
When we as humans, submit to organised groups, we are submitting to censorship and often this is the judgment of our actions against the morals and values of society. Whether this is simply agreed rules of the family, “no TV on weekdays but you can play computer games after you have done your homework”, to laws that dictate harsh punishments when a person is killed. Morality is often a key element of the rules or laws that are made. This is evident in the different crimes established for parliament for murder and manslaughter. In both cases a person has died, but the killer’s intention is judged to be relevant to the punishment they should receive. Our institutions have prejudged on type of killing (murder) as something that is so wrong that the killer can be immediately denied their right to be part society for their lifetime.
Institutions like governments and courts provide the necessary preconditions for progress. They take fundamental judgments, like what is right and wrong out of the hands of individuals, and punish those who do not abide by their laws and rulings. Without this higher authority, it would not be possible for the human race to progress as it has. It would not be possible for large groups of people to focus on things that allow for progress, like education and scientific advancements. It would not be possible to
eradicate disease by vaccinating a majority of individuals, contain pandemics by imposing strict physical distancing. Rather than being the first step to progress, removing censorship would undo much of the progress made by the human race. We should not seek to remove censorship, rather to ensure it applied by institutions that use their power to ensure progress.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Human Rights, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Globally human rights are being exploited. Over the past few decades the global community has witnessed a shift in how society is upholding the rights of all humans. This shift toward violation of human rights has created a loop whole for governments and organisations. Allowing them to exploit the very nature of the Human Rights Act. Surprisingly some organisations being aid providing organisations. In this essay the three main areas significantly impacted by the shift in perception of Human Rights will be explored. With power comes anonymity, and how the violation on human rights was once praised but is now more than ever being abused.
Fortunately for the governments and various organisations in the world, with power comes anonymity. The direct repercussions of violating human rights does not seem to effect or impact them. Are they being enabled by being allowed to continue this way? When G. W. Bush declared the “war on terror” in 2011 he set out to enforce change and defeat people that had violated the human rights act, this was September 11. This act enabled Bush to infiltrate Iraq and enforce American Law within this foreign country. CIA and US Army personnel committed a series of human rights violations against detainees in the Abu Ghraib Prison, including physical and sexual abuse and murder. Becoming public through release of photographs from the prison. The Bush administration covered this up, stating they were isolated incidents and not indicative of the US policy. Regardless this continued, then 10 years later, a number of US soldiers and CIA personnel went to jail and the Bush administration apologised. Such abhorrent acts continue today in countries across the world.
Closer to home the treatment of immigrates into Australia has been questioned by humanitarian organisations. Australia has very strict policies around the rights of its nationals and immigrates into the country, however that has not always been reflected in the way detainees have been treated.
Recent stories of detainees, previously held on Christmas Island, describing physical and mental abuse from guards one detainee being starved for a week, for no apparent reason. Why does there need to be a reason in the first place?
These are not dissimilar situations in nature. While being worlds apart in geography as well as severity of the acts themselves, they still fundamentally violate the rights of other humans. Regardless of the human rights act and government and organisational policy, there remains the individuals that are a power to themselves and will act as they wish, unfortunately some wish to inflict pain and suffering unto others.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Conformity, the prompt/s are - Anybody who is any good is different from anybody else ~ Felix Frankfurter and here is the essay: Growing up in the land of the free, I have never really understood the imposition of conformity until travel and media watch on Eastern countries during recent years has highlighted many opinions, not all bad of the conformity that these populations face.
Growing up in a country that is known as ‘The land of the free’, societal conformity is self-imposed. As Australians we take pride in our freedoms, freedoms of speech etc. It is well known that this is not the case in cultures globally. Focusing specifically on Eastern cultures, they are dominated with conformist government and leaders. Interestingly, the conformity in these cultures while as an outsider looking in, may see ridged and stuffy, with subjects facing constant societal pressures, there are positive perspectives. This essay will explore impacts of Eastern conformist cultures, highlighting the ultimate effects on the human spirit.
Imagine if you were a child, growing up in a conformist society, understanding that conforming is the norm, how does this effect you long term? This is the story for millions of children that grew up in the early 1900’s in Japan. Born into pressures of society that social conditioning and dictating behaviour was the fate of the society. This was seen post-war era in Japan when a distinction between a person’s true feelings and desires, known as ‘honne’ were allowed only to be shown at home and ‘tatemae’ the behaviour and opinions ones displayed in public were distinctly different. More recent times have seen rates of suicides in Japan higher than other countries in the world. The high rates have been found to be due to pressures on young people to maintain certain positions within communities and failing this the shame felt can only be eliminated through suicide. Japan is not the only culture that faces a conformist society and will not be the last, however it is important to mention that in certain times there are benefits to this type of government.
There is no doubt that conforming leads to a loss of originality however, to confirm might be an easier option. This is encapsulated by Charles Dudley Warner saying, “We are half ruined by conformity, but we should be wholly ruined without it”. Are we seeing less wars and less violence in the Eastern cultures, such as Japan and China, due to the conformist approach to government?
During recent times of the Coronavirus Pandemic across the globe, within 12 hours the whole of a city in China was shutdown. Surprising all nations across the globe, China built a hospital in 10 days, to support the healthcare system amidst collapse. These government responses were only possible due to conformity of the society at large. A society that unlike the Australian society has limited freedom of speech and free will.
There is no right or wrong answer to what is best for individual cultures and countries when it comes to types of government, however as an Australian citizen I consider myself lucky. As individuals we face pressures, societal challenges etc. though we also have a choice, how lucky Australians are to have a non-conformist lifestyle. Reflecting in this essay specifically on Eastern cultures, the bad and good points of conformity and how cultures live with it.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Censorship, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Censorship affects our life in many different ways. The issue of weather censorship is important is quite controversial and is frequently debated. On one hand, some people believe that existence of censorship allows for protection and security especially for young children as there is inappropriate content everywhere, including items that slip through parental filters and kid-friendly apps, that could lead to harmful encounters in the future. On the other hand, the notion violates the first amendment of freedom of speech. This concept of censorship is believed to clash the idea of democracy with dictatorship. On this consideration however, I still believe that the existence of censorship is a necessary for a nation to progress.
Firstly, Mae West once quipped, “right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore”. In essence, he is right in highlighting that censorship on the media and internet is a critical issue to be looked on. This is because censoring extreme violent material is beneficial, particularly among children. With the access to all sorts of inappropriate content made easier these days, younger generations can easily fall prey to this sort of content. Thus, censorship would allow them to use the web or watch TV without parents worrying about their minds being corrupted. Furthermore, this notion also limits harmful advertisements. For example, product or service advertisements that are harmful to a person’s health should be censored or limited. This will help prevent epidemics, such as alcohol addiction and obesity, which are increasingly becoming a concern for the population. Hence, censorship allows safety and security to be there for an individual.
Secondly, some may argue that censorship clashes idea of democracy with dictatorship by violating the freedom of speech. They believe that media censorship can infringe on this basic right of the people. What would be the point of your right to speak when there is nobody listening to what you are talking about? Even though this is true to an extent, the advantage of censorship reducing hate speech still outweighs the former. This is because the idea that all speech is equal is false. There are inappropriate words people use to show their power or to shut down the minority. For instance, negative perceptions like this was exemplified when Prince Harry made use of common noun “Paki” to refer to a fellow officer cadet of Pakistani background. It took over a century for minorities and women to gain a semblance of equal rights because of the presence of hate speech. Censorship gives us the opportunity to stop this hate before it can get started again. We already live within the confines of education, family, entertainment and more. This limiting process creates more opportunities for equality.
Continuously, preventing plagiarism and IP theft gives us the foundation of an economy. If your work doesn’t receive some level of protection, then it can be stolen by someone who can put it together cheaper than you. Small businesses get to stay competitive because of the acceptable elements of censorship that we maintain in society.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Dreams, the prompt/s are - Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity ~ Kahlil Gibran and here is the essay: “We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort,” was once quoted by Jesse Owens. Essentially, Owens suggests that hard work is the key to turning any dream into reality. This can be considered true and is seen throughout every stage of life. Firstly, we see this in infants, who must work hard at achieving key milestones in development. Secondly, in adolescents, who are often driven to a certain dream in life which requires dedication and determination to achieve. Finally, in adulthood, self-discipline and determination are important as success in our careers is not given but earned through hard work.
Firstly, hard work is already at play in infants, allowing them to turn their dreams of reaching milestones into reality. Achieving life’s milestones is a vital part of development -learning how to hold a cup or take your first steps is not as simple as trying once and succeeding. Some may say that achieving these goals can be attributed to brain maturation through development, however it is likely primarily a result of commitment and determination to these tasks. Consequently, tasks that were only dreams to these children have the ability to become reality through hard work and determination.
Secondly, as teens we are often driven to a certain goal which requires dedication and effort. Dreams such as achieving a certain test score or making a sporting team are things that we must work at to reach - these are not merely things that are handed to us without any effort. It is through dedication and hard work that we can achieve these dreams. As a result, we see that in order to turn these dreams into a reality, we must remain dedicated and disciplined.
Finally, success in our career is often characterized by promotions, which are not something that is easily given but rather something that is earned through dedication and hard work. Many individuals dream of moving up the so-called “food chain” of a company’s hierarchy, however this is something that is earned through hard work and determination. Improving your skills and displaying dedication to the company are vital factors in turning those dreams into a reality. Therefore, hard work is required throughout our careers in order to reach a certain level and turn our dreams of success into reality.
As a result, Owens was correct in suggesting that many of life’s dreams require hard work and dedication in order to turn them into reality. This is seen in infants, who work hard at reaching certain milestones and progressing in life. Additionally, discipline and determination and vital factors in helping adolescents reach certain dreams and goals in life – whether academic or extracurricular. Finally, turning dreams within our careers into reality relies heavily on hard work and effort, which play a key role in success.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Democracy, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Throughout history, forms of government have evolved as relations between the state and the individual have solidified into a co-dependence. Its rich history, evolving from monarchies and aristocracies makes it an often admired human creation. Yet although democracy ensures an equal number of contributions from individuals and is therefore seemingly fair, its effectiveness in theory does not match its practicality. This essay argues that democracy is the best form of government, but that it has been more effective in theory than practice. More needs to be done to maximise democracy’s potential in creating a fair society.
Thomas Hobbes proposed that an individual authority would be the best form of government, but he neglected that a sovereign might not have the interests of all at heart. For example, King Louis XIV overreacheed in foreign affairs, fought too many expensive wars and led France into demise. As time went on, a representative democracy evolved, and eventually Abraham Lincolm proclaims democracy is a government “of the people, by the people, for the people”. The people of a state form the glue that holds the state together, and so their interests must be represented and prioritised. Freedom of speech is encouraged, and each political decision was made collaboratively. On another note, modern society has benefited from the democratic process, as people can vote online for politicians to represent their values. The average person does not have to invest time voting on every single bill – they elect members of parliament they trust.
Although appealing in theory, it is quite evident that democracy falls short on many levels. First of all, the average person does not have enough time to have a profound role in the government. The world is changing quickly, and it is hard to keep up. More importantly, not everyone gets an equal say! In the United States, gerrymandering has been a devastating problem that has led to long-term discrimination against African American minorities. In many states that would have had a democratic majority, state lines were redrawn so that a Republican majority would result. In many ways, this is an example of a corrupt “representative democracy”. Furthermore, one’s political views is often muddled by misinformation. Fake news and social media often misrepresent candidates and parties, leading to unfair ignorance. In politics, ignorance, not stupidity, is a handicap facilitated by poor environments manipulated by those with higher power. Politicians say one thing then do another. For example, Trump promised more blue collar jobs for Americans, but never followed through with this.
How then can we make Democracy more effective in practice? Something that is missing is equal representation. For a long time, women and minorities were not allowed to vote.
Uproar from this discrimination led to a reform. Today, less than 10% of politicians in Australian Parliament are Indigenous. A significant majority of members of Parliament are old white men, who have no chance of empathising and representing the interests of the culturally diverse populations of young Australians. Why do we have the same two parties in power? Why is there not recognition for grassroots demographics? The truth is, the media often misrepresents people in power. For example, Scott Morrison was (eventually) praised for his reactions to the bushfires and coronavirus epidemic, but his ideas of enlisting the military for the bushfires, and compensating small businesses and workers were all of Anthony Albanese’s work (Labor). This is in part due to politically driven news companies.
For example, Rupert Murdoch is a media mogul who controls a significant amount of the media landscape. There ought to be stricter laws around truth, and more education about how truth can be warped to skew political beliefs. Ultimately, Citizens must create uproar about such misrepresentation in order for democracy to be effective.
The importance of democracy is broader than just having politicians represent citizens. In recent times, there has been unequal, discriminatory voting that has shaken democracy’s core principles. Politicians who not only misrepresent their voters’ values, but also disrespect the process of democracy must be reprimanded. Equal representation and stricter laws around media and therefore truth will re-establish democracy as a productive form of government.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Culture and Identity, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: “My son ordered the beef, not the chicken!”, my mother yelled at this poor waitress. She had probably just finished University, working because she had to pay rent, and now facing the wrath of my Tiger Mum. From observing a lot of these incidents, I learned empathy from a young age. I observed how others would react to my mother losing her cool, and understood how to react henceforth. One’s self is determined by a balance of nature and nurture. This essay defines nature in the context of family, and nurture as an environment external to family. Non-familial experiences in life challenge and redefine one’s familial values, ultimately resulting in a unique mixture of both.
My parents have worked 70 hour weeks for the past 30 years of my life. I barely see them enough to call them my parents. When I had more time in early High School, I would finish my homework and set dinner up for them after a hard day’s work. I knew how to show them the gratitude and respect they deserved for their immense perseverance. This sort of appreciation for work has been instilled by their poise. Never complaining, they would go on about their lives. As if the stresses of my year 7 Maths test could amount to theirs. My admiration for persevering through hard times has stemmed from these experiences. I stop at nothing if I want something, just like my parents. Unlike both of them though, I am an ambivert. My father is a shy, quiet man, whereas my mother is full of energy and loves social situations. I have found that throughout my adult life, I like a quiet night in as much as going out to celebrate – they both have their place and time. Furthermore, some traits have been taken from a single parent. For example, my father is a rational man who thinks things deeply, whereas my mother is easily driven by emotions and sometimes acts erratically. Although I find myself being stubborn and losing a grip on emotions sometimes, I definitely strive to be as rational and calm as possible like my father. From reflecting on these experiences, I understand I take bits of “nature” from both parents.
As an Asian minority going to a primarily Anglo-white high school, I started to notiice a lot of different things. Every Saturday sport, I would be dropped off to play and my father would sit in the car and wait. He would never come out and watch – it was more of a duty than anything else. Meanwhile, the sideline would be packed with parents watching their children. I was jealous of my friends of their seemingly more wholesome families. Such a minor display of love got to me, even to a point of fantasy. Watching That 70s Show, the scene where Red takes in Steven and showed him love touched me. Reflecting on these experiences, I knew that I would act differently if I were to ever have kids. I would rather focus on a work-life balance conducive to closer family relationships.
Pondering these experiences, I often realise that there is a harmonious balance between nature and nurture. Indeed, digesting all of these close family experiences and non-familial interactions has left me questioning my identity a myriad times. Yet I am enormously thankful for all experiences, as I have figured where I stand. From my parents’ traits, I am a determined, perseverant and rational person. But I’m also non-materialistic. A very traditional Chinese version of love is to monetarily provide for their young. For me at least, there was little sentiment about caring for one’s feelings and mental health. Going through hardships without my familiy’s support or recognition often left me feeling distraught. As such, today I am proudly the Vice-President of the Mental Health society at Sydney University. I have used that energy in a positive way to raise awareness and strive to understand how mental health issues can be alleviated and potentially resolved. In this way, my “Westernised” version of love and care, as a result of my multicultural upbringing, has resulted in a self mixed with nature and nurture.
Values from one’s parents are immediately instilled in one’s core nature from a young age. They reappear throughout life as they are challenged by new values one is exposed to through interactions with multiple cultures and people. By reflecting on these experiences, both familial and non-familial, one’s identity is made unique and special. For me, my identity has allowed me to distinguish values I admire and values I strive to change for the better.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Politics and Sport, the prompt/s are - You are not being paid to voice your opinion and here is the essay: "You are not being paid to voice your opinion". In a climate where people are more aware of politics, news and world issues in society, this is a sentiment that has recently echoed throughout the sporting world. It begs an interesting question. Should athletes in sports refrain from voicing their opinions or beliefs on issues outside of their profession? The answer should be a resounding 'no'. Censorship in the sporting landscape is both damaging for the sport itself and for its players.
Historically sport has always been politically charged. It is rife with actions generating discourse, protest and notable figures expressing their opinions. This is important for the sport as it adds depth. What makes sport engaging and draws attention is everything besides the actually playing of the sport. All the background noise helps advance the sport further by creating discussion and maintaining interest. Consider Colin Kaepernick kneeling during the American national anthem as an act of protest agaisnt the murder of black people by police. The worldwide interest and intrigue in such a strong political gesture is only beneficial for the sport. Further to this, it serves to highlight the systemic issues within the sport itself. In this specific case, the disparity in ideology within the NFL with the majority owners being white calling for censorship of Kaepernick, whilst the majority of black players kneeling in solidarity. Censorship of sport does nothing to advance the sport.
Additionally we can build upon this notion by considering a similar effect for the players themselves. Elite athletes of sport have dedicated their lives for their passion. They represent the top echelon of skill for their sport. Most importantly, elites athletes are role models and heroes for followers of their sport. But it is not simply their prowess in their sport that garners such a following. People are drawn to their personalities. People look up to people they can identify with. Personality can only be communicated through expression. Any paradigm that reduces an athlete to a hyper skilled robot devoid of personality is a disservice for the sacrifice and dedication they have made towards the sport. Players should be able to express themselves in any manner they wish considering what they have given to the sport. Imagine a world where Cathy Freeman's iconic gold medal run was absent her Aboriginal flag. Would we or Aboriginal Australia cherish that memory the same way?
What ignites our passion for sport and keeps our interest is the reverence we have for the elite and the ongoing dialogue within the sport. To censor any aspect of this, presents a concerning direction that some sports make take. It is in the best interests of sports to avoid this and perhaps consider that, whilst we pay for athletes for their ability, that ability comes not without a mind that enabled it.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Raising a child, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: “It takes a village to raise a child” is a phrase that embodied parenting of the past. Historically parents were allowed some leniency if they weren’t constantly supervising or monitoring their child. Responsibility of a child’s upbringing fell upon everyone in the community, rather than only the mother and father. Recently, modern times have perpetuated the notion that parents should shape their child into the particular kind of adult they desire them to be. It is believed that parents are inherently responsible for the success of their child, the type of adult they become and their worth as an individual. Unfortunately, vicariously living through your child or pigeonholing them, is not conducive to producing a healthy well-rounded adult. All-around development should be the focus of modern parenting rather than success.
Valuing a human’s hunger for creativity, exploration and autonomy has never been viewed as a negative. A child should be no different. Limiting their exposure to varied experiences and different environments unless it aids in their success, restricts their growth. Creating an environment that encourages autonomy, creativity and play time allows your child to flourish. Even for adult employees, Pixar studios, provides playhouses for all their staff for this very reason. Despite being a business that needs to meet deadlines and is required to produce results, Pixar recognizes that employee development is imperative to success. The unyielding fixation on dictating to children the significance of success stunts their ability to grow.
To further explore the weight of success in the upbringing of a child, the focus can be shifted to education. It is not uncommon for parents to push for academic excellence in a child’s schooling. Whilst seen as beneficial to the child, the tunnel vision of producing good grades comes at a cost. Recent studies into the phenomenon of hyper vigilant ‘Tiger mums’ indicate children experienced significantly worse self-image and self-worth views. They also felt less fulfillment and satisfaction and held a conflicted view of their parents. The harsh reality is that academic success outweighs the value of mental health for these parents and ultimately harms the upbringing of these kids.
In contrast, certain avenues require and demand that success is produced at an early age. Most Olympians have practiced their craft after being introduced it from a very early age. In an arena that demands the pinnacle of human athleticism, these Olympians often have thousands of hours of experience. Potentially, the parents of these Olympians, undoubtedly steered their child into this path. It could even be proposed they shaped them into what they are. However, this would completely undermine the immense amount of intrinsic passion and dedication required to reach that level. A more fair statement would be that their parents provided an enriching environment to enable them to reach that level.
Whilst we can value the importance of success in a child’s upbringing, it should not be the focus. Providing a positive environment for children allows them to recognize their own measures of success and for them to grow.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Education, the prompt/s are - The belief that all genuine education comes about through experience does not mean that all experiences are genuinely or equally educative ~ John Dewey and here is the essay: Education is Our Hope.
What do you think education is? How do you think you can educate people? Throughout history, education has been main focus in the society as it can be conducive to societal progress by nurturing numerous people. Education can come about through various channels such as schooling, pass-on stories and experiences. In this essay, I will explore how experience can educate people and benfit them.
As a social being, people always go through many different experiences in their daily lives. Even when they stay home and do nothing but sleeping, they would realise that taking a rest is helpful to their health. This means that everyday, people grow from their experiences as they get to know new things or learn some leassons from their failure. Some experiences,however, could be negative, resulting in a sense of failure or even causing some bad influences to people’s confidence. Imagine you received that you were again unsuccessful to get into a university after five atempts. Your self-esteem would fall drastically and you could lose any interests in trying. This accumulated failure, though, let you know your weak or strong points and how to deal with your stress and adversities.
Even this kind of negative experiences give you opporunities to grow. This education through personal experiences could bring about societal progress. For instance, Steve Jobs experiences landline phone’s inconvenience when he came up with the inovative idea of mobile phone. Through several failure and some lessons from them, he was able to establish now world renowned mobile company, Apple. Another example to produce social growth through experiences is Nelson Mandela. He established equality between the black and the white in South Africa when he learned that everyone was equal regardless of their skin colour. These instances clearly shows that learning from experinces can be helpful in community progression.
It is truism that education is our hope. It becomes truism because it is too obvious. It is also certain that education through our own experiences can be beneficail as they can provide us to grow and contribute to our society as well.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Clothing, the prompt/s are - Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society ~ Mark Twain and here is the essay: Who Wants to Respect Others?
Let us browse through my closet and yours. Do you have favourite dressess, pants or t-shirts? Are they expensive or just comfortable to wear? We buy clothes very often, sometimes very expensive and beautiful but uncomfortable and sometimes very reasonably priced, still beautiful and comfortable. In this essay, I will explore how clothing can affect our lives.
We have been taught to wear proper attires. When you go to school, you have to wear school uniforms and beautiful dresses when you are heading to clubs. Wearing proper dresses means you respect people in the same place. On the contrary, we have never been taught to wear expensive ones. That is because wearing designers’ attire does not guarantee you have manners to repect other people. Respecting other people sprouts from respect toward ourselves.
When I was little, I always envied my friends who could afford very expensive clothes. This envy affected my self-esteem as well and blamed my parents who were not rich enough to buy the same clothes. When I complained about not buying good dresses, they suggested me
to give me petty allowances whenever I helped them and save up to buy the dresses. After several months of helping and being impatient, I could not forget the moment I bought the dress. I felt like I was one of the beautiful princess and there was nothing that I could not do. But it did not take long until I felt same as average and normal and started to get jealousy toward other expensive clothes. Then I realised that it was not the expensive dress that I wantnted to have but the confidence my friend had and also it was not the poverty but my vanity which lowered my self-confidence.
Even billionares or famous tennis players go to Kmart or Target to buy cheap clothes. We need to remember what is important is not what we wear but how we respect others by wearing proper attires.. ###Response: 55-59 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Crime, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: "The victims of crime have a right to see criminals made to pay for their crimes.”
The issue of criminals and how they should be punished after committing a serious crime is one of much controversy. Victims of crime, such as families who have lost loved ones due to senseless acts of violence have the right to demand justice on behalf of those who they have been robbed.
However, there should be a reasonable limit of how we punish individuals. Punishments such as capital punishment as far too severe, and devoid of reformative success. Individuals who break the law must be held accountable and justice should be sought for such victims, however they should be constructive, evidenced-based methods that provide education, reform and give the best chance at reintegration back into society.
In order for a victim of crime to ever accept and heal from the violations that have been inflicted upon them, justice must be sought. Justice can come about in a variety of ways, but the most common avenue is being punished a court of law. When crimes such as murder, rape, theft are committed, the victim loses peace of mind and gains fear, worry and anxiety. Incarcerating such criminals protects society from individuals committing immoral acts and seeing the perpetrator punished may ease the pain that the victim may have suffered.
Some countries around the world, particularly the US, deem certain crimes to be worthy of capital punishment. However, taking the life of another individual is wrong and contradictory of the fairness and peace that the justice system aims to restore. “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”, a famous quote which encompasses the reality of seeking revenge, doesn’t necessarily provide a suitable outcome. It has been said that two wrongs do not make a right, and sentencing another human being to death does not better educate society.
Punishment by death eliminates the chances to rehabilitate the individual and allow them to lead a life that is righteous and good. Evidence-based methods show that it is possible to change the mindset of criminals by approaching them with education and warmth, leading to a better society. Taking the opportunity to change their ways may not always work, but it is worth a try. Humans are a product of their environments and the difference between choosing to commit good or evil acts are the way we have navigated life.
Overall, the only way to live harmoniously among our society is to promote good acts and hold those accountable when they commit bad acts. However, human beings are imperfect and make mistakes in life and instead of prematurely ending their lives, we must make them pay in a way that benefits society and encourages them to live a life with meaning and purpose, this is truly the best way to pay society back.. ###Response: 60-64 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Human Nature, the prompt/s are - It does not take much to reveal the primitive and animal side of human nature. and here is the essay: The issue of whether values of kindness and generosity are instilled in all human beings is one of much debate. When individuals display acts of love and kindness, it restores faith in humanity and shows that some individuals act with pure intentions. However, I have no hesitation in admitting that we cannot truly rely on each and everybody’s acts of kindness. This can be dangerous as some individuals are inclined to take advantage of those who are vulnerable and weak, such as children or the elderly. As a society, we must resist tarring all individuals with the same brush but must also be wary of those who may have misguided intentions.
Displaying acts of selflessness and generosity within society can restore faith in the hearts of individuals who uphold them. Exemplified by the communities who sought to provide food, comfort and warmth during the Grenfell Tower disaster, these individuals chose to dedicate their time and money into protecting the victims of the tragedy. These acts of purity rippled throughout the community very quickly and united masses people in the darkest of times.
However, unfortunately there are individuals in the world who use kindness and generosity and tools of which to prey onto the most vulnerable of society. With growing use of social media, the exposure has caused its consumers of its platforms to become increasingly younger in age.
Applications such as Snapchat have been used by predators to groom underage children. These individuals use generosity to lure victims into their arms, taking advantage of their naivety. This is important to be aware of as “Don’t judge a book by its cover” a quote which describes things not being as they first seem- comes into play.
As a collective, we must treat every individual with equal love and kindness, but take great care to stay vigilant about the individuals who seek to cause harm with their ulterior motives. The answer is not to treat the misguided with abuse or violence, but to seek to educate them about their intentions and reform their abusive behaviours. It is very rare that berating those who have criminal intentions acts to change their ways.
In order for there to be great social progression, there must be education. Individuals, particularly the vulnerable must be educated about the dangerous situations that they might come across.
Additionally, those who have committed to a predatory lifestyle must be brought to justice and educated in order to counteract the negative life experiences that have shaped them into such individuals. Given love and kindness, human beings can excel and shape the world into things beyond any stretch of imagination.. ###Response: 60-64 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Nationalism, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: The world is a diverse place. There are people of different complexion, different height, different culture, you name a difference, there is a nation to represent that difference in the world. Yet in all these complexities of humankind, one prominent feature has always stood above all else, it is tribalism. In modern day it is translated to nationalism. I believe nationalism/tribalism has nothing good to offer the world. It brings destruction of mankind, bigotry ect. The world can certainly do well without the tribalistic devil’s clutch.
Most prominently, tribalism causes mass destruction of people. Tribalism is a cancer in the hearts of people. Who are mislead to believe they are somehow superior than everyone else. As a result these people see others as spares and treat them horribly. This was the case in NAZI Germany. Their belief in superiority of German people above all else lead them to kill Jews people mercilessly without any remorse. Not only killing but torture, imprisonment, even inhumane experiment on people was all done in the name of superiority. Their tribalism - their nationalism had turned a nation of people into irrational creatures. The result – a whole world burned in the destruction which followed, the world war 2. Therefore, tribalism can cause destruction of nations and people all across the world.
However, some people may argue that nationalism can give people pride, which helps the nation in progression. I completely disagree. The Christ church attack was done in the name of nationalism. This terrorist attack had taken the life of 53 innocent people and shook New Zealand to its core. The Australian national who carried out the terror attack had live streamed the video as if a video game and had claimed that he didn’t feel any remorse killing foreigners. “death to immigrants” was being screamed out through his actions. His nationalism (tribalism of white-nationalist views) had made him complacent with taking the lives of many human beings. Yet he didn’t stop at the atrocious act, he felt as if it was his duty to live broadcast of such behaviour to let the immigrants of the west know that no one is safe. To express that the bigotry can reach anyone anywhere, which it did. The racist attacks and mosque attacks had increased hundred-fold since the terror attack. So, nationalism had given this man pride, yes. It also gave him the idea of killing innocent people instead of promoting Australian slogan of “equality and acceptance to all”. Thus, tribalism doesn’t progress a nation but it regresses its values.
Similarly, it can be said that without nationalism, world becomes more accepting of others. In the wake of the gruelling terror attack at Christ church, the whole nation of New Zealand came to a halt. The muslim call to prayer (adhan) was broadcasted across New Zealand in TV and radios. Moreover, people flocked at the attack site to show their solidarity with the muslim people. The government paid for the funeral for all those passed away and helped them received citizenship of New Zealand. What we see here are the fruits of a nation coming together when there is a absence of tribalism.
People who were affected were finally able to call New Zealand home (most effected in attack were refuges). Moreover, people wanted to learn about the Islamic religion and were open hearted to welcome the minorities with open arms. So, with the absence of nationalism people are able to act humanly. More acceptance of diversity and equality had been shown through their actions.
Therefore, In the absence of tribalism a nation can flourish and enrich its culture by accepting people of another ethnicity.
In summary, tribalism exists in the world. Wherever it is given a chance to take root in the hearts of people it causes death and destruction. It, as seem from above discussion, has nothing good to offer. On the other hand, when there is no tribalism, the people of different ethnicity can come together as a community. More than that, people become accepting and learn to care for each other. Hench, without a doubt, Tribalism is a cancer which should be eradicated from earth. Paul said it best when he said, tribalism is the most powerful force on earth. Yes, its powerful and yes certainly, you thought right, its also the most destructive force.. ###Response: 60-64 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Love, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Love is in the heart of the Lover:
The storm outside crackling down lighting. Windy and heavy rain, making the whole day a gloomy melancholic day. Just as well, because her heart isn’t fairing any better. The storm between her and her husband from last night is still fresh in her mind. The baby is crying! Rushes in like the righteous wind into her child’s room scoops her up in her arms, “oh little Jean don’t cry mummy is here” and Jean vomits all over her clothes. Her husband with the demeanour of absolute steadiness, takes Jean off her arms, and shoots the baby to calm. She is trying to wipe off the vomit, as she turns, “Happy 3rd anniversary darling, I think we can do better” He is holding a rose in his hand. How can he still love me with vomit all over me? Just then she notices, the storm outside has stopped and the sun is smiling through her window!
Love, a mysterious force. There is no simple explanation to love nor there any one definition to it. Love is a seed that is planted when two people are attracted to each other. As is in the case above. The couple has fallen in love and the result is their marriage. So, love is a strong emotion, it makes us make life-changing decision. They have decided to leave behind their carefree lifestyle to settle down instead. So, in a sense love bring maturity in us. It teaches us to care for others over ourselves. Maria (the wife) had dashed across the room to her daughter’s room as soon as Jean started crying, she forgot all of her problem of the previous night when she saw Jean crying. So, she is putting baby Jean first before her own problems. Not only that, Jame (the husband) has also rushed to the room to help Maria because she was destressed with the baby, he similarly had seemingly forgotten about the issues they had previously. Hence, we see how love makes a person care more about others then themselves. So, to reflect back to the event love certainly brings maturity in a person.
Maturity has many aspect, not only being caring but also to accept ones mistakes. As it happens, love teaches a person to accept their mistakes and to admit them. In a healthy relationship, couples will have argument, no doubt about that. It is curious to see that, in most cases those arguments are resolved when one of them realises their mistakes and admits it. Moreover, when one of them admits to their mistakes, the other jumps to look past the issue and reassures their love to each other. Just as Jame did for Maria, regardless of their fight, he was willing to look past it and wanted to reassure his love to her. Similarly, she was just as willing for them to overlook their fight as, she indeed took those roses from him and hugged him – with vomit smeared clothes. Yes, we might say “eww” but to them it’s the pronunciation of love louder than any microphone. Because they are both willing to look past their short comings to Love each other. Therefore, yet again maturity and growth is brought about by love.
Growth is a person is to understand that love is the beginning of a journey and it flowers into mutual respect and acceptance. Exactly what is taught to us by love. As love was the seed planted through marriage, it needs regular nurturing to grow it into a strong tree. That continuous nurturing in love is the mutual respect and acceptance that comes through a marriage. Over time couples understand once the “honeymoon” phase is over, they may see things in the other that they do not like. That is normal as everyone is different but what keeps a marriage going is the acceptance of the partners as they are and have respect for them all the same. As is the case for our lovebirds Maria and Jame.
They had argument yet they still have respect for each other as Jame ran to help Maria when she needed him. Thus, Love also teaches us to be accepting of others and have respect for them.
In summary, Love is a strong emotion. It certainly has universal appeal to everyone. With love comes matuarity and growth in a person. As seen in above discussion it teaches people many valuable life lessons. Just as the tree with nurture and care gives beautiful flower, so does love give a fulfilled life with mutual understanding, respect, care and passion.. ###Response: 60-64 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Crisis, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Crises occur as a result of socially and historically constructed beliefs that ultimately impact the lives of the innocent. Individuals are placed in challenging situations due to factors that are often beyond their control. Although some people can learn from their situations and grow as individuals, it occurs at the cost of the loss of their childhood, their freedom and some aspects of their individuality. This essay will discuss how racism can cause crises in the lives of the innocent, focusing on the experience of African Americans as an example.
Before understanding how an individual can grow, if at all, at the face of a crisis, it is essential to first explore what a crisis is and why it occurs. I think a crisis is any difficult situation that jeopardises an individual's life, to any extent. Although the exact reasons behind why a crisis occurs could be very complex and indeed multiple, reflecting on my minimal experience of the world, I think they are often historical and constructed socially. Using African Americans as an example, they have faced crises and have witnessed extreme racism. If we question why they faced extreme racism, generalisation, restrictions on their life, we may not find one simple answer. This is mainly because there is no single reason. One can name ignorance and aspects of inhumanity to be some of the reasons behind the oppression of these individuals but why any unfairness occurs in the world is challenging to answer.
The way people respond to crises, or any difficult situation is dependent on who one is. This is the notion of identity, which is also relative and indeed, multifactorial.
One's identity develops from a person's exposure to their culture, their relationships with those around them and may also have some genetic basis. Given the opportunity, most people can probably grow as people at the face of a difficulty but sometimes, it is not a choice. A Netflix series called 'when they see us' tales the story of five African Americans known as the Central Park 5. These young, innocent boys were imprisoned for the rape of a white American woman mainly as a result of coercion by the police to accept the crimes they never committed, resulting in their imprisonment for 6-14 years. This indeed is a crisis that they faced, mainly due to racism, ignorance and generalisation. They were stripped away from their childhood and the crisis they faced crushed their youth. How can they grow as individuals and develop their unique identities when they are exposed to such unfairness before they even have the opportunity to explore the world around them? How are they to grow or learn anything about themselves when they know that their situation is merely due to the colour of their skin and not the consequence of their actions?
These are some difficult questions to answer but what we can do is to at least ask them! Why should anyone be pushed into a crisis due to the ignorance that existed centuries ago? Why can we not see the individual beyond their culture or their religion or the colour of their skin? We must ensure that at least at an individual level, we do not become creators of a crisis for anyone and attempt to stop the chain of unfairness and oppression where we can.. ###Response: 60-64 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Mercy, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: The concept of having mercy is something we do not often hear being discussed explicitly. Mercy is the act of showing kindness towards another person or group of individuals however, I find this very notion problematic. This is because it has the potential to divide people into groups and as a consequence, places some individuals in categories. Due to this, a certain discourse is normalised where those receiving mercy are somehow inferior, and only capable of reaching a specific level of what the society may call 'success'. This piece thus aims to shed some light on why mercy may be a problematic concept, using the example of refugees to highlight its consequences.
At first glance, the concept of showing mercy seems to be a noble act however on closer inspection, one may realise the problems this idea holds. This is because having mercy immediately gives rise to a power imbalance and divides people into categories: those who show mercy, and those who receive it. It is these that receive the mercy that are disadvantaged because they are considered inferior, thus capable of receiving mercy. The 'merciful' might also be unnecessarily empowered, perhaps enabling a power misuse, a concept not alien to many disadvantaged groups. As such, although having or showing mercy may truly be acts that all humans must possess, when considering its application in human interaction, some groups can be unfairly disadvantaged compared to others.
The notion of marcy has the potential to alter, or rather restrict, the identities of those considered worthy of receiving mercy. Identity is the idea of developing and exploring who one is, as a result of the social interactions and their personal experiences. However, if the social interactions in one's life restrict one's ability to being able to receive mercy only and as a consequence, less capable of finding their true self, free of any interference, it is clear to notice that these individuals are disadvantaged. It may even normalise certain discourse around the abilities of these individuals, more often that not forcing them to also believe that they are only capable of what the society thinks they can achieve. Using the example of refugees and those belonging to non-English speaking backgrounds, I am a living example of how mercy may place you in categories. Having been in Australia for 8 years, throughout my high school, I was almost accustomed to 'you have done well having only been here for such little time.' Although I acknowledge that those who said such things did so from a pure place, without any negativity, I think receiving such comments can make you question yourself and perhaps settle for less. What I mean by that is that it may discourage one from trying their very best in whatever they do because they may believe that they are incapable of achieving more. Undoubtedly, mercy is a pure act that all humans must possess however it can have negative consequences on the development of an individual's identity, restricting them to certain categories only.
Indeed, it is crucial to have the ability to feel for other people and be kind to one another however the idea of mercy has the ability to divide people into categories, thus restricting the abilities of these receiving mercy to explore and identify who they truely are. This perhaps is an issue one does not often think about and is embedded in the very societal structures we have but what we can do is to change our mindset. We must realise that showing kindness of mercy towards others does not mean they are inferior and must show care in the language we use to communicate with them in order to prevent the creation of a divide. ###Response: 60-64 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is War, the prompt/s are - In a civilised society, welfare and warfare cannot go hand in hand and here is the essay: Warfare for welfare
Environmental activism has led to an increased awareness of various issues concerning the effect human activities have on the environment. This form of activism has re-defined the modern-day warfare; it now presents with online discourse, protests and rallies and public figures of all ages seeking to take down the enemy. Without the profound impact of the modern-day warfare under the guide of environmentalism, social welfare would be compromised. Environmental welfare has been a necessary step in advocating for the welfare of humankind.
Environmental activists have used online warfare to execute change on a global level. The frontline has shifted and has now turned into an online battleground. The advent of social media and online domains have allowed people of all age groups to surf a rising tide of adult concern and unite to make a change. Prolific activist Greta Thunberg has capitalised off the online world when she kickstarted the global climate change strike. After posting about skipping school and striking outside Swedish Parliament in Stockholm, the movement quickly spread and went global with an estimated 1.6 million children in 125 countries leaving school to strike. The shift to an online world has allowed larger groups of people to be brought together to fight for a common cause and has also provided a direct stream of communication to the target. Now, green fighters of all ages, sex, race and ability can tweet, post, and video and engage in an online warfare with the enemy; the government. This form of warfare has flared in popularity partly due to its ability to promote freedom of speech which is often unregulated. With no governing rules, environmental fighters have called upon tactics of online petitions and exposing anti-climate figures to make a change. The wide-reaching impact of the online form has mobilised larger groups of people to take part in environmental warfare. Their efforts in battle have and will continue to promote the betterment for environmental welfare.
Environmental warfare through strikes and rallies is an effective tool in disrupting the system and making a change. Strikes and protest build solidarity amongst comrades and demonstrate to the enemy a large number of people have a strong preference for climate action. This form of warfare has been replicated in many facets of society with the same goal of promoting environmental well-fare. Campus activism, such as the ‘United Students Against Sweatshops’ fought in battle to demand that universities do not work with apparel and sports goods companies that source products from sweatshops. The enormously successful battle forced universities to act and eventually source an ethical apparel and sports goods company. This form of battle is often a necessary step against the enemy to invoke a change on a larger scale. Environmental warfare offers opportunities for self-education and self-discovery by the large impact such tactics impose. They have the ability to raise the policy profile of climate change by harnessing the power of the population who demand for better environmental welfare and give agency to all generations who wish to take part in this form of warfare. Environmental warfare in the form of strikes and rallies acts as a public advocate for environmental well-fare.
Warfare can take many shapes, forms and meanings. The modern day warfare has developed under the guide of environmental activism. It has been a necessary step in order to make change on a larger scale and promote the well-fare of society.
The ability to engage in freedom of speech which is often unregulated, include millions of people across the globe in this form of warfare and. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Human Nature, the prompt/s are - It does not take much to reveal the primitive and animal side of human nature. and here is the essay: Human nature: mirror or roadblock
Society continues to change, evolve and take on new shapes and forms. Indeed, there are groups who are vicious and unkind but there are also those grounded in altruism and selflessness. Human nature is malleable and the expression of characteristics largely depends on the environment around us. While it does not take much to reveal the primitively of those in society, we cannot assume that everyone will fit this mold. Human nature is an eclectic mix of personalities that have grown from the environment that surrounds us.
It is not difficult to reveal the animalistic side of human nature when situated in a particular environment. Male domination and oppression over females is not a new condition. Yet, certain circumstances and environmental triggers seem to elicit this side more readily. The progression to an online world has shifted our style of communication tremendously. Now, online rhetoric and bullying are rife as it can occur privately behind a screen without being exposed in front of our peers.
Unfortunately, those who are deemed subordinate are frequently being attacked with immense vitriol. Online mediums such as Twitter and Instagram have stimulated the growth of primitively of online users. Because these mediums are normally unregulated and allow the freedom of speech, no matter the content, users are able to promote their viscous thoughts and spread online hate without ramifications. Public figures such as the activist Greta Thunberg and author Clemetine Ford have publically exposed the online hate they continue to receive. Ford argued that online communication has allowed people across the globe to share hate, spread detrimental messages towards societal growth and act as they would not normally do without the consequences. The online environment has allowed users to express their inner animalistic side towards ‘subordinate groups’ due to the lack of public and societal repercussions and regulation. The primitive side of human nature can be easily exposed when there is little punishment in response.
Human beings are able to grow and take on new forms in response to the environment they are based in. While some beings have fallen a victim to becoming a product of their negative environment, others have chosen to make a change. Fortunately, humanity can take on all forms and choose to make a change to the external environment as opposed to perpetuate the primitivty that occurs. Podcast host and author Michelle Andrews frequently speaks of her early career in the large media industry Mama Mia. As a young author, she often wrote articles that were borderline nasty and inflammatory to invite readers in. Her personal growth and reflections reveal her distaste with her previous style of writing, as it was detrimental to female progression and against her personal beliefs of kindness. Now, as a progressive feminist she advocates for equal rights and fair writing. The shapes and forms we take on are a direct result of the environment we are placed in. Unfortunately, certain industries promote negativity and primitivity, while others are altruistic and advocate for others. Luckily, human beings are not stagnant and have toe ability to grow and change the environment they are in.
Human nature can hold a mirror to the environment that surrounds us or act as a roadblock to perpetuating the primitivity that can grow. Unfortunately, certain triggers can reveal the primitive side more easily and also nurture the growth of viciousness more readily. Luckily, our malleability means we can also change our ways and grow. Human nature is a product of the environment, yet it is up to each being whether they want to fall a victim to the inner daemon or make a change for the betterment of others.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Utilitarianism, the prompt/s are - It is the greatest good to the greatest number of people which is the measure of right and wrong ~ Jeremy Bentham and here is the essay: In a world with so many different cultures and traditions it is impossible to please everyone. Thus, instinctively it seems the best we can do is please as many as we can. Utilitarianism uses this moral reasoning to give guidance when faced with a difficult decision: choose the option where the benefits outweigh the negatives for the greatest number of people.
However, this thinking can be dangerous as it can lead people to do unjust things for the sake of the greater good. What is best for the majority does not always mean what is right and this is something we must be wary of.
One of the greatest flaws of utilitarianism is that it does not consider injustice to the minority. When the British colonized Australia and captured what is known as the Stolen Generation, stealing Aboriginal children from their parents to teach them ‘civilized’ ways for the greater good, it was recognised as utilitarian. This notion of ‘for a greater good’ allowed for a significant evil injustice to occur and the cost was not worth it, as acknowledged today after an apology was made to the Aboriginal community. It could be argued that this was not true utilitarianism but rather just a move of power by the British in order to justify their colonization, but how does utilitarianism differ from the majority exercising its power on the minority? It doesn’t. Given that the pursuit of colonization does not really exist today, another example can be provided to demonstrate that utilitarianism still persists, just in less blatant injustices.
In France, after serious terrorist attacks in 2011, the burqa, an Islamic face covering veil, was banned in public. This was justified as done for the greater good, such that criminals could be caught more easily and could not mask their face under the guise of religious reasoning. When looking at the statistics however, less than 1% of woman in France wear the burqa and given that we don’t also see Santa beards or tightly worn hoodies banned in public spaces for the same reasons, it seems as though this is an extreme ban targeting a certain population and not criminal activity. Today, face masks are being enforced in order to prevent the spread of Covid-19, while the burqa is still banned, reinforcing the idea that perhaps this notion to ban the burqa is more unjust for the minority of women it applies to, than it is for the greater good at all. Even if we think these unjust utilitarian ways are behind us, they certainly still exist today, allowing the majority to exercise its power on the minority.
We must think about why it is we instinctively agree that what is done for the greater good is best. Although a humble notion when considered in the context of war, where one sacrifices himself for his country, in today’s world it is typically a war of the majority against the minority. Which populations make up our minorities? The poor, the racially profiled, the abused. Utilitarianism continues to justify the systems that disadvantage them to keep the majority on top. It seems we are raised to think that what is best for the majority is best for all, regardless of the result. Not only does this thinking minimize the validity and rights of the minorities but it suggests that the progress we have made in terms of equality is superficial. Even if we allow minorities to have the right to vote or equal opportunity to jobs etc. This means nothing if one day it pleases the majority to remove these rights and utilitarianism justifies this as acceptable. Of course, there is no way for everyone to be satisfied but at least with a change of thinking we can ensure that the majority cannot rule in instances where it means an injustice to the minority, such as a ban of religious expression.
The assumed and unquestioned idea that the greater good is what is best should no longer be the norm.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Punishment, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: In this day and age, smacking children as punishment is severely frowned upon, although not actually illegal in Australia. Despite the negative stigmatism, studies have shown that punishment can be more effective than reward. When it comes to physical punishment in the classroom, children are most likely to learn when the consequence of not doing so involves pain rather than pleasure.
Although dreaded by students, tests are opportunities for them to demonstrate the knowledge they have learnt about a topic. When a student does not apply effort into learning a topic, it is shown in their test results. Controlled physical punishment as a result of poor test results would be an effective way of preventing this behaviour in the future. This is because physical punishment inflicts pain, and pain is often followed by fear. Fear conditions humans to avoid what they are afraid of and in order to avoid punishment, students will have to put more effort into learning. Thus, naturally, physical punishment will lead to better educated students.
Physical punishment also encourages students to learn through negative reinforcement. That is, when a student learns that by studying they have escaped physical pain, they feel relief and satisfaction. These sensations work as negative reinforcement as the student realises that learning prevents the onset of punishment and thus will continue to put effort into learning. Additionaly, students who are already attempting to educate themselves will vicariously learn through the observation of others being punished. By observing others being punished for a behaviour you chose not to do, you are more likely to continue to avoid that behaviour. Thus, students who observe others receive physical punishment and avoid it themselves are also more likely to continue to try to learn as they realise this is the favourable behaviour.
Once the behaviour is taught it becomes habit. Once students have learnt that punishment arrives when they do not study, it will become a habit to study in order to avoid pain. Once students become used to studying, it will be easier for them to continue this behaviour without punishment continuing or constantly being threatened.
Physical punishment is an effective way of making students learn through a number of means including by inducing fear, by negative reinforcement and by vicarious learning. Together these results lead to well-educated students which is currently not what our education system is producing.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Conformity, the prompt/s are - Anybody who is any good is different from anybody else ~ Felix Frankfurter and here is the essay: Finding the grey in conformity.
Charles Dudley Warner once said, “we are half ruined by conformity, but we should be wholly ruined without it.” A controversial statement, but nonetheless one that requires contemplation. Warner’s idea that we are somewhat ruined by conformity has been echoed through the views of traditionalists. Despite this, without conformity, we lack the groundwork needed to protect our society. As such, we should aim to find a balance between conformity and originality, as both are necessary aspects of our lives. This essay aims to review how conformity can be both a negative and positive pillar in our lives, and how we can combat this issue.
As humans, we strive for originality. However, conformity within the human race has ruined the originality amongst us. Traditionalists are often set in their ways – they don’t encourage change. As we, as a species, are constantly evolving, wouldn’t it be right to assume that change is inevitable? Well, according to these traditionalists, this change should be stopped. Take gay rights for example. As a current movement across the world, gay rights have been a hot topic for everyone – the importance of these rights has not gone unseen. Despite this, traditionalists are constantly shutting these individuals down, forcing them to conform to society as it exists now. Conforming to the standards of society has been a jailer of freedom - depriving individuals of their equal rights and as a result, our chances of growing as a society have been ruined by conformity.
Despite this, in some aspects of life we need conformity. Imagine a world without any rules or guidelines. It would be a mess. Conformity teaches people how to act. In the case of the United States, protests against the ‘stay at home’ regulations of isolation during the COVID- 19 pandemic have shown how dear the consequences of anti-conformity can be. Individuals are going against the rules set by the government, taking matters into their own hands. As a result, thousands of people are being put at risk of contracting the deadly virus. This goes further than just disease – we see it in crime laws as well. Breaking the speed limit is such a common issue in Australia, and it the cause of majority of the crime-related deaths we have. As a result, individuals who reject conformity are destroying the lives of innocent people.
Consequently, without conformity, we would be ruined.
So, what is better – conforming to societies standards, or going against them? In truth, neither is perfect. There are flaws to both sides. In order to combat this, we should follow in the footsteps of Buddha, who suggested following a path of grey in a world of black and white. In this sense, we would follow the rules and regulations set out by governments, however we would not be afraid to challenge these with our own views where reasonable. A key movement whereby challenging conformity was necessary can be seen through Copernicus and his Heliocentric theory. Without his movement against the Church and their views, our understanding of the solar system would be far less advanced than it is today.
Despite this, in cases where people’s lives are put at risk, this would not be appropriate. Discretion should be used where necessary to find a balance between conforming and challenging.
In essence, this essay explores the truth behind Warner’s statement given that although
conformity may ruin us, we would indeed be ruined without conformity. Instead of taking either side, we should instead aim to find a balance between the two. In this sense, society should follow the rules set, but not be afraid to challenge them where necessary.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Suffering, the prompt/s are - Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls ~ Kahlil Gibran and here is the essay: The Importance of Suffering
In the words of Kahlil Gibran, out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The notion that our struggles help us grow as individuals is one that is indeed true for humans. When we suffer as a society, we often band together in an attempt to move past the problem. In this sense, the power in numbers enables strength and growth. Further, suffering is essential for happiness. Our ability to suffer can readjust our internal scale of happiness, putting things into perspective. Despite this, not all suffering is beneficial. Given that suffering can induce harm, we must consider the consequences of pain. This essay will review both the benefits and consequences of suffering.
Our ability to suffer allows for growth and strength. As s society, Australian’s are well known for their integration and tight-bondedness. In the face of societal issues, Australian’s band together, and form power in numbers. Take the 2019 Australian bushfires as an example. In the face of this catastrophic disaster, individuals from all around the country came together to help. There were food baskets created, monetary donations made and even volunteer firefighters helping. We came together as a nation to support one another. We rebuilt life, we rebuilt our homes but more importantly, we rebuilt one another. Through this ability to come together, we faced our struggles and came out stronger. This event changed us – for the better.
Further, suffering not only makes us stronger, but simply allows us to be happy. Much like many other bodily processes, happiness is chemically based. The hormone serotonin is released in the brain and allows us to perceive emotions of happiness. But who defines happy? What makes one person happy, may not make another happy. It is our struggles that truly give us a perception of what makes us a happy. In a similar manner to blood pressure where a scale is used to determine both high and low blood pressure, we can use our scale of happiness and suffering to determine what makes us happy and what does not. Those who have seen worse, are often happier at the simplest of things. In contrast, those who never suffer, will never know what is truly feels like to be happy. Our ability to suffer shows us the dark side, giving light to the bright side. Without suffering, we would not know true happiness.
Despite this, not all events of suffering are beneficial to us. A prime example of this is war veterans. To those who know war veterans personally know that the people who leave us, are not the same as those who come back. The events they endure whilst serving for their country and things we would never imagine. As a result, many war veterans suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of their suffering. Take Herbert Richardson for example – war veteran who served at the Vietnam war and whose life was changed forever. Richardson was diagnosed with PTSD shortly after his return home. A consequence of this was murder. Now this is not to say that all war veterans have the same fate, but in the case of Richardson, his PTSD got the better of him, and landed him on death row. As a result, the events we ensured, the suffering we experienced, may place more of a burden than a benefit on us in the long-term.
In all, this essay shows that suffering has two sides – the one side that promotes strength and happiness, and the other, that burdens us for life. Given the two opposite consequences of suffering, it may be suggested that suffering is good up until a certain threshold. Once we exceed this, suffering may no longer pose a benefit to society. As a result, we should continue to challenge ourselves, and not fear the struggles we are bound to face, however we must remember when to pull back after a certain point, to ensure we maintain to harm to ourselves or those around us.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Inequality, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: We are privileged and it is time we realised it. We live in a society where our government allow free healthcare for its citizens. Our ability to head to the hospital the moment we are injured instead of thinking "will I be able to afford this?" is a privilege that continues to go unnoticed. It is unfortunate however, that there are many individuals, such as African Americans, that do not have the basic necessity of healthcare. The lack opportunities given to African Americans to secure a stable income hinders the opportunity to access healthcare. This reveals how racial and prejudicial values still continue to be entrenched within contemporary society.
The lack of access to healthcare by many African Americans highlights the deep-rootedness of racial inequality within America. The United State of America is perceived as the land of the free, a land with endless possibilities but a mere glance at societal structures that limit certain groups of individuals to access healthcare reveals the instability and inequality present within society. Since the period of the slave trade, African Americans have been perceived as inferior and subordinate to the White individual. Legislative laws normalised the prejudicial and racial values aimed towards the African American community. This resulted in the formation of racial profiles that labelled African Americans as lazy, unintelligent and a danger to society. As a result, African Americans were marginalised in society and were deprived the access to education and white collar jobs. Due to the lack of opportunities, African Americans have been unable to attain opportunities with a stable flow of income. Due to the inability to afford healthcare, we have seen the importance of healthcare become less of a priority. The lack of governmental support to assist struggling African Americans reveals how society continues to favour and serve the most privilege in society. Instead of aiming to provide all citizens with their fundamental human rights, the American government continues to profit off by commodifying healthcare. This has lead to deleterious consequences within the African American society.
Governance of archaic racial values that have denied healthcare to African Americans continue to have serious long-term consequences on the livelihoods of African Americans. We see African Americans with families delay the pertinence of accessing healthcare as their main priority is to feed and look after their families. A study conducted by the university of Stanford detailed that African Americans are disproportionately affected in the current COVID-19 pandemic. We see a higher death rate amongst African Americans in comparison to other racial groups. This blatantly highlights how social structures that were created throughout history, continue to be engrained within the core of contemporary society.
Those from wealthy backgrounds will continue to have access to healthcare whilst marginalised minority groups will suffer the consequences of a system that does not offer the fundamental service of healthcare.
Next time you go to the hospital or the doctors, think about your privilege. Healthcare is an absolute necessity but due to underlying social structures that discriminate minorities, we see many living without their fundamental human rights. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Mercy, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: The virtue of mercy is undervalued in society. It appears that individuals would rather consume in anger, sadness and frustration than be merciful. As the world progresses, minority groups have become more comfortable with sharing their stories which entails acts of discrimination fuelled by prejudicial beliefs and attitudes. As minorities have become more comfortable opening up, individuals that have acted wrongly due to a lack of knowledge are being persecuted and shamed within contemporary society. This has lead to a cultural shift where society chooses to antagonise a mistaken individual, rather than having mercy on them.
The virtue of mercy is pertinent for the growth and progression of society. It is evident that society today has evolved from what it was ten years ago. People have become more aware and are more open to the discussion of events surrounding the harmful and toxic experiences many minority individuals have faced. Instead of creating a safe environment for discussion and mercy, the cultural notion of 'cancelling individuals' has resulted in shame and blame attitudes. This has been evident with many celebrities that have been deprived of opportunities due to sexist or racial comments they have made during childhood or teenage years. Although I strongly condemn the views and attitudes of these comments, it is important to realise that individuals evolve and experience growth throughout life. Our identity, attitudes and beliefs are not static and instead are ever evolving with new experiences and environmental changes. Instead of creating a toxic culture to isolate individuals, it is important to be merciful and accept the ever-evolving identity.
Under Aristotle's Virtue theory, having mercy on individuals that realise and accept their mistakes, is ethical. Aristotle's Virtue Theory states that the most virtuous thing you can do in a given situation is to be the best person you can be. It presumes that people who have good character act ethically. As such, those that decide to be hateful instead of merciful, sabotages the chance for others to grow and accept their mistakes. By being merciful, we begin to understand that everyone at some point in their lives have acted or said something inappropriate. Instead of shaming individuals, it is important to acknowledge and have mercy for what was said/done and create a space for personal development. Through being merciful, we are able to strengthen our relationship with other individuals of diverse backgrounds. Instead of viewing our mistakes as something to be ashamed of, the act of mercy can view such a situation as a learning curve.
Mercy is not a sign of weakness. Those that decide to be merciful show the most courage by having a growth mentality.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Education, the prompt/s are - "Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in every society, in every family" ~ Kofi Annan and here is the essay: I recently came across an article and was baffled to read that Indigenous Australians have much lower literacy and numeracy rates compared to the rest of the Australian population. Access to quality education should be available to every single person as it holds a tremendous power, liberating individuals and allowing them to live a quality life. Whether it be politically empowering, assuages financial burden or elevates health, education is the beacon for a better life.
Over history, education has allowed millions of individuals to fight for their rights and freedom under oppressive governments. Education on history and human rights is vital in understanding what kind of world we want to live in. This knowledge allows societies to learn from the downfalls of the past and ensure that the correct decisions are made to prevent regression. In fact, some governments are so threatened by the power that knowledge gives its citizens, that it intentionally censors history to prevent overthrow. For example, the Hindu nationalistic government of India has removed statements in history
textbooks, where India’s founders encourage India to maintain its secularity. Evidently, education regarding history and human rights is vital for the progression of society.
Furthermore, education plays a major role financially, significantly increasing rates of employment. Regardless of whether it secondary or tertiary education, skills such as literacy, numeracy and communication skills are testaments of a quality education. As these skills are essential for a number of jobs, education opens the door to a number of financial opportunities. In countries such as Sri Lanka, where poverty rates are high, free education has proved to improve the livelihood of many individuals from low socioeconomic backgrounds, by boosting employment. A steady income allows these individuals to access medications, nutritious foods and housing, drastically improving their lives. Therefore, this demonstrates the importance of education in alleviating financial burden.
In addition to this, education in regard to health is also essential in a functioning, happy society. In recent decades, more and more people, especially in Western cultures are becoming knowledgeable on the realities of mental health. This has allowed people the freedom to access the help they need. However, in Eastern culture, a lack of education in mental health has led to the stigmatisation of it. Instead of viewing those with mental
health struggles as in need of help, they are rather labelled as ‘crazy’, preventing the opportunity for any improvement. Therefore, this demonstrates that knowledge has the power to liberate us.
As the ancient proverb goes, knowledge truly is power. Everyday communities around the world fight for equality and liberation, and education is the key to unlocking this. Through providing political and financial freedom, as well as preventing the stigmatisation of mental health, education is the way to a brighter future.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Success and Failure, the prompt/s are - "Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future." ~ Robert H. Schuller and here is the essay: Robert H. Schuller once quipped, “Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” In essence, his remarks fail to capture the significant role our hurts and failures have in paving the path for a brighter future. From our personal relationships to our educational endeavours, our mistakes are what build the foundation for a successful life.
The types of people we surround ourselves with have a massive influence on the person we become and learning from our past downfalls only helps us make better decisions.
Regardless of who you are, it is inevitable that at some point in our lifetime, we either have had an argument or a falling out with a friend or other relation. Although these experiences can often be painful and extremely disheartening, they are the resources that we must use to improve our lives. For example, breaking up with a partner may bring us a lot of hurt, however it allows us to understand the qualities we truly want in our future partner.
Therefore, learning from our pains can help inform the decisions we make for future relationships.
Furthermore, this same concept can be applied to our educational endeavours and how we can use our failures to our advantage. From primary school, we are graded on our performance in all our subjects. The purpose of this system is not to define individuals based on their abilities, but rather provide feedback and encourage improvement. For example, receiving a low mark in an exam is often disheartening and can make you feel like a failure. However, these marks allow you to recognise where you need to improve and can guide your future study. Therefore, using our mistakes is advantageous and actually encouraged in educational endeavours.
Some may argue that using pain and failure can have dangerous consequences such as cynicism after a failed relationship or make us doubt our capabilities. However, this fails to recognise the idea of using our downfalls astutely, rather than dwelling in our own misfortune. In order to truly make the most of our painful experiences, we must have an open mind to grasp what we can take from these experiences. Rather than allowing them to dishearten us, we must allow them to make us more confident in ourselves and our abilities.
Ultimately, even throughout history, the recognition of mistakes and failures is what has allowed society to progress. Therefore, if we want to genuinely advance in life, we must adapt the mindset to utilise our pains to fulfil our hopes and shape our futures to our desires.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Civility, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: The term “civility” prompts images of a utopic Jane Austen world, where discourse involved an elaborate set of rules and etiquette reflected one’s status and morality. Civility, being the formal politeness and courtesy in behaviour or speech, enables us to respectfully navigate interactions with others. Nowadays, however, incivility seems to permeate every facet of life, from hostile workplaces to protests to cyber-bullying. Loss of our civility could be indicative of a social failing in our community or it could be a side effect of significant change in the name of equality. Civility is one of the most beneficial and useful human virtues, but only when there is equal opportunity first.
Civil discourse enables us to preserve our relationships with others. Humans are inherently heterogeneous beings with respect to experiences, lifestyles and opinions. In order to cooperate within society, we must look beyond our differences. This is particularly essential in the workforce, as any form of incivility, such as mocking, exclusion or dismissal, is very disruptive to employees’ emotions, motivations, creativity and overall performance. Not only does this impact employee wellbeing, it has been estimated that negative behaviour costs some companies millions of dollars in lost productivity. The societal cost of incivility, both in human relationships and monetary value, is extremely high.
Whilst civility maintains human relationships, it can be abused as a vehicle for avoiding change, thus denying disenfranchised individuals the chance to attain equal rights and justice. Throughout history, activists have seldom won battles against injustice by asking politely. For example, Rosa Parks’ historic act of civil disobedience, of refusing to give up her seat for a white man, propelled the civil rights movement. A more recent example of a woman dismissing civility in the pursuit of positive change is Greta Thunberg’s climate change movement. In these instances, disregard of societal etiquettes with simple acts of incivility have been necessary to instigate action. Enforcing a formalised set of rules governing social interactions is, therefore, likely to hinder the pursuit of justice.
Conflict is endemic to the human condition. Whilst civility is our best hope to maintain the delicate equilibrium of society, incivility is also occasionally necessary to disrupt the status quo. For better or worse, we do not live in a Jane Austen novel, thus we can choose incivility, preferably in the pursuit of equality and justice.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Language, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: “Parkinson’s disease is the progressive degeneration of dopaminergic substantia nigra neurons”. Your ability to decipher this statement depends on background. As a scientist, it makes perfect sense to me. If I were to repeat this statement to my mum, who is a hairdresser, she would probably tell me to leave. Language is an incredibly powerful mechanism of communication between humans, but only if we use it correctly. In this case, language represents a barrier between scientists and lay people.
Scientists are publicly funded to investigate phenomena that will hopefully advance our society, thus are accountable to convey their research in a way that is digestible by the public. The use of scientific language publicly is advantageous as it instils trust and promotes the correct course of action.
In my daily life, I am constantly switching between what I call “science” versus “normal” language. It’s dependent on context, who I’m speaking with and what we’re speaking about. Interestingly, with the recent COVID-19 global pandemic, scientific language is starting to creep into situations where I would exclusively engage in “normal” language, amongst non-scientific family and friends. The anxiety surrounding this event and reliance on scientists to convey a clear picture, means that using scientific language to explain graphs and statistics and convey logic behind strict isolation measures is necessary to instil trust and compliance. Language reinforces trust and appropriate behaviour within society.
Conversely, using language without a strong explanation nor clarity can lead to misinterpretation. I have encountered many examples of non-qualified individuals providing advice under the guise of convincing language. For example, the plight of some organisations to eliminate COVID-19 with the ingestion of bleach. Explanations to justify this horrific “remedy” utilise scientific terminology, such as “disinfect” and “DNA”. Whilst this may seem like an obvious fallacy to some, there are others who will enact on this advice out of ignorance. Without a strong understanding of the background knowledge behind language, nor appropriate explanations, it can be misinterpreted to the detriment of society.
Our science is only as good as our communication. The interpretation of scientific information can mean the difference between life and death choices, with ambiguity potentially detrimental to a functioning society. We must strive to educate the public in scientific language without condescension, as everyone has the right to make informed choices.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Education, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: “I don’t know”. These three words used to fill me with absolute dread and helplessness. Not knowing was the epitome of failure; I hadn’t studied enough, or maybe I just wasn’t smart enough. This attitude was ingrained into me by our educational system. I was taught that success equated to how much information I could absorb and regurgitate in one sitting. As I have progressed through secondary and tertiary education and now onto a doctorate, my relationship with education and learning has fundamentally changed. Knowing facts and rigid dogmas is not the pinnacle of intelligence nor does it drive me forward. It is through curiosity, delving into the unknown and finding my own answers, that I have truly begun to learn.
Up until now, the majority of my educational experience was centred around examinations. A few hours of regurgitation, several times a semester was a measure of my aptitude, self-worth, and future employment. To be expected, this evoked a lot of performance anxiety, and my singular drive within education was simply to score highly on tests. Whilst it helped me build a solid foundational knowledge, I did not question what was being taught. My attitude to education was to see it as a series of necessary tasks, not a privilege that would enable me to learn, critically question and ultimately better myself.
Now as a junior researcher, and someone who hasn’t sat an examination in many years (until now), my approach to knowledge and self-education has fundamentally changed. In research, we are expected to take ownership of our own learning and use it to create experiments and resources that will (hopefully) help people in the future. Every day I am faced with questions that I don’t know the answer to and, if it’s a good question, then no one knows the answer. That’s why we test it. In my
opinion, this is the pinnacle of education; using what we’ve learnt to drive our knowledge further into the unknown.
I still don’t know a lot of things, but I have become (mostly) comfortable with this, I’m still learning after all. Whilst the current education system can impart foundational knowledge, it does not reward curiosity. It has taken a long time for me to take ownership of my own learning and embrace the unknown. Imagine if we started teaching it early on.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Compromise, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: There are almost always two diametrically different ways of seeing the same human problem. Our views are rarely unanimous, from simple issues such as who should do the dishes to more complex debates such as the ethical use of stem cells in research. It is through compromise, a settlement that is reached by mutual concessions, that we get what we need. At its best, compromise enables us to preserve our relationships with others whilst ensuring that the needs of all relevant parties are satisfied. However, does this virtue come at the cost of progress?
Compromising comes at the cost of progress. One of the most prominent historical examples of this in medical research is the debate around the use of embryonic stem cells. Whilst these cells represent an invaluable resource to understanding human development and the onset of disease, their origin and the potential for manipulation represents a significant ethical conundrum with the onset of personhood. The scientific community has made many compromises, imposing rigorous restrictions and not utilising the cells to their full potential. Compromise impedes progress. In this case, it not only hinders the scientists investigating novel solutions for treating diseases, but also those waiting for the development of these alternative therapies.
Whilst compromising presents a significant obstacle to progress, it facilitates empathy and the development of novel solutions, thus propelling human ingenuity. When presented with a compromise, we can adapt and overcome. Returning to the example of embryonic stem cells in research. The scientific community has listened to and emphasised with those of the public who disagree with their use. The resulting restrictions presented a challenge to develop alternative ways to study stem cells without the use of embryos. From this, technology was developed to reprogram the patient’s own cells, which not only diverted the ethical dilemma, but this technology is also more applicable to adult disease research. Without compromise and the push for creativity, this ingenious solution may never have come to fruition. Compromise drives us to find alternatives, thus might delay but does not ultimately hinder progress.
Whilst one form of progress may be hindered by compromising, another is likely to be discovered that suits the needs of both parties. In the context of stem cells, compromise has driven us to reach new heights, but at what cost? The resultant delay in knowledge and resources might seem insignificant, but it could mean the difference between a novel therapy now or later. The compromises were made between scientists and those opposed to the research but will mostly likely affect the vulnerable. Compromise has unforeseen consequences that we must try to consider before undertaking it.. ###Response: 65-69 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Leadership, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Ambitious climbers do not want to stop at the second highest rung, when they can take one more step to see further than the rest. In modern society, this sentiment has translated to an obsession to ascend to leadership positions, creating an arms race where we are only valued for our real or perceived position in the metaphorical ladder. Those who cannot climb high enough can experience a sense of inadequacy whilst those who do reach the top of hierarchy can feel immense pressure to maintain their position. Any mistakes or signs of weakness can dismantle their position, meaning the pressure to attain and maintain leadership can be overwhelming and foster an environment, unconducive of social cohesion.
Since time immemorial, leadership worship has existed in the form of civilians idolising and even mythologising kings and others we deem to be our superiors. By engaging in upward social comparison with those in higher positions, many fervently dreamt of achieving similar status and erroneously equated their self-worth with their socio-economic position. We have only perpetuated the archaic notion that prestige is solely associated with leadership only, meaning being a follower is mutually exclusive to success. This can be observed in modern society, where people are constantly obsessed with their position and endeavour to work longer hours to the detriment of their health, complete extensive education and further training with disregard for their wellbeing in the hope of attaining higher positions in their field. Whilst it is erroneous to discourage a person working towards self-improvement, it is important to not lose perspective and ask at what cost? Proponents of leadership will espouse the message to get ahead in this race, we must climb higher and make more sacrifices than others and only by reaching the top of hierarchy can we achieve self-fulfilment. However, such a mentality is reductive and can be incredibly dangerous. It is well-documented that pressure to succeed in the workplace can lead to a myriad of health, emotional and social problems, ranging from hypertension, depression and social isolation in an attempt to reach the epitome of professional success, known as leadership. The infallible truth is indoctrinating people with the view that the only value is associated with leadership contributes to a plethora of detrimental effects. We must instead focus on meaningful changes in the workplace where people can make contributions at all levels and it is not solely those at the top of the hierarchy who are compensated well for their contribution. This can range from having round table discussions between everyone and encouraging open workspace where leaders do not receive any special privileges, such as private room or company incentives .By also reducing the wage disparity, will allow people to recognise their own value and actively communicating changes within the system based on people’s input will allow everyone's voices to be heard, thus democratising the system.
It is not only those at the bottom who feels immense pressure to reach upward mobility within an organisation, but leaders often experience a range of issues, from Tall Poppy Syndrome to Imposter Syndrome. Individuals at top of hierarchy can incur jealousy from others and can become paranoid by thought of collective sabotage from those below them. Similarly, if a leader does not feel they are adequately deserving of their position, they may experience Imposter Syndrome where they will continuously feel their contribution is lacking and do not align with the expectations of those around them. Furthermore, in our current cultures, it is often the leaders who are burdened with making decisions which has ripple effect on everyone within the company, ranging from business growth to creating new employment opportunities. One wrong decision can topple the whole system, where the leader receives the most blame and can become readily replaced creating an intense pressure. These problems fundamentally stem from the same root, a glorification of leadership leading to a myopic mindset where we perpetuate vertical leadership with clear command and control. Instead, we must focus on horizontal leadership where everyone feels equally able to contribute whilst removing the overwhelming pressure felt by only those at the top. This risk mitigation strategy is also effective as it allows us to utilise the untapped resource of every workers to unleash their potential. The modern employee wants to be accountable for their contribution and do not want to simply act like a mindless drone, following the orders of their leaders. By disestablishing the hierarchical approach where one person makes all the decisions with little input from others, we can cultivate a more productive, less risky workplace.
Nothing is normal until the majority normalises it. Leadership should not be viewed only with a rose-tinted lens that results in individuals pursuing it to the detriment of their own wellbeing. Similarly, once a person reaches this supposed pinnacle of success, they feel they will become expendable due to any mistake, resulting in a range of problems. We must foster bilateral leadership when everyone can provide their viewpoints and such strength in diversity can galvanise necessary changes.. ###Response: 70-74 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Hope, the prompt/s are - Hope never abandons you, you abandon it. and here is the essay: Denounce the Defeatist Attitude
When hope is given, it can alienate fear. This old adage has become highly relevant to contemporary Australian society in regard to the representation of ATSI people. We continue to focus only on the negative statistics pertaining to Australia’s First Nations people, with highly detailed narration about the overrepresentation of ATSI people in prisons or perpetuating the ever-present narrative about the growing socio-economic disparity. However, solely highlighting the negative stories can create a culture of hopelessness for ATSI youth which further continues the circle and creates an environment unconducive of progressive changes. We must encourage positive representation which will provide hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a newer generation of ATSI individuals.
Media cycle is dominated by fear-mongering news, perpetuating a one-sided narrative where ATSI people will always be victims, which can exacerbate the despair within ATSI communities. It is an established fact that data algorithm favours stories which maintains the status quo and individuals often feel compelled to share articles that perpetuates the norm of First Nations people struggles, such as the increase in crime rates within the ATSI community. Although sharing such articles may have a well-meaning intention of raising cultural awareness, in reality it paints a bleak image of the future, where ATSI people will never rise, effectively creating an echo chamber. Within this echo chamber, the same story is repeated with minute iterations whilst suppressing news that accentuates the success and strength of the ATSI community. Thus, ATSI individuals may become more likely to succumb to a tragic fate, turning to a life of crime, believing this is their only reality. This is seen by the disproportionate presence of First Nations people in the justice system and the accompanied high recidivism rates. Instead, our youth needs to know there is hope through positive media representation which in turn creates a positive feedback loop for further growth and progress. This can range from interviews with Indigenous athletes, politicians, doctors and highlighting the fact there is light at the end and that Indigenous people can be empowered. Hope is contagious. There can be a change in the story for the future if we make a conscious effort to educate ourselves of the success and not hyper-focussing on negative stories.
Moreover, public discourse pertaining to ATSI has made Australian society desensitised to their struggles as we have become indoctrinated with the erroneous assumption nothing can be done to empower the ATSI community. This is another flow on effect of the echo chamber as many egregiously believe elevating the ATSI communities is impossible due to the media’s insistence to propagate the narrative that no progress has occurred. As a result, many are oblivious of the fact, there has been a myriad of Indigenous Procurement Policies, with one example being the ‘’Close the Gap’’ initiative. This has resulted in incentivising the employment and retention of ATSI workers, incorporation of culturally appropriate curricula and greater funding in schools to promote engagement. Consequently, there has been an increase in representation of ATSI individuals in professional and educational domain. Nevertheless, it is erroneous to assume we live in a post-racial society where the First Nations people do not face any obstacles, as this can prevent effective assistance being provided. Similarly, just because progress has occurred, thinking ATSI individuals no longer face any difficulties is equally reductive of a complex issue. It is vital to find the balance between acknowledging the hardships whilst also highlighting progress that has occurred. This in turn encourage society to explore newer, robust policies that can further assist the communities as we are more likely to engage in practices when we can see clear, favourable outcomes. We can no longer remain wilfully blind to the fact initiatives to assist ATSI communities need to continue and that progress has occurred, with room for further improvement.
Hope is incredibly effective in facilitating changes. How is it morally permissible to continuously portray the image of a ATSI person as someone who is damaged, who will never escape their trauma to elevate their social status? Although it is important to recognise barriers which hinders opportunity for upward social mobility and the systemic prejudice faced by ATSI individuals but solely focussing on the negative issues can lead to poorer outcomes for ATSI youth. We can no longer perpetuate the harmful cycle of hopelessness which can discourage action-driven changes if people believe it is a lost cause. Denouncing the defeatist attitude needs to be a preeminent priority through sharing positive messages of hope.. ###Response: 70-74 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Fantasy, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Our wildest fantasies and deepest corners of our imagination reflect what we truly want most in life. Hidden where no one can see, it is an idealistic utopia we escape to. Very few people make their fantasies into realities, but for the minority, it represents the ultimate happiness your mind can conjure up. For many people, this fantasy is a career in medicine, one that is ruthlessly difficult to get into and requires a myriad of hoops to jump and dragons to slay before you get to the white coat in the castle. Stellar academics, an aced interview and the dreaded GAMSAT aptitude test. Aptitude by defintion is an intrinsic trait, something supposedly un-practiceable yet in recent years there has been a rise in preparation companies selling comprehensive packages and a guarantee of the top 5 percentile. Neoliberalism is an economic theory whereby the amount of wealth accrued is positively correlated with the amount of success you have in the society. One of the ways neoliberalism can be achieved is via commodification, the placing of a monetary value on something that would otherwise be free. Companies such as Gold Standard and Fraser's commodify desperate young applicants fantasies and dreams of getting into medicine, by selling them practice for a supposedly un-practiceable test, thus compromising the integrity of the medical entry process.
Due to the increased competitiveness of GAMSAT in recent years, applicants are getting more and more desperate. Companies like Fraser's and Gold Standard ruthlessly advertis, using words like "guarantee" and "get into med first go" to captivate and lure in these students. The students, desperate to gain entry into a medical school, and thus the glory that comes with being in the minority of students that make their fantasies reality, essentially pay whatever it takes to make this dream come true. At times, this price is up to
$5000 for extensive exams and analytics and "insider tips". This is a mass amount that has ultimately made Scott Fraser millions of dollars in profits. The neoliberal values dictate that the more money he accrues, the more successful he will be in a society. An issue arises however with the fact that Fraser is not offering students a guarantee at entering medicine. He is offering them the "opportunitY" to get into medicine. This manipulative phrasing takes advantage of vulnerable students, who at the end of the day have paid $5000 for an opportunity.
An unfortunate fact of the matter is that students who pay for prep courses ultimately do get a better GAMSAT score. By altering the integrity of an aptitude test, prep companies like fraser's are ultimately altering the process of medical entry since wealthier students are given an unfair advantage. This places the fantasies of people with money more likely to come true than people without money, placing the worth of the wealthy above those who are not wealthy. The reality is that if money can buy you your fantasy coming true, then what is the point of having a fantasy. When money can physically buy dreams, it reinforces the neoliberal school of thought that more monetary value truly does make you more powerful and successful. If students who pay for GAMSAT preparation courses ultimatly get into medicine, they then earn the financial security of a doctor and are mroe liekly to be able to afford to send their child to a preparation course who will also go on to earn the financial security of being a doctor. This creates a vicious cycle of inequality, biased against those who could not afford a preparation course for a test that was supposed to be aptitude based in the first place.
The introduction of preparation companies negates the hard work and merit of making your fantasies into a reality. By manipulating desperate young students, million dollar preparation companies are commodifying their fantasies to profit for themselves, and be successful by a neoliberal defintion. This compromises the entire integrity and authenticity of the medical entry process, stipulating that fantasies and aptitude and ultimately a position in medical school can be bought and those who cannot afford to pay the 5 or so grand are worth less than those who can. This reinforces the neoliberalistic ideals, shifting our priortiies to ones of morally grey actions and creates a virtually indestructable cycle of inequity and structural violence. As neoliberalism becomes more and more dominant in our society, the consequences potentially mean that our doctors perhaps are the richest, but not the brightest casting a shadow of doubt regarding our quality of medical professionals in the future.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Technology and Privacy, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: We are currently living in through a technological revolution. The last thirty years have seen the worldwide epidemic of internet fever and today, even the world’s most impoverished areas have access to some sort of technological device. The benefits to advancements is abundant. Increased allocation of resources, efficiency and first and foremost consumer convenience. For the first time in history, buyers can have everything they need delivered to their door all with the touch of a button. The company’s need to constantly one up each other to keep consumers interested has now reached such a high that it has created a moral grey area. As incredible as it is, the trade-off for user convenience is privacy. In a neoliberal society where economic wealth is equal to success, tech companies are scrambling to appease the consumer. In 2020 at such an advanced level of technology, this means manipulating users, potentially even violating their freedom.
When we browse online, the internet collects ‘cookies’. Cookies are bits of data that is stored in our own personal vault that is said to enhance user experience. When a wordy document crosses our screen asking if we consent to our cookies being stored, we hurriedly accept. In the eyes of the consumer, this is like letting the staff og the bank enter our vault, and that’s alright, because they need entry in order to be able to do their jobs. First party cookies are used in this way, to keep us logged into social media accounts or remember that English is our language preference. The moral grey area occurs when these websites sell our cookies to third parties. Technically we gave permission to the bank staff to enter our vault, but now he is selling our stuff to earn money for himself without our knowing. In this way, companies such as Facebook and Google are allowing other companies to take a peek at our information, information which is then used for targeted advertising. For example, if I search for leggings on line, I might suddenly find myself seeing advertisements for local yoga studios.
The idea of cookies being used has existed for a long time without the knowledge of the users. A combination of company thirst to stay competitive in the market mixed with user naivety has created a serious breach in privacy. Due to the more public nature of the demand for tech company accountability, users are becoming more aware of the problem.
What was once not really understood is now akin to an overt breech in privacy such as breaking into someone’s house without them knowing. As user demand changes, companies try to appease them to prevent collapse in demand. In late January, Google announced that they would be phasing out cookies in an attempt to restore user privacy. While a noble gesture – one that has been met with praise from users – what is not understood is that since these internet platforms are free for users, company revenue comes from third party advertisements. By taking away third part cookies, Google can no longer earn money from potential advertisers, increasing the cost of the business, a cost which may be potentially pushed onto users.
Since the rise of technology has climaxed, user privacy has been called into question. As users become more aware and educated on the way cookies work, it is important to realise that with the storing of cookies comes enhanced user experience and a free cost. While some users value their privacy more, they need to be asking themselves “can we afford the price of privacy”.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Privelige, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Good governance is certainly a topic of contention at the moment; people are finding it more important to pay attention to the news now than ever before. In a time when the world is rapidly changing, people are suffering, and state laws are constantly updating, it is vital that those in power are doing their job, and it is vital that the people they are leading are remaining informed. A healthy, functioning society is therefore a two way street: the government has a responsibility to serve the people it governs, and the people within them have a responsibility to stay updated.
The government has a hand in so much of daily life. The unseen laws (written, and unwritten) that govern society are written and enforced, with the purpose of maintaining order, and with the populace's best interests in mind. This is evident in road rules. The high numbers of motor vehicle related deaths have been identified as a problem, and so laws requiring seatbelts, traffic lights, and prohibiting driving under the influence have been implemented to address this. Beyond laws, state-enforced health promotion campaigns such as "keep your hand off it" help to increase awareness and prevent risk behaviours. These initiatives have been implemented by government (at both federal and state levels) for both the safety of people, and to keep order on the roads. Other government initiatives in infrastructure, education and healthcare also influence daily life, whether we recognise it or not. Upon being voted into power (in democratic systems), there is therefore the obligation to serve the people as promised, and to their best interests, and it is important that this is maintained.
Despite the hand of the government in our everyday, it is often easy to ignore their influence. It is often easy to turn a blind eye to anything mildly related to "politics": it is easy to turn down the radio, turn off the news and ignore the headlines. But this ignorance can be dangerous. The news has recently circulated stories of racially charged attacks on black men such as Aumard Arbery and Christian Cooper, and it is easy for the viewer to look away. But to do so would make the audience complicit in the act - witnessing injustice without action or calling for change is almost just as deadly, and "virtue signalling", or trivially sharing the story online to seem "woke" is just as unhealthy. No, society must call on its authorities and call for change, to prevent such atrocities to occur again. Similarly, it is easy to ignore the realities of other countries struggling with the fallout of high COVID-19 fatalities, when Australia has dealth with it so effectively, but it would be foolish to pretend that we are immune to it also (for this is exactly what happened when the virus broke out in Wuhan, China: America, for example, looked on without action. It was only three months after the initial outbreak in March that restrictions were called for, and by this time, the virus had already landed on American shores). And so, it is clear that remaining informed is part of our common duty as a global citizen, to call on our governments when we see injustice, and to hold them accountable when we feel they are failing us.
It is therefore clear that society requires a unifying body of authority, in the form of government. But while they are responsible for implementing practices that keep its people safe, it is also the duty of the citizens to remain informed and to keep government accountable where they may be lacking. At the end of the day, despite our geographical, policial or social differences, we are all human. We all share a common goal for a healthy, functioning society that cares for its people.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Happiness and Work Ethic, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: "IT'S 5AM, I'M UP. ARE YOU?"
There's a guy on Instagram - former Marines serviceman, now motivational and military coach - who's posts are characterised by black and white images of a clock reading "5:00am" alongside aggressive capitalised captions instilling encouragement and motivation into the viewer. Or at least, they're supposed to stir the viewer to action.
Working out at the crack of dawn sort of action. While I could debate the effectiveness of this approach and how the audience's response varies from person to person, I think there's something else worth outlining here: this is one little example of what we have come to know as "hustle culture".
Hustle culture is a term to describe the entrepreneurial bloggers, young professionals and multi-hyphenate 20-somethings who find an identity in producing product 24/7, where every action of their day should contribute to their business. What might have started as a joking "we stay grinding bro" (colloquial) has evolved into a toxic behaviour where productivity is valued above all else. These people wake up at 5am, idolise high profile persons such as Tim Ferriss or Gary Vee (to the point of copying their daily routines to the iota), while also managing to share this all online (whether or not this is fuelled by a need for validation and presenting an image of success is a conversation for another time).
There are certainly merits to prioritising productivity, but this corner of the Internet only emphasises the effects of capitalism: we, as people, are valued only when we are producing something that can make us money; we are only valuable when we are working.
While this paints a very generalised brush over such a large group of (mostly well- intentioned people), such a "workaholic" approach can be very unhealthy. Most prominent is the blatant disregard it places on people, as people - there is little emphasis for wellbeing or relationship (unless it has been scheduled into the weekly calendar). And pushing for high volumes of productivity as such an anxiety-riddled time as this is frankly irresponsible. Promiting such a lifestyle places undue pressure on people, without allowing breathing room for feeling emotions.
The uncertainty of the current quarantine climate has forced many employees into being furloughed. The consequent financial stresses, on top of the the general tension and fear that comes with a (sometimes politicised) global pandemic, has resulted in a collective feeling of uncertainty. In such a time, productivity is the wrong actions to call for.
There are merits to staying busy - as someone who likes to busy myself, I'm trying to view the extra time at home as an opportunity to pursue various crafts and hobbies that I've always wanted to: I've dusted off the sewing machine, I've finally started working at the accumulating books on the shelf, I've learnt how to make pasta. I've always enjoyed trying new things - the cabinet downstairs features trophies from volleyball, dancing, karate. The sunroom holds a piano, three guitars, two bass guitars, a keyboard and a clarinet. The adage, jack of all trades, master of none, comes to mind.
But now, eight (ten? twelve?) months into social isolation, I too am growing restless. I'm recognise that I am lucky to remain sheltered, happy and employed, but I realise that people are at different stages. One of the lessons I've learnt in recent years is that everyone has a story to tell, and people deserve the complexity and nuance of being human, and all the messy emotion that it brings.
There is a global pandemic raging outside my doorstep, and the world is collectively on pause. No one is bounding ahead of everyone, and it is important to acknowledge each other's feelings. We should not use this time to judge others - for we all cope and process situations in different ways. Above all, we should not lose our humanity. I truly believe balance is the key to everything - it is the reason that I maintained sports and music and other extracurriculars alongside my education. We should not hold each other to ridiculous standards (in the productivity sphere or otherwise). Rather, we should view each other as humans, and take the time to listen and care for each other. Taking the time to call loved ones and check in on each other might be more productive than we think.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Humour, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: To explore the matter of humour, one should ponder on the essence of what makes a subject, remark or statement humorous. We laugh for a myriad of reasons; to please those around us, to express an emotional response to a situation, to create a change in the world, to conceal fear or to stand bravely in the face of our troubles, fears and and misery. But amidst all the aformentioned forms of expressing oneself, one notices the way our condition is exerting effort to try and survive in an ever harsh reality; the reality of our existence.
One could contend that laughter is a major cause of misunderstanding. In the various interactions we have in daily life, our nature arguably contains a sense of hypocrisy; we act contrary to how we feel. But that is a survival instinct, and a dangerous one at that. Consider one who is subtly insulted on the way they carry themself. One could show vehemence at the situation and reveal their sense of rage or sadness, ask why the person directed such a remark at them, but the smarter choice as most of us learn in our journey to adulthood is to 'laugh it off'; simply laugh along with the crowd. With an objective look into the other person's mind, however, we may find that they meant no harm, perhaps they were trying to engage in conversation, form a closer bond. Following this line of thought, the person may interpret the laughter of the other person as a sign of acceptance, that they indeed are growing closer to one another. Here misunderstanding is bred, strong feelings are concealed under the facade of laughter. We learn on the journey of life through experience to conceal certain feelings and show outwardly otherwise, but perhaps in some instances expressing onself trumps laughter.
Then again, in many instances, laughter may be the better option. One laughs at oneself, at the misfortune riddled in their fortune is one who has has a different, brighter outlook on life. The philosophies of Kikergaard were founded on laughter; 'I opened my eyes, looked at the world and laughed, laughed at how courtesy was to say thank you after a meal, how love is to get married, how one has to get a good career'. Laughter is therefore a way to ridicule our fragile existence. One has to utilize the emotional response that is laughter to rationalise the world around them. Instead of succumbing to despair, and lamenting over the minute irritants of daily life, the social norms we have to adhere to, the loss of career, the break of relationship, a stronger response as Kiekergaard would agree, is to laugh at it and despite it.
Laughter may indeed be, in many instances, a show of one's joy. But in awkward and displeasing situations, its an action of avoidance. Such avoidance gives rise, in the long run, to feelings of hatred. And so it may be wiser to suppress such laughter and to express onself's thoughts and desires. Laughter is better utilized as a instrument of reflection, an instrument of coping with the mystery of our being; one that gives the mind a nudge to continue despite the struggles and miseries. Thus before one expresses a sense of humor and elation, one should reflect on the consequences.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is The Usefulness of History, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: In schools, history lessons are not communicated to us as reflecting the nature of our being, but rather experiences of people who seem to have lived in the distant past, and who contribute little to our present life. Upon reflection however, one may discover that the pas is more intimate to us if viewed through a different lens; a lens that magnifies the nature of our condition.
History conveys to us the peaks and troughs to which all eras are arguably inevitably prone to. Take for instance the common perception that certain aspects of modern times are corrupt beyond repair; the totalitarian governments, the wicked politicians, the raging racism and the bickering between nations. Now a common man would lament on the state of the present. One may have been taught of the myriad of wars and conflicts that ravaged past societies; but have we thought of utilizing the past to deduce to make sense of the present? The philosopher Hegel proposed, through the study of history, that progress constitute of a ‘thesis’ and an ‘antithesis’, both of which eventually find a point of ‘synthesis’. Progress is never linear, as Hegel would say. The Athenian society were proponents of free thought but they lacked in the area of discipline and organisation. The Persians were well-versed on discipline and were therefore able to conquer the Athenians on the battlefield. Yet, the Persians were dispotic enemies of free thought, which with time became its own liability. Only after a period of time was the point of ‘synthesis’ found in the form of the Roman empire. The crux of the matter is: history viewed through this lens changes our perceptions of the present. We are merely, as Hegel would agree, in a point of anti-thesis that has not yet reached a synthesis.
Narrowing down the scale of things, one may find that history’s utility may lie not just in its application to world peace and justice, but in our daily lives. From the lives of others, one learns to better travail through their own. Consider Hobbes’ philosophical perspective on the ‘state of nature’; a state where humans in bear skin pre civilisation times beat one another with tools, and lived a life that was ‘nasty, brutish and short’. We possess animalistic instincts just as well as the rational mind. The spirited portion of the ‘tripartite soul’ that Plato assigned us all is capable of transforming a paradise into a hellish existence. And so the line of though follows that, upon learning of the state of our ancestors, who weren’t gifted the chance to reflect on the experiences of other human creatures, one may consider controlling their anger, lust, greed and jealousy. With the wealth of history at our hands, one may learn to distinguish the right from wrong, the evil from the good, and the fulfilling from the miserable.
History is not a simple study subject. Our approach to history should be transformed to a philosophical exploration. Why should we not learn from the wealth of the experiences at our hand when humans in the past may have wished to find such direction? As one flips through the pages of the past, we learn more about the nature of our condition, the infirmities we are born with, the emotions that ravage through our lives, the actions that lead to harsh consequences and the key to pave a way riddled, not with misfortune, but with fulfilling our higher needs. We need not only pursue materialistic possessions that quench the thirst and fill the hunger, but aim to achieve a calm and peaceful state of mind. In the process, we may find ourselves entangled in the ‘antithesis’, but as Hegel would assure us, there
eventually will be a point of ‘synthesis’.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Gossip, the prompt/s are - Whoever gossips to you, will gossip of you and here is the essay: Oscar Wilde once quipped “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” In essence, Wilde was correct in proposing that while our human nature is programmed to dislike the idea of being spoken about behind our backs, it is a crucial element of our lives. This is evident in multiple facets throughout the progression of our lives. Firstly, during our youth and early adulthood, we are absorbed by gossip which forms a critical part of selling goods. Secondly, during our adult life, where nepotism and positive recommendations are valuable in career progression. And lastly, in our elderly years where we are aware that gossip exists, however, we care less about it.
Gossip has been a prominent social tool since the beginning of human cognition, and it will continue for generations to come which highlights the importance of understanding its prominent role in society.
Gossip and rumours form a significant portion of our early social interactions. The act of gossiping is inescapable in today’s society when we consider all of the technology, journalism and marketing schemes which we are continuously exposed to. For example, an American study has concluded that we are exposed to at least ten thousand advertisements daily, many of which we are consciously unaware of. Large corporations invest millions of dollars into marketing campaigns yearly and gossip is a free form of marketing which is created through making products desirable to certain demographics, often young individuals which are generally easier to convinced that they need a certain product.
Therefore, it is evident that from a marketing perspective that the worst possible situation is not that products are being gossiped about, but that they are not.
Gossip forms a very crucial role in our working lives and in our career progression. In order to attain bonuses and promotions in our careers, we often need to be recognised for our work. In this sense, we often advertise ourselves and gossip about our own work to other influential people in corporations who have close connections to higher individuals with more power. If our name and hard work gets circulated to the right people, we have a much better chance of attaining the promotions and bonus we all look forward to. Also, in the case of nepotism when we use our family name or connections to attain better positions, we rely on gossiping in order to be connected with the right people. In this sense, it is evident that gossiping is a crucial part of career progression and our professional development.
During our elderly years we are well-aware of the way in which society operates and that gossip is becoming an even more prominent aspect of our daily lives. The majority of the people who are reaching the end of their earthly lives have become accustomed and desensitised to the impact of gossip on their own lives. Their priorities shift from being absorbed in the business of other people to caring for themselves and enjoying the final years that they have on Earth. They often serve as exemplary individuals of how to live life due to their unmatched experience. The focus that the elderly place on human interaction, togetherness, time with family and friends and enjoying the smaller things in life should serve as a blatant reminder for all of us that gossiping and material wealth will never make us rich at heart.
In closing, it is evident that Wilde was correct in proposing that it is much worse to be unnoticed and forgotten than to be gossiped about. This is evident in our youth where we are constantly at the mercy of marketing campaigns which heavily rely on gossiping and the spread of information in order to sell products. Also, during our adult life where career progression, attaining bonuses and nepotism all require gossip in order to thrive. And lastly, in our elderly years when we are actively conscious of the role of gossiping in society but choose to refocus our energy and time on the more important aspects of life like spending time with loved ones. Through the progression of our lives we understand the lessening importance of gossip as we get older, however, we should all attempt to recognise that aimless gossiping will not advance us in any positive way no matter our age.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Fortune and Friendship, the prompt/s are - Misfortune shows those who are not really friends and here is the essay: Aristotle once quipped that “misfortune shows those who are not really friends.” In essence, Aristotle was correct in proposing that during our darkest times our true friends will emerge, and those who choose to surround us for their own personal gains will vanish. This concept is evident in many facets of our lives. Firstly, during wartime, where nationalism will always prevail any allegiance formed with external nations. Secondly, in politics, where political expediency will be at the forefront and will far supersede any friendly bond. And lastly, within our own lives, during some of the most difficult circumstances, we will think we have a supportive network only to realise that it is predominantly a feign.
The unique global symptoms of any war, which include the concurrent battle against an enemy force and the economic challenges faced by a nation, will result in the emergence of nationalistic virtues. This principle was clearly evident during World War 2, where Winston Churchill’s reliance on Australian troops at the front line was sadly a protectionist measure for his own soldiers. He demanded that the ANZAC diggers land at the shores and form the initial attack against the enemy force, only for the United Kingdom soldiers to enter afterwards and take the glory. While I do not considered success or winning to be metrics of war, clearly, during these times of heightened anxiety and financial hardship the human condition traces itself back to its homeland where there is a feeling of safety and security, and this emotive expression will always supersede our so-called duty to our allies.
Ruthlessness and callousness have become synonymous with politicians, almost as much as dishonesty. It is no secret that politicians will place expediency at the forefront of their every move and are more than willing to void any shred of morality in their bid to attain political supremacy. In the past ten years alone, we have seen numerous politicians within Australia backstab and whitewash the leaders of their own political party in order to attain a taste of a higher position. Unfortunately, it is these individuals who hold some of the highest and most influential positions in society, and these are the very character traits that they are teaching other young individuals to believe that is what it takes to achieve success. It is undoubtable that politicians will use the misfortune of their closest ‘friends’ for their own gains, however, setting this precedent for other individuals in society is absolutely unacceptable and shameful.
Misfortune in our own lives highlights the people who are truly our friends, and those who are only present for their own gains. Living in a democratic society, our psyches are shaped from a young age to believe that with hard work we can achieve anything that we dream of. Of course, this is not possible and the more material possessions we accumulate, the more dissatisfied we become with our current situations. The incidence of mental health disorders and suicide is rising at an exponential rate in developed nations which begs the questions as to why this is the case. Undoubtably, it is the result of a constant pressure from those around us, through our own comparisons to other people’s success, that we constantly feel the need to achieve and earn more. If we were truly living in a society where we all exuded a sense of community, love and caring, there would be much less misfortune and the idea of a friend would be much more meaningful than the fake associations it carries today.
In conclusion, it is evident that Aristotle was correct in inferring that misfortune will highlight the people who are our true friends, and in doing so, also the people who are not. This can be seen during wartime, where our expression of the human condition inspires us to default back to nationalistic values. Secondly, within politics, where there are no such things as friends and the character traits of deceit, manipulation and ruthlessness unfortunately filter down to the lay population. And lastly, through our participation in democratic societies, where we are all promised that we can achieve the world however this is only possible when we capitalise on the misfortune of others. We should all be striving for a world in which friendship bears the true meaning that the word entails, and in doing so, there will be a much lower rate of misfortune experienced among us.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Democracy, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Democracy: To do or not to do
As a multifaceted construct of society, politics have always been a central component in the organisation of nations and its people. Since the introduction and evolution of democracy, it appears that society has finally found the ultimatum for an ideal ruling method. However, despite the merits of democracy, power of the people are limited and subject to undue influence by individuals of power. Often political parties alludes to fairness to all but upon closer inspection, the power of voting may not be significant as one believes.
Since its birth in ancient Greek city of Athens, it has been a revolutionary and egalitarian method of ruling. No longer shall we suffer under the tyranny of dictatorships! Indeed, when compared to the other systems of ruling in other nations, democracy certainly appeals to the majority in terms of equality and freedom. The ubiquitous government of North Korea demonstrates the horrors of dictatorship and restriction of freedom of its citizens. At a memorable TED-talk a few months ago, Yeoung-Su Kim, a refugee who has escaped across the border into Northern China, talks about the plight of individuals pinned under the relentless government. Freedom of choice is a fundamental human right that is entitled to all, yet millions in the world do not have access to this.
The strong control of government can also be exemplified by China’s internet censorship, more affectionately known as the “Great Firewall of China”. Deeming sites that allow free speech and foreign involvement as a danger to the central party and policies, the government tightens its grip on the webpages and content its 1.3 billion people can access, in an attempt to maintain control and dispel ideas of overthrowing the government. In contrast, a democratic government is one where individuals are entitled, sometimes enforced to vote for future leaders and politicians, in a healthy representation and competition between major contending political parties.
Nonetheless, despite democracy’s appearance of individual power, upon close analysis it is found that the vote does little to sway the momentum of the government. Often, democratic governments engage in activities to lull the individuals into a false sense of satisfaction and involvement. This was illustrated by the current futility of individuals protesting for gun reforms and regulations in the United States of America. Following the tragedy of the mass shooting at the Stoneman D High school in Florida, where 17 people were killed, distraught survivors resolved to change the loose gun regulations that is currently in place in America. However, despite an overwhelming response for the ban of
assault rifles such as ones used in mass shooting, the government is nonchalant and dismisses the protests and meetings as meaningless and irrelevant.
The Australian Same sex marriage survey was also a demonstration of governments attempting to lure its citizens into believing that democracy was taking place when big legislatures are being changed. The multibillion program was essentially- a survey, where the final say still lies within the power of the government. By involving the people, it enables a false sense of empowerment and government satisfaction.
Ultimately, although aspects of democracy outweighs the detriments of other ruling systems, it is not inherently perfect. Democratic actions often sway the individuals involved into a false sense of involvement and action, when in reality it is still those with power who make the final call.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Beauty, the prompt/s are - Things are beautiful if you love them and here is the essay: THE BEAUTY WITHIN
Across the ages, beauty standards have radically changed from the large wigs worn by aristocrats of the 19th century to the designer clothes worn by the models of today. However with the improvement of every day life and the subsequent extension of the human lifespan due to upgraded healthcare systems, the focus on aesthetically beauty has dramatically increased as people find ways to live, not necessarily how to survive. Within this channelling of focus on physical beauty those that are particularly invested are the young people of today. Paired with the extension of the average lifespan, the sudden rise in social media has created a public platform in which young people constantly compare and denigrate their self worth in comparison to the unachievable goals set by professional fitness models online. What comes as a consequence to these constant toxic comparisons are the highest rates of depression amongst the young generation culminating in a degraded valuing of life; and in some cases, even suicide. Amidst this sole focus on physical beauty, the young need to remember that “things are beautiful if you love them.”
John Keats once stated “Beauty is truth - truth, beauty. That is all Ye known on earth, and all ye need to know.” The ‘truth’ that John refers to is not of philosophical substance; rather it is a reference to the personal and intimate nature of beauty itself. Although beauty does exist in its physical form, it takes many other forms which need to be appreciated and respected. There is a notion that beauty in its purest form resides in the heart, and is shown to the world through actions and words. This beauty is an innate trait inherent to every single human being, but is hidden from the eye of the beholder. As Ben Johnson claimed “underneath this stone doth we, as much beauty as could die,” the young people of today should be more open in accepting the goodness in the beauty within themselves, and not try to solely derive beauty from their physical appearance.
Regarding the topic of goodness and its relation to beauty Leo Tolstoy highlighted the fundamental flaw in understanding their relationship in recognising how “it is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” Tolstoy, although much before our time was able to predict the current attitudes and reception regarding beauty in the modern world. There is a widely held biased perception in modern society that those who are more physically attractive have traits and characteristics that make them appear as being more ‘morally sound.’ However, it needs to be addressed that this is a large misconception, having its roots in the history of racism and prejudice against black people. Before the civil rights movement in America and the infamous marches and protest led by Martin Luther King and Rosa Parke’s, black people were enslaved purely on the basis that their skin was dark; hence socially and morally lower than the rest of the human race. This type of moral judgement based on the colour of ones skin is prevalent all over the world, whereby black people are looked upon as if crime and violence is an inherent part of their being, and Asian people are stereotyped and mistreated. However much like Tolstoy’s comment mentioned earlier, this is a misconception and a dangerous view to hold. This very tendency to denigrate and discriminate against other purely on their physical appearance and the colour of their skin represents a social view that is outdated and insensitive at best. In a world where values of unity and progression are cherished more than ever, derogatory claims of oppression based on physical beauty cannot coexist in the same social sphere. Therefore if we were to build a society that values the mental and emotional health of each and every individual, it would be crucial to eradicate all forms of discrimination based on physical beauty, and instead develop an accepting and appreciative stance towards individualistic representations of beauty.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Utilitarianism, the prompt/s are - It is the greatest good to the greatest number of people which is the measure of right and wrong ~ Jeremy Bentham and here is the essay: Utilitarianism, a theory that believes in the greater good to greater numbers than what may be morally right or wrong as per our autonomy. However, categorical imperatives, a more central philosophical concept I agree with, argues otherwise; you must follow moral obligations derived from pure reason, regardless of your desires, religious beliefs or values.
Despite this, many countries enact honour killings in the name of the greater good of the community rather than the individual’s autonomous rights, which is ethically wrong.
Killing innocent human beings to make the world a better place is ethically and morally wrong as each individual has an equal right to autonomy. Unitarianism has benefits in that it states that good consequences is due to good actions. However, one can argue that consequences that seem good for the wider community, may in fact be wrong in that it disregards to your intentions, as well as compromises your right to autonomy. Such an example can be seen in a case of the death of Qandeel Baloch, the Kim Kardashian of Pakistan who was strangled to death by her brother in 2016 in the name of honour killing as he believed she brought shame to the family and community due to the pictures and videos she uploaded of herself on social media. This comes as a shock as Pakistan is said to be one of the youngest democratic countries, however, has been found to have the highest number of documented and estimated honour killings per capita in any country of the world. A documentary by BBC showed that many members of the society expected it as it is a consequence of her actions. For many years, people were able to get away with the murder if the killing was forgiven by the family as it was considered to bring back the reputation of the family and was for the greater good of the community. However, it took a celebrity’s death and 3 years to change the law in order to prohibit such an atrocious act and bring her justice. Did she deserve to die just because of posting pictures and videos of herself on social media?
Philosopher Immanuel Kant proclaimed “We’re not mere objects that exists to be used by others. We’re our own ends. We’re rational and autonomous. We have the ability to set our own goals, and work towards them.” So, to treat someone as an end in herself means to recognize the humanity of the person you’re encountering, to realize she has goals, values, and interests of her own, and you must, morally, keep that in mind in your encounters with her. Actions should not be taken for the greater good but for the good of all. Every individual has a right to a life. We should not be manipulated or manipulate others autonomous agents for our own benefits.
Decisions made for the greater good may sound like an ideal option, however, it is one not to be considered. Ideologies based on religious or political beliefs will always have a particular
side it favours more. Every individual deserves an equal right to autonomy. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “The only real, dignified, human doctrine is the greatest good of all.”. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Marriage, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: I heard my parents fighting, once again. Day or night, it didn’t matter. It had become a constant thing. I could hear my mother’s screams. My father would hit my mother for even the smallest reasons such as the food having less salt. I would try to break it up but would always get pushed to the side. I would cry all night watching my mother suffer. I wished to have a family that was loving. It would hurt when friends would talk about the love between their parents and family. If only, I could have something similar if not the same. My mother didn’t get a choice as to who she could marry. It was all arranged.
However, finally the day came when my mother took a stand and got a divorce. She was segregated from the entire family as divorce is seen as a disgrace in the Indian society. Marriage being considered such a sacred bond; they believe it to be a bad omen if someone breaks this bond. But at least my mother was safe now. It was not until then she found peace and soon enough fell in love with another man that she is immensely happy with. It is from this I’ve realised the importance of love when forming an eternal bond with someone.
Marriage is one of the norms established by people, which reflect attitude, beliefs and behaviors. Marriage is an interpersonal relationship with communal or religious acknowledgment which is often created as an agreement. Marriage is rooted effectually in almost every society except where common law partners are recognized. It is the bond that exclusively consents a sexual relationship, especially in collectivist countries where sex before marriage is considered a sin, likewise some societies, especially collectivist countries also require official approval of religious or civil body. Across cultures, the anatomies of ancestral standards are different. Beliefs of what comprises a family are based on culture, dynamics, assets, and ethics. In many cultures, extended family which includes married couples staying in the home of their parents is a form of showing love and respect for example in Pakistan; marriage is also basis for having children in those societies. My mother always said that “successful marriage depends on two things: finding the right person yourself and being the right person”.
From my mother’s experience, I learnt how important it is to be love and be loved. She taught me on how to disregards society’s opinions and live a life of my own. It’s important to ensure who you’ll be securing this eternal bond with as it could have a huge impact on the quality of your life. Helen Keller said “Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same”.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Corruption, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: The value of a good, robust, honest government must never be underestimated, because a government can make or break its nation. By definition, a government has the purpose of organising, controlling and allocating tasks to its people and ensuring the country is doing the best it can with whatever resources it has, but there are certain limits that must be placed to ensure this control is at peace with individual privacy. A good government influences the quality of life within its country, as plenty of poorly-living nations in our current day can be linked back to a poorly functioning, corrupt government.
Corrupt governments will lead to poor living standards in any country, making it crucial that we constantly monitor the bodies that govern us and fight for our rights when they are breached by the government. The Middle East, a pot of multiculturalism currently devoid of any proper governance, is a perfect example of how corruption at the government level trickles down and affects its people severly, in aspects such as education, standard of living and happiness levels. Iraq was ruled by Saddam Hussain in the late 20th and early 19th century, and for the longest time people respected that president and praised his steadfast approach, his commitment to his people, and his motivation in addressing the atrocities occurring in Palestine. Iraq in that time was a prosperous country, and Baghdad, the capital, was said to be the Paris of the Middle East, all due to the high levels of education, wealth, and happiness levels of the people at the time. Now, Iraq is in a much worse condition, where mass unemployment is seen, poverty and homelessness are widespread, and many citizens are choosing to flee the country if they can, and this all comes back to the numerous leaders who have taken hold of the country and who have committed innumerable acts of corruption. Those leaders have shown many signs of corruption and are said to only think of their own monetary self interests, and we can indeed see the impact of this on education, happiness, and the overall condition of the nation. Poorly functioning governments clearly lead to poorly functioning societies and mass unrest, and only by addressing these corrupt governments can reform and a refresh be possible, in the hopes of bringing a country back to its feet
In allowing the government certain powers, one cannot help but wonder to what extent should the government control its people, because excessive levels of anything, even government power, can be detrimental. In his book Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell discusses this concept of an omntipresent, all knowing, goverernment whose control reaches deep into people's lives, their media, employment, residence and even as far as thoughts. The novel explores the detrimental possibilities of a government that controls too much, and teaches lessons about how individual privacy must be maintained, how thought must not be controlled by the government, and why democracy is an essential aspect of a successful modern-day society. As such, we now have reservations when it comes to government access to citizens' digital data, not least of which is the acquisiton of Australian Federal Police of rights in 2020 that allow certain government police officers to attain encrypted data from telecommunications companies. This raises up concerns because it means everything in social media and texting services can be decrypted and presented to the police. While the intention behind the Australian Government's motivation to do this is to track and prevent terrorist activities before they happen, it does mean a high risk of breaching of privacy if this falls into the wrong hands, because all it takes is one corrupt agent in this system for information to be leaked. The issue of "nanny state" and the concept of a government that controls too much, places too many laws is worthy of questioning, becuase a government should not control an aspect of life
merely because it can. Governments must have certain limits on life, and any probing of ones personal life must be very careful and monitored, with checks and balances, to avoid a dystopian world such as Orwell's.
In conclusion, the link between a good government and a good nation is clear, judging from the current events seen in the Middle east. A government has certain rights and abilities especially when it comes to individual privacy, but those powers must be continually checked and limited so that personal freedom, democracy, and human rights can be maintained, because a government that knows too much is detrimental to the happiness of its people.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Happiness, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: The pursuit of happiness is not impossible as some may claim, it is possible to be happy in this world and it is up to the individual to choose how to be happy and the things that lead them to happiness. It is unfair for those who choose to be athiests or those who choose to be productive to shove their ideas of what is purposeful and what it true down the throats of those who do not agree with their ideologies. What should be agreed on is that this life has meaning, and we must direct our efforts to achieve that, and surely any fun or entertainment on the side cannot do any harm.
You decide your lens through which you want to view this world, you decide your own purpose of life and your own values and what makes you happier. I often think about the meaning of life, but whether I was an atheist aiming to lead a purposeful, impactful life that betters humanity, or a religious person whose aim is to live morally and please the creator who has bless me, it does not matter what I choose as long as I, myself choose it, and as long as I have firm belief that I am doing the right thing by my own choice. Too often, people see life as meaningless, superficial, a distraction by a distraction from the distraction that is life, and frankly I do not resonate with that sort of pessimistic view. Yes, to you, going to work can be meaningless and just a waste of oxygen and effort, while to others work can be a means to raise children and provide for them, and a means to further humanity whether be it in the arts or in the sicence etc. We choose our own lens, and we can be optimistic and hopeful, or pessimistic and depressing, and only one of those is constructive and leads to endorphins in ones brain and a drive to live. The most important thing is to not be swayed by external influence and to have a firm belief in a purpose in this life. As a person of faith, I do not think it is right to condescend on the athiests around me and claim their lives as meaningless, nor do i think it is right for athiests to ridicule people of faith for their imbecility and naive thinking. We have a right to think our own thoughts and do whatever brings joy to our hearts, and no one has the right to choose what makes us happy and what doesn't.
Enjoying this life is a blessing, an opportunity, and we must use it as a tool to achieve our life goals. I see fun as a means to an end rather than an end in and of itself. I think it is impossible to be satisfied if we only focus on sensory experiences. As an example let's say I enjoy driving and thirst for the thrill of acceleration, I will make it a life goal to chase and own the fastest car there is, or if I was after wealth I'd make it my life goal to be rich, but what next? This is my opinion; I believe chasing worldly pleasures is an empty pursuit and I will never make it my life's central goal to enjoy what there is and always be having fun,but no one is obliged to agree nor will I force people to believe in this opinion. I see fun and good experiences as a tool to help me achieve my goal. My goal is to be as good a human as i can be, guided by fairness, thoughtfulness, love of family and love of God, and a drive to be excellent and better humanity. Any fun I have is merely on the side, supplementary, and merely there to improve my experience and help me to achieve what i believe is the aim of this life. This is why workaholics exist, they think their purpose is to work, and if they allocate all their time to work and none to have fun, then that is fair to me, as long as they feel happy and purposeful at work.
In conclusion, our lives are led by our own view of the world, and what is valued by us should be chosen by us, and we must only do what we believe is right, and only what brings us joy. I think it is most productive to have fun if it supplements and aids our central goal of life, whatever that is, as long as we do it with conviction and fairness.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Parenthood, the prompt/s are - There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience ~ Anatole Broyard and here is the essay: Often passed down by our parents is a certain definition of success, along with the required sense of discipline to fulfil it. Authoritarian parenting, colloquially known as tiger parenting, warps this definition in a way that has detrimental consequences on a child’s wellbeing. By setting overly demanding expectations that impose a parent’s needs on a child rather than facilitate the child’s own desires, authoritarian parenting culminates in a trade-off between happiness and success. This is a direct consequence of fostering extrinsic motivation in a child as opposed to intrinsic — the later of which upholds personal desires over appeasing external entities. Encouraging the development of intrinsic motivations in children, coupled with more supportive, authoritative parenting, curtails the discontentment that comes with inevitably failing to meet unrealistic parental expectations.
Imposing a preconceived idea of success on one’s child, instead of helping to facilitate their own, ultimately comes at the cost of their mental wellbeing. By neglecting children’s intrinsic desires, this imposition comes with overly demanding expectations that coerce a child into viewing the pursuit of success as a means of avoiding punishment rather than it being personally rewarding for them. Tiger parenting is a prescient example of this in how it and its various offshoots are renowned for their stringent forms of punishment if a child fails to meet the high expectations of their parent. In his autobiography entitled “Open”, Andre Agassi, a former worldwide #1 ranked mens tennis player, describes the continuous verbal and emotional abuse inflicted upon him throughout his childhood as a budding athlete. In the eyes of his father, missing the ball or hitting it into the net was not only a physical failure, but a moral one; one that warranted acute humiliation and endless drills against a ball-spitting machine Agassi’s father termed “the dragon”. Forced to prescribe to his father’s predetermined path to success, Agassi found himself losing his childhood entirely, prioritising his tennis ranking over his innate interests. The fact that he was still deeply unsatisfied with his life despite eventually ranking #1 worldwide in his adulthood — at last fulfilling his father’s astronomical expectations — serves as a testament to the dire consequences of authoritarian parenting. Raising a child to sacrifice happiness in favour of success is debilitative to their wellbeing and appeases only those who dictate such a mindset.
Fostering intrinsic forms of motivation in children, as opposed to extrinsic, ultimately sets them on a healthier path towards success — one that does not sacrifice their own mental wellbeing. Intrinsic motivation involves being driven to accomplish a task as a means of personal reward or fulfilling an innate desire. This starkly contrasts extrinsic motivation which is a key hallmark of tiger parenting. The extrinsic form involves pursuing tasks simply because they enable the participant to avoid punishment or appease an external entity.
While it is inevitable to act on both forms of motivation throughout one’s life, raising a child to prioritise the latter ultimately hinders their wellbeing by forcing them to sacrifice happiness as previously mentioned. The life of Andre Agassi yet again serves as a notable example of the way in which acting on one’s intrinsic motivations is more conducive to one’s overall wellbeing. After going through a depressive state despite ranking #1 worldwide in mens tennis, Agassi chose to retire and pursue a career in what he felt more innately passionate about — education. While founding a school ultimately went against his father’s wishes for him to remain an elite athlete, Agassi describes how he felt like he was finally living the life he wanted to live — not one that his father prescribed for him. Acting on intrinsic motivation thereby allows for one to determine their own path to success and self-satisfaction, which is vital for children to prioritise when navigating into adulthood.
It is essential to avoid the pitfalls of authoritarian parenting in its detrimental effects on mental wellbeing. Prescribing a preconceived idea of success on one’s child not only establishes unhealthy expectations, but also inhibits them from fostering their own innate desires. Intrinsic motivation, when facilitated by more supportive parenting, is the key to ensuring that children are able to pursue a definition of success that they themselves find meaningful.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Travel, the prompt/s are - A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it ~ George Moore and here is the essay: Travel, in the diversity of experience it affords, is often viewed as a means of ‘finding oneself’ and escaping monotonous daily routines. However, like any other form of escapism, there are risks inherent in overly relying on travel as a source of self-contentment. Doing so points towards an inability to confront personal dilemmas head-on, thereby developing the harmful habit of resorting to short-lived solutions for long-term problems. Viewing travel as a guaranteed source of happiness also ignores the reality of its unpredictable nature and establishes false expectations that, upon inevitably failing to be met, incite feelings of hopelessness that could have otherwise been avoided. It is therefore important to view travel as only a possible avenue to occasionally pursue in the seeking of self-satisfaction, rather than hastily packing our bags after experiencing the slightest inconvenience.
The physical distancing afforded by travel does not equate to distancing ourselves from our problems — in fact, we only bring our dilemmas along with us. While a change in environment can act as a short-term solution to alleviating issues such as a lack of self- confidence, the reality is that viewing travel as a quick-fix only inhibits us from prioritising long-term solutions that cater specifically to the environment we are used to. This is especially true in the wake of so-called “self discovery” tours promoted by travel agencies. Within these, tourists take part in activities such as hiking, bungee-jumping, or interacting with locals, all of which are advertised as instigators of profound personal development. For the tourist, these may certainly provide a newfound sense of confidence immediately after the fact, however upon returning to their original environment this can easily dissipate in the wake of their not knowing how to integrate these new insights into their daily lives.
These insights may also prove to be ineffective against the same factors of their original environment that instigated their personal issues in the first place. This highlights the importance of actively reflecting on one’s environment and prioritising solutions that combat its unique factors, rather than approaching travel as the be-all end-all solution to alleviating deeply ingrained issues.
Viewing anything as a guaranteed source of happiness is a surefire way of inciting unnecessary feelings of hopelessness once one’s expectations are inevitably not met — and the same applies to travel. The sense of hopelessness that one might already feel in regards to their daily life and wishes to alleviate by travelling would only be further compounded by failed expectations, consuming the individual in debilitating feelings of guilt and defeat. This is a harmful cycle that could have otherwise been avoided had the individual approached their journey knowing that travel is inherently unpredictable and thereby not a guaranteed source of satisfaction. The unpredictable nature of travel is due to the wide array of external factors at play, the majority of which the individual cannot control by any means. Such factors include the behaviour of others one might encounter while travelling, event cancellations, weather, etc. Banking something as significant as one’s happiness on such extraneous factors ultimately proves to be a futile, wasteful pursuit. This is not to say that the act of travelling is futile. It only results in wasted effort if the single variable that the individual can control — their expectations — is ignorant of reality.
In order for travel to be most productive, it must be approached with the knowledge that it does not hold priority over solutions to personal issues that cater specifically to one’s environment. Only when such an option has been exhausted to no effect should one opt to travel as a means of learning from other environments. In addition, travel should not be viewed as an arbiter of happiness due to the reality of its variable, extraneous nature. Travel ultimately does not equate to happiness, but rather serves an available stepping stone for one to explore should they see fit.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Technological Advancement, the prompt/s are - Technology is the science of arranging life so that one need not experience it and here is the essay: The Unseen and Blinding Veil of Technology
Echoed regularly throughout the media is the buzzword "disinformation age", referring to the extreme extent to which false information is regularly spread throughout the world, and its impact on society. Naturally, we as a race point the finger at the individuals spreading this false information, Facebook, modern tabloid news media and key social groups bearing the brunt of this blame. The reality is, the subtle but significant damage technology has done to our ability to interact with the world on a fundamental level is the cause, with these individuals who bear the blame simply being opportunists exploiting this situation.
True authentic interaction with the world has become a rare phenomena in modern times, with the intervening media of technology being the veil through which we experience much of our lives. At first glance, this is simply a worrying trend, which makes us more vulnerable to disinformation campaigns and efforts pervasive throughout modern communication platforms. The reality, however is that technology undermines us from an epistemological standpoint, interceding between reality and the knowledge it presents, and our own acquisition of that knowledge. From a psychological and biological perspective, we are no more advanced in many ways than we were thousands of years ago, and still rely chiefly, on our senses to gain knowledge. When an intervening media, such as technology intercedes between these two points - reality, and our experience of it, we become handicapped without even being aware of it.
This handicap becomes infinitely more sinister when we consider how adapted our brains are to filling in the blanks that are an unavoidable aspect of reality. We are unable to properly see when rapidly moving our eyes, and to account for this, our brain fills in the blanks created by this momentary loss of vision. This same interpretive gap filling also occurs with many of our interactions as a result of the limits of technology. A standard conversation via phone or text is devoid of body language, which our brain is sorely dependent on to generate and develop meaning, tone, and most importantly, emotional context. To handle this loss of information, just as with our loss of vision, we fill in the blanks to cope. This dependency on a limited scope of information to develop substantial meaning and context from an interaction is the cause of the disinformation we see present throughout modern society. Without even knowing it, we have lobotomized our ability to accurately and genuinely gather information and form opinions.
The resolution for this is not simple, human nature dictates that we will be unwilling to adopt any behavioral change which may inconvenience us. The failed attempts to enforce social distancing and masks throughout the COVID-19 crisis is testament to this.
Furthermore, the opportunities for disinformation this blikering of our senses has presented will continue to be ruthlessly exploited by those who stand to gain from it. While an answer is unclear, the fact remains constant - our pursuit of convenience and technological progress has in many ways, undermined our own ability to clearly and genuinely experience our lives. While our brain may compensate for this handicap, its effect on us at an individual and societal level remains steadfast, with further technological progress set only to further undermine our ability to interact with and understand the world in which we live. The machine does indeed plunge us more deeply than ever into the problems of our own nature.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Crime and Justice, the prompt/s are - If poverty is the mother of crime. stupidity is its father ~ Jean de La Bruyere and here is the essay: When Justice is Unjust.
Conviction rates, as a percentage for states, judges and prosecutors are often used as a yardstick by which the effectiveness of the judicial system which they follow, represent and are a part of are measured. Furthermore, one only needs to look at how startlingly high these conviction rates are, to assumedly feel a deep satisfaction as to how well our justice system, and its constituents operate. Yet, this also leads on to the logical claim by Charles Dudley that “the faculties for getting into jail seem to be ample. We want more organisations for keeping people out”. Indeed, when framed in this context, the true socio- political and moral issue at the heart of these high conviction rates is brought to light. As a society, a mark of the success of our system of government, and by extent the legal system by which it is enforced should be instead measured by how many people we do not place into jail, either by clemency, compassion or more importantly, a lack of necessity.
If one was to go a step further and take a deeper look into these offense and conviction rates, and separate them by race, gender, socioeconomic status or location of residence, it would show a clear bias towards the conviction and imprisonment of individuals of non- white racial heritage, low socioeconomic status or people who live in poor neighbourhoods. The first two points expand on Charles’ point, and show how our current justice system leans towards the imprisonment of certain groups of individuals in a far from fair, even or unbiased manner. Furthermore, just as statistics show crimes do occur in “clusters” by neighbourhoods, so too does this show the folly of imprisonment, whereby such offenders are all mixed together, influencing and corrupting one another further, dragging everyone down lower, to the lowest common denominator. While different security levels of prisons does ameliorate this effect to a degree, the nature of group imprisonment brought about by logistical necessity of housing a large number of individuals, means that such a group degradation to the lowest common denominator is inevitable. These then eventually released individuals often re-offend, brought about by a combination of further lowered socioeconomic status, as it is near impossible to hold a job throughout the course of a prison sentence, and social influences experienced whilst incarcerated. This self- perpetuating cycle is evident when exploring re-offense rates in criminals, violent or otherwise across even modern, democratic “first world” countries such as America and Australia, where depending on the nature of the crime, and location of incarceration, re- offense rates can rise to as high as 80% in the years following an inmates release.
However, just as Dudley presents a problem in his quote, the solution, too is given. To prevent this self-perpetuation cycle from continuing, we must end it before it happens. While the social security, and cohesion brough about by a society wide and police enforced legal system is necessary, this same system is in part, responsible for some of the very issues it seeks to prevent and resolve. Nietzsche quotes that “speaking generally. punishment hardens and numbs. it produces concentration. it sharpens the consciousness of alienation. it strengths the power of resistance”. It is therefore under this unique consideration that a more lenient and compassionate balance between existing measures of social cohesion and justice represented by the legal system, must be struck with necessity. In this case, the necessity to recognise that in part, justice must give way to efficacy, if we as a society are to truly live by the reformative goals we set forth when creating our justice system. We must lean more towards a reformative goal when sentencing, both in our eagerness to dish out prison sentences, and the nature by which those convicted must carry them out. If the influences in prison currently push inmates towards becoming re-offenders, then these influences too, can push them the opposite way. Criminals can be looked down upon as violent, cowardly, stupid and undeserving creatures, dehumanised all to easily by a population overzealous with retributive fervour. Yet the criminal who commits a crime without knowledge of the possible consequences is few and far between, and while they may not respect the law, they are aware of it. It can therefore be concluded that what Jean de La Bruyere states when he says “if poverty is the mother of crime. stupidity is its father”, is a half-truth. Poverty, or the necessity it brings about for crime may be its mother, but society itself is its father.. ###Response: 75-79 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Inequality, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Aiming for what seems to be unattainable is the only step forward towards advancement. Resolving issues regarding over-representation of Indigenous Australians in crime, detention and recidivism has always appeared to be one that was impossible. Although there have been previous attempts by the government to close such gaps, beneath the concept of blanket and band aid solutions towards doing so, underlies the perception that fixing these inequalities is easy. What the Australian government has failed to do early enough is acknowledge such issues exist to even create a goal to work towards and failed to acknowledge that these issues, although difficult, when achieved they result in a great step forward in reconciling with Indigenous Australians.
To even aim, we require a goal and that goal is created once we acknowledge there is room for improvement. On the 13th of February 2008, Australia made a significant step forward in doing so, by issuing a formal apology to the Indigneous Australian people for past mistreatment and wrongdoings, especially to the Stolen Generation. This symbolised the recognition of failure and the need for reconciliation in closing the gap whereby the inevitable inequalities and injustices against Indigenous Australians were a result of past mistreatment. The formal apology issued by the Australian government not only acknowledged and validated the experiences of Indigenous Australians, but it also acknowledged the need for improvement in what seemed to be an unattainable goal - to completely close the gap between non-Indigenous and Indigenous people of Australia. This first step allowed for the establishment of goals to aim for, which is far more important than achieving them because what is the point of aiming when you do not know where to aim?
The next step forward towards advancing Indigenous relations were the systematic changes to account for the historical injustices and inequalities that resulted from past mistreatment. Not to mention the cultural bias in the criminal justice system, the overrepresentation of Indigneous Australians in crime and recidivism rates are just one of many issues that the government are aiming to tackle. The Koori Court was implemented in several states aiming to reduce crime and in particular, recidivism rates of Aboriginal Australian youth. The Koori courts reflect the cultural differences, bias and discrimination of the law that Indigenous Australian youth face when confronted with the current criminal justice system, thereby creating a much more culturally appropriate and effective method of sentencing youths who have pled guilty. Some may argue that this is an easy way out of some sort, however what they fail to recognise is the years of systemic oppression that Indigneous Australians have faced historically and the impacts it had on the current statistics of crime and recidivism rates. The gap is yet to be fully closed thus demonstrating the difficulty of repairing years of systemic oppression, however the results appear to be positive in reducing recidivism rates among Aboriginal youth.
Just like how the moon landing was an idea so difficult and unattainable, once it was accomplished, humanity saw a great advancement in society and science. This analogy applies similarly to the idea of reducing the overrepresentation of Indigenous Australians as an attempt to reconcile and take responsibility for the years past mistreatment and oppression by the government. Acknowledging the problem and establishing a goal was the first step, now we must move forwards in implementing systematic changes in not only crime, but health, education and land right to make a significant advancement in closing the inequality gap between non-Indigenous and Indigenous Australians today.. ###Response: 80-84 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Racism, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: Racial stereotypes even in "humourous" contexts, encompasses larger underlying implications of Eurocentricity thus making the use harmful. Often, these racial stereotypes are used as a mild form of microaggression towards people of colour and perpetuates the harmful normality and standard of caucasians. Furthermore, when such stereotypes that were previously used to make fun of or tease people of colour, are made to be trends and popular by those who made fun, highlights the complete disregard and invalidation of the experiences that people of colour have and are facing.
Unintentional or not, microaggression contributes to the large underlying subtle racism and eurocentric normality that exists in our society. Microaggression, daily verbal and behavioural remarks that are often subject to racial stereotypes. As a person of colour, there are numerous times where I have heard joking comments about my apparent surprising fluency in English although it is my first language. Such comments that appear to be a joke or a compliment at face value, have much more harmful implications associated with it. In particular, when I have qualities that appear to go against my racial stereotype, some people appear surprised or amused. The hidden "us and them" mentality behind these comments perpetuates the divisive nature of caucasians versus people of colour. Furthermore, there is an assumptive idea that being caucasian, or having the qualities of a caucasian is the norm or standard - which is again, extremely harmful in creating a harmonious and open society.
Cultural appropriation in fashion or beauty trends over the past few years have displayed the harmful nature of using cultural elements as humour. Due to the increasing prevalence of social media in current times, the awareness and perhaps "exposé" of previous cultural appropriation has come to surface. One prime example is the use of "blackface" in comedy whereby actors or comedians paint their entire face black to replicate and make fun of black people and their mannerisms. Although it may have been funny in the 20th century, the increasing awareness of cultural appropriation has condemned blackface as offensive and unhumourous. A more recent example would be the "fox-eye" trend on social media whereby certain makeup techniques and poses are applied to make the eye look more slanted - the exact same way Asians were primarily made fun of in the past. The problem with taking cultural characteristics and making them a trend is that often these cultural characteristics were used with derogatory and offensive intent in the past to perpetuate racism.
Although ongoing, the continuous cultural appropriation of racial stereotypes are harmful and contribute to the underlying racist, eurocentric sphere of society. In a society where explicit racism is frowned upon, we must draw our attention to the implicit and subtle racism that goes on strong. Especially types of microaggression whether they are verbal or behavioural have extremely dangerous implications due to their frequent and "undetectable" nature. By focusing on moving away from a eurocentric normality mindset and aim to create and accept multicultural norms of many cultures.. ###Response: 80-84 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Democracy, the prompt/s are - Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. and here is the essay: A fundamental assumption in the democratic process is that of equality - equality of votes and voters. That every vote cast has the same weight and bearing on the outcome, billions of equally weighted votes falling in unison like billions of rain drops. However, when we examine democracies around the world, this assumption is undermined. In Australia, elections usually come down to a few swing seats, so voters living in those electorates have a greater bearing on the outcome than those in a safe seat. In the United States, due to the electoral college, a vote cast in Wyoming is counted for more than a vote cast in California. And during slavery, ensalved Americans were counted as 3/5s of a person drastically changing the distribution of population and thus votes. Yet, despite this, Australia and the United States are seen as firm democratic societies that advocate for democracy. This begs the question, how important is equality of votes and voters in a functioning democracy? Equality of votes in a democractic society is paramount, however there are circumstances where weighting votes is appropriate. Overall, (conflict between idealised democracy and real a democracy)
This essay will examine this question in three ways. First, it will argue for equality of votes in a democratic society. Second, it will examine cases where weighting votes is appropriate. Finally, it will look at the conflict between idealised democracy and a real democracy.
Firstly, equality of votes is incredibly important in a functioning democracy because it allows all citizens to be heard regardless of gender, education, wealth or race. Systems that only allow the wealthy to vote (such as the United States in the 1770s where only landowners could vote) inevitable only benefit the wealthy while the rest of society is forgotten. When more groups are brought into the democratic process in a fair and equal way, issues they care about become important and (hopefully) laws follow. Statements like “we the people” are not true when they exclude majority of the population. Thus, a democracy must allow all citizens to vote in an equal manner.
Secondly, on the other hand, there is an argument that votes should be weighted based on certain characteristics - primarily age. For example, in the 2016 Brexit referendum majority of citizens over 70 voted to leave the EU whilst majority of citizens under 40 voted to remain.
Given the economic, social, and political impacts of England leaving the European Union is it really fair for those under 40 to be living with the consequences of a decision that was made by those who will probably not live to see its impact? Here it is important to draw a distinction between elections and referendums. Elections are used to vote in politicians that will make laws based on the will of the people. Elections are constrained by terms limits, meaning that in 3 or 4 years politicians can be removed. However, referendums like Brexit,are an example of direct democracy and there is no term limit on the outcome. The UK will not go to the polls in another 4 years to re-vote on Brexit, like they would an election, and whilst referendums can be undone and the UK could rejoin the EU, it will be decades before that could realistically occur. Thus, given the finality of a referendum that occurrs every few decades, the argument to weight votes based on age is compelling.
Finally, here we come to the crux of the issue around equality of votes in a democracy - the conflict between reality and idealism. In an ideal democracy, all votes will be counted equality, but in reality that is not possible. For example, in the United States, if everyone voted directly for the President the votes in cities (generally more liberal) will outnumber the votes in rural areas (generally more conservative) and thus, the President will almost always be more liberal and may not sympathetic to the cause of the conservatives which effectively eliminates their votes and voices entirely. In a referendum, ideally every vote should count equally but if the outcome will shape the country for decades then weighting should be given to the younger generation that will live with the consequences. However, any politician will be comitting career suicide by suggesting to weight votes, even if it is the fairer thing to do - another conflict between the ideal and reality.
We often picture democracy as a perfect system developed by the Ancient Greeks on Mt Olympus that cannot be touched or changed. However, the reality is that democracy is messy, imperfect, and constantly changing. If we aim for a perfect democracy then we will fall far short. Instead we should accept the flaws in the system, and strive to have a flexible system where some elections allow weighting of votes and others do not depending on the circumstance. The fundamental tennent of democracy is not the equality or votes, it the the ability of votes to cause change, it is our responsibility to ensure that change is decided in a fair way that reflects the will of the majority.. ###Response: 80-84 |
###Instruction: You are an essay marker for the GAMSAT Section II. Please mark the following essay fairly and consistently. ###Input: The theme is Humour, the prompt/s are UNKNOWN and here is the essay: If you ask someone what they look for in a partner one of the top three responses has to be “a sense of humour”. This is because humour, laughter, witt, and comedy are ingrained in our society and communication. Politicians who can write humourous speeches are seen are more “down to earth” and “relatable” which increases their popularity. Little kids get so excited and proud the first time they make up a joke. And I have more than one male friend who can’t wait to become a dad so they can embarrass their children with Dad jokes. The essay will explore the role of humour in our society and the impact it has on our way of communicating and subsequent consequences.
Firstly, humour is an excellent tool in communication because it makes a story or point more memorable and significant. For example, over the last four years under the Trump Presidency, late night shows such as Stephen Colbert and Seth Myers have gained significant popularity due to their ability to convey complex political stories in a digestable way using humour. As such, audiences are more engaged and likely to remember the key aspect of a story and relate it to friends and family extending the political conversation. On a soceital level, humour is a great tool to aid communication and enhance human interactions.
On the other hand, the use of humour in communication can have the opposite effect, where instead of enhancing a point it undermines it. I noticed this when I lived in the Netherlands. During that time whenever I was in engaged in a difficult conversation I would crack a joke to lighten the mood. My Dutch friends thought this was extremely strange and rude, infact I would be accussed of not taking a matter seriously. I came to learn that I use humour as a way to hide my true emotions and feelings and shy away from difficult conversations. I believe the use of humour in this way is very Australian and may explain why the Aussie “she’ll be right” attitude can cause more harm than good. Thus, humour can be used as a pillar to hide behind, which can have damaging consequences for society.
In order to understand this we need to dig a little deeper into the anatomy of a joke. In short, a joke has two parts: set up and punchline. The set up is used to build tension and the punchline relieves the tension. The issue with this model is that not all tension can be relieved. This can result in serious issues being taken less seriously as the tension associated with them is released in a punchline. For example, Australian stand up comedian Hannah Gadsby has a skit where she tells her coming out story. Her story is full of tension and punchlines, it is very funny. However, her experience, and the experience of lots of LGBTQ+ people is not one of humour or laughter. It is one of tension, lots of tension, extreme tension, sometimes so much tension it results in mental health problems or suicide. Furthermore, there are some jokes that are so persuasive that they can freeze in time. Lots of sterotypes today have their origins in comedy and humour. For example, black face originated from minstral shows where white actors would apply black face and mock African Americans, degrading them in the process. Using humour in these instances is a double edged sword, on one hand it can make a confronting topic more digestible, on the other hand, it risks downplaying the severity of the issue.
In summary, humour can be useful in making communication memorable and more relatable, but the laughter must not come at the expense of the topic at hand. If it does, then humour perpetuates stereotypes and it relieves tension where it ought not to be relieved. Given the recent political and social issues, instead of reaching for the punchline to relieve tension we should all get better at living in the tension because that is the only way progress can be achieved.. ###Response: 80-84 |